Two In The Think Tank - 04 - "Wrote My Dad Off"

Episode Date: June 14, 2013

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You are listening to the 2in the Think Tank Podcast with Alistair Tromp, Clay Virtual and Andy Matthews on the Microphone Tour. King to you guys. This is the show. Sorry about that. So welcome to In The Think Tank. For this whatever period that we end up releasing these things. In.

In. On. This week, this month. And or at. This year's. Yes. This year's podcast. The podcast.

This lifetime. This lifetime. Oh, time could be decimalized by the time we release this. Do you think so? Yeah, yeah. This decade. Wait, do you think that's the thing that's going to happen? They're going to decimalize time?

That was the thing that they came up with? They're going to decimalise time? That was the thing that they came up with in The Simpsons and joked about. So, yes. I don't know. I mean, no. I mean, I do know, and no. But I mean... I do know, and the answer is no. They're not going to decimalise time.

But I mean, that could be a fun thing to do. Yeah, it'd be really fun. I mean, how many hours in the day would there be then? 20? No, you'd lose 40% or whatever. It would be fun in a sketch show to have, in one particular episode, to have just some weird convention that sort of runs throughout the episode. So, say there's one episode where time has been decimalised,

and it's never discussed, except maybe somebody says, oh, it's difficult to get used to or whatever. Yeah. But then just from then on throughout the episode, all the references to time are in this new decimalized... Yeah, okay. ...time system. And so it's like 3.86 p.m.

Would you even get to 3 p.m.? That's 15. That's 15. That's 15. I think what you would have is you would have maybe 10 hours, like 20 hours in a day. Yeah. But I don't know if there's enough time. What? Where would we fit them in?

Yeah. So you've got 24 hours to fit in 20 hours. Yeah. So you just make the hours a bit longer. Or you just have 20 hours and then you have a period of time at the end of the day. Wait, are we actually changing the length of a second? Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay.

But aren't seconds already go up to 100? No? Like, no, no, no. Not in a minute. Oh, my God, I sound like an idiot. But the milliseconds, do they go up to 60? Yeah, I think millisecond is like 100 in a second. But it's millis, so it should be 1,000.

I have no idea. No, there must be 1,000. It'd be 1,000 in a second. Maybe you just can't fit all thousands On a little stopwatch So they just put 99 Yeah I'd say that's probably it Yeah

And then December Could still be December Because it's Dec Yeah 10 So then we're getting rid of some months We get rid of a couple of months So those

Cut some months Cut some of the fat Julius Says they're put in July So get rid of that Augustus Get rid of some months. We get rid of a couple of months. Cut some months. Cut some of the fat. Julius. Says they're put in July. So get rid of that. And Augustus. Get rid of Augustus. Yeah, fuck those guys.

And everybody who's born in those months. Fuck Augustus. No more birthdays. Sorry, guys. Sorry. Sorry, Pisces. Or Virgos.

I don't know, whatever you are. But then how many days would there be in a month? 365. There'd be like 36. there be in a month? 365. There'd be like 36. 36 days. That's pretty good.

Unless you get paid monthly. You want to... Oh. 10. So we're going to have to change the length of a day. A day now no longer starts, you know, with the sun rising. Yeah. A day is like, it's sort of a two and a bit days.

It'll be like Norway. It'll be like living in the northern parts of Norway. So each day will actually be made up of 3.6 days. Yeah. What if it was just 10 days a year? Yeah. Okay. This is good.

Yeah. This is going to work. Okay. First day of the year, you celebrate everybody's birthday. Yep. And New Year's. Second day of the year is a public everybody's birthday. Yep. And New Year's. Second day of the year is a public holiday. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that's great. That's good. I like that. Because you're going to need something to recover after the birthday. Yeah. Third day, third and fourth day, weekend. So it's long weekend.

Yeah. Birthday. This is great. Long weekend. Right. And then work day. Work day. Major hangover day like it's just like that that's the that's the monday everybody dreads work day then the next day hump day yeah it's hump day

which is exciting because you're almost day is hump day right yeah oh no sixth day we're on the sixth day that's good because you're already coasting now you're on the downhill if hump day is yeah towards the end of the week okay and then seventh day is thursday eighth day um misc misc yeah what'sC? Miscellaneous. Oh, yeah. Anything can happen there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you get a TV deal. And the ninth day is April Fool's Day. Yeah. Oh, great.

And so for the first half of the day, everybody's trying to trick you into thinking that Google's released a new thing where they put stamps on your back. Yep. Stamps on your back. I don't know. They sell your back for advertising. That turns out That was the price For Gmail Google

Backspace Yeah It'd be called Backspace Backspace key Gbackspace Gback Gback

Space Space And But then everybody gets money And nobody has to work anymore And the 10th day Is Christmas Oh my god

That's great Yeah Yeah Which Sorry Jews Sorry everyone else Sorry everybody else anymore. And the 10th day is Christmas. Oh my God. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Which, sorry Jews. Sorry everyone else. Sorry everybody else. There were only 10 days we had to consolidate. Yeah. You guys can have the other holidays that you guys have. We could try and be. But I know, but I'm not naming. We could, um, we could try and be inclusive and just have a religious bullshit day.

Yeah. Oh, that'd be great, yeah. Lying to yourself and others day. Yeah. Which will be Christmas slash lying to yourself and others. Yeah, okay. We'll still have Christmas in there. Yeah.

And which is essentially also what sort of the April 1st is as well. What was it called? April Fool's Day. April Fool's Day, yeah. That's also like a bit of a lying to each other. It is as well. What was it called? April Fool's Day. April Fool's Day, yeah. That's also like a bit of a lying to each other. It is, yeah. It's just that you've stretched it out over several millennia and you lie to the whole world repeatedly.

Yeah. Okay, wait, I'm going to write, that's our first sketch, it is 10 days in a year. I think it's definitely fun to, and you could just do that as just like guys seriously sitting around a table trying to work out

how it's going to work. What are we going to do with these days? Starting off with birthday then. Pretty much have exactly that conversation that we just had. But it's a serious... We'll just do the thing that they do with Eddie Izzard's thing with the Death Star Canteen and the Lego. Yeah.

We'll just take that recording and thenanteen and the Lego. Yeah. We'll just take that recording and then somebody makes it with Lego. Yeah. Because we're at that level. I don't think we're at the level where anyone's going to be inspired to pick up Lego by this podcast. Hey.

