Two Hot Takes - 90: Not Funny HaHa, Funny Weird..

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Alejandra! Back to back weeks y'all! Thanks to the TikTok audio that's been haunting me, this episode theme came about and boy is it packed with stories that are anything but funny. Cant wait to hear your thoughts on this one. Story 1 starts at 7:09 minute mark. LIVE SHOW TICKETS!!! December 2nd in person Los Angeles Show: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/two-hot-takes-the-bourbon-room-tickets/12614315?pl=BourbonRoom December 4th online intimate virtual show with Moment: https://www.moment.co/THT !!! Join us for our New Spotify Show (It's FREE): https://spotifylive.link/dtrh to join LIVE (download Spotify Live app)!! https://spotify.link/dtrh to listen to already aired episodes !! Patreon for bonus content:  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Nutrafol: Nutrafol.com Promo Code: THT KiwiCo: Kiwico.com/THT Skylight Frame: SkylightFrame.com Promo Code: TAKES NextEvo: Nextevo.com Promo Code: THT

Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites, like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where... You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, Dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Hello, friends and fellow Swifties. If you've been unable to secure a ticket, like me, myself, I'm here to give you some nice news.

You might not be able to get a Taylor Swift ticket, but you can get a Two Hot Takes ticket. Too soon, I know, I know. But I just want to remind you guys that live show tickets are on sale for both the in-person show in Los Angeles on December 2nd and our virtual show on Sunday, December 4th. Both shows are going to be totally unique with amazing stories that are sure to give you FOMO

if you don't attend. We've got everything from holiday pajamas that we're wearing to gingerbread assembly competitions. We each have different houses, so really excited to see how you guys judge us and pick a winner, but it's going to be a really good time and I hope you guys can come. Woo!

New setup today. Who is? New setup, who is? Who is, who is. Yeah, I don't know how long it'll be here, but it's here for a couple episodes at least. It's beautiful. I love the couch.

I do too. It is a really, really good offer-up fund. That is impressive. Were these the same purchase, like same seller? Oh yeah. Wow. This pattern, I wish I was lucky enough to find this pattern twice.

Yeah. I love it so much. It's so funky. If you're only listening today, I'm obsessed with a specific mid-century modern designer. I'm not telling you who it is. I hope you don't recognize it from the couch. Why?

Because I don't want anyone else to find it on offer-up eBay Craigslist. Morgan, gatekeeping? I will fully own gatekeeping this. Okay. There's so many other mid-century modern. I like that you'll say it with your chest. Absolutely.

No, it's mine. It has a lot of sentimental value because me and my dad are obsessed. He was the original collector. He actually knew the guy who designed it and was like family friends oddly after buying so much shit. And so I grew up with it and then it fell on me

to now carry the tradition. It's my job. Yep, and now you're going to gate- Well, I gatekeep those at limited, I'm assuming. Yeah. I mean, I've been searching for it on all of the apps for seven years now

and I've only been able to find a couple pieces. This is the first sofa I've ever found. Wow. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. I can support it. I literally had to fight people on offer-up. I had to literally, the guy stopped responding to me

and I had to have Justin message him. And so Justin was the one that bought it, yet I still showed up. It was a whole fiasco. Damn. Yeah. Then mow me if you want me to drop the designer's name. No.

Did you hear that? My offer-up just dinged. Did it? Maybe something important is up. No. No. Oh, you can cut it. You can cut it.

You can cut it. You can cut it. I don't have to beep that out. We both realized it at the same time. Beep it out. I'm sorry. How dare you. It just happened.

How dare you? I wasn't trying to sabotage you. It just happened. Well, kind of fitting with how weird I am about this, I've had like an older TikTok audio stuck in my head because someone made another TikTok with it recently and it's, I think it's going to be making a comeback.

And the sound kind of evolved. What sound? What sound? Sorry. The TikTok sound is, hmm, not funny, haha, funny, weird. That's not that old. Okay, good.

Yeah. And then someone kind of made it evolve and they changed it a little bit and they went, hmm, not funny, haha, funny, I'm going to have a mental breakdown. I haven't heard that one. So it's really good. And, you know,

these stories kind of fall in between the two. Not funny, haha, funny, weird, definitely weird. Okay. And borderline, I'm going to have a mental breakdown. Oh my God. Not again. Well, but like they're not our mental breakdowns.

What are my mental breakdowns? I don't know. You want to talk about it? I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Yeah. I'm trying to think about the last time I had a mental, like a real mental breakdown, but they're always so, so, um, trivial.

You know, like it's always the smallest thing that breaks. The straw really does break the camels back in my life. Like I will have all of this bad stuff happen to me. And then it'll be like, Have you ever walked by a door and then you like get stuck on it? That's your 13th reason. That's it. And that's what sends me.

Like that's where I'm like, that's it. Like everyone's dying today. I'm choosing violence. If I'm in pain, everyone's in pain because I got stuck on this stupid door. Oh my God. Like it's always the little thing or like, Yeah.

You know what I mean? That's where I'm at. I haven't had like a real mental breakdown recently, which has been really swell. I wish I could say the same. I'm so sorry. I don't know why. We'll get you there.

But anyways. Okay. So mentee bees. Mentee bees. Mentee bees. Speaking of which, Mentee bee. So,

I fully am. Okay. I'm there. I wasn't going there. I am. Well, we don't want that. Well, we look a little unhinged. So I haven't drank alcohol on an episode in like probably three months.

Yeah. Maybe longer. Yeah. And so this is my first episode in this new studio with alcohol. And we decided we're going to do a full send in front of me. If you're watching, we both have a hot toddy, but Morgan's is featuring tequila minus featuring a nice mezcal. And then for our second option, we have espresso martinis.

Again, we've subbed the vodka for tequila because we are unhinged. Yeah. And I needed caffeine. And apparently we need caffeine because it's a Monday and Monday nights are hard. And it's the first Monday of daylight savings. Ugh. I thought they passed a law and we were done with this. I think that's next year.

Perhaps. I'm not sure. But in any event, it's too dark, too early Monday. It's depressing. It's dark. It's cold. It's rainy. Honestly, all odds were against us today.

So bad. So that's why we have a hot toddy and an espresso martini. Mind your business. Mind your business. Mind your business. Let's dive in. Okay. Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.

I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Alejandra. Whoa. Another intro we forgot. Every single time. I don't know. It wouldn't be an episode. It's almost like more of a surprise though.

Like it's like, oh, who am I with today? I can't tell. They all sound the same. It's all good. It's all good. Right. Okay. So I thought this first one would be really good to start off with because we both hate

Halloween and don't come for us because I know there's a lot of Halloween lovers out there. Like Justin is one of them. He lives for Halloween and I think I just live for like the adult Halloween. Like I just want to pass out candy to kids and like have a cute decorated house. I don't like the pressure of like dressing up anymore and like looking hot. I just don't have it in me. I really admire the people that do and like have these hot ass costumes and like makeup

and go full-fledged. But like maybe next year, maybe I will really try next year. Correct. But it's hard. Before the people out there dragged me, I'd like to clarify that I do not hate Halloween. I just really don't care for it. I feel like I'm dancing on a fine line. I just like to clarify for the record before I have hate mail, you know.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I want to stand in that camp with you. I don't hate it because it doesn't like bring me back feelings. Because that is too strong. Yeah. It's not like I wake up like the Grinch on Halloween. I'm more so.

Indifferent. I'm indifferent. It's any other day to me. I'm like, oh, it's Halloween. What? I don't know that, you know. Well, let's get in this one. Okay.

Let's do it. Am I the asshole for taking our son trick or treating without my wife? My 29 male wife, 30 female, and I have a four-year-old son. As Halloween approached this year, my son let me know that he wanted to dress up as characters from his favorite show at the moment. These aren't costumes that are readily available to buy, so I was going to have to do some crafting magic and make them. I'm a stay-at-home father and my wife is something of a workaholic.

She could cut down on her hours if she wished, but she's always been a very work-driven slash focused person. She's not very maternal. Because of this, my son has never been very attached to her. They have time together at dinner, but even during times when my wife is off work, like during bath time and bedtime, it's always just me. This isn't me complaining. I signed on for the stay-at-home dad life, and I enjoy every minute of it.

I just wish for his sake that she would be more involved. About a month before Halloween, my son asked if my best friend, 35 male, could dress up with us. He had already assigned himself and me a specific character, and I had started working on the costumes, so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to add one more. He adores my best friend. They have such a sweet bond and have since my son was born. I asked best friend if he wanted to join us trick-or-treating, and he immediately agreed.

During dinner the night following this, I asked him what character he wanted his mom to be. My son said he only wanted to go trick-or-treating with daddy and best friend. Over the course of the next month, I would casually bring it up again to my son, and he continually gave the same answer. My wife was clearly hurt, but would brush it off. Fast forward to Halloween night. I had spent weeks working on these little costumes for all of us. As we were getting ready, my wife and I got into a big argument over the fact that she

didn't have a costume. I pointed out that if she had wanted me to make her one, she could have requested to do so, or she could have gotten one for herself. She said it was ridiculous that the three of us were doing a matching theme and leaving her out of it, and that she wasn't even going. In the end, best friend and I took him trick-or-treating alone, and my wife still isn't speaking to me because she, quote, can't believe I actually went without her. We don't like Halloween that much, so we're pretty unbiased here.

Yeah, to me, I'm like, okay, another day. Another day you didn't spend with your son. Because it sounds like she doesn't spend most evenings with her son. Yeah. But... I know, it's tough. I want to know more about their dynamics. I know.

From an objective standpoint, I feel, and again, this is coming from the perspective of a single woman with no children who I don't know what it's like to be a mother. Take it with a grain of salt. So take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt. I feel like if you're co-parenting, then things like that should be a joint decision, like trick-or-treating, and most other things should be kind of like something you guys agree on. And so if he kind of just went trick-or-treating without the wife and didn't make her aware of that, then I think that's a little wrong, in my opinion.

