Two Hot Takes - 71: Experiences to Avoid.. ft. Olivia O'Brien

Episode Date: June 23, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Olivia O'Brien! This episode features a variety of stories include experiences that should just be avoided... but at least Olivia was here to give some takes and help navigate the weirdness w/ us. First story starts at the 7:38 mark.  Partners: Lumi Labs: Microdose.com Promo code: THT Obe Fitness: Obefitness.com Promo code: THT Babbel: Babbel.com/THT Factor: Go.Factor75.com/THT120 Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Get your own "What's in the Box?!" at https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan, and today I'm joined by the amazing Olivia O'Brien. The amazing. The amazing. The circus act. No, you're just like such a good performer. Thank you.

I was so fucking bummed. I went to Coachella this year and my ass, I was, you were Saturday. I was Sunday. Yeah. Even worse. I was so fucking hungover and I like had it on my schedule. I'm like, we're going to go, Justin, because my boyfriend's in music and he like wanted to see everyone and anyone.

And so I'm like, no, I was like, I don't care about that person. I like, we need to be there for Olivia. Because I want to see Jocelyn and my hungover self, you know, neon carnival the night before was not the best idea. Yeah. Yeah. Sunday is always a really rough day for everyone. Like, all my friends, I thought my friends weren't going to make it and they've pulled

some shit on me like that before where they like don't show up like weekend two. They were all at the festival and none of them came to my set. Weekend one, they all came. But I didn't think they were shit. Yeah. They are. Yeah. Yeah.

But they, weekend one, they were all like, oh my God, I'm on the floor throwing up. Like I can't, like my hairstylist also did my friend Stoss and she was like banging on Stoss's door. Like, she was like, don't worry, Olivia, I'm going to get her to come. She was like, Stoss, we need to glam right now. We are going to miss the set. They like did it really fast and she, they all made it and they were there. It was fine.

But I was so worried for them because they were all so hungover. They've been partying for like three days. They'd been in Palm Springs or in, I think they were in, I don't know, I don't know what exact, Rancho Garage. It all like, yeah, it all blends in over there. But they had been in the desert for like two days before Coachella even started too. So they were like, fucked. It is a bender.

It's a tough gig over there. But you're an amazing performer. Some of your songs are just, they're incredible. And you're, I feel like your, your Coachella performance went so viral with Logan like holding up the sign. Yeah. That was a funny little, little revenge for you. No, it's not a revenge.

We're like, we're like really, really close friends. Like we talk all the time. So it was just kind of like a fun thing. And like, I had just broken up with my boyfriend like a week before that because otherwise like my ex-boyfriend was really like jealous of my like friendship with Logan and would get super weird about like me ever talking to him. So I wouldn't have like invited him out to do that if I was still with my ex. So I was like, fuck it.

Like this is an idea that I had and like, I think it would be cool. And like Logan's always wanted to be on a Coachella stage. He went through a phase when he wanted to be a singer. Oh my God. He realized it probably isn't going to happen. But yeah. So he got to kind of live out his little fantasy and being on a Coachella stage. And then I got to like make a little fun joke and have a little moment.

So it was good. I think it was really fun for both of us. Yeah. No, it looked, it looked so funny. It's looked like a good time. I can't even imagine like the anxiety I get before having guests come on the podcast. I'm like, I don't know how the fuck you do it. I was like, you just, you're magical.

You just had to take a couple shots before. That's why I also did tequila. I'm like, I'm sure you don't want that tequila. I needed some tequila before walking down the street to get here because I was literally, that was my most anxious part because I was walking by like, there was like, there's like construction outside. Yeah. Like where I, the street where I parked, there was two like LADWP workers like right next

to where I parked. I got out of the car and I was like, I'm wearing like a mini, mini skirt and I had to keep walking and like as you walk, like you have to keep pulling it down. And I just looked like, I was like, fuck, I look so slutty right now. I couldn't bust you in the garage too. I was like, I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to like make it. I'll just park my car and like walk.

And I was like, no. It was really hot outside. I decided to wear a mini skirt. It was really stupid. Whatever. You look good. Thank you. So I watched a couple things of yours like other interviews you've gone on.

One of my favorites was you did a what's in the bag or something for refinery. I was fucking dying. I literally was like, this is my person. Like I literally was like fake ID got taken. Yup. Check. You like strip clubs. Love it.

I love strip clubs. My friend AJ, like he is my guy friend that always takes us to the strip club and like gives us ones. And he always, every time after we go to the strip club, he calls me the next day and he's like, you can come to the strip club with me anywhere we go. Anytime, any city you were always invited, please come with me. I just have so much fun there. I don't know why I'm just in my element.

I fucking love them. And we've had some strip club stories on the podcast that have like created a lot of controversy because everyone views strip clubs so differently, but I'm like, I fucking love them. I love strip clubs. Have you been to 11 in Miami? No. I haven't been to Miami. I need to go.

Well, actually, no, Magic City is the best one. I went to Magic City and I was literally like in Atlanta and it's like I was, I had no words and I'm standing there. And I remember this guy, I think it was a guy came up to me and like, like tapped on my shoulder like this and was like, it's your first time as in it. I was like, oh, and they're like, welcome to Magic City. And it was like a movie. I was like, oh, this is crazy at the strip.

We were like up at like by the ceiling, like doing like crazy shit. Like two of them together. I was, it was insane. I was just like, I ended up buying a hat. So I had that 11 hat and a Magic City hat. I just started doing that. I went, I went to one in Austin recently. Yeah.

So I love the strip club moments and then your beans. Like you had beans in your purse. Yeah. I was just like, like I just, a lot of the, most of the stuff was just like, how can I just be so weird? Yeah. I was like, I just want to put stupid stuff because like what I normally have in my purse is really boring.

It's like old gum wrappers and like trash. Yeah. And like a weed pen, maybe like four. Yeah. I feel that. I feel that. Because of my wallet. I'm, yeah.

My phone wallet, maybe a snake venom lip gloss and that's about it. Earplugs. Cause I hate. Well, when I have my shit, when I have my big bag, I got a lot more stuff in here. Oh yeah. Look at that. Hair ties. Oh, you're good.

Old airline tickets and see where's this Puerto Vallarta. Oh, a traveler. Yeah. It's not as fun as the, as the what's in my bag video. Like the vibe I got. I was like, you seem like you're just like so chill yet up for anything fun. And despite being 22, like, I feel like you've just, you've got so much experience under your belt already.

Yeah. I mean, I moved here when I was 16. So like I pretty much had to grow up. Yeah. Really fast. And I moved in, I originally, I started coming down, I think, I think the first time I came to LA to record, I hate you. I love you.

I was like 15 and a half or something like almost 16. Maybe I was, maybe I was newly 16. I'm not sure. The song came out when I was 16. And then I was in LA with my dad for a little bit. And then I think when I was like 16 and a half, I moved in, well, I was 16 and a half like what? Whatever.

I was also, I was also still 16. I moved in with my friends. And then since then I've lived on my own. So like I just had to be in it all, although my dad does still help me with a lot of things. But yeah, I was like shaking my ass in Bootsy Bellows at like 16. I just, you grow up pretty fast. You do. Yeah.

I've seen a lot of shit. I can tell you that. Well, you're going to be well-equipped to give your takes on these stories on. Oh God, I'm really nervous. No, no, no, no. They're easy and we're starting off light. Okay. Okay, let's dive in.

So up first, today I fucked up by thinking it was normal to shower with socks on. Happened a month ago, growing up, we never really went on vacation or stayed anywhere overnight other than in our own home, aside from the occasional camping trip. And I was always taught from a young age that when I took a shower, I had to put on my shower socks, which were basically those grippy socks that the hospital gave you. We had hooks on the wall to hang the socks on so that they could dry off after showering. Well, when I moved into my college dorm for the first time last month and went to take a shower, I asked my roommate where the sock hooks were.

He looked at me confused. So I explained the hooks for putting your shower socks on so they can dry off. He didn't believe me for some reason. So I showed him my shower socks and he nearly died laughing. Apparently for the past 20 years of my life, it was not normal to wear socks in the shower. How can you be that? If you've never had a sleepover, you've never done anything. If you've never watched a show where people shower and you see that they're not wearing

socks and they don't hang their socks up afterwards, you have to be really out of touch with life to think that to go 20 years with that. Have you heard about the poop knife? I saw it right there. I was like, what's that? You're like, what the fuck is this girl doing? So there's a famous story on Reddit about a poop knife. And this guy was like, I today fucked up by learning not every family has a poop knife.