Because I know that's the highest form of praise. Yeah, if somebody's making your joke in Lego. Yeah. Seinfeld was so good, I wanted to remake it with Lego. Yeah. Seinfeld was so good, I wanted to remake it with Lego. Yeah. Sorry, I said yeah really loud then, because I was looking at the...

The sound thing. The sound. I noticed that. The recording, and then I wanted to check that I could still make noise. Yeah. Imagine that if none of your thing was... Yeah.

Like, none of your jokes were getting picked up. Maybe they weren't. Yeah. Not by... none of your jokes were getting picked up. Maybe they weren't. Yeah. Guys, if you listen to that whole podcast so far, and you're like, Andy's not being very funny so far. I can still hear him, but he's not being very funny. Just assume that none of my jokes were getting picked up by the microphone. There's a filter on the mic.

Yeah. That's cool. Here's a sketch on the mic. Yeah. That's cool. Here's a sketch that I've wanted to do for ages, which is about scientists, right? Yeah. Somebody discovers that all the scientists are just doing science because they get off on it. Yeah. They're sexually aroused doing science because they get off on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, they're sexually aroused by making major medical breakthroughs or, you know. Yeah. Like, there'd be this big scandal where it turns out that it's just like a fetish. Yeah. Science is a fetish. The Nobel Prize.

It's just a big circle jerk? It's a big circle jerk. Well, I mean, that would be amazing. I mean, that would be like having your fantasies come true, right? That would be like... Yeah. If that was your thing. You get to make a medical breakthrough, but then you get to be recognized for achieving your fantasy.

Yeah. So your fantasy is having a medical breakthrough. You live that fantasy, and then everyone gets around and celebrates how great your fantasy was that you got to have your fantasy. But everyone would be like really confused and like disgusted and not quite sure how to react and how to enjoy the benefits of technology now that they know that they're all basically sex toys, you know. know that they're all basically sex toys you know yeah but yeah so then they're like oh they found a cure for cancer people go oh geez well i guess that's good in a way and you'd see like all the you know the the experts the scientists being interviewed and you know leafing through their papers that have got the you know the just all the information about the discoveries, and all the pages are all stuck together with jizz. Oh, jizzy science books. And even the people in the cancer wards would be a little bit disgusted.

The invention of the iPad will have been one of the most important breakthroughs in science, because you no longer had to go to the library and just touch these books that were like beer nuts in a bar like just so many like samples of jizz and urine from so many men. Urine? I don't know.

I'm sure some of them are into water sports. Yeah, water sports science. Water sports science. So there'd be some people who when they do science science, have to, like, try and choke themselves a little bit when they're making breakthroughs. That's also their fetish. Just to try to heighten. Yeah.

Well, sometimes, yeah, like, curing leukemia isn't enough. Yeah. It's weird, because, like, let's say that, okay, there's all these fetishes. People have all these fetishes in the world. And then, let's say they're randomly distributed throughout society right um but then like just by random chance there'd be some people who like end up with more than one fetish so they'd be into like i don't know like bestiality and autoerotic asphyxiation or something but like so you know and then there'd be some people like, it'd be very unlikely, but there'd be people who'd be into like three different things.

And how elaborate your setup has to be so that you can get off properly. Yeah. And like, it'd be like the planets aligning for you to actually have a good... Oh my God, that'd be awful. No, it would be. It'd be really tough. But I was just thinking, so when you're reading through a science book and you're a scientist who gets off on making discoveries, you're like reading it and it's like porn.

So you're just like, you're imagining, you go, oh, imagine if I'd found that in the data set. If I'd found that anomaly in the data set. And there'd be like all these point of view, like science documentaries or something, where you can imagine that it's you... Writing down stuff, looking through a microscope, making an observation.

Oh, look at how those two cells interact. Yeah. Oh, no one's ever noticed that before. Let me just note that down. So I think this, yeah, if this was a sketch, it would be a sort of a news report or something or like a today, tonight kind of expose. Yeah, they would totally, okay, scientists. Get off on making breakthroughs.

On making breakthroughs. On making breakthroughs. Yeah. This is the writing down time, guys. Yeah, sorry, guys. Writing down music for you. A bit of... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah. You got any other ideas for sketches, Alistair? Oh, ideas for sketches?

Yeah, or sketch ideas. Oh, no. Oh, okay. But ideas for sketches. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I thought normally we just talk about something until one comes out. We don't always... No, we sit here and we say, do you have any ideas for sketches?

Yeah, because that feels awkward, doesn't it? It's like, oh, no, well, everybody's disappointed now. Oh, this is going to be a slow podcast. Yeah. I read, I was listening to a podcast that was talking about how women, like they're talking about like the glass ceiling and like how women aren't equally represented in pay and you know on the boards of companies and stuff but also how women aren't equally represented in crime statistics like how there's this huge gender imbalance between men who commit so much more crimes like of every kind yeah compared to women yeah um and and how like

not quite sure how to feel about that but like it's obviously women yeah they only why is that what's what's wrong with our culture that women don't feel that they can get into crime. Yeah. That's really funny. Yeah, and why do we only want to be equal on positive things? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever the opposite of affirmative action is, or some sort of affirmative action for getting into bad shit. Yeah. I had an idea for a joke based around that which would be

that like um you know women are underrepresented in all um uh all crime statistics you know not just um the boards of major companies um so you know like like break-ins like women are don't do any virtually any break-ins really like women don't do virtually any break-ins. Really? So maybe the reason that women can't break through the glass ceiling is that they're just not very good at breaking through things, breaking glass. No, that's funny. Yeah, there's something there.

Yeah, yeah. But I think you nailed the concept when you said, like, what are we doing to let, like, what are we not doing? Yeah. What's society? What's wrong with our society? That women don't feel like they can commit violent crimes and break the law. Yeah. I mean, maybe it's a confidence thing, you know? Maybe women through physiology or temperament are just unsuited to...

To crime. To crime. Or maybe it's the way that we're raising them. We're not raising them to steal. Yeah, and to see those opportunities and to feel like they have a place. Why don't women feel like predators? You know? I mean, the question would be, like...

