Two Hot Takes - 76: Take em' w/ a Grain of Salt.. Ft. Therapy Gecko

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin Thunstrom and Lyle aka the Therapy Gecko! These stories were all over the place to really give Lyle a proper introduction.. so take them all with a grain of salt.. ESPECIALLY the last story! **First story starts at the 5:24 minute mark** LIVE SHOW TICKETS!!! Moment House Live Stream Tickets: Momenthouse.com/THT In person Minnesota tickets: https://concerts.livenation.com/event/06005CDEA5B32000 Partners: Thuma: Thuma.co/TAKES Babbel: Babbel.com/THT Lumi Labs: Microdose.com and use code: THT ZocDoc: ZocDoc.com/THT BLACK COLLAGE HOODIE / Merch: https://fanjoy.co/collections/twohottakes Patreon for Bonus stories & your own "What's in the Box?!" special merchandise at https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

Looking for the perfect low-rate credit card? Cypress Credit Union's got you covered. Open a new Visa Platinum card and pay 0% interest for the first six months on all purchases and balance transfers. With low rates and no hidden fees, this card's a great solution for all your spending needs. Get your Visa Platinum card today at CypressCU.com. I want to start off by thanking you for letting us be green with you today. Yes. Oh, I'm honored that you guys would be green, man. How does it feel to be getters?

Like, just I feel complete. A bucket list item got checked off. I feel, yeah, I feel, you know, lost. Lost? How do you feel lost? I just feel like I'm just having an experience I've never had before and it's quite warm. How often do you have new life experiences at this point in your life? I guess if we go ultra specific, maybe once a week.

Once a week you try something new. Yeah, like I take a different route to get here. Okay. So are you adverse to change? I think in some ways, maybe. I think everyone is a little bit, but I'm also not afraid of change. I think change excites me. I think that's why I'm in the career.

I am just because it feels like every day is so different and so unpredictable and you don't know if tomorrow you're going to be bankrupt or have a number one song. So yeah, change is good. And then that like the stress of that, does that keep you going? I think so. Do you still have a lot of, is there a lot of messages in your music? Are you trying to say stuff? I mean sometimes, but more we're trying to write the song that the artist is trying to write.

Oh, okay. So are you like your producer? Right, your producer. Okay, cool. So you write songs for other people? Yeah, we like help them figure out what song they want to write. Does any part of you wish that you were like the guy? I mean, we do have our own artist project too.

So we definitely take that role sometimes, but it's not like the weekend walks in and I'm like, well, I mean anyone would want to be the weekend, huh? I don't know if being the weekend, would you want to be the weekend? I don't know. I think it'd be cool for about a month. I'm sure that we're not keyed into, like there's probably a lot of things about being the weekend that we're just not keyed into. For sure.

Justin, I feel like I just listened to you. You got like therapy geckos. Oh, no, I felt it. Did you feel it? I felt like, I felt this mojo. I'm like, and this is why he's called the therapy gecko. You're just like these like little questions, you're just pulling out of him like, yeah. It was like therapy.

Yeah. You know what's funny is like just in my sort of day-to-day life, I'll just be like talking with someone and they'll be like, are you doing therapy gecko right now? Are you doing the thing? I'm like, this is just how I talk. I'm a little bit invasive. I like it. Naturally.

I like it. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Justin. And I'm a gecko. Well, I guess we're all geckos. I'm Lyle.

This is Lyle, otherwise known as the therapy gecko. I've been stalking Lyle on TikTok for quite some time now. It's been a while. It's been a while, but Lyle gets these callers and they're just going through some stuff. One girl, one that really sticks with me. And it fits the vibe of this show because we do come across it, but she found out she was dating her like brother. Yeah.

That one was bad, but Lyle gets crazy call-ins and then just, you know, he likes to talk people through it. Like you just heard with Justin, he therapies them. Maybe this is a tangent, but how often do you think the people on your show, these stories are lying? You wonder, you do wonder. I think a lot of them are true though. I really believe like these people are being pretty honest because I know the stuff that's

gone down in my family. No, right. I feel like if some of these are fake, these people would be scriptwriters. They would be writing shows and movies because I mean, it's cliche, but some of the stuff you truly can't make up. Like it just is so bizarre and just so complex. I agree. I get that question about my callers a lot too.

Like are they fake? And I'm with you guys. I think most of these are real, but even if, here's the other thing, even if they're not real, we experience them as real. We take them as that face value and so whether, you know, whether or not they happened, it's irrelevant to our discussion of them. True. Exactly.

You're going to fit right in here. I'm stoked. They're going to love you. Okay. Let's dive in. Okay. Am I the asshole for going off on my husband and his mom for taking slash keeping my used pregnancy test?

I, female 27, found out that I was pregnant recently. My husband, male 34, and his family are beyond happy and excited. From what I heard, my husband was married two times before, but couldn't have kids for 10 years. This is obviously a huge deal for his family because his mom will be a first time grandma with this baby. They threw a celebration dinner for us and as his mom and I were talking about the baby, she told me about how she has already started, quote, making memories by saving keepsakes

of her grandbaby. I felt a bit confused and asked if my husband bought something for the baby and then gave it to her. She said, no, but he did bring her my used pregnancy test and gave it to her to store as a memory of the news of her grandbaby's existence. I was floored. I looked at my husband like, did you really do that? And he nodded while smiling, not going to lie.

I felt creeped out, disgusted and very uncomfortable. After the initial shock, I just went off on both of them calling what they did creepy and disgusting and highly violating. My husband argued that it was not a huge deal. He just grabbed the test once I got rid of it, put it in a plastic bag and gifted it to his mom as a keepsake. I told him and made me feel violated and creeped out because the test had my literal pee on it.

His mom said something about taking care of the smell and I lashed out even more and demanded they get rid of it, but they kept arguing, calling me controlling. Brother-in-law asked me to calm down, but I decided to just grab stuff and go home. My husband started arguing about how all of this was just an overreaction and said that I ruined his and his family's joy by how I behaved after finding out about the pregnancy test. He said for him and his mom, it's all about the baby, but I somehow made the whole thing about me and hurt their feelings in the process, but that was my literal pee on that test and

I just couldn't help flip out even if it ruined their joy for the news. Did I overreact? Can I ask you guys a macro question that I feel like is relevant to what you guys do on here in general? Yeah. How important are intentions and people's actions when you're judging them? I do take it into consideration, but someone can have the best intentions and still come across like a huge asshole.

So I just take it story by story. Yeah. I think I just pretend like my friend is telling me this story that just happened to them and how I would naturally react. And so it's just kind of like, sometimes it's like, wait, what? You did what? Yeah. Or like, you know, just how you'd chat with your friend.

I don't know. What do you guys think on this one? No way. No way. Did you get my P-Stick and gave it to your mom, that'd be so weird? So that's where I'm curious, is there the issue here, does it lie within the fact of keeping the test or the gifting of the test? Because I bet you there's a good amount of people that keep that thing.

100%. I think it's cute if you personally keep the stick you peed on, but to give it to your mom? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he should have asked. The reason I break up the intention thing is because, you know, she said her husband was like smiling at her, so like in his mind, he's like, oh, I'm doing like a cute gesture,

she's going to love this, and it just didn't occur to him for whatever reason, it didn't pop into his brain, but it would be weird. So, you know, is he like, and I do wonder like how he reacted, and I don't know if it says it in the story, but when she brought up like, hey, I felt violated, like I'm letting you know that this was a violation, I do wonder how he reacted to that. If he said, oh, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I was trying to be cute, but I fucked up, or if he denied it, and he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm still doing the right thing.

Yeah. That's kind of how, you know, she says they were, they kind of flipped it on her and said, I lashed out even more, demanded they get rid of it, but they just kept arguing, calling me controlling. That's stupid. And then basically kind of like flipping it on her, saying it was an overreaction, and that she had just ruined his family's joy. That's weird.

For me, this is not as much about what happened, it's about the handling of what's happening now. It's the communication between the two, which is the big like relationship flag. But beyond that, it's bringing up this, I remember when I first got my positive COVID test, I was like, because I was the guy that never wanted to get it, kind of the I am legend thing. And then when I have grandkids one day, it's like, oh, what was your, what was COVID like? And I'm like, I never got that.

