Two In The Think Tank - 01 - "Wig Van"

Episode Date: June 5, 2013

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Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Okay, so this is the first recording of the new Alistair and Andy Trombley Virtual Podcast Project. Alistair and Andy Trombley Virtual. The N-A-A-A-P-P. And just for... Oh, you forgot T-B. T-B.

Yeah. And just... The new Andy and Alistair project, Trombley Virtual. Yeah. George William. George William. And also, just in case somebody's listening to this in the future and documenting our lives. Our lives.

Our lives. Just so that, you know, this is not Andrew Trombley Virtual, my brother. This is just Andrew Matthews, but we're calling him Andrew Trommblay Virtual because I just thought it might bother him a little bit. It doesn't. Yeah? Yeah. In the same sense that you're okay with me thinking of you as my mum. I'm okay with you thinking of me as your bro.

You're getting very defensive for a person who's not bothered by this at all. I'm not defensive at all. Okay, that's fine. Why do you feel the need to answer me? If anything, I'm offensive. Yeah? Yeah. I'm on the front foot.

I'm taking the fight to you. I know, but isn't an offense the best defense? You're right. And so you're being the best defensive that you could be yes so I think I think I stand correct yeah in a way when somebody attacks you the best defense is is not caring about it at all, like being completely immune to it. Yeah. So not giving a shit is actually being very defensive. Yeah, that's true. If you really don't care, you can't help but be defensive.

Yeah, you're... That's true, but that's only true in conversation and not, say, like a war or something like that the best defense is not sort of just ignoring it maybe it is yeah well they'll stop bombing if you just don't pay them any attention but imagine if there was a you know people invaded your country and you just pretended that they hadn't and just went about your business okay well that's our first sketch idea we have got to come up with ten sketch ideas so the first sketch idea is that there's people bombing a place and they're like yeah and the president gets up and he gives a speech and he's like my mother always used to

say that if a bully comes and tries to have a go at you you know and you know attacks you just ignore them because they'll go away and so as a nation we will rise up and ignore this imminent threat and yeah just ignore it guys just ignore it it's not Just ignore it. It's not happening. Anyway, I'm going to the beach on the weekend. What are you guys doing? Yeah? Shopping.

Great. Cool. I'm the president. I'm the president. I'm in my bunker. Ignoring it. Yeah? I'm in my bunker ignoring it yeah that's one idea that's one idea okay so we're gonna come up with more ideas um oh this is the best way to come up with ideas is to say okay we've got to come up with more ideas we've got to come up with more ideas and then just pause pause yeah yeah well yeah you're right I guess you're right Andy Andy. All right, let's do that then.

We've got to come up with ideas. All right, let's turn this motherfucker off. It'd be great if the Prime Minister did that. He's like, my fellow Australians, one second, I'll just turn my phone off. There must be somebody in charge of turning her phone off, making sure she doesn't even have her phone on her, maybe. Maybe the Prime Minister of Australia does not carry her telephone. Oh, because then she could be tracked.

Yeah. Maybe people want to track her. What if she gets kidnapped? Maybe she wants people to track her. Oh. Do you think there's people who have a tracker fetish? Who are just like,

get one of those people with a really good nose after me. There are people who want to track people, but then there are also other people out there who want to be tracked. And the trick is hooking those people up. Fortunately, given their obsession with trackers, they're able to find each other.

Yeah, well, the trackers are definitely able to find the people. And the trouble is, how do they refine their searches to only people who want to be tracked? There must be something in the way they step in the in the desert that that gives it away there's um okay because let's say there's two diverging paths people walking tracks yeah and then he has to pick which person he tracks he goes this guy wants it more all right is this a this a sketch? Yeah. Where we have like an Australian crime show, right? Mm-hmm. But do you know how in like Crocodile Dundee and everything,

they always have like an Aboriginal tracker? Yeah. So like it's a completely modern crime show. Mm-hmm. But with an Aboriginal tracker. Yeah. Who like is like in an urban environment and also tracking people via like their electronic correspondence and stuff yeah he's just got amazing instincts