But, I mean, equally, you could ask, like, why are guys... Why do people... Why are men more likely to commit crimes, I guess? Like, what drives them? Why do they end up doing it? And it's probably a function of whatever the same thing in society is that

stops women from feeling like they can do well in business that forces more men yeah like is that what women feel that they can't don't feel they can do well in business that's probably completely wrong that's not a thing women don't feel they can't do well in business i don't know why i said that but like whatever it is that is about the structure of society that stops women from being successful or being able to... Would be the same thing that... Yeah, that sort of drives guys, more guys into committing crimes. But also probably a lot of major corporations, in order to make them major corporations,

people had to essentially commit crimes. Probably. Yeah. It could be exactly the same thing yeah so that all it is is that um is that you know you have to exploit people and you have to go to a third world nation and yeah and like sort of like essentially be like a mob oh my god yeah and just business is crime guys capitalism is crime well you know just to get to the top. Yeah. Maybe. And, you know, big business is just, like, the only difference between big business and petty crime is that petty

criminals don't have a big business. Yeah. Or something. Yeah, they just haven't done a, they haven't gone to Harvard. Yeah, so I don't know how to turn that into a sketch, though. Well, maybe you could just be a guy yelling. Well, essentially, it's very close to a Carlin bit. It's not that close to a Carlin bit, but there's a bit that he does about suicide, that women don't kill themselves at anywhere near the same rate as men do.

At the same rate? Yeah. That's a weird word to use, isn't it? Kill yourself at a rate? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But it's women as the superorganism that is all... Non-men.

Yep. Or... Oh, I shouldn't have gone this direction. There's a lot of noise out on the street. Yeah? It's going to sound really good on the podcast. I don't think it's coming through. Oh, okay.

You can't hear it on the headphones? No. Oh, great. Shouldn't have brought it up. No, no, no. Yeah. So, okay. The superorganism that is all women.

That is all women. That rate. Yeah. Oh, okay. The superorganism that is all women. That is all women. That rate. Yeah. Oh my god. So, we've come to a dead end. And? This, sorry, this. You can hear this, right?

We can stop. We can edit this out if you want. No, we don't edit anything out. Look, you want to listen to the headphones? Oh my god. This is the... Loudest thing you've ever heard? It's impossible for me to tell if the headphones are...

Because the sound itself is so loud that I can't hear anything. Well, maybe you'll have to go back and listen to it. Oh my god! Alright, well, we're actually going to have to do some editing on this one. We're not going to do any editing. Oh, fine. It's because... I think that's apt. I think that should be the background

sound of our podcast. Every episode should just be construction noise, because that's what we're doing. We're trying to build sketches. We're trying to build something. When you do something, it makes construction noise. Whatever you're doing, you should also always have noise of the metaphor of that thing happening in the background.

This is the opposite of what we were talking about in that last podcast. Yeah, yeah. So, when, let's say... Let's create a soundscape. Let's say you're making a sandwich. Yeah. There should always be the sound of someone chewing in the background. Yeah, or maybe lions hunting gazelles or something in the background.

Because that's what we're doing. We're eating to survive. Yeah, like a caveman hitting an animal that was around at the time of cavemen with a club. Yeah. What animals were around? Same animals? About the same animals probably. Yeah, about the same animals.

Like woolly mammoths were around a bit, I guess. Yeah. And saber-toothed tigers. There were a lot of mega fauna. There actually were. Mastodons. I don't know what they are, but let's say them. I think they're...

Aren't they... Like a woolly mammoth? Yeah. Mastodon. It's a great name. It's a fantastic name. Is that the name of a heavy metal band? Because it should be.

Mastodons. Mastodon. I think it is a heavy metal band, actually. Mastodon. Yeah, or just a regular band. Metal band, or just a band. Just a band. I like Megafauna.

I wish there was more Megafauna. Yeah. Like, I really... I think about it a lot and i am sad really it isn't mega for how tell me how often you think about it like probably once twice a month i think about mega fauna but and how i just like because there used to be this thing called was it like the diphthodon or something it was like in australia it was a um like a giant wombat basically okay like as big as a cow or like a as cow or like as big as a rhino or something like that.

And they just wandered around Australia. Imagine if we had our own megafauna. There were these giant kangaroos. Did it come with megaflora? Did they eat... Huge grass. Yeah, like just thick blades of grass that they could just chew through. Was there that?

Like, wasn't there giant ferns back in the day? Probably. Yeah. Probably giant ferns. It was like, back at the time of dinosaurs, there was more oxygen in the atmosphere, apparently. Oh. And that's, like, why, one of the reasons Jurassic Park wouldn't work. Because they actually couldn't survive in our atmosphere, I don't think.

They're not evolved for, like... Well, you'd think they'd adapt. They'd adapt. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but do you think that you could adapt to that? Like the amount of oxygen, you know, like if you go to upper atmosphere... Oh, that's true.

...you kind of adapt to that? Yeah, yeah. So there's like the people in Nepal... Yeah. ...living at high altitudes have got more blood, red blood cells. Yeah. Nepal. Yeah. Nepal. Yeah.

So the dinosaurs would just have to do a bit of altitude training. Yeah, exactly. And then they'd be fine. Then they'd probably be really good at long distance running. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that right? No, the opposite. They'd be really bad at long distance running because they need... Well, yeah, no, after they go do their training. Yeah. Of course, yeah, sorry. But when they first got here,

they'd be like... Oh, they'd be crap at longest and driving. They'd probably be sprinters, I imagine. So the Jurassic Park Olympics would all have to be short course. Yeah, well, for a bit, until... Unless, you know, unless the Himalayans opened up their own Jurassic Park. And then... I mean, they wouldn't have to be Sherpas.

The Himalayans. The Himalayans. The people from the Himalaya. Sherpas. Himalaya. Himalaya. Yeah. The Himalayans.

The Himalayans. Yeah. I think that's fun. I don't know. I don't think any of that was even a sentence, let alone a sketch idea. Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's, yeah, it's... Megaforno is cool. Yeah. Well, is there anything like, you know, like crocs are sort of like leftover dinosaurs? I feel like that's probably a myth in some way. Is that wrong or is that true? I think that is wrong. No, it might be right.

I think birds. I think people say that birds are leftover dinosaurs. Yeah, that's true. More than crocodiles. Crocodiles aren't reptiles though, or something. But yeah, so then... Or they are. I don't know. But like, they're prehistoric. They're before history, right? Yeah. Yeah, like...

When did history start? When people started writing stuff down? I guess so, yeah. Yeah. When was that? Oh. Like, probably like 4,000 years ago. 20 years ago?