Yeah, I agree. I think it's really weird, too, because the kid is like four. Yeah, I was just going to ask, so how old is this child? Kiddo is four. And so he's kind of letting this four-year-old dictate, too, like, what do you want mommy to dress up as? I don't want mommy to come. You're letting a four-year-old make that decision of ostracizing his mom, which like,

if she did want to co- and spend that time with him, that is an opportunity for them to develop their relationship. I don't know, it is interesting because I feel like this whole post, he was really shitting on her. Even when she could be there, she isn't. If she wanted to cut back on work hours, she could. Depending on the career, no, she can't. If she's a doctor, very unlikely she could just cut back on hours.

Or a lawyer, like, they're working all the time. So I just felt like, for me, he was like, really, like, just felt, and I get, like, if that's the reality, that's the reality. She's a very uninvolved parent. But I don't know. Just felt like he didn't want to include her. And the little kid, a four-year-old, saying, I don't want mommy to come was like the perfect opportunity to like, oh, well, let's invite my best friend.

Yeah. And I also think I agree with that. I feel like in that moment, you could use this moment or this event to kind of create a bond or like, spend more time as a family. I feel like that's where your hat as a dad or a husband kicks in. It's like, hey, so-and-so, little Timmy. No, that's not how it works. Yeah, it's not how it works.

We got to play nice. We're a family. We're like a team. We all go out together. Or we don't go at all. Yes. And then, okay, what's your decision? You can't just un-include because that's teaching a bad lesson from the start too.

Like the kid goes into the world thinking he can just cut people out of the picture, like at the drop of a hat. I feel like that would have been an opportunity to kind of redirect him and be like, hey, mommy's a part of this group too. Mommy's a part of the family. I think you're making an interesting point. Like it sounds like almost he scapegoated that to kind of cut her out of the situation. Yeah.

It is really interesting. And I read the top comment just now and it goes, I have to go with you or the asshole. I'm halfway waiting for the update where you turn the guest bedroom into an art studio for the best friend without discussing it with your wife. Okay. Didn't that happen on another post? Yeah. That was ringing bells when you read this.

Yeah. We covered it on Patreon. Yeah. I believe it was Justin and I. Is this the same OP? No. Oh. No, but it's like, it does give that vibe where it's like, do you want a relationship

with your best friend? Right. Your best friend has had a relationship with your child since they were a baby. Babies don't give a fuck what's going on except feed me, burp me, change my shit. Like you had a great relationship with a baby. Yeah. So was he stepping up as another dad at that point too? Right.

The friend dynamics throwing me a little bit. I'm very skeptical of it. Yeah. It's a little sass. I think it is an asshole move. Yeah. I think that you have to kind of like put your foot down as a father and as a husband and as, you know, like you said, you can't let the four year old kind of drive this.

Yeah. Well, someone else made a comment too. Your attitude towards your wife versus best friend is weird. You make a costume for your friend to join trick or treating, but not your wife. Yeah. It's almost like you are punishing her for working long hours. You're the asshole. Yeah.

It seems like a little slight. Well, and then he was like, oh, well, I told her she could buy one. Well. That's not fun. She doesn't want to buy one. That's not the point. And like as someone that doesn't even really like Halloween, if I had like three friends that were like dressing up as the power puff girls and then said, oh, well, hey, you can

come, but like just pick your own costume. Just go buy one. Just go buy one. Did you say power puff? What are they called? Powder puff. Oh, powder. Yeah.

Those ones. The cute little red, green and pink. I know you're talking about. Red, blue and pink. Whatever. Me and Lauren should do that one year. It's perfect. That'd be good.

Buttercup. Just dress up as the doctor. Who's the doctor? Wasn't that they're like guardian? They didn't, they have like the doctor who followed them around. Did they? Yeah. Wait, who did you say can be the guardian?

Well, if like, if Justin's around. Justin's around. Yeah. Justin can be the guardian. Yeah. That's fine. He loves Halloween. This guy, Professor Utonium, he like made them, I think.

Oh, no, he doesn't go around with them. Does he? Yeah. He's like another sidekick. Really? He's the scientist responsible for creating the power. It is powerpuff. It's powerpuff.

It's powerpuff. Ah. The way that I just gaslit you into thinking you was wrong. Yeah. Wait, so I've gotten all 28 years of my life thinking. It's the powder puff. It's powerpuff. I think it was powder puff football.

Wait, you're lying. No, show me. It's powerpuff. The powerpuff girls. Nice try, bitch. See you later. Show yourself out. You're done.

The confidence. The speed. You looked at me too. I wish I could rely on you. I know. Well, we can. It's the powerpuff girls. What?

Wait, no, I'm judging you. I'm going to gaslight you again. Why didn't you stop me and go, why would they be the powerpuff? I'm not that attuned with cartoons anymore. I fell off. Everyone's probably screaming when I correct you that they're like all hundreds, literally a psycho. They're already typing.

They're already typing. They're already typing, and then they're going to relax a minute later. Oh my God, I'm lying. They're crying over this. Wow. That was great. Okay, so Justin can meet Professor Uranium. You don't?

You don't? But yeah, he teaches classes in quantum physics. Oh, perfect, Justin. That's space or some shit. Perfect. So it's right up there. You don't? You don't?

You don't? You don't? But yeah, he teaches classes in quantum physics. Oh, perfect, Justin. That's space or some shit. Perfect. So it's right up our alley. Next year, we're going to do it.

You got this. We're going to suck it up and we're going to celebrate Halloween. Are we just do a special Halloween to how it takes live? Yeah, okay. And then we can all dress up like this. There we go. This is perfect. Yeah, okay.

Put it in the books right in the calendar already, guys. Next year. Speaking of live shows. Finger guns. I'm literally dying right now. She's got allergies. Oh my God, my allergies are out of control. Okay, speaking of live shows.

December 2nd in person in LA and December 4th, virtual on moment. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. A weekend full of fun. You can see us not once, but twice. Can you imagine? Can you imagine seeing us twice in one weekend?

Whoa. Oh my God. But you don't have to because if you're in LA, come see us at the bourbon room. And if you're not in LA, you can see us virtually on Moment House. And make gingerbread houses with us. Yeah, they're so funny. We're not going to spoil it, but they're really, really cute. And we each have a different one.

They're like personality picks. Some other comments from OP. People are asking about like the best friend and he kind of elaborates and he's like, he does freelance work and all of it is remote. Whether he's busy or not, he'll usually come and join my son and I for breakfast slash lunch and hang out for a little while. Like every day. Sounds like it.

My wife and I are on something of a break right now and are taking a step back from things. What? To show her affection and be warm with her despite our own problems that we shield from him. It is interesting. There's something, something's going on here. There's some trouble in paradise.

There's definitely turmoil in this relationship. I mean, obviously they're on a break so they know it and they're taking a step back. This is bigger than trick or treating. This is bigger than Halloween. Yeah. What's going on? This friend has a very interesting dynamic within the family. Not really sure.

I mean guys being guys sometimes I think get a little bro-ey and so I don't know if he's just like having a bromance with his friend. Yeah. That's all it is. And he doesn't realize that he's like making his wife feel like siloed in the process. But it's definitely sounds like it's driving a wedge in their marriage and in their parenting. So it's something that they need to like really figure out. Absolutely.

And it's like he goes like comment after comment is like mom was still invited to go. I just gave him the choice of involving her in our matching costumes. My wife is the one who ultimately made the decision not to join us, which I mean some would then say, well, you know, she, she could have gone. She could have put on a tough face and like had that opportunity with her kid to show up for her kid and let the costume thing go. But at the same time, like when you're hurt from being like slighted in that way, that would be really difficult to watch your husband and his best friend almost play house with

your child having matching costumes. Also, you just made a good point. I think going back to something that he pointed out about the mom is that she's not naturally maternal. So it's like you're kind of making it harder for her. It's like, you know, somebody is bad at swimming and you're kind of like taking off their floaties. Like, you know, she struggles to come. Connect with your son.

You know that you admit it and you're not making it any easier. You're making her feel more separate by with the costume. The costume thing seems trivial, but she's already not somebody who sounds like she like knows how to like step into that role and kind of like take everything and stride. And so if she's already kind of struggling to insert herself into this Halloween situation and then now you're making it eat like a layer of difficulty, like, oh, and by the way, we have matching costumes that I made and you have to go get your own. It's like you're giving her an out almost you're making it difficult for her to feel

involved. Oh, 100%. And I know that it sounds like, well, he doesn't have to do everything for her. Like she's an adult. Exactly. I get that. But you're a marriage, you're a partnership. Everyone has weaknesses.

And coming again from an unmarried woman to take this with a grain of salt. My idea of like a marriage and a partnership is like kind of picking up each other's slack from time to time and like filling in the gaps where like, you know how to step up and be a great father to your four year old, but maybe your wife struggles with certain things. I make it harder on her. That's it. Like there's other people in the comments that are like, is everyone ignoring the fact that the mom knew beforehand that the kid didn't want her there and didn't want her to have

a costume but didn't say anything the entire time, which yeah, she could have inserted herself more and said, you know what, I know I want to go trick or treating with you guys. Can you please include me? Like I know he doesn't want me to have a costume, but like he's four and we're not going to let a four year old get his way. That's excluding mom. So I mean, it could just be like they both suck. I feel like he's more, you're the asshole because he's, he's not using this as a teaching

moment. And I also think it is hard where it's like, you hear this a lot with moms, especially like first time moms who have postpartum depression, they often say that a big trigger for why they kind of went down that rabbit hole, at least for some of the moms in my life that I've talked to this about, it was the fact that they didn't bond with their child right away. And there's so much pressure on moms to have this instant bond with their kid. And he said it right there.

She's not very maternal, like what's the definition of maternal? It's funny. I think we touched on this on another episode because I, I kind of relate to this wife that he's describing because I don't really think I'm maternal and they say that you, you say that and then you have a kid and you figure out that you're actually very maternal. Yeah. But I genuinely like don't, I've never felt very maternal. Like just, it doesn't come to me.

Well, and there's, there's people that it doesn't. It just doesn't feel natural to me. It doesn't feel like it's come to me. Maybe it could one day when I have a child, I don't know, but like as it stands and I also like love to throw myself into work. And so I could see myself being kind of like, I don't want to say a disconnected mother, but a little bit less like maternal, like less leaning into it. Yeah.

