Two Hot Takes - 77: Women Can Be Trash Too..

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! These stories are here to level the playing field and show that sometimes gals need to be put in the bin too.. Can't wait to hear what you think about these ones! **First story starts at the 6:40 minute mark** Teacher Wishlists <3 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rlk1Xzfd0tV_LY4f4U-MOouZyRO6egf0FHtNnbMMEbI/edit?usp=sharing LIVE SHOW TICKETS!!! Moment House LIVESTREAM Tickets: Momenthouse.com/THT In person Minnesota tickets: https://concerts.livenation.com/event/06005CDEA5B32000 Partners: NextEvo: NextEvo.com  promo code: THT ZocDoc: ZocDoc.com/THT CASETiFY: Casetify.com promo code: 15TWOHOTTAKES Hello Fresh: HelloFresh.com/tht16 promo code: tht16 Patreon // & BONUS CONTENT https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

Replacement windows by Amzco Windows are masterfully crafted right here in Utah at prices you can afford. Our windows combine energy efficiency, sturdy design, and great colors, including black. Choose from several options, styles, and colors to create the perfect fit. With over 30 million units installed, Amzco Windows is a time-tested industry leader. For more information, visit amzkowindows.com. Request a quote and mention this ad, and you'll receive 15% off amzkowindows.com. I know, I know, get to the episode already. Morgan, stop talking. But I just wanted to take a minute to share a bunch of teachers' wish lists that have been

sent to me. With Back to School coming up, I started getting a lot of messages about people asking me to help them with their wish list. And that gave me the idea to post on my personal Instagram story and ask if there are any listeners that are teachers and need help with their list. And we got a lot back. So I've put together a Google Doc full of their blurbs that they sent me a little about them, their classroom, their needs, and a link to their Amazon wish list. There are so many amazing, amazing teachers on this list that are struggling to even get books for their classrooms. Books. I had a librarian that's responsible for getting their own books. I'm pretty blown away by the lack of supplies and just the basic things that our students and

kids need. So if you can, feel free to pick someone off this list and donate. And if you don't want to support Amazon or you don't have the money to purchase items off this list, I really, really encourage you to pull books together from family and friends and reach out to your local districts and see if they need help with certain things. So thank you guys so much for all of your support on this show, on helping these teachers and just being a part of this little two hot takes family. And okay, let's get this show on road before I start crying. So did I scare you when I told you the theme today? Yeah, of course. Why? Because you texted me and you said get ready to hate woman and I was like, what? So I really battled with myself over this theme.

And I want to like, I want to preface it in a way where maybe people will understand like my thought process a little, but I've a very hard time articulating myself because I feel, I don't know. But I saw like, I've seen a lot of comments where people have been like, why do I feel like they're constantly hating on men? Like, oh, like all the stories have to do with shitty men and this and that. And one, I think we have to realize the context like typically Reddit posters, like from what I've found, a lot of them are women posting. And so it's all context. But I did go out of my way today to kind of even the playing field. And I found stories that have shitty women, shitty gals. See, people got mad at me when I thought it was gross that the guy was washing

his girlfriend's period blood in the kitchen utensil bowls. Yeah. And so I'm kind of scared. I feel like people are going to be angry. So I did pick you for this thing. Because you do a great job being the devil's advocate. Oh, okay. In real life on this show. You're great. Like you really try to see things from a bunch of different angles and be the devil's advocate. And so I felt that if I'm going to do this theme justice and tear into these people, I was kind of hoping maybe you'd be the voice of reason. Well, I think that like what I try to do is that it's not justifying other people's actions. But for me, it helps if I can just try to understand where it's stemming from. So that instead of holding all this

anger, I'm even even though it's I still don't agree with it, I'll hold more compassion. Because when I have compassion towards things that I don't agree with, it in turn gives like it's more compassion for myself. Yeah, it's just like you're not wasting your energy. I just think like for me, I get so wrapped up in what OP is typing that like all like I just get like so I'm like ready to go to bat for them. And yeah, obviously, like you can't judge a book by a cover. Like there's so many sides to all these stories. And I have one at the very, very end that I think like does a really good job like kind of demonstrating that. But I do just want to say like as a woman, we do get it like harder in real life. Like I think the greatest example is like

how we use language to shape women versus men in society. Like a woman who's a boss is bossy versus a man would be assertive. Like there's a chart. There is a chart where it's women on one side and men on the other. And for the same kind of behavior, women get a negative like term and men get a very positive term. And so just like I want there to be like some nuance to this where like I don't want it to feel like whatever. I just, I know that a lot of people do listen with their partners. And that's probably like the my favorite feedback that I get. It's like, I was listening to my husband over her and he wanted to start from season one. That's a message I got today. And so I love seeing messages like that.

Our first episode. I need to listen to that again soon. I know I do too. I want to like go back and like harness some of that naiveness and like excitement. Yeah, you were talking to like, you're like, we're going to be talking to people from all over the world. I was like, yeah, wishful thinking bitch. And now I have like a best friend in Russia. She's like, I talk to her every day. Your pen pal. Yeah. So Anastasia, I think that's enough lead up for this episode, but we love you all and we want everyone to always feel included. And so this episode is called throw her away. Oh, really? Yeah, women are trash. Oh my god. That like hurts my heart. I don't believe it, but it's a catchy title. Okay, let's dive in. Let's go.

I'm like tearing up already from the laughter from the laughs. I'm excited to try this. I haven't had it yet. Oh my god, it's so good. The cocktail we're drinking today is a design your own mix from home goods. It like came with like a clear bottle that had like a bunch of spices and stuff in it and you just add the liquor of your choice. So I love it. It's really good. I love it. It's really flavorful. Yeah. So I want to kill in it, right? Oh, this is great. Of course. This would make a really good like splash of margarita mix. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So cheers. If you have a beverage at home, tea, coffee, also I go to homework all the time now. I love that place. I literally didn't know how much I loved it. So up first, you're scaring me. No, I'm starting off light,

Lauren. Don't worry. It's okay. It's okay. It's been a long time since I've been here. So I'm like, you gotta, you gotta get back into it. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be okay. You can do it. Okay. Have faith in you. Okay. Take a big sip. Am I the asshole for having high expectations for my bachelorette party? I, 25 female, am getting married to my wonderful fiance, 31 male this fall. A week ago, I had a bachelorette party. While most girls dream of their weddings, I dreamt about my bachelorette weekend. I put a lot of planning into this weekend, made a lot of phone calls, reservations, everything basically. Is this Alejandra? This sounds like Alejandra. She's a planner. Yeah. And she's so for the girls too.

She's such a good planner. Such a good planner. For Thursday night, through Sunday morning, me and 25 of my closest girlfriends rented a house. From the start, it was a disaster. I told my girls to get to the house early on Thursday so they could decorate and set up before I got there. Well, I got to the house at three and they weren't done decorating. So that bummed me out because I wanted that wow moment when I came in and saw the setup. I felt robbed, but we still had a decent first night. Friday, I woke everyone up at 7am to make breakfast and get ready because we had a packed day. Vineyards, boat, lunch, happy hour drinks, then dinner and the clubs. I was getting shaded on all afternoon because people said they were being rushed from place to

place and had to carry changes of clothes all day, but we only had a limited time in the city and I wanted to make the most of it. Saturday was worse. We had brunch at 9am and no one was awake in time, so it only ended up being me and a few loyal bridesmaids. We went shopping after for a few hours and when we got back to the house, no one was even apologetic even though I was close to tears all day. The last straw for me was later that night when we were going to dinner and nobody was wearing the matching shirts we got for the weekend. People wanted to wear their own stuff, but that's not what we agreed on even though my maid of honor notified everyone. At that point, I said fuck it. This weekend was ruined and I locked myself in my room to cry. It was even worse

when I came out a few hours later and half the girls had gone out anyways without me aka the actual bride. I ended up driving home early on Sunday and left the house a mess for the girls to pick up because I was so upset. Now it's been almost a week. No one has really texted me except some bridesmaids and maid of honor. I know I sound bridezilla-ish, but these are supposed to be my friends and we were supposed to celebrate me all weekend and I felt neglected and I'm just really upset. I understand these expectations may seem like a lot, but I made my expectations clear to the group and they just let me down so bad. Tell me, am I the asshole? This one's kind of hard honestly because it's a little unhinged for me. I'm gonna be honest. Like her or the friends?

Her. I think there's the expectations are kind of insane. Like Friday morning you wake everyone up at 7 a.m. Yeah. And what? The thing and that's why my first thought is that I wouldn't enjoy that. I really think that people get so in their heads with things that they want for holidays, for their birthdays, for their wedding, whatever it is. And so when you can't control other people and so when people don't do exactly what you built in your brain, then it's just so disappointing and then when you act so disappointed in these people that are there to celebrate you, they can feel that and then they get really frustrated and don't want to be there anymore because it's supposed to be lighthearted and fun. So yeah, I mean I don't, she made the expectations very

clear beforehand and then they all agreed to it and then they let her down. I understand how that's like really frustrating. Yeah, that is true. But it was very demanding. So I would be like, I'm going to bed, bitch. So you're gonna be the perfect person for this episode. Look at you off to a good start, devil's advocating. Or not devil's advocating, just you're seeing all sides, which I do agree. It is really hard to be let down when you have these expectations and it sounds like she put a lot of effort into finding places, establishing a really solid itinerary, things like that. Her friends should have articulated her and been like, hey, if we go out Thursday night and we're going to a club, 7am on Friday is unrealistic for me. I'm sorry,

I need a minimum of eight hours of sleep or I'm going to be a psychopath. Yeah, because that's me. Yeah, I cannot do that. I schedule naps on my vacations. All Hondras' little Mexico weekend we did was like pretty good. It was kind of like free reign. If you wanted to sleep in, you could sleep in. If you wanted to go get coffee, you could go get coffee early in the morning because she wakes up early. But she didn't disturb people and like rack it on our doors, like get up bitches. It's my birthday weekend. I totally agree. It was very like, I felt like everyone was like comfortable. It was amazing. I will say it's very, very hard to go on a girls trip and not have any like, I think it's very hard to travel with friends. You kind of realize what

friends you can travel with and what ones you can't. This whole thing from the start just seems so unhinged to me. 25 girls staying in one house. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. Also, that's a sorority house. What did she cover? Does she say like how much she covered? Were they all expected to pay XYZ amount? Because that's another thing too. When you have to do, you're already paying a lot for the dresses and for everything for the wedding. Sometimes there's travel, you're dedicated. Sometimes you take work off, the hotel. So there's always a lot of expenses with weddings. I remember my sister, she was at an age where everyone was getting married back to back, all of her friends. And she was like, I love my friends so much,

but I don't want to be asked to be in weddings anymore because I'm so expensive. It's so much money. And so it's like, these girls also might have been like, I'm using my vacation time and my hard-earned money and then I'm getting like bullied. Yeah. Well, and I think to that point too, if they are splitting everything, which I believe they are, there's a lot of comments from OP that we can kind of get into. But I will say, if I went on this four day vacation, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, that's four days, I'm taking time off, I'm traveling, airline tickets are expensive, Airbnb's are expensive, everything's expensive. If the bride starts having a meltdown because you didn't get up early one day and things aren't going exactly the plan,

it doesn't mean the rest of it's going to be ruined for me. If I can encourage her to come out of the room, I'm not going to sit there all night awkwardly twiddling my thumbs. I am going to go out. I don't blame the girls for going out either. I think it's just like her expectations were so unrealistic. No matter how clear she communicated them, I think it was just bound to fail because of the heightened expectations. And I will say, I think going into any big event with the bar low and trying to keep your expectations at a minimum is such a good thing to do. It's so important because then you don't feel disappointed. And that goes for birthdays, bridal stuff, anything like that. Well, I have a friend that always says,

don't emotionally masturbate when it comes to relationships. What does that even mean? Yeah, right? It's kind of weird. But basically, it's like you meet a guy and then instead of just taking it for what it is, every interaction you have, you're like, oh my God, they would get along with my dad so well. And you envision this scene where they're going fishing together. Yeah, exactly. And then it's like you start to develop these stronger feelings for them. You're literally emotionally masturbating to something that's not existent yet. And so people do that with holidays. And clearly this woman did this with her her bachelor party, which it fits because she even said, I didn't dream of my wedding.