Oh, actually, I did see that. Went like 29 years literally thinking it's normal to just like cut your big poops. And so now it's a product that I got as like a gag gift. I should probably hide that when people come over. I was like, what's that? That's cool. Looks like something I'd have in my bag. I was like, sorry, wait, I actually, I gotta go.

This girl's really weird. You should have had it in your bag. But yeah, he does have some edits and goes, oh no, it's what have I done? Answering some questions. To wash my feet, I always just took the shower handle thing and blasted my feet with the water. I have not confronted my parents about this yet. Also, no, I haven't noticed people taking showers in movies, not wearing socks. I can't remember any scenes from any movie.

I've seen where someone was in a shower. I don't watch a lot of movies or shows though, to be honest. Just, yeah, just seems pretty, pretty out of touch to me. Yeah. But like they say it in public or shared bathrooms that you should wear like flip-flops because you can get like warts on your feet. So maybe he's like kind of doing it right. Maybe we should all be wearing shower socks.

Well, like I wore crocs in college and I'm like, I'm trying to- That makes more sense. Yeah, because there's holes. Wet socks, like who wants to have their feet in wet socks? No. That sounds horrible. That's the first thing, that's the last thing that I want other than like wet underwear. That's like the last thing that I want to be wet.

Oh my God, yeah. Clothing-wise. Clothing, just let's just clarify that. Clothing. The last thing I want to use. Where's your mind at today? I don't know. The gutter.

I love it. Yeah, no, this kid, he grew up under a fucking rock. So there's, well, at least he found out now. Yeah. There's hope for him. At least he was 20 and not 29, the poop guy. The poop guy, yeah. But he started a worldwide phenomenon.

Bringing people together. Yeah, hopefully he got the patent on that thing. Makes some money. I'm going to look like a raccoon after this. I'm like laughing so hard. Okay, up next. My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now, but I hadn't met his family until a week ago,

when they invited us to stay at their house. I was very excited to meet his parents for the first time, and they were super sweet when I got there. Both of them are lovely people, and we got along really well. They gave us free reign to do whatever, but the one thing they insisted on was that we joined them for their tradition of eating oranges as a family

on Saturday morning. They grow their own oranges and have been doing this since my boyfriend was a kid. So he was especially thrilled to share the tradition with me as a rite of passage. So the morning came, and his mom brought in some fresh oranges from the garden. We sat at the table,

and I was getting ready to peel my orange when I saw my boyfriend's mom bite into her orange, like it was an apple, with the peel still on. I was so stunned when I saw my boyfriend and his dad do the same thing with their oranges, as if it were totally normal. I guess they noticed my shock

because they asked me why I wasn't eating. So I started to peel my orange, but then his mom told me to stop, that I was eating it wrong, and had to bite into it with the skin to get the full experience. I politely told her that I like to peel my oranges, and I'm sure they taste just as great either way,

but she kept insisting that I had to bite into the orange for tradition. After saying multiple times that I'd rather peel it and the family, including my boyfriend, pushing back, I put the orange back on the table and said, though I appreciate the gesture, I personally feel uncomfortable eating oranges that way, and I'd rather not participate.

Things were a little tense after that, and we left the next day. When we got home, my boyfriend chewed me out for being rude and embarrassing him and his family. He said I should have just eaten the orange the right way, since his parents were gracious to let me stay with them. I can see his point,

and I apologize for causing any hurt. I really do like his family, and they are great people. But I do stand by my decision to opt out of the orange tradition. He feels I could have compromised, and I feel I should be able to eat things how I want. It's a silly squabble in the grand scheme of things, but my boyfriend and I are really at odds about who's in the wrong and would love an outsider's opinion.

Am I the asshole? At first, I was like, oh, that's so cute. They eat oranges on Saturdays. They bite into the skin. It's kind of nasty. If there's too much appealing orange, or there's too much white stuff on it, it's bitter. I take that shit off.

I've never eaten the actual outside of it. I'm curious now. Do you think the family thinks that it's... that's the way that you eat oranges, and they all think that? Has she never eaten an orange with her boyfriend before? That's a good question. How does he do it regularly?

He's telling her to eat it the right way. Is it just something they do as a funny tradition? Like, oh, we eat them this way for the tradition? Or do they always eat all oranges like that, and they think that that's normal? I feel like based on the way they were saying it and how she wrote it, I feel like that's their normal way. I feel like...

That's really fucking weird. I don't know why they would think that. It literally has a peel on it. Like, you're supposed to peel it. It's like eating a fucking banana. Like, the peel. I'm so confused. So there are some edits.

Some people have been asking what kind of oranges, whether they're actually oranges. All I can say is that I was told they were oranges, and they looked like typical oranges with thick skin. And then here's a photo of the tree in their backyard from a few years back. So, like... Yeah, those are definitely oranges.

And they're not even the kind of oranges with the thinner. No. They're like thick, like, yeah. They're big oranges. I was gonna say, it's just like a cum clot. You like eat the fucking skin of those. But those are also, like, kind of nasty. Like, they start to be like,

like, it takes one hour for the first time. Mountains just started like watering at you about it. I was in Vegas one time. I mean, you know how, like... We went to, like, our friends... Whenever I go to Vegas, I go to Vegas for like 24 hours. So I never stayed... Or not even 24 hours.

I go and then I just, like, party and then I leave. So we brought our friends like, villa thing. And they had like... Those like, crazy hotels, they had like big bowl of like weird fruits. And there was cum-cats in there. I tried to eat it. And I was like, this is so disgusting,

and I kept trying to get everyone to eat them. I know nobody would eat them. Your oranges that are supposed to, you're supposed to eat the skin of are gross. No, they're so sour. So what's the point of this? I'm a texture person too, like if a banana is too hard, I can't eat it.

Cause it almost like feels like powdery in your mouth. Like it almost, it leaves like a residue. Chalky. Yeah, that's the word. And so we went to like an open house recently and like our realtor, there was a cumquat bush at the house we went and looked at. And our realtor was like, have you tried one before?

And I'm like, no. And she literally went and picked him off the tree and made me eat it. I'm like, I didn't even get to wash it. I was like, oh my God, I just got peer pressured by my realtor, but I love her so it's okay. But just, it was so weird, but I can like,

I can taste it around her. Yeah, so don't, I think, I think she's in the right. I think that's weird that they would make her try to fucking eat like that's, they should use Google. Like how to properly eat an orange. It's so. How to eat an orange. There has to be a tutorial.

Like, I don't know, it's not, it's weird saying it's like a fetish, but it almost feels like a fetish where they like enjoy watching someone get out of their comfort zone and eat this orange in such a weird way. But that would imply that they know that it's weird. And they're like, they're like trying to be weird to her.

Which also could be the thing, but then that is that worse or better? I don't know. I feel like it's, I think it's better if they actually think that's how they eat it. But then it's like they're dumb. Also true. So she has like a shit ton of edits here.

No, they don't just bite into it once to make it easier to peel. They don't peel the oranges at all. They eat the whole thing. Fruit, skin and pith. Like one, the pith. What's the pith? I don't know.

What the fuck is a pith? It sounds like you're Mike Tyson saying piss. Pith. The pith of oranges and other. Ew, okay. It's the stringy, spongy, white stuff. Which like, even if I eat cuties, I peel that off. I peel that off.

I just like, I'm so. Not until the pith. I hate the pith. Not a pith girl. Not about it. So like one would eat an apple. Yes, it is messy. Yes, the skin is thick. The tradition involves eating the entire orange like that, not just a bite.

I do recognize that I could have surrendered to a bite just to keep the piece. However, this is the first time I've seen my boyfriend eat an orange. He never ate them with me as he would say that nothing compares to his parents oranges. He has seen. Okay, this is weird and culty.

Nothing, I'll never eat an orange. It's not from my mom's tree. This is giving cult vibes. He has seen me, our friends and other people on TV eat oranges peeled. I assume the same goes for his parents. My boyfriend has never commented before on the common peeling technique.

His parents do this every Sunday. I'm not sure how they eat their oranges on other days, but I imagine it's the same. The whole family is expected to participate every Saturday when at the parents house. But I don't have to do it in my own home. I don't know if not, do they have cameras? Yeah, this is getting really culty and weird.

It's definitely some weird fetish thing. I'm getting that because how many times, I get, it's kind of like the socks thing where I'm like, I can't think about a time where I've seen someone like specifically eat an orange on a show. I feel like a lot of people also cut up their oranges so then they can hold the peel and then just like bite it off.