But so I had to cross this bridge when I got a positive test to where I had to realize that would not be the case. And so I completely flipped to this perspective where I wanted to almost take my positive test and frame it. And then when I have those grandkids, they'll be like, oh, what was it like? I'll be like, I survived that shit. Look. Dude, I wonder if like in a museum, is there like a positive test for like the plague or

something like that? See? That would be kind of sick. No, I saw it. No, it's like, no, think about like a hundred like years and years and years from now in the future, like a positive COVID test, like that's like an artifact or something like it could be worth something to hand down to your kids. Oh my God.

Well, did you see everyone was sharing their grandparents like polio vaccine cards when like, when we started coming up with vaccine cards and people were like, they're going to like control us with the vaccine cards. And people were like, they already did this. Like my grandpa had a polio vaccine card, like we, we been there. We did this. Hmm. Hmm.

Did he also, the weird thing about the pregnancy test is how did, okay, so she pees on it. Yeah. And then from that moment, how does it wind up into his hands? There must be a weird like. He took it out of the trash. Oh, did it say that? He took it out of the trash. Yeah.

He took that little thing out of the trash. Are we, are we super surprised that some guy gave his, what's it, his mother-in-law? Yeah. Gave his mother-in-law. No, his mom. His mom, the pregnancy test. Are we super shocked by this? I'm not.

Is this not shocking? One of the tough things about doing this with the stories is that I wish I could ask for follow up questions to these people. Cause I want to know, I want to dive really deep into what this guy's relationship is like with his mom. Yeah. That's, that's. I wonder if this is the first, is this the first conflict involving something with the

mother-in-law or is there a history of, cause maybe, you know, when he's talking about the talking about she's overreacting or maybe her strong reaction, I don't, I don't know what happened before this that could have, this could, this could, maybe I've just spent a little thing to her, but maybe there was things beforehand with the mother-in-law and he's got, she's gone like, you really shit with your mom is creeping me out. True. I don't like it. I think you're on to something there.

And I will say, I think there might be evidence to support that by the fact that he's 34 and has now been married three times. 34 married three times. Like, I think we're dealing with a little bit of a mama's boy here who has very unhealthy boundaries with his mother. Sure. And I think that might, the math is math in there and you know, that's, that's why he did all this.

So overall vote on this one, not the asshole. The top comment with a lot of awards and 48,000 upvotes. I think I see why at 34, you're his third wife, not the asshole. And so the next one goes, I'm getting incubator vibes, which basically like, like they're so excited about the baby, like she just looks at the wife, not as the mother, not as the mother of my grandchild, not as really my son's wife and partner. You're just the incubator that you're the, the means to the, what's that saying? It means to the end.

Yeah. That one where it's just, she's just an incubator. It's just her way of getting a grand baby. Yeah. That's weird. All of his past wives, those other two, they were infertile. You're just a little, little bun oven baker. I guess that is what her like primal brain would be thinking.

Yeah. Next comment, blessed to be the fruit. Blessed to be the fruit. What does that mean? Handmaid's tale reference. I've never seen that. Oh God. Is that a book or a movie?

It is a book by Margaret Atwood and has now become a TV show where oddly the main actress is in Scientology, which is kind of like a, huh, that's ironic because it's about a cult that like harvest the, the fertile women and then breeds them to these men. It's real, real, great, great show, creepy as fuck, feels really real, feels like it could happen, like we're on the brink, but it's just crazy, crazy, okay. Up next for us, am I the asshole for not allowing my girlfriend to take dangerously hot showers? I've been dating my girlfriend for eight months.

Things have been going so well that when she started a project based in my part of the city, she decided to stay at my place temporarily rather than do the daily commute. I noticed that when she showers, she has the water so hot that the steam billows from the bathroom when she opens the door. It leaves everything in the bathroom wet. I've been telling her to use the dehumidifier in the bathroom as she showers. She told me that she showers with the window open and turns it on afterwards because the air was too humid for the dehumidifier.

I put my foot down and told her it wasn't optional and she ended up breaking the dehumidifier with the steam. I told her that enough was enough and that if there's no dehumidifier when she showers, then she's going to have to shower at a normal temperature like everyone else does. When she comes out of the bathroom, her skin is red. What she did instead was she started locking herself in the bathroom while the steam dissipated so I wouldn't catch her turning my bathroom into a fucking sauna. Is it sauna?

It's a little Minnesota right there. Sauna? How to finish versus English, this is what I need guys. So in Finnish, this is it as sauna. Wow. Okay. Okay. There we go.

I'm still going to say sauna. Yeah, you're the only person in the entire U.S. that's going to say it that way. But it won't hopefully get me yelled at from my Finnish family, which is the most important part. Turns my bathroom into a fucking sauna. Well, last week I had enough of it. I took the lock off the bathroom door. The toilet is in a separate room, so there's still complete privacy when using the toilet

by the way. Now, she can't steam out my entire bathroom without me knowing. I knock before entering and make sure it's not too steamy in the bathroom and that the temperature of the water is normal. She hasn't said anything about it, but since I did that, her mood has been low with me. She started spending weekends at her place and she's slowly been taking her stuff with her. I told her that I didn't do it to be nasty, but the hot showers were damaging my bathroom

and probably her health too. She just says, okay, and it's fine. Am I the asshole? He's juggling two different intentions. There's the one where he's saying like, and I'm trying to figure out which one is the more important one to him because there's the thing of she's damaging my bathroom, but then there's also the thing of she's damaging her health. With the damaging her health thing, to what degree?

It's like if you have a partner who is making whatever bad decision for their health, it's like you do what you can to encourage them to make better decisions for yourself for themselves. On a day, you only have so much control over other people's lives and choices and you have to accept that, but as far as his bathroom, that's his motherfucking bathroom. She's got to respect his bathroom as much as he's got to respect her choices. That is his security deposit on the line. Yeah.

Yeah. The only time this would start to bother me, I guess, is like, well, I mean, you got to use waterproof paint in your bathroom. I think that's pretty clear. But besides that, if there was starting to be black mold, Morgan has this habit of showering in this exact same fashion, but I've never once worried about her health. What is it going to do to you? Nothing.

I like to go in the hot tub at 106. I would turn up higher if I could. This, I don't know what this is going to do to you, dehydrate you, make your, I don't know. Nothing. I'm sure the saunas are hotter. Like an actual sauna gets so hot. I just, that's thrown me off the whole sauna thing, but, um, I, sure, I, no, you're the

asshole. I will, I will say it is extremely controlling to like take the lock off the bathroom door and then like, I like, he's a shower police. He's like knocking and then what's the water temperature at? I can't trust you to shower on your own. Like, it's, it's like, it's treating her like a toddler. Yeah. Well, that's the thing that I'm trying to reckon with two things here is that you can't control

her decisions. Is that what's the thing? Is it your, is it her health or is it that she's fucking up your shag? So it's her health. Like, like I said, you can only do so much to control other people, but, uh, if it's he's genuinely concerned about his security deposit, that's what I would want to figure out from this guy is what's, what's actually bothering you. Yeah.

So this bathroom doesn't have a fan. It doesn't sound like it. I hate bathrooms that don't have fans. Why is that even a thing? It is interesting, but some don't have the ducts to hold a fan, but there is ductalist fans because we have one at my farmhouse. So I know that that's a thing. So the top comment on this one, you're the asshole.

Bathrooms with showers should be able to handle steam. If it can't, that's a facility problem, not your girlfriends for now problem. Seriously though, get a window fan and let the woman boil herself alive. And so someone else goes for real. While I've damaged all my bathroom furniture with my pechant for boiling myself alive, my bathroom itself is fine. I literally boil three pots of water to put in my tub because my hot water heater doesn't get hot enough.

I cut it with cold water until it's cool enough to tolerate, but it's still dangerously hot. It generates a lot of steam with the window open in the winter. High heat and steam help my migraines tremendously though. And so someone else is like kind of being a Debbie Downer and goes, causes a lot of mold and mildew cleanup in the long run. Look, that's a legitimate position to take. If it does cause a lot of mold and mildew, that's why I'm sorry I keep coming back to this, but if this guy is legitimately concerned about his shower gathering mold and mildew.

But if I had to make my guess and I don't like to do this with people because I don't know, I wish I could talk to the guy and get it out of him, but he might be more concerned with the control. So do you have some comments that might highlight things for you? Please. So someone commented, you're the asshole, absolutely. Are you this controlling in every other aspect of your relationship? And so OP goes, no, just the aspects that damage my property.