I dreamt about my bachelor at weekend. Yeah. So there are some edits. Yes, I have 25 people who I genuinely wanted to celebrate with. Six of them are in my wedding party and the other 19 were college friends, childhood friends, work friends, etc. Made of honor sent out the itinerary months ago. It was very clear the activities I planned and their prices per person. If someone had wanted to skip out, it wouldn't be a problem, but all the girls paid accordingly. So they knew what they were getting themselves into. And just looking at some of the comments, the top comment is you're the asshole for all the control and then running off crying. No, you can't control 25 other women. Your expectations were too

high. Also, who is 25 friends? This seems like sorority craziness, which I think my sorority house fit 42 girls living there. I feel like that's the number of Alpha Phi University of Minnesota. If anyone's a current member, let me know what the what the roommate situation is. I think it's like 42 though. Did you live in the house? No, that's like, I could never. Really? Oh my God, I lived with four other girls in college and that was like, well, four, including me. We had a four bedroom. Yeah, I know I was friends with you then, but like I thought maybe at one point like you're the year before we did we become friends like immediately. Yeah, my freshman year, the fall winter, then never mind. Can you picture me

thriving in a house like that? Honestly, the house was really pretty because they remodeled it. So it was cute, but like, but yeah, that's a lot space wise. Yeah, but they had a sunbathing roof for the two seconds of summer that they have. Yeah, I can go lay out in a park. Yeah, 42 girls like no, no, no, no, no. I just couldn't. I can barely handle living with my dad. Yeah, fair enough. Too many personalities for me. Fair enough. Comment wise, to me, even on your birthday though, like we had planned kayaking and I was so excited about it. And then I felt so unwell that I was like, dude, I didn't know I was gonna make it. It was such a struggle getting through it. And um, and that's so unlike me to do. Yeah, I'm not one to plan

activities, especially after like going out and I'm not an activities girl while on vacation. That was purely Alejandra's influence that she's an activities girl. I like that we did that, but it was definitely like, oh, I got seasick violently. I was one hungover. And then being on a kayak back and forth, I was violently seasick. We thought it was going to be so relaxing. We're like, oh, it's going to be so like warm and peaceful, freezing cold, by the way. And we're like wearing our clothes, but we didn't know we had to get in the water to get in the kayak. We had to like run and jump into these crashing waves, like fight against it. And then we came back in, we had to ride the way back in and like half of us tipped over. No, I came in very gracefully.

Yeah, we were good. We were amazing. Wasn't it Alejandra that like H and Jordan? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Anyway, we, we definitely, we, we emotionally masturbated that to be very serene. It was not. Yeah. No. And then we went to a really shipwreck. Beautiful restaurant after. If you want to see it, I'll put pictures. It's Duke's. Oh yeah, beautiful. Yeah. Lauren's like running to the bathroom every five minutes. I was like, I'm my throw up. So I'm a puke, like save my spot, drink my drink. Oh, it was a nightmare. It was the caffeine. I got Starbucks before and it just like caffeine hung over. Yeah. It can either heal you or kill you. Yeah. I just think I need to link this one for you guys to go through the comments. There's so many and OP is like going to bat really

trying to defend all of this. I mean, I'm scrolling and scrolling and it's a, it's pages full of comments. But everyone says she's the asshole. Yeah. There's comments like, did no one tell you this itinerary was way too much? You made your expectations clear, but did you not think at all about what everyone else wanted? I know it's your weekend, but that doesn't mean you get to cart everyone around like a kindergarten class. Yeah. And so OP goes, please explain by what is too much. We have to have a schedule because it was 25 girls. And so we needed to be punctual and have reservations. That is true. It's hard enough to get reservations for six people, let alone 25, which I feel like at that point you should have just catered into your mansion that you're staying

at. And then it's hard too because it's like, if you don't have all 25 people there, are they going to give you a cancellation fee? Yeah. You know, well, I think this is what is like the most crazy for me. So someone responds to that and goes, you had them running around like crazy and they had to have a change of clothes during the day. Are you insane? And OP just goes, we didn't have time to go home and change. They would have missed the activities. You overbooked the activities. If people have to carry around a tote bag with clothes to go from brunch to the club, you overextended yourself. Yeah. Like you need to have some, some sense of like, some sense of hingedness here and realize you're just going overboard.

But I like that. Hingedness. You need to be a little more hinged. We need to have hingedness. Okay. Yeah. I'm over this one though, but I got one more bridal one. The invigorating performance machine is now at Tim Daly Mazda Murray, the 2024 Mazda CX90. And for a limited time, Tim Daly Mazda Murray has 3.9% financing on the 2024 Mazda CX90, making it so easy to get your new Mazda. So don't wait, head to Tim Daly Mazda Murray today and get your brand new 2024 Mazda CX90 with 3.9% financing and own your own invigorating performance machine. So up next, am I the asshole for going bridezilla after my bridesmaid spilled wine on my wedding dress? That sucks. Oh, I hate that. It's going to get worse. Oh no.

I, 27 female, got married a month ago. My dress was this long lacy gown that my mom wore at her wedding. My mom passed away about two years ago. Because the dress was so important to me, I had a big plan to keep it safe from any damages. I would only wear the dress at the wedding itself, and I would switch to a more casual dress for the reception. When I was wearing the dress, I wouldn't eat or drink anything except water, and I would stay inside at all times. I promise I'm not usually this crazy about cleanliness, but this was my mom's dress, and the thought of it being damaged broke my heart. Oh my God. But I also knew I wanted to wear it when I got married to have a piece of her with me. She adored this dress and always dreamed I would

wear it. My bridesmaids knew very well about my particularities with the dress. I had a room above the venue where I was getting ready. My dress was hanging in a safe space in the room. On the day of the wedding, I went down to check on something for the wedding, leaving my bridesmaids in the room. Here's what happened, as they told it to me. They opened a bottle of Pinot Noir, my favorite, as a celebration. They poured themselves glasses and began to walk around checking out the room. One of my bridesmaids, Anna, 27 female, wanted to get a closer look at my dress. She got really close to it, and she started touching the lace. Somehow, her hand, holding the wine glass, slipped, and wine spilled all over the bottom of the dress.

When I came upstairs, they told me what happened, and I started sobbing. My maid of honor called several professional cleaners, and they said there was no way they could get the dress in before the wedding. They told us ways to save the dress until we could get it into them, so my maid of honor started doing that. After the call, I became extremely angry. I asked Anna what the hell she was doing, holding red wine so close to my dress, when she knew how careful I was being. She dismissed it and said it wasn't such a big deal because I was planning to wear the dress. What? So it could have gotten damaged that way, too. What the fuck? I couldn't believe she said that. I called her thoughtless and careless and stupid.

I told her that she was no longer a part of the wedding, and that I wanted her to leave. She left, and neither of us have reached out to each other since. I got married in the dress, I had planned to wear for the reception, and I was heartbroken not to be wearing my mom's dress. After the wedding, my bridesmaids joked that I was a bridezilla for kicking Anna out after she made an honest mistake. No, no. I'd be done with her. I absolutely don't think I'm the asshole or a bridezilla because Anna's reaction was so horrible and insincere. Yeah, fuck Anna. Fuck you. That makes me so mad. Like, what the hell was she doing? If she knew how important this dress was, I would never. I don't dress myself with red wine anywhere, especially around a white dress.

What? We were literally in an Uber in Mexico for Alejandro's birthday, and I let you wear my blue dress out for dinner because I was like, Lauren, you were literally like, I'm not gonna go. I'm just like, I'm not gonna go. And I was like, put this on, we're leaving. So I put you in my blue dress. And in the Uber, it's like a full glass of wine, and we're going over these Mexican roads that are just like potholes. There's like, there's no road here, you guys. It's like potholes. And Lauren's just like trying to magically hold the dress. And I just see it go on the dress and I'm like, I don't even care. I don't even care. It's fine. Just keep going. Did it get on the dress? Yeah, but it's fine. I washed it. I think it came out. We're good. Okay. I didn't even realize.

Was it like spots or was it like actually like, I mean, it was a splash. Like that big? Yeah, but it's fine. Oh my God. But like, that's what I'm saying. Like with a wedding dress? Yeah. No chance, no chances would be taken. Like this is absurd to me. When you have someone that's not even going to drink anything but water around her dress. Yeah. The I would be, it's like if she, if Anna, what would it be crying and be like, I'm so fucking sorry. Like all of that. Like then I would be like, this is horrible and I'm so sad. But like it was a mistake. But the response, I would never talk to her again. Yeah. And then I would also question my friends for being like, you're such a bridezilla. No, fuck Anna. That's a normal

fucking response when someone just spilled on my mom's dress and my mom passed away. And it was important for me to wear this fucking dress and my mom wanted me to wear the fucking dress. Fuck Anna. Fuck that girl. Fuck your other bride's face. Agreed. Oh dang, you just left me hanging. Okay. No, I agree. I feel so bad for OP and I don't know. I can't believe she said that. You would have spilled on it anyway. Okay. And so for that, I know some people when they're faced with their mistakes or awkward situations, they have very inappropriate reactions. Like for me, I sometimes like don't know how to react appropriately. Sometimes like Justin called me after Coachella and was like, I have COVID and I literally started laughing.

