Two Hot Takes - 80: Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid?

Starting point is 00:00:00 For over 65 years, we have been part of your community, and we work to make a difference for every member every day. And while our name is changing, our commitment to you is not. Find out how it's getting even better here. Welcome to You First. Visit us at youfirstcu.com. Didn't we do an intro? We probably did, but you know what? The other intro was so good. I know, and we'll still probably give it to them. But I wanted to start off this week's episode with some listener confessions.

Starting point is 00:00:31 And I got some good ones. And so I didn't want to like save them until the middle or the end. I'm going to start with the confessions. Maybe then it will transition to the lake and then back to the studio for the end of the episode. We'll see how I splice it together tomorrow when I edit, but the confessions are so good that I had to share them. Okay. Okay. So this week's theme is all about confessions, dark confessions, some more light-hearted confessions. But when I say dark confessions, like do not take that lightly if you guys are not in the right headspace or some of the confessions are very, very dark and not for

Starting point is 00:01:14 the faint of heart. So our listener confessions though, are you ready? Yes. Some of them are crazy. And I got a lot. My stepsister is dating my cousin and my parents see nothing wrong with it. My stepmom cheated on my dad with a coworker and got pregnant. I pooped in a Starbucks cup and set it under my car. I knew I wouldn't make it to class. Thank God they gave me napkins. I feel like not even fast food gives you napkins anymore. I lost my virginity in a car in a church parking lot. Lord be with me. That's a good one. I'm trying to process the first ones. This is too fast.

Starting point is 00:01:53 I know. I'm rapid firing. So if there's anyone I really talk about, let me know. All of them. What do you mean? I absolutely loathe my sister. She's an unfit mother. I want to adopt my niece to save her. Loathe? Really dislikes. Strong dislike of. It's funny how close that word is to love. I don't love you. I love you. I think my relationship is over and we don't want to admit it. Two separate plans for life. Yep. It happens.

Starting point is 00:02:25 I've been married to my husband for almost three years and now I'm in a secret affair with his brother. Nah. I don't like that. I once dipped my sister's toothbrush in the toilet because she pissed me off. That's fine. She'll live. That water is usually pretty clean actually. It's just the surrounding surfaces that aren't. We're going to have to find out. I, female 18, slept with my ex while my boyfriend was in Barbados traveling with his girl best friend. To add on, little did I know him and his girl best friend, sexuality L, were having sex every night.

Starting point is 00:03:03 Yeah. See, it worked out. That was good. I slept with one of my best friends. I flooded a bathroom in a restaurant once and walked out like I had no clue what happened. You got it. Who's going to be like, oh wait, yeah, I'm going to run up to the manager real quick. No, I'd never admit that shit. People probably have. There's honest people. There's good honest people out there. I've like clogged a toilet in a restaurant before and like literally. Was it the toilet? What's the toilet? Like one. There's just one. No, I think there was two individual use stalls.

Starting point is 00:03:36 And so like there was something wrong with the chain. It wasn't like the lever and the chain weren't connected. So I like undid the top, like reached down at the bottom. I was not leaving. I took a shit. You did that at home, but like, I don't know about messing around in public. I couldn't leave it. I was in second grade. I shit myself and took off my shitty underwear and put it in a desk. You got to do what you got to do. I have a non-consent, consent kink. I lost my virginity with my mom in the same hotel room. Different bed though. What? Yeah. What do you mean? That's a tough one to do. Yeah, they lost their virginity when their mom,

Starting point is 00:04:21 they were probably stayed in a hotel. Oh, I thought you just said to their mom. I lost my virginity with my mom in the same hotel room. You see how it can read that way though. Okay. All right. Ben Aseidho for two years to a guy that's engaged and don't really feel bad about it. Well, the like losing your virginity, that's kind of, that's a big deal, but just simply like hooking up while other people are in the room. That was college. Yeah. That is college. Yeah, I gotta get good at it. I gave someone a little job with another like person in the bed next to, so.

Starting point is 00:05:01 That's easy. That's like nothing. Yeah. Thank you. Try going, try doing more than that in bunks, not even being next, try being above. I can't. Oh no, below. No, above. Try being above. Yeah, for sure. Tough. You think dorm beds are quiet? Tough. Especially when they're stacked. Yeah. So I'm not impressed by you at all. I catfished my own boyfriend. We're still together now, so it's not that toxic, I guess.

Starting point is 00:05:33 I scraped my boyfriend's car against a gas station pole, told my boyfriend I got side-swiped. I once rolled down someone's. It doesn't work with cameras. Well, we're just going to override your memory card if I do something like that. No, honesty. See, here's the thing with something like that. Yeah, that's a great little excuse, but it's just, if it ever came out, if for some reason it got found out. Yeah. And it was like, no, you clearly did this, like the gas station came forward or something, like something happened

Starting point is 00:06:08 where it came out, then it would be like, all right, I don't trust you. It's not worth it. It's just a little car thing? It's not worth it. Oh gosh. I called the cops on every party my ex went to without me. Oh my God, that's bad. That's kind of fun, but it's just like, get over it. My boyfriend has nude photos of our friends hidden on his phone. How? I don't know, but that one's not okay. You gotta delete them. How do you get that? How does that even happen? What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:06:37 I don't know. Hidden. Did he take them? Was he sent them? Maybe. Or was he sent them unknowingly? What if he took them unknowingly? That's even worse. How the fuck did that happen? I don't know. I don't like it. Delete them. It's like your DMBs. I slept with my manager at my last job and everyone thought it was just a rumor. Well, see, we don't understand that life. We don't understand office dynamics.

Starting point is 00:07:01 I mean, I lived it for a little bit. I used to work at like a restaurant and retail and like... But I'm saying where there's like all the cubes, the cube farm. I used to be in the cube farm, except that was cool. We got a lot of listeners in the cube farm. I heard a lot of them. I made cry last week. I'm not hating on the cube farm. I'm saying I experienced the cube farm. It just wasn't right for me.

Starting point is 00:07:19 I think we need to put that on the next shirt. Cube farm, a member of the cube farm. Yeah. It's like a maze in there, but I'm not hating on it. I'm saying I was in the cube farm. I spent a good amount of time in a cube. And I found out at 14, I did not want to work in a corporate office because I was already doing the things that people had college degrees for. Like I was already doing it at 14. Does that make you feel like college is a scam?

Starting point is 00:07:44 Hmm, no, but it makes me feel like I figured it out at an early age that that was not right for me. Yeah. There's people like my dad that love it. I know. This next one's really interesting. I love my child to the ends of the earth. I would die for her without question. I also hate being a parent.

Starting point is 00:08:02 Super complex there. Yeah. I want to dive more into that one on a full length episode, I think. My boyfriend and I eloped August 13th and only four friends know. Congratulations. Yeah, that one's not, that's not like too crazy. I like that one. I accidentally flung a piece of poop next to a lady's purse

Starting point is 00:08:24 at the Disneyland bathroom stall. How are you pooping? Aggressive wiping. Oh my gosh. Well, flung doesn't, not the sounds like you, like I think if it came out like that it'd be like you shot. Yeah. Or like something, it shot over there.

Starting point is 00:08:41 I'm envisioning she was hovering and like tried to push and it went. But if it's flung, I feel like it's more of a hand motion. It has to do with something. Wiping. With an appendage. I could see that. Instead of just shooting. My aunt pissed in her friend's soup.

Starting point is 00:08:56 Her friend ate it all then asked for seconds. Yeah, that's pretty bad. That's absolutely disgusting. Aught needs to go to jail. And last but not least, all throughout the confessions responses that I got on my Instagram, you have to read that story about the guy who has sex to that song. So let's dive in. We're not doing it.

Starting point is 00:09:22 Are we doing that story? Yeah. I don't want to do that story. Yeah. No. We're doing it. Okay. Let's dive in.

Starting point is 00:09:33 Okay. Okay. So this story went super, super, super, super viral. Probably the most viral thing I've seen come off of Reddit. So I feel like I don't even need to read it. I could just jump into discussing it. But for those that haven't been on TikTok for the past week and a half, two weeks, here we go. Who is that?

Starting point is 00:10:15 They must have either had their internet cut or they were traveling and forgot their phone. Okay. Both are valid. Both are valid. I could see. Or loss of power. Or just trying to do a TikTok detox. I've never heard of such a thing.

Starting point is 00:10:29 Lauren doesn't use TikTok right now. Psych. No, she doesn't. Seriously. So is this the most awards you've ever seen on something? Yeah. I don't know why. Because it's hilarious.

Starting point is 00:10:45 Okay. So this was posted by the username Tylerlife. It's now, it now has 124,000 upvotes. Today I fucked up my 20 female girlfriend of two years told me the music that I 25 male play during sex is weird and a major turnoff. A little backstory. When I first started having sex, I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing.

Starting point is 00:11:14 I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance. I searched Love Making Songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm. There are a few songs to my playlist. However, there's one song in particular which actually happens to be my favorite that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way. I don't understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song. It's a good love making song with good rhythm.

Starting point is 00:11:45 I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she'd like to add or change. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I'm a bit annoyed. I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.

Starting point is 00:12:17 Not to mention my previous partners. However, they never complained about the song so maybe it's just her. It's fucked up the relationship to be honest because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognized this and asked me to stop. I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed too.

Starting point is 00:12:43 I usually bust to the song and find it devastating she hates the song. Are you ready to hear it? Can you imagine thrusting to that? No, I can't imagine listening to that ever. I don't get it. I don't understand it at all. I kind of want to try it though. I feel like it would actually give you, if you go to the beat and not the rhythm, I feel like it's not bad.

Starting point is 00:13:22 Should we try it? Is he Pavlov now with that last line? Absolutely. Absolutely Pavlov himself. To make that your thing, that's, I don't know. It's a pretty aggressive song. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. I don't know. See, this is why I don't know why the story is so big because I just don't get it.

