Two Hot Takes - 75: Before, During, and After the I Do's.. Ft. Hannah Berner

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Hannah Berner! Wedding season is well under way, and who better than a recent bride to address these stories. First story starts at the 7:25 mark!! LIVE SHOW TICKETS!!! Moment House Live Stream: Momenthouse.com/THT In person tickets: https://concerts.livenation.com/event/06005CDEA5B32000 My Episode on Hannah's Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUrnL44ytfU Hannah's socials: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannah_berner?lang=en & https://www.instagram.com/hannahberner/?hl=en Partners: ZocDoc: ZocDoc.com/THT Upside: Download the FREE Upside App promo code 2hottakes Cerebral: Cerebral.com/THT Function of Beauty: Functionofbeauty.com/THT BLACK COLLAGE HOODIE / Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Patreon for Bonus stories & your own "What's in the Box?!" special merchandise at https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

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No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. Today I'm joined by the incredible, hilarious, smart, beautiful Hannah Burner. Oh, thank you for having me. Your voice is so calming. It's because I was yelling at TikTok and lost it. It feels like a meditation app. I'm excited.

And now, breathe in. One. Imagine you're on a beach, scrolling TikTok and Reddit for too long. And out. Yes. We're going to put people to fucking bed. But I don't think these stories will today. I kind of told you yesterday what I was getting you into.

I'm excited. I'm so, so excited. So you recently got married. That's why I wore white, but then I noticed you wore white, which is a crime. It's my bridal year. There's one rule. Let me have my moment. You're going to take it off?

No, it's actually really cute. I will take it off at some point. I joked with my friend because I was like trying to be a chill bride, but she showed up to my bachelorette with a white bikini and I was like, dude, dude, it's like I just one rule. Let me feel special with one color. And she's like, it's eggshell. And I'm like, okay, it's kind of funny.

There's no difference. There's literally no difference. It's off white. Anyway, I would have been like, we're going to immediately go diet in the bathroom with some red wine. You're done. You're done. You're done.

Just pee on it. I'm scared. I want to think I will be a chill bride, but I'm not going to be mean. I'm not going to go total bridezilla, but I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of mental breakdowns. And the thing is, you feel a power you haven't felt before because you're the bride. Explain this. Do you feel like Thor?

What does this feel like? Well, I joke about how bachelorettes are cults because everyone's like, oh, hell, Stephanie, she found one dick for life. And then she could yell at people and you're like, she's under a lot of pressure. And if anyone says anything bad, people are like, oh, do you support her or are you not a good friend? And you're like, no, no, no, no. But you're spending like hundreds of dollars for reasons.

You're giving speeches about how great she is when like, let's be honest, she's just known her since second grade. It's not, she doesn't light up a room. But if people also put so much pressure for it to be the greatest day of your life and if I, if you leave this podcast thinking anything, it's like, it's not, it doesn't have to be the best day of your life. Because why would you throw a party for yourself that stresses you out so much? And I have, I'm bad at like pressure myself to have fun.

Same. You're only going on vacation. You're like, okay, we have to have fun. I'm on vacation. I just want to sleep all day. I'm so boring. I literally scheduled and naps on vacation. Oh, no, a thousand percent.

Like I have to. I don't want plans because if I have one thing to do, then I stress about it all day. So I want zero things to do. So yeah, for my wedding, my biggest advice and bachelorette, I actually like don't schedule a lot. Don't make a lot of, um, I'm like, don't care about anything in your life. That helps. Don't have any expectations for anything under promise over deliver, under promise over.

Oh, I'm really into that. Okay. In all aspects of life. Can I hurry you for my wedding planning? Oh, I would love to. Oh my God. I really under promised. Like I talked on my pod for a long time, like I'm going to have a garage wedding, whatever.

And then, and then people were like, oh my God, it looked great. And I'm like, yeah, cause you guys thought it was going to be shitty. And if it was shitty, at least I had great people around me. So that's amazing. Yeah. I want to be honest. I told you yesterday I got scared. I was like creeping on Hannah's Instagram and I was like, I saw the engagement pictures,

but you, you did like a very soft, like your hard launch was like your proposal. Yeah. Like there's so many ways people introduce their boyfriends, fiance's partners to the grid. And so I was like getting ready for this. I was like, there's no recent pictures. Did they call it off? No, it's cause I was on reality TV where everyone is like so obsessed with your personal life.

So like, but then I got off it and I've been like in a rehab mental place of like not exposing everything. So even on my wedding, the first photo I posted was just a photo of me because I'm decentering men for my life, regardless my relationship status. I think, I think everyone needs a little bit about that sometimes. Yeah. And people are like, Hannah, that's insane. You're getting married.

And the point is, it's like Jennifer Lopez's documentary. Yeah. I need to watch. You didn't see any A-Rod, a little bit of Ben, but that was just probably so he wouldn't, you'd be like, no, you didn't let me see anything. It's like, we didn't need that. But you focus on you. And if a man comes in, you don't need him, but you want him.

Yup. But you're doing you and you're going to get that disco to loom, human sacrifice, just theme wedding if you want it. I love that because I, I just took a trip even recently with some friends and like, there was one person that was FaceTiming, their like boyfriend the entire time. And I'm like, this must be a girls trip, a birthday trip. Like, can you not? And there's this other thing.

It's like the Bechtel test. Yup. The Bechtel test. And it's like, if you can't have a conversation between two women and have a guy get mentioned, like it, what? So and I'm the first, I am boy crazy. I love good gossip about boys. I do think though, in my early twenties, there were moments where you like always choose

the guy over your friends and you look back and you're like, my friends have been there for everything. And that dude just wanted to talk to me about crypto for three hours and then like try to finger me and just hit my thigh, you know? It wasn't worth it. There's so many I could, if I could take back, I would, I really was, but I like, I love men and I feel like it's, but it's important to find the right people. You have to be focused on the right stuff within yourself.

Okay. I'm trying to be Brené Brown, but. It's working. It's working. I feel so much better. I want to do some takes. Take me. Okay.

So here we go. Your theme today is before, during, and after the I-dos. Wow. Uh-huh. I'm scared. It's going to be fucking nuts. Let's go. So up first, my partner and I recently got engaged and future mother-in-law ignored her

son for two weeks in protest. Silence is like the ultimate petty move. Stonewalling sauce. I do have to say I'm lucky because both my fiance's parents are dead, so I don't have to deal with stuff like this. That's so sad though. But he doesn't, I'm the number one woman in his life. Sorry.

I don't have to compete with you. You come with trauma, with humor. The first time we met, I was like bitching about my dad and he goes, at least your dad's alive and we laughed. And I was like, okay, I'll get along with this man. But that is really tough because you're not just marrying the person, you're marrying all the people around them as well. Yep.

So here we go. Do you go first or do I go first? I go first. I gotta read. I gotta read the contest. Oh, I thought that was it. I was like, uh-huh. No, I got a little more for ya.

Good, good. My fiance and I have known each other for three years, been dating for two and spent the first few months in a long distance relationship. Him in California, me in Michigan, and he eventually decided to pursue his education further at a college an hour away from me. When he made mother-in-law aware of this, she was angry and didn't talk to him for about a week. At his age, one would expect him to be out of the house already, but for whatever reason,

mother-in-law still thinks he's incapable of that. Every time I talk to her, she is overjoyed that we are together, says thank you for being there for him, loving him, treating him like he deserves, and making him happy. But when mother-in-law talks to him about me, everything is different. Mother-in-law currently thinks I'm not the one for her son and told him that he will learn this when it's too late. While at the same time saying, quote, you know I will support your decisions no matter what, I understand what it's like to not have parents accept the one you love.

All while doing what feels like exactly that. We made her aware of the date we set and that my parents offered some money to help pay for the wedding. And she was immediately angry that we chose a date without first going through her and demands that we wait another year so that they can match what my parents amounted. When we said that was unnecessary because we already have a date picked and the ball rolling, she called me inconsiderate for not including her in the planning even though she hasn't even said she's happy for us.

The date is 10 months away and we have lodging covered for all of his family. All they would have to do is get plane tickets, which they say all the time is no issue. Certain things will happen in your life where you learn about the people around you and getting married and engaged is a huge part of that. You see who's actually happy for you. Anything that people have been keeping in almost comes to the surface when this event happens. And it sounds like she can't hide her real feelings anymore. No.

Very two-faced though. The thank you for loving him and just being there for him and then she's not the one for you. Yeah, but I also, what creeped me out in the beginning was when she said he's not capable of living on his own. And if that's true, it's like, okay, well, you don't want to be a babysitter. But it sounds like it's not true because the dude is functioning. He's totally fine.

So she doesn't want to lose her little baby. That's exactly what it is. So you can't murder her. No. I think with these people, you really kind of have to just set the boundary of like, here's the plan, get in the boat or get off the boat. Like this is what we're doing. Mom, I love you.

I want you to be there to support me on my big day. But if you feel in your heart, you can't do it, that's okay. Wow. That's okay. Wow. Yeah, I do try to, I don't, I'm scared of confrontation. So like, do I think you should call and be like, do you have a problem with me? Maybe.

It's more like what you said, like continue being kind and try to give her as little as possible because she'll take anything to cause drama over it. Even you not mentioning the date to her when it's like, it's not her fucking date also. What's that have to do with you? I'm assuming it's, it's probably a weekend. So I don't know. Anyway, regardless. I'm sure she's got some PTO.

Get together. Use that fucking PTO, figure it out Fran. So I think this, you don't want to go into his confrontation because you don't want to feel the tension between him and his mom. Like that bleeds into your own relationship. So continuing to like choose love, I always say, like you can act out of fear, which is I'm scared that she's going to ruin stuff or just be like, I'm empathetic that she loves this man so much and it's great that he has a mom who loves him so much.

But I hope that he's, he's the one who's really in the hard place. Yeah. Because he could say, fuck you mom, that's bad. He could also say, we have to bend over backwards for my mom, which is also not healthy. No. Or he, they find a way to have healthy boundaries with her while also making her feel seen. Yeah. And so that's like my thought too, where it's like, she wants, I understand, you know,

wanting to help support your kid and pay for the wedding and whatever. And like, I, I get how it would feel kind of shitty if your, if your child's fiance's parents were picking up the tab and you couldn't contribute. I do understand how that would feel shitty for her. But at the same time, you shouldn't use that almost as like a, you need to put things on hold so I can save up money. Cause what if you can't even do it within that time span? Oh yeah.

People can't, she wants people to live based on her kind of schedule. Yeah. And, but I also think it's great that she cares to be that generous, but it seems like a little excuse just to postpone. That's what I would say. But you have to just take what she gives you. You know, she's talking to you behind your back, but I think you take what she's showing you.

If she says that's the excuse you say, that is so nice of you for wanting to wait. And, but I'm going to let you know we are okay with waiting. Yeah. Like, like we, you don't have to pay right now and we are going to be okay. And that's so thoughtful of you though for, for wanting to wait. Yeah. Okay. I mean, or just like put it on the credit card interest free 18 months and let her make

the payments. This is a finance pod. You guys didn't know that. Yeah. My brother did 35 K on the cards for his wedding. Wow. Yeah. I don't recommend, but yeah.