Yeah. I do that too sometimes. Like it was just, I just, you're like, yeah. And so I feel like maybe that was her defense mechanism. But after you realize like, Hey, that's not the way to go. Maybe adjust your strategy and reach back out and be like, Hey, I'm so sorry. Yeah. But like I'm getting to the point where I'm just really, I mean, like I, as we discussed the beginning of the episode, like my brain does go to like, I try to understand where people are coming from in order to just have more compassion and just not hold on to anger. You don't have it for this one? Well, it's more of the fact that it's like, we can have compassion for her, but like, again,

it doesn't excuse it. And I would just be like, this isn't someone I want to have in my life anymore. Like unless she turned around and was like, my reaction was fucked up. And I like, I can't believe that I like put such a dent in such an amazing day. Like I'm so sorry. And like, and we had a conversation, then yeah, I wouldn't be like, you're dead forever. But like, if that was like where she left it off, I'd be like, I just don't need you in my life anymore. Absolutely. And like, I can have compassion for the fact that maybe you just don't know how to react to shitty situations. But like, I don't want you in my life. Yeah. So I feel really, really bad. I, I wish I would have been a bridesmaid in this situation

because I personally, and I don't, I don't want this to be taken the wrong way and be like, Morgan, like what's done is done. But I think she's still sort of worn the dress, even with the wine on it, because it is so easy for your wedding photographer to photoshop stuff like that out of it. And hey, I don't know how big the train is or whatever, but just maybe fold it over as you're up there doing stuff. So it's not in every picture. Like I would have encouraged her to wear that dress no matter the wine stain. Yeah. And I know other people are taking pictures too, not just the photographer. For sure. So it's like, it's, but then it's like, it's not in that sense, like it's not about the pictures. It's about you and how you feel on that day. And

this was your dream to wear your mom's dress and sign me up for made of honor duties because I will fuck in one, I'll murder Anna for you and encourage you to still wear the dress. But again, it's kind of what's done is done. Unfortunately, I'm just, I'm heartbroken for her and Anna needs to be tossed. She's trash. Yeah. It's one of those things where it's like, I don't know, with, with other things, with weddings, I can be like, it's just one day, like shrug, but no, this is different. It's so sentimental. Yeah. There's, there's a lot of context here that plays into it where it's not, it's not just her dress she bought from the store, which still would be heartbreaking and fuck the friends. But it's the sentiment behind it and the fact that her mom is no longer with her. Yeah.

And that was a tie to having her mom with her on that day. Yeah. Top comment. Why? Why would you wander around with a glass of wine next to a white wedding dress that had such extreme sentimental value? So fucking weird. Was she wasted? Not the asshole. I just, they could have waited. They couldn't have waited to have wine. Even if the dress wasn't sentimental because of your mom, the fact that it's your wedding dress automatically makes it VIP. It doesn't seem bridezilla or OTT. I know. I'm mad that the other people said that she was a bridezilla. I don't like it. To take precautions, not to have big, ugly stains on your wedding dress. And the fact that Anna didn't seem sorry makes me feel like

she deserved to be kicked out. What if she did it on purpose? That's what like people are kind of speculating in the comments, it seems. Like remember that one story where one of the girl's best friends ended up being like a psychopath? Wait, no. The one who wrote in was like, I realize I'm a psychopath because she was a, she puts like, what do you call it? The stuff that makes you poop. Laxatives. Yeah. And her friends drink for like the most important test of her life. Oh my God. I feel like that was a, that's a Patreon story. So everyone that is not on our Patreon, one, you should be. And two, it was a story about someone who was very insecure about their friend and before a big important test that essentially decided their futures.

OP put laxatives in their drink. And she was like wrote in and was like, am I the asshole? I don't know why I did it. Like I love my friend, but I was just jealous. And then she, she wrote in like later and was just like, I found out that she didn't actually say I'm a psychopath, but she was like, there's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me. She did actually have, I think it came out that they were diagnosed, I don't remember, but I believe they were diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. So some people are speculating though, that it was intentional and someone goes, you're more charitable, charitable than I am. I was thinking deliberate act of sabotage. Same here, especially because she did not apologize. Yeah,

this was not an honest mistake. This is crazy. Someone responded though to the post and was like, have a vowel renewal in a few years and where then? And OP goes, that is a really great idea. I will bring this up with my husband. The cleaners have been able to mostly remove the stain, but if you look closely at it, there's still a slightly darker area in the lace. So the dress is okay, but not as pristine as it was. What area is it on on the dress? Maybe you can cover it with a belt or brooch to take away from the stain. Also, you can always do wedding announcement photos of you and your husband in the dress as well. And that's a great idea. I would actually do a stylized shoot and wear the dress. I love that idea. Yeah, I would definitely get

your pictures in it still. The renewed vows though, I really like that too. Yeah, I like that idea. OP responds to that and goes, it's towards the bottom of the dress about where the dress would hit my knee. Unless you're looking for a stain, you likely won't notice it. So it would be okay for pictures, but I notice it because I know there's a stain. So also, I'm kind of like thinking about this. If it's by the knee, I'm sure the dress was hanging. It was probably hanging. So you saw the front of the dress. So it was probably on the very front of the dress. So I guess from pictures from behind, you wouldn't have seen it. But then as she's walking down the aisle after, it would have been prime and center. So I just hate her, Anna. Anna, that is, let's be clear.

Yeah, I want to hear if there's like a follow up of what Anna has said. No, no comments on that. Yeah, no, Anna, you're done. No updates from OP, no comments about Anna. So I wouldn't reach out to her, I would be done. Yeah, no. And OP, people were like asking about the room and OP just goes, the room was pretty large and they were actually really far away from the dress. It shouldn't have been a problem. Anna walked over to the dress and that's what caused the damage. God, this might as well have been a wedding theme because I got a lot of freaking stories about weddings and fiancés. What's the next one? On that vibe. Let's do it.

Am I the asshole for telling my fiance to leave our own engagement party after she insulted my sister for once being a prostitute and a high school dropout? 34 male. When I was 14, my parents passed away in a car accident. We had a great aunt who was still alive, but she lived hours away and was considered too old and sickly to have custody of minors. My sister, 39 female Kate, was 19, so she was given custody of me and our little sister. I'm so sorry you guys, this is a heavy episode. To prevent us from becoming homeless and being thrown in foster care, Kate left school and worked as a prostitute. Doing that on top of a cashier job was the only way she could adequately pay our rent and buy food for us. It was only for a short time

as it allowed Kate to get enough money to take courses and become certified as a hairstylist. Kate eventually was able to get a GED and now owns her own beauty salon, but Kate admits her time as a prostitute was the darkest point in her life, and me and our little sister have never forgotten the sacrifice Kate made for us. At our engagement party, me and my fiance, 32 female Lily, were talking to Kate and her husband, John. Kate talked about her and John planning a Hawaiian vacation and wanting to go this year with my nephew, 2 male Phillip. They decided it would be better to just save for a few more years and focus some of their money on repairs for the salon. I agreed that it would also be better to

wait because Phillip will be older and able to remember and appreciate the trip. But then Lily sneered at Kate and said how, quote, if you want extra money, you can always quit the salon and go back to being a whore for a living. Wow. Not like anywhere else can trust a high school dropout with a job. What the fuck? No way. And she knows the dynamic. Look, I'm assuming you would know the dynamic. Kate started crying and John led her away to comfort her. I told Lily to go somewhere else immediately. I would tell Lily to go fuck herself somewhere else. It's off for the rest of her life. Done. I didn't care where she went. Just leave so I didn't have to look at her. Lily argued, but I snapped at her to get out of my sight until she left. My future in-laws are calling me heartless

and cruel towards Lily. They say that Lily is going to be my wife soon. So I can't just send her away every time we have a disagreement and should have done the mature thing by talking rather than publicly sending her away and humiliating Lily. She should be humiliated. I realized what I did was humiliating to Lily and it was not the greatest way to handle the situation. But I'm still struggling to look at Lily after knowing she thought those things about Kate. Was I the asshole for sending Lily away? No. No, I can't believe that. No. So the reason I was saying I was just having this conversation yesterday is because I think that there's sometimes where I've like been to strip clubs just for fun. And there has been some strip

clubs that make me sad because I feel like I'll see exploitive versus fun. It's one of those things where it makes you sad because you're like, are you doing this to feed your children? Or are you doing this because it's like fun for you and you love it and you're happy? Yeah. And so that like is heartbreaking when you see something like that. But yet those are the people that you want to support because you want them to have money. So it's kind of like conflicting. But um, but no, I, I just think that this is, that is the saddest thing that she could have possibly said to this woman who she gave up her life for these kids when she didn't have to. No. Because she didn't want them to go into a foster home. Like that is a selfless person.

Her whole future changed, her whole life changed, her whole trajectory. I mean, the sacrifice to be a parent at 19 to your siblings, 14 and uh, gosh, how old was the other one? Yeah. When I was 14, my parents passed away in a car accident, me and my little sister. So OP was 14. I doesn't say an age on the little sister, but like 14 is so young. Think of all of the crucial moments that happened from the time you're 14 until like you're 18 or 19. Your parents teach you how to drive prom, high school graduation, like the weight on her shoulders and to have no choice. Like a cashier job isn't going to support yourself and two kids. Oh, I fucking, I hate the minimum wage. The minimum wage pisses me off so much. I was just talking to someone

about this, how the minimum wage has not adjusted for inflation. And now you can't even support yourself on minimum wage. It's just despicable. Yeah. I just don't understand where this woman was coming from, where she thought that it was right to say that and not even that, but to use whore. Do you know what I mean? Like not even just like maybe it could have been sex worker, yeah, it could have been an innocent like whore, like if she genuinely was like, didn't think there's anything wrong with it, could have been, well, you could go back into prostitution. Even that's fucked up. But like for her to, you know, out of nowhere say that and recommend that whore has a lot of other implications. So it's like you were not just trying to be

actually helpful and come up with some ideas to make more money. You were being a fucking bitch. Well, I think it's funny how the in-laws too, the in-laws were calling my future in-laws are calling me heartless and cruel towards Lily. What the fuck was Lily just doing to Kate? Was that also not cruel and heartless? Lily seems like the person who's been a spoiled coddled bitch. Well, what did Lily say afterwards? Like, did she explain herself? So again, she tried to be funny. I got a bone to pick with Reddit because they removed, they removed it. I cannot even go see OP's comments. Because some people think stuff like that's funny and I don't know. Maybe she didn't know what she thought. It would like be a zinger. I don't know. I don't see any comments

from OP from a Rapids girl here, but there are some really great comments. So the top comment is a long one, not the asshole, but why are you marrying this person? Seriously. And not normally the type to say divorce on the first offense. And I've gotten flack here for recommending talking about this before rash action. But Lily being so pointlessly cruel to your sister for no particular reason has more red flags than Moscow on a May Day parade at the height of the Soviet Union. Your sister went through hell to put food on the table for you and your younger sister. Lily didn't give a shit about that. And by extension, doesn't give a shit about your childhood, which is so true. Because OP is at where he's at because of his sister. And he is because of her. Exactly.