Someone replies, the bathroom getting humid and wet isn't damaging it any more than anything else. That's literally what the room is designed for as long as you let it air out afterwards. It's fine. Normal wear and tear from years of showers is going to happen regardless, so you can't stop it. And OP goes, oh wow, thank you for that incredible advice. I didn't realize that the drywall coming off the walls in pieces in the last three weeks

didn't start because that was the time my ex moved in and started having scolding hot showers with no dehumidifier twice a day. It's because of 10 years of wear and tear that are suddenly becoming apparent now. What would the world do without a little know-it-all like you? Man, everyone on the internet is so angry all the time. Everyone writing the post, commenting on the post. Oh my God. And so the next comment, X, A. So she did break up with you.

Good on her. Boom. Yeah. I mean, you knew that the minute she started taking small batches of her shit. Oh yeah. So that's it ended with him then breaking up. They're done. Okay.

That sounds like it worked out for everyone. Yeah. It does. I mean, he's in his bathroom and she can take all the hot showers she wants. Yeah. Sometimes it's a good thing when people, when just relationships don't work out. I know. It's a blessing in disguise.

Why'd you break up? Oh, you know, she's taken two hot of showers. Very petty reason. Yeah. If like that was it for them, like just the shower thing. But I mean, it does sound like this was like quite the problem, which would lead me to believe that they didn't use the proper paint because the walls around the shower are currently flaking off in chunks.

I've lived here three months before she moved in and it's only been a problem since she's been here. And then just like, oh, he commented a shit ton. I care because the plaster in the bathroom is damp and literally peeling off the walls. You know, I respect anyone who like tries to like form a relationship of any kind. You know, it's hard. You have your own like, everyone has their own like weird stuff and, you know, when you try to invite someone else into your life and get along with them, it's a big attempt.

I respect you guys for doing it. Yeah. Three and a half years. That's pretty good. It's working out. Not bad. No, it's not bad. And people, I got asked the other day, I was like, what's your biggest fight?

I'm like, I don't know. Honestly, we haven't had too many, just like probably me meltdowns. Like one time I shattered my phone on the street when I was really drunk and that felt like the world was ending. That was no fight though. No, no, no. That's why I said me, my meltdowns, I have meltdowns sometimes. You know, all of these on my, the asshole posts, they all involve like relationships

with other people. Yeah. And it's, you ever go to r slash forever alone? No, but it's on my list now. Wily, if you ever like are depressed, go to r slash forever alone, you'll feel way better about your life. Oh my gosh. And it's interesting to go.

It's interesting you go to this subreddit. Yeah. And you're like, I invite other people into my life. I attempt to have relationships with other human beings. Here's the conflict that I'm experiencing as a result of that. And then you go to forever alone and you go, I have isolated myself. I have no interactions with other people, and therefore no conflict, but I have severe loneliness and you go, whatever you decide to do, whether you want to be alone or whether

you want to be with other people, there's conflict involved. There's no easy way through this thing called life. It is work. Relationships, relationships are fucking work. Communication is hard as shit. Like even my mom loved her to pieces, but she surprised me the other day. She did me a favor. I sent her to a brewery to go get me and Justin Beer, apparently in Minnesota.

You can't buy beer on Sundays after 6 p.m. And so she went down there for nothing and she went to the store next across the street from this little craft district and she bought $45 worth of ice cream. Really? And I just didn't know. And so I looked at my credit card and I was like, I go, what, you bought $45 worth of ice cream? Like, why didn't you tell me?

And it was a nice gesture, but I just would have liked the communication and we just, you know, it just, it was a surprise that I wasn't expecting. You ever eaten $45 of ice cream in a day? No, but it sounds like an exe-zill or something. Well, now we need to try it. Man, you guys should do a forever alone episode. You're going to come back for it? I would love to.

Okay. Stories are going to be, they're going to be way less cute to be, you know, it's depressing. So I have an episode right now I'm building. It's called Dark. Okay. What is it? Just dark stories. Like stories.

How dark are we talking? Like really, really dark. Like heavy dark. Okay. Get some green when you go green with Cypress Credit Union from now through the end of May when you open a dream checking account with direct deposit and e-statements. We'll give you $50 and donate $50 to Tree Utah's Community Tree Planning Program. To open your account or for more information, visit us today at CypressCU.com.

Cypress Credit Union, your future is our future. That really ensured by NCUA. Moving away from am I the asshole? Today I fucked up by passing gas while wearing a butt plug, then screaming at my boss. So recently my partner, 32 male and I, 27 female, started experimenting with anal play. Nothing too crazy. I purchased some anal training butt plugs that are smaller sizes and meant to help you work up to actually wearing a plug.

They come in three sizes and are made of a soft silicone. The idea is to get your muscles used to relaxing enough to let objects inside. I started small, of course, with no issue and moved up to the second size rather recently. I was chatting with my partner and he suggested some kink-adjacent activities like wearing my plug in public. I was thrilled with the idea and got on board right away. I'm dumb and thought wearing it to work would be a good plan. So yesterday morning I got all lubed up, slipped in my Tier 2 plug and finished getting ready

for work. Driving to work I had no issue as the Tier 2 was quite comfortable. Let's just say I got pretty busy at work and completely forgot I was plugged. So about two hours goes by. I'm sitting at my desk and I felt my tummy rumble in that familiar way so I discreetly tried to pass gas as one does. A small push didn't release the pent-up pressure. No problem.

I looked around to see if anyone else was in my office and discovered I was alone. So I figured why not rip a big one. I learned the lesson that pushing out a big tooth while plugged will launch said plug into your underpants causing you to panic thinking you just shit your pants. Then you'll get up from your desk chair to quickly stumble a little then fall right as your boss walks in. Then as he rushes to help you up you'll scream, don't come any closer. Trying to spare him from the sight of you thinking you shit your pants when in actuality

you just pushed your plug out. Then you'll have to run to the bathroom mortified still thinking you shit your pants and screamed at your boss only to realize it isn't nearly as bad as you thought and you had a huge overreaction. I definitely was relieved there was no accident but I couldn't leave the bathroom for ten minutes out of sheer embarrassment. Needless to say I will never be wearing a plug in public again. If you're my boss please know I am so sorry for a very confusing Tuesday morning. I don't understand.

Have you guys ever used a butt plug? Yeah. I don't understand it because of every other orifice your ear like when you get sick and your ears get stuffy and your nose gets started like if someone's covering very unpleasant experience. Yeah. I don't understand what pleasure is derived from plugging your ass. I understand you know people who like you know having things inserted into their asshole

and stuff but like just plugging it I don't get why you would do that. Yeah long term plug I'm not sure I'm a very gassy person as well so I don't think. But if you're gassy why it just doesn't make sense. No I haven't used a long term plug. I have this little like bead that vibrates it's just a little little guy so I like that I like using that like during sex and like playing with stuff. If it vibrates that makes sense to me but if it's just a little plug it makes sense. Yeah.

I don't know maybe the plug pushes on the like if it's a guy you know the G spots in the prostate so. I've just never thought of it in the context of okay I'm going to get my car and drive to work and have this all day. You know what I'm saying. It was a long term. Like maybe a quick excursion like oh I'm going to you know go out to the store and this might be fun but to sit at work all day.

It was too long of a commitment that I don't understand. Yeah. Yeah even like I don't know I wouldn't want to walk around just like like I guess like if you're in the bedroom like anything but I wouldn't want to just walk around with something in my ass just like going throughout my day. Yeah. But you know this is you know everyone should feel free to do whatever they want but I guess it just doesn't make sense for me.