I kind of, I kind of like it. It makes us feel like I'm in stranger things. We're in a rave. Yeah. But I also want this person to also know that she's not alone. There's a, it's, there's a lot of relationships that happen with the parents of your significant other. Cause you weren't chosen by them.

Yeah. He chose you. So instead of immediately being like, fuck this bitch, which is fun to do, try to choose love and empathize with her a little bit. I agree. And I don't, I don't know if I'd give her any tasks cause I'm thinking about it now. And there was another mother in law story where all the mom wanted to do was the cake. She was like, let me take care of the cake for you.

I will make it so beautiful. It'll be great. Guess what? I didn't show up on the wedding day. The cake. No. Yeah. Like literally a direct sabotage.

Yeah. It's okay. Everyone's drunk anyway. Honestly, cakes are one of those things that they say you can skimp on. Yeah. Part of me was going to say if she can't pay at the time, like make her feel like she can bring something else. Yeah.

But it's a risk. Yeah. It's a risk. Even like telling her like you can give a great speech. I don't know. It's a risk. But also let's embrace a little drama in the family. Like what do you do if you don't have a crazy mother in law just like talk about the news?

This is, this could bring you closer by having a problem that you guys bond over and talk about. Maybe I'm trying to see the light in there. Yeah. The positive reframing again. I love a little drama. Even at my wedding, everyone's like, I don't want any drama. I'm like, I want drama at my wedding.

I want people whispering on the side. I want someone to like get in a fight. I want, you know, I want action. And excitement and energy, you know. Did you get it? Absolutely. Absolutely. But I wasn't involved in it.

It was afterwards that everyone was like, oh, wait till you hear what happened. That was the best part. Because no one, everyone was like, leave him alone. And I'm fucking drunk. Just like, I love love. Well, meanwhile, like things are going down. Someone gave up, gave a blow job to someone like that is exciting for me in the bathroom. Actually outside by the beach, which was fun.

I'm just living vicariously through my single friends. Oh my God. I love that. Top comment on this one. And this one did fly very under the radar. It's actually from a subreddit called mother in laws from hell. So there's only 57,000 members on the sub, only 71 friends online right now. Like it's, it's pretty small sub.

But the top comment is take a deep breath. This has nothing to do with you. I know, I know it feels like this is a you problem, but it truly isn't. This is your mother in laws problem. I wish someone would have told me that 20 years ago in a way that my brain could process. I can't stress this next sentence enough. Do not even contemplate bending to her will. Just no, no, no.

Learn from a million old married ladies that came before you that did bend and it made no, it made no difference at all. Except let mother in law know that she can now crow bait you crow beat crow beat. Have you heard that one? No, but I know what she means. Crow beat you into submission. Oh, violent. Yeah.

Don't even set that precedent. She's, it's like what you said, you get the boundary. Yeah. You let her know with love is boundary. Cause if you let her, the next thing you know, she's going to try to control a lot of things. Yeah. Shit or get off the pot lady. But it does sound like the guy's being good in this situation.

She would have complained. The problem is when the guy starts questioning and gets really in it, but it sounds like maybe this is a pattern that he's seen before and he kind of knows how to deal with it. I think so. Also not speaking to someone for a week who you've been having beef with sounds relaxing. It's I, the stonewalling stuff. Just like it's fucking hilarious to me. My brain doesn't work like that. Very dramatic.

It is. And I just like, I need to get it out now. It's definitely not a healthy way to cope with your problems, especially what they say like in marriage. The whole thing is like, don't go to sleep angry. It means like having healthy relationships means fighting well. Yeah. So like if your advice to, I mean, the way you turn after a fight is to just literally not give them any option to communicate with you. You're loving the fight.

You want to stay in the fight as much and you want to harbor in that negativity. So I hate that. Yeah, I do too. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where...

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This next one, it went like super, super viral. It ended up like being on the news. It kind of went a little crazy. Wow. Yeah. Am I the asshole for not having catering at my wedding? Oh, I remember that. Yeah.

My female 28 and my fiance, male 30, just got married two months ago. And we had our dream wedding. Everything was perfect. And I mean everything. My parents and his parents helped us pay for a great chunk of the wedding so we could be debt free. And we are so eternally grateful for that. The issue arose about a month and a half ago when my aunt started posting on Facebook about how disappointed she was with the whole ordeal and a few guests sided with her. Background, my fiance and I are huge Disney fans and we traveled the Disney world as much as we can throughout the year.

Disney is an important part, not only to us, but also to our marriage. The issue was with our decision to not offer catering services slash bar services at our wedding due to the routing of money towards having a wedding, Minnie and Mickey make appearances at our special day. The cost to have both Minnie and Mickey for a good chunk of time, 30 minutes, was almost exactly what our parents allotted for our catering budget. She said catering and bar. Yeah. So we scheduled an appearance during our first dance and our wedding photos for going served food, though there were plenty of facilities at the venue where people could eat. My parents were still very supportive supportive of us, but everyone else is being passive aggressive about it on Facebook. Am I the asshole?

I love that people are still talking shit on Facebook. I didn't even know two months later, you know, it's bad. And that's like wild because all your like closest friends and family see the shit you're talking. It's not like an anonymous post on Reddit. That is savage behavior by the ants. I kind of like it. I mean, I'm a Disney adult, like I'll admit it. Oh, you love Disneyland.

I do love Disneyland and I mean, I kind of grew up with it. My grandma was kind of culty about it. I mean, there's kind of Mickey shit all over the house. So I love it. But like, I would never starve my guests to have Mickey there. I was about to say, I'm a food girlie. I if people are going to pay to go to your wedding, the risk, the like, make sure they're fed. Yeah.

That's like kind of the bare minimum. And I am so open to modern weddings. I'm so open to literally do it in a treehouse. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I just feel like making them spend more money to not be like hangry is not great. I almost feel like that was more like a honeymoon move to like have a moment with Minnie and Mickey. Where like, why were the guests even there?

So there are some edits. The post was deleted. It got removed. The stupid moderators on this subreddit sometimes just love power. They do. They really do. So there were some edits that said like in the invites, they said there was food at the venue. Okay.

And then OP said there is also a vending machine. Oh, absolutely not. And then there was another comment from OP that says like, no, no, no, like they had a private dinner with Mickey and Minnie. They still ate and had like a gourmet meal. This is a full honeymoon moment for them. I think they got a little confused on my biggest, as a people pleaser, my biggest fear during the wedding was that everyone was having fun. Yeah. So I'm almost jealous that they're like, y'all could starve to death, but we're hooking up.

We're having a foursome with Minnie and Mickey in the back. That's what it feels like to me. It feels like this is like, it's very important to our marriage. Yes. You need Mickey and Minnie in your marriage. I just don't, I'm so perplexed. I don't have words. I'm still trying to form this thought, but it feels very much like the husband's being like cuckolded by Mickey.

Yeah. It is. Oh, I see like a new like porno category right now. I'm so curious. I mean, Disney porn is probably so viral. It's never crossed my algorithm and now I'm kind of upset about it. Oh my God. What?

They manipulate the characters. Oh, I don't like that at all. Frozen too. Elsa. Leave Elsa alone. Oh my God. That was not what I was expecting. I was expecting like a dude in a Mickey head.

Yeah. Not what I was expecting. Also like, let's be honest for one second. That is a man probably getting paid lower than he wants to put on a fucking outfit for 30 minutes when he could be with his own children doing something he loves. Yeah. That is a man to man you don't know with a fur head on that you're sacrificing your guests eating for. You're meeting fucking Randy who works at the DMV during the day. Okay.

Like this is insane. Okay. I obviously know there's people in the suits, but I want to be honest. I hate to be like, Santa's not real, but. But I'm like, I'm like tearing up because it's like, you're not like bursting my bubble by me. But there's this. Are you guys morons actually crying right now? This isn't something I've really considered.

Like when you like take a picture with Mickey, it's like, no, I'm taking a picture with fucking Randy. This is. Hi, Randy. It's Bob. This is actually like, this feels criminal now. Cause also I grew up in New York city where it's just like Times Square. All these people who were like, want a photo and then they like get hot. They take off their mask.

They're juuling. Like I see through the bullshit and I have to say, I do not. I just had an epiphany here. I can't take anymore. Life's been alive. Yeah. It has. It feels like it.

I mean, think, I mean, we're in LA. Like think of the amount of girls who like their dream of becoming an actress failed. So they have to work at Disneyland cause they're pretty to be a princess. They go through hell too. And take photos and get paid probably not a lot. They want to be on a billboard. They want to win an Oscar and instead they fucking go to your fucking wedding and act like they're happy to be there.

And that's worth your guests having a shitty time. Yeah. I completely agree. You got so heated there that I don't even think I need to say anything else. I'll just read the top comment. So the top most awarded. I'm usually on the side of your wedding, your choice. Yeah.

But yeah, you're the asshole. People took time out of their lives to celebrate you and feeding your guests is a standard expectation. And part of a wedding blowing a food budget on character experiences is just not the looks. And then the next comment. Also, presumably they had a registry and people gave gifts and you didn't even feed them at your own expense. Yeah. Tacky.

Yeah. Which they came out of this wedding debt free, which is a rarity. Yeah. Like people spend so much money on their weddings. If you like, I don't know how big the party is, but I've heard estimates for like a buffet style dinner being three grand. Yeah. So put yourself in three grand of debt to cover that additional cost.

That's not a lot. Break that up by 12 months. What's the math? Yeah. I'm not good at math. I have no idea. But it doesn't sound like a lot. No.

I love how I was like, didn't even try. We're not athletes on this show. But I do have to say, like if people are giving you like, I'm saying New York prices right now, say $200 to $400 as a gift for the wedding of cash or something worth that. They're probably, it's probably like $60 to $150 for each plate. So like they're almost paying for their own dinner. That's kind of like how it works. That's kind of what like the thing is for gifting that I've been told because like, I didn't,

I didn't know. Yeah. I haven't been to a lot of weddings yet, couple. They don't teach you in school. They don't teach you the etiquette. So someone said like, essentially you should always at least gift your plate. Exactly. Like at least.

They should have just honestly two things. They should have had just like a frame of Minnie and Mickey. Yeah. That would have been cute. Yeah. Or get Cousin Greg and buy on Amazon a shitty Mickey mouse and have him come out and do some funny dances. Done.

Yeah. And that is a DIY Disney wedding. I like that. I appreciate that. Okay. This next one is. Are you okay now? I'm feeling better.

To need tissue. I love how I just made you cry and I'm like, yeah, that's life, Morgan. Grow up. Eat it. Eat it. No, I'm, I, it's just like, it's, I was more laughing than crying. It is a difficult thing to distinguish sometimes, especially for me on the show. But yeah, it was more of a laughter where I'm like, holy fuck.