And her sacrifices. And that's why I'm like the only excuse and not that this again, not this is an excuse, but the only way that I could be like, all right, we can forgive her and move on from this is if she thought that it was going to be everyone was going to laugh and it was just like playful. Because who knows, maybe the sister does make jokes about it. Like back in the day when I was a whore, like maybe she says that on the side sometimes. And so then the fiance was like, oh, everyone will laugh, which is still just like not appropriate. But like, if that's where she was coming from, then I think maybe it could be resolved. But as of right now, I'm like, I would, I would also be like, I don't want to be with you. I feel like in that moment

though, when you saw that person getting upset, that's where you damage control and immediately say, Hey, oh my God, Kate, I'm, that was, that was so like distasteful. That was tacky. I don't know what the fuck came over me. I'm drunk. I'm fucked up. I'm an idiot, whatever. I'm so sorry. Right. I did not mean that in the way it came across. I was trying to be lighthearted, which I don't know how you could with that language, but no, you could at least then apologize and do damage control, but she didn't. There was no remorse. There was no trying to chase after Kate and make it, make it right. Right. Which makes me believe she believes it. Right. And she does view her in a negative light because of what she did. Yeah. She's better than Kate. I agree.

She's on a different level. Does she, does he say anything about the type of language that his sister says? Because I am, I'm now, I'm like thinking through, I have some friends that will say stuff like that, like, uh, back when I was a whore, and I would hook up with all these guys and all that stuff, you know, but like, I wouldn't say that to my friend. No, I wouldn't be like, oh, like when you were a whore, but some people maybe they don't realize that that's like not boo you whore. Yeah. Right. Yeah. This is so different. So I'm, so I'm just wondering if like, if no, he says anything about the language that his sister usually uses, if there could be some like, I do have an update. Okay. I had to like scounge for it. I'm literally, this is when you

called yourself a scoundrel. I'm a scoundrel. I'm literally the fucking moderators. You guys, like, if you're an anti the asshole moderator, please do better because it's, it's brutal out here. I'm literally reading this update off one of those Reddit videos that like reads Reddit stories with an AI voice to a Minecraft game or something. Like I'm, I feel pathetic. I've never done this before on the history of this show. Damn. But I couldn't leave you guys hanging. Yeah. So I'm sucking it up. I'm sucking on my pride. Speaking of AI, I've been going deep into AI in like every format, podcasts, shows, like, it's a scary shit. Okay. So update wise. Oh my God. It's so hard to read stuff off a video.

So OP says, thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post. The response from Yogi monster for me was the most insightful, but I tried to read as many responses as I could. There were too many responses to reply to individually. So I will try to answer the two main questions I saw, which I'm going to look up Yogi monster real quick, just to see. That's like when somebody says they hate us or something and their username is like, kitty loves meow meows. And we're like, really? I know. There was a take you seriously. So Yogi monsters comment is one of the most awarded. It's a little further down than the top. So that's why I didn't see it, but it's, it's way down and it's got a red box. So it's special. I gilded this because of all the

posts I've read on here. I really hope OP listens to this one. Your sister put herself through hell to provide for y'all. She did things that she can never take back and she will likely never forget all in the name of putting a roof over y'all's head and food on the table. That's love. Unbashed, uncompromising and unbreakable love. Not a ton of people would have had the strength to do that. Your sister deserves all the support you can give her. And I sincerely hope you take the ring back. In many states, engagement rings are considered conditional gifts and can be reclaimed if the engagement is called off. Sell it and cherish the relationship you have with your sister. That could give her the money that uh-huh. Fix the shop, go to Hawaii.

I will say if you want to ensure that the engagement ring is a conditional gift, do not give it on a holiday or like Valentine's Day or a big like anniversary because then it can be considered a not conditional gift and just a gift. Just don't tell my future boyfriend that. So they go on to say, this is your chance to show your sister how seriously you take her sacrifice and how much she means to you. All bold. This is a big fucking deal and absolutely needs to be an instant engagement and relationship ender. If you don't, you are telling your sister that you can forgive someone who went out of their way for no other purpose than to hurt her. Don't. Your sister deserves better. Editing to add, Lily deserved

to be humiliated. She said something wholly unacceptable to your sister which served no purpose other than to object cruelty and snark. I'm not a parent, but if my kids said something like that, I would apologize on their behalf profusely and then kick myself for apparently failing as a parent to instill value. Lily's parents have all the integrity and value of a microwaved plastic spoon. Would love an update from OP on the aftermath and what you choose to do. Yeah, that's so true. Which is where we pick back up. The parents being like, how could you embarrass her? Because she did something really shitty. That's what I mean. Like where I get the vibe that Lily is like a golden child. Yeah, I see it. She can do no wrong. I picture like it's

Lily's world and everyone else is just living in it. My Disney brain is like, I'm picturing the- Girl from Princess and the Frog? No, I was the step-daughters in any Cinderella movie. I've watched them all many times. And I just like spit on myself. Yeah, you love the Camilla Cabello version the most. Obsessed. Obsessed. I watch it all the time. She got so much flack for that too. I have no idea how. Poor thing. Because it is pure art. Okay, I need to watch it because Idina Menzel is in there too. I hope I'm pronouncing that right. Probably not. Who she plays Elsa in Frozen. Did I? Never mind. I told you about the guy that's now dating her, right? Camilla Cabello? No. Oh yeah, he's this guy who like hit on me once

and like, God damn. And try to invite me out and I was just like, whatever, moved on. Yeah. And then he started dating her and I was like, oh my god. I was like, good for you dude. You go buddy. Yeah. I love that for him. Well, and it made me feel cool by like by association. Exactly. Oh my god. I love that for you. No, Camilla Cabello's boyfriend tried to hit on me once. Sounds like a plug. So, OP goes on to say for his update, Kate is the one who told Lily about her past. Kate has told all of our close family members who did not already know. It was an extremely dark point in Kate's life, but Kate says she believes those experiences have made her a part of who she is now and wants to be open with others about them and how they affected her life.

Kate told me Lily seemed sympathetic when she told her, which again, big fuck you when someone tells you something in confidence and you use it against them. Yeah. Lily, you're fucking trash. In the last two weeks, I've been doing reflecting after Lily said what she said about Kate. It's made me think back to other times when Lily has made cruel comments about my family or other people that I either forgot about or tried to tell myself weren't big deals until now. It has made me realize Lily has shown more of this ugly side as the idea of marriage was becoming more serious. I realized that marrying Lily will only allow her to hurt my family more. My decision had already been made, but your responses were the final confirmation to me. So now I am no longer marrying

Lily. It is very painful because I have become close with several of my no longer in-laws who are innocent in the situation. I will miss them dearly because it is because it is not their fault and they have no control over it, but I do not regret my decision to end my relationship with Lily because I know it is what I need to do to protect my family. Thank you everyone again for your kind words and helpful advice towards me. That must be so hard and I'm so proud of him. I know. Honestly, it is hard to do. You are on the ninth yard or whatever it is. You are there. You invested so much time and love and energy into not just her, but everything around her. It is like to just make that call. I am just so proud of him because he knew that is what was

best. I hope that girl gets rocked by this. I hope she gets fucking rocked and learned something. It reminds me of- People like that make it about themselves though. She will find a way to twist it. My fiance was just not. He did not have a backbone. If she is a narcissist, then yeah, there is no hope. But if she is not, then it will maybe rock her and be like, holy shit. Why am I so bitter about other people? Where is this jealousy and anger coming from that I feel like I need to bring other people down like that? It reminds me- Did you ever watch Little Fires Everywhere? Oh, with Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington? And it's a book too. No, and it is on my list. So thank you for reminding me. It's good. I love the two of them. At first, I'm like,

why am I watching this? Everyone sucks. It's like the Reddit post when it's just like everyone sucks here. But then it becomes so poetic towards the end. And there's just this one interaction between a couple. One of the girls in high school, she does something that her boyfriend just can't look at her the same. He's like, I want to love you. But what you did was so wrong that I just can't look at you the same again. I can't get over it. And there's just certain things where it's just like, it doesn't necessarily make somebody a bad person, but you just know that you can't get past that. You can't get past it. And they're just not people that should be in your life anymore. They can still be a good person and learn from it and go

about their ways. But they might just not be the person for you anymore. Yeah, which is fair. I'm really glad Opie realized that about this lady. Me too. It's so bad. Okay, moving on. That was a heavy wedding front, but it's okay because it's still kind of wedding season and a lot of people are getting engaged and things like that. So it's good. It's good. So I will say a lot of the stories I found today are from like collaborating with you guys on the Two Hot Takes subreddit. So I want to keep plugging that because I lately have been posting my episode themes ahead of time and letting everyone like link posts that they like, or I wanted to become a place where you could share your personal stories on it too, because it's way easier for

me to like condense and have everything in one place. So a lot of them have like come from that post on the Two Hot Takes subreddit. I found this next story because of someone posting it on the Two Hot Takes subreddit as well because they took screenshots because I'm sure you can all guess it got deleted. So thank you educationalpop8809 on the Two Hot Takes subreddit for this next one. Am I the asshole for going to see if my daughter would babysit my youngest against her wishes? I, 47 female, have eight kids. Millie, 30, Dewey, 27, Janelle, and Joelle, oh my god, Janelle and Joelle, 25, Joshua, 21, Jennifer, 17, Paris, 13, and my youngest, Micah, six. Micah was a huge, just the whole Brady bunch there. Micah was a huge surprise since the majority

of my kids were all grown up and moved out. I love the name Micah. It's cute. Me and my husband are a lot older now and need more help with a child. Jennifer and Paris help, but they could only do so much. So I usually bring Micah to her siblings' houses so they could spend time together. It's twice a week with different siblings. It's only for three to seven hours and I always let them know when I bring Micah. They rarely complain and I give them a hundred dollars to do something with her. Well, Millie had a baby. Recently, Millie had told me not to bring Micah to her house. She doesn't want the stress of another child who isn't hers. I was quite offended and told her, quote, well, I raised seven. I've been asking my other kids if they will take her, but they can't.

Well, recently I've been getting headaches and I think it's due to stress. I need a day off so I decided to check if Millie would take her. I went over and she immediately screamed, all caps, no, out, out, out. As she rushed us out the door outside, she said, I am too busy for this. I have my own child now. I cannot watch her leave. She then went inside and locked the door. I rang the doorbell and stayed for a couple minutes. Eventually I left annoyed. I later talked to my husband and kids. Dewey said I need to think about Millie and her stress as a new mom. Joelle said I was an asshole for going against her wishes and Janelle said that she couldn't believe me. Joshua didn't want to talk. My husband sides with me. Am I the asshole?