And so I, I relate to her in a lot of ways, even though I'm not a mom, just cause I can see myself like going down that road in some ways for better or for worse. Yeah. But I guess, yeah, I'm curious to hear what maternal really means. Definition of maternal relating to a mother, especially during pregnancy or shortly after childbirth, denoting feelings associated with or typical of a mother, motherly, maternal instincts. And I think there's so many ways you can be a mom.

You don't have to be this overly affectionate helicopter parent like that. We typically associate with moms. You can still be a mom and not have that. So I don't know. It is, it's interesting that he would use that against her when we, we're missing so much context here. I would love to know how the conversation went with like deciding like you're a stay at home dad versus I'm a stay at home parent or, Hey, we both work and we use daycare.

Like I'm, I'm so curious to the context, but this one just, I did get funny, weird vibes. It's a little weird. There's something weird going on in that marriage for sure. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more.

Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house. You promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long in the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details.

Dealer inventory may vary. Let's just stay on this little tangent here with this next one. Why? Is it another kid story? Kind of. Okay. It's so funny because Morgan knows this and I don't want people yelling at me about this, but it's everyone has their opinions and everyone has their interests and everybody has their

likes. I don't like love children. I don't, I don't not like them, but I don't love them. I'm not the person who walks into a function and there's kids and I like run to them. You say that, but your cousin just got married and you took a picture with her new little step kiddos. Those kids are different and those kids are, those kids are really good kids. It comes down to you.

Meredith, you have great kids. Like those kids are amazing. Okay. I love those kids and, and I love kids like, but I don't, what I'm saying is like, there's some kids that are devilish. Yes, but it's not even that. Like it's a good kid, bad kid, we're like, okay, people are going to get mad at me. Like well behaved child, a little rambunctious, whatever.

That's not what makes or breaks it for me. Like I just like to, even when I was a kid, my mom can vouch for this. Like I always wanted to sit at the adult table. I always wanted to be in the adult convo. And so I just never really, and part of this is like, now we're really unpacking my traumas. It's like my, my childhood kid, I'm on the therapy couch, I'm actually going to therapy for this exact reason. I'm about to say like my inner child didn't get to be a child.

I had to grow up very quickly and I had to take care of myself. And so I think that I'll just child syndrome. Because of like, I disconnected from my own inner child at such a young age. I think in my adulthood now, I don't connect to those kids because I never connected to myself as a kid. Yeah. And so it's not a bad thing.

It's not like a, I don't like your kid's situation. I just like, I get around. I don't know how to relate. I don't know how to relate to them. And I talked to them like an adult. And that's how you should have talked to kids. And they love it. Kids love it for that reason.

That's how you help like baby talk. Don't talk to your kids with baby talk. It actually like you, you can look it up and talk to a speech therapist. But baby talk is bad for your kids. Really? Yeah. So, and kids love it. Like I was a nanny.

Literally develop. Yeah. Kids, I do great with. Oh, so you were nanny. You know I was a nanny. Okay. Then you're good for this one. You're fine.

Oh, okay. Let's go. Let's dive in. Yeah. Enough about me and my childhood traumas. It's like, let's talk about me grabs, Mike. So let's start with the childhood years. Where do we begin?

Okay. Roll tapes. Back it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this one is titled, am I the asshole for telling my kids's babysitter that I was inappropriate of her to shower in my home? Okay. Just right off the bat.

I have thoughts, but I'm not going to give them. I hired a babysitter for my five and three year old kids two weeks ago. My husband works shifts while I work long hours at a marketing company. So far, we've had no issues until yesterday. I came home at six PM and noticed the babysitter's wet hair and new clothes. She told me she took a shower after one of the kids spilt milk all over her. I was confused, but visibly upset. But she tried to assure me the kids were fine because my husband watched them while

she took her shower, which only lasted for a few minutes. I was more confused that my husband was home when he had a shift to cover. Yeah. I told her, I didn't think it was appropriate for her to shower in my home like that. She argued that it was fine and that she had no choice and couldn't leave the milk on her like that. We argued and my husband heard the commotion and got involved.

He said it was not as big of a deal as I was making it out to be, but I told the babysitter that I did not appreciate how she basically ignored how I felt about this and didn't and dismissed my feelings still. She went home, but we still argued on the phone. She thinks she's done nothing wrong and said, I was being unfair when I mentioned potentially cutting from her salary after that. My husband keeps saying that I'm overreacting and the quote, poor girl couldn't handle having milk stains on her body and clothes, but I couldn't

help feel it was inappropriate and she should have checked with me. Am I the asshole for my reaction? Just for info. I'm the one who pays her, not my husband. I told her to call her text, always available if anything happens. I didn't even know my husband was home at the time. If you noticed, I said that I argued with her even before she told me my husband was home and no, I didn't know how big the stain was, but she argued about

being covered in milk for six plus hours. As for the question of why my husband didn't go to work, he said he was feeling a bit sick and swapped shifts with a coworker. The babysitter is 24. She said she has experience and yes, she normally brings a bag of clothes, wet wipes and stuff like that with her. Um, I have a lot of thoughts on this one. Let's hear them.

Yeah. Um, I think that. I think that, you know, obviously every family and household has their rules, right? Like every, you know, some houses are like, we're a no shoes house or we're a shoe's house. So it's like, you can't be like, am I an asshole for asking my guests to remove their shoes?

It's like, if you're a no shoe policy, that's your home. That's your rule. No one can really tell you that that's wrong. So in this case, like, although from a personal standpoint, I don't really see the shower as that big of a deal. I can see how maybe it feels a little inappropriate to shower when it's her husband and kids home. I feel, I get how that can feel uncomfortable and I'm not discounting that.

But I think for the nanny or the babysitter to argue back. That's weird. It's a little weird to me, like just kind of take the L and just know that you crossed a boundary in her home because she's uncomfortable with it. And you can't, it's her house, her rules kind of thing. Um, as far as like deducting pay, if she's saying she's going to take away like the five minutes that she showered and going to try to, I think that's really petty.

And I think, yeah, you're an asshole. If you try to do that, because you're, think about why you're showering. She's not showering to go get ready to go to like on a date. She's showering because apparently she got dirty on the job. So technically the shower is because of what her work duties entailed her doing. And I don't see that as like a leisure activity. I see that as like part of the job. And so I think that that's just being really petty and annoying.

And it's being unreasonable. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm trying to envision, I'm sorry, but I mean, I just like, I'm trying to envision how much milk she got spilled over her to like shower. I think that part's weird. Like again, I've been a nanny. I've gotten dirty on the job. I, I first of all, I would not want to, I wouldn't want to shower. I think I'd rather sit in dirty milk all day.

Maybe I'd go change. I would change. Change into a bear's bath. Yeah. But I don't think I would shower. I honestly think I would take that out for the day because I would feel uncomfortable. Yeah, I just think like there's certain, I think it depends on your role. Like for me, I know I had some friends in college that would do their nanny

family's like laundry, like the parents' laundry, not just the kids. So weird. Sorry. That to me is so weird. Like I don't want to see anyone else's like, no, no, no, we're not going to go there. Period nanny is like skid marks, boxers. I don't need to see that. I don't need it.

I don't need it. I've seen too many TikToks of guys not spreading their ass cheeks and scrubbing. There's so many girlfriends that keep going to their boyfriends and being like, Hey, you know, when you're showering, do you scrub back there and literally the guy answered and he goes, no, I just kind of let the water flow through the crack and take care of it. Oh my gosh. You guys, that doesn't work.

T M I, but okay. Get a loofah or lather up your hand. I don't know what you're worried about. You will be okay. It's time to clean your asshole. That's my TED talk. If you're going to be an asshole, be a clean one. Exactly.

That's all Morgan wants you to know. Exactly. I'm looking up for everyone's personal hygiene and quality of their boxers. Thank you. Now with that side, we can move on. Yeah. So for me, I, I wasn't ever doing that. Like most of the kiddos I even had, like they were basically potty trained by

the time I stepped in, which was amazing. Kind of like I wouldn't even do their laundry. Like the kids is laundry. I'd throw it in a basket. If like it was questionable, but like other than that, like I didn't do that. So I would never even like think like I'm going to go shower. Also, the husband got home. So for her to be like, I didn't want to sit in the milk leave her.

Go home. Hey, thank you so much for being here. Bye. I remember one time I was nannying and one of the parents came home and this is one of those things where I can't tell if they're doing it for you or for them. Yeah. But he came home. I think it was he and he just like, it wasn't feeling well.

So he went up to his room and like slept, but like, he didn't relieve me. He was just like, okay, hi, I'm going to go upstairs. I don't feel well. Yeah. And he wasn't like, go home. I'm done. You know, it was like, and I was like, why am I here? But then I, I couldn't tell if it's like, I don't want to skimp you of your

paycheck hours. I want you to still have the work day. I don't want my kids to bother me while I'm sick and trying to nap. That's what I think it is. Obviously, that's what I think it is. But like, I don't know. To me, it struck me as a little weird, especially if he comes home and he sees like you're covered in milk and it's like, Hey, you look comfortable.

Go home, take the rest of the day. We'll pay you through the day. Yeah. Yeah. Like I, you take it off. So this is a two sided coin. I don't, I think it's okay for the mom to say, Hey, you know, I don't really feel comfortable with you showering in the home.

I don't, to me, it feels inappropriate, whatever, whatever. As a nanny, you're supposed to just kind of take that and say, all right, your house, your rules. Like, although I felt really uncomfortable, like I apologize for crossing a boundary. I'll do better next time. Yeah. Now you kind of know, Hey, can you let me know kind of what you're cool with and what you're not moving forward?

Yeah. But I don't think that her, like the whole arguing, it doesn't need to be this huge thing. I think maybe you and your nanny need to like split ways because you guys are clearly a little contentious. Oh, they're done. These should be done. Yeah.

I think they should be done. If boundaries can't be respected, like, Hey, it happened. I think it was extremely inappropriate. She's still trying to fight you on it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for the last two weeks. I'll pay you for everything, but I don't think this is going to work.

I agree. Um, the top comment is obviously it's the most highlighted, most awarded 46,000 upvotes. What did this person say? That was so good. Um, you hired a babysitter. Your husband was at home when he was supposed to be working. Babysitter went to clean up and seen a potentially bigger problem here, OP.

