Two Hot Takes - 94: Bad Daddies..

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Justin and Dad Jerry! These stories all have to do with a dad who just doesn't seem to get it. These guys are setting the bar so so low. What are your thoughts on these stories? Reddit Recap!! Checkout your personalized REDDIT RECAP now with this link: https://reddit.app.link/RecapShare?content_id=TwoHotTakesPod Comment if you'll be going to the moon with me! #RedditRecap #RedditPartner LIVE SHOW TICKETS UNTIL DECEMBER 20th!!! December 4th online intimate virtual show with Moment: https://www.moment.co/THT !!! Patreon for bonus content:  https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: HelloFresh: HelloFresh.com/tht18 Promo Code: tht18 NextEvo: Nextevo.com/podcast  Promo Code: THT Storyworth: Storyworth.com/tht

What's up everybody? I'm Mike Wilson with Any Hour Services and if you've been thinking about replacing your old water heater, Any Hour Services is here to help and save you some money. Whether you're looking for a new tanked water heater or you want to see what upgrading to a tankless would cost, the plumbers at Any Hour Services can show you what options are available and right now you can save $400 on a tanked water heater or $1,200 on a tankless. Call Any Hour Services and schedule a free estimate today. Google Any Hour Services or schedule online at AnyHourServices.com. No one helps more homeowners than Any Hour Services. From this point forward, I will only accept Astronaut Morgan because thanks to my 2022 Reddit recap, I found out that I could

have gone to the moon 25 times with how much time I spent scrolling on Reddit. And if you're like, I don't know how much time that really is. Well, if you're more of a distance person, I scrolled 9,024 bananas. I'm not sure if that's a six-inch banana and eight-inch banana, but that's a lot of bananas either way. And I don't think it's a surprise to any of you of which subreddits I spent the most time on with 740 hours. A-I-T-A takes the cake. And it's so cute because it just shows how big our community is getting and how much we're growing because the Two Hot Takes subreddit grew 773% this year. And I think my favorite, favorite part about this Reddit recap is they came out with your secret Reddit ability. And so it's like this little

player car that really tells you who you are and what you're about. And mine is provocative insight. Your best ideas gain 50-plus chance of becoming unpopular opinions, which we find that out the hard way every week on this podcast. And I just think it's so fitting and just shows how much Reddit does really know little me. If you want to check out your own 2022 Reddit recap, I highly recommend you do. It is so, so cool to see where you spent a lot of your time this year on Reddit and as a little Redditor. So go on over to your Reddit recap now. The link is in this show's description. Oh, you're ready now? I am. Wow. It's been a long time since I have recorded this, one of these in the studio. I know you haven't been on in quite some time. Been a long time. I mean,

we had the spooky episode, but god damn. Is that the last time you were on? Yeah. That was October. Yeah. You missed a whole month. And I did the live show. Yeah, you did. But my peeps know I'm here. Okay. Yeah. We have not only Justin joining us today, but we have my dad, Jerry. Hi, everybody. And we have also- That's just a creepy panda. Why did they make the eyes like that though? I don't know. It is a very scary panda. I- Oh, he's gone. I believe my sister-in-law won that at the holiday party we were invited to from Spotify. But I don't know if it can live here forever. It's- I actually thought- I thought he was kind of cute that way. He kind of looked up and said-

Yeah, his little eyes. He's got like chucky eyes. He does have chucky eyes. Just kind of scary. And he kind of like nods his head. Bob says- The dinosaur I won was way cuter, but it's okay. It's okay. But we've had a busy December so far already. We had two live shows and one of which, the moment live show, you kind of traumatized me. Me? Yeah. And how did I traumatize you? So we had a story during that live show about a young man who was writing in talking about how he accidentally dated his father for four months. Yeah. That was a scary- That was really a- That was a tough story. It was a tough story. And so we get to the end of his original post and he goes, please feel free to make dark humor comments about this.

It's the way I cope. So, you know, feel free to make dark jokes. And you did not hold back. And you made it a comment. You're like, you know, he was dating. He had daddy issues and he found his daddy. And- But I quickly came back into earth with the levity of the problem. You did. You definitely did. But- I couldn't resist it. You still scarred me a little bit because you're someone who constantly asks, why don't you call me daddy anymore? Because I thought it was so cute when you were young. I used to love when you would say, daddy. And it was just so sweet. And it was- Daddy has been ruined and you did it to yourself even more so. Can never come back now.

Well, it's over with now. It's done. It is. If you want to see this cringy moment, it still is available on moment to watch for like the next week. But I did post a decent size, like 15 minute preview of the live show on the YouTube channel. So- Check that out. And that made the 15 minute preview. Sure did. Sure did. I am sure that you will put them on Twitter or wherever else you go with this stuff to give quick snippets. Yeah, yeah, maybe. But so it brought up this theme and it's something I've

been kind of building a folder for a while now, but it's titled Bad Daddy's Question Mark. Okay. Some of them, you know, they're kind of a fine line of are they bad or is it just me that thinks they're bad? So you two get to give your takes and we'll see. Okay. Well, I've certainly know that we have been reading a lot of stuff lately. And I see what these fathers have, some of the fathers, at least, you know, for father knows and some of the writers- Oh, you're already plugging your show off to the- We're five minutes in and you just couldn't hold back.

Well- Self plug. Okay. Take the plug. There you go. I'm just messing with you. But, you know, we were reading the other night some of this stuff and it is so real on some of the dynamics and drama that goes on in families that, you know, we have no idea, never experienced, but it's really out there and it's sad. There are some people that really have parental units that, you know, don't belong on this,

at least around this universe that I know of that can really be launched. There are some truly bad parents. There he is. But let's dive in. I'm here. Let's go. Okay. So, although the theme is bad dad, bad daddy is whatever, I don't know, whatever it ends up getting called. I did want to showcase your show, so you did beat me to the punch, but we're taking the week off on December 26th and if you don't have something to watch,

head over to Father Knows Something because there's some great listener write-ins that really could use your advice and I stole one of your stories for my show. Okay. Well, it's a little different dynamic than am I the asshole type of stuff? It is, but they'll get a good taste with this next story. Okay. Okay. So, this is from Father Knows Something starts off, hi to the Father Knows Something crew. I, 31 female, am struggling with some emotions right now and I don't know how to feel.

I would love a fatherly perspective. I just got married on Monday to my fiance, 34 male, of seven years. I've been so excited in planning this wedding for what feels like forever. I had tons of DIY projects, but of course, with food, venue, photography, etc., it still ended up being very expensive for us. Still, I felt like it was worth it for one day of true joy and we both worked extra hours to pay for everything ourselves, so we wouldn't have to ask for money from our families. However, my family is very religious.

I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household, but have since stepped away from that lifestyle. My now husband is, refreshingly, not religious at all. So, of course, they disapproved. This is partly the reason we waited so long to actually get married. I've spent so much time talking them through everything and felt that we had reached an agreement. They knew our wedding would not be a religious one and that we would have alcohol and secular music.

My dad was willing to walk me down the aisle and verbally affirmed the wedding and welcomed my husband into the family. So, I felt safe to finally move forward with a formal wedding. So, wedding day comes. We had a short ceremony and planned a more involved reception, with drinks, dancing games, fun speeches, and great food from our favorite food truck. As we made our entrance into the reception, I was so happy to see how beautiful everything had turned out.

Everyone seemed happy and excited for us. Everyone except my parents, who were just sulking alone at their table. This should have tipped me off that something was brewing, but honestly, I just wanted to ignore them and enjoy our day. I had just sat down to eat. We were the first ones to get our food. The other guests had just started lining up. When I noticed my mom and dad taking down decorations,

like pulling centerpieces off of tables, removing place settings, taking down floral arrangements on the serving tables. Right in the middle of all this. Right in the middle of everything. That type of thing. So I paused to go ask my mom why they were taking things down. She waved me off that they were just tidying.

I told her to stop. I hired people to do the teardown when it was time. She said okay and hurried me back to my table to finish eating. I was distracted then with our first dance and a couple of speeches. When I got a chance to really look around again, almost all of the decor was gone. Guests started leaving because, well, it was basically an empty room. This was less than an hour into our reception.

My parents disembarked shortly after and we were left with a deserted venue, six loyal guests, no decor or food or snacks, a DJ and alcohol. We made the best of it and had a tiny dance party in the giant empty room that we had rented for many more hours. The DJ and coordinator took pity on us and danced too, so we could get a few pictures. It was still fun, but the rest of the evening's plans,

toasts, games, group dances, and photos were all ruined because everyone felt like they had to leave. I am so upset and disappointed that our expensive wedding was shut down like this. I'm not really sure if it was vindictive or if my mom and dad, who grew up doing church weddings, just felt like it was their job to do the teardown. But the fact that they seemed grumpy and were generally disapproving of our union makes me suspicious.