20 years ago. It's in that window. Between 20 and 4,000 years ago. Yeah. Like, when was Homer... Was he history? Homer Simpson was about 20 years ago. 20 years ago, okay

Yeah But Homer, Homer It was probably about like, what, like 500 BC or something, maybe? I think it must have been way before that Before? Yeah, because I think that's when they were using it as a Bible type thing Ancient Greeks are like 300, 400 BC, I think Yeah

Well, then that's when Homer would have been, right? He was an ancient Greek But I think he was an ancient, ancient Greek been, right? He was an ancient Greek. But I think he was an ancient, ancient Greek. Oh, really? He was definitely a pre-Socratic. He was pre-historic. Yeah, he was pre-Platonic.

He was a megafauna. Hey! Yeah, he was huge. Yeah. Until he was hunted to extinction by the Aboriginal peoples. Was it? Is that where the megafauna went? I think they died out at approximately, like, you know, within a few thousand years

of the arrival of Aboriginal people in Australia. But I think it may be more to do with, like, and this is just speculation, I think part of Aboriginal hunting techniques involved a lot of burning off of, like, plains to create fresh grass that would attract, like, kangaroos and stuff that they hunted. Yeah, right.

And maybe that changed the habitat or the environment in some way. Or cooked them. Burned the, it burned all the megaflora that the megafauna were eating. Oh my god. Or just cooked them. Is that why there's so much desert? Was there always... I don't think there's so much desert because the Aboriginals burned all the...

Burned all the trees. Right. Now everything's desert. Oh. Well, thank God you guys stayed away from the coastal regions. There's not a sketch in that. There's not. There's really not.

But... There's not a sketch in that There's not There's really not Accusing indigenous people Of making desert Making desert Nice one guys Yeah Oh way to go I was going to live here

Now there's desert Everywhere Okay The Like the The myths of like the inland sea And like the People's attitudes

To early Australia Were very strange Yeah There was this Very much this idea I think for a lot of the Like early white settlers Was there an inland sea world

As well Yeah I don't know why I think that's funny Um Okay Just Alice Spring Should Alice Spring should open up an inland sea world. I'm writing that down.

That's a sketch idea. Yeah. No, that's really good. Alice Springs. I really wanted to have a sketch about the Alice Springs Lifesaving Group, or what are they called? Lifesaving Club? Yeah.

Lifeguards? The Surf Lifesavers? Yeah, Surf Lifesavers. I can't even say the words. Look, that'll be a part of the same sketch. Yeah? Alice Springs Inland Sea slash surf lifesavers. Inland surf lifesavers.

Yeah. And I think it would be just really depressing for them. Because there's no... I mean, to our credit, we haven't had any drownings in over in the history of the club yeah uh and um well no that's not true we did have one drowning but he drowned in sand he just drank. It's almost like he wanted it. We did have one drowning, and that was on our training day. They were like, they'd be trying to learn to swim.

Oh, yeah. Presumably they don't even have a swimming pool. Yeah, they don't have water at all. They don't have any liquid. They've never seen liquid. They've never seen... They don't even know what it's like to have a moist mouth. They'd have like...

Very dry mouth. Someone over-salivated and drowned. It was tragic. It was... Their skin's all cracked. It was... The skin's all cracked. What would happen was that the Alice Springs Life Saving Club training day, they've got just one small pot of water or tray of water on a table,

and they're all taking it in terms to put their face in it and blow bubbles, and somebody ends up drowning because they don't know how to get out. While they're talking, they're talking to each other about it, like the trainer's talking to the other person going, and you see, and eventually, you know, we'll go on a road trip, I'll show you about the thing, and then as they look back

and the guy's just laying dead in the like, in the half a centimeter tray of water. Just, here's, here's just wetness. Just maybe get this on your skin. Just trying to deal with the concept of moisture. We're going to try to introduce you to it. It only takes 20 seconds. What it would be,

they'd be trying to build it up. So first you start, you're just putting maybe a hand in one pot of water and then you put your other hand in another pot of water and you put your face down and you sort of flap your hands in these two pots on either side and blowing bubbles in the one in the middle.

They're trying to create that. Someone's brought water from the coast. It's like dirt in Waterworld, but it's the opposite of Waterworld. Waterworld you're talking about? The movie. The movie Waterworld. Yeah, yeah, sorry, not the...

Does that happen? Somebody gets a bucket of dirt in Waterworld? Yeah, they're like, Oh, you've got dirt! People go for long bike rides with just like a, a bottle of dirt on their bike.

Squirting it on their face and stuff like that. That's, that's, but that, that was Waterworld. He goes down underwater because he's got gills

or whatever and he finds some dirt and they're like, and then he can use that as like money to, yeah. It'd be all salty.

I guess you'd wash it out. You'd wash the salt out of the dirt. Maybe. He goes down underwater and finds some dirt. I think so. He goes and gets some dirt and then he uses it to buy some boots, which you wouldn't need because it's water. Flippers.

Yeah. Buy flippers. Buy some flippers. Buy some wetsuit booties. Flip flops. Life is like being near a pool all the time. Yeah. Get a towel.

Get a... Some suntan lotion. When did suntan lotion become sun cream? Was suntan lotion actually, was it sun cream? Or was it something that you put on your body to make you tan more? I actually, I don't know. I think it may be something that makes you tan more. Like my aunt, aunt.

I have to start saying aunt because a lot of people think I'm talking about ants. No, they don't. No, but I know what people have often go. Oh, I thought you were talking about an ant. Like, anyway, forget it. Those people are dickheads and you shouldn't be friends with them anymore. And I shouldn't change the way I live my life. No.

Okay, my aunt used to... Well, I think she might still do it. Ant? What, like a bull ant? Yeah. No, I mean like she's my dad's sister. Oh. He's an ant?

Yeah. Well, yeah. No, my grandfather was a caterpillar. And as you know, a caterpillar plus a human makes an ant. Sorry, anyway. She rubs oil on her body and goes up there and gets really brown. Your aunt rubs oil on her body? It gets in the sun.

It gets really brown. It gets really brown. Does that work? Yeah. Like rubbing oil on her body. It gets in the sun. It gets really brown. It gets really brown. Does that work? Yeah. Like rubbing oil on your body. Yeah. Makes you sort of like, like a baked potato.

Yeah. Like putting oil, you drizzle a bit of oil on the, it's like a garnish. Has she tried egg white? Egg white and a little bit of milk? No. Because that,

I mean, that helps make you look older, which is also, Crusty. The end result. It is, isn't it? Yeah. Like, you wind up looking like a walnut.

