Two Hot Takes - 72: Maddening.. or Are We Sensitive?

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Justin and Alejandra! This episode features a assortment or stories that left me infuriated after I read them.. BUT we shall see what y'all thin...k. First story starts at the 6:17 mark. Partners: Babbel: Babbel.com/THT Apostrophe: Apostrophe.com/THT Cerebral: Cerebral.com/THT Warby Parker: WarbyParker.com/THT Function of Beauty: FunctionofBeauty.com/THT Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Bonus stories & Get your own "What's in the Box?!" at https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Hi, guys. We forgot to introduce ourselves at the beginning yet again. So here's an awkward cut of us saying hi.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Justin. And I'm Alejandra. Let's go. Bitch! You guys ready? Yeah. Born. I just... No, it's because I...
Starting point is 00:01:24 Yeah. Just fucking... No, I'm just ghosting already. I saw that. I literally was like... Yeah. Because I realized... Like a fucking Stepford wife down there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:38 I realized I was like, fuck, it's too late to ask for straws and our teeth might turn red or purple. Oh, it is a little too late. I know. It's okay. That's why I was like... I know. That's why I was like, yeah. I guess. Yeah. How does it feel to be sitting at the table
Starting point is 00:01:54 for the first time ever? For real though. Yeah, so good. It weirdly feels natural, but that's because we're, you know, we're homies. It does feel like we've done this before. Yeah. But that's probably because we just have
Starting point is 00:02:02 so many conversations like this. Yeah. And we're on stage. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We have done a couple live shows together now
Starting point is 00:02:11 where it's been all of us. Yes. Yeah. I was told this is about maddening, so I'm prepared in every sense with every liquid. Yeah. I mean...
Starting point is 00:02:21 Wow. That is a poison. Tequila for the hard ones, wine for the normal, and then water to recover when I lose so much from crying. Okay. To replenish the tear.
Starting point is 00:02:32 To hydrate myself. I don't think you've cried on this show yet, but I wish you would. Ooh. I've been close though. You've seen me get close. What one? The dog one?
Starting point is 00:02:42 Probably the dog one. There's a lot of them, but then it's like, especially the father knows when we just did it. I don't know. And then I just have to be like, blinking, blinking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Well, this... Yeah. As you said, the theme is like, maddening slash... Are they maddening or are we sensitive? Kind of vibes.
Starting point is 00:03:05 So, I felt like though a lot of these were maddening, I think the fam might agree. Maybe not. We'll see to each their own. But there's been a lot of maddening news the past two weeks. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:17 That is for certain. There's a lot I want to share. I do, you know, I get our listeners are very diverse and we each have our own thoughts, like we're our own people. But I will just say, I think for,
Starting point is 00:03:36 at least for myself here, I'm very pro-choiced despite my mom almost having an abortion with me. And I just think that everyone should be able to control their own body. And I will say, if you do stand on the other side, please take a look at some of the news
Starting point is 00:03:51 that's coming out about women already having up-topic pregnancies and needing emergency surgeries and having to wait hours and hours while their doctor goes to a lawyer. And I know that a lot of, from what I've seen, a lot of women who are on the pro-life side
Starting point is 00:04:09 recognize, hey, there's circumstances where an up-topic pregnancy and the mom's bleeding out, yeah, it's not a viable pregnancy at all. I get that. But unfortunately, the law doesn't discriminate right now. And that's the scary part.
Starting point is 00:04:24 So unfortunately, it's not even Roe v. Wade, that's the thing. It's like now all of this other stuff is coming up. Roe v. Wade was precedent for gay marriage. Exactly. And even contraceptive. Privacy between your doctor
Starting point is 00:04:38 and getting birth control. Walking that back is very scary for what's to come. And a lot of people don't recognize that. I don't think some people even realize, like abortion is used so broadly for a lot of medical procedures. Like my mom had an up-topic pregnancy
Starting point is 00:04:53 and didn't even realize that she had an abortion. She goes, no, what? No, I had just an up-topic pregnancy. And I go, but you had an abortion too. And my mom is so pro-life. My mom is really, really pro-life. And it's just, I think there's so much misunderstanding around this.
Starting point is 00:05:07 And then the media and all these fake stories slam down our throat. It's about nine month babies getting aborted. And it's like, no, those are, those are people that wanted that baby. I'll share some of the resources I've been seeing. I think we should all just be very open-minded. And this is, I get it.
Starting point is 00:05:24 It's a really trigger, trigger topic. To Canada. Yeah. Wait. I did have a Canadian on today that I recorded with. And I did like the accent. I mean, I'm down. I know somebody who's,
Starting point is 00:05:41 he's a lawyer here and he's Canadian. And his like paperwork is like, I just went through or something to become full citizen here. And he was like, on second thought, deport me in light of recent events. I'd actually like to reverse this. I know. And I get there's going to be a lot of you that are probably
Starting point is 00:05:59 disappointed in me for this conversation, but I'm just asking for open-mindedness and to do a little research on the other side. Okay. Let's get into these stories. Cause they're going to be just that maddening. Yeah. Priming the pump.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Piss the people off. I was just going to say good luck with that. Let's dive in guys. Let's dive in. Up first is actually a phone one. I love Costco. I think it's one of my favorite places. And I'll say what I'm going to say after this.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Oh yeah. All right. Cool. My 23 male girlfriend, 26 female got into a confrontation at Costco. I left the store to not escalate the situation. She's accusing me of running away when she needed me. Two days ago,
Starting point is 00:07:17 my girlfriend and I went to Costco. A guy blatantly cut in front of us in the checkout line that we had already been waiting for almost 20 minutes. My girlfriend spoke up and told him that we were already waiting and the end of the line was way back there. He said, we didn't move our cart forward fast enough. And that meant we had left the door open for him to jump in.
Starting point is 00:07:40 She said that was crap and to move his stuff. He had two huge carts literally filled to the brim. He said, what are you going to do about it bitch? I didn't want to escalate the situation. So I basically just walked away and out of the store. I felt like it was so much better because you just don't know what people are going to do these days.
Starting point is 00:08:02 I figured my girlfriend would leave as well, but I waited in the car for a good 30 minutes before I heard anything. Finally, she came out with all of our stuff. I asked her how it went. She said paraphrasing here. Not only are you a fucking coward, literally everyone in that line laughed at you about how you left me high and dry. I tried to explain to her about not wanting to escalate.
Starting point is 00:08:26 And she said that no partner in the world, let alone woman wants their partner to turn tail and run. I tried to explain to her again my thought process. And she said, if I said one more word, she was going to break up with me. I dropped her off at her house with her stuff. And I haven't heard one word from her despite texting and calling her a few times. What is going on here?
Starting point is 00:08:50 What can I do about this? How do I make her understand my point? I just exchanging looks. I think we're on the same team here, but I'll let you know. You're the guest. I feel like you really wanted to get it out. No, I got a shit grin on my face. I'm just like, it's a little upsetting to me.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Okay, I'll start. A little. I'll start. I've got thoughts. Let's hear them. So I feel like that was lame. I don't know how else to say that more eloquently. That was a lame move.
Starting point is 00:09:25 That was whack. And gender rolls aside. I just don't think that was cool. I'm picturing myself in that situation with a girlfriend. And I would never just dip out after they called my friend, girlfriend, whoever they are a bitch, and then be like, see you later and then go into the car. And first of all, if 30 minutes go by, I'd be like, is she okay?
Starting point is 00:09:45 Did he attack her? What about five minutes? Has she been restrained? Yeah. How about getting like five steps outside the store and realizing she's not next to you? Exactly. I understand going, maybe taking a breather, a little smoke break,
Starting point is 00:09:56 two minutes, five minutes, whatever you need. And then being like, okay, I've reset my state. Let me go back in there. Now that I've cooled off, maybe they cooled off. 30 minutes, sir. You need to go do a wellness check one and then two. That's just that to me, I would feel if I were the girlfriend in the situation, I would feel offended.
Starting point is 00:10:17 And I would feel like, honestly, you left me out there high and dry to send for myself when I'm, you know, like someone just called me a bitch. It's disrespectful. Yeah. Yeah. There shouldn't even need to be a wellness check, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Like you shouldn't ever be in a position where you leave someone in that situation. Like I could, I could never leave you in that situation. 30 minutes later. And he's like, you don't know what's going to happen. You don't know what people are going to do. So I got myself out of there. So you leave her there?
Starting point is 00:10:45 Right. Exactly. So now. So who do you care about? Yeah. So you, yeah, you literally left her there when you're scared about other people and he, he just cut you in line with two carts full of shit, cut you and everyone else behind you
Starting point is 00:10:55 and then called your girlfriend a bitch. This guy's playing a bad game. Like you don't, the idea is you don't know who you're going to jump in line in front of sometimes. Yeah. Oh, the other guy? Just to be that bold to even. He's a, the cart jumper?
Starting point is 00:11:11 You know, you know he's got a nut loose. Super disrespectful, super out of pocket. I think it was, it was the bitch for me. It was the name calling for me. What are you going to do about it, bitch? I wouldn't even believe it. I would just be standing there like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:26 And I'm a, I'm a very much pick your battles type of person. So if I were in that situation, I honestly don't know what I would do, but I would be very disappointed if my boyfriend just left. I think this is breakup worthy for me. It's very take a step back and look at how you handle confrontation. Well, this is like a real deal situation.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Totally. This is like called a test. It's not even a test, but I guess it, it's a predictor. Yeah. It reveals a lot more than just, oh, we got cut in line in the, in the Costco line. Yeah. But.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Yeah. I just think like, and it's like you were, he was trying to avoid confrontation. You didn't necessarily have to fight that guy. You could have just like held your girlfriend's hand and be like, Hey, you know what? He's not worth it. Let's chill.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Let's go pick another line, but to leave someone in that situation is so, so bad. Yeah. You can even go, you can even pull a Karen and be like, I'm going to go find a manager. I'm going to find a manager. I'm going to find a manager. I feel harassed by this customer.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Yeah. This customer has made me feel unsafe. Oh, and he for sure, he for sure would have. Oh my God. Where did I do this? It was me. I'm like, why does this sound so familiar? And I was going to ask you, can you name a time when I've
Starting point is 00:12:36 fought someone in public? No, but like, I remember something in line though. What? Tell it. Like in target. I, okay. I want to hear target cause I have it everyone in my head. I think I fight people.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Um, little. Yeah. Maybe. I don't think you fight people. You don't stand up for straight up bullshit. I speak up for injustice. Well, this is like straight up bullshit. This is the most rude you could be.