Starting point is 00:13:44 Yeah, sure. We can talk about the getting into it with like, oh, you should communicate and ask, but that's not fun. This is about how bad the song is. You think, well, I think it says a lot though, the fact that she recognized the song without music based on the way he was thrusting. Well, yeah, because it's all they've done for the past couple years. Yeah, because that's how he gets off.

Starting point is 00:14:08 But every time, can you imagine? Sometimes people need a little special something to help them come. Yeah, but imagine doing that for the next 50 years. I love you enough to do it. The same song every time. Maybe not that one specifically, but... Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:27 What if there's another song with the same BPM? Beats per minute for those out there. Yeah, I mean, I'd be down to dabble. I'll try this one if you want. This one, personally, we could try. You're acting like I want to. I want to. I'll try it if you want.

Starting point is 00:14:43 I want to, to be honest. I just want to put it to the test and see if it works. Maybe it inspires me on top. Really? Yeah. This song. Maybe. I'm willing to give it a shot.

Starting point is 00:15:02 The top comment on the YouTube for this song, a moment of silence for that poor woman suffering two years of this. Yeah, so, right. People don't like the song, right? No, people are just like blown away. Like, I mean, everyone across TikTok the past couple of weeks has been just popping off on this man. Like, I mean, it just didn't go over well.

Starting point is 00:15:24 People are like blown away that this is the song that would get him off. Right, that's right. Yeah, but I'm willing to, like I said, I'm willing to try it. I'm not, I'm not going to shit on it before I, you know, I try it. There's definitely a saying for this. Like, I'm not going to speak ill of something before I try it. Yeah, but you think of like a love song in a movie, right? That plays during a love making scene or something like that.

Starting point is 00:15:51 You would never in a million years as you're scoring a movie be like, hmm, I'm going to go with this vibe. This sounds like you ended up in a terrible nightclub and you're hooking up in the nightclub. That's the only reason I could see you ever doing it to this song. Yeah. Right? Kind of has nightclub vibes, but I'm like a weird kind of nightclub way.

Starting point is 00:16:09 Like the nightclub that nobody goes to because of the music they play. Yeah, I don't know. Well, I don't know. I don't think it's that bad of a song, but it's not the first choice. But I guess they, um, I did see something else where they posted like their full playlist on their Instagram. And the rest of the playlist was like usher and like some other interesting songs. Things that make sense or no.

Starting point is 00:16:36 Some made sense. And then some others that were again kind of out there that didn't really fit the playlist. But I don't know. What would your go-to song be if you were going to put one on? I don't really thought about it. I just remember in college having very thin walls and you would always hear people's music choices.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Wow. Wide range. Yeah. What's your favorite? I don't know. I have no idea. Don't remember. I think Numa Numa would be another weird one that would oddly do it for me.

Starting point is 00:17:03 Have you heard of that one? I don't know. But the original, not the Rihanna remix. The original. Hello. It's so good. So there is an update for this poor friend. Posting on Reddit about our sex life with CBAT and now our relationship has ended.

Starting point is 00:17:31 After all the hype, they could have started a channel. They could have been an influencer like sex music vibes. Okay, this exploded more than I expected and has been a bit overwhelming with the messages, but I thought it'd give an update. The attention hasn't been exactly positive and this hasn't been the best thing to happen for my relationship. And it's now sadly ended.

Starting point is 00:17:55 I didn't expect it to blow up so much. I should have used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages. There aren't many 25-year-old Tyler lives who are in a relationship with their significant other for two years who is 20. Unfortunately, her younger sister recognized this and showed her parents who wasn't happy at all and made the situation extremely awkward. What made it more awkward and cemented the fact that it was me

Starting point is 00:18:22 is that they recognized the song. Once at a family dinner, we were discussing music tastes and my ex-girlfriend stated that have an odd taste in music. Everyone laughed and pressed me to play something from my phone of what I like as music to which I then blessed their ears with CBAT. This guy is obsessed. This is weird. Okay, maybe a little.

Starting point is 00:18:49 Her father laughed and said it was terrible. I guess we all have different tastes. Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song. So it wasn't being used at that current time. I don't know if it was. That was the light bulb. Maybe that was because he goes,

Starting point is 00:19:07 I put a little more emphasis on great fucking song, but I think it is written. I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song. It's a great fucking song. I love it. Not a great fucking song. Yeah, I put a little more emphasis on that one. So I do think he meant in general.

Starting point is 00:19:28 Okay, yeah, sure. We are now over and I am moving on. I already revealed my face on TikTok, but with the amount of hate I originally got, I decided to say I didn't have it and backtracked. I don't think the song is that bad, and I had no idea she didn't like it until recently. And as soon as I did, I stopped.

Starting point is 00:19:46 I didn't force CBAT on her. Not all can handle CBAT. I know it's different. I know a lot have asked for face reveal and playlist. My playlist I actually burned onto a CD and have been using my CD player, but I'll go on YouTube and try and link all the songs in one playlist and share.

Starting point is 00:20:04 I will say this person does sound very genuine and they very simply reached out for help. Yes. Which you can't hate on. No, I think this was like, think about how many posts get put on today, I fucked up, TIFU and never really go anywhere. Like the top ones right now, if you go to TIFU,

Starting point is 00:20:24 the top one is 6,000 upvotes, 3,000 upvotes, 407, 154, 66, 58. So I mean, it's not abnormal to think, like, oh, I'm just going to post and like nothing's going to happen with this. Yeah. This just turned into a moment, but. This did, I guess.

Starting point is 00:20:43 A moment shared around the world. Like it's unfortunate, but at the same time, if like the fact that you couldn't communicate that you didn't like the song and he went just looking simply for advice and this is what ended your relationship, then you didn't really have a strong relationship to begin with.

Starting point is 00:21:02 No, and I will say like, I didn't really notice, I didn't notice their age gap when I first read it, but now looking back at that, I bet their age gap had a big part to play in that. When they started dating, that she was 18, he was 23, that's a different level of experience. And so as an 18 year old just starting to have sex, you might not be comfortable enough to say,

Starting point is 00:21:25 hey, I don't like that song, it makes me uncomfortable, especially if your boyfriend is older and maybe more mature in your eyes and all of these things like. But every time for getting two years in and then deciding, oh yeah, guess what, we're breaking up. Well, I think they broke up because of the fact he shared it on the internet.

Starting point is 00:21:44 And now like her family recognized it and knew this was about her. And I think it kind of was like a perfect storm of things, but I don't, I see how easy it is to not say anything in that moment, especially when it's just a song. Like sex could have been really, really great and it just happened to be that one song that just like.

Starting point is 00:22:02 I understand that, but I asked like, and I can understand how you just in that moment, you maybe not wouldn't even notice music, right? I feel like a lot of times it's something you tune out. Right, and so I'm just saying it's, I just, I don't know, it doesn't seem like the strongest relationship to begin with. Yeah, I would, I would agree with that.

Starting point is 00:22:25 And I just, I got a little bit of a problem with the age gap. So I'm, I'm kind of okay that they're broke up. And hopefully he can find someone that really wants to, to do it to this song. Because I think after this, someone is out there for sure. Sure, but I think it's also worth thinking about maybe trying to move on past the song. So you're not stuck with that your entire life.

Starting point is 00:22:51 Yeah, there was another, I actually just liked it, but there was another song by the same band. How does he time it out? How does he make sure? Yes, this is the song, like is the playlist, is he clicking on his phone to hit next when he's getting close or what? I'm not sure.

Starting point is 00:23:06 It was the last song on the playlist from what I saw. So what if it's like, what if things are moving a little quicker than that? Do you start like quick and fast forward? Like we got to move on, I got to get to my song. Or maybe he times it out. Like he knows perfectly when to start and stop. It's a lot.

Starting point is 00:23:22 It's a lot to consider. I found it. So the TikTok is by Nick the Virgin and it's called Buggin. Is the song, so I'll play a snippet for you, Justin. I like the swing. Your face. Yeah, so that's the other song.

Starting point is 00:23:41 It's a Buggin by Tonight. T-N-G-H-T, if you guys want to listen. I'll link both of the songs in the YouTube description, but I cannot share in the video or audio, I think, because of copyright. So unfortunately, I can't include, but I will include the link so everyone can listen easily. And yeah, they're great.

Starting point is 00:24:07 They're great songs for some people. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. Yes, I'm about to say that myself. Yes, please give me out of here. To the lake. To the lake.

Starting point is 00:24:19 Yeah, I'm forcing your editing. Okay, okay, we'll go to the lake now and then we'll end back in the studio. Okay, to the lake, to the lake, to the lake, to the window, to the wall, to the wall. Buggin, you better keep it that way. To the sweat drips. I know you're editing right now.

Starting point is 00:24:37 Balls. You're editing right now. You keep it that way. You don't switch it. Keep it that way. This is your sign. Keep it. Okay.

Starting point is 00:25:01 It's crazy. You can hear all the leaves rustling because it's windy here today. Very windy. Are you ready? Yeah. I don't, I don't think you're going to like this episode. Some of the stories are a little dark.

Starting point is 00:25:17 Me too. Quite the trip home, lots of fun. We went to the fair yesterday, the Minnesota State Fair. Absolutely incredible. Up until 2 a.m. last night when I got food poisoning. But other than that, it was magical, amazing. We had great food, lots of corn dogs, cheese curds, mini donuts, sweet Martha's cookies.

Starting point is 00:25:41 I didn't get the corn on the cob, which I'm crushed about. You had a chance. It's okay. It's okay. But I figured, you know, we've had such a good time that maybe you'll be riding on a high that this theme won't traumatize you as much as I think it could. You won a prize.