But... I've definitely never seen anyone fucking bite into an orange peel though, so. No, also it just would be, it would be really hard. So strange, there was an update, but unfortunately it looks like the moderators of Am I the Asshole decided to be assholes themselves and delete it.

So we don't know whatever happened, but the top comment on this one, I like how you were just calmly answering this, like this isn't some crazy cartoon bullshit. Nobody eats orange peels and all. I mean, fuck. They peel into individual sections that are damn near bite-sized.

I literally cannot imagine why you would do this in the first place. Have you considered the possibility that they are just fucking with you? But for real, not the asshole. And they reply, I kind of thought they were fucking with me at first and was really surprised when they kept insisting.

They seemed dead serious. So I think you're... I think if someone was fucking with me, I'd be like, ha ha, like whatever, we'd move on. And if they were serious, I'd be like, you guys are fucking weird and I cannot date this person anymore. Yeah. I don't know if that makes me like a really picky,

but if someone, that's like really, that's like, that's a big, this deal breaker. I was gonna say with this, not just a red flag, that's a deal breaker. That's like, you guys are fucking weird. What's the weirdest? The whole family is weird. What's the weirdest thing like a family has made you do? I mean, I never even,

I don't really date people that often, let alone meet their family. It's like, I met, oh, I met my ex's family. I actually really liked his family. That was like the one thing I was sad about when I was his family. His sister's birthday party in London. They wanted me to sing.

There was like, any time that we would go out to dinner and his dad would be there, there would be like, when we were in Paris, one time his dad lives in Paris. And there was like a live singer and he kept being like, to the singer, he was like, she's a singer, she's gonna sing, she's gonna sing, she's gonna sing.

He'd always want me to sing whenever there was like anything. So he, well, his sister at first, my ex's sister was like, Olivia, you have to sing a song. And then her like, she has like four or five sons. And like, one of them came up to me and he's like 13. He was like, are you gonna sing? And then the dad comes up to me and was like, Olivia, you're singing tonight.

And I was like, okay, fine. I guess. And so then I got like wine drunk and then ended up singing at the end of the night to like, it was like, it was her like 40th birthday party. So, and it was like all of these random people I didn't know they were all British or like mostly British or like from other places

around Europe. They didn't know a single one. They were all like in their 40s or like older. And then there was like some kids. It was a really awkward. But I did it. And afterwards I was like, I think that was like really embarrassing for me.

I sang Dream's Wife, Lee Woodmack. So. No, kudos to you. Honestly, kind of, I get it because you are really talented. And it's like, oh, Olivia's singing at my birthday. Like it's, I don't know, it's really exciting for them. But also I feel like it's so,

like it's more embarrassing on their part. It's just, no, it's just, it was just awkward. Cause it's like, I, first of all, it's like, I'm not like a party singer. Like I don't have like songs prepared that I can just like sing and like just go up and do. And then it's also just like, I don't like, the smaller the audience, the more awkward it is.

Like imagine if I just was like singing for you two right now and was just like, okay guys, I have a song for you and just like started singing. Like that would be weird because it's like everyone's like, like the, the smaller the room, the closer the people are to you, like the weirder it is for you to just like sing. I feel like so I'm just like cringing on the inside for you.

I just like, I can't even imagine. I was like, this is for you, Marissa. I think that might be weirder than the oranges. I don't know about that. But yeah, it was for you, pretty weird. Oh my gosh. So never singing again. Oh my God, look at how much I'm shaking

after doing Pilates once. It's too weird. The arm things. Just Pilates once. There's something weird about Carrie's machines too. They're like stronger machines than normal. Yeah. I kept having to ask her to like change the, the springs

because I was like, I'm not girl, I'd spend two months, please let me help them go. I know they're fucking nuts. They're always like two red springs, one yellow. And I'm like, I'm going to do one fucking yellow. I always do whatever the easiest one is. Yeah, same. Unless I'm going, when I'm going religiously,

then I get good at it. And then I'm like scary. But I feel that otherwise new, new. What's up, everybody? I'm Mike Wilson with Any Hour Services. And if you've been thinking about replacing your old water heater, Any Hour Services is here to help and save you some money.

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Google Any Hour Services or schedule online at AnyHourServices.com. No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. OK, another, another weirdo. And then I think the rest are dramatic. OK. And by the asshole for throwing away my boyfriend's potentially illegal yogurt collection.

Well, I love yogurt. It's like a fact about my, about me that you can ask any of my friends and like random like guys that I like. For some reason, they all know me as like the person that like really likes yogurt. Like my, like my friend's Dawson's in our group chat the other day, like she was eating a parfait and she was like, I feel like Olivia.

So this is, this is my specialty. Oh my God. And like this one guy I'm talking to every time he sees a certain type of yogurt, he always sends me a phone call. And this other guy I was talking to. And Logan once was on a podcast, we were at Iceland and they were talking about yogurt because in Iceland they like, they have what's it called Icelandic skir.

Skir? SKY Arts, I can have yogurt and it's really good. And I was eating it. And on the, he went, he did a podcast with the guy who plays the mountain on Game of Thrones, the first name. And he was talking about it. And Logan was like, actually there's a girl on this trip

and she really loves yogurt. I was like, should she come this thing? Like everyone knows that I love yogurt for some reason. I do, I love yogurt. But like, why is that, everyone talks about it. It's a part of your brand now. Yeah, it's who you are. So let's continue with the yogurt.

Perfect. Oh my God. I, 29 female, my boyfriend is a 30 year old male. We've been living together for two years in a little studio in a very expensive big US city. My boyfriend grew up rurally with lots of space, enough to collect all kinds of things. He collected action figures and video games

and all the normal kid stuff when he was young. But as he grew older, he became interested in more unusual things. As a teen, he had eight guinea pigs of different types from different breeders. Since Tide Pods were released seven years ago, he's saved every one of every kind of Tide Pod. He's got a big box of international variety

of electric insulators, those little ceramic hats that power lines wrap around on power poles. He's not a hoarder, he's usually neat, just used to having lots of space for his bizarro collections at his parents' ranch. He has two big rooms full of containers of weird and impressive things. He recently has become interested in yogurt.

He's always hated dairy products until a year ago. He now just started drinking milk and sharing ice cream with me, but he's found a love for yogurts. So he now collects them, of course. The problem is that they're perishable. So until earlier today, our little 550 square foot apartment

contained about 2,100 cups of yogurt. It comes in tons of varieties, different flavors, different types, textures, containers made by different companies in different countries. This is like crack to my boyfriend. So he tried to pretty much save a sample of everything he could find.

He filled our fridge, bought a new fridge, and then another tiny bedside fridge. He said he didn't want to walk to the fridge at night, but it was obviously a ruse to get more yogurt space. These fridges all filled up with his yogurts, and if you keep them for long, they smell bad. Sometimes the packaging breaks. So our apartment was smelling like rotten milk

for the last two weeks. And my boyfriend's attitude was, oh, it's fine, just deal with it for a little while longer until I pulled the plug and threw it all out this morning. I was looking at my groceries, which I had to put beside the fridge because there was no space, and everything smelled like death.

And then I kind of snapped and just threw it all away. My boyfriend is understandably upset. We've been arguing about whether I crossed a line by throwing away his stuff. And he's especially upset because he, of course, had rare yogurts that were hard to find. In particular, he had some Cuban and Iranian yogurts that you can't get in the U.S.

But I know that we have trade sanctions against Iran and Cuba, so I don't know if it was even legal for him to have those. I asked where he got his Iranian yogurt, but he kept insisting the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here. And the real issue is me throwing out his precious yogurts without permission.

Am I the asshole? It was already weird when he was collecting like tide pods. People that collect, like I understand collecting a few cool things that are really interesting, but collecting things like that, you have something wrong in your brain. And don't get wrong, I have lots of things wrong

in my brain, but that's like same. That's like you should go get that checked out and maybe get some help for that, because you can't just, also why can't you just clean out the containers and just save the containers? That was my thought. He doesn't get to try them.

I have a weird root beer bottle collection because I like root beer. It's not like a collection. There's like maybe 15 of them on my windowsill, my kitchen. Okay, that's cool. But they're all empty. Yeah, but then you, did you get to try them all? Yeah, we did, me and my roommate,

we did like a root beer, we have a shared note where we rated every root beer because we wanted to find the best root beer and then we like kept the bottles. But like, I don't know, keeping like perishable food items in their full containers is like weird. It's so strange.