Starting point is 00:13:01 She doesn't stand up for bullshit. I don't stand for bullshit. Yeah. Did I do that again? I don't know what you did. I don't remember. Something didn't connect there. Oh God.
Starting point is 00:13:10 You're like, she doesn't stand up for bullshit. COVID hurt Justin's brain. I say sayings like backwards now. So I like look at Morgan. It's like me. Yeah. Both of you are hilarious. You and your sayings, you can't get them right.
Starting point is 00:13:23 I can't. Today you told somebody to get their, um, what you said, you told somebody that you're on the phone with just now to get their eggs in a row. It's ducks. Oh God. Why, why are we getting our eggs in a row? I wasn't even for the show.
Starting point is 00:13:35 I know. I was like, do I call her out or two? Get your eggs in a row. I kind of like the eggs though cause they do go in a row. But ducks, you know, when they cross streets. Yeah. But yes, you do not, you do not tolerate bullshit. What was target?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Target was at the beginning of COVID and, um, people were getting too close in line and you would turn around and say, can you take a step back? That's the COVID police. You not be so close. That's the COVID police. Did you whip out your like ruling measuring thing? But they were like breathing on me and like I was,
Starting point is 00:14:06 I was very scared of COVID. It was at that time where it was like, we didn't know what was going on. Right at the beginning. But so the time I was thinking of was recently at Coachella where we were in line for this bar and like the lines there were so long just to get a drink at the music festival. And so I think I had lost my phone.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I had just got not lost. I was pickpocketed. And so I had just gotten my phone pickpocketed and I was not in a mood. And we're waiting in line for forever and we're next up. And right as we're about to be next, this girl comes in and cuts with her and two guys. You remember this? And then the one guy behind me was like, hey, the lines back there.
Starting point is 00:14:45 And she just kind of looked and smiled and then looked back around. And I was going to let it go until I heard her order like eight drinks. Oh, I do remember this. And I literally go to the bartender. I go, are you serious? You're going to cut and then order eight drinks. And I look at the bartender. I go, she literally just cut all of us.
Starting point is 00:15:04 And like, she's like, no, I didn't. And I'm like, yes, you did. And the bartender goes, what can I get you? And I'm like, yeah, that's actually pretty reminiscent of the story. There wasn't the direct like fuck you kind of thing. But yeah, you, that's exactly how you would have handled this. I was scared after though that they were going to find me and fight me. I was scared.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I thought they were going to pour drinks on you. But then again, when you spend that much on drinks at Coachella, who's going to pour those out? I was scared. Oh yeah, I wouldn't waste that resource. I just get so like spunky in the moment. And then after I'm like, you don't take this the wrong way. You're like the big bark little bite.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Yeah. Like you'll verbally maybe go for it. But if someone had to like tussle. I think I would still deck them though. Would you? I don't want to, but I would. If they came at me, I would fucking take their knees out. I'd love to see that.
Starting point is 00:15:57 I think I'm going to go to Taekwondo with Justin. We're just going to be able to level people. Do it. Not self-defense. Self-defense. Yeah, cut us in line at Costco. Just see what happens. Morgan does like a 360 kick.
Starting point is 00:16:10 A round kick. A round kick. No, I want to do the crane move from Mr. Miyagi. You're doing a club dance right now. This is my club dance. Yeah. You like trick them with a club dance into a kick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:23 So you like hop on one leg and then like with the other. There you go. It's a cool move. Top comment on this one though. Yeah, you made a really bad decision and she's right. You abandoned her. It's okay if you didn't want to escalate the situation, but you left her in the situation.
Starting point is 00:16:37 That is what makes it cowardly. You need to apologize to her, acknowledge you fucked up. And if anything like that happens again, don't turn your back on her. At the very least, leave with her. Absolutely. Yeah. 100%.
Starting point is 00:16:53 I don't think there's anything else to say about it. No. We are all siding with the girlfriend in this situation. Yeah, I think that's fair. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meet things from 10 to three, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog. When everyone else is relying on you,
Starting point is 00:17:13 it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com. This one is, this next one, is from True Off My Chest.
Starting point is 00:17:38 So I recently did a bonus episode on our Patreon that's entirely this theme, True Off My Chest. And while I was looking, I found this story. Okay. My husband has a second family. The ultimate cliche has happened in my life, and I'm absolutely broken. My husband, My Rock, has been having an affair
Starting point is 00:18:01 for over 17 years. We've been married for over 25 years. We have three beautiful children, two in college and one who still lives at home. But turns out, he's had another set this whole time. My husband is an insurance broker, and he has multiple branches over the country, which he spends week on, week off.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Turns out, on his week off, he's been with his other family in Albuquerque, where his other branch is. He's got a fiancé, whom he has two kids with, both in their early teens. I found out when I went to make a new Facebook account, and when I searched my husband's first name, another profile with another last name popped up.
Starting point is 00:18:41 And through that profile were the links to his fiancé and his other kids' Facebook. My husband is currently with said family, and I know it's him because his most recent post is a photo of him and that other family eating dinner. Among those photos were photos of him kissing the girl and him being fatherly with the kids who look nearly identical to my husband.
Starting point is 00:19:04 I am already broken. Almost every part of me wants to scream in his face and reprimand him for ruining my life. But another part of me wants to pretend to be ignorant and let it be because our life is peaceful. He's good with our kids. He's the main source of financial income. He's loving, but he's also all those things to another family.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Not only would I be tearing a gaping hole in my family, I'd be opening a vortex for them too. My heart is in shambles. I've never cried so much in my life. My youngest son is currently on a graduation trip with friends, and I'm alone till my lying, cheating bastard husband comes home. My life is absolutely wrecked. It's literally a movie plot.
Starting point is 00:19:48 I'm hoping he'll just come home and it'll be a big misunderstanding why he's kissing a woman with a ring on her finger. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tempted to pack a bag and just leave. I can't be in the home where we've raised our kids, where we've spent every Christmas for the last 26 years, and where I've been alone on New Years,
Starting point is 00:20:06 taking care of our babies while he works his ass off. I just can't. I want to leave a note for him to come home to, hurt him like he's hurt me, but I don't think that's possible. I don't know how I'll ever face him again. Oh my gosh. I can't imagine being in that situation
Starting point is 00:20:26 and having the power of your emotions to say, I wish I could just put it and have him come back. You instantly start putting others in front of you. When I think when you learn something like this, wouldn't you naturally speak instantly? I don't know how she has such restraint. Right. I can't get past the part where she's like,
Starting point is 00:20:48 I want to look the other way. That part, I just couldn't. After that, everything kind of became moot to me for some reason because I was like, the fact that she's even considering that is very sad. It's so selfless though. So that's where I was going with this is like, I feel like this is fully her being a mother
Starting point is 00:21:04 and thinking that this is what she needs to do for her family and her children. Yeah. It's just at what? What's the threshold? Yes. What's the threshold of that? It's so hard to speak on it because obviously we can say we would do this, this and that,
Starting point is 00:21:20 but when you're in that position, it's so different and what she's feeling is probably unimaginable. That's so tough. Honestly, it's 2022. How are people getting away with this anymore? I don't know. It's sad, but you have to be smart to pull it off.
Starting point is 00:21:40 This man is out here. Perfect setup. He has the perfect setup with his business where he's one week on at this place and then I got to travel to this other branch and take care of things. It's like the perfect excuse on both sides where it checks out.
Starting point is 00:21:56 That's one thing, but when you are consistently switching, like you're literally changing worlds, right? Yeah, you're code switching almost between your family. To not slip, you have to literally flip your mind into this world's mode and just fully... Yeah, but you're not a character.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Nobody is, because he's playing both of these people. You just can't mix. You can't say, oh, how was soccer? And then you're like... You will play polo, that's right. Yeah, so it's just like... It's unfortunate that
Starting point is 00:22:28 you have to have some... He's got to be smart on some level. We don't know. What's our age? No age was mentioned. They've been married for 25 years, so you assume... We assume she's in her 50s maybe, 40, 50s.
Starting point is 00:22:44 There could be slips, but when you're not even thinking like that, it may just be going over her head. She could have been slipping up for a while and now she's maybe reflecting and going, that's right. He kept getting this wrong. He kept getting these dates wrong. He kept getting the name wrong.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Or he literally picked the same anniversary when he proposed for the other one, the same. You can't get married to this other woman because he's already married. Maybe a week apart. I'm sorry, because how would you be with both? How deranged?
Starting point is 00:23:18 And that's a lot of work. I don't even want to entertain dating right now. I couldn't imagine dating multiple people as it stands, as a 28-year-old with no dependence. I cannot imagine being 40, 50 however old he is.
Starting point is 00:23:34 And just choosing to entertain two different lives. It's a lot of work. Cater to two different personalities, two different women. Especially this long, 17 years he's had this affair. Is he mad?
Starting point is 00:23:50 I don't understand. You've got to have some little craziness to you. You've got to. Who chooses that? Well, because you've got to think, okay, let's say, how did we get here, right? Maybe it started with an affair while you're away on work.
Starting point is 00:24:06 But the difference is, yes, we accidentally got pregnant and had a kid. The difference is you have two kids. So this is very... It's not like one lie snowball effect into this crazy outcome. This is very deliberate.
Starting point is 00:24:22 It's intentional. He put a ring on it. Uh-oh. There's an update? There's an update now. Oh my gosh. I knew we needed more. I left off when I saved this at just that. I don't know how I'll ever face him again. Straight away.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Get into it. You don't want the top comment first? No, no, no. Does the top comment come before or after that update? I don't know because I don't know what the update says. Just give us the update. Yeah, better to not spoil anything. This is a follow-up. Firstly, thank you so much for the advice.