somebody would actually buy this for a channel i think there we go like like and they would almost just call it tracker yeah tracker yeah but like what would be the the modern equivalents of like a bit of broken twig and uh a strand of hair yeah well it'd be like a like a elite you know a discarded biro or maybe it's it's just like corporate crimes or whatever like at the highest level but then they go into the office and the and the like, oh, there's a bit of broken twig over here. And there's always a bit of broken twig and there's some footprints that show that Buffalo have been disturbed just between the photocopier

and the printer. And then he goes, all right, he's that way. No, wait. He's that way. Or, wait, what is he, like, he's tracking, like, all the dodgy paperwork and stuff. Yeah. And he turns between two pages in, like, a big ledger full of numbers and there's a broken twig in there.

And he's like, oh, somebody's been here. Yeah. And then he tastes it. Is this racist? I don't know. Well, I think some of the parts. You sort of get a bit quiet when I'm going on a racist thing. Yeah. And you contribute less to the idea. Yeah. And that's how't know. Well, I think some of the parts... You sort of get a bit quiet when I'm going on a racist thing. Yeah.

And you contribute less to the idea. Yeah. And that's how I know. Well, it's when... Yeah. A little bit. I think it's satire. Yeah.

Racist satire. Yeah. I'm satirising Aboriginals. Yeah. It's... Fucking finally lampooning those. I'm satirising Aboriginals Yeah it's Fucking Finally lampooning those The indigenous peoples Of this land

Yeah but Lampooning Lampooning Which You know They used those A lampoon The little lances

The aboriginals Actually invented the lampoon The lampoon But they They had a thing For They had a stick In my mind You know how they have like I think for some reason I imagine a lampoon. The lampoon. But they had a thing for, they had a stick. In my mind,

you know how they have like, I think for some reason I imagine a lampoon and a lance is the same thing or a harpoon. Yeah. Is a lampoon like a harpoon?

Like a lampoon, like a lampoon in my heart. That's a Jebediah song. Is it? It wasn't. It was harpoon. Oh, yeah. I was lampooning it.

Oh, that was good, actually. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. No, in,, yeah. I was lampooning it. Oh, that was good, actually. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. When you lampoon an animal, it goes, oh, you got me. You got me. Which is the same thing it does when you harpoon it. Harpoon it. Yeah.

Got me. Got me. Fair. Fair cop. Fair cop. I reckon I got the shit end of the didge today. That was an Australianism I invented the other day. Because you know when people say,

getting the shit end of the stick? Yeah. They're getting the shit end of the didgeridoo. Is there a shit end of the didgeridoo? Is there a shit end to a stick? Yeah. Unless you've been actually sticking it in some shit. Well, I sort of imagine that you have. It's like a stick

that you somehow use for dislodging shit or poking shit. Inside someone's ass or something. Or outside someone's ass. Wherever shit lies, it is capable of being dislodged. In what situation does shit need to be poked out with a stick? If

the Prime Minister loses the election and can no longer stay at Kirribilli House, have they been dislodged? Because they call it the lodge, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, they have. They get dislodged and someone comes in with a big stick and sort of

gets it between the Prime Minister and the wall and sort of levers them out. There we go. She just sort of just gets it between the prime minister and the wall and the wall and just sort of leaves them out there we go there we go she just sort of rolls out of the house onto the and then somebody picks ornamental driveway someone takes a a coals plastic bag yeah and sort of turns it inside out and then just picks her up and then just discards her in the bin. And then she's been discarded. And at the same time, they have to reach into her pockets and remove all her business cards that say Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia. And they cut them.

And then a little phone number. Yeah. And an address. Yeah. And maybe a funky logo. Yeah. Does Australia have a logo? Yeah. It's that, it was two maybe a funky logo. Yeah. Does Australia have a logo? Yeah.

It's that... Those two animals and a shield. Is that our logo? I think so. I guess it is. It's our emblem. It's not very... Easy to...

You know. It's not very emblematic. Yeah. As far as emblems go. It's not like the IBM one. Yeah. Yeah. That's iconic.