Well, I knew a girl who was, like, who was talking about, like, she kind of has a skin that's a bit like that. Like, where she's like, oh, I am going to be a leather face. And I think that's basically... Does she look good now? Like, does she... Is tan... Do people still like tan? I don't like tan that much.

It's even weird to see somebody with a tan. Like, what are you, German? Like, you know, that's the only people who seem to, like, so like tans. It's like, when you see somebody down the street who's tanned, they're probably German. They're the only people who value that thing. Well, it's because they used to be the... It was the white... No, let's not do it. Yeah. I was going to make it about Nazis. Well, it's because they used to be the white... No, let's not do it.

Yeah. I was going to make it about Nazis. Yeah, yeah. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that.

Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. That's not necessary at all. They're being the anti-Nazis. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

Hang on, you're anti? Yeah. Anti-Nazis. No, anti, like, sort of like. Sort of like your auntie? Sort of like, no, no, sort of like a small bug. Oh. Yeah.

Nazis. Anti- Yeah. Nazis. Anti-Nazis. Anti-Nazis, yeah. Ants probably are the master race. They are, though. They're going to take over the world. Well, apparently there's one style of ant. Style?

Yeah. Ooh. Skateboarders. How chic. No, there's one type of ant that has kind of like taken over a lot of the world. Your aunt? Yeah. Well, the one type of my aunt.

Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, good. That's, yeah, I don't know. I saw that on a thing called Super. You know, like one of those TV shows? It was on Radiolab. Oh, maybe.

Radiolab, yeah. i've listened to the episode there's crazy like mexican fighting ant or something it's from somewhere in south america yeah and they um yeah they're just running rampant and because it's it started from this very small population yeah and because ants um recognize ants within their own colony from some sort of DNA type thing to do with pheromones or whatever, and they won't fight anyone within their own colony. Because this ant population that's taking over Northern America started from one very, very small colony, all the ants in this population in Northern America recognize each other.

So they don't fight each other. They exclusively fight all the other ants, the native ants, the locals. And they just wipe them out. All the locals, the whole jar. Which is like a, yeah, it's like a sort of a master race, anti-Nazi kind of thing. I don't think we're fighting for the sort of same, for the same sort of like thing. Like, I don't think, like, okay. You don't think there's one ant who's just a really good speaker or writer who's inspired all these ants?

But I think we can both live side by side as master races. Ants and humans. I'm not talking about white people. Ants and white people. Mexican ants and white people Yeah Mexican ants And white people Could live in harmony Forming some sort of new axis powers Yeah

Like it'll be Imagine if ants had been one of the axis powers In the second world war I mean that would have been It would have just been like Italy Germany Japan

And ants Ants They're actually the master race And once we're done fighting you guys Italy, Germany, Japan, and ants. Ants. They're actually the master race. And once we're done fighting you guys, we're going to start fighting each other. That would be really funny. Could there be some sort of sketch about, like, in a war, one group trying to make an alliance with the ants? With the ants. Yeah.

Yeah, we can do that. We're like... Is it the Nazis? The Nazis are used too much in comedy. Oh, not enough. Axis... They are a pretty humorous concept because they're already so extreme.

Like, exaggerating things is always funny. Yeah. And they're already, like, it's just... Yeah, but nobody does it about Pol Pot. Like, he... That's true. You're like... But I think that's because he didn't have any good iconography. Yeah, but nobody does it about Pol Pot. That's true. But I think that's because he didn't have any good iconography.

It's very difficult to identify a Pol Pot-ian. That's true. The propaganda really worked for the Nazis. It's the same thing with Jesus and all that. Those emblems that you know them by, that helps you make jokes about them. You need a good logo. Yeah, because it's got to be in common knowledge. Yeah. If you want people to make jokes about you in the years to come, get a good logo.

Get a good logo. IBM? Shit loads of great jokes about IBM. Actually, they were involved with the Nazis. Oh, they were too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wait. Axis of Evil plus ants is what I've written down.

Making an allegiance. Allegiance? Allegiance. Allegiance. Allegiance. Allegiance. Allegiance. That's what I did with ants. Allegiance. Allegiance. Yeah's what I did with ants.

Allegiance. Allegiance. Yeah. I don't know how you turn that into an actual sketch. Do you have a meeting with the Aunt Basseter? The Aunt Basseter? Yeah. Auntie Basseter.

Yeah, with your Aunt Basseter. Yeah. So it's actually the ants, but then it's all these middle-aged women that show up. It's all these... Like ants were just taking over Northern America. Like all these women whose sisters have babies. Yeah.

And they all recognize each other from Fur Bones. Yeah. They form some sort of super colony. And they all recognize each other from Fur Bones. Yeah. They form some sort of super colony. And they show up. That's the answer. And then, because it turned out that one of the guys who was trying to get the Axis of Evil together was a North American, and his accent was like this.

Yeah. And that's the first meeting that he has. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, I feel like we took that further away from being a sketch. That's true. But, well, I mean, I like that idea. Yeah. It's more ridiculous.

It is definitely more ridiculous. Especially if, yeah, if ants were to get together. It feels like the sort of sketch where it could start off fairly ridiculous, and then it just gets more and more and more and more and more ridiculous. So, yeah, or maybe they get the ants first on board, and then they get the aunts. Yeah. But I'd like there to be a third version.

Ants. I don't know that there is. Ants. Ants. Ants. You'd maybe have to think outside the box. I've got hats. Hats.

Hats. You're trying to think of words like ants, and you've got as far as hats. Hats. Anks. Ankles. Pants. Pants. Oh as hats. Hats. Anks. Ankles. Pants. Pants. Oh, yeah.

Fanta. Who was also involved with the Nazis. Fanta was. People, yeah, people at IBM loved Fanta. Yeah, anyway, look, whatever. Cants. Don't, stop it,, whatever. Cants. Don't. Stop it. Stop it. Lance Armstrong?

Lance? Drug cheats? How good is the name Lance Armstrong, though? Yeah. It's a powerful name. It is the most powerful name I can imagine. Do you think it's like a stage name? Like a performer name?

Oh my god, yeah. It's not bad. Because, I mean, Lance. Like Andrew Dice Clay. Yeah. Maybe it's like Greg Moan. Greg Moan. Greg, middle name Greg Moan.