Was he trying it and then like putting it, the thing back on the yogurt and then like leaving it cause that's like even worse. Well, that would explain why it smells so bad because I've had like a yogurt or something like you forget in the back of your fridge. And if it's sealed,

it doesn't really smell that bad slash at all because it's so sealed but he must have been taste testing cause otherwise like what's the point if you're not even going to try them? And then that would explain the smell. I don't know. I just think he's a really weird guy

and that no one should be dating him. He needs to work on himself. It is interesting. I'm surprised she doesn't mention like he has ADD and cause like ADD, ADHD, it's kind of like a known thing where you like kind of hobby jump and collect like like different hobbies

but he's like bouncing from different. But when it's like affecting your life, like there's something you can do, like you can go like see someone about like how to fix that cause you can't be in a relationship if you are prioritizing having like 2000 things of yogurt in your house or like that smell bad and they're like making someone upset.

Like that's like not, you can't date someone that's doing that. Like that's just not, it's not going to work. It's fucking weird. Also their apartment's tiny, 550. I'm buying a new fridge for it too. Like that's like some, that's like just, it's just a little, a little crazy.

What the fuck is their power bill every month? I can't even imagine. I do feel bad though that for something that he was so attached to, that she did just kind of toss. Yeah, she could have at least been like enough is enough. Or like, hey, let's pour them all out and let's keep your containers

because if they are his passion, like they're easily probably like stackable inside one another and that saves space. Yeah. Oh, you really thought about that. I know. I'm just like really diving in on this poor yogurt boy. Yeah.

I mean, I feel like that's what I would have suggested before throwing it away, but I would have probably suggested that like in the beginning, because why are you saving the actual yogurt? If it's, it gets going to go bad. Maybe he likes sniffing it later. If it smells like rotten, dead bodies. Some people are into sniffing weird stuff.

Okay, that's another, another red flag. Yeah. Oh my God. I don't know how comfortable you are with poop, but there was one story recently where this guy was collecting jars of diarrhea. His own or other people's. His own.

That's nice. Yeah. They were like ordered on a shelf in like viscosity, like like clarity or whatever that word is, that fancy word. Disturbing, people are disturbing. That's the moral of the story. This is why I never go on Reddit.

I will tell you that. Shoot, I was going to send you home with a Reddit pillow too. Never go on there. It scares me. Oh my God. Actually, my roommate Quinn is the biggest Reddit person in the entire planet.

She's trying to. Yeah. She's like obsessed with Reddit. Like that's literally all she does is like, I'll tell her about something. She's like, well Reddit said that, but I'm like, okay, great. Okay. Send me Quinn's number.

We'll get her ass on here. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to three, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. FedderHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online

so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better, H-E-L-P.com. Okay, moving along. This was a little more normal.

I, 24 female, found out my fiance, 23 male, was in love with my best friend before we got together. No. Immediately, no. My fiance and I just got engaged last month. We've been together for three years and honestly, it's been almost perfect. Last weekend, we were celebrating

and everyone was pretty drunk. One of my fiance's friends mentioned finding it amusing how he ended up with me despite liking my best friend originally. When I asked what he meant, they said my fiance had a crush on my best friend before we got together. Apparently, he was, quote, completely in love with her.

On top of that, I was told he originally became friends with me to get closer to my friend. I didn't find it funny and I got really upset. The night kind of went to shit and I ended up just leaving. My fiance claims that they exaggerated and it wasn't that bad. He said he had a small thing for her

and became friends with me by coincidence. We had met at uni and I honestly don't know for certain which is true. He claims that once we started to get close, he completely forgot his crush and just fell head over heels in love with me. I don't know what to feel. He's been an amazing partner and I love him so much.

I know he hasn't tried anything with her. She would have let me know immediately but I just hate knowing this. I know I'm not as beautiful as her or anything but I really thought I finally found someone who wanted me but I'm just the backup because he didn't get the girl he wanted. It hurts so much and I just feel so betrayed.

He's tried to assure me he loves me and she means nothing romantically but I just don't know. Can't stop hurting and I don't know what to think or who to believe. What should I do about this? This is just like one of those shitty things where you just like,

that's just something you just kind of never, even if you did like have a crush on, even if like I never believe men but let's say we're believing him. Even if he like really did, was in love with his fiance and it was just like a fleeting thing like he was into the girl

and then he like realized he actually liked her. Even if that's the case, like you just like never tell them that and they can never find out because that's just gonna ruin or you tell them in the very, very beginning so that the relationship doesn't, cause like you don't wanna get to a point where you think it's one thing

and you're fucking engaged to that person and then the trust is broken and then you're like, whoa, this is crazy. So yeah, I don't know. I really don't know about that one. It's tough because I'm, I also wonder I'm like, is there any coming back from this

because it sounds like they're like still in that same friend group and like one, his friends were absolute assholes for saying stuff like shit-faced blackout drunk or not. Like, throw them under the bus like that but it's almost like no matter what he says, is she ever gonna be able to get that out of her head? Oh yeah, like literally.

I mean, that's like when I, I mean, he actually was cheating on me. So whatever, but when I first started like getting like any kind of like people would tell me like, your boyfriend's going out and doing this and whatever and like even if I didn't have any proof of it, like it's the only thing you think about until you break up. Like whether it's true or not,

like it's literally the only thing I'll think about. I know. And like if they hang out and they're just a little too close one day or it's, she'll never be able to forget it. And I get a crush is different than being in love. So like, yeah, there's a lot of gray area there but it's still like for his friends to say that

means there's some bit of truth to it. And even if it could be true, like that he had a crush on the friend, but and then like just realized it was maybe just only a physical thing or it was like, but still the fact that he was attracted to her at all at any point is kind of like. Yeah, that's shitty.

The top comment on this one, a crush is not love. It's an initial reaction of attraction. That's it, no more. I'm married to the love of my life who know, I did not have that initial reaction too. It wasn't until we started talking that I was like, wow, I really liked this guy. Then it was love.

And now I can't imagine my life without him. He's been my person for 20 years. Breathe, don't make too much out of this. He chose you. He has zero interest in her after knowing her. He loves you. No, he never loved her. This person's very optimistic.

I just like can't believe men ever. So like it's really hard for me to like just, I just know how she feels. So I would just, I would probably break up with her. I know. Or I would just start a fight every single day until he would break up with me, which is what I did with my ex-wife right there.

Hopefully, why didn't you want to just break up with him? Well, I did break up with him like a bunch of times within the next day. I would be like, oh no, it's fine. Like we can be together. So I was like bored. Also, you're so young. You're only 22.

Yeah. I don't want to be in a long-term relationship. I never realized until I'm out of it one. And then I'm like, why was I doing that? That's so boring. And I never write any songs that I'm in a relationship. I'm always so bored. I'll go into sessions and be like, I have nothing.

No, emotional, creative juice. So. Yeah. In an instant. Quickly. Fast. Wait. This couple is so young too.

Like he's only 23, which maybe LA has just kind of fucked me up. But I feel like guys out here have Peter Pan syndrome. And like never. Never grow up. Settle down or grow up or like even up 35. Like they're still not proposing to their girlfriends of four years, five years. And it's like.

Well, they're also cheating on them. So there's that. Okay, up next. My husband is pushing me to agree to make my sister our surrogate using the traditional way. Oh, like so he would fuck the sister. No. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility.

We tried some options and right now we're looking in a surrogacy. My sister agreed to do it, but my husband said he looked at how much and time IVF would take and slowly started hinting that we should take the traditional way. It was too shocked to even say anything, but he acted like what he said was not even that big of a deal. He explained that it's just a quick way for us to have a baby and spare the money and time to use later.

I'm 100% against it. I'm backing down and I'm no longer comfortable with this whole surrogacy route. I can't even imagine my sister's reaction once she hears my husband's suggestion. I'm both devastated over the fact that one, he's even entertaining having sex with my sister just because he wants the easy way. And two, if I ever agree, despite feeling uncomfortable, then I will always carry this memory of how the baby was conceived. I refuse.

I just like resent the child, just like fucked up. I refused and shut his suggestion down hard. He's now started guilting me, saying I don't trust him. Then saying... Oh no, I don't trust you to fuck my sister, dude. In what fucking world? So, so crazy. Then saying I'm selfish.

Girls are so crazy. Women are just nuts. Please don't fuck my sister. Oh, you're just crazy. Yeah. Oh my God. This is gaslighting 101 right here. Jesus Christ.

Says I'm selfish for choosing to back out when he still wants to be a dad like he expected when he married me. Basically blaming me for the fertility issues. Women are not fucking sperm banks, bitch. Or what? Not sperm banks. Yeah. Sperm receptacles.