Well, they didn't really... I don't know, like... When's the last time they let a designer have a go at it? I wonder if that, yeah. We should. We should renew the coat of arms. Yeah. Well, you know why they chose both those animals, right? Kangaroo and the emu?

Because they're Australian. Yes. But also, apparently, because neither of them and the emu. Because they're Australian. Yes, but also, apparently, because neither of them have the ability to walk backwards. Or hop backwards. Yeah. Or fly backwards, actually. The emu also is the only bird

that can't fly backwards. Yeah. Well, it's one of the... I think it's one of many that can't fly backwards. I think, like, the hummingbirds is the only one who's capable of it. Okay, so it's a good thing we don't have the hummingbird on the coat of arms. Yeah, because it will... It would have gone through slowly eliminating things that can go backwards.

No hummingbirds, guys. Don't put that on there. Yeah, we can't. All right. Big trucks. You can probably hear one in the recording now. Big trucks, you know. With that beeping sound.

Because that would just be irritating, having that on the emblem all the time. Yeah, and they'd be constantly reversing and running over people pushing trolleys. Crabs, they kind of walk to the side, which is... It's kind of good, but they can't really go forwards either. Yeah. Do we want to set ourselves up as a very lateral kind of country? Are we capable of a lot of... Come on, we're not bloody...

We're not Singapore. Oh, are they natural? Well, they don't have any natural resources, so they have to... Think laterally? They have to think very laterally, and they have to get a lot of their export. It's got to be creativity.

Yeah, Latvia, that's probably a very lateral country. Yeah, their emblem is a crab. So, the Latvian crab. And then you don't even need a shield on the... That wouldn't really be a coat of arms, that would be a coat of claws. Yeah, that's true. And legs. Pincers.

Arms and legs. Pinc well and legs arms and legs pincers and legs and legs and um but then you wouldn't need a shield because of its exoskeleton so you could just sort of lay it it's just a crab yeah it's just stand it up yeah just or take a photo of it from above or draw it from above and then just make it look like it's kind of standing on its back end somehow it It's propped up. Yeah, propped up. It's arms. And then just in big, bold letters, it just says Latvia.

That's how you do an emblem. You could probably do the same thing for Latthuania. Yeah, of course. Lathuania. Lathuania. Is that? Oh, yeah. Lithuania. Lit-hu-an-ia. Lat-hu-an-ia. Is that? Oh, yeah. Lit-hu-an-ia. Lit-hu-an-ia.

Oh, lat. They're very literal, and the Latvians are very lateral. Yeah, and so, obviously, the Lit-hu-an-ians emblem would be a very literal animal. Crab. Well, obviously a crab, yeah. Or any kind of crustacean that doesn't have the ability to lie. Yeah. Or use metaphor.

Can animals lie? Damn. Yeah, well, okay, sorry. I kind of thought you were going to say lie, it was a very i was in my mind like sorry that i haven't come up with an answer yet yeah it's just that i was performing a very different search in my brain yeah yeah lie down i have an answer immediately many can i don't know if there's any that can't see can you trick google you You type in, can animals lie? Right?

Yeah. And because it's a homograph, lie and lie, Google will return the wrong. And then you can be like, Google, I meant lie as in lie. And then Google will be like, oh, sorry. Yeah. Well, did you just say homograph? Homograph. Isn't it like either homophone or homonym? No, homonym is something that just sounds the same.

And so it's homophone. No, homonym is something different. Homonym is when you have two words, different words that mean the same thing. Homophone is when you have two different words that sound the same. So you're right. But homograph is when you have two words that are spelt the same thing. Homophone is when you have two different words that sound the same. So you're right. But homograph is when you have two words that are spelt the same but sound different. Okay, but homograph... So lead and lead are homographs.

But lie and lie... Lie and lie are both homographs and homophones. Yeah. Oh, there was another one of that. Another one of... Just as a side note, I thought about a thing for my... Because I'm trying to find a way of making that to...

A side note to the really strong theme that has run through the podcast so far. I think some of the emblem stuff has been pretty good. Yeah? Yeah. There's definitely a sketch in people trying to come up with a coat of arms yeah absolutely so maybe that's sketch number two yeah coming up with the australian coat of arms yeah or a coat of arms yeah all right um so then oh yeah the thing i was gonna going to say was the thing about the...

You know how I was saying there's... How many times the word ass features in Assassin? I know you were saying about that. Yeah. Everybody, Al was saying about that. I was saying about that. How many times is it, Al? It's two.

Two times. Ass, ass, in. But I think the only thing I've come up with that's a bit of a joke for it is that, of course, in Australia that's pronounced ass-assin. You might not have understood what word I was talking about until I pronounced the Australian-UK pronunciation, which is ass-assin. Which, ass-ass-ian. The Australian-UK pronunciation. Yes. pronunciation yeah which is ass arson which ass arsian the australian uk pronunciation yeah do you think people in uk say the australia uk pronunciation uh as they would say in our country the united kingdom or also in australia yeah say ars, arson arsian

they would say mahoun, mahounen really? the other day this Scottish girl said like moral conundrum yes and I went oh my god that's so nice she also said dud Dudley Moore.

Did she? Dudley Moore. Dudley, Dudley Moore. Like, I was just like, ah, look at that rolled R. She's like, this is a genuine way of speaking. I'm so distracted by your R's. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, that's great. I can't take my ears off your R's.

I can't take my ears off your arse. I can't take my ears off your arse. It is a way of objectifying people. Oh, yeah. But instead of treating them as an object, you're treating them as a sound. I just regard Scottish people as just a big rolled R on legs. Yeah. I'm up here, thanks. a big rolled R on legs.

Yeah. Oh, just... I'm up here, thanks. Yeah. I'm here if you focus not on the middle distance, but if you focus on me. Stop listening so intently. Open your eyes.

Yeah. Stop listening so intently. My eyes are over here. I do have a physical form you know I do I'm not just a sonic experience

I am I can be soaked in through other senses just saying I think you're enjoying yourself too much Alistair and I'm going too much to the side here. To the side or to the back. You leaned back there.

You threw your head. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. I know, but I was yelling. Oh. I was yelling. I am, you know, and so I got it in my ear. I'm pretty sure things are doing okay. Oh, great.

Yeah. That's great. Maybe you're a bit further back. Whoa. Maybe I'll turn you up a little bit. Thanks, Al. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah? Can. Thanks, Al. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah?

Can you hear me now? Oh, yeah. Can you hear me now? So, okay. Ear me now. Ear me now. Okay, so we've got three sketches now. What's the third one?

The third one. Talking to a Scottish person. And then, yeah, objectifying their... Their sound. Their sound. Yeah. Well, yeah, we're... Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, I used to be really into computers. Did you really? For a while, yeah. Because I think you said the same thing. Yeah. It was for a while where you were like... I just spent all my time reading about the new Pentium 3s.

Well, that's the thing. I don't think I did any research. No? I think I just spent a lot of money on it. So if spending a lot of money on a computer makes you into it, then I was into it. But how were you knowing what new graphics card to get? I asked the guy at the shop and my mate Tom. And they just told you, yeah, this is what you want to get right here.

Yeah. And you were just trying to get right here. Yeah. And you were just like trying to get the best. Yeah, I really was. Like I worked really hard for one summer. The only time I had a summer job and I worked in a shitty factory. Yeah. Building circuit boards.

And then I had like $3,000 and I spent it all on building a computer. And then I was like, I don't really like computers. Don't you you and then i gave it to my brother did you really yeah you just didn't spend any time i got into games and burning dvd burning cds and and downloading music see i didn't do any of that i was too scared and uh also i did uh oh I used to play with Photoshop. Really? Yeah, I used to be like, I don't know why I'm, like, I think it's because the Internet's ruined me doing anything else. Oh. But.

Yeah, the Internet is a thing. It's like a glass floor. You can't get deep into anything because you leap into the water, and then you just bounce off So so it's like a glass okay. Sorry. Sorry. It's it's like it's a lake Yeah, it's a right the internet is a lake and then they sorry the the computer is a lake okay the internet is a Sheet of glass just below the surface like or ice oh Below the surface just below the surface. Or ice? Oh, below the surface. Just below the surface.

So you see into the lake and you see all the potential and then you jump into the lake and you just bounce along. Yeah, you probably would slide and fall and hit your head. Yeah, slip. Smash yourself about, get bruises all over your body on the internet. You know, there'd probably be a lot of fish floating to the top of the glass because there's no longer any air getting down. There's not enough oxygen.

Yeah. Yeah. But that top bit of water would be really warm because... It would be warm. Yeah. So if you just lay there on the internet, it would probably be quite comfortable. It is. It's really comfortable. Which is why I don't do anything else. warm yeah so if you just lay there on the internet it would probably be quite comfortable it is it's

really comfortable um i which is why i don't do anything else that actually turned out to be quite a powerful metaphor it's really a powerful metaphor and the water it's just so nice but and like it but i feel bad for all the creatures that live below well Well, they're dying. Yeah. If not dead already. If not already dead. Yeah. Those who are already dead. So, anyway, that's a sketch.

But, is it? Yeah. Yeah. The internet. A man jumps into a lake. Yeah. Smashes himself on a piece of glass. What is this piece of glass? Well, it's a metaphor for the internet.

For the internet. What? The internet. For the internet. What? The internet. Who are you? I'm the metaphor explaining man. Oh. You can call me Metaphone. Oh.

Are you a robot? Yes. Oh. Where did you come from? Who made you? God. Oh. I was made by our Lord. I had an idea. Jesus Christ. I had an idea? God. I was made by our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I had an idea about God. And tell me about this metaphor. I was thinking, because I'm not entirely sure I believe in God. Oh. But even if I did... Maybe he's a metaphor. You know, like, he loves you, right? Yes.

He does. He told me, actually. But you have to have, like, a long-distance relationship with him. Yeah, but that just makes the heart grow fonder. Does it? Yeah, he loves you more. I know, but it's tough. I know he's everywhere, but he's never just here.

I guess prayers are Skype. Prayers are like Skype, but they don't have the video feature yet. Your long-distance relationship with God. When they get that feature going, I mean, they have it, but the buffering speed is really long. Yeah, and because so many people are using it. Just switch it off. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And if you get premium prayer, then you can group prayer with other deities. Really? Yeah. From other religions or the same religion that we are not aware of? Same religion. Or can you speak to both God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost? Yeah.

Amen. If you can get the Son into the room, he never wants to come over. Amen. To the computer, to the webcam. Oh, he never wants to come in? No. He's like, where's the Son? He's like, oh, he's in his room.

Yeah. It's just me and the holy ghost today but what's wrong with him oh nothing he's just oh he's just upset about something again i don't know you know i'm always the enemy imagine being one with your father. Yeah, that would be hard. Yeah. Just being part of a big trinity. Yeah, he's here, sort of. With your dad.

Yeah, like, you know. Where's the son? Well, he's kind of here. He's in... He's part of me. Yeah, he's part of me. Well, how come you and the ghost are separate? You know, I can see you guys both. Yeah, well...

The son's here in spirit. Like the Holy Ghost? No, well, he's there in spirit, but in a different way. Yeah. He is a spirit, and he's here. So that's a sketch? That's a sketch of what it's like to be one with your father. One with your dad.

Yeah. That's good. Okay, I think father. One with your dad. Yeah. Oh. That's good. Okay, I think we can turn that into something. Okay. Because you're Skyping with... Skyping with God. You're Skyping with the Holy Trinity.

Yep. Group Skyping. Yeah. Group Skyping because you got the premium prayer feature. Yep. And then something happens. Yeah. And then you find out about where the sun is and he's angry.

And we explain the Trinity, which has baffled the Catholic Church, members of the Catholic Church for thousands of years. Yeah. We sort it out. We sort it out using a Skype prayer metaphor. I feel like the Holy Trinity is like when in Tasmania they had the Hydroelectric Corporation, which was responsible for generating and distributing all the electrical power in Tasmania.