You are like, I kind of, like, you're kind of like a pretty crier, which is a little annoying. I'm not the kid. Your eyes were like glittering. I was like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was like, are you okay? But I was like, also keep going. I know you're very supportive.

It's gorgeous. Yeah. I'm, I'm like, just next time I go to Disneyland, I feel like I need to ask like, what's your, what's your name? Like, are you okay? Are you okay? Like squeeze my hand if you need help. Yeah.

It's, you know what? I'm probably going to get canceled for this. Disney World's kind of a cult. Oh, it is. But I still love it. That's what they want you to do. No, it's so sad too. Cause my grandma, my grandma's obviously were Jewish.

And while Disney was anti-Semitic. I know. And it's just. And sexist and racist. Yeah. He's a problematic bitch. But you know what? Yeah.

There's a lot of, even I joke that like, I had pretty bad taste in men before my wedding, before the I-dos. And I, I say it's a lot because of Disney. They get you to be attracted to like the most narcissistic douchey princess. Like, you know, Aladdin is like lies, cheats, steals, has an illegal pet monkey. Prince Charming is like such a creep. Trash. Trash finds a girl so drunk she lost her shoe and tries to fuck her.

And then, I mean, you could Prince Eric want to fuck a fish. Like it just, these also- It goes on and on. Their hair, it's like so pun, they're such punchable faces. And we wonder why do we like the assholes? I know. Even Princess and the Frog, which is like the only redeemable one for me, but he was still a little prick.

You know what my favorite one is? Mulan. I love Mulan. There's some bi-energy there that I, I just picked up recently. They kind of talked about it where Shang Lee, the guy, he was still attracted to Mulan. When she was a boy, there was like some sexual tension there. And so people have been pointing that out lately and I'm like, God damn, look at that. It also just reminds you how like two souls can be attracted to each other.

Yeah. And I'm obsessed with that. I love that. And then there's just Eddie Murphy in the background. I love him. I'm so pissed. I refused to watch the remake because they took out Mushu. Oh, hell no.

Refuse. Everyone make your daughters and son watch Mulan. It's really good. The older one? Yeah. Yeah. The original. The OG.

Sorry, I'm aging myself. The OG. Came out. I'm like, wait, there's another one. Yeah, it just came out recently. It sucks. It's a live action. Live action.

Live action. It's live. We don't have to say action. You don't have to make it sound like more eventful than it is live. Am I right? Live action. I know. I like what's the difference.

Yeah. They do like live action for like. It's a marketing scheme. For like Rapunzel. Like there's no fucking action. Like calm down. This is true. Gotta walk the dogs.

School drop off. Meetings from 10 to 3. Take kids to soccer practice. When? There goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last.

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This one's going to leave you, I think, even more heated than Mickey Mouse. Oh, get me upset. I kind of thrive on it. Am I the asshole for shaving my head before my cousin's wedding? My cousin, Delaney, 24 female, is getting married soon. And I, 13 female, was asked to be a flower girl in her wedding. I know I'm a bit old for it, but I'm the youngest girl on that side of the family. Around a month after being asked to be the flower girl,

I was diagnosed with anaplastic epidemoma grade three. Epidemial. I don't even know how to spell, whatever. I started chemotherapy and my hair started falling out pretty quickly. I called Delaney and asked her what the hell I was supposed to do about my hair. And she told me that it'd be fine and just leave it alone for as long as I could. We all knew my hair was probably not going to last until the wedding day. And my brother ordered me a wig online.

The wig looked a lot like my actual hair. My hair continued coming out in clumps and was getting extremely tangled and was just really uncomfortable. No one ever told me that losing my hair would be physically painful. So sad. This is so sad. Eventually, a couple of days before the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner, they happened the same day, nearly half of my hair had come out.

And I was so sick of the hot mess that my hair had become that I just cut it all off. The day of the rehearsal dinner, I wore my wig so that Braylon, the family friend that Delaney had asked to be her hairstylist, could figure out how to style it. Delaney walked in as Braylon was showing me how to use wig glue and absolutely lost it. She asked me why I didn't have hair and I told her, I have cancer, I lost my hair. But she kept berating me and eventually admitted that I had shaved my head

because of how awful my hair looked. She called me a selfish brat and said that I didn't have her permission to do anything drastic with my hair before her wedding. Am I the asshole? That is cult-like behavior for the bride to be like, I did not let you do something to your own body. You didn't ask me permission. This, I am...

A 13-year-old little baby with cancer. And you're going to berate her and yell at her? But also, how does her having a shaved... If anything, some would argue like, don't dye your hair pink. It like takes attention from me. She's just shaving her head. Is it because she needs all the attention on her? She doesn't want anyone whispering like, oh, you know, she shaved her head?

I don't know. And it also sounds like she has a really nice wig. Yeah. So, and it's a day that your family and friends are coming to celebrate you. Who the fuck is going to say anything about a little girl in a wig? And I'm sure most of the people already know she's struggling with cancer. Like, she's struggling with cancer. I mean, are you an asshole? Are you a monster?

Literally, there's no soul here. There is no soul. This is what you do. You wait for her to go to sleep. And you shave her head. You shave her hair. Oh my God. And you go, whoopsy, whoopsy.

I just, I've never understood, you know how like Kendall Jenner got a lot of heat for wearing like the sexiest black dress under a friend's wedding. And she's like, your friend said it was okay. So my friend Paige, who is very fashion forward and stylish, kept sending me the sluttiest dresses to be like this one going to wear to your wedding. But it's so funny because I would laugh and like, I don't care. My only thing is I like the tradition of like the bride wears white, but like I want everyone to feel hot and cool and confident at my wedding.

And if this girl who is going through cancer, it feels uncomfortable during my wedding, that's actually going to ruin my mood. Not her getting a little attention because of her hair through like such a horrible, you're lucky that bitch is like even able to go to the wedding. Yeah. And that's a color of bitch that was in like a nice one. No, she's a bitch. She's a badass bitch.

Oh, the bride is a bitch. Yeah. The little girl badass. Yeah. I'm like, it's so sad too. She's only 13 and it's so sad that she literally had to come on reddit and turn to reddit. Yeah. Because she was being berated and like, can you imagine at that age?

I was so ugly at 13. Like in things you can't control braces, pimples. Yeah. I had head care. Like I have full neck brace for no reason. That's just part of being a teenager. And all she wants to do is not be embarrassed by her hair. Also wigs are good these days.

I was a little worried when she said her brother ordered it. I was like, okay. But she was in the wig glue. So like maybe it's a lace front. Yeah. I think this is the bride projecting her shit on you, but that bride needs to check herself but ask herself, why are you so afraid of this younger girl having anyone talk about her? Like what are you missing in your day to day?

Because I'm telling you, getting attention on your wedding day for once is not going to solve any problems for you. No. Also, I think the wig is going to be less attention than half of her hair missing. Yeah. I thought she was going to get mad that she was walking down the aisle like without any hair, which is honestly badass. Like again, that would still be acceptable on my eyes.

Like I don't think she needs to even wear the wig. Shave your head. Do you be happy? As long as Chris rocks not at the wedding, which she just walked down the aisle. What's wrong with Chris Ross? No, he made fun of Jada for being bald. Oh my God. I know the whole situation makes me so sad.

I know. It's so upsetting, but I do have to say the second it happened, I was like, we are going to be talking about this for decades. Forever. I was like, this is a historic moment. Forever. I did have a listener reach out to me though once and she was like, would I be the asshole if I asked my friend to dye her hair?

And I kind of like. For the wedding? Yeah. Like blue hair or something. Yeah. And she was like, my friend always has like really crazy hair colors. Like would I be wrong if I asked her to dye it? And I kind of said, yeah.

I agree. But then like you go on wedding TikTok and I think the brides get obsessed with an aesthetic. Yeah. It's literally if you search like wedding aesthetic. Yeah. And they see these visions and they want to be just put themselves in that cookie cutter vision. Yeah.

And all the girls look the same. And honestly it's toxic behavior. So bad. We're all unique individuals with our own budgets and our own friend groups. And like the same way people want to look at type of beauty standard. People want their wedding to look a type of way to like keep up with the Joneses. And I have to say like you're only going to be disappointed if you're trying to fit into a TikTok aesthetic.

Absolutely. And so I think I said back to her too. I was like, I think you kind of are losing sight of like what a bridesmaid is about. Yeah. Like it's your friend that's there to support you. Yes. Like it's an honor. You're saying thank you for supporting me.

I love you. Blah, blah, blah. And it's like you have a choice to make. Like I think you asking her to like change her hair colors kind of out of the question. So you need to determine like what's most important to you. Like having your friend stand by you or having a cute picture. Yeah. And also this the friendship doesn't will continues after that day.

Yeah. And imagine if a bride went up to you and was like, Hey, can you change something about yourself? And I'd be like, wait, you don't like me for who I am. Yeah. After that, I'd be like, fuck this bitch. Exactly. It's so weird.

Okay. The top comment on this one, OP should tell her parents what happened and hopefully they will stick up for her. I bet the family friend stylist was appalled at what the bride was saying OP and I wish she spoke up about it for OP. OP, if you need someone to verify your story, ask the family friend because she seemed genuinely happy to help you figure out wigs, which I bet look fabulous on you. You are not some centerpiece.

You are a human being with a lot on her plate right now and probably in a lot of mental and physical pain. Your cousin does not own your body or hair. You need to speak up to your parents about it and even other family members if people start asking questions. I mean, then we have a drama wedding. Yeah. That because then everyone's whispering like the bride yelled at the girl who has cancer.

Oh, yeah. She's going down. I mean, they would eat her alive. I would argue to deal with it on like a smaller scale. Don't tell everyone. Tell your parents. Tell your parents. I mean, if you want to take her down, then yeah.

Yeah. Post on Facebook like the aunties in the last book. But I feel like this is like keep it little just because the bride is clearly unhinged. Yeah. And then afterwards maybe make it more of a thing after the wedding is over. Yeah. I mean, it's you don't move on smoothly after that. No.

But brides are not in their right mind because they've put so much pressure on themselves that they're actually not thinking right because they have so much pressure to make it the greatest day of their life. And it's your job to decide what the greatest day of your life means. And for me, I like really wanted just everyone to have fun. And yeah, I didn't put a lot of expectations, but if you're like everyone needs to have like a perfect wave in their hair, I'm going to freak the fuck out. You're going to freak out because guess what?

The universe laughs in your face when you do that shit. What's the worst? You're like, hey, can you get a nose job before my wedding? Because I feel like your nose is kind of sticking out in the photo. I literally feel like that that sounds like a familiar subreddit I've like heard. Like I've seen one where it's like, am I the asshole for asking my bridesmaid to lose 20 pounds? It's like, you are a terrible person.