Wait, did I miss something? I don't think so. And this is going to be a trick one, I think, for you because who do you think I think needs to get thrown away? Well, if you said it's a trick one, then it should be the one that's less obvious. So you probably think it's the mom that needs to get tossed. Yeah, like the OG mom. Yeah. Why are they so angry? Like, why are the kids so angry? I don't think the kids are necessarily angry. I think the mom kind of went to all the kids for reassurance that like, hey, was I so wrong? I went to Millie and just asked, I only asked Millie to watch Micah for maybe seven hours, which lady, that's a work day. That's a long time. It's not like, hey,

30 minutes, I got to run a target. That's a full fucking day. And so I think she went to the kids as like trying to get reassurance from them and they all kind of like set her straight and was like, no, like, you're not respecting Millie. What do you mean? Also, if you look at the dynamics of like the birth order and this family, Millie is the oldest. Millie is the oldest at 30. So hearing from, for me, when I read this, hearing how this mom acts like very entitled to her children and her children's time, I feel like Millie probably had to deal with a lot of parent, parentification. Yeah, you're so right. Where Millie had to raise her other siblings. And so for OP to be like, well, I raised seven. It's like, did you though? Or was Millie a big

part of raising other kids? That's actually such a good point. And Millie's just at her fucking wit's end with you. And that happens like even without, I mean, without even trying, because it's like, if you have that many people in the family, everyone needs to kind of pull some weight. Otherwise, it's just like not going to function. It's not sustainable. So it's like, even if she didn't actively like put it on Millie, it's I'm sure it was constantly something Millie had to deal with. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Well, and there's times, I mean, I look at my life. And yeah, I had to drive my brother to baseball practice while my mom was working. There's times where you need to step up. And like you said, exactly like you said. But in Millie's case,

what did that look like? And to then like your mom got pregnant and has a six year old and is expecting you to. Yeah. Also, it's like her excuse, like she is only 47. So to have a six year old at 47, like, that's fine. Like a lot of people are having children later now in life. And so granted, okay, that makes her she had Lily at 17. So young mom, whatever. But it's like, those were the choices you made. You made that it's your bed, you get to lie in it. And all of your other kids, like Jennifer is 17 in Paris is 13, which she says here, she's expecting those kids, they watch Micah too, but they can only do so much. You're only really responsible, 17 and 13, 13 is still young. But then you only really

have like where you're parenting, parenting, and like really having to do things for two kids. Well, and like you said, it was her decision. And there was a TikTok that I saw that I've mentioned before on the podcast, but it was a mom who was explaining her dynamic with her daughter. And she was saying, I believe that I earn the respect out of my children and I don't just automatically get it because I'm their mother. I love that. No. And she was saying, she's like, it was my decision to bring you into this world. You didn't decide. And so it's on me to gain your respect. I love that. That's such a refreshed take. Yeah. Because so many parents, I remember growing up, I had a neighbor that we were really close with. And whenever her kids would like

test her patience, she would be like, you know what? I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it. It's the worst line ever. And I'm like, you fucking psychopath, like you could not murder your child. And so a lot of parents have that mentality though. It's funny that that's like a known phrase though. It's like, I'm sorry, what? That's not normal, lady. So I love that. That's a very refreshed take because it's not normal. And it kind of has become a meme where people are like, I didn't ask for this life. I didn't ask to be brought into this world. Taxes, buying a house, like I didn't ask for this. So that's amazing to see a patient or a patient, a parent say that even back in OT. I am missing it a lot lately. So top comment on this one though.

You're the asshole. You haven't raised seven kids yet. You're 13 and seven year old aren't raised yet. And you are pushing your six year old on them. If you can't handle eight, then you shouldn't have had eight. It's not millies or any of your other children's responsibility to raise number eight for you. Hire someone to help you and let your kids live their lives. Yeah. Which you're giving them $100 every time they watch your kid. You could hire a babysitter. Yeah. True. Or like find a camp that your kid's gonna have fun going to camp and make friends. Yeah. There's activity camps. The kid is six. It's the perfect age to send them to an activity camp. Also, when they're in school, they're in school by this point. And if you're homeschooling lady,

if you're out there in your homeschooling, find one of those co-ops. I like when Morgan says lady. Lady. If you're out there lady. Yeah, little goofball. Yeah. Next comment kind of quotes what OP said. I needed a day off. So I decided to check if Millie would take her. I went over there and she immediately screamed, no, out, out, out. And there you go. For real? And who doesn't call first before just dropping in on a new mother with a six year old in tow? Next comment. Entitled parents who think they can pull one over on both their eldest and their youngest. Damn. Yeah. Post has been deleted. Users been deleted. So you watch Taylor a lot. I guess you guys were kind of close in age though. Yeah. So me and my younger brother are two and a half years apart. I would say yes

when I was in like my junior and senior year of high school. My mom is an amazing mom. I love my mom, but I mean, she was busy working a lot. And so that was one of the reasons I almost didn't go to the University of Minnesota. And I had mental breakdowns about I was like crying every night before making my decision because I felt really, really bad abandoning my brother and moving to Minneapolis from Duluth because I felt like he needed me and, you know, whatever. But, you know, my mom was like, no, he'll be fine. Like I'm, I got it, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I, from my perspective, um, I felt like I, I really did help out a lot and was, you know, it was me and Taylor and against the world. So, and like maybe that wasn't my burden and my mom didn't explicitly

put that on me like this mom did, but that's what I felt at times. And so it was, it was a really tough decision for me. Me and my brother were, I don't, we're two years apart, but like we're one grade apart. And it was just like not like that at all. My older sisters would watch us, but like me and my brother, if we were left home alone, it was not like he was watching me. No. If anything, like my mom would probably have had me watch him. Well, and so Taylor, despite it's, it's really like, yeah, it's two and a half, but it's three age years. And, um, my mom, um, because his birthday was a weird spot, like he didn't go to kindergarten as like turning five. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, no four grades apart. So my high school was like freshman to senior. And so we were never in that high

school together. So I graduated and then he had his freshman year. So we were like, even though it's age wise, it's not that it's like, it seems so far, so far apart. Yeah. No, I, my brother, he was really old for his grade and I was very young for my grade. And yeah, we, we were just one year apart or one grade apart, but it's like, if we were home alone, like I got lucky if he would like give me like the leftovers of his ramen noodles. Oh my God. Or he'd make like a Jack's pizza and I'm like, I can definitely have one slice. Nope. Eat the entire thing. Michael. He would just put it on one plate and like eat it like that. I'll like not even cut it. Oh my God. What a savage. Yeah. So rude. Kind of impressive though. Yeah. It is. There's some great comments

on the screenshot of this on the two hot takes subreddit. Someone even goes on here. I like, oh, just kidding. That's a comment from me. I'm so fucking dumb. You're like, this is a real good one. Well, no. So I go, I literally just like scanned and I go, I asked people on the sub on the page on the Reddit and I was like, y'all think this fits the throw her away theme. And I was going to say, I was really going to say, oh my God, someone like saw the post and commented that it should be part of the theme. I got really excited. But no, it's, it's just me. It's called delusional self love. And we're all doing it these days. I need you more of it. Did you see my Instagram post? No, it was this meme and it was like no more self hate delusional

self love only. I need to embrace that energy. No, I like it. I love that. Yeah. But no comments from OP that I see and Millie, you set those boundaries girl. Good job. Good for you. I just can't believe she shoot her mom though out of her. I would have. Fuck that. Like, do you know what you mean? Like I'm just like picturing her like actually like with a broom, like shooting her. Oh, I can just see it. Like no, no, out, out, out. Cause I'm sure she didn't knock. She probably just like walked in the front door. So true. And it's like, no. Yeah. Millie's probably at her wit's end. If she's a new mom, Millie's just trying to get her bearings with a baby. Did you watch shameless at all? No, I couldn't get into it. Oh, I loved it for a while. But then when like

I just wanted to fucking kill Frank. Yeah, I couldn't, I couldn't handle it. He's bad. But like it deadbeat it's just like Fiona, you just makes you have so much respect for people in situations like that where their parents are just like fuckers and they ended up like taking all the slack and helping raise children that they didn't choose to bring into the world. You know, that is kind of the vibe. Yeah. That's what I'm picturing here. Yeah. Millie's a little Fiona. Millie's a baddie. Replacement windows by Amzco windows are masterfully crafted right here in Utah at prices you can afford. Our windows combine energy efficiency, sturdy design, and great colors, including black. Choose from several options, styles, and colors

to create the perfect fit. With over 30 million units installed, Amzco windows is a time tested industry leader. For more information, visit amzkowindows.com. Request a quote and mention this ad and you'll receive 15% off amzkowindows.com. Moving along, another fiance from hell. Where are they finding these women? So this is from the subreddit, true off my chest, and it's titled, my fiancee cost me a $300,000 opportunity. Jesus. For the last six months, I've been looking to jump to a new job. I just got my master's in cybersecurity from an Ivy League school and I've had multiple offers that my current employer cannot compete with.

My biggest disappointment, however, was being ghosted for what was essentially my dream job, a security auditor job for one of the biggest manufacturers in the business. It would have required me to travel around a lot for work, but other than travel, I would work maybe 20 hours a week remotely and the paycheck was 300K more a year than what I make now. I went through two rounds of interviews and I clicked with the managers. Then they ghosted me. I was devastated, but moved on and am looking to start next month with another great employer. My fiance hated the idea of me getting the original job. However, I would be gone for weeks, sometimes a month at a time, multiple times a year. She wanted to start a family and told me she didn't want to raise our

future children alone, even if she could quit her job and be a stay at home mom. She refused to talk about it as well, shaming me for even considering the job. When it would put us in a financial situation, I could only have dreamed of as a kid. Maybe if we talked about it, we could have found some middle ground, but honestly, maybe this would have been the inconsolable difference that ended our relationship. What did she do? I'm on the edge of my seat right now. This week, I got the call that could have resulted in me murdering my fiance. That's a little 0 to 100 here. One of the managers at the dream company called me up and said that they were heartbroken when I backed out of the process, but they just had an opening

for a job that would not require any travel. I was so confused and learned that not only was I selected for the third round of interviews, two of the three senior managers at the company wanted to offer me the job by the third round. Unfortunately, I sent them an email after the second round saying that after discussing it with my fiance that the traveling was a deal breaker and I would need to back out. Oh, my God. I immediately knew that my fiance went behind my back and sent that email. That job was probably the best thing I could have ever asked for. Its salary was twice what I will be making at my new job. It's with the biggest manufacturer in the sector and it could have been a fast track position for management. I had to excuse myself

through tears from the call and hang up on the manager in the middle of it. I don't know how to write this without blood on my hands. My fiance went behind my back to ruin probably the best opportunity in my career without any possibility of coming to some sort of consensus between us. She went an entire month refusing to talk to me about this, shaming me for even considering taking the job. I'm livid beyond any sense of the word. When she came home that day, I saw red when she walked in the door. I don't know how I didn't flip my shit. I don't know what restraint I had that allowed me to let her leave this house unscathed after what she did to me. This is kind of scary. Chill out. Calm down, bro. Calm down.

Remember, we're throwing her away, not you. Chill. I told her that I knew what she did. She tried to apologize but I refused to hear any of it. I told her that she needed to get out of the house for her own safety. She called. Damn, this guy is kind of scary. He's a little unhinged. Yeah. I didn't realize it went this off the walls. She called and texted me multiple times and I've ignored it. Deleted every voicemail and text without even considering hearing her out. I finally answered this morning and didn't get a minute in before I burst into tears and hung up. I know that if I see her face again, I won't be able to hold back next time.