Oh, wow. People are like, no, but like, I mean, she only got, she only started two weeks ago. Okay. That's, that's really quick development. I mean, things have happened in less time. Frazier things have happened. I wasn't even like, I wasn't even thinking like necessarily him cheating, but I

know there are some people that love to seduce others. Like the nanny. Yeah. Maybe she's trying to seduce him. Think about like, there's so many nannies in Hollywood that have literally slept with the celebrities they work for. Ben Affleck, she with the nanny. Affleck.

Affleck. That's Affleck. That one, you can fact check me out. You know, Affleck is like an insurance company. I thought he was a spokesperson for it at one time. You're lying. Wasn't that on a commercial or they tried to get him? Maybe, but his last name is absolutely Affleck, Ben Affleck.

Okay. I believe you on that one. Thank you. Um, and then Jude Law, she with the nanny. I think there are a couple of stories like that, huh? Can everyone just hear her googling away? Ben Affleck, allegedly cheated. Affleck.

Where's the A? I don't know. Allegedly cheated on Jennifer Garner, which Jennifer Garner is like, I know. How dare you? Yeah. Um, and there's rumors that Ben stiller did too. Well, I think Arnold Schwarzenegger had his son with the nanny. Oh, yeah, he did.

Just why? So I think so, yeah. Yeah. There's only one comment from OP and it is in response to info. Why was she babysitting if your husband was home? Also, is he cheating question mark? And so OP responds and goes, like I said, he was supposed to have a shift that day. It's supposed to, she could have, should have, would have, I don't know.

Ouch. I don't know. My mind didn't go there. Maybe I'm done. Maybe everyone's screaming at us right now for missing that. I don't know. It, my mind didn't go there, to be honest with you. Could be.

Mind didn't go there either. Could be a possibility always. Very curious how that plays out. But either way, I think it's not a good fit for either nanny or mom. I think it's been a little severed and it's best to move on. But that is a little annoying that he came home. He wasn't like, he didn't feel well and he needed somebody to kind of see the day through. He was just like, oops, got my schedule wrong.

It's like, okay, go home. I think he was trying to switch, switch shifts because he didn't feel good. Oh, he was feeling a bit sick and swap. Got it. That's right. Okay. So he wasn't feeling well. But again, like, I don't know.

Yeah. But I didn't pick up on the cheating. I'm very curious. Yeah. I just think like the bottom line in this one, it's like, if you're uncomfortable with someone using your home facilities, like showering. Your home facilities. Like bathroom, obviously someone's going to have to pee while they're there.

Yeah. Poop, whatever. Coffee hits, you know, gotta get to business. But yeah, showering, I think that's a fair boundary. Yeah. Unless the kid puked on you. I think if the kid pukes on me, see, like I'm always in, I always ask like out of an abundance of caution, almost like annoyingly.

Like I ask about everything. I think I used to get it out of the way up front. Yeah. I'm more so like, Hey, the kid just puked on me. Like I'll send a picture to like, can I like shower? Or like, Hey, how do you want me to proceed? I can either a shower or be, you can come home and I'll leave. Okay.

Well, and with that, she did say to the nanny like, Hey, call her text at any time. Exactly. So she made herself available. She said, communicate with me. I'm the one paying you. Yeah. Communicate with me. And yet there was no conversation like, Hey, little Timmy poured a jug of milk on

me while I was sitting down. Right. Little Timmy projectile vomit on me. I'm literally sitting in throw up. I would sit in throw up. Okay. The baby's discussing. I would sit and throw up and wait for a response before I like just assumed.

I would. That's me. I know that's me being weird. I think most people would like act. I don't know what I would do. At UC. Cause I got pooped on at work, but like, where were you working? At a hospital.

Oh, okay. It's like Maynard's. Has a server. Honestly, out of all the jobs I've had, it could have happened as a flight attendant or a server. Yeah. You've had jobs where like, that was a fair ask you guys. Morgan's had a lot of jobs where people could poop on her. Actually, like that, right?

Yeah. Like, that's fair. Yeah. That was fair game. I think it's a valid question. Okay. So what did you do? Oh, well, you were at the hospital.

Yeah. It was like when I went about my day. Right. My coworker got like really shit on her pants. Mine was just like a little bit on my shoe. Sorry. Mine was just my shoe. So like, I think I bleach wiped it and then like went about my day.

Like whatever. There's just a wound on. There's nothing you can do. And I didn't even throw the shoes away. I threw them in the wash and like, warm again, whatever. Yeah. But she, she got shit all over her pants. And so she had to change.

She had to like request scrubs from like the surgery department. Dang. Yeah. It was a good fun. It was a good time. It was funny. Yeah. Not for her, but for me.

For you. You switched over there to your espresso martini. I'm going back and forth. I'm kind of like, I'm kind of double fisting. That's psychopathic. It's literally a Monday night. Morgan, chill. It's a Monday evening.

The violence that you're choosing. I have a long night ahead of me. Yeah. I have a lot to clean before another recording session tomorrow morning. Oh, fun. We're very tangential in this episode. But you know what? That's good.

It's good. It's what we're here for. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying.

Learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytokwit.org. Developed by CDC. This next one.

Give me a good one. This is definitely in the category of like, I'm going to have a mental breakdown. Okay. Unhinged. It's giving unhinged. Yeah. Also apologies ahead of time for my voice this episode. It's a little off.

I shouldn't be recording, but we are. Really? Damn. Okay. So this one is titled, am I the asshole for giving my late husband's brother and his kids three days to move out? My late husband Adam, male 36, passed away a month ago. He had lung cancer and it was terminal.

I live in his house that he owned, still haven't done anything concerning inheritance. His brother lost his job and a place and moved in with me a week ago. I got to admit, I wasn't too pleased to have him move in with me. But I had no choice after I got talked into it by family. And since we had the chance to help each other grieve. Here's the situation. He started randomly walking into the bedroom and excusing it as quote, needing to borrow something from Adam's closet.

He wears his clothes and even started using his stuff, razor, laptop, et cetera. He also got his hands on his piano, which to me felt disrespectful because Adam wouldn't want it touched or moved. I try to have conversations with him about what's allowed slash what's not, but he'd throw the quote, would Adam want you to be treating me like this? Line at me. It made me feel frustrated. I seriously started complaining, telling him to leave.

Now the current conflict. I finally brought myself to open Adam's closet and found a box full of wrapped gifts. I read the piece of paper at the bottom and he wrote that he had gotten me a gift for the next year's occasions in advance. Since he knew he wouldn't be around much longer. I was absolutely stunned. I looked at the gifts, but didn't open them. There was a gift for my birthday, Valentine's, her wedding anniversary,

Christmas and so on. He said he wanted this gesture to also serve as a comforting method. So I wouldn't feel so devastated since we know that grief gets tense during these times. I could not believe it. I mean, he was always this thoughtful, but I never just knew that his thoughtfulness could reach this level. I was out yesterday and when I returned, I found that my nephews had opened all the

gifts and ruined them. I was appalled. My joy instantly faded. I had a huge argument with my brother-in-law, but he said the kids were curious and that it was my fault for not concealing my stuff like I should. I told him he had three days to move out. He started ranting about how it's his brother's house and how I was ruining family relationships over a few gifts.

Mother-in-law got involved and took his side, saying he's grieving and that this is his brother's house and that I'm acting unhinged. Am I being too emotional? I wanted to feel his presence in his presence this upcoming year, but I feel like it was ruined for me. That's deep, presence in the presence. I know. Oh, my heart just breaks for her.

My heart breaks for her too. I don't know. What do you think? I don't think you're the asshole for asking him to move out. It's very, very clear at this point that he does not respect your boundaries. And I get, maybe he's embarrassed that his kids open these gifts and now he's like, oh, well, it's your fault you didn't hide it, but you know what? When people are faced with, you know, the first worst day of her life was

losing her husband to lung cancer. The second worst day is losing every thoughtful thing he left behind that was intended for her to grieve him, his loss, his love over the next year. She just got that rip from her. And so to immediately be like, Hey, you know what? My kids aren't little assholes. You should have hidden it better versus an easy, you know, Hey, I am so sorry. I should have been watching them better.

I am so sorry. He literally said they were curious. So was he there when they found those gifts and then they brought those gifts to him and were like, Hey, dad, look what we found. What are these? First of all, why were you in his closet? Why were the kids in that closet? Why were the kids in that closet?

Why were you snooping around stuff? You don't belong there. You are a guest. And it's weird wording where it's like, Oh, my husband's house, but you're married. So like you moved in with him where it's therefore like, yeah, you could have a prenup where he retained his house if you got divorced, but upon the loss, upon their death, depending on what a will says, that could very likely be her house. It's not his house anymore.

He's gone. That's what she has. I'm very irate. I'm very irate. And I get, he is grieving too. He has suffered a great loss losing a sibling. I can't even imagine, but you also like that's their partner. Like to go into my, I would never do that.

I would never go to my, my sister-in-law and brother's house after my brother died and be like, Hey, Amy, just borrowing some stuff of mats. What? Yeah. I would ask her, Hey, you know, I really like that sweatshirt of mats. Would you be okay if that's something I have to remember him by? Different story. Have the fucking conversation.

Totally. Okay. I got to calm down over here. I can't breathe out of my nose and I'm like struggling to talk. Huffing and huffing over there. I'm just, I'm so sad for her. I'm surprised I'm not crying to be honest. Geez.

Well, first of all, fuck them kids. I want to know how old they are. I just recently saw something on TikTok that was like, if you don't have kids, you can't say fuck them kids. It's reserved for the parents. I was like, uh, respectfully fuck them kids. But okay. Anyway, um, in this case, no, really, like little shits.

First of all, how old are these little menaces? That's what I want to know. How old are these little menaces? Second of all, I echo everything that you just said, like not your house. Sounds like it's debatable whether it's his house, her house, joint house, whatever the language is there. I sure as shit isn't uncle and kids house. Yeah, that's all I know.

And they shouldn't be in a closet that belonged to somebody who is not no longer around and they were not given explicit permission to go poke around in that closet. I think the whole you should have hit them better is like a classic narcissistic response. Yeah. Passing the blame. Passing the blame. Kind of a little, a little gaslighting situation. I know we toss that around and I know people are like, yeah, that's about it.