Am I right to feel wronged here? Should I just let it go or is it worth confronting them? I do have a history of letting my family pretty much treat me like crap and I am struggling now to balance keeping the peace and sticking up for myself. Well, the reality is that thing is over and those people cut it short. I don't understand how the parents were thinking to even why they would do it. I don't know if she's got a better clue into her parents, what their deal is, that they feel they have to literally give everyone the illusion that the party's over.

They wanted to ruin her day. This is insanity. This was purposeful. There's no doubt. I just don't know what these parents were thinking. They were thinking that their daughter decided to leave the faith and they were going to do everything they could to punish her. They might not stand up there and object, but they're sure as shit not going to let her get a happy day.

Well, I mean, if there was a problem, you think there would be a problem when they were conducting the ceremony. Apparently, the father walked her down the aisle, did everything he was supposed to do and everything went smooth in the ceremony. What on earth would have people get up and start doing a tear down while people are getting up to go eat? I mean, this was going on as the people were in line eating. Go to her parents and say, what the fuck were you thinking?

I mean, it's so sad that this happened and she can certainly go call her parents out on it. It's not going to do any good. They already spilt the milk. It really is no different than going to a wedding and dropping the cake. What do you do? And the cake has been dropped. There's no putting it back together.

I don't get why everyone left. I think it's honestly easy. I look at our live show we did in person and I got off the stage and went downstairs to get my purse because we had to get everything out of the green room, like our rehearsal, get ready room or whatever it is. I got off stage. I grabbed a present from a couple that was sitting at the end of the stage

that brought me candy, which thank you guys so much. I don't know if I can say your name, so I'm just thank you for the candy. I've been snacking on it. It's amazing. But by the time I got downstairs, got my purse and came back upstairs, everyone had already kind of left and I'm like, oh my God, I would have said hi to everyone that came after the live show. Like I would have.

But that's like events over. I'm talking like this is mid-reception. So what I'm saying though. People were getting up in line to eat and these people are tearing the shit down as people are in line to get food. But I think it's that crowd mentality. When you see a bunch of people leaving, you're like, oh, I guess it's time.

But I don't get why the first people started. I don't know. You don't go to a wedding and like an hour in think, oh, you know, I'm going to head out. So. There's still alcohol, there's still a DJ. You guys, I know someone personally who this just happened to. I know someone.

And it happened this way? Yeah. So on my sister-in-law, her side, she recently had someone in her family get married and the bride's mom was upset with her daughter and literally went around to the wedding telling people, blah, blah, blah, is acting like a bitch you should leave. She went group by group telling people.

So by the time that the bride got back out to her wedding, everyone was gone. Unbelievable. Well. Gone and they spent, they spent over $35,000 on this wedding and had the same scenario with people gone. So maybe the parents walked around and we're going to people like, it's over, we're tidying up, you can leave whenever. Maybe that would, I guess that would make more sense.

I mean, this is crazy. I mean, I would love to say go file a claims action against your mom to pay for your wedding. I would. And have another party, it's insanity. Judge Judy would definitely pick this up. People's court, they would definitely pick this up. And you might not want to be on TV, but they do pay for everything. I mean, I would definitely say, I don't know how much, look, they ruined your day.

No doubt. And I don't know how much you really want to hold them accountable for it because you might be a bigger person to say, and I'm not telling you to be a bigger person at all. That's not where I'm going, but you might just say, I just don't want to get any more family drama. And I'm just going to wipe this thing off. But they've totally destroyed your wedding.

I mean, people, we have a bottle of wine we bought when you were, I don't know, born. And we talk about your wedding and cracking the bottle of wine and looking, finding the bottle of wine and everything else. But I mean, you, girls wait for this day. Yeah, I would not let this go. I mean, our, our listener, our writer asks, am I right to feel wronged here? Yes. Yeah.

And absolutely. There was even a question like, you know, maybe my mom was trying to be helpful, but like this was this vindictive. But you definitely have that. She definitely has to have a sit down with her mom. Absolutely. Yeah, both parents, I think, you know, the dad was a participant and they're both equally as responsible.

And I think I 1000% believe this was vindictive, especially because of the fact that our bride went up to the mom when she saw her tidying up and cleaning and taking decorations and said, no, stop. We have people that are hired to do this when it's the time. She did. And she continued. She did absolutely right. This is 100% on purpose.

So let's, let's, let's put it this way. What does she do? Let's, let's take a step further. When she goes to her mom and her mom just says, oh, we just thought it was time. And oh, we're so sorry. Now what does she do? They're done. In my eyes, they're done.

I mean, there's not a relationship here. I wouldn't be able to forgive this. I mean, you, you cut your parents off out of your life at this point in time. Yeah. Or do you say, guys, I think you have some accountability. I think you can offer them that chance to remedy this. But I do think it's one of those moments that you're not going to be able to get back. I mean, these people are fundamentalist, good Christians.

They have to do the right thing. What is the right thing for them to do? They're to make their daughter whole. I mean, that's the way you put it. You, you guys got to do the right thing, mom and dad. You tell me what the right thing is. You destroyed my wedding. Yeah.

I'd be curious to see what they say. What is the right thing? And I mean, I would hold them put, put, put the fire right, right to them and let them tell you what the right thing is. And then, and every time they get the wrong answer, you say, really, that's the right thing. Now, I think some, in some churches, they have elders. But I guess the elders of this church would actually say, well, you guys were demonic. You had to be shut down.

Your husband's not a Christian. And you're demonic and you're this and this whole thing. Your parents had, they had an obligation to shut it down. They might even go that far. So. They might. That, that's not the avenue to go. That's not the hold of good.

That's, what do you call it, the rabbit hole? That is not the rabbit hole to go down. Yeah. So something that's different about father knows something is we do ask listeners when they write in an ideal outcome and we ask for additional info. So ideal outcome for her is would be to have my family recognize my feelings and start giving me a little respect instead of continuing to control me and belittle me. Realistically, it probably would be healthier to cut contact with them.

This is what my husband has suggested, because I feel these types of situations keep occurring, but I don't want to overreact either. I will say this. It is absolutely true. You have the control of your destiny in your life and you have to take that control. So if this is the behavior that they're going to do and they're not going to own up to the issue and they're not going to. This is on them.

There is no doubt. Because let's, let's take it a step further. You have children coming or maybe you guys want them. Maybe you don't want them in the future, but if there is going to be children, your parents all of a sudden are going to be an influence on these kids, grandma and grandpa. And you know, you have something to think about protecting your children and what behaviors you're going to find acceptable or not acceptable. And so this is a whole different, this is a much more serious path to go down to wonder,

what are we going to do in that case? And that could be part of your conversation with your parents when you have it. You say, you know, guys, you totally disrespected the most important day of my life that I was going to, you know, celebrate the joining of my, my soul with my, with my soulmate. And with that, we are going to have a family. And you guys are a wild, you guys are, you guys are wild guns. I can't deal with that with my kids. I got to make sure that the consistencies of my beliefs and what I want to do with my children

and raise my children are going to be intact. You already failed that so horribly. How can I even think about involving you guys with this stuff? And answer me that because you can't answer the first question that you were wrong for doing what you did. Yeah. And so until you can get them to own up to that, how can I possibly allow you to be a part of my family in our inner circle?

You failed horribly. And that is something that makes me think even more serious about, you know, the cake that's on the floor. No, an additional info. I have been in therapy for almost a year now dealing with a lot of family baggage. A year ago, I would have viewed this situation as a me problem. And I really am still struggling to know where to draw the line, which that alone makes me believe that she has dealt with a lot of

emotional and psychological abuse from her parents to like, ever question that that's a you problem. It makes me seem like they're going to be the type of people where she's not going to get far on a confrontation. But I would definitely confront them and say, you know what you did, this was really wrong. And I'm not going to have contact with you for X amount of time until you can make it right to me and whatever that is for you.

But a boundary needs to be drawn. Absolutely. I'm with that. I was just trying to think of, I'm curious what the other instances are. And I'm also curious how you can start packing up all this stuff. And not even someone from the venue is like, oh, no, no, no. Like, what are you doing, you crazy ass? Yeah.

It just doesn't make sense. The whole thing didn't make sense to me. I don't know. I think like the bride and groom are very distracted on their wedding day. You have people coming up to you, you are trying to eat after not eating all day. So I can see how it happened. I guess like my advice for anyone in the situation of planning a wedding, having a wedding, whatever, have a day of coordinator.

Even if you don't hire a wedding planner, you should pay for a day of coordinator because they are master, like masterminds of like dealing with uninvited guests, wedding crashers, any drama that comes up. Any last minute problems. Parents that tear down your wedding before each other. Yeah. So like in this situation, if she would have had a coordinator, she could have gone to her coordinator and said,

hey, I just saw my mom tidying up. Can you make sure you keep an eye on her? And the day of coordinator would have then taken control of the situation and like handled it. And there's amazing stories I've read of day of coordinators kicking out wedding crashers and ex-girlfriends and crazy stuff. And someone wore a white dress and the wedding coordinator kicked them out. They deal with everything.