Starting point is 00:26:00 Oh, I did win a prize. Justin won three prizes. He is incredible at the ring toss. I'll have to insert his videos on the video on YouTube. I cut them down and at the end of each one, you just hear, from you. That's me. That's me, Mogan.

Starting point is 00:26:19 Yeah, I love when you win. I honestly like, I like watching you play the ring toss more than I like winning my own game. But I did win. I did win a prize and it's really cute little triceratops rainbow. I don't know what to name them. Should I have them right here right now? I should.

Starting point is 00:26:34 Do you want to go get them? No, I'm just kidding. We'll have them in an episode at the studio at home. But it is so beautiful. I'm going to have to include a video of the trees. I think it's like so amazing when you have like really, really, really big trees and you can just see them sway back and forth in the wind. It actually is kind of mind blowing for me that like they don't just like snap.

Starting point is 00:26:56 And I guess sometimes they do, but the trees here are so beautiful today. And hopefully it's more soothing than annoying. Yeah, I hope it sounds like really peaceful for everyone. This first one again, like a lot of the stories I found for this theme are pretty dark. They're heavy. So if you're not in the right headspace for a darker episode or like stuff like maybe skip this one and a wholesome one should be coming soon to give Justin a good palette cleanser. Yes.

Starting point is 00:27:25 Okay. So it's from true off my chest. I was posted 13 days ago and it says my sister's stupidity destroyed my family. My sister let her boyfriend drive my parents car. She took it when they were out. She only had a learner's permit. So she was supposed to have a licensed adult with her. She let her boyfriend who was a year too young to have a learner's permit drive and he crashed.

Starting point is 00:27:49 He died. My sister was seriously injured. They think one or both of her feet were on the dashboard. She is paralyzed from the chin down. My parents insurance isn't covering them since my sister took the car illegally and her boyfriend's family are suing my parents. My parents tried to sue them back since he was driving but it was thrown out when they tried. We had to move into an apartment because my parents couldn't afford our house.

Starting point is 00:28:17 I see them cry every day. I heard my mom say that going bankrupt doesn't get rid of the lawsuit debt and their lawyers told them to try and settle before it goes to court because they will probably lose. My sister has to be in a home forever because she needs help and care 24 seven 365 days a year. She remembers everything and her brain is not affected at all. Her medical bills and nursing home bills are so much money. My grandparents are all trying to help but they are all in retirement homes and don't have much.

Starting point is 00:28:51 I've seen them cry too. I know she is getting punished already because she's paralyzed almost completely but I still can't even look at her because she destroyed our entire family. Thank you for the awards and nice words. Wow. Dark is right. Dark confession is accurate. I mean good old crow. Good old crow.

Starting point is 00:29:19 I think when you have a bad choice which seems rather simple and probably at that age seems pretty harmless when you make that decision it's just like oh everyone drives. It's not going to be a big deal. You don't have the mental capacity to understand the dangers of that and the riskiness of having someone who's maybe never driven drive the car. So we all understand it's a terrible decision. She now has to live with that consequence the rest of her life.

Starting point is 00:29:52 Yeah. A physical consequence which I think is sometimes is the worst type of consequence. A physical but also an emotional and a mental. Yeah. Her boyfriend died. She's yeah she's going to go through it forever. The other thing that then adds to that is now it affects other people very greatly. There's a family that literally lost their son

Starting point is 00:30:14 and then her parents are now going through. I mean this will affect them the rest of their lives. They lost their home. I mean their whole life. Yes it's very they innocently lost a lot. They aren't paralyzed. They'll you know they'll be able to figure things out over time and I don't know if they'll heal from it but I think monetarily they could you know it's a big setback

Starting point is 00:30:43 but I'm sure like over time you can recover from something like that. Yeah. It's just crazy because just because of how it went down there's no insurance. There's now all these crazy lawsuits because I'm sure on some level they should have been responsible for the car not being taken by their kid. Yeah. Right. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:31:08 It gets really messy. Teenagers like I mean look at the shit. I look at what I did growing up and sometimes you can't control your kids and accidents happen and I mean the whole thing is just what I'm just saying legally. Like when it comes down to these lawsuits and things. Well that's what they're doing. And lives are lost. I'm sure there's I don't know where the law falls.

Starting point is 00:31:29 Maybe someone can like educate us on that. Cross-post this to legal advice. But wow I it's the kind of stuff that you always feel like you hear about happening to other people but could so easily happen to you or it could just so happen easily happen to someone you know. You know it's one of it feels like one of those things where it's just like one decision probably not much time and then everything changes forever. Yeah well I mean there's so many small areas of this in like our life that we that we come across all the time like rental cars.

Starting point is 00:32:04 Justin and I got a rental car for this trip home to Minnesota. And if I wouldn't have put your name down as an authorized driver and you were driving and got in an accident the whole insurance would be null and void. I would personally be held responsible for everything because you weren't authorized to drive that. So like if that's like a life tip like don't ever let anyone who's not on the car drive your rental car. Like there's so many little areas of liability in life that that there's weird little things

Starting point is 00:32:33 like that but I do feel bad in the sense like yes this girl is 15 but I think it just sucks that like her parents are being held liable to such an extent because that kid was driving like because the daughter stole the car it just sucks that like stuff like that can't be right and that's better controlled like they both are suffering both parents both families are suffering. Well it's because she is their daughter she's a minor technically under their control because I mean if someone came and stole one of our cars in the middle of the night and ran and someone died they would have nothing to do with us because they came and stole the car so it must

Starting point is 00:33:21 come down to the fact that she is technically under their supervision as a minor and that's the context in which it happened but damn and so yeah so it is very if moving forward it is very it's such a horrible effect on the parents with I mean imagine getting that phone call because you would have no idea it's like no and it's like I don't I don't want to look at like oh being paralyzed is a punishment because like her consequences like the consequences of her actions everything it's played out the way it has and it's it's so tragic like a life was lost a life has been permanently changed lives and I guess you could broaden that to every family member involved every friend every everyone lives have changed but it's just it's and no it's not I'm not

Starting point is 00:34:14 I wasn't making I didn't want it to seem like it's a punishment it's it's just the consequences going through this forever yeah yeah it's a consequence of it and I think just the whole thing's unfortunate yeah terrible which I mean the top comment was holy shit this is tragic I'm so sorry for what you are all going through I wish you better times and like this isn't this is a little bit different maybe of um episode because there's not as much to say on these stories because a lot of them are coming from true off my chest or like there's another subreddit called confessions so it's it's a heavy it's a heavy and this next one isn't going to be any better yeah I was just kind of thinking through it and you don't understand at that age how

Starting point is 00:35:00 little decisions you make can literally how many people are involved in those decisions that you make it's not just you like sure maybe if you got pulled over that night and you got tickets or whatever the the penalty is for that yeah then that could affect just you but then like the insurance may go up and whatever so it's just every it's that butterfly effect thing I know butterfly effect domino effect I mean there's there's so many things like one I there's like a lot of theories on this too because I remember Jeff was like reading a book on this where he the author was like even minor decisions like picking a drink or like oh I'm I don't really like these shoes I'm wearing I'm going to turn around and put another pair on like minor decisions

Starting point is 00:35:53 can shape such a big part of your life like think about the shoes like oh I changed shoes and went back inside and because I took that extra 30 seconds I wasn't the car that got t-boned at the intersection and killed yeah there's so many crazy things right but that's not to let that run your life no and like because people will start putting way too much weight on decisions that literally you can't because you can't predict that but I think about these things because what if there is a multiverse in the way that there are endless truly endless and infinite possibilities there is a Justin and a Morgan just by chance on a exactly think how many think how many earth like planets there would have to be for us to end up in the chance of this

Starting point is 00:36:39 would be so small but if there's infinite then you could technically think one we're sitting here and instead tonight we decide we miss our flight and then that puts that Justin and Morgan in a different multiverse are going through that whole experience whereas we make the flight and then we're happily cruising back I know I was thinking about everything like oh I could just take a drink right now but no maybe the other Justin somewhere else is taking that drink right now oh no I'm gonna but I literally think about that every time I get on a plane I'm like should I have skipped this flight like what if I was meant to miss this flight and I accidentally made it like I think about that all the time and it's it is so scary and like that's just going down a rabbit hole but like

Starting point is 00:37:25 oh my god like I do I do think about those little decisions how they can like so greatly impact everything just don't let it take over you I know that would be very bad injured knee hip or ankle and you've tried ice rest anti-inflammatory drugs rehab east and massage needling etc if you've been down the road of traditional care and it hasn't helped Parker muscle and sports clinic is the place for you do something different get hard hitting fast long-lasting results restore your strength stamina and stability at Parker muscle and sports we do things differently and expect immediate results call 801-851-1593 today for half off your initial evaluation and treatment keep your dreams alive okay you ready for this next one

Starting point is 00:38:24 yes trigger warning on this next one you guys it does contain talks of suicide so this is from r slash confession and it goes I'm putting my extremely profoundly disabled seven-year-old into a residential facility so I can forget he exists I'm not sorry oh we got a little jet skier cruising up behind us I this these are the types of things I don't really know what to say again there's not going to be much to say on this one I can't even understand being in that position making that type of decision where you that's just the title do you want the details oh I thought that was it no we're rapid fire vibes no okay yeah I can't

Starting point is 00:39:12 tell anyone this even my therapist lambast me lambast what I don't know lambast me if you want and maybe I even deserve it I only ask what you would do if you were in my situation not what you think people should do but what you really would do I'm a single mom of two boys 12 and 7 my husband passed away three years ago in a work accident a very large portion of me believes it was actually a suicide I can't see him ever making the mistake he made that caused his death and he had taken an action just before that which ensured his co-workers weren't in the room I fully believe he killed himself because of our younger son and no one will ever change my mind we were told when I was pregnant that he would have Down syndrome we could handle that even if it was severe it turned

