Two In The Think Tank - 101 - "TIRED MAN NEXT TO MY BED"

Episode Date: October 17, 2017

  ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to unforeseen circumstances the live show has been postponed to the new year. One thousand apologies. Thanks to MVMT watches for supporting this episode! Visit mvmt.com/thinktank for 15% OFF and FREE SHIPPING and FREE RETURNS on STYLISH AND AFFORDABLE WATCHES Pris-tech, Sleepscape, Fact Court, Fingerphobia, Tired Man Next To My Bed, Hideous Apparition Room Mate You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!) Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here Special thanks to George Matthews for producing, and introducing, this pod. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Oh sweet Lord, won't you come back to me? Cause I love it, I love it when you rub my feet. Sweet Lord, won't you come back to me? Cause I love it, I love it when you rub my feet. Hey guys, George Matthews here. Hardworking engineering lackey of Andy and Al's podcast 2 in the Think Tank with a special, special announcement. 2 in the Think Tank are doing their first ever live show in Sydney on the 15th of November as a double bill with

podcast friends the weekly planet. The show will be held at Cake Wine Cellar Door with a live DJ, special guests, door prizes and two crackin podcasts. 6pm is the doors opening time. I can't speak properly. The first podcast starts at 7.30pm, second podcast at 8.30pm, tickets at 25 Bucca Roo's, and there are other Planet Broadcasting shows live every Wednesday in November. Check out the link in the show notes to book and find out more. Thank you. Take it away, boys. Alistair. Yes, Andy, Matthews.

When was the last time you did something good for you? Sorry, it's a question I've been asking everyone recently. I kinda get it out of my mind. You just need to know. When was the last time you did something good for your wrist? I don't think I've ever done anything good for my wrist at all. Good.

I treated like garbage. I yell at it, I spit on it. Alistair, well that's kind of why I brought this up, right? Because I've been seeing the way you treat your wrist. And I know that you, like, I don't think you realize how much your wrist does for you. Over the years, I'm not gonna lie. My relationship with my wrist is not what it used to be.

It is definitely degraded over time. We don't treat each, it doesn't treat me any very good either. Wow, okay. Well, look, I've got more information for you later in the podcast, but I reckon I can help you. I can help repair this broken relationship. Yeah, does it involve? Well, it involves a little thing called movement watches.

MVMD.com, what's the last thing Tank? I don't want to go too deep into it right now. But, um, suffice to say, it's basically what it is. You know, they put another phase on it, so to speak, but this is a relationship service for your wrist. It's a relationship counseling for you and your wrist. All right. Well, I'm willing to listen through to the rest of this podcast just to hear what the rest of the, this is about. I'll just tell you right now it's you know a stylish minimalist watches at an incredibly affordable price. What's sort of like what like $15,000?

Alistair you're going to shit yourself when I tell you how wrong you are okay. Well I look forward to doing that. Okay so that'll'll be later in the show Right now of course we got a Along welcome to to in the thing tank to show where we come up with the you know I was there. What are you reckon only five sketch? I do only five sketch. I, it almost feels like not worth it. Yeah, like what does that mean? Off the back of the hundred sketch idea episode. Five sketch ideas seems like this is going to be the easiest thing in the world.

I don't even know, like what, how do you come up with only five sketch ideas? I don't think like I'm capable of that. I'm? Any more. Yeah, I don't know either. So look, we'll see how long we go for. It's like asking you saying bolt to walk. I don't to walk one meter. Yeah, he won't do it. He won't do it. He'll only run a hundred. Yeah.

These people who say I don't get out of bed for less than, what is it, $10,000? $10,000? Yeah, no, no. So, well, they just lie there in their own feces, I lay in like, what are they gonna get together or crown funding campaign every time you want to go take a shit? Yeah, yeah. That was Naomi Campbell, yeah.

That's Naomi Campbell, that's the subtext of that. She's like, oh, no, I'm gonna shit in my bed unless you pay me a lot of money. She's a real, like, it's quite a good localized little extortion campaign. It's because she knows that people care about her and don't want to see her in that state. It is these kinds of people who are I think they're in a way they're emotional vampires. They take advantage of other people's good will towards them.

Do you think that they're using guilt? I think they're using guilt. Guilt, right? I think that's how Naomi Kammer got to where she is today. Would you say the bleeper bed? Would you say the guilt they're using guilt. Yeah. I think that's how Naomi Kamogoto where she is today. Would you say the bleehabed? Would you say the guilt, they're using guilt like a knife? Guilt. That was an expression I used earlier in the day. Yeah, for almost a scenario exactly like this where you just use guilt to leverage, you know, to leverage people sort of like you would open up a tin

a paint with a knife like that. You don't have a tin a paint with a knife, elastic. You can, you can, you can, you open it with a screwdriver or a spoon. Andy, I open tin a paint with knives, I chuck a oyster with a knife. Not the same knife. The same knife, wow.

Yeah, I don't give a shit. Don't you know, I'm a bad boy. I'm a rebel. I don't have any causes. I feel like a lot of our ideas come back to knives. And I feel like a lot of our default comedy. If you can call it that, Alistair, when it's just you and me and not this

pretends that the podcast involves other pretending to stab each other or threatening to stab each other or just pick it up a knife and just flailing around in the air. Oh damn sorry about that one. But while we're talking about knives, you know, it's and we very often go to the knife salesman, the knife salesman there and the more with these little tables, right, it's that but for shivs. Okay. Right. He's got, he's got a little, little, little knife that he's made out of like sharpening a spoon or something, he's tied it with sticky tape to a pen. Yeah, and there's kind of,

and there's, so it's in prison, the guy's giving a demonstration, other like, you know, sort of inmates are walking past, people are coming up to his booth, even as booth is made out of sort of like toilet paper that's kind of been mashed together and dried into a thing and sort of, yeah, maybe like some old stools. It's prison commerce. Yeah, and then people are going,

you're gonna kind of cut through a shoe, goes, no, this one's made from prison commerce. Yeah, and then people are going to kind of cut through a shoe, and goes, no, this one's made from a shoe. Yeah. This one's like. It can stab through. Okay, how about this? I think that's a good idea, right? Prison knife salesman guy.