The last few days have put me in the darkest place of my life. I just got done texting her that it's over and we're through. That when she plans to come to get her stuff, I need to be out of the house for very obvious reasons. I'm considering talking to a lawyer to see if there's a chance to hold her accountable but I doubt it. Damn. I don't understand how people think that they... Sometimes when people are in relationships or friendships or family or whatever, anything, they just have this idea that they have a certain amount of control over another person and that just blows my mind. Why do you think that's within your control? You guys aren't even married yet. They're not married. This is still all bets off until you say I do as your dad loves

society. That does sound familiar. Anyway, that was cute. No, I just don't understand where people can just have the audacity to do something like that. It's just wild to me. I don't understand. There's a lot here that isn't really adding up for me. One, you don't have kids yet. You're not even married. Let him take the job and then when you do get married and you're down the road, you have a great little cushy life nest egg for your kids. That amount of money a year is what some people make in their lifetime of work. Yeah, 100%. Over 300K. It was a 300K increase. Wow. It's double what he's making at his next job so he's going to make 150. Yeah. That's an insane salary. The average worker in America, do you want me to tell you what the average salary in America is?

There's this phrase while you're looking that up that has always stuck with me. I saw it when, I don't know, over a decade ago, but it's like relationships are like holding sand in your hand. You have to hold them delicately. The more that you squeeze, the more that they fall through your fingers. Okay, Confucius. Yeah. Well, I look at stuff like this and it's just how ironic is it that she did this to make him closer to her. She squeezed him so hard to be like, no, I'm not letting you out of my sight. And yet she got rid of him completely by doing that. Yeah. It's the irony of that. I know. Wow, that was a really great quote. And so true. It's almost like that other saying too, where it's like, you can't like hug something so tight otherwise

you'll suffocate it or whatever it is. Average salary in the United States is, according to this, which is Intuit, which is like a tax service thing. I don't know, 56,000. My new neighbor works at Intuit. Oh my God, magical. So I mean, the dude would have made how many times the average in America? Don't make me do the math. It's 300 divided by 60, 56. I don't know how to do it, but I don't want to do it. Someone can do it for me, but it's a lot. Yeah. So that just doesn't make sense to me. It's like, you're imagining all these what ifs, but it's like, you're not even married yet. You don't have kids. Also, the stonewalling, so unhealthy to like not even have a conversation about it. And like,

it kind of like makes me think she does think he's controllable. Kind of like what you said, where you think that you have like such a dictation over your partner's life or someone else's life when it's like, no, this is your partner, and you should have a conversation about it. And if it's a deal breaker for you, be thankful you discovered it now before you got married. The whole sabotaging people with jobs thing is pretty evil. That's their livelihood. Yeah. And their happiness too. It's like what you do day to day, more hours than the weekend, so you want to enjoy it. And there was a girl that I worked with at ADP, became good friends with her, but she was telling me about these girls from her college where they created an

Instagram account to post that only it was private and only like these five or seven girls, however many there were, had access to this Instagram and they would upload pictures of them each other drunk. And they'd all just laugh about it and comment on it. And it was only allowed for seven people. Well, they would have pictures of them like naked, like in a tub, like drunk. Like they posted it on the internet. No, this one girl took all of the pictures. She was mad at a friend and she took all of the pictures and she just got this really great job right out of college and she emailed them all to like her bosses. She looked them up on LinkedIn and figured out like who was she was about to start a job with, emailed them all. And they ended

up coming back and saying that they, after they just like couldn't, they, they've, I forget how it worked that they at first said that they didn't know if they could hire her anymore. They needed to like, that's revenge porn. Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. And they were like, we don't know how to like address this situation. So we need to put your, a start date on hold while we, yeah. And so anyway, they, they eventually like, they had this whole thing. They made sure they went through all the like, the proper channels. Yeah. And they ended up hiring her still, but it was like, well, they didn't, well, they, it was hard to know which one, because there was still seven of them that were in the Instagram account. Do you know what

you mean? It's not, they sent it from a private email. Exactly. So it was like, the girl knew it was her, but she didn't have direct proof that it was. So that's why you don't send nudes to people. I know people don't trust anyone. Don't trust anyone. And I think like, hey, you want to get sexy and send nudes to your, your partner. That's fine. But don't put your face in it. Don't put your face in stuff, but also if you're going to send it, I don't care if you go on Snapchat and like add it. I don't care if you have Photoshop, whatever you do, add a watermark on that picture that you send. So if like a watermark with a number, so if you're sending the same picture to multiple people, this is, I've seen this stuff. So if I was going to send like,

say I was single and I had two guys on the roster and I was going to send pictures to people, I would send a picture with a sneaky little watermark in the corner or like on my body. So it doesn't like get cropped or whatever that says like, like Morgan two. And I know two went to Tom and then I'm going to put number three and oh, I sent three to Gregory. And so, you know, if it gets leaked, you can trace it exactly back to who you sent it to. Damn. I've seen people do that, especially like, I used to get a lot of like only fans content oddly on TikTok and I think I picked it up from that, but watermark your shit. Yeah, that makes sense. And like, it doesn't have to be your name. You could literally be like bunny 2021, like whatever you want to do.

But like, if it gets leaked and people use it against you, then you know who is leaking it. Yeah. But again, don't put your face in shit. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing with this girl too is like she's starting a brand new job and now, and this was back when everyone's in person. And now it's like all of her coworkers have seen her completely naked. Terrible. Or like all the management at least. So it's just like already just like that sucks. Well, that's like everyone when I was in college and I don't know. I think I might have been like kind of on the outskirts of it. And it was like people that I was friends with that were like kind of a lot younger than me, but people would have like Finstas and like post the worst pictures

of themselves, the drunkest pictures of themselves, like the most incriminating stuff on their Finstas. And some of my friends is like Finstas still had hundreds of followers and it's like, you don't know what people are going to use against you. Yeah. Like putting that vulnerable stuff out there that can like damage you, your life, your career, anything like don't do it. I think that's what's hard about thinking about having kids and like younger generations, even like Gen Z is where I'm like, they've grown up with the internet so embedded in their whole lives. Like for me and you, we were on the fringe that like the internet was like this new thing. Okay, but I will say that people are so much more careful now because people are so quick to cancel

everybody. Whereas like when we like first had internet and stuff, like I would see people like post on their Facebook status and be like, my brother's a fucking idiot. I hope he dies. And I'm like, okay, that's not something that you want to have posts on the internet forever, honey. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's, it's, it is crazy. I mean, you look at like influencers and people that have had like tweets and stuff resurface and it's like, yeah, because people used to like use it as like their diary and like no one really gave a shit. And now that people do, they go and find that and then they cancel them. So it's like everyone, even though, yes, like they're so much more embedded, but it's like at least people are

like way more careful of what they're putting out there. Yeah, I hope so. I hope for the younger generations, they're more reserved and especially like if you have children, I would highly recommend like doing a little research. I just saw something on TikTok about this child named Ren and the way that pedophiles and sex traffickers and people are using pictures of children that parents just post on Instagram. I hate that. Disgusting. Do not post pictures of your kids in the bathtub. Do not post pictures of your kids in swimsuits. Like, and that sounds like... That's so hard. Like the bathtub, I get like, but the swimsuit, it's like, but you want to just like share like these fun moments sucks. Yeah. But at the same time, like it's such a weird thing. Can you imagine

like going on your mom's Instagram and like being able to scroll and see yourself in a baby, like as a baby in a bathtub? Like these kids nowadays have such a different experience than we did. My bathtub pictures are in a fucking hat box in my mom's closet. So my mom, we were like, mom, where's all our home videos? And she's like, I'm scared they're all rude. We're like, what? She's like, they're in a storage unit. Like it's really hot in the summer. I don't even want to look because I think they're all rude. And we're like, mom, you can, um, you can convert VHS to digital now. My dad's, but not if it's like, what if they, like the tapes are like melted? Well, that's a different story, but I feel like VHS is definitely have a temperature they're fine at.

Let's hope so. You should maybe get on that this summer. Yeah. August trip. Yeah. For the live show. Yeah. August 18th. It was just funny. She's like, I don't want to look. I don't want to know. My god. So back to this dude. Yes. Top comment on this one is, it's got a lot of words too. Gets a job in, I can't even say it. Gets a job in cybersecurity, gets hacked by girlfriend, irony. Oh God. He probably didn't like that one. Poor, poor man. I know I feel really bad for him, but I also, I'm like, you need to get some anger management for how you wrote this because you did like death threats like three different times in that post. I know. I wonder if he like doesn't mean it though. And

it's like, I don't think he does, but like you're posting and again, it's anonymous. So he's like probably like, yeah, whatever. But it's like, it's just, yeah, no one's, and maybe this is just jarring to me because it's like all every time that you read off posts, I'm like, how do these people sound so together for something so ridiculous? So this one sounds like the guy's actually just writing in the heat of the moment as if he's like in his diary. And so maybe that's why it's like shocking to me, but I mean, I know this is a woman episode, but because of toxic masculinity in this country and the way we raise boys or have raised boys, I think it's, it's getting better, men are quick to resort to violence. Yeah. And that's my perspective. That's what I've encountered.

I mean, it's come up a lot recently with like mass shootings and where like the mass shooters have been meant. Yeah. Well, I saw that girl that you just had on. Remember I put comment on the post and I was like, I need to watch this. This looks great. Oh, Hannah. Yeah, Hannah. And I looked at her page and she had this little like zinger. I keep saying that word. Sorry if it's annoying. I love it. But she was saying how they found out that like 75% of dog bites. Unneutered males. Unneutered males. It wasn't actually pit bulls. And she's like, so it got me thinking that humans, it was what like 75% of any like violence or whatever is unneutered males. She's hilarious. I was like, get a vasectomy, everyone. Just kidding. Well,

hey, honestly, vasectomies totally not like that's like spreading like false information that will not make you like a different person. No, no, no, vasectomies. Like I don't, I don't actually, vasectomies. It doesn't do anything with their, I don't think so. And we can back check this, but I don't think vasectomies affect actual testosterone levels or hormone changes. It just essentially separates the vast difference so that you don't get sperm from the testes ejaculated. Yeah, I was, my friend was explaining to me what they do and she literally took my iPhone cord and tied it to a tight knot. And I was like, those things break without you trying. What are you doing to my cord?

Vasectomies had no long-term effect on the level of sexual hormones in men, and it did not crease the level of PSA. I think that guy should get vasectomies. If I was a guy, I would 1000% get a vasectomy. Yeah. Do you know how many people accidentally get pregnant? Yeah. If you don't want a kid, that's a good bet and regularly test your sperm, because the things like the cut or whatever they do can grow back. And so that's what they do. They cut it completely and then tie both ends. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. So they sever the vast difference. And so she explained it differently. She tied my iPhone cord. No, it's not just a tie. They sever it and then tie both ends. Okay. And so sometimes it can form back together and

whatever. But I mean, it's likely reversible and like maybe just put 100% or is it reversible? It's not 100%. Okay. Then maybe this isn't as, I'm not going to push for this as much as I thought. It's like the odds are way better. I mean, even like getting your tube tied is reversible for women. But vasectomies. See, I haven't taken birth control since you're on birth control. No, I haven't taken it since college. Same. Yeah. Wow. Really? Yeah. No, oops. Baby's here. But I'm very, very, very good. Like I track everything. I, ovulation time, I'm like, wrap it up, pull out. Like we are, we're double, we're double careful. That's good. Because I'm, I just can't, birth control made me extremely suicidal.