This wasn't tidying up. This was tearing down. Yeah. But obviously there's nothing that can be done now. And this day. Gone. It's gone. It is what it is.

But I think just for knowledge for anyone else out there that may have guests that are terrorists. I have never in my life ever experienced going to an affair where somebody was tearing down the affair at this time where people were getting up to go eat. And go back to my table and my table's gone basically. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I personally. I've never in a million years.

You wonder what you would do in that situation if you would just be like, oh, well, I guess I missed a memo or if you would be like, hey, why are you cleaning up? I don't know. I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have just gone with the flow because you don't want to disrupt anyone's wedding day if that's like what they decided to do. I would have thought I blacked out and I just woke up.

I mean, shit. That was great shit that I was. I didn't even remember drinking it. Oh my God. Maybe it was. What did I miss? God, what's that green stuff? It's you see the magic fairy.

No, I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh my God. Me and Lauren tried it in Prague. Absent. Absent. I've never even heard of it. Oh my God. It's crazy shit.

You like, if you drink it, you like sometimes see this magic green fairy. It's like the absent fairy. Guys, dad has not lived life yet. Apparently I've missed all this stuff. I don't know. It's a thing, but we're moving along. Okay. If you've ever had to deal with a plumbing problem,

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No one helps more homeowners than any hour services. Justin, you love cats, don't you? No, Jake does. Am I the asshole for telling my wife the cat is still her responsibility, even if she is pregnant? My wife, 28, and I, 36, are expecting our first baby. Three years ago, my wife decided she desperately wanted a cat. I hate cats and all animals in the house really, so I was against it.

She wouldn't stop talking about it, so we finally made a deal where she could get a cat, but it was her responsibility and I would have nothing to do with it. She agreed. She stuck to her word and I stuck to mine and mostly ignored the cat. Now she is pregnant and asked me if I can scoop the litter until she gives birth because of the toxoplasmosis. But I looked it up and as long as she wears gloves and washes her hands, she should be good. So I told her, absolutely not.

She wasn't happy, but I reminded her of our agreement when we got the cat. I told her it was her responsibility and if she didn't want to take care of it anymore with the new baby coming, we can get rid of it and find it a new home. She said no and has been scooping the litter. Her sister was over though and saw her doing this and flipped out at me, telling me how dangerous it is, but of course her sister is going to be on her side and overreact. I never wanted the cat, so I don't see how I'm wrong. Am I the asshole?

I think a long time ago I decided that I will not live with cats. I do love when people have cats, it's really fun and they're fun to play with and things like that, but I would never live with a cat and I made that decision a long, long time ago. Interesting. I'm not into the smells like it's a lot of smells. You know when someone has a cat and then also there's they fuck all your shit up. And I'm not into that either. I want nice things that aren't all torn and chewed up because cats are psychos and they go nuts.

I mean, they're fun to hear about, they're fun to watch videos of, they're fun to go visit. But at my house, I don't want the 3 a.m. like running all over because they pop off in the middle of the night. I'm just not into it. I'm curious if you're going to be single tonight. I like cats. I just don't want to live with them. I'm with you, in fact, but let's get back to the story. Well, that's what I was going to do.

I was going to relate it back. All right, go ahead. And so I would not want to live with them. So in this position, I would kind of be in the same place. Oh, you're on his side. Well, just in the sense of like, I'm not a big fan of, oh, let's just get rid of the animal because we're too lazy to take care of it. Which if you realize that, then do that.

Re-home the animal if it's going to have a better, happier chance at, you know, a good life. But if it's just simply like, this is where it gets messy because they got the cat signed up for all the responsibility. Now they can't do it because of, they can't scoop the litter, whatever. So I don't know because I don't, I don't think I'd take on the responsibility because I didn't want them in the first place. I got a question. Yeah.

Oh, I love this one. This is fun. I get to be on this side. I dig it. So dad's digging this concept. Are you ready for it? Yeah. Morgan is pregnant with your baby.

And the cat and she says, look, there's no cat. I love cats. I would totally have a cat. Let's just, hold on, hold on. You have, I mean, tonight you might be single, but right now you're together. She's pregnant. She's carrying your child and you want to protect your child with her. And I mean, it's an obvious answer.

Well, what's the obvious answer? Well, it's a, probably a like wife and mother of your child. It's not a roommate. Well, no, no, no. This roommate? No, this woman. They're married. They're married.

She's carrying his baby. No, no, no. She's carrying his baby. She says, to protect the child, I can catch this disease if I'm doing this stuff. Oh yeah. I would do it. I just wouldn't end up with a cat in the first place. But what if I really wanted one?

We have rats in our new house. We're going to have a barn with horses. There's rats and mice that love grains. Rats, they're big rats. Then I got some shit to think about. Big rats with tails. Hey, it was pretty big. It was a big rat.

It was not good. Cat. Okay. Kill the rat. I missed the husband thing. All right. Like, of course, then step up and do what you have to do. But I was thinking, I was looking at from a roommate perspective where you're like,

I don't want to live with this thing from the get go. So that's your problem. You go figure out your own problem. But if it's your own wife with your own kid, then okay, I feel dumb. We are. But I still love you. Look, I'm that one that wants cats in my life. I've had cats.

I've had my furniture destroyed. We had sweetheart. We love sweetheart. Yeah, she was a good cat. She was the best cat in the world. I'm that cleaning cat boxes. I'm not doing this stuff. I don't need it.

But you're getting away from the point. We're not concerned about us and what the fuck we care about. Right. We're talking about this guy. And is he a bad dad for not cleaning the litter box? You're going to have a lot worse in the litter box, my friend, coming up. So get on with life and be a part of the team and suck it up. Look, I understand it because I've told people that when it comes to where I stay at night,

who's responsible for the coffee? You come to my house, I'll make the coffee in the morning. If I'm at your house, you make the coffee in the morning and I don't punch. But does that relate? It relates this way. When you're with somebody and you say, you're going to do this and you're owning it, he's saying, you promised to own this thing and I would never have to do it. And I'm holding you to it.

And he has been trying to hold that line. But in the case of this, sometimes when it comes to life and health, you're going to have to make some adjustments. And I would say. And it's temporary. Yeah, it's super temporary. She's pregnant for nine months. Well, and this might be from months, four.

We don't even know where they are in the thing, but it's not the end of the day. And just go do it. Yeah. Yeah. So I just wanted to look up what this was really about. It's not, I've heard about it, but it's not something I'm super informed about. So for those that don't know, toxoplasmosis is an infection with a parasite called toxoplasm gondii. People often get the infection from eating undercooked meat.

You can also get it from contact with cat feces. I also wanted to look up how common is it to get. And it basically says here around 65% to 85% of people who are pregnant in the United States have a chance of getting toxoplasmosis. I think this is also why they say you can't eat sushi. And there's one thing that says about 20% of American public is infected with toxoplasmosis. And so it's like, there's all these different stats. It's out there.

It's out there. I'm also seeing that in the United States, it is estimated that 11% of the population, six years and older, has been infected in various places around the world. It has been shown that more than 60% are infected. And then I was like, well, what the fuck does it do to babies? Like why is this such a big concern? Okay. What does it do? Most infected infants do not have symptoms at birth,

but can develop serious symptoms later in life, such as blindness and mental disability. Occasionally infected newborns have serious eye or brain damage at birth. Well, and thinking the way this guy is thinking, making such, he already has some brain issues. So let's decrease the odds. Let's protect this kid as much as we can. I just think it's, you know, you take these calculated risks in life. And some women, you know, there's certain doctors that say,

yes, you can have a glass of wine and you'll be fine. And then there's other women that are like, it's one glass of wine. Why am I even going to take that risk of my child having anything? Correct. It's the same with sushi. You see some pregnant women say, hey, my doctor said I could have a little sushi. And then others are like, absolutely not.

Why would I take that risk? And he's putting her in this position where, yeah, maybe she'll be okay, but if she's not and your baby isn't. Why take the risk? Why take, like, why even? And his, his, his argument is, why are we taking this risk? Let's get rid of the cat. He's just trying to punish her.

He's, he is trying to punish her and teach her a lesson and said, I didn't want the cat. I don't even like animals in the house at all. So I'm gonna teach you a lesson, which is a bit psychotic. Anyone that says they don't like animals. It's kind of weird. I'm getting bad vibes. That's a red flag for me.

I know. Top comment on this one is get a self-cleaning litter box. Then all you have to do is toss, no scooping. True. She really shouldn't be around cat feces while pregnant. Even at the vet clinic where it's literally your job to clean this stuff, we do not allow our pregnant employees to clean the cat boxes. You're the asshole.

There we go. The vet clinic cares more about their employees than this man cares about his pregnant wife. Well, I just can't wait to, to he has a nice little bouncing baby in the house with dirty diapers because he's going to have his hands full. Someone else comments or his baby basically being like he doesn't care about his baby either. And the next person goes, my first thought too, quote, I never wanted the cat. Yeah, that's fine, but he wants the baby, right? Yeah.

