Two Hot Takes - 88: This Ain't Legal Advice.. Ft. Dellara aka Legal Baddie

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Dellara otherwise known as Legal Baddie! Dellara is a lawyer so only fitting that we take on stories from r/LegalAdvice. Don't worry though I mixed in a couple of our chaotic ones to give her a proper THT introduction. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this!  LIVE SHOW TICKETS!!! December 2nd in person Los Angeles Show: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/two-hot-takes-the-bourbon-room-tickets/12614315?pl=BourbonRoom December 4th online intimate virtual show with Moment: https://www.moment.co/THT !!! Dellara's socials: tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@legalbaddie?lang=en IG: https://www.instagram.com/dellara/?hl=en Speech: https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4838048/user-clip-dellara-gorjians-daca-presentation Join us for our New Spotify Show: https://spotifylive.link/dtrh to join LIVE !! https://spotify.link/dtrh to listen to already aired episodes !! Patreon for bonus content:  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Upside: Download the FREE Upside App and use promo code: 2hottakes Manscaped: Manscaped.com Promo Code: THT20 Babbel: Babbel.com/THT Kiwi Co: Kiwico.com/THT

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. You guys, our second in-person live show is coming up. December 2nd, we're going to be in Los Angeles at the Bourbon Room. We also have a virtual show that Sunday, December 4th.

Are you ready? Am I ready? Yeah, of course I'm ready. What? Are you sure? Yeah. It's going to be really cool. We're working with Moments again, and we're going to actually have an after party

where we build gingerbread houses. I'm ready to kick some ass. It's going to be a competition between the four of us, me, Justin, Lauren, Alejandra. We're not working together? No. We're pro. We have worked on a team before for Gingerbread House,

but we are each our own individual team working for a big prize. I guess so. Yeah. You'll find the links for both live shows in the description of this episode, but I am so, so excited for this. It's going to be a holiday, spectacular,

both shows in person and virtual, and the stories I'm finding already. They blow the last live show out of the water, like, completely. I just showed Justin one earlier tonight, and it's pretty bad. Yeah, it's going to be crazy. But can't wait to have you guys join us.

So get your tickets early. I'm so excited you're here. I'm so excited to be here. Are you kidding? Okay. This is going to be amazing. I first saw your content, and it was when you had just passed the bar

and you were doing, like, your reveal video with your family, and I remember seeing that and, like, literally crying. I was like, oh, here I am on TikTok. Another day of crying over strangers' lives. Oh, my gosh. Sometimes I'll watch it and cry, too. It's so beautiful.

It's so wild. I have never felt that many emotions at once prior to finding out. I remember going to a park the day before I got there, because you have to wait, like, four months before taking the exam and then getting your results, which is just truly cruel and unusual punishment. Yeah.

It was terrible. And I was just like, what am I going to, like, what is going to happen? And I wrote an entry to myself in my journal where I was congratulating myself for passing to get in the vibrational frequency of, like, it happened, time hasn't caught up yet. And then so when I passed, I was just like, wow.

It was such a trip. It was amazing. It was really, I'm not a fan of the exam itself because I don't believe it is an adequate test of what makes a good lawyer. It's basically just memorizing a bunch of information and lawyers are never required to memorize. Like, if they should make the exam, like,

search it. Yeah, exactly. Like, how quickly can you find the answer to a legal question given these resources? But anyway, I was just definitely found a new sense of confidence knowing I could do, like, something that hard. So it was cool, for sure. Well, not only that.

So if you guys are hearing her voice, you might recognize it from TikTok. If you're watching on YouTube, you might recognize her beautiful face. But today we are joined by Dallara, a.k.a. legal baddie. It's legal baddie in the house. You have already done, like, so many amazing things.

And I think the most impressive thing for me, I mean, your list is long already. But even before you had a platform on TikTok, you spoke on Capitol Hill. I did. For DACA. Yeah. Because you yourself are a recipient.

Yeah, I came to the United States when I was five. And I received my DACA recipient, like my first DACA when I was 18, which was when it was implemented under the Obama administration. And I'm still a DACA recipient. It's my only right to residency in the U.S., which is crazy.

I could be a lawyer in the United States. God. And still not have a single pathway to citizenship, of course, other than marriage. But it should be based on marriage. No, it's just like you've been here since you were a kiddo. Yeah. And the fact you can be a lawyer

from one of the states' top schools and still be undocumented is just... It's wild. It's mind-blowing. And it's still in jeopardy. It's still in jeopardy even after 10 years. And it's something that has to be renewed every two years. And I actually anticipate this year we'll see...

We'll see how things pan out. But whatever happens, I'm definitely planning on rallying the troops and making sure that it's so overdue, comprehensive immigration reform. And I think DACA is the first place to start. So it's definitely... It was an honor to be able to advocate

on behalf of DACA recipients even. Oh, my God, it was incredible. Yeah, even then, thank you. Thank you. I mean, I was just like, I can barely do a live show and you're up on Capitol Hill and like nation global TV coverage

and just like your speech, you're just... Oh, my God. I wrote my speech the night before. Shut up. I swear. I swear on everything. Well, I did two years of competitive speech and debate in college.

Yeah, absolutely. So I like... If it wasn't for that, it wouldn't have been as... It wasn't easy, but it just... It came a little bit more naturally to me. But yeah, I memorized...

I remember it was like 11 o'clock. I was up late. And I was like, I have to get sleep, so I look good too in the video. And I memorized it. But also it's my story. So it's kind of easy to...

You don't have to memorize so much. But yeah, it was wild. And I didn't know Nancy Pelosi was gonna be there like next to me. I was just like gonna be... I didn't... I had no idea what to expect. Oh, my God.

It was wild. It was so crazy. Yeah. Absolutely amazing. I mean, if you follow one guest I have on this podcast, Alara would be the one to go follow. Oh, my goodness.

It's not just that, but it's... I could literally cry right now. I'm so too emotional today. This is shark week and it's just a fucking mess right now. But just you use your platform in such a big, powerful, meaningful way.

Speaking about the women in Iran right now and just... Wow. God, I'm really starting off on a good foot here. Aren't we? Fuck. But seriously.

Your words mean so much to me truly. Whew. Okay. It's beautiful how the internet allows us to every day make a bigger impact than we could the day before. And there's so many downsides, of course, with social media and the internet.

But I think the ability to reach people and spread these truths is so important and to know that it can affect even someone like you who I respect and admire so much is such an honor and it inspires me to keep going for sure. You're going to do amazing things. And I'm so excited to have your help with these stories today.

Yes. I've never felt equipped to be able to even touch on the legal advice subreddit. So the fact you are a lawyer and this is not legal advice. Not legal advice. This is just an opinion. Don't come for me. I'm getting all the liability out there,

but I'm really excited to hear your takes on these. Yes. Let's get into it. Okay. Let's dive in. Okay, starting off first, just hitting you just hard with a whammy. So it's titled,

Is it illegal to hit a child that is not yours that is biting you? Oh. Oh my goodness. So this happened a day ago and we are still freaking out about it. My wife and I was on a small trip out of state when we stopped at a rest area.

Everything was fine. I went to the restroom to hear my wife screaming. I ran out to see a three to four year old biting down on my wife's leg so hard, blood was seen. Oh my God. That's like a little mutant baby. Just enough to break skin and bleeding,

maybe a teaspoon. She was trying to pull him off, but was screaming as he was clamped down like a dog. So in my panic, I slapped him hard. He let go with a scream and looked at me very dazed and ran off to the woman's bathroom where we could hear a woman yelling,

who hit you. I will say we both freaked out and ran to the car and drove away as fast as we could. I took her to be treated and they said she will be okay. I know we probably should have not ran from the scene, but we have seen so many videos of people going crazy and just killing someone over a hurt child. Should we talk to the police to cover ourselves?

My wife said he mostly was just walking around outside of the bathrooms and just walked over and bit down on her leg for no reason when she was on the phone. Wow. First of all, what a scenario. Oh my God. It's so funny because like I am the type of person

where I could not fight anyone, even if it was a five-year-old. I'll take him on. I would literally run in the other direction. I'm terrified of pain and injury. And when it comes to self-defense, like age is not like a bar, like just because they are a child,

it doesn't necessarily mean that you can't have a valid self-defense claim. However, the standards that are required to prove self-defense boil down to reasonability. And so, of course, the fact will play into whether it was a reasonable amount of force given the circumstances. And I'm just thinking off the top of my head,

there's probably other ways to have stopped the child than slapping it, perhaps maybe just lifting it from its torso and like moving it away. It's just not necessary, but also I can understand like instinctually, you're just like, oh my God, like, you just want to, right. I can't believe this is a thing.

I can't believe it either. I don't even know what I would do in that scenario. But I think that there is some sort of argument that could be made given how good potentially their lawyer is to claim that there was an imminent threat of harm, which is one of the elements for self-defense, and that a reasonable person would fear for injury or death. Obviously not death here.

And I don't know if like a bite is that serious of injury. So it's a little bit tricky. This one's a little bit tricky. I mean, honesty, of course, is always the best policy. So I can't imagine, I can't imagine them getting into too much trouble. And I can't imagine anyone pressing charges because also there's your, yeah, I don't know.

Child neglect? Like what were you doing letting your four-year-old? Exactly, that's what I'm thinking. Also like a rest area. Do you know how many people are traveling? Get abducted, yes. That. I'm like, this is, I think, honestly,

I don't think the mom would go to the police for the fact that it's like... My thoughts exactly. Could come back and bite her in the ass. Bite her in the leg. Yeah. Uh-huh. By three-year-olds.

But it is crazy that he bit so hard that there was blood like that. Because I've like bitten my brothers, like not, I mean, not recently, but like I've bitten them pretty hard in the past and I don't remember there being blood. I also wonder like what the motivation was to bite the leg like...

And how long? Hunger. Hunger. It's giving vampire diaries. But, because I just can't imagine the first bite being the one to draw blood. It has to, how much teeth could a three- or four-year-old have? I feel like it would take...

I mean, it could be like puppy teeth. I haven't felt any five-year-olds teeth lately, but like puppy teeth are just terrible. So maybe little kid teeth are worse, because the only other instance I can think of is like, I had an OT teacher in grad school tell me, she's like, yeah, God, when your kids are like, when they start getting those teeth

and they're still breastfeeding and they bite your nipple, there is no pain, no pain like that bite. Man. Other than probably giving birth. Yeah. Yeah, that definitely competes. Yeah. Yeah, don't hit kids, you guys.