Yeah. I've heard that before and before we get too far. Okay. The effectiveness of vasectomy reversal is up to 90 to 95%. Okay. Which is pretty high. Yeah. But I still, that would make me nervous if I was a guy and I really wanted kids like. Put some on ice. Just turkey based your wife later. This doesn't cost a lot of money to. You can actually home, home turkey based. Did you know that? I just saw a cup, a TikTok from a lesbian couple that ordered sperm online, got it shipped to their house and just turkey based it themselves. Apparently it's more cost effective than the clinics. Artificial insemination is, it's evolving. Very cool the options we have these days. Another AI thing for me to research. I have been literally like. I don't think that's AI.

But I know, but artificial insemination, it's like the same. Oh my God, it does stand for AI. Look at you. Artificial intelligence. You're quicker than me. Yeah. No, I have just been down the rabbit hole. It's so fascinating to me. And it's one of those things where we're also not going to experience like what is going to happen in our lifetime, most likely. But I think it's going to be crazy, the type of artificial intelligence that they come out with. Oh, they're going to, we're going to be, it's going to be an eye robot situation. I firmly believe that. Also, everyone go watch humans on Amazon Prime. It's so good. If you are interested in robots and like that type of like sci-fi potential future. Okay. Okay.

Any other comments on a murderous 300k guy? No. So he's done with the wife. He's, what else has he said? Nothing else. Is he going to like get, like go back to the company? The thing is, is like, I feel like he could work his way back to it. Yeah. Especially they love him that much. And they're like, we want you to take another job. It's redeemable. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bump in the road, but you'll, I think you'll still get to the same point. Right. And you ditched a shitty wife in the process, fiance wife, whatever. Yeah. And that's something like, again, that's a situation where, you know, she made a bad call. Doesn't mean that she's a horrible human in general, but it's one of those things where you might just not be able to ever

look at her again. And it's best that you guys go separate ways. Yep. I can really agree. Replacement windows by Amsco windows are masterfully crafted right here in Utah at prices you can afford. Our windows combine energy efficiency, sturdy design, and great colors, including black, choose from several options, styles and colors to create the perfect fit. With over 30 million units installed, Amsco windows is a time tested industry leader. For more information, visit Amsco windows.com, request a quote and mention this ad and you'll receive 15% off. Amsco windows.com. Okay, a couple more for us here. This one was posted 19 days ago. Lots of awards. And it's another one from off my chest. My girlfriend left me for putting

the Christmas tree up. I was singlehandedly raised by my grandfather. He is like a father to me. He did his best to give me a normal childhood and an effort to try to make up for my father not being there. My grandfather loves Christmas. He has always made sure that we had the best day ever. We weren't well off and most of his gifts were handmade. This made it even more special because he was very good at creating things from wood and they were fascinating. He taught me everything I know and I'm so grateful for that. We would bake cookies and make delicious dinner from scratch and sit by the fire doing puzzles. We still live together and I'm the one taking care of him now. My girlfriend stays with us and has been a year of that now. My grandfather has been

unwell for a while and he is only getting worse. The doctor does not think he will make it until the end of this year. I am very devastated and I feel like my whole world is falling apart, but I'm trying not to show it. On a particularly bad day for him, my grandfather asked me, is it Christmas yet? And when I said no, he continued to tell me how he can't wait for it and how he will make me a bookshelf for all of my books. He hasn't been able to make anything in years because of his arthritis. This conversation broke my heart and on a whim, I decided that we will have Christmas in July. This did not go down well with my girlfriend. She kept saying it was a waste of time and that it's weird to want to act like it's Christmas when it's not. When I insisted

and put up the tree and decorations inside the house, she called me crazy and threatened to leave. She said my grandfather is not a child and even kids can wait until Christmas. I told her that this Monday, when I finally get a day off, it's Christmas whether she likes it or not. She could either choose to be a part of it or she could do what she thinks is best for her, but I would love her support. Well, when I came back from work, she was gone and so were her clothes. As for my grandfather and I, we have already started watching Christmas movies when I come back from work, if he isn't in bed yet. I can't even begin to explain just how much he loves it. I will get us silly matching pajamas and try to get some of his favorite things,

wrap them up and put them under the tree. I will also make us a nice Christmas lunch and hopefully light up the fireplace if it's not too hot, which is so unlikely. Maybe I'm going crazy, but I just want to do this for us even if it seems stupid. Merry Christmas. No, that's not stupid. Oh my God. Oh, fuck her. Literally. What a fucking slimy, terrible bitch. How can you be so heartless? How? Like how? I don't get it. What? That is, I love this man, like protect this man at all costs. Well, he's single now, Lauren. No, this is, this is pretty remarkable. I cannot imagine being so unsupportive of your partner. You have a man and I think as a woman in like a cis hetero relationship, like I think, and I think this is kind of a

misconception that guys think, you know, women want a strong man and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like no, women want people, men, people in general. I think everyone wants a partner that is emotionally vulnerable, connected with themselves, able to put themselves out there. One million percent. And she got that. And she said, nope. Bye. Bye. Unreal. Where's the toxic masculinity? Oh my God. That's, there's some type of self-hate that she has going on there. Yeah. Because what the fuck? I unhinged behavior from her, like straight trash, straight trash. And throw her in a dumpster. I, it just reminds me, because it's like my grandpa, he was an architect and so good. And growing up, we made a clubhouse in my backyard together. And

every day when I would get back from school, I would run, like with my backpack, I would get off the bus and like run straight to my backyard and start helping him work on it. It was really cool too. That's amazing. Yeah. And he had built his own pontoon boat. Oh my gosh. Yeah. He built his own pontoon boat and he lived on a river. And when he was really sick, he was basically mostly in bed and like he was only, he only had a, not that much longer to live. And he was pretty old, like in his upper eighties at the time. So it was kind of like there weren't really, you know, options. But it was the most heartbreaking thing ever for my mom and for all of us, but like my mom specifically, because, you know, another family member had like the

control of his finances, because he was the most, he was the smartest with finances, like he knew exactly what to do. But he ended up selling his pontoon boat before my grandpa passed. And that was like his happiest thing. Given it's like, it's not like in any way to be harmful, like my grandpa hadn't left bed. Like he was, you know, passing away like on life support in bed. And so it wasn't like anything to like hurt my grandpa, but like one day my grandpa was like, can you bring me to the porch to see my pontoon? I just want to look at it. And it was like the most heartbreaking thing. Because then it was like, instead, I think my mom ended up like lying and being like, it's getting fixed right now. Like it's not out

there. But it was just like, it's just those little things that just spark joy. Yeah. Well, and that's what I look at this at. I'm like, who does this hurt? It's not like he's outside decorating the house and putting fucking reindeer in the yard. He's putting up a tree inside the house, maybe some decorations. It's like, who does this hurt? No one. No one. Like my mom keeps her tree up until March. Like literally our Christmas lights were like up all year round. My mom just like, does she doesn't have time for that shit. So that that thing stayed up until March this year. It's like, who does this hurt? It's, I think little things like this in life where it sparks joy and makes people feel good. And why not? Who does who does hurt? Do it. Wait, so also side note,

you know, the song by Taylor Swift, where it's like, we can leave the lights up till January. And everyone's like, what the fuck? That's a normal time to leave your lights up. Yeah. And they're like, February had the same amount of vowels. Why couldn't you at least say February, January Taylor? Come on. Come on, girl. Well, in Minnesota too, like a lot of people don't take their lights off their houses until spring because it's cold. Yeah, exactly. When the snow is going to be gone, the lights will go. Exactly. So March, April, maybe, maybe they're gone. Sorry, Condi, what were you saying? No, I don't remember. I just had a thought though. I think for OT, I don't know obviously what his health conditions are, but for people with

dementia, it's really important to like give them projects, give them a sense of like their reference and normalcy and stuff like that. So it's like, his grandpa has this frame of reference where he's like, oh, is it Christmas? It's Christmas? Like what, like blah, blah, blah. It's like he's clearly cognitively not completely there. And so why not give him that? If it helps establish a better sense of normalcy and like more of a time reference for him and makes his life easier, better, more productive, like more purposeful, why not put up a tree? Why do you think that it triggered the woman so much? I don't know. Maybe she's just the Grinch or maybe Christmas is a traumatic period of time for her, but I feel like OP would have mentioned that. Like,

oh, my girlfriend, her family got in a car accident on Christmas. Like I feel like if there was that context. Or it's like, does she have a family member that she thinks that you're supposed to be as rational or rational? The hell is that? That's a new word, rational. Dude, I literally said I stayed my car at my friends instead of saying I left my car at my friends. I can't like live. We create new words all time. I can't. I can't get over that. Like it's been days and I still am like, what? Oh God, you're really thinking about it? Yeah. Um, but did she have a family member where like it was her thought that you should be as rational? Oh my God. Literally, rational, rational.

What the hell is with me lately? Can we add this to Webster? Let's all petition. Oh my God. Rational. Well, where are you combining? Rational and sensible? Sure. Okay. Rational. Like, yeah, as rational as possible. Yeah, I'm just wondering what it is that was so triggering to her. I don't know. Top comment, I think you will cherish this memory forever. Even if it is truly not Christmas, you were making a loved one happy when he isn't doing well. You said he might not make it to the end of the year. If he doesn't, then this is his last Christmas. If he does, then you get to have even more fun with him. Enjoy all the time you have left with him. So, so true. So true. If I, I mean, I do like my mom's partner right now,

things are not going well. And despite rounds and rounds of chemo, all of his tumors and stuff are growing. And so it's not looking good. And so I think like for my mom, like I could honestly see my mom doing this and being like, well, Christmas is four months away. But like, I want to make sure like he has this memory with his kids and all this stuff. Absolutely. I could so see my mom doing this because my mom is the biggest Christmas plugger. She loves Christmas. Like this is my mom to a T. So it's so understandable. Like when you have a family member that is sick or not doing well, like all rational things go out the window. You do what, what makes the most sense for you and your family and bringing you joy and happiness and peace. It's

like, what, what standard are you living to? Because life doesn't have standards. Life is about making your own path and just finding your happiness. Exactly. And I think that's what gets me with a lot of these stories that when it, when people get so upset over things with holidays and birthdays and weddings and bachelorette parties, because it's just like, these are all like these social constructs that we've just created. And to put so much pressure on where it ends up being like the worst day, it like that sucks. Like no, like we created them to be happy. So if celebrating Christmas in the middle of the year makes you happy, then fuck it. Do it. Do it. Like that's what these things are like, we're, we put so much, we're supposed to make us happy.