He did get voted asshole. There's no comments from OP, no update posted about five days ago. So I'm definitely, he's a bad daddy. OP, this is our present to you. Merry Christmas. Asshole. Absolute asshole. But we got some more.

We got some more. Okay. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is from now until April 4th. You can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where you stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah, when did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See your participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. Okay, so up next. Am I the asshole for asking for a morning off from my baby on the weekends? My wife and I have a six month old baby girl.

She's mostly a stay at home mom. She works two and a half days a week and her sister watches the baby. I work full time and go to school one day a week. We've always had an arrangement where she takes care of the household duties, cooking, cleaning, and now baby care while I happily support her monetarily. Honestly, we are both living our dream life and my wife does an absolutely spectacular job taking care of me and our little one. On the weekends, we share baby duty.

We usually make sure each of us gets our own alone time to do whatever we want. However, our girl has hit a bit of a sleep regression, waking up every two hours. And since my wife breast feeds, she always takes care of the baby full time overnight. She's a light sleeper and unfortunately has insomnia, whereas I am a deep sleeper and wouldn't wake up for the baby crying anyways. Recently, my wife has been asking me to wake up with the baby both days on the weekends so she can get an extra hour of sleep. Baby wakes up around 7 a.m.

I get the baby dressed and take over for that hour. But sometimes I want to be the one that gets to sleep in an extra hour. I brought this up to her and she says while she's happy to let me nap during the day, she really needs that hour because she can't nap like I can. We got into an argument about it and she said I'm being very insensitive when I know she is very exhausted and can't nap during the day and she struggles going back to sleep every time the baby wakes up. But I'm exhausted too.

Work wears me out and school days are long. And I sometimes want that hour in the morning. I don't want to spend my off-time napping. I want to play video games and chill out. I've gotten mixed opinions on who is in the wrong here or if there even is anyone in the wrong. Am I the asshole for asking us to share mornings off for sleep? I would say to be fair, if you both find it difficult and this is becoming a real problem,

take turns, rotate your weeks. Odd weekends, second and fourth week weekend is you. And the third and fifth weekend, if there's a fifth is her or vice versa. You guys need to be able to share this thing totally. And I understand, look, she's up every morning dealing with this thing seven days, five days a week. My first gut feeling was do it on the weekends, suck it up, dude, do it. That.

So you talk about sharing the burden. How are they going to share the burden if she's waking up every two hours at night because of the baby needs to breastfeed? I'm trying to wonder why she's not pumping and letting him wake up and do it. Some people can't pump. Some people don't produce enough while pumping. Because I know when it came to you, we had pumped milk and it was easy. I mean, I would, I had no problem at all.

In fact, I used to love waking up in the night and taking, you know, taking care of you at night when you would cry. I was the first one out, you know, to your room to go change you when you were wet. And I was the first one to attend to you. That was, I was so excited about being, you know, being this new dad. I don't know what his gig is. And I worked and I, and I definitely work. I would get up in the morning.

I was at work at six a.m. I had a factory. I had people, but I was always on it for you. And I never complained about it because I loved it. So that's my first thing is suck it up, dude. Go help your wife. But if in the event that there has to be some kind of compromise every other weekend. I think that's kind of the thing too with kids is you know what you're getting into.

You know, you know what's about to happen. You know, from at least now that we're at the age that we are, all the conversations we have with people who've just had kids or they're two, three, four, they've gone through it all. They're like, yeah, I'm fucking tired. Yeah. I'm exhausted. I was about to say, well, I'm just saying. I know, but we know through like you have this level of expectation and it's here and it's going

to be here and the level exhaustion, like you just can't prepare for it. But you know, at least I know from the people I've talked to, I know what's about to happen. So I enjoy my sleep a lot right now. I'm just taking every minute I can get and I realize that when kids come, it gets very challenging and you both get down to your wits end because you're exhausted, still trying to make money, still trying to do the things, still trying to do regular daily life things, and then you have this whole added element to it. And so I just like, I know what it's like to get that exhausted, but I just mentally,

when I hear cries in the middle of the night, whenever this is going on, I'm just going to know like, okay, this is either my turn or I'm going to do it or whatever we have that's fair and agreed upon and a partnership and being a team. I'm just going to wake up, do what I have to do and like do it. And I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to make a big argument out of it. And I feel like you and I naturally will fall into a better rhythm than this in the sense that we usually like, we'll start a project and we'll both find our roles and we'll knock it out and

we get really good at doing so. So I'm just thinking when it comes to this, we'll have our like plan strategy, whatever you want to call it, and we'll just both be taking one for the team and doing it and like doing what you got to do, because this also at the same time, while you're going through, it probably feels like forever, but it isn't, right? It's temporary to an extent. And so I'm just like from me mentally, I think here, I don't think we'd end up here, but in this situation, if we were at such disarray, I think you just got to sit down and figure out like, okay, what is fair, based on what we both have to do each day and what we both have to, like what our obligations are,

what can we feasibly do and what makes sense for both parties to compromise and both be as happy as we can be. So with this one, what do you think? Do you think he should get up with the baby or do you think he should be able to sleep in? I just think whatever compromise makes the most sense. So if someone's getting up every day of the week, then you should take the whole weekend, like the whole weekend. It's her. And if she's the one that has tired problems napping, she can't nap. Yeah. So I can either. So I would be the one who more would be like, if I can consistently sleep longer, I will take more of the responsibility on all around except for the consistent. You're really good at waking up and going back to sleep or just napping during

the day. And so I feel like we'd find that balance. So with this one, I think he's the biggest asshole. I think he sucks. I'm going to be honest. I look at what she's doing. She's a stay-at-home mom and she's working two and a half days a week. And then her sister watches the baby during that time. And yes, he is working full-time and goes to school one day a week. But I look at it, if she's a stay-at-home mom, as we've talked about, stay-at-home parents do a lot, she's working around the clock. There's no off button for her. So she's not only breastfeeding, but she's also going to work. And then because of this sleep regression, the baby's waking up every two hours. So she's not getting a full night of sleep and she's dealing with insomnia.

And so I think you said, well, if one person is getting up throughout the week or with the baby all the time, then the other person should pick up the slack on the weekend. He is only missing a total of two hours of sleep. And wait a minute, there's even more that pisses me off. Okay. What is the one thing that I hear in all our stories that really makes me crazy and no one's ever asked me this with any of our shows? What? Gaming. I want to do my gaming. Fucker, you are a dad. You're a dad. You got your baby. This is little you. It's a mini me. And you're trying to develop this child and give it love and to have the relationship that we, look at the relationship I get to have with my daughter. Look, it's the best fucking thing in

the world. I got, we got this because I got up in the morning, two o'clock, four o'clock, eight o'clock, whatever it was, and fed her, changed her. We have that bond. We were able to have experiences of where's the baby and have her bounce around or I'd have to take, she'd cry and she wouldn't stop crying at two in the morning. And I would say, well, I guess we're going to go find a train. We would go out. Swear to God. He's not invested like that though. He wants to play his video games and chill out. I'm getting the patriarchal vibes too. Based on, I feel like there's a lot of men out there that just inherently think, oh, well, that's kind of her job. There's a lot of women too that think

that way. Unfortunately, I think there's a people. But that's what I'm saying. I'm getting that vibe because that's so ingrained in the subconscious of our society where you still like, I feel like I grew up watching TV shows and movies where that shit would happen. It's been played into. Oh, there's different. And so it's just like, I feel like there's guys that grow up that are not exposed to the real world and don't really know right from wrong in a sense and just expect like, yep, I get my time. I go to work every day. You're here with the kid. That's your job. That's what you're supposed to do. And that's like, unfortunately, still so hard to unwrap in modern times. Yeah, absolutely. This morning, I went to work. As you're aware, I left early.

I met a guy. He shows up and he has his three-year-old son with him. You know, JD. Yeah. You know, probably Jason Jr., but JD. And he was going around and looking at stuff. And the dad realized, this is my time with the weekend. I got to be with my son. And he brought him with them. And I thought, this was great. Yeah. It was great. You can find a balance. You can find out. Yeah. You can still do what you love. Maybe it's not video games, but you can still find something that feels like a break to you and do it with your kid, obviously at a certain age. I think he could still do the video games. It's not like he's losing four hours of his day. He's only having to get up one hour earlier. He's taking a small bit of burden off his wife,

who has the night duty because he doesn't wake up to the baby crying. And she's getting up every two hours for feeding. When is she sleeping? See, here's the thing. I feel like I'm more of the light sleeper. So I keep my alarm like on the ringer. I can turn it all the way down. And the first, I'll wake up. Like I'm up instantly. So you'll get up when the baby's kind. Well, but here's the thing. I think we are both relatively light sleepers. Yeah. But if one of us wasn't, I feel like if we had like, obviously there's special cases, right? You come home after like having a horrible like long week or something. And it's like, I got it tonight. You take the full night's rest. If you hear them and I don't wake me up, I'll go do it. You go back to sleep.