No. That's, I think the moral of the story. I probably would have done the same thing though. Really? Yeah. Top comment on this one is, you're fine. Do not go to the police. You should keep pics slash medical records

in the extremely unlikely event that this comes up in the future. The slap is very likely reasonable, especially as it was preceded by other failed efforts. Okay, I wasn't aware of the failed efforts, but that makes sense for sure. I just want to know how hard he hit him. He says hard, like all caps, hard.

And enough for the mom to realize after the fact that the kid got hit. So like maybe there was like a handprint or something. I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah, I'm just picturing those videos of people going up to the punching bags at bars. Right.

Like I'm just like, did he try to smoke the kid out like that? Or was it just like a slap? I can't imagine knuckles were involved. When I think slap, I think open hand. You know? Yeah. And it's just so aggressive.

I feel like to use knuckles on a child. Oh my God. Well, hopefully the kid learned a lesson. He doesn't bite other strangers at rest areas ever again. And hopefully the mom learned her lesson too to not leave your child unattended. Neglectful. I wonder if the kid bites her legs too.

Who knows? I have a lot of questions here. Yeah, same. I want to know whose child this is. All right, up next. This one happened in Wyoming. I don't know if that's going to help you at all. Contextualizes a little.

Yeah. Yeah, give you an idea. Roommate exposed us to toxic radon gas. Whoa. What can I do legally? I need more information, but I mean, my first question is, was it for a reason? Was it intentional?

Was it to cause harm? I got all the info. Oh girl, I'm ready. We got this. My 26th female live in a two bedroom apartment with my 19 male roommate. My roommate has a collection of clocks and old electronics. He keeps in a case in his bedroom. I received my radon detector from a friend three days ago.

He had a high radon level, five PCI per L in his house, but got it mitigated. And now it's down to one PCI slash L and wanted to give it to me as he didn't need it anymore. I turn it on and after the warm up period, see that it's reading 224 PCI slash L, not 2.24 in the main room. Whoa.

I move it to my bedroom, close to his, and it's maxing out at over 500 PCI slash L in my bedroom. My apartment lobby reads around 3.5 PCI slash L. I did some research and the radium clocks do emit radon, but not nearly enough to cause that big of a spike in radon levels. I question him when he gets back from work and he panics a bit and tells me that he has around 13.5 millicuries of radium. Bro.

He shows me the cabinet and there's a vial of radium paint, a lot of shavings in glass jars, lots and lots of clocks and gauges, what he calls, quote, Soviet radium scales, old US Army radium discs, and other items with radium. It's obvious how the apartment was contaminated and I worry the radon is leaching into the rest of the apartments. He's been here and had his collection for over a year. Levels this high are basically unheard of

and can cause cancer with ease. So I'm worried I might lose my life over this. Obviously this isn't my landlord's fault, it's the roommates. So what do I even do here? Does something like this break the lease and get my roommate and all of his radium kicked out? Can I sue him if I get lung cancer out of this? What's my next step?

Okay, number one is you don't want to live there anymore. Dawn. Like, of course you can get your lease broken and you won't have to pay any penalty or anything like that, but the goal is not to get him evicted. The goal is to get the fuck out of there. Get out of there. You can get the fuck out of there.

Get the fuck out of there. And you should have gotten the fuck out of there as soon as you saw the clocks that was red flag number one. I would never, like, and I don't want to blame her, but like, holy fuck, like, I'm... Where did you find the roommate? That's my first question. And I'm just out of necessity.

Exactly. I get you have to live with some strange people. Sure, I've been in that situation, yeah. Fuck, this is the worst roommate situation I've ever heard. It's giving serial killer. It's giving... It's bad. This is not good.

I definitely think there's a term for this. It's not coming to me, but I definitely had to study for it for the bar exam. But yes, no, I think that there's absolutely enough grounds to sue, especially given the amount of danger that this girl was exposed to and so negligently, I mean, recklessly, truly. And the fact that he, like, freaked out when she asked about it, the fact that it was never just closed in the first place.

Yeah. It's so bad. It's so bad, and I feel for her, and I wonder how long she was exposed without knowing it. I would definitely say that it would be a good investment of... Like, there's a lot of people ask the question, like, can I sue if X, Y, or Z? And the answer is always going to be yes.

You can sue for literally anything under the sun. The question is whether it will be worth it to pursue legal action given the circumstances. And here, given that, like, this is something that could affect her, you know, health for the rest of her life. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's a no-brainer.

This guy needs to be, he needs to pay up. I just, like, the fact that just from having a random roommate, she could get lung cancer. So sad. Like, that is absolutely terrifying. I would be... I'd be sued as asked for sure. And, like, you know, you could wait and see if you develop cancer,

but, like, it could happen 20 years from now. Right, right, right. And, like, statute of limitations. Yeah, that's exactly, exactly, yeah. Especially civilly, right? Yeah. I mean, it depends. Everything has, like, a different set of statute of limitations.

But here, I think, yeah, the sooner the better document as much as you can and go after this crazy guy. Oh, my God. I would be getting a hotel room immediately. I don't know why it's even a question about evicting this guy. Like, get out now. I know. Get out yesterday.

Oh, well, and so there's a bunch of amazing supportive comments. Yeah, I would love to hear. The top comment goes, he said, Mila Curies. Not Micro Curies, question mark. Are you sure? If it was Mila Curies, you need to stay far away from that cabinet if it's not lined with lead, including whatever is the opposite side of the wall. At that point, you're looking at a significant source of gamma radiation

on top of the Radon hazard. Does he have a Geiger counter? You need to report this stuff now. That's an absurd amount of radium to have lying around, which I get collecting shit. Where is he getting it? Probably fucking eBay. Probably the dark web.

Soviet shit? Yeah, I could see the dark web for the Soviet stuff. That seems like there would be a hard find. She must have found this person on Craigslist or something. Must, yeah, or like a Facebook roommate group. Just googling Soviet clock on eBay just to see if it's like a thing. Yeah, I mean, vintage USSR, Soviet striking board clock. They're not too expensive either, 145.

Oh, wow. I mean, they're kind of cute, but stop right now. It's like very mid-century modern for me. I kind of like them. In a certain context. Yeah, but I wouldn't collect something that is so adverse to my health. It's not worth it. No, and you can imagine all the what-ifs.

Maybe he's neurodivergent. Maybe he just doesn't understand the ramifications of this. Maybe there's something else going on here. But to subject yourself to that. That's your personal choice, but to subject a random roommate. That's so wrong. Also, he's living in close quarters with this is like when he's, we need someone, we need like a radon person for this.

But like if he's outside, just like walking around in the general public. Could he be spreading? Yeah. To babies? To little babies. Like people who, elderly people. Exactly. I mean, you know, compromise like, that's so wild.

It just made me a little bit paranoid. I think something else has to worry about. I know. You got to worry about asbestos. Great. Tetanus. Oh, that one's bad rabies. Rabies.

Oh my God. I just watched a video on rabies and how fast it kills you and how messed up it is. It's, every time I think of rabies, I think of foaming at the mouth. That's enough for me. Anthrax. Sinide. My goodness. There's some terrible shit out there.

What's the one that a lot of wives used to poison their husbands with? Arsenic. Oh. Arsenic. Yeah. I think that was in the Grinch song. Yeah. Okay.

So OP does respond to that comment and goes, from my research, he'd be over 13.5 micro curies after his first 14 clocks. Since it looks like each one of those is one micro curry. So I'd assume it's micro curies. Most of the items are in lead containers. He took them out to show me, which is how I know about the full collection. Wow. The clocks and gauges aren't though.

He does have a Geiger counter and told me the dose rate a foot from the cabinet is barely above background. Clearly the lead and plastic bags aren't blocking out the radon though. Wild. So, so bad. And poor OP, there's like one comment here where someone goes, well, you can call the Wyoming Department of Environmental Quality and or the federal EPA and ask what to do. Be prepared to move out immediately as it's not far fetched for your apartment to be declared a hazardous waste site.

Yeah. You are not going to be held to your lease if this happens. Do not suggest to your roommate that he throw this stuff out in the trash. You can't even throw out old smoke detectors. Really? I guess. So, the likelihood that he can safely throw this stuff out is zero. He certainly cannot do so legally.

And so, OP responds and goes, if the apartment is destroyed by the radiation, will I be in trouble or will he have to pay for all the damages? So, it's like poor OP is just like going through it. Going through it. And I'm also even feeling for the landlord who has to find out about this. Like, who is he going to even be able to rent this unit out to? No. Or the whole building I think is like kind of fucked.

Which that's so irresponsible. It's insane. And like a lot of people have, I would say like maybe it's 50-50, I'm not sure. But like renters insurance is a thing when you're renting. But no way in hell his renters insurance policy is going to cover an apartment building. No. Or whatever facility this is. Yeah.

No way. And I'm just like thinking for what? Like, is it that like important? I don't know. Very bizarre. He needs to find an abandoned warehouse he can rent or something. Yeah. Go to like Joshua Tree or something.

I don't know. Like go somewhere remote. Like Wyoming. I mean, there's a lot of farmland there. Yeah. But maybe, I don't know if it would poison water sources. I don't know. This shit needs to be destroyed.

It needs to be shut down. Immediately. Immediately. Okay. Moving on to the next one. Let's do it. Yeah. I just like now I have a new fear.

I'm like, who's living above me? Right. They are pretty crazy. Are they? They're just elephants. Really? All day, every day. Just fucking terrible.

They're having dance parties. All the time. Yeah. I like really want to buy them all pairs of crocs. Our crocs, they don't make as much noise. Yeah. Yeah. They're really squishy.

That's true. And so I was like, maybe I can get them crocs for Christmas or Hanukkah, Ramadan, whatever they celebrate. They would be so confused. They'd be like, what the fuck? They already don't like me. So we're just, I'm leaving soon anyway. There you go.

Perfect. It's fine. Oh my gosh. So exciting. I know. But I just got to house you guys. Officially on November 2nd. That is so huge.