Was his real name. Was his real name. And then he was like, this isn't working for me Yeah, because Lance is already It's like a, it's an aerodynamic Sort of shoot through the air Spear kind of thing Armstrong It should really be

Legstrong And it should be, he should have been called Bicycle Legstrong Bike Legs. And it should be, he should have been called Bicycle Legstrong. Bike. Like Mike the Bike Legstrong. Yeah. Bike Legstrong. But then the guy who won it last year was called Bradley Wiggins.

Yeah. And that's not a strong name. That's the opposite. That's why nobody remembers him except for you. Yeah. Bradley Wiggins. Wiggins. Wiggins. It's the opposite of Lance Armstrong, isn't it?

Yeah. Bradley Wiggins. Sitting in a puddle. Playing conkers by himself. Yeah, he should have been a rower, I think. They just need to have really inbred, stunning names. That's great. It's nice always associating

a certain type of people with inbreeding. Yeah. Speaking as someone from Tasmania, I find that really funny. Yeah. You must. Every time somebody makes a joke about it,

I laugh. I mean, two heads would be great I mean other than like I mean if everybody had two heads two heads would be great but like it's almost like it's almost got to the point of like everybody makes

like people make that joke to me still right yeah when they find out I'm from Tasmania they say oh where's the scar or something like that yeah like it's to me still, right? Yeah. When they find out I'm from Tasmania, they say, oh, where's the scar or something like that. Yeah. Like, to me, it's become funny again because it's been going on for so long and it's so not funny.

It's like everyone on the mainland is part of an alternative comedy, like an anti-comedy. There you go. Anti-comedy is also in league with the Nazis. The anti-comedians? Yeah. Yeah, right.

But like... Anti-com... Yeah, it's like as part of some big anti-comedy joke to be played against Tasmanians where we just keep making the same shitty jokes. Yeah. Over and over. If you keep hitting it shitty jokes. Yeah. Over and over. If you keep hitting it hard enough.

Yeah. And, like, for long enough, it's going to get funny again. Hey, guys, I know this isn't funny, and I know we haven't found it funny for years and years, but if we keep going at it, it'll get funny again. But maybe it is. Like, maybe that's the longest loop of, like... Yeah. Like that.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing repeating. That's every time I slap my hand. Every time I click my fingers, somebody makes... A Tasmanian inbred joke. Boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom.

Ba-boom. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. I walk down the stairs to the kitchen. And I make myself a cucumber sandwich. All these olives are... Yeah, delicious. There's a tapping at the window pane. I go over to the window, but there's no one there.

Just an old twig, blown by the wind. Hey there. I snap it off and I eat it. And I turn my back to the window, but there it is again. The tapping. Tap, tap. Tap, tap. I turn around.

It's another twig. I open the door and let the twig into the living room. The twig makes itself another cucumber sandwich. So what's rocking, twig makes itself another cucumber sandwich. So what's rockin', twig? Well, man, let's let it all hang out, jazz style. And then he unbuttons his fly and just takes a whiz right there on the ground. Hey, whoa, man, Twig. What's going on there, daddy-o?

Yeah. I don't know what that was. We're on four. We just need one more. Yeah, one more sketch. All of these are too weird, Al. Do you think so? No, no.

Ten days in a year. Yeah, ten days in a year. That's pretty good. Get off and make a breakthrough.? Yeah, 10 days in a year, that's pretty good Get off and make a break through Oh, no, the Alice Springs Inland Sea World No, that's really good Surf Life Savers

These are great ideas Yeah Some of them aren't weird enough The last one about the ants was pretty silly Still Silly's good Yeah, but Link, I keep saying Yeah

Why can't we just have a sketch set in a doctor's office? I mean, we can. All right, so somebody goes to see the doctor. Yeah. All right, you've got tinea. Yep. All right. Your foot's really itchy.

Yeah. I'm going to give you an antifungal cream. Okay, good. Well, this could be a prescription. You've got to buy it. No, I don't think you need a prescription for antifungal. You don't need a prescription. All right.

I've had tinea. So they have that discussion. Yeah. All right. Okay. And then he goes, no, no, no, you don't need a prescription. All right. I've had 10 years. So they have that discussion. Yeah. All right. Okay. And then he goes, oh, no, no, no, you don't need a prescription. You go, oh, well, I got my pad up. Is there anything you do want a prescription for?

Morphine? I don't know. Something I can sell. Morphine. Morphine. Please. Fien. Yeah.

Yeah. And then he says fiend And then he looks off into the distance Fiend And then he wakes up And then he's like being slapped by his family And they're like You're addicted to drugs

Interventions are kind of funny But I'm sure they've been done As a comic device right Probably not more than doctor's offices, but still. No. Well, okay, let's go back into the doctor's office. Let's go back into the doctor's office. Okay.

You're waiting in the doctor's office. The doctor's not there yet. Yeah. Prescription. Scription. Prescription. Prescription. Pre-scription.

Yeah. An inscription. Inscription. Inscription Like I When I go to the doctor Yeah Right A lot of the time

I don't tell them all my symptoms No? No Why? Because I feel like If they're good doctors They'll work it out anyway I know but what if...

But what if, like, what if they diagnose something else? Well, then they're not good doctors, and they shouldn't be doing it. I know, but... They should be able to complete the picture from the incomplete information that I'm giving them. I know, but what if you're given something that is bad for out a vital clue yeah like because symptoms can be many things like and we can but i don't think like there wouldn't there's nothing where like if you have the flu and they give you this yeah yeah medication if it turns out you actually had the cold the medication will kill you yeah but but they're like they're making an educated guess because they go like, okay, this is the most

common thing. It's probably this that fits these symptoms. This other thing can fit those symptoms, but it's so uncommon. I'm just going to guess it's not that. Unless you tell me there's like, you've got like urine coming out of your fingertips. tell me there's like, you've got like urine growing out your fingertips. I got an ear, but you'll know. I don't think it's relevant.

Let's see if he can work it out. My back ear is infected. And by the way, do you have an ear growing out your back? You got me. I tried to keep it from you just to see how good a doctor you were, but you're good. You're good, actually. That's really funny that you keep information from doctors. Just little things. Like what kind of stuff? Give me one example.

There was a time when I had really sweaty balls. Yeah. And you didn't tell them that part? I didn't tell them that part. So wait, did you go there for the sweaty balls? I don't want to talk about this. I don't have any diseases. That's cool.

Yeah. That's cool. All right. I don't know if he's going to be coming back for this. Hi, doctor. I don't have really sweaty balls. There he goes. Okay, cool.