Sperm receptacles. Jesus Christ. I feel so bad because she goes here too. I feel so devastated and like my body is useless and has failed me to the point where I could expect any negative comment on it, whether true or not, emotionally and mentally. I just can't express how I feel right now. By the way, my sister is four years younger than me.

I'm 34 years old and my husband is 37. Just, I mean, reducing a woman's value to her body regardless of in what way is just always fucked up. That's like saying like, so if a woman is not fertile, she's not a woman. Like what the fuck is that? Or like what about like, I don't know.

That's just, that's like so not. And people do think that way. Like people have like some like guys are really fucked up and think of women as literally just like incubators for babies. Yes. That's become so apparent recently. I feel like she should just fucking divorce him because that's obviously a red flag that he thinks that way.

Like if he really loved her, he would just be like, you know what, I want to be with you. I saw this thing on TikTok the other day that was like, in a marriage or like a long-term partnership or relationship where you have kids, for the husband, the priorities should be in like a heteronormative relationship. For the husband, the priority should be the wife, then the kids, and then his like parents.

And then for the woman, it should be the kids and then the husband and then her parents. That's so interesting that it's different. The woman needs support because she's going to be the one like dealing with all this shit with the kids. So you have to choose, you have to pick her first. Yeah. Like always.

And if you can't do that, then you don't deserve to be having kids with her. No. If you don't want to like put her first, then you don't deserve to be fucking her sister. You don't deserve to be like even adopting or doing like any of the other options. There's so many other things they could do. They could adopt and they could go through with IVF

and doing all that stuff he just doesn't want to because he wants to fuck her sister. Like I'm so confused. That's the bottom line here. This is just an excuse for him. Yeah. Divorce. To have sex with the sisters.

Divorce babes. Divorce babes. Yeah. That's one word. Divorce. Sorry. Because also I'm not obviously not a fucking scientist. I don't know the specifics of IVF, but like,

and she is infertile. I'm not sure what that entails for her, but typically you still harvest eggs and then use his sperm to fertilize the eggs. So if he fucked the sister, it's the sister's baby. Yeah. She was conceived that way, but I don't think he fucked the sister.

I think they like took the sister's egg. Yeah. Or like they did and then put it. Yeah. But she's technically like her mom is her, genetically her aunt, which is crazy. Oh. Yeah.

Because she was like carried by her. Or maybe her aunt just donated the egg and her mom carried her. I'm not sure. But either way, she's genetically her aunt's child. Yeah. But her mom is her mom. That's so, so interesting.

But I know that he definitely didn't fuck the sister in that case. I think. I hope not. No. I'll ask her all that one. Hey, did your dad fuck your aunt? Good conversation started for you guys.

Hey, how's it going? Did your dad fuck your aunt? What's the deal here? Can you imagine? Yeah. I mean, if you're into it, I guess, but she's clearly not. Yeah.

No. That's a big no. Clearly he doesn't care about her as much as he should. If you're going to be, it's so rare that in a partnership between a man and a woman that a man does care enough, as much as he really needs to, to give the support that is needed to be with a woman. So he's definitely not one of the few that has it.

He doesn't have what it takes. No. He doesn't have it. The gaslighting at the end is a big red flag too. Very emotionally abusive. All gaslighters. Shit on men. I'm on my villain arc of hating men right now.

My whole, I was talking to my friend Kelsey earlier. My whole for you page is just things, not even just like, I hate men. It's like a three minute video of a man explaining why. Women's act. No. He's explaining it from the perspective of, he now realizes what he's done wrong,

but how men are trained and raised from birth to not think of women as anything but objects to obtain and everything feminine is bad. You're a sissy. You're a pussier. This and everything masculine is good. Everything feminine is bad. So they literally are trained from birth to not like you.

And then you're a trophy to bring back to their friends. The hotter you are, the more value you have. And they don't look at you as intellectual beings. So I see something like that every day. I get closer and closer to being like, I hate all of them so much. God, I literally, yesterday I was like, I think 90% of men ages 18 to like 75 are just like foul.

They're just like foul. They like make me want to vomit when I think too hard about them. But there's, there's some nice ones. I know some good ones. I do. I really do. There are some that are like woke and they, they get it. But God damn, there's so many bad ones.

There's so many. Yeah. I mean, they're all around. They're all around this. This man is one of them. Please get out. Get out girl.

You can still. Please while you're still. While you're still young. Drop us a pin. We'll come get you. Yeah. No. I feel that I should introduce you to my friend, Drew.

Cause she is just on tiktok. Oh, Drew. Yeah. The one that. Yeah. I love her. She's, she's great. Her content is amazing.

But some of those guys is just like, I think this way. And there's one, there's one video I saw recently where kind of on what you said where this guy was like, women get put in two categories. The guys, guys either want to fuck them or they're nothing. Oh my God. I also saw something talking about how like they like some,

they did like this experiment where they brought in an essay and they said it was, it was actually written by a man, but they said it was written by a woman and the, they like had to rate like the guys would have to rate how good they thought the essay was. And they would provide a photo of the woman that supposedly wrote the essay. And it wasn't that they rated the women that were prettier, better or the women that were less, less attractive, worse.

They rated the, the essays they rated the worst were ones that had no photo at all. So it's like, you can't, they couldn't even objectify them at all. So they rated them like really, really low scores. What the fuck? It's like they can't even decide whether they think this person is uglier or this woman is uglier or not.

If they want to fuck them or not. And then it, it went on to say statistics about how they think that people, like a lot of men think that the more attractive you are as a woman, the less like good you'll be at your job. Like you'll, you won't be able to get work done and you'll just be bad at it. And then they, and then if you're ugly, they like kind of think the same thing. Like they're just like, oh, well, she's like, whatever. And they just like write you off as like the ugly girl.

Yeah. And like, why are you, why do you? It's so, it's so fucked. I am, I have a friend. I'm so angry. I'm such an angry, horrible and sufferable woman. God. People are going to be in the comments.

Who hurt her? Everyone. Who hurt her? That was not even like, it's, I mean, obviously I recently got cheated on. So that's like, put you, I think that's why Tik Tok is showing me all of these things. Yeah. But I was the last person in my friend group to have gotten cheated on. Like I've seen it, this happened to every single one of my friends.

And like, I'm on the internet and I also have lots of guy friends and I hear the way they talk about women. And so it's just like, there's just things that just keep, I just keep seeing things that I'm trying to think positively, but it's just so, just getting so damn hard. And there are good ones. There are. There really are. I know, I know a few, but just a whole culture.

Male culture. Male culture is nuts. It's so bad. It's so bad. I know, it's just, there's hope. Is there? There's hope. I need to like, oh my God, I'm going to connect you with, I have a good one.

Well, there's hope. I don't know. This one is not going to make you feel hopeful though. I just, I'm traumatizing you so much. I'm traumatizing you so much. I feel fucking terrible. No, I mean, trust me, like I see this stuff. Sorry, I'm like trying to make sure I don't look crazy.

I see this stuff every single day on TikTok and all like, it's, I'm not kidding. Like my entire, For you Paige, you're very targeted. You need to go in and reset your cash. Yeah, it's like, it's gotten really bad. It's like, I go on TikTok and it makes me like depressed. Yeah, you got to reset your cash. Clear all that shit.

So this one probably isn't going to help. I'm like, I just don't know how much. It's actually really great that I feel this way because I write about it. So like, I don't want to be in a place where I'm like in a healthy relationship right now. Like I'm sure I'll meet that person eventually one day, but right now it's like, Is it for that Grammy? Yeah. And like all these people, like I got approached today in earth bar.

I was getting a smoothie after my workout and this kid came up to me and was like, thank you so much. You're helping me get through my first breakup. And I was like, oh my God, like fuck. Yeah, I just got cheated on. And he was like, me too. I was like, woo. So it's like, that's what I do for, you know, like we all like,

we're, even though there's times where I'm not as like hateful towards male culture, it's so, it's so useful in my art to like feel this passionately about something. And like, like I said, when I am in a relationship that I think is good and healthy, I'm not writing anything. So it's good. It's good for me to feel a little crazy. And I'm 22. Like I'm going to wait and maybe when I'm like 28, I'll start looking for like a nice boy.

I have a couple saved saved to the side. But I won't date them yet. No, keep them. They're too nice. Yeah. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog. Let's see if you think this guy has any coming back.