Starting point is 00:24:54 I'm not in any means good with legal things. So all legal advice has been noted. As an attorney, we are discussing the process. He's also told me to gather as much evidence as I could, such as photos of the Facebook pages, text messages, and recent flight info. All has been put into a folder
Starting point is 00:25:10 and I'll present it to a judge or jury when we go into some sort of divorce proceedings. Again, not fully clear with specifics, but it's a good sign. I've also been in contact with the other woman. I've told her, explained the situation,
Starting point is 00:25:26 and she was equally as distraught. From what I'm aware, she's financially independent from him and they don't share property, so it seems very clean cut on her behalf. My husband is aware of the fact I know and is currently staying in a hotel, but he is unaware the other woman knows.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I confronted him when he walked through the door. He started to cry and plead and it was honestly kind of pathetic. I mean, I was crying too, but I've chosen to think of him as a pathetic coward for doing this. Because he is. But anyways, I have my name on the property.
Starting point is 00:25:58 We both do. So it's not like I can just kick him out. But he's chosen to stay away for my sake. All I am thinking is if he choose to stay away for my sake, maybe being faithful for my sake should have been considered too.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Despite this, he's staying away. He's in a hotel downtown where he calls every few hours to check up. I'm no longer sad. Well, I am. But I'm way more furious than sad currently. My kids still have no idea and my youngest thinks my husband
Starting point is 00:26:30 is just working more in Albuquerque because of business. I'm still confused at how to tell them they have two half siblings and two parents. One with an extra backup parent. I'm just feeling very, very unappreciated and unwanted lately.
Starting point is 00:26:46 But your kind words have been so helpful. Thank you guys so much. Much love. I'm so glad she told the other woman. And she's going the divorce route, which is good. Or at least it sounds that way. Yeah, because I mean she kind of went from I don't
Starting point is 00:27:02 want to rip a vortex in their life too. And like I have read other stories where there was a woman who it's so hard when you record episodes ahead of time and then they come up before the other ones. But there's a story where someone was like they knew their husband was actively cheated on them
Starting point is 00:27:18 and they were content with it. They live a secure life. They want for nothing. They love their husband. Sex is great. He gets tested regularly. What? All is good. How do you know? How do they know? That's that was the story. Does he like send it in like a like a weekly homework assignment, like
Starting point is 00:27:34 SDD check? I don't know, but they have a worked out where it works for them. So it's like an arrangement. Yeah, but like he doesn't she's she confronted him once but hasn't since. She just knows he does it because every time he goes on a trip, he'll like bring her presence. What? It's it comes out soon.
Starting point is 00:27:50 It comes out soon, but it's presence. Yeah, I'm traumatized now. Next person I date, they're going to bring me gifts. I'm going to be like, what do you do? How does that correlate? Oh, just because it's like over the top. Yeah, like over the top gifts. Yeah, so man. Yeah, I mean, it sounds
Starting point is 00:28:06 like everything's going to work out, but like I think that's what's so scary about being a woman in a heterosexual relationship. Like you obviously like if I cheated on you and got pregnant, you would know I couldn't hide it.
Starting point is 00:28:22 I don't think we could even hide cheating really because we're it's not like either of us have that work trip thing or I need to work late tonight or whatever. No, Justin, it's easy to do these days. You wouldn't believe the things people
Starting point is 00:28:38 I'm getting a massage by my foot quick. I'm going to record my phones on Do Not Disturb. You're literally in music. You go on a tour. There's your ample opportunity. We both punched Justin. Did we both punched you? But like in our
Starting point is 00:28:54 current frame of reference right now, it's like I go to the studio and then come back here and work and like trust me, little Jim Sash went a little long. I'm not trying to put ideas in your head right now. I'm not. No, no. And I understand what you're saying, but
Starting point is 00:29:10 trust me when I tell you when there's a will, there's a way. Sounds like you know too well what's happening. What? I've talked about my cheating experiences. We've both been through it. Oh, I've seen it all. What? I've been cheated on in every single cast.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Oh, no, I thought you said you did. No, I said we've been through it. No, no, I'm not talking about like I was over here crafting away. These like, no, no, no, I meant like I've been on, I've been wronged. Well, I guess someone hurt me as you can tell right through
Starting point is 00:29:42 all these stories. It shouldn't be surprising. Yeah, but I guess what I'm saying is people can get very creative. Also, I don't want to blame her at all because she's obviously being wronged. Yeah, we don't know how head in the cloud she's
Starting point is 00:29:58 been like maybe she's not really the most aware or the, you know, we just don't know how present she is on the day to day to where she's like really tracking everything he does. Maybe she just. And she hasn't had a reason. And she shouldn't have to. No, and she's had no inkling like they've been married for
Starting point is 00:30:14 25 years and the affair was 17 years. So maybe he did start off the other branch as truly week on week off. Right. And then after years in that city being week on week off he got lonely and he found how easy it was to have a partner there.
Starting point is 00:30:30 And then it just, it just kept going further and further and further and not excusing his actions by any means because I think it's beyond maddening, it's disgusting, repulsive, everything you want to throw at it. But I mean, it's just crazy
Starting point is 00:30:46 what people can get away with. I mean, I think when you can have full trust, I think that is the beautiful part of a great relationship is you can be so like not on the lookout. You can be so just comfortable and happy
Starting point is 00:31:02 in your life. Oh my gosh. And what also is interesting about this is the closer you get to someone, I guess the more you would know how to hide something from them. Absolutely because you know their weak points and you know what they think about, what they don't.
Starting point is 00:31:18 But then the flip side of that is they also know you better than anyone else so they'll know if one little details off. But you have to be a little twisted to balance this for so many years. I personally would he's probably taking years off his life just
Starting point is 00:31:34 the anxiety of like code switching between these families. I don't know if that's the right term, but just living this actual double life, it has to be exhausting. There's no way you do that just seamlessly. Think of all the excuses like unplanned excuses like
Starting point is 00:31:50 like an emergency. I need you to get here right now tonight. What are you going to tell the other family? Also, what about like nightly calls? Like if my husband was even working week off, week on like I would be like, okay, we're not talking for the whole week? Like what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:32:06 Don't you want to check in and see how little Timmy soccer game was? He's so good. Yeah, I don't know. Honestly, but I think it's kind of one of those things where he's so good and I will give him like I think about how many names my mom's called me that aren't mine.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Like it's an easy thing to be like hey, John, Justin like what's the boys name? It's so easy to like like brush off quick slips like that. I don't know. If my dad called me anything other than Alejandra
Starting point is 00:32:38 I would be like I'm sorry, what? Is this just me? My mom calls me so many of the wrong names. No, my mom only calls me like my sister's name or like one of her sisters. Like it's always a family member. Oh yeah, or the dog. Yeah, Tatiana like yeah. Do you ever been called the dog's name? Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Not like a random Rachel. I mean who the hell is Rachel? What? No. That would sound like so many alarms. Yeah. You have another family. Yeah. Who is it? No, what if he named his kids the same names? Maybe. I need to know more.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Oh wow. Gotta walk the dogs, school drop off meetings from 10 to 3. Take kids to soccer practice then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you
Starting point is 00:33:28 it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same professional service you'd get from
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Starting point is 00:34:00 with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com One last kind of marriagey crazy one. Giving me anxiety. I literally already have such a little faith in monogamy.
Starting point is 00:34:20 This is just... You're bull-approved to this right now. You're single. You're dating. You don't have to worry about anything. No, I'm not dating because of stories like this. This ain't gonna make it better. Okay, well, let's hear it. My 46th female husband,
Starting point is 00:34:36 47 male, is demanding a post-nup. For those that don't know post-nuptial agreements, are those that are come to, signed after you've already been married? Similar to a pre-nup, but post-nup. Never knew. My husband and I have been together for 15 years
Starting point is 00:34:54 and married for eight. We have a six-year-old daughter together. Before getting married, my husband was first a nurse. But he was unhappy in that field. He ended up quitting his job and doing two years of working a lot short-lived odd jobs before deciding to go to vet school.
Starting point is 00:35:10 This was done against all advice from others because of the expense involved. His parents refused to pay. So I ended up co-signing the loan and working to support us both. He got out of school nine years ago. We married when he was struggling
Starting point is 00:35:26 to find a position at a place that paid the average rate for a vet. We moved so he could get a position he was happy with. Since then, he has first earned a high salary and then was liked enough by patrons to help open up a clinic of his own.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Now, he has two locations with employees that work under him. He also has parlayed his previous experience in nursing and business to consult on the side for businesses such as nursing homes, hospice, substance abuse treatment facilities. We had a bump
Starting point is 00:35:58 in the third year of marriage because he didn't want me to work anymore. He made me feel like my salary no longer meant anything. I ended up quitting because of my mom guilt. I'm currently looking at online college options since I only have an associate degree.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Recently, he's been very distant. I just have that intuitive pit in my stomach when he would travel for a consulting project and not answer my texts or call me when promised. Or, him sounded like he was whispering when he did call me.
Starting point is 00:36:30 There's an intern he hired two years ago whose mother was bold enough to come up to me at a party and say that my husband really adores her daughter and she has hearts in her eyes with him. I keep thinking
Starting point is 00:36:46 no way because she is 25 years his junior and has a boyfriend, but she treats me with open disrespect and my husband doesn't care that I'm hurt by it. He's always on his phone ignoring me when I speak. The intern was out of the picture
Starting point is 00:37:02 for a while, but now I saw her name pop up on his phone several times. At an event, my husband pushed past our daughter to speak to her. I don't think I'm a jealous person normally. I don't begrudge my husband finding other women attractive
Starting point is 00:37:18 even if he doesn't hide it from me, but I want warmth from my husband and I don't want him to act on these feelings of attraction to other women. We had a fight about me refusing to get a tummy tuck and then he caught me looking at credit card statements and flipped out leaving the house.