It's what Justin, my boyfriend would call a teardown. Oh wow. But I think it has some charm. Okay. You'll see pictures soon. We're going to do like a home vlog. Oh, I can't wait. We got to go to bathroom because it's pink from the 1940s.

Oh, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, the pink tile. There's something so special about that. I definitely, yeah, there are some things I'm sure that can be renovated and made new, but certain things, they just have such an energy to them. I like the pink. You don't like? I'll show you a picture.

I'll show you a picture. Let me see. Let me see. So this is when it was sold last in like 2010. It actually looks like really different. Okay. From the front. But that's the pink.

That's the pink. I was thinking in different pink. Yeah, no, it's like baby pink and baby blue trim. I was thinking like some cool tiling, like something like very like old LA. No. All right. I approve. It's got to go.

Yeah. It's got to go. But I'll keep you all posted. Yes. Send good vibes that there's. All the vibes. Yeah. I already know there's termite damage, so it's going to be a good time.

Yeah. At least. At least. You don't have radiation. It's all we can afford in California. No. That goes can't be choosers out here in LA. It's going to be so amazing.

It's going to be good. I'm so excited. And yeah, there's no radon. There you go. I think we're good there. Oh my God. I have to sneeze. Do it.

It's just so painful when it's like there and not there. I know. It's very unsat. It's like, it's like blue balls for the nose. Oh my God. That's the best way to put it. I've never heard someone describe that as that sensation. And that's literally what I just experienced.

True. It's being like cock-blocked by the atmosphere. It's still in there too. Like, let me have my satisfaction. I know. I can't get no. Okay. Damn, it's still stuck.

Oh my God. This is never happening back to life. That's a long one. That's insanity. Okay. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota. Sure is.

From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter. Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad.

Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Another quick one for you. Okay. Priest broke confession seal and told husband I cheated. I cheated on my husband three years ago while traveling for work.

It was a one night stand and we didn't exchange numbers or keep in contact. I don't even know his last name. Until last month, I've never told anyone about this event. At the time I cheated, I didn't really care because my marriage was rocky and I felt unappreciated. But my husband and I reconnected during quarantine and I started to feel extremely guilty.

Yeah. Last month, I thought I would try going to confession with my parish priest. He said I needed to tell my husband as a part of my penance. I wasn't really sure how to do that. So I've sat on it. Last weekend, I came home to my husband throwing all of my stuff out of the bedroom and trying to kick me out of the house.

He knows everything. Apparently the priest followed up to see if I'd told my husband. And when my husband said he didn't understand what the priest was talking about, he told my husband about the affair. My whole world is exploding because I thought confession was supposed to be private. Does the priest have any kind of liability or responsibility? I'm in Maryland. Damn.

Okay, number one kids, don't cheat. Make it easy on everyone here. This was something that was never discussed during law school, but my first thought is there's no obligation for the priest to keep it a secret unless there was some sort of contract. This is not like HIPAA. Exactly. There's no NDA here.

There's no NDA. But that's kind of crazy that the priest would do that. Bro, no one's going to tell him should again. Yeah, exactly. You would think, in order to preserve the religious sacredness of that practice, you would think you wouldn't violate that, but this priest has no chill. Yeah. Unfortunately, I don't think she can't do anything.

There's nothing she could pursue legally that I'm aware of. But that is unfortunate really for everyone involved. Yeah. What a way to find out that you're going to cheat it. I definitely think this would probably be like the typical ways going through texts. That's typically how you find out. To have your priest, person you maybe look up to. It also makes me wonder what happens if someone goes into confessional

and says, I killed someone. Oh, he's telling for sure. Yeah. But honestly, some people look at cheating as worse than murder. Really? Religion? I have a would you rather. Oh.

Would you rather find out that your partner cheated on you physically with no emotional connection, did not care about the person. It was purely physical. Or they never touched physically, but they're texting. I love you. You're the light of my life, a very intimate emotional relationship. I'll take physical any day of the week. Any day of the week.

Any day of the week. Sex can just be sex. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Intermingle feelings. It's funny. There's a big gender divide. Like when I've asked this question to a bunch of people and guys,

they would prefer emotional cheating over physical cheating. I'm like, y'all are so silly. I think there's a lot you could unpack for sure with that. And I've seen some people who, you know, try to rationalize that argument. Yeah. And I've seen some people say it's because of the way that a lot of men view women as more so like property. Yeah.

No, that's fair. In a sense. Like my vagina. And it's like, it's kind of the same argument that people will be like, well, you know, if a, if a key can open many locks, it's a master key. Yeah. But if a lock opens to many keys, like. Right.

It's the, it's like the oldest, silliest comparison of my life. It's so bad. And I love there's this girl that I just saw a tech talk of and it was a guy like asking her like, what's your body count? And she was like, fuck that. Yeah. If any guy asks you what your body count is, he's not ready for a woman. And just like goes the fuck off.

1000%. And I love that. And she at the end, I think even goes like, if you consider a woman a lock or she, I think she said key, but like meant to say lock. Yeah. She was like, you are not mature enough for a woman. I 1000% agree. And I also, yeah, she kept saying like, get fucked.

That's what she kept saying. But I just, it's funny to me just because like sex is one of the most natural experiences a human being could have, like it's why we're here. Yeah. And I think of like other natural experiences that we have, like, I don't know, like going to the bathroom or like drinking water. And it's like, who's going to count like how many times that you do something that is like natural.

That's just bizarre to me. And then to place like value on it is so silly. Like, yeah, if a guy were to ask me what's your body count immediately. It's a no. No. You're not going to be added to it. So yeah, that's, that's what's important here. Right.

Don't, don't worry about it because you're not going to be another number. Yeah. And there's some like that we're just not good or too small and I don't count them. So I don't know my true number. That's what I'm saying. I also kind of like forget as weird as that sounds. No, it doesn't sound weird. Like I tried, I mean, my girlfriends tried to make like lists one night just to like,

just to see out of curiosity. Cause I have, I had one friend that literally had like a Google sheets of like name, date, dick size, like all this info. I guess it's like good, you know, opportunities to reminisce or whatever. I always promote journaling in every aspect. So go off. A lot of benefits for journaling. Yeah.

Over a hundred actually. Wow. But yeah, I mean, good for keeping track of you get pregnant. Right. You know, whatever, teach their own, but I, there was one, I was like, did I hook up with him or did I just make out? Like you kind of forget. And that sounds weird.

Like obviously that's not the case for everyone, but. Yeah. No 1000%. They're not quite silly. Um, so a lot of comments on this. Okay. Uh, one of them is like quoting OP saying, does the priest have any kind of liability or responsibility?

And they go within the church almost certainly this kind of violation can lead to X communication. Okay. Especially if it isn't the first time they've done so. Yeah. Outside of the church, probably not. The laws surrounding clergy privilege have more to do with compelling them to break confessional seals within the context of investigations and the like. Right.

Right. Right. That makes sense. I remember now, um, clergy, uh, privilege when we were learning about, um, just like the different types of privileges. And yeah, that, that seems to be the case. And that was like my initial inkling. Like I can't imagine that being like acceptable within the church, but legally it doesn't have

a leg to stand on. I know it's almost like cause medical providers have the same privilege, especially therapists. And so it's like even some therapists and like murder cases aren't necessarily compelled to share everything. Right. So it is interesting to consider that they might have a similar privilege. Right. What was this dude doing?

Like, why are you loyal to that man? Right. There's probably more to the story. I don't know. It sounds like, I get cheating is bad, but this, this sounds a little misogynistic that he told her. That's, that's I think a fair assumption because is he telling all the wives where their husbands come in?

Probably not. No. But who are we to? Yeah. I'm just guessing. Yeah. So the commenter goes, the priest probably cannot be sued for this. More importantly, it wouldn't be clear what you've sued for.

Your losses here are more firmly based in your own actions than his disclosure of those actions. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Don't cheat. Don't tell a religious leader if you do. Yeah.

I'm just, I'm honestly is the best policy, truly. Also it's just like so exhausting and uncomfy to lie personally, but there's some people who get off on it. Like some people like the thrill, I suppose. I can't. I literally like, I, I just get nervous and like Justin, when we went on our trip, like I really wanted to stay at this one hotel in Iceland and it was a lot. It's like the most I've ever spent on like a one night stay anywhere.

But I was like, I haven't done any, like this is my first vacation since the podcast. Haven't really treated myself to anything. So I'm like, it's, it's one night. I'm going to do it. I want the experience. And he asked me like how much it was. And I was like, oh, we love a white lie. I was like, that's like 500.

And I cannot lie. Like when I lie, I just like, I, I can't, I can't. And so I was just like 500 and I just had this shit grin on my face. He goes, no, seriously. And I'm like, is that, yeah, so I can't, I would never be able to. Oh my goodness. Yeah. It was not 500.

I wish it was 500, but you got to see the Northern Lights. So it was worth every penny. Oh my God. It literally, it was the bougie ass hotel at the blue lagoon. It was bucket list. It's something else. I've had on my bucket list since I was like 16. So, you know, 1000% it was, it was totally worth it.

It was worth every penny. You walk in, welcome champagne. They check you in. You don't have a check in counter. They check you in, in like this beautiful, modern, Swedish looking design lobby with your champagne. What a dream. They unload your car.

By the time you get to your room, your luggage is there. Okay. This sounds more worth it. Oh. As you explained. Oh, wear a bathrobe the entire time. Absolutely. Even at dinner.

You don't have to wear clothes. I love that. Yeah. I'm going back. Yeah. You should. I'm going with you. I'm saving.

One day. We'll do a girls trip. It'll be good. Okay. You get that thing. We're going crazy. Yes. Let's go.

World tour 2023. Down. You just say where I'm like, I got the travel bug again. Okay. I got the bug. Yeah. You've been traveling a lot just recently. I was just like, oh my God, let me go.

Yes. I'm ready to go back to London for the holidays. Yes. I love that. Christmas markets. You're going to, you're going to have some good times. Just you wait. I know.

I can't wait. Just you wait. It'll be great. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. Now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more.

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Dealer inventory may vary. Up next, an office lunch thief ate my spicy leftovers. Uh-oh. And is accusing me of poisoning them. A coworker stole my spicy food, got sick and is blaming me. We have a fridge at work. Up to this point, nothing I had in it was stolen. I'm quite new and others have told me that this was a problem.