I already think it's super culty to make all the bridesmaids wear the same dress. I mean, color is even hard because you know, like, for example, me and you wearing the same color, it'll look completely different on us because of our skin tone and our hair. And I'll be jealous because when you're crying, you'll be looking gorgeous, just sparkling. And I'll be looking like I'm constipated. But I then like body types to all. Okay. When people go in bachelorette to make them all wear the same bathing suit, absolutely

not. See you in court. Call the police. I haven't seen a lot of that. And the next time I do, I'm going to comment on the Instagram. You'll see like a one piece white bathing suit. With like letters on it. Yeah.

Yeah. Which hopefully that's over because it's super chuggy. You're a Gen Z cusper kind of. I'm a 1994. So I think I'm solidly a millennial. You're like, absolutely not. No. But I feel like you're quite knowledgeable about the internet.

Yeah. It happens when you live on Tik Tok. I feel like weddings inherently are chuggy because Gen Zs can't get married. So then like there's no cool aesthetic or way that we were doing it yet. And the concept, even like the celebrities, they're just having babies. They're skipping the whole wedding part. Yeah. A lot of them.

Like Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber are just like an anomaly. Oh, I thought you were about. I thought you were about to announce a pregnancy. If you guys could see my eyeballs, they just popped out of my head. I'm surprised they haven't popped one out earlier. I know. But I'm proud of them for like. Yeah.

I am surprised by, I feel bad in every picture. She's like, I'm not pregnant. Let me alone. Oh my God. Even on the Met Gala carpet, he like went to have his hand like on her stomach and you could see her like literally push his hand away and mouthing the words. They'll think I'm pregnant. Like, can you imagine the scrutiny?

Imagine just like you can't even bloat without someone being like, what's its name for your girl? So bad. Yeah. I would agree. Weddings are super. They're interesting. I kind of want to like a lope and then just have like a reception.

Yeah. Cause like I went to a wedding recently and it was, it was beautiful, but I'm not super religious. And I'm finding that I think like the ceremony part is, it's just like very. Well, if you think about it, the ceremony is based on a religious ceremony. So then it just seems like a weird watered down thing. We had a really quick 10 minute ceremony. That's what I want.

And it was really funny. I thought, do we need someone to read quotes? No. What do you do? Like, do we need someone to give a speech on longevity of love? No. It's, cause you know, when people are just saying words and they're not making sense, but it's something about love and everyone's spacing out.

Corinthians. I don't even know. You want to make it a moment. So you don't want it to be like a quick thing, but we did a 10 minute ceremony. But if you think about weddings, the old, the chewiness of it is that it's about like a woman and her dowry being given to another man. Yeah. And you say goodbye to the dad.

I forgot to kiss my dad when he like walked me. I walked with my mom and dad forgot to kiss both of them. It was just like, they were like, we're supposed to give you away. I'm like, no one's giving me away. I'm financially independent. I don't need either of you right now. I ain't a cow. I ain't a cow.

So that's how I think I'm interested to see how this next generation helps weddings evolve. And I really think that look at all, just cause they are wedding tradition, make sure it fits for you or kind of make it your own. And I think people need to be open to that. I love that. Yeah. Mine is going to be far, far, far from traditional. Yeah.

Two questions. You said you didn't care what people wore at your wedding. Did you have anyone show up in white? No, but my, um, my husband's nephew who's 13 came to my engagement party wearing a white T-shirt. And I cornered him and I said, Hey motherfucker. And I think you're all cool cause he's skateboard. But, um, you're wearing white to my rehearsal dinner. And I'm telling your mom no fortnight for three weeks.

Okay. And he was just looking at me. Cause I don't even know him that well, but I thought it was hilarious. And then whenever I'd walk by him, I'd like give him eyes and he's like, he's like scared of me, but I love fucking with kids. It's a problem. Like I, I become another kid and then, and then he realized I was joking. He started laughing.

Oh my God. It's so fun. But my friend, Sierra, who I make fun of, she's like the most gorgeous model showed up wearing literal floss and we didn't see it from her. But like her thing is like, she looks normal in it. Like that's, it was just like her whole like, you could see like the top of her pubic hair to like her, the bottom of her boobs. I need a picture.

She looked incredible. But that's the thing. I want to be like, look how hot my friends are. Yeah. And she knows like I was a beautiful virgin angel at my wedding. Yeah. So like I didn't want to wear that. And I think like I really said to everyone go off in the fashion ways cause I want people

taking photos, feeling hot. Exactly. What do you want? Everyone to wear a bag. If, if your friends hotter than you, they're hotter than you. Okay. Your husband wants to marry you. Anyway, that's my little, you're passionate about that.

Really passionate about that. I have kind of like gone back and forth on this where I'm like, I do think it's tacky if like someone in the guests wear white on a wedding day. Oh, for sure. And I kind of go back and forth with myself where I'm like, should I put my bridesmaids in white? Cause I did like Kim K's second wedding where they all wore white like satiny looking gowns and everyone looked amazing.

But then I'm like, I don't know, I might be pushing a little too far, but I'll see. I do feel special wearing white because I've, I never feel innocent and light. No one's ever like, look how angelic that girl is. So it was nice to like that's cause we're all wearing dresses. So it's like the one thing that differentiates you a little. I also do recommend what people hot take, what people don't know about wedding dresses is they are heavy and uncomfortable. Oh, that bustles a bitch.

And then like sitting and standing is really hard. And I'm like a very comfort person. Like I wear things for comfort. It was a fucking disaster. So get a second dress and it literally could be like 50 bucks. Goodwill. Thrift it. Yeah.

Or just a white, you know, cute skims dress. I don't give a fuck. That is your second outfit that you can dance in that you're comfortable in. Yeah. Cause people don't, you think cause it's an expensive wedding dress that it's like this perfect dress, but it's actually like you're not even when I tried it on, I like couldn't walk. And I was like, I can't even spread my legs. And they were like, why do you need to spread your legs?

And I'm like, I don't know. I want to get fucked in this. I want to pop my pussy. So anyway, just something to factor in. I just saw a bag too. It's like a little bag that you like, I don't know. You put it on somehow and the bag holds your dress up in like a little pouch so you can pee. Yeah.

And I also was wearing like skims underneath. And I ripped my skims. Did you do crotchless, made them crotchless? Yeah. Like around my butt. That's what I would do. And suck in the tummy, but have everything else open. Yes.

Let it out and out. Why don't they make crotchless stuff like that? So well skims, they actually have a little opening at the bottom for you, but I like ripped all around it. You wanted a lot of access. There's a lot of different entry ways. But let's just say when people are like, I want you to be my perfect date. There's so much that goes into it. It's literally think of every event you've ever had in your life.

Yeah. It never goes smoothly. So it's your perspective that can make it great or not. Yeah. I do have to say I had arguably like the best wedding I could have imagined. And it wasn't the best day of my life because that I would grow up. I never was like, I can't wait to get married. Like it was something I knew I would do, but it wasn't my life goal.

And I also think it's beautiful to have an excuse to get all your friends and family together. But like I've done way more like celebratory things. Like even just graduating college is way more impressive than me just like convincing a guy to spend time with me. This is so true and makes me so sad that I never got to have my doctoral hooding ceremony. And literally I'm a doctor and I didn't get my cool little hat. I do have to say you can celebrate at any time. I need to just have them mail me an outfit so I can take pics at least. Yeah.

At least get attention for it on Instagram. What's the most bridezilla thing you did throughout your whole thing? Obviously you didn't yell at a kid with cancer. I do. Psychopath. Honestly, I'm so kind. I did. I'm joking about like the TikTok aesthetics.

I did start getting into it. And the hard thing is you're planning over a year and the trends are changing like every couple months. So I finally like was seeing these late night flash photography photos and I was like, I need that. And then like disco got in. I was like, I need that. And then I really wanted like kind of a vintage Brooklynie feel. I'm like, I need that. But I'm also on the beach.

So and I went to Tulum and I was inspired. So I basically went from like do whatever you guys want. Cause I had a wedding planner to creating like the most insane aesthetic. But then after I said it to them and I sent them all these images, I just let them do it. And then the day of I saw what they did. So I almost like surprised myself and I kind of nailed the aesthetic, but it was also like my own, my own version of like what I saw on TikTok. I love that.

I literally just Googled the Hannah Burner wedding photos. We don't, I didn't, it's mostly on my Instagram. There's so many articles of you. We literally didn't want to do wedding press. Like we didn't want to. Oh my God. You guys are so cute. Thank you.

Silver Fox. You got there. Girls. Raise the age range on the dating apps. I'm telling you. As I sit here on normal episodes and talk shit about age gaps. You guys have a big one. Do you talk shit about age gaps?

We could debate. If there's a power imbalance, I think age gaps are not inherently bad. But if there's a skewed power imbalance, whether that's financial career, like job, I don't know if there's a power imbalance. That is really, really great that you said that. Yeah. Because that's what I think people mean when they're like, oh, like daddy issues. I'm like, I mean, I do have daddy issues, but it doesn't.

It doesn't correlate. Like I know whatever we all do. Love my dad. But I do, I actually dated a guy with my 20s who was in his 30s and I had been like switching careers and I had no job and he was kind of successful. And I felt more weird in that than this one because I'm at a place in my career where I'm financially independent and I'm, and he's financially independent and we don't need each other.

No. But if I, I could see if I was like, if I needed, I just, I never want to feel indebted to someone. Yes. If I want to give a blow job, I want to give it because I want to do it. Not because you bought me a dessert. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And that's a lot of the stories. Unless it's tiramisu. A lot of the stories are like, my boyfriend wants me to move across the country with him and he'll give me an allowance, but I can't go to work. And I'm like, okay. Well, that is kind of that fetishy of financial control sugar daddy type stuff. And I'm all about that. If you're into that and some girls really get turned on with the like being taken care

of thing where I actually have like a phobia of being stuck in a relationship that I can't get out of for some reason and I don't have any control. So, and I do think that's why I, I found a healthy relationship because we're both in places in our career that we're not competitive with each other because we do like different things. You just make each other's lives better. Exactly. It sounds so horrible to say I don't need my husband.

But that's how it should be. I want him. I want him. But guys, right before I met him, I, I was alone, single and quarantined with four cats and my parents. There was like, Sounds like a good time. 99.

Honestly. Party. It was lit. Party. The laundry is getting done. And I really got to a place. I hate when people are like, it happens when you're not looking because you have to look. You have to, but it's happens when you're again, decentering men from your life and you're

focusing on your shit while being open to good energies, like coming towards you. That's literally how I met my boyfriend. I was not looking, but I was putting myself out there. Yeah. But it was very like unintentional. Yeah. And you're putting yourself out there and things you want to do, not forcing yourself to go to a bar that you hate more like, Oh, I'm going to do this, you know, volleyball league

because I think it's fun. So I do think with age gaps, it's really like, it's a soul thing. And like his mind in my mind, like I fell in love with his mind. And the fact that he has a beach house is nice, but that is beside the point. Yeah. Really happy for you. Your wedding pictures are incredible. I love the gloves and you got that flash picture on the beach.