Starting point is 00:37:34 He came back calmer and said that he's sorry if he's intense. Most people in his field are. He also said that a lot of the business world he's a part of is something I'll never understand. He said he has employees to think about and asked me to sign
Starting point is 00:37:50 a post-nup. He said that it shouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't, if I wasn't with him for the money. I was shocked and asked him how long he's had this on his mind. He said that it's been on it for a while, but he got pretty angry
Starting point is 00:38:06 when our daughter recently blurted out that she will help animals like dad. He says that he believes I'm teaching our daughter to be entitled and thinking that she'll inherit any of his business or that I was passing on this attitude by trying to subtly meddle in his business.
Starting point is 00:38:22 I asked what the terms of the post-nup were and he showed me a draft. It says that I will get $10,000 a year for every year we are married to be paid out in yearly installments for the length of our marriage. I could also keep any gifts he bought me
Starting point is 00:38:38 during the marriage. I would refinance to buy him out of our heavily mortgaged property, which I won't be able to afford to keep as a result. In addition, the $10,000 a year would be lowered if he ended up having other dependents with a certain amount
Starting point is 00:38:54 for each dependent he ended up paying. I would forfeit any claim to his vet clinics or other side income. I was in shock. I asked rather dryly if he couldn't put it in a compensation for the amount of debt that I took on and paid a huge part
Starting point is 00:39:10 in paying off for him to get his education. I also asked if there could be a mutual infidelity or abandonment clause. He flipped out and said that infidelity clauses annoy judges because then everybody will be
Starting point is 00:39:26 hiding in the bushes to spy on their partners. He said that if I loved him for him, then I'd sign it and understand why I needed to. But if I didn't, then I'm not the same woman he married. What do I do? He always seems to have legal counsel
Starting point is 00:39:42 around him advising him on how to come out on top. And this document essentially gives me less a year than his business can earn in a week. I'm so angry. I couldn't like I was like clenching my fists.
Starting point is 00:40:00 I know, you're like our mad author. I'm so of author-fisting over here. Everything, it just kept, I didn't think it could get worse. It wasn't. Somehow he would just make it worse. This man is so deranged and manipulative. I understand we're only
Starting point is 00:40:16 hearing her side, of course. I don't know how you can manipulate what the facts of that post-nup are though. What do you mean? Like her stating like $10,000 a year, she could be lying about the intern and all this other shit,
Starting point is 00:40:32 but even if there wasn't a sketchy intern, and it was just this post-nup. First of all, $10,000 a year, I'm sorry, in this economy, second of all, I just, I don't even know where to start, Justin. I'm too mad.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I'm like seeing my... So I'm not sensitive in this one. No, are you kidding me? I'm pretty chill with this kind of stuff, because I feel like I've seen it all. I'm a child of divorce, lots of divorce in my family. Luckily it wasn't on the premise of infidelity or anything like that, but I've no stranger to these terms.
Starting point is 00:41:04 The audacity that this man has. Not even allowing an infidelity clause, also. And then all of a sudden he turned into a lawyer and he was like, they annoy judges. Oh, because you're a lawyer? No, infidelity clauses are
Starting point is 00:41:20 standard in pre-nups and post-nups. And the minute that someone has breached that infidelity clause, that whole pre-nup is null and void. Yeah, that's not unusual. That's not unusual at all. This man, he really said I'm actually also a lawyer
Starting point is 00:41:36 and this really annoys judges. I would know. Like what? This was gas like 101. The thing that has me, my spidey sense is tingling. And he said what? The dependence. Oh. In addition to the 10,000 year,
Starting point is 00:41:52 it would be lowered if he ended up having other dependence with a certain amount for each dependent. Basically saying if he has other kids, you're getting none of my money. There's a baby on the way. So sick of that. There is a baby on the way already.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Oh my God. I wouldn't be surprised if that intern's little girl is his. I hated that intern situation. First of all, can these men get creative? It's always the intern. Stop. Stop it. Please get more creative in your cheating. Stop.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Don't cheat if you're going to cheat. Get creative because I'm tired of that plot. It is so overdone. We need some new material here guys. We need something new. Spice it up men. Okay. Let's hear from the man. Take it away. I have two things. Okay. First one,
Starting point is 00:42:40 it amazes me how people can get to positions of success and not realize how they got there. She is literally the director reason he is where he is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:56 To the point where he told her to stop working. Forced her. Guilted her. In a way almost to guilt. Well, in a way almost to say, thank you. It was me.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Him making that action is going to be perceived by her as like, you got me here. It should have been. But I don't think it was. I'm saying in a manipulative way.
Starting point is 00:43:28 That is kind of how it's coming across maybe to her or how he thinks she'll see it. Potentially. Stick a pin in that. Regardless I don't know. I lost it. No, I want you to finish your thought. I didn't want to cut you off.
Starting point is 00:43:44 No, you got it. Two. That doesn't help. She's like, let it come back to you. So with you saying that though, one, they both started from the bottom. She had an associate's degree. He was a nurse, went back
Starting point is 00:44:00 to school. They're starting from ground zero together. They didn't have assets, so they didn't have a preenup. They're on equal grounds. So her taking out half of the loan for his student debt, which therefore put him in a position to become a vet
Starting point is 00:44:16 to open up these practices. Her staying home to raise their kid, which was guilted. I think like, she felt that He made her feel that her income was insignificant. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:44:32 That's why I don't necessarily think that he did it in a way where she perceived it as a thank you because she explicitly says that he made her feel like her income was no longer significant. That felt like a power to stay home, sweetie. I run everything. I own this or whatever.
Starting point is 00:44:48 So I postnap. No. Do not sign because either way he's going to divorce you. You'll get more if you divorce. She owns half. Half of everything is hers. And I'm not a judge. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not, but like
Starting point is 00:45:04 they built it from the ground up together. And if you went to court and said, I took out the loan to finance his education. She is rock solid case. And he knows it and that's why he's going for all this. That's the only reason he's pushing this postnap because I wouldn't be surprised if she signs it and he drops
Starting point is 00:45:20 a divorce bomb a week later. Absolutely. He's like Even that, it's like a pre-nup to a divorce almost. He's priming it. Right. And I think even then he's going to have a hard time. But regardless
Starting point is 00:45:36 I think the scariest thing I previously have said my biggest fear would be Morgan having conversation and being just like I am just not feeling anything anymore. Like basically falling out of love. Yeah. I think
Starting point is 00:45:52 equally as scary is Morgan just all of a sudden being someone I completely just like different than I ever knew. Yeah. You're just not even the person I ever thought the person I thought I knew
Starting point is 00:46:08 the best. Yeah. And you're just totally different. Money changes people. Money and success and accolades. Money more problems. Yeah. This is a prime example. I mean he just let the money and prestige now he's like this renowned vet with all these other
Starting point is 00:46:24 incomes and locations he just let that get to his head and he completely forgot where he came from. He completely forgot of who was there for him and helped him elevate to that place. Yeah. Like you just said he somehow got amnesia and forgot that his wife was down there in the trenches with him
Starting point is 00:46:40 fighting to make sure that he's successful and to be where he is today. Somehow he just can disregard that or completely forgot and disassociated from it. And it's disgusting behavior for and if you fall out of love with this person and you want to get divorced do it with some class. Like don't
Starting point is 00:46:56 set the stage to this is quite literally setting her up for failure. Yeah. He is essentially leaving her out high and dry knowing damn well this woman doesn't have the right education to get her a high paying job at this point in her life. She said she can't even really afford the mortgage. It's very expensive. Well and he's
Starting point is 00:47:12 already they've refinanced the mortgage. Right. So basically they took out a secondary loan on their house to pull money from that asset. Right. So I'm sure he used that for what? A second vet clinic. Yeah. Which therefore he then reaps the benefits of all and she's left with the mortgage
Starting point is 00:47:28 on a home. She has such a good case though. But yes and I I hope like the comments the top comment is get yourself a lawyer. Yeah. I was just going to say lawyer up please. You have been together long enough and shared finances throughout
Starting point is 00:47:44 school and created his business. No lawyer is going to let you agree to this but imagine a woman not in her position imagine a woman that didn't reach out to Reddit or a man or anyone in you know the similar position like he is being so manipulative if you love me if you're the woman I married
Starting point is 00:48:00 if you're with me for the right reasons and not money you'll do this. I'm sorry what I literally when we were together you were not rich like when they started out together like you said they came they were at the bottom together and zero. Yeah. Can someone explain to me
Starting point is 00:48:16 why he's also trying to fight his six year old. When did he fight his six year old. So she asked him like how long he's had this on his mind. He said that's been a while but he got pretty angry when our daughter recently blurted out that she will help animals like dad he says that he believes I'm teaching
Starting point is 00:48:32 our daughter to be entitled and thinking she'll inherit any of his business. It's because he's seeing everything through the same lens right now. He's just seeing like it's like an enemy to it's like a rabid dog that's protecting a bone. Yeah. I don't understand how people become
Starting point is 00:48:48 so nasty because there's something larger at stake for him and that might be another family another woman. Right. There's got to be something else that is clouding his ability to see the value of his family. Yeah. Or he's on some crazy
Starting point is 00:49:04 drugs. Yeah. Or this man is yeah he sounds. How do you just become so terrible. He sounds like a sociopath. I mean I hate to just label somebody and I know that that term gets thrown around a lot but he truly sounds like the embodiment of somebody who completely lacks empathy and
Starting point is 00:49:20 you know just can't even have compassion. It's one thing. Right like zero. Zero compassion for his family and his wife. It's like a serial killer. Truly. And also, are we going to gloss over the tummy tuck situation? Oh, I forgot.
Starting point is 00:49:36 It's all it all goes hand in hand. It's all bad. It's literally all bad. Yeah. To like pressure someone into getting a tummy tuck. All bad. Are we surprised though knowing the rest of the story like it just adds it's just fuel on the fire. But honestly, kind of yeah
Starting point is 00:49:52 because the reason that kind of surprises me is everything about this story has led to the we all have kind of guessed this man is he's gearing up to divorce you. He's building his case. Yeah. He's getting ready to leave you. So why would
Starting point is 00:50:08 he put pressure on her to get a medical procedure like an alteration to her appearance if he doesn't really want to invest in her anymore. I'm just curious what the timeline is. Yeah. I was just going to say I wonder how long ago that was. True. If OP is kind of like really laying it all out because the intern stuff like started years ago and like
Starting point is 00:50:24 I don't know why an intern is calling him anyways. It's just this is done like this is done in life. Yeah. And so like the next comment after that one is this just to be clear by quote get yourself a lawyer.