Like you compromise and figure it out. But you can always wake the other person up if he's sleeping through it, but you agree to be more of a team than just like you wake up. Oh, she's crying. Yeah, no, your turn. If this goes on, I'm, I'm also really upset where she's coming to him and she's, she's literally asking him and saying, I need help. She does. I want to get the exact words that he says. I brought this up to her and she says, well, she's happy to let me nap during the day. She really needs that hour because she can't nap like I can. She said, I'm being insensitive when I know she is very exhausted and can't nap during the day. And she struggles to go back to sleep every time the baby wakes up. She's begging you for help. She's begging you for just an hour

on Saturday and Sunday, two hours every week. And she's doing all the night feedings. I'm sorry. Get your ass up. Dude, be a dad. And if I were her, and if I were in this situation. Shock collar. You might as well, but I, I would make sure that if I'm up, you're getting up. I would start showing him. You can't sleep. The button. Let me show you what it's like to not sleep. Let me give you a dose. You haven't done any nighttime feedings. You've gotten off the hook. So guess what? That stops now. The buck stops here, baby. And every time I'm awake with the baby, you're going to be awake with the baby until you see what it's really like to be in my shoes. And then when you realize that all I was asking for was two extra hours and you agree,

then you can go back to sleeping a sound peaceful eight hours at night. But until then, fuck you. Why are we so needy as little babies? Why? Because we, why? There's other species that break out and they're like, they're like fine and food. They're like, damn. Guys, I say when you get on this train. This one made me so mad. When you get on the train, my friend, enjoy the ride because it's, it's a short ride. It really, I know you're making me excited to get up in the middle of the night. You really are. It's a short ride. No, him. I will honestly tell you, it was some of my favorite times. Something peaceful about the middle of the night. I used to carry, I used to carry, I used to sing to you. When don't you sing? You're a good little

singer. I mean, give the people a little sample. I don't think I hear you sing much. Give them a little sample. Not right this second, but we will. But I will say that Jerry's debut single coming. I'm letting all you male listeners know it is what you make of it and take it with, with all the blessings that you get with it and enjoy the ride because it is so short. Well, when you look back at it, it feels short, but when you're going through it, does it feel like this endless tunnel? Yeah. Well, there's sometimes you feel- Ask my name. Their kids did not sleep. That's what I'm saying. It is what you make it. I mean, there's times you feel it telling it, look, Morgan would cry. I was a super colicky baby too. I was

a hot mess. And I found there was two secrets to make her stop crying. Trains. Trains was one of it. The other one was the vacuum. Yeah. They, it wasn't putting the vacuum on her nose. It was just listening to the, the white noise of a vacuum would knock her out. Why didn't you guys try a fan? That didn't work. Yeah. So my parents would just like set up a vacuum, let the vacuum cleaner run. They went through a lot of vacuum cleaner belts. Listen, you could then get some cleaning done in the middle of the night. Her mom did. And then you wouldn't have to do as much the next day. And so if you're a napper, you can nap when you were going to clean. Her mom loved the vacuum. And she still does. She really still does. She was busy doing this. And if that didn't work,

I would, I got the tap. Let's go find a train. And I would drive around her in town. I would drive to Proctor or Herman town to go look for the trains. But then for the iron ore trains. But then she'd be out all night after like it'd be done. Done deal. Done deal. I would take her back. She would be literally in a coma by the time the train, the third car went by and she was totally content. And then I would carry her in the house, put her back to sleep and she would sleep through the night. Maybe on the nights you can't fall asleep here. You should just start putting train videos on. You think so? Yeah. Okay. I wonder what it was. It was amazing. It was at the low rumble or the loud ass horn. She was just, I think she was amazed by them.

She just watched them and then she would just, yeah. Do you remember any of that or you do not? No, I don't remember that. None of it. No. Moving along from this one. Anyways, get it. Wake up, dude. End of story. Yeah. Not fair. But I mean, you might, there's a lot of these people you might want to shake. It's just tough because I don't know how you go from, how do you break through to someone to have that realization that they want to be a teammate? This is why I think if you have the ability to have children and you want children, be very, very, very, very selective of who you're willing to have kids with because I think, I think it is so pointless to have a partner

and still be a single parent. Right. And a lot of people are. Yeah. A lot of people are. There were some good comments on this one. So the top comment on this one was you're the asshole. If she's taking all of the night duty because you don't wake up, then you get morning duty when you do wake up. So she can catch up on her lost sleep in the night. You want a morning off? Give her a night off. Yeah. Like there's got to be some give and take because she can't do it all. And someone goes, I was so close to going no assholes here because new babies and sleep is hard. But then when we got to the video games. Whoa, those triggers, those video games. Nope. You're the asshole, OP. You can't have both nights and mornings

and your video game time might just have to suffer for a while. Yeah. We got a lot of life to play video games. Yeah. You got a lot, not as much life to spend this intimate time with your kids. Yeah. And a lot of people keep commenting that if you OP did not want to make sacrifices personally, physically, financially, emotionally and mentally, then you should not have had a child. I hope you get a grip on this and sort out your priorities so that this baby has a healthy 18 years of living with you. Are there any replies? Because I could see this person just being, nope, that's the woman's job. We do have some comments. I'm curious. This will show some personality. So he responds back to these people? Yeah. Yeah. We have a lot of comments from OP.

So I'm going to read them in the order of the soonest he respond or the oldest he responded to these people to the newest. You're the asshole. If it's too much considering hiring someone to come in for a few hours so both of you can sleep in. I've asked her about that and I think she has mom guilt about paying someone else to watch our baby every week. We aren't in a position to pay someone every single week anyhow, but once in a while would be nice. You're the asshole. You would rather play video games and help your exhausted wife. Yeah. I like this. I like that writer. Get an extra hour of sleep. Why do people marry people like you? My husband was constantly trying to take care of our kids so I could sleep, especially when I was up nurse in every few hours.

OP. Well, it's not like I never give her a break. She gets her alone time on the weekends as well. I just wanted to sleep in the way I was used to for one day. You're the asshole. You don't think she wants to just chill out and do something on her own time? She's working too by not just going to work, but also taking care of the baby. The least you could do is give her some time to sleep in. She's right. You can nap and do whatever. She can't. And unless you're going to offer to take over the feeding through formula or bottles, the only time she gets a break is if the baby is sleeping or if she's off to work. Give up your extra hour of sleep. Give it to your wife who does so much.

I do give her time to chill out. I can't take over night duty because I won't wake up for my girl's cries. My wife is always blown away that I can sleep through the night. I don't care. Don't get out of bed, lady. Kick him away. Have you heard of this thing called artificial intelligence? Yes. It's amazing. No, no. Actually, there's some triggers that these things can actually listen to. I'm sure there's going to be a device soon. I know you can put together on a pie, but basically the baby will cry. A shock collar on the father. He'll wake up. I guarantee. He will be up. I don't think you need AI for that. I think that's probably pretty simple. We have some growth here though. We do. Gross. We have some growth.

Wow. So many comments. People are basically being like, she's only asking for an extra two hours a week. They asked about his sleep schedule, and he's like, yes, I do get a full night's sleep on the weekends, but sometimes on the weekdays, I don't get a full eight hours. I understand I'm in the wrong here, but it's not like I'm sleeping all the time. I do appreciate what she does. I take over to give her time for herself on the weekends. There's a lot of comments. There is a very, very good one where someone says, a big long-winded explanation, the sleep regression won't last forever, the breastfeeding will get better, blah, blah, blah, blah. Help her out now, my friend.

She has to breastfeed for a whole year. That whole year equals over 730 hours. Take one for the team during the next two months till the baby is eating more. Your wife will be grateful. And OP goes, thank you. This answer was very helpful and put a lot of things in a perspective. To be honest, I never really thought of how many hours she has to give up to feed our girl. One hour seems pretty embarrassing to complain about compared to 730 hours. I am humbled. See, sometimes with guys, you need to break it down to simple numbers, 731. And they're like, oh, that one's bigger than that one by a lot. And you're like, seriously, though, have you not encountered people like this?

Yeah, but don't you think your partner saying, I need help would be reason enough? That's enough to work. We need to make pie charts for people. I'm just not surprised. It goes back to the flashcards from the live show. I am not surprised. Sometimes you have to put it in such stupid plain language for someone to be like, oh, I get it. And the other thing that doesn't surprise me is that it had to come from a comment on Reddit and not from her. Yeah, it's sad. That was another great one. Do you have any more good ones?

Yeah, I do. There's one last comment, though, and it's the last one that OP responds to. And this person on Reddit goes, give her my contact info. I'll keep her happy. Shit ton of awards. And OP responds and goes, bro, crying emoji. Yeah, it's a dude's dude. It's a guy's guy. You can tell. Yeah, he's just a big idiot. I feel like I know this person now. Big idiot. Moving along. I love it. This is a fun show.