So this person they farted their butt plug out. I don't like the idea that I can't go about my natural bodily functions because they're my like like if it's in the same way that you know I wouldn't want my nose and my mouth plugged up if I were trying to breathe I wouldn't want my ass plugged up if I were trying to fart. Yeah that's the thing I think it's very inconvenient. So the issue is the fact of how she responded to the boss wanting to care for her. No issues here I think just well yeah that's where the problem really is is like a reaction

to that which in a panic situation when I guess you think you've shot yourself you would tend to react poorly to people you know the last thing you want is someone coming up to you and helping you or yeah whatever so people act differently out of extreme embarrassment or panic. Now I wonder what this woman does she have a relationship with her boss that is I don't know what she does for a living or sort of what the work environment is like but does she potentially have a relationship with her boss where she could just be like listen man I had a butt plug in just now and because it looks like if I if I if I like have employees

or whatever and my employee was like I have a butt plug in I'm like I don't as long as you get done whatever I hide you know yeah I'm the same yeah well yeah but but from knowing what I know of both of you you're very open people yeah there and again from being on on this show and reading these stories and from the stories you get we talk about a lot there's not a ton out there that really surprises you sure you're not like oh my god what but if this guy is a CPA when you start to think about other people think of people your parents age or just out there most people when you tell them that wouldn't just be like oh yeah you know you be you they'd be like you're doing what you like you're fired man isn't

awesome to like fucking have like a podcast like you don't have to give a fuck about anyone you know no one on this shit I do I do sometimes lose the perspective of people you know yes you're saying my parents age who are not just like hearing people talk about butt plugs and sex and all this crazy shit all the time yeah you're you're you're right to think of it in that perspective yeah so if that were your boss now and you know that your boss you know wouldn't react so openly what's your strategy here well get a new job run we do have an edit okay oh he goes I did apologize to my boss for screaming at him and made an excuse about tummy issues he was super chill and brushed it off like it was no big deal

thank god I didn't have to deal with my plug actually falling out of my pants that's not something I considered I I don't have a lot of experience with butt plugs so I'm not having trouble sort of wrapping my head around the anatomy of the situation she does give pictures of the ones she purchased really can we see yeah that looks fucking huge we we need like a quarter we need a quarter next to it she was only on the size two though I think it's that's that's too looks huge no go to the sizes there's definitely some dimensions here sizes vary from 0.75 to 1.25 inches wide that's why the fuck the widest is 4.75 inches long no long wide okay okay but five inches up up your ass so that's pretty long five but I was

thinking about the width 1.25 inches why a lot but holes are tiny man well and depends on how tight your anal sphincter is too like some people's don't stretch that far you know what this woman um you know she seems like are you kind of impressed now yeah I'm impressed I think she should get a raise I don't know what she does but she should get a raise I agree yeah I don't think she fucked up at all I think she took a chance and I think there the her experience in taking a chance was rocky along the way but I think she learned something and I think that she will come back stronger oh yeah I don't think there's any negatives here I think at the end of the day falls out it didn't fall out onto the floor positive make the perfect stomach excuse the

boss easy guys move on here we are yeah it's very happy ending as far as these stories go usually this stuff is tell we don't when people call my show and they talk about relationships um it's really hard because I don't you know I mean with these you can't even talk to them you're just like sort of reading what they've presented and it's like it's hard to because with someone's like I've been married to this person for 10 years and it's like okay now you have to sum up like you know I have to make a decision about your 10 year long relationship using the like paragraph of information you have here and it's like who the fuck am I even if it's the most horrible paragraph it's like who the fuck am I to be like you know with their having been 10 years

of existing context to ignore that and go you guys should break up that's crazy do you ever get like stuck on the fact you're only talking to one side too you're like yeah dude I I'm sure you guys have talked about this on here all the time because with these posts like you're reading it from their perspective and you that's the only perspective you really get right but it's hard when you don't we only get to hear one side yeah because you're like how accurate is this side everyone's everyone's writing it to make everyone's writing it with the everyone wants the not an asshole votes yeah that is true looking for the perfect low rate credit card cypress credit unions got you covered open a new visa platinum card and pay zero percent

interest for the first six months on all purchases and balance transfers with low rates and no hidden fees this card's a great solution for all your spending needs get your visa platinum card today at cypresscu.com cypress credit union your future is our future federally insured by ncu a equal opportunity lender okay well let's see on the next one if you think there even needs to be another side am i the asshole for laughing at my grandpa after he told me to quote cover up my feet so this one is fairly recent and he's still mad at me so i decided to voice the story in hopes of getting corrected if i'm wrong or something so this morning my grandparents informed me that some people would be coming over to set up a new bed frame etc since i wasn't needed i just sat

down on the sofa and minded my business i asked if i should help but i wasn't needed for context i was wearing a normal t-shirt and some leggings but no socks this will be important for later however during the visit my grandfather kept furiously pointing upstairs apparently he didn't want to tell me what i needed to do but expected me to magically know after looking at everyone wearing masks i assumed he wanted me to wear one i was pretty far away from everyone so i didn't think it was necessary so after i got up and put it on he seemed even more furious i kept asking him what he wanted me to do but he refused to speak after the guy and the girl finished building the new bed frame and left we sat down and talked a bit about the new bed what happened etc that's when i mentioned

being confused at what he wanted me to do and he promptly told me that it was vulgar for me to display my feet the way i did faced with the absurdity of the situation i laughed imagining how the two builders would say oh my god look at how hot this girl is because of her feet my grandmother then joined in laughing with me about my quote seductive feet with the power to make any man horny my grandfather however exploded saying that it was indecent and disrespectful to be at home without socks in front of strange men he's currently still mad at me for showing off my glorious feet in front of strangers so am i the asshole for laughing at my grandpa for him telling me to cover up my indecent feet i mean this guy he's from a different time he has his own

views about fucking all this shit that i don't know if they're gonna change before he dies you kind of look at him and you go listen this is how you are this is what you think whatever you're ridiculous i'm gonna laugh at you but i'm not gonna there's no changing i don't know what do you do you think that when you're however old that guy is and you have these weird views about you know women and their feet and shit like is he ever gonna change no i think grandpa's got a little bit of a foot fetish that's also totally which is totally in the cards right and which is interesting though because i feel like in the last in maybe our generation or you know the next that's when this stuff is really like it's you know it's in the limelight which i don't feel like you hear

about grandparents talking about fetishes like that no i think it's more in the we we openly talk about it now and almost embrace it sexual revolution i just would never expect a grandparent to either kind of reveal that i asked my grandma or be so sensitive to it that you're like those guys who are here in our house are definitely looking at her and that's making me uncomfortable because her feet are exposed but he's probably turned on by her feet so in his head he's like god her feet look good that's why he was always compensating with it yeah he was like he was so aroused i think that he couldn't even talk he just kept pointing up the stairs like he couldn't even talk he was so flustered by her feet

maybe he's he's probably got like a weird control thing maybe there's like boss around his his granddaughter and shit potential it's a weird thing i like that his grandma's the grandma's cool the grandma gets at the grandma's like what the fuck because he's been telling her to cover her feet for 70 years or he's not attracted to her feet and they just don't do it for him oh my god can you imagine justin's got a friend who's he's got a big foot fetish is your friend buying pictures from your friends no no he's i don't think he's on that level no but i have thought about that when i'm at your house without socks i i have wondered what does what does he think about my feet because i have been told i have cute feet

i don't i mean do you think he draws a boundary i think so he can compartmentalize my feet versus feet he likes yes and i think if it were someone that is like off limits in that sense as like a granddaughter the feet just don't of those people doesn't do it even if they were the most perfect feet in the world you you just it's unnatural yeah you wouldn't or it's like i don't know this grand prize that he's like would even reveal that because then it does give that red flag of like wait is it because you are the one not because these guys are but like why even open that door yeah this is the first time she hasn't had socks on in this house yeah it is it this couldn't possibly have been the first time this has come up and so why was it this time that was so specific

and so different maybe she's at a different age like like for someone that has a foot fetish you have this idea in your head okay that's a kid i can't look at their feet that like you know that's more pedophilia versus foot fetish so you know you have these age guidelines or whatever maybe she's crossed over the bridge of like so he so he's like okay she he's she's a kid i won't look at it but the fact that she's his granddaughter is not as much of a boundary for him or it's just the fact that he has a really strong foot fetish and he just doesn't want anyone to see them because he thinks everyone thinks the way he does or something i gotta hear the comments on this one i'm just i think i i don't know this is just so crazy so the top comment with 8 000 up votes was

now you know your grandpa has a foot fetish yep next one haha for real that's what i was thinking the whole time please only buy your grandpa foot themed items from now on um and so someone goes we haven't ruled out the option of grandpa being so enamored by opus feet that he was overtaken by emotion and couldn't speak and i will say i did not read the comments before this one right you did you were you did mention that i was i i my mind just goes down rabbit holes like i go to very dark places sometimes in my head do you often make like an assumption about the thing and and then you see that a bunch of people in the comments oh yeah like in the same sense yeah and it's really satisfying because you're like i was on