So what are the symptoms? Well not sweaty balls There aren't any Then what's wrong? You tell me If you're a good doctor Oh well By the looks of your eyes

You've probably got sweaty balls Well done sir I take my hat off to you Can I sign your degree? I don't know why you do that. Maybe because you're famous. Like a doctor. Look at all these famous people I've treated.

They sign his diploma. Elvis signed my diploma. I must be a really good doctor. It's like the doctor version of signing your cleavage. Please, will you sign my medical certifications? There's an idea of like doctor groupies. It seems like a weird idea, but like doctors who sort of behave a little bit like teenage girls and are like all really big fans

of like, I don't know, like One Direction, not One Direction, but something like that. Wait, so One Direction has a fan base that is all doctors that wait outside for them to go,

yay! Can you sign my diploma? Sign my diploma. I don't think they have a diploma do they? They have a fucking degree Cert 3 My tape certificate I

I like Look it's not our final idea Yeah but Doctor Fan base Who do you think your Your fan base is Like this is an interview with

With One Direction Doctors Who do you think your fan base is? Like, who do you interview with? With One Direction. Doctors. Who do you think your fan base is? Probably doctors. A lot of them are doctors. Nutrition scientists. And sort of ear, throat and nose guys.

Specialists. In my diploma. We'll be playing the break room at the women's hospital. Yeah. Doctor fan base. Okay. That's a really funny image like these people

being mobbed by doctors. Guys in lab coats and everything, right? Yeah. Because they're not just in their civilian clothes. They have to go to the concert. In their scrubs. Because they're in their in their civilian clothes. They have to go to the concert. In their scrubs.

Because they're in their scrubs. Yeah. I was seeing more of a GP. Oh, yeah? Because like GPs don't wear scrubs, do they? No. They should. They should have to.

Because scrubs are like... What I like about scrubs is that they're only like one level up from that gown with your ass showing. Yeah, I know. So it's like... They're not that different, are they? They're dressing down for you. They're kind of pajamas. Yeah. But I don't think with your ass showing in the back. So it's like they're dressing down for you. They're kind of pajamas. Yeah, but I don't think

my dad works in a hospital. He doesn't wear scrubs anymore. I think he used to. What, then he just stopped? Now he just uses scrubs as pajamas, I think. He's a rebel. Yeah, he's too cool.

He rides his motorbike into the office. I'm not going to wear no scrubs. Yeah, I don't wear no scrubs scrubs are for guys who are as cool as me and gonna do an operation on a patient who's dying from STDs and he the way that he and he takes off he's finished his an operation and then he does it like a like he doesn't really

pops a wheelie but he's like but but the back wheel is spinning inside the guy's open torso. Just blood's going all over the nurse. She's like, no! Not blood! He's such a rebellious doctor. I mean... House, right? The TV show House?

Yeah. It's kind of like that, in that he's a cool doctor who rides a motorbike and doesn't wear scrubs. I mean, what we're really describing. Yeah. It's just House. It's House.

The only thing that wasn't in that was the bit where he rides the motorbike inside the person's chest. And I did stop watching after after the third season so i don't know if that happened well his his drug problem i think was getting out of control so he was bound to start bringing his motorcycle into the hospital no smoking yeah okay there's there is like a there's i mean there's an obvious thing to be done with like a cool doctor. You know, like just overdoing how cool the doctor is. Yeah.

He's like... He's a real rock star. Yeah. He wears sunglasses when he's operating and... A leather jacket. Like a white leather jacket. With a pen coming out of it, but it's like a gold. Yeah, and those latex gloves he's got have got like diamonds on them or something. Yeah.

They look like Michael Jackson's gloves. And actually the fingers, the ends of the fingers are cut off. He's just so good, though. Yeah. Like, he's the best. Yeah, he like throws the scalpel up in the air and it kind of, like, lands down straight into a tumor. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. I was going to say, I thought this was funny. Yesterday, uh... Can you write down really cool doctor? Oh, yeah, really cool doctor, yeah. Really cool doctor, in brackets, not house. Yeah. I like that house, they got away with calling a show house, and it's about a doctor.

It should have been called hospital. Yeah, or, like I mean, I think real estate would have been too far, they couldn't have called the show real estate. Undeveloped land. Yeah. Prime retail opportunity. Glorious corner location, walking distance from shops. Bungalow.

They couldn't have called it bungalow. I mean, you could do this. The show's called Bungalow. It's about a really cool baker. With a drug problem. With a drug problem. Which is probably most bakers. They do have to get up really early in the morning.

You can't do that. You can't do that not on drugs. You've got to be on drugs to get up early. They're baked. It's fun to say that about every profession. You say that about truckers. Just because we can't get up early in the morning, we're like, those people must be on drugs. Yeah, they must just be on drugs.

As we lie there in bed until 9.30 or 10, going like, all those people who get up early, they must be off their face on drugs. Oh, businessmen. People who go to the gym must be on drugs. Farmers, drugs. Okay, I got two things now. Yep. Two things. I got, yeah.

The first one was just yesterday. I was in my room laying on my bed and uh indiana my girlfriend was wearing i was eating a mandarin right and and i was getting something about eating a mandarin no no is that yeah that is a joke yeah people have made that joke yeah all right i heard that joke like two days ago actually really yeah and when i was in apollo bay so yeah that's weird that you said that um were you telling people this story about eating a mandarin? No, no, no. But she was eating it, and I was just laying on the bed, and I was getting her to throw pieces of mandarin into my mouth

because I was like, just in case I get paralyzed from the neck down, we're going to have to get good at this where you throw food at my mouth from a distance. I thought that was really funny. Yeah. And then the other thing was, I don't know if this is too morbid, but

in my mind it's like a kid saying to his dad, Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a farmer. And the dad goes, but

farmers have a really high suicide rate. And the kid says, I know. And then it ends. And that's an episode of the X-Files.

Suicide rate. Rate. Rate. It's better than suicide rake. Yeah, that's true. That would be one that's got spikes on both ends. Yeah. So that when you tread on one end of the rake,

and it goes up and hits you in the face, you get raked in the face, you get raked in the face. Oh, yeah. But it's a really high one. Okay. You know that TV show House? Yeah.