My husband admitted to his friends that he doesn't find me beautiful. Nothing feels the same anymore. Okay. Obviously no. Obviously to worse. I'm newly married and our honeymoon. I'm newly married and he already is saying she's not beautiful. I thought they were going to be like, we've been married for 87 years.

No. After our honeymoon, my husband had a group video call with his best friends. After I said hello and chatted for a bit with them, I excused myself to go for a walk. I decided I needed to get my raincoat because it looked like it was about to rain. But my husband and his friends thought I was already gone. They started interrogating him about our honeymoon and they were all teasing and laughing until one of his best friends asked him if my looks were still an issue for him. My husband told her that he loved me and that we had a great honeymoon and that I'm beautiful on the inside.

And he said, quote, you can't have it all. She insisted on wondering whether he felt he downgraded from his ex-girlfriend. And he said, maybe, but she makes me happy. Another friend then interjected and said, I wasn't bad looking if I lost some weight. My husband agreed. Nothing feels the same anymore. I always knew I wasn't beautiful, but I thought that he liked how I looked or at least didn't mind it so much. I know he values my other qualities and that he loves me and is very kind to me,

but I don't feel good with him and I haven't been happy since that day five weeks ago. I have lost weight under these weeks and he's paid me a lot of compliments about that. But I don't want him commenting anything about my physical appearance anymore. I hate even encouraging him to say things. And yet I feel like I need to be more appealing to him. I feel so much hurt. It's insane. I feel like when you love someone, even if you're not physically attracted to them in the beginning,

if you fall in love with their personality, you start to actually find them physically attractive even if they wouldn't be someone that you stereotypically be attracted to. So that's weird. And also if your friends are talking shit about, even if for some reason you are super in love with this person and you don't find them physically attractive, you never say that out loud. You never say that to your fucking friends and if your friends are saying that you defend them because you love that person, that's just fucking weird that he's talking to his friends saying that about his wife, like new wife too. Things are only going to go down helping there.

It's so bad. I didn't really pick up on that part, but now that you say it, the fact that they are so open and willing to just talk so much shit about her like this, they have to have been doing it for a long time. They probably did it from the fucking beginning. Yeah, and he allowed it. If he would have shut them down just one time maybe, just even one time at the beginning, if he would have been like, hey, you know, I really like her.

Don't talk about her that way. They wouldn't do that. Yeah. He's given them permission so many times to fucking do that. Yeah, because they're obviously so comfortable talking about it. She leaves the room for two seconds and they're like, so you still think she's fat? Like, are you kidding me? It's fucking disgusting.

Pigs. Pigs. It sounds like there was a girl in on it though too. Yeah. Yeah. One of the girlfriends. Yeah. Which is also like.

Terrible. Yeah. Terrible. Do you think that you think it's divorce worthy? Think therapy could save them at all? Couple therapy? I mean, I think everything is divorce. Don't get married, guys.

Run. I tweeted once. I don't believe in marriage, but I do believe in divorce. I should be on a t-shirt. I will put it on one. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, like, I obviously these are all just like random stories and it's also one side. She could be like making it more dramatic or less dramatic.

Like she could be making it seem better than it is because she's embarrassed or she could be making it seem way worse than it actually is because she's hurt. So I don't know. I think it's not the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. I think maybe he's just an idiot. I definitely don't think she should be losing way for him. I don't think she should be losing way for anyone. No, fuck no.

I also just don't even get me started on commenting when someone is like, you look so good. Yeah, she's sick to her stomach because she's not eating because you called her fat and ugly. Just don't comment on people's bodies. Simple. Yeah. I know. I think that's like the thing too. I think this potentially could have caused and it sounds like it did lifelong damage.

And like she's already losing weight, she said, which she shouldn't have to. She shouldn't at all. She should. And it's probably not in a healthy way. It's probably from like literally not being able to eat because like I've been there like when you like feel so insane over something that you just like don't, you can't eat because you're like nauseous. Yeah.

It's not healthy. No, not at all. I would, if they are going to stay together, definitely need to go to couples therapy. But I, people get mad because I do say divorce a lot and they're like, they're like, you say divorce, you throw it out there so nonchalantly. Your partner just showed you who he is and he doesn't respect you. He might say he loves you, but what if you do gain 20 more pounds? Is he still going to love you?

Because he already is like on the fence. Yeah. I think that's the thing about marriage is like, I think people kind of get carried away and are like, oh, we should be married and they don't really, really know. That's kind of how I feel about even just dating people. I'll be like in a whirlwind in the beginning and be like, oh my God, I should totally date this person. And then I start to find out slowly over time who they really are and it's not what I thought

and it's not good. And then you're like, oh shit, I'm already in this. And then you feel like because you're in it and you made this commitment to someone, then you feel like you should stay in it. But that's by no means what you should, like making a commitment to someone, especially like in this day and age, like if they're doing shady shit, if they're not going to make you happy, you're just wasting your time and wasting your life being with them and trying to make it work, especially as a woman.

Like because this happens so often and we let people walk all over us all the time, like you just can't be doing that shit. And that's why like, I mean, I've obviously said divorce. But yeah, I'm just, I think you can make a commitment to someone thinking they're a certain person or thinking they're a certain way. And then you find out later that they're not, I don't think that commitment still has to stand. If the person is a different person than you fucking committed to, then why does your commitment

have to stand if they're not going to be the same? Like that doesn't, but that doesn't add up. Yep. We're done here folks. That was great. We're ending. No, that was, yeah. Amazing.

That's exactly how I feel. I'm like, yes, I get marriage is a serious commitment. But like you said, if they're not upholding their bargain or if they're a liar or if they are hiding something, have been hiding something from you, like he literally is basically hiding the fact that he doesn't find her attractive. Like he probably calls her beautiful and does all the shit. It's like, just if you, like, even if he does think that way, which he shouldn't, because if you love someone, you, you start to see them as beautiful, even if you like wouldn't

initially have thought that, like it's just, it's all bad. Man. I know. I feel that too. Because just don't, you just don't say that. Like why are you saying that? Like I understand having mean thoughts. Like we all had thoughts about people being like, oh, he's like looking kind of gross right

now or like whatever. I would never say that. No. And even if I did say that, like it wouldn't be like, if I'm like in a relationship with someone and like really committed to them, like I would never do that. If it's like a random guy I'm talking to, I'd be like, yeah, he looked really weird last night. Whatever.

Yeah. I'd probably tell her to just face to. Read the room. Read the room. I do feel that though, because I've, I've been with my boyfriend now for three and a half years. It's been a minute. Um, but when I first like met him, I had no idea he was like interested in dating me.

He kind of like pulled this like, I'm from Minnesota, you're from Minnesota, just moved to LA from New York. Let's be friends. And so the first couple of times we hung out, I was like, oh, he just wants to be friends. No, not the case. He did not want to be friends. But I was so apprehensive about moving forward because his legs were smaller than mine. Like I'm telling you, it's fucking weird.

But I've, I'm like so self-conscious. You're not one of those girls that likes to have those skinny little cigarette boyfriends? No. I'm like, I've always dated hockey players, like being from Minnesota and like they've got nice asses, like thicker, like workout, they don't skip a leg day. So I was always like, I felt more confident in my body dating guys like that who had bigger legs than me. And so it was just, and that wasn't the case, but I have now like, I obviously love him.

I went, be fucking three and a half years deep if I didn't. And so the attraction did increase. Yeah. And it was, I think in my head, I was like, it was my block that was even like fucking with me to like not find him. Your insecurities came down after you realized that he was really into you and then that didn't become a problem. That was, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel that. Yeah. So. Yeah. I've dated all types of guys, all different types of what looks, whatever. But I, for me, it's mainly like about personality.

I mean, like I'm not going to date a guy that I'm like super, super not attracted to. But like, yeah, it's pretty much all about personality. I like funny guys and like stuff like that. And I feel like if I really get to know someone, I'm always more attracted to them by their personality. And I like, there's so many hot people. There's hot people literally on every corner. They're just everywhere, everywhere, every party I go to, like literally everyone is

hot. So why does it even matter anymore? Like it doesn't even matter. Looks literally don't even matter to me because I see male models and people all the time. I'm like, okay, great, you're hot. What else? And I'll talk to them. And I'm like, any substance or anything going on up there?

Nope. Okay. Next one. And that's like, like whatever. It's like hot guys aren't even hot anymore. I wish guys felt the same way of like, like judging us on personality, not just the way that we look. Intelligence.