Yeah, it's a good one. It's a fun show. Hi, Jan from Toyota speaking. Jan, I heard it's a good time to buy a Toyota. Sure is. From now until April 4th, you can shop all your favorites like Corolla, RAV4, Sequoia, and more. Imagine yourself in a new tundra where- You stopped by the home improvement store and finally built that tree house you promised your daughter.

Sarah? When did you hop on the call? Hi, dad. Mom said you were taking too long on the phone. Toyota, let's go places. See you're participating Toyota dealer for details. Dealer inventory may vary. This is something that is an interesting topic that I've seen a lot of couples struggle with, but it's how to navigate alcohol when one person is pregnant and the other is not. Okay. Oh, it is interesting. Yeah. So this next one is titled, am I the asshole for having alcohol around my pregnant wife?

My wife, 29 female, is four months pregnant and cannot stand the smell of alcohol. Even the smallest whiff from your breath or clothes will send her spewing. I, 31 male, love whiskey in the evening time. I would drink a glass, proceed to brush, and use mouthwash so my wife doesn't barf on me when she sees me. Yet, she runs away from me whenever I'm even a meter away because she claims she can still smell it from a mile away. In your blood, buddy. It's in your blood. We haven't even kissed at night due to this, and I have tried everything to eliminate the

whiskey smell. Yet, she still believes she can smell the faint whiskey, which makes her lose it completely. A couple of days ago, I changed my clothes, showered after it, and told her that I promise the smell is gone. She proceeds to hug me and quickly runs to the bathroom to vomit. She comes back to tell me that she isn't coming near me at night until this baby comes out. Proceeds to tell me that she was, quote, right, and that, quote, I am being inconsiderate to her introduction to motherhood. Even though I think I am being overly considerate and tried my best to get rid of this whiskey scent that she can apparently smell from a mile away. She has proceeded to move into our guest bedroom until the foreseeable future.

I told her she is overreacting and that it is quite disrespectful of her. What an asshole. She told me that she isn't trying to be any of those things. She just can't stand the smell of alcohol. Am I the asshole? No, you are not. She is not. No, no, she's not the asshole. He is. Yeah, so he is the asshole. He is the asshole. You scared me for a second.

No, no, no. I mean, I truly get it. I mean, I have been with people that they drink. I'm not a real drinker. I mean, I will occasionally have a glass of wine. I may go out to a party. I may occasionally partake in, but I don't need my nightly drinks. That's just not me. And I know that when I'm with somebody that does drink one, two, three glasses of wine, and all of a sudden I go to kiss them and the oxygen that comes from their bloodstream back through and pure and they discharge it, it is loaded with alcohol and I hate it. I find it the biggest turnoff in the world and if I was pregnant or had that ability,

I guarantee you I would be puking up all over them. So I feel for her and I find he is very disrespectful. Absolutely a prick. If that's not a, you're a prick to not. No, I'm serious. I mean, he's got to realize this woman, the last thing she wants to do is heave. Who likes to go take your, literally be pregnant and have all your stomach contractions to go discharge what's in your stomach because the person you're with who's apparently loves you and puts you in that position with a little assistance of some fun is doesn't respect you enough not to even drink. Give it up, dude. It's not that important, at least for this period of time.

The one positive he gets is that he did try at first. He tried. He tried what? Because I feel like a lot of people in this situation would be like, nah, you're crazy and not even try. He tried to cover up the smell, but the difference is here. It's in your blood. Yes, but when it doesn't work and she still has the same reaction, you then can compromise and stop. You tried, right? At least you tried, but now stop and be a team player. That doesn't make sense to you? I don't even think he tried. I think he tried to see if it would work, but it doesn't work. Trying is giving up the fucking alcohol. This is not a trick question for me.

Is this like a one little sip of alcohol? No, out. Out. No, I'm saying how much is he drinking because the only way I smell alcohol in someone's breath, like to this extent, is when they've been out and they've been drinking. But I'm saying if you come home and have one shot of whiskey in a cup and you're just drinking that, let's imagine it is one glass and she can still smell it. Then you be a team player and you stop. I'm on your side. I'm just saying. You better be because I can still make you fucking disappear. I'm just saying he tried and then it didn't work. Then have the respect to say, okay,

I tried, it didn't work. I can not do this for nine months out of my life or longer. I don't know. Is the reaction like this because of the pregnancy? This is new. It's not like she has had this forever. Then you have to assume after the pregnancy or sometime in the future, after that, it would return back to normal and you can go back to your shit. Again, it's one of those things that's temporary. It's so temporary. It's so easy to compromise. You don't need to take out your whole relationship over something like this. No. If you give it up, you might even go to your wife and say, you know, honey, I haven't been drinking in two weeks. I'm going to go out tonight. I'm not going to come. I'm going to hang out at Dave's house

to let it all purge out of my system just to be respectful of you. Will that be okay? Can we work on that one so I can still, there are ways you can successfully pull this off, but you cannot drink and go around your wife and her chemistry and her body from all the changes from the pregnancy has brought all the shit and dynamics within her senses and how she works to a whole new level. And guys don't get this, but it's real. I've been there. I get it. I know what it is. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of comments. Overall voted asshole. Accounts deleted or suspended. So I can't go to the account and look if there's any comments from him. Cause he didn't get the support he wanted. I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel like that's so common

on these though. Yeah. I was actually shocked in the last one that the guy was like, yeah, you know, you're right. That is like, that's really, I'm humbled. That's impressive to me. It is. Because I feel like a lot of people would get the response they didn't want and then, oh, duly like, nope. Yeah. A lot of times that happens. So there's a lot of comments. The top one is info. Why are you more dedicated to your nightly whiskey than your pregnant wife? Yeah. And the next comment under that is, yeah, I got to quote, I've tried everything and my immediate thought was except not drinking. I too enjoy whiskey. I don't need a glass every night or even most nights. And if it was making a loved one literally vomit, I would go without quote,

I love my alcohol more than my wife is a terrible look for a relationship. Yes. And there's a bunch of other comments like someone goes, I almost hit the floor when he called her disrespectful. And I think something else that he does throughout this is he really implies that this is all in her head. Right. I let him, let him swish her vomit in his mouth for, you know, for a few times every time he does it, that will stop the problem. Wow. I thought. Now I know how people feel when I say gross bodily fluids and talk about them. Wow. That was something. Yeah. You had an image? Yeah. I thought he was going to say he like, what I was seeing this story going to the point where he's like, one night I had a glass of water and I put food

coloring in it to make it look like it was whiskey. And she still drank it. And she stood, I thought that's where this was going. Yeah. I'm just like, if you have to get there, if you have to really test it, then there's some issues going on. But I mean, even then, like we have proven with science that sometimes the placebo effect is real. Yeah. So if she's so Pavlov to like see whiskey, smell whiskey that she pukes, like I could see you working as well. So I, that wouldn't like be definitive for me. Yes. But at the same time you, it's nine months. Or a little longer. Or a little less. Like she could be in the first trimester when, or like some people have morning sickness, really bad in the second trimester. Like some people have

morning sickness, their whole pregnancy, but this could just be morning sickness and certain smells trigger that. And she's in a really rough patch. But I think she said it best. Like this is a really bad introduction you're giving me to motherhood. Like why would I want to have another child with you? If this is how little you respect me, how little you care for me? Like she's literally vomiting. So why can't you see it from that perspective? Because he loves his alcohol too much, which is a bit of a alarm bells. It's a problem. Damn. Yeah. And so I think this is something like, if you have a partner and you're, you've talked with them about kids, like I think it's an interesting conversation to have. And you know, you say, hey, if, if we have kids

and I'm the one carrying the baby and I can't drink for nine months, would you not drink with me? Some, some couples do that. Some people ask for that level of respect. Like I can't do this. Can you be moral support for me? Like, can you, can we do this together? And so it's an interesting conversation to have with your partner. What do you think you'd fall on that? I'm curious because it doesn't matter to me. I'm just curious. Um, I don't know. Definitely. Honestly, like a year off alcohol sounds really nice. Yeah.

And like kind of a good challenge to where it's like, you honestly might feel so good that you're like, don't go back. Yeah. Well, I think like for me, I'm realizing like, I don't necessarily like the alcohol as much. Like I, I enjoy a nice little buzz here and there, but you're like something to sip on. I love something to sip on. And it's just like these bubbly good drinks. So I've been having a lot of kombucha lately and I love kombucha, but like I just love something to sip on, especially in like social situations where I'm so awkward. I just like, I need something

in my hand. I need to be sipping. I just like, it just makes it feel nice. So I wish there were more like fun mocktail type drinks at places and they didn't cost the same amount as an alcoholic drink. I think that's kind of silly. I think there's, there's starting to be some. Yeah. I don't, I, I, I really have a problem when I drink to the part where I cannot have control of my brain. Yeah.