My food is always really, really spicy. I just love it that way. Anyways, I was sitting at my desk when my coworker came running out, having a hard time breathing. He then ran into the bathroom and started being sick. Turns out he ate my clearly labeled lunch. It also was in a cooler lunchbox to keep it cold from work to home as it's a long drive. There was nothing different about my lunch that day.

In fact, it was just the leftovers from my dinner the night before. Fast forward a day and my boss comes in asking if I tried to poison this person. Of course, I denied that I had done so. I even took out my current day's lunch and let my boss taste a bit. He was blown away by how spicy it was. This is so funny. Even though he only took a small bite. I then proceeded to eat several spoonfuls to prove I could eat it with no problem.

He said not to worry and that it was clear to him that I didn't mean any harm. My coworker shouldn't have been eating my food, et cetera, et cetera. I thought the issue was over. A week later, I got called up to HR for an investigation. Claiming that I did, in fact, try to do harm to this person and this investigation is still ongoing. What? Dramatic. What confuses me is there was nothing said about this guy trying to steal my lunch.

When I brought it up, they said something along the lines of, quote, we cannot prove he stole anything. I am confused by this. I thought the proof would be clear. My boss is on my side, but HR seems to be trying to string me up. Their behavior is quite aggressive. Even if my boss backs me up, they just ignore everything he says. As in, he would say, quote, that's clearly not the case.

And the HR lady wouldn't even look in his direction and continued talking. So weird. I feel like the lunch stealer is like fucking the HR person. They have some sort of loyalty going on. On top of this, HR claims that it would be well within said co-worker's rights to try and sue me. The way it was said seemed to suggest that they suggested this to him as a course of action. How can someone be caught stealing my lunch and then turn around and say I was in the wrong? I don't understand it at all.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I will lose my job over this. Is there any advice you can give me? Yeah. Well, I think, of course, this would come down to whether she had the intent to cause harm to the person that was stealing lunches. And it's very clear that she wasn't. This is something that she always does. She always has spicy food.

Clearly she proved that. There's no way that he could successfully be able to sue her for poisoning him because there's no context that supports the idea that she had knowledge that he was consistently stealing the lunches. Maybe she had a little bit, but what's the most important part is the fact that there was no change in the spiciness of her food. No, it's just what they eat. Exactly. It's literally just their normal food. Yeah.

And I think if she were to get fired, it would be a very clear case for retaliation. And she would be able to get back paid, probably reinstatement. But who steals people's lunches is my question. Like, what if you're allergic to something? Also, that's just like so, I don't know. Like, it's just, where are your manners? Like, I don't know. Maybe I was just raised.

I feel like you have to be a type of person that, like, yeah, sometimes I'll steal a little bit of my sister's lunch, but like a coworker. I wouldn't even be able to eat in peace knowing that I might get caught or that, like... I'm more concerned about food poisoning. Right, exactly. Or, like, eating something that, like, something can look like a cheeseburger and be made of, like, dog meat. Right. You don't know. You have no idea.

You don't know. It's a risky game to play. I think it also goes back to, like, kind of what we're talking about before where I just think there's some people who, like, get off on the thrill of doing what they're not supposed to do, I guess. Yeah. But I would say that this innocent victim of lunch theft has nothing to worry about in regards to at least being sued by this guy for, you know, having any sort of injury from the spicy lunch. As far as getting fired, yeah, if HR tries to do that, good luck to them. The whole team's probably going down. We got an update.

Okay. Oh, my God. I'm excited. Okay. So the update goes, I ended up being fired by HR. Oh, wow. She's ballsy, lady. What the hell?

As she said, there was enough of a case to get rid of me before the top boss came back. I consulted a lawyer who sent a letter to the company informing them that I was considering legal action. The letter contained the reasons for doing so and an account of what happened. One week later, I got a call from the guy who owns the company asking me to come back with an apology. Both the HR woman and the thief have been let go. He also gave me a very generous raise, I assume, to gloss over everything. I accepted and am now back at work. Get your bag, sis.

I love that. We love a happy ending. As much as I hate to go off on office talk, it seemed that the HR woman and the food thief may have been romantically involved. Yo, I just, I have, well, I have a sixth sense. Psychic over there. They were seeing a lot outside of work together, et cetera. So I assume it was her protecting him. Yeah.

She may have even believed him and thought I was trying to frame him or something. Who knows? I doubt I will get an answer now. Right now, I'm working in the previous position with almost double my paycheck, so it's a great turnaround. The boss also opened more doors for me offering different training courses that I'll be paid for. It's obviously to keep me happy and stop me from taking any legal action, but what more could I ask for? Something unreasonable happened and it's been more than corrected. I'd have been happy with just having my job back.

Yeah. I'd rather have not gone through the whole thing at all though. I just hope I never have to experience this kind of thing again. I don't really have a support group, so was on the edge of losing my apartment, et cetera. Oh, wow. Anyways, thanks for the advice. I had nowhere to turn. Wow.

I know. I was about to say like, wow, everything happens for a reason. Like how great that you get to go back to your job and get paid twice as much. I was surprised to hear her say if she could go back, she wouldn't like, she would have rather this never happened. Yeah. For me, I would be kind of stoked. I'd be pumped. Like, I'm not hurt in the process, but I can imagine the anxiety or whatever, not knowing where your income is going to come from.

For sure. I'm just feeling guilty that the company is now paying you double. Oh, never that. You're just, a lot of these companies, you're just a number. 1,000%. And you deserve this. Like a lawsuit would have been like a wrongful termination lawsuit. Oh, yeah.

That could have been big. Oh, 1,000%. Yeah. I actually, I made a tick talk about how it is your federally protected right to discuss your salary with your coworkers. And so many people, you know, commented saying, well, you know, HR said it's not allowed or it's in the manual. It's not allowed. And all of that is illegal. It doesn't matter.

Like they can say whatever they want. And the reason why they do that is because they bank on people not knowing their rights because it's so much smaller of a cost to them to have to get like the complaints filed with the National Labor Relations Board because they just, you know, do a slap on the wrist and will, you know, demand back pay and reinstatement pretty much versus paying everyone fairly. Like it's a business decision. Yeah. And it makes sense, but it's so sad. Like why not just live in a fair and just world, but capitalism.

Fuck. I know. It's crazy. I've seen a lot about that. And it's, you know, when you break it down too, and it's like, okay, well, white, if you give white man, white men, like they're making a dollar. Yeah. And then if you go down like the ladder of like privilege, I guess, and you go to white woman, they're making 80 cents on the dollar. And then you go down even further.

Black male, black woman, Asian male, Asian woman. And it's just like, it's so bad. It's like, it should be, here's the pay. That's what it is. And that's why I love like, there's actually some states that are making it a law now that employers have to disclose the salary on the ad. Like, Colorado, Colorado, I believe was the first to really do it. And so that's amazing. But I think so too.

Yeah. You see that. Like I've got friends that we're working at like a really popular payroll company. And like the guys would come in starting off making what they were making after being there for two years. Yeah. And that's why it's so important to discuss your salary with your coworkers, even though it's been like this taboo thing for so long because the businesses have like created that narrative. It's really not. And it's actually like one of the only ways that we can fight against wage inequality.

And so many people were commenting saying like, I got a $16,000 raise, $18,000 raise. Oh my God. Tons of people. I love that. It was really, it was really cool to see like the tangible outcome of spreading that kind of information. That's really cool. Which is part of the reason why I love TikTok. Just like democratizing information that's like gate cap from a lot of, you know, underrepresented communities.

And I just love that. Oh my God. There you go. Using your platform for good again. You're like a little superhero. I love this. I got an Incredibles costume for Halloween and it didn't fit. I actually want to be Shigo from Kim Possible.

I feel like that would be so hot. I could see that. Right? Even though she is a villain. But I feel like she has a good heart. Yeah. They've come to terms with her. Yeah.

And she is a bad bitch. So that's what matters to me. She is something else. I, oh my God, I miss Kim Possible. Ron and the little, all of the shows from that time. Even Steven's Fill of the Future. So good. That's so Raven.

Oh. Lizzie McGuire. Hannah Montana was like kind of on my way out. I love that. Dude, Miley Cyrus' voice has really developed over the years. She is a force. I'm such a stan. I know.

Ugh. All of her covers. She's been doing a lot of covers like old rock songs. Just insane. Fade into you. She did for her NPR Tiny Desk concert. Oh my God. I've watched it so many times.

It's like moving. It's so good. You have to watch it. I need to watch that. I saw T-Pain's Tiny Desk concert. So good. And a lot of people were like, wait, T-Pain can sing. Yeah.

He's so talented. He's so talented. It's like he created autotune. And then Usher just gave him massive depression over it. It was just so sad. Yeah. Usher had a good Tiny Desk concert too. But T-Pain was definitely like the moment.

I need to watch all these. Yes. The top comment on this one is the amount of food dealers at workplaces is ridiculous to read honestly. Honestly, unfathomable for an adult professional who makes a living wage to do. And yet that's who does it in all of these stories. Grounds for an immediate firing, in my opinion, speaks to a serious character deficit. Yeah.

And so I was trying to find this story because I remember reading it a long time ago. And there was another one I found where it was the same story. Someone was like, am I the asshole for not labeling my spicy food? No. You're the asshole for stealing. Literally. Same thing. And so they got in trouble with HR and they were like, your coworker got mixed up and

accidentally grabbed your Tupperware. And now you're in trouble for not labeling it, blah, blah, blah. And she was like, or whoever, OP was like, well, can you show me their Tupperware? Right, right. And I was like, I just want to see how they got confused because my Tupperware is very distinct and it was like labeled with my name or whatever it was. And so HR comes back and goes, well, actually the person didn't have a lunch that day. They just got confused.

Sounds like this HR person is also fucking the stealer. Yep. And so then OP flipped it on the HR person was like, okay, well, I now want to report that person for stealing my lunch. Yeah. And then he was like, I guess just like super baffled. So interesting. So what's with the defending of thieves?

Not okay. Sex. This is why you don't, this is why you don't fraternize as coworkers. I guess thieves really like put it down to your bedroom or something. Something's going on here. Something is going on. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters.

I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you.