Starting point is 00:40:08 out he has a chromosome deletion his disorder is kind of rare so I won't post which specific one but suffice to say he'll never be anything more than he is now or has ever been and what he is is nothing he doesn't appear to have any awareness and never has his eyes are locked in one position he doesn't respond to noise touch or pain he is total care he is capable of nothing he is tube fed and on oxygen he is in diapers and will be forever he makes no sounds no attempts to communicate he never even really cried as a baby he has never made an attempt to interact with anyone or his environment I'm not upset because I got a special needs or imperfect child I feel the way I feel because this thing takes up 200% of my time and does nothing I didn't get an imperfect child

Starting point is 00:41:07 I didn't get a child I don't love him he doesn't have any personality there's nothing to love and yet I'm responsible for him in addition to his extreme delays he's also medically fragile respiratory crisis fecal impactions his autonomic nervous system doesn't function properly issues with his g-tube infections pressure sores no matter what we put him on or how we position him our older son has suffered because his non-existent brother has colored everything in his life he's had medical care get delayed because there's only one of me and his brother is more critical we do have a visiting home nurse but only 20 hours a week and we aren't eligible for more I was starting law school I gave up my dreams and my plan for my children for this potato

Starting point is 00:42:01 my older son can't do a lot of things he wants to do because of the younger's need for care and appointments the final straw was I heard a sound I went into younger son's room to check thinking he had forgotten to breathe again and saw older son hitting him and screaming you're why I don't have a mother you're why I don't have a father you're why I can't have friends over you're why I can't be in sports I didn't ask for you and I hope you die instead of being horrified I watched and younger son just did not react no signs of pain or fear or upset no reaction at all he breathes but he is not alive he doesn't know who I am he doesn't know who older son is he has no sense of self life experience or awareness of his surroundings

Starting point is 00:42:50 he doesn't need to be in my home he doesn't know or care where he is he is genetically my son but he is not family my previously abused brain damaged cat who couldn't walk straight has more personality and is far more lovable than my child in fact I was looking forward to raising a downs baby even one with severe impairments for that reason with disability can come gifts this boy is not a gift he is a genetic mistake I probably should have miscarried and would have definitely terminated if I'd have known he would be like this and the flip side is if he has awareness he's miserable and there is nothing I can do if he has likes or dislikes no one knows what they are if he is in pain he can't tell anyone if he wants anything he can't communicate he has every

Starting point is 00:43:41 imaginable therapy nothing has made a difference and so he's leaving our home on the 29th I feel excited and relieved and then guilty because I know we'll be happier with him gone he's already taken my husband and my son's father he was working so so so much overtime to pay for the cucumber's care for the experimental therapy's insurance wind cover because this one was going to be the breakthrough he was tired and defeated and disappointed he sought counseling as well but I don't think he could ever say the words I don't want my son in my home either he's ruined my older son I was so wrapped up on the younger I never realized how ignored and damaged he was he lost his father too I didn't just lose my husband he is my priority now and this malignant

Starting point is 00:44:29 lump can be someone else's problem at least they'll be paid a wage to take care of him at least they'll get a break from him when they punch out I just want to never think of him again and I'm not sorry and for that I'm sorry thanks for reading um there's some edits she goes thanks and then a username for calling me a liar are you a medical doctor if your google flu was any good you would have stumbled on 3p mosaic deletion duplication syndrome that is my that is the disorder my son has I've basically identified myself by posting that but hey it's better than private messages telling me to kill myself if you look at the features of 3p deletion syndrome they look like downs my insurance didn't cover afp testing which would have told us it wasn't

Starting point is 00:45:17 downs and I didn't think we needed it I had a regular ultrasound and a 3d both doctors were 99 percent sure it was downs this post was absolutely not fiction instead the mods and especially you slash pecan eeks just decided it was if anyone would like I'll dox myself you can see my id to verify my name my marriage license and my husband's death certificate I will then link you to the news article of the freak industrial accident that ended his life so you can see it's the same person as for not choosing hospice for my son I can't about a year ago I myself was hospitalized with severe depression and cpt sd there's proof of that too during that time my late husband's mother petitioned to get control as my son's medical proxy and got it I'm fighting it but it's a long

Starting point is 00:46:05 complicated process there are competency hearings there are statements from doctors and evaluations unless she is okay with hospice which she refuses I cannot decide that I have custody I cannot make medical decisions she agreed to residential care which I feel is the second best option so he's going into residential care as for mistaking a child choking with hitting I was downstairs I couldn't hear what my older son was saying I only knew he was speaking go punch a blanket or I don't know a person with weak muscle tone then ask said person with weak muscle tone to cough they don't cough normally slash forcefully it's more of a strong puff similar to again I don't know a muted punch when you're used to jumping at every strange sound

Starting point is 00:46:52 it's difficult to discern what's what sometimes so pecan eeks anything else you'd like to know care to admit I just might be telling the truth there were identifying details I left out but guess y'all need them this person has been through it and I don't I will say I don't like the writing where it's like oh this sack of cells this lump of potato this mutated cucumber or whatever other describing terms she used for this child that is still a person but you can clearly tell they are at their wits fucking end and yeah I it's tough I am curious about the comments say I don't really I don't really want to comment on the decision I I just it's this is under the unqualified this is like like the unqualified episode yeah I just think you can like still

Starting point is 00:48:02 empathize with her sure but I just think I could never get myself mentally to a place where I could know what it's like to be in her position as a parent raising this child for seven years I don't know how to mentally get to the point where without going through that to make a type of a decision like this oh I had a bug on me oh we're really out here I know um and then I don't know I just there's so much unknown but so based on that you get to a point where you're you've tried everything in the book and you really it's not the fact like she's pointing out very clearly that it's not that she got an imperfect child she just feels like this isn't a child at all she's just losing herself to this and if you go through the loss of your husband and if

Starting point is 00:49:04 you see your older son struggling as much as he does and you think that wow this is going to be forever and I might end up making a bad decision against myself for doing something terrible then it's like what from a mind that could never get to this place without going through it then at what point how much compromising and taking away of yourself and your life can you do when you're like are you're literally going to run yourself into the ground I don't then not be able to parent her other child even so I don't know what's right what's wrong I don't know what's fair what's not fair I'm just trying to think through just the amount of weights and shit she's gone through and just how much she carries on her shoulders every day

Starting point is 00:50:02 absolutely especially not instantly be like nope you are like a completely terrible human it's just I don't think that at all and I know some people will I mean right but I have a different lens because I you know I'm an occupational therapist and I have worked with profoundly disabled mentally disabled people and it's tough there's there's a lot of syndromes like this that like Angelman's is one that comes to mind where you know it's it's case by case every kid is case by case every person but a couple of the the ones that I read on were like parents describing it and their their kid doesn't know them as the parent we're right yeah like the kid doesn't know anything and I can't imagine that would be really tough like that's why I think like choosing to be

Starting point is 00:50:54 a parent is like truly the biggest decision because it's just it's a again kind of a rabbit hole and people do make decisions when they find out their kid is going to be imperfect that they terminate the pregnancy so these decisions are so personal to each person going through it but I think this one is the best for her and a care facility like if the son is so resentful to where he's willing to go into this kid's room and beat him up he is safer out of the home it's a toxic environment for everyone involved yeah and so at the time of the post when I screenshot it one of the comments was I worked 10 years in a facility for individuals with special needs some being profound all situations are different and I saw with my own eyes families that were simply better because of our facility

Starting point is 00:51:49 no shame for you none zero the next comment I work with profoundly disabled children every day so I probably understand better than most unfortunately in the vast majority of cases a miraculous treatment for a brain disease doesn't exist especially if there was nothing there in the first place most times the best you can hope for is to slow the progression of damage I'm sorry for what your family has been through and I wish the best for you yeah see that's the type of knowledge I would I was referring to yeah being able to speak from yeah because they would know a lot better in dealing or in taking care of these types of people yeah I think that's kind of where I was getting with the how much do you compromise yourself without

Starting point is 00:52:41 literally taking out the rest of your life and your other child's life so that comment put it in perspective I mean someone comments after that too and I think with like yeah there's therapies that will help so like OT is a big part of therapies for these kiddos when they're babies toddlers I mean throughout life like a lot of these kiddos will get OT services throughout life yeah but when it's a chromosomal thing like your genetic code kind of like determines who you are and there's certain therapies that like can help improve things but when it's so severe it kind of is one of those things like it is what it is like you're only going to see so much improvement and with this kid out like it sounds like she you know and her husband tried everything even experimental stuff that

Starting point is 00:53:32 insurance wouldn't cover yeah so it sounds like you know she's exhausted all efforts there it's truly like that person says like no blame no shame yeah it's it's a lot I'll try to find the link for this one I do have screenshots and there's there's some really you know dark comments thought-provoking comments that I don't really want to read it's just not something I really want to give air to but like one of them got two awards and it's it's basically implying that like people like that shouldn't exist I don't know I don't really have a take on this one other than the fact I don't think she's making the wrong choice I think everyone needs to make their own decisions that fit them and their family best and it's kind of what this is here yeah Utah is growing

Starting point is 00:54:24 and we're growing too what started on the U of U campus has grown to over 110 000 members with 20 locations and we're ready to meet even more of you more than a campus or a branch we're Utah's teachers businesses and families for over 65 years we've been part of your community and while our name is changing our commitment to you is not university credit union is now U first credit union see why it's getting even better here welcome to U first visit us at U first cu.com moving along this one is not a dark confession yay yay okay so this was posted in am I the asshole um I screenshotted it it was like 19 hours old or something lots of awards already at that point it had 58 silvers so like I mean this this is