I would have had a lot less plastic surgery. We live in such a tough world. Oh my God. Yeah, that sucks. I just saw an interview and this was like back when interview people were able to be fucking assholes, but it was for an interview with like Katherine Heigel and Seth Rogen after they did their movie together. I think it was knocked up.

And this interviewer was on TikTok and this interviewer was like, well, Katherine, like you were just on Maxim's hot 100 list and she's like, what? Like, what is that? I don't even know what the fuck that is. And then he goes to her and he goes, if you were going to put Seth on the hot 100 list, would he even make the list? Like basically being an asshole to Seth Rogen and Katherine was like, obviously he'd be number three.

Seth is fucking hilarious. Seth is great. And just kind of like snap back at him. And I'm like, yes, like it's, it's not about looks. Yeah. It's, I think women care way less about looks than guys do. Guys don't realize that. Yeah.

They don't. And they, and because they are almost like dressing up for each other, like they like want to like look like a certain way for each other and they don't realize like we don't really give a fuck. We care. Like I want you to be clean and I want you to be nice and I want you to wash your ass and not have dirty nails because those are going somewhere and have dirt on those. Yeah.

Like there's, it's very, there's the requirement. The bar is on the floor. The bar is on the floor. Oh my God. Yeah. And like I'd prefer that they're not super bald, but also like that's not even always a deal breaker for me. My ex-wife was balding.

You've got an eclectic taste. I like it. But that's how I love that. I think if you're closed minded and like you're just not going to find the right person or a person that could be your person, I'm like dating someone based on looks is so fucked if you think about it because you, they're not going to look like that forever. So that's just like, you're giving yourselves that expiration. Like you, if you, if your personalities don't get along, like looks are just a bonus thing

at the end of the day. If your personalities aren't like, if you don't feel like this person is like your soulmate and like you guys get along really fucking well, yeah, don't fucking marry them. Don't be a killer. No. Like just go fuck some or something. Go fuck a couple of times and then go move on with your life. That's why I could never like, if I were to ever become single again, like Jim Brose

are automatically out because I literally, I have this theory that Jim Brose like they only work out because of other guys. Yeah. Like that's why they're subsets. Like they're doing it to impress other guys. And then that's, those are the kind of guys that are going to use women as trophies to bring back their friends. Like look at fuck this hot chick, she's looking dope.

Sure are. Yeah. Got to walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to three, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. See you next week. Go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Find more balance with better help. Visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's better H-E-L-P.com. Okay, a couple more for you. Am I the asshole for holding my wedding at the same venue as my first husband's funeral? That's so me. That's so some shit I would do. Okay, well, let's see, let's get the context.

Last summer, my first husband passed away after being in a car accident a month before. The doctors expected him to pull through yet be paralyzed from the waist down, but he already had health problems and the trauma from the accident ultimately prevailed. I and his parents organized a funeral at a spacious old Catholic cathedral. I kept thinking to myself the whole time, this place is too beautiful for a funeral. For some reason, it felt wrong having such a sad occasion there. I even remember wishing that I had married my first husband there instead of the outdoor wedding we had.

Fast forward to early 2022. I reunited with an ex-boyfriend of mine from years before. We started dating again. It's always the ex. It's always the one they told you not to worry about. They come back. And before we knew it, we were engaged. I've been criticized a lot for how fast I moved on, but I guess everyone heals differently.

We started planning for the wedding in March. The wedding hasn't happened yet. It will be in May. And we decided that we'd have it at the same cathedral where my first husband's funeral was held. I'm still in contact with my first husband's parents and they were happy for me when I told them I was dating and when I got engaged. In a phone call, my first husband's mother asked about the wedding, so I said that they

could come if they wanted to. She seemed a bit taken aback at first, so I totally thought I screwed up. But she then said she'd love to. Then I told her that it would be held at the same cathedral as my first husband's funeral. And dot dot dot dot dot. She went off on me. I don't know how to explain what happened other than to just write the conversation down. Me.

We will be marrying at the blank cathedral. Silence. Her. I just can't believe it. Believe what? Silence. I'm sorry. This is just appalling to me.

Me. I want to have our wedding there in honor of first husband. I would have married him there if I knew about the place. Silence. Her. You're moving on too quickly. You need to slow down. Think of how first husband would feel.

You can't replace him. I'm not replacing him. I'm trying to keep his memory alive. I found love again, but I will never forget him. You've moved on. You've moved on. Blank first husband's name hasn't moved on. He will never move on.

And I'm sure if he were alive, he'd want to. Me. I'm sorry. She hangs up the phone. I haven't spoken to her or her husband since. I'm still planning on having me and my fiance's wedding there, but it just puts a bad taste in my mouth knowing that my first husband's parents are against it. But after all, they aren't involved in the wedding anyways, so I don't see why they should

have a say. I wish they'd at least support me because I've been to hell and back, but this isn't that now. I'm in a better place and they don't like to see me happy, but I also kind of feel selfish since they aren't. Am I the asshole? Definitely asshole. There's a million places you can have your wedding.

And I understand her thought process of like, I'm honoring, but I think if that's the way that you're thinking right now, then you're still in one of the fucking five stages of grief. You'll be in denial, babe, because that's not the way to honor him. There's so many places to get married. Find a place that has a similar vibe that's somewhere, like you can literally get married anywhere and you're choosing. That's like super fucking weird, and also it doesn't seem like she had any beef with

her first husband. It seemed like they were very in love and he just unfortunately passed away. It's not like he was fucking some other bitch and she was being petty, which also would be so fucked because he's dead. That's really crazy. That's telling me that she's not ready to be married to someone else and there's something something's off. She's fucking unhinged.

She is actually unhinged. Denial. I mean, you could throw- She's delusional. Delusion. Completely. That's my favorite word right now. And like, I think the line too, where she's like, I wish they'd at least support me and

they don't like to see me happy. No, I don't. She said yes. I don't like to see me happy. She literally said yes. She would come to your wedding just not at the place. I'm sorry. Does she want to go see her sons, her dead sons ex-wife, get married to someone else

at the place where she had to go to her dead son's funeral? You think that's maybe going to bring back some, some sad memories of her crying while her dead son gets buried in the fucking ground? Maybe? I don't know. That's just a thought. I probably wouldn't want to go to the place where I buried my son to see his wife marry someone else.

Or at all, I'd probably never want to go to that place. No. Even her. Like, I'm just like, I'm so shocked because even her, like, as you're standing there holding your partner's hands looking at them, you're literally standing in the same place that that casket was. That's the same fucking spot. There's only so many spots that are at the front of the church.

I'm sure the casket was right there. Yeah, that's like, that's like some freaky shit. What do the comments say? Top comment, you're the asshole. Last summer, so it hasn't even been a year? Oh, first of all, you shouldn't even be marrying someone. No. You should know them for like five years before you even marry them.

Well, I guess it's her ex, but regardless still, like, that's, what, it hasn't even been, even many years since the guy died and she's already marrying a new person? Yeah, so weddings in May, so this is, this was posted about a month ago. We're now June. The wedding has for sure happened. So she posted this probably end of April and I like, summer can mean so many things like August is summer. So say it was August, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December,

January, February, March, April, May, 10 months, nine, nine ish, 10 months. Since he died? Since he died. And it's like, there's no chance, like, how long did she wait to start dating this guy? And also, like, they say that and even not, not just for death, but for breakup, any kind of, like, moving on from a relationship, you have to take, like, half the time that you were together to, like, fully, like, get over the person. I'm sure if they were married, they were probably together for a long time.

And he died, which is way harder to go through than a breakup. So she's definitely still in the, in the stages of grief and dealing with that. So this is just, this is absurd. How is the guy not like, are you sure, are you sure you want to do this girl? Like, why was he proposing? Like, what? I know. I just want to know how this all went through down.

He's probably so happy that husband, he's probably, because he's an ex, he's probably sitting waiting. Waiting in the wings. Fucking men. Maybe he caused the accident. That's where my mind goes. I'm like, this is a movie. Did he cause the accident?

Did he cut the brakes? That's fucked. That's fucked up, man. Yeah. Well, and with that too, like, they say you shouldn't make any changes, like, even so simple as, like, moving out of the place or, like, getting rid of things for six months after a loss. Yeah.

That's their minimum, so. So their comment continues, um, hasn't even been a year since he passed and you're already remarrying. So about three months later, you date again, and about three months, you're remarrying, and you know what the most cringy thing is, that you were thinking of marrying someone at that venue on the day of your late husband's funeral, when you should have been thinking about how the love of your life just died. Trashy and selfish behavior.