And then they did a public float and they split it into three branches. One was called Aurora, one was called Trans called transcend and one was called uh i think still just hydro tasmania yeah and one was responsible for retail one was responsible for distribution and one was responsible for power generation yeah that's how i perceive the holy the holy trinity yeah it's just a sort of a horizontal decomposition of a publicly owned corporation right and did they start uh sort of shafting each other like that like the holy trinity does i don't know but like i imagine in your thing that they would start sort of trying to rip each other off like there would be a price war where like you

know there'd be somebody, the person generating it wants to get maximum profit for their part. Yeah. But then the other people are trying to get maximum profit and they're like, I'm the only person who distributes you, bitch. Right?

Yeah. And so you ain't got no competition. I can set the price of distribution. That's true. That seems like a terrible model. Hmm. Maybe that's the problem with Catholicism. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah, well, I mean, does the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, the Father and the Son, do they all have different roles? I don't know. Who's responsible for distribution? Or retail? I feel like Jesus is retail, because he's very much the public face. Yeah, he's the face.

Okay, so we've got that, definitely. And God's generation, because he's the power. He's getting, yeah. And then the Holy Ghost must be distribution, which is a sort of an abstract in between. Oh, wait. Okay, wait. Distribution, though. Distribution is almost being done by the...

Jesus. Yeah, Jesus. Jesus is kind of... Well, both Jesus, but also... I mean, does the Spirit live within the words of God? God. I think the problem is we're trying to break up the Holy Trinity and it actually can't be. Like people, this is the central debate of Catholicism. Oh right. I think for hundreds of years all the schisms have been over this stupid

question. It's completely stupid. It's a thing that you made up and then we're arguing about the details of the thing we made up yeah the stupid the unimportant details it doesn't affect anybody's life yeah it doesn't affect your message no yeah it's true it's like yeah so many people have died because they can't agree on the thing we're talking about right now. Really? Yes. There have been wars.

Crusades, probably. Yeah? I don't know. I'm getting out of my depth. Yeah. I think I need that sheet of glass back so that I can just sit on the surface of religion. And you can just watch the ocean die. Now it's the ocean.

Now it's the ocean and now it's not the internet. Now it's all of religion. All of religion. Yeah. And we're just watching everyone drown in there. Even fish. We're watching fish drown. Fish drown.

Which you think would be impossible, but it's because we invented this stupid thing. There you go. Let's argue about the nature of the sheet of glass that we made up. We invented this fucking stupid thing and now nobody can breathe because, anyway, their lives are over. I'm hungry. Yeah?

Yeah. You think we should have a break? We've got four sketches already. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. How many do we need to get to? I reckon five is a good number to get to for a podcast.

And then we have to build a story around... Oh, we're going to turn them into a narrative. Yeah. Oh, what a horrible thing to do to for a podcast. And then we have to build a story around. Oh, we're going to turn them into a narrative. Yeah. Oh, what a horrible thing to do to yourself. No, this is going to be great. Okay. We should be writing them down, really. Well, I know, but we can keep remembering them. What's the first one again? There's a pen over there. I really like those pens. They're very satisfying. They're almost a texter, but I feel like they make my writing look more interesting when i'm writing with a sort of a text up it's a pretty thick it's a pretty thick but also you can get quite a bit of variation in the thickness and as a person who's lacking any kind of flair

or style to my handwriting having that variation is quite i enjoy it yeah i enjoy it I enjoy it. Yeah. I enjoy it. Ice. No. Ice enjoy it. I.

Ice enjoy it. I enjoy it. My I. I enjoy. Oh, enjoy. That's a cool word. Yeah. To fill with joy. It actually means, yeah, I guess it means to fill with joy.

Yeah. You know, this is something I think about. Enjoy. Well, because, you know how Beethoven wrote an ode to joy. Yeah. He's just like, how good's joy? No, joy was his

sister. Sister, oh yeah. Here you go, joy. Joy, I'll write you this song. Yeah, joy. It's about you. Yeah, it's about you. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na with you and you were born just before me from my mum I am Beethoven

you are Joy what is my last name what's our name nobody knows Joy are kind of different names do you think you're adopted Ludwig Van Beethoven, is that his name?

Van? Van. He's Wig Van. It's like one of those... Lud Wig Van. Beethoven. It's the Wig Van. Everybody, it's the Wig Van.

Because actually... And then that's actually the song that they it's the wig van Cause actually And then they play That's actually the song That they play When the wig van Is driving around It's like an ice cream Oh the wig van's coming

Ludd's wig van A lot of people don't know Yeah I wrote that song About my sister Joy And And I used to I used to run the only mobile wig business in all of Austria. Austria, I don't know, Germany? Lud.

Lud. Hey, first name Lud. How you doing? Lud. Wig van. Wig van. Bunny ears around wig van. Beethoven.

Beethoven. Beethoven. Yeah, just spell it Beethoven. Beethoven. Beethoven.hoven. Yeah, just spell it beet-hoven. Hoven. Hoven. Yeah. You know how to spell beet? You know how to spell hoven?

Like beet like a, beet like a, you know like the purple, the purple vegetable. Beet. You can't eat it raw. Don't eat it raw. You either cook it, you steam it, you roast it, or you pickle it. But don't eat it raw. Don't eat it raw. Either cook it, you steam it, you roast it, or you pickle it. But don't eat it raw. Don't eat it raw. Then hoven. What is a beet? A beet? A beet That's the bait. Yeah. Your name's Joy and you're my sister.

What a weird name you must be adopted. All right, and so that's our fifth sketch. Lud Wigvan. Wigvan Beethoven. Joy, get the wig van! Get the wig van! A lot of people think it's about, you know, the emotion joy, but no. No. No.

And now it's the irony that that should become the anthem of the European Union. Which it is. Is it? Yeah. Ode to Joy is the anthem of the European Union. I think that's quite beautiful. Yeah. Well, it's a small part of his Ninth Symphony, I think.

Is it? I believe so. Oh. Yeah. Which part? The part that goes... Oh, that part. We can play it on YouTube later.

Maybe that'll be the theme song. Can that be the theme song of our... Yeah. Can it be the anthem? Absolutely. Of our podcast? Yeah. And I want it to be that part where it just really like...

Oh, it gets... It's so stirring. It's fantastic. I reckon we can edit it up so that it kind of... We get to have that beginning part, right? Because it's real soft. And then just cut straight to just there boom like that yeah we don't want to waste too much time people having to listen to that whole piece of music just like no you get the point and then bam like that ludwig van beethoven we we do a we do an album of just his greatest notes

not even his greatest hits just like oh, oh, that note. Dun! Like that. Yeah. Oh! That was a great note. Yeah, yeah. You know what I've recently wanted to listen to?

We're going to have to go eat soon so that you can do that, but then we'll write down all... Wait, first let's go over the five sketch ideas. Okay, the coat of arms. Coat of arms.

For Latvia. Yeah, and also finding an animal. Yeah, animals that don't... We've got to find animals that don't go backwards. Yeah, and also finding an animal. Yeah, animals that don't... We've got to find animals that don't go backwards. There's the... Fuck.

Oh, this is terrible. We might have to listen back to it. There's the wig van. Yeah, the wig van. Lude wig van. There's Skyping with God. Skyping with God. Skyping with the Holy Trinity yep

um is there the did we do end up with the glass the internet uh I think that turned into skyping with the Holy Trinity

I don't think we want yeah that as an actual sketch yeah um here's here's a thing I think we should do

from now on once we have an idea okay we wanna we wanna like keep a timer going and then as soon as we have an idea okay we want to we want to like keep a timer going and then as soon as we have an idea we just write down the time that we we solidified the idea yeah and so can't we just write down the idea yeah we can write down the idea as well but i

think also it's nice to have the time so that we can go back and re-listen to what we've done like the oh yeah like like the thing that generated it because that way we've got some of the details. Yeah. And then two other things that we came up with. Fuck. Alright. Well, I'm going to stop it and then we're going to have to go back. Yeah. I didn't make any bread. That's fine. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can get anything you need with uber eats well almost almost anything so no you can't get

snowballs on uber eats but meatballs and mozzarella balls yes we can deliver that uber eats get almost almost anything order now product availability may vary by region see app for details