But I think that's a really good example of like, you should have done this differently when it's like, actually, no, these gifts were left here for me to find in a space that isn't a public space. That's not the living room. No, it's not the guest bathroom. It's not a closet. It's the closet, which I would assume is inside of the bedroom, which why is anybody was anybody walking around that area?

Can you imagine? I mean, I'm like, I'm kind of blown away that he just felt he was entitled enough to walk into her room and go and hit the closet. Yeah, it's absolutely inappropriate. Like you made a good point. This is now effectively her house. And even if the law doesn't say that or the will doesn't say that, like, let's all just respect the boundary of that's her, the space that she's been occupying with

her now past husband. So respect the fact that that bedroom and that closet is probably a sacred space. That she doesn't really welcome, you know, foot traffic in at the moment. Like there is a lot of that remembrance and a lot of obviously the presence there. Like there's so many things that she probably wants to keep to herself right now. I just don't think it's appropriate to be poking around and somebody's like, I wouldn't go. I always respect like private spaces like that, like the main bedrooms. Like I wouldn't.

There's something about it. Maybe it's the way I was raised. Like my mom always taught me to not just like walk into people's bedrooms. Oh, I'm the same way. Yeah, I'm the same exact way to like be invited into the bedroom or like if someone's, you don't just go in, I don't know. It is really weird because like even when I go to Minnesota and we stay at Justin's mom's house, she doesn't have any full length mirrors in her house,

which is something that's like a big problem for me because like I need to see a full outfit before I can walk out the door. Yeah. And the only full length mirror is in her closet, which is in her bedroom. And I, I can't go in there because I'm just like, it's, it's her space. Feels weird. Right. Feels weird.

Reading someone's diary. It does. And I'm like, I don't, and like, I don't think she would care, but it is still like it, even in my head, I'm like, I, I just, I don't feel comfortable enough. And like, I think the times I have needed it, she hasn't even been home to where I can ask her. Yeah. It's like Justin being like, oh, it's fine.

Just go in there. I'm like, no. Yeah. No, I'm, I'm with you on that. Like, obviously I live with my friend. And when we're not home, like we don't go into each other's rooms for no reason. Like when, you know, like, unless there's a specific reason I'm going to have a surgery, something that I know she has of mine, or like we ask,

can I run into your room and grab this? That's like an unspoken thing for me. I don't just like go into someone's room. It feels like I'm trespassing. Yeah. Same thing to bring it back. When I was a nanny, I never went into the parents' bedrooms. No, I don't even know what it looks like.

No, unless I have like a very specific reason, unless like they told me to get something there or like the child needed something in there. I didn't go hang out in there. No. It feels, I don't, it feels very invasive. And anyway, back to the story. I was living in nanny for the same family for almost three years. Don't even know what their bedrooms looked like.

Because why would you be in there? It's not, it's not my place. It's not your place. Same thing applies here. I get it. He was your brother, 100% understand that, but that doesn't mean you can just storm into somebody's house and just invade their private spaces. Yeah.

And she's also mourning and those presents, although they were materialistic items, they held so much significant value that cannot be replaced. No, cannot be rebought. It's ruined. It was supposed to be a lasting memory that he intentionally left behind. And that's ruined. You cannot make up for it. Yeah.

Well, and you just don't even know like what, or like where their little notes on each gift in each gift in the box, did they rip it apart when they opened it? Like, yeah, did they break something? Like there's, and now it's like, she has to look at it all as she's fixing it and putting it all back together. Yeah. I just think this is the tackiest fucking distasteful, fucked up little thing that could have happened, struggling to like package it all together.

But it's like, this makes me sick. Yeah. I think she needs space from them. Like, I would hope that they can still have a relationship. I hope especially, you know, losing your husband, like the most losing any family member, I feel like you have to cling to your family a little tighter. You're all kind of grieving and mourning together. So I hope that like, they still can have a relationship.

She can have a relationship with her nephews and things will be okay. But I think it's totally fair for her to ask for them to move out so that she can have her space to herself and properly mourn and kind of like remorn because of these events. Top comment really freaked me out. And like, I just, I'll read it and then we can dissect it a little. So it's the top comment. 20,000 upvotes right now.

A lot of awards. It's got a red box. Actually, I would like to amend my comment. Do not kick your brother in the lot out. Take off work, change the locks, pack all their stuff and put it on the porch and call him to come get his stuff. Also explain once he arrives, that if his family continues to harass you, that you will block all communication streams.

It stops now. Call in sick to work today, if you can. Now, now, now, if he throws a temper tantrum and starts banging on the door, text him, you are making me fear for my life. I'm calling the cops. If you don't leave, do not let him and his kids pack. Your husband's things will be missing and you may be missing some valuables. If you need to call the cops, tell them your late husband's brother is trying to

get into your house and you are scared. Tell them you let him stay for a week, but that he's been causing major issues and you told him he couldn't come back and now he's getting violent. Because if he's, I do agree with that where it's like, and it's not something I really considered before reading this just now, but like, if he's already having the entitlement and the audacity to just like go in her room and like take things like, especially sentimental things like the piano that she knows her husband would not like touched, he is going to clean house.

He's going to take every little thing he feels entitled to that's his brothers. My brother would have wanted me to have this. My brother would have wanted his nephews to have this. I'd be. Yeah. I guess I was only thinking about the presence incident. I was thinking about the other things because originally I'm like, I don't know. Shitty person doesn't equate like criminal.

Yeah. Yeah, that is true, but I do think that's an interesting point. Like there is a sense of entitlement here. And I think entitlement can cloud people's judgment sometimes. Yeah. So I, I half agree with that. I think take the measures to protect yourself and your home and your belongings and your husband's belongings.

Um, so if you have to change the locks and do, do that, but I don't think to go full like, uh, kind of explosive warfare, it kind of goes against what I was saying earlier where I said, I hope they can like retain a relationship. Like I think that you're, you're going to feel very isolated. I think that the family is going to see you as nuclear and you're kind of isolating yourself and you're going to feel very. I don't know. I just, I don't like that approach.

I think it's going very like, um, drastic. I think definitely there are ways to take, take measure. I may be like, you absolutely get them out of the house. Absolutely. I definitely have someone there. I would 1000% change the locks and maybe if you don't want to pack his stuff and put it on the porch, like have someone else there with you while he's packing. Someone from your family.

Yeah. I want to see if there's any comments from OP just to see if like anything they said really triggered that and there's no comments. So yeah, I think that was a little like, it is, it is well, and it's interesting because I went back just now and reread this. Like I got to admit, I wasn't too pleased to have him move in with me, but I had no choice after I got talked into it by family. So it does seem like she's being pressured and also like mother-in-law got involved

and took his side saying he's grieving. And this is his brother's house and that I'm acting unhinged. Yeah. The whole language around that. Well, my voice is just this is guessing. That's gaslighting. Yeah. That is gaslighting.

Which part? The mother-in-law calling her and saying, he's just grieving. This is his brother's house. Yeah. You're acting unhinged. Yeah. I'm going to be honest. Uh, her partner died a month ago.

That sounds like a perfect, perfectly reasonable reaction. It sounds like she didn't even have a reaction. She just said, move out. Yeah. Beyond fair. Yeah. I think, I don't know, this whole, and maybe I take back my statement. Maybe the family's toxic and maybe she doesn't need to retain relationships with

them, but I think it's really hard to judge everybody right now because everyone's in such a volatile and fragile state. Yes. You know, warning, like you said, kind of comes in waves and people aren't themselves when they're super highly emotionally charged. Not to excuse any of the behavior. I do think that that's the mother-in-law was really out of line in my opinion. And I think that everyone's acting a little like, everyone except for OP.

Everyone's acting like a little bit inconsiderate. Yeah. But, um, I hope that when the dust settles and emotions subside, that they can like have a relationship because I think that is part of like, you know, this was a part, they're an extension of him, you know? And so to honor that, you'd hope that they can have a relationship. But if they are truly toxic people and they're going to continue to gaslight her and cross boundaries and make her feel uncomfortable, then sis, maybe it's

time to cut it. Yeah. Well, and like the comments on this one, um, are really crazy. And I think Reddit, like sometimes the comments do jump to conclusions. Yeah. And so you kind of do need to like, slow down a little and like take it with a green assault, but just the comments I'm seeing are like really worried for her. And kind of just highlighting like, not the asshole, the brother-in-law sees

everything of Adams that's tangible as his already. I'm waiting for him to try and move into OP's bed. This guy's scary as hell. And then someone goes, I'm literally thinking this. Yuck. Next comment. Same. Him walking into the bedroom at random times to borrow stuff feels like he's

testing OP's boundaries. I wouldn't be surprised if him replacing Adam as OP's husband in the family plan, given how they're behaving. OP's not the asshole for sure. Which second part of that statement, like that's a little crazy, but I didn't even think about the fact that, that could be a way of him testing boundaries. It's like, let me see how far I can push this. Yeah.

Let me just see how much stuff I can take or how invasive I can be. Because you might be entitled and have like the audacity to go do that and be totally unaware and not have it be like a motive behind it. Yeah. But I don't know. That's interesting. That's where it's hard. It's, I, there's, I don't know.

There are people who are super unaware. Yeah. And just like, don't realize what they're doing. Dude, some people's social awareness is so poor. Exactly. I've had so many experiences lately where I'm like, are you, what? Yeah. Some people have like really lack common courtesy, any type of regard.

Like it's, do you want to know the number one place to see it? Where? The gas pumps at Costco. Why? Sometimes I wonder if it's some people's first day on earth there. Why? So bad, brutal. What about it?

It's a very intricate little system they have. I need to take you there to experience it. Okay. Typically they have three pumps all in a row, 10 pumps down the line. And some people are just like, just wild. Say the first two pumps are full and the third pump is open. They'll pull up to the third one, but then the first two cars leave before they're even out and parked and they'll still park and commit where it's

like, just pull up to the first one. Yeah. Or like, I just, just weird stuff at gas stations I encounter. Okay. I have not encountered that, but I think that that's just a common, not a common, that's, that's, that's, I'm triggered by it. No, no, that's a classic. Like, um, you're, you're truly living in your own world.

Like that's just common. Like a perfect example of somebody who's genuinely like living in their own world, because think about it, pulling up two pumps, really just convenience is the people behind them. Or you, cause then you just get to drive away. You don't have to like, but they're not thinking like that. Like again, you're only, you're not thinking like two steps. I had your only thing in the moment.