something right i feel like sherlock holmes yeah so we do have some we have some updates update why is everyone suggesting my grandfather has a foot fetish if that's true i'll start wearing socks forever oh my god update two all caps why are so many suggestions of you telling me to make an only fans account for my feet pics oh my god update three out of sheer curiosity should i open up my only fans account last update so i have decided against doing one since i don't really know many ways around cyber security and everything but to answer a few general questions one my entire family is from germany and we have a pretty lax view on how to dress mostly just dressing appropriately to my family isn't religious with me being atheist and my grandma being agnostic for example

three yes my dad has that fetish i stumbled upon his instagram i stumbled upon his instagram and he was pretty open about it huh well he was open about it what the fuck does that mean he was open about it on instagram what's he posting what is he posting what's he posting i have more questions now than i did before the updates i feel bad for this girl as she posts this story and then a bunch of people are telling her like yeah your grandfather is attracted to you yeah have have you ever had this inclination at all have you ever seen feet and thought oh that's hot no yeah so that's that's kind of where i'm at like we can all say yes there's definitely better looking feet and then like gross feet like anyone can make that assumption like that determination like well yeah but i don't

but i don't make that judgment i don't make that judgment sexually i'm just like i make that judgment aesthetically exactly and so i i don't i've never and i know can we phone a friend and i'm well i'm not saying it's just i just i've never had but i think we need to call jake and ask him uh see if what fetish guy yeah he would be very open about it we should ask like what about the feet does it i honestly don't know if he would you don't think so no i anytime but that you know that question in relation to anything what about the feet does it like is it yeah is it even an explainable well i'm sure like any sexual attraction or fetish or anything like i feel like you could i'm sure it i'm sure it definitely is and i'm not like i know there's a bunch of fetishes for all sorts of

things but i was just curious because i've never ever felt that way i've never associated it that way well you like boobs though so like what about like how it doesn't like boobs some people don't like boobs everybody loves boobs do you like boobs i do like boobs but i don't think everybody likes so like explaining like what like boobs are just like little pockets of fat with nipples on the end like what does it for you about boobs i guess i guess you wouldn't be able to explain it yeah exactly i guess it's just like a thing do you guys have any fetishes not anything exciting you know i wish i could answer that was like yeah i love to something but i do you want to share yours it's pretty it's pretty PG me yeah he's like oh you're like you didn't know that whatever

the thing is was a fetish no yours the one you have with the the things oh well sometimes like you know in the like in the sense of lingerie you know when you have like tall socks or tall lingerie that comes like up garters that's what i call yeah like i can think that's attractive but it's not like a i don't know if it's a fetish it's not like oh my god i'm gonna look at that and like i'm like like it's game time it's just it's it's not like uh i feel like sometimes fetishes are kind of um taboo well like that wouldn't necessarily make the experience that much more intense for me than not uh whereas like i think with certain fetishes it's like oh like i need it to be the certain way yeah and this person we're speaking of would not date someone and therefore never

marry someone that doesn't have in their eyes great perfect feat it is like one of the first things he will determine about a girl like he's potentially going to even go on a date with or like be serious or like you know hook up with it's good to have well-defined standards for what you look for in life for sure i don't have any that i like that come to mind i need to like go through a list of fetishes and maybe one that like i didn't know i like is on there but yeah we're pretty boring we're pretty vanilla these days you know we're getting to that like you know that you know married life all time you know just uh just kind of going through the motions did you think when i asked you to come on this show you're gonna just hear about no i'm pleasantly surprised i don't

know if it's a thing with like podcast but i think that like people who have podcasts maybe they're just more open about talking about stuff yeah well since i quit my job i've definitely become more open because i was scared i was so scared when i was still working as an ot the people at the hospital were gonna find my stuff it's the most freeing like when i hear people be like oh i'm like gonna like get become a lawyer i can't like talk about stuff like i'm afraid about like what i post on facebook to me i'm like god what a horrible way to live your life it is so strange just being able to like just put whatever out there it's amazing it's the best thing ever it's not like oh my i'm not gonna get into college if they know that i like anal or yeah like that

it's always such a bad way of living i do just want to share before we move on from the foot one have you ever seen like so sex toys wise there's like pocket pussies or flesh lights did you have you ever seen the ones that they make in the shapes of feet like that you could like fuck a foot are you about to show it to me yeah i'd love to see wait wait no no no can i just describe this so describe it first and then i'll show is there a reason you're bringing this up i just think it pertains to the story of like foot fetishes oh you don't know okay so one time this guy we've been talking about the whole time okay had a birthday coming up anyway he once had this birthday coming up and uh me and my music

partner the guy i've been talking about the whole time uh he was in a roommate with us at the time in new york and we came up with this idea and we're like jake we got you the best well i just said it again but we got you the best best birthday present and we said her name is beth and beth is going to have a great time with you on your birthday so the whole time he thought we had like found this girl or something that feed him his birthday and we actually got this sex toy and it's like a pocket pussy but it's it's too like it starts maybe from uh a few inches above the ankle down and like then into like these rubber i mean you know silicone feet and they're kind of attached up by the toes and then in the heels and then in each

like leg section i guess is like holes like a regular pocket pussy but then they're literally just like feet yeah yeah exactly it's that so on his birthday we unveiled that's not that's not for somebody with a foot fish that's for somebody who likes to kill people chop them up and have sex with that's exactly it body that's what was in our apartment that's what we named beth i'm sorry about any baths out there but we just came up with the most random name to try and trick him but yeah that lives in our apartment i like how one is a vagina and one is an asshole there this one this one this next one that was like scary like realistic for somebody who likes to fuck dead bodies like that look at the pedicure on that foot do you um what do you know what

happened to this uh beth where where where where is she now well beth definitely made the migration to la she's here and we were not i've seen it in person i have i did know about this you did at the old house though yeah we have since we're in our second house in la now i was scared shitless it was in justin's closet and this was like we had only been dating for not very long like this was moving out during covid of june 2020 july 2020 somewhere around there and we started officially dating in december of 2019 i like to say january first 2020 makes it easy my head but right 2019 definitely not the first january first not january first yeah but anyway i don't know i'm bad a mess so i like to keep things easy i was cleaning out his closet to help him pack

and i found this bag with this foot in it no it was like in a sweater it was in a bag it was in like a pillowcase or something he wrapped it up in the sweater it's definitely not something you want to put on display no no and so i was scared shitless that it was his and i put it in his room when we got back i was like do you want to tell me something i'm so glad you asked me though i was otherwise though you went straight to to reddit for relationship if i found this yeah right i was surprised i didn't go to reddit but i was scared i was like what is this and it's beth it's he put it in my room when his mom came to visit this brought something out do you do you guys ever like you do you ever even like before the podcast when you started you ever post on

any of this stuff yeah what'd you post i didn't i posted after not so much relationship advice i um i turned to coin reddit coin yeah there's like a coin collector club and stuff oh okay because you post on like okay but not like dishing out like your personal life to the internet strangers um i have some comments that have really made it up there nice trying to find someone to make a custom shirt i had an idea for a shirt that i i don't know how to sew but i want to made and then weird noise on 2021 outie a4 the car the car was making weird noises how many votes do that have um my car oh yeah yeah only four comments it didn't it didn't go far on the outie sub sub don't know what it was yeah it was like a screwdriver just bouncing around in the trunk a whole

ass screwdriver yeah damn yeah that was weird yeah have you ever posted personal stuff yeah i went i don't know most of my stuff is gecko stuff okay okay actually i have uh i think i have 45 years of gold or something like that oh my god it's from uh all the all the give now reddit gold not redeemable for anything of actual monetary value which is so sad isn't it you work so hard for that you know it's i can sleep well at night knowing that my children will have reddit gold yeah generational wealth generational wealth exactly that's what we're building over here i get looking for the perfect low rate credit card cypress credit unions got you covered open a new visa platinum card and pay zero percent interest for the first six months on all purchases and

balance transfers with low rates and no hidden fees this card's a great solution for all your spending needs get your visa platinum card today at cypresscu.com so people don't like when i talk about poop but poop story so if it's not your vibe skip i 26 female am anxious about moving in with my boyfriend 29 male because i take some really gnarly poops yes you read that correctly my boyfriend is an amazing guy that have been seen for over a year and i'm really excited that he invited me to move in with him when my current lease is up at the end of april the only problem is that i'm afraid he is going to regret his decision once he realizes that the lovely young woman he's welcome into his one bathroom condo takes poops that could put a truck driver to shame really i wish i was joking