It looks like. Yes. That was one with all the aesthetics on my Instagram, maybe where I put, you see like the tablescapes and shit, but I, I think I nailed the aesthetic. I wanted, I didn't want it to be like Hampton's corny, you know, like seashells and navy and white. I wanted it to feel like I said Brooklyn on the beach and. Oh my God.

Your cake is okay. Oh my gosh. That little purse. You got, you had a great photographer. It kind of looks like a seance is happening, which was the vibe. I wanted like a rug on the beach of vintage rug. Yeah. It's a Persian rug.

Beautiful flowers on both sides. And then we did like kind of amber cups. It's so cute. Thank you, babe. It's so eclectic, but like. Intentful. I love it. Yeah.

Love the pompous. I just had a good wedding planner. I highly recommend if you can't afford a wedding planner, getting at least a day of coordinator. Okay. It's very, very, very important because you cannot coordinate your own wedding. No. And that woman will make its priceless to have like a little bit of peace in your head. And I've heard they can solve day of problems like people wearing white or.

Send them out. Send them home. What this woman did. Oh, what's next? Today I fucked up by wearing a shawl to a wedding. My husband and I are invited to a wedding. And in the spirit of a little modesty, I brought a shawl with me to wear over my dress. The shawl was a white cream with an abundance of floral pattern.

So despite the long argued what counts as white, I thought it was still kosher to wear. Wedding went off beautifully. We're home safely and I'm doing laundry. As I'm hanging the shawl to dry, I noticed the floral pattern isn't as random as I thought. Not only is it not random, but the patterning is letters. Guys, gals and non-binary pals, this shawl says bride on it in big floral lettering. I don't know how I missed it. I am absolutely mortified and I'm now praying to anyone who will listen that it was a wrinkled upside down and backwards enough that hopefully no one could put the letters together.

And I do have a picture. You have to not know how to read to miss that. Okay, I was envisioning like tons of random flowers and patterns. That is just- White shawl that says bride. That's just a white shawl that says bride. I think it's, she's owning up to it. Yeah.

I do think, what would you do? Do you tell the bride, assuming the people know and owning up to it, be like, I'm so sorry, let's laugh about this? Or do you just hope no one knew, which they probably did? Oh, they knew. People were talking about this for sure. Especially if you're draping this across your back like a cape, it literally says bride on you. It's also ugly.

So part of me like wouldn't care. I'm like, okay, you have like this tan weird thing. It is an ugly as scarf. I will say. I'm more upset that she decided that was the- The play. Because part of me is just like that was- But then I feel like that's something I would do.

I don't know. I think I'm one that always gets cold. So like I will have a bucket of blankies at my thing. Yes. Like I could see myself just grabbing something and not thinking about it. Yeah. But for a wedding outfit, you kind of- It's not like you're just going to hang out with a friend.

No, bring like a nice blazer to put over your shoulders or something. Also, where are your friends? Where's your husband? Like that's the kind of thing that I'd put on and then my friend would immediately be like, what are you wearing? Yeah. I don't understand because if I saw someone at a wedding wearing this, I would like casually go up to them and just be like,

hey, I'm not sure if you know, but your shawl says bride on it. Or maybe people assumed that like she asked the bride if she could wear it. Like cause she was cold. Oh my God. I don't know. I literally, this reminds me. I just had a friend that went to a wedding and his girlfriend wore a white dress. Like a white dress to the point where we had to message him and be like,

wait, did you guys get married? This is my question to any of the girlies who've done this. What went on through your, like what happened? Cause I am very bad at traditions and stuff and I also hate to follow rules, but you will not see me near a light shaded color at a wedding. It's almost like give your 200 bucks and have a nice blue dress and shawl. And shut the fuck up and get drunk. That's like your only job.

That was the dress to the point where it could be a wedding dress. I mean, she looks gorgeous. No. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Did anyone say anything? So we messaged him. We're like, dude, did you guys get married?

We like played it off. We're like, did you guys get married? Yeah. And apparently it was a black and white wedding. But I mean, I'm a literally, she definitely, I saw the, I saw the picture. She definitely upstaged the bride. See, it's bad. Like you still, even if it's a black and white theme,

like you gotta, you gotta just look a little uglier. I've also seen brides who go not with the white dress. There's a lot of people that are doing black these days. Black, green. I've really, my thing is like, you, it's the, it's, I hate to now sound like, this sounds chuggy, but like, I like the idea of wearing bride, wearing a bridal white, because I also love the idea that like, you're pretending your version.

I think it's hilarious. Like I actually like that tradition to be like, we've done anal. Like I think it's funny. Actually, I do need to let people know I played hard to get with my husband. You have to. I told him I'm not doing anal till the night we get married and Did you? Nope.

She's still holding off because you know what? He still needs to work for it. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. And that's how it's done. Ladies, gentlemen's non-binary pals. That was a good little intro she had there. Guys, gals, non-binary pals. I love it.

It sounds like a rap. Can you rap? Guys, gals, non-binary runner. Pretty good. Solid. Solid. So I, Day of Coordinator, I think is essential. Yeah.

I've determined. I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, the whole black and white thing is interesting to me too. It's just also hard for me to find you. It's coffee. Like if everyone is wearing white, you just kind of get lost. I know.

Yeah. So true. Because thinking about the wedding I just went to a couple of weekends ago. Real easy to find them. Just white, white. Yeah. You're just this like beacon of hope for one night in your life. Okay.

Then you could go back to lime green. Calm down. My bridesmaids are not wearing white. It's decided. No. Or like give them an off white. I had a friend that just her sister got married and they had different shades of gold and hers was like a gold sequin dress and the other one was like gold satin and the photos incredible.

This is the problem about getting married though. It's all about making decisions about things that you've never thought about. Like if I said right now, do you want chrysanthemums or no? They literally ask you that. And I'm like, first of all, I don't know how to spell chrysanthemum. I don't know what it looks like. Sounds ugly. I know.

I don't want it. And all these little details. I want peonies. That you've never thought of. And roses. So you have thought a little bit. And eucalyptus. Oh yeah, eucalyptus.

I know my aesthetic. But in two years, let's say this, that it could be different. Mine is classic. It will not change. I do have to say my advice for girls getting a gown, go classic. Yeah. Because the trends change so quickly. Because you have to get your gown a year and a half before because that takes at least

seven months to get made. And alterations. And alterations and all that shit. Which is hot take. So toxic. So toxic. It's a scam. Everyone, the whole shedding for the wedding needs to stop.

Oh yeah. Terrible. Because before your wedding, you suddenly think, oh my god, I have to be the hottest I've ever been. And people equate that to being like the smallest they've ever been. Yeah. And then you get all these, all nerves, like I need my pores to look perfect. I need the perfect shit at tan.

And then you're like starving yourself before the wedding. And then you don't, you look weird. You're miserable. You're hungry. You're cranky. That's why they yell at their bridesmaids. Because they're starving. So.

This is true. I really think it's about you being comfortable and confident. And don't look at too many tiktoks of other people's weddings and think that has to be you. Because they're not actually happy. They're hungry. I would agree with that. And also feed your fucking guests and fuck the mouse.

So. Not literally. Or I mean, they probably will eventually. There will be a mouse and a threesome in the, in their near future. Just making mouse wargs. Yeah. Walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to 3, take kids to soccer, then no time left for a jog.

When everyone else is relying on you, it's easy to put your needs last. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist online. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com. But this is a bridesmaid that probably does deserve to get yelled at. That's bad.

Let's see. Am I the asshole for making it clear how I'm not entirely happy at my best friend's wedding during my maid of honor speech. On Saturday, my childhood best friend got married. Her husband is very lovely and he takes care of her. They've been together for seven years and I've known him pretty well through my friendship with my best friend. But after they got serious, things changed.

Our friendship changed. And yeah, a lot of you will say this is a natural thing and priorities change and I agree. I agree that things cannot always be the same and how her priority now is her husband and the family she'll create with him. But still, I feel completely mad about it. I know I should respect her and move on with my life, but I have to also make peace with the fact that this change does not make me feel well.

I was her maid of honor, a great honor indeed. The entire time of the ceremony, I was sobbing. Not because I felt touched, but because I mourned our friendship. That day was the day my hopes of things returning back to what they used to be were gone. Everyone thought I was cute and how touched and happy I was, but I was not. But I couldn't say it out loud. I had a maid of honor speech ready, but all of it was just a lie. So I decided to scrap my actual maid of honor speech and speak honestly.

I said that I don't want to lie. I want to be honest, that I'm not happy. I'm not happy that this person she married is the reason our friendship changed. I'm not happy on this day. I just pretended the whole day out of her sake, but it would be a shame for me to get up here and lie about how happy and excited I am. I said I'm not happy, but regardless, I have to suck it up and congratulate the happy couple. There was an awkward silence for two to three minutes after my speech.

My best friend was whispering something with her new husband. The entire night my best friend ignored me. I asked to speak to her and she angrily told me how it's not the right time. Many guests gave me judgy looks. It had been two days and my best friend hadn't texted or called me and also ignored my texts and calls. During that time, many of our common friends said that what I did was very selfish and that masking selfishness as honesty is not an excuse to make things awkward on the wedding day. My best friend contacted me two days after and only asked me if my purpose was to ruin the mood of her wedding.

I said no. The purpose was to be honest. This is one of the craziest things I've ever heard continue. She said I'm trying to play the victim and how she can't believe I haven't even shown a bit of remorse about what I said. I said I can't apologize for being honest. She said many people believe I'm the asshole including her. Her new husband now feels uncomfortable even around me. Am I the asshole?

Yes. A thousand percent. This is one of the craziest things. If I said everything that I felt and was honest, I'd be in jail. I'd be in jail. And this is one of the craziest situations. I mean it's first of all problematic that the friend is basically saying, there's nothing specifically wrong with the guy but that like her friend getting a husband has changed the dynamic.

When it's like that's called life. This is why you need to get a therapist. So that in those moments you go can't wait to talk to my therapist about these feelings I'm having. And then I'm going to be happy and why I'm not happy for her. She literally made the wedding about herself. Yeah. And there are actually people that will do that in your life. I know.

That will take moments that are yours and then make it about them because they can't stand that they're not getting attention. I'm not saying this girl is a bad person but I do think she would do well with some self-reflective talk therapy. I have just like, I'm like, okay, does she not understand social norms? Is she very, very extremely self-centered, maybe bordering on narcissism? It's also like, that's the kind of thing. For example, if he had cheated on her. And he was a shitty person. Still, you don't go in front of everyone and go, he cheated on you.

That's some shit you do. Stick to the speed. I don't, but this is my question. How did they even get so far in this friendship if this is like how this person is? How did she hit it for so long? And this is also the kind of friend that, you know, at first you're like, they're so nice. And then you're like, they want to wear my skin. Like she's giving me that energy.

I was also wondering, I'm like, are you secretly in love with her? And the relationship for you is like very one-sided where you're in love with her. And she has always just looked at you as a friend. Do you ever like not get a text back from your friend? Cause you know, she's like with a guy or something and you're like, go for her. She's getting it in. Like that's the feeling you should start getting. Yeah.