Starting point is 00:50:40 We mean a good divorce lawyer. Yeah. We don't mean she should even consider this post-nup. He's obviously trying to create a fire wall for when he dumps OP. Bingo. And then next comment. There are some elements in this story that could point to
Starting point is 00:50:56 narcissistic behavior. OP is potentially unaware of that. Him being a nurse not liking that changing jobs a lot of times everything is not good enough until he finally has his own clinic. Him using others his then girlfriend's money to get ahead. Him feeling entitled to more than what usual people would find just.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Him weaseling arguments with absurd claims. There could be quite some stuff that OP isn't telling because she hasn't even realized. I hope OP manages to divorce without being fucked over too much and manages to keep the warmth in her life that she seeks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:30 And then someone else there was one that I saw where someone just like this is one comment from someone I wish I should is there anything behind my computer? Okay. This is one comment from someone. So this is the start
Starting point is 00:51:46 of it. Oh yeah. You see the bold just wait. They broke down point by point. His behavior? Everything OP said. Like that's how long it is. Wow. So I'll be sure to put the link on the YouTube.
Starting point is 00:52:02 If I don't remind me, I'll post it. I forget a lot of times. I would do. Put it. I would say here I signed it. Put it in a little like folder thing and then it's divorce papers that you've already signed. Yeah. Half of everything bitch. Cause then it's like
Starting point is 00:52:18 he's like oh my god. Like I got it. I got it then. He opens it up. Yeah. Oh he is you know who he reminds me of? I don't know why like Count Olaf. Did you guys ever read those books? Not really. What? A series of unfortunate events? No. I watched the show
Starting point is 00:52:34 on Netflix a little bit though. Doesn't even compare. No. Doesn't even compare. Count Olaf. Those books were my jam. Count Olaf was so greedy. Count Olaf. You're still mad. I'm still mad. This person has, I don't know. No words. Someone else goes to
Starting point is 00:52:50 the elephant in the room is that it's a post nut. Post nuts don't really exist. That's what I'm going to say. Post nuts? They do. They're a real thing. They're real. Like also why would you sign it? Under what circumstance? Does it make actual sense for both parties? So the only
Starting point is 00:53:06 I've only come across a few actual people that I know who have considered and entertained the idea. Not that many but this is just, these are my personal data points. They've all revolved around the theme of infidelity. Somebody was
Starting point is 00:53:22 cheating and then they're basically like whoa whoa whoa. You're not the person I thought you were and typically one person is out. Like there's a lot of money in line. That's where I've seen it be relevant. So again, I'm sure there's a lot of other reasons why people consider these. Perhaps somebody inherits a lot of wealth
Starting point is 00:53:38 and all of a sudden the playing field isn't the same that it was and you have to protect what's yours. You know, but at the same time, I don't know. We could go down the rabbit hole but it signals something to me. It's signaling behind it. Well, so like one of the things is like post nuts. I'm like, I googled post nuts are mostly about money and protecting
Starting point is 00:53:54 assets in the case of divorce and post nuts may be written when a couple is in crisis or concerned about the state of their union. And so example one, one or both of you are wealthy. So it's to make sure that each spouse exits the union whole. So if you do have a shit ton
Starting point is 00:54:10 of money and you just want a clean divorce, you can have a post nut agreement that literally says we will split everything 50-50 or I will come away with what I had. They will come away with what they had. So if you didn't do the pre-nup to protect stuff that you had, you could say, hey, I just want
Starting point is 00:54:26 to keep my family's house if things ever go south. Can we sign a post nut? Isn't that just like a divorce agreement or is it always... No, it's kind of like do you know when you go to Apple and they offer you like Apple care and you have 14 days to think about it. It's kind of like you don't, you're like, now I'm good, right? But then a month later, your AirPods start acting a little weird and you're like, hmm,
Starting point is 00:54:42 Apple care is sounding really nice right about now because you're starting to kind of, your faith is a little rocky in your product. So that's why it's like, yeah, there's tons of reasons why people might consider one, but why didn't you think of that before the fact? Right, that's what I mean. How is it different than just like a regular
Starting point is 00:54:58 divorce proceeding? It's not a divorce. It's not a divorce. It can withstand the rest of your marriage, whether that's 10 years, 15, 20. So number four on the example list. But when a divorce negate it, what are this? No, all it's saying is we didn't get this agreement pre-wedding. Huh, okay.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Same agreement as a pre-nup, it's just post the marriage. Yeah, so point number four, you hated the idea of a pre-nup, but now you want one. Exactly. So a divorce proceeding would follow the post-nuptial agreement in the same way that a pre-nup is followed. It's a guideline for how to proceed through your divorce.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Right, just a timing element. That's really the major difference. Yeah. Cause you still agree, you still have to come to agreeance on all of that kind of stuff when you get a divorce. You still have to divide assets. Yeah. Yeah. So what is this changing about that? She gives up everything.
Starting point is 00:55:46 I understand in this manipulative weird case, I'm saying as a couple that goes into it and does it for mutual benefit. Yeah, so it's- How would it differ? What's going to change between the time you sign that and a divorce? You know what I mean? It's a game plan for the divorce. Yeah, it's not
Starting point is 00:56:02 like- If and when it happens. Typically like you don't do post-nuptials in times where like it's like this guy where he's clearly got a hidden sneaky agenda in his back pocket. You do this as like a like the other example on number like point number five was like someone got a big
Starting point is 00:56:18 inheritance which inheritance is already separated. It's that's tricky and it's up itself. Yeah. But it's just a guideline. It's like, hey you know, your business is doing really well and I want you to keep all your music. I would never take that from you. So let's have another agreement a post-nuptial where your park wild and your music
Starting point is 00:56:34 is yours. I would never want to interfere with that. So if you didn't, why wouldn't you just go through that in the divorce? Cause people get crazy. It's ensuring. It's security as people get crazy and emotions come out and emotions are heightened and people don't see straight. So do it while you're like- Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:50 I'm sure there's examples of real life people who have had post-nuptial agreements that were just really civil and really thoughtful and they never had to use it kind of like an insurance policy and they were well thought out and like Morgan just said well intentioned but I think that those are probably the minority in comparison to
Starting point is 00:57:06 the ones of crisis. Well, I'm just thinking like with like special properties or something you could have gotten married and be like oh I guess we could have done this pre but let's just agree that you keep this stuff from your family. I'll keep this just in case. That's exactly
Starting point is 00:57:22 how they should be used. Yeah. That's the proper way. They're weaponized. Such as a Prina. The same logic. Yeah. Yeah. I'm shook by this one. I really like there's no comments from OP.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Put an alert for if they post again but I mean it's very similar to the having the other family one. It's like to put it the most simply you just literally are now with someone that you completely do not know
Starting point is 00:57:54 and at the whole situation world you thought you were living in is not real and so. Yeah. Honestly, this one is icier to me than the other one. I don't know. I can't believe I'm saying that. Yeah. I agree. I don't know why and people out there might be like absolutely
Starting point is 00:58:10 just up in arms that I just said that but I don't know why this one seems malicious. It seems diabolical. The other one still so messed up as I just said. But he wasn't trying to hurt either one. Yeah. Like intentionally. Intentionally.
Starting point is 00:58:26 It was bound to happen but he wasn't going out of his way to cut at his partner manipulate his partner, gaslight his partner, abuse his partner. This is financial abuse. This is all kinds of abuse. This is the other one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Again, they're both really bad and who are we to judge a situation that we're not in. Yeah. Yeah. It's really hard to compare. I just mean like you find yourself in a position you never thought you would and now it's like. And you don't know who you're with. Your world's just like
Starting point is 00:58:58 what's reality. Right. Take a deep breath. I'd be curious if you ever come across a story like this where it's the woman who does this. Because I know that, you know, it's not always the man who does this. Yeah. But I'm just curious because you don't hear about those times.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Yeah. I would love to ask a divorce lawyer and I know like gender roles and like whatever. But I would love to ask a divorce lawyer with like 30 years of experience of like who is typically the worst in your divorce stuff. Well I think a lawyer with the 30 years of experience
Starting point is 00:59:30 is likely going to say men because it's just recently that women have started to really have financial independence and we're still, you know, paid less than men on average. But I would say maybe like in the last couple years have you seen
Starting point is 00:59:46 that trend differ. Yeah. As women are stepping into positions of power, becoming CEOs, starting their own companies acquiring financial success on their own, you know. I could see that. Yeah. I definitely think time has
Starting point is 01:00:02 a lot of context to play into that. Gotta walk the dogs school drop off meetings from 10 to 3. Take kids to soccer practice then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week.
Starting point is 01:00:20 When everyone else relies on you it's easy to put your needs last. Therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. BetterHelp offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same
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Starting point is 01:00:52 Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com I need some caffeine. Tequila babe, drink the tequila. It's making me like burp.
Starting point is 01:01:16 What? Turn away from your mic. Then I internalize the burp and they become pound and like become bigger and then it's just like at the end of the show it's just like a burp. Well, you know, if that's what it takes. It's like Morgan when I come over.
Starting point is 01:01:32 What does she do? Oh, holds it all in? Well, we all know that. Cause one time I like forgot something in her room. No way, no way. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no. No way. Yeah, because I don't know what it is. My body just knows
Starting point is 01:01:48 when Justin like leaves in the morning and so like I kind of go back to bed for a little bit. That's wild. And my body just relaxes and like as I'm drifting off to sleep I just hear these farts and he's come back in a couple of times and I have to say, no, no, no, you can't. Do you actually wait it out?