but i'm not my poops are much more fragrant than the average persons i've seen doctors and fortunately there's no medical issues that i can blame it on it just seems that the combination of my diet heavy in cruciferous veggies spices and cheese my healthy appetite i'm only five three but i can out eat my boyfriend and most guys i know and the fact that i rarely go more than once every other day no matter how much fiber i try to consume makes for some really truly grotesque number twos you do not want to go in there for a solid 30 minutes after i've been pooping and no amount of febrize is going to save you even courtesy flushes are mostly ineffective until now i've successfully avoided introducing this delightful ability of mine to my current boyfriend or past

boyfriends it was just a matter of holding it in for a few hours or making an excuse to run down to the hotel lobby or out to starbucks but i know i'm not going to be able to do that every time and besides even if i tried the local starbucks would probably blacklist me once the employees realized the same lady was defiling their bathroom every other day my current roommate is my best friend since college so she's used to my horrific bathroom smells i'll let her know when i'm about to drop bombs so she can use the bathroom first and she knows well to stay away afterward that system works well for us but i'm not sure how to broach the concept with my boyfriend who surely has no idea that his girlfriend is capable of olfactory war crimes so help me out

here redditors if you're a toxic pooper or in a relationship with one how did things work out when you started sharing a bathroom do i try to discuss this with him ahead of time so he knows what he's getting into or just let him experience the shock and ah the first time he enters after me and take it from there please help oh and here you guys is first well so i in new york i lived in a very small apartment and i you know had a roommate and so we found ways to deal with this quite effectively okay and so i get for breeze you know eventually it just starts to smell like a for breeze slash shit kind of smell combo yeah it doesn't smell good and we used to take oh there used to be a lighter

sitting in the bathroom and if you light a little piece of toilet paper and let that thing go for a minute and then right in the water covers instantly like you're pretty good i mean there's that but also there was this one time that i was taking too long in the bathroom and jake really had to go so he sat over the edge of the couch put a trader joe's bag on the floor and just went for it and that lit up the apartment like nothing i've ever smelled so if she's in that boat then yeah it's rather hard to cover it up because he did take the bottle the can of for breeze and ran around holding the button down for about a minute and a half we both had to go to the park by our house for about an hour because we we were choking because the for breeze was literally like giving us cancer

oh my god so yeah i i think there's ways to do it but if it's that bad i mean the water does a lot so like i don't know what's happening but get some poopery or something on the front end i don't i don't see why she needs to cover it up i think if you're there are they married let's say they've been together a year and a half a year and they're getting moving in together yeah well okay i mean this is a good litmus test yeah can he uh love her for everything she is including her massive poops and i think that this person she deserves somebody if she's gonna because when you get married to someone or you move in with them like that's a very heavy life decision and you deserve somebody who is down for all of you even the unsavory parts including your poops yeah you know i if i were

moving in would i take horrible nasty diarrhea poops too bad you didn't meet her well you know if i were moving in with somebody i would want them to be okay with that and maybe she has a weird because there's like a it's a girl thing it's different but i think that's irrelevant you know if you're moving in with somebody you need to be prepared to see them as a true human being and a true human being is somebody who takes violent shits and gets emotional and excretes various fluids from their body and all the different orifices and and that's who he gets he gets he gets to smell her poops because he loves her so much as exactly what she is you know if if if he is the true person for her so that's fine and i let's say he fully understands it gets to experience

it multiple times at some point though wouldn't you just like out of the courtesy for both of you want to find a way to not have to have that experience all the time like sure you understand it you're not going to leave her over it you get you you get it but sounds like she's kind of exhausted everything though i mean she went to a doctor over these poops that's true did you say what the doctor said perfectly healthy she's she's good she said fortunately there's no medical issue that i can blame it on so i i feel like my poops really really smell what's interesting about that paper trick works like a charm i will light q-tips on fire as well i have a nice little jar in my bathroom full of q-tips and you just take the lighter and just pop one of those q-tips and just but then i'm still

banned yeah so i'm very open with justin where i will shut the door and i will say you cannot go in there for just don't go in there do not go in there because mine are stinky as well i feel like no does anyone's shit smell good yeah right no so it's just you know i want to know how much worse hers are than mine but i feel like everyone stinks so you just get over it i wonder what her boyfriend's poops are like because he might be right he might be on his computer right now writing a similar reddit post yeah and then they just have no idea that each other's poops smell that bad it's weird though that they've been to i mean a year and a half they must have spent a night or two together i there's no way that she has not been pooping in a bathroom at the same in in a house

that her boyfriend is also inhabiting so i'm surprised that they've been together for that long they're going to move in and this is never come up you can avoid it i used to like go to the grocery store down the street or like she said she goes to starbucks yeah she shouldn't have she shouldn't have to live though she shouldn't have to go to starbucks i don't like that when we were in copenhagen i would like send justin down to the lobby and then we would like go out for the day to explore i'd be like can you go down the lobby because i was so constipated there too i didn't poop in copenhagen for like six days or like that second half of the trip i had like four lattes in one day just trying to encourage my sphincter to work and nothing nothing would

happen you know how you kind of like people like the smell of their own farts a little bit yeah i feel like if you're in a relationship with someone like eventually you're trying to get there can i ask you for some uh relationship advice real quick yeah sure so we are i mean we're solidly at three and a half years over here yeah and uh morgan has this uh this fear and so she is currently to this moment has still not farted in front of me but you're lying you've heard it in my sleep for sure that's different we're talking about consciousness so you admit it you have so basically she has this fear oh god and she will i guess hold it in until she is literally in pain and then like if i if i'm leaving and i forget my keys i'll come back i'll she's like

don't come in here because it's all now coming out because i have left by the end of this podcast i want a morgan fart in that chair right there now's the time i can't do it yet i don't know you you hear in my sleep but i literally me and lauren were talking about this other day and i will be like mid dream and i will jump scare myself awake with a fart like i'll be just deep in asleep and then i'll wake up i'm like i hope i didn't hear that and then i like can't really fall back asleep because i'm so scared even in the bathroom like you know when you sit down and for girls like even if you're just gonna pee or if you're a guy and you sit and pee which you should um you kind of do it a little as you're peeing you just you relax and tap it well when

i'm in public bathrooms i have like uh i'll make a big wad of toilet paper and just put it back there so i don't no one hears my my pee farts what does that do it just like the air softly escapes you know i know you said that your viewers they they're so they're polarized when it comes to poop calls but we're really discussing an essential part of life yeah and i think it's important how long how long do we spend on toilets i don't know like they i'm sure there's very uh there's data statistician people who are tracking that and also going how did i get this job my average has gone down significantly because i used to have stomach issues but i have sense figure them out is there an app for that that like cracks the amount of time you spend on the toilet

it's called tiktok so to figure out how much time we spend pooping throughout our lives on average there's a simple equation one poop per day at 12 minutes each would be 4,380 minutes per year or 73 hours per year only seven i feel like it's got maybe for me it's definitely more than 73 hours adjusting use to go in the bathroom and spend like 30 minutes there at minimum there was no no no no no but i used to have my legs fall asleep for sure and then i'd stand up and it'd be like you're trying to walk but you can't walk you almost fall over yeah yeah this statistic was before tiktok for sure yeah yes we do have an update oh from her yeah please let's hear it so if you didn't catch my original post a while back here it is in short i've been worried about

moving into my boyfriend's one bedroom because i take horrifically stinky poops and i didn't know how to introduce him to that part of me let me start off by saying i really appreciate all the feedback i'm sorry that i wasn't able to respond to individual comments or provide this update earlier but i wanted to get back to you all even if it's late in case anyone out there was wondering whether our relationship was strong enough to withstand my face melting pooh stink after all in all the advice i decided that i just had to put it out there rather than whistling past the sewage plant so to speak by trying to cover it up there were a few suggestions for stink minimization that i haven't tried before and still may but most of

those roads i've been down before poopery it's only effective if your poop ends up fully submerged below the water which mine usually doesn't matches i've had one thought that was a clever solution until my roommate at the time asked me why it smelled like i was lighting my poop on fire while i'm happy to do anything i can to put a dent in the stink completely eliminating it is off the table anyways about a week or so after my first post i stayed the night at his place the next morning we made the usual coffee run and it wasn't long before i felt a number two brewing that's normally when i'd make some excuse to get back to my place but i decided that it was a good time as any to cross the thin brown line because i want no i'll say it afterwards are you sure