And I don't think I've ever seen you ever have. Well, I've a lot. I've, I've learned. I don't know if you've ever seen him drunk. I don't think so. I have learned from the time that you did this game. I kind of want just one though. I mean, there's, there are a, there are a few, there are three stories basically,

but the, the end of the day is I love to be, and I understand that have the social drink in your hand. People want to see you, you know, that you're, that you're partaking with them and that social pressure. I don't think people care what other people are drinking. And if you have a glass of, if you have a glass of ice water, you're fine. Yeah. But typically I love my little tees, my little squirts and just go, and it's, and, and, and I slam those suckers because I love to have, be able to, I'm a, I'm a tipper.

You know, what's really bad though, about those little Mio things we just found out? Why are you ruining, now? We have to find you a different substitute. Yeah, you don't want to drink those. We just looked at it the other night because we wanted something to drink and we were like, oh, what about the Mio's? There's a bunch of dyes in them. So now we're going to find something new for me. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, those are like a one off. Yeah, we'll find you something. Those are in case of emergency, not a daily. Go, go find me something fun. We'll find you something good. Or maybe the people, if you have any substitutions for like the little squirt drinks or crystallite packets that are like healthy, let us know because he needs a new cocktail. Or any companies like send us some awesome stuff, Morgan will plug it.

I'm happy to have drinks on the show. Tonight we have a pink pineapple and rum mixer. Yeah, I just think we're looking like in the grand scheme of things. This is very random, but also part of our teamwork. Maybe we should start a fun drink brand. I'm down, but I just like, we're looking for plastic free. We're looking for no dyes. We're just looking for like natural, healthy, I don't know.

We literally talked about composting earlier. Yeah, I miss that conversation. I can't wait to have chickens. Yeah, we're going to have chickens too. At the house? Yeah. Really? We're going to have our own eggs.

Yeah, and Jerry's actually going to come take care of them every morning. This is great. I think not. I think you'd like the chickens. Nice. You're like the dad, you're the typical dad that you're like, don't bring home any animals. And then you bring home the animal and he's the one that's like the most obsessed with it.

That's you. Unless it's a cat. He'd be obsessed with the cat too. No. Okay, moving along. The thought of my sons growing up without me inspired me to quit smoking. I talked to my doctors and then I threw away all my cigarettes, ashtrays, and lighters.

I started exercising instead of smoking. Staying away from alcohol when I was first quitting was key. I kept on trying, learned something each time. Do whatever it takes. No matter how many times it takes. We did it. So can you. For free and confidential help, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit waytoquit.org developed by CDC.

Let's go. Am I the asshole for asking my ex-wife to stop making my kids jealous and flaunting? So I've male 38, been divorced from my ex-wife, female 35, for 10 years, and we have two kids together. 12 male and 10 male. I remarried a year later while she is still single. I have three additional children. Female 9, female 7, female 3.

I have my sons over every weekend. About four years, my ex-wife opened up an online business and she's been making six figures. While my wife is a stay-at-home mom and I make $30,000 to support our family. Wow. I'm not very good at math, but that's... $30,000. $30,000.

What math do you need to do? What math? You can't live on it. It's hard. With a wife and three kids? Three kids, wife, and then he has to pay probably something for the other two. Can't live on that in your own. Wow, wow, wow.

I don't know how he's doing it. So you can imagine how this difference has affected our two households. They live in a gated community. She drives a 2022 RSQ3 Audi. Sick. And she and our sons go to two extravagant holidays a year. My sons came over this weekend and started telling me and the girls they're going on a Disney concierge cruise in the summer.

My daughters started crying saying, daddy, we want to go. And when I looked online for the prices, they're priced at $5,000 per person. It's been all they've been talking about nonstop. I feel like their wealth is being shoved down our throats when we can barely afford heating this Christmas. It's hard not to be hateful. But I sent her a long text saying, stop trying to make us feel less than. I also told my sons in private, please don't mention holidays or gifts around the girls.

She replied with saying, it's not her problem how we feel. And when she does nice things for our boys, that me and my wife are the last people on her mind. Am I reading into this too much? Or am I the asshole for saying she's spiteful? My turn? Yeah. You were adjusting.

Let's adjust and go first this time. Okay. It's your show. Direct. This one's really difficult for me. It's a lot of gray area. Um, I always like to try and guess what the vote is, but I need to think through it a little bit.

Okay. Do you want him to go first then? No, I'm going to think through it out loud. Okay. So first thought off the bat is you are split up and what she does and how successful she is kind of has nothing to do with you in a way. Where if she has the money to spoil the kids and go do really cool things, she shouldn't not do that because you are unable to provide that for your other kids.

She's not wrong in doing those things because she's providing awesome experiences for your kids that, you know, because she's able to. So you wouldn't be like, hey, don't like take them on things because of X. And then it also becomes weird because I can't imagine being in that position where you're split up from a partner who's very successful and can provide these experiences. And now these kids come and tell your kids this. So you're caught in the middle of a really tough situation and it's very natural to be jealous. It's very natural to develop like hateful feelings because your jealousy just you can't

control it at some level when you can barely do XYZ and they're out here like just live in the life because there's this, I mean, even without kids, there's an imbalance sometimes in income and that creates problems for people. Now you add kids to the mix and they can, kids have no filter. They'll come back and be like, yo, we do this with mom, but over here, we can't even like do XYZ. Like kids, they don't recognize that moral boundary sometimes or like what's insensitive and what's not. So it's kind of tough to also tell your kids, hey, can you not talk about the cool experiences you've had? Because that also puts you in a weird position with half your kids.

So I feel for everyone in this story and I don't think, asshole is not a term I would use in this instance. I just think it's a shitty situation that I don't even know how to speak to from his position because I feel for him in the sense that he just simply can't do what she can. So I have no idea what the solution is here. It's a tough one. You are correct. And I mean, we certainly don't, he certainly cannot expect his wife to be gracious to say, why don't we do a family vacation with all the kids? Because she's not responsible to do that. Now if she did do it and they had a relationship where they were all friends and they were able to afford it, what a gift. But that's

not where they're at. And he cannot expect her not to treat her kids with all the joys that she can and he really can't go to his boys and say, boys, don't share your excitement with my girls because they feel bad. That's unfair as well. So you are correct. It is a tough situation. What he has to do is do the best he can to find other events to do with all five of them. That's an experience that they'll enjoy together and be honest with his girl saying, as much as dad would like to be able to do this, I don't have the money and let them understand the reality of it and that he's not that he's trying to deny it to them, but they can't afford it. And sometimes honesty is the best policy. I went out with somebody and was friends with somebody that

parents got divorced when she was young. Her father lived on the other side of the street, which meant he had the beachfront property, almost equivalent to the Malibu home, Rembrandt's or Picasso's were on the wall. What the hell? Yeah. Money was never an object, truly, truly wealth. And when she lived with her mom, they lived on the other side of the street, which really were the shacks, where the shutters and the paint on the house, nothing matched. Every wall on the house was a different color. So she had a tough time adapting to where she was when she would go to this father's house, who really ignored her for the most part. He was too narcissistic to do anything else. I mean, all he knew is that,

so she walked into this house with this affluence and then she would somehow try to traverse back and forth who she really was. So she never figured that part out, even as an adult, I think, it affected her. It's sad though. I mean, looking at that, it is very sad. I think the ex-wife in this story, I don't think is doing anything wrong at all. She could try to be more humble about whatever she's trying to say to him, I'm not trying to make you feel less than, that's up, that's on you. But I'm doing the best I can to give our children the best experience they can have. And I hope that you'll be able to figure something out. Maybe something will happen with your job or whatever you're doing, that you can increase your income. And if there's

anything I can do to help you figure something out, hey, I'm glad to partake and do what I can. But the reality is, this is you and this is me. And we have two separate households. So I do want to highlight two things. One, I'm getting the vibe he's British, just solely based on the fact he said mum. She's a stay-at-home mum. I'm getting British here. Or Australian. Something like that. And if it is the UK, I keep seeing TikToks of people that are wearing their full-on Parkas inside their homes in the UK because they can't afford their heat. I was just trying to Google it and see what that's about. And there's a bunch of articles that millions cannot afford to heat their homes as the UK faces Arctic snap. And millions of poor

households can't afford to heat their homes as cold weather hits. And so I think there's a lot of struggle all over the world. And I think we're kind of at this point of this late-stage capitalism where the incomes don't match up with the work. And I hear he's making 30,000 a year and supporting four other people. Like, I don't know how he's doing it. I don't know either. I mean, I don't know how he's doing it. He effectively is working in my brain at Jack in the Box or he's working at it. I don't know. I just, I don't know how he's doing it. He is in a low-pay job for where our world is today. Yeah. But, okay. So here's where I was going to go. Like, they have three children with, he has three kids with his new wife. The youngest is three. You're

getting to that preschool age now where hopefully your wife can start working and you have two incomes for your family, which realistically you need. You can't have one person supporting four. That's not working anymore. No, we're a dual income world. So I will say though, I've been sitting here staring at the numbers and it's not something I really thought about. And math is not my strong suit, but I do think the ex-wife's reaction is because of this, if it's true. So he says, I've been divorced from my ex-wife for 10 years. I have three kids, nine female. If the oldest daughter he has with his new wife is nine. He got pregnant right after they broke up. It takes nine months to make a baby. He's only been divorced for 10 years. He probably cheated.