Starting point is 01:02:04 No, I think I like have to get it for you. What? You actually don't let it back in the room. Yeah, cause your boy's got to go, you know. It's like it's in the morning. Wow. Okay. I don't think we can handle any more cheating stuff. I think we're pretty good
Starting point is 01:02:20 on that one. This one's interesting. Am I the asshole for telling my sister she's ridiculous for divorcing her husband over a TikTok prank? My 24 male sister, 32 female was married to a guy, 35
Starting point is 01:02:38 male, for three years until they separated two months ago over a TikTok prank he pulled. Although none of our family cares about social media, I've always thought of her husband as nice, funny man. It's great to be in his company and I therefore think the divorce is
Starting point is 01:02:54 ridiculous over something that was no more than a mistake. To give an account of what happened, my brother-in-law, who is involved in TikTok, pulled a prank on my sister's 15 male son. The prank culminated in my nephew falling
Starting point is 01:03:10 over and banging his head which is why she separated from him. He had to be rushed to the hospital where he underwent treatment and now he has brain damage. He now needs help eating due to impaired motor control has limited speech.
Starting point is 01:03:26 If you ask him something, he'll stare at you until my sister gets on her knees to ask him calmly what he needs. He's easily irritable and when I look at him, all I can see is his 7-year-old self masquerading in a 15-year-old's body.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Now these symptoms are likely permanent and are of course awful but it was a mistake on behalf of the husband. I believe that divorce is way too harsh for a mistake and instead they should have negotiated boundaries and disallowed TikTok in the house
Starting point is 01:03:58 or something. Her husband was the only one who used it. I've tried to keep my dislike of the divorce decisions to myself because I'm secretly mourning the loss of my brother-in-law. We watched football together and everything. However, when discussing the incident with her yesterday
Starting point is 01:04:14 I told her that she was absolutely ridiculous for divorcing her husband over something that is essentially a mistake and that she should reconsider her options considering the first one was clearly emotionally driven. My sister told me that I'm free to marry him
Starting point is 01:04:30 and my mother also interjected and despite liking my brother-in-law before told me that I have no say in my sister's life and told me that my precious brother-in-law ruined my nephew's life with his incompetence. I yelled at them and told them
Starting point is 01:04:46 that society's inability to forgive mistakes is the reason why we're in this mess and they eventually kicked me out when the argument ensued for 10 minutes longer. I thought I was being reasonable. However my girlfriend is also on their side. Am I the asshole?
Starting point is 01:05:04 Okay, I feel like this might be one of the hardest ones we've ever done because we need to know the circumstance. I don't. At all. Do you have an opinion? Yeah. Let's hear it. I do not think this was the first time he's tried to pull a funny TikTok prank.
Starting point is 01:05:20 I can't imagine you just go from 0 to 100 I'm sure this was kind of a running thing where it's like, hey, please stop not into the TikTok pranks and then this one resulted in permanent brain damage. I
Starting point is 01:05:36 I don't know what the intention of the prank was but I think when someone hurts you and your child so deeply so badly I think even if you love that person if you recognize this is something you're never going to be able to get over
Starting point is 01:05:52 I think it's fair. Bye. Like I'm always going to look at you and look at what you did to my child. Right. But the context of the prank is so key in this. If it was just simply like a like a pop out or a loud
Starting point is 01:06:08 noise or like some scare prank or something and someone trips and falls in a really terrible way then a really hot take two hot takes three hot takes today is then she's taking out the emotions of how terrible
Starting point is 01:06:26 of the situation now of what has happened she's now taking that out on the relationship to be able to put blame somewhere even if there's no place to technically put the blame depending on the context of the prank.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Yeah. I mean because mistakes do happen. Yeah. You could pull a prank like oh I did this and then it has some terribly not foreseeable adverse consequence and though yes it is annoying that it came from a prank and didn't have to
Starting point is 01:07:00 the prank didn't have to happen it's just one of those freak things. I mean we've all done that where you're like all having a good time and something dumb happens and then someone actually gets hurt and it's like oh shit like and this is an extreme like
Starting point is 01:07:16 I can't even imagine having this happen to anybody but I think it relies so much on the context of the prank like did he actually go and be like ha ha and push him down a flight of stairs because that's a lot different than oh I'm doing something
Starting point is 01:07:32 and then like the unforeseeable which I think is the key word consequence is he falls and gets this hurt. So let me ask you this what is your take on this like I hear everything you're saying but so you think she was an asshole for jumping to divorce? I can't
Starting point is 01:07:48 make a decision until I know the prank. More context do we have anymore? No the account's been suspended. I can't see any I don't see any comments from OP while I'm scanning quickly. Because I'll clarify
Starting point is 01:08:04 if it was one of those pranks where it was totally unnecessary and you could infer the risk of someone getting hurt then yes I would be done in the relationship too because that's just idiotic. Why would
Starting point is 01:08:20 you put someone at risk for something so dumb? But if you totally could not foresee it like it's very unreasonable to consider that someone would get this hurt from whatever action you were doing then I don't see how you could put all
Starting point is 01:08:36 that blame on that person. Based on the severity of his injuries like I was quick scrolling through the comments and like I kept seeing permanent brain damage in all caps and like commenters just from typing that is mentioned 20 times and that's like
Starting point is 01:08:52 if they use the right spelling and I can't imagine like a jump scare type prank is going to result in permanent brain damage. It's possible. Well someone has died just from falling down the stairs like I forget it because someone you or Lauren knew from college like somebody
Starting point is 01:09:10 knows somebody who fell down the stairs hit their head was fine was rushed to the doctor or like the ER for a concussion or something they discharged them died of a brain bleed. So it's and all they did was fall down the stairs they missed a step. So to me I'm I know I'm being very devil's
Starting point is 01:09:26 advocate but accidents happen accidents like if if Justin is you know to your point if he was doing a prank and it just like a door opened which knocked this person down the stairs they could have severe injuries from something that wasn't intended
Starting point is 01:09:42 you know and and I'll just say this like it's interesting because we all have a different take on this and they're probably all considered a hot take because my take on this is kind of a blend of both of yours and for me those details don't matter to me
Starting point is 01:09:58 because I think that to touch on your point earlier who's to decide what is an emotional or not emotional reason to divorce somebody it's your marriage and you kind of touch on this
Starting point is 01:10:14 earlier regardless of the intention the prank the severity the unforeseeable foreseeable factors if this woman can't look at her husband the same way and she harbors resent for him then why would you stay in that marriage yeah and that's where it's like it's really shitty
Starting point is 01:10:30 and I think it is it's by some people's you know standards an extreme punishment or an extreme consequence but so be it then because if this woman is so hurt and can never look at her husband the same way will always resent him no matter what happens
Starting point is 01:10:46 then for the both of their sakes it's better they're done it's better than that not in the same way so that's why these little details actually don't really matter in my opinion what matters is can she move past it can she forgive him that's true I think that's kind of how I look at it I think I got on the track
Starting point is 01:11:02 of like is the guy who did the prank the asshole right so when you were talking I was like you're actually answering a different question yeah but but we can all agree like if it was ill intended then of course like it's a whole different quote but you know we're actually none of us are answering the question I know
Starting point is 01:11:18 yeah it's am I the asshole for calling her ridiculous which yeah it's not your life it's not your marriage it's not your child and boo who you can't watch football with your brother yeah I was thinking what a fucking sports bar yeah get a friend I was it's funny we were all kind of
Starting point is 01:11:34 not answering the original we got lost in the sauce well I knew from the get-go I was like I know that we're not going to even give that attention because we're so focused on the other elements that are kind of outshot like shining that but it's hard to answer that question too because are you an asshole
Starting point is 01:11:50 for calling your sister ridiculous if I had to answer that yeah because who are you to decide what's ridiculous in her marriage well and you don't you're not in her marriage I think it's like it's kind of one of those things where it's like like I said I'm like I don't
Starting point is 01:12:06 believe this was the first prank I can imagine this didn't go zero to 100 so for her this could have been the final right devastating straw and so who knows what was going on behind closed doors and it's like who are you right to speak you're yeah you're not
Starting point is 01:12:22 in it I pulled this train way off track no you didn't I like you made great points and I like how passionate you got about like the unforeseeable over because it everyone's thinking it like well what was the prank how direct was the injury you know but it's kind of
Starting point is 01:12:38 like all of that is like kind of moot in this in the grand scheme of things because regardless if it was a total perfect storm weird one off you know the if the wife if she can't look at her husband the same way yeah always harbor resentment and anger and
Starting point is 01:12:54 it then yeah it's her boundary to have it's totally fair yeah there's I mean people people ate in the comments but one I think that was really interesting I just lost it
Starting point is 01:13:10 this really terrible though it's so sad if I'm him I don't know how I would probably never want to use tiktok app ever again no yeah I don't know how you could live with yourself I mean this poor he was 15 his whole life is
Starting point is 01:13:26 so changed but someone comments and it's a ways down I found out just by searching permanent brain damage but you're the asshole permanent brain damage is the limit to most people's ability to forgive well I think your point is interesting because
Starting point is 01:13:44 I think you know you look at a lot of situations or I don't know I think it's used for a lot of movie plots it's like a group of teenagers was driving home from a party and a drunk driver hit him and the one survived but the rest of the town hates the one that was driving right and I think that does come up
Starting point is 01:14:00 in a lot of our stuff where you know we have misplaced blame and accidents do happen but yeah I think back to OP actually asking am I the asshole for telling my sister she's ridiculous for divorcing her husband yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:14:16 it's not your marriage right and that yeah it's yes I'm like I'm falling further into a little hole right now I just want to like tuck away and let the show continue if I wasn't here but it's making more sense to me because then
Starting point is 01:14:32 you could theorize right if they had a perfect relationship and this was a freak weird accident mistake yes it's still her call what how she wants to interpret those emotions but you'd think that then she wouldn't it wouldn't be a question of like
Starting point is 01:14:50 okay we need to split up it's obviously due to to bigger circumstances or a super malicious prank which could be unforgettable but if it weren't any of those then we wouldn't be talking about the divorce
Starting point is 01:15:06 we'd be talking more about the you know the injuries and the prank itself maybe right and I think that the theme if you boil everything down it's forgiveness that's the concept of forgiveness is what's really at play here and I mean it's funny this is that's happened