Starting point is 00:55:20 this is a big one okay am I the asshole for not taking down my video that was a gift from my best man I have a sister that's six years older than me my parents for years cancel on me last minute because of my sister I have a basketball game oops sorry sister doesn't feel like going I am graduating oops sorry sister had a bad day at work they have missed major and smaller events in my life because of her meltdowns I met the love of my life we decided to tie the knot from the beginning I told my parents how I am worried my sister will ruin another special moment in my life my mom told me over and over again it would not happen the day of my wedding I received a voicemail from my mom saying they couldn't come because my sister's dog was sick and she was upset I was hurt

Starting point is 00:56:11 my best man however is a jokester he took my phone then went to my fiance and asked if he could post a video of our wedding as a gift on social media she loved the idea I had no idea about it until I came home our honeymoon was at a lake side cabin no cell service I had the post caption was quote my best friend he is an amazing person even if his parents never showed up for him video was still pictures of us next to her parents me on the dance floor cutting the cake where you would normally see both parents in wedding pictures the sound behind the video was my mom's voicemail explaining how they couldn't come because my sister's dog was sick I came home a week later two hundreds of messages family members from both sides insisting I take

Starting point is 00:57:05 it down I was told my sister hasn't stopped crying my mom is refusing to leave the house I may be the asshole here I didn't take it down when I got my messages I didn't call my family back right away I waited until my vacation time was over at work and enjoyed my time with my wife in our new home before I contacted anyone my dad told me to take down the video it was quote just a bad night for them that they will make it up to me and my wife for not coming my reply was exactly how do you plan to make up my wedding it's a once in a lifetime thing you choose to ignore my feelings on the whole matter then he just repeated he will make it up to me I told him I would take down the video only when he made up missing my wedding flustered we both hung

Starting point is 00:57:56 up the phone before we both said things we shouldn't have am I the asshole here I could have just taken down the video definitely not this is an easy one this is an easy one this is a good confession though right yeah I like this I would have done the same shit I know I would have done this type of stuff all along this is nuts why are the parents so wrapped around her finger I'm wondering I'm wondering if she's disabled in some way and like really relies on them that was like my first thought but at the same time like you can have someone come in for respite care you can hire like a caregiver for that time there is no excuse there's no excuse for missing your child's wedding who cares if her dog is sick that's the worst excuse I've ever heard ever even for friends to miss a

Starting point is 00:58:46 wedding yeah but parents yeah their dog is there's something so we love our pets we absolutely love our pets they are like family but that's the worst excuse like what is the dog sick with did it just like is it just having even if the dog died it's not their dog yeah go to the wedding are you kidding if the sister has a dog she should be capable of like taking care of the dog on her own sister's nightmare she's a nightmare what were some of the other reasons like they missed their the they missed the graduation for something too yeah it's dumb I just love that she she's now the one crying all day and mom won't leave the house this is a terrible family this is toxic 101 they should teach this in school they should be like here's

Starting point is 00:59:35 the definition of toxic is this and then they'll read this story yeah because this is ridiculous no this is so so bad I don't even need any other context it's just there's no context needed it's just fucking weird dude what's going on here I don't know it seems like some sort of emotional manipulation like from the sister clearly but at the same time why can't the parents be parents the parents are weak get it together I also the parents are weak the sister is six years older than OP so OP is getting married do you assume 20s so sister you know maybe 30 maybe even late 30s 40s like what the fuck time to be done with her time to come off I love that the video just stayed because you know they're all they're getting all riled up maybe they'll never realize it

Starting point is 01:00:29 maybe they'll never be like wow yeah we're really fucked up this is like been going on forever and I don't know if people like that ever truly realize it I think sometimes sister won't I think the social backlash from this could maybe make them change their ways but I sure as shit when take it down I think his response like how are you gonna make up my wedding like that was a once in a lifetime thing like I'll I'll take it down when you make it up to me the best man this is why he's the best man yeah this is why you chose him because it's so perfect and like when they're all like hey take it down take it down or whatever moms won't leave the house and blah blah blah good stay home that's what you've been doing for every major event that OP has had stay home

Starting point is 01:01:17 bitch I would have like doubled down I would have posted on my story and been like again love this video thanks blow above for making this I know this is why you're the best man and just rub it the fuck in because it's just so good I want to see the video using her voicemail as the background noise it's perfect it's so well orchestrated because you know the best man's been he's been dealing with this shit too the best man's the one who's going to be there for him at graduation everything forever and he's like this is fucked yeah like I'll help you do this and it's so perfect because it wasn't like the group it wasn't like the groom deliberately did this no it was like oh no my best man made the video I had no say in this I didn't know about it literally had no self-service I took

Starting point is 01:02:07 the week off but I love it so I'm leaving it well also like I know how I get when like I'm like in like in conflict with someone and they don't reply to me right away like I get so so anxious to the point where I like feel sick so I love the fact that like the family is truly in the wrong here like no doubt assholes get over yourselves especially the sister for not deleting the video but I love that they had to almost like sit with that and like sweat it out for a week like they had to sweat the fact that this video is still up he's not responding oh my god like what do we do I'd have him make another video like I know I'm sure they have plenty of voicemails to use for this it's just so pathetic it's honestly pathetic yeah parents are a joke

Starting point is 01:02:56 very very unfortunate um so the top comment on this one not the asshole the truth hurts sometimes and your parents and sister just got whammyed your friend is awesome please leave the video up and that one has when I screenshotted it almost 60 000 uh of votes yeah like as it should your friend didn't manipulate their words your parents would have nothing to cry about if they hadn't done anything wrong they skipped your wedding with one seriously pathetic excuse let them feel the effects of that yeah it's so dumb yeah baby I like it Picasso oh okay one more story in the great outdoors one more one more in the great outdoors and then we will finish this theme back in the studio I feel like those stories it feels like I fell into a sewer and I'm just stuck down

Starting point is 01:03:49 in the deep trying to find my way out in total darkness damn yeah I like a tunnel that you just keep running and there's there's a light at the end of the tunnel but you just keep running and the faster you run the faster the light like moves away from you yeah and it's just an unachievable you'll never get to the light that's like the worst feeling ever like when we end on those I'm kind of stuck in that it's pretty crazy okay someone should animate that for me any good animators out there I know that's like literally the darkest picture that like no light at the end of the tunnel like oh my god oh there is a light it's just you never reach it yeah so flock oops it makes me feel bad for doing this one to you this next one or this episode both I'm

Starting point is 01:04:38 doing okay now oh okay so this next one am I the asshole for sending my dying mother to hospice because of what she said I 30 male lost my wife five years ago she had a 10 year old son who I got custody of after she passed by a father signed off parental rights at birth and never even met the kid and we had a six year old daughter together my 10 year old son I consider him my son in every way has down syndrome my dying mother asked to come live with me two weeks ago to spend more time with us because she is dying and only has months left to live I told her she can come spend a week here first she's here now and we'll see how it works for everyone most of all the kids she came things were going okay then a few days ago she special ordered a new set of toys for my six year old

Starting point is 01:05:29 a really expensive one which I let fly even though I don't normally just let my kids choose hundreds of dollars worth of toys but I get that she was trying to do something nice for her grandkids then today the set arrived just before dinner and at dinner I asked my son what toys he chose he said he didn't choose any toys I asked my mom what he chose my son sometimes makes us things up and I thought he just forgot and she said that she only bought the toys for quote her grandbaby I said that she has two grandkids because I have two children then she said quote he's not your son I told the kids to go play in the living room and told my mother that this kind of talking is unacceptable in my house she then said it's true you have no obligation here

Starting point is 01:06:17 you should go to foster care or stick it in a facility before your life is around I flipped out called her all sorts of names and told her I'll be calling hospice first thing in the morning and have them take her the same day which I did she cried all night begged me to not make her go die alone in a hospice but I said she crossed a line and I'm done my aunts called me an asshole some of my friends said I should have just let it go because her time is limited and my sister who lives abroad said it was just plain cruel my cousin said what she said was awful and I did the right thing I feel a bit guilty over it anyways am I the asshole no shipper off edit I will still visit my mother in hospice if she wants me to saying this because many people

Starting point is 01:07:01 mentioned it what do you say shipper off out the door see you top comment is quoting what the mom said stick it in a facility and then they like repeat it with italicized so it's like this slanty yeah and it goes stick it in a facility oh my god not the asshole my second cousin cousin's kid has down syndrome and he's the most precious six-year-old that did walk the earth if I heard someone say this about him I would straight up punch them edit I don't need a bunch of messages telling me that he's actually my first cousin once removed I've already been informed multiple times over my genealogical faux pause yeah that's not what this is about at all yeah I don't know why people get so hung up on this stupid shit family like we've seen it so many times family is

Starting point is 01:07:48 chosen family and in this instance it is literally family because they are your family you're raising this kid yeah and if anyone wants to go if anyone wants to go adopt a kid or however you end up with someone new in your world and in your life and in your family whether it's the relationships whether it's taking on children however it happens yeah if you're choosing to raise then they're your kid like there's certain people that you find that are so weird about like the bloodline and so weird it's like what is this like a king and queen and this is gonna be like an illegitimate heir that's gonna get killed and then someone's gonna step like why does all this still matter so much like who cares dude it's who you surround yourself with it's who you want to be

Starting point is 01:08:41 a part of your life and even sometimes chosen family which we've also seen a lot of stories cannot be a part of your life anymore yeah because it's just oh but they're family yeah but they're ruining my life so no for a comment like this and it's you're trying to you're trying to do the right thing and and and let her come live with you and you were trying to make it a really beautiful situation absolutely and for this kind of negativity and dark energy and weird old fashion ideals to be so present and it's not gonna go away but to have that in your home for however long she lives she could cause some real shit and you don't need that ship her off out the door like ship put a label on it out the door no it's unfair it's unfair that the child