the way that this woman writes so eloquently in so many different ways about her boobs she's not like directly editing this on but she has like pride in these shits she's like she's like making it sound like she's ashamed of it but the the the subtext she loves that her poops smell bad yeah i think you can really tell i think she's into it i told him hey i need to use the bathroom and and honestly if you have to go you probably want to do it before me he gave me a quizzical look and said nah i'm okay so i went in there and proceeded with taking care of business i'll spare y'all the gory details but the result was characteristically catastrophic turning on all these different poetic ways of describing gory catastrophic face melting

turning on the fan in prime open the tiny slit of the window was about as effective as combating the stench as your proverbial pinky finger over the end of a fire hose i exited fan still on window still open door shut behind me embraced myself for some awkwardness feeling better he asked oh yeah much better i responded wondering whether i should allude to the fact that his bathroom was now share noble circa april 1986 i decided not to just having gone in his place was enough progress for one day right unfortunately he didn't let me off the hook that easy no more than five minutes after i had finished he gets up and heads over to the bathroom um you probably don't want to go in there right now i said with a mix of annoyance and palpable distress he stopped

and turned huh i had to poop that's why i offered to let you go before me he shrugged well i didn't have to go then it's fine i know that girl's poop too he started back towards the door and i got that feeling you get when you're watching a horror movie and the secondary character decides to take cover from a thunderstorm in the abandoned barn just down the road from the hospital for the criminally insane he opened the door and began to enter but then stopped cold and groaned as if in physical pain oh babe babe he cried turning around and pulling the door shut again his face contorted into a grotesque mask of disgust that's bad i jumped off off the couch fighting off tears and nervous laughter and shrieked i know that's why i tried to warn you he smiled sheepishly and said

well now i learned my lesson sensing my anguish he came over and gave me a hug and then he hit me with the inker man quote i'm not even mad that's amazing that got us both laughing and gradually it dawned on me that i had cleared the hurdle and things were going to be okay i told him about how this was something i'd been anxious about and even showed him my original post he thought the post was hilarious and assured me that he was still 100 on board with our relationship and us living together even if it means keeping a pair of nose plugs handy i'm happy to say i'll be moving in next weekend just as originally planned so thanks reddit for giving me the confidence to get through this then there you have it see that was beautiful because he didn't end with him being like i don't

mind it's fine it's no big deal ended with him going that's amazing right he actively was impressed which is what she wanted because she's not she again she's not letting it on she's letting on with subtech but she is so impressed with how her farts create sure noble and male faces and all that and so she needed somebody who was as impressed with her shits as she was so i'm glad that's how it ended she's a poop poet really is a poop yeah just beautiful writing do you think she wrote that on the toilet i wonder is a good chance yeah solid because it sounds like it was it was written in a very fresh memory yes exactly yeah the top comment on the update you ain't using socks or the poop knife so you have nothing to worry about that is true can we real quick the poop knife

what's the short and simple of it um so it was a story it was like today i fucked up by learning not every family has a poop knife and this guy went over to his buddy's house took a massive shit that covered the the whole whole of the toilet like a bridge no matter how many times he flushed won't go down so he goes out and asks his buddy hey do you have a poop knife and so it turns out his family had this knife they hung up in their laundry room and the whole family used it to cut their big poops it's genetic yeah have you guys ever done that like cut one of your poops no but i do want to try it now with that knife no i think i need to order a second one i've used the one right there on the desk get out no i was i was literally about to get up and throw it away

moving away from poop okay okay let's do it if you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem you may have felt the pain of realizing you don't know any plumbers whether you're trying to stop a leaky faucet fix a running toilet replace your old water softener or install a tankless water heater the plumbers at any hour services can help all you have to do is call any our services or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com help with plumbing maintenance and repairs is closer than you think call any our services or schedule an appointment at anyourservices.com no one helps more homeowners than any our services last one for you please am i the asshole for yelling at my wife in front of my family for putting salt in my mom's birthday cake so my wife 24 is the main

cook in the apartment she cooks whenever we have guests over and for ages my mom has been complaining about my wife not adding enough salt in her meals my wife would take it personally and start a fight over the small comment my mom makes anyways my wife and i hosted dinner weeks ago and mom made the same comment about my wife not using enough salt even though my wife swore she did and said she was careful with salt but my mom still insisted the food was tasteless now the family were divided on this so we couldn't really decide if my wife really did use enough salt my wife started crying after they left saying my mom was being deliberate with this salt remark to make her look like a bad cook but i told her it's not true and she needed to let it go and she did hours later she forgot about it

completely for my mom's birthday my wife offered to make the birthday cake saying she found a really great recipe on a cooking blog mom wasn't excited for the idea but i told my wife to do it thinking it would be a nice gesture to help them get past their conflict we went to my mom's house and brought the cake during the party my wife insisted my mom be the first to taste the cake mom grabbed a piece and once she put it in her mouth she immediately got it out while spitting onto the plate we freaked out and got her some water while she was yelling that there was salt in the cake i looked at my wife and she said she had no idea what my mom was talking about i immediately went to get a piece and taste some and found it was full of salt it tasted horribly

absolutely horrible still my wife acted confused but i told her how fucked up it was for her to put salt in the cake she said that since mom was obsessed with salt then she figured she preferred it over sugar in her birthday cake i was flabbergasted i blew up and berated her in front of my family till she took her bag and went home my sister said it was all right that my wife was probably feeling frustrated and wanted to make a point to my mom i went home and she refused to speak except to say that i hurt her by yelling at her and that i should have told my mom off when she kept making remarks about her cooking but i told her she acted childishly and ruined the birthday party and made an unnecessary scene for no reason at all now she's

acting like the wronged party but i let her know she has to apologize to my mom am i the asshole well see this is where my rebellious side comes out so like if there's something that sort of is a big hobby for me or quote unquote defines me or is just a part of my personality such as cooking and someone constantly has an issue with it and they keep calling it out for unnecessary reasons then my my rebellious side comes out and yeah i sort of want to be the spiteful person that does make the call to say oh now you taste the salt here you go i'll make your cake for you and then you don't really give a shit that you ruin the day you're just proving this big blatant point which in my experience tends to feel really great in the short term

and not so great in the long term but sometimes life calls for these types of you know decisions when someone just constantly she gives you shit okay all right so so the the grandma's complaining about the wife's cooking not enough salt not enough salt so the wife to spite her adds way too much salt yeah well i don't even know i don't even know if cake recipes have salt so i think by the sounds of it in the recipe she replaced the sugar with salt like knowing full on that that was going to be a gross cake and that despite the mom yeah i'm not a big fan of like doing things at a spite you're better than us uh no i'm i'm just uh what's the point what do you win what are you how do you so what's the so what's your what's your strategy to change the situation then

i guess communicate this is boring though but i guess to communicate hey uh i don't like that you're berating me i feel disrespected by you you know have a conversation you know do you gotta make a cake with a bunch of salt in it waste a bunch of food to fuck up the bread what are you doing there for how old is this woman it's just that's i guess i don't like spiked because what was she's 24 years old okay i mean what's gained at the end of this situation a mother-in-law that hates your guts now the mother now because that's what i don't like about the spite thing is now the mom hates her now there's just more conflict yeah it was a decision that was man i get and i don't want to disregard this woman's emotions because she's clearly very offended yeah by this by her

mother-in-law her mother-in-law's being a jerk her mother-in-law has no her mother-in-law's also contributing heavily to this conflict she's running her mouth when she shouldn't be like a play you know chastising the wife about her cooking but why one person at some point in the impasse has to make a decision that will de-escalate the uh what's the what's the opposite of escalate you said de-escalate you had it i felt like there was another word yeah no i i believe it is defuse defuse the conflict there you go the source one person needs to be the bigger person and go okay i'm gonna start taking steps to calm this down and neither of them did that and she made this cake at a spite and now the now the situation is worse yeah for everyone involved