Like happy for their success on capturing the dick. And I wonder what her relationship status is. So one of the comments is info. If you were in a long-term romantic relationship, OP, would you put your best friend first or your romantic partner? More info. What did you think was going to happen when you made your friends wedding about you? That she would hug you, dump her husband.

Yeah. Like what was the, what was the reason? What was the reason? There is none. And then would take, would take, and then you would take her husband's place on the honeymoon. I mean, I think if she wanted to be honest, she could have had a moment being like, I will always, always miss what our friendship was. And I know it would never be the same, but I'm so excited to see how we grow as people

in these new situations in our life. Done. You, you were able to be honest. Yeah. Cause what, what was the goal? What was the positiveness or anything that would result from her doing that? Oh, and that's what makes me think there's definitely something wrong with her where she doesn't understand like social interactions or social norms or how to like work with stuff.

And that is like, that's something that is very hard to understand for some people that are on the spectrum. They don't understand like typical social interactions. That's possible. Cause if you are in the spectrum, you literally just say the truth. And this is a very socially constructed situation of it's your time to literally just make, I just joked about with the bachelor, make a fake speech about how great these people are, even if they're not that great, but it's their time for you to give them that love.

Yeah. Well, and then I think like her, like the response to between the two of them where she's like, you're not remorseful at all. And her response was no, I'm just being honest. Yes. Which makes me think like there's not a lot. There's a disconnect. There's a disconnect with like understanding that you're not.

Okay. Yes. You're being honest on how you feel, but you need to understand there's a time and a place. Yeah. The speech wasn't for you to be honest about how you feel. The speech was for you to talk about like and sell it was a celebration to celebrate two people's relationship. That is some wild behavior.

And it just makes me wonder like, has she done this type of stuff before? Like this had to have been a pattern. You're just one day start acting like this. Yeah. As the bride, how do you think she handled it? I think pretty well. Like I, I think it would have been worse if you would have like kicked her out in that moment.

I think you just as unfortunate as it is, like it's kind of a very shattering moment for you. Like your best friend, you're made of honor, just kind of ruined your whole fucking day. It's tainted now. But I don't know. I mean, if you had a coordinator, you could ask them to have her leave, which it could have been more drama. I think she probably handled it well.

And if she had tried to talk to her, it could have gotten like made her more upset. So much worse. I also think it's the one time to let yourself pretend that like you're in a fairy tale. Let's be honest. You're pretending it's a Disney fairy tale because no one's life is perfect. No one's relationship is perfect. And it's a time to just pretend like that you found this like perfect situation. Let them have that moment.

Three hours. Let them have it. Good. Well, and there were a lot of comments from OP. So I do have screenshots of those, but unfortunately, like the post was removed. Account is suspended. So I can't go to the comment history, but I can see some of them. And so one of them is like, I've told her in the past, I wished we spent more time together,

but she said the amount of time we currently spend together is normal. Considering we are adults with responsibilities, I hang out with her either once a week or once every two weeks while she spends every night having dates with her husband. The entire time making plans with him. She has more time for him than she does for me. So I never believed it's all about responsibilities. Okay. I'm feeling, I'm feeling like, why isn't she trying to find the person that she wants

to spend time with and to partnership? Yeah. Like why is she so, that is, that is wild behavior. Wild. And they are in therapy. So one comment is I've been in therapy. I still am. My therapist said it's about my codependency issues and how I should make peace with my

feelings. So what will be easier to move on and how sucking it up won't help. Why is she talking about she had, there was a breakup. She's literally like to move on. I know. This is just a dynamic shifting. And I don't want to be like, she's gonna live with her, but there is definitely a unhealthy thing.

And also you never want to hang out with someone who doesn't want to hang out with you in the same capacity. Like what are you going to fucking tire up in a basement and just sit next to her and like scroll TikTok? Whatever you're into. I could see it. I mean, well, and like this, like this disconnect, I did this because I thought it would help me move on and more easily and honestly.

And I didn't think it caused that much backlash. How is that going to help you move on by like, you're honestly kind of villainizing the bride. You are. Which she's not a villain. She's a normal person that is just going about life normally. Yeah. And people around you are going to get affected through their own perspectives and their own experiences.

But yeah, her taking that moment to make it about her is the worst thing you could do. And you'll see that in a smaller scale with other people's speeches. They'll like talk about their jobs or like some story that just makes them look good and you kind of roll your eyes. But this is like the most extreme version. Give me a speech at a wedding. Make it about the person you're talking about. This isn't your time.

I am nervous for if this person never gets married and asks people to do speeches because karma's a bitch. Yeah. I don't think this person really understands the dynamics of like relationships to be honest though. Like again, there's another comment. No, my point is she already spends every day with him. They live together.

So I'd expect her to have some spare time to spend more time with me instead of him since he already sees her 24 seven. I think I saw a TikTok of this and I'm going to say it again. Unless you're going to eat her pussy, let her hang out with her man. Okay. Like unless you are giving her an orgasm, you're not competing with him on date night. Okay. That's the one thing.

Like I think women are so hot and so attractive, but that's the one part. I can't convince myself that I would be able to do. So that's too much information for everyone out there. No. But we just, we talk about this cause like we talk about like three some dynamics and we're like, do we want a guy first or do we want to like experience this with a girl first? So we do it and I'm like, I'm like, okay. And like TMI rabbit hole there, but it's just an interesting thing.

And I'm like, I'm like, that is the best way to put it. If you're not going to eat your friend's pussy, let her have a guy. I've been in that situation where like I've been with a guy on a weekend and my friends are like, you didn't spend enough time with us. And I'm like, okay, look at my pussy then. What do they say? They roll their eyes at me. They know.

I'm not forcing, but I'm basically saying like we're fucking and also what if you start forcing her to spend more time with you and it costs tension in her marriage and then her marriage, like there is just the motives here are so they give me really bad vibes. It is weird. And I will say like if you're working all day, like nine to five or whatever your hours are and like by the time your partner finally gets home and then you have to cook and make food, you don't get a lot of time every day. Like where you can sit and just like talk to each other.

Like there's not that much time there before you're going to sleep and doing the rat race all over again. And like if you're going to have to choose between your husband and your friend and you choose your friend, that's a problem, I think. Yeah. It says that the husband wasn't worth sticking with. Exactly. And I do think that the once a week hanging out with a friend is like incredible. It depends on the kind of friend you are.

I'm a very low maintenance friend. I could not see you forever and then run into you and like it's right there. I am, my love language is spending time with someone when it comes to relationships, but with friends it's purely like a feeling. So maybe she needs to find a friend that has that same like need. I socialize once with a friend and I need like five days off in general. I have a very, very easily drainable social battery. Same.

Like I, we took the trip to Mexico last weekend and it was only a three day trip and I love my friends. I absolutely love my friends. It was a great time. But even just like going to like a networking thing last night, I'm exhausted to where like after the Mexico trip, I sat in a dark room all day. Yeah. Like I literally sat in a dark room and read a book. Yeah.

I hanging out with a friend is like, is truly, it can give you energy, but it also like your trauma bonding. Like think about what girls talk about. Oh my God. We have to analyze the zodiac sign, the moons. Like it's a whole journey. Yeah. So I, once a week sounds like she's an amazing friend.

Amazing. Like my best friend, sometimes I'll see once a month, but hey, why don't we, why don't we do some face times? Let's do a face time, some texts. You don't need a fucking, also what if the husband doesn't want to leave his house? What if she, honestly, I wouldn't, I'm being like Sicilian right now. Okay. Like I wouldn't talk to that friend of her again.

After this, this one? I wouldn't talk to her again. No, I'd be done. Cause I'd be a little perturbed. I would never be able to get over that. I hold grudges. I really hold grudges. I think if you don't hold grudges, you're stupid.

Hot take. No, I will agree. Cause they're showing you who they are. Have a backbone. They're showing you who you are. Like people are like, forgive and forget. I do think forgiveness is important, but it doesn't mean you have to stop holding a grudge.

Yes. Forgive for your own self cause you don't want to hold that hate or venom. You don't need the energy, but hold a grudge. I never forget when someone fucks with me. No. They're showing you their cards. What are you going to pretend those cards aren't real? Yeah.

I have a friend that just went through something like this, like got really burned, like really, really burned and forgave them, became friends with them again, and then is now just realizing like, wait, I actually regret even forgiving them. Like I don't fuck with this person anymore. It's literally like getting back with an ex-boyfriend and then the same thing happens and then you're like,

why did this old food that I threw away still taste like shit? Yeah. I had a friend group too that I, they, I basically felt very upset about what happened and then they're, they tried to kind of like years later work it out and it's like, I actually have no beef with you guys anymore. I love you, but I don't want to go through that again. No.

I just can't. I can't. Like shitty friends when good friends are really hard to find. Yep. And so when someone is like so shitty and shows you that, bye. Bye. Someone recently said it's probably a TikTok fact,

which it means it's very factual, that you only have room for like max three really intimate friends in your life. This is, I'm pretty sure there's a psychology study on it. Yes. This is a doctor pod and that also someone was saying on TikTok that there's, when you have those large friend groups, there's always so much drama because everyone just likes talking shit about everyone in the large friend groups.

And I'm one of those people that never had a really big friend group or when I did, there would always be so much drama. So it's like, don't be envious of the people with tons of friends. Find like one to three people that you fucking trust. Yeah. And there's no reason to go through life surrounding yourself with people that you don't fully feel good around. I completely agree with that.

Like life is too short to have your energy wasted, like conserve it. And that's why like with the, you can forgive but not forget. Like that's Taylor Swift baby. I've said it on this podcast once before and I'll say it again. That's a Taylor Swift quote. She did it in an interview and just said, you can forgive, but it doesn't mean you have to forget. Exactly.

And I live by that. I live by that because if you're still pissed off at them, that's just hurting you. I'm getting very interesting info based on a study. An individual human can maintain stable social relationships with about 150 people. This is a proposition known as Dunbar's number. That the architect sure of a human brain sets an upper limit on our social lives. 150? Like, no.

Not for close stuff, but you know, that makes me think about how like why we're fucked up because our brains are not meant to see the opinions of so many people about us. Oh my God. Yes. Like at no time in history have you been able to see what people are thinking about you in such a capacity. No, it's actually psychotic. I think when you're choosing friends, especially in your twenties, your friend groups are going

to change, especially when people, they're, they make more money or they get in relationships or they move. Your life is based on the words in your head and the conversations you have around you. So if you, it's like a Christian thing, like surround yourself with successful people. I love that. If you surround yourself with negative Nancy's. That's what you become. Unlucky, sad bitches.