Starting point is 01:09:36 had to hear that too not put a label on it i don't want to like but no shipping label get over here yeah i got that i know but i didn't yeah okay we got it we got it the people will understand yeah no i i think this is very justified and it sucks because she is dying and losing you know losing a parent is unimaginable it's i'm sure the most difficult thing ever so when you're faced with this where your mom is like unwilling to accept your child but she's also dying also all this other family that's like bitching at him you you take care of her you bring her into your home yeah you enjoy her the sister that's abroad time to come home sweetie like time to come home and help take care of mom it's such a terrible thing to say and it feels like it feels so intentional and

Starting point is 01:10:28 like she was trying to make a point with this purchase yeah she was she wanted this to come out so i cannot imagine this is the first time no and so that's why like from op to make this decision just like yep you're out it makes me feel as if this it is justifiable based on what she said i think you can make a case to say yes it's justified we did have tornado warnings last night but something about the whole situation makes me feel like this has come up in the past and so this kind of feels like you know what i tried to do something for you final straw like this isn't gonna work it doesn't seem like it's the first time she said something like this been a little unhinged as we would say but definitely will be

Starting point is 01:11:25 the last she says anything to that kid that was a little dark i'm getting dark now but i mean she kind of made that choice she did she put herself there and it's really tough like you you know i if it were me and i was you know on my way out of this world i wouldn't want to go out with any animosity or cruelness or it just seems like she's trying to make a stand yeah she's like this is i'm gonna get my points heard and it's weird yeah it would be it wouldn't seem like the way you'd want to go about you know your last however long no and like obviously not the asshole like overall yeah it's not the asshole op does respond a bit um someone goes first off not the asshole second just info does your son have any extreme difficulties that he needs care for because

Starting point is 01:12:20 if he does please make sure he gets the help he needs even if that means having a facility house him don't be ashamed of getting help for your son blah blah blah your mother was offline in every way you did the right thing and please let your son pick out a nice toy so he does not feel left out and hope he goes he doesn't have any difficulties like that he is very well behaved does great in special needs school he can he can prepare his food with some help he makes us all sandwiches he can dress himself he knows his hygiene if his doctors and therapists thought it would be best for him to be in a facility he would of course be but he is just a special needs kid who has every potential to almost be fully independent some days with a little help he will

Starting point is 01:13:04 for example always need help with his bills and handling money and when i told my in-laws about all of this my mother-in-law said that she'll order toys for my son the ones he picks out and he already told both kids that each grandma will buy toys for one of them so the kids won't feel my mother's despise for my son neither of them oh it's just so icky god i know someone else goes thank you for sticking up for your son i was also thinking hospice is reasonable for you as being a single parent to two young kids is hard in itself but excluding her own grandson is deplorable and op goes it would have been hard to manage child care and my mother's care but with hired help from my mother nurses caretakers for a couple hours a day's etc it would

Starting point is 01:13:46 have been manageable but now i just can't i won't risk her saying something like that to my son's face someday right that's right your kids come first your mom's talk is painfully damaging not only to your son but to your daughter and to yourself yeah that's something that sticks with you too out i've had someone say something like that to me in the past where um like because of the fact that jerry like adopted me and isn't necessarily my bio dad i've had someone say to me like oh well like you're not really family like you're not real family it's that medieval shit it was in the context too where i was like oh yeah like grandma and they were like oh well she's not really your grandma because you're not really a part of the family it was like god people

Starting point is 01:14:30 are spreading this to their kids it was so fucked up so it's just it's unfortunate what's the point it's something that sticks with you what do they need to prove like why does it matter to them it makes them feel better it makes them feel more relevant more included exclusive i don't i don't know i can't begin to wrap my head around that because i don't i don't really think that way but it's tough and it sticks with you and it rocks you and yeah for someone that sounds like such a sweet little kiddo oh it'd be he doesn't have to go through that it'd be terrible doesn't deserve to go through that well and it's because it's not true no that's the biggest point it's not like you're hiding something it's just that's not how it is we don't live in the year 1000 no 2022

Starting point is 01:15:13 bitch which even then it was wrong but i mean it was it was what people literally abided like it's all about the that was like strict like that was almost like law back then that was a big deal but it's come on let's get into the real world if you're a business owner the way you pay your vendors may be limiting your financial performance paying by check costs your business time money and resources and puts you at increased exposure to fraud first community bank has a solution save time and money by paying your vendors with the first community bank visa card plus earn valuable rewards on every transaction learn more about this powerful tool by visiting fcbutah.com member fdic equal housing lender okay we're back from the lake back in the studio unfortunately i know

Starting point is 01:16:05 minnesota was so so so nice but let's get into this one yes trigger warning on this one you guys talks of miscarriages am i the asshole for telling my sister i hope she never has kids i 22 female have three-year-old twin boys and i had a baby girl not even two days ago my sister jody is 34 and has been suffering with infertility for the past 10 years as well as repeated miscarriages i used to feel really bad for her and also a bit guilty as i got pregnant twice while being on contraception it caused some tension between us when i was pregnant with my twins because she was jealous and i was already feeling intense guilt this time around she wasn't as jealous but still felt it was unfair as my husband and i have decided we are done having

Starting point is 01:16:55 kids i offered to be a surrogate for my sister as soon as i'm cleared after this baby and she seemed like she was absolutely over the moon with that in turn she offered to watch the twins while i was in labor with my new baby which was a relief on my part i went into labor on thursday morning and jody came over to watch the kids while my husband and i went to the hospital she seemed like she was in a great mood and promptly rushed us out the door everything seemed fine until we got home this morning to find thousands worth of destruction to pretty much every baby item we've purchased even the crib mattress was torn open everything was ruined jody tried to pin it on the twins but they're three and this level of destruction had to have been done by an adult

Starting point is 01:17:44 my twins can't even reach some of the stuff that was destroyed and they certainly do not know how to open diaper packages and tear them apart i know kids especially toddlers can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time but i also know my children aren't capable of doing what happened i told my sister to get the fuck out of my house and stay away from me and my family i got really angry and said a lot of stuff i shouldn't have but one of them was quote i hope you never have a child and if you do then i'll tell it exactly what you've done to mine i told her we can't afford to fix the damage she's caused but since she still denies it she won't cough up the money i told her because of her the baby doesn't even have a safe space to sleep my parents caught wind of what i said

Starting point is 01:18:33 and even after i explained the situation they still think i'm being an asshole for saying something so vile to my sister quote after all she's done for us obviously my judgment is clouded so am i the asshole wow this this is a roller coaster yeah because i went from like no yeah no yep no yeah like i don't know it's okay we got to start from the beginning do you want my initial thought why i'm not just wondering sure i think not the asshole but okay let's go now okay so initially when she starts having kids and her sister can't i understand the feeling from both sides yeah and so i'm rolling with it i'm rolling with it then we get to the point where she offers to be a surrogate which is amazing like it it totally

Starting point is 01:19:30 flipped it for me from being like okay i can understand how she's really jealous and that must be terrible like to go through miscarriages and and you know struggle with fertility right yeah oh i'm with you i'm fully following so i can imagine that is very very tough and that at times you may not be able to control what you say or how strong your emotions get but for her to offer to become to be a surrogate for you i think that kind of clears all that out it doesn't take it away but i'm saying there's no reason for her to direct anymore of that towards the sister absolutely not because the sister basically said i will help you i will go through all of this for you to be able to have this experience and for you to have a child literally one of the most

Starting point is 01:20:21 selfless things a person could do and so i think that takes away or should take any negative feelings away from her sister toward her in that in that regard because it's like that's the ultimate sacrifice for this then it's like you act all cool and everything's great rush them out and then you i don't know what happens to from from offering to be a surrogate you then take that and then go and like destroy everything in the house that's related to babies and kids i don't know what in the fuck happens to to flip like that mental breakdown i guess because they're going to the hospital it's happening that moment so that's man but it's like they literally she offered she offered to solve this for you in a way that the only way that she

Starting point is 01:21:11 could literally i will say like the top comment i think hits it on the head so they go not the asshole your sister flew into a jealous rage when faced with all the things she wants and doesn't have can you imagine how terrifying that was for your twins those poor babies which i would agree with that like everything that person said i think she was like able to come back down which i see again and again we've talked a lot about infertility on this podcast and miscarriages and stories about rainbow babies and other people being jealous and things like that and i think that's something that i've even seen people you know talk about in the comments on stuff where it's like yes i struggled with infertility but that doesn't mean i wasn't happy when my loved ones

Starting point is 01:21:56 got pregnant and obviously you're going to be jealous like if you really want a baby and you're trying for a baby in your face with such a difficult route of achieving a pregnancy and going through miscarriages and all this shit of course you're going to have triggers around that you're going to be jealous you might be sad resentful i mean there's an abundance of emotions you could put behind that but to then like let it affect the way you treat someone or to let your jealousy and your emotions override you to where you destroy thousands of dollars worth of stuff for your sister who's a new mom a 22 year old mom a young mom who is probably not offered who offered to be your surrogate who is probably not well established and can replace these items

Starting point is 01:22:41 22 is young to be a mom of three i want to take another nine months like yeah nine being pregnant is such a sacrifice like i said i think it's one of the biggest sacrifices someone could make is being a surrogate and so the fact that she did that and while those little three year olds were there can you imagine like hearing all the noise of stuff getting smashed it's no like she's not doing it quietly like let me beat this mattress and tear it apart quietly i'm sure she's yeah enraged and has noises and these poor kiddos were probably terrified if you try to equate it where the level to which she went in and destroyed property and freaked out and did crazy shit was probably the same level of what she said to her yeah the sister back so it's

Starting point is 01:23:30 it's probably justified i think it is i just think there's a little part of me that thinks like yes there's certainly there's certainly got to be some i don't know if it's even boundaries at this point or if it's just literally limited interaction or just not at all there's got to be something done with this the sister relationship just my first reaction when you read it i understand it's like majority is probably not the asshole and in that but that was the overall vote yeah the thought for me is just that when she turned around and said what she said it does make sense and i probably would have made a similar move but i just wonder if there's any part of you that regrets the level to which you take it just the same as the sister