For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. Up next. My fiance may die. His sister wants half of our house if he passes. My fiance was in a car accident about a week ago. He has a 50-50 chance of surviving, though things have started to look up. His sister is also his birth mother. She got pregnant at 13 and his grandparents adopted him.

So legally, she is his sister. Whoa. She has never had any involvement in his life. His adoptive parents died three years ago. My fiance and I have two children together and own a house. We have been together since we were 13 and are getting married this October. Our house is nearly paid off and I can't afford to pay half of the house equity to her by myself. I have no idea what to do or if she even has a stake in the house.

He is 23 and does not have a will. He also has a life insurance policy that she wants half of. I can't get a lawyer to talk to me without coming in for a $600 plus consult. Yeah. I'm hoping someone can give me some kind of direction so I can stop worrying about my children and I becoming homeless and focus on my fiance. This is in Ohio. Thank you. Damn, that's so tough. And that was like a crazy wills and estates question I would get like on an exam.

I feel like I had to like put this. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's even weirder to test like your knowledge of. Oh my God. Yeah. It's so wild and you have to like write a whole essay about it. Thank God I've never had to take a bar.

Oh my gosh. Two days, eight hours each day. I mean, it's so crazy. It's so unnecessary. Anyway, the answer to this is just like it depends. I can't remember if Ohio is a community property state or not, but that is like the first question is whether it's a community property state. And what that means is basically if you're in a community property state, it means that everything that you purchase while you're married is considered like dual, like you have dual ownership. But anything that you acquired out of your marriage is separate property.

The other question is did they say they were married? Because that. Engaged. Engaged. So this post is old. We do have updates. Okay. Which I love.

It was actually from six years ago. Oh, wow. But it was, I don't know what month it came from because it doesn't tell me. But I would assume like if it was six years ago, like the wedding was supposed to be in October. We're in October. So. Yeah. But engaged.

There's also like the concept of like the omitted spouse. Like even if they were married and the, um, the decedent, the person who let's say, if they passed away, uh, didn't include them in their will. The, if I believe if you're in a community property state, um, automatically the law will treat you as if you were in the will because you were in the spouse. I hope I'm saying that correctly. But yeah, I think it just depends on a lot of things. I don't specialize in wills and trust. I have a lot of friends who do and they're great. So I don't think I can give like a substantive answer, but I'm very curious to hear what happened.

Well, my question too, when I, when I read this one, um, like the fact that they have children together too. So it's like his sister. That's a whole trip. Like sister mom, I don't know what the appropriate like term is cause yeah, like I don't know like because of the fact he was legally adopted. Right. That's his sister now. Like it, I don't think it automatically reverts back to mom because of the fact that his adoptive parents died. That's true.

It's such a mind fuck. So like when you think about property, my like in just like a non-lawyer normal brain. Yeah. Like normal person brain. Genius brain. Yeah. Like no, but it would, you would assume like, okay, someone dies, they're unmarried, it would go to their, their children. Yeah.

And even though their children aren't, you know, old enough necessarily to make decisions regarding that inheritance. Like their mother is still alive. So their mother would be given kind of like a guardianship kind of or like conservator. Yeah. For the state or something. Like if the, if the mom is still alive, then the way that I remember it is it goes so that it doesn't go to the children and it's up to the mom to like distribute it to the children. Okay. I believe.

And but if, if the mom were to also have died, then it's split equally among the kids. Also it depends on the type of state. Like I remember there's like three different types of states and there's different laws that apply for each one. But and then there's also the case of like, if there was a will and someone specifically wrote who they don't want it to go to specifically who they do want. So it's very tricky. It's like a really, really tricky part of the law, wills and trusts and estates. It's, it's like, when you have to solve those types of problems, it literally looks like math. Like you have to draw these like family charts.

It's, and then like, it's, and I actually have to do math, which is like, why I went to law school is that I, so I didn't have to do math. I'm so bad at it. Yeah. Why in a world of calculators? I don't get it. I mean the higher level stuff. I like theoretical, theoretical math and stuff I can see, but like anything I can do on a calculator, I just feel like it's going to be obsolete. Or AI even, you just plug in like a form and then it does everything for you.

The world is changing. I know. There's so much technology. I barely know how to use it. I feel like I'm turning into like my mom or my grandma where I'm like, I had to have like someone show me how to install a font on my computer recently. It was just like, oh my God, what is happening here? Just craziness. But yeah, I agree.

Like math, math is dumb. Everyone on the show, we have like a running joke that we're, we're math leads here because we're like so bad at it. Wow. I love that. It's just ridiculous. But yeah, this is, this is crazy. So OP does put an edit. I'm going to ask the mods to lock this post.

All of my legal questions have been answered. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to respond. I'm going to contact a lawyer in the morning to discuss this in greater detail. Top comment goes, if you are the beneficiary on the life insurance policy, you owe her nothing. Which I think like one, I love wills. I love prenups. I also, you know, think like if you're engaged to someone but you're not married yet or your wedding is two years away. I really, really recommend filling out like a medical decision-making form as well.

Because holy shit, the horror stories I've seen from stuff like this exact situation. Engaged, not married, life-threatening accident and family comes in and makes decisions that that person wouldn't have even wanted. And that's the whole point of the will is to bring out the person's intent. Exactly. And I've seen some so bad where the woman's fiance's mom barred her from coming to the hospital because she didn't like her. And she was like, this is ridiculous. We're engaged. Our wedding is a month away.

And my future mother-in-law is keeping me out of the hospital. My partner would not want this. Right. It's devastating. Would not want this. So it's just, this stuff just really paces me off. It's definitely like one of the craziest parts of the law for that reason is because greed gets involved and people just do the craziest things. It's so sad to see the worst parts of people brought out, especially during a time that should be devoted to grief to have to sort out these monetary details.

It's like so morbid. Yeah. And just like tacky. Yes. It's always crazy that like people's first thing is like, where's everything going? Right. What happens to the money? Like, who do you leave what to?

It's like, can you not just like sit in the fact that that person is gone? Right. Right. It's so wild. Maybe it sets in later for people that act like that, but fuck. So post is still up, which is great. There's a lot of questions people are like, is the house in both of your names or just his? Yeah.

OP responds both of our names. There's so, so many comments from OP. So if you guys really want to go through this, I will make sure to put the link on the YouTube. And if I don't, don't yell at me. Don't yell at her. A kind reminder. So someone gives an amazing detailed response, basically being like, you're not married. Is he on the birth certificate of the children?

Generally children have precedence over parents for inheritance. So Ohio state rules are, and I mean, there's like bullet points, bullet points, bullet points. And then OP just responds, our children are two and one. Does this basically mean my children and I can continue to live in our home? Or is there some kind of legal process that has to take place for half the equity? I really appreciate your help. So there's just a lot of comments. I'm just trying to scan and make sure there's nothing.

You're doing a great job. Yeah. People asking about the situation with the mom, basically being like the birth father was 14 at the time when the mom was 13. They continued dating and had another baby less than a year later. Wow. Wow, wow, wow on that. Wow, wow, wow.

It's right. Just wow. It's messy. Oh fuck. This one's bad. So someone asks, are you the one that is making medical decisions for him right now? Or is that her? That's also something to consider if she's trying to get his money.

I would make the people caring for him, nurses, doctors, aware that this is her focus right now and maybe ask for social work to get involved. They can advise you on what to do next. They can also kick her out of the hospital. OP goes, I'm the one making medical decisions for him. My best friend was his nurse in the ER. She's been my best friend for 15 years and knows everything about him. So I was just kind of the assumed person making decisions.

No one on his new floor has seemed to question it. Though that does make me concerned that she has preference over me. I'm afraid to bring it up to his current doctors slash nurses. I'm going to talk to my friend and see what she thinks I do. Wow. But then the comment after that, I just saw something about a DNR. Oh wow. Which is like, the comments were deleted.

Oh no. I know. Something, I don't have the preceding comments because they were deleted. Yeah. The moderator removed it, but the comment from her was essentially being like, can I override a DNR that she placed? Which is really, really scary to like think you, you don't have control. Right.

At all. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Okay. This is a really tough situation. Terrible. And it's, and she mentioned that she didn't want to like spend money hiring a lawyer. Yeah.

There's, there's, you know, low income programs that are available. I would definitely like, I mean, I know this is past, but maybe if this resonates with anyone in the audience, there's, there's always options. And I just really don't believe that the cost of a lawyer should ever come in the way of someone having adequate representation, especially like in a world where you, like they specifically make this stuff complicated on purpose. Yeah. Oh my God.

It's not meant for like a lay person to try to figure out. And, and so yeah, everyone should, should have that proper representation and money should not be an impediment. No. For the update. Okay. The post got a decent amount of attention. I thought I would get an update to everyone as I still get really sweet messages from

people wishing me well, praying for me and my family. My fiance, now husband did pull through. Yay. He's currently in our backyard setting up a tent to camp out with our two and three year old boys. He was in a coma for over a month and the doctors were pretty sure he would never wake up. Wow. His recovery was slow and he still goes to physical therapy four times a week, but he is pretty

much back to normal now and we couldn't be happier. Although it was a horrible thing to go through. It changed both of us for the better. You don't realize how much the small things matter until they're about to be taken from you. Yeah. He was appalled. Yeah.

By his sister's actions. Sister mom. When I finally discussed it with him, we recently both made wills and made sure there is no chance sister-in-law or brother-in-law will get any money if both of us were to pass. Right. Or God forbid our children too. We also chose God parents for our children and we are expecting a baby girl in 2018. Oh my goodness.

I really appreciate all your sweet, thoughtful messages I was sent. They definitely made me feel better on bad days so no people were praying for him. And so people just were like, oh my God, give us all the info and hopefully this comment I'm about to click on is still there. It is. Yeah. So lots of questions. One goes, what did the lawyer you called the next day of your post tell you?

How did your husband's sister react when he woke up? Was she a problem for him through his recovery? And Opie goes, I actually used a lawyer that PMed me on Reddit. Wow. I love that. I know. I love the internet. Power of Reddit baby.

Yes. He offered his services free of charge and ironically he only lived one town over. He was wonderful. He pretty much told me what everyone on the original thread told me. He went over our deed, life insurance, et cetera. He discovered there were some holes that sister mom's lawyer could exploit but wanted to wait to see what would happen with my husband before we really began to worry. Sister mom.