That is the voices in your head. So, and I'm not saying like social climate or anything, but surround yourself with people who like a vibe and their voices bring you up because that is the life you're crafting for yourself. So yeah, that girl, you're done. Yeah. You're done. Got to walk the dogs, school drop off, meetings from 10 to three, take kids to soccer practice,

then there goes the extra time for a jog. That's okay. Maybe next week. When everyone else relies on you, it's easy to put your needs last therapy is a dedicated time to focus on what you need to be happy. So you can show up for yourself the way you do for others. Better help offers convenient online therapy on your schedule. It's the same professional service you'd get from an in-person therapist, but with the

option to communicate when and how you want by chat, phone or video call. Go to their site and fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHELP.com. Well, this one unfortunately can't be done because she's in the family. Am I the asshole for revealing I was pregnant during my sister-in-law's wedding?

Yeah. I know it sounds bad, but hear me out. I, 27, female, found out I was pregnant about a month ago. I was planning on telling my husband, but I changed my mind as to excite my husband and the family at the same time. Okay. Though I was honestly a little lazy and didn't want to plan an entire dinner, event or anything else to reveal my pregnancy.

So you just used your friends a minute. I knew my husband would be suspicious of why I suddenly wanted to host a dinner party. The only other event that everyone was going to attend was my sister-in-law's wedding. Now personally, I don't like my sister-in-law. She's always on social media with thousands of pictures every 10 seconds, flaunting about her lavish lifestyle with her fiance's money. Me and my husband aren't as wealthy, so I thought maybe revealing my pregnancy would mean I could get even about all those times she bragged about her expensive new purse.

Wow. So she's admitting that this was- She hates her fucking guts. Yeah. Well, how did she even preface this? I know it sounds bad. She's like, how should I ruin this girl's wedding? Oh my God.

She's like, I gave birth on the wedding cake. That would probably make her happy about that bitch talking about her purse. Fuck. You go, if you bring up your purse again on Instagram, I'm burning the place down. Also, I don't even think your stories can hold a thousand, so cut the shit, lady. Yeah. We know the Swapy ones are only about nine. Yeah.

Oh, nine at a time. Good to know. Maybe 10. The day of the wedding arrives and everything is just beautiful. I was honestly kind of amazed at how incredible it looked. I tried to find a nice time to reveal my pregnancy, but it was honestly much harder than I expected. Flash forward to when we're taking pictures, and I gather up everyone to make an announcement. I ecstatically announced my pregnancy, but instead of getting congratulations and hugs

and kisses by the guests, all I got was kicked out. Everyone was whispering under their breath, but it was obvious to everyone that what I did was, quote, messed up. I don't understand why everyone was so negative about the situation. You literally admitted that you were doing it to be shitty, and then you got mad when people said it was shitty. Yeah. So continue. The most shocked about the situation is clearly my sister-in-law. She goes berserk, screaming about how I was always jealous of her and how I just couldn't help ruin the best day of her life.

True. I was too shocked to make a sarcastic remark. Where's the lie? It's Math in here. Math is Math in. She was screaming for me to get out. My husband just grabbed my hand and took us to her car. In the car, my husband lost his temper and asked why I would ever possibly do such a thing.

I hesitated to respond, but my husband sure didn't. He called me a massive prick and said I shouldn't have done that, and he doesn't understand why I did it. Every time my sister-in-law breaks directly to my face, no one starts screaming at them. When we got home, I checked my sister-in-law's Instagram, filled with exaggerated posts and way too many crying emojis. I honestly kind of feel bad now, you know, now that I've really thought about it, but I don't think I'll be satisfied until I get a professional response to my dilemma. Am I the asshole? This...

A professional response? What does that even mean? This is wild, wild behavior, but also, like, my advice to her is that you're suffering from severe jealousy. Yeah. And I don't care if the girl's bragging, throwing stuff in your face, that's her own prerogative and you're letting it get to you. And the fact that the second when she got home, she went back on that girl's Instagram...

She's obsessed. She's obsessed. You need to mute her. You need to start working on why her shit is affecting your shit so much. So deeply. But I'm also, like, low-key, I feel bad, but I was, like, rooting for the family. Like, I kind of love that they were like, that is so messed up because it was messed up. Yeah.

I mean, the fact that the bride had a freak out and kicked her out, it just sounds like that's the bride's personality. Yeah. And some people are dramatic and I just, like, don't understand ever getting so upset over what someone else posted, like, on their social media. Like, if you're annoyed by seeing purse pictures and someone traveling all the time, like, mute their stories. Yeah, there's some people that I really like in person and I find them annoying on social media and I just mute them. Just mute it.

You don't look. And it also sounds like you've been saying, like, they have more money than me. This is such, like, materialistic shit that's affecting you. Obviously, a wedding of materialistic stuff was, like, super triggering for her. But she's saying, am I an asshole? She said that at the end. Read your own words in the beginning. She literally said, I hate her.

I hate her and I want to do something to hurt her in so many words. Yeah. That's an asshole. It's like, I was too lazy, too lazy to, like, schedule dinner. It's like, it doesn't have to be that. Shoot everyone a text. She tried. I'm pregnant.

I know how, like, you can convince yourself that you're in the right by being, like, everyone's going to be happy for me. Everyone's going to be in the same place. Yeah. I'm low-key. It's going to hurt her feelings, but I kind of like that. Yeah. And that actually is not the reality of the situation and the consequences hit.

And she was an asshole because I, look, I didn't even, I get attention every night. I'm a stand-up comedian and on my wedding day, it's different than most people because, like, I'm used to making everything about myself every night. So I, but, so I didn't care that, like, my friends looked amazing and I wanted every, I wasn't as Bridezilla, but if someone announced their pregnancy, I would feel very disrespected because they're overshadowing, like, what the event is about, which is, like, someone else's putting thousands and thousands of dollars into someone else's beautiful momentous occasion for their life.

It's so weird. I think there's, like, there's a lot of Bride wedding etiquette. Like, don't wear white to someone's wedding. Don't have a big announcement at someone's wedding. Don't steal their photographer to take private pictures of you. Don't get engaged at someone's wedding. My friends are influencers, so they did, but that's... So this person got engaged at their friend's wedding.

Like, the boyfriend proposed at the wedding and then they took her bridal photographer to take engagement pictures for them. You're fucking done. Done. You're done. So she was like... But I have to say, it's not just, like, there's a reason why these things happen in these heightened moments.

And it's because people lose their shit. People lose their shit because it's either, like, really happy for someone or really sad for someone. And this is all people who don't know how to regulate their own kind of emotions and situations. I also think drama, I joked in the beginning, like, I want drama in the wedding. And then, like, I want... You know, like, I have a fun party, how the next day you call your friends, like, all

this shit happened. That's kind of what I wanted. But they were great in that they never told me anything. And I think another piece of etiquette is, like, never go to the bride and complain about everything. No. To the bride, the day is so perfect. Everything is running smoothly.

Find anyone else. And literally anyone. I don't care if it's a 90-year-old grandma using a walker to get around. Yeah. Find anyone but the bride to answer your problem or deal with it. She needs to do such a huge apology. Yeah. Like, the biggest apology.

It's crazy. I can't even imagine, like, being like, I don't think I'll be satisfied until I get a professional response. It's like... Imagine she has... The delusion. She brings out a cake and, like, with, like, a gender reveal at the wedding. I could see it.

I did read a story recently where someone announced their pregnancy at a funeral. I'd pick funeral over wedding. I'd pick that because there is kind of a beautiful, like, circle of life moment. That's what a lot of the listeners said. Like, maybe it's, like, a rebirth type thing. Yeah. A lot of other cultures, it's, like, really, like, it's a, like, a favorable event. Yeah.

Because I know, like, you're supposed to be sad, but you don't want to be sad. So if someone says something like, by the way, I am pregnant, though, you remember, like, life comes full circle, and maybe he's him, like, reincarnated. She did say something on her post, like, oh, with the old in with the new. It was a little fucked up. That was a little fucked up. But I thought about it. I was saying, I was thinking, too, the only, like, life event that could happen at a wedding

that I wouldn't be mad about is if, like, someone died. Like, I'd be upset, but I'm like, they didn't do it on purpose. Yeah. Which that happened at someone's place. Like, if you're gonna die, can you just die, like, after the wedding? Yeah. I honestly, I have never had to do CPR. And I would, I feel like I'd be the first one to jump, but I'm, I'm so scared shitless

because you hear that you crack ribs when you do it. Oh, I never even thought about that. Oh, God, I had a patient go down once. It was so bad. Oh, no. She literally, her heart stopped for 14 seconds. And I'm like, I'm like looking around the room because the old hospital I worked at, we had, like, code blue buttons.

And I'm like, where's the button? Where's the button? And she was gone. She was gone. And so we like, we're flattening out the bed. Like, one of my other people I was working with hopped up there to start compressions. And she like, came back, but it was dicey. Let me tell you.

I did just watch, I love creepy disturbing documentaries and I watched one on Netflix called Surviving Death. Oh. And it just, the first episode is all these people who had near-death experiences. I love that. It's apparently, like, after you have a near-death experience, your life has really changed. It's almost like doing an ayahuasca trip, like, because people who are, like, atheists, you know, religious, regardless, this one girl drowned for, like, 30 minutes.

She was gone. And she has these memories of, like, looking onto herself, seeing certain family members, them telling her, like, you're not ready. And then they show, like, four other different stories that are similar. One woman knew she was going to die during her pregnancy. She, and everyone's like, you're crazy. She dies for, like, 14 minutes and sees everything in the room. And when she wakes up, she tells them, like, I know exactly, like, what things you did.

And they were, like, there was no way she could have seen it, because it was, like, behind. It was honestly insane, but there was, like, a beautiful part about it where you're like, oh, my God, maybe. That's insane. Yeah, just surviving death stuff. I wonder if this is a subreddit, because now I'm, like, I want to do a whole episode on this. Oh, my God. There has to be a subreddit.

I'm surviving death. They're near-death experiences. Yeah. A lot of people are talking about that show. Yeah. There's a lot of, like, afterlife reincarnation. Surviving death only has 466 members. But maybe it'll, it'll perk up a little bit.

What do they have for near-death experiences in terms of subreddits? 14,000 members. I wonder what kind of weird stories they have. See you next time. I know. You're welcome to come back. You could take it too. No, when's your next, uh, elatron?

Whenever you want, babe. I have too much fun doing this show. Okay, one last one for you then. Okay. Trouble in paradise. Am I the asshole for telling my mother-in-law I want to fuck her son? So my 28 female husband, 31 male, had to spend two months in a different state for work. He came back nine days ago.

I am obviously thrilled he's back, and I've missed him a lot. I was hoping we would be able to spend some time together just the two of us. However, his mom, 56 female, came over when he was supposed to come home. I was slightly annoyed, but I know she was just excited for her son to be back. However, she never left. Like, I was prepared to deal with her being there for a day or two, but no, nine days. She's been here for nine days, and we haven't had a second of time together. She insists on staying here instead of a hotel.

For the record, she lives only an hour away. The guest room is right next to ours, and the walls are thin. When the two of us go out, she comes with us, or makes one of us stay with her, because otherwise we would be, quote, bad hosts. She follows us around the house constantly. We want to cuddle and watch movies. She's sitting on the armchair. We want to go to a romantic restaurant.