I know. And we put so much pressure on ourselves to like live up to societal constructs when we don't have to. And I don't know if I said it during the bridesmaid story or like the bachelorette party story, but I feel like Instagram has kind of like corrupted all of us in a sense where like we need to have like these idealistic moments in our life. And it's like, it's not about that. Get off your phone. Be in the moment. You're going to remember it more if you're in the moment versus looking at it through your lens on your phone. I'll never forget the moment. The first time that I realized that. So I went to a, if really random, but it was a Gwen Stefani and ACON concert. And I love ACON. And I had a digital camera and I was like looking through the little

hole of the digital camera and I kept, I was like zooming in and I kept trying to get these shots. And like I couldn't even, I wasn't even dancing or focusing on the music because I thought it was so cool that I was at a concert that I was this close to famous people and super cool. I know. But, and then anyway, when I looked at the photos the next day, they're all like blurry and you could barely see them. And it was just like, you would have seen better with your own two eyes. I would have enjoyed it more if I just was like in the moment. And that was the first realization that I had that I was like, this is not a good thing to like make that the priority to capture it for what? Who's going to care about all of these pictures of me zoomed in on blurry

Gwen Stefani in it? No one gives a fuck. Yeah. When there's about one bajillion photos that other people took that were probably way better. Yeah. I think something that I really realized and I've been doing a really good job at it. Like I use Instagram as kind of like a photo diary these days. So like in case my phone got wiped, like, yes, I have like a photo dump full of pictures that will like remind me of that day or whatever. But I like when I go to concerts or when I go to anything now, I will get my phone out right away. It's beginning, take pictures, and then it goes in my purse the rest of the time. I'm not on my phone constantly at things anymore. I don't even know where my phone is half the time because I'm like, I'm like, I just want to document

it real quick. Yeah. And then put it away. Well, I so I went to a mic stud concert, which I really, I really like his, his new album, The Highs, I guess not new anymore. But anyway, it was funny because I didn't really pay attention to what I was recording. I was just recording it as I was dancing, but I put them all on my Snapchat because my memory was so full on my phone that like I didn't want to save them to my phone, but I wanted to save them on my Snapchat memory. We got to get you a new phone. Well, no, I got a new phone now. Thank God. But so it was just funny because then I had so many was like, it was so long. And I like don't really use Snapchat anymore. So I don't think of anyone even looking at my stories. Yeah. And someone someone was like, Hey, I was just curious,

did you go to a concert last night? And I was like, fuck you. I was like, I'm doing it for my memories so I can look back and like, but even that I'm like, will I actually look back at that? Like, maybe I really do like him. But like, I know what you mean. I know. Yeah, the point is, is that like even then I was just like, come on, Lauren. Yeah. It's tough, but fuck that girl. And last but not least. Yes. So this story I found, and I just thought it was important to kind of address as like, there's so much that happens in people's lives that we don't know, or we assume that something is the truth. But in reality, it's not the truth. And there's so many other things that could go wrong or whatever. And so I saw this story today and I was just like, it is, it's kind

of the perfect story to end. I think this theme with like, women like our trash or like, throw her away or whatever, we're going to call this thing. But it's, it's kind of like, don't maybe like, don't assume the worst in people, essentially, or like, there's two sides of the coin or don't read a book by the cover, whatever you want to like, some eyes from this story, I think is important. And so it doesn't relate to the throw her away theme, but like, at the same time, it does just to like, highlight, Hey, there's more perspective. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So another one from true off my chest, that's titled, I found out my ex-wife didn't abandon our family. She was dead the whole time. I 45 male have a daughter, 22 female and a son, 18 male, with an ex-wife

who I thought abandoned us 15 years ago. Let's say she was going through a bad phase in her life. She was very depressed and had already abandoned us once for three months in the past. She promised me she's never going to do it again. But one day she said she was going to the store and after a couple of hours, I decided to go see if she was at the store and she wasn't there. I waited one day hoping she would be coming back, but she never did. So I went to the police station to file a missing person report, but they said they think she ran away because she has done it in the past and a grown adult can vanish if they want to. So they never filed the missing person report. I was devastated. How could I announce this to my kids? I was furious at her because she

left me with our two kids alone. So 15 years has passed since that time. And recently I got a call from an investigator who said they need a DNA sample from my son or daughter because an investigation about an unidentified murder victim. I was very confused, but I told my son and he agreed to give a sample. Three months after that, I received a call from the same investigator on the case and shocking news. The unidentified victim was my ex-wife. For 15 years, I thought she had abandoned us. I feel so bad now. My kids are devastated too. I don't know how to feel about that because I didn't believe her when she said she was never going to run away again. I feel like a piece of shit for being hateful towards her when all this time she was dead and had gone through horror.

I don't know what to think. Oh my God. Holy shit. Yeah. Where did she die? Like if she was just going to the supermarket, does he talk about what happened? You just never know. No, he doesn't say anything. But they think it was murder for sure, not suicide. Yeah. Wow. I mean, there's nothing you can do. He can't go back in time and just erase all of that. All he can do now is have an answer and feel love towards her. Yeah. It's just kind of like a move forward thing where as hard and as sad as it is and how bad you feel about it, I mean, that is kind of the rational thought at the time. She did run away from you guys. No, I don't blame him at all. It's so heartbreaking, but you kind of just need to forgive yourself and forgive the fact that you

thought that and heal in the best way you can. And at least you have answers and that sense of closure that she didn't abandon us. She was stolen from us. Her life was taken and ripped away from her. It's not that she left you, which you can have some peace in that at least. 100%. That's why whenever I had that situation where I had a friend that was stealing from me and I thought I was losing my mind, I was like, am I okay? Because I trusted everyone around me. So I was like, why are these things going missing? What is wrong with me? And then it's like, when I found out that it was her the entire time and saw all the evidence, it was like, even though my reaction should be like, I'm so mad at her, I want to get back at her or whatever,

it was not. It was completely just closure. I was like, I'm not crazy. I have answers to what was going on the past few years. It all makes sense now. And I can move on with my life in peace. I know. I think closure and just kind of coming to a conclusion is half the battle when you go through struggles in life. And sometimes you don't get that closure. And for me, I don't know what it was that clicked with me, but I've been really good in past situations, especially breakups, where it's like, I don't necessarily need that closure to move on, but I do understand how that works. The text message. You're like, bye. It was just like, it was kind of like the icing on the cake. I was like, I'm good. I'm so good.

And I think like breakup wise, this obviously is very different, but like breakup wise, you don't need closure. If someone wronged you, you deserve better. You don't need to know why he did what he did or she did what she did or they did what they did. Fuck them. They don't deserve you. And don't give them another thought. I agree. But our palette cleanser for today, because we need one. That's really cute and a happy couple. And it went super viral a month ago. My girlfriend kicks me off my Spotify account every morning. I couldn't be happier. My girlfriend, female 22 and I, male 23 live together. My day starts off much sooner than hers does. I'm usually in the office by 6 30am, which is about when she starts waking up.

I'm one of the first people in the office. So I always put headphones on and listen to music as I start my day. I get about 15 minutes of music before it stops. And I get the notification that the output device has changed. This is because we have a Google home that's hooked to my Spotify account. When my girlfriend wakes up, she starts her day with, Hey, Google play. So she has music when she's getting ready. I always just leave my phone open to see what she's listening to. And when she heads out around 7 30, I get my account back. I'm sure that she has no idea that she's participating in this little routine. And I have no intentions of telling her. Sure, it'd be easy to swap it to her account. But I love to know that she's awake and starting her

day listening to her favorite songs. Why is this one going to fuck me up? Fuck. Another benefit of this is that I know what her current favorite songs are. So when we get in the car together, or we're just sitting around, I know what songs will spark joy. Some days I think she's on to me. We're both very happy and I plan on proposing here in a few weeks. I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with her. Oh, my God, there's updates now. You crying is making me cry. Okay, edit more context for everyone. Hey, everyone, your support is wonderful. I'm so happy you all enjoyed seeing a snippet of my relationship with my girlfriend. She's my favorite person in the world. If you think I'm sweet, you should meet her. We met about five years ago in college. We argued over a seat

in calculus. Fuck math. Then ultimately decided to team up academically because we were in the same major. We were best friends for about three years. And now I've been dating for two years. We lived together with two wonderful cats. The engagement ring comes in two weeks and we have a trip planned next month to have a romantic getaway. I love photography and we both love hiking. Due to this, we always go hiking with my camera and tripod. We always take photos together at the peaks, so I plan on doing that when I propose. I'll try to post an update when it happens. Love isn't some grand gesture. I've learned it's just a lot of little things that add up. Edit too. An update on the engagement. For everyone still keeping tabs, I adore you. The ring is in.

It's currently hidden in our home. Due to us finding a cute little townhouse to move into, we will sadly be moving during the timeframe that we had hoped to go on our escapade, so it got canceled. I hope to propose soon, but want it to be meaningful. For that reason, I'm unsure when it'll be. For those of you that have stuck around this long, I appreciate you. I hope to return here soon with some wonderful news. Until then, I wish the very best for you. That is so cute. It's amazing. I love what you said too. Love is not some grand gesture. It's a little things. Life is all about the little things. 100%. Christmas in July? Yes. I mean, life is about. I agree. Little things that add up. I can agree more.

Fuck. That was a good one. Thank you for that pallet cleanser, honestly. I appreciate that a lot. I'm starting to do it on the heavy ones. I find that I need it. Yeah. Justin, especially needs it. Justin. Poor baby. Yeah. But that was a good one. That was fun. Did you have fun? I had fun. Yeah. I feel like I got some angst out and hopefully we leveled the playing field for all the guys out there. Yeah. Guys, gals, non-binary pals. Yeah. Felt like we were attacking only men. I think we proved that women can be trash too. Maybe that's the title. What? Women can be trash too. Okay. What was the title going to be? Throw her away. Yeah, yeah. Do the second one. That one's a little aggressive. Okay, good. Okay. Well, I don't

know when this will come out, but we're doing big shit. We got the live show. We got new merch. We got lots of stuff going on. So be sure to check the episode description because if we have anything going on, the links will be there and I'll patch something in on the intro. I can't believe we're doing the live show. Are you nervous? Dude, I'm going to shit my pants just thinking about it. Like, are you going to prep us at all? Are we doing how we always do it? Just blind reactions? Yeah. Yeah. Just nothing. I think we're just going in. Are we going to have like a talking stick? Like what if like me all in and I think we did pretty good in Austin. I think we'll look at it sorted. I have ideas. I have ideas, but wish us luck guys. Wish us fucking luck. And if

it's happened already, like, check in, check in, check in, check in. But love you all and thank you for being here. And I don't know what episode this will be, but we're the last one I just released today was 75, which is insane. Damn. Absolutely insane that we're at this point. And I'm so grateful and appreciate all your support and love. And until next time, until next time, bye guys. Bye. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you

were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it, so can you.