Agree. Someone else goes, it's actually really common for those who are widowed to remarry quickly due to their vulnerability and desire to escape the grief and pain. Yeah, that's definitely what's happening. Yeah. She's like, she's running away from some shit, so I think she just needs to, like, self-reflect and be like, because then she's going to end up in a relationship with this guy and then she's going to finally, I mean, who knows if maybe she, maybe that would stop her from

ever getting fully, entirely over and getting better. Yeah, processing everything for sure. Damn. That's so fucked up. Okay, let's lighten the mood on the last one. Okay. Am I the asshole for tricking my in-laws into trying my food? This isn't necessarily my proudest moment, but I am tired of being the outcast.

My 32 female husband Pete, 34 male, comes from a family where the women are all bakers. I'm a baker myself and I used to sell out of my house under the state's cottage laws, but stopped because I like it just as a hobby. His sister-in-law, Kay, 39, is the one who is known for her cupcakes and cake pops. When I first met everyone years ago, it was the first thing I learned. Everyone talked about everything she made. Even when Pete mentioned how good my stuff was, everyone would say that Kay sells hers and they're popular, so they must be better.

Whenever I bring treats, they are often left untouched because, quote, they are not Kay's. Yes, I have been told that. They ask me to bring something every get-together and then never touch it. To be clear, Kay is mainly a baker, whereas I bake and specialize in professionally decorated cakes. Kay says that overly decorated cakes are compensating for their bad taste. She's obviously never seen it as a cake. Anyway, continue. Oh, yeah, that's the best you ever.

Fucking Birkenbag. And Pete's family agrees with her. We had a barbecue Monday for Memorial Day and everyone made their treats. Kay decided to bring cake pops. She posted them on her Instagram the night before. So I know this is immature, but I made the exact same ones she did. Same flavor and design. We got there and everyone asked where my treats were.

I said they're in the car and I'll get them in a minute. So I waited for everyone to be outside, then I brought mine in and put them next to Kay's. After we eat, I noticed the family eating my cake pops and not Kay's. She didn't notice at first and then asked if they weren't feeling cake pops. They said they just ate them and they were the best she's ever made and asked what she did different. Mother-in-law even said they looked so much better in person than the picture. Kay was confused and said hers were still on the table.

That's when I said, quote, oh, I brought those glad you enjoyed them. Her husband said he hadn't had one yet, lies he ate two. And everyone else just said, quote, yeah, they were okay. Kay didn't say anything the rest of the night. Pete, my husband thought it was funny. He didn't know what I did until the reveal. But his brother Kay's husband said yesterday that what I did was mean and I'm just mad that Kay is a better baker.

But Pete said it's ridiculous. It's not even his sister. It's his sister-in-law. It's her husband's brother's wife. Oh, this is just some petty shit. But Pete said it's ridiculous. The family, including Kay, puts down my baking when they won't even try it all because I'm not Kay.

So am I the asshole? No, I think she's fired for that. I love this. I love the family, dude. I love this. Families that are mean to, especially to, again, I'm always going to be here defending women. I mean, like, if in-laws are already, that's already so hard to deal with, like, and comparing

her to, like, the brother's wife, like, maybe they were married first, and then they all were like, oh, yeah, we love her, and then no one will ever compare. It's like, that's just so petty and annoying and gross, and it just makes you feel so weird about your own relationship. Like, I just think that that's stuff like that is just so pointless to me. Like, why don't you just eat the fucking cake? Pop and enjoy it, and they're both good. Wow.

What was that, really hard? It's a tie. They're both really good. Thank you, guys. You're both awesome. How hard was that? That was so hard. Well, the fact they all went back on it, too.

They're like, oh, yeah, they were all right. When they had just said, okay, they were the best you've ever made, it's like, what do you have against OP? Has OP just been, like, super shitty, and that's why she's on the outskirts of, like, this family, or are they truly just psychotic? I think they are probably just fucking weird. There has to be some weird dynamic of, like, maybe, like, Kay's super insecure, and, like, the brother was like, you guys need to love her bacon.

You need to really hype her up, and, like, maybe there's, like, some weird thing going on there, like, with that. I can't see it. Or the parents are, like, narcissists, and, like, typically when there's a narcissistic family, there's, like, a golden child, and then the scapegoat. So maybe, like... The other one's the golden child. Yeah.

The golden child. They love Kay because it's the golden child's wife, and they just do it on her. Yeah. That would make sense, too. Yeah. Shitty. By the way, not the asshole. No.

Not the asshole, girl. There are some edits. We aren't the only two who bring desserts, just the ones who tend to bake cake more than others. Everyone else's desserts get eaten to some degree, except mine. If it's not clear, everyone includes Kay. She has often tried to teach me techniques that I either already know or were completely wrong.

So she wasn't, like, an innocent that got caught in the line of fire or something. Yeah, this family sucks. I think that's, like, the biggest thing, too, where meet your in-laws as early as you fucking can. Yeah. Because... That's your family now, and you're stuck with them. Yeah.

Dude, it's so funny. I saw this truck when I was actually driving here. I saw this truck, and it was, like, something, like... It was some business, and it said, like, family-owned American operator or something like that. Yeah. What's the business? It's family-owned. Doesn't mean it's good.

Like, your family could fucking suck ass. Like, how do I know your family's cool? Your family probably sucks. It's the first one. I don't know why that's what I thought when I saw the truck. It said family-owned. I was, like, yeah, well, your family probably sucks, so fuck you. I must have been really angry about something.

I was, like, yeah. But anyway. You know the opposite reaction of what they were, like, trying to go for on that ad? I was, like, why is that, like, something that people brag about all the time? Like, yeah, it's cool if it's, like, a little mom-and-pop store, but if it's, like, a big giant corporation and it's family-owned, like, family probably sucks. The first one could have been good, but, like, down the line, they just inherited, they inherited success.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, top comment on this one, 28,000 upvotes, not the asshole, and Pete's family is full of assholes. Someone else goes, and liars. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And next one, right? Why do they go to such effort to make OP always feel like an outsider and inferior?

They even tell her why won't taste her cakes because she is not K, which is, that's weird. Why ask someone to bring desserts if you're not even going to try shit? Yeah, that's so weird. They're like, where are your desserts? We're not going to eat them, but, ugh. I can't even imagine. Thank you so much for coming on today. Never getting married.

No, I know. Or if you do, just good prenup. Good prenups. Oh, yeah. I mean, I definitely believe in prenups. Good prenups. I love prenups. I used to be so against them, but now I'm like, prenups are dope, and you don't have to deal

as much with the divorce. Yeah. I know I'm going to get to worse. If I get married, I'm going to get to worse. I know me. I'm just like my mom when it comes to dating. I always ask her how many guys she thinks she's dated, and she's like, honey, I couldn't even give you a ballpark number.

I have literally no idea. I love that. I did like hundreds, maybe thousands. Oh my God. It's going to be me, mom. You're not going to use your own podcast talking about all her. Yeah, she really does. But she refuses to talk about anything.

She's like, goodness, I won't talk about that. But no, I'm definitely going to be a divorcee. I want to be a young divorcee. I'm going to be like 30. Well, that's the thing. So maybe, I know you're 22. Maybe you honestly shouldn't wait until you're 28, because I see so many people that are like, I wish I would have been divorced by 26 already, because then you're like, you're

ready for the next one, and you like have this experience. Young divorcee also is fire, and if we get a prenup, so that's easy, just quick split look on the next one. That's a quick husband. I'm already too late. God damn it, Justin. Where can people find you? Everywhere.

Everywhere. At my house. I'm just kidding. Don't come to my house. I got robbed a week ago. What? Yeah. I'm just starting to get my jewelry back, like buying stuff.

Anyway, no, it's fine. I'm totally chill. They broke my glass and broke into my house, but I got a new security system, so everything's fine. So don't go to my house. You can find me on Instagram. Where can we find you? You can find me on Instagram at Olivia O'Brien, Twitter at Olivia Geo O'Brien.

My Twitter is, it's very interesting. Your TikToks are fire. Thank you. That's also Olivia Geo O'Brien, I believe. Okay. Spotify too. Go stream shit. Just Olivia O'Brien, O-B-R-I-E-N.

A lot of people spell it with an A, but I spell it with an E. Really interesting. Okay. Yeah. I love it. Well, thank you. Yeah, thanks for having me. Until next time, guys.

Bye. Bye. Got to walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer practice, then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy.

So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the option to communicate when and how you want, by chat, phone, or video call. Go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month.

That's BetterHELP.com. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes.

We did it, so can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC.