Two Hot Takes - Best of Reddit Crime Stories! (8 hour compilation!!)

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by a variety of guest co-hosts in this compilation episode including Lauren, Justin, Michaela, Chris Klemens, Hannah Berner, and more! This is almost 8 hours of the craziest crimes from Reddit we've covered SO FAR. From MIL's kidnapping children, to slugs in food, to a true crime hobby gone wrong, to an OP who get's treated like a surrogate by her ex and his partner, and more. These are some of the most unhinged Reddit stories we've come across. Where even an 'average' relationship advice post starts to feel like a serious crime.. Let us know what story stuck out the most to you in the comments!! SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE :) 1 million = 10 hour long episode 300!!: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ VOTE FOR US FOR SIGNAL AWARDS: https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting?utm_campaign=signa5_entrant_finalistnotification_092926&utm_medium=email&utm_source=cio#/2026/shows/genre/relationships-love-and-dating Partners:  State Farm: A State Farm agent can help you choose the coverage you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® Patreon BONUS Content including FREE stories: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ NEW MERCH:  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://shop.twohottakes.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ WRITE IN TO US!! Our SubReddit! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Index: 00:00 -- Start Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everyone. Don't get too excited when you see an almost eight hour long episode. This is a compilation episode. In honor of the episode, we're releasing tomorrow with Angela and Amanda from Smosh. We're dropping this compilation video for you, which is a true crime episode, Crimes from Reddit. These are all stories from Reddit that feel like true crimes, stories that might have started as a relationship post and then transition to true crime. And we even have. a major, major update on a story we've covered. Please watch out for the trigger warnings. It is a heavy one, but it's about that woman who was having food tampered with. As you guys may expect, these stories are true crime, crime-related. They cover a variety of heavier topics. If this isn't

something you can handle today, we have a lot of other lighthearted, just normal chaos episodes, so feel free to check out one of those. Now, without further ado, let's dive into this compilation. This episode is presented by State Farm. There's impressive, like instantly winning over your boyfriend's parents, and then there's impressive, like being smart about saving money for your dream home or a sweet new ride. And a great way to do that is to bundle home and auto with the State Farm personal price plan. Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings, and eligible. variability vary by state. Okay, this one is coming from R slash true off my chest. It is titled, I found my wife's secret Google account, and I'm sick to my stomach. Secret Google account, what does that even mean? I, male 36, met my wife Bailey, female 33, nine years ago, through mutual coworkers, and we hit it off immediately. I fell absolutely head over heels with this woman. She was everything I was looking for. I'd gotten out of a toxic, dare I say abusive, long-term relationship

right before that, with a woman Bailey had been acquainted with, but was not friends with. I'd blocked her on everything and had no contact with her since breaking up. We got married right after the tail end of the pandemic, bought our first house together and started trying to conceive. That was difficult because Bailey has PCOS. But last year, she finally gave birth to our first daughter. I'm having a blast being a dad. It's kind of a dream. come true. I finally got my happy life with my perfect wife until last Monday. My laptop's battery shit the bed, so I opened up Bailey's work tablet with an attached keyboard. You can sit at it like a monitor to check on some tax stuff. But she wasn't home. It was just me and the baby. But we've never

asked permission to use each other's devices. We've always been open like that. There's nothing for us to hide. That's what I thought. When I opened up the internet, I noticed that she had an incognito tab open. Never in a million years did I expect to discover what I did. My wife has a secret Google account with a photo album saved called XX. So I clicked on it. Did I discover an affair? Nudes? Nope. In this Google album were over 300 photos, 348 actually, of my ex. The woman I was with right before I met Bailey, the woman who tormented me and made me feel worthless. The album said it was started back right around the time Bailey and I started dating and was updated as recently as two weeks ago.

The photos range from candid shots with family to pictures at her work functions. There were even pictures from her yearbook. I don't know how Bailey could have found her high school yearbook photos. Photos from vacation, ID photos from work, pictures of her in crowds, screenshots of videos and screen recordings of videos, just her. The other people in the photos would be scribbled out, or the photo would be cropped and zoomed in on just my ex.

What the? This is scary. There was other disturbing things I found, too. There was another album with just zoomed up pictures of my ex's hair. Come to think of it, Bailey had recently started wearing her hair different, and my ex had a very identifiable hair type. There was another album with screenshots of comments on social media.

Of course, I can't find them because I have her blocked. Like Facebook groups she's in in public posts, and my ex is very low-key on social media. I can't imagine the lengths Bailey went to to find them. My ex literally lives in another country now. There were also different links to the exact outfits she was wearing, like very specific blouses and trousers you'd have to really go looking for to find. a specific water bottle I remembered her purchasing,

and identical hiking boots and sandals. So basically, my partner of almost a decade, has been single white femaleing my ex-girlfriend. What? Is that a phrase these days? Has secretly stalked her to the point of buying her exact clothes and changing her hair. And now I'm starting to realize Bailey's new interests over the years were just my exes.

Bailey has turned herself into my ex. Whoa. Everything feels like a lie. Our love feels like a lie. The things we share feel like a lie. I threw up and had a panic attack. I looked at our daughter and felt betrayed. I haven't confronted her yet.

I don't know if I want to. I want to run away with our daughter. I want to print out all the pictures, leave them on the table and disappear. I don't know what to do. I just want to throw up. Oh my God. I don't even know what to say.

I would be very, I would be very freaked out. I'd be terrified. Where do you go from there? You have a kid, you've been together 10 years. Where do you go from there? It's interesting too that he had no, like, inkling that, you know, like, you would think that he'd be like, you know, she did say that she was jealous or, you know, that she always felt, like, insecure. Like, it doesn't sound. It seems like, and I think that is kind of what freaks me out more is that this complete secret side of her instead of like him kind of knowing that she was struggling with like comparison or something along the way.

Yeah. Just the way that she was able for an entire decade to kind of keep these like this secret like life. I don't know. Yeah. She hid it really well. Yeah. The fact that it's never come up, even like a casual conversation of like, what was your ex like? Or, you know, like now I'm five years in with Justin and like, well, I'm a six.

And I, you know, recently found out what his ex looked like. I don't know if I would have gone 10 years without being curious. Now I want to know. Yeah. I've never known either. I literally just found out recently. I was like, oh, okay, cool. And then, you know, I started watching nobody wants this on Netflix, which can we talk about how they definitely got inspo from Too Hot Takes?

let's talk about that maybe another day but she is very open about his ex and she's like what was Rebecca like I'm obsessed with your ex like yeah and I'm like okay maybe there's a fine line of that not being healthy but to ask like general questions like what was she like and I'm not surprised he missed it where like she was slowly morphing into someone else because it is such a long time and people have a type. Like there's a very good chance that from a get-go they were two very similar people because sometimes people do have a type. Right. So I could see it happening. It's just the whole thing is just really odd because it's like it's a true obsession because you're you want everything that she has. I think it'd be different if like she was just following

her because she was an Instagram model and she loves her style. And she loves her style. and she's like, I don't care that she's your ex. I love her style. Cute boots. I'm going to buy them too. But this secret little incognito file and doing it for the past decade and like zooming in and like crossing other people's faces off and then like zooming in on the X. Like that is, that's creepy.

It's crazy. I mean, some of the stuff in there, I just like I could dissect everything all day. like all of the pictures, but then the folder of just cropped in on her hair. But then, like the other people scribbled, like you said. But then the yearbook photo, work badge pictures. How did she get some of these pictures? Pictures of her in a crowd. Is she stalking her in person and taking some of those pictures herself?

Exactly. And he said that she was like very low maintenance or not on social media much. So that also is a huge. red flag because it's like, I mean, oh my gosh, this is just so concerning. Top comment. I'm so sorry. This sounds like something out of creepy pasta. Propy responds, I'm actually surprised with the amount of support I've gotten on here in the last hour, ha ha. Believe it or not, there are no other red flags in our marriage. Now I don't know what else I've missed. First off, I'm sorry you were in an abusive relationship.

Unfortunately, as hard as this will be, the only option here is to sit her down and ask what the hell is going on. Yeah. Don't let her bog you down by bringing up that you snooped. You did. Don't deny it. But that doesn't compare to her cyber-stalking your abusive ex and imitating her look. It's creepy, and I can't even begin to imagine why she would. Your wife is the one you married, and your relationship with this other woman was horrible.

You're clearly not pining for the bad old days, so I've got no theories. Yeah. And that's so true, like, this other woman was not a threat at all. She's the furthest thing from a threat. Right. O.P. has her blocked on everything. What the fuck? There's just so many things where it's gone way too far,

because even if wife was doing this for maybe like the first six months of their relationship, it would be questionable, but maybe she was just, having a really hard time. Like, do you still love her? What if he still loves her? Like, the obsession. But like the 10 years is so confusing to me. Like, how do you stay dedicated to trying to like mimic everything that this person is doing for 10 years? A lot of effort and time and who are you then? Who are you? Right. If you're so involved and engrossed in becoming someone else, who are you? Is there any chance that he went back to his ex while he got back with this girl?

And that just kind of like spiraled this crisis? There's no mention of them ever getting together. It sounds like from the time Bailey and OP met, they were kind of dating an exclusive. There's another comment OP adds in response to the one about the other red flags. I don't know what I've missed. While I talked about my ex, most of the things I told my wife. about her were negative and paint her in not such a good light. My wife knows these things and knows they were traumatic. Of course I've mentioned things like what she does for a living

and things she used to do. I think everything else she found she got through intense cyber-stalking through my ex's friends and family. The yearbook photos, I have no idea. And then there is an edit removed specific info so I don't accidentally docks myself. But I mean, there's one comment. Someone's like, um, best, thing to do is address it now and see what'll change if she no longer has someone to replicate. I really want to get her reaction. I really hope he gives us updates. So O.P. does respond to that one and goes, I feel like what's worse is that she's subtly making these changes over time under my nose. So my ex has a specific career. And Bailey didn't express interest in switching careers to the exact

same thing until after I mentioned what my ex did. I didn't notice at the time, but I remember telling her, quote, ex went to school for that. The hair was more recent, the outfits and objects slowly over time, the interest. I'm not sure how much she's stolen personality-wise from my ex and what she actually likes. It's all incredibly exhausting and confusing. And that's how I would feel. I'd be like, who are you? Yeah.

Who are you? If it was like, if that folder was from the time when they were dating, like he said, there were times... Before marriage or something. Yeah, like there were a couple of the pictures saved from when we first started dating. Right. But the fact that he was like, it was updated as recently as two weeks ago. That's...

You have a baby together. You're happy. And like, I don't... Yeah, there's... There's just so many things that make this just too far. And I really can't get over like the scribbles, though, because if... Like, you don't want to see other people only her so clearly. Right.

It's just, it's odd. Like, if she... She was just, like, had this obsession that she got in this habit of doing and she's just kept, like, checking on the ex. And then she, like, didn't want to accidentally like, like, I don't know, creating a separate album is just confusing to me in general. But, like, scribbling people's faces out. Oh, man, I don't know. This is just so odd. I really, really would love to get, like, what the wife says about it.

Like, does she deny it and say, you're crazy, gaslight him? Or is she going to be like, I'm sorry. I have been battling. like this mental health like issue that I've been having and I wanted to keep you out of it because it makes me feel so crazy. Like I want to know like what her response is going to be so badly. Well, we don't have enough. Just kidding. We do? Yeah. Oh, why'd you do that to me? Oh my gosh. So the original post was coming from March 17th of 2024 this year and the update came July 7th. So March, April, May, June, July, like almost four months.

Okay. I'm pretty sure I accidentally got my original post removed just now because I tried to update it with a link to my update. Oops, anyways, I'm the guy that found the Google Drive full of pictures of my ex. So, I was not expecting my original post to go viral on YouTube and TikTok and have so many responses. Yikes. I'm overwhelmed by the support. I'm humbled by the number of people who have been through this experience on both sides. Whoa.

Wow. I have an update, but it's probably not as exciting and as juicy as you want. It's not bad, though. First, let me clear a few things up. If people think this post is fake because it doesn't make sense or trying to conceive timeline is short, or the way I worded things makes it looks like a teenager or a woman wrote it, continue to think that because it means I've successfully been vague enough and worded things to not accidentally docks myself because this is a creative writing exercise so I don't embarrass myself for real. No, I have successfully been vague enough and worded things to not accidentally docks myself myself. Because this is a creative writing exercise so I don't embarrass myself for real. No, I actually didn't throw up. I was in the middle of a panic attack. Private browsing tabs were open to the websites with clothing and objects. Another tab was signed into Google Photos. When I exited the Google Photo tab to look at the website with clothes and came back, it was already signed out and I couldn't get back in. A lot of the clothing I recognized wasn't because I remembered my ex wearing them. There were more recent pictures of her in the file wearing them. And I remember the day Bailey bought the water bottle that also happened to be in the folder. The hair. Bailey and my ex are the same

race, and my ex wore braids in a particular way. Not so particular that it's exclusive to my ex, because Bailey has also worn different braids, but seeing pictures of her made me put two and two together. Is there any way Bailey could have gotten with me in an attempt to get to my ex? Was Bailey possibly obsessed with my ex before she met me? Probably not, because Bailey grew up here and my ex originally moved here for university. And while you can drive across the border, it's not that easy, and I don't think Bailey was going back and forth to stalk her in person. Also, the reason why my ex and I broke up have nothing to do with Bailey, and she could not have had any involvement. On to the actual update. The next day, when I had calmed down, I called several social workers and therapists. I was planning

to confront her there. Unfortunately, the only places that take our insurance did not have an opening for another couple of weeks. So despite what a lot of you think, I've known my wife for nearly a decade, and even while I was confused and upset and doubting things, I didn't think she'd be a danger to me. We took baby to grandmas, and I asked her to go for a walk with me.

I did not beat around the bush, and straight up told her, quote, I found the folder. Her face got very red, and she was frozen, but also tried to play dumb at first. I was persistent, and she started crying, and begged me not to leave her.

This is what I uncovered. Bailey first started looking at my ex out of curiosity, to keep tabs, I guess. But over time, it became more pathological. It's like she got addicted to it. But she also wanted to please me. Okay, maybe I talked about my ex a lot more than I thought. And Bailey wanted to emulate the good parts.

She told me she really doesn't know who she is. And my ex's image was something she latched onto because, quote, she had me first. Finding information about her became a game. Finding the clothing and objects became a game by searching things like blue water bottle, green stripe, until she compared the product to a photo and found the exact one.

The reason why I couldn't find the post wasn't because I had blocked my ex, but because my ex had made a new Facebook under a different name. Bailey found her profile by searching up a family member. She made a fake social media and added enough mutual friends until she could see my ex's post

and until her private Instagram accepted her. She weasled her way into her exercise Facebook group where the videos were posted and searched her high school on a yearbook website to find the yearbook pictures. Over time, she just collected the images and would get excited to find something new despite the fact that my ex is extremely private on social media.

The folder had originally been called quote, hex the ex, in case I discovered it. She was going to make the excuse of saving the pictures to put a hex on her. When she made a burner Google account... That's more normal.

I think that might be worse. Yeah, I'm kidding. When she made a burner Google account, she deleted the old folder and named the new one XX. Then she got sloppy and comfortable, and that's right around the time I just happened to open the work tablet.

We took a break. It was a while. We made it to couples counseling, and Bailey and I also began seeing separate therapists. She still has not had an assessment with a psychiatrist, but it's on the list. She promised to stop and deleted the album in front of me. Slowly, certain clothing items began to disappear from the closet. I still do not entirely trust her, and that is for me to work on.

I'm afraid she has another secret account somewhere, like a backup. The physical mimicking is actually stopping, though, including the hair change. We're still not okay. I want us to be okay. And it's okay if that takes time. If we end up not being okay, then that's something I have to deal with. What I do know is that my wife is incredibly insecure, probably mentally ill, and is misled. I don't really want to walk away from that. Although this probably isn't the most exciting update, I appreciate the private messages. I just couldn't get back to Reddit cares and links to resources. I'm not sure how I feel about social media, YouTube, and TikTok. Pick it up my story, though. That's wild. Until next time, if I ever give

another update, I do hope it's a good one. Damn. Until next time. Until next time. Um, I mean, I guess it's kind of exactly what we all thought, but, um, I mean, I feel like that's, a lot of people are screaming, ah, he should have got divorced. But there's so much. But there's so much more nuanced to life than that? Yeah, I don't, this doesn't scream divorce to me. I think I would be more concerned if the wife completely gaslit him wouldn't own up to it, like said he was crazy, like that type of stuff, then I'd be concerned around it. But the fact that, you know, she was embarrassed and then she came clean, I don't think that it's like an immediate like divorce worthy. It just, it depends on what what happens from here? What it sounds like to me is that she was interested in the ex and then

it became a little obsessive because she gamified it. Yeah. She literally gamified it. And then it became an addiction that she just didn't drop. So I, you know, if nothing else is going wrong in the relationship and if she's going to be honest about getting help and talking it out of why she did it and not doing that anymore, then I don't see why, you know, they shouldn't still try. But again, it's up to O.P. And like, how he feels, if he feels really betrayed and he can't move forward from it, then, like, that's that. But if he thinks he can, you know, still trust her and feel that she still is the same person that she is, like, she is her own person and she was just copying clothes because she had this, like, addiction and he can get over it, then that's their life. And that's,

And that's that. Yeah, that's their life. And I mean, do they do have a kid together, like, otherwise really happy marriage? And I mean, he even kind of admitted, he's like, maybe I did talk about my ex a lot more than I thought. And so maybe, you know, she loved him so much, she felt that need to do it. And still, unhinged. And, you know, they'll proceed forward and they'll figure it out. Even if he just said in passing, like, oh, my ex was super stylish, very into fashion. But she, and she used it against me and blah, blah, blah, and always said that, I, my fashion suck.

Like, even if he said that in his head, he's thinking he's talking about her being like, yeah, toxic. And then his partner is just like, she's fashionable. She has such good fashion sense. Yeah. You pick up the positive versus the negative that follows. Yeah. Yeah, this one is wild.

Wild. Okay. This next one, I have not read. I'm just going based off the title because it threw me for a loop. Okay. It's coming from relationship advice. Three days old, my 27 female husband, 28 male, secretly recorded us and sent it to my ex. I just found out my husband, 28 male of two years, secretly recorded us during sex, and I'm freaking out. He sent it to my ex that he's always been openly jealous of. I knew he could go a little over the top sometimes, but this is honestly making me insane.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure what to say. I found out from logging into his Instagram and seeing their DMs. My ex was angry in the text, but blocked my husband right after confronting him. This exchange was around May of last year. I'm really scared and I'm panicking. What do I say to my husband? I know I need to confront him, but I'm just so scared.

I can't believe he'd record us without me even realizing. What if he has more in his gallery? I'm so worried. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. That's... It's over. Divorce.

Yeah. Divorce. Divorce. Divorce. Yeah. I would literally have lawyers confiscate all of his stuff and try to get all of those deleted because that is... That's terrifying.

It's so terrifying. I just want to, I just don't know. Like, I want to just electrocute him with my static electricity because that is disgusting behavior. It's horrific. It's so not okay. And the fact he sent it to her ex. Twofold.

Do you want the ex? Like, where in his little pea-sized brain? That's so messed up. And then in that video, the ex may send that to probably all of the friends. Yeah, you can never track it. Yeah. And like, oh, that just. It's so violating.

That is so violating. It's so not okay. I just, this one's done. That's just so disturbing. He's, yeah, there's no coming back from that. I mean, it's just crazy. What are you trying to prove? That is the most insecure, toxic. So toxic. Predatory behavior.

Yep. Recording someone without their consent. sending it, which could be, I'm like, is that prosecutable by like revenge porn? Because I would, I, like, hope it can be classified like something like that. You could definitely go after him for doing this. He needs to be in trouble for that. It's not okay. And the fact they're married, like, this is a person you're supposed to trust and it's supposed to love you.

Why are you still, why are you still threatened by the acts if you're married? You got her. She's yours. You guys are together. You won. Ear quote, one. And I feel so bad because like she's here again saying, I'm so scared. I'm so scared.

I'm so scared. Like you, I fully, I would be scared too. I'd be looking for the camera. And you can't. You can't. I think a lot of times with people like this, you can't confront them. You just need to pack your shit. Yeah.

No, he's disturbing. Like there's something. You gotta go. Absolutely wrong. Absolutely wrong. I totally agree. That's why I'm like, instead of like taking all of the devices and trying to like delete it all myself, I would be like, I'm going to get a lawyer involved.

So like, oh, I don't know how that works, but I hope there's justice because that is so messed up. Top comment on this one. This is abuse and also illegal. I could never trust my husband again if he did that to me. This is grounds for divorce. Well, and it's not just the fact that it was recording, right? That would put you there regardless. It's then okay.

You then took it and sent it. There's no, I mean, you sent it on Instagram. You doubled downed. You didn't even, it's, oh my God, it's just so crazy. I can't, I can't process the fact that it was this first crazy step. And then, I don't know, man, come on. This is like the two-way mirror thing in hotels. I always have to go up in my flashlight and check the goddamn mirrors and look for cameras and smoke detectors.

I hate that shit. I loved the world before little tiny cameras because like, yeah, it's great we can have it on our phone. It's like, oh my God, look at that. You got it. But there was something awesome, especially about being like a teenager, T-Ping people's houses and things,

when there wasn't cameras every single little place and the size of like a grain of rice. I think that's what gets scary. And like you hear about this with like Airbnb's, where like you see like a little like USB, plug on the wall and it's actually a camera. Well, for Alejandro's birthday when we were in Aspen, I'm like, we're all sitting in the living room, like, in a circle just talking about random things, but like we're getting like deep

with each other. We're like sharing like personal things. And there's a camera that's just like right at us that's on. And I'm like, like, I'm sure they're just trying to make sure there's no like damages because the camera was like big where it's not like a sneaky one. But like, but I'm like, it makes me feel uncomfortable. knowing that they have this like footage of us like sharing like personal stories with each other. Yeah.

It's really the age of like people. And like I think people now feel more entitled to record you. Yeah. And it's just like. They do. I know when I watch TikToks sometimes because sometimes I see something kind of funny and I want to like take a picture of it. And I'm way too nervous to take a photo of it. I don't want anyone to see that I'm taking a photo of something that I found funny, like a sign or something.

And other people I see on TikTok are just like in each other's face, record each other. And I'm like, I don't know how you guys do that. Like I'm, they're brazen. I'm like, I'm too nervous to take picture of a funny sign that someone probably wants me to take a picture of. But I'm like, I don't want to. You just got to be careful. And it's scary that it can happen with someone that close. Yeah.

That should have your ultimate trust. So really, there's one answer. Yeah, it's without doubt. It's a goodbye. It's a goodbye. And I don't think there's any devil's advocating on this. There's no fucking way. What he did is extremely violating illegal, disgusting.

Yeah. But, of course, someone on Reddit will still, you know, try. Okay, let's hear it. Someone goes, everybody's jumping on the your husband is an evil man bandwagon. But I have to ask you, do you make your husband feel less than your ex? Shut the fuck up. Do you talk about him like he was so wonderful? Do you compare them?

Maybe he doesn't feel like he measures up. Don't blow up your marriage yet. Shut up. Lots of advice from people not married. Like, ask him why he felt he needed to do that. And I don't mean yelling, but an actual question. Find out why before you jump. Absolutely not.

I'm sorry. That is, if that was a thing, that doesn't matter. That doesn't mean that you get to do what he did. That's not okay. What even do you think the why would be? Like, what reasonable why could there even possibly ever be? Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Okay, okay, never mind.

I'm sorry that I said my ex did that for me one time. Yeah. And I talked about a present he got maybe twice. Like, yeah. It doesn't, I don't care if she said, my ex is the best person I've ever met. I wish him so well. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't care.

You don't record someone. No. And you being intimate and then send it off into the internet, into the void and then sent it to someone. Like what? I don't care if she literally talked about like the intimacy that she had with her ex every single day. That would make her shitty. Yes. But that does not mean that you can do something like that to a person. He could have left. He could have broken up there. He could have got divorced. There's no, no excuse for this behavior. Zero. And you guys know, I love to like poke holes in things, ask so many questions, try to

understand. We're curious, gals. Yeah, we're very curious. I just, even if I, even if I I already am like it's an automatic no. I like to ask questions anyway, just out of curiosity. But with this one, I'm like, no. This is like a caveman got a hold of some technology.

Like rock hard. Ooh, camera. Ooh, record. Ooh, jealous. Ooh. Prove point. Like, literally it's so stupid. It's just,

it's, this man is crazy. Like, I'm going to prove I'm the alpha type shit. He's crazy. He's genuinely unhinged. Oh, replies to that. And O.P. says, fuck you. The thing is, I never talk about my ex. Maybe a bit when we first dated, but never when we got married two years ago. I'm really not sure what caused

this. Maybe they have some beef between them. I don't know. But other than that, I'm not sure. But thank you for suggesting, I think, before I do, someone responds back to her and goes, this is a terrible take, don't listen to this person. Yeah. Yeah. There is nothing you could do to cause or deserve this abuse. Nope. Hell no.

Hell to the no. O.P. does have some other comments here. Exploring my legal options sounds like a good plan. I'll need to talk to my parents first, but knowing them, it'll be hell let loose if they find out. Do I risk that or do I handle it on my own first? What does she mean by that? I don't know. Just like maybe trying to like, you know, sort it before.

No, I mean, what is like, what will her parents do? Kill him. I mean, not actually, but like, I don't know. There's another couple comments. Yes, I kept a few screenshots. Smart. So wild. You got to remember that in the hardest times these days.

You got a document. Yeah. Always. You have to. You have to, no matter how emotional you are. Don't you hate when you watch a movie where they just like throw the phone in the water? Yeah. Because they're pissed.

And I'm like, no, keep the evidence. That's so wild. Someone goes, would there be any repercussions for logging into his Instagram, breach of privacy or whatnot? Obviously a way smaller scale, but you don't want to give them anything to use against you in court. Maybe your ex showed it to you, wink, wink. And Opie goes, I'm guessing there won't be any repercussions. He asked me to log into his Instagram to change his settings since he didn't know how to. I was looking at his DMs just to check how his sisters are doing since I haven't seen them in a while.

I came across the DM with my ex completely by accident. Before I speak to a lawyer, would this actually be an issue? Something to take up with a lawyer. Your lawyer will tell you, yeah. Yeah. I like looking at the DMs to see how his sisters are doing. Sure. Be honest.

I mean, regardless if that was wrong or not, I don't care. Thank God you did it because you found this. I don't. Imagine if you hadn't. I don't find it to be wrong specifically when he literally said go into my Instagram. If you're going to say that, then you have to accept that they might see something on your Instagram. So I'm not like at all judging or anything. I was just...

Yeah. I'm just saying like... We all like to kind of like take a little peep. Yeah. If it's right in front of you. Tell me the vibes you get from this, okay? Am I the asshole for taking my husband's property and comparing my husband's strange hobby to infidelity?

My husband and I have had a rocky marriage and are going through a divorce. I have long suspected him of infidelity because he travels constantly, leaves that weird hours when home, and even had three different women file police reports against him. few years ago. Sorry, what? Yeah. Start there.

She just, she slipped that one in. And one other thing, just a three, please, for, anyway, anyway. Charges got dropped and I eventually believed he was a victim of a witch hunt and moved on. We tried to be civil for the holidays for our respective children. We each have two children from previous marriages, but none with each other. Good. Thank God. My daughter was with her boyfriend on X-Miss, but came home for New Year's Eve.

My husband was still at work while we were getting ready. I needed some red wine to make some sangria and asked my daughter to get it out of my husband's room in the cellar where he stores our alcohol. She came back 10 minutes later and looked really worried. I asked her what was wrong and she handed me a small pouch. She said that she jostled the liquor storage cabinet a bit and it fell to the ground. Apparently it was tucked between the liquor storage cabinet and the wall. This is sketchy. Uh-huh.

So I confronted my husband about it this afternoon. He said that he had a confound. He said that he had had a fetish for driver's licenses and would buy them from random women when he went on his work trips. He admitted it was bizarre, but said that there was something erotic about holding something that left someone else feeling so vulnerable. I said that I was upset and that this was very, very creepy. I said it was also like cheating on me to get off to some weird fetish like this without sharing it with me first. He got very upset. He admitted that he should have been more open about something that he was struggling with, but that it was completely out of line for me to accuse him of cheating based on this. He also said that he would burn the driver's licenses in the furnace later that night. When I told him that I had given them to my lawyer already, he completely lost it. He said that I have no right to steal his personal property like that and couldn't even be around me. He packed some clothes, got into his car, and took off. Based on what he said in pack, I get the feeling he won't. He won't.

be coming back. I'm not sorry he left since I can't stand him these days. However, I partly feel like he had a point that I shouldn't have compared his weird fetish to cheating or given his property away to my lawyer when it might be evidence of such. I'm sorry, wait, she did everything right. I mean, honestly, that's fucking terrifying. I want to call the cops. I just, not the lawyer. No, seriously, like, I just watch the undoing. And after watching a whole series like that, I'm not going to give anything away. I know. I haven't seen it yet. But that I would literally think that serial killer. Yeah, serial killer. Like that is so, so, so, so scary. Especially the reason behind, like, he's saying, like, oh, like something, I just love it being like this vulnerable thing for

these women who don't have this, like, past, whatever he was saying. Who thinks like that? That is so, so, so, so eerie. And the fact that he, like, after she gave those to the lawyer. He's running. He's running. Yeah. And like he's like, don't worry. I'll burn them tonight. Like what to burn your own evidence. Like it's so fucking sketchy. I'm terrified. So what what is like the follow up on this? So the follow up basically is OPE says she didn't like look at any of the ideas like for me if I would have seen those ideas like I would have at least like Googled a couple of them. Oh for sure. Like Google to sure. Make sure. Make sure. Make sure. Yeah. See if any missing people pop up because that's just weird. That's just weird.

But she asked him about it like, oh, how did you, how did you get these even? Like, how would some random girl at a bar like let you just take their ID? And basically he says, like, he would offer them like a hundred bucks or he would offer them like money. And that's the thing. Like, first of all, like, yeah, he's traveling to weird cities, like, but he's not spending a lot of time there. So he's going up to people at bars sitting down next to a girl. It doesn't matter. I feel like we as women, like, we're already on high alert if we're sitting at a bar by ourselves

or even with friends, like, we're making sure our drinks don't get roofied. Like, we're on high alert, like, looking out for creepers. Right. And if someone just came up to you and was like, can I buy your ID from you? No. Especially like, okay, if he offered $1,000, I'd be like, yeah. I thought about that too. I'm like, how much?

Absolutely not. Like, you have to have the inconvenience. You have to question, like, why do you want my ID? Like, that's weird. but like a thousand I'd be like maybe last question yeah even a thousand though like going to the dmv in los angeles it's just so creepy too because even if he wasn't a serial killer okay weird fetish whatever what is to make you not think that he hooked up with all those girls and then stole like their ID and like that was his little like trophy that's his trophy exactly either way they're a trophy for something

exactly a conquest he's you know slept with all of them he killed them i consider that cheating like even if it was just as innocent as being like, oh, like, could I have your, your ID? And then I had a boyfriend husband who was jacking off to, again, like, these people, it's different. Like, it's different. Like, what we were talking about with porn. Like, no one looks at that as like these people. Like, people are just like, oh, I just want to envision myself there. But like, when you're literally looking at whether it be your, your wife's little sister and mom in their bathing suits. Yeah. Or you're looking at these girls IDs that, like, that. That, like, that. to me is cheating because it's like that is like you physically met those people you know those exactly like you are masturbating to people that like you are in contact with and pictures of them yeah like i and and it's not like naked pictures where it's like porn is like literally just like oh like people want to see like the act and whereas like this is like you're looking at a picture of a person's face like yeah i hate that i hate that and i would definitely I would leave him immediately.

So she's really curious if she's the asshole. Because he was pissed. Like that was his personal property and then she gave it to the lawyer. But she did that because she thought he was cheating and it was evidence of cheating. So because you get better helps in the divorce. It definitely does. Not that I know, but yeah, personally. Hopefully I won't know personally.

It's sketchy though. Something's up. Something is not right. Well, I am just hoping that it was only just a random weird fetish because I really hope those women are safe and sound. I think she mentioned in one of the comments that there were a total of eight IDs too. I'm sure the lawyer looked them up. Like, he had to have. He's a lawyer.

I wish, like, her account was still active because I would love to hear the rest. Hear a conclusion from this. We need it. Was he a killer? Was he not a killer? I'm going to say he's not. not and I really hope that that's the truth. Manifest.

But after the fact that I just got Citizens Alert, which you said that you don't have citizens alert. I don't. Honestly, I have mixed feelings on having Citizens Alert because, one, it makes you know like you don't want to go on the corner of La Brea and Wilshire. Yeah, something like that if you see that someone just got assaulted. But on the other hand, I hate seeing the fact that tonight there was a fire with a body found in a container.

So terrible. I don't, you know, citizens alert could save your life, could also take some years off of your life because of the stress of looking at it. Other than that, it's starting to spread like wildfire. Like everyone's on it now. It notifies me every single time a contact signs up. You'll see mine tonight, tomorrow. Be safe people.

Can't wait. Be safe. Don't sell your IDs. This is weird. Do not collect. What if he was sex trafficking too? What if he was like trying to get people out of the country using, I really want to know where he drove off to.

Like, I hope that he's still in the country. He might be all the way in Mexico by now. He gone. Trigger warning on this next one. It does mention talks of sexual assault and kidnapping. So this is from R slash True Off My Chest posted four days ago. It is titled, My 23 female boyfriends, 26 male friends, pretended to kidnap me for a proposal. Oh, they kidnapped her. What the fuck? Okay, continue. I am trembling and just created

this alt account because my main has a lot of details about me that would make it easy to trace back. A week ago, my boyfriend told me he had a camping trip planned with his friends on Friday, today. He said he would have no service and he'll see me on Sunday. He messaged me at 5 a.m. this morning and told me they're hitting the road. Around 8, I went for a run like I usually do on Fridays. I have one headphone in while I do because I was on a work call. While I was running, I noticed an SUV that kept popping up. In hindsight, it looked just like my boyfriend's childhood friend's car. I sent a message to my sister saying to standby and shared my location. It's so funny how girls have such good intuition, she's like, I'm going to die today.

Because that car is a little too close. Trust your gut, girlies. Right after sending the message, I looked up and the SUV was right beside me, and someone jumped out and. grabbed me. It happened so fast I even dropped my phone on the pavement. I was pulled into this car and I could tell there was at least two masked guys in the back before they covered my eyes. In hindsight, they had cartoonish ski masks and black gloves on. I freaked out and resisted like crazy, screaming and kicking. All I could hear was these guys laughing and I could feel one of them holding me down by my arms behind me and the other was holding my legs down at the knees. This is So fucking traumatic.

Immediate trauma, immediate therapy for 30 years. I don't know how long I was in there, but I kept begging them to let me go and crying. I even admit, I peed on myself. But I don't think they noticed until we arrived at the house. They pulled me out of the car and I was screaming for help until I was pulled into the house. When the mask on my head was removed, I was on my knees in front of my boyfriend of two years. He was staring at me with a confused look before he started to angrily ask his friends what was going on. As I started to adjust to what was going on, I realized he was dressed nice and there was

romantic decorations around the entryway to his house. I realized who he was and what was going on and collapsed into sobs. I probably had a five-minute panic attack in that car on my way there and another one sitting in the entryway to his house. I was sweaty, wearing soiled yoga pants, flushed with fear, scared for my life. That was all about an hour or two ago. My boyfriend took me upstairs, I'm just going to help me get showered and changed, but I wanted to do that alone. I heard yelling and commotion downstairs while I showered, but I don't know what is going on. I'm sitting in his room now holding my shattered phone after crying to my sister about what happened. She lives 1.5 hours away, but is speeding over to get me now. I can't stop thinking about what

happened. And even though I now know I was never in any danger, I don't think my brain can comprehend it. They were snickering and teasing me in deepened voices about what they were going to do. to me. The one that was holding my legs down kept caressing my thighs up and down into the inner area. Oh, hell no! When the car would break, his face kept falling into my chest. I don't even know who that was. I just know one of them sounded unsure and kept trying to diffuse the situation, but I think it was the driver. So, did you propose? I don't think so. We have some edits. Like, it seems like things... There were follow-up questions. Yeah, like everyone had like what the fuck is going on type reactions in the comment.

As in maybe they had a plan and then the friends like kind of went rogue. Yeah, it sounds like that because obviously like he expected her to show up. He had like everything set up and like ready for a cute proposal. So I don't know like. Why couldn't they just have been like, hey, can we take you somewhere? Hey, it's your friends. We want to take you somewhere and it's a surprise. What's wrong with that?

I think sometimes people will use any opportunity as an excuse to like act out their insane fantasies. Like I feel like these guys had a fantasy to kidnap a woman and play this out. And they took this as like, here's our shot. Let's get her there. But let's do it our way. And they just went fucking rogue. For sure. The word rogue is so fun to say.

But this is not a fun situation because I feel like dudes will never understand the fear of like being. alone walking or running as a girl. Like anywhere you go, I'll walk somewhere like with a guy and be like, I can never be alone. Like, thank God you're here. And they never think that. No. And this is every girl's worst nightmare is going outside alone and getting captured

by a bunch of men. I think about this every time I walk outside by myself. Literally. Even in broad daylight. Literally. I don't, I'm like, I'm speechless. I need to know, like, any follow-ups? Yeah.

So top comment on this is this is no. joke. Most people who are kidnapped or assaulted are done so by people they know. This is assault. Press charges against these shitty friends of his. And someone goes, it's essay as well. The friend and his friends thought they had a get out of jail free card to enact their sick fantasies. So yeah. Wow. Comments picking up on it too. Um, so there is an edit at the top. My sister arrived. She wants to take me to the police station now. I haven't spoken to my boyfriend yet, but I think there's more to this story than he knew about. Oh. I'll have to log off. for a while. Thank you for the support in the comments. Edit number two. I'm working with police now.

This is going to be investigated as a false imprisonment if I press charges. My sense of time was so warped. From where I was picked up to his house was about seven or ten minutes in the car. It felt like way longer than that. As for the friends, the driver was his childhood best friend, who I actually get along well with. He was in tears when he voluntarily arrived at the police station for a statement. The other two were friends from his athletics class that he started attending a few months ago. It seems like the two guys I didn't know wanted in on what otherwise was supposed to be something more innocent. The original plan was for them to pop out of this car in their funny kidnapping attire and hand me a letter that explained I was being summoned by boyfriend and resistance

is futile. Seems like the plan changed as the two new friends wanted to shake me up a bit more and make it feel more real. Edit three. I've had time to calm down and long talks with my sister. We are going to meet up with my ex, question mark, boyfriend for dinner tonight. He has been respectful of my request for space, but has been emotional whenever he thinks about what I went through this morning. His best friend contacted me repeatedly apologizing for allowing it to get that far.

But I asked for him to stop, and he did. The best friend's fiancee reached out and has been supportive and apologetic too. I'm astounded at the support I've received here and wish I could thank each of you individually. I've never had anyone other than my sister and boyfriend care for my mental well-being like this. Reddit is a very kind place sometimes. Sometimes. Keyword. Wait, so it sounds like these two motherfuckers ruined the whole situation in like the worst possible way. Even like. Also, what is athletics club? What does that mean? Your gym buddies who are snorting up. Steroids?

Sounds like it. I'm just like blown away. And I guess like to each their own. But my, like my idea of a romantic proposal does not, like doesn't include any blindfolding. Also that was like planned out like I know she's going to be running at this time and she'll be in this place. Yeah. Find her. Absolutely not.

I hate to be like another breakup. But it worries me as to like who, what kind of. people he fucks with and then also why he thought that would ever potentially be even cute. That's what I'm wondering. Even the jump scare of them just surprising her at first is enough for me to be like, nope, not fun, not cool. No. And like anytime there's a mask involved, it's kind of like, it doesn't matter how childish the mask is. Like when someone initiates a kidnapping, you think you're getting kidnapping, like kidnapped. And even now she's like, well, I know I was never in any real harm. tell that to your brain.

Like she's going to experience PTSD forever. Anytime she's trying to run outside, she's a black SUV, panic attack. Like this is not something that now that you know it's fake, you instantly can just be like, I'm good. I didn't pee myself.

You're so right. It's like, this is so random, but the Cindy Crawford, the Cindy Crawford documentary. Oh, I, yeah, I want to watch that. It was like she basically had to do all this weird stuff when she was a kid. And then later on,

she realized that it was Trump. but during it she didn't realize. So it's so interesting how your brain doesn't really know how to process things. Even when you logically are like, this is going to be fine, this is fine, your brain knows when it's not. Yeah.

Also, if he was actually trying to propose, the fact that now they're on the verge of breaking up is a literal plot twist. Yeah. But I totally see why because even like being around his best friend. Like I would be so, I would be so angry at that person. Also,

you're not a butt of their. jokes. It's giving like they hate women. Like this is supposed to be the most beautiful moment of like this person's life. Exactly. Of love and celebrating a connection of a man and a woman. And they're literally treating her like she's an animal. They assaulted her. And that's like I get like, oh, the boyfriend thought it would be a cute like kidnap proposal. Okay, here's the letter babe. Whatever. Where did he get that idea? Stupid fucking idea. Stupid idea. Men are so silly sometimes. I really wish she ended up murdering one of them. Is that about to say?

No. Okay. I think it's deserved. But they then took it far and they started touching her. Yeah, no, that's when it's like you go into Taekwondo mode and you like look at that TikTok you watched once where like if a guy puts his hand on your neck and then you stab him in the eye with your long fingernail, gel nail, French manicure. Having his friends non-contentrally involved in a kidnapping and then they touch you, Absolutely not. I don't know how this guy's going to recover, but hopefully he learned a lot. I hope so. I think that this is going to be a good, like, clean break for her. I think the breakup is the best decision. No matter like how much you love someone, I don't think I would ever be able to get past this.

But also, I feel like if someone really fucking loves you, they wouldn't put that situation in their dumbass friends. They just met in their athletic club's hands. that's the question. Like, is he that stupid? Does he truly not have more than one brain cell? Sometimes these horrible things that happened to you are assigned from the universe to be like, get the fuck out of this situation. What are people saying? A lot of comments. A lot of people sharing their own kidnap stories. Yeah, like there's one person that was like, I was kidnapped too as a kid for an event for new high schoolers as a way to haze the freshman. I used to not be claustrophobic and now I am among other things. My love for quite a few things as well as my innocence died that day when I was 14 and changed me forever.

I have watched kidnapping documentaries and it's fascinating. It fucks with your mind because you think like you deserved it or like you're lucky that that person chose you and like for people who are like kidnapped for years and then you start just being like you don't know who you are anymore. It is some fucked up shit. It's not funny. No. And I'm a comic and I can find.

funniness in a lot of things, not that. Oh, so sad. But O.P. ends up, like, responding to that comment and being like, I'll message you since you've been through something similar. I'm sorry you had that experience, especially at such a young age. And so it's like, it's nice that she's even finding this community in Reddit to, like, maybe help her share similar experiences and heal. And like, granted, yeah, she wasn't kidnapped for 10 years by someone, but there's something even weirder about, like, you're prank. Like, you're the butt of someone's joke when you pissed yourself. And don't even know these people. Like, she's not in on the joke at all.

No. It's just so fucked. A lot of comments. Someone, I don't know what this has to do with anything. And maybe it's like something culturally, I don't understand. But someone goes, is your boyfriend from Kazakhstan? And Opie goes, no, he's ethnically from the Middle East and I'm from Eastern Europe. Very similar backgrounds, actually.

We are both born and raised in America. We are both culturally and socially, very western slash American. Interesting. Yeah, so I'm not sure. Is Kaz like stand, like, just out here kidnapping people for fun all the time? Well, maybe it's like, I, because I have seen another video of like a kidnap proposal on TikTok because they had the CCTV footage. And I'm like, maybe it's like a thing where it's like... Did it go well on that TikTok?

Same, same thing. Same thing. So take note, guys. Like, people do not fucking propose like this. No. This is terrifying. No. If, or if you, no.

Yeah, just absolutely not. I have no comment. No. This is coming from our slash relationship advice, 10 days old. It is titled, I think that my 25 male, wife, 23 female, thinks that I murdered her ex. Curiosity peaked, bitch. Let's do this. About a month ago, while out shopping, my wife and I ran into her height. school boyfriend and his mom on the street. It was a slightly awkward encounter. His mom made a comment

about how good they looked standing next to each other, quote, like it was meant to be. We said we were in a bit of a hurry as we were walking away. He said something along the lines of, quote, hey, we should grab coffee sometime. All in front of her husband is crazy. That is so crazy. I didn't think too much of it at the moment. Sure his mom was awkward, but they'd been broken up for about seven years, and I do think he meant it to just be friendly. But still, we had a quick check-in after, where we both agreed it was awkward and that I wasn't too upset, and that I wouldn't even necessarily mind them meeting for coffee, provided that it became clear if he still had feelings or was making advances that she would cut him out. She wasn't even sure she wanted to. She wasn't even sure

she wanted to take him up on it, so it was all purely hypothetical. That evening, I met up with some friends for drinks and was home by 1 a.m. That next morning, my wife got a message from her friend that her ex had died that night. Girl, you picked that night to come home at 1am? Oh my God, you did it, bitch. You did it. I think you did it. We got a few more details over the next couple of days, but it's, seemed he suffered from epilepsy, and that night in a freak accident had a seizure, fell, and hit his head. What does A-F-A-I-K mean?

A-F-I-A-K? As fuck as it sounds. I don't know. Oh, my God. I, okay, so he had a seizure. Yeah. Oh, so, okay, I'll keep listening. I always do this where I'm like, so then why does the wife think he did it?

As far as I know, there's no foul play suspected or criminal investigation or anything like that. Oh, is that what it stands for as far as I know? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's the most exciting part of the story so far. I'm like, I've learned a new acronym. In the week since, she started acting really strange. She hasn't been abnormally sad that he died, but more like cautious and fearful around me.

She hasn't made any kind of direct accusation, but had been asking me a lot of questions where I went drinking with my friends, who I was with, what time each person arrived and left, etc. She's lately mentioned that she wanted to spend some time with a friend to catch up for about a week. I don't know how to address this. It feels crazy to have to ask her whether she thinks I murdered him. or to have to tell her that I didn't, I'm even afraid to bring it up and whether that would just feed into whatever she seems to be going through. Any thoughts on how to deal with this?

For the record, I didn't murder her ex. I mean, I think that's where you're like, hey, babe, you've been fucking weird this week since that happened. Do you think I killed him? Because that's the vibe I'm starting to catch. I mean, can you imagine you love someone, you trust them enough to marry them, and then like crazy, you know, tragedy happens, but you think your partner did it? What? Like, why if you love someone, why would you think that your partner would kill your high school boyfriend over saying like, we should get coffee?

I mean, I feel like if that's how, like, insane your partner is that, like, you think they're capable of that, there would have been other signs that would make you feel like, hey, red flag. Yeah, you would think. Like, if he's killed, like, a frog and then, like, played around with it, like, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer style, I would be like, okay, yeah, I don't think he's off the suspect list. But, like, if he's just been kicking it this whole time and, like, he was talking like, he was talking, like, he was talking, like, he was talking. Like, yeah, I mean, I don't care if you go and get coffee. Like, no, I don't think you fucking, I think you just say like, hey, girl, what's going on? He seemed like very chill about their encounter. Even with how weird it was, I mean, the mom being like, you two look like you're meant to be.

You look so great. No, the mom toddler and tearing them is like crazy. I would have been like, okay, let me just see myself out. Okay, I'll go fuck myself. Thanks. Like, so strange. Is she acting weird because she saw him again? And now that he's dead, she's realizing that maybe she had feelings for him.

Listen, the brain is on today. Inspector Chris is in the office. He needs to talk to her. I mean, come on. Every guy in these Reddit things are like, I don't know. Like, should I talk to her? And I'm like, hey, man, this is what we've been saying pretty much the whole fucking time. communicate.

Communicate. You feel like what the fuck? Communicate. Which is what the top comment says. You don't need to ask her that. You need to ask her why her demeanor towards you has changed. All caps. Communicate.

God, men are so fucking stupid. Next comment down. Communicate. And then update us on how it went because I am invested. Yeah, I'm hoping that there's an update. Well, we have a little bit of an edit. No idea what it says, but let's see. Edit, thanks for the feedback.

Just wanted to throw a quick update. I am going to ask her when I get home from work. I always knew it needed to be a conversation, just needed to hype myself up to actually do it, and figure out how I wanted to approach it. We'll let you know how it goes. There's an update, right? That was 10 days ago.

Oh my God. What if the girl killed him? Maybe she killed. Oh, my God. Wait, no. Okay, sorry. I'm getting very ahead of myself. I'm, like, creating, like, the next big paramount picture.

There is no official update on the account. What a blue ball? What the fuck? Nothing. Just a couple comments. About like how they got together. We got together in university four years ago, and our first wedding anniversary is coming up in about three months.

They haven't even had their... Oh my God. It's like... Their first year anniversary and there's a murder suspect in it. I'm crying. Opie also says here, I definitely don't feel very secure in my relationship at the moment. Physically safe, sure.

And for the record, I'm quite confident I didn't murder anything. I was where I said I was and I'm like 99% sure the bar I was at has security cameras. I don't think I'm going to end up on a true crime documentary anytime soon. But divorced, possibly. And he has the nerve to comment that but not give us an update. You know what, sir? I take back my advice. Go fuck yourself.

You can go figure out how to handle this situation on your own. What's the point of coming on Beyonce's internet? If you're not going to give us the fucking update, it's been 10 days. If you haven't communicated once in those 10 days, yeah, maybe you should just get a divorce. I hate him. You tell him. You tell him, Chris. I did.

This one, I'm disgusted. Absolutely disgusted. I found out my partner has been putting slugs in my food. I don't know how to forgive him. I've almost heard enough. Yeah. So trigger warnings they add food tampering, psychological emotional abuse, don't read while eating slash if you have a weak stomach. I 22 female have been with my partner 24 male for four years now. I have never known him to do anything like this, but I noticed he started acting a little strange around a month, maybe a month and a half ago.

He started putting fruit on the floor in the garden, and I thought it was a bit weird, but he said he was feeding the mice family and having nested that have nested in our shed. So I thought it was sweet and helped him do so. Anyways, he started being really nice to me around two weeks ago and making me food, baking me cakes and stuff, which he never usually cooks ever, so I was so happy he found a hobby. I did notice sometimes I felt sick and dizzy after eating, and I just put it down to lack of sleep or hormones. Anyways, a friend of my partners came into my work today. I work at a cafe and said he needed to speak to me when I was free.

I was free, as there wasn't any customers at this time. He told me that my partner has been collecting slugs from the garden on fruit he has been putting out, and putting them in my food, blending them up. He sent this friend pictures of bags of slugs that he had collected and the pictures of blended slugs. I feel really sick to my stomach. I don't understand why he did this. This is so out of character of him. I asked him why he was doing it, and he accused me of snooping through.

through his messages, which I would never do and got so angry at me for being not able to take a joke. I feel disgusting. I love him to pieces, but I just don't understand his ways of thinking just now. Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do. I feel lost. Okay. Well, this is, I don't mean to laugh.

Oh, poor girl. Because it's not funny. No, but it's like, it's so fucked. It's just so bizarre. Like, the fact that he was like, you can't take a joke? The gaslighting. Bro, the gaslighting. What the fuck, dude?

You've been feeding me slugs and you're mad that I can take a joke. There's some fucking poisonous slugs out there, dude. Bro, what the fuck? Doug. Okay, first of all. Dog. What the? Pack your shit up and fucking leave this, dude.

That is the most unhinged behavior. I've ever fucking heard. Truly. At least, okay. This sounds fucked, but like, at least when someone's trying to poison you, they, like, are very direct about it. Like, they'll put, like, arsenic in your shit or, like, bleach, because they have a goal. Yeah.

What's the goal of putting slugs in your shit? What's the fucking goal? What is the goal? What's the goal here? Does he want to kill her? It's just so fucking random, like, after four years. I thought they were going to say, like, they'd only been together for, like, a few months. A few months.

Yeah. know him that well. That would be like if my boyfriend, right, because we've been together for four years, that would be like if he started feeding me slugs. In what universe? Like, check him into a fucking hospital, bitch. I think something's wrong. This is, we have lots of updates on this one.

It doesn't get better. True, it doesn't get better. I can't. I can't wait to hear it. It's not good. And I'm just like, I just, I was how you right now. Like, at the end of the day. this girl is okay.

Okay, that's good. That's all that matters. Yeah, the final update is like she's safe, healthy, and alive. Okay, good, good. So she goes on to say on the update, I went to urgent care last night, early hours of the morning, and waited and was finally seen around 6 a.m.ish. I had some tests, and I have a high level of meta-hellied in my blood.

I was kept in for monitoring, and I have some ulcers in my stomach. I was aware of this as I was hospitalized about two months ago for a burst ulcer. originally thought it was stress, but they now said it could be because of the slug poisoning. I could have an infection of some kind as my temperature is high, but they haven't found anything that could be causing that yet. They have checked my heart, and it is fine. I am due to have heart surgery this year, though,

so they're delegating it due to ulcers and infections, and the fact, I keep getting sick, which is okay. I have an appointment to see my cardiologist on the 20th of April. The fucking slugs gave her a heart condition? What? But what? I contacted the police and wrote a statement and asked some questions and was asked some questions. Anyone who knows me in real life, please don't post mine or my partner's name, as the police said it would destroy the investigation. My ex refused to say anything to the police or me. However, he did say he would speak to his friend and only him. He then spoke to me. I was not alone. I was with a friend and his friend too. He confessed to doing random experiments on me slash tests, starting a few. months after we moved in together. It started with spitting on my toast. Then a week later, he replaced my propronol beta blockers with salt, empty capitals. I want to add he was my medication holder, as I have a history of suicide attempts. So he handled my meds and gave them to me.

And that's when he thought it would be funny. He also admitted to these things, swapping my Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages with real meat. I have IBM. and struggle to digest meat, so I became a vegetarian. He also replaced my corn nuggets with real ones. One of my pet, giant African land snails went missing in the summer, and I assumed it escaped since I left the lid open to the box. But he said it had died, so he scraped it out and put it in my curry. I vaguely remember the day he did this as he laughed whenever I went to eat the curry

and got really paranoid. So I put it in the kitchen and stormed off. He then brought it upstairs and told me to taste. And I did and realized he added lots of zilli. And he said he was laughing because he put chili powder in and too much came out. Now I think he must have put the chili in to cover the fact he put my snail in there. What? He also said he rubbed my toothbrush on the toilet but then washed it as he thought that was too far.

What? I feel like this is all a dream. It just seems too dramatic to feel real. I'm unsure what is happening on the legal front. He says he didn't know why he did this and that he loves me truly and that he felt compelled to do it, which I understand as I suffer from OCD

and get compulsions slash impulsions and that he really loves taking care of me and he feels it's his purpose and he didn't mean to cause serious harm. He promises he never did anything to our animals. I think he could just be stressed as I have mental health issues that could have caused something in him to break from that much stress.

I am really sad and sorry for those who I caused concern. Sorry. Be sorry for yourself, girl. I want to kidnap her. Girl. I want to get her out of there right now. That guy is not well. Like he, that will escalate towards.

Murder? Yeah. Like towards actually putting poison in your shit. Murder, yeah. You're a fucking weirdo, bro. Like, also, snails? Like, why snails? Like, pet snail?

Also, that is just like, that's just like, her little body. Yeah, it's like serial killer shit. Like, genuinely to like, and who knows if it actually died? Like, he probably killed it. Yeah, I think he killed it. I agree. By putting it in a boiling pot of stew. Oh, my God.

Bro, what? Can you imagine, like, the craziest thing is moving in. with someone that you're like so certain you know like forwards and backwards you're like oh i know know this person so well and they just moved in together which means they've been together for a long time but then see it's the same pattern where she's like oh well maybe this is on me girl he tried to kill you so no that's not on you it's okay no and also the fact that she has a history of mental illness just kind of shows that he was taking advantage of her for god knows what reason yeah i think he's a sociopath. That's what I think it is. I would agree. I think there's something going on, even her being like,

oh, my own mental illnesses could have triggered this. Like that could be the case. But just because someone is mentally ill doesn't mean they can fucking poison and try to kill you. Dude, there are plenty of mentally ill people in the world that are not trying to kill their partners secretly. Also, to get slugs is there's a fair amount of premeditation in that. That. Like to plan that out and be like, This would be so cool. Like, you got to be real fucking loose between the ears. If you're, like, planning on how you're going to catch snails to blend up. And then you, like, teach yourself to cook so that you can put these snails in your girlfriend's food.

That's fucking weird. My mouth is hanging open. Like, the premeditation, the... Literally. The fact that he, like, he probably had to research how to get slugs. Yeah. How to, like, coax them out. And then the fact she was like, oh, what are you doing with the fruit?

Oh, I'm feeding the neighborhood mice. He's like, oh, when she asked me what I'm doing, this is what I'm going to say. Yeah. Yeah. And then he gets her to like help him poison her. It's not funny. Like, I'm not laughing because it's funny, but I'm laughing because it's just unhinged. It's so deranged.

It sounds so not real. Like she said. Like it is so bat shit, crazy dramatic. But all you can do is kind of laugh. Yeah, because they're like in what. universe does that happen like that's why i said like when people try to like kill you like when partners try to kill each other in those like domestic situations where they try to poison it's real to the point but like slugs that's like a slow burn like how long has he been doing that like

and for how long did he plan to do that like where did he think about snail there's just so many questions that i would have other than like and right back to therapy go right back to therapy rate to therapy. There you go. Straight to a gel. I'm glad you're okay, girl. Oh, my, I hope you get better. Yeah, the final update is like, literally the title is, I am alive.

Hello, everyone. Sorry for those who I didn't get to message back. My messages have been so full. I am alive, but I have been sick with coronavirus. Thank you for those who reached out to me. You have made me feel less alone. Damn. Can't catch a break.

No. I know. Like, every update is like so sad. Like there's one more where she's just like, I am having a really, really hard relationship with food after my partner was like contaminating it. Dude. So now she's like scared to eat everything. Yeah.

Like it's like he kindled an eating disorder probably because of her food aversion now. 100% which is understandable. Dude, that's fucking wild. Like just what a I don't know. Like I guess like if I were heard too other than like the initial trauma, I would be wondering why that happened now. Like why now of all the years that we've been together like that would probably be the hardest thing for me to deal with. Yeah. Like, why now? Like, of all times, like, why now? And why would you do

this to me? Of all people? I got four years. Yeah, man. Oh, my God. You think you know someone and then, like, year four. She said, like, it started a month after they moved in together. But it's like, still, like, year four, like, you know that person. Yeah. You're deeply invested. Yeah. Absolutely. Like, that's why I'm saying, like, you move in with the confidence and conviction of, like, I know this person very well. So everything's going to be fine. It's going to be the same thing as, like, when we're living in two separate places. Oh. Just a first. Just a By now he's a fucking psycho. Oh, girl, I'm glad you're okay.

Yeah. And you know what? You take care of yourself before you get into another relationship. Oh, my God. Yeah, definitely. Like, I hope she's still not with him and they're like, I feel bad. Yeah, and I hope he goes to fucking prison for attempted murder. Charges need to be pressed.

Yeah, he absolutely could go for attempted murder, especially if she develops illnesses from that. Oh, my God. Especially like long, like long lasting illnesses. Yeah. Well, if the slugs were the reason she developed a crime. cardio problem like dude girl get that lawsuit get get it get it get it the least you could do is get some money out of it oh my god I would be going after this man this man would be crippled absolutely

with a lawsuit and in fucking prison jail jail psych ward because he needs help he truly does need help and like I think what you said too isn't like you hit the nail on the head having a mental illness does not make you a bad person yeah and like we don't know if he does have one at all yeah so at this point he is just clearly unhinged. Yeah, actually, though. Like, genuinely, like, you need to be behind bars because you're a danger to yourself and others. He is a menace to society.

Yeah, absolutely. In, like, a very literal sense. Yes. Like, oh, my God, girl. I hope you're good. The top comment on this one is, like, it's a summary post from the best of Reddit updates. And someone comments, we had a local story here about a guy who ate a slug on a dare.

He ended up dying after a long and pretty horrible illness. And then they link the story. Terrifying. I know. And then the next comic goes, also he made her eat her pet snail. Snails are intermediate hosts for a bunch of parasites. Yeah.

He could have killed her. If it's not already in the process, because he was doing it for God knows how long. Dude, oh my God. That's, like, terrifying. That's, like, that shit you see in, like, murder mystery, like, documentaries. Yeah.

You know, like on snapped or something. Oh, my God. This is a true crime waiting to happen. Actually, though. Oh, my God. I hope you're a good girl. I hope you take care of yourself. Oh, my God.

I know. People are fucking insane. Bonkers. Like, actually. That shit bonkers. We do have an update on the story. I found out my partner has been putting slugs in my food. I don't know how to forgive him.

Ooh. That one was wild. That one was terrible. Yeah. Absolutely terrible. Especially what slugs can do to a person. they can kill a person. Like so many people were commenting on the YouTube on that one just being like,

this is so dangerous. People can literally die from eating slugs. They have died. Like some, I think it was a man that ate a slug as a part of like a challenge. And he ended up dying. Wow. So I don't think I read this,

but it goes on to say, just found a jar of four slugs under the sink. My partner must have forgot about. I think they are dead. So can be old ones, but I feel physically sick. and then she actually posted a picture of the slugs. The slugs are the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

And he was putting those in her food? Yep. What the fuck? This is not just compulsion, impulsion. This is like serial killer. This is a serial killer. Yeah. So that was it.

It was just that title. I feel physically sick. And then a picture of the slugs. O.P., please update us. Tell us you dumped him and went to a doctor. And O.P. goes, I have left him. At the doctor now, it's very busy, so I haven't been seen yet. Oh, she's real, real uptime, or real updates. Yeah, yeah, I'm just real time.

She was, she's very in it. In the comments, many are asking if she had gone to a doctor, she has, and has revealed that he did more than feed the slugs. And then people are just like, please stop blaming yourself, this and that. So in the comment somewhere on that post, OP says this. Hi, he was diagnosed with ASPD yesterday and admitted everything to me. and how I was his way of looking normal to the outside world. He manipulated me by giving me everything I wanted as a bipolar disorder sufferer. Love, affection, compliments. ASPD for those that don't know is antisocial personality disorder.

I actually didn't know so I was going to ask. He began testing me emotionally at first with cheating to see how I would react, but I forgave him and then began with food and stuff to see how long until I got sick. I'm still baffled. The person I knew I never really knew at all. He is a psychopath and he gives ASPD sufferers a bad name. He knew I was vulnerable due to my mental and physical illnesses. He became my carer but was torturing me at the same time and I was unaware of any of this.

He rescued me from an abusive situation and then put me into a new one. That is how he works. Oh, that is so scary. And that is actually a good point because Red Flagg, if you. you are in a really abusive situation and you meet a guy who you feel like rescues you from that, be weary. That's all I got to say. Put your guard up.

Put your guard up. And I get like being in a bad situation and needing help, but like someone coming in playing a white night. Yeah. Like rescuing you and then like instantly having like romantic love bombing. You're my soulmate. Yeah. Just be a little weary. It could be real.

It could be totally true. And everything could be great. but it could be this slug situation. So keep your guard up. Keep your guard up so you don't eat a fucking slug. Yeah. This is so crazy. So next post was titled,

I'm struggling to eat fear of food slash no appetite. I recently left a weird relationship with where my partner was contaminated my food, etc. Anyways, ever since I've struggled to eat, I moved into a ground flat and sometimes I will find slugs around the house. I am terrified of them. I keep throwing food away because I don't know what the slugs have gone on.

I'm scared of getting sick. I can't cope or breathe right now. I've tried everything to stop slugs getting in. Copper tape, salt, non-toxic pellets, but they still somehow find their way into my flat. I feel like nature's tormenting me. Any advice, please? I have tried speaking to my doctor,

but they won't really listen, and the doctor I see said it was a good thing as I was overweight anyways. I was just discharged from the mental health team I was currently on. The fuck? The doctor just say? Fuck that doctor. What the hell?

Drop the, drop the clinic. Oh my God. We ride at dawn. Oh, I hate when medical professionals that are supposed to be super trustworthy say some bullshit like that. Absolute assholes. Absolute assholes. One should get fat shamed at the doctor.

Absolutely not. If anything, it's like he should be like, hey, like there's healthy ways to do XYZ. That's great. Healthy advice. But don't be like, oh, you can't eat because you are tormented by. slugs before. That's good. Good for you. Be happy about that. What the fuck? I just watched an episode of or a clip of it's the show about the two sisters like my 600 pound or like a thousand pound sisters or something.

It's about two sisters and they're just, they're very overweight and unhealthy. And they were at a dietitian's office, like trying to get advice or get an opinion, whatever it was. And the dietitian goes, how much water do you drink? And they go water. We don't drink water. We drink pop. Our mom told us water was bad. Oh, no.

And the dietitian was like very surprised. You could tell she was surprised. But she didn't them like, shame them. She was just like, oh, well, okay, well, you should be drinking water. Like, water is not bad for you. Like, we need to get more water. It wasn't like. I also love the pop reference and not soda.

I know. People are going to be confused. In Minnesota, we say pop instead of soda. just so that we don't confuse people with thinking we're talking about Minnesota. Yeah. That was a joke. It was a really bad one. Yeah, I didn't get it.

No. We don't say soda because it sounds like Minnesota. Oh. People use soda as talking about Minnesota. You don't hear that? No. I've never heard that one. You've never heard people say soda as Minnesota?

Yeah, like, it's a clothing brand. There we go. Yeah. So I'm saying that's why we say pop, but it was a bad joke. So I'm going to run that back. All right. Let's move along. So next post is I am alive.

Hello everyone. Sorry for those who I didn't get to message back. My messages have been so full. I am alive, but have been sick with coronavirus. Thank you for those who reached out to me. You all made me feel less alone. I hope everyone is well. And then her account is super, super, super active. So as of yesterday, they're still commenting on different posts throughout Reddit,

very engaged in other things and commenting their advice to try to help other people. So it's really great to see, like, they're good, very active in mental health communities. It looks like based on her comments, very active on the glitch in the Matrix community, just all good things for her. So happy update. Hopefully, you know, with a diagnosis, can get the help he needs because, you know, when you date someone, you're putting a lot of faith in them and you're trusting them. And he was able to play it off like he was a good guy taking care of her.

And lo and behold was poisoning her. So I'm not very familiar with that diagnosis. Anti-social personality disorder. Yeah. So I'm just going to do the Google definition because my brain won't do it justice. People with ASPD may not understand how to behave towards others. Their behavior is often disrespectful, manipulative, or reckless. Management of ASPD can include medication or psychotherapy. A lot of people show symptoms in childhood, but may not be diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. They tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively.

And this is WebMD. So obviously this may be the exception and not the rule. But lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. So I can't believe I've never heard of this before. People with it often struggle to develop or maintain meaningful relationships, and they may cause emotional harm to their partners. But it's still possible for people with ASPD to feel love and empathy, often for a select few people, such as children, partners, or close family members.

I don't know a lot about it either. It's not something I've really worked with. I've worked with mostly bipolar and schizophrenia. But that's that one. Okay, so this one is two months old. coming from R slash am I the X? It's a community to crosspost when people don't realize or can't accept

that they've been dumped by their romantic partner. Unsure if the story actually fits in this sub based on the title though. 36 male, 33 female. He thinks he isn't obligated to tell me about his criminal record. Trigger warning, necrophilia. I recently found out that my husband

was convicted before we met. Four of all the things in this world, necrophilia. Yes, really. I've been utterly disgusted and in shock. Wait, I'm sorry. Necrophilia. So for those that aren't familiar with the term necrophilia, sexual intercourse with or attraction towards corpses. Oh, what? No. Wow. I've heard of that before. I didn't know that was the word. When I confronted him about it, plus also never bothering to say anything, all he would say was that was the past and it didn't matter to the present because he wouldn't do it again. I asked had he ever thought I might want to know something like that or that he'd want to know it about me or anyone else he was thinking of marrying.

He said he wasn't obligated to share anything about his past, including this. I didn't even know what to say to how insane that was. The whole time he was nothing but defensive and angry at me for daring to have a problem with it. So, like, tell me, am I controlling and entitled and everything else he accused me of? Of course you have the right to know about any serious perverted criminal history your partner has and owe your partner the same honesty. That's common sense and basic trust, is it not? I can't believe this was even an argument I needed to have. Yeah. Well, it's obviously not, he doesn't, he's just defensive because what else he's, And how good, yeah.

Basically, I almost feel like I was tricked into this relationship and marriage. Yeah. Because I never got the chance to let it be the deal breaker. It would have been. Yeah. If that makes sense, and I'm certain he knew it would have been. And that's exactly why he hit it. So what the fuck now?

I'm married and eight months pregnant. I'm fucked. I either blow up my life with the man I fell in love with or I find a way to work through this somehow. What should I do? How do I get him to realize he should have been up front early on about something. Everyone knows would be a deal breaker for most people. He'll, exactly. He's never going to admit that. Why would he ever tell anyone that because he knows that it is a deal breaker? You know what I mean? Like, it's like, she's like, how do I get him to realize that? He's not going to because he knows that she'd be gone. And then he wouldn't be have this child on the way. So it's like the most, I mean, honestly for me, that's, it's such, it's not a non-starter.

or like it's an immediate exit. He says it's the past, but that is something that is terrifying to me. I would leave immediately because that's something that sounds that's what, what's the guy who was on Netflix that had a show about him?

Was it Dahmer that would have sex with? I'm not sure I couldn't get through Dahmer. Yeah, I didn't either. But I just know that there was, you know, one of those people that would literally like his victims, he would do that so that he would do that. so that he could have sex with them afterwards. Oh.

Yeah. So that, to me, I would be terrified. I'm, like, nauseous thinking about it. It wouldn't even just be, like, that nauseous alone, because that's the, you know, obviously a part of it. But it would be that I'd be terrified. So I would, I would dip out. I just wouldn't be able to do it.

Like, that's something. I would be done. Is, did he give any background into what happened? Like, how do you even get into that situation? How did he just, like, go into a, I just don't know. I know. Like literally stop in your tracks Do not proceed

Yeah Okay so this was a cross post It originally came from a relationship advice Two months ago Okay The top comment Is I think there's plenty of offenses People can come back from

Or at least explain away But necrophilia isn't one of them Was it one time Is that what they What he's saying Not like it matters But I'm just out of curiosity Yeah let me see

So there are still comments From OP up on their account. I will just read this original comment on the repost that they really highlight. There is an edit from O.P., July 29. I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him. I went to a hotel and still couldn't sleep. I just lay away crying and thinking all night.

I'm going to divorce him because I know I'll never forget this, nor should I. What the fuck is wrong with him? And who did I even marry? Today, I'm going to find a lawyer and find someone I can stay with. I can't reply to so many comments, but we'll try to read at least responses to mine. Thank you more than I can say to everyone who took the time to try and help. I will do everything in my power to make sure my baby is safe from him. So the repost highlights this one.

In the comments, she mentions he worked at a hospital with access to a morgue. Got it. And it was done to a 60-year-old man. Commenters pointed out that for anything minor and maybe forgivable, the charge would have been abuse of a corpse, while necrophilia, is specific pretty to sexual penetration. So he got caught because there was cameras or not, doesn't mention in this comment. It goes on to say it was a misdemeanor in his state.

Apparently, that's common. What the fuck? The crime was found when her judges, all my relationships, mother, did a background check. O.P. is sick to her stomach. Sorry, O.P.'s mother did a background check? Yeah. What?

Did she have a feeling? I don't know. So lots of lots of comments from O.P. Apparently, there's like a lot of people just trying to like dig into this. What about the experience like made him not decide to do it again? Like they really wanted to know like what was the thought process behind this. And that's where O.P shares. He used to work in a hospital with morgue access. He doesn't know why he did it except being young and stupid. He said it was a mistake. Wow. So someone does show. share. I also discovered an extremely disturbing sex crime of my ex-husbands and learned all this through therapy. It will be okay. Once you leave him and have that step back, you will admit many other issues related to this directly or indirectly that are bothersome to you about this man. It will be okay for you and your child, but leave him. It's seriously deviant. And OP goes, what had your husband done and how did you find out? What are some examples of issues I might realize related to it? There's no response from that commenter. someone goes, not adding to your pain, but just something to think about. Was it a dead body of a child? See, we don't even know the disgusting details. I don't think you'd want to raise a child with this sociopath. Right. And OP goes, no, it was a man in his 60s. Both of those are also freaking me out, but obviously way less important compared to the obvious. Yeah, of course. But yeah, but it is an add-on because it's just like, unless he's bisexual, it is kind of like,

Okay, wait, why did you choose a man if you only like woman? Why did, why did the whole thing happen? It's just, it's all so young and dumb. No rational, healthy, sane person would ever choose to have sex and violate a corpse to rape a corpse. How young is he sane? It doesn't mention from what I'm seeing. There is context that they've been married about a year and a half, we're together for two years before.

So three and a half years should be. real easy to move on, especially given this info. Sucks that you have a child with this person. And I'm trying to picture if there's even an age that's young enough to it being like that. Yeah, just being a dumb young idiot. But like I really can't. Like no matter what age you are, it's a red flag. Yeah.

Well, and someone goes, did he legit have sex with a dead body? We need more details. Also, has he given you an explanation as to why he fucked a corpse? No, he raped a dead person. Wild. And Opie goes, quote, I was young and stupid. I fucked up, okay?

His words, he literally would not explain more. I'm not seeing a mention of an age. I mean, he's 36 now. It just, it definitely feels like sociopathic behavior in all the details. I don't even know like the true definition right now.

Like my DSM-5 is escaping my brain. But holy shit, like, I would not be able to trust my child with this person. No. And it's like to be that sick and twisted. I wonder, is she able to take full custody? I'm sure given that criminal record.

But because it was a misdemeanor in the state that he received it, it's really, it's really interesting that it was, yeah, that's messed up. It's also interesting that like a crime like that doesn't put you on a sex offender registry. Yeah. to where she would have found out based on like, hey, you can't live in this neighborhood without notifying your neighbors. Like, it's wild how certain things like this slip through the cracks. Yeah. This is crazy. My estranged family revealed that my loving family-oriented dad was a monster.

And this is coming from the subreddit true off my chest. So they're not looking for advice or anything, just kind of like getting stuff out there. Growing up, my friends would always say that my brother and me had the coolest parents. They were laid back but still involved mom and dad parents. I was especially close to my dad and thought he was the best dad ever. But he made a Hot Wheels dollhouse by hand for my birthday to give you an example. When I wanted to be a supergirl, my mom hand sewed me a costume for Halloween. My parents are a physically affectionate couple too.

And my brother and I thought it was gross when we were kids. but now we realize that being in your 40s and still in love is a miracle. My parents are immigrants, and because of that, we were never really close to their families who lived in their home country. But recently, my brother and I got in touch with some cousins on my mom's side, on our own, and got to know them. They were awesome and really chill. My aunts and uncles and grandparents were a little stiff, but they were nice.

They only wanted to hear about what us and our mom were up to, and not my dad. so I kind of got frustrated and kept mentioning my dad. Finally, my cousin said if we didn't stop talking about our dad, our parents wouldn't let them talk to us anymore. None of our cousins knew what was going on either or why they hated our dad so much. So they all started asking around and digging in a family stuff. I thought it was going to be something stupid like class differences or my grandparents not approving of my dad for some reason. But we found out the truth and it was a lot worse. than what we imagined. My cousins found a single short newspaper article from a digital archive about it. When my dad was young, he kidnapped a university student and kept her for a bit. He was a minor,

so he didn't get named or get real punishment or like anything on his record. I can't look at my dad the same way again, or my mom. Why would my mom marry someone who literally kidnapped and hurt a person? My parents have noticed something off with us, but I don't even know how to bring it up. Oh, my God. We have an update. Oh, my God. I have so many feelings that I just don't know what I would do. This is like my worst fear because my dad is amazing and everyone always tells me how like kind of a debt he is.

And so I'm always like, what if one day I just find out that he has like another family. It's like my worst fear. It's like unlocking trauma. Oh, my God. So I'm also reading this off of like the best of Reddit updates. So there's a relevant comment from the original poster that basically says, it's okay if you don't believe me. It's kind of an unbelievable, horrible thing to happen.

So my cousins know more about this stuff than me or my brother since they actually speak the language and talk to my aunts and uncles about it. One of my aunts made a few kind of vague statements about what happened like him being bad as a teen. And my cousin searched for what she talked about. and they found the article and asked her about it and she basically confirmed. I don't know why he did what he did. The article was really short, only a few lines in their native language. It just said he kidnapped a university student and kept her basically. The victim was a student at a university, so she had to be at least 19 or 20 from what my cousin said.

So she was a woman, not like a girl. I don't know what to think. My cousins don't know much more than me since the older generation has kept it hush, hush. Update. So I tried to bring it up to my dad, but I could. It would really hurt to accuse him of being a monster if he had literally done nothing wrong because it meant that I actually thought he could be capable of doing something like this. So I decided to talk to my mom first. I told my mom everything and she kind of started to justify it saying that my dad was young, stupid, was in love and was mentally all over the place. And then she slipped up and said, quote, he didn't hurt me. And I told her. She was a university student. sorry. And I told her, quote, I thought we were talking about the student he kidnapped. And she kind of became really quiet. She said she had to go and left the room. And then a couple hours later called me

and my brother down to talk to us with my dad. My dad said he knows we know and that it was a horrible thing to do and he regrets it. And he was forgiven, but didn't say much otherwise. I asked them what happened. And my brother told me he didn't want to talk about this. And long story short, this is what went down. She was a student at a university an hour and a half walk away from her home, but she usually stayed in the dorms. Their university had stuff like curfews for women and strict rules, and she was pretty sheltered in other ways, even though she was a legal adult. She was going home for the holidays and it was raining. My dad came up to her and struck up a conversation and offered her a ride home on his motorcycle. He was wearing his school uniform, and he looked

pretty harmless. So she thought it was safe, but he took her to his house instead. He wouldn't let her leave, and she didn't know how to get home. My dad didn't hurt her or threaten her, but he might have done stuff that scared her. And when the maid came, she saw an opportunity and escaped. And then my dad was arrested, but he got slapped with a few months of juvie, but a clean adult record, which is how he was able to come to the U.S. She visited him to figure out why he would do this, and then stuff happened. I kept asking my dad why he would do this, but he'd just being stupid and selfish

and didn't realize that it was scary to her. My mom said what's done is done and that they got over it, and now my mom and dad are in love and happy and that we could go to individual therapy to deal with it further if we wanted. My brother said it didn't matter anymore, and he wishes we didn't know it all.

I can't look at my parents the same way again, and honestly, I agree with my brother. I regret talking with my cousins, and I think my estranged family have a right to avoid my family for what my dad did. I think therapy is a great start. I think no matter what, go to therapy. I love therapy. Unpack it.

Maybe therapy will tell them, give them more guidance. We need a professional here. Yeah. This calls for therapy. I think that's undoubted here. But I don't know. I mean, what's the option you can't forgive your dad and therefore you cut off your parents? Or you go through therapy and you heal these back.

feelings that you might have towards your dad and you live happily ever after and your whole family is happy and healthy. Yeah. I feel like there's more to it. Yeah. Because the family seems kind of the family that doesn't want anything to do with the dad seems very upset. So it almost seems like there's something more that maybe we're not getting. Yeah. So this has flown very under the radar. It was posted 10 days ago. It's from True Off My Chest. Like I said, has only 83 up votes. So the top comment has only 47 up votes. This is all very odd. There must be something missing between your mother forgiving him and her family hating him.

Holy fuck, are you a psychic? I don't know. I'm just intuitive tonight. What is the country in which this happened? My ex-mother-in-law was kidnapped by her chauffeur and kept in the shed for three days. No further violence, no sexual advances. Then she married him. Why?

To save face. Can't disappear with your chauffe. for three days without juicy rumors. This was in the Philippines, in the province, late 70s. Someone else goes, oh, yes, the safe face reason. What does that mean? I guess, like, they're embarrassed? Well, in cultures where, like, if your daughter ran off with a man, she's ruined.

Like, you can't, no one would marry her at that point because everyone assumes. Yeah. That's so sad. Yeah, it's crazy. So someone comments, oh man, I'm so sorry you had to discover this. I have no clue what I would do if my parent had done something like that. I think there would be a sense of distrust or betrayal. Parents should be safe spaces. Somewhere you can go when you need to feel protected, comforted. Learning something like this would forever change my perspective on my parents for the worst. I really hope you can overcome this mental block. Op. Does respond and goes, it feels unreal. Like this is my dad. He tucked me into bed as a kid and told me how to be safe and drove me home from parties and was literally my rock. And knowing that he's literally capable of kidnapping a woman off the streets is insane to me.

And knowing that my mom came up with this BS excuse that he didn't hurt her. So it was fine when she admitted she was terrified because he literally kidnapped her. And she had no idea what he was capable of. I don't know. My head's not screwed right now. Those are all valid points. I think you start to use your imagination and you start to kind of. of like wonder and think of like the worst case and you start to like get very colorful with it.

So I get how that would be really kind of traumatizing. And yeah, I can empathize with that. I'm not at all saying like get over it or anything like that. No, no, no, it's totally valid trauma. Yeah. And it is, I'm putting myself in those shoes and I keep trying to picture my dad doing that. And it would definitely shake me because I have such a high standard of my dad. I have such a like positive image of him. He's never done anything malicious to anybody. So then to hear that story would like, it would rock me a little bit. O.P responds so, so much on this update. Dad was 16 and mom was 20.

Okay. He lived with his grandpa and my great grandpa, who was always out of the country. His side of the family was very well off. Nobody was home because it was the holidays and the servants also got time off. The maid came in the morning to either pick stuff up or drop off and my mom crawled out of a window. Wow. There's one more comment from OP that stands out. My parents were always super supportive of me.

One time this boy was making me uncomfortable in middle school and the teacher told me to ignore him. My dad marched up to the principal and made them move him to a different home room. He's always had my back. Never judged me for clothes or partying or makeup. My mom knew everything about my boyfriends. They let me live my life. That's what's so hard. If I got kidnapped, they'd go nuclear.

But they can justify their own relationship. At least my mom can. That is a very interesting take. And maybe they're that, they were that hard on that boy because of his history. Exactly. And he's like, I did that. I'm not going to let my daughter go through that. Yeah.

Because he feels so much guilt. I don't know. A lot to unpack. A lot. A lot. A lot to unpack. We're like playing detectives here. Okay, friends, this next story is coming from an episode with Michaela titled We're All Spirling.

It was a story about a woman. writing in, Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriend for no reason. She comes to find out that he's actually been tampering with her food. So, this story does need a trigger warning for food tampering, cheating, spreading STDs, and it does contain talks of suicide. So if you can't handle that today, please skip to the next one. Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriend for no reason? Hmm. I 26 female have been with my name. now ex-boyfriend Eric, 28 male, for two years. Overall, we had a good relationship,

nothing crazy, until last night when things completely fell apart. We were out at a bar with some of his friends, just having a normal night. Drinks, food, the usual. Eric and his friend Mark, 28 male, were joking around, and Eric made a comment about how much Mark was eating. Something like, quote, careful, Mark, you'll eat the whole damn bar. It seemed harmless at first. It seemed harmless at first, just typical guy humor. But then, Mark looked right at me and said, quote, if she only knew. It was one of those moments where you instantly feel uncomfortable,

like there's something going on behind your back. I had no idea what Mark was talking about, and the whole vibe at the table shifted. But before I could even react, Eric, my boyfriend, exploded. He went off on Mark, screaming at him to shut the fuck up and even tried to get physical.

his other friends had to hold him back. Mark didn't really react, which only made Eric angrier. The whole thing was awkward as hell, and we ended up leaving early. When we got back to my place, I couldn't stop thinking about that comment. So I asked Eric, quote, what the hell did Mark mean by if she only knew? What don't I know? And instead of just answering me like a normal person, Eric lost it again. He started yelling at me, telling me to drop it, and stop being paranoid? He was dodging every question, getting more pissed every time I brought it up. I wasn't trying to pick a fight. I just wanted to know what was going on. It felt like there was something important being hidden from me, and I wasn't about to let it slide. But every time I asked,

he'd just get more defensive and angry. I'm riveted. What was it? Finally, he stormed out of my apartment. He doesn't live with me, so I locked the door and called it a night. I didn't hear from him until this morning. And when I did, it was just more angry text telling me to drop it and leave him alone. At that point, I was done. I'm not going to sit around and be treated like I'm crazy for asking a simple question. I texted him back saying, we're done. I need space. And if he can't be honest with me, then I don't want any part of this relationship. End of story. Now here's where it gets worse. He's been going around to our mutual friends telling them that I left him for no reason and to make it seem like I'm the one who overreacted.

Some of them have even reached out to me saying, I should have just let it go and that I'm blowing things out of proportion. I told them to mind their own fucking business. I don't care what they think. None of them were there in that moment. None of them saw how he acted. And none of them have to live with the pit in their stomach that I've had since that weird-ass comment from Mark.

I'm not about to stay in a relationship where I feel like something shady is going on behind my back. If Eric can't be straight with me after two years together, then what's the point? So Reddit, am I the asshole for leaving him over this? No. I mean, yeah, if someone was to break it down to just like, she left me because I wouldn't tell her what my friend meant, I guess. I could see why they would react. Like, oh, she left him for no reason. Yeah. But I feel like it's the way that the conversations went after that. And I... would fall for that probably. If someone was like you're being paranoid, I would probably be like, you know what? Yeah, I would probably, I would probably, I would probably be. I'd like to think that now

I've changed, but I've definitely been successfully gaslit in those situations. So many times. I don't have another girlfriend. There's nothing going on. Yeah. No, no, that girl that I was making out with at the bar the the other weekend. No, it was a misunderstanding. Oh, I was like easily convinced to that my boyfriend's phone battery said 12% usage on Tinder this week because he had a glitch. was like, okay, okay. Why do we do this to ourselves, you guys? Why? Wait, okay, what, what was it? I need to know what it was. Yeah. So, top comment, not the asshole. Between keeping secrets and the acting ape shit, it sounds like this experience was the nail in the coffin from some previous red flags. And the fact that it's if she only knew, like she wasn't in the conversation at all. So it's clear that whatever this is, it's something that she would have feelings about or like it's something that would potentially bother her, you know, like for the friend to be like if she only knew, I'd be like, what? Like what is, this is something I would feel strongly about, then what is it?

That's very ominous. And like, I mean, Mark was like clearly offended by the comment. Like, careful Mark, you eat the whole damn. Got aggressive. And then for Mark to then be like, he felt attacked. So then he's going to lowball Eric with if she only knew. And Eric could have just played a cool like, ha ha. Right.

Then it wouldn't have bothered her so much. It never would have been a thing. It would have gone maybe over her head or just like, oh, boys being boys, like, bantering with each other. Yeah. But the way Eric reacted, blowing up, getting physical, trying to get physical, having to have friends hold him back. Yeah.

That doesn't add up. Like that comment from Mark doesn't equal that reaction from Eric. I think it's one of those situations where when you're in it, you have this. gut feeling about it of like this reaction like you know your partner you know the way that they react to things you know like their little movements and I think she had an intuition and like a gut feeling that the way he's reacting to this is something that like is a big deal and it wasn't normal I've never seen him act like this clearly there's something here and then not only that but then to have all of these attempts at gaslighting her after that instead of just being like

honestly, this is something that is really embarrassing from my past and I am not ready to share this with you or something like that because clearly that's the situation. Yeah. Maybe saying something like that would have been fine and they could have resolved it from there and be like, I do trust you and like I want to share everything with you. But, you know, this was just like a really, really embarrassing moment for me. Yeah. I don't know, whatever it was.

And then he like, it's not only the gaslighting and like the verbal. He's freaking out and like trying to make her look bad to people. Just like going crazy in the apartment. And like, I mean, there's no mention of like punching walls, right? I'm not sure. There was definitely like aggression in the bar. Yeah. He lost it again, started yelling at me.

I'm being paranoid. So yeah, no mention of like punching walls. But like it just feels like it was escalating to a point where like it doesn't feel it's definitely not healthy. But it almost is starting to not feel safe. Yeah. Like I would be scared of that. person. And it's like, if this is all over me asking you a simple question, run. Like, that is huge. If you don't have basic conversational level communication with your partner when something

gets brought up or you're uncomfortable or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No. I also just don't think someone can be an asshole for leaving a relationship. I think you can be an asshole for the way you handle leaving a relationship if you lack empathy in it or you don't, you know, have a discussion with that person, or you cheat on them or you bamboozled them. But like breaking up with someone, like you're always allowed to do, like you're allowed to have your feelings change. You could literally just not love that person anymore.

That's an okay reason to leave. Yeah, that's not someone's fault. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that person. Exactly. And it's not like a terrible experience for them, but you're not an asshole for it. No, it's more so like you said, how you handle it. So there is a comment here, not the asshole.

You didn't leave for no reason, but sounds like it's good that you did. If they keep pushing, Tell them to ask Eric what Mark meant. Maybe they'll see it for themselves. That's a good point. That's a good point. Like, bring it up to him and you'll see his reaction.

But maybe now he'll chill out. I don't know. Yeah. He'll act cool about it. Well, we have an update. Thank God. I feel like I'm living in some kind of twisted nightmare. And the more I try to make sense of it, the worse it gets.

Spirbling. Mark called me today while I was at work. I didn't expect him to call me because he was ignoring me. So I stepped outside to take the call. And he told me, me something that I never in a million years could have prepared for. He told me that Eric has been putting other men's semen into my food, drinks, skin care, shampoo, conditioner, and even my toothpaste. Sorry? What the f? Sorry? Oh, my God. He should be in jail. Prison. Straight to prison.

No, there's not anything serious enough on that. There's only divorce and therapy. Therapy, divorce. We need another one. Prison. Goulog. Prison. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not being dramatic.

That's what Mark said. Eric has apparently been hooking up with random men, having them finish into cups, and then using it in my meals and drinks like it's some kind of sick joke. Even as I write this, I'm still in complete disbelief. Who does that to someone?

Mark said he found out about this, a week ago. But for some reason, it took him that long and it tell me, a week. I've been living my life, completely oblivious, trusting Eric, someone I loved while this was happening behind my back. I feel so betrayed, so disgusted, and so violated. When I asked Mark if he and Eric were having an affair, or if this was some sort of twisted thing between them, he swore they weren't. And he even made a gross comment about not wanting to touch Eric because, quote, who knows what diseases he had. that made my stomach turn. I'm getting tested for everything now

because I don't know what's been in my body. That's like... Assault. Yeah. That's assault. That's so fucked up. I, like, this is maybe one of the most evil things I've ever heard in my life. Her partner was doing this to her.

Also, like, the fact... Of two years. Partner of two years. I can't believe also that the friend wouldn't immediately tell her. This is not the kind of thing where it's like you protect your... your friend. Someone's health could be on the line. Absolutely.

You could be like ingesting lifelong, uncurable diseases. This is so fucked up that like even the cheating aspect of it doesn't matter. No. It's like so small in comparison. Cheat on me every day of the week. Don't put the person's bodily fluids in my food. What the fuck?

I can't believe he admitted that. I wonder how he found out. How Mark found out? Yeah. Right. He didn't say how he found. Found out? No, but we're not done with the update yet, so maybe we will. When I got home, I went straight to the kitchen. Mark told me to check under the sink, and there they were, the cups.

Hidden behind the cleaning supplies. I lost my shit. I threw out everything in the kitchen and bathroom, even stuff I knew wasn't touched. I don't care. Everything feels contaminated now. My home doesn't feel like a safe space anymore. Every time I walk into the kitchen, I feel like I'm going to throw up. I can't even function without my mind going to dark places, thinking about all the times I had no idea what was happening. I don't have any solid proof of this. It's just Mark's words and those disgusting cups, and I feel so powerless. If nothing can be done about this, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. How is this even legal?

It's not. How can someone get away with something so vile? I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. This whole thing has been messing with my head in ways I can't even explain. I feel dirty. I feel like I've been violated on such a deep level and there's nothing I can do to undo it. My mom wants me to check into a hospital just to make sure I'm okay mentally and I'm honestly going to do it. I don't feel stable right now. I don't feel like myself and I'm scared I might hurt myself or someone else. Eric was eating the same food. He was eating the food that he had contaminated right alongside of me. Was it a kink, a power trip? I don't even know anymore. All I know is that the man I thought I knew, the man I loved is a complete stranger to me now. I can't believe I've been living with someone capable of something so vile. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know how I'm going to come back from this. How can he do this to me? I'm genuinely losing it. I'm a danger to

myself and I won't be on. I'm going to check myself into a hospital. This is a violation on so many levels. Like, I, I literally can't think of any person on this level besides serial killers. Serial killers. Like psychopaths. This might be the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. I mean, you think about how many choices he took away from her, like the assault, the level of, like, gaslighting. I mean, this is just every level of psychological, physical abuse and torture. And there's no way that like anyone could be friends with him either after hearing this. Like surely Mark will never speak to him again, right? No, he, Mark needs to tell the friend group what he did.

Everybody. Everyone needs to know. This man needs to be put on a registry. This man needs to be in jail. He should never be able to date someone again. This is so terrifying. No, I want O.P to sue for damages. I want him to have to sell his car.

any personal belongings he has before he packs his toothbrush for jail because this could be just devastating. It could have devastating consequences. It's absolutely not legal. And yeah, it makes me so sad how she mentioned like, I don't know how I'll ever trust anyone again. I wouldn't know how I would ever trust anyone again either. And like two years is a significant amount of time to be with somebody and like to trust them and to build a relationship with them. And she didn't mention seeing any red flags before this. I'm sure he was very charming and normal. That's so scary.

Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. I hope she's okay. I'm so glad she's going to get treatment. Absolutely. And you need to. I mean, my brain, my brain would shut down. Like, I would go catatonic.

I don't. I'd have trouble, like, drinking and eating things. Any response after this is valid. Like, yeah. I mean, the desire to like. Trouble dating, trouble trusting, trouble eating. trouble. Absolutely. And like her being like, I'm scared. Like I'm going to hurt myself. And it's like, I don't, God, no, you do not do not do that. You did not deserve any of this. And then it's like, but I'm scared of I'm going to hurt someone else. And it's like, yeah, you don't want to then retaliate against Eric and do something to where like you're in jail behind bars because, you know, like you want to get the justice you deserve. And so when I got this emailed to me, me. I literally thought the person that emailed it to me was like the person that was writing this.

Oh, wow. And so I was like, um, you what the fuck? Absolute psychopath. You should try to press charges. See if Mike would give the police a statement and honestly keep those cups. I'm so sorry you're going through this. And then I, you know, I was so panicked. And then I realized, oh, it was just like someone forwarding another story. Someone forwarding me the story. So looking at the thread, though, someone have the same concern of like, wait, wait, wait, wait, get the cups, get the cups out of the trash. Yeah. Because O.P. was like, I threw everything away. Everything in the kitchen, everything I tossed. And so someone was like, it was only two days ago that you posted this. Go get all of the items you threw away out of the fucking garbage and turn them into the police. There's your solid proof. You threw it away.

And by the way, it is not legal. If those items are tested and come back positive, he is going to jail, not the asshole. I hope you get justice. Yeah, he is a danger to society. Like, I honestly after this, if I knew who this was, I would dedicate my life to making sure if he ever pops up on any dating app, he's reported to the platform, like any social media. Like, he shouldn't be allowed to date women. There's, or men. No one. He shouldn't be allowed to date anybody. No. I don't know if he like specifically has like a, like a sex thing where he likes doing this to women or if this is just something he would do to anyone. How do you even start initiating this?

How do you, how sick do you have to be? And the other people also like engaging in willfully giving them. I know, what does he say to these people when he's collecting their sperm? What, like, what is he, what is the excuse he gives for, hey, can you come into this cup? Shirley. I want to drink it later? I don't know. There's no way he's telling them what it's actually for.

I don't know. I hope not. Because then there are a lot more evil people out there. It's really, it's a scary thought. So OP does respond to that comment. Everything I threw out was in the kitchen garbage so it didn't get taken on trash day. My mom and my cousin went to the house with the police to get it for evidence. I'm pressing charges against him. Thank God. Thank God. That's the last comment we have from O.P. So I'm hoping, you know, we get an update. It has been 14 days. that comment was 11 days ago. So I would assume based on what we had in the update, like O.P. is maybe in an inpatient program, you know, getting some help because I would be spiraled. I would be corkscrewed down to the core of the earth after this. Yeah, this, I hope that she can get through this.

Like, she did nothing wrong in this situation. This is an insane thing to have happened to her. But of course she's going to feel violated. going to have trust issues. She's going to have PTSD. There are going to be so many things that like so many lasting effects from this. But I hope that it gets better over time. And like a little, I hope justice helps as well. Yeah. And sounds like a good support system. I mean, mom and another family member like going over to the house with the police so OP didn't have to do it. Like good support system by the sounds of it. So I really hope she comes out of this okay. As okay as you

can be after such an insane situation. All of those friends that he was turning against her will now for sure not be taking a side. No, I would one million percent be writing up this story or like sending them the Reddit post. The gall to be contacting everyone you know

saying she broke up with me for no reason when he knows that Mark knows what he did and like what the thing is. Did you not think you were opening a can of worms? Yeah, so insane. Just the audacity to be contacting all those people like that. I think that shows how unhinged he is, though. Yeah. I think that shows his mental state and that, like, he truly felt so powerful.

Yeah. That, like, nothing was going to blow back on him. Mm-hmm. Scary, shit. Scary man. Scary man. So this is the new update on the same post coming five months later. After everything happened, I completely broke down.

I stopped eating. I stopped sleeping. I barely even felt like I was a person anymore. My mom was terrified and she practically forced me to go to the hospital. I tried to put it off for a couple of days. I got worse. She was scared I was going to do something to myself. And honestly, I don't blame her. I wasn't okay. I was so far from okay. I felt like my entire world had been flipped upside down. I couldn't even think straight. I just kept replaying everything in my head over and over again, trying to make sense of it, But nothing about this makes sense. Nothing. I ended up staying in the hospital for a week.

The doctors were kind and they did their best to help me, but there was only so much they could do. They couldn't erase what happened. They couldn't make it not real. At some point, I just felt like I was wasting space. I knew there were other people who needed that bed more than I did, people who were physically hurt, people who could actually be helped. Because what happened to me, there's no fixing that. No amount of therapy, no amount of medication, no amount of time is ever going to undo it. I know that now. So I left. I'm back at my parents' house now, staying in my old childhood bedroom. It feels so strange, like I've stepped back in time, like I'm a teenager again, except I'm not. I'm an adult, and my entire life has just exploded in front of me, and I don't

even know how to pick up the pieces. My cousin is here too, staying in the guest's room, And honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. She's basically my sister, and she hasn't left my side since I got here. I know she's worried about me, even though she tries not to show it. I don't blame her. I'm worried about me too. The police actually took things seriously. I was scared they wouldn't, that they would laugh at me or tell me I was crazy, but they didn't.

I could see it on their faces. They believed me. They went to Mark's house to get his full story, since he had blocked. me the day after everything went down. That hurt more than I thought it would. I thought he was my friend. I thought he cared about me. But the second things got hard, he ran. But now I know the truth, and I finally have the full story. That night, when Mark and Eric were drinking together, Mark went to change the music on Eric's phone. While he was doing that, a message popped up from Lewis. Yes, one of the friends that told me I was overreacting.

The message said, quote, good night, I love you, with a heart emoji. Mark thought it was weird, Lewis and Eric weren't that close, so he scrolled through the notifications and saw a bunch from Grindr. At first, he thought it was maybe just a joke. Apparently, Eric used to go on Grindr as a joke back when they were younger and having sleepovers. But the more he scrolled, the worse it got. There were so many messages.

Mark said his stomach dropped. He felt sick. He never suspected that Eric was actually gay. He never even considered it. But in that moment, everything started to click. And then he realized something else he had trusted with Eric. He had changed in front of him, slept next to him, shared things with him, and suddenly he felt violated. So he confronted him.

That's when Eric broke down. He started crying, begging Mark not to tell me. He told him everything. Every disgusting detail. Mark said he just stood there, frozen. unable to move. He didn't know what to do. He told Eric to calm down and go to bed. Eric passed out drunk, and the next morning, neither of them spoke about it. But then that night at the bar, when Eric made the comment about food, knowing that Mark had struggled with body image issues his whole

life, that was it. That was the breaking point. That's why Mark reacted the way he did. That's why he snapped. And now, for Eric. I don't even know how to say. say this, so I'm just going to say it. He's dead. After everything came out, Eric completely shut down. His mom said he wasn't eating, wasn't showering, barely left his room. She thought he was just processing everything, so she left him alone. She would leave for work in the morning, and he would still be asleep. She'd come home at night, and he would still be in his room sitting there in the dark, smoking weed. She said he hadn't smoked since high school, so she had no idea where it even came from. Then one night she woke up to a loud thump.

She went to check on him, and that's when she found him. She was the one who found him, alone. I don't even know how to process that. As much as I hate him, as much as I will always hate him, I felt bad for her. No mother should have to find their child like that. No one deserves that. I'm not continuing the investigation.

I don't have it in me. His family has already been through enough, and honestly, his death was my closure. That probably sounds awful, but it's the truth. He was a terrible person. He ruined me. He gave me AIDS. I'm never going to be the same again. I will carry this for the rest of my life. I wish I'd never met him. I wish I could erase him from my memory. I dread the day I die because that means I might see him again. And then there's Lewis. He's hiding. He's blocking everyone, avoiding all contact. And at first, I didn't understand why. But now I do. He was involved. He was one of them. I didn't even consider it at first, but the way he's acting now, it's obvious. And if he was, he's either going to jail or getting hit with my car. And I'm fine with either. That's all for now. Sorry if this isn't the update you wanted, but this is my reality now. I'm so angry. The thought of death doesn't even bring me

peace because he ruined that for me. There's so much more to this, but I don't think it's really for you guys. It's mostly just police stuff. Eric's family wanted me to attend his funeral. And then there's the whole situation with Lewis. Also, Mark tried to sleep with me. Thank you so much for the support, and I'm sorry it took so long to update. I wasn't okay.

I'm still not, but I'm doing better. Your comments and messages kept me going. I love you all. O.P., if you're out there listening, we are all sending you so much love and support. And you guys out there, if you can relate to this in any way, whether it's dealing with a health battle or dealing with a partner that has done something similar to you,

reach out to O.P. And offer some support because clearly it made all the difference. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from R-slash-relationship advice. My 28 male girlfriend, who recently became my fiancé, 25 female, apparently stalked me before we started dating. How do I deal with being creeped out by her now? Oh my God. Isn't this like the premise of a couple different movies?

Is this you? Joe Goldberg? Which, by the way, I am watching right now. I can't get enough of it. It is so trashy. I love it. A little over three years ago, I moved to a new city for work. About this time, three years ago, I moved into a new house in the city. The house was perfect. It had a pool. I loved to swim. And there was a running trail that went around the neighborhood. I loved to run outside. For the first month or so, I had little interaction with the neighbors other than a friendly wave or how are you? Shortly after coming back from one of my runs, two women, my fiancee, who will call Kim and her sister, Lisa, knocked on the door and introduced themselves. My fiance's sister lived across the street with her husband and their two kids.

We made casual small talk, which in retrospect, I think, was intended to ascertain if I had a significant other. But in any case, they ended up inviting me to their Fourth of July cookout that was coming up. I said I might stop by. Fourth of July comes, and I was just planning to stay at the house. Late afternoon, Kim and Lisa stopped by and plead with me to come over and have a burger. I decided to go over.

I stay for a couple of hours. Kim asked me a lot of questions, and I spend the bulk of that time just answering Kim's questions. After this experience, I start to see Kim regularly when I'm out and about. There's a grocery store near the neighborhood

that I would see her there at. I also would see her pretty regularly at a nearby coffee shop that I started frequenting. Every time she tries to initiate a conversation. About six months into living there, I'm doing a run on a trail around the neighborhood. I see Kim. She flags me down. She said that she lost her phone and asked if I can call it. I call and we don't hear anything. She then asked if I can walk with her along the trail to help her look.

I do. We walk for about 15 minutes and I keep calling. She eventually finds it covered by some leaves a little way off the trail. Shortly after this experience, she offers to take me to lunch as a thank you. I see no harm in that, so I say yes. We go to lunch. She seems to have similar interests to me, and we have a good conversation. Shortly after that, we start dating. Our relationship progresses. About a year ago, she moves in full time with me and my house. About four months ago, we get engaged. About a few months ago, one of her friends found out that her boyfriend that she was living with was cheating. Some days later, she came over to the house. I worked on finishing getting the pool ready for the season, and they got lubed up on some wine.

They were sitting on the back patio while I was working and talking really loud. Mostly, it was the standard, F that dude for cheating. At one point, Kim asked me to get them more wine, so I did. After bringing it back, they started talking about me. After a while, Kim's Fred said something like, quote, I just need to start stalking a good one. Kim's response was, quote, I can give you the stocking to get your man 101 course.

and then talked about figuring out a guy's schedule, showing up to the places they are, and finding excuses to talk to them. And about the fact that it might take a while. They talked about this for a while, and were laughing about it the whole time. Her friend stayed over and we had a pretty chill night. The next morning her friend left.

What she said about the stalking really bothered me. So I asked about it. She tried to play it off as a joke, but said that she did do that stuff with her. me. She figured out when I would go running, go to the grocery store, go to the coffee shop, et cetera, and would be there. She had been trying to get me to ask her out for months. After that did not work, her and her sister came up with the lost phone plan on the trail. Hearing all of that really creeped me out. Kim did not see the big deal. She apologized, but she does not see the

problem with what she did. It really has me second-guessing everything. about the relationship. Wow. I feel like I have conflicting thoughts about this. Okay. Because I think that on one hand, they got engaged. So the relationship did end up being fine. Unlike Joel Goldberg, she didn't murder anybody.

So she, oh, she ran into her crush at the local coffee shop and was like, oh, I think he goes. It's almost, there's something almost juvenile and innocent about it, even though, yeah, If the gender roles were reversed, I would probably feel differently. But I think that there's something fun and flirtatious about it and maybe harmless. I don't know. I don't know. I'm really, really curious how she figured out these habits. Yeah, that's a good point.

Was she sitting in a bush outside his apartment? Or did she go to the coffee shop every day and work there and just hoped he'd show up? And, oh, he showed up today at 10. I'll come back tomorrow at 10. Like, how do you get a meat cute and get that traditional, I met him at a coffee shop, I met him at a bar, unless you're putting yourself in those places. But the context of how insane she went would matter. To me, it's like, yeah, how insane is too insane? Like, let's say you have a question somebody and you're like, oh, like, I know that they're a regular at this coffee shop.

Like, I'm going to go and see if they're there. And then they're like, oh, yeah, they think they kind of work there every morning. Like, well, I need my morning coffee. I guess I'll stop by at that coffee shop. And maybe I'll see him there. But maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just get my coffee. Like, is that crazy?

So we do have some comments from OPEE. There's only a couple. They do live in the U.S. OPE's from the South. We now live in the Midwest. So O.P. says, no lie about activities as far as I know. Because I think a lot of people,

especially with OPE being like, I'm unclear about the relationship as a whole. Yeah. Because if someone's stalking you and they're changing themselves so that you like them, that would be weird. Yeah, right.

That would be totally weird. I hate horses. And my fiance is like, I hate horses. Yeah. Oh, my God. Disneyland, gross. All things I love. But O.P. says she does hate running outdoors and only did it because I would use the trail.

But she figured out without telling me that I went to the grocery store twice a week, a big shop early Sunday afternoon, a smaller shop on Wednesday after work. If she could, she would get dressed up, put on a cute outfit and makeup, and then go grocery shopping during those times. She would also drive past her work to go to my coffee shop in the mornings when I would usually be there. One of her friends works there and would tell

her when I showed up. That, but okay, yes, that, like, on paper does seem weird. But I'm also like, isn't this the classic like, oh my gosh, yeah, you're guys here. Like, you should come get a latte and say hi. If my girlfriend didn't do that, I'd be pissed at her. Yeah, it's like, it's flirtatious and harmless.

If she was like, so I waited by his car, Chalie came out to his car. Like, yeah, that would be weird. It's honestly reminds me the thing of, like, flowers sent to your work by someone you have a crush on, adorable, sentimental. Flowers sent to your work by somebody you don't have a crush on, horrifying. Serial killer. I have a feeling people are going to have a lot of hot takes on this one. Yeah, because it's, I get the concern.

I being like, no, it is fucking weird. Like, whatever. Gender flip it too. And I'm like, but again, she's not putting an air tag on his car. She's just like trying to. meet him and like have him catch a hint and ask her out, which, girl, you could have just asked him out. Yeah. Like, don't let the gender roles and those stereotypes keep you from asking someone out.

Totally. But what do you've even been interested? Like, you kind of had to play this long game for him to even ask you out. It's like going to his house and trying to get him over the Fourth of July thing, like not crazy at all. No. Like, that's totally normal being like, I have a crush on the neighbor. I want him to come over to my sister's thing. Oh my God.

So many people see a. hot guy walking their dog and are like, he's so hot. I've literally, this was in high school, I used to rollerblade by this hot guy's house in my neighborhood. Oh yeah. Constantly, hoping he'd see me out. Never worked. My girlfriend was friends with him. Like, oddly, they started talking on Instagram way back in the day. And I was like, Katie, will you please like ask him out for me for my birthday present? All I want for my birthday is a date with him. And she fucking did. Didn't happen in high school, but I ended up hooking up with him in college. Yeah.

And he dated for a while. See, there you go. But I'm like, I used to rollerblade past his house constantly. And I told him that. Yeah. And he was like, you did? I was like, yeah, I thought you were so cute. But see, that's, they're so harmless.

Like, I really think it's so harmless. And it's, like, kind of adorable, you know? Like, the idea that being like, you know what it is? I think that O.P. There's a little bit of a, like, wow, am I just so unbrivol? unbelievably hot that like, while she really stalks me, like that it bothers me about it, the writing of it being like, yeah. And then like she's drunk with her friends and she reveals her whole plan that I was the hottest guy in the neighborhood that she stalked to find.

It's like, well, no, she had a crush on you. Then you guys like fell in love and got engaged. Yeah. Well, and it wasn't like a stranger. Like she was genuinely interacting with you in normal ways too. Like the Fourth of July thing is a great example where it's like, no, she invited you over to try to get to know you, she just didn't want to ask you out. She wanted you to ask her out. And it took a while to get there. O.P. really does have a problem with the word stalking, though, because there's a couple other comments. Like, she orchestrated her schedule to go grocery shopping when I did, go to a coffee shop I did, started using the running trail around the neighborhood, and she hates running outside. She has described her behavior as stalking and still does today. She

just does not see it as a big deal. I think it is the word. I think it's the word stalking. I stalked him. Right. I had a crush on you, so I went to places I thought I might see you,

right? I think it's also that if you went to a coffee shop because the person you had a crush on might be there and they aren't there. Like, that's just as normal as you going there and running into them. The phone story is the only one

that's like pretty weird, but I think it's weird and it's like, oh yeah, that's totally weird that you did that because you had such a crush on this person that you pretended as you lost your phone. Like, that's totally weird.

Yeah. That's a little aggressive. It's totally aggressive. But it reminds me of the Jim and Pam thing in the office where he's like, remember that summer you taught me how to drive stick? I've been driving stick since high school. It's a little bit like, you know, it's like a white lie. Yeah, it's like a white lie to spend time around this person. And it's like, well, no, like, is Jim a stalker?

I don't think so. I think it's just like, yeah, it is a little white lie and I get that. But it almost feels like he's being like now her whole thing has changed. And I think it's sort of it's just like she had a crush on you and she was head over heels and it. It just depends on the context you're looking at it. Yeah. Well, and I think too, where's the line? Like the formal definition of stalking, a pattern of repeated unwanted attention, harassment or contact directed at a specific person that causes them to feel threatened, intimidated, or distressed. I think it's also the unwanted. If she had asked him out and he had been like, no, I'm not really interested. And then she was showing us. up, it would be different. That would be really, that's like where I'm like, okay, no.

Yeah, no. You turned her down. Right. Then it became unwanted, repetitive. Like, I think also, like, the part of this that is, that rings a little bit strange to me is like, he's like, so basically I just answered her questions all night long. And it's like, are you sure you weren't like also kind of, like, this is the person that you got engaged to?

You sure you weren't a little bit flirting back with them at the like, like, I think it's, it puts all the onus on this person. instead of being like, yeah, I went to this barbecue and I had a really nice conversation with this one of my neighbors. Like, that is rewritten as she asked me all these questions. I just spent the whole night answering her questions. I think that is a little bit disingenuous.

Considering that he eventually went to be engaged to this person. Yeah. You know? Like, do you like her even? Do you like her even? Or did you just like the attention she gave you? Yeah, that's interesting. Like, do you like her?

Right. I don't know. I don't, I think this. honestly, though, will be relationship ending for O.P. Given how he feels about it, which... Yeah. Your feelings are your feelings at the end of the day. Yeah, totally.

I think this is a good opportunity for her to be like, well, yeah, like, that's how I found you, but like, if you don't love me now, then the relationship, then we shouldn't be together. But I think that, you know, I sense, I smell just a little hint of him being like, wow, I'm so awesome. You stalked me. Like, I probably could do, like, somebody else probably liked me that way or something. I don't know. I don't know why I feel that way. I know. Well, a lot of comments,

they're all over the place. Yeah, and I'm, by the way, again, I'm happy to be proven wrong in the comment. This is a lot of ways you can look at this. I'm not personally attached. Don't yell at me. Don't be that. Don't be at me. So someone goes, I don't know.

I mean, the way you framed it obviously sounds like a stalker, but if it were framed slightly different, this would just sound like you met a cute girl who lives in your town and started dating. Yeah. I'm not saying she didn't stalk you, but you describe situations where she asks you a lot of questions about yourself, as one does when they're attracted to a person.

and wants to get to know them, and you seemed willing to provide the answers without any problem on these occasions. If you weren't, and she was getting your info via another method, then I would see a big problem, undeniably, showing up at your spots is weird, no matter how you dice it. But if I live in a same city as a man I'm attracted to, and he told me he goes to X grocery store on Tuesdays for a few minutes from my house, and I have Tuesday off, well, honey groceries too. So frankly, I see no issue with doing my grocery run on a Tuesday in hopes that I might see him and strike up a conversation. There's bounds to it, but hopefully you get my point. I think it's important to to note O.P., whether or not your girlfriend lived in this town before she met you and moved in with you,

or if she spent a lot of time at her sister's home before you moved across the street. If not, then it's weird. If so, then I think she was drunk and chose an unfortunate choice of words. But ultimately, you get to decide what you're comfy with or not. Yeah, right. It's like, I do feel that ultimately it is up to him to be like, how do you feel about it? If this is too weird for you, then don't get married. But I just sort of am, I think there's a lot of situations that probably are very similar to this that people would just describe it as normal. Like, is it weird to look somebody up on Instagram

and see, like, what their past relationship was if it's in the Instagram thing? Because everybody does that. Yeah. And that's, I think, just a facet of dating in the internet world. But, you know, it would be weird to be like, okay, what's their address?

Let me look at their address. Okay, now I'm looking at street view. Like, there is always a line, and I think it's the malicious. It's like what crosses over the line to being malicious or make you feel scared, intimidated or threatened or something.

Yeah. Someone responds to that and they go, hey, you're fucking weird for not disavowing this. That person was downvoted negative 28. The previous comment had 427, so more positive versus whatever. Yeah. And the person responds to goes, I'm weird for thinking critically. OP literally hasn't given enough info for strangers on the web to discern whether or not this person is a stalker. I'm more concerned that you think you have the info to make blanket statements about a situation.

O.P. responds. All I know is that she orchestrated her schedule to go grocery shopping when I did, coffee shop, whatever, they read that comment. She has described her behavior as stalking. And the same person responds, okay, so you have your answer. What exactly do you want everyone here to do? Agree with you and sob and shit on your partner?

Not the point of this sub. But it doesn't sound like you need advice either. You seem pretty set on how you feel, so you should already know what to do. That's good point. O.P. says, I came here to see if anyone has had a similar experience and figured out ways to work through it or has some solid advice on how to work through it. If I did not want to work through this,

there would be no reason to come here. I do not have my answer. I do not think simply telling posters get over it is the point of this sub either. But I don't think that they said to get over it. I think that they just said like, you know, it's the way you slice it. You can look at it two different ways. And so someone replies to O.P. and says, I think you need to ask more questions from her. Did she park outside your house and watch you? Did she drive behind you undetected so she could pop out at the right times to determine your schedule? Did she make up lies about her interests or herself in order to package herself like a product she wanted to sell you? If so, you might feel a certain way about that. Did she fish for info in order to design opportunities to connect? Was she persistent in placing herself in front of you until you saw her as an option? That feels very different. and if she's still fundamentally the person you got to know and fell in love with, I'd be grateful that she was so persistent. This, mostly to me, would hinge on if she's really the person she's presented herself to be or if she was crafty in creating opportunities to present herself to you.

Yeah, that I think is the line there that was like, if she's the person you fell in love with still, then I don't think it necessarily matters how they fell in love. But I also think, you know what it is? There is something about the writing of the way he tells the story that is a purity test as if he's never done anything that toes the line between like, yeah, I was a little while. I had a crush on this person and I looked them up on this way. And I am sort of in mind that I think everybody has a, you know, not everyone's a perfect person.

We've all kind of, you know, okay, hello. But we've all done things that are sort of in the morally gray. And by morally gray, I don't mean like, you know, keying their car. I mean like, yeah, like I like, you know, yeah, sure. I found the, I saw that they liked this coffee shop on Instagram, so I decided to go there in case I ran into my crush. Yeah. Like that's a pretty normal, but a little bit weird thing to do around somebody you have a crush on. Absolutely. Comments are kind of going crazy on it. I know. People do ask, like, why not go to couples counseling? Sure. Which I think is a great idea. Yeah, definitely. O.P does respond though. She has zero

interest in doing that. She feels no need to discuss this further. She thinks I am being completely ridiculous. I mean, yeah, when you're in an argument, not a, not a good way to sort of work it out with your partner, but yeah. No, and the response to that is dismissing your feelings like that is a huge red flag. Yeah. And I agree. And it is understandable that she would be defensive and maybe embarrassed now knowing his reaction. But if you're not going to address your partner's feelings, then that is a big concern. Well, you know, it's like they say that crazy people don't wonder if they're crazy. It's like you, like, if you were gut-checking being like, oh, my God, is this crazy?

Like, no, I just did something totally crazy. It's like, what you, that's good to do. Like, if she's like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I'm going to the coffee shop. And then he's like, wait, you stalked me. And she's like, no, I know it was totally crazy. I'm sorry. I had a crush on you. Like, I get it.

I totally get it. I just wanted to be, like, that would be a normal way to kind of get through it. But I think by her being like, I don't want to discuss any further. I didn't do anything wrong. Then it's like, oh, maybe that is a... Maybe that actually is bad. Now that I'm like, mm-hmm. Yeah, you can't def-everybody acts morally gray, but you can't pretend that it's not.

Exactly. You know? Well, especially because O.P. does say, too, which this is interesting, O.P. didn't even get that she was interested in him because, and this is quote from their comment, because the level of engagement she showed is just politeness where I'm from. So I took it as politeness. Hmm.

Okay. So it's like she really was just kind of being nice and in front of him. Yeah. But then I'm like, girl, why didn't you just ask him out? Yeah, on some level you have to just kind of bite the bullet and be like, hey.

Ask him out versus you're spending a lot of your time showing up at all these places. To be spending all this money on groceries, on coffee. I know. Damn. Make it out home. Someone does say she was interested in you. Why didn't she ask you out? Some women think that a man has to ask them out and will go through lengths to try to plant the seed in their heads. It's 2026. Women are allowed to ask men out too, L.O.L. I prefer that she'd take initiative rather than try to manufacture some scheme to get me to ask her out. That's happened to me multiple times as an adult and it feels childish every time. So good note for those out there. Just shoot your shot. Shoot your shot.

Don't stock. Don't stock. Don't stock. Shoot your shot. And that's merch. Like, okay. But I do think like there is a lot of comments pointing out like if gender roles were reversed, people would tell you to run. And, you know, hey, there's a lot of validity in that too. I think also, again, it's up to him.

If he feels weird about it, then he feels. feels weird about it. You know, we're not in the situation. So I could be like, he's writing the situation in a way that, you know, he was never into it. But also, if he was just like, no, I got a weird feeling by it and actually made me recontextextualized some things. It's a little strange. Then that's strange to you. And you either have to work it out or you have to leave the relationship. And I, you know, respect to that. What would you do if you found out your wife had done this? I wouldn't be that surprised. No, I think I just, I mean, my wife is like, you know. How did you meet? We met at a party organically, or so I thought.

But no, we actually met at, it's a good example of, like, go to the party. Like, it was a party that I was not going to go to. And I'm like, you know what, it's Friday. I'd moved to L.A. not that long ago. And I went, and it was a friend of mine from high school's roommate's birthday. Oh, my God, like such a mutual. Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I'll go to that.

And then I was going to, I was there for an hour. And I was like, I'm kind of tired. I want to go home. And I was like, you know what? I don't know that many people. Let me stay for him. One more hour. And then I met her and then we like, you know, within two weeks we're dating each other.

And then I moved in after three months and, you know, we were married. Oh my gosh. You, yeah, you knew. I know. Well, it was three months thing is funny because I was like, I also was, we were both unemployed and like didn't have any money. So we were like, I mean, I can move in. I wasn't on a lease or anything. I was like, let me just move in.

And she was like, that's great. Like, we like clearly love each other. But like, if this doesn't work out, I guess you just leave, you know. True. So it was like there wasn't that much wrapped up in it. I didn't have any stuff. I, you know. You really just came out here on a hope and a dream, huh?

I'm hoping a dream, yeah. Because I was working at BuzzFeed when I first moved out to LA and then I got laid off. It was like, like my program ended and I didn't get rehired. So I was like, all right, well, I guess they'll fall in love. And then I did. That was magical. Yeah. I don't know what I would think.

I guess if it was these specific examples, I'd just be like, ah, I get it. I'm really cute. He tried. But if it was like following me in a car and sitting in a book, Bush. Yeah. Like now I'm like, I'm married. I'm in it seven years deep.

Like, but even if I found out when I was engaged, I don't know. I don't know how I would feel. It's just like. Yeah. You'd have to have been, I think in my mind, no one detail could re-contextualize the entire breadth of our relationship. So I think it'd be like, oh, that's kind of weird. But like, I don't think I would be like, oh my gosh, my reality is shattering.

Like, every single thing about you I don't know is true. And it's like, you would really have to be a sociopath, like a complete sociopath or psychopath to have, you know, we have so much time together that nothing could re-contextualize all of it. But I also, I think my wife is like insane in the best way. I think I'd just be like, oh yeah, that makes sense. I'm so curious what all of you think out there. Would you even consider this stalking? Like I'm like, I'm so curious if this is even stalking. I'm not invalidating OPE's feelings. but I'm so, I need all your thoughts on this one. This next one is coming from our slash relationship advice. It is titled, My 30 Female, Husband, 33 male,

accused me of murder out of the blue. How do I salvage this? Well, that is a big jump from the last story. This is long and ridiculous. Sorry. My 30 female husband, Luke, 33 male, had a sister, Laura, 2019. female. We were all close and saw each other two to three times a month along with their parents.

Almost six months ago, Laura fell down the stairs at their family home and died. It was a freak accident. There's a window on the half landing and she hit her head on the sill. I was the last person to see her. I was there for less than 10 minutes and she was in her pajamas making coffee. I didn't even stay for a drink. And I struggle with how such a breeze and meaningless interaction could have been her last. She deserved so much more. My husband and I have only been married for a year, but we've been together for four, and I've known each other for 20 plus. When Laura's parents found her, they called my husband straight away and we rushed over. We faced the whole thing as a family. And the days after,

Luke started quizzing me, exactly what we had talked about, what she was wearing, where we were It progressed to saying I was providing conflicting information. On tiny details, he was deliberately misunderstanding and accusing me of withholding information because I couldn't tell him things like what pajamas she was wearing. This escalated quickly, but lasted for less than a week, as I lost my cool and made it clear that I was done answering questions. He didn't bring it up again, and I wrote it off as grief. behavior was generally that of a normal grieving person. Last Friday, he outright accused me of murdering her in front of his parents.

Out of the blue, we were all stunned. There was an inquest which recently concluded and there was never any doubt the verdict would be accidental death. He said it was completely obvious and he couldn't believe that no one else could see it. He claims I went through his phone and found his messages with Laura. I have absolutely no idea what messages he's talking about. I've never looked at his phone. And that I went over to confront her and things, quote, got out of hand and I pushed her downstairs.

By the end, he was shouting about going to the police and getting the inquest overturned and how I wasn't going to get away with it. Let me be clear. Laura and I had a great relationship. We all did. I have no idea where this has come from, other than the other than that. these messages I haven't seen. And even then, I don't think there's anything I could ever see on someone's phone that would drive me to murder. It's just ridiculous. Well, he thinks it's an accidental murder. Like, he to the moment? Yeah, like, he thinks that things got out of control, like they

were fighting and, like, they pushed on accident, like, not like she meant to murder. I think that's what he's getting at. Like, I wonder what he said about her, because clearly he said some crazy stuff, that would make him allude to that. I want to know what's in those messages. Yeah. He's been with his parents since this happened and will not talk to me at all, and I've had some contact with his mom,

but she's not being very communicative. The last I heard, she didn't know what messages he was referring to either. I'm still completely stunned, and I have no idea how to proceed. I made a commitment to be there for him always, and I understand that grief can manifest in strange ways, but a part of me feels like my love for him

died the second he called me a murderer. And I don't know how we could possibly work through this. I also really don't want to be thought of in this way, and I have no idea if he has said anything to people we know. I obviously haven't. A brain tumor or psychotic break has crossed my mind, and I suggested it to his mother, and she just said that she'll talk to him. Other than the questions before, he hasn't been acting odd. Obviously he's been grieving, but he seemed sane and sensible other than this. I feel like I'm going mad. Does anyone have any advice at all?

This is a little bit of a unique one. I feel like he said something so awful to Laura that that's what made sense to him, especially since it was like a brief interaction. Like she was like, oh, I just stopped by for coffee or whatever she said. I feel like he said some nasty things in the messages. Maybe Laura did too. I don't, unless there's something else like a psychotic break going on, but if he's within his right mind as right as you can be while you're going through grief,

then I think that he feels like he said something really, I don't know. There's something there. Yeah. There is something there or you don't jump to that conclusion. Yeah. And I'm like, what could it have been? Well, and that's why it's in his mind he's jumping there because he's fabricating from that worry of, oh, she saw this.

And then that's the next logical thing, which those thoughts aren't paired well with what he's going through. I mean, you have these things definitely building upon one another into a vicious cycle. It's actually just kind of a nightmare from OPE's perspective because being accused of a serious crime that you, you know, obviously as far as we're reading here, you know, given the context of everything,

we're assuming obviously that you didn't. In that sense, it's an absolute nightmare. And I almost go into self-protect mode where I'm like, oh, hell no, I had nothing to do with this. I'm getting all my ducks in a row. I'm figuring out if, like, I don't know, not if there's cameras, but I'm getting all of my legal stuff to get. Because he's so scared for her. He's getting to a point of where he wants to go to the police.

He's threatening this. It sounds like UK inquest or something. It could turn so serious so quickly. He's going to go report it. I know, but imagine end up then, like, we are so deep into the true crime space right now. Oh, my God. How many people are wrongly questioned and pressured to ultimately, like, they get brainwashed into admitting to crimes. They had nothing.

Like, it goes down such a dark spiral. Okay, you guys, so I actually had a case. It's known as the staircase. Essentially, this woman died. And apparently it looked initially like she had fallen down the stairs and died by falling down the stairs. And then they start looking at like the husband. And like all of the evidence for the case kind of like was suspicious and like she had been bleeding for hours and like it was a it was like this whole thing i'm going to link the episode

if you guys want to watch it but essentially the husband gets convicted of her murder and i think a big part of it was because he was also looking really suspicious because a friend of his had died years prior by also falling down the stairs and so people were like to have one but two people die by falling down the stairs and he had adopted her daughter daughters. He had been seen leaving her house late that night, running away from her house. And so people were like, there's no way he didn't murder his wife. Like, this is weird. His defense team ends up finding evidence, though, and they find owl feathers in the wounds on her head and pine needles. And so people conclude that as she was walking into the house from where they were drinking wine

outside that an owl had attacked her. And he sat outside for hours after looking at the stars drinking the rest of the wine. And so he didn't discover her, so she bled out. And so which do you believe? Where does the evidence point? But he was convicted. There's a documentary about it now, I think literally called the staircase. And it's the craziest case. Well, I don't want to give the spoilers, but I'll link the episode for those that want to know. Wow. Makes you want to wear just a body cam at 24-7. Literally. Honestly.

No, I've actually- A constant alibi. You guys keep on saying things like that I've been thinking of like literally either like today or like the day before. But like they're not like they don't fully make sense like connected. Yeah, but like I was literally just thinking that today. Like everyone records everything and everyone, it's like almost to the point where if somebody says something these days and they don't have evidence, then I don't believe

it because everyone has evidence. or like it's not that I like think they're a liar I'm just kind of like yeah like sure yeah and like we've turned ourselves into like this surveillance like state with how much we record and it's like who can record quicker how can you make the camera footage look and then you hear the other side and you're like holy shit that's crazy I think about that too

and like that's where I think where police officers like if I was an officer I'd want to wear my body cam on at all times because like I don't want someone to be like oh this shitty cop like I can't really want to wear my body cam sorry, I just, I totally, I just can't believe they act the way that they do sometimes with the body cam. I don't know. It's crazy. That's why we need more good cops. We need more good cops in the world. Some of them are goofy. Yeah. Some people, some people in life are goofy. And it's not, it's not any job specifically maybe. But like, I'm just like, oh my God, people just fucking get it together. Like, where are we at in the world? Why are we still doing what we're doing all over the world? Like, why do we have a fucking, like genocide going on? I'm like, why? Why? Yeah. Why? We were talking about this with like all 100 too. There's not like there's not like one profession or one religion or one like country that is good or bad. Like it is really it's like people are people and there's good people and then there's bad people or if you want to say people who do bad things, whatever. But like.

You're not getting fancy with that language. But I just I think that we all just get so like hung up on looking and thinking sides and things. thinking all these people are bad and pointing fingers. And that's why like creating in groups and out groups are so powerful for control. For sure. And that's why you see that in the history of a lot of people who have been dictators or want to be dictators. Where am I going with this? Let's move on. Yeah. Okay. So top comment on this one. Fuck no. You don't salvage this. You get a lawyer and get the fuck out. Best case scenario, he has just admitted to sending messages with his sister that he thinks would make you angry enough to kill her over them. I have some ideas about what those might be, and they're all bad. How did the parents react when he did this? Someone responds back to that.

And it is his guilt slash fear of discovery of whatever is in those messages that is causing him to make these accusations using anger as a defense mechanism. Someone responds back to the first comment, like what the message is. Yeah. What do you think the messages entailed? Someone responds, incest? Question mark, question mark, question mark. Oh, my God. I don't know.

I can't think of a single other thing it could be. The two of them insulting her wouldn't be enough. Honestly, them being incestuous kind of explains everything. Yeah. Or that would actually make so. Yeah. Mine didn't jump there. I'm surprised we didn't.

We've had a lot of incest stories in the past. And like I didn't even consider that either. I thought it would be like him, like, them just talking shit and Laura being like, you should divorce her. I hate her actually. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. See, I kind of gaslit myself out of that, I guess, because I was like, for a second, I was like, they're sleeping together.

And I was like, no, get that thought out of there. That's not it. But is he this afraid that the messages come out in some investigation about her death? Because otherwise, why mention it in the first place? Why even put that out there? Because if he is trying to convict her of murder to hide whatever's in those messages, why even make that such a focal point? Because the second we all heard that, we're like, oh my God, the messages, that's the key to everything.

And the messages would come out in court. Her defense team would subpoena those messages, they would come out in court. Yes. So it's like, yeah, that's a really good point because it's like if you don't want those messages to come out, but you think your wife killed your sister over the message. and you're going to go accuse her and have the inquiry overturned, you just made a surefire way to get the messages out there. You don't actually think she killed her.

But let's say that he is just in love with his sister, so he's not thinking smart about this. He's thinking emotionally passionate. Passionately. Yeah. If he was in love with his sister, then knee-jerk reaction, like, he's just going to be full of anger and hate that she's now gone. and he thinks that his wife took her from him.

Yeah. Okay. I'm just like, I'm sitting here. I'm just like, holy shit, I'm reeling. We do have a couple of comments I see from OP in this thread. OPE has since deleted their account. Post still stands. But like, there is an edit here that I wasn't going to read. But like, it's not really context, but it is. It has come to my attention that I accidentally used Laura's real name once in this post. Can I kindly ask that anyone who commented who is blank, real name, delete their comment, as I really don't want this to bleed in my real life for obvious reasons.

But O.P. responds to the top comment. That kind of asked, like, how did his parents respond? When he first laid out the accusation at his parents' house, both his mother and I just kept asking him about the messages. And all he would say was that I know exactly what messages he was talking about. Oh, my God. She was as stunned as me. And his father just said he didn't understand what he was talking about.

He's a man, a few words, but there was plenty of head shaking. The whole thing was surreal. No one knew how to react. I honestly don't know what kind of lawyer I would even speak to about this. From what I'm aware, the coroner's decision can't be appealed and the police can't launch an investigation into an accidental death. I don't think I'm quite ready for divorce. We haven't spoken since his accusation and I walked out about five minutes after he threw it out. And I have no idea what his frame of mind is.

And someone goes, You want to live with a person that thinks you're a murderer? there's not really coming back from that, especially when he thinks he has this evidence. This isn't some kind of accident or grief, even if tomorrow he says, quote, sorry, you're not a murderer. There's no going back. The trust is gone. You need to worry about yourself, speak to a divorce lawyer. You don't need to sign yet, but you should start planning an exit strategy. OP responds, unfortunately, I think that's where I am. For the past week, I've been telling myself I'm going to get a call saying he's been detained.

for mental health reasons, but nothing is happening, and my patients is wearing thin with the silence. There would have to be an extremely good reason for me to stay after this, to the point that I'm even quietly hoping for a brain tumor over a mental break, because that comes with solid proof that these aren't his own thoughts and feelings. I am clutching at straws. I have a really hot take. Let's go.

And this is probably because I just finished. a murder mystery series that I talked about on Father Knows and blamed Morgan for all of my stuff becoming more murder mystery because of starting clues. Wouldn't it be crazy if O.P. did find the messages. They were having an affair and O.P. did kill the sister, but she wrote this Reddit post and accidentally mentioned the sister's real name in the post. Ooh. And then said, I don't want this to get back to me for obvious reasons as a cover-up.

And she actually did it. Okay. So do you want to know what O.P.'s username is? Because someone does respond to one more comment. I'm going to read from O.P., okay. But someone does respond. And the username before O.P. deleted their account. It was username slash throwaway, not a killer.

If I was going to pick a throwaway name for a post. like this, it wouldn't be that. I mean, was like... Like, maybe butterflies and ladybugs, like, just something's so irrelevant, but like, to be like throw away not a killer, like, girl, that's just, it feels aggressive when you're trying to prove your...

Not that she has her innocence to prove, but I'm like, God damn, like, okay, okay. Is the sister's bedroom downstairs? Did she physically have to go downstairs to, like, go to bed at this time? I was envision. Is there a reason to go down and,

I guess downstairs would make sense if there was a window sill above. Like, I'm just saying, does it make sense to go downstairs? That's one thought. And B, regardless of who did this, who's innocent, whatever, whatever, it would haunt me forever if I was a person in this situation. We're honestly hearing it right now. What are the damn messages? Yeah.

I know. O.P. does have a comment here. I'm absolutely desperate to see these messages because I, I'm right there with you on the sheer wackiness of what they have to contain. It hadn't occurred to me that they might still exist. I've never known him to lie, but I do think mental health issues a real possibility. His relationship with his sister didn't seem odd, and I've never been interested in his phone, but he's never been defensive about either.

So I think you might be right. If it had such incriminating messages, I'd probably be worried about them before now. And someone goes, does he have an old iPad that was linked to his phone? Just thinking that if he did, you might be able to find out whether or not there are any messages. OPE goes, you're genius. It's not signed into his messages. I was so excited. OPE goes, I have his I cloud password.

It has a backup from yesterday. I have no idea how to turn this into something I can actually use. It doesn't have a messages folder or any signs of how to use it for anything other than restoring a whole phone, which I don't want to do. Does anyone know how to actually get these messages from this? Sorry to through a tech support request in. I can't believe I didn't think of this. Huge thanks to the person who suggested it. Someone goes, whatever you do, do it quickly and quickly.

quietly be aware that his device will likely get a notification about a new device signing in using his credentials. Someone goes, you should be able to erase the contents of the iPad and then put it in his iCloud password to restore it from backup yesterday. Then just click on the messages and it should have whatever was backed up. Opie goes, thank you. Whoa. Not seeing any responses.

That's it. Holy crap. Also, just to be clear, because this is somebody's real life and Opie. I do think that this is like, honestly, all I'm getting is real from this. Yeah. Too crazy. No, I, and my point is, is like, I'm O.P. Like, if you are listening, I do not think that you murdered your husband, sister.

This is just kind of crazy. Like, Morgan doesn't normally give me stories like this. And I literally just finished like a murder mystery series yesterday. It's all like being like really like on the nose for you right now. Yeah. Well, and it's just one of those things where the entire time I was watching the series, I'm like, who did it? And then part of me was like, is it the person who seems the least likely? Like, is it, you know what I mean?

So that's like why I said that I don't actually think that if you are listening. I know. I mean, you can't prove one way or the other, really. No. That's true. I don't know you. But your writing sounds like you're innocent. I know.

And like there's one last comment. I thought that was going to be the last one I read. But like this is actually the last one because I'm not seeing as I scroll. I'm not seeing other like comments from OP because username's deleted but you still see deleted op after it with some sometimes reddit doesn't and sometimes red it doesn't is so weird but there's one other one that's just like basically her saying i'm really scared of the prospect of him telling other people about this and i feel like as time passes the chances increase for sure i don't know whether i should get ahead of it or even how i'd approach that he's intelligent successful and has

plenty of friends i've never known him to lie about anything and i feel like this accusation could follow me around my entire life. I've asked his mother for an update and she hasn't gotten back to me. She left my last message for two days too and was quite dismissive when I tried to broach the issue of a psychotic break. Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. I genuinely think based on that, his parents do believe him. Damn. Like if the mom's cutting you off and there's no mention of mental health, there's no mention of anything, like, I just, unless the family's like tight-lipped, We don't want to embarrass him. Mental health is not talked about.

We're going to hide this. Then maybe, but also at the same time, like, this is her husband. They're married. Like, this is extremely odd. But my mom would be, my mom would just not want to get the word out. No, not even that. Like, I just think my mom would respond the same way, not because she thinks that that person's guilty or believes her son. But just because she's just trying to.

to deal with what's right in front of her. The kid gloves, too. And just like, I don't know how to handle this. I'm not going to say anything. So it's like almost like the partner that's your son is spiraling over is like the last of your, not the last of your worries. She just lost a child. I mean, like. Well, that too.

Yeah. And then you have like your son accusing his wife of killing her. It's like, weird what? Yeah. That's probably the last of our worries to get back to. Yeah. That's so true. Yeah.

That's so true. This is insane. O.P. has since deleted the account. I mean, people are in the comments like, please update us. We want to make sure you're safe. People are worried that he's going to turn around and kill her based on all of his behavior. Like, people are very, very scared. But yeah, we don't have an update. And I don't know. Obviously, Opie can't undelete the account. So it would have to be coming from a new account just being like, I wrote this post. And hopefully then someday we would happen to come across it. And you just have to hope that that person's not. Right. Faking it. Well, that's unsettling. That is unsettling. I really wish we had a little more pleasure.

I feel very unresolved. I'm more so unresolved because it seems like she was able to get into ICloud stuff. And then it's like, after that, we have no comments. Yeah. So I'm like, fuck. Like what's in the box? Eye cloud. Thank you.

Okay. So again, the title was my 30 female husband, 33 male, accused me. accused me of murder out of the blue. How do I salvage this? And this was on August 2nd bonus episode for the month. And basically this guy accused his wife of murdering his sister, went kind of off the walls and was like, I know you did it.

You saw our text messages. O.P. ended up getting into the iCloud. And that's where the updates ended for us. All we knew is she got into the iCloud, but like we didn't know what she found. Yeah, it was maddening. And then there's another update. None of the Bauru accounts that I had, like the write-ups on it had it.

Someone on Patreon sent it to me. So here we go. Firstly, thank you to those who helped me get to my husband's ICloud backups through an old iPad. I wasn't expecting much from Reddit, but I got valuable, practical advice before my post was locked. And I appreciate it. There were no crazy or even suspicious messages. I've searched for over 100 terms and scrolled back over years. I saw a side of them both I wasn't expecting,

but nothing that explains the claim I murdered Laura over their chats. Nothing to suggest he was cheating. Absolutely nothing to suggest incest. I repeat, no incest. No weird gaps where deleted conversations or a switch to another app would fit, just siblings making plans, sending memes, and gossiping.

They said unexpectedly horrible stuff about a few people, but not me. It was sort of a relief, but it raised more questions than it answered. I sought legal advice, also from Reddit, after posting here, turns out my options are divorce him or sit down. I contacted my community mental health team

who said they'd reach out, but made it clear it wasn't urgent. I then called his mom and said if I didn't hear from him by this weekend, I would get a solicitor and ask for a mental health assessment as a part of the divorce. In response, he made a ridiculous post to Facebook, which neither of us have used in years, and everything blew up. I'm going to try to keep this succinct. On Friday night, he made a long accusation on Facebook with new information. He said he'd been planning to leave me for months with his sister's support, and I found the messages and murdered her. The coroner has reopened the case and the police are

preparing to arrest me, and he needs to make sure people know before the trial stops talking about it. It was well written and seemed vaguely plausible. He messaged people links so it got some attention. We live in our hometown and have a large circle of friends because we've lived here all our lives. people I haven't spoken to since school were reaching out to me asking me what the fuck was going on. It was madness. In response,

I posted the export of his entire conversation history with Laura, also to Facebook, when I finally got back in. I linked the chat along with a post explaining my side and noting that I had changed my ex's iCloud and Apple passwords

and that if he wanted them back, he should comment on my post and update his own, admitting that he was lying, He eventually did. When I started getting messages about his post, I panicked, and changing his passwords seemed important to preserve everything because he'd know I had access. When I spoke to him the next morning, it's clear he's not having a mental episode at all, but is claiming one because he's been caught in a big lie. As soon as he was outed, he called me, clearly drunk, begging and promising to explain everything if I deleted my post.

I hung up and told him to call back the next day. He did, after many missed calls and texts, and he tried to bargain and guilt-trip me with his mental health again until it was clear the wrong people had seen his conversation. It's hard to describe, but it seemed fake. It was too well rehearsed, and then this morning, when it was clear he was getting nowhere, he blocked me.

Begging for mercy and reciting facts about mental disorders that doesn't align with someone in crisis, with a sincere belief that someone murdered their sibling. The question of why he did all of this remains unanswered, and he will not be getting his passwords until it is. The legal advice subreddit said this stuff is technically illegal, but it's beneath a court to take action. So I'm going to count on that

because I felt like I had no other choice at the time, and now I don't see any other way to get answers from him. I'm desperate, and it's all I've got. So there we are. The relationship I have believed was pure destiny since I was a teenager has boiled down to petty, convoluted, and vindictive bullshit played out on social media for reasons still unknown. My hope for a brain tumor is fading and clearly tomorrow morning is going to be when I lawyer up and stop posting about this. I am mortified. I have no idea whether some people might believe him and I still don't know why this all happened in the first place. Sorry, I don't have a happier update, and thanks once again to everyone who offered advice. I just wish there was more of an update on that one because now it's almost makes it even more of a cliffhanger and more confusing now that she's starting to rule out it being like a mental break.

I started thinking, was he there arguing with his sister about her? and then she fell when they were arguing, and then he started deciding that it was her fault because he was arguing about her. Like, where did he get this from? If he's not having a mental break, then where did he get this from? So top comment on the update,

I cannot think of a larger monster than a man willing to accuse someone of murdering his sister publicly, might I add, to feign justification in a divorce. I'm so sorry this happened to you and that you do not know this person. You have many blessings for me. Next comment down. The fact that he went nuclear with the Facebook allegation immediately after she mentioned divorce would support the theory that he wanted a divorce but without the fault being on him.

Imagine being so callous and stupid to do something like that. Not only to accuse someone of murder, but to use your sister's death to your advantage, This is insane. Poor O.P. I haven't even understood it since we first went through it. It's not even like a what's in the box. Where you're just dying to know. It's just gotten so confusing that I don't even know what to think. I don't necessarily need another update.

I mean, it'd be great. But it's just like if we keep going down this same path, it's just going to get more confusing. It's just the motive, there is none. I don't even know how you have a trial on this. It'd be such a crazy mess. I know. But I just, yeah, I can't think of,

I can't wrap my head around any part of it. And it's scary because just simply getting, and this is what we talked about, just simply getting accused. I mean, think of many people wrongfully are out there serving sentences that didn't do anything. I know. And that, what, I mean, honestly, what's scarier than that?

Getting convicted of a murder that you had nothing to do with and somehow you get framed? I mean, I think it's just like that's super scary, but it's also like having your partner, someone you're married to, are in love with, have been with for years, you think you know them. All of a sudden wakes up, accuses you of murder, doesn't talk to you, goes crazy on Facebook. Like, is he maybe having an affair and he saw this as an easy way out? Dude, you can't be that big of a coward. That isn't the easy way out, though. It puts such a big spotlight on everything. Yeah, I know.

That's why it doesn't make sense. Any way that we spin it, it just doesn't quite add up. Okay, this next one. This is coming from a relationship advice. It is titled, My 30 Female Student, 18 Male, made a super creepy comment. My husband, 35 male, thinks I'm being paranoid. I'm a high school English teacher and I have been for a few years.

In that time, as a woman, I've been used to teenage boys awkwardly behaving around me sometimes and pheromones are kind of a part of the deal. There have been occasional comments, but generally in the vein of, Miss, so-and-so has a crush on you, or, miss, would you be so-and-so's Valentine's? It's all in good humor in front of the whole class or a large group and is seemingly well-meaning. My school throws a January ball for seniors, 16 to 18, which is basically an opportunity to celebrate the start of another calendar year. As it's after hours, not every teacher has to attend, and this year I was asked to be a chaperone. There is no alcohol permitted, but obviously some of them sneak in, hip flask, and so on.

During this month's ball, two students were huddled at a table in the corner of the hall, not dancing, just keeping to themselves. I know them well as problematic students who have difficulties socially, but also perform poorly academically, so they don't fit in with the popular crowd or the nerdy lot. We have some of these every year, poor hygiene, greasy hair, long fingernails, that sort of thing. Immediately, I could tell that they had been drinking from the way that they smelled and talked. and asked them to hand over any alcohol they had. One of the boys, let's call him Stuart, started protesting.

He said the following, and I'm 100% sure this is what he actually said. Quote, come on, miss, don't pretend you won't open that bottle of Baileys when you get home, feed up in your dressing gown, watching the new TV, give us a break. Now, as soon as he said this, I felt my heart drop into my stomach, and I got cold all over. I had just bought a bottle of Bailey's Irish cream for myself the weekend before the dance. I am in the habit on nights

where I don't have much marking or planning and I want to treat for myself of having a bath and watching a movie or series in my dressing gown. My husband bought a new television over Christmas. I asked him how he knew those things and he feigned ignorance, basically saying it was a lucky guess.

I was so shaken that I left them, and a short while later they both left. But that night, I could barely sleep, and my paranoia kept growing. I simply cannot believe that he could have guessed all three of those things. One, maybe, but no way all three. My husband is away for work currently.

I phoned and told him about it, and he basically downplayed my concerns, saying, I probably mentioned those things to my class at various points, and this student just remembered it. But I would never mention those things. I just wouldn't, and I'm sure I haven't. I've become more skittish at home when I hear noises. I only live in a small house, but when I arrive home from buying groceries, I check every single room in cupboard before I lock the doors. I've also arranged to have the locks changed. When cars stop outside the house, I turn, all the lights off and peek at them through the blinds. I'm having trouble sleeping. In class,

the student is quiet and the same as ever, not completing homework assignments, distracted in class. My husband is growing increasingly exasperated and worried more for my mental health than the possibility this student could somehow know details of my personal life. I mentioned it to my supervisor as well, and she also basically reasoned that I had either misheard what he said, it was a coincidence or a combination of the two. What's the play here? I'm seriously freaked out and I don't know how to even begin putting this to rest. Yeah, I definitely have a bit of surveillance paranoia, I feel, so I really do relate to her in this. This is creepy. I get very scared, especially if I'm like watching a scary show or something that someone's either in the house or

someone could be watched or like if I'm at an Airbnb like I check for cameras like I definitely have always it started when I was younger with religion and now I think like God like God was watching and but now it's like it's like someone but I don't think like Bayleys is a super like Irish coffee I don't think that's a super common I don't think that's a super common drink that's not so there's also a Kalua there's other things you could have picked like why Bayleys why a dressing robe Yeah. Does she have a big window in her living room? I would wonder because people's addresses are public information. It's really not a huge stretch to think that like obviously we don't know this kid and I'm not saying that this is anything about him. But just for anyone it's not that hard to look up someone's name on the white pages online and figure out their address or even like their phone number or anything like that. which you can use an app called like delete me to get that stuff removed or like you could physically request from each website that they remove your information if you want to but if you don't

opt out like that's the default that it's all on there so it's not crazy to be like oh maybe he's gone to her house sometime and like looked at her through her window i mean yeah or like the bailey's would be something it is the fact that it's all three because like with the bailey's i'm like hey maybe he saw you at the liquor store or the grocery store. Why would he be in a liquor? Yeah. You know, like maybe at a grocery store, yeah. Yeah, sell liquor.

But I'm like, maybe that's how he saw you. But like the new TV and the dressing robe. Like, I don't wear a dressing robe. Like, I'm usually in a big t-shirt and sweat. So it's like a dressing robe is very specific. Like, not everyone wears a little moo-moo. Like, I have a hard time believing it's a coincidence. And I think it's really frustrating being in this situation and like you're being told by everyone,

you're overreacting, you're paranoid. And it's just like, but I'm not. Like I need to trust my gut. It's the same way when people like start getting stalked and they know it and no one believes them and no one takes a report and no one wants to put a restraining order and then they end up dead. Yeah. And granted, is this high school student going to kill her? No.

but there's clearly something at play here. I mean, probably not. High school students can do that. I mean, the only thing I can think of, but I would think that she would come up with this idea if it were the case. Like if she ever posted, you know, a picture or like a story on Instagram of her, like, you know, like a selfie of like finally settling in after a long day and like watching my favorite show or I don't know, something like that.

like if it's just social media stalking. Yeah. But I do believe like she would have come to that conclusion on her own if that were the case of like, oh, maybe he saw my Instagram. I think like step one would just be getting some cameras around your house like on both sides of it. Yeah. Just so that you can have that peace of mind of like if someone were around my house right now and looking at me like I would have gotten a notification. I would know. 100%.

Like I can physically see it. Like I can physically see that there's been nobody at my windows or my doors the past 24 hours. Like that would feel good. I would also just like, obviously this is a very low chance of it happening. But I would check the house for cameras. Like I would do all of those things with like the light. Yeah. Do you know the trick for checking for cameras?

Because I think it's really good to do when you go to like Airbnb's hotels wherever you're staying. That's not your home. Is it the flashlight? Yeah. So I've heard if you shot. all the lights off in a room and then use your phone's camera. Then if you scan about with your phone's camera, if there is another camera in the room, you should see like an infrared light.

Yeah. I know I'm sure there's like other devices on Amazon and things like that, but that's one hack I've heard. There also are apps where you connect it to the Wi-Fi and then it can tell you every single device that's on the Wi-Fi. Oh, I like that. So if there's like a camera or like a webcam on the Wi-Fi. on the Wi-Fi, because obviously it would need to be live stream or like it would need to be connected to like the network and it would be the same network you are on. So it'll like show you

every device on your network and like if it's currently active. I honestly, I feel like that's something I want to download and like figure out how to just check when I'm going places. Like I don't call me paranoid, but I just, I went to a crime junkie live show a couple weekends ago and like they had this case and like one of the people in the cases was like a doctor who. who was like installing cameras in toilets and getting shots of like people's vaginas and like crazy like shots. No, I get so scared about. I get very paranoid.

Like using public restrooms, I get paranoid every time. Not like severely. No, but you think about it. Yeah. I do too. Mm-hmm. I'm like, I'm always like, what's what's happening in here? I've seen so many videos on TikTok lately of like people in bathrooms and like someone

next to them like puts a phone camera under the stall or like they're at their Airbnb. be and they open the basement door or like a crawl space hatch and someone's in there. You can never be too careful nowadays. Like we live in a time where we have these technologies. It's 2025. Install a camera. Like you should have cameras. At least a doorbell camera now. Yeah. At the bare minimum. Like and there's a comment here from OP. Thank you for the advice. I will invest in some cameras. How do you advise I go about communicating all this and justifying it to my husband? Yeah. Babe, it's 2025.

we need cameras. That's it. I don't even think you need to justify getting cameras. You don't need permission to get cameras for the outside of your house from your husband. And they're not even that expensive anymore. Like if you can get one of the wing or whatever the blink ones. I love my UFEs. On sale.

Yeah. Ufi is great. And you can get solar powered ones. You never have to charge them if you live in the right area. Absolutely. And like he would benefit from it too. Like it's just safe to have that, especially like, hey, your wife is alone sometimes. you should want her to feel safe and also you can feel like she's safe. That should make you feel

good too. But I don't know. I understand her. I literally passed, I was driving yesterday and I passed a spy store and it literally was like called the spy store and I was like, first of all, I need to go there sometime. But also I think it's just a testament to how many ways people can camouflage a camera now. Yeah. They can be wearing glasses and there's a camera in it. Like they can have a pen in their shirt and Rayband glasses. Yeah. You would never, never know what those are. Yeah.

Like, Alejandro has them. And, like, they're so discreet. And it's literally just someone looking at you recording with glasses. It's... Yeah. It's crazy. USB charging ports? Camera.

Well, also... Pens? Camera. The, um... God, is it Giselle Pettico? The one whose husband... Yes, the French woman. The way that he got found out was because he was sliding, like, his...

camera underneath girl's skirts at a department store and a guy who worked there insisted on like one of them filing charges and they saw him doing it on the camera. But like you just have to be aware of your surroundings and it sucks because there are so many methods now to being creeps. I know there's also an element of like seeing it online makes you think it's more prevalent than it is, but I don't think it's like bad to be careful and to be aware. Just situational awareness is so important. so important, but I don't think O.P. was being crazy. It does remind me of a story, and I don't believe I've ever read it on this podcast. Maybe I get into it for this month's Patreon full bonus episode, because it is kind of vintage. And I know there's a lot of other

podcasts that have probably read it, but there's a story about this guy who does think people are breaking into his home and there's like a plot twist that happens with it that I don't want to give away, but it is reminding me of that story. But I don't think knowing how that story ends, I don't think it's the same. Oh, I know the story that you're talking about, actually. Yeah, I don't think it's the same situation here. I'm going to read it for this month's full bonus episode on Patreon. So if you want, come over there. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, there is a, there's always a small chance that it was a guess and that it's a crazy guess and somehow he figured it out. Or maybe he did see her at the store and then guess the rest of it or

whatever. Like, of course, there's a small chance that that's a possibility. But I don't think it hurts to just get cameras in your house. Check for cameras already existing. Maybe remove your address from those websites. Like, those things don't hurt you. Yeah. So smart. You, a lot of good recommendations, Michaela. Okay, so let's get into some comments from OPE here. So someone goes, my thing is, why would he say new TV? I could believe if he said drinking some wine watching TV and your dressing gown, but being extremely specific about your drink of choice and new TV is a little scary. Wine is the trope.

TV is what you would think people do. Dressing gown is cozy. But those added details make it not a coincidence. And that's what I would assume. Woman, wine. TV, reality show, Netflix series, whatever. dressing gown. Okay, robe. Insert robe. Insert whatever. Like, I would assume big t-shirt. Bailey's dressing gown, new TV. They just got it in December. I missed the new. I missed that he said new TV.

New TV. Okay, that's, yeah. So if he goes, exactly, exactly. If it was just, you're going to have some bailies or you'll have some bailies in front of your TV. Like, okay. But those comments plus the new TV? Next comment down. Is it possible that you or your husband were observed? buying the new TV and the Baileys. The student's parents could have seen either purchase and said, oh, throw away Jade, whatever, just got a new large 65-inch TV. I agree. You should do a sweep for cameras or ask a techish friend for help,

but that would necessitate figuring out how the cameras got there, which opens up a larger conspiracy. And that is so fucking true. Like if there's cameras in her home, how the fuck did they get that? That's like not the end of the story. That's not like, oh, we found them now we're safe because we removed them you have to find out like how they got in how long

have you been living there yeah did you recently buy the home did you recently move in and you're renting were they there before how do these students have access to those cameras so then your students broke into your home and put these cameras in your home like right what the fuck yeah which I'm glad she already changed the locks she said that right she's getting them changed she's getting the blocks change. I also think there's an element of this of like it's a woman talking about these concerns to her husband who is a man who's probably never really thinking about this kind of thing. Yeah. Like she's she's brought it up in person to people who, you know, they just don't have to worry about being followed or like being attacked or whatever in the same way. And they're not

vulnerable in the same way. Yes. Because I remember the first time I told Justin like I genuinely think about getting kidnapped every day. He was like, what? Yeah. He couldn't rationalize that because that's not a fear he's ever had. Like, there's such an intuition with women because we socially do have to be more on edge and aware. Oh, and that's why, like, gossip between women is an evolutionary way we keep each other alive. Like, gossip is important. Gap. Yes. Don't gate keep. Yeah. Cheez-mosa. I want to choose me. So OP does ask, how can I sweep for cameras, genuinely want to know? And someone goes, open your Bluetooth and see if there are any weird devices.

Obviously, if you live in an apartment building, this probably won't work because you'll pick up your neighbor's stuff. They sell devices that look for hidden cameras, but I think it's just something that emits a beam of light that would bounce off a camera lens. I've never seen one that seems worth buying. Otherwise, I don't have any suggestions. And OP goes, there are some devices I don't recognize. In the morning, it's late here. I'll go ask my neighbors to try and rule some out. Thank you. Holy shit. Op has another comment here. It's in response to someone. And it goes, well, I'm in IT, but not that area. If there was a camera, logically, it would have to be transmitting, so probably use a Wi-Fi connection. I've read that Skimmers and Gas Station credit card payment units can send data through Wi-Fi so the bad actor doesn't have to retrieve it. That Wi-Fi should show up on your phone if you look at various Wi-Fi offerings on your phone. You'd have to take into consideration closeness of your neighbors. How a camera got there is another puzzle. O-CAM's razor says to look at the easier likelihood. So can someone be looking in

your window as you sip your bailey's in a nightgown and also notice your recycle bin with a discarded LG TV box recently? Oh yeah. OPE goes similarly a long list of Wi-Fi devices popping up longer than the Bluetooth list. I'll try and get my immediate neighbors to rule some out, but there will still probably be a few left over. I mean, yeah, I would have all of my friends come over and we turn off the lights and we all are looking with flashlights. We're like, you, I mean, like, you have to take out sometimes the lighting fixtures, look under the lighting fixtures. Vents, fans. Yeah. There are definitely videos on TikTok, I think, of like people. People finding. Yeah, or like what they do when they enter a hotel room or an Airbnb for the first time,

like all of the places they look. And it would be places. that someone would expect would get a view of what they're trying to get, you know? So like your random shoe closet probably doesn't have one in there because what would they get from that? But like in your bathroom with a good view of like the toilet and the shower, like that would be the first place to look. I hope that's not the case. But like, I mean, it would just give so much peace of mind if you did look at all these

things. I think it's more likely the window or like the recycling bin theory. This episode has turned in from what's the scoop, give me the scoop to gave me goosebumps. Like the whole episode, I'm just like, what is happening here? Mm-hmm. We have an update. No, we do. Yeah, we have an update. I'm like, I'm so scared to read it. You haven't read it yet? I haven't read it. Oh, my God. Okay. I don't want to. I'm not reading. Oh my God. What did I do to us today? We're going to get so paranoid this week. We're going to be texting each other. You're like, dude, don't be listening to this episode alone. It's too late to tell people that now. Like, everyone's already locked in. Like, yeah. It's home. I'm alone. It's 3 a.m. Morgan. What the fuck. I'm so sorry, you guys. Okay. My eyes are watering. I'm like so scared. Update. I wasn't expecting this post to receive so much attention. I'm really grateful to so much. I'm really grateful to so much. many people who have validated my concerns and helped me develop a plan of action. I got home a whittle. A widow. A widow. I got home a little. A widow. A widow a while ago.

And I'm going out shortly with a friend to try to rule out Bluetooth and Wi-Fi devices with my neighbors. After that, the two of us will try and conduct a meticulous search of the house for any concealed devices using the lights out phone camera trick some people recommended and some other tricks I found online. Just to clarify a couple of points that I've seen raised a few times. Dressing gown is a really common term in England for what Americans might call a robe. It's absolutely common parlance. Here, most people I know would associate a robe with something a wizard might wear. In terms of it being a lucky guess, if he had just said, relaxed with a glass of wine, I might have assumed so. But the dressing gown comment, plus the Bailey's comment, when I had just

bought a bottle and the explicit mention of a new television, which I am 100% certain I did not misinterpret. These things make it so much harder to write off as a coincidence. As far as social media goes, I have Instagram, which is set to private under my maiden name, and my profile picture is not of me. I'm not in the habit of connecting with former students. I only have three who have all gone to study English at a university and have used me as a reference. I also have a Snapchat, which I only use with my husband and very close friends. I've posted nothing about my new television. And I also don't think I've mentioned this to colleagues, let alone students. Certainly, I said nothing about the Baileys I just bought. And that's so true. You're not going to tell your

underage students, yeah, I'm going to go home and drink a glass of Baileys. Yeah. Or like, hey, everyone, I just bought a new TV, like to your kid or to your, you would remember, like, talking about that. I'm so excited to go home and have Bayleys in front of my new TV and my dressing robe. Also, why would anyone opt for a longer? sentence that's more specific with all of these extra words than just saying relax with a glass of wine like they know don't opt for these really adjective riddled sentences with all these extra details for no reason no they know something and they wanted it to be specific to jar her so that she would leave them alone and they could keep their alcohol maybe they're part of a spy club

I don't, oh, maybe they're in the CIA. Okay, update number two. It wasn't going to post an update here, but the number of worried people who have reached out to me made me reconsider. After a thorough search of my house, I found two devices. What? Dude, what the fuck? They seem to be camera devices. I don't know if audio is included.

One of them was in the smoke detector in my bedroom, while the other was concealed. while the other was concealed in the wall of my living room. Looking at an old picture of my bedroom, it looks like the smoke detector itself has changed very slightly. I think that the new one is a device in itself, which the culprit somehow switched with the old one without us noticing. Dude, what? What the fuck?

Like, I know that's kind of what we were saying, but that, like, what? They came into her house and changed the smoke detector. So it's like, that makes me think it's someone with a key. Is it a maintenance person? Literally, again, oh my God, I hate getting goosebumps like this. Or like, how do they get? Getting through a window or like maybe they're not always the best at locking the door or I don't like maybe. How does an 18 year old know how to rewire a smoke detector though?

Well, actually, I did see this on Law & Order SVU a couple weeks ago. There wasn't. Oh, my God. No, there wasn't. It's like you just buy a smoke detector. that's a camera and you just like twist it in. But don't you have to unplug wires and like know how to like, like shut the breaker off? Because it might not even be like a working smoke detector that they put in there.

It's just something to look like a smoke detector. So they don't even need to do. And in the bedroom. The bedroom. There's probably a sex tape of her. Yeah. No, that's. And what are, where are they putting it?

Where are they posting it? I don't know. And how do you find it in the millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of sex tapes online. How would you ever find that to get it removed? No, I feel like she needs to get him arrested before tipping him off. That way there's a chance that like this could all be deleted before he could like send it anywhere or anything. Yeah, they clearly need to like question these kids. Yeah. OPE goes on to say, the matter has now been referred to the police. If it wasn't for so many of you taking me seriously and giving me practical advice, I wouldn't have had the courage to check,

especially given the fact my husband was downplaying the concerns. He has been very apologetic and is coming back from his work trip early, but I've asked to spend some time apart and will be staying with my parents for a while. Yeah, how do you even ever, like, feel safe in that home again? I'm glad I raised the issue with my head at my school and a couple of others, as there's a paper trail, another suggestion from this thread. Needless to say, I'm completely shaken in my core, and I have the most revolting feelings of my privacy being invaded.

I have no idea how many people have been involved in this, but phones have been taken from students, and we should have more answers soon. I won't be making any more posts or updates. Thank you again for everyone affirming me and making me feel sane. Dude, I actually want to cry right now. Like, that's so violating and scary. And, I mean, she's a teacher.

Like, she needs to be taken seriously. she needs to be like respected like this is also i don't know kind of a threat to her career with these like kids potentially passing around videos of her in her most like private intimate moments like that's just so terrible well the only thing too like the fact that you brought up jazelle the french woman who just went through like the most horrendous experience and like trigger warning essay her husband drugged her for years and years and years and basically like let other men come over and assault her. Like terrible, terrible situation.

And because of that, my head goes to, what if the husband was the one that installed these cameras? He has access to the house, access to their bedroom, and was trying to downplay and say she was paranoid. Yeah, I mean, like, how would these kids get in there? It's like maybe he posted the stream. connect with... I don't know. Like, he could have posted the stream, like, Rose...

Like, wherever they live, Roseville teacher live stream. And, like, maybe that's how the students came across it. Like, I don't know. I would definitely, like, search his phone and his credit card history as well

and see if there's any, like... Yeah. Anything that stands out because it would be very scary to, like, then always wonder that. Hopefully, when they do question these kids, they find out how they did it. Like maybe the answer is, oh, I was just watching a live stream.

And then now that opens up all of these questions with the people she actually knows. Or maybe they say, oh, you know, like the door was open. And then, you know, that's still bad. But at least she doesn't have to wonder about anyone who has access to her home. Yeah. That's very scary, though. And unfortunately, like, one of the saddest things about these situations is that it's so, off in the person you trust the most. But I don't know, like high school kids can be really

evil. Like, I was never evil in high school, but I'm certainly a much better person than I was then. And then, like, you know, you think about other people and like, before your frontal lobe develops and before you really like, I mean, this happens at a different rate for everybody, but before you have empathy for other people in this same way and like understand that other people are just as complex of human beings as you are. Like there are, there can be very bad high schoolers who are capable of bad things. And what's crazy is that would be the best case scenario for her at this point. Versus her husband.

Yeah. Or an inside job. Mm-hmm. I'm telling you, insider info. Yeah. Wait, someone knows something. And I really do hope OP, if you're out there listening, one, I hope you're, you know, doing okay and say, and hopefully getting more of a peace of mind back in all of this.

Yeah. But I do think this story, you know, if you do get an update and you do find out who and how and why and whatever, like, I do think it could help others by updating again. So if you're out there, let us know. So this is coming from our slash relationship advice. I have many, many house plans and even some that were quite expensive and we're getting. from my sister. Within the last six months, at least a third of my plants have died. I have had houseplants my whole life due to my late mother's own love of houseplants, and I know a lot about plants. The death of the plants didn't seem related to a lack of light or inconsistent watering or a lack

of nutrients or even root rot. They just died very suddenly. I tried to not let it upset me too much because plants die, and it was not any of the expensive ones until now. My sister gave me a five-leaf Monstera-albo rooted plant for my birthday two months ago. It was beautiful. This morning, I was crying pretty hard about it as I unpotted it and took a look at the roots, and I was looking hard at this plant and roots to see if its death was pest-related, and that's when I noticed a smell. I sniffed my potting mix and I smelled bleach. The only other adult person in my home with unlimited and unobserved access to my plants is my husband. I wasn't able to talk to him for several hours, but when I could speak to him, I very calmly, but very directly asked if he had done something to my

plants. He denied it at first. I said I smelled bleach in the potting mix of the elbow. My sister had got me, and that the only other person that could have put it in there was him. And he caved. He said he was putting small amounts of bleach into the fertilizer water jugs I prepare. I started crying. I asked him, why? Why would you do this? You know I love these plants. Why would you destroy them? He didn't really answer, nor did he really apologize. The trust I had in him is absolutely gone. I think maybe counseling can help us, But he is the one that did this, but I'm the one that would have to set up the counseling. The angry part of me just wants to be done with the relationship.

I know that might seem overboard as we are married and share a child, but I feel now that I'm not safe around my husband. What do I do? I was going to say, this might sound dramatic to you, but leave. I'm freaked out. This is creepy stuff. Why do you just kill all these plants? bleach? Why are you putting bleach in stuff? What else are you putting bleach in? Are you putting bleach in my food? And not to be apologetic, not to have an answer. Not to apologize? This scares me. This is terrifying. Yeah. This is reminding me of the slug guy. Oh. Flashbacks. Bad. Yes, it's, it's way less extreme,

but it's still, it's this weird thing to do that just makes you question everything about the person that you know and trust and love. Because it's like it's a power thing or it's, I'm trying to like pinpoint what it could possibly be. But you're essentially knowingly killing something that brings this person joy, something that they love. Well, and if you're causing them pain on purpose. And maybe if you would have responded right away and just said, I don't know, plants drive me fucking crazy. I wanted you to just give up on them because I don't like them in the house. But I didn't want to ruin it for you and blah, blah, blah. Like, then maybe I wouldn't think he's as crazy, but he'd still suck.

But, like, I actually am scared. I'm actually scared of him. I am too. With the, like, no, there's no reason behind it. That freaks me out. There's no remorse. There's no empathy. It's just no remorse, no explanation.

I'm a little freaked out. Yeah. This is crazy. Top comment. I don't know your partner. Hopefully you do. But proceed with great caution. You may want to give this a read.

And it is linked to a story that is titled... Slug story. I found my partner's been putting slugs in my food. No way. Oh my God, I was kidding. It's literally linked to that story. I felt really off my game this episode, so that makes me feel a little bit better. No, and I'm with you. Like, anytime someone tampers with someone's stuff in a harmful way,

I immediately start wondering What else are they capable of? Yes, this is just plants But plants turn into people real easy Well, and you know That sounded weird, but you guys know what I meant, right? Plants don't actually turn into people. Oh my God.

But yeah. No, and I mean, I had somebody that I lived with Who I really trusted And found out that she was stealing a lot from me not even for any rhyme or reason because she came from a very wealthy family. She didn't even use the things she would take a lot of the times. And to me, it wasn't even about the things that were gone. It was more of like questioning everything else.

Yeah. Like this is someone I thought I knew and now I don't know. And now I don't know you. So to me, like I take this stuff seriously. That's so terrifying to question your sanity. Yeah. And just like be fucked with like that. Well, and that's exactly what this story is is because it's like, for me, like I kept

missing things and it was, I was going crazy. Like it was like, how am I, how do I continue to lose these things? I don't understand. And that's what it's making me think with this story because O.P. is like, how do I keep letting these plants die? I'm trying to do everything right. So it's more of the like mind fuck that gets me where it's like, Maybe the person who I was living with just like, maybe it wasn't harmful.

It was just a weird nervous tick. But to me, it's the way that my brain felt during all of that made it be enough for me to create a lot of separation. Yeah. Just insane. There is a comment that kind of highlights more of these instances. It is in response to the person sharing the slug thread. This is the first story I thought about. Also a more recent one where a woman's husband was secretly destroying or giving away her stuff

because he was resentful of her and wanted to see her upset and crying. Psycho behavior. Next comment. Or the guy who was deleting his girlfriend's homework and messing with her PhD thesis slash coursework so she would fail. Or the other guy who was stealing and hiding his partner's EpiPen. Or that woman who got her boyfriend fired from every job he had by making. false anonymous complaints about him. Oh my God.

Really scary stuff. Yeah. Starts off small and the trusting partner starts to gaslight themselves thinking this is too outlandish to be real. But dot dot dot, dot. Like he killed her plants. Slowly but surely. Not in a fit of anger, but with cold calculation and patience. It's so creepy.

That is so freaking creepy. Yeah. I mean, when you picture him doing that, like going and sneaking into her little, uh, watering thing and pouring in some bleach when he thinks that she's not looking. Scary. It's scary. I'm genuinely, I'm scared. I would be testing all my food. I would not eat anything he prepared. Like, I would be so scared what else he's tampering with. You know what? Crazy. Also freaks me out is the fact that they share a child together because you're tied to them. Well, not only that, but then it's like, what does custody look like? And,

if you can't trust this person yet they're not doing anything that's outright enough to get custody yeah then it's just like are you going to be nervous every single time you have to drop your kid off do you know what I mean like just bad just bad yeah there's no comments from OPE but we do have some edits oh edit number one I thank everyone for giving advice the town home we live in is mine and my sisters are inheritance from my mother. My husband has an office slash den slash gaming room that is his personal space and there are no plants there. There are also no plants in the kitchen. I'm not a plant hoarder. Like he has room for himself. I also have a sunroom and that is where the concentration of plants live. He has no reason to go in there. It's not access

to our backyard or anything. I saw some people saying maybe he's sick of bugs, but I do not have a fungus gnat problem. I did see one person ask why I did not smell the bleach when I was watering. And I can only say my nose wasn't all up in there maybe. I also usually use a natural systemic in my fertilizer water called SNS-209. That smells heavily of rosemary. But I ran out last month and haven't replaced it yet. Why is this on her at all? Why are we asking all these, like, you have too many plants. Maybe he's annoyed of them. Doesn't fucking matter. Have a Don't kill my fucking plants. Right.

I think that what I'm thinking is that maybe they're just trying to get down to the bottom of it. Like, is this serious, scary shit? Or is it still extremely concerning? But, like, there's at least a motive behind it that makes sense rather than just being evil. Yeah. You know what I mean? After our conversation yesterday, I needed space. I spent the night in my daughter's room on a trundle bed.

I'm going to text my husband today. He usually communicates easier and opens up more via text rather than face to face. I'm going to ask for a reason, and I'll see what he says. Edit two. Sorry, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to update on a separate post. My husband won't be welcome in my home anymore, and I need to find a lawyer ASAP on Monday. Did something else happen? Or just after reading everything?

I did text him, and he admitted again to putting bleach in my fertilizer water. He says it wasn't every jug I ever made. so that explains why it wasn't all my plants dying, but randomly over the past six months. His exact words were that I deserved to be knocked down a peg. What the fuck? For having plants? For having a passion?

For having a hobby? For caring about a living organism? What does that even mean she needs to me knocked down a peg? Is he saying that? Yeah, what is he saying is my question. What does that mean? Is he saying that was he trying to say she has too many plants and he wants to have less? Or is he actually being a freak right now?

You think you're better than me because you have plants. You need to be knocked down a peg? Because I own the house we live in and I have plants in it. What? Red flags. After the text communication, I went home from work early and I entered his office. I usually respect his space. Absolutely.

I don't even go in there to grab dirty dishes. I don't know what I was looking for, but the hundreds of comments saying he was working up to something worse or already doing something else really worried me. I went in there and I found a drawer full of my daughter's dolls and dollhouse furniture and little toys. I bought her that dollhouse for her fourth birthday last year, and she loved it.

She takes such good care of her toys, but something always ends up missing, and it's always my husband who knows. notices. He lectures her about keeping track of her things and how he won't let her play with her dollhouse if she keeps losing things. I'm sick. He keeps going until she starts to sob. When I hear this going on, I always step in and ask him to take a break. I assumed he was losing his cool. I've told him this is not how to deal with this with a kid. And he says he just wants her to grow up responsible. I now see it was some weird scheme.

I'm so sick. Or set up or something? He would steal the stuff and stash it away and point out it was gone to berate our daughter until she cried. Wow. My sister and her husband and her husband's dad came over

this afternoon and they've changed the locks. I've texted him to tell him he isn't coming back and that he can come on Saturday morning to grab his essential things but that my brother-in-law and another man would be there to watch. Good. Sorry if this is unclear or things seem missing. This Reddit post isn't really my priority.

It will probably not be updating again. Thank you to everyone worried about my safety. Wow. Holy fucking shit. I literally got the chills in the worst way. Like the hebi-gibis is what I should call them. This sick mental psychological torture game you're doing with a fucking child? He's a psychie.

psychopath. Like, I'm terrified. Oh my God. We have an update. What? Trigger warning for this update. It does contain talks of domestic violence. This update comes six months later. Oh, my God. It actually just happened September 6th. The original post was March 21st. I recently got some messages asking me for the update and to let the internet know I'm safe. My daughter and I are both safe. Without getting into too much detail, but to satiate the curious, my husband, the man I thought I knew, has changed so much that I think of it like him ripping off a mask. He has sworn at me, screamed at me, and pushed me to the ground twice, and kicked me in the face. Wow. Our entire marriage, I was never, ever afraid of physical violence from this man. The police have been involved. Divorce is still in progress. After an initial period of intense anger, my husband seemingly stopped caring at all. He said he doesn't want any custody, and he wants to give up his parental rights of our daughter.

He doesn't see her. In the last month, I have heard he actually has a new girlfriend. His parents still talked to me. I was on good terms with his mom. Also a friend of my husband, who has been friends with him since college, reached out to me to ask what is going on. We texted. He says my husband has ghosted that entire group of friends he still had after someone in the group called him out for some of his assholeish behavior. One positive thing that is also sad is that my daughter is bright and wonderful. There has been such a profound change to her behavior since her dad has been gone. She's happy and silly and joyful. I guess there's been a change in both her and my behavior. I think of it like the frog in the boiling pot. I was sitting there boiling to my death and never realized.

We lived in a house of walking on eggshells. If my husband was upset, he would infect the house with hostility. I'm not sure I can describe it. I was constantly on guard and never able to relax. I was not afraid of physical violence, though, so I don't want to describe it as something more serious than it was. Thank you all for making me realize I was in that boiling pot. The sub says I need to pose a pose.

question opposed. What can I do for my daughter to let her know she's safe and loved always? I know I failed her whenever I heard her dad yelling at her about the dollhouse. I can say I tried to step in at all times when I heard it going on, but that doesn't seem enough. I feel so guilty. She is on a waiting list for therapy. Our structure is still the same. She looks like she's thriving, but I just don't know. Oh, don't feel guilty. You did the best you did the best you could do. I, oh, this is, as horrible as the story is, the ending makes me so happy because it just also feels like this is the positive side of the Reddit community, like shining this light. I mean, OPE would have figured it out eventually, but just being able to have this community behind her, like, this is the part of Reddit that I really love. I love.

And also, I'm like so thankful that he didn't want custody. But it's like, I don't even know if he would have gotten custody if he wanted to because of what he did. So it's just like as awful as the situation is. I'm so happy that it all played out without this nasty custody battle and that the daughter and that OP are brighter and lighter and happier. And that Reddit was able to be a source of hopefully comfort and awareness. So, oh, there's just a lot of feels behind that. But I literally almost started crying. Yeah.

Thank you all for making me realize I was in that boiling pot. Yeah. I mean, you said it so well. I just, it's amazing that people have a place they can turn to when they just feel like they're not being heard or they feel like they're crazy or alone. Am I overreacting? Is this weird? Scared. Yeah.

Everything. So, I mean, I thank God every day for Reddit, my life. is forever changed because of it and all of you guys. And I think the only lesson here is the power of community and good people. And it is never too late to get out. There's a story I read for one of our September full bonus episodes. Actually, it's in the first tier. It is one of the bonus stories. So it's in the basic entry level tier. But this story gets into this website. And this website is called love isrespect.org. There is a quiz on this website that essentially you answer these questions and it tells you if your relationship is healthy and respectful

and a loving relationship or if your relationship could be on the toxic side. It is by far one of the best organizations I've come across recently. When you enter their website, it stops you with a warning and it says heads up. If your browser history can be monitored without your knowledge, it can never be wiped completely. Think your internet might be monitored? Call us instead. You can quickly leave this website at any time by clicking X at the top right or by pressing the escape key twice. It has built in protections for people. If you hit X or hit the escape key twice, it immediately goes to Google. If you hit the back button, it goes back to Google.

Amazing. So if any of you are out there and feel that you might be in a unhealthy relationship or, honestly, I think this is a quiz that everyone should take. Yeah, might as well. See. I'm like in the middle of it. I started as we were doing this bonus story and I just haven't had time yet. But take it.

Justin's like, no. It's really important to just make sure. And, you know, we can get so. accustomed to things and it's it's hard like the lesson here is like it's it's hard to see when you're in it yeah it's hard to even know something's wrong when you're so used to it and you're married with a kid and i think that it's hard all of us can look back at our relationships and see things that were really hard to either see or really fully like understand or acknowledge while you're in the relationship there's just that's why they have the phrase how

Mindsight 2020. Literally. Literally. I just want to make it very clear. Like with this story especially, like there's no lesson for OP to learn. Like I really didn't know where this story was going. And, you know, it's more so a lesson for us. Like be there for the people in your life. Make sure your family who you question is in an unhealthy relationship is supported. Maybe share the link for the love is respect.org quiz. But I'm just so. It's so happy that she's safe. I mean, that physical violence is absolutely fucking horrific. No.

Unacceptable. This next one is coming from AIT-A-H, another form of Am I the Asshole, basically. It's two months old titled, Am I the Asshole for Hating My Wives' Creepy Project. Hmm. Okay, this sounds insane, but I swear my wife is a totally normal person otherwise, which makes this so strange to me. For context, we're both in our late 30s and live in a pretty typical suburban neighborhood where we all know each other. My wife has always loved trashy movies and shows about infidelities, and she eats up true crime about spouses killing their cheating partners, too.

She just says something about it makes her morbidly fascinated, in her own words. Well, a couple of months back, we had a scandal in our neighborhood where a married couple in the neighborhood divorced because the husband cheated. No, there wasn't a murder or anything like that, but she became obsessed with learning every detail from every neighbor. No matter the occasion, be it a baby shower or cookout, she would bring it up hoping there would be some new information. A month later is when I stumbled upon the board in her home office. I was doing some of the first. I was doing some I'm cleaning and I found a massive bulletin board facing away leaned up against the wall. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned it around to find a literal fucking conspiracy board

of all of our neighbor's pictures with lines of yarn connecting each other like the fucking Pepe Sylvia meme. I love her. I was totally confused and asked where this was and she told me it was a hobby. She had started recently, where she would track rumors or likely candidates for the cheating board. I love it. The yarn represented who was possibly cheating with whom. She had clearly gotten all of the images on Facebook or some social media and printed them out and even had a few sticky notes with details. I told her this was creepy and insane and she said maybe if I was doing it as a man, but she is just having harmless fun as a hobby, and she wouldn't be crazy and try to oust anyone based on these rumors. She just likes feeling like a detective. She told me to

view it like a creative art piece. I was still super weirded out, but I let it go, or tried to. I thought about it a lot. Well, every now and then, I admit to checking the board while cleaning. But just a couple of days ago, I looked to see that now I was on the board with a piece of yarn attached to a neighbor's wife that I am casual friends with. I asked her why she would add me if she thought I was cheating. And she said that was a different yarn color for potential matches for cheating. She said if it makes me feel better, she was planning on adding herself to the board soon. Well, I got pissed and kind of lost my temper about it. I told her to get rid of the board or our marriage will be in trouble.

Things have been super rocky since. Sorry for the long post. I'm starting to feel bad and it hit me more than usual this morning. Should I apologize to her? And before you ask, no, I don't suspect her of cheating. Honestly, I wish she was because it would at least make more sense than this. Am I the asshole? That's a hard one.

This is quite the hobby. I don't think he's the asshole only because he's concerned and he's bringing it up to his wife. Yeah. As you should. I think you're allowed to say how you're feeling. Oh, totally. Like, hey, this is a little weird. Yeah.

But like. Like creeped out. Yeah. As someone who is, I'm not nosy, but I do like to investigate. Oh, I'm nosy. I'm so nosy. And if she's living in the suburbs, I don't blame her. No.

There's nothing to do. No. So you start watching your neighbors and you get to know them. And then you start creating, I don't know, a little database file. I watch my neighbors now. I feel like, I don't blame her. I'm like, what are they doing down there? He's got that sign in his yard.

The other neighbor across the street did a big banner for retaliation. They're at war. He put a camera on the street side now. Yeah. My neighborhood is like filled to the brim with tea like this. I get it completely. Me too. Would I make the board?

I don't know. Would you make the board bill? I would make the board only because I'm psycho like that. I'm a very visual person, so I need to see everything. But I feel like, look, they should compromise. She can still have her hobby and have her little detective work going. But instead of a board. board, maybe put it into a notebook, write down everyone's name, all over, and just keep it more

private. It doesn't need to be displayed out in the house and get a little. It just like, it sounds like something that she's doing for fun and treat it like a little personal diary. What would happen if a neighbor came over and saw the board? God, how embarrassing. You'd have to move. You'd literally have to move.

Or make up some weird lie that you're now going to have to keep up forever about what you're doing and yeah. Oh my gosh. So I think the board's a little much. Maybe just like copy it into a notebook. But let her keep doing it. It's keeping her busy. I know.

There's other hobbies too. Pottery's fun. Pottery is fun. I want to get into sewing. It's on my list. I'm sewing so fun. It's on my list. Yeah.

She could do that. There's a lot. There's a lot. But I guess my big. My biggest question is what's her end goal? That is, yeah. Like she's getting all the pieces and stuff. Like what is she doing with this information?

Well, do you also kind of find it weird where I don't know how he got to this point, but he even kind of said, and before you ask, no, I don't suspect her of cheating. My mind didn't go there. So I'm curious why his went there. And it's like, did he kind of ponder, like, maybe she's making this board to detract, like, to kind of take the heat off her? Like, if there's strings and, oh, you're on the board, babe, to the neighbor that you are friends with and I'll put myself on the board soon. It is interesting where it's like, is this a part of a whole elaborate scheme to maybe hide an affair? Because I didn't go there.

I didn't go there either. I'm like, I'm very surprised he did. Yeah. Me too. But I guess maybe he's thinking like she's setting this all up or maybe he's thinking what other people might be thinking. Yeah. Is that she's setting this all up to make sure like who knows what and is it going to get back to her and her husband or something. But I don't think that's a case. Like if you're having an affair, you're not doing it. You're not doing that much. I feel like you wouldn't make it so like a billboard. Like this is a board in your home. Like you're going to connect the dots for him to take the heat off. Yeah. So... I'm like that. I don't think he's out of an affair. That would be another level of gaslighting to like literally put your affair on the board with a yarn, string connecting.

That'd be insane. That'd be kind of fun. That'd be insane. Top comment on this one. I really couldn't see it getting weirder until she mentioned adding herself to the board. This is a strange game your wife's playing and it seems like an unhealthy obsession with infidelity. Right? This is her way of admitting to cheating.

I'm so confused. So other people in the comments are kind of making... That she's cheating? I guess. A next comment is I'm thinking more fantasizing about doing it. If she was actually doing it, she wouldn't need this creepy hobby to keep her occupied. Which is what you said.

Like, you're kind of like if she was having an affair, like she wouldn't be doing all of this. You wouldn't be doing that. And you would get a diary. You wouldn't make a big, like you just, billboard in the house of like your affair. Yeah. I don't think she's having an affair.

I think she's bored. I really think she's bored and she found something like exciting going on. Yeah. Everyone's having an affairs and there's probably like will lies and little stories and she's just piecing it together. Oh my God. If anything, she should write some kind of gossip blog. A book.

A book. A book. Something. A TV show. It's giving Desperate Housewives. Yeah. Suburban Housewives. Like, come on.

I love that shit. It could be so good. It could be really good. So maybe they should. He, the partner. should nurture it so she could write a book and do something with that information that she's collected. Could buy you a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood.

Or maybe she's gathering blackmail to use against all of her neighbors just in case something happens. Well. Because if you got dirt on everyone, then they're not going to rat you out to HOA. Oh my gosh. I have horror. I have HOA horror stories too. Yeah, I have horror stories.

Trauma. I paid for trauma. Oh, my God. It's insane. saying what people do with HOAs. It's nuts. Oh, fuck HOAs. But we have an update on this one. Oh, okay. Great. I know. I love this. I know. Anyways, Jesus Christ. Firstly, appreciate all of the concern and not the assholes. It gave me the courage to approach her and tell her that while I may have overreacted by threatening our marriage, I think it is a creepy thing to do. She apologized and said she would

get rid of the board. I thought we were good. Literally two days later, two days later, shit hits the fan. Our happily married next door neighbor finds a woman's bra under the bed that does not belong to her. It doesn't take long for the whole neighborhood to find out. Well, my wife is giddy, like jumping up and down for joy. She shows me the board, which she still didn't trash like she promised, and of course the husband was marked with yarn, meaning he was likely to cheat. She told me the board was accurate after all, and maybe she should keep her hobby around. I was definitely suspicious, so I looked at the board again later. It looked different from the last time I saw it, before the latest scandal.

Instead of the yarn connecting to another neighbor, the cheating husband's yarn connected to a post-it with a question mark. Firstly, it was the only question mark there, and I swore it wasn't there the last time I saw the board. So either she changed it after the cheating to prove a point or slightly before it happened, which made me even more suspicious either way. Now, I felt like I was the detective and I was going crazy. I went over to the cheating husbands to ask a few questions. The wife was staying at her parents, so it was just the two of us. I asked him if he actually did it, and he said no, he would never.

Then I asked if my wife had been over recently. He said one day while you were at work, his wife asked her to water a plant they had while they were both away and told her where the key was. So yes, she had been over. Is she planting all of this? I immediately raised an eyebrow. I asked if he still had the bra, and he was getting nervous. and told me not to get the wrong idea. I said, don't worry. He still had the bra, and I looked at it. It was my wife's bra. But one I knew she almost never wore, because it was from a lingerie set,

I bought her one Christmas, and she said it was uncomfortable. I told my neighbor I needed to talk to my wife and ran out, but I told him not to worry. I approached her with the bra and asked her what was going on. She played stupid, but I told her to cut the BS. I asked if she had either cheated on me with him or planted it there. Either way, she was in trouble. She confessed to planting the bra and said it was to make me admit that her hobby was valid or something. Oh my God, she was dedicated. I flipped out on her.

I said this was worse than her cheating on me because instead of ruining just our marriage, she ruined our neighbors and ours. I demanded she called the wife and admit to everything, even sending pictures of the board. I even showed the Reddit post, which actually helped convince her that my wife had planted it rather than cheating with her husband. Well, they made up,

but now I have no idea what to do. I'm barely speaking to my wife, and it is only a matter of time before the entire neighborhood figures this out. I seriously need advice. Yeah, he does. You gotta move. If he sent pictures of that board to the wife,

that revet, like that, I would, I would post it on the neighbor's app. I would print it and put it on flyers on every telephone pole. Like, we have, we have a problem with this little board making, like, the revenge is going to come. What is she doing? Hot. At first I was supportive of her.

Now I'm very sad for her because I don't know what she's doing. I don't know. It's like why would she plan that just to prove a point? But that's going really, really, really far. It's like, girl, I need more information. How much money do these people make each year? Do they have kids? Do they live in the suburbs?

Is she just a rich boardhouse wife who wants to shake things up? Or is she like literally just kind of a little psycho? A screw is loose. Uh-huh. And maybe like when they show you a red flag, sometimes you're, it's a... It's a billboard instead. Yeah, it's a billboard.

I don't know. But do you jump your whole marriage over that? Top comment on this one. I honestly refuse to believe this is real. Your wife is actually nuts. This is insane behavior to have. Next comment. I was thinking just the opposite.

This one is so original, it's got to be real. No AI is going to come up with this insanity. That's left to humans. Yeah, that's true. One thing I haven't done is look and see if there's any comments from O.P. We have an update. A final update. We have a final update on this guy.

It was posted four hours ago. Oh, shit. Four hours ago now. Oh, God. When was it originally posted? Originally posted two months ago. Oh, wow. So things really played.

out quickly. I'm scared. Final update. I hope. It's been months since the last update. Sorry, I've been busy. Long story short, my wife is in a mental health facility. Mental illness is in the room. You called that. After what happened previously, I did not speak to my wife for a while. I tried to stay working or out of the house as often as I could. Well, a few weeks passed and time made it seem like less and less of a big deal. Finally, my wife offered to take me out to a very nice restaurant and make things up to me. She told me everything was behind her, and while I was avoiding her, she had actually started online therapy to get help and realized now that what she did was wrong. I really believed her, and we had a great night. One thing led to another, and yeah,

L-O-L. I took about two days after that for her to get a pregnancy test, and she texted me the positive result. Yeah, I know. Some of you already think I'm a fucking moron, but it had been a rough year, and this made me really happy. I started getting very excited. We started talking about turning my home office to a baby room, looking up ways to prepare, book appointments, planning a shower, etc. A really fun but whirlwind week. Unfortunately, she told me the first ultrasound was at a time I had to be at work, and she would have to go alone. Really bummed me out. and I asked her to reschedule, but she said it was the only availability. Well, that next week she went and I was waiting for an update, a picture, anything, nothing.

She came home and was super quiet, and I flipped out and got super worried that the worst has happened. I told her I understood she was probably in a lot of pain and something, but she told me she had to tell me something. She finally admitted, no, she wasn't dealing with losing the baby. But she was actually pregnant for longer than she thought. Longer than the last time we did it. Uh-oh. She actually got pregnant during the time I was avoiding her. What?

Do we think the neighbor? How are you going back to the neighbor? Ma'am! Obviously, I was so mad and upset. I couldn't understand why she would do this to me. But then I realized all the signs were there for so long. long and all the comments telling me she was probably cheating were right. But I tried to keep a clear head for at least a second because I really love my wife and I couldn't believe it.

Asked her who it could have been and she actually said she didn't know. She said she hadn't done it with anyone during the time I was avoiding her. Mm-hmm. Math. The math ain't math in. She swore it and also didn't know what this meant. I thought about it and realized if she was really pregnant for that long, her tummy should be showing, and it wasn't. I decided to call the place and asked them to confirm what they said. My wife told me it would be a waste of time, and she promised she heard them clearly, so I didn't do it that night. But I couldn't sleep without hearing it from the doctors for myself. I called the clinic she told me she went to the next day in the morning and asked them to confirm the results. They told me something worse than I expected. She had no visit.

was never there. I didn't understand that at all. Before I talked to my wife again, I did what I should have done in the first place and reverse image search the pregnancy test image. Yeah, it was on Google from a random years old Facebook post. I was again really mad at my wife and couldn't believe that she had put me through all of this. What is she doing? I'm just, wow. I confronted her about the picture and that I called the place and there was no appointment. I told her she had a pattern of lying, and this was probably the end of our relationship. But she responded in a way I didn't expect. She burst into tears and had a manic episode.

But then said that she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant and that I had made this up in my head because I couldn't face what she did to me. She said she felt like the devil and started sobbing and literally screaming at the top of her lungs. She locked herself in the bathroom and told me she was going to hurt herself over what she did to me. I couldn't get the door open and freaked out. I called the cops and they broke down the door. She wasn't hurt, but she was really out of it. They took her to get mental health help and she told them everything there.

She even started mixing in stuff about the board and how she knew everyone around her was a cheater, so she had done the same because she was in an evil place. She promised them she was pregnant, but she didn't know who the father was. They tested her while she was in custody, no pregnancy at all. They told me she was likely suffering from a form of schizophrenia and acted genuinely believing that what she was saying was true and likely always had to some level. But it seemed to be getting worse. They said she had a symptom called self-accusation and needed help. I got her in a facility last week.

She is safe. They're making a little progress. I do not think that she thinks she is pregnant anymore. I have visited a few times, but she is very withdrawn with me and says she feels too guilty to look me in the eye. I think there was definitely meddling at certain parts like planting evidence, but now I just feel terrible that I did not get her the help she needed

when all the real signs were there. I hope her medication starts to help, and she can be normal again. And yeah, the neighborhood gossip is having a field day with all of this. I bet. I bet. Anyways, thanks for listening. I hope this is my last update. Thank you all for the help. That's sad. That's sad because at first the surface story, you're like, she's just being weird. Well, I'm thinking she's being weird. Whatever, whatever, whatever. But then now that she's been, yeah, she's in the mental institution and mental hospital for schizophrenia. That is, that makes sense. That makes sense. The chart makes sense. The planting of the bra, the pregnant.

Like, it kind of makes sense. Yeah. And I feel really bad for him. That sucks. It's got to be so hard. They're both absolutely going through it. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I didn't jump to cheating from the jump.

Like, that first post, I didn't jump to cheating. Mm-mm. And even the second, we were kind of like, well, what is this all for still? And it does make sense, like severe mental illness, but like him being like, I feel bad. I didn't get her to help she needed. I don't know if I would have recognized these as warning signs, like the chart. Yeah, he shouldn't feel guilty at all. No.

He was concerned. He was concerned enough to bring it up to her to post it on Reddit. Yeah. So I don't feel like he should be guilty. It was just he wasn't sure where to go with it. No. You know? And like now having this whole resolution, which, wow.

I do think there could be a makeup here. They could mend this after a lot of therapy, medication management. But like, I have more hope now that like she's got a diagnosis and is getting help versus where we left off on update two of like her just planting this just to be evil or do create chaos. Totally. I'm glad she's getting help. I am too. which does, the top comment does say the same thing. She was probably suffering for mental illness for a while.

The recovery will be a long process. I've been through something similar as this. And finally divorced years after. I wish you luck and advise you to get some counseling yourself to learn how to deal with this. Good luck. Yeah. That's a lot. It's a lot for both of them.

And like I feel so bad for her too to like be in this facility and she's like, I can't even look you in the eyes. I feel too guilty. Right. The shame. I mean, I don't know because, like, I don't know anyone with schizophrenia, just what I've read. But, like, does she know what she did? I feel like based on the comment that she's not, like, she doesn't think she's pregnant anymore, it maybe feels like she's starting to, like, come down down to reality and kind of out of that manic episode.

God, that's scary. It's just scary one day you could wake up and then, like, your brain is just, off. It would be so scary because I feel like if you were going down that mental health, like down that spiral, it's a slow burn maybe initially. It seems that way based off of what I've read. Yeah. I love, I know we have a lot of listeners that have things like bipolar and I know we have some listeners with schizophrenia. If you could comment and like provide some insight about, you know, what that looked like for you if you're comfortable, of course, or, you know, what you see happening for this relationship. And if there's a chance of making amends, I'd love to have your

takes in the comments. It'd be really appreciated. Definitely. Definitely. And to know how to better be supported. Yeah. Like if your partner has schizophrenia, well, if you have schizophrenia, like how would you want your partner to support you? I'd love that. Yeah. I'd love that. And like how do you wish you would have been supported during your initial, you know, psychosis? Right. That would be really. helpful for a lot of people too because, you know, we do have a lot of people that are young and dating. Who knows if your partner will be affected by something like this. I know. It's so scary. It's so, it's a lot. Just a trigger warning on this next story, you guys. It does feature talks and discussions about losing a child and child death.

Mother-in-law's neglect killed my child. Now she thinks I'll let her around my second child. Sorry, this is so long. My mother-in-law will. was guilty in the death of her grandchild, my daughter. She was two years old at the time, and my husband and me let my mother-in-law babysit her while we were busy with job-related things. It was summertime, and they were staying in mother-in-law's house that has a pond next to it. My daughter loved water. Bath time was her favorite time of the day. They were playing at the edge of the pond, and then mother-in-law remembered she had to take clothes out of the dryer, and she left a two-year-old alone next to the large body of water. My daughter's childlike

curiosity plus her love for water resulted in her getting into the deep part of the pond and drowning. All because mother-in-law considered clothes in the dryer and important enough reason to leave a toddler unsupervised. Then she realized what has happened. She started to panic and call for help. Her neighbor heard her, they got into the pond and called an ambulance, but it was too late. Imagine what it's like for a parent to come to the person you trusted your child with and they tell you your child is dead. And mother-in-law was begging us not to involve the police in the this. She kept repeating, it was an accident, and she, quote, doesn't know how it could have happened, quote, was only gone for a moment, quote, feels even worse than we do. Quote, calling the police won't

bring her back. Gaslighting. We did call the police, of course, and she was charged with criminal negligence and sentenced to three years in prison, which, in my opinion, was too light of a punishment. Now, recently, mother-in-law was released from prison, and my husband was the first person she looked for contact with. He never once visited mother-in-law while she was imprisoned. Unintentionally, but she did cause the death of her child by neglecting her duties as a babysitter. Doesn't matter that she served her sentence. Neither I or my husband will ever forgive her for this.

Neither has she asked for forgiveness. All she gave us were excuses and more excuses. In the courtroom, my husband told her she's not his mother anymore, that she's dead to him and that he never wants to see her face again. Our marriage was damaged too. We were depressed. We fought a lot. There were times when we were on the brink of divorce.

We separated for a while. I left for another country thinking that this is it for us. However, my husband came to look for me and we managed to save our family and continue our life together. That's so cute. Anyone looking for her? If he wanted to, he would. Okay. He wanted to, he would. Yeah. He looked for her in a different country. Yeah.

We're both on the verge of two. I've like that sent me. Like I've already been like emotional this whole story. I couldn't bring myself to have any more children for a long time, but eventually I got pregnant again and last summer we welcomed our son. He's nine months old now. Obviously, we weren't going to tell mother-in-law we're parents again, but she saw us walking with a baby stroller and realized that once more she has a grandchild. So she tried to get in contact with my husband. First, she approached him for not visiting her, cried about how hard it was for her to spend all those years behind bars,

that she shouldn't have been in prison because she's too old for that. How could he do this to his own mother? How could he abandon her? Then she was like, But I saw you have a new baby. I'm so glad I have a grandchild again. And then she went on about, is it a boy or a girl? When will she be able to see them and meet them?

she wants to take care of them so much. My husband told her immediately that she doesn't have anything. This is our child, ours only. Our son doesn't have a grandmother. We'll be telling him this as he grows up and he will never ever in a million years be anywhere around her. We're 100% on the same page about this. The loss of our daughter still hurts

and we're going to do the impossible to protect our son from her. He doesn't need an irresponsible grandmother who would likely endanger his life, just like she did with his sister. Mother-in-law was shocked to hear this and began to wail about us being so evil and cruel towards her that we're going to hold that against her forever, even though she paid for it, and we cannot be so heartless to prevent her from seeing her grandchild. But what was she thinking? What was she hoping for?

That we're really going to let her around our baby? That will ever trust her with babysitting again? honestly, I'm not sure if I can leave my son with any babysitter. I don't trust babysitters anymore. Because if a grandmother can be careless enough to let a child die, who knows what could an unrelated person do. So my husband told her firmly that she'll have no access to the baby, and he doesn't want to talk to her either.

So now that she's out of prison, she should do something useful with her life and leave us alone. I like that. Mother-in-law wasn't having it. That evening she came to our house asking to see her grandchild again. We didn't let her come in, obviously. And mother-in-law got mad, claiming that as a grandmother, she has rights to meet her grandchild. We told her that she lost all her rights to our children when she let our daughter drown.

If a trust is broken, it cannot be repaired, and there are some things that can just not be forgiven. Mother-in-law told us she'll go to court and she'll demand legal permission to meet the baby. Good luck. Exactly. I'm not sure if there is such a thing, but if it's true, I highly doubt she'll get it considering her criminal record. If we need to go to court and prove she's not the type of grandmother you should let around your child, we'll do it. If she comes back again, we'll call the police. If we need to leave this country and go live somewhere else just to be away from her, we'll do it. Nothing's impossible. I'm amazed at the shamelessness of her. She knows very well she tore apart our lives three years ago. No parent should bury their. child, but we had to because of her, and now she comes to us as if she's the best relative ever, as if nothing happened. I first just want to point out how refreshing it is to see like a couple aligned. Same page.

You know, they're like very much a united front on this. And I think that's like amazing because I have read about losing a child, the traumatic effects it can leave and the detriments it could be to a marriage because that is such an unforgivable pain. And so to see this couple, like, even though obviously they had a moment, they are sticking it out. They're very aligned. They're bullish about this. And I think that's great. But for the unfortunate part, like, there's no question that this grandmother is unfit. And she's not, I mean, the fact that she thinks she can go to court and get any type of rights is just laughable. Come at me, bro. With her without, without the criminal charge, let's just say she

didn't have that criminal charge. She's still, you don't, you're not entitled. two rights. You can fight for custody if you can prove that the parents are unfit. That's clearly not the case here. But on top of that, you have a criminal charge for child endangerment. So good luck. You served a three-year sentence in prison. Yes. For being convicted, not charged of child endangerment. You were found guilty. That's on your record. You don't think they're going to factor that in when you go in there pleading for rights. No. Parental, whatever, guardianship. Like you're automatically fucked. Yes. Have fun. But even without those charges, you have absolutely no entitlement to the child. No. And from what I've seen on legal Reddit, granted, not a lawyer,

could be speaking out my ass here. I have no idea. From what I've seen based on legal Reddit and other stories kind of similar to this, where grandparents are like coming out of the woodwork, they're toxic and like need to be kept away from the children, it's really, really hard to get grandparent rights. And there already needs to be like a very established connection with that grandchild for a court to like really consider it. Yeah. I mean, otherwise what on what grounds are you considering that on? Yeah. So this is, I mean, this is a no-brainer for me. Like, absolutely the fuck not. No. I would not. This is an instance where I'm like, yeah, fuck you. You don't get another chance. You don't get another chance here. She fucking killed their child. And there's

no coming back from that. Not a chance. And the behavior has been, I don't want to say non-remorseful because it shows like there is some remorse, but it's very like. Basically none, though. It's coming from a place of self-interest because I feel like if you were that remorseful, I'm just thinking about myself. First of all, I am such a guilt-ridden person. I was talking about this recently with somebody. Apparently I have guilt written into my DNA at this point. It's like ancestral karma.

And so I have like guilt. So interesting. Ancestral guilt. And so I feel guilt for like if somebody does something and it results in a consequence because of me, I feel an immense amount of guilt. it has nothing to do with me. Yeah. And so in this situation, if that were, if I were the grandmother, I mean, the guilt I would feel would be so absolutely unmeasurable and unbelievable that I would like to believe just based

on the way that I think, I'd be like, don't ever let me around your grandchild. I'm so sorry. And I don't deserve to ever be around your grandchild ever again. Like the family should be, if anything, like you should know that you are a danger to the children at this point. Where's the self-awareness? Yeah, the self-awareness would be like, I feel so fucking bad. I can never trust myself again with your child.

I'm an idiot for that. I'll never forgive myself. I understand why you hate me. I understand why you never want me around your child again. If you do, I would absolutely love to meet the child with your supervision, of course. But I don't blame you. And I wouldn't trust myself around a child ever again. I would have so much guilt that I wouldn't even want to watch another child, let alone my grandchild.

Yeah, and that's where it shows her disconnect from reality. Exactly. Like, I think just even right after the fact, her saying that she feels even worse than we do. Yes, that's exactly what I was getting at. Like, they just lost their child. Yes. And you're saying you feel worse than them. And calling the police won't bring her back. Yeah. It was, it was totally like self-serving. Gas lady. Gas lady. Like, don't, don't call a police on me. I don't want to go to jail. It won't bring her back. It's like self-preservation. I would be like, here, handcuffed me immediately. I fucking deserve life in prison. Yeah. Take me away. No. And like there was never an apology or what O.P. said basically like she never asked for forgiveness.

And also the lack of awareness again to play off of that. Clearly this couple did not want you to be a part of their son's life, their new nine-month-old son. Yeah. So when you didn't get that invite in the mail to come meet him or you didn't get that heads up and you saw them walking, you should have taken that as a very clear like no response as a response. Like they didn't reach out to you. So they clearly don't want you to be a part of. his life. Exactly.

And an ounce of self-awareness would tell you that. Also, what a fucking coincidence. She just happened to see them walking. Yeah, that part kind of weirded me out. I'm like, are they from a small town? Because she was probably trying to find them. Yes. I was thinking the same thing.

I'm like, that's kind of a wild coincidence. She was probably trying to find them. Yeah. Yeah. They need to stick together, stick to their guns. If they need to move in another country, do it. Because this is the type of lifetime movie network where I see this grandmother becoming unhinged. Next thing you know.

Trying to kid. Yeah. Yeah. Well, especially the fact too. I'm so glad I have a grandchild again. No, you don't. You're the sole reason that the first one is gone. Oh my God. Yeah, that sucks. What if she tries to frame the parents as neglectful? Like, what if that's her plan? She's going to go to court

because what you could do is go to court and try to deem the parents as unfit and that you should assume guardianship of that child. But in order to do that, you have to have like a substantive case. You know, what I mean. But like this person, if they become anhinged, you don't know. She's clearly off her goddamn rocker. For sure. The comments are just amazing, full of so much support. Yeah, Reddit.

Commenters are so good at putting their thoughts into like short. Cohesive. Yes. I mean, granted, when you write, you have the ability to be a little bit more composed than when you're just candidly speaking. But the comments on here are just gold. Yeah, they are. So they're very, very supportive and just like you should get a lawyer ASAP, send a cease and desist letter. Another one goes, kind of like a POV. Grandma, quote, I'd like to see my grandson. Judge. Hell not.

Yeah, right? That's what. What? In what world? This woman is so disconnected from reality. Completely disconnected from reality. Like what's disillusioned? Like she's just so.

She served three years in prison. It's still for child endangerment. Still didn't get knocked into her freaking head. What? Your guilt should feel so heavy. And here, I'm not saying she shouldn't forgive herself. I think everyone should. Everyone needs to come to peace with things they've done.

Yes. But the fact that she feels so entitled to this grandson. I really want to take care of my new grandbaby. Yes. It's just beyond. In what fucking world? No. The person goes, exactly how much right does she think she has?

A normal grandparent has very little leg to stay. stand on with two non-abusive parents in the picture. Bingo. Let alone her. Bingo. Yeah. A lot of people are like, get a restraining order. True. And honestly, I think it needs to go there. Yeah, I didn't even think about the whole restraining order thing. Yeah. Because you have enough for this. Get that lady away from you. Okay, so this first one is titled The Tinderstalker. I matched with a man on Tinder one day. The conversation got spicy and I gave him my number so we could continue chatting. We texted that night. We never exchanged photos or nudes or anything like that, never made plans

to meet up. The conversation died and I forgot about him. Weeks go by and I deleted the conversation. Then, late one night, I get a lewd photo of a man I don't recognize. I think of insulting them, but decide to just delete it and not respond. A few weeks later, I get another one. I have the idea to check my deleted messages to make sure I don't know them. Sure enough, I find out that it's the Tinder guy. It's really weird of them to text me a month later, just lewd images after no contact or anything for over a month. Ew, so I blocked them.

A couple of weeks later, I got a lewd video on my Apple Watch. It's the same guy. I'm not sure how I got the message on my watch, if I already blocked his number. I block him again on my watch. What a weirdo, I think. A week later, I leave my apartment to go in a walk. I see him.

He is right there in front of my apartment walking towards me. He has the same outfit as his profile photos and same tattoos and hat. So I'm certain it is him. I never mentioned where I lived. I'm freaked out. But I'm dressed in baggy clothes and recently changed up my hair color. So I keep my head down in hopes he just doesn't recognize me. I walk right past him.

I was too scared to look at him to see a reaction if he actually recognized me. I was too scared to look back in his direction to see where he went. So I just kept walking forward. I was severely freaked out, but nothing else happened after that, and I never saw them again. I never mentioned where I lived, so my only thought is he must have used my phone number to look me up. Yep.

It was the least likely person I would have expected, just some random person I messaged for only one day on Tinder. Even the lewd content they sent, I still just thought they were a regular purve. I never expected them to somehow show up at my apartment. They didn't even text a word to me or attempt to meet up. They just sent lewds over two months and then appeared. It's just so random and weird,

I think their motive was definitely something sexually perverted. It gives me creeps to think about what they wanted, but I'm glad they left me alone. I never give out my real number to dates anymore. Yeah. I think that is kind of crazy, just the ability to look someone up these days. But I laughed because the fact that they had the same clothes on as their profile photo,

I mean, what's the chance? Is that just your favorite outfit? Maybe that's his only outfit. I guess you got to kind of think about that when you're making something, your profile picture. If it's something you wear a lot, then you may maybe not want to make your profile picture because who knows, just in general, not in this creepy sense.

But yeah, I just picture the get-out scene where the guy's full-on sprinting because whoever the actor is wakes up in the middle of night and is kind of outside smoking or something and then they look up and just see like sprinting, dead straight. Obviously this wasn't sprinting but walking. But that's the intensity I feel. Because all of a sudden out of nowhere,

you connect the dots in your head. and you're like, holy shit, that's the guy. And they're walking right towards you. It would be hard to think that that's a coincidence. There's no chance. Like, unless you're from the same city block in New York, I don't know how you, I don't know, it's just crazy. And then the fact then to be really smart and think,

okay, I'm wearing clothes that make me unidentifiable. and I recently changed my hair. So I'm just going to make the call to not react and just walk forward and walk past. So, so smart. Crazy. I wouldn't even have thought of that. No. I would have been like...

Immediate panic, turn around. And then that's when bad shit happens. I just like, the ability to not look to... Oh, the turnaround? Yeah, that can give it away. I literally just watched a TikTok of a girl today, and she was like, I got to tell you guys about this. And like, let me know if I'm overreact.

acting and she got in an elevator hit her floor number that she lived on four and all of a sudden a guy gets in and he doesn't hit a number and she could just feel him staring at her not looking around just watching her and so she hesitates when the elevator gets to her floor and she's like I don't know what to do like he knows where I live I already can't go to any other doors I already hit four I don't know what to do. She can't go to any doors. Like the hallway is weird, how it's like dead ends. And like she's trapped and like it was really, really scary.

And she goes, I watched him get out on my floor and watch what room I went into. And he didn't come down the hall. But like, I was terrified. And it's that feeling of like being prey. That is like how people were describing it in the comments. And then they shared their stories. but like you just know you get this gut feeling and this sense and like cross the street if you have to do whatever you have to be weird do whatever but that feeling of being prey well especially when they're like it's a hallway like that there is no way out that's how my apartment was in new york most if any because some hotels you can get out and walk the full circle if you were trying to just kind of you know not just distract or evade, but yeah, mine, you'd take a left or right out of the elevator and that was it.

Oh. And you're not going to go into anyone else's place. You can't. It's different, you know, when you're being followed in a car, you know, you go to the police station or you can just drive around or you can pull up to your friend's place. You can, you know, there's more options. But in your apartment. And he knows what floor she lives on.

He knows what apartment is hers. I mean, that's incredibly. invasive. Even back to the story we're on with the passing on the sidewalk, it's still so freaky, because then you're narrowed down to a place and you start to think this was targeted. What did she say she was leaving? Or was she just outside? Walking out of their apartment, yeah. Yeah. And the part you pointed out about not looking back. Because when you start looking back, it gives them a chance to see your face and like,

just a total badass. There's only one comment in regards to this post. It was about a year and a half ago, I recently moved. But right after it happened, one of the first things I did was install a security camera. I slept with a knife for a couple of weeks and even cut myself on accident. I had problems sleeping for weeks. It was affecting my mental health. I was way over paranoid.

But what I learned is don't ever give your phone number or full name to somebody unless you fully trust them. Stockers can use that info to find your adjo. dress. I met someone else who was stalked via phone number and a man came to his house with a knife. I never, and like that is such a great point. I never would have like thought like, oh, I'm meeting someone on Tinder after talking to them for a week. Like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I guess I shouldn't give them my phone number. Like I've never thought about that. But it makes sense. Like use WhatsApp, use, keep just messaging on the app until you really know them, I guess. I mean, the issue is you can find all of that just off someone's name, really.

So it's crazy. I think really the moral is you never feel too safe. Don't be paranoid to the point where it affects your whole life, but never get too comfortable and too safe because most times you're fine. But if you have your guard up and you do take the precautions, have a security camera. you know they're for what they provide they're not that expensive and also there's other things like door and window sensors um even some of the tools you use in hotel rooms yeah make the door harder to open or wedges with the alarm moves the alarm goes off yeah those it gives you it gives you more of a fighting chance to react and do something to prevent whatever i know especially if you live alone like i think you should automatically have those things if you live alone. Well, and even just for peace of mind when you're not home, I don't know. And it not, it doesn't always have to relate to other people, but it can relate to a fire or a flood or just simply being able to check the cameras around and for us, look at the

horses, make sure the horses are good, or make sure the inside of your house isn't flooding or something's going on. It just feels good to know. Yeah. And then if something does happen, especially when you're not there, you can react instead of coming back home to a potential very dangerous situation. Never can be too safe. I would rather be paranoid and weird than not safe enough.

Yeah, but don't lock yourself in your room and never leave because you're scared of the world. Honestly, that sounds kind of nice too. Well, yeah, but you got to also live life. So you've got to find the balance, but definitely protect yourself. Absolutely. Because this stuff is real

and everyone feels really good until it happens to them or someone they know. And then it's just like, so take steps now. Yeah. Top comment, this is actually terrifying. There are seven different types of stalkers.

Here is the article that explains them. I'm super wigged up by your story because I recently learned of a woman who was viciously attacked in her apartment by a man. She did not know who, as it turns out, stalked her for several years before he broke in and tried to kill her. Please don't sweep this one under the rug

and protect yourself. Have a weapon close by where you sleep, have cameras around your home, be vigilant, when out and about, etc. This could be nothing, or it could be a horrible situation waiting to happen. And that's also the shitty part is you just, you don't know.

I've had situations like that before. I've been through them, and when you're sitting there waiting, just wondering, because you feel that threat is there. Yeah. I mean, it really sucks. It's just horrible. Alejandro's had a stalker. I mean, stalking is like very, very serious, very dangerous, and it's oftentimes overlooked.

And I clicked on the link to look at the different types of stalkers. And it's from fighterlaw.com. I'm not sure how accurate this resource is, but they do reference that studies have indicated that up to 16% of women and 7% of men are likely to be stocked in their lifetime. That's like almost a quarter. That's an eighth?

I don't know what the math is on that, but that's a lot. That is a lot. But there's seven different types, as that person mentioned, rejected stalker, resentful, intimacy seekers, incompetent suitors,

predatory stalkers, aerautomatic stalkers, and love obsessional stalkers. Crazy. And they'd give a full breakdown. So I'll put this on there. Apparently a hitman is also a type of stalker. Well, yes. I mean, that, I guess that qualifies. Crazy.

A hitman. A hitman. So it's just wow. I know this is sidetracked, but just crazy that, you know, you think all these movies and shows and whatever you watch. Oh, hitmen. Yeah, great plot point adds to the story. No, but they're real.

Super real. They're real. Oh, what do you do? Well, you know, I get paid to kill people. That's absolutely insane. It's disgusting. Insane. I just saw, because I'm starting a true crime thing soon, very soon.

And I was just looking at some cases. and there was a woman who actually killed her hitman. He broke in, her husband hired him, and she fought him off and killed him. How do you get in touch with a hitman? I don't know. I don't want to know. It's terrifying.

Don't look into hitman. This one was originally posted by username Baby Blues 17, for those of you that want to look into it. But it is quite terrifying. I'm pregnant and being investigated by the Department of Child Services. Oh, man. Hello, I'm a 29-year-old, happily married. My husband and I are college-educated, have respectable, stable jobs, own a home in a nice neighborhood,

were basically as prepared as anyone can be to start a family. I'm almost nine months pregnant with our first child. The problem is that 11 years ago, when my husband was a freshman in college, he was arrested for possession of marijuana. It was a large enough amount that he was charged with a Class D felony. Our jurisdiction is very harsh regarding marijuana, but not intent to deal. He pled guilty and did his time and probation without a problem, passing every drug test along the way.

He has not touched marijuana or any other illegal substance since, and we rarely even drink, and haven't at all in over a year. I have no criminal record and have never done drugs myself. It was a stupid mistake he made as a foolish 18-year-old, and he's worked hard to put it behind him. Someone has apparently contacted child services in our area and informed them that we are drug users. This accusation is being taken very seriously because of my husband's record. We have been as cooperative as could be with our caseworker. We've been interviewed.

Our home has been examined, and she found nothing remotely serious or incriminating. we have both taken drug test and passed. Our caseworker says everything looks just fine so far. Unfortunately, she also says that there's still the possibility that our child could be taken from us in the labor and delivery ward and that we won't be allowed to take her home. I was devastated and horrified to hear that. When I asked why, she said it was, quote,

not up to her and we'll have to wait and see. which made absolutely no sense to me. What gives? I feel like there's something she isn't telling me, but I have no experience with DCS and I'm not aware of anything we could have possibly done wrong. I know they'll have to test my daughter for drugs once she's born, but she has not been exposed to drugs,

nothing more than prenatal vitamins and Tylenol. And I've already proven that by passing a drug test. I'm scared and confused. Do I need a lawyer? I had anticipated spending our savings on our new daughter slash parental leave, but I will use that money for a lawyer if I have to. Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for your help.

There's an update. Do you want me to just read the update first? It sounds like you want to. Say your comments where you're thinking right away. I don't have a comment. I think I have a question. I'm curious as to who reported that. Very fishy.

Very fishy, right? Yeah. I mean, my comment is just like, this is so fucked up and it's just so sad and shows how like broken the system can be and how like vulnerable you are to like a misstep with the law. Oh my God. Yeah. But I guess the lingering question is my in my mind that I can't ignore is like who anonymously reported that?

It's very fishy. Yeah. Especially since the fact that happened when he was 18 and they're now. Yeah. She's 29. Yeah. probably 29. A decade later. Yeah. So I'll read the top comment on the post. Okay. And then maybe we can just do the update. Yeah. And then talk about it because that's where it gets

weird. Okay. I am a former Indiana CPS investigator slash assessor. Something here is not making any sense at all unless the law has changed greatly in the last few years when I left the department. As of this moment, you are pregnant, correct? You don't have any children. they are investigating the fetus. Someone replies, former CPS worker here too. Agree with you. CPS does not investigate pregnant women

with no current children. Something is not right. I literally just got the chills. Oh, I got the chills too. So O.P. goes, yeah, we have no children yet. They are investigating the fetus. I wasn't aware that was something they even could do. The report they got must have seemed quite alarming, I guess.

It seemed weird as heck to me, too. And someone goes, if people who have worked with CPS are saying something is off here, maybe it's an idea to contact CPS yourself. Not through any contact the worker you have been in contact with has given you, but by finding their number on the internet and ringing directly. Ask if the worker actually works there, for starters. And I'm not sure if they'd tell someone if there was an open file on themselves, but maybe you could ask that too.

I've heard a few stories of people posing as CPS maliciously. I didn't even think of that. I had no idea by this one. Like, I was just blown away that this is a thing. But let me read the update. Okay. And it'll make sense. Okay.

Ooh. Yeah. This is the shit that I came for. So it goes, update, I'm pregnant and being investigated by DCS. Here's the link to my original post. When I made it, I was advised to get a lawyer right away. I was also advised that Indiana's, DCS doesn't investigate pregnant women who don't already have kids and that the woman claiming

to be a social worker might be an imposter. I contacted him met with a lawyer and explained the situation to him. He seemed to agree that something was very fishy. To make a long story short, the woman, quote, handling our case has no affiliation with the Department of Child Services. Oh my God. I am still in complete shock. We went straight to the police. They're taking this very seriously. I can't give a lot of details because it's an ongoing investigation, but she seems to have been a very skilled slash well-researched liar. I never would have known anything was amiss without the advice of this subreddit and the intervention of my attorney. I feel like a complete idiot, but the instinct to cooperate unquestionably when faced with an intimidating authority figure

is strong. I haven't had the baby yet. We're staying at a trusted family member's home until the baby is born. My OB in the hospital will be delivering at, have already been informed of the situation, and will be taking the appropriate security measures. I'm still freaking out, but we're taking every precaution for the safety of my child. And hopefully, everything will turn out okay. Thanks again, everybody, truly. Oh my God. Reddit, like, saved her. I was literally just going to say that. Without Reddit, this baby would have been kidnapped. Literally. Kidnapped. I had just have to say, and I know, that I, like, I've had some criticism about people because I openly admit I wasn't very familiar

with Reddit when we started this, me personally. I know you're like very familiar with Reddit. I live on this bitch. Yeah, I was not very familiar with Reddit. I will fall on my sword. And through this podcast and other mediums, I've become more familiar with Reddit. And like, it's so cool and interesting. and helpful. And, like, stories like this, I'm just like, it is such a powerful community. Blown away. It's such a powerful community.

Like, the fact that the commenter, the top poster was a former, like, I think you said, Department of Child Services, whatever his role was. For the same state. Yeah. Like, you don't get access to people like that. No. Just by nothing. The fact that this community can bring you to, like, trusted,

experts is insane to me. It's insane. It's so powerful though. And it's so cool because who knew that people like that, like, it's easy to forget that people on Reddit can be like professionals. They can be lawyers. They can be doctors. They can be federal employees. They can be teachers, civilians, whoever. And you forget that these people have this expertise. Yeah, outside of their internet rule. Yes, that they can give you that can literally save lives. Reddit is the most amazing community. Like if you're struggling, there's, there's a niche for you. There's a subreddit that you can go to. Oh yeah. But like this one, like this was either kidnapping an adoption scheme where that happens. And look at like, again, like this is an eerie, creepy episode. There's so

many stories and there's this one lady. I'm forgetting her name right now. But she ran this adoption ring and she would steal babies from hospitals and put them up for adoption. But then if the kids would age out, she would literally like murder these kids. Oh my God, no. Yeah. And there were over like, I don't even want to give a number because I'm not remembering this like to a T, but they found so many bodies of kids she had murdered. Fuck no. Hell no. And it's just crazy. Like there was actually a famous celebrity, but there's a famous celebrity that actually adopted kids from her. No. She was well, like, well into the system. Like everyone went to her, but she would kidnap babies from hospitals.

Oh my God. And that's what this was. This was child trafficking. This was like an adoption thing. Like, no one poses as a government official to steal a baby otherwise. For no, I mean, unless you have infertility or you struggle to conceive on your own, I mean, that's a thing. There are people that kidnap children when they cannot have their own.

If they completely lose it, though. Right. I know. Like otherwise, like, no. But these people seem like they've kind of lost it. Like, my initial thought was this is like a. a disgruntled ex who doesn't want to see her like ex-boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever, like have a happy family.

Yeah. So I'm thinking like, oh, the anonymous report was totally like a jealous ex-lover who is trying to ruin their family. But then my thought was, oh, this is child trafficking. Yeah. This is child trafficking. They're trying to like abduct the child, sell or do whatever they're going to do with the child, which is.

Disgusting. Terrifying. It just goes to show, I mean, if there's anything to take away from the story, one, Reddit's an amazing community that you can always turn to. And two, like, don't, I think she makes a great point. Like, don't just take an authority figure at face value. I was just going to comment on that. Yeah.

It reminded me in a sense of, like, the Stanford prison experiment. And there's another experiment I'm forgetting the name of where it's like, Like, they had this electroshock equipment. And they took two people, introduced them before, and they go, okay, like, we're doing this experiment about shocking to see, you know, how that can control, whatever. I'm butchering what this is. I'll post the links in the description of the YouTube for it, obviously. But essentially it was if you have accredited individual giving you directions, are you going to follow them?

or are you going to realize what you're doing is wrong and like be your own judge? So in this experiment, they had this one person on the side giving shocks to this individual. And it was like they had to answer questions and if they answered it wrong, they would get shocked. And so the person kept answering the questions wrong and they were shocking them. But there was like a fake sound on the other thing where the person would be like, help, please don't shock me again. I can't take it anymore. And they would turn to the researcher and be like, I don't. I don't think I should shock them anymore.

And the research would be like, no, no, no, it's okay. Keep going. This is important for the experiment. And they were essentially doing this. How did the Holocaust happen? How did people follow such terrible directions from granted authoritative figures? But how did this just happen? But this is a good example.

When an authoritative figure shows up at your door, pretends like they know what they're doing, like how did they take a drug test? Oh, yeah. How did they go to like a lab and take a drug test and like, yeah. I just. I mean, it's like it's scammers at their finest. Like people have gotten. Yeah, people have gotten really, really creative with like scams. And that's scary.

And it's just, it's a reminder to like always stay curious. I'm like very, very skeptical. That's like crime junkie's motto. Yeah, yeah, it is. It's, stay curious, stay weird. Do they say stay curious? I think they say something else. Wow, why did I stutter so much?

It's like, I just like stuttered every word in that sentence. They say, I don't think it's stay curious. Be weird, be rude, stay alive. Yes. Yes. Like always just ask questions. Yeah, stay curious. Stay curious.

Stay on edge. Yeah. Stay alert. I think that's right. You just should always check things. There's something to be said, like you almost should assume the worst. because you're ready to explore all avenues if it does go south. I can be very pessimistic at times, but I think kind of thinking, okay, well, like,

if this happens, what's the worst case scenario? Because then I'm prepared and I kind of evaluate plan A, B, C. And I think that's like a lot to be said for situations like this. First dates. If you're going on a date with someone, please make sure people know where you are. And there's like a lot on TikTok going around right now where it's like, yeah, I background check my dates before I go on them. As you should.

Yeah. I'm sorry. And there's like men get attacked and, you know, just like women. And I get that. But like women are, I think, more vulnerable to these types of situations, like stalking and murder and, you know, sexual assault. So that's right. And, you know, if you're a guy listening, install the thing on your phone too. Like everyone is at risk to have something bad happen.

Like, no one's immune to shit happening. That's true. So just be as safe as you fucking can. Everybody, exactly. And you just said that and I grabbed my phone because so there's this, I'm like that too. I always visualize worst case scenario. And I listen to this TED talk. And there's actually a like a Greek philosophy behind it.

And it's called, I'm probably but it's called like premeditatatio malorum. And what that means is it's visualizing the worst case scenario in detail that you, you fear preventing you from taking action so that you can take action. So essentially, you visualize the worst case scenario that would paralyze you so that you can be armed to take action. If, God forbid, it does happen. Exactly. It's actually a philosophy and it's a form of stoicism. Is my, do I say that right? Yeah. Did I? Stoicism. It's like, you can look this up. So pre-Mittatatio Malorum. I don't know if you can plug that into TED Talk. And it talks about this. And I'm like, both of you and I, it sounds like we experienced that where you visualize the worst case scenario

so that you are able to act if it does happen. And I don't really think that's a bad thing. I think it's a good thing. I don't at all. No. I think there's been a lot about toxic positivity. I think when you're like too positive and you're like, nothing bad's going to happen, it's fine. It's the same concept. You don't know how to act if something bad does happen. And you don't know how to prevent things from happening. And I'm like, everyone needs like a fucking attack keychain. Like get fucking wasp spray or bear spray or mace. Get a tile, put a tile hidden in your car.

Put a tile, like, or not a tile. Like I just got the new little Apple trackers. Like the air tags are magical. Share your location. Like I know some people are like not for it. But I don't know. At least one person in your life. At least somebody that you try.

Like your ice, like you're in case of an. emergency, you should have at least one or two people on your location. I have my boyfriend. I have, like, I have you. I have like my close friends. If you live with somebody, that person should absolutely have your location. Because if you don't come home, they're going to be the first ones to know that you're, you didn't come home. They're going to notice. And they're going to be like, me, Lauren and Sarah, we track each other all the time. Like I'm sure Sarah's like, yeah, 10 o'clock where is she? Bitch needs to be in bed. Yeah. So anyway, no, definitely like, take all the precautions.

I know. I think one thing that's really, really cool about Apple's new air tag too is I have one on my key ring for my car keys and I put one in my car in case my car gets stolen. Yeah, smart. And so my dad's been like borrowing my car because his was in an accident

and his phone gave him a notification. And it was like unidentified air tag has been following you. What? Yeah. So this is great like in regards to stalkers. If a stalker, maybe I shouldn't share this information in case a stalker's listening and putting it on someone's car. Basically, I think I, yeah.

But yeah, like if someone is using an air tag to stalk you and my dad hadn't even used my car that long, it had only been a day. Doesn't that mean that somebody was following him who also had an air tag? To his iPhone, recognizing that my air tags have been following him all day. So essentially it would be like your stalker coming in putting an air tag secretly under your car. If that air tag isn't linked to your phone and you're constantly with that air tag, it would be like, hey, there's an unidentified air tag following you. That's like with you all the time. It's with you. Yeah.

And I can, I'll put a screenshot in of what the air tag says. Yeah. Can you? It's really great. I think it's absolutely amazing. And I think it's like something that is such a great feature that Apple installed because those air tags could be used. very deceptively and very like, absolutely. Same with the AirPods.

I've seen TikToks. Be like if you don't trust him, put your, put your AirPods. Now we're like giving out toxic advice. Like you put the AirPods like in their car. Yeah. It's wild man. Apple is doing a seminar tomorrow,

September 14th by the time this episode airs, it will have happened. So maybe Apple's working on these kinks. I don't know. I don't know. A future of technology though. There's some detriments. But get some air tags.

your shit. Like, I almost want to just keep one in my pocket at all times. I'm so fucking I'm really intrigued. If I get that guard dog, I'm probably going to put an air tag on him. Every person put it on your dog. It's the greatest thing you can do to keep yourself safe, your animal safe, your property safe. Totally. Yeah. I'm not absolutely going to do it. Big plugger here. That's so smart. This is coming from our very own Tuat takes subreddit one day old titled, My Husband made a secret TikTok account to post videos of me sleeping. This is dot, dot, dot, really embarrassing to even type. I, 32 female, found out that my husband, 34 male,

has been secretly filming me sleeping and posting it to TikTok under some weird account name. It started because my coworker showed me a funny TikTok of a woman snoring and said it looked just like me. My stomach dropped. Oh, my God. It was me. Wow. In my own bed. I confronted my husband and,

and he admitted it's his account. He said he started it as a joke because, quote, you're so cute when you sleep and people love it. I checked, and the account has over 50,000 followers. Oh my God. There are dozens of videos of me, snoring, tossing, drooling, even one where my shirt has ridden up

and you can see a part of my bra. He claims it's harmless and that, quote, People post their spouses all the time. I feel violated. Yeah. How do I even begin to process this? In court.

Literally. Yeah. I'm curious, too, if she adds anything else about characteristics of this guy, because you don't make a whole account without someone knowing. even if they're awake. Asleep. That's so scary. I know.

It's like, it's so scary. Him doing it one time and posting it without her consent and then showing her the next morning and being like, ha ha, I had no idea that this would, like, anyone would see it, just thought it was funny. That even is a huge red flag. But like, at least he's telling her and at least it's like kind of like, oh. oh, I just thought this was funny and what I. And then she can be like, don't put that there, X, Y, Z. But no, it is, it's completely violating. It's, it's a hundred percent of violation.

Like, you don't. People need to consent to being recorded in the comfort of their own bed while they're sleeping. Yeah. And having it posted. Regardless of it's your wife or not. Even if you think it's cute. Like, it's up to that other person. And even if he did this without sharing it.

It's creepy. It's not okay. It's really weird. Like, and like, you know what I mean? Like, even if he just had it, like, on his, I feel like we've had a story about this before. Well, it's like, I think it's one thing to, like, Justin, sleep talks. And I think it's the cutest thing in the world, especially if, like, he's really out of it. I can, like, kind of get him going and have conversations with him. So, like, you show him. So I'll record it. And then I do show him. I tell him about it. But I also wouldn't share it anywhere. But like, but my point is, is that like... And his face isn't in it. Like, he's just, it's dark and he's just talking. Yeah, but like my point is that like even if like you, but you show him, right? Like you tell him about it. Like you're like...

So it's like if you were to have like a whole album of like Justin's sleeping and never mention it to him, you would be such a creep. Like, you know what I mean? No, that's weird. Yeah. That's so weird. Yeah. We, okay, actually now I remember we did have a story like that a long, long time ago.

But it was actually like the one exception where she was like, okay, this is really, really messed up. But she was like, I was doing a, and I think she had like came with proof. She was doing a project for school where it was like monitoring like the sounds of snoring each night, like based off of like REM sleep. Oh my God, it was a guy writing in that he had discovered his girlfriend was recording him sleeping and it was like a college project. Yeah, exactly. And she and I think she said that the reason she didn't want to tell him was like she didn't want him to. I don't remember why actually. Maybe that one was weird too. I think it was weird too. Okay. I'm trying to find it on my THT Master Stories doc that I have. Yeah, but like I'm like even even that's creepy and that's like for an actual reason for a school project. So yeah, there's really no getting around this one. It's pretty bad, pretty concerning. Definitely breakup worthy. Do they say husband though? Husband.

Oh, that's tough. Husband. And the way she found out, too, to find out from your co-worker. Yeah. Being like, oh, this looks like you. And you're like, that is me. Yeah. In my bed.

I'm like, I just, oh, I hate to, like, jump too quick to saying, like, separate when they're married. But this is definitely, it's very concerning. It is violating. Yeah. If I'm playing devil's advocate, I could say maybe. he just didn't realize the severity and just thought he was being goofy. But like even so, then he's a huge idiot and that's a huge red flag. So it's just it's not a lot of good options.

So red flag how dumb you are. Yeah. And I was going to say like there are accounts that I've even seen where they post videos of themselves like doing weird stuff in their sleep. Like I think there's a huge TikToker who posts her sleepwalking videos. And they're really entertaining. Right. But she's the one posting them.

Yeah, I mean, consent is all the difference of everything. I know. Yeah. So we don't have any comments from OPE, no update, but let's get into the top comment on this one. Yeah, you're going to want to go through his phone, laptop, and any online file storage. This is weirdo behavior. Next comment. If he's doing this with her sleeping, you have to wonder if he has some private accounts of other things.

It just makes me worried that with this story. There's more. What if there's more? Like, what if something else is happening? Like, because this is a violation. Yeah. So what else is he doing? Yeah.

And again, it's reminding me of like a real life thing where there was a woman in France recently that took her husband to court because he was drugging her and letting other men come to their house. That is terrifying. It was so, so bad. And, like, that's kind of what everyone in the comments is getting into. Like, when someone goes, wait. you sleep in your bra. Aside from it, though, it's a huge trust violation coming from your supposedly closest person. It would be a deal breaker for me. And then next comment, right? The bra thing

aside, L.O.L. Who cares? The bigger issue is the total lack of respect. It's not just a funny video when someone you trust secretly records and post intimate moments while you're unconscious and for strangers to watch. That's not cute. It's creepy. Definitely feels like a deal breaker to me too. Yeah. And then next comment down, yep, after following the Dominique Pelicoat case, I would be very concerned. Look it up if you don't know. I don't know if I won't do. I'm sure. Also, I'm sorry if I butchered her last name, Pelico, Pelicot.

So bad. You can discuss that with your other co-hosts on your other podcast. It is kind of a clues type case. That's crazy. Wow, wow, wow. Like that is such a fucking choice to make a really fucking. bad one, a commitment to do. I'm just like, what's what's wrong with people? Tons of awards. This guy's a verified user. It's from a real username, not a throwaway.

And it's titled, My Experience as a Crime Scene Cleaner. To start out, you need a little backstory to show how I got into this situation. When I got out of high school around 2003, finding a job was difficult, so I took whatever horrible jobs I could get to get by. When I found a job cleaning fire and water damage full time, I was excited to have steady income and start saving, but this quickly turned into a nightmare that I had to endure for almost two years. The company I worked for put me on my first job, which was a water damage claim, where the basement flooded with sewage. So after a few days of work, we finished, and it was on to the next job. My boss then called me into his office the next morning and told me about a special crew that he was setting up and asked if I would be the crew leader, supervising three other guys that were just hired. I found this strange, as I had only been working there a total of around three days, but figured my work ethic was already paying off and I would get a raise. I only made $10 an hour to start. Not only did I not get the raise, but I got no training in the new position other than a work van.

with cleaning material and the phone numbers for the three new guys that were also hired in to do water slash fire damage cleanup. The boss told me what tools were best to use and what cleaning products to use to sanitize along with where everything was located in the van with hazmat suits and respirators, but he was vague about what kind of things I would clean up. He just said the situations were always different, and I would get detailed instructions with each job. He called my position CSC crew leader. The boss told me that I would never have to see the deceased, as the coroner would have the remains gone by the time my crew got there, and to use my logic to determine what needed to be removed

from the homes and what could be cleaned. The first job I had in my new position, which the boss told me about when I got to the office, was cleaning up the remains of an elderly man or woman who died in their house and had been laying in a chair. When we arrived, the coroner had me come inside to show me a few things that were considered hazardous material and needed to be removed due to the risk of disease. I guess my boss knew a few people from the county coroner's office, and much of the work came from their recommendations. Which doesn't seem like water and fire damage. No, this is definitely not water and fire damage.

anymore. Not only was the deceased still in the house, but was fully visible to me and the other guy, and you could smell the rot through the mass in the house, as the house had no AC, and this was mid-June. The coroner was backed up and waiting on additional people to show up to load the body as it was falling apart. And I call the body it, because I honestly couldn't tell if it was male or female and was trying not to look too long as it was disturbing. The other three guys I worked with handled it well, but two of them got sick from the smell and had to go outside to puke. We all waited outside after the coroner showed us the chair, the fluids that leaked into

the carpet and the basement where the fluids went through the subfloor and puddled on some boxes in the basement. Fluids? Yeah. All the body juices. The coroner's support arrived and took the deceased out and me and the crew started working. After about five minutes, weird things started to happen, the first of which was when I began to disassemble the chair. I had removed the back of the chair and was putting it into a special hazmat bag that I was given,

and the base started to rock when I was about 10 feet away putting the bag with the back of the chair by the front door. Nobody else was in the same room as the other guys were in the basement dealing with moving boxes. I brushed it off and took apart the base of the chair as much as I could, and when I got it into the bag, I got a chill up my back and then began feeling sick. I just figured it was the shock of what I was cleaning hitting me, and I pushed on, even though the chill was strange as I was very hot in full hazmat in June. Next was removing the carpet and assessing the floor to see if it would be able to be cleaned or if I had to remove a section of the floor.

So I called the boss to ask him, and he told me, just pour the special cleaner on the area to soak into the floorboards and it would be fine. So I got it out of the truck where he said it was and brought it inside. When I got inside, all three of the guys in the basement were scrambling to get out of the basement, tripping over each other and all three ran outside. When I asked them what was up, all three said there was someone in the cluttered basement and they assumed it was a homeless person or junkie.

Detroit has many issues with these kinds of things. I listened at one of the open windows to the basement. It's kind of the first thing we did when we started working. Open any windows possible, prop the doors open, so maybe someone got inside then or possibly before we got there and was hiding. After listing a few minutes and hearing nothing, me and another one of the workers went inside, armed with a maglight, and a piece of metal fence post, and searched the basement. Nothing was down there, but the footprints of the shoe covers we used. But when we started up the stairs,

we heard a horrible hacking cough from somewhere in the basement. When we looked for it, there was nothing. But the corner of the basement had a bunch of dust stirred up like someone was moving things very recently that weirded us both out. We called the guys back in and they got back to the boxes, but all of them kept feeling like they were being touched while throwing away material from the boxes that got fluids on them. I went back to my upstairs job, but found that the cleaner I put next to the floorboards was gone. And I started getting frustrated as it was the only jug I had of this cleaner, and I clearly remember it being sat next to the area. Before the guys ran up the stairs, and my attention was redirected.

I began to take out trash, figuring I would find it eventually, or the basement guys took it for the floor, and I found it on its side, behind the bag that had the back of the chair. This is impossible. There were like six other bags in front of this one near the front door, and this was a gallon bottle of cleaner. Again, I got a chill,

but this one was brought on by what sounded like a whisper that I could not make out the word, to. I cleaned the floor and moved out trash, job complete. That night, each member of my crew had a dream about an older man telling us that we are not welcome in his home, touching his belongings, and we need to leave. In my dream, I was alone in his house. The old man cried and told me I was destroying his things, and he couldn't replace anything. He was trying to push me out of his house, but it was like I was ignoring him, even when he would push me and scream at me, no reaction from me. He then threw my cleaner into the garbage pile I had made by the front door, exactly where I had found it. Two of the

three guys in the crew told me their dreams about the old man pushing them as they went through boxes of ruined pictures and other old stuff that needed to be thrown out due to the risk of disease from his fluids. They also said it was like they had no control and were on autopilot. They said they were so sad but couldn't do anything. The thing that got me about the dream of the other two guys was they both said the man was getting so upset that he began violently coughing and that the man kept grabbing their arms when they would touch boxes or throw things in the trash. Neither of the guys were in the house when me and the other guy heard the coughing from the basement. The guy that went in the basement with me said he had a dream, but all he remembered was waking up sad like he did something wrong and had a horrible coughing fit, which might just be a coincidence. but I connected it in my mind as relating to the other dreams. We all talked about it and came to the

conclusion that we were all just having a reaction to the situation and it was nothing more than our brains coping with what we had to do. I'm very into psychology so I rationalized it best I could and we hoped for better assignments the next day. Next few jobs were not so bad, cleaning up blood at a home invasion, no casualty but huge mess. Then there were a few other bloody crime scenes with casualty but nothing notable happened. About two weeks into the job, we began to learn the tricks of the trade and were split into two different groups

that I was responsible to manage as crew leader, so I would have to go to different sites if the other two guys had an issue or didn't know what to do. I thought I was getting used to the job as well as the other guys as we had no other experiences like the first job, but I was wrong.

The next job that there was activity was a suicide of a man that was middle-aged. The coroner had all. already removed the body, but it was a mess. The guy had shot himself with what I think was a large caliber handgun or shotgun, as the spray was everywhere in the basement in like a second living room. There were skull fragments lodged in drywall, brain matter all over, and again, he was not found for a bit, so the smell was horrible. First step in cleaning this was using our backpack vacuum cleaner to suck up all the bio material. The corner told us when we went in that

he and his partner were extremely uneasy in the house and it felt strange and we immediately started getting a claustrophobic suffocating feeling when we went into the basement as well. To make matters worse, the family of the man had come over and were crying upstairs, but the vacuum noise helped to cancel that out. While I was cleaning, the power to the lights went out and it was completely pitch black. This was strange because my vacuum was still powered. This is a is what happened in my fucking house. This is literally what happened to my house. Oh my god. I just fucking brought this energy upon myself. Why did I do this? This was strange because my vacuum was still powered. My crewmate started screaming at this point,

so I turned off my vacuum and climbed off my ladder. I thought maybe he touched a wire to the lights, but when my vacuum unit was turned off, he was still screaming and I could hear things being knocked over. I started fumbling around from my flashlight on my tool belt and yelled for my friend asking what was going on, but all I got back was panicked screaming. Then I saw in the pitch black something darker that was moving in my direction, and I will admit, I freaked out. I slipped trying to back up, still looking in my belt for a flashlight, and found it when my back hit the basement wall. I turned on the light, aimed at the blackest shape I've ever seen, and when the light turned on, I saw the shape of a man, wearing a flannel shirt, beard, and an expression like he was about

to attack me. Then it was just gone. My crewmate was behind where the entity was, sitting on the floor rocking with his hands on his head when I approached. He picked up his flashlight off the ground and turned it on, then ran up the stairs and outside and threw up. I followed behind him, asking if he was okay and why he was screaming. I thought I just imagined the entity and the man because his screaming scared me, but he told me that he was scrubbing the wall and felt something pulling on something in his tool belt, and he thought it was me. But when he turned around, the lights went out, and he was engulfed by what he said was like dark smoke, and he immediately could not breathe and was struggling to move. He managed to pull his flashlight out, but it was

knocked out of his hand, like his wrist was grabbed with force, and he managed to scream. When he screamed, trinkets started falling off of the entertainment center that was about three feet to his side, and the black smoke moved back, but he was close to passing out from exertion. He also said he lost hearing and didn't know that any noise came out when he started screaming, and that all the stuff falling off the shelves was landing on him, and that's why he was covering his head. He said it felt like a weight was lifted off him when the dark smoke backed up, but he felt sick right away, and the light from my flashlight made the sick feeling increase. an early lunch where he just sat there, pale as ever, and didn't say much other than he

said he breathed in that smoke and didn't feel right. I got him some Gatorade and his color started to come back. I never told him I saw a man when I turned on my light because we still needed to finish. And I didn't want to put that in his head since he never mentioned seeing it. When we went back, the lights in the basement were on again. Half the things that fell from the shelves were back on the entertainment center and the TV was on baseball. There was all also a different smell in the room, similar to burnt hair. My workers stayed a half hour, got sick again, and went home for the day, leaving me alone to finish, which I didn't want to do, but had to as the other guys had their own job.

Oh, no. Yeah. After cleaning up everything with my vacuum, I began scrubbing the old blood, which is hard after it congeals, mix in brain matter, and it is like glue, even with cleaner. While I was finishing up, I kept seeing the shape of a person, always in the side of my vision. Each time I would smell that strange burnt hair scent, and a few times I also felt like a force was pulling out items on my belt. Not sure what item, as there were several things in my belt. When I finished the job, I went to use the bathroom upstairs, and in the hallway along the way, I heard like muffled crying or moaning.

I froze up and stayed still, thinking maybe a family member had come back, and when I panned around, there was nothing. But I saw a picture on the wall of a man with a beard, wearing a flannel shirt, several other pictures in the hallway of other scenarios of the same man, different flannels with deer or fish or family. I had not seen a picture of that man as I had not been anywhere else in the house with a bathroom, nor did I use the bathroom downstairs, because pulling off the hazmat suit stuff is a pain. As I was securing the house, closing the windows, locking doors and shutting down every light but the front porch light, I saw the front curtain move and again saw the darker than black

form in the front window. The last, oh, I got the chills, fuck. Like, how do you envision a man with a beard in a flannel without seeing pictures of him? Like, that's like, he fucking saw him with his own teeth. eyes. He didn't see those pictures before. It was crazy. The last experience I will share in this thread happened mid-July in a very bad area in Detroit. There had been an incident where a guy supposedly tried to abduct a child was stopped by people in the neighborhood who beat the man very badly, and he escaped to his house where the neighborhood people quickly called police and civilians

surrounded the man's house to prevent escape. The police response time in this area is horrible, and the people were throwing rocks through the man's window and damaged his car. The man was hurt bad by the mob and was hurt by a rock or glass and died in the home. Wow. This is assumption by Detroit Police Department. From what the police officer told me, it was a misunderstanding, and the man picked up a girl that was injured riding her bike, and some kids that knew her told her parents that the man was kidnapping her,

and people overreacted and the man was brutally beaten. Wow. The cleanup was pretty simple to do. We secured windows, cleaned up blood and bodily fluids. But as soon as I entered the house, I just felt wave after wave of fear and sadness. Like I have never felt this before. And it hit in waves that made my legs weak. My working buddy who was there showed up late and didn't get the story from the cop like I did,

but experienced the same feelings I had. The whole time we were there, we saw a form darting around corners. like it was watching us, then hiding. It was similar to like a small bit of fog or mist. We also heard very slight cries for help coming from several areas in the house, and also what sounded like, please stop, and along, no. A few times the crowd came back and yelled at the house also, and when this was going on, the activity in the house increased,

and we could hear running footsteps go up the stairs, a door slam, and it sounded like the front door would open and close, but we never saw any of the doors move. The path of the footsteps sounded like from the front door through the living room to the bathroom, to stairs, to the upstairs bungalow room. The part that really got me was I could feel the floor impacts that felt like the vibrations of someone running past me

when I was cleaning the areas, and each time I would be hit by one of those waves of fear and sadness. Wow, I have such bad chills right now. When we left the house, there were a few people on porches hanging out, like as usual during summer, and the people were still hostile and yelling random things, but directed at us as we loaded the van and took off hazmat suits. We ignored this, but before we had loaded all the material from the house into the vacuum and locked the house, the front door slammed hard enough to sound like a gunshot, which scared me and my crew member. along with the people on the front porch to the point where they went inside.

The front door deadbolt was somehow locked and we could not get it open. I think it was a different key than the knob, so we ended up leaving several boards in the house that were left over from boarding a few of the windows. The feeling of relief when I left the house was like night and day. Inside I was anxious, scared, paranoid, and just really down, which could be due to knowing the story. but when I got outside, it was like flipping a light switch.

I immediately felt better and me and the other guy in my crew were joking and laughing about dumb stuff and normal 19 and 20-year-old shenanigans. I have many of these stories written down in detail in a journal I started after the first three months of working at this job. I talked to the guys on the cruise and got other strange stories from them too. I know that some of this could very well be formed by my subconscious mind to cope with traumatic situations, but some of it has no explanation. And when I hear other members of my crew tell me their stories when they haven't been influenced by mine, that is a horse of a different color.

When I have time, I will pull out the journal and give more of my experiences. The job got way worse when I started the journal after three months in. Several experiences with what I thought was paranormal. Many situations that stress my mental state to the point where my mask of sanity started to slip. In the end, I worked at this place for almost two years, and of my crew, all died. Two from suicides, one from drug overdose, that could have been intentional, but we will never know. I just know that when three guys, my age, around 19 and 20, started this job, all were normal, well-adjusted guys with no cares in the world other than girls, parties, and working. I watched each one of them slowly drain their joys and passion for life, and I know this sounds

bad, but each one that died was considerate enough to die in a clean way. Most likely so another person wouldn't have to see the horrible thing that we all saw so often. Wow. So, so sad. Yeah. Oh my God. I feel like a lot of that is like truly unexplainable, especially the flannel shirt and like that cloud. Yeah. What are your thoughts, skeptic? Hey. I am surprised that this guy stayed in the job this long. Because if I experienced anything close to that, I would not, no matter what it was. I cannot imagine.

But where there's a will, there's a way. So I just, I couldn't have kept doing it. I don't know. Regardless, if I had to, I just. don't know. I just, I don't know how to relate. I, obviously, if I experienced any of that shit, I would freak the fuck out. Who wouldn't? Yeah. Like, I don't know how this guy kept his cool and kept going. Like, he just kind of talks about it. Like, oh, yeah, I experienced this and it freaked me out. And then on the next one, it's like, for me, no next one. But, like, if I had to, if I was

forced to, I don't know. I would probably go freaking nuts. I would go insane. Well, that's what he said to is like I what did he say my sanity slipped like many situations that stressed my mental state to the point where my mask of sanity started to slip right because it's just yeah like you can chalk it up like oh it's my brain playing tricks on me and there's a lot of situations where you know you see shadows and it's it's the way the lights moving outside a window through reflection you know whatever when your brain can create I mean your brain is unbelievably powerful yes I also think our brain, like, in his mind, he's like trying to rationalize this as a way for his brain to protect himself. Yeah.

From what is truly paranormal experience is happening. That's like a safety mechanism for him. Yeah, I mean, it's like a horror movie. It's literally the script for a horror movie. It is crazy. I don't know how he handled it so long. And it's sad. It's sad to think that someone's spirit can be...

just so, I don't want to say aggravated, but just like in so much turmoil that it latches on to a place like that. And like the old man that died in his chair and was just like so upset that people were like moving his stuff and his things and that's all he had and he can't replace it. Like that was 100% his energy clinging to them and like trying to send them a message in those dreams. Right. And the fact that the cleaning product moved over by all those garbage bags that no one moved it. And it sounded like it was like buried beneath bags that it like wasn't, it wouldn't have been possible to just like roll over there or something. That's wild.

Oh, so sad. Because did you tell your home spring story? I did. Because have you ever actually physically seen something? or was that the closest where it's just like I heard and like... No, I saw the lights flickering. Like underneath the door. I know, but have you seen the shadow?

Have you seen the, like, right in front of you? No, not like this. Not like, I've never seen like a mist or like a cloud of smoke or anything like that. See, like that shit, that would freak me the fuck out. I don't know. I'd start questioning everything and like everything. But I just... just have never experienced anything close to that.

Yeah. And I haven't seen the flickering lights or anything. Like I just, there was one time when I was a kid, this is the closest I can get, where my parents would always take the dog for a walk and I would stay home and just kind of chill. And I remember being in the living room and just watching TV or doing something. and all of a sudden I heard these stomping steps. Like, it sounded like they were coming up from my basement, just pounding really hard, heavy steps. Oh, gosh.

And I was about, like, I was in the process of standing up, and I was calculating in my head what I do. And I was thinking, side door, front door. Like, I was thinking it was just, I don't know, autopilot. You were, like, trying to hide thinking it was someone breaking in? I thought someone was in the house, and they were stomping, up the basement stairs to come up. And I was on that next level.

Okay. And so I was ready to bolt out the front door and all of a sudden the door from the garage opens and it was my parents coming in from the garage into the house because we had like steps in the garage up inside. Okay. And like that, I just remember that feeling. And that feeling of that crazy amount of fear

is what I'd have in this situation. But I guess like the last house I was, in with that whole situation is, you know, where I'd expect maybe I would have experienced something like that. But if we had never been told that, we would have actually have, we would have had no clue. You would never have known. Yeah. Unless if he hadn't told us and we didn't find the articles, it just like. No. And I think when we found out even, I tried to think, I was like, oh, has like anything weird happened.

And there wasn't anything. Yeah. Like I'm just trying. I'm trying to find some way to connect and relate, but I just haven't had that. But if I... You better knock on wood. All I know, though, is if I did experience it, like this whole story, I just... They need believe.

Yeah, I mean, I'd lose it. My mind would try and rationalize it, of course, in the same way. but oh my god my god my 22 female fiance 25 male wants his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before i get married what's a hymen so a hymen is a piece within the vagina around it's typically the it's the opening it's at the opening of the vagina and it's in many people's outdated concepts they believe that you still have a hymen if you're a virgin and if you're pure. However, knowing what we know now, some women are not even born with hymins, some people have partial hymins, and we use tampons and other things.

So your hymen can be broken from that as well. Okay, so this has popped a cherry. Yes. Yes. Scientifically, got it. There you go. My fiancé proposed to me about eight months ago. We decide out on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days. Everything was going great.

He seems absolutely perfect, and we are very much in love. I'm a virgin, and so is he. He wanted to save it for marriage, and I wasn't fussed, so I agreed to saving it. He has told me earlier that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounded like a massive joke. Nope. Turns out he was dead serious. He wants me the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing

so his dad can check me while him, his brothers, and uncle can watch so that they know I am still pure. What? There's no females involved either. It's just all the males. Yeah. No. Yeah.

I told him fat chance I'm going to do that. and he was begging me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me, but his mom did it, and it will prove how much I love him, and that I have nothing to hide anyways, as I am still a virgin. I left, and he was crying. It was very dramatic, to be honest. I want to call off the whole wedding because of this, and never talk to him again. But at the same time, it's only one thing, and other than that, we are genuinely perfect for

each other and I don't want to spend my life with anyone else and it is very important to him and his family. What the fuck do I do? I'm currently at my friend's house and I might stay here for the night. Tomorrow will be our last day as an unmarried couple and I'm straight up panicking. This is like the night before the wedding basically. This is like what we were saying before where it's the one little like this isn't the little thing but the one thing and then everything is perfect. I think it's degrading and I think it's just completely goes in the face of saying, oh, I trust you. Yeah.

That's a complete, just no trust. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. It speaks volumes. It's like, hey, show your vagina in the most like, prove it. Especially because she is a virgin. Like, hey, show your most sacred parts to multiple different men to prove your love for me.

Very violating. I would be like, I'd be like, here, like let me fold back your penis skin for the rest of my female family. Oh, that might be a good suggestion. Honestly. I think the problematic thing though is not, it's like all of this. This is all so problematic.

But the fact that he goes, it will prove how much you love me. Like that emotional manipulation, that's a red flag. If he's doing that now, it's only going to get worse. It's like the most extreme version of being like, hand me your phone.

Let me look through it. Yeah, except this is her vagina. That's what I'm saying. It's like the most extreme version. You're basically going in with the same violation of trust and saying, I don't trust you. Prove it. If not. Yeah, more so.

I also like, it isn't just to like, hey, spread your legs. Let me look. Like, this is not like an easy like, oh, let me just peek. Okay. Yep, you're good. Like this is an invasive procedure. Can you imagine? Especially with the entire rest of the family.

Yeah. All the men. No, all the men. It's like those weird family rituals you've seen horror films. Yeah. That's exactly when you said midsummer or whatever it's called. I haven't even seen that show, but like I've seen enough. I saw the preview and it's all I need to know.

Don't watch it. And that's, you're dead on. Like it's fucking creepy and it's not okay. And to like manipulate someone, emotionally manipulate someone to make them feel like that's, you're like proving your love is just so. far beyond me that like you said, Justin, you can be perfect in every other way, but like that one thing when it's that big. Yeah. And she kind of says, well, it is just one thing and then we're perfectly fine. That one thing is going to be a thing forever. That's not just one thing.

And who knows what other weird traditions they have. But I would just, I'd honestly just kind of be so shocked it wasn't a joke. Yeah. And just be like, no, I'm out. Like she's saying, call off the wedding, I agree. Same. Yeah. Top comment. Anytime a person tells you, blank, will prove how much you love me,

they are manipulating you. True. You shouldn't have to prove you love someone if you're planning to marry them. Don't let him play mind games like that. True. And then someone quotes a bunch of what she said. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me,

but his mom did it and it will prove how much I love him. He told, in all sincerity, that showing your genitals to his father's, uncles and brother in the same is the same as you showing your love for him who gives a fuck what his mom did to get married X years ago he can go marry his mom if you want someone who is comfortable with this strange tradition yeah or he can offer to show you his taint to all what's your asshole slash like gooch area oh different people use different yeah different things.

To all your mom, aunt, sister, etc. It's only slightly... Gouge isn't even as bad though. No. No. Asshole might be a little uncomfortable. Like the inside of a vagina is

so fucking vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. No. In all, honestly, this sounds borderline cultish. Yes. Yeah.

There is an update. Let me just click, click, click to it. Please, please have called off the wedding. Please don't say she went through with it. I'm getting my drink ready. I don't have anymore. Go get some more.

Okay. Right now? Yeah. Five minutes later. Okay, so update. First of all, thank you so much for the replies. I didn't think this would get so big. I've pretty much read them all.

Special shout out goes to the person who says this was a fake solely on the fact that I write like a man. I went and talked to him this morning. I told him that his father is not going to look at me And he needs to respect that He was adamant that it needs to happen And accused me about lying about my virginity I was trying to be calm and rational But he was not having it

And just became more and more angry I told him if he really loved me He would stand by me on this And tell his father no To which he slapped me And said he didn't need to prove anything Yeah it's revealing more shit Wow

It's revealing all All. Mm-hmm. Like what kind of relationship do you think you're going to have? How old is this man? 25. Yeah. Well, his brain still isn't fully developed even at 25.

So I ended it and left him. Good. I'm currently back at my friend's house being miserable and eating pizza, which is pretty fun. So, yep, thanks everyone. Dude. There's so many better things for her. Good for her.

She's going to look back at this and be thanking the fucking Reddit gods. Yeah. Yeah. I think she knew, though, too. A part of me feels... She would have figured it out on her own, for sure. You go to Reddit kind of when you think, like... When you know.

You kind of know. You kind of know what you need to do, but you just want to hear it from other people. I agree. Yeah, but this, I mean, the emotional manipulation was red flag number one. And then him being so adamant and like, oh, my mom did it, blah, blah, blah. Like, and then rolls reverse when she's like, well, if you want to prove your love to me, you'll stand by me on this. Yeah. Slaps her.

he got physical really fast Sherry on the cake Yep And that's what I thought I thought this whole thing was It's deeper It's showing the true character Of probably what the rest of the relationship will be

Oh absolutely Just the fact of having the check I don't really care I mean I respect cultural And I respect Family traditions But I do not

care for them when you think it's okay to project them onto other people and then be horrible to other people if they don't agree. Yeah. Because if you respect your family traditions so much, you should understand that other people also have different family traditions. And so it's just like can't you sympathize? Yeah, I think there's a... Sorry, go on. No, I think there's a difference between having family traditions and just simply being fucked up. To put it bluntly. Like, that's not normal. I feel like in history class, we learned of some weird traditions that certain cultures had that totally are very wrong and weird and just not right.

So they're not a thing today. But this is just like, I don't have any respect for this type of shit. This is some weird ass. Do you guys want to know one thing that I saw recently that I've never heard from anyone else? And I don't know how I got down this rabbit hole. Yeah, let's hear it. But so basically it's a tradition in certain parts in Europe and certain parts in, I think, Africa. And I could be wrong, so don't come at me if I'm wrong.

But I know that Europe was one of them. And I think the other one was Africa. Okay. But basically once girls are born and young and old enough to, like, understand what's going on, they will force them to stretch out their inner labia. because they say that it gives men something to play with. Otherwise, they will get bored. There's a lot of female mutilation that happens around the world.

There's a lot of women that in parts of the world actually get their clits cut off. There's a lot of female mutilation, and there's a big movement to end it, and rightfully so. Yeah, fuck tradition at that point. It's just like, it's weird. Like it's be a human, be like humane. But anyway, to like wrap that up though, I think the thing is is about like tradition, culture, all those things are so great and I respect them. And I understand that there's so many different, you know, like the placenta. Like I think that that's cool.

Like, you know, if that's what you believe in and that's what makes you happy, like find a way to make that work in your life. When you are projecting it onto other people and compromising their safety, their. Health, happiness, mental health. Yes. It is not okay. You cannot use tradition as an excuse. It's not okay. And as an expense to others.

Yes. Definitely. Okay. Solid points were made. I'm glad she did not stay. Yes. I can sleep tonight. This next one is coming from True Off My Chest.

It is titled, I'm worried my husband's sister might have been trying to harm or even kill me. Oh my gosh. Three days ago, my husband and I went to his parents' house to visit for the weekend. His sister is a college student and was home for the summer as well, so we got to see her too. Since they have a lakefront property and the weather was very nice, a lot of the time was spent at the lake this weekend. And some very, dot, dot, dot, weird things happened. For some background first, I've always kind of gotten an off vibe from my husband's younger sister.

When we were dating, it seemed like she would find any excuse in the world to avoid me. and when we did interact, I sensed some hostile undertones pretty much every single time. I brushed it off as just me maybe not clicking with her or misunderstanding her. Still, when we got married last year, I included her as one of my bridesmaids. And low-key, she was a huge pain in the ass for the entire experience. My other bridesmaids told me she made snide comments to them that made them quite uncomfortable. was huffy during the bridal shower and wedding rehearsal, made faces at the decorations, and pulled weird faces when she ate the cake too. I still brushed it off as maybe it's just her

personality and left it at that. At the lake, though, a number of events occurred that kind of unsettled me. On the day we arrived, my husband's sister had invited a number of her own friends from college over, and the group of us spent some time together in the water. At one point, we all decided to have a big chicken fight, and at first it was quite, quite fun and lighthearted. Then a bunch of people, including my husband, broke away to do their own thing, and his sister turned to me and said, let's do another round, with her other two friends left in the leg, and asked to get on my shoulders. I said, sure, knelt down under the water to let her up, but instead of getting on my shoulders properly, she got on top of my head and wouldn't budge

at all when I tried to move her. I couldn't get her off me or even get my head up. I couldn't get her off me, or even get my head up to breathe for what felt like a very long time. Holy shit. No, that's, you're not making stuff up. You are absolutely correct in your theories. That's insane. All while my head was being squeezed between her thighs and I was seriously panicking by the time I managed to dislodge her

and bring my head up to the surface. What's weird about it was that the other two weren't even paying attention to any of this or even participating in the attempted chicken fight at all. My husband's sister didn't say anything to me when I came up to the surface. Just kind of gave me this weird snort chuckle and got out of the water. I was noticeably shaken and trying to catch my breath. But I assumed maybe this was just some sort of accident.

So I tried to act fine and didn't say anything. My husband's parents also have a se ado that they let those of us with a boating license use. It's a jet ski. Okay. If you've never heard of seed do. I don't have a boating license, so it was mostly just me riding behind my husband with him at the wheel. My husband's sister offered me a ride, though, and I didn't want to say no, thinking maybe this was a chance to bond with her. So I agreed to it.

I told her the C-Doo still made me quite nervous, though, and to take it slow if she could. Oh, no. She definitely did not take it slow and easy. That stuff's so dangerous. I can't believe she did that after... The water thing? Not to victim shame at all, but I'm like... I couldn't. After the water thing to like, nope, I'm already afraid of jet skis.

I so get it though because you convince yourself in the moment. Like, I was making it up. That wasn't true. Yeah. I'm imagining it. Exactly. I understand. But I... It's crazy. Yeah. She took any and every opportunity she could get to jump the Cidu off the wakes of the boats that passed us by. Was doing sharp turns at high speeds like crazy. And I found myself having to cling to her for dear life throughout the ride. There were points where we both nearly fell off the jet ski with how wildly she was driving it. Again, though, I didn't say anything about it and acted fine because I thought maybe she didn't realize how fast and crazy she was going. Later, my husband's dad yelled at her for attempting to splash my husband with the se ado while he was in the water. Their dad told her it was dangerous to try and ride that close to people in the water like that because she could have ran him over.

After about an hour or so, it was just me in the water with my husband's sand. sister on the sea do, and she drove that thing within a couple of feet of me just to turn it and splash me with the water. Way closer than she ever got to my husband. I laughed it off, but again, was inwardly freaked out. That brings us to yesterday at dinner, as everyone in the family had been made acutely aware of by my husband, I have a serious dairy allergy, to the point where ingesting even a little bit of it can risk causing anaphylaxis. My husband's sister contributed a big pot of tomato rice and told me there was no dairy in it so I could have some. I trusted her and helped myself to a portion of it.

But shortly after eating it, I had to excuse myself because I started to feel extremely ill and wound up spending the rest of the night puking my brains out. I felt super faint and it took a lot of effort to breathe. Thankfully, I had my EpiPen if things got bad enough, but still the whole experience was just awful. The explanation I got later was that my husband's sister finished the tomato rice with butter to make it creamier and then forgot that she put it in there before serving it to me. Oh my God. Seems again like it could be an innocent mistake. No.

But given the combination of everything that happened this weekend, I'm starting to feel suspicious that it's more than just that at this point. I don't know if I'm overreacting or just being a paranoid mess because this is a huge accusation. but I can't help but feel that niggling suspicion that maybe my husband's sister genuinely meant to harm me. Yeah. I feel like I'm fucking crazy. No, you're not.

This person is a psychopath. She's genuinely trying to kill her. Literally. And everything she's doing, she can say it was an accident. It's that plausible deniability, which gives, it gives attempted murder. Like this genuinely,

genuinely feels criminally terrifying. It's just bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Do we have any other context of what, like, does she think that the sister just doesn't like her? Or does she think that the sister, like, wants to bang the brother? That's what I'm wondering.

I'm like, is someone acting like this just like that jealous? And she, she thinks. like ruining her brother's relationship is going to get them closer. Like, you know what I mean? I'm like, we go from the Ask Me Anything where the two are having sex like to now this. And I don't remember the ages. Okay, no ages mentioned with this. But the sister is in college, husbands older and married, but unclear of the ages in this.

So it's like, is there a history? and now she's jealous and this is revenge? Like, where is this coming from? Because either way, it's unfucking hinged. This, like, this sister reminds me of the slugs story. Yes. Putting slugs in her, like, poisonous slugs in her smoothie. That's what this reminds me of.

Because, I don't know, it's just, it's so creepy. Like, and I'm trying to think, like, if the sister wasn't actually being that, if she didn't think of it like that, maybe she thought that it was just plain, pranks on her. You know, maybe she thought that it was, what's it called the one, uh, parent trap? Maybe she kind of thought that she was being like a parent trap type of person, the way that, um, Lindsay Lowen did in the end of the movie there. I mean, putting a lizard in someone's hair or on their backpack or whatever, like so different than trying to drown them. And that's how it started. Yeah. That was the first act. Trying to drown her holding and pinning her head underwater.

But like, what would she say to everybody else, like, if that, if she did drown? Oh, my God. We were trying to play chicken and I just couldn't get on. And I don't know. I must have just been holding her down on accident as I was trying to get on. So terrifying. The jet ski. Oh, my God.

I was just playing. I was just trying to jump the wakes. I didn't know she would fall off and drown. Well, yeah, it's, this is why jet ski is also terrify me is that when I was really young, my mom was on one and someone was whipping around really fast and whipped her off. and she broke multiple of her ribs and thank God she had a life jacket on because it knocked the wind out of her.

Like she was gasping for air. It was terrifying. They're really, the speeds that they can go is actually insane. Like insane. Yeah. And when you hit the water at that speed, it's like hitting concrete.

It's hitting a brick wall. Yeah. Justin has had a really bad jet ski accident where he was down, bobbing in the water unconscious and other passerby's had to like pull him out of the water. Oh my God. That's why no matter what when you're on a jet ski,

wear your life jacket. Always. No matter what. Always. They go so fast. Like the average jet ski, I think, can go like up to 74 miles per hour. Yeah. Why don't we wear helmets on things like that?

I was thinking about this on the lake last week, seeing everyone on jet skis and jumping wakes. Like, you wear a helmet if you ride a bike. You wear a helmet if you ride a horse, or you should. Why don't we wear helmets on jet skis? Because it is if you hit the water. Like, we need to like really start protecting our brains. But let's get into the comments on this one.

So top comment, stop being nice to her. She hates you. Next time she tries to pull some shit, turn around and ask her, quote, what the fuck is wrong with you? Your husband also needs to pull his head out of his ass and tell his sister to knock it off. Avoid her and places where she might be. If you have to be in her company, just avoid her. Walk away if she comes up to you.

Don't engage. And for fuck's sake, do not go anywhere alone with her. that reminds me I oh my gosh my uh my boyfriend's mom's dog she's like reactive yeah reactive dog and she was just like when she comes up to you just turn your back to her turn your back to her and she'll she'll not jump up on you and she'll not want to like try to be around you and so every time she'd come up to like say hi because she is not always reactive so she does want to say hi to me I would turn my back and then she'd be like oh and walk away I'm pretty justified

But that's what I'm like That's what I'm picturing It's just like What they're saying They're like when the sister comes up to you Turn your back on her She'll actually go away I'd literally turn around

I'd run She'll go away I'd run and I'd make it very clear Next comment down I almost can't understand How OP didn't say that My sister jokingly slammed My ankle with a shopping cart

And that pissed me off so bad Because it hurt That I had to walk away Before completely cussing her out In the middle of the store But not before a What the fuck sister never mind someone literally attempting to drown me yeah so opi does respond to that it wasn't having the

easiest time saying anything at all by the time that i had caught my breath my husband's sister was already out of the lake and i didn't quite know if i even had a right to be mad accidents happen i thought maybe she'd been sitting on me wondering why i wasn't lifting her up already i didn't have the same level of familiarity with her as i would with an actual sister if i'd called her out i would have made more of an issue if that makes sense. It all happens so fast. In hindsight, I recognize now that I absolutely should have said something

to somebody about it. But yeah. I honestly, I think that, and again, we don't know because we're not in her situation with the dynamics. But like I feel like I would have panicked so much. I would have taken my nails

and dug them into her skin and scratched. Like, I would be so panicked. Someone holding you underwater, like, is absolutely terrifying, even for a few seconds. I would, well, and I'm like trying to remember how she described it where her thighs were like being squeezed. Because if you think about chicken, for those that don't know the game of chicken, you essentially are in the water, you sit on another person's shoulders. There's a person across from you sitting on someone's shoulders and you almost like tug a war wrestle in the air while you like dump the other person.

Yeah, the first person he knocks, knock down loses. Yeah. You use your hands and try to like push them over. Yeah. So if she's trying to get on, she could have like deadlocked her. like chokehold her with her legs. Yeah. And I'm not, like, I don't want to say like, O, P should have done anything different. Like, that was pure assault.

That's assault. Like, attempted murder. Like, that is so, so bad. But, like, I honestly, when I'm in bad situations, like with my little, with my brother, my brothers, when we were fighting, I would bite the shit out of them. I think using your teeth is so underrated.

If you're ever getting attacked, start fucking biting. claw the fuck out of people. Like, use everything you fucking have, but bite. Like, you don't realize how strong your jaws are. Like, you have the ability to bite off your fucking fingers. No, don't say that. Okay.

That's a fun fact that I never wanted to remember. Thanks for bringing that back up. Yeah. Bight. Okay. Bite. But actually, no, they say, I think this is, you might need a fact check me. The carrot.

No, they say that, um, don't do this to me. I was trying to change the subject, but not really, because basically they say that the human bite is actually the most dangerous. And you might need to fact check me, but... Because of all the bacteria in our mouth? Not only that, but because it's like also if they, when you bite and you don't break blood, it's actually like you said, so strong that it can cause internal bleeding that is so dangerous. And so, and I learned that or came across. that the first time because somebody was saying that she was like a kindergarten teacher and a kindergarter bit her and she wasn't going to do anything about it. And then when she went to the doctor, because it wasn't bleeding, they were basically like if you didn't come in sooner, we would have like amputate your arm. So it is a very common, googlable phrase. Human bites are more dangerous than they appear. Due to the high number of bacteria in the mouth, a human bite

can lead to serious infection. They can be more dangerous than dog bites. infections occur up to 25 times more after a human bite. So yeah, bite the fuck out of people. Bite them. Bite them. People are messing with you. You're getting attacked. Bite.

Bite. Her. Her. Stop trusting her and laughing her shit off. Tell your husband about everything she has done and stay the fuck away from her psycho ass. If she does anything else, start calling her out loudly. Yes. Literally.

And someone goes, yeah, why are you laughing everything? off here. You don't have to go nuclear on her, but it wouldn't be overreacting to name the behavior and say, hey, why did you sit on my head like that? Or, hey, why'd you tell me there's no dairy in this? I get that we're raised to not make waves, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But there's a big gap between laughing it off and doing nothing versus causing boatloads of drama. Someone responds and goes, I can definitely see her playing innocent. What do you mean? I was trying to bond with you and treat you like family and you give me an attitude like that, I wasn't trying to hurt you. All I was trying to do was share some food with you and you think I was trying to hurt you? Sniffle, big brother, can you believe it?

She's being so mean to me and accusing of me all day long. I'm just trying to be so nice to her and look how she treats me. O.P. responds to that and goes, to be honest, this is exactly how I would expect her to react. In sincerely or sincerely. I'm having to talk. with my husband tonight when he gets home. Ooh, I hope there's updates. So someone goes, I hope it goes well and that you update us that you're okay and that your husband backs you up.

This is a serious situation. O.P. says, I'll update you guys after we talk. The more time I've had to reflect on this whole trip, the more certain I feel that I'm not being unreasonable and this warrants a serious discussion with him. I'm no longer in immediate danger from her, though I'd write the original post

after we had just gone home. someone does ask if she got an apology about the rice and butter and what her husband thought. Yes, I did get an apology from her about the rice. My husband was pissed at her about it and went off on her about being so careless. But he seems to think it was just a really dumb accident on her part. I'm going to tell him about the other incidents, though. Well. Wait, we don't have anything?

We do. Are we ready for the update? Yeah. You were about to really let me down and then you didn't. Okay, for the update. attempted to post this on True Off My Chest, but for some reason it keeps getting taken down. I don't know why. First off, I'd like to extend my most sincere gratitude to the Redditors who took the time out of their day to give me advice. I wasn't expecting so many people to come to my support and confirm I wasn't being crazy or overreacting.

Anyways, here's what happened since my last post. So I did end up talking to my husband about his sister's behavior towards me last weekend. I was planning on sitting him down and just point blank raising my concerns about her. but her name came up organically in conversations, so I ended up using it as a springboard for telling him about last weekend's incidents. As I went through, each sketchy incident I had with her, my husband believed me and was angry on my behalf about what happened. He also supports my wishes to keep more of a distance from her going forward. He told me to let him know if she ever pulls anything like the incidents in the water slash sedu again, the dairy thing he still believes to be a genuine accident.

Apparently she was in tears over how badly she felt about it. Fake. Or whatever. Apparently, my sister-in-law's behaviors last weekend weren't 100% out of character for her. After telling my husband about my incidents with her, he explained to me that she's had a history of crossing lines and testing the limits of people's boundaries like this, albeit never this egregiously.

until college she struggled making and keeping friends due to constantly crossing peers' boundaries. My husband even had to come to her aid in grade school due to her pissing off the wrong people who were ready to beat her ass. He should have let her. He thought she'd gotten better in recent years, which is why he was so taken aback

when I told him about this stuff she did last weekend. Apparently, she's been in therapy for a very long time now to treat some mental health and behavioral issues. My husband was, slash is pissed at her for what she did to me, but he genuinely doesn't think her intentions were to kill or maim me, just to test my limits and haze me, albeit extremely recklessly. I'm inclined to agree with him, but my guard is still up in case anything more than that happens. His theory is that because I'm quite shy, she figured I was less likely to put my foot down with her, and that's why she did stuff to fuck with me in particular.

It's not anything I did or said. Yes, I did ask. So going forward, I'm going to try to keep brief any interaction I have with her at future family events and stuff. I'll still be polite, of course. Why? But no way am I going to be alone with her anymore. And my husband says he's on board with this arrangement and will intervene if necessary to make sure it stays. It sucks to realize I'm probably never going to have a good relationship with my sister-in-law like I'd hoped.

You don't need it. I've never had siblings before, so I was excited by the idea of having someone accept me as a sister and having some sort of relationship. Ah, well, I get along well with the rest of the family and have enough kick-ass friends in my life who are like sisters to me in their own way. Ha-ha. Good. But you're not satisfied. I don't like that he's giving her a cop out. I like that he didn't push back, that he was supportive.

but I also think even if he doesn't believe that his sister's intentions were to kill, because that may be true, but at the same time, her actions could have. Even if that wasn't her intentions, they could have. So, like, that is, it's just as concerning.

You know what I mean? Like, yeah. And, I mean, you are right. Like, he did back her very quickly. It wasn't like, no, my sister would never do that. but he backed her so quickly because she has a history of doing this. Yeah, that he probably should have warned his shy. I didn't know she was shy.

He probably should have warned his shy wife about this. Yeah, like you're getting married to someone and your sister has a history of pushing people's boundaries. I have people like that in my life that have never ever harassed or bullied or done stuff like this to people. But I would still like tell Justin like, hey, just so, you know, you know, that family member. Little bit of a wild card. If you get a hard time, don't take it personally. Like, you still preface certain people. Typically, I don't know, maybe everyone doesn't have a crazy fucking family like me.

But, like, I feel like that's just common courtesy to someone you're with, especially someone you're marrying, married. Like, hey, my sister, love her. But she does try to push boundaries. Don't let her take advantage of you. Put your foot down. Right. Because if he would have said that from the jump, then she would have been, then. it never would have maybe gone this far.

Maybe, right? Because sister-in-law has mind of her own. But at least give her the warning. Yeah. Yeah. And it's funny because actually recently, I was introducing a friend to another group of people. And one of the things I said,

I kind of was like, this particular person sometimes says things a little kind of wild. So just don't be surprised if this. person says something a little out there. Yeah. And she then afterwards came up to me and was like, this person said XYZ to me. And she's like, and I would have actually been mad, but I remembered what you said. And then I wasn't mad because I'm like, ah, this is just this person. Just their quirky, weird. This is just this person. Yeah. So I do think it is good to give people a heads up. I understand not wanting to like taint a well and kind of like have preconceived notions

when they don't even, maybe they've changed. Maybe they won't treat them like that. But I do think it's good to like at least preface it a little bit, especially if there's that extreme of a history like this situation. I think you need to. I think if you have anything that you know and like some people are like, well, it's not my business. But it's like, like in this situation, it 100% is. Yeah. And you also like, obviously the sister, as he said, is in mental health therapy for behavioral and mental health issues. I'm really happy she's in therapy and addressing it. But at the the same time, like if she has put people's safety in question in the past, I think it's something to know. And like, yeah, I think it's crazy. The one thing that really pissed me off where he was like,

well, I do think the dairy thing was a genuine accident. No. Yeah. No. I'm pretty sure everyone knows butter is dairy. I'm pretty sure you would remember how you cooked tomato rice. Well, and if you're going to bring the dish up and say there's no dairy in it. She made. Very clear. Yeah. That's where I'm like, nope, I don't believe that. No. No.

Those crocodile tears, fake as fuck. Save them, bitch. Fake as fuck. It's titled Crazy Beauty Queen stalker. This is a long story as it's been over five years in the making. I've actually posted this story before, but there are some really good internet sluice here on Reddit, and they were able to figure out ex- Beauty Queen's identity and mine too. I don't really care if I give up my identity

but didn't want it to be on my actual account so I deleted it a while back. The catalyst for me to repost it today on a throwaway is that it's cathartic. Last week, yet another court date for ex-beautie queen stalker came and went. We'd been expecting things to proceed with her entering a plea of guilty or not guilty,

but no such look. All we got was another vague reason as to why she's not ready and a new court date issued, months from now. There have been many court dates since she had, been arrested. It's been over 18 months since she's been arrested for her continued stalking and harassment, and she still wants to drag things on to seemingly try and stay relevant in our lives. To recap, my husband dated a beauty queen title holder of a well-known pageant before me. They broke up

long before we met. She was a statuesque blonde, very tall, a knockout in her day, in my opinion. This is somewhat important to the story, I guess. But while she was a dazzling pageant winner on the outside, on the inside, oh boy. She could be charming and beautiful if she needed you, but mostly she treated people around her terribly, including my husband, and he eventually broke it off with her. But she never went away. She would continue to call an email repeatedly, even after my husband and I met. If anything, her calls increased. She would call over and over again, day and night, even after my husband, then boyfriend, blocked her number. She would ask for money and threatened to go to the police claiming he abused her if he didn't give it if he didn't

give it to her. He obviously did not give her money. This made her very upset. The threats increased and became more malicious. But when that didn't work, she would switch tactics and try and sweetly ask him for help with certain projects. She was trying to get off the ground. At this point, she now needed to generate an income with the promise that, quote, if he did just this one last thing for her, she would go away. He did not reply. So, she would go back to being malicious, any tactic for attention, or for what she really wanted money. My husband was terrified because, of course, while he never did anything to her, it would be her word over his, and he was tired of ruining his reputation and career. We unfortunately ended up at an event

she also attended. She had been waiting for us to arrive and had placed herself near the entrance of the event. As we walked in, she stood across the room, looking me up and down, laughing and whispering into the ear of her date, making a point to try and make me uncomfortable. But that was okay. She was easily ignored until she ambushed me as I came out of the bathroom. She had clearly been waiting for a moment I was alone. She towered over me. She is very tall. I had no intention of having it out with her. And as I hurriedly walked to find my husband, she kept pace beside me, hunched over. So she was at my eye level. I'm 5'5. Her head turned towards me. She was like a caricature of herself as she ambled beside me, smiling maniacally.

Maniacally. I didn't know that was a word. Where is your man? She hissed in her heavy accent. Her eyes were black. She looked like a Tim Burton movie. Oh my God. Hunched over and with that crazy demonic smile.

Watch your back pug. She added grinning. She liked to call me names like pug because I own pugs and I guess she thought it was an insult. Well, I didn't know then was while I was in the bathroom. She had walked over to my husband and had thrown her arm around him while he was mid-conversation with someone and introduced herself to the man he was talking to, as if she and my husband were together.

My husband unwrapped himself from her clutches and told her to beat it. She then beeline and waited for me to come out of the bathroom. We stopped going to the parties. Yeah. The last time we ran into her was at a funeral for a mutual friend. She followed me around at the wake. As my husband, boyfriend at the time, was talking to the man's widow, I was talking to a friend and his wife. She walked right up and stood with us, joining us mid-conversation, as if she were a part of the group.

It was unnerving, but also just bizarre. It was a funeral, and I did not want a scene. I silently picked my wine glass off the bar and walked away, leaving her with the couple I'd been speaking to, and her staring at me with a smirmed. on her face. All in all, annoying but manageable. She would call my husband over and over day and night, even though he had long blocked the number. She would drive by. I found my car keyed one night after I left it outside. Oh my God. But obviously I couldn't prove it's her. But enough was enough. My husband had a lawyer send a cease and desist. After the first, she called him from a private number. He answered and she said, hi, it's me.

In a sing-song voice, literally the way O.P. typed it, I envision it being like that. Yeah. In a sing-song voice, like they were best of friends, and he hadn't just sent her a lawyer's letter, ordering her to stay away from him and his family. He said nothing and hung up. Another cease and desist was sent. Then a third. Nothing would make her go away.

She did not actually think my husband was capable of not wanting to be with her, because, you know, her beauty. Eventually, though, she got pissed that he was not giving in. So she decided to take this rage to the internet. I knew that she was absolutely checking out my social media, but I don't really use it that much, so I didn't care. However, she created a fake Twitter account and tweeted, Husband's name is a fraud, and tagged his colleagues, friends, investors, family members,

every single person she could think of to try and ruin his reputation and career. On New Year's Eve, she posted on my Instagram account, at exactly 12.1 a.m. Happy New Year's, Scrud. Social media settings all went to private. We went to the police armed with the emails threatened to give her money or she would go to the police. She was charged with two counts of harassment

and her restraining order was put in place. To our shock, the next day after her arrest, our phones were buzzing. The story had made to the front page news. Clearly a slow news day. Yeah. Her day in court came right before COVID. We arrived to the courthouse and sat down.

she walked in. We were shocked by her appearance. Actually, shocked as an understatement. She was unrecognizable from her former self. Gone was the statuesque dazzling blonde. She had apparently shaved her head and was wearing a short, ratty brown wig. She had gained about 80 pounds, give her take, and was now sort of hunched. With her height and new girth, she looked like a linebacker. To add to her new look, she wore a bulky brown men's overcoat and a scarf tied over her wig, like a babushka. My immediate thought was, quote, her outside now matches her inside,

but it was her eyes that I noticed the most. About a year earlier, we had shown a photo of her to our kids so that if she ever approached them, they knew to run. Oh my God, no. At the time, my son, who was young, commented that she had mean eyes

from the mouth of babes. Maybe it was that she had changed so much physically overall, but her dark eyes had narrowed into deep black slits, As she scanned the courtroom and saw us in court, she would turn around every so often to look bad at us in glare. She would then whisper in her lawyer's ear and laugh as if she were having a grand time. She had a pair of big, round, cheap sunglasses that she would put on and take off intermittently.

When she addressed the judge, she put them on, and he asked her to remove them. We thought she was putting on a brave face and treating it all like a joke, but we were about to find out that getting arrested wouldn't slow her down. The restraining order didn't seem to face her at all. If anything, it angered her more. From then on, every day and night, she would post from multiple fake social media accounts, posting photos of myself, of my husband.

She would put my husband's photos with the caption, pedophile, or other terrible names that included racist and transphobic comments and captions. To give you a slight idea, she posted altered pictures of my husband, Photoshop to look like he was wearing heavy makeup and referring to him as a pre-op transgender. She posted altered and unfiltered,

and unflattering photos of myself. She called me old, ugly. Those are the G-rated ones. Listen, I'm no beauty queen myself. The name calling, while obsessive and gross, wasn't what bothered me most, although I'm not going to lie. Seeing hundreds of photos of myself

of her fake Twitter account calling me ugly and obsessively pointing out every single perceived flaw did succeed in getting me down at the times. Why did I keep looking? Because I was getting a glimpse in her unraveling, unraveled mind.

Just in case it was a clue of what she was capable of or thinking of doing next. Because it wasn't her insulting post that phased me. What bothered me most were the sinister captions. Keep an eye on your kids. I'd be watching. Or, why don't you plant some flowers in your front yard? Or be good to your kids because you never know what could happen.

How was your Uber Eats order? She would post pictures of me. She would post pictures of me with an arrow directed to my head. head, which I perceived to be a gun to my head. She posted pictures of my husband's workplace, which she was not allowed to be within two blocks of in accordance to the restraining order, but the police said this could just be a picture she took from the internet. Sigh. She posted Agatha Christie quotes, like, every killer is usually someone you know well, or your end is near. Her Twitter profile banner picture was taken from a movie poster

and said, stalker, like she was in on the joke. We called the police again, but they asked, and there wasn't anything they could do since she didn't explicitly tag us. I took screenshots of everything. Many of her posts were nonsensical, but most were photos posted of us on this fake account, all altered with derogatory or ominous captions, but we couldn't get her shut down.

I became anxious any time my kids were outside shooting hoops in the driveway. My elderly mother wouldn't take the baby out in the stroller. She was too scared. It affected all of our lives. Life became dramatic. Ex-beauty queen would taunt us with Catch me if you can. She posted close-ups of her dog's genitals or a piece of her dog's shit with my name beside it. The implication obvious. It bothered me. She now had a dog since I didn't think someone like her was capable of caring for anything living. Then the calls started back up. This time to our homeline. Yes, we still have a homeline, L-L. Bitch and then hung up.

Karma will get you. And then weird chantlight calls, as if she were reciting a spell. Sure enough, she posted photos of a pentagram and candles as some sort of altar and the caption, Ring, ring, ring. Finally, finally, the police asked us to come in and give video statements. We gave them a drive containing thousands of screenshots of post she had made. They arrested her again and charged her with two more accounts of criminal harassment. My husband was angry at this point.

but as Mama Bear, I just wanted to get this over with. She mentioned the kids frequently and ominously many times in her online rants, also calling them rude names, which I won't repeat here, because these are the things that upset me most. The judge also issued a social media ban for her. By the time she was re-arrested for the second time, her fake Twitter account, which was literally mostly insights or references to my family, had 16,000 tweets in a three-month period.

She has no followers, so they were just to herself. The porn sites I had continuously being tagged on stopped. Things quieted down tremendously, but I still get follow requests that I believe are her. But at this point, we were all on edge. I kid you not, I felt weird walking into my kitchen at night to make a sandwich, feeling creeped out that she was outside watching. I put nothing past her, as nothing is more dangerous than a desperate woman who has nothing to lose, which, by the way, was one of the quote.

she posted. Oh. I don't know what is wrong with her. I believe from what I've researched, she is a malignant narcissist. Perhaps some other mental issues at play here, but I can say she was a terrible person long before she decided to try and make

our lives miserable. Crazy beauty queen turned stalker. I would love nothing more than to never meet again. But if going to court helps you stay away from us forever, then bring it. As an aside, I wanted to mention that we heard from a reliable source that after my husband broke up with her, she allegedly became known to police for other reasons. While my husband dodged

a bullet regarding her threats to go to police saying he abused her, apparently other men have not been so lucky. Since I can't post pictures, I'll leave you with one of her posts. One that may not make much sense, but to us, it was a statement to let us know she enjoys this drawn-out court process. Many of her posts are in her native language, so this was translated. And so it goes, quote, violent women and the cruelest never answer questions. They like to continue the misunderstanding indefinitely. So I seek to contact people only in order to torment them. My cruelty is my last attachment to the world.

I don't know. What in the fuck? Terrify. That's it, right? I don't, I can't, I can't keep going on this. This, this is like almost more of a nightmare. This is, like, I'm stressed. I'm stressed. I don't know.

This is terrifying because of the fact that she's posting pictures of her outside of her house getting door dash with like an arrow over her head, like a target, like a gun. It's literally just every possible worst case scenario. Like every possible thing she could do she's doing. Just absolutely crazy. Can you imagine? Because you would. You would be in fear of everything, every single day.

You would not live a normal life. I'd be scared to go anywhere alone. I'd be scared. I'm already scared to go outside in the dark by myself, but I would truly be scared. But how about it's this direct? It's terrifying. I think this is something too

that's really, really, really fucking hard about our modern times is the social media stalking. And that's something Alejandro really talked about because Alhondra went through that. Like most of her stocking was online. And there's not a lot they can do about it. Like cops kind of refuse to step in.

It's like, oh, well, she could have got it off the internet. Like she wasn't really at your husband's work. Well, it's tough too because when you're not directly the one receiving the shit, remove like the emotion, remove the fact of being scared and being emotionally attached to this. By law, there technically is nothing going wrong, which is what the downfall, I think, is. But if there wasn't social media, this lady, this woman would still, like, she'd be leaving notes on the front doorstep or some crazy shit. But then there's more hard, like, hard evidence. Like, notes on a doorstep, you can actually, like, she had to have come to your doorstep

to set a note there. Online stalking is so hard to trace. And it's also like, well, how do we even know it's her? It's kind of like a sluff off. Like, it's like, well, we don't know it's her. She's not really doing anything. But yet, this is almost scarier. No, she is single-handedly, like, ruining these people's lives.

Yeah. When you start living in fear every single day, you're not living a good life. Mm-mm. Like, that's traumatic. No, this is, well, stress changes your DNA. Like, it is proven that stress changes our DNA and makes us unhealthy. It causes so many health issues.

I just can't imagine. Like, I'm stressed just listening to it. I know. And I'm trying to think about what it would be like to even be in this a little bit. And I just can't. I don't know. I don't know what I do. Because you almost can't even move away.

Because then she's going to move away. Like there's no, what's the solution? And you want to live your life. You don't want to move away and be far from family because she caught. Right. So what do you do? Yeah. What can you do?

Try to fight it. You know, the way they are. So top comment. No. I know. Top comment. So I'm nosy and wanted to see who she was. So I googled ex- Beauty Queen stalker.

And literally four different women have come up so far from pageants. What the hell is wrong with these people? That must have been absolute hell. hopefully your family finds peace and that cycle goes to jail for what she's done to you and your family. Stay safe, O.P. replies back and goes, I doubt she'll go to jail, but we are hoping for some sort of punishment. She just doesn't seem to think the law applies to her. Our fear is that if the restraining order is lifted one day, she'll go right back to bothering us. It's taken a lot of time and effort to get her to stay away from us, but she's still bothering them. Constantly. You're going to live in fear literally the rest of your life. Like honestly, truly, what can you?

can you do? It's terrifying. Terrifying. And what's crazy is, too, you hear a lot of these stories, and it doesn't even come from a relationship like this one. Sometimes people are like, up, I met this person, or they were, you randomly meet someone in life. And then all of a sudden, it's like, they're sending you messages, they're doing this. And it's like, oh, it's just bad luck. I don't know. Because you're never going to change these people. You just want to never meet these people somehow. Which is literally why the subreddit is called, let's not meet.

How do you avoid it, though? Oh, my God. I'm stressed. Okay, well, this one's not going to help your anxiety anymore. I need some comments. There's no comments? I mean, there are, but. There's just like, what can you say?

Yeah. I see as you kept reading it I was just like more and more blown away yeah I was just I just I don't know I don't know because yeah you would be in fear that some crazy ass shit's gonna go down forever it's interesting because I think people in the comments did figure her out because someone goes if it makes you feel any better she looks like a Russian mail ordered bride and she does have dark creepy dead eyes that's not going to make anyone feel better it's not going to make anyone feel better it's It's like this is a threat that is present in your life that you can do nothing about. Yeah. And they're threatening your kids. They're threatening you. Like, come on. They think she's the Canadian beauty queen, which let's Google her just so we can.

Yes. Canadian Beauty Queen Stalker. Those are my search terms. If you want to Google it for yourself, former Miss Universe. I mean, do you think she had this peak and then, like, can't handle the fact that that was then and now there's nothing to do? Because how do you end up? This is her, oh, fucking ads. This is her at the time of her win.

Beautiful. Like, her, I don't think her eyes look that dead there. But. I don't know. She doesn't look like a Miss Universe to me. Well. She just looks like some average soccer mom. What?

She was also an executive producer. So she was going and doing stuff with her career. But what makes you so crazy? I mean, is there actually, is this truly mental health? Okay. She looked good when she was in Miss Universe. She's hot. Look at her.

Why, how did you, like, this is the halo effect. Like pretty people can't be evil. but like, like, I don't know. I think, I think a lot of it could be ego, but I think this is mental illness, like, true. This goes beyond just, like, being mad about an ex or being so, like, missing someone. Yeah, no, this is mental illness.

Like, to me, she just sounds so unhinged. And the fact that her appearance is slipping now, like someone who goes to Miss Universe and is very diligent about their appearance, like her appearance has been her whole life. You don't get to that point unless it is. Well, it didn't slip. Those are beauty pageants.

She went off. That's a mental breakdown. And 80 pound weight gain, like, that's one of the key signs in mental health, like, in mental illness is like your self-care slips. You don't brush your hair. You don't brush your teeth, like all of that stuff. So for this drastic change, her shaving her head, like it is a true, this is mental illness to me.

Well, it just spiraled out of control. I mean, maybe the breakup and hit or her being like, really, you don't want me? Just everything. It sounds like. And then just spirals into some crazy shit. Yeah. It sounds like post-pagent life just. But there becomes a point where, yes, you can be upset and act emotionally after a breakup or something similar.

Yeah. There becomes a point where you start taking steps that you are, you're doing things on purpose now. You're purposely trying to push it to this extreme level. You don't just end up doing this crazy shit. You're making these choices to physically go after people. No, but again, like it's a mental illness. Like this is her fixation. She probably feels slighted.

She has like, this is her point of perseverance. I guess. She's perseverating on this family, this person. Well, and it's working too to some degree because they're definitely not living a normal life. No. But it just sucks because there's no way to combat that. No. Unfortunately.

Harassment, harassment, whatever. Hopefully they get their date in court and it goes well. Oh my God. I don't even know what to do. Why? Because that's just so nuts. I know, but like, they're safe. They have a restraining order so far.

They're not safe, though. That's not safety. Yeah, I take that back. I would not feel, like, I would feel the furthest thing from. And you think about just like us today, working, watching football, going to the grocery store, every single move you make, you'd have to think twice about. Yeah. And you'd just be wondering, you'd be checking your social. It's like, no.

You wouldn't, I wouldn't even post on social media anymore. Like, it would be so scary, like, to be out and, like, posting at a restaurant you're at. It's just literal hell. Yeah. And these people don't deserve it. That's just. No. That's the thing about stalkers, like, stalkers, while they might not be hurting you physically, like, they're probably the most mentally debilitating form of harassment.

Because your whole life, every single part of it is scary. Like, what if they're watching me? What if they're following me? What if they, this was their moment. Like, you're, yeah. The time my mom kidnapped our newborn is the title. To preface this, the incident happened exactly one year ago today. We are no contact with my parents and will be for the foreseeable future unless my mom gets therapy.

My, doting wife and I are in therapy, but not so much because of the issues we have in our marriage, but because we both have shitty families and neither of us until meeting our therapist had strong spines. We are very low contact with wife's mother. She's more BEC than anything, but she also has some drug issues she's dealing with, namely an addiction to painkillers.

What is BEC? There's a lot of terms on just no mother-in-law, and here's where my Reddit expertise goes down. Let's Google it. someone literally posted on just no mother-in-law and they go what do all the acronyms mean question exclamation question exclamation just like down a line because i love like a lot of the subreddits when they they abbreviate things like i'm i'm i'll like mother-in-law obviously abbreviate it great but just no mother-in-law is like notorious for like creating these new fucking

it's like the little text things it's so annoying so someone literally the top comment on this post. I've stopped coming here often because of all the damn acronyms. I hate acronyms. Mother-in-law is fine. I don't follow the stories that have a lot of acronyms. So funny. It also probably takes more effort to think through what acronym it would be rather than just type it. So apparently BEC is like throughout this entire thread. And apparently it stands for bitch eating crackers. I was going to guess that. Basically, a BEC moment or action is when the person you're talking about has gone so fed up that every little thing they do is annoying, deservedly or not.

Okay. So they're just like, they're on your nerve. Got it. Essentially. Okay, let's go back a year in a few days. Wife is due any second with our first child. My mom up to this point has been a bitch eating crackers, mostly little annoying things. However, she has also been patronizing of wife in the six years we were together, two years married.

I've always shut that shit down, but I'll admit I should have gone low contact or no contact before this. So the plan was to have both sets of parents to the hospital after the baby arrived and wife and I had time to bond. Her parents accepted that. My dad, who is an enabler, was okay with that, but my mom was not. She demanded she'd be at the hospital. We told her no. She had to wait. Finally, she said, okay, after she saw, we wouldn't put our feet down.

So the baby was born. It's a boy. We hadn't found out, so it was a big surprise. Anyway, both sets of parents come. Everything's good. Finally, wife is tired, so I walk my parents out. Hers had gone home. My dad went out to get the car.

I waited by the front door with mom. She turns to me and says that my dad and her are filing for custody of our baby. She claims my wife is on drugs like her mom. A lie, wife doesn't even drink, and that she saw how wife was around the baby and she fears for his safety. I'm stunned. My dad pulls up and she gets in and leaves. I go back upstairs and my wife sees my face. I really don't want to tell her, but I'm not going to.

to lie to her. She's upset as I am, so I text my mom that she's not to contact us. I then block her number. My younger sister's blowing my phone up, and I know it's my mom. I get along great with my little sister, as does wife, but she was a minor at the time and lived with my folks. We go home the next day. Wife had tearing and therefore needs meds. She refuses paying meds because of family history, but she says she will take Advil. So I go get some things at CBS. wife and baby are sleeping, him and his caught, in line getting us dinner, when wife calls hysterical. She woke up and no baby. Oh my God. I run home and we are both a mess at this time. Then my neighbor comes over and she says, what's going on? She sees me running like my feet are on fire.

So I tell her, she tells me, wait, so your parents weren't supposed to take the baby? Yep. My mom came and kidnapped my baby. Wow. I call the sheriff's office. My best friend is a deputy there. As soon as I tell him and his partner what happened, they had to get our baby. Turns out my dad wasn't involved in the actual kidnapping, although I'm sure he knew about it. My mom knew at the time where we kept a spare key and let herself in. Both her and her FM were arrested because there wasn't a chance in hell we weren't pressing charges. The baby was returned to us, and according to my friend, they had a nursery waiting. Holy fucking shit.

How did the fucking, what's wrong with the dad? He's an enabler. But what a psychopath. I don't care if you're an enabler. That's scary to me because this other woman, she probably has some severe mental health issues. This dad seems like he's just like going along with the ride. It's like just as bad as doing it.

Yeah, it is. I think enabling in some cases is just as bad as actually doing it. Well, yeah. I think it's literally, if not even worse, because like, well, I'm pretending that the dad is a little bit more level and the mom is just like having some serious issues. So like if that's the case, then like how can you in your right fucking mind watch somebody kidnap someone else's baby? I have a nursery ready.

A nursery. Oh, my God. That's where the thing. The dad obviously knew the plan. Right. It was, she's rearranging a guest bedroom or whatever, an office for a fucking new baby. But how is that ever going to work? Oh, well, actually, she could have said like, oh, I just want to make sure the baby has a comfortable place to like stay.