so that's why i don't like the decision well and that's where being able to talk to them and ask them yeah have you tried this have you tried to talk to her about the problem and then it just kept happening so you're resorted to this right that's where you wish you could ask them exactly if i were talking to her i would be like what have you had the conversation with her hey you're hurting my feelings but even if they even if she hadn't attempted let's say that she hadn't attempted to take the uh the more respectable bigger person route yes yeah in that case my rebellious side says make the fucking cake make it really disgusting prove your point and then hey yeah she might hate you after for for a bit but then you can go in and have the adult conversation and and still patch it

i guess i guess yeah they're not now they're not now beyond the adult still have it but you know have the fun what's the point like because doing things out of spite it like reinforces your negative emotion because first of all bake it bake in a cake it's a whole thing yeah it's a whole endeavor and to do it so angrily because she's baking the cake the whole time yeah fucking show you fucking bitch to have that while the timer is going on she's preheating she's preheating the oven fucking bitch she's putting the sprinklers like that's not a good yeah experience for her for her it could have been a release though like just uh could have been like almost cathartic like yeah fuck you bitch you're gonna you're gonna choke on

this salt now but then she's just like it's like for lack of it's a little it's like masturbatory it's like she's soaking in the negative emotions oh i see and uh and like i'm not saying she's wrong or right or that like the uh what's her the mom or i just like it's not my favorite way of dealing with that emotion because it's just reinforcing it making it worse and then the mom's gonna start being even more antagonistic yeah well i think this is not gonna work out for anyone well i think from her perspective of making the cake you think that it's gonna prove your point once and for all from the mom's perspective i don't think it's ever received as you think it will be i don't think the mom's like oh no she's the victim now the mom's like oh yes this is because i've

been calling you out on the salt of course yeah and you think that that's what your action's going to do never but really at the end of the day it probably just makes you feel really good for a short term and it forever fucks it up exactly it's not it's not a step towards a diffusion of kinds a step towards a strong heightening of the conflict right which how would you handle it i'd say hey can you stop being an asshole and about the cooking please do you think it's a problem that the husband hasn't like kind of said hey mom enough about the salt yeah he totally does learn how to use the shaker bitch add your own salt yeah i know he the husband you should step in there and be like hey mom can you stop yeah chastising my girlfriend no one needs to make cakes in this

situation there's no cakes that needs to just to have conversations the weird uh you know making of cakes to diffuse that's just there's too many elements no she should just bought her a salt block i buy them for my horses they love them i feel like you have the same message we're gonna you have so many layers to you i'm really weird yeah i have some horses where in minnesota oh okay yeah they're gonna be here you're gonna no they're gonna look under the table they're trying to bring one out here how the fuck are you gonna get a horse you're gonna ride the horse all the way no he's gonna fly in a plane hopefully the horse is gonna fly in a plane they have planes with stalls they go into like a ups plane in their own box get the

shit out of here box he's really big stall yeah he's really old and has a brain tumor so he's gonna die soon so i'm trying to enjoy our life together the last little bit he's got so i can either put him in a semi truck to get him out here which he probably would die in that thing so i have to save up money to buy a plane ticket for him how much does a plane ticket for a horse i don't really know yet and i don't really want to it's i think it's 2000 i 3000 i think yes somewhere man could you mad you know how people are they're like oh getting sat next to a crying baby or uh you know a larger person on a plane you know it's really suck if you sit down next to a horse that would be an interesting experience have you ever had the huge dog next

actually yeah like a big-ass dog no i've seen they put dogs in the cargo they didn't well it's they don't let you do it anymore but you used to bring on your big-ass dog and it's like it's a pony it's not like a full horse size so there's a big-ass dog that's not much smaller than this horse so it probably has happened damn i got the saddle right over right over there you can oh is that a saddle yeah there's a saddle you can ride them you know what lately i don't know why this has been coming up but um i've been reading a lot about people who have gotten into pretty serious injuries on horses don't tell me this that's why i don't that's why i don't think i want to ride one that's bad juju i've been close jesson's gotten bucked a bit you got

bucked and reared when we would go up to the farm those horses aren't ridden every day anymore they're ridden every few months when we go home and they're mad they just want to eat they don't want to be ridden anymore they're not in that that mode anymore so yeah there's times where you're running across the field full blast full run and all of a sudden you feel this motion like you get like the ass is going up in the air and you're about to fly over the handlebars like on a bike and so then you have to like figure out how to hold on and then the next thing you know you're on the next horse and they pop up and so you lean forward and hold on to their neck like oh jesus don't fall on top of me so yeah there's you know there's moments but it just comes with the

territory i don't i don't fuck with uh like fucking with animals we'll see so do you want to go horseback riding they do rides in the hollywood hills we could all go i'll be down those horses don't go to my gecko costume oh we might all have to you might be able to i feel like the tail will cause trouble it could spook it yeah it could spook the horse i've been like getting caught up in my tail all night i'm like trying to like like shit you could yeah like the donkey pin the tail on the donkey huh and you're on a horse i like that yeah i'd ride a donkey not a horse donkeys feel like uh i feel like i could tame a donkey yeah i feel like i'm a horse like like i feel like i'm smarter than all donkeys but not all horses they're really smart the horses that are smarter

than they are smart but it'll be good this will be a good adventure for us i like it a team outing i'm down team outing horse shits don't need knives they come off in like big pellets it's really weird to be in the middle of a high five like that yeah so i decided to go for the quick two that was good that was good are you okay have you ever done the thing where you jump over the yeah she used to compete oh no shit yeah i was a big time gamer what do you do for fun now hi guys this no i don't know i don't have any i need to get back into my fun hobbies i want to learn how to sew and then i'm trying to bring my pony out here and i'm i'm dealing with a little burnout i have like infinite more i can see you you're like you're trying to end the podcast

so i have like infinite more question for you guys the computer clothes we can do we can do we'll do it afterward we can do it later yeah well no we got some more wine we'll shut this down bye guys but first and foremost thank you for coming on thanks for having me this is fun where can everyone find you because you if you're gonna listen to one podcast and any guess that i bring on the house is really good and you get thanks man weird people what's the what's the story that like sticks out the most to you oh jeez christ uh story that sticks out the most well uh the other day i got um two i had two callers on the line uh i had both of them happened to only have one testicle i saw that and they had the i'm sorry so both of them only had happened to have one

testicle and i put them together and they just started vibing with each other because neither of them had ever met another person only has one testicle well and one had the left testicle and then the other one had the right so i suggested that they they get together and they sort of smush them together and see if it opens a portal to an alternate dimension i feel like it could there's only one way to find out are they gonna do it um man i never get follow-ups on these you need to have your your callers give you updates here's i i i i don't know why but i'm very ignorant is bliss i'm like averse to follow-ups ignorance is bliss yeah like if you call in like i actually have i actually have a thing okay and i don't talk about this but i have a uh thing

we're like i on my system if you call into the show and you get in and we talk it blocks you from calling again for like six months wow well that's actually a good strategy because then you know you're not getting the same people calling every week mom and it's not because i don't like those people it's just because there's a lot of right i want to keep tight i want to make sure i get to everyone huh that's yeah uh the podcast is called therapy gecko it's on every podcast app whatever podcast app you're using to listen to this podcast it is on spotify stitcher apple podcast all that stuff uh you can find me on instagram if you don't have the attention span for podcasts instagram lial the number four ever uh or just search therapy gecko on instagram and if you see

a profile picture of a big green guy that's me and uh those are the two there you can go to youtube dot com slash lial for youtube dot com slash lial forever um just search therapy gecko on google and a bunch of shit will pop up and you'll find me youtube is a good one i like your changing backgrounds thanks man the jail cell you got some good ones youtube dot com slash lial forever or if you just search therapy gecko on youtube uh it'll pop up it'll pop up no thank you very much for the kind words morgan i appreciate it and thank you guys for having me on your show this is awesome this was so good until next time guys until next time oh until next time but i won't be here not for six months at least i'll come back later bye guys

the thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking i talked to my doctors and then i threw away all my cigarettes ashtrays and lighters i started exercising instead of smoking staying away from alcohol when i was first quitting was key i kept on trying learn something each time do whatever it takes no matter how many times it takes we did it so can you for free and confidential help call 1 800 quit now or visit waytoquit.org developed by cdc hi jan from toyota speaking jan i heard it's a good time to buy toyota sure is from now until april fourth you can shop all your favorites like corolla rav 4 sequoia and more imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house

you promised your daughter sarah when did you hop on the call hi dad mom said you were taking too long on the phone toyota let's go places see you're participating toyota dealer for details dealer inventory may vary