Sister mom gets me. She left a few days after I made the original post and did not return to visit even after he had woken up. She did sign a DNR. There was nothing I could do but thank God my husband didn't need it. She did try to have us cover her legal costs. She's still threatening us with small claims court, but that is still ongoing. We really don't hear much from her.

I forgot to add, we really don't hear much from her because she's currently in jail on possessive, on possession charges. She was arrested in May and we'll get out in December. I wonder what she was possessing. I'm going to say drugs for her. I know. I'm just curious which kind. Meth.

Erratic behavior. Yeah. Very erratic behavior and very like desperado just to see to behavior, which kind of aligns with. Oh, just crazy. I don't know. I don't want to generalize. But yeah.

No, that's so unfortunate. I'm so happy he pulled through. I know. And people ask all about that too. They're like basically being like, how did he wake up? Like I just read these posts and I'm smiling for you right now. Congrats on coming out of your valley. If you can, are you willing to talk about what you experienced when your now husband

woke up? Straight up tears. Happiness must be amazing. Right. And so, Opie goes, sure. It wasn't like the movies where someone in a coma just suddenly opens their eyes and asks what happened, which is what I was expecting for some reason. It was very slow.

I was sitting next to him eating and started choking. After a coughing fit, I grabbed his hand again and he squeezed it softly twice in a row. Oh, shit. I knew that was his way of asking if I was okay and I started bawling because it had been so long. I started to fear he would never wake up. Oh my gosh.

Then over the next several days, he very slowly started making improvements and came out of it. Wow. Insane. That is so special. So crazy. There is another thing where someone was like asking like if the sister mom actually had a lawyer.

Right. And like what did she say? Yeah. And Opie goes, she actually did have a lawyer. We received several threatening letters, one even trying to tell me I had 30 days to move out after my husband's death. My lawyer laughed. Yeah.

There are really bad lawyers out there who will shoot their shot and it's like, I've actually, I've experienced it firsthand. It's, you know, you never, you never know. People are willing to make frivolous claims. You're not supposed to, but it happens. That is nuts. Like that guy should be evaluated by the bar in that state. I agree.

I've seen some suits. The bar comes after people. Yeah. No, it does. It does. Get them. Oh my gosh. Like just messed up.

But I'm, I'm so happy. I'm so, so thankful that his medical progression like went the way it did because. Imagine. The fact that the mom sister, it's more sister in my head. Right. Right. Terrible, terrible, terrible, fucking human. But the fact that like, he could have very easily had a cardiac arrest and depending

on what, you know, DNR she signed, you know, there's varying levels of that where you can even say you don't want basic CPR. Like if they're going, they're going, not even no attempt at CPR. It's such a wild concept. Like having your agency belong to someone else. It's so weird. I would have gone crazy. Yeah.

If this were me and like, I look at my partner now, Justin, like, we've been together four years. We're getting a house together. We're like planning for a future together. And if something happened and like his mom, or like if he's an only child, so I can't use siblings. But if his mom came in and was like, no, Justin is being pulled off life support, which she would never do.

So we're good there. But it's like, just to not be like, no, that's my partner. We are planning this life together. How can you, someone who doesn't really, like in this case, Justin has a good relationship with his mom, but like in this case, someone who doesn't have a relationship with him. What? Yeah, you would think there would be systems in place to account for that. Well, and this where I think like, again, medical decision making forms, like you're,

you know, you're, what you determine for your health, like you need to fill out before something happens. Yeah. Because oftentimes these conversations are had already in the hospital when something does happen. 200%. And like people at local hospitals are like very happy, especially if it's your local hospital and you know, you're probably going to seek care there.

They're happy to fill those forms out with you at a time. Yeah. No, 1,000%. And it's not hard either. It's more so like, I think the difficulty is the, you know, it's not hard either. The, the effort it requires to make the decision as opposed to just like doing it. And that's something that plagues me for like a lot of things in my life where it's like, it's easy to do, but I just like don't want to deal with the energy required to make the

decision. Yeah. I've really thought about it too. Really? Well, especially now I'm like, he was in a coma for a month and like, I always thought like, oh, if I don't come back after a month, like, well, but now I'm kind of like, well, you guys better, this is my thing right here. Yeah.

People, please leave me plugged in for at least a year. Okay. I think a year is fair. Like brains can heal and shit can happen with neuroplasticity. So I would love to see like just like a chart, like made by like the scientific community about when people wake up exactly. And what your percentage is of like retaining your brain health and just health overall. Duration is two to four weeks.

Interesting. Well, it's not. Yeah. Seriously. But a year, like I know I'm going to atrophy. I'm going to look like a piece of poop. Make sure that if I have, yeah, like make sure if I have a stroke, get OT in there right away.

Do not wait. I do not want any spasticity. I want range of motion from the start. Yes. And if OT, you know, I don't qualify because it's not functional OT, you can still come in and give me my initial evaluation and teach my family how to do range of motion. Thank you. Period.

I am a OT as well. I don't know. I haven't told you that. What do you mean? So before the podcast, I actually went to grad school and have a doctorate in occupational therapy. Oh my gosh. Last time I'm like the medical stuff, I'm like, wow, I had no idea.

Don't fuck me up. Don't fuck me up. Go off queen. No, I got like, it's kind of interesting. We have like a similar little path where it's like we both have our graduate degrees and like this other. Like the formal education. Yeah.

But then like we out here. Creators. No. What the fuck? It never could have anticipated it either. Still feels surreal. And who's to know what we'll be doing five years from now? You just can't predict.

No. There's a lot you can't. That's why I try not to like plan too far out ahead because especially with the rate that technology is moving as well, it's just, it's better to just focus on your systems right now and everything else is just a byproduct. I know. I was talking to someone about that too and I was like, TikTok could be deleted tomorrow. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. But what's really nice and what's a huge privilege is that if it were to be deleted tomorrow, we have our, you know, yeah, formal education to fall back on. Exactly. And that is amazing, but yeah, everything, even going back to like this will stuff, nothing's guaranteed.

Not a single thing in this life is guaranteed. So live it up baby girls. Yeah. And get your wills written. Yes. If you are with someone and you have children, especially, please make sure you have wills in place. Yeah.

Like don't let your family fuck with your vulnerable kids. Yeah. Okay. I just got a message. Yeah. I'm just like feisty about this. Prenups and wills. I'm just like a big plugger of.

It's crazy to think there's probably going to be a bunch of people after listening to this who are going to get wills. I hope so. That's so powerful. I hope so. Beautiful. Do you have any advice on wills? Like if like, like a good way to go about it, is it like, can you download a form and

just have like a notaryary sign it and witnesses or like, how do you know how to do it? In the interest of, in the interest of no legal advice, I just don't want to say the wrong thing. Look up state laws. Yeah. Okay. Legal aid. Legal aid in your area.

Yes. If you, if you cannot afford it. Yes. It's hard too. Cause there's something that really trips me up, especially when we talk about like gun laws in this country, there's state laws and then federal laws. So like an assault rifle can be legal in Texas, but it's illegal federally and it's just like. It's so wild.

It's, it's really fucks me up. Yeah. It really fucks me up. That's like, I could talk about that for a long time, but I know it's, I mean, there's, there's use for it in some instances, but it's, it can definitely be confusing and contradictory and illogical sometimes. Yeah. Okay.

Moving away from the legal drama into my neck of the woods. That, yes, I'm ready. Just, just craziness. So this one is from, am I the asshole? And it's titled, am I the asshole for opening my husband's safe with a crowbar to get money for an emergency? I female 31 am a stay at home mom with two kids. My husband dedicates most of his salary towards the kids and household, but has a safe that

he puts money in on a regular basis. I didn't make a fuss over it because he said that it saved money for an emergency. I asked for the password countless times, but he refused to give it to me and said that in case of an emergency, all I needed to do was inform him. He went on a two day business trip. Our son got sick and I had to take him to the hospital. The problem is he needed medicine, but I didn't have any money except what was in the safe. I called my husband, but he didn't respond.

I texted him explaining the situation, but he refused to cut his trip short and come home. I asked how I was supposed to get money for medication. He suggested I either A, wait for him to get home or B, borrow money from the neighbors. I, I just had it. I hung up and went to the garage to grab a crowbar, then took it to the safe and opened it. I took the money I needed, which was about $60 and went to the pharmacy store to get the

medication. My husband came home a bit earlier and when he saw what I'd done to the safe, he flipped out and started freaking out at me. I said I had no choice. All his suggestions were unreasonable and illogical for me to even consider. He yelled saying I breached his trust and his boundaries and should have never touched the safe, much less use a crowbar on it. We had a big argument and he kept saying that I had no respect for him, his income or his

instructions. Then he completely refused to speak to me and is threatening to move the safe since he no longer trusts me around it. Was I in the wrong for the steps I took? That I have tried another alternative and there is another bullet point, which I might as well just read. I didn't have any credit cards because he's the one that normally has them since they're in his name.

I don't have a bank account to be able to own a credit card. Okay. Well, first and foremost, he's the asshole for not like providing an easier solution or like coming home. Like clearly this is something that requires attention and for him to treat it like it's something that wasn't important, like it's definitely asshole behavior. Of course, like a crowbar is aggressive, powerful little gal, like holy shit. To be totally unbiased, yeah, like boundaries are important.

People have their preferences and even in a state of necessity, like those boundaries are important. But on balance, I'm definitely siding with the woman, like it's not, like my first question is what else was in the safe and it seems like it was just money. So why is it such a fucking big deal? If there were certain things maybe he didn't want her to see, like or a private journal, like maybe, right? But like if it's just money, what the fuck?

I didn't read this one. I picked it solely off the title. It was posted a day ago. So this one's like very fresh and is still like really popping off right now. But let me just say, holy fucking shit. This lady needs to run. Yeah. And I know like, I know people are going to be like, she doesn't have any money.

She's a stay-at-home mom. She has no options. Let me tell you, I think anything is better than living under this financial abuse because that's exactly what this is. Someone who has not one credit card, debit card. She doesn't even have $60 to her fucking name. You're 1,000% right. That went over my head, 1,000% and it's like one of the worst types of abuse too because

it's like, it is what you need to survive. Literally like your child is sick and you can't even afford to get him medication. And antibiotics, I'm assuming it's antibiotics or something like I'm envisioning strep throat. Who knows? Sure, sure. But come on. Yeah. No, that's...