What's best for you? And I think that way. Correct. Why can't other people, I mean, if people, I, there's people that trust me. I battle this every single day. Cause I like, I'm a hyper critical, hyper aware person. I'm too aware. I'm too aware.

Like I want dumb bitch energy, like more than anything. Like, what's that saying about that? Just like a dumb bitch energy is like a happy bitch. Cause you just, you can, you can unsee and unknown everything. Like I can't. Ignorance is bliss is one, but there, there's something about like with all the politics and stuff that was coming up. This is literally something we talked about where it's like, don't you wish

you were like, yeah, stupider? Yeah, it's dumb bitch energy. Okay. Don't you wish you had dumb bitch energy? It's like, you just turn off the world and you're just so ignorant to things that you kind of preserve your peace because you're not letting, right. So it's like in a room, like I become aware of the privilege to be a dumb bitch. Exactly.

That's exactly right. Because you're just not aware of the things that are making situations bad. So in that situation, like they're not thinking, oh, in five minutes, it's going to be really easy for me to pull away if I'm in the first spot. And also I'll let these two people behind me have the pumps earlier. They're just like, oh, this pump's here and it's closer and it's convenient. It's, we live in the era of now. Instant gratification.

Instant gratification. A lot of people aren't considerate, truly. That is true. Yeah. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking.

Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learn something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

OK, this took a turn. All right, sorry. What were we talking about? What was that? Where were we? OK, so I have two. They're both kind of the same. I'm going to go with the one that I haven't read.

OK. So I don't even get a choice. Yeah, they're both relating to trips. Like vacations? I'll give you a choice. Am I the asshole for telling my husband he can go on a trip with his sister on his own if he wants to cancel our trip to join theirs? Or am I the asshole for missing my father-in-law's funeral

after my mother-in-law booked my husband first class, but me economy? I want that one. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Uh oh. OK. Uh oh. Uh oh.

I'm honestly. I'll just push it back on. Sorry, guys. I'm going to be the most hated co-host on this entire podcast after this episode. I think you're OK. I'm just like really not doing well. OK, sorry. Me, 31 female and my mother-in-law don't have a close relationship.

She's civil towards me, but can be a bit passive aggressive at times and we tend to disagree often times. We live in a different state, father-in-law passed away suddenly and mother-in-law told me and my husband to come attend the funeral. She booked our tickets to fly to her state, but the issue started when my husband told me that we couldn't sit together in the plane because his mom had booked him a first class ticket while I got economy. I was flabbergasted by this.

I tried asking him why, but he urged me to, quote, suck it up and we'll talk about it later. In that moment, that particular moment, I felt so much humiliation and contempt. I felt like she was treating me as less than even in her hard times. I decided to not go and just go back home. My husband was shocked by my decision to go home and tried to convince me to just go, but I declined. He went alone and I ended up missing the funeral.

He was livid, just calling me and texting nasty things, calling me petty and spoiled. He said that I should be grateful his mom paid for my ticket to begin with. Then she said she doesn't owe me a goddamn thing. I argued about how she could have just booked us both in economy if money was an issue. But he called me pathetic for thinking about it when his dad just died. He said it was cruel what I did and that his mom and family will never forget that I missed the funeral over ridiculous reasons. Am I the asshole for going home over this?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you think so too, to be honest. Yeah, I think this is a very. This isn't an easy situation to land judgment on. Why? It's just like very shitty. But I think overall, yeah, you get to go first this time. Thank you so much. I'm so delighted.

Let me put you on the spot because this one's really hard. This one's is it? She missed a funeral. Yeah, what is so bad about that? Like, OK, yeah, I'm not. No, she should have gone. She absolutely should have gone. OK, so then what are you what's the angle that you're taking?

I just I'm like very confused. I'm confused too. I'm confused. We're all confused. But there's clearly that was the bottom line is she should have gone. Bottom line should have gone to the funeral. Ask questions later. Later, you can say you can have this conversation of why was I booked on economy? You know, it's not necessarily like I agree.

I'm sorry, my thoughts are all over the place. I agree with the son that she should be grateful because that's not standard. You don't typically like if you go to a funeral that's on your own volition. Yeah, you're paying for your airfare. I have not been to a funeral where someone just buys my ticket unless I was like a minor and it was like my grandpa and my dad was like, you need to come home for a funeral. Yeah, no, it's typically pay your way.

That's different. But when you're a full adult, you know, independent one, she just lost her husband who it sounds like they were still together for quite some time, right? I just I think that I would have bottom line. She's an asshole for not going to the funeral over something so stupid and petty. I mean, obviously the signaling's not great. You don't feel great.

There's there's clearly something in the air. The mother-in-law has something she's sending a message sending a message. But like, let her win, let her win on that day. Right. Okay. Let her win the battle and deal with the war later. Like, I agree. You're convincing me.

Yeah. Like later pull her aside, you know, when the dust has settled, obviously not on funeral day, whatever, pull her aside or talk to your husband and say, Hey, like I felt a little slighted by that. If money was an issue, she could have booked us both an economy, but it felt like a direct slap in the face to be put. And there's nothing wrong with economy. I mean, the average person flies, I fly economy every single time.

Absolutely all I fly. It's all I fly. So it's like, I don't say anything wrong with economy from where I sit. Right. And there's some people where they would rather like, literally dive in fly economy. Like, I get that. But in this situation, I mean, suck it up.

That's my opinion. And then later have the conversation because it does feel like a message was being sent, but she could have, she could have not bought you a ticket. So clearly, like your presence was still wanted. That is true. There could have been a bigger snub. It's still a snub, but it's also like, she could have not bought you a ticket at all. Because really, you don't have to be there.

Right. They have a tense relationship. And I think the mom maybe has a very close relationship with like, we don't know a lot about this relationship here. Sounds like maybe maybe he's a mama's boy. I don't know. Maybe she wanted from her view, right? Think of it as like a mother, which is hard for someone who's not a mother.

I will say that right now. But the mom could have been thinking, you know, my son's been through a lot. He just lost his father. I want to treat him a little bit, give him an upgrade of first class. It's a little shitty that he left his partner. She left his partner out of it, but she might have been just viewing it as like, I'm trying to treat my son. Well, even nicer.

Maybe there was only one first class ticket left. So maybe she tried to buy two and then there was only one seat left. That's where communication is cute. Yeah. Hey, hon, try to book you both in first. There was only one. Do you mind if I put Ryan in first, just lost his dad? I thought it'd be like a nice little experience for him.

If it, you know, it's still kind of like shitty, like read the room. Like most couples would rather fly together. Absolutely. Like if I got upgraded to first class and my partner didn't, I'd personally rather sit next to them on a flight. Me and Justin talked about this actually, because this is like a reality we could have faced and granted we weren't flying to a funeral. But we did talk about that, like where we got put on a point upgrade list thing

to happen. I don't know. It's crazy. And we talked about like, what if one person got upgraded in the other day? And we literally talked about it where like, we would switch off. Like it was a, it was a 12 hour flight. Like you would have got to sleep in the little thing for five hours and then I would have got to sleep. That's a fair, that's a fair.

It just depends on how long the flight was. It's a long flight. We want to do that. And also for you, that was an experience. Like it's not something that you could do all the time. So it was like, well, let's not throw this experience away. Let's both share it. Yeah.

I think that's totally fair. Yeah. But this it's like, but if it's like a two hour flight, if it's a flight to Minnesota and I got upgraded to first class and my partner didn't, I'd be like, honestly, I'd rather sit with you for three hours than. So that is like where I'm like, there is a comment from OP, an edit.

There's no comments from OP responding to people, but the edit goes, one of the reasons I didn't settle for the economy ticket was because I wanted to sit next to my husband and support him. He sobbed the whole ride to the airport and I didn't want to leave his side. I was shocked when he told me we couldn't sit together and how he said it. Like he had no issue with it, which I kind of contradicts itself. Like I didn't want to leave his side, but I was okay going home and not going to the funeral, but I left his side, but I left his side.

So I'm like, yeah, it definitely was a pride thing in the moment where like you did feel snubbed and you, you let your pride win over supporting your partner. But it's also like, why didn't he in that moment be like, Hey, you know what? Is there any way you can like downgrade my seat and give us a flight voucher or a gift card or whatever. But I get being like in that moment where like, you're just like, I just want to get on the plane. I just want to be there.

My fucking dad died. This shouldn't be difficult. Yeah. I think I would snap. I'd be like, why are you making this a thing? Yeah. My dad just died. You fucking take first class.

Here you go. We'll switch. Yeah. Stop it. Like I, at that point I would be numb and something like a silly and trivial as a first class ticket isn't going to make a difference to me. Yeah. That's just me.

So I don't know. I just think this whole situation is so petty. And I honestly think OP the, the wife is going to kick herself for a long time. You don't miss funerals. That is one thing I had a teacher in grad school. Tell me this, cause one of my best friends from high school lost her baby. He died completely randomly. And it was a case of medical malpractice.

She's still like dealing with swimming in the hospital. And I had this teacher where I broke down crying. I was like, I don't know what to do. Like I, we have this presentation on Monday and like the funerals Monday. Like what do I do? And she sat me down and she's like, you know what, don't worry about this exam. You can take it whenever you get back. I'm not worried about it.

Go. She's like, there's one thing in life that you don't miss and that you will regret. Yeah. And it's funerals and weddings. Really weddings. Yeah. She lumped that into and ended up missing the funeral because I had a different teacher that wasn't accommodating and literally it was so fucking heartbreaking.

It was the biggest joke of a presentation that I didn't need to be there for and could have zoomed in. And I like emailed Thursday, emailed Friday, emailed all weekend. I landed in LAX because I was like, I can't get kicked out of my doctorate grad program because of this for a funeral. Like as important as it is to be there and support my one of my best friends. I can't. Yeah.

And as I touched down on the tarmac at LAX, took airplane mode off, email. Yeah. Well, I guess you can miss it and zoom in. Oh my God. And I'm like, you fucking bitch. I'd be so scared. I emailed you so many times. Like if you're a teacher, be fucking accommodating.