Starting point is 01:15:22 a bunch of times on the show in episodes where I've been listening to episodes that I'm not even on and I'll be like do they realize that they're actually not even focused on the question anymore because we all hear so many different things when we're listening and then we like get so fixated on that one point do we forget
Starting point is 01:15:38 about the rest we all three heard different things different things resonated with all three of us and it just goes to show how differing opinions and that was at play here or listening with your triggers my mind's pranks I hate pranks
Starting point is 01:15:54 I don't like pranks either actually so I dated somebody who loved to kind of mess with me and scare me and spook me and do pranks and it actually got to a point where I was like this could lead to a breakup and that sounds so funny but you'd be out right away
Starting point is 01:16:10 I hated it I started to get really frustrated and I was like you just can't live comfortably I think if you have a prankster in your life you're older you're never truly comfortable at least based on my experience and I don't I've got enough cortisol as it is
Starting point is 01:16:26 I don't need anymore have you seen those Australian guys on TikTok I know we're going way off but those three guys where they literally just cannot like they sit on the couch in their living room and it explodes and it's just like
Starting point is 01:16:42 it's exhausting I know you get views but you're living like that always on edge like you guys are about to do some fucked up shit you know what I mean I hate that they must be adrenaline junkies and they just need it in their day to day I don't understand it
Starting point is 01:16:58 also I don't know how the jackass guys never got like well I guess the one never mind never what got like how you watch those movies and they just like fall in ways where you're like yep they're fucked up and then they're just like yeah and it's like
Starting point is 01:17:14 shit yeah well even like they said though and one of the recent ones we watched was like 4.5 or whatever they said I live my life constantly on edge like they were even doing like interviews where people were asking them like
Starting point is 01:17:30 how was filming this show and that like post whatever interview still isn't off limits and one guy got gallons of horse semen dumped on him what it's like torture it's torture and there was one guy who
Starting point is 01:17:46 like they were in like a dark room for like 10 minutes and just had people poking them with cattle prods the electric cattle prods that is torture I don't know how you could ever subject yourself to that that just feels
Starting point is 01:18:02 crazy I can't imagine walk the dogs, school drop off meetings from 10 to 3 take kids to soccer then no time left for a jog when everyone else is relying on you it's easy to put your needs last
Starting point is 01:18:20 BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others find more balance with BetterHelp visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month that's better h-e-l-p.com moving along
Starting point is 01:18:38 okay one more I think we're done I had like another one that was kind of um I mean I have a lot of shitty ones like am I the asshole for asking my boyfriend when he'll be over his dad's death oh god come on
Starting point is 01:18:54 I mean they're bad like there's just so many bad ones this is a dark episode yeah I didn't realize how dark I do have a palette cleanser at the end though it's kind of sad but still trigger warning on this next one you guys it does contain talks of miscarriage my aunt tried to
Starting point is 01:19:10 announce her daughter's pregnancy at my baby shower for my rainbow baby and for those of you who don't know um a rainbow baby is like a pregnancy after you've suffered miscarriages or stillbirths things like that I didn't know that
Starting point is 01:19:26 I'd posted this originally on am I the asshole and had been told that this would fit perfectly here since my aunt is the entitled parent calling from um our slash entitled parents my husband and I are finally expecting our rainbow baby after years of infertility and multiple miscarriages
Starting point is 01:19:42 it's safe to say we and our family are very freaking excited my mom is probably the most excited she's been planning our baby shower and making decorations for months she's been the biggest help during this exciting yet scary pregnancy a few weeks ago
Starting point is 01:19:58 my aunt told my mother and I that my cousin is pregnant we are very happy for her however my aunt said their plan is to announce her pregnancy at my baby shower since we are having a big party anyways she said it's not a big deal and we both
Starting point is 01:20:14 can share the day I said absolutely not because we have been waiting for this day forever and it should be all about me and my rainbow baby my mother is on my side and told my aunt that they better not announce anything at the party
Starting point is 01:20:30 she stopped it and nothing else was said last saturday was my baby shower it was everything I've waited for everything is going good no one has announced my cousin's pregnancy when it was time for us to eat my cake my aunt said hold on hold on everyone
Starting point is 01:20:46 and went outside to her car to grab something that was the moment I knew something was up my mother and I follow her outside and my aunt decided to bring a cake and some presents for my cousin my mother immediately told
Starting point is 01:21:02 my aunt that she will not be bringing those back into the rec center and they will not be ruining my day my aunt started throwing a fit screaming this is a baby shower it's for babies cousin is having a baby too so this day should be about her too my cousin
Starting point is 01:21:18 now joins the screaming and says how pissed off she is that everything is always about me and why do we always have to be happy for me they would not stop screaming so they were kicked out by the rec center's security and half our family was upset that I wouldn't let her have a moment
Starting point is 01:21:34 at my shower so they left too now everyone is bashing my mother, myself and rainbow baby on facebook group family texts anything at all that's what we got there is an update though there is an update
Starting point is 01:21:50 why are they bashing rainbow baby what the hell there is a rainbow baby I'm sorry I would Steve Aoki that cake Steve Aoki the cake I would have flipped it let me carry that for you
Starting point is 01:22:06 you heard of a cake smash bitch that's what this is are you kidding me are you kidding me I'm sorry this is not real I saw you shaking your boots I was like arthur fisting again
Starting point is 01:22:22 I don't understand the half of the family that walked out this is just like before we got to that detail the aunt and the cousin this that happening for me that's like alright cool that bridge
Starting point is 01:22:38 is cut for me I don't know why that's just how I've always worked I would be fine never talking to them again that's just so it's so idiotic so also like on purpose
Starting point is 01:22:54 purposeful yeah because they already asked and said it was no that was just complete disregard for your day and you respectfully said no we're not going to make this about anything other than our rainbow baby which we are
Starting point is 01:23:10 very entitled to hence it is our baby shower why don't you throw a party to announce that why would you want to share don't you want your own day that's not how that works well clearly half the family is fucked that's wild
Starting point is 01:23:26 clearly it's like runs in the family something is off not a full deck you guys they're not working with a full deck of cards honestly the half of the family leaving kind of makes sense you're like oh this like they've been taught a certain way
Starting point is 01:23:42 yeah you're just okay I think you have to like be able to empathize with someone and just say like when you asked okay I understand like you're throwing the party you're renting the rec center let's do it it could be fun together but when it was a no because of the fact she's had
Starting point is 01:23:58 multiple miscarriages you have to say I understand this pregnancy you're experiencing has been a lot harder for you to achieve than me yeah and also I'll let you have your day I thought she was just gonna like spill the beans like when she said announce I thought she was just gonna be like
Starting point is 01:24:14 tap tap tap tap tap by the way gifts a cake ma'am are you sure she wasn't the one that uh had the two carts in Costco
Starting point is 01:24:30 coulda been it's the same type of action so I just yeah you can't reason with people I just can't I literally don't understand people that just do the most insanely offensive and rude things
Starting point is 01:24:46 it makes me feel like I'm almost gaslighting myself right now I'm like are we missing details like did they go havesies and on like the cost of the baby shower so therefore they thought like are we missing something no chance no way so the top comment on the this original post
Starting point is 01:25:02 let cousin know that if aunt cared more about her she would have had a party that was about her hijacking your party after being explicitly told not to do that it's plain wrong and absolutely entitled go it on your mom for not backing down and OP responds my aunt and cousin are the types of people who need
Starting point is 01:25:18 attention on them 24 seven if the attention was on anybody else they will do anything to take the attention back to them it's been this way my entire life yeah yeah and then they got the other half of the family just roped in fucking clowns
Starting point is 01:25:34 clowns a circus stealing that from my brother clowns a circus for the update some people have asked for an update and this is the type of update I never wanted to make I'm truly heartbroken baby's okay guys, baby's okay
Starting point is 01:25:50 which I should have just read the next paragraph first off my beautiful baby girl came into the world three weeks early on June 15th a Gemini we have been so excited and are enjoying every minute of her she's doing amazing and has already grown
Starting point is 01:26:06 so much now the update on my cousin and aunt on June 16th the day after my baby girl was born my cousin texted our family group chat and said she had a miscarriage I was so sad for her and despite still being upset with her
Starting point is 01:26:22 I told her if she needed anything to call me and I would be there for her I spent hours crying for her with her and talking her through everything her feelings, my feelings miscarriages, she came over a lot holding on to my baby crying
Starting point is 01:26:38 I saw a change in her she seemed so sincere well all caps my cousin lied she was never pregnant apparently a few days after her miscarriage
Starting point is 01:26:54 my cousin told her mother, my aunt that she was loving all the attention she's getting and that she lied about ever being pregnant she said she can't wait to magically get pregnant with her rainbow baby soon and get even more attention a few days ago
Starting point is 01:27:10 my aunt made a comment about it to my grandma and my grandma was very upset my aunt said not to tell anyone especially me since I'd be so dramatic about it she said it wasn't a big deal and everyone needed their time to shine a.k.a. my cousin's future rainbow baby
Starting point is 01:27:26 of course my grandma told everyone and I am so heartbroken now I really don't know if my aunt did or did not know she lied to begin with my aunt doesn't even care that she lied and her behavior afterwards was disgusting
Starting point is 01:27:42 so I'm leaning more towards she knew all along and was in on it however we have all not 100% sure about my grandma cut ties with my aunt and cousin I cannot believe someone would stoop so low as to lie about being pregnant then miscarrying
Starting point is 01:27:58 would be all for attention I can only write so much in a post so if anyone has any questions or wants more details I will try my best in the comments thank you it's the only thing you can do you're literally not going to change these people so just
Starting point is 01:28:14 get out it's the only thing you can do maybe karma will do its thing I don't know because honestly people like this always win that's the type of person that shitty people win those people terrify me that well no
Starting point is 01:28:30 shitty people don't win because shitty people have to live with their shitty selves there's a reason she needs that attention they don't win because they are so think of how miserable you have to be to do that so they may win on the outside but they are certainly not winning on the outside she scares me she's the type of person