Starting point is 01:24:17 going to such an extreme i'm sure there's regret on both sides because nobody had to go all the way up here like they both did i don't know being in a situation like that and reacting but yeah a lot of emotions a lot of hormones involved she literally just gave birth and then coming home where she expects you know her home to be left as it was with a safe environment for her new baby yeah right a crib a place for this little one to sleep yeah i obviously think this confession was said out of extreme like anger hurt just being overwhelmed at your wit's end in the moment but i still think it is justified like i don't think op is the asshole at all but i just wonder if it would have been better just being like get the fuck out of my house

Starting point is 01:25:08 and don't talk to me ever again and oh and what i said about being a surrogate that is never ever going to happen right after what you did and leave it at that and it would take some mental control oh my god which i don't know if i would have in the moment but you just know like that is what she was like holding on to and that shouldn't be used as a form of manipulation but i would not offer such a sacrifice to someone who just hurt me in such a deep deep way oh yeah you're more closing the door it's off it's off the table it's not manipulation it is just off the table well not that's kind of what my initial thought was is and then it just goes back and forth because those words you can never take back you are crossing a bridge you can never back up from like you are

Starting point is 01:25:56 you're locked into that forever yeah but as she is with her actions so that's where i get stuck on this one because the words are i mean you know the pain to which this woman has gone through with this situation and then to say something like that that's real shit that's that's really real you know op in this sense is going through something super traumatic now too because of what her sister did yeah and it's not like op got pregnant in spite of her sister it's not like it's not like op getting pregnant was intentionally to hurt her sister right op just got pregnant it's just the way the cookie crumbled on that one but her sister went above and beyond and took meticulous actions to hurt her i mean everything in this room was destroyed tearing open packs of

Starting point is 01:26:47 diapers i was pretty wearing tearing them apart it's pretty nuts thousands and thousands of dollars do you know how expensive baby shit is yeah it's insane overly also the fact that her parents are like for everything your sister's done for you what what does the sister done stayed with them stayed with her twins for two days it's always tough to get accounts from people in the family though because you don't know who they're being manipulated by well there's stories of hearing they're enabling her shitty behavior i know and it's just like it that's i hope to never be in that type of position as a parent right yeah because you're literally caught in the middle and you're almost forced to take a side and so that's just i i don't know how to

Starting point is 01:27:29 even include that part but that's just crazy i mean it it's nuts comments really popped off on this one too i mean some people this was just posted a day ago so it's still kind of developing but like the top comments are very much so like cemented the one i read had 32 000 up votes this one is one of the most awarded it's got 29 000 up votes and they go op you need to file a police report for destruction of property and maybe even contact cps your sister is unwell and should not be allowed to provide care to children you didn't know but now you do never let your sister anywhere near you or your children your sister needs mental health services and she's not going to get them if your parents rather pla rather pass the blame onto you yeah

Starting point is 01:28:16 just sucks like which i mean it does it does sound like a mental breakdown like it sounds like she really did snap yeah well for sure and that's that's where i start like i i don't want to call it sympathy but i just start to feel bad in the sense that like this lady has gone through such torment with this situation not because of her sister because of her struggles with fertility and having a child of her own and that probably i mean it sounds like that was going to be a defining part of this woman's life if she was looking forward to it this much so it just it's like hard to just hear about someone going through such pain for so long and then it leads to such a mental breakdown and reaction like i mean you have to feel just a little bit for them

Starting point is 01:29:07 just in the sense that like yes the actions they took were terrible and wrong but just to mentally be tormented to that point by your own mind and by your own experience to get to that place where you have an action like that is just like it's it's sad it's really sad and i i hope she gets the help she needs but i it's you know it's something that comes up a lot it's like are are other people responsible for our triggers or are we responsible for our triggers and like trying to combat them the best way we can oh 100 percent there's nothing to do with the sister no i know and so it's just like i do i have a lot of you know empathy for her and i i understand fertility struggles are so challenging and can take a toll on you mentally physically

Starting point is 01:29:59 emotionally everything and i i i get it she snapped she had a mental breakdown in that moment and like the top comment said she was presented with everything she didn't have as her sister went to the hospital to have yet another baby right and it's it was why me why not and with the surrogate thing i mean her true hope is to have one herself like that's her dream it seems like that the surrogate is you know it's it's another option but i don't think it's her true dream well yeah and some women some people that have the ability to give birth do dream of being a mom of having their kid of the birth process and the being pregnant and feeling the baby kick and all these things i mean even my mom when we were homeless asked you know would justin would you be

Starting point is 01:30:50 okay if morgan wanted a surrogate like would you be okay missing out on the little things of feeling your baby kick and all that and it is you know it's a conversation to have with your partner and it's a problem i shouldn't say a problem it is an issue i see come up on reddit quite a bit where um i haven't saved for a theme i think it's medical i can't remember what one but a woman's husband wants her to give birth and will not stay with her if she's unwilling to have their children naturally and it's a deal breaker for her and so i think you know it's it's definitely something you should talk about with people you're with like even no matter what type of couple you're in like lesbian couples gay couples i mean i think it's something to consider like

Starting point is 01:31:38 are you going to be the one that carries are you going to be the one that donates genetic material true like how do you want to go about this because i think this can be an issue that can really cause conflict between people but yeah i feel for her sister however i feel for op more and i don't yeah well the action is like unforgivable as are the the words uh i think i hold and this is me personally i think i hold more weight on actions than words well yeah that's the cliche but i think you can recognize i think most people would recognize like which isn't a cliche i mean it's it's true sticks and stones maybe no the saying is sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me is that what it is so no i'm saying actions are louder than words

Starting point is 01:32:27 actions speak louder than words yeah yeah so i don't know i just i look at it and it's like even the sister in that moment could realize like yeah my sister freaked out and said that to me because of what i did but she's she's saying she didn't even do it she's trying to she's trying to blame the three-year-old so maybe i would have more sympathy for her if she said hey you know what i did do this and i'm extremely sorry and i need help and i need help i'm you know extremely saddened by this whole situation yes and i lied and said it was your three-year-olds like she's still not owning up to it and she's blaming it on two toddlers yeah and op does like i forgot about that part yeah and op does kind of give a description like someone commented which the

Starting point is 01:33:10 comment was deleted but op responded and goes the crib mattress was cut with a blade of some sort my toddlers cannot reach where the knives are kept and then another comment goes info can you tell us more about the damage and why it had to have been done by an adult not the asshole by the way even if was the toddlers she should have prevented them obviously which again like blaming the toddlers doesn't really check out because why did you let two kids why did you leave them unattended for so long why did you let them do so much damage they could have hurt themselves you were neglectful yeah right you were neglectful with my children also think about how we feel when we get back from a trip back from the airport we get in the house and this lady just gave birth

Starting point is 01:33:53 i know that no that's what i'm saying imagine like the feelings we have when we come home after a long trip and the one thing you think about is shower and then sleep or just relaxing in bed oh my god and if anything comes in the way of that it's just like oh fuck someone better hand me a snickers stat so imagine having just had a baby and what that does physically what that does mentally what i don't know i i'll never know i'll never know what that's like to come home from that experience and the emotions and just the hormones and everything going on so it could be said i would snap right it's lucky that she just got these words that's what i mean i like you're also coming from not i don't know the right way to say this maybe you can help me but you're coming home

Starting point is 01:34:50 not with like a happy set clear perfect not you know what i'm trying to say you're like you're not coming home just like after a day in the park and you're happy and just like where you can maybe compose yourself in a moment like that you just had a kid yeah you got crazy emotions going on and all you fucking want to do is probably relax lay down and sleep yeah so op describes some of the damage and goes a lot of the damage was beyond what my toddlers could do for a start the baby monitor was taken off the wall and to get to that my husband needed a step ladder no chair in the world would have made them tall enough to reach no it was not the kids there's no other like we we get it it's definitely not the kids yeah there was also a child proof handle on the

Starting point is 01:35:33 door and i've tested them countless times the boys don't know how to open it yet so unless the door was opened for them they couldn't have gone in a picture painted for us was framed on the wall again out of reach of the boys it was smashed and since their barefoot 100 of the time at home one or both would have gotten cut neither of them have a scratch anywhere on their body damn lastly both the boys denied it i believe them of course if the glove fits you i think it would be so crazy if they're like oh wait we forgot we had this indoor camera and then they see the boys meticulously like one boost the other one they're like cutting shit and they're doing stuff and then they both like at this age frame it so it looks like the other

Starting point is 01:36:20 lady and she's just like sleeping or they gave her sleeping pills or something and they're three years old and they're pulling this off you see them like reach up and grab the knife and they're like cutting the mattress and then they put everything back and like go back and just act like nothing happened can you imagine this sounds like a horror movie like doesn't do that or the doll like oh my god it'd be like dexter but like times two you might have just given someone a plot for a movie out there isn't that crazy though imagine if it was your mind the way your mind works sometimes but a couple more comments from op but nothing else to write home about i stumbled on that i feel like i tripped my way through that one you did a good job

Starting point is 01:37:02 and now for a palette cleanser already already yeah oh okay well this is good this is a lot easier than the lake yeah the lake stories were a little little intense lake was bad yeah but so palette cleanse give it to me palette cleanser cleanse my palette i think i 51 male i'm falling for my son's friend's dad what do i do i'm aware that sounds crazy my son 28 male has been friends with this guy since college and considering we're both single fathers i'm a widow he's divorced with similar interests they decided to introduce us to each other we get along so well after my wife passed i really haven't gotten out much so having a true friend again means a lot to me most of the time when we get together it's over dinner which usually ends up feeling like a date