Better make that table for three. We have even left her in the living room to go chat in our room, and she follows us in. Earlier today, I just asked her to leave, even though both of us have been hinting that she needs to go. She kept saying she wasn't ready to go yet and wanted more time with her son. I tried telling her we wanted some alone time, and she kept insisting that she'll join us. Finally, I snapped and said, quote, Since you seem to be oblivious, I will put this bluntly.

I want to fuck your son. If you don't want to see or hear, then you need to leave. I know this isn't the classiest response ever, but I was frustrated. Anyway, she yelled at me, but eventually left. We finally got to have our alone time, but now she is blowing up both our phones. She is saying that I am disgusting and have no respect for her, her son, or myself. She keeps telling my husband that he shouldn't be with someone so crude, and how dare he let me speak to her like that.

I'm sure you get the idea. I know what I said was really inappropriate, so am I the asshole? Were mistakes made? Absolutely. Do I think you're an asshole? Absolutely not. I love this. I love it.

She could have said, we want to try to have a child. You could have lied a little. Make it more grandma-friendly. Exactly. But I also wonder, though, make him do it. I am a firm believer that you handle your family of origin. It's on you to set the boundaries. It's on you to tell people they're overstaying their welcome.

Yeah, if my mom's the one that we're having an issue with, I will handle my mom. But I was worried, though, that she was going to be like, I want to fuck your son. And the mom's like, I'll watch. Like, I don't know. The mom has no boundaries. None. I honestly, I think at a certain point, if he's not willing to say it,

which she does have an edit that says, after reading these comments, I will definitely let my husband know he needs to step up. I agree that it should have been him who made her leave. I love him to death and want to be accommodating to his fear of making her angry. And then she's nasty when she's angry and will turn his whole family against him, which that is giving me, and I take a shot. I'm saying enmeshment people, but definitely some enmeshment there where she's got a clear lack of boundaries.

The family kind of bows down to her, you don't piss off mommy because mommy rules the rules. So she was actually trying to protect him by taking the heat on that. I see that. I get that. So I'm kind of at the point where she's kind of reaping what she's sowing by overstaying. You're dropping hands. You're trying to get her to leave.

I don't care if you have to go in there and actually fuck, but like I would go in there and at least make it seem like it, like bounce the bed a little, maybe play some porn noises. I don't think the mom would be uncomfortable. I think she would have left. And then I think she would have had a mental breakdown and pulled similar shenanigans. Yeah, but you wouldn't be as villainous because you didn't yell at her. We're in our home.

We're in our home. Sorry. We thought you were sleeping. We thought you were sleeping. Yeah. I'm so sorry. We didn't realize the walls were so thin. Just blast porn whenever she goes to sleep.

I'm going to do it for some neighbors I have here. They are horrendous. What do they do? Just stomp all day. Yesterday I'm sitting in here editing and they're just screaming. You're like they're professional stompers. They are. I'm surprised you haven't gotten a show today.

Oh my God. What time is it? They're coming home from school soon. Oh my God. Just wait. Just, just wait. It is, it is again, like it's like full circle to the beginning where the moms kind of feel like they're still my little boy.

Yeah. And you can't tell me anything, but I, they said there was like dropping hints. I wonder how subtle the hints were. How clear. Because I hope there were steps before that happened, even though like I'm, I'm all about an explosion that ends with an F bomb. I love it. But also I don't like that she's getting slut shamed after.

I don't, I hate that. You, you do not deserve. You're disgusting. You don't respect yourself cause I'm fucking my husband. Ma'am. You're doing it every way you're supposed to do it. Like no sex before marriage. Okay.

You fucked your husband. Obviously. I think this is, I wish I was a fly on the wall for this moment. I know. I want an update on this. Like I want more updates. Yeah. Stop comment on this one.

This lady is trying to break up your marriage. Keep your husband on your side and make sure you're a united front on responses. And then someone else goes, she needed to go home nine days ago after coming for dinner. She lives an hour away, not on the other side of the world. There is zero reason for a healthy and sober person to stay in your home when theirs is only an hour away. And your spouse was only out of town for two months. Does she normally see him every day?

Just coffee. It gives me a lot of anxiety. You know how sometimes when people come visit you, how like you can't tell them to leave or if you throw a party, you can't just be like, guys, it's so much easy for you to leave someone else's place. Oh yeah. And I could see why she snapped because your social battery is getting weird. You want to do the normal routine things that calm you down, but there's someone in your

space. Yeah. And it's also his mom. So you have to be like on your best fucking behavior. So she, she couldn't handle it anymore. No. I have like a rule for guests. Like, and I've never ever told a guest this, like I would never, but it's like, you kind

of have like the fish rule. How long could you leave a fish out before it would start to smell? Oh, that is the most Midwest shit you've ever said. And that's how I feel about guests. Like if you have been in my house so long to the point of you needing to do laundry because you stink or you just, you need laundry because you've worn all your fucking underwear. Yeah. It's time to go.

Oh, for sure. It's time to go. For sure. Wow. That's, yeah, like coming from New York, I've never even thought how long it takes for a fish to smell. I feel like New York kind of smells like fish. Yeah.

Which is everything smelling. New York is stinky. I love it though. Yeah. Yeah. I had some good experiences there. I'm also a little annoyed that like everything is about moms, but it's also like, maybe because dads just don't do anything.

Yeah. There are a lot of scapegoating dads out there. I mean, the amount of stories I read on Reddit of like guys posting, am I the asshole for not babysitting my child? It's like, it's not babysitting when it's your kid, dude. My podcast Giggly Squad, we love our dads a lot. Like they're our best friends, but we joke how like the family would not run if it was solely them.

No, no chance. And we were like, I was like, message your dad and see what your, and ask him what your birthday is. And he knew like the day and I go ask the year and he fucked it up and I'm like, that's the most dad's shit ever. We're going to put mine on the spot after this. Oh my God. I wonder.

I'm so curious. Full birthday. Because you know, your mom like knows your blood type and your birth certificate should pull it right out. Your dad is like, which one are you again? Oh, my mom knows all the weight, six pounds, seven ounces, you were born at 11, 10 AM. But I guess sometimes the moms go a little far, but it sounds like what we learned is a little boundaries are a good thing.

But how do kicking people out is so hard. It is very difficult. I do like her. I'm like that too. Like I would probably be like, look, I have to have so much diarrhea right now and I'm so embarrassed, but I feel like I need you to leave. Yeah. That was one of my best times in New York public bathroom at a park.

Oh hell yeah. It was so challenging to find a bathroom there. I ate at this like amazing Italian place on the Upper East Side and I started walking away and I literally got too far from the restaurant. I was like, I was sweating. Like I was sweating. I was like, Justin, this isn't going to be good, but it was great because I went into a public bathroom and went to a park there and another lady ran in after me and we were

just trumpets back and forth. Oh my God. What a bonding moment. It was. And I walked out and I was like, did you hear all that? And he goes, no, what happened? I was like, because you know, when someone sits next to you and you're like, oh no, I have to like wait or you flush and you go or you have to stick the toilet paper in

between your butt cheeks so you don't toot when you pee. Oh my God. I've never done that. Yeah. It helps. I guess I'm not that pro tip. This is a how to pod DIY for farting. My favorite though is when you're like, not sure if you're going to shit or fart or sharts.

I've been testing the boundaries lately. My advice is don't try to be a hero. Okay. I need to take that into consideration. I sat here the other day and I was like, that was a risky one. Wow. Don't be a hero, Morgan. My stomach was already not happy.

And I was like. You're living life on the edge. It makes you feel alive for a second. So, and this is, I haven't shit my pants yet. And I think I just need to humble myself and experience it. You haven't? Not in public. No.

I've never shit my pants ever, but I don't want to shit in public, but I want to test my limits and like, shitting in, shitting your pants in the comfortability of your own home like sounds like the ideal way to really like figure out what to avoid in public. I have multiple friends that have like shit themselves. I recently thought that it was like, it doesn't matter how successful you are, how rich you are, everyone shot their pants, but you're an anomaly. I shot my pants in yoga pants in a bodega in New York. It was a classic like I tried to fart and it was wet.

Did it leak out? Was it solid? No. It was wet. Did it leak down your legs? So because I was wearing yoga pants, it was tight. I went in whenever you go to the bathroom and have something like an event you have to do.

That's immediately when people start knocking, like it's always, so people are knocking. I took off my yoga pants. I threw out my granny panties that I was wearing and I'm a granny panty girly. Thank God you had those on. And that's okay. Caught like a diaper. Yes. So like everyone makes fun of me for wearing granny panties.

Oh, you have lines on your yoga pants. Yeah, but it is a vehicle to protect me from my IBS. So I lay it through the way and then I kind of just washed, I just washed the yoga pants, put it back on and then I was like, this is going to be a great podcast story one day. And here we are. But I do have to say one thing about hot girls and IBS as an IBS girly. Let's let ugly people have something too, you know, like hot girls already have a whole season.

I feel like, let ugly people shit themselves sometimes, it's a little selfish of us. But I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think if you feel hot, you are hot. Okay. Great. If you have IBS, that means you're hot. Exactly. Yeah. It automatically shuffles you into that group.

That makes sense. But you haven't shot yourself. So what does that mean by you? I'm not hot. I'm not hot. Oh my God. Only when you cry. Shit their pants.

Only when you cry. That's it. Where can people find you? Follow me on TikTok, kind of burn our Instagram. I do stand up comedy. I'm going to be in Wisconsin. Oh my God. Are you going to be in Minnesota?

I'm working on it. Not a day yet. But girl, I'll let you know. But I'm going to be in LA in August. When's your Wisconsin one? I think September or October. Damn it. I was going to say, we have a show August 18th in Minnesota.

We could do back to back. Oh my God. Let me look into that. Oh my God. It would be so fun to do a little bar crawl. Wait. Yeah. Or we just do like a state fair live show.

Oh. Wait. Don't even tease me about it because I'm there in a second. I think we should. Let's see if we can get a booth. Yeah. And then we'll have like, oh my God. Yeah.

Just like fried Oreos everywhere and make the girlies eat it. And then they shard themselves. You have to poop yourself for a prize. You give a hot take and then you take a hot dog. I don't know. Oh my God. This is genius. I'm from Portland and I have a podcast called Giggly Squad, which is very funny.

We just make fun of everything. And then Burning in Hell is my mental health comedy podcast. I love it. I will be sure to link all of Hannah's socials in the description. I did go on her show Burning in Hell. Yes. So depending on timing, the link for that episode will be in the description as well. I will have it out when this is out.

Okay. Otherwise, I also found a way I can start featuring other people's videos on my YouTube channel. Cool. So it'll also be on the YouTube channel when it comes out too. That's awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. You're amazing.

No, thank you for coming on. That was the most Minnesota thing ever. No. No. Jesus Christ. Oh yeah. Until next time guys. Bye.

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