Also, I'm just getting weird vibes. Very weird vibes. Is he a drug dealer? Why is there so much cash in the safe? Why is he on a work trip that he can't come home from? Right. It's very social. Why the control?

And like, I don't know, like if you're a stay-at-home mom, like I've said this again, like it is a very difficult job, but like, please don't be a stay-at-home mom and not have any means of financial freedom. Right. That's like, that's like part of my M.O., like I just don't believe like any... No one should have to feel dependent on someone else. It's... There's something so sacred about having like freedom and autonomy over your life.

And yes, like no shade at all to like stay-at-home moms and yes, it's like an essential job. And one that like if you equate into like a salary is like more than like $200,000 either. So like tons of value and huge. But there has to be... Independence needs to be some financial independence. I really believe should be something that is available to everyone. Otherwise, I think a big reason why we see such a high divorce rate and so many people settling in relationships that they're no longer happy in is because they don't have

any other choice. And that breaks my heart. Like if there's one thing in this world that we should be able to experience, it's free fucking will. Freedom. Freedom. That's like the basic necessity, right? Yeah.

Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness. Literally. All that jazz. Like I like, I'm like sweating over this one. I'm like, I'm honestly, it's really, really sad and like I've seen some couples on TikToks who like talk about it and like even as stay-at-home moms, like their husbands, they have like their own fund money accounts. And so the husband will deposit like $500 a month in her account and then he gets $500

for his fund money and then the rest is for like household stuff. And so, you know, there's some people out there that would be like, well, that's his money and he's paying for the whole household and then he has to give her fund money. And it's like, okay, okay, okay. Is that something you want to look at it? Let's roll it back a little bit. Higher. Exactly.

Child care. Exactly. And I'll go to work so I can have my own money. Exactly. End of conversation. That's literally all that needs to be said. I mean, you just, it's opportunity cost. Like if you didn't have that person, you'd have to pay someone.

It's very simple. And yeah, it's a, there needs to be, there needs to be like better systems in place in order to account for that because, you know, because what do you do? It's also the reason why I feel like even cheating is something that is really evolving over like, especially the last 20 years as women are becoming more financially independent because before when a man cheats, he, there is not as much risk because if he gets caught, he still has his source of income. If a woman cheats and she's financially dependent on the man, it's not just losing her relationship.

It's losing everything. Roof over her head. Yeah. Exactly. And at the same time, the reputation of men in comparison to women is that they cheat more often than women do. And it probably was true because of the circumstances. And I think it's why we are also hearing a lot more stories about women cheating now

is because it's not actually like a gender thing. It's a socioeconomic thing. And it's very fascinating. Oh my God. I think cheating, like shitty, but like so fascinating. It's very fascinating. I just saw another video on it recently where it was like men, like the, even just the gender differences within it, like how it's like more acceptable for men because like they've

kind of always been allowed to have mistresses or, or you can like biologically like impregnate multiple people at the same time or as a woman can only have one child at a time. It's weird. It's also weird that like women can't have children after a certain age and you would think the biological rationale for that would be because you don't want to give birth and then not be able to raise the kid because you're so old. But why can, why are like 90 year old male sperms viable then? I know.

It's so weird. Even yeah, from like a evolution standpoint, you would think like, okay Darwinism survival of the fittest. Why would you want that 90 year old to be able to reproduce if it's not, I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to read about it. Yeah. I know.

There needs to be some studies. He has some literature. Sure. There'd be a lot of participants for that. Yeah. Guys at nursing homes are like, they're hot commodities. Really? Because like if you're a guy living at an assisted living place, you're kind of like

men on average die before women. So like it's, I think the ratio like men to women in nursing homes, I have no idea. That's so morbid. But I know it's definitely skewed in favor of like there being more women. Sure, sure. So men are a hot commodity and like STDs man rampant in nursing homes rampant. It makes sense because like everything you've, you know, carried your whole life is now like at play.

Yeah. I just can't believe people are fucking in nursing homes, but I guess like, whoa. Yeah. Some of them like there's a couple that like there was a huge STD outbreak because they're also at the age. It's giving UCSB. They're also at this age where they're not going to get pregnant. They're not worried about it.

That's true. There's condoms. Yeah. They came out. There were some orgies happening at a couple. Oh my Lord. Yeah. A lot of nursing homes with pineapple mats in front of the doors.

I don't know what a pineapple mat is, what is that? So there's like this thing. And maybe it's true. I'm not involved in the community myself, but there's this thing where if you're a swinger or open to inviting other people into your relationship and your sex life, you'll symbolize it with pineapples. Interesting. So now that I mentioned it.

Now I have to be extra cognizant of like my pineapple imagery. Now that I'm mentioning it and you have your phone next to you and listening, you'll probably get the TikTok video of someone on a cruise recently and they walk by all of the doors and there's like pineapples on all the doors like, hi, come in, welcome. Whoa. All of the cruise ship doors. So apparently if you want a threesome or opening your relationship, cruise is the way to do it.

Okay. A lot of new info for everyone today. You heard it here. Yeah, exactly. So the top comment on this one, which I'm so, so, so happy they picked it up to is this is financial abuse and it's absolutely insane. Go to the neighbors and borrow money seriously, which in what fucking world? Like I couldn't be me.

If my neighbor came to me and asked to borrow money because her husband left on a two day business trip and left her with no money, I'd call adult protective services. I'd ask if she needed help getting to a women's shelter with her kids. It's 2022. Nevermind the fact that as a working parent, he should have set up an account for you, the caregiver with a few hundred dollars for care expenses at all times, but like $60 for an extremely sick child. We live in an age of instant transfers and there's a huge big box of money in the home

and he says, borrow it from the neighbors, not the asshole times infinity. You and your children are victims of abuse. You need to get out, my dear. And then they edit to add a link to the domestic violence hotline, which is www.thehotline.org. If anyone out there is listening and feels like they are in a similar situation because this is unacceptable, it's so unacceptable and deserve so much better. Insane. I'm glad I did not refresh my page at all before reading that because comments are deleted.

Post has now been removed. Holy shit. Yeah. So I went to go see if there's any comments from OP and no comments from OP. Post has now been removed, but we'll have to fingers crossed. But I, yeah, just, it's so sad. So sad. So sad.

And sad to think there's like people who can sleep at night like behaving this way. Oh God, wait till you get the next one. Uh-oh. I'm ready. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Going away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key.

I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org, developed by CDC. Oh my God.

Am I the asshole for letting my four-year-old use all of his money to buy everybody else meals and gifts while we were at Disneyland? So cute. You just wanted to spoil everyone? Let's see the story. I haven't read this one, but it's popping off. It's got like 2.3K upvotes right now posted a day ago. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris for a week with two of my friends and their kids.

My oldest is four, but he gets a monthly allowance from his dad that he can, in theory, spend on whatever he wants. The allowance was my husband's idea because I told him he was spoiling our son, but I personally don't think this is the best way to teach him about money. While we were there, my son kept wanting to use, quote, his card to pay for things. And even though I tried to explain to him that his money would run out, he kept insisting and saying it was okay. When his money ran out, he told my husband over FaceTime because he couldn't get the

toy he wanted. My husband was really upset that I had let him use all of his money on other people, especially since he spent it on food. He told me that wasn't what his allowance was for and didn't want to listen when I told him he was the one who said our son could use the money on whatever he wanted. He told me he was going to put more money on the card and was insisting I let our son buy the things he wanted and got angry when I pointed out giving him more money was to find the whole point.

Especially since I was planning to go back and get him the toy anyways. Am I the asshole? He's a little philanthropist. What a kind soul. I know. Is she the asshole for like not wanting to reinforce just kind of not necessarily being responsible with money? I mean, I don't think she's an asshole.

I think she wants the best for her kid, obviously, but I think the solution here is to like have a conversation and it's so funny because I feel like when I'm not a parent, but just like what I've been exposed to, it seems like so much of like raising kids is based off of like behavior therapy almost instead of just having respect for the child and understanding that like in many ways like adults are still children and in many ways children are adults clearly like if they're behaving in this way and I just think to at least start there and to maybe ask the child why is this something that you want to do and exploring that and getting an understanding of the personality and values of the kid and then moving from

there as opposed to just trying to like stop or start behavior. But I don't know. What do you think? I'm really torn on this one and I haven't read any of the comments yet. I'm like sitting here. I'm just like, I live in Google movies before they end, so I'm just like, I'm dying to read the comments. It is like interesting because it's like, okay, if this was an older child, I would immediately

be like, no, not the asshole you're teaching him. Like money doesn't grow on trees, financial responsibility, you know, all that jazz. So I'm like, okay, if it was an older kid, I'd be like, no, not the asshole. But the fact he's four and I'm like, are you exploiting your kid to then pay for like your friends, food and stuff. But at the same time, like it's your husband's money, but also your money kind of in a sense. So I don't even know. I'm kind of in the boat of just like everyone sucks.

Yeah. And it's also like, is the message that will be received that it's not good to be generous or that people will only value you if you are paying for them. It could go one of two ways, which is a big risk. I can't even think about that. That's a really good point too. Like what is it going to... What the effect will be on the kid, especially at a young age or your sponge.

So... Oh my God. That's so hard. I think again, probably just like the conversation, trying to have one. I know. Well, and like, I just saw a fucking TikTok, I just can't stop talking about it. I've been like rediscovering TikTok this week because I didn't use it at all in Iceland. TikTok's the best.

I love it. But there was this video of this mom who gives her kids a $150 hygiene budget every three months. And it's not like, I know it sounds weird, but she explained it because she got a lot of flak for it. And she goes like, it's, this sounds weird. Obviously I'm going to buy my kids soap if they need soap and they don't have it in the budget.

Like I'm not going to let my kids go without. But this is more so a budget that if they want to buy makeup or fancy shampoo or this and that, they have to budget it. And then it's kind of taught them how to use it appropriately and not waste and blah, blah, blah. So it's interesting. But again, I'm kind of like four. This kid probably doesn't even know how to write his name.

Yeah. I definitely was not getting an allowance at four years old. Like that's just starting there. I don't think there's a... I don't think four year olds need financial autonomy. So yeah, now that I think about it, no, she's not the asshole. If anything, the dad's the weirdo for wanting to give a four year old an allowance, but it's so cute to...