When we watch the baby. Yeah. And he might have been like, oh, my wife's being crazy. But because she said she, was that right after she gave birth to the baby? Yeah. That is so crazy. I can't even imagine like being like after having birth, like having some psychopath like say this shit to me. Right.

but you have to be nuts to think that that's actually going to work. You're not going to end up with the kid. Yeah. What's the point? Unhinged. She's unhinged. And that's the thing. Like you,

her being like, oh, I saw how she was with the baby. I'm scared for his safety. She just pushed that thing out. What? How can you say that? That little baby is probably just like,

that's going to hold up in court. What do you mean? Like all the doctors are around. Like she couldn't even abuse that baby if she desperately wanted to. No. You don't even mean? Like, she's like, and also, who knows how long her goddamn labor was. Like, she was potentially pushing exhausted in labor forever.

Like, she's probably so tired and just wants to bond with her child and then sleep. And then to have her mother-in-law come in and be like, yeah, well, you can go fuck yourself. I'm going to take your baby. And you're just trying to like recover. Recuperate. You're just trying to take a little Advil and relax. Wait, do we have the ages of everyone? No ages in this post.

Oh my God. His username, though, is not today, Satan. I love that. It is another horror film exorcism. I don't know. Justin, these ones might fuck you up more than Lauren. Oh, no, it doesn't, like, I'm not afraid of all that, but I'm just like, fuck. Can you imagine?

Yeah, it's wild. Because, again, on the, like, you have to, now you have to. now you will not have these people in your life. No, if my mom tried to do this to me, I would kick her ass. I'm picturing that. It's very interesting. I just can't imagine. I can't imagine any parent in my life doing that.

I don't know. I mean, what if someone was normal forever, and then it just happened? And they snapped. Yeah, well, like the one stepmom, they had a good relationship until they got pregnant. It's like, oh, so he does go in a same. my mom was sentenced, but because of her standing in the community, she was only given a slap on the wrist. However, the negative attention she got after that event spurred her and my dad to move. Good.

Thankfully, my sister... Leave, bitch. Thankfully, my sister turned 18 before then, and she stayed with us a few months before going a few states away to school. For a long time, both her and my dad were radio silent. However, my mom has tried to reach out in the last few months. Thankful... Thankfully, we've learned from this. We have cameras, a security system, and no spare key outside.

Our neighbor, who is now a great friend, has our spare key. We are three months along with our second child. I'm hoping my mom doesn't find out. Season two, neighbor steals baby. Oh, my God. I knew, like. Can you imagine? I know you're...

No spare key. No spare key. I know that you're just... You just had a kid. you're trying to get, you know, and that takes up crazy amounts of time and is very stressful in itself. But if I were this couple, I would also move.

That's what I was thinking too. I was surprised they stayed. I wouldn't, I don't know. I would just be out. Yeah, so this guy, neighbor has the key. He did move, actually, now that you mentioned that. I really trust the neighbors.

And he moved to a gated community that has a security guard, and has been made aware of the mom. So no worry there. She's going to jump the bushes. Yeah. What's interesting, though, is the story I was between on this one.

The title is, mother-in-law basically kidnapped my baby. And it's very, very, very similar. We had our daughter about four weeks ago. She's been over at least three days every week since we've had her. She's always telling me what I'm doing wrong and how she'd do things differently.

Baby is up every two hours and she insists she'd sleep through the night if she could stay at grandmas. Oh, yeah. So what she did is they put the baby down to sleep. The two of them went to bed and they woke up, you know, four hours later and they were like,

the baby hasn't woken up yet. What, like, what is going on? The baby hasn't woken up. Did she die from SIDS? Because that's every, you know, I feel like that's, at least it would be my fear, but I feel like as a new mom first time mom, it's a big part of like your fears as like cids and so they go and check on the baby and it's gone

turns out turns out the mother-in-law stole the key came in and took the baby yeah and these are the people you're trying to rely on to help you in these times of very much need yeah where you just need an extra hour of sleeper you need a little help here can you watch the baby just help us out a little bit. And then this shit happens. Do you know what makes me mad about stuff like this? Is that, and this could go for a lot of different situations, but this person was a mother once. Yeah. And I'm just like, don't you put yourself in the shoes if when you were a brand new mother, if your mother-in-law or if your mother did this? Like, like, because you were a mother, because you know how that feels, how do you think this is okay? I think they disenfranchise. I think they disson.

associate from their time as a mother and it's almost like there could be I mean there's so many reasons it could be like they're better than I feel like I feel like they feel entitled to this child I think maybe there's some mental health things where I want to do over I want this to be my baby I see this as my baby I'm this is just me and I'm right you're doing it wrong I mean it's kind of like justin said like how maybe you have all these crazy thoughts but how do you think you're going to get away with that? Right, it's never going to happen. Unhinged.

Okay, buckle up, y'all. This is another one that was originally posted to our two hot takes subreddit. Yes. I love these. They feel so much more personal. Knowing that it's like one of us out there. Yeah, and that they will really actually maybe hear what we have to say about it.

I know. It is scary. That's one thing too when people are like, do you think all the stories you read are real? And I feel like, yeah, most of them, obviously it's Reddit. We're going to get some that are fake and spammy and whatever. But it doesn't mean that even the fake ones haven't happened to someone because anything is possible in this world. But when I meet someone at a live show and they're like, this happened to me and oh my God, you should talk about it on the show.

I'm like, uh-huh. I'm like, if that's happening to a real person I'm meeting, then all these other ones are very plausible. Oh yeah. This one, very plausible. Here we go. My old stalker is back and my husband is making me feel like I'm the crazy one. Hi, sorry, this is my first time writing in and I don't know what to do, so I'm just going to jump in. I'm using a throwaway because I'm sure my actual account is being watched.

Also fake names. So I, 32 female and my husband, 33 male, have been arguing a lot recently over my old stalker. For some background back in college, I was 24, I dated a guy, let's call him Fred, for around two months. Fred was interesting, to say the least. To save time, he had several red flags once we started dating, so I dumped him. Fred acted like he couldn't care less, so I thought that was that. A few months go by, and I'm starting to see Fred everywhere. I see him at the grocery store I go to, my go-to nail place, my favorite restaurants, etc.

I thought it was just a weird coincidence, so I left it at that. A year after our breakup, he starts messaging me, telling me he was the happiest with me and that he misses me so much. I called bullshit and I blocked him. Then things escalated. Fred changed numbers every time I blocked him, made new social media accounts, and I started seeing his car everywhere. I tried getting a restraining order against Fred, but since he hadn't done anything to me, they couldn't do anything. A few months later, I was walking to my car at night. Fred coincidentally saw me walking alone and offered me a ride home. I said no, that I had my own car, and I kept walking. Fred proceeded to get out of his car and tried pushing

me into his car. I punched him and ran to my car. Hell yeah. I drove away, and luckily, he didn't follow. I tried again to get a restraining order, but it was basically, basically his word against mine. They gave me a temporary restraining order, but that's it. I was terrified of even walking outside and deleted all my socials. Thankfully, a very close friend, let's call him Pete, stepped in to defend me. Pete ended up threatening Fred, and I finally stopped hearing from Fred. I felt free and slowly got back into my normal life. Now to present day. I'm now married to my husband. I've graduated from college and live alone with my husband. We moved to a nearby city and bought a house together.

Sadly, a month ago, Pete died during his sleep, and I was absolutely devastated. I've known Pete since I was in high school and he was my closest friend. To be honest, I'm still not over his death and sometimes I can't believe he's gone. But guess who heard about his death? That's right, folks. Fred found out and is now back. I received text from Fred a few days after Pete died. I now see him everywhere, and he's insisting that we talk. I just walk away and ignore him.

I've reported him, but nothing has happened, so I deleted my socials again. Friends have been telling me Fred has been asking around about me. He's asked if I moved, what I am doing lately, if I have other social media accounts, etc. I'm honestly terrified. I've moved since I finished college, but since I've moved since I'm doing lately, but since I'm doing lately, Somehow I see him at my gym, grocery store, park, etc. It honestly makes me believe he never stopped watching me, and it's terrifying. Ew.

I've told my husband about everything, and he says, I'm overreacting, or just plain ignores my concerns and changes the subject. I've argued that he doesn't care, and he argues back asking, what do I expect him to do? He says that Fred doesn't know where we live, and that will just change gyms. My husband is telling me to change my regular routine and stop going to certain places. He says it's no big deal and Fred is harmless. I'm like, Fred tried to force me in his car.

How is that harmless? My husband has been distant ever since this started and I feel alone. I don't want to tell my friends in fear they will tell Fred. I can't go to my family because I'm in no contact with them. and of course my husband could not care less. I need advice. What do I do? Am I crazy?

Should I just change my gym and my routine like how my husband says? Part of me just wants to move completely, but another part is basically asking myself, why do I have to uproot my life and change everything because of him? Can't he just leave me alone? It's been like 10 years already, and I want to move on from this. Should I just talk to Fred hoping he'll finally leave me alone? No.

that's really tough. This is terrifying. Also, well, number one, your husband sucks. Absolutely. What? At the very, like, even if you don't understand, like, the idea of someone stalking you, you should still, like, feel her fear and, like, be supportive of her and help her out. It's insane.

If I told Justin, I have a stalker and I'm scared, the last thing he would be like is, oh, well, change your team. and I guess you shouldn't get your coffee anymore and you shouldn't do this and you shouldn't do that. Like he's fine. He's fine. He's just going to relearn her routine. He's learned it now. Why would he not relearn it? How is that going to help? Stalkers adapt. Like, Alejandro has talked about having a stalker way in the past on an episode. And like, they adapt. They find different ways to get to you. Like when they're that unhinged in the head, it doesn't matter what you do. They are going to find a way. He also clearly knows where they live. Why would he know? not. Oh, he does. He has to do is watch her come out of her house and see what her new routine is. I just don't think that would be that hard. I mean, if he already knows what gym she's going to,

you just follow her home from the gym. Exactly. Like, it's so, so unhinged. To say he doesn't know where they live is actually crazy. Yeah, and like, he definitely knows where you live. If he's finding you at the gym, he probably already put a tracker on your car. Oh, God, see, I'm not even thinking that far. You're right. She's, there can be a tracker anywhere. Yeah, you immediately have to start, like, getting those little scanners and making sure there's no hidden cameras on your stuff. Like, I don't think she's being paranoid.

I don't think she's overreacting. Coincidence? No. There's no coincidences with stalkers. No. That he gets threatened and then once, I'm also sorry for your friend. Yeah. So sorry for that.

God. You have to deal with this as well. And the fact that then you're going through this insane. tragic loss of your best friend and you have your stalker reach out days later. That's like almost, it like over, right? Like, you're already sad about this and then the fear is just going to be like even worse. Completely overwhelming. I mean, the fight or flight response to your nervous system, like I would be, I would be crashing out. Like, I would be really, really difficult for me. And the thing is, I don't know what the solution is. I mean,

because the police are no help and still something terrible happens, which sucks is like, what are they, they've already told her they can't do anything, which is stupid. I know. It's really, really unfortunate how bad our system is at dealing with restraining orders and protecting people, especially women. There was just a double homicide in, I believe, New York. And this woman was a veterinarian. her ex-boyfriend was a cop and he kept harassing her, kept stalking her.

She tried to file a restraining order after a restraining order. That's going to be even harder because he's in with them. Yeah. And so she didn't get it. She started dating this new guy who was either a firefighter

or like volunteer firefighter and the cop, ex-boyfriend, came in and killed him both. Like believe people. Like if you're out there in law enforcement, like take the report. Like I would rather be safe than sorry. Like,

but can they like legally? just not tape like what I don't understand I don't I don't need a lawyer I don't know I don't know and I wonder if there's anyone out there like who's involved on this side of things whether law enforcement or lawyers like do you say like I want you to then document that you're not filing something like can you ask for that yeah like does that help can you get a report that or a statement that you came in and attempted to file like just by the time like there's enough like evidence to file it's kind of already too late I know and it shouldn't be like that no I mean, what harm does a restraining order cause?

Like if someone's coming in genuinely out of fear and saying, hey, can I have a restraining order or even like something maybe not as serious, like a temporary protective order, I'm not sure in the scale of things, which is, you know, ask for the less severe one and just something to have documentation at the very least. But like, but you need the people on the other side, the law enforcement agencies to like there needs to be an initiative. where people are believed and helped. Yeah. It's really frustrating. Really frustrating. Because like, the only thing that I can think of is somebody else in her circle threatening him again. And I don't know what the relationship between Fred and Pete were.

Yeah. Clearly, Peach threat was like severe. Like, he was scared of Pete. I mean, he stayed away for about 10 years. Supposedly. That other comment. Which is also really spooky. I know that comment from O.P.

Where it's like, I don't think he ever really went away like that. That would actually... To have your whole sense of peace just like shattered. Because like if he wanted to stalk her and not be seen, he could do that. He clearly wants to be seen. Yeah. Insane. Top comment on the post.

I would actually consider divorce over this. The way he is completely dismissing your very valid fears would be a deal breaker for me. He says Fred is harmless. ask him what makes him believe that. The fact he is telling you to just change your routine makes my blood boil. If you change your routine,

the stalker feels satisfaction because he is able to control part of your life by what he is doing. I didn't even think about it like that either. That is terrifying. Because he knows he's getting to you. Yep. Ew.

Wow. And then next comment down, yeah, quote, husband, if Fred is harmless as you say, why should I change my routine? Those two things don't go together. I don't think he cares at all. No.

I don't think he believes her. Someone goes, I've been around long enough to be suspicious that maybe Fred wrote the husband a letter or met him somewhere and had a brief conversation. And that's why he deemed Fred as harmless. Because a man talks to another man and therefore he is harmless. That would, if I was the husband, that would weird me out. I know. What?

Yeah. A lot of people are just irate at the husband. I'd call husband on his bluff and demand. We move states or even countries. Okay, darling, your idea is really great. Let's change our routine by moving away from Fred. But realistically, divorce. I think just the way he, like, doesn't care at all is, like, divorce worthy.

Yeah. It's insane. We do have a couple comments from OP. People are asking, like, what does your husband, like, actually think. And O.P. goes, my husband thinks I'm overreacting and says if anything happens that Fred will end up in jail. And I hate when he says that because what does that even mean? If anything happens, what if she dies? That is a very real reality when you have someone this unhinged. Right. And OP goes on to say, do I have to end up in a ditch before I can finally be left

alone? That's what I'm saying. What do you mean? I think this man just has like, I don't even know what it would be called, but you know how men are just not scared of, like, being harassed the way women are. He just has, like, no concept of what it would be like. Yeah. And I think that's, like, that's kind of a common thing, maybe. But you should still have empathy for what your partner is saying. You absolutely should. And I'm really curious, like, because I've asked Justin about this and I'm like, do you ever think about getting kidnapped? And his answer is no. And so maybe that's kind of the same thing where it's like a lot of, you know, guys out there can't really. conceptualize the fear from a stalker because it's not a real fear for them?

It's not an everyday thing. It's not to leave your house and have that thought thing. Yeah. And I know there's always exceptions to the rule, but like if you're a guy out there listening, like, I don't know. Like, can you be empathetic even though it's not a real fear for you? I would assume so. A hundred percent. Especially when it's your partner. Your partner says, I'm scared. And you're like, me. You're fine. Fred'll go to jail if anything happens. You don't understand the law at all or our justice system at all. That is a lack of knowledge.

What has to happen, babe? Yeah, something illegal. Why do I have to be collateral damage because Fred can't get a clue? Right. I hate him. Dumb man. I know. O.P. does go on to say in another comment, I do have a protection pack, and I carry a bat in my car just in case. Ooh, she ready.

I've been changing up my routine, hoping I won't see him, and it's worked a bit, but not entirely. Yeah, because he's still going to figure it out. It might work for, like, a couple days until he relearns. Mm-hmm. So we do get an update. I'm stressed about this update, actually.

Yeah, so this update came a day later. Small update and some information about my stalker situation. I'm still new to posting, on Reddit, so for the first part of my post, it should be on my account. My friends don't talk to Fred, and they are aware of the situation. Fred has reached out to them randomly asking about me. They have reported and blocked him as well. Now for the update.

Last night, I decided to have a serious conversation with my husband one last time. I sat down with him and explained the whole situation again. Told him how scared I've been and that he needs to take this seriously. I wanted to show him how terrified I was. how small I've been made to feel not just by Fred, but also him. How his lack of support and concern for my own safety

is making me question our marriage. I asked if he'd even do anything, if I was found in a ditch. That is sad that you have to say that. Yeah. He was silent the whole time while looking at the floor. We sat in silence for a few minutes

before I got up to pack my things. My husband proceeded to cry. He apologized. and said he'd make this right. Good. He said he didn't want to overreact in fear of scaring me more, but when in reality, it made me feel alone. My husband has been looking into Fred, without my knowledge,

and has found out where he works, lives, and even Fred's family contact info. He wanted to gather more information about Fred before contacting a lawyer. I'm like so shocked by that. I'm confused. Buddy, you don't have to keep the tough front. tell me tell me you're on my team yeah what is he thinking like no no great i'm so glad you're doing this

i'm so glad you're doing this but come on man make her feel good like make her feel safe make her feelings feel validated that's what everyone wants in a partner like at a base level like just you hear me she can help you look into him too you don't got to go do this by yourself you're not batman come on but like thanks for doing that man We're both taking a few days off of work to get our ducks in a row. We're getting a lawyer and gathering evidence of Fred's harassment. We're also currently looking for a therapist so we can both talk about this whole situation and other issues we have in our marriage.

I also have some voicemails Fred has left me, and I officially think he's lost it. I have an Apple iPhone and you're able to see voicemails from blocked numbers. Some of the messages are of him saying straight up gibberish, while others are as a if he's having a conversation with me. He says things like, quote, oh yeah, babe, I get off of work late, so tonight is a no-go. Or, quote, I'm off,

so you can come pick it up right now. No? Yeah. I don't know. I can't do this anymore. There's a lot of fashion in my life. It sounds like he's having a conversation, but it's no one else,

just him. And it's terrifying. Well, he's probably on drugs or something. or having an active psychosis. Yeah, that's true. My husband does feel bad and is trying his best to console me. He has apologized repeatedly for making me feel lonely and has been more supportive and open. Currently, he's looking through my car to check if there's anything that might be giving my location to Fred.

I'll keep you all updated if we find anything or if anything else happens. Thank you for all the advice and support. And OP ends it with, I've posted another update. I think you can find it on my post. I was just be like, I just knew the next update. So the first update was coming from May 23rd of this year. The second update is June 6th. So 13 days later, almost two weeks later.

Update number two, wasn't sure if I should make an update, but decided to anyways to maybe get some more advice. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and encouragement. I finished listening to the book, The Gift of Fear, and it really opened my eyes to a lot. Now, on to the update. After my husband didn't find anything in my car, I still felt something wrong, so I took people's advice and took my car to a mechanic, told the mechanic about my situation, and if he could take a look at my car.

And to my horror, a couple of days later, my mechanic found a small little cube that was placed under my car. At first, I really wanted to believe it was just a part of my car or something, but my mechanic explained that it wasn't, and it was deliberately hidden. The cube is really small and magnetic. I called my lawyer right then and told them everything. I got pictures of the GPS and where it was placed. I thanked the mechanic and drove to my lawyer's office. At this point, I was shaking and wanted to cry. How long had the GPS been there? How long has Fred been following me without me knowing. Was he watching me at that moment? Is he going to add another one?

You called my husband to meet me at the lawyer's office and told him everything. At the office, I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to run away and not look back. I was terrified and I felt so violated. Knowing I was being watched for who knows how long, with everything we had gathered, my lawyer was able to get a temporary restraining that same day. Thank God. We are currently going through the process of getting a restraining order while I will have to go to court and see Fred again. That sucks. My lawyer says the process can be long and draining, but it's something I need to do to get for my own safety. I got a bit scared and had my husband's car also checked for anything. Thankfully, nothing was found in his car. I started feeling watched at home, so I had my whole house turned

upside down looking for anything. Maybe Fred had placed there. Again, thankfully nothing was found. I've told neighbors about what we found and to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious. I've also started my safety training for handling a gun and shooting and still trying to get my CCW, but it can be a long process. Thank you again for everyone who has given me advice and I'll keep you updated if creepy Fred tries anything. Wow. Wow. That sucks that she has to do all of that. But I think, I mean, you said it from the beginning. There was probably something on her car. I mean, And I do know, I did know that they like to hide those. Yeah.

You can't just like, oh, what's this? Well, and the hard part is too, like, this wasn't an air tag. So if, like, if someone places an air tag on your car and you have an iPhone, your iPhone notices. It would alert you. The two following you. And we'll say, like, unknown air tag, is this yours? It even does it with AirPods pros if they're in the case.

Oh, yeah, mine will be like, left behind. You left them behind. Or, like, if I have Justin's, like, in my bag because I borrowed them and I'm driving all over town like running errands. It will be like Apple device following you. Is this yours? It'll even prompt me with the AirPods. Because people were leaving one air pod behind as like a trick.

So Apple has like seemingly put in measures that help protect people from their devices getting used inappropriately. Yeah, but this wasn't an air attack. No. And it was clearly. why are these a thing? Like, why are these being made? It's really crappy. And they're not, like, looking here, they're not even expensive.

Like, you can get a tracking cube like this for 2495. There's no way. What did you search? Tracking Cube? Small tracking cube magnetic. Nice. And there's so many. It's literally there's a product called Cube Tracker.

One year battery life, 4G, LTE, real-time tracking. 7499. So he just goes in every year and replaces his cube. Magnetic car GPS tracker. One year battery. Like, there's multiple of these things on the market. And why does somebody need that? I mean, I get it if you're going to like put it on your car as a safety feature.

Like if you have a brand new car and it's prone to getting car jacked. That's what the air tags are for. But then people can disable the air tags. So it's like they do, they have products like this. But that's the hard part. Like, there's so many products on the market that are meant for good. It's meant for good and then the evil, they find the evil. Yeah. Just like AI, but that's a whole other topic. Yeah. I just saw, though, that companies are like scaling back their AI because it hasn't made them any money. It's like just been a huge loss.

Good. That's stupid. I'm, I hate AI. I don't understand it. Like, I think in certain regards it can be used to increase your productivity. Like, I know someone that uses it constantly to help with their schedules or meal plans or things like that. It's also really bad for the environment. And there's that. But then some people will argue and say, well, if you eat cow, if you eat red meat, that's way worse than AI. No, I do. I think AI is the worst. But yeah, eating meat is also terrible for the environment. Yeah.

Factory farming is a big contributor. Listen, I was a vegetarian for eight years. I tried my best. Wow. That is a big commitment. It was. See, I don't, I'm off the cow for the most part. Not I'm off the cow.

I'm off the cow, except like around my period, all I crave is a cheeseburger. So I have an occasional burger. That's fine. Dude, Habit Burger, you should sponsor me because those little grilled onions on those burgers. Ooh, they're good. I, yeah. I'm really hungry right now. But, yeah, I mean, seemingly like positive update.

That's the last update we have. Oh. So I expected another one. I'm not going to lie. O.P. hasn't posted anything in... I wonder if she, like, just shouldn't be sharing information about what's going on as well, is that? And a lawyer might have told her that because O.P. hasn't shared any new information in three months. She's probably just going through it.

Yeah, but, I mean, restraining order was granted. Yeah. And then lawyer said, you're going to have to go to court. And that's just a process. And that is really hard. Like, imagine being so scared of someone and then you have to go face them in court. Like, that's horrific. I remember when I was working at one of my mental health facility jobs, I had boiling coffee thrown on me. Yay, fun. And the police showed up.

They took my report. And they were like, do you want to press charges? And where did they throw it on you? Like, all over my arm and, like, my, like, my, like, neck and chest. And I was wearing, like, a sweater and, like, still got, like, second-degree birds. No, that's, it's, yeah. It's really hot. I mean, it was boiling water.

Yeah. And I remember them just being, like, you'll have to go to court. and like she might show up to court, but like she's, you know, obviously a resident of this facility. Like the chances of her showing up aren't even good. They're like, you might not even want to press charges. And that, like, they really discouraged me not to. And I do understand that because it's like, oh, I would have had to deal with her again.

I would have had to face her again and all this stuff. And I'm like, at the time I was younger, like in grad school, didn't really know what to do. And in my head, I'm like, well, these police are telling me not to press charges. And like, yeah, I don't want to see Janet again. Like, I guess I better not. But in this regard, like, this is someone who has truly tormented her. And I can't even imagine how difficult that would be.

I think just like, that sucks that she has to deal with this. She didn't ask for any of this. She's just like, like, you either get stalked or you have to go through all of this. Yeah. Added salt in the wound or another layer of trauma that you did not need and is not your fault. But are getting put through. But you have to deal with it. Especially when the husband was not on board at first

Because then there's this added layer of like I mean the original title My old stalker is back And my husband is making me feel like I'm the crazy one Like your person who's supposed to believe you Love you protect you Isn't doing any of those things I would love to know what he was like thinking in his brain

To be like this is a good idea to like pretend I don't give I don't care And that's so strange because in the background He's doing all this detective work into him So it just goes against what he's saying because he does believe her. Yeah. So just tell her. Tell her.

Yeah. What? I know. Don't try to play it. Cool, you guys. Like if your partner is out there and you just be on the same page, like I hear you. Yeah. What can I do to support you?

Like even if you don't know what to do because I find like me and Justin sometimes like I'll be venting. I'll be so stressed. I'll have this big issue. And he'll try to like give solutions. but then it just like makes me feel worse. In those times, like we've kind of come up with this like strategy because of things I've learned. And it's like, do you want help, a hug or support? Like, what do you want?

And like if he'll start to ask me that now and I'm like, I just want to feel like I'm being heard. Yeah, just listen to me. That's it. Like, that's it. Sometimes there's not really a solution. It's just like this is just, it is what it is. Yeah, like that's super shitty babe. Like I'm so sorry you're going through that.

Do you want to go get a burger? Like a nice little distraction. Are you on the cow this week? Yeah. And also like, maybe I'm wrong, but I just feel like if they had investigated together, it would have maybe like strengthened their relationship as well. If they were like doing all this work together. So I'm just confused by him.

I think that absolutely would have strengthened their bond. Because then it's like she feels supported. She feels hurt. She's got an ally in this fight. Because like, I mean, the main thing was is like, I have nobody in her original post. My friends aren't close to him. I don't want to tell them. I don't want it to get back to Fred.

Don't have a relationship with my parents. My husband, like, her husband really just, like, added that extra layer for no reason. Absolutely. Damn. Don't do what he did. O.P., if you're out there listening, I hope all is well. If you can't update again because of legal stuff, totally understand. Feel free to send me a direct message on Reddit.

But I really hope you're doing well and are safe. and Fred is no more. Yeah. This is not your traditional baby trap. It is going to be a wild ride, though. Okay, you ready? Yep. Am I the asshole for calling out my kids future stepmom for treating me like a surrogate?

Future stepmom. I, 29 female, dated a guy Joe, 30 male, for three months before he left me to go back to his ex, Kim, 30 female. Right after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant, and now I'm at 24 weeks. I let him know, and he was ecstatic. Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally. And he has always wanted to be a father. Getting back together was out of the question for both of us, so he's still with his girlfriend. Wow.

I get it now. Uh-huh. Joe was only allowed at the initial appointment because of COVID, and we found out I was having twins. According to Joe, when he told Kim, she had a mental breakdown about infertility and wanted to talk to me. I met them at their house, and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children's stepmother. She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to do formula feed, so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy, and one girl and that she wanted the kid to call her mama since they would be calling me mommy. I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body and left.

Oh my God. Also, they're just dating. Like, they're not engaged. Like, you're not. I want a boy and a girl. Doesn't work like that, sweetheart. God. Okay, cool. Yeah, I'll make it happen. Yeah, let me just fucking, this is not an easy bake. Do you want to deliver the babies? Home birth. With my hands going up, weirdo. Oh, okay. And you're already dealing with the fact that you had just this breakup and you're pregnant. Yeah. And now you're dealing with the X he went back to.

Yeah. This is the least ideal co-parenting situation you could possibly have. This is like, what's that movie with Seth Rogen, knocked up? It's like a drunken one night stand. They have to raise a kid together. Yeah, it's just not ideal. Quite the trio. Seriously.

Kim continued to be overbearing and texting me every day about my eating habits, exercise habits, and bitching about how her job wouldn't let her take maternity leave. At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history, which wasn't relevant. She shares no DNA with these children. Why do your genetics matter? I don't know. When it came time for my 20-week level two scan, they allowed.

me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party. I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then she put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins, quote, the non-traditional way and how blessed she was. We are expecting. We. I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. Then she thought, through a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn't even invited. Oh my God.

Wait, but she didn't even want to know yet. No. She wanted to keep it a surprise until her gender reveal party. She wanted to be surprised. Oh, this is just mean. This is cold, hearted. This is just weird, but mean. She's just, she just looks at her like an oven.

She literally looks at her like a surrogate, like a true surrogate. Like, I'm just, I'm paying you to have my children for me. She also announced that she's having a baby shower. I commented on her post and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, and the kids weren't hers, and that Joe didn't have any claim or custody of the kids until they were born. I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seen either of them

until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner. He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying, I'm an asshole, and her mother even called and insisted, I give her one of my babies, like this is the parent trap. Oh my gosh. So. The mom's crazy too. It doesn't fall far from the tree, as they say.

So am I the asshole? No. Definitely not. No. I would be getting a lawyer immediately, running for the hills. Like this is scary. I get I've watched too many episodes of crime junkie. and I used to fall asleep to watch to watching like ID Discovery Channel, the Crime Show channel.

So this is where my mind goes in the first place. But I feel like this Kim lady is going to let her have the babies and then like off her somehow. Yeah, it's weird. It's like some super strong manipulation. I don't even know. I don't know how you even react to that. But I guess one positive thing is she dodged a big bullet with Joe. Yeah, he sounds like he's not, granted, they're not dating anymore.

He's dating Kim, so he's probably going to have Kim's back. But still, the fact that he's dating someone like Kim is like. A red flag in itself. Right. It's weird. And then the mom, you're going to come in and say. It's so, so unusual. This is your daughter who's dating a guy who knocks someone else up.

Like, they're looking at this like this is their miracle. It's the perfect opportunity for them to get these babies. But how as you as a mother, like in your right mind, do you feel entitled to these kids to basically say, oh, yes, you should give my daughter one of your babies to make the situation right? Yeah. No. What? Yeah. It's fucking nuts.

I don't know how you feel that sense of ownership. It's entitlement. This lady is just acting like an entitled bitch. So when you have a baby showers before the babies are born. Yeah. So if you were to actually have a surrogate, how do you have a baby shower then? You still have a baby shower. It's just your friends and family.

Basically, a baby shower is a party for you when you're pregnant, so your friends and family can give you gifts and everything before the baby comes. So when the baby does arrive, you're super prepared. You have all the diapers, the car seat, whatever, you know, gifts they give you. I think from what I've seen with people that have surrogates is you just have a typical baby shower as you would. except, you know, you're not pregnant. Some people invite their surrogate there to make them included. I think it just depends.

To overstep and... Yeah. Yeah. Top comment. Not the asshole. O.P., I'm not even being dramatic in any way when I say, get a lawyer now. Keep records of everything and whatever you do, do not allow yourself to be alone with Kim. Almost none of Kim's behavior is okay. In fact, it's disturbing. Block phone numbers, file a police report for harassment if you have to keep yourself and your children safe. Well, and what's sad about is you want your kids to have a relationship with their father. Yeah. You don't feel, I mean, I wouldn't feel safe having him go and stay with Kim.

No, not at all. Like that's some creepy. And you know what kind of things Kim's going to implant in them in the sense, like the ideas and the mentality surrounding their mom then? Yeah, I mean, I've had step parents and I think it is a really, really difficult role to be a step parent. but I've had stepparents that are so toxic and I mean just talking shit about my mom in front of me or my other parent and it's just it's baffling like at the end of the day you're a step parent that's their mom you cannot talk shit about someone's mom in front of them especially a young child it's fucked up other top comment and Kim's mother suggesting they split the twins between parents what the fuck

Yeah. O.P. was right when she said she wasn't being treated as a mother, but the surrogate. I would go so far as to say the twins are seen as objects as well. O.P. needs to lawyer up and play hardball about custody. Kim's not going to get better here. She has people enabling her behavior. 100%. I'm so curious what Joe's take is. I wish we had some information on Joe. I know more. This other comment, it says under his eye, which I was actually thinking about this. There's a show and a book. called Handmaiden's Tale. And it's basically about this alternate, like, society in the future where men are basically barren. And they round up these fertile women from the public and force them to breed. And...

I remember that. Yeah. And it's just the most disturbing show. Yeah. So, yeah, it literally kind of feels like that. And this gets really scary here. This actually makes me wonder if it wasn't the intention when the... the ex and psycho g broke up yeah three months to try and make a baby with someone else is a lot

cheaper than IVF or surrogacy that's crazy oh my god and that the ex gives no shits about being involved and is happy to send psycho future stepmom yeah i mean from the post it seems like they kind of got together and then fell apart real quick it was very convenient very very convenient. Oh, I do not like this story at all. That's like a movie. It is. This is literally the plot of a movie. And I hope this one for her in her real

life has a happier ending than how Hollywood would take it. God, the edit she gives. I'm definitely getting a lawyer ASAP. Y'all have scared this shit out of me but I'm happy you did. And another update. I never considered this could have happened on purpose.

We used condoms because I do not react well to hormonal birth control. And I had to wait to get a non-hormonal IUD because of other medical issues. The Thursday I posted this, I went to the police and they stated that there was nothing they could do because a crime hadn't been committed. In my state, orders of protection are criminal or family, so I was able to get one against Joe. On Friday, I did get a lawyer and they let me know in my state, there was nothing I could do as far as custody before the babies are born. So I'll be leaving my state soon to ensure that this isn't my baby's home state and I can't be charged with anything. Smart. Yeah.

And at the end of the day, Joe could be a great guy. She doesn't sound like she's going to keep the kids from him, you know, if he's going to be a good dad. But at the end of the day, like, better to be safe than sorry. 100%. Like, you're, this is your life. And if this fucking girlfriend is going to get dangerous, run. Right. And at this point, your loyalties to the kids.

Your loyalty is not to Joe. Yeah, no. It's you and your body. These babies aren't even here yet. They, I mean, so many variables could have. happen. And at the end of the day, you just need to, like, as a pregnant woman, you do not need to deal without stress. It could cause so many issues. Yeah, and you're this deep into pregnancy and you just feel used. An incubator. Yeah. Like an incubator. However, someone sent this post to

Kim and she came to my job, damaged my car, and broke a bunch of office windows. I work with kids, so she was arrested for not just the criminal damage and trespassing, but all. I'm not just the criminal damage and trespassing, but also child endangerment. So hopefully that works in my favor. Also, if Joe did it on purpose, I don't think Kim knew because she was screaming at me about how I stole her life and everything I had was supposed to be hers. Interesting. Kim's a psycho.

Kim has some issues for sure. Oh my God. Definitely, definitely some issues. And I guess like if they didn't do it on purpose, yeah, can you imagine? Like, we broke up for three months and you slept with someone else and we realized we made a big mistake and got back together. And, you know, a couple weeks down the road, you found out that the girl was pregnant. Like, that would be terrible.

That honestly makes more sense, though, I think. Yeah. Than them doing it on purpose. Yeah. I think doing it on purpose is great for the movie, great for the drama. Yeah, but not real life. It doesn't seem that plausible. Right.

But I can see what it would feel like to have that perfect someone. And then they're, so now they're pregnant with someone else, but you're back together. And you feel like, oh, that should be me. That should have been my spot. Especially if you're dealing with fertility problems. Right. You do feel like this was my happy, this was supposed to be my happy ending, my happy life. And now she has it.

And she has it. And she has it. Yeah. And then her now going through these, you know, these safety measures, which are so justified, obviously. but you're like, in her mind, she's probably like, she's trying to steal this from me. This was my one shot and she's stealing it from me. I guess there's probably better ways to go about it where you might actually be able to participate and be more of that active role like you're trying to be.

Yeah. And I think, you know, you can have a good relationship with your stepchildren at the end of the day, but that only works if you are on good terms with the mom and you're a team and co-parenting together. Co-parenting is hard though. Not everyone can do it. I mean, if this kind of interaction continues, it's going to be very, very tough on those kids. It's not going to turn out well.

No, it's not the healthiest home life for any of, anyone, any of them. Popcorn, who? You? Me? Am I the asshole for cleaning out the fridge without telling my husband? My DH brought home a metal box that he checks on. often during the day when it's in the fridge. When asked about it, he said it contained freshly pickled olives. His friend Jason got from his uncle's farm and wanted DH to keep till he gets back from his

business trip. I had no problem with him keeping it safe at the bottom of the fridge. D.H. always asked me to be cautious with the box and not open it as it'd be rude to touch other people's stuff. Yesterday, I decided to clean out the fridge, which took me about two hours from unplugging the fridge, emptying all of the items, grocery vegetables, containers, and washing and cleaning out the inside of it, letting it settle before plugging it in again. I took the box my husband brought out of the fridge and placed it on the kitchen island alongside the containers. While I was working, I received a video call via WhatsApp for my husband, while at work feeling bored asking what I was doing.

I showed him I was cleaning out the fridge and he suddenly freaked out and asked about the metal box. I was confused, so I told him to calm down and I showed him where the box was. He got mad telling me I should not have cleaned out the fridge nor even touched the box without telling him. I again tried to ask him to calm down as I saw no big deal about it. His precious box was safe and sound, but he went on a rant about how the box needed to be put back inside the fridge, ASAP, and told me to pull him.

plug the fridge in right then, but I couldn't because it was still wet and I wasn't finished cleaning the other parts. Apparently, I pissed him off by stalling and he hung up and 30 minutes later he came home and pitched a hissy fit saying I should have picked a time where he was home to clean out the fridge so he could take the box somewhere else to keep it cool. I said, so what? It was sitting out of the fridge for barely two hours and olives can stand being outside the fridge for a longer period. He said, I said I don't get it and took the box and wanted to leave with it. I asked where he was taking it and he said he needed to go back to work and had no time to explain. I shrugged this whole thing

off, but he came back with it in the evening and put it inside the fridge, then complained about me cleaning the fridge without telling him and acting dismissive of his opinions. I argued that what opinions could he have on cleaning out the fridge? He argued back saying he promised Jason he'd keep his olives in good condition and I should have just told him end of story. I wonder if I'm messed up. He usually doesn't get that mad unless I've messed up and I think that I have. Is that the end? So edit. What the fuck is in the box? I'm picturing body parts. Okay. I'm picturing body parts. I was just going to say what body parts are in this. I'm over here thinking like sperm. Drugs. From our other story. I'm like sperm. Yeah. No sperm has to be kept. It's Jason's sperm.

I know. I know that it doesn't make sense, but that's just where I'm at right now. I'm dead ass. I'm like, what body parts is this? Yeah. Like, who freaks the fuck out that they're, and he checks the box multiple times a day?

Yeah, but isn't it like the movie Rat Race where they're trying to keep that heart cool enough to make it all the way through the whole movie? I forgot that movie existed. Oh, my God, I don't know if I've seen it. Oh, this is the first. It takes place in Minnesota, doesn't it? I don't know.

that much. Rat race? All I know is there's some heart in some like makeshift cooler and they're trying to keep it alive. I know. It sounds really, really familiar to where I feel like I've probably seen it, but I'm not sure.

But why is he checking a box of olives multiple times a day? There's something crazy. But like why would they keep body parts? It's kidneys. But then why would you not tell? Okay, what are the updates? So this is a husband. Like, why would you not?

tell. Okay, so edit, first of all, I'm aware that D.H is acting overproductive of the box, but he always acts like that whenever someone comes over and asks him to keep an item safe like furniture or car parts. And second of all, no, I haven't seen those olives myself, and I haven't opened the box because I didn't even think I had to. But D.H. tends to be overprotective of his friend's belonging, so I didn't give it much thought. How? Another edit. How do you resist? Because many were wondering, yes, I unplug the fridge before, cleaning out since I did heavy cleaning. You can see that it is a common method. Just Google it. If you're curious, I do it all the time. And to give some info, the metal box does look like

a container of some sort, but DH calls it box. So I didn't think much different. I want to know what's in the box. So I think that the edits are clearly responding to the comments, which we don't know what they are yet. So someone goes, question, what does your husband do for work? Sanitation. construction, garbage transportation. O.P. replies back, no. He works at a marketing company as an assistant. And is a serial killer.

Dexter. Dexter. Someone replies back, please open the box. Yes. Although I am sure he will have changed whatever was on the inside when he took the box with him. Fuck. Someone goes, I think she opened the box and he was standing in the doorway.

That's what I'll continue to think until she says anything else. And that had better be her telling us what's in the box or I will lose my mind. Someone goes, marketing company, stand down, everyone. It's just cocaine. Yeah. True. Which I would not be surprised if it's drugs. Do you have to keep cocaine in the fridge?

Yeah, exactly. Why would you freak out about cocaine not being in the fridge? No chance. No, no, no, but I'm sure, like, for him, it's just like, if it's in the fridge, don't touch it. I know where it is. Don't touch it. Because he doesn't want her to open it up.

But he freaked out of her unplugging the fridge. Don't even bring it home. Yeah. He was, he was like, you unplugged the fridge. I know, which also, like, I guess if it was cocaine and you didn't want your wife to find it, why not, like, stick it. Anywhere else. Under your bed.

It has to be something else. What else needs to be in the fridge? Or he's just fucking nuts about protecting other people's shit. Like, oh, my. God. Morgan's like, take these strawberries. I'll eat them in a couple of days and I'm just like, no matter what, I'm going in from the studio every five minutes to make sure the fridge is still on. Those are Blugget Strawberries! Yeah, another comment. Info, have you actually confirmed that it is really olives in there?

Because it's all kind of sounds suspicious. No, because why would I? Since husband said it contained olives. Honestly, I don't know why some people think this is weird. Husband can be a little too dramatic and overpresent. protective of others' belongings, and since it belongs to his friend, then why bother looking inside? It's not like he took it from a stranger. What's wrong with her? She's very trusting. I'm pissed.

So she got literally like almost a thousand downvotes on that comment. Good. And someone replies back and goes, seriously, stop whatever you're doing and go look in that box. And if you're shit posting for fun, I don't care. pretend you open the box and make up something good yeah god this is fucking crazy what's in the box what just makes me mad is that she's like why are you going to red it and asking people for their advice and you're not realizing the fact that this is really questionable hi holly like this is so questionable like what if you're if you if anyone's going to freak out that much about something in a

secret box and you were like, there's something bad in the box. And you're like, why would I look? Like, yeah. No one drives home from work to take the box with them back to work and then brings the box back home at the end of the day. With olives. For real. What kind of olives are they? Are they fucking gold? No one does that. Maybe maybe they've been, maybe they've been ripened for 100 years or not ripened. What's it called? What's it called fermented? Fermented. Yeah. That is true. Thank you. Pickled. Pickled. Pickled. Pickled.

Pickled. Pickled. They did say pickled. Yeah. They did say pickled. For a hundred years. Maybe that's it. But still, I was still like in a box.

Let's go with that so we all could just sleep tonight and not be serious. I don't know how you can like literally be that uncrasy to like not look in the box. I would have looked in the box from the get-go. I would have said you're not keeping your friend's box in our fridge unless I know. Exactly. Same. I'll get my own fridge. There's not a goddamn chance.

I would have. let that box come in my fridge without knowing what's inside. Is this the end? You just close your computer. I kind of like that though. It's like a mic drop. Everyone's going to be left wondering what is in the box. And that's all I have for you friends. I can't believe you've stuck it out to this far. What is that eight hours? You must be training for that 10 hour episode that's coming very, very soon. Not at a million yet, but maybe when I wake up tomorrow. Thank you guys for all your and I hope you enjoyed hearing these crimes from Reddit again. Thanks, guys.