Starting point is 01:37:55 sometimes we watch movies together and he doesn't move away if i've moved closer to him we have these moments of tension where we just look at each other and i feel the same things i've always felt for women to clarify we're both straight i may have had some less than straight thoughts about other men when i was younger but i loved my wife so i always assumed it was just hormones i hate myself for posting sappy shit like this but he makes me feel things i've never felt before i think about him all the time and we're always texting each other in a way that feels flirtatious to me i'm not sure if he's aware of that though i've always said i would never date after losing my wife and i know he feels similarly about his ex i know he still harbors feelings for her i've

Starting point is 01:38:40 thought about it a lot and i would be open to dating him specifically our kids think we're just good friends which isn't wrong but i swear there's more there my son has jokingly called him my boyfriend and it felt so good even if he didn't mean it i feel stuck what do i do yeah this is a good one yeah i like that the thing i think about is it adds a whole another level of complexity the fact that they both were in straight relationships so you don't you know you don't fully know right so you so figuring that out is is definitely a step but it makes me think about when you first start talking to someone or you meet someone new just in life right you start to really like them or you start to color this whole experience with them and so you start viewing it through these

Starting point is 01:39:37 lenses like these love goggles and you can start making things bigger than they i'm not saying this is the situation this is just what it reminds me of and you start looking at little interactions like oh the way she looked at me then she's into me like or that text sounded really flirty and you start building this whole story and then sometimes you end up with it's like wait what no no what and then you start to feel crazy because you're like wait what the fuck yeah and then you you're all heartbroken and and stuff so be careful with that but because i that's happened to me and i know that's happened to people that's happened to some of you i know where you like painted into this whole picture and it ends up you know they weren't on the same page or whatever

Starting point is 01:40:27 but in this case i really hope that that's not the case and it ends up happening i think one of the only paths to take is to communicate i know and this is where the communicate thing is very interesting because you can just kind of keep enjoying like letting it build seeing what else happens and and whatever and then when it becomes unbearable you just let it out and you just it's very delicate right they're only the only people you don't want to ruin your friendship either if you are misinterpreting something or right reading into it well it's like friends dating within friends circles right you you go through this whole debate in your mind well i don't want to wreck what we have because i love it and it's great there's an old saying don't

Starting point is 01:41:20 shit where you eat i know but sometimes if you shit where you eat it can be the best me that you've ever had okay and so it may be it that's the scary thing is it either turns it either turns into the best decision or the worst decision you've ever made yeah it's a fucking flip up away and it's a it's a risk for sure but there he's gonna know yeah kind of what the right play is here but i think you do you should push yourself to get to that point yeah because we've had stories in the past where people kind of debate like oh do i say something whatever and then they do and they're like oh my god i wish i had done this two years earlier i'm so happy this is the happiest i've ever been i know um but then there's also the people who are like wait what

Starting point is 01:42:08 i mean we do have an update so we don't have to guess on this oh okay gosh i'm just running away this episode no you're doing a great job the top comment on the original post which it was posted nine months ago on relationship advice it only got about a thousand upvotes and it's now deleted deleted by the user the user doesn't exist but the top comment or one that's labeled best currently is you may be bisexual it's not always 50 50 you may be 99 percent attracted to women and one percent attracted to men but no matter their gender just communicate mm-hmm and so there was a comment at the time um that this is screenshotted from op and they go all of the positive comments i've gotten have given me a lot of courage and i think i'm ready to have that conversation with him

Starting point is 01:43:00 update okay which was posted three days after the original post nice all right so i finally sat down with him and had the big conversation i'm not the best storyteller so bear with me first i took him out to a fancy restaurant and made every effort to treat it like a date i drove i paid i held doors open for him i tried my best to flirt with him typical date things i think he definitely noticed my advances as he seemed a lot more flustered in a good way afterwards we went back to my place and watched a movie unfortunately i didn't have the balls to put my arm around him or anything else people suggested to me at this point i was definitely panicking tough been there i felt that i had already pushed the boundaries a little bit too

Starting point is 01:43:50 far for that one night at some point i guess he noticed how tense i was and he asked if i had any wine i did we drank about a bottle each and once we were thoroughly tipsy he asked why i was being so weird i told him i had a lot of my mind and he asked if i wanted to talk about it anyways this led to a discussion about how hard it is to talk about feelings especially when you're a man i saw my opportunity and took it i brought up how i was pretty sure i was attracted to men when i was younger but didn't feel i could embrace that due to society he nodded and said he could relate to that after that we just kind of looked at each other for a minute and i wanted to kiss him so badly but i didn't he asked me if i had just taken him out on a date and i said that if he

Starting point is 01:44:37 wanted it to be a date then it obviously could have been good play he told me he definitely wanted it to be a date at that point i was so overwhelmed with emotions i didn't know what to do with myself but we ended up just hugging and i thanked him for always being so good to me we made plans for him to take me out on a date as a rebuttal and i'm really excited to see where this goes thank you all so much for your advice and kind words you all gave me the courage to push myself to do all of this there's still a lot i have to work on as far as sexuality goes but at least i scored a second date it's nice it's really good it's perfect i know also um when i read this i didn't want to like interrupt the story um it was when anyways this led to a discussion i said i was

Starting point is 01:45:24 attracted to men but couldn't fully embrace it due to society he nodded and said he could relate to that after that we just kind of looked at each other for a minute and i wanted to kiss him so badly but didn't i when i read that i was literally envisioning like the spider-man meme of like two spider-man pointing at each other being like is it's you it's you it's you and that's like the two of them they're like you like yeah i don't know when you're just reading that you sounded like the guys at the the people at the end of the commercials this is a disclaimer for for gaico gaico is not endorsed by the blue yeah um i know i power read yeah see this this is the kind of thing i need more of like i need this this happy feeling yeah these make me feel happy the other

Starting point is 01:46:08 stories don't make me feel happy yeah so this is good this is great a great way to end you're in luck soon um top comment on that was so cute yeah i'm so happy you had the conversation and that you're both on the same page figuring out your feelings is damn tough but it's also worth it well the best of luck yeah and the best play was the it's a date if you wanted to be well it was him it was the it was the other guy not op oh do you have any line no oh no i think that's pretty chill i think that's pretty chill but it was the did you take me on a date that's where it broke the ice because then it opens the door to be like yeah and he was like okay yeah i hoped it was so now we're all on the same page we're all it's all happy dandy sail into the sunset yeah i this was

Starting point is 01:47:02 this one's been deleted for a while yeah so you don't have any happy updates no updates um beyond the conversation done done done i know then it becomes a confession it was all fake it was lies no is this no we're not no this is real love is real but i do want to announce that we're going to be doing a wholesome episode very very soon potentially me and you okay because you i think you need the wholesome stories more than anyone yeah i'd probably be more traumatized not being a part of a wholesome episode than going through like another confessions episode yeah lauren and all hondra handled the the dark scary stuff better than you surprisingly handle yeah i i think i'm pretty composed yeah but you get really sad after some of them that's why i don't watch the news so

Starting point is 01:47:58 much dark energy like i just don't need it yeah so we're gonna be doing a wholesome episode really soon so if you have found any more stories like this or stories that you find really wholesome whether that's personal stories or reddit threads please please please post them on the two hot takes subreddit or on the two hot takes google form both will be linked i prefer the subreddit but i know some people don't have reddit or are scared to post so i'm giving you both options for this wholesome theme because i want the best of the best stories and i'm really hoping it'll be filmed in a really cool location that but to to be decided i'm sorry go on that was a run on i just there's no periods in there no not even a comma no just a dot dot dot maybe here in there or

Starting point is 01:48:53 send them straight to your boy yeah you can message them to justin on if you want to ensure they are seen send them to justin on his personal instagram yeah but i i also don't want to know the ones for the episode but just like other ones just send them over you know good energy okay um i hope this turned out into a good episode i sorry i just started reading another story how i just saw it in the corner of my eye and i started reading it i'm gonna i'm gonna put it on patreon it's gonna be patreon it's titled i hate my special needs sister and i'm done hiding it so we're not ending on a happy note because we're recording patreon right after this sorry just popping in to tell you there are actually two patreon stories from this theme

Starting point is 01:49:46 after editing the episode i just felt that it was a little heavy and so we bumped two over to patreon and they're intense but i do think they're really important stories to get out there and talk about and i can't wait to share them on patreon with you guys are you okay are you okay yeah i got my buddy okay uh if you're listening justin bought a little skeleton with a plant coming out of its head from Trader Joe's it's in a yogi yogi pose yeah it's really cute little guy yeah but i hope i mashed this episode into something coherent and enjoyable and you like it and the stories didn't traumatize you oh oh oh the tie-dye party for those of you that have bought merch or our members of our patreon we are doing a tie-dye party on sunday september 25th so be sure to buy merch or sign up for patreon

Starting point is 01:50:47 the lowest tier is five dollars and you get four bonus stories a month sometimes some surprises so it's worth it i think but i'm a little biased but uh yeah tie-dye party on the 25th making them wreck their merch well so if you're like me and you have the white sweatshirt and you also drink red wine and are messy um my white sweatshirt has red wine on it already so i need to make it normal oh wearable when's this going down i just said september 25th 25th yeah get it together man oh yeah i'll see if i'm free you better be free i got a switcher for you to tie-dye you did yeah yeah so jocelyn will be there lauren will be there alahandra will potentially be there she's she's a busy gal these days but uh i think that's it on my upload update list things to tell y'all

Starting point is 01:51:44 okay brains brain's mushy bye guys bye bye until next time until next time goodbye bye hi jan from toyota speaking jan i heard it's a good time to buy a toyota sure is from now until april fourth you can shop all your favorites like corolla rav4 sequoia and more imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter sarah when did you hop on the call hi dad mom said you were taking too long on the phone toyota let's go places see your participating toyota dealer for details dealer inventory may vary any our services has a team of technicians that can take care of any

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Two Hot Takes - 80: Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid?

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