And there's bitterness. Mixed family dynamics are very difficult to juggle. I think it's great if families can get along and co-parent really amicably. And sometimes, hey, yeah, I'll take your two other kids with the boys. They're family. I might not be their mom, but hey. And some families do really well doing that. I see a lot of tics-hacks from this one lady who is like best friends with her ex-husband's new wife. And they're kind of like a little tripod of a family now. It's really cool to see. It's really cool to see. And so I love and respect that. But if there was cheating involved, she doesn't have to be involved. She's bitter. She doesn't have to help. And she can be bitter. I think if she wants to be that way, if she is that way, that's her right. That's her

feelings. Because she got misrepresented. She got hurt. Yeah. She was cheated on. And I mean, cheating sucks. So I just think that might be a little more context. There's no comments from OP. There was an overall vote of the asshole. And the top comment is you're the asshole. She is doing nothing. All caps wrong. Me and my wife are the last people on her mind. They quoted OP. Of course you are. What else would you expect? She is good to her kids. Good parenting. You are no concern to her, except that you are a parent to her kids. And they quote OP again, which says, or am I the asshole for saying she's spiteful and go, yes, you are. Tough situation. There's always a dynamic that we never know all the reasons how

people derive where they're at. Yeah. This is definitely one I would love another side. We already did the math that we know that there was infidelity somewhere down the road. Maybe. Let's just take the percentages. It's probably pretty high. That's something like that happened. But we don't know what drove it to that. We have no idea on the other side of the fence. So we can't make these assumptions based without having knowledge. So let's just go on the fact that, yeah, it's in the best interest, I believe, in all the kids where everyone tries to make things harmonious within the kids, because the kids don't know of any of this stuff. All

they know is they're siblings. Is she giving the two boys to him for the weekends? Absolutely. Perfect. That's exactly what she should be doing is letting them have every weekend, maybe every other weekend. So people in the comments did point that out, and they think it is every other weekend, and they think it was a typo on his part. But I do think that the more that he tries to strike peace with her, the smarter he will be. And that's where it is. And own up to the fact where he is and say, I accept it and and just be honest with his kids. That's all he can do. And if she wants to be gracious to include the girls that are old enough to be a part of it, great. And if she doesn't really

give a shit because she's whatever, she's not. Also to spend $15,000 on someone else's kids. There's no expectation here. No. And he says she makes six figures, but like six figures could be right at $100,000, which or could or could be $999,000. We don't know. But you know, depending on what it is, six figures is, I mean, that's what one person needs to live these days. It's life is expensive. He needs food to feed his kids and heat to heat the house. That's his priority. I mean, I see the Disney cruise could be the Disney cruise could be fun. And boy, those those boys are lucky that they go and the girls are unlucky. But the bottom line is they need to make sure they have food on the table and they have clothes on their back and

there's heat in that house. Those are the priorities. And that's, that's just, that's just life. Yeah. It is hard though. I mean, I mean, our next door neighbor drives a Rolls Royce. I wish you got to, but oh, well, it's tough. It is really tough. We live in a world where there's a lot of, a lot of different income brackets and welcome the capitalism. A lot of people are struggling while the 1% doesn't have a thing to worry about. And it's, it's really hard. I think, you know, 2023 is going to be definitely a year for me and Justin and starting our project that, you know, he came up with about human but homeless and really giving back to homeless people in LA. But I'd love to get more involved. I think, I think it's, I think there's, I think there's a lot of ways to get

involved, but I, you know, not everyone can like, I mean, so many people are struggling. So as sad as it is, I just can't imagine what job he's doing for 30,000. And I hope there's some way for him to rise and get something that's a little more healthy for him to support his family on. But I also think he's got health insurance issues. I hope he has health insurance to protect these kids. I hope so. Yeah. I hope there's benefits, but luckily the youngest is three and preschool and school starts. So hopefully his wife can start, can start contributing even if it's working remote. There's a lot of remote jobs now. We'll see. We'll see what it is. That's a tough one though. It's, it's definitely, we certainly feel for you. I will tell you that and we feel for the girls.

I would say though too, you'd be surprised what you find out there in terms of different job opportunities. There's, there's so many things I learn every day about different jobs that I never would have even thought were jobs. Yeah. Some people have like, and that goes to a whole different like conversation about some people have some really crazy jobs that are awesome that if I didn't know one about, I would have been like, hmm, that sounds really fun. But I'm just saying it, anyone can, you know, not anyone, but if you really try and look, there are some very interesting opportunities out there. Yeah. And I'm, I'm sure if you just tried and you, you found the time to do it, you could probably find something that's better than 30 K. Yeah. I mean, you know, I,

I've known people without college degrees, without job experience, without any of the things that we all think you need pre-rex for, even if they're on the jobs requirements list, and you still just apply. And if you can go talk yourself, if you can go crush that in-person meeting, you never know. I've had, I've seen friends get hired. I've seen people get hired, no experience, no resume, and it was all on the requirements. Yeah. And they're in the job crushing it. So you just never know. So it may be time for a change. Think more, think, think more of yourself that you, that you can do some if, if you want to. Yeah. Don't tell yourself short. I know multiple people in LA that don't have college educations and have really good high paying jobs. And yeah,

you know, there is this common misconception right now where, oh, everyone's hiring. And it's, there's a little bit of a sham going on where companies say they're hiring, but they're not, they're just looking to not pay back their PPP loans and they'll make their candidates jump through 20 interviews. And hey, like I went through one with Striker, six interviews I had with them. And the last one, I didn't even get the professionalism of an email back. I got fucking ghosted after six interviews. So there's some fake ass companies out there. But And because you did is a big reason this podcast is what it is. So thank you, Striker. But, but I will say like, apply for stuff, like take the risk, just throw yourself in the ring because

you never know, you could be the only applicant that has applied and they might need someone now that you get it. So shoot your shot. I think it's probably one of the most difficult things, especially if you're struggling just to heat your house. Yeah. But you never know, you never know if you get that next job. And it's almost turning that envy and that jealousy into determination and into just like try and re-excite yourself in a new position, a new lucky like found job and that you get it, best advice, might fix all of that. And you might be in a whole different world a year or two years from now. Yeah. I agree. Okay. That was very good. Well, that's all I have for the actual episode. Okay, good. Cause I got to pee really bad.

But I have some Patreon stories. That's fine. We can, we'll get to it. I just almost peed the couch. Oh my God. I had a flashback to preschool when I was literally standing there waiting for the bathroom and I don't know what happened, but I just started peeing down my jeans and I felt that warm feeling all the way down. And then I felt kids turn and look and say something and the teacher looked at me and then I had to go like the nurse or something to find clothes to change into. And then I get picked up and I still remember, I still remember exactly what the bathroom door looks like. Okay, go pee. Justin clearly has some trauma surrounding that. So on that note, you guys, thank you. We're gonna take a pause and we'll see the Patreon. I mean, it's holiday

vibes on Patreon. Even Panda was looking to die on this one. Yeah. I'm really, I'm really sad that this one's not going to be on the episode, but time wise, we got a head to Patreon. It's, it's gonna be a good holiday bonus story episode this month. So head on over and thank you for being here. There's only one more episode left of 2022 and what a year, what a year it has been. I am so appreciative and thankful for each and every one of you. And I've said it before, but this show would not exist without you guys and your massive amounts of support. And I just, I appreciate you all so much. And Morgan, thank you for having me on the show. I know. Thank you for joining us and please go over and watch Father Knows Something. If I'm not going to tell you, I'm sure he was

going to jump in and tell you. I was about to do it too. 100K, 100,000 subscribers by the end of 2023. Yeah. Tell your friends, tell everybody. I don't even care if you guys like don't want to listen to Father Knows, but if you guys go over there and subscribe so my dad can get his little plaque, it's all he talks about. We want the plaque. I want a plaque. He just wants the YouTube plaque. He just wants to feel the love. So just check out Father Knows Something. But I will tell you one thing. The people that do listen, they all give love. Yeah. It's another good community. And if you are amongst the viewers of doing both shows and you are certainly listening, I really thank you for the love that you guys give them because I feel it. I really do. And it's wonderful.

What I think too, another thing is if you ever relate to a two-out take story or you wish you could have a Reddit story that people talk about and comment on, literally that's what we do at Father Knows. At Father Knows Something, it's all listener writings from people like you. So whatever you're going through, go fill out the form. You can find it on the Father Knows YouTube and we will discuss it on the show if we come across it. So that's the beauty of that one. Love it. Love it. Okay, you guys. Thank you again. And until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Bye guys. Bye. It's Smith's. We know the minute a tomato is picked, the fresh timer starts. The sooner

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