We're human. We're human. We're human. And in life, it's funny because they frame it as we're preparing you for the real world. Really? The real world has been a lot. No one's ever asked me in the real world for a doctor's note or a death certificate. If I say I'm out of office today because I'm dealing with the family

origins of your death, everyone leaves me at that. That's it. So this whole bullshit thing of like, we're preparing you for the real world. I get it. There needs to be boundaries. Kids need structure, but like that was a little much. I remember having a teacher asking for a death certificate. And it's like, how insensitive, so rude, right?

It was just, it's not like if you're using that excuse every other week. Okay, fine. Maybe you need to start like having some backup. But yeah, yeah, to me, it's like this whole like, we're preparing. No, you're not. No, you're not. You're just being cynical. We also nowadays, I think, especially with, you know, the queer community, we all

have very different definitions of family these days. And I think asking someone for a death certificate is the most insensitive, like callous, heartless thing you could ever do. Because also like, I might attend the funeral for my best friend's dad, right, who grew up, I was grew up so close with him. And you're going to ask the family for a death certificate? What? Yeah, they're grieving, but hey, hold on.

Can I get a screenshot of that death? Like, what the fuck? Who does that? Exactly. That's a bother me. I honestly took the L. I took a hit on my grade because although it was for a real legitimate issue, I was like, I'm not going to ask for a death certificate.

I'll take the percentage hit, like teach me a lesson, I guess. No, and like, you can't even like a lot of times people are like, oh, can you send the obituary if like, not the death certificate with the obituary, but like, people don't really do obituaries nowadays. We don't publish newspapers the way we do. No, and my great aunt just died in September and that's the funeral I went to in Arizona and I was wondering about the obituary and it's really sad. She requested not to have one because she outlived everybody in her life.

Oh, fuck. She's like, nobody cares. Like she was just like, the only people who need to know are like my immediate family members, that's you guys. Oh God, that's really. She was just like, no one's going to know. Like that's what was really sad too. She was like really ready to die because she outlived.

She was like 95, right? 92, 93, outlived her entire family, immediate, everything, all of her friends. Like she only had like her, a couple nephews and their kids. Like that was it. Anyway, so back to your point, people don't even do obituaries anymore. I know. Don't ask for shit like that. Just honestly, there's nothing like, the world is going to keep on spinning.

Capitalism is going to keep on popping off. I don't know. I also think there's something to be said about like, if a kid can navigate grief and all these unforeseen circumstances and still like deliver and do really well on a test, like that should just be enough. Like why are you making them go out of their way to like prove that they experienced a tragedy? They still have to take the same test. Right, exactly.

It's the same test. They're still taking the same thing. Maybe they bought a weekend, but like, I don't know. I think if it is repetitive and again, we're not teachers. We're not coming out teachers. Like we both, Morgan and I like loved, we're like academics at heart. Like we love school. We love learning, love teachers so much respect.

But I just think that it's a little archaic in the sense of like this whole holding you to like doctor's notes and things like that. It's weird. It's a little bit trivial to me. You know, and the world has changed so much. And I understand if it's a pattern like same kid, grandma can only die four times. You only have four grandmas or like there's always a family emergency right before an exam. You start to pick up a pattern here.

Talk about that. Well, and then it's like, hey, I'm not going to let you take the exam late, but you can come in and take it early. Yeah, that's true. That's a good one. There's other, there's other means to that. Sometimes it's hard because if the exam's like tomorrow, it's like, Hey, but someone just died tonight.

What are you going to do? But I get it. I mean, it was always tricky. I always felt like that was so tricky growing up. I know. But honestly, that's why I think it's changed. The world has changed. I think that's why our generation is so like burnout because we would work through everything

because we were going to take a hit. Well, and that's what I mean. It's like, everything's gonna, like the world is going to keep on turning. And so it's like, if it's, if you're not going to give me one day, I don't want to be in this place. I don't want to be at this job. If you're not going to give me one day and respect me and my loss or my life and like, even if you are fucking lying, like don't lie about your grandma dying

because that's putting bad juju out there. I agree. But if you are lying and someone gives you a hard time about it and you haven't pulled that excuse, but you just need a day, you should be able to take a day for yourself and not have to go to such extreme measures. And that's where like, we don't really focus on mental health in our society and we need to. Yeah, like a mental health day, that should be the excuse. You should get five of them a year.

Yes, I need a mental health day. You've given me two weeks of them a year. Like the fact in America that we only have two weeks of PTO, you have to work 300 and Don't even look at me. I can't do it once. 31. There's 365 days in a year minus 14. Well, no, it's technically only 10 because two weeks is really only Monday through Friday.

10 business days. It's five and five. Yeah. So you have to. Okay. We're not. I'm just 52 weeks a year, five days a week. You're really going to.

I want to do this math because I want to prove to myself, I can do it mostly. So 52 weeks times five days a week, 260 days, and you only get 10 off. So you're grinding for 250 days. And also like weekends, you get done with work Friday at five. I know. There's already one day. So you basically only get Saturday because Sunday night, you're prepping for work.

It's bullshit. We need to make four day work weeks a thing. I know. I want to be like France where they take August off. I love France. I want to just be a French woman. Back to this one. Okay.

Top comment on it was everyone sucks here. The seat issue was more important than supporting your husband after the death of his father. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I do agree too. That's just something where you look back and you're like, I let a stupid little tantrum take away from a very important day that was not about me. That's a moment where it's like, today's not about you. It's not even remotely about you.

It's not even a little bit about you. It's just not about you. So sit your fucking ass on your economy seat that you didn't pay for. Put a little smile on your face and show up to the funeral and show face and show support and go cry about it later. Like you can have this conversation later. And the next comment kind of picks off like exactly what you just said. This is exactly the point.

Obviously mother-in-law is an asshole for her actions. They were uncalled for and petty. But you made your husband go to his father's funeral without the support of his spouse. And you did this over a first-class seat. You played right into your mother-in-law's hands and may have caused irreparable damage to your marriage. Yeah. Mother-in-law might be-

She might have set a trap. She might have set a fucking trap. She might have banned booze older. Exactly, like life is full of people testing you and people being shitty. You can't make like that quote. You can't make people do right by you. So if mother-in-law has a bone to pick with you and she's out to get you an ABC, this, that and the other

and she's wanting you to fail. She's committed to you failing. Yeah. That's on her. But don't give it. Don't give her the ammo. Don't give her the ammo. You be a good person.

Like now you're shittier. No one even cares that mother-in-law bought you economy and her son first class because now everyone's just focused on the fact that you- You're not there. Didn't go to the funeral over a stupid flight seat. Bottom line. Right. Like you lose.

You outshined her in the asshole game. She's literally singing that Nicki Minaj song. I win. You lose. You lose. Literally. It's- But like-

This was probably so calculated. Right. And even if it wasn't though, it's like let her be an asshole. Let her make a fool of herself. Just be a good person. Do what you- Focus on what you can control. Yeah.

And what you can control is showing up, showing support for your husband and being there. It doesn't matter if you're on economy or first like you're getting there and you're showing up. Yeah. Well and so the next comment like it kind of goes like these people kind of pop off and so someone goes I agree everyone sucks here but I'm including significant other in this. There's no reason he couldn't go support his mom and support his wife by just dot-to-dot sitting in economy with OP. Which we did touch on but again like in the moment at the airport

he just and knowing the context of the fact he cried all the way to the airport. This man is distraught. He's frazzled. He's frazzled. He's distraught. He's like I don't give a fuck about the seat. Let's just get on this fucking plane. I don't want to talk to one more person.

My dad died. Also there's a lot of assumptions here. We're assuming a lot. No not not even you like the the commenter like how do you know that was even an option. Maybe economy was sold out. This is yeah. Maybe they got to the airport too late and no changes could be made anymore. Maybe they found out that mother-in-law overpaid a thousand dollars to get him in first class.

You're just going to flush that down the drain like out of guilt. I'd be like no I have to sit in first class. Like my mom sent a lot of money on this even though she's being an asshole. I don't know. There's just a lot of assumptions tied to that. Like oh he could have just sat in economy with his wife. Could he or maybe there's no seat there were no two seats next to each other. So it's like yeah I can sit in economy by myself to prove a point.

Well and that is something to be said like if this was a last minute flight maybe she truly just was buying the seats available. Maybe there were two seats left available in this whole aircraft. I'm going to give the first class ticket to my son who lost his dad versus put his wife in that seat out of the two seats available. So that's that could be a reality. And so the comment that comment that everyone sucks but I'm including a significant other that had 5,000 upvotes.

Someone responds back and goes he didn't go to support his mom. He went because his father died. Yeah. He didn't need to support his wife. His wife needed to support him because again his father died and OP failed miserably at a time where what she needed to do was incredibly obvious. Suck it up buttercup. Yeah that's tough.

I literally like my dad likes to joke about like the fact he's outlived his dad's age and every time he brings up him dying I bawl. So like I just can't even. Yeah I can't even. I just that that's like a that to me is like princess tantrum. It is you know. It's just shitty. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking.

I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays and lighters. I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying. Learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it so can you.

For free and confidential help call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC. But we're going to end on a lighthearted happier note than all of these. So this one is titled my wife got sick and couldn't visit her late husband's grave for his death anniversary so I went and visited instead. He passed away from cancer four years ago. My wife and I have been together for two years, married for six months. Every year she'd visit his grave and leave flowers on it. It only takes 30 minutes or so for her to visit him and remember him and pay her respect.

I never asked to go with her but this year she got sick for a few days and couldn't go visit him on his anniversary and do the things she'd normally do. So what I did was purchase some flowers and drive to the cemetery and leave the flowers there and take a picture after praying and then I went home. I'm going to cry. In the evening my wife seemed sad and distant. I asked her what was the matter and she ranted to me about how she couldn't visit her late husband on his fourth anniversary.