Starting point is 01:28:46 that probably shouldn't have a kid because imagine the time she's going to take the spotlight away from her own child so much so to where has anyone seen that movie where she's poisoning her own daughter to keep her in a wheelchair I see her doing this just to keep attention on her whole life
Starting point is 01:29:02 where will she draw the line my mind goes down the rabbit hole on the what ifs someone that's willing to devise such a plan lie manipulate gaslight steal thunder all the things
Starting point is 01:29:18 what is she not willing to do at what cost I hope she doesn't have children damn sad this is a movie in the making yeah a thriller
Starting point is 01:29:34 like saw what we were on to something okay I'd love to see our faces because we're nodding along and then you say saw and we're like I just wanted to see how you guys would react
Starting point is 01:29:50 it feels like a movie that would be the tea up that gets the audience into it and you're like all fuck no what's this bitch going to do she creates a whole false lie are we ready for the palette cleanse I thought that was
Starting point is 01:30:06 I don't know you said one more palette cleanse I don't know I don't know if it's truly a good palette cleanse but I think it's got a lot of awards and it seems nice my girlfriends 28 female
Starting point is 01:30:22 brother donated his heart to me 27 male and we didn't find out until recently this is not a good palette cleanse but it's something it's not so maddening this happened when I was 18 and in need of a heart transplant
Starting point is 01:30:38 waiting on a list we were waiting for months then just like that we got a call and it changed my life I was so so grateful to the donor my mom and I even made our own letters to send to the family but they never wanted contact which I respected he saved my life yeah
Starting point is 01:30:54 but theirs was all heartbreak for years I was always grateful for that sacrifice but even more now that my girlfriend and I met years later and now we're expecting a baby boy in August also because we know the whole truth now she never talked about her brother
Starting point is 01:31:10 much so all I knew was that he died his birthday was the other week the girl wanted to visit his grave because they hadn't done it in a while she opened up about his car accident being on life support until they decided to take him off and since he was registered as an organ donor
Starting point is 01:31:26 that isn't what got me thinking though what did was the fact that the exact date of his death is when I got called in for the heart transplant me and my girlfriend decided to find out the truth because her family was grieving so much they never looked at the letter sent by me we had a long talk with her mom
Starting point is 01:31:42 about this because if she'd rather not know then we'll drop it her mom gave us her blessing to find out luckily she never got rid of the letter only never got around to reading it because it was too painful and that's how we found out it was only my first
Starting point is 01:31:58 name that I mentioned but I remember every word I said on that letter we cried for hours all this time life brought us together in this crazy way and neither of us knew it's too wild he gave me a chance to be alive and meet the love of my life and start
Starting point is 01:32:14 a family with her I feel like the luckiest guy in the world all thanks to him that's so beautiful like so sad but like like life is fucking weird and I so sad but like at least it it's like a full circle moment
Starting point is 01:32:32 and they're having a kid baby boy fuck that's all I got that's all I got that's so sad I still find it amazing that that's possible organ donation to that level
Starting point is 01:32:50 heart how many vessels and everything just crazy to have your body accept it too there's so many levels to it that's just crazy not only to get a donation but then to accept it
Starting point is 01:33:06 what's crazy to me is he was on a list for so long and of all the times that he could have gotten off the list how did it meet it was his turn wait that was just random yes Justin that's the whole element here
Starting point is 01:33:22 oh well I thought it was like you can connect it kind of like when he got the heart transplant before he met his girlfriend it was just a random chance oh okay I thought they were together no oh wow
Starting point is 01:33:38 yeah the brother died in a car accident it sounds like donated his heart OP received it lived obviously the heart took went on to live his life meet the love of his life she's like opening up about her brother's tragedy
Starting point is 01:33:54 and then he puts two and two together and goes I received a heart on that day the world is small the world is small you could argue like divine intervention fate's hard for me but really
Starting point is 01:34:10 I think when you have look at that chances how many people are on a heart transplant list right now is it by area though do they live it's like in a it depends because the organ has to be viable for transport to get to that person from the time it's harvested
Starting point is 01:34:26 to the time it goes to the recipient so it does have to be within a certain proximity I believe to still remain viable but it's also age blood type there are so many things and you just said the heart has to take so currently
Starting point is 01:34:44 a shortage of donor hearts available for approximately 3,000 people on the waiting list in the US so it's like and this one estimates 3500 so I mean out of all the people living in the same
Starting point is 01:35:00 I just like it's one thing that he got his heart because I've seen other people get like hearts that are younger and then like these two wouldn't even be in the realm of dating it's like the fact they were similar in age and then they happen to meet which I just am blown away I'm looking to see if
Starting point is 01:35:16 comments if they say how they met and OP does comment a lot but I don't I don't see anyone asking and him responding how they met and then they get pregnant with a boy they get pregnant let's start there we know that that's not something to take for granted
Starting point is 01:35:32 they're naming the baby after him too I figured they would I love his comments I mean there's someone that goes like mate that's mad the most heartwarming thought that came to mind was if you say to her I love you from the bottom of my heart it's the same place that her love
Starting point is 01:35:48 it's the same place that the love her brother gave and now the father of her child gave as well as the thought that your child will still get to know that peace of his uncle is still beating and giving out the love that he would have had if he would have had the chance to meet him
Starting point is 01:36:04 and OP goes thanks for the tears man we look forward to our son knowing how his uncle saved his daddy's life way before his mom and I even met it feels like an honor to be carrying a piece of him with us always oh my god that's so beautiful that's so beautiful
Starting point is 01:36:20 I just want to know how they met I know comment okay I need to do it from the THT account though because there's not many comments on it and I don't want my real account to be found
Starting point is 01:36:36 so I will comment on it when I give back to my other account but that's all I have for this episode I hope the end this quick story kind of redeemed it and people can still be great there's good in the world maddening
Starting point is 01:36:52 I think it's hard to remember that too sometimes you get so caught up it's so easy to tap into the negative right especially on this podcast yes and now I get done with these and I'm like let's watch something really happy but
Starting point is 01:37:08 I think then when you are scrolling on Instagram or wherever and you see just something that's so wholesome and heartwarming it gives you that reality check there's definitely good in this world and you have to really take those moments
Starting point is 01:37:24 I don't know how to say it not for granted but you really have to let more of those in and really focus on that stuff because it is so amazing the things that do happen every day I think one
Starting point is 01:37:40 you need to get on the wholesome thing for the THT & Supervised that you want to do the wholesome content to make a goal of like once a day or like every day you find some piece of wholesome content to remove you from everything we're going through because
Starting point is 01:37:56 there's an account I want to say though because you just watch one of these videos every day and you feel good well it's also the brain I forget the stat I wish I retained it so I always had this thing and it became
Starting point is 01:38:12 exponential I guess it became enhanced when Morgan kind of started the show and had a platform to talk to people and I always thought I hate, I never liked watching the news of course you need to like
Starting point is 01:38:28 tap into the news once in a while so you're not like totally oblivious to the world you're living in but I hated watching the news because I never ever felt good after watching the news remember Minnesota Bound that was like the one good thing on the news I didn't watch until I met you
Starting point is 01:38:44 it's like a PBS show they talk about happy shit please Minnesota people it was just like happy, happy things it was so peaceful on Sunday nights and so I always wanted to do this thing like happy news or good news
Starting point is 01:39:00 oh I think I know what account you're talking about it's when I started looking for handles because I was like I want to lock something down I found good news underscore movement and every day there's just pieces of content that just simply are just
Starting point is 01:39:16 happy and good even if you're going through some shit you watch one of those videos and you're just like it's all good I just got to focus on this stuff more well we have to make an conscious effort to do that because again
Starting point is 01:39:32 the brain apparently we pick up on negative more easily the ratio is very sad is it 20 to 1? and it's unhealthy I want to find it but it's something about you have to consciously go look for good news because you will more often
Starting point is 01:39:48 times than not find the bad and it's taxing stress it'll bring you down we can't afford any cortisol spikes over here yeah so I haven't found the ratio you're talking about but the magic ratio
Starting point is 01:40:04 where we can greet one experts say that when we can greet one negative thought experience our sentiment with five positive ones we can offset our negativity that's what it was yes you have to consciously think more positive to offset one negative thought
Starting point is 01:40:20 that's what it was that's a lot so I wonder for some reason I have a really high number we're more likely to pick up on negative than one positive well I think we all get caught in those cycles where you go through a period
Starting point is 01:40:36 of just like living that negative thought this sounds so inspirational motivational but I really do truly mean like I know what it's like to get stuck in that thinking you're in that for like a week and the toll that that takes on you overall health
Starting point is 01:40:52 like your body, head, everything compared to when you're just trying to keep it a little lighter and stay positive so on that note follow goodnews underscore movement on tiktok live show tickets will be going on sale in like
Starting point is 01:41:10 two weeks it's officially booked for varsity theater august 18th we're trying to plan a little after party at the library bar but it's it's now the college club so we're gonna plan like a little after party so even if you can't make the show
Starting point is 01:41:26 maybe you guys can meet us out come kick it with us the sweatshirts are gonna be dropping in black the two hot take sweatshirts in black which are probably I love them more than the those go so hard you guys those are
Starting point is 01:41:42 so major look at them look at that look at it but other than that let us know what you think about this episode and until next time until next time bye bye
Starting point is 01:42:00 music walk the dogs school drop off meetings from 10 to 3 take kids to soccer then no time left for a jog music when everyone else is relying on you it's easy to put your needs last
Starting point is 01:42:40 better help connects you with a licensed therapist online so you can show up for yourself the way you do for others find more balance with better help visit betterhelp.com today to get 10% off your first month that's better H-E-L-P dot com
Starting point is 01:42:56 the thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters I started exercising instead of smoking staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key I kept on
Starting point is 01:43:12 trying learn something each time do whatever it takes no matter how many times it takes we did it so can you for free and confidential help call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit 1-800-QUIT.ORG

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