I'm so curious now for scientists to run a study on if you give four year olds money, what do they do with it? And if that's a common thing for the kid to want to give it away, because they don't know what money is. No, there's no concept. There's no concept. I'm so curious now. What would people who don't have a concept of money do with what they believe money to

be? Huh. I love that kind of... This is a... Yeah. I love psychology. I know. I love psychology.

I need to know now. Yeah. I'm scared to scroll down in the comments. I'm excited. Oh, God. Okay. Oh, first one. Top comment.

Red box. A lot of awards. Whoa. Oh, God. You're the asshole. He's four. He barely knows how to wipe his ass correctly, but he's able to, quote, insist on spending money.

This sounds like you have some aggression towards your husband due to him giving an allowance that you didn't want him to have, and you wanted to teach your husband a lesson. If a four year old insists, you act like you swiped their card and then use your own. This is some of the dumbest shit I've read all day. That's fair. I mean, as far as like the percent, like how is the kid going to know, but I don't know. I don't think she's that much of an asshole. I don't know.

Maybe I'm understanding the story differently, but... I don't think it's that... Yeah. That serious. That deep. Yeah. I will say like, four year olds can be pretty fucking insistent. And the world is changing.

There's... Like what it means to be a four year old today is very different than what it meant to be a four year old when we were four. Oh, yeah. And especially with like the iPad. Like so, I don't know. Oh, my God. I wonder if...

I don't know. The iPad has like changed children and I... It's worrisome. Oh, my God. Like in OT, we always say like no screen time before three and let me tell you, my flight back from Iceland, I sat behind or the kid sat behind me, but oh, and I get it's public transportation. Basically, I'm going to have to deal with children.

I get that, but this kid had an iPad when the iPad was on and no headphones, no fucking headphones, listening to Coco Melon or whatever the fuck it was, blues clues out loud. And when it shut off or like the iPad got taken away, bloody murder screams, nonstop like kicking, thrashing about the minute they got the iPad back, happy, calm, lovely child. It's giving addiction. It is because all of these little kids shows, especially Coco Melon, there is a bunch of studies on it now.

It changes the way these kids' brains are wired. Yeah. It's like dopamine release. It is. So they're having like drug like addictions to the screen. And with dolls. Yeah. I just, I couldn't believe it.

I'm never that, like I know kids are addicted to iPads and all that stuff, but like this was by far the worst I have seen it. It makes me worried because recently I've even noticed my own compulsion with my phone to a point where I'm like concerned because I don't have an addictive personality. And it makes me wonder like if I'm feeling this now, what is going to happen five years from now? Like I really don't know. Oh my God.

Yeah. It's only like exponentially getting. Getting worried. Yeah. I definitely need to reevaluate my own screen time because I like find myself where I'm like, I'm always trying to multitask and like as I'm brushing my teeth, I'll just like have TikTok playing and like scroll and I'm like, just like be more in the moment. And I saw, um, had a guest on a while ago named Lyle, the therapy gecko.

And he had a video recently where it was this, um, this guy calling in and he had recently been diagnosed with a visual disease. It's the same, it's the same disease. Another guest I had on Molly Burke has it's hyper pigmentosa something. And so he was diagnosed with that and he's like, I'm going to lose my vision in four or five years or whatever, you know, he said, and he was like, it's really made me stop and appreciate everything. I'm, I'm looking at people's faces more, I'm engaging more, I'm putting my phone down,

like I'm, I'm more present and it's like, oh God, like, okay, I needed that. Yeah. And it really like slows because like you spend a little, you spend like an hour on TikTok and it feels like five minutes has gone by and you spend like, you know, five minutes in nature and it feels like so much longer. And if time is the most valuable resource, like why, why wouldn't we try to extend out our days? And it's funny because so many people will negatively say like, I had such a long day.

And isn't that such a blessing to have such a long day? Like, some days, some days, it's really, I guess it just depends on if it was a long day doing something you enjoy or what you don't enjoy. Yeah. All about the context. Yeah. It's really important to prioritize doing what you actually enjoy. That is true.

And there's so many sayings, like I was just thinking like time flies when you're having fun because in Iceland, like on this vacation, time, like I didn't have enough time. Yeah. Like there wasn't enough time. We would get done with the day and we're like, where did the day go? Like what? That was so fast. Yeah.

Like why? That's so cool. Yeah. I think something needs to happen in regards to the technology thing. And I think so many people are focused on figuring out who's accountable, who's to blame, but it doesn't matter. Even if we have someone to blame it on, the box has been open and it can't be closed. So we have to figure out how to mitigate this new, honestly, like addiction pandemic.

It is one. Look at my parents. My mom. Oh my God. Facebook? Is that fair? They're worse than me. Well, now she's like on Instagram and TikTok, like everything, like it's crazy.

Can of worms. She opened. Yeah. Oh, it's bad. My dad loves YouTube. He's just like always watching YouTube. Same. I hear mine out there.

You'll meet him when you leave. Oh my gosh. He's a little goofball. He just discovered, he discovered Instagram reels a while ago. But he's now on TikTok and it's just, it's scary what he can do on there. I just hold my breath every day. Couple other comments on this one just basically being like completely agree. They sound too immature to have a child, which like no ages were mentioned, but I mean they

got money. They're going to Disneyland Paris and the four year old has allowance. So maybe they're more established than we think. Someone else goes, I just want to add that the kid sounds adorable. Buy food for others. What a nice gesture. Sure OP should have paid, but that child doesn't sound spoiled. Most kids tend to think about themselves before others and there are tantrums when

they don't get what they want. Someone else goes, yes, so sweet that the kid wanted to treat people. This is a great teachable moment. Not about spending without thought and running out of money, but about reciprocity and sharing. Mom should have said, sweetie, you bought lunch and I really appreciate it. So I will pay for your toy. Later on when you're home, you can start teaching about budgeting, remembering that he's four and it has to be kept simple.

You're the asshole for handling it with no grace. Facts. Yeah. Someone else really picked up on the top comment and goes, nope, my four year old does not wipe her ass correctly. It's a wonderful choice between UTIs and wiping her ass for her. Oh my God. Joyce a parenting.

Can babies get UTIs? Yeah. Wow. I had no idea. Oh yeah. You always got to wipe front to back. I have to teach a lot of seniors in OT how to do that as well. The UTI rate in senior citizens is so bad.

All the rates are high. I know. Seniors get really messed up and UTIs and seniors, it's so crazy. It can actually cause delirium where it almost presents like they have dementia, don't remember their name, don't know where they are, don't know what year it is. I asked one lady, that's terrifying. It's so scary. It's very serious.

It's just like a couple of nuts, but I always asked, oh, who's the president and what year are we in? She was like, JFK. I was like, I wish, but no, and I'm so sorry that you have to learn about his assassination. Right. This is bad. Demonstrating. This is bad.

Yeah. Yeah. But I agree. I think teachable moments, and I think like you said the conversation and like parents kind of need to get on the same page. Yeah. It's just interesting like what her concerns were. Yeah.

You know, but cute kid. Cute kiddo. Hope he keeps his big heart. I know. I tried to see if there's any comments from OP, but account has been suspended. She's suspended. Yeah. The mods are just out here, just crushing people today, crushing people, but that's all

I got for you. I love it. It was so good. That was amazing. Oh my gosh. You did great. I had the best time. Thank you.

It's kind of nerve wracking coming on. So like you made it so comfortable. Oh my gosh. And I had the best time. It was just like we were hanging out. I know. And it happened to be recorded. I know.

I know. We got to go get drinks or do something fun outside of the show. Yes. I just love your energy. I love yours. I really, really do. I'm so happy we crossed paths. I know that's Spotify event.

I know. It was just meant to be. Exactly. That was probably like the best part about it was meeting you in person. Oh my gosh. Stop. You flatter me too much. It's true.

It's true. It's true. It's true. I'm not. I'm not. It's all facts. Where can everyone find you? You can find me on TikTok at legal baddie.

You can also find me on Instagram, just my first name at Dallara. Yeah. You caught that handle? Yeah, girl. Damn. Look at you. Because I have two L's in my name. So it's very unique.

Unique. Yeah. I don't wonder why you want to go by the first name basis. Share Dallara. It's been like an identity thing like my whole life because as someone who grew up with the internet, I always got my username. Because if I was born probably like 20 years later, yeah, no one's going to get first names anymore.

No. But legal baddie Dallara. You can find me and I'm excited to meet your beautiful audience and community. And I'm honored to be on the show and be a part of this amazing thing that you built. It's just a little family here. I love it. We're just normal people. Honored to be a part of it.

Well, thank you so much for coming on. I will be sure to link all of Dallara's TikTok handle and everything in the description for both the audio and YouTube. So be sure to check out her content, you guys, because it is truly amazing. Thank you so much. I'm going to link your speech on Capitol Hill too because it was so powerful and just the stats you threw out about DACA, is it DACA or DACA? I don't think there's like a specific, it's an acronym so it's whatever.

I butcher everything, everything. So the stats you give on that I think are so important to like spread awareness. I really appreciate the amplification. Well, I mean, you're like you are so, you're so affected by it still even like a fucking law degree. Yeah. You still can't leave the country. Yeah.

I could, but then I would be barred for coming back for 10 years. So. So you're, you're handcuffed. Like you can't, you live, you can't leave. Like just what, what other option do you have? So it's very important we address this and also very important to consider because a lot of you are going to be voting soon. That's right.

So vote for people who actually give a shit about the issues you give a shit about. Definitely. I mean so much because I can't vote as a DACA recipient. So it really does matter. It's a privilege and one that should be utilized for sure. You pay taxes. I do. What the fuck?

Quite a bit. No taxation without representation. There you go. What the hell is happening here? Okay guys, until next time. Thanks so much for having me. Bye. Bye.

The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Getting away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes.

We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit www.waytoquit.org developed by CDC. This is a radio commercial for the style of Chevy Equinox RS. You won't be able to see its bold design or how its available 8-inch diagonal infotainment screen puts everything right at your fingertips or it's available Wi-Fi hotspot. But if everything you've heard about the Chevy Equinox RS has made you want to see it for yourself, head into your local Chevy dealer and check it out with your own eyes.

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