She said that it felt wrong for her to miss one of the very few visits to his grave like this to express her heartfelt gratitude for him. I told her that I already took care of that and showed her the picture I took of his grave with flowers on it. She couldn't believe it at first and started apologizing saying I didn't have to do this but I reassured her that her late husband was a good man to both of us and although I never met him he helped her while she struggled with health issues and if it wasn't for him she might not have been here with me today and so I have all the respect for him and visiting and bringing flowers is the least I could do

to express both my wife's and my gratitude for what he has done. For some reason she started crying and I stepped out to give her some space. Next morning she was more energetic and cheerful. I'm happy to see as if she had heavy weight lifted off her shoulders and I hope that she can see that she doesn't have to be apologetic for remembering her late husband or mentioning him in front of me. I'd want her to open up to me more about him and share her grief with me though I get she needs to have her own moments sometimes

but I just want her to understand that she's not doing anything wrong. You said happy. And what is like how many stories have we had on this podcast where people remarry and their new spouse is competing with a fucking ghost. Yeah that's so true. To hear this man like truly like I love him because he loved her. She wouldn't be here without him and I owe him that respect, that graciousness, that like I don't like just amazing.

Yeah honor. I honestly think that I wish more people had that perspective in life without the passing of someone like we tend to get so contentious and jealous of exes when in reality like let's say you marry your partner and it's like no need to get jealous or insecure about people from their past anymore. If anything it's like honor the role that they played in helping shape this person to become the person that they are now that you got to marry. Absolutely.

Like I think of that way with like all of my exes is like I've you know I have a good relationship with my like most recent ex like we're still friends we still have a lot of respect for each other and I even told him like my door's always open and the next person because he said like I don't know if I want to reach out and I never know if you're dating someone I want to be respectful and I was like I respect that but whoever I date next has to be okay with me having a relationship with you. Obviously it's within within reason it's it's respectful and it's not you obviously sleeping at his house or like crossing a fair boundary or whatever but like no but having the friendship

and having like a platonic like open communication situation in which I aim to have with anyone who I've dated because that's a part of your story they're a chapter and you know there's certain people that don't need a chapter to be revisited and we know who that person is but like some chapters should just be control all delete you know get rid of those but like for the most part your exes and people that you have relationships within your life not just in a romantic like let's talk about friendships too like they form they help form you into the person that you are and this person that you are when you meet your partner whoever that is like they should honor your past and they should honor the people and I mean of course

there's always circumstances where maybe like they're shitty people whatever but like in this case like that's so beautiful and I wish that we saw more of that because it's really the it's completely true like what why wouldn't you have anything but like love and admiration for this person who like helped your wife when you weren't there yet. Yeah it's amazing it's it's just crazy that like when you hear a story like this and so many of the other stories have been like similar like we all like they've had partners that have loved them that have gotten them to that point and yet like you still have the fucking crazy new spouse or the spouse that is mad it's just like it's it's a baffling that more people don't act like this guy and so it's just I thought

it was really beautiful. No it is beautiful I love that I love that stuff like being able to just put your in like I want to say put your pride aside but it sounds like this guy didn't even have pride to begin with. No. Like it wasn't like oh I sucked it up for the day. No it wasn't fake. He wasn't doing it just for show. No. He wasn't doing it to like win brownie points for his wife. No. He truly cares about her saw how sad she was that she wouldn't be able to go and wanted to do something that like was like almost as much for him as it was for her. Yeah. It's interesting the way he talks about it but it's so refreshing and just beautiful. Yeah no it's it's incredibly beautiful it made me very sad. Yeah that's all I got for

y'all this episode. It's not funny. Not funny haha funny weird. How did you come across that TikTok sound again? I don't know I just it's been like rattling in my head for a couple of days especially like I've just been way too busy and like the mental breakdown one keeps coming up which is probably a sign like just take a nap Morgan. Take a nap. But I'm I always get really burned up before the holidays because it's like yeah traveling home to Minnesota well and we travel back and so traveling always throws me for a loop I always fall really behind when I travel yeah and so it stresses me out. That's normal that's why I had minty bees because I was traveling so much. Oh god I don't know how you did it. I don't know how I did either. And I want to travel

but I want to travel for me and not fall behind on the podcast. But even traveling for you like it's different for everyone but I think there's a balance and when you are committed to a lifestyle that or like a in your case like a career that requires you to be like a little grounded. Yeah that constant travel causes more chaos and stress than it does anything else. I know just throws you off your game. It is challenging but it'll be good we got a new year coming up soon which I'm excited there's just a lot of good changes like I feel like I'm finally getting my health in order except for my hip which is really sketching me out but I got my thyroid figured out. That's really good. So that's a big step. That's a huge step. I would coming from a girl who's got the hip thing

that can be figured out. Thyroid's trickier. Unless it's bone cancer. It's not bone cancer. I'm a hypochondriac it's really bad. Okay well go get an MRI with contrast and put your help. MRI. I know. I gotta make an appointment. I actually have to make an appointment with a radiologist already to get my thyroid ultrasound in because. They can do that. Yeah. Does that standard? To ultrasound your thyroid. Yeah. Yeah. It's just it's very like it's almost superficial here in the front of your neck. Huh. So my mom had hers removed because of so many nodules and like thyroid cancer. So the lady I went to she's like yeah it's a little enlarged. Oh. Let's go get an ultrasound. Yeah I would prioritize that. Yeah so still not totally good on the health stuff

but making progress. Making progress. That's positive and lots of fun exciting stuff coming up. We've mentioned it our live show. December 2nd and 4th. Yeah two separate shows. So don't get confused. There's two separate options. A live in person in LA on the 2nd which is a Friday and then the Sunday virtual show. So two options. Pick what works for you. Yeah. But they're both going to be really good. They're both going to be really good. The stories I have are unhinged. You already have all of them? No no no it's I compile until the day of because I pick the best. Yeah. But this one in the cut. Yeah. Thousand percent. Wow. Thousand percent. It is better depending on what way you look at it because it could technically be worse but it is better

slash worse than the siblings I found out they were dating. I knew what you were talking about for the Minnesota live show. I'm like I'm I'm like ready for the live show to be here because it will be here in a flash because so Morgan and I are traveling to Minnesota this week for a wedding. Fun fun fun. We get to whip out our our coats and whatnot. I still don't have a dress. What are we going to do? I don't know. Okay. That's a problem for tomorrow. And then we get back and it's like Thanksgiving pretty much the next week is Thanksgiving. I'm also flying to Minnesota for that. Okay. Well they got that. Why? I wanted to go to a Vikings football game. What? Fun fact I've never been to a Vikings football game.

In my entire life. Do you want to go Christmas Eve? Yeah. I'd love to. Yeah. Is that a real invite? Yeah. We're trying to put a group together. I'd love to. Yeah. I love the Viking game. Christmas Eve is tough though because of my family kind of like really does. Is it a day? Is it a day game? I think it's at four p.m. Oh that's tough. Let me figure that out. We'll look at the schedule. But I would I would really like to go to one. I've never been. Oh my god. Yeah. We'll figure it out. Yeah. They're doing pretty good this year. And then it's you know Thanksgiving whatever. And then it's a live show. And then. And then another live show. And then. And then I go back to Minnesota. And then you

probably do shortly after. Yeah. And then it's the holidays. And then it's new year. But we're it sounds like we're complaining. And I don't know. No. No. No. No. No. I don't want to come across that way. No. We're like we're booked and busy in a good way. No. All thanks to you guys and you guys being here and the holiday season is coming. And I just like have really been like reveling in everything. Like I don't know if that's the right word. But I went down a rabbit hole last week of like wow. Wow. Like what is my life. And how did I get here. And wow am I so appreciative. Like I literally cried last week for two days because of like I just like felt so overwhelmed with gratitude that I can't really like cry. Yeah. With gratitude that I can't really

like it's like if you get me a gift I can thank you appropriately. But for all the listeners out there I can't really thank them. Yeah you can. But right now. Stop it. This allergy medicine is making me sick and crazy. Yeah you sound very stuffy. I'm so stuffy. I think you just thank them with. Say thank you. All right Morgan says thank you to everyone. Thanks guys. Love you all. I didn't even cry during the husband story. Now I'm crying about saying thank you. I'm a fucking train wreck. Morgan and I are such a funny duo because I literally never cry ever. I've cried like twice in our friendship and then Morgan cries like a lot and that's okay. Yeah. That's okay. We're just we're very different in that aspect and neither one is right or wrong. But it's just so funny to see

us together because it's we're the most polar like all my friends the most polar. So it's always funny when we're sitting here and I'm just like they're there. This is a Gemini in us. You're literally Gemini. Pisces. Yeah. And it's so classic. Like doesn't it make so much sense? Gemini is like actually really heavy in my chart. Oh is it? What do you have? My big three are Pisces. Uh-huh. Then what? Sagittarius. Which one? Rising or a moon? What's the one that you actually are at heart? Your moon? Rising is what you like portray to others? Yes. Yes. I'm a Sagittarius. I don't know. Add me on co-star. I'm a Sag whatever. Rising. And then Gemini moon. Gemini moon. Which is like what you actually feel inside. That's like just interesting.

Interesting because Gemini's are not emotional. They're very... It's the Pisces. It just like fucking bled into it. Pisces that that tracks. Yeah. But it's a beautiful thing. I wish I cried more so I appreciate you. No, it makes I'm already congested and then when you cry your tear ducts just say fuck you and congest you more. I feel for you because I can tell that you're getting more congested. That's so bad dude. I'm going to go take a hot shower. Yeah. Love you all and thank you. Thank you so much for being here. The show at this point where 90 episodes in and we... Oh my god. Whoa. Yeah. We would not be doing this still if it weren't for you guys. So it is truly your support and you guys are the reason the show still exists. So thank you. Absolutely. We love

you guys more than you know and I really mean that. I know. I do too. I just like want to hug everyone. That's why I get so sad about it. I'm like I can't say thank you. Yeah. Some of the best... I get overwhelmed sometimes and I can't even read some of the messages that I get because they're so overwhelming and I'm sure you feel the same way. I know. I had a breakdown and on the... I shared an episode. It was like titled the best of father knows something and like everyone left me the most kind messages and I need to go back and personally respond to every single one. But I started reading them and I just like I lost my marbles. I know. And like when I like decompose I'm like I'm crying like it is a cry fest. Yeah. So it's okay. It's good. That's good. Yeah. I think

that is showing your appreciation. Yeah. Removed. I need to show you when I got it was so sad. But until next time guys. Bye. Bye. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th. You can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stop by the home improvement store and finally build that tree house. You promised your daughter. Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Hear that? That's the sound of the 2023 Chevy Silverado's turbo

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