Right. There was also that TV show Rake. Yeah. What was that about? It was about a lawyer. I don't know if he said it was rake. I don't think it was. It could have been. There was another one with a guy driving a taxi called something. Taxi? No, it wasn't called taxi, but it was like a one word thing which seemed like unrelated. A guy driving

a taxi? Yeah, but he's also like fighting crime or something like that. Driving a taxi and fighting crime. Yeah. There was Monk. Yeah, Monk. But that's not as good as House and Rake. Yeah. Because they're just, like, someone sitting around, like, trying to cover the top. They're just sitting around, just looking at things in their vicinity. Brick. Actually, Brick is another movie.

No, it's on a TV show. Yeah. How about this? Toenail clipping. Done. What about another toenail clipping? And it's about a fisherman who's addicted to drugs. And he's really cool.

He just hits the ocean with his fist and then a fish jumps out and attacks his enemy. Because he's got an enemy on the boat, on his fishing boat. He has an enemy. A sea anemone. Oh, there's something stuck to my pants. Oh. Oh, gross. Don't smell it. If you find out... Okay, this is the end. This is us fetting. We're not going to put people through listening to this. It's on my pants. I know, but just get over it.

It's disgusting. It's been on your pants for so long. Is it a dead mouse? We've been finding dead mice everywhere. No, we found one dead mouse. We found one dead mouse. But then we saw a squashed dead mouse on the bike path. On the bike path.

Which, the most unlucky mouse. Those tires are so thin. And mice are so small. Yeah, and they're so fast. They're both so fast, the chances of them intersecting. Yeah. It's like a... A really low...

It's like a small thing hitting another small thing that moves really fast in a really big space. But that is a scaled downdown version of roadkill. Yeah. It's great that it's not a bigger animal on the bike path that's been run over like a dingo or something. On the bike path, it's just like a kangaroo. Like they're all bloated. Yeah.

It's been run over by a bike. Yeah, some guy on a scooter. The scooter is like the pony of the bike riding community. You mean like a little foot scooter? Yeah.

A little push scooter. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I took away from the roadkill thing. Yeah, you killed it. But imagine a dead pony. Oh, some guy

losing his cattle. A buffalo. Oh, I wrote my bike off. Hit a cow on the bike path. Very hero. I rarely hear about somebody writing their bike off. Yeah. Yeah.

But, yeah. Because usually if you write your bike off, you usually write your body off. Yeah, and you probably don't tell anyone about it. You don't. You don't go around bragging and telling, oh, buddy, write my parents' body off.

Because that's what you do. You write your parents' car off. I wrote my parents' body off. Because you're getting a piggyback. I'm getting a piggyback from your dad. And you drive him. And you're drunk. And you're coming back from a party. And your dad's giving you a're drunk. And you're coming back from a party.

And your dad's giving you a piggyback. Dad, can you give me a lift? And then you tell him, lift, lift, lift! Like that. And he just runs, gets hit by a train.

Do you jump out of your dad just before he hits the train? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you get minor cuts and bruises, but you just write my dad off. Getting hit by a train is pretty horrible,

but running him into a brick wall or something like that might be an acceptable amount of pain. Yeah. Left, left, left, and you just, yeah. People getting hit by trains is horrible. And you know that if you're... If you're riding your dad, you're something like ten times more likely to have an accident if you've also got your mates in the car, on the dad, on your dad, or on their dads, just behind you. Yeah, they're getting you to say, like, tell them to go faster, tell them to go faster.

You can make it through this red light. Yeah, come on, Alan. Alan. make it through this red light. Yeah, come on. Come on, Alan. Alan. That's my dad's name. Yeah. Come on, mate. He just goes and then he's like, he intersects with his bike. Oh! Alan.

Alan, you got hit by a bike. On the bike. On the bike, pal. Oh, my mum's to be so pissed off Wrote my dad's I don't know if his life insurance Covers third party accidents Or something Wrote my dad off

This was the third party I've been to tonight as well I didn't even insure my dad No but Life insurance Oh yeah Maybe you race another guy for pink slips No, but life insurance. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe you race another guy for pink slips. But your dad's... Your dad's pink slip.

It'd be great if you had to get your dad registered. Dad race. Dad race. Wait, two dads. Two furious. I was thinking two fathers, two Furies. Two Fures. Two fathers, two Fures? Two fathers, two Fures.

And then it's like, it's these guys riding their dads and then these other people riding their leaders. But your dad would be furious. He would be furious? Yeah. Or maybe both dads are also the leaders of countries. Two dads, two furors, two furious. And two furriest, because they're really furry dads. Because one of your dads is played by...

Chewbacca. Chewbacca, Chewbacca. And the other one's played by Robin Williams. He's the furriest. And another one is played by Eugene Levy. Oh, why Eugene Levy? Because he's so hairy. Is he?

Yeah. I once saw him talking on Letterman about how he wanted to play Jesus, but he's too ethnic to play him. Basically, he's just too Jew-y. But Jesus would have been a Jew. What's that got to do with him being hairy? Oh, because when he took his shirt off, it was just really... because he's got like a... Like a doormat. Yeah, like... I don't know why I was going to... I don't know why in my mind people who

are Jewish have a lot of hair. I don't know why they do mind people who are Jewish have a lot of hair. I don't know why they do that in your mind as well. In my mind, I don't know why in your mind. Yeah. In my mind? In my mind. I'm not going to say in my mind before everything. In my mind, I think I'm hungry.

In my stomach. I want to do something about, like, happiness. Right. Whether or not you're actually happy or whether or not you just think you're happy. Yeah. No, I've said that, I think, in the past where I've gone, no, you guys aren't happy. You just think you're happy. I'd like that you could disillusion these people and make them realize, oh, you're right, we're not happy.

We're actually depressed. And then they have a shit time., we're not happy. Yeah. We're actually depressed. And then they have a shit time. But it's more honest. Yeah. So that's great. Yeah. I was trying to find the line for that in my show. I was like, look, you can't be both right and happy.

That's one or the other. Right? And yeah, that's basically that. Okay. I think we can wrap this up. Yeah, yeah. That was fun. We've got seven ideas now.

We ended with wrote my dad off. Wrote my dad off. Which I think that could be a sketch. Yeah. Yeah, you could actually, you could do that. Especially if it's kind of like guys in their 20s or 30s writing their dads that are like in their 50s or 60s. Yeah, yeah.

And if you can get two guys on there. Yeah. Oh, that'd be amazing. But look, I think we're going to have to wrap this up. Okay. So... Bottle of lollips. Bottle of lollips. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.