But also think that just a knife salesman, who uses the word stab a lot, because they're always say cut, right? Yeah. But the word stab is like this. This could stab through a shoe. This could stab through a shoe. I've seen these puppies at work

and these things can go through 13 phone books. And it'll still stab. You can still stab. It'll still stab. That stabbing edge, it never loses its edge. It's stabbing point. And he's got just like a mannequin that's decked out with like, it's just covered in phone books.

Now, so like this is a sort of like a worst case scenario. This guy has absolutely covered himself in phone books. Like this, right? Look at this, there's hardly a gap you can get through. But look at this. And he's just going oh so think about the stabby 200 yeah you can stab that at this yeah it finds gaps in between the pages where there were no gaps in between the molecules the the way that this shiv works is that it's actually got a so it's got an atom repellent. So it actually moves between the atoms and isn't

kind of experiencing the normal resistance that your regular shifts do because the phone books are partying like the Red Sea for this Moses of the night of the shifts. of the night, of the ships. This is like an amazing piece of technology to invented, right? Like this is incredibly game-changing. I like think of what this could do to surgery, to industrial applications. But this guy who's invented this, he can't just get past the order, you're going there up under the ribcage. Well, you've heard of military technology.

This is prison technology. Prison technology. Prison, and a lot of the inventions that they come up with in the prison work their way into our homes. And then before you know it, you'll have a shiv in that knife block on your kitchen bench. You know, you've got your bread knife, you've got your big cutter, you've got your filleting knife, you've got your steak, you've got your roast ate knife. And then there'll be a little shiv.

This is your shiv. So when you, you know, let's say you get a leg of lamb, you've got your state knife. And then there'll be a little shib. There's your shib. So when you, you know, let's say you get a leg of lamb, you want to shib that, get some, you know, you shib it, put some little whole garlic cloves into that leg of lamb, so they shib it all over. Very often, like you've got your wrist, your knives there for cutting, there for cutting, right?

Cutting your meat. But the shib, that's for sending a message. To your meat. To your meat. Or you know, you can... For the shiv, that's for sending a message. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates.

To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates.

To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. To your mates. It falls apart, it just opens up itself. Maybe you don't, maybe you don't want to cut this one, this pumpkin, right? But you want to send a message to the other pumpkins.

Yeah. Maybe the rest of it's family, the squashes. You just go out to the vine. You go out to the vine while they're still there. You teach them a lesson, their skin doesn't get in a stick. That's right. You set one example. Yeah.

All right. So what is that boiled down to? Boiled down to a prison and ship salesman. Prevent prison and ship salesman. And then it elaborates into the world of this guy who becomes a successful businessman from within. That's right. From within the prison.

He's come out of the prison and he's like, goes to, well, what do I know? All he knows is those four walls a presume there are more than four walls and a prison. If there's just four walls It's just a big dorm room. It's a dorm. It's a yard. And I think maybe some of the like you know Product executives, you know, there's TV executives. Well, there's also outside of the TV industry, there's product industry. And a lot of these product executives

are coming in and they go, look, this is a kind of a non-tapped idea market for us is prison technology and then they kind of, have you got any other ideas? Have you written any scripts? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, that's scripts, but I'm thinking these scripts. I don't know, I don't know. I'm thinking about branching out into film.

So I don't know. I got all this money. And we got to get ideas from somewhere. I'm just saying, if we wanted to expand this idea into further, if we wanted to see if there was what's happening in episode three or four. I want to see like a shift made from Japanese folded steel. Yeah, or Japanese folded toilet paper. There you go. They fold it so many extra times. And they wet it. And they mash it with liquor.

They wet it. They mash it. They wet it. They mash it. They dry it in the sun. They dry it in the sun. I think I was just picturing that he was mashing it with sort of like just like the back end of a screwdriver or something like that. I don't know why he's got a screwdriver. Why's he using that? Why was it using a shiver? You got a shiver. The shiver you were looking for has been in front of you realize this entire time.

He tried it. I think this is what gave him his this was gave him the idea for this Met for this power ship 200 right is that his you know he was shipping away and His screwdriver driver broke off into someone Because he found you know you just you can only get so many shivs out of a regular or three thousand shivs out of a standard screwdriver and they start to work your way through the majority of the prison population in South Australia you're like oh and now what am I supposed to do? Well, that's when you get mashing. You get mashing, you find

it way. You know, what about the, you know, the prison population of other states? That's just, you know, if you're a forward thinking shipment. Well, you, like Alexander the great, he wept for the, you know, we're notable prison populations to ship. He shipped his way to the top. Yeah, which in many ways, it would be, I guess, the bottom of regular society, the top of prison society. But then once you're at the top of prison society, you just got a little jump and grab. Yeah. And you're on the bottom run of regular regular. I guess at some point, if you just shift your way out they they must just let you out Because you're just emitting too many crimes. I'll also you've you've You've done us a bloody

Oh my god I designed a prison did you yeah? No, I feel like I would remember that though Well like like like not the good bits, but I did the electrical layout for a prison in South Australia. When I was in engineer, I told them we had to put the power outlets. Well, you know what? I've designed both an old folks home. Yeah. And the similar thing with you, I've decided with the hot water systems we're going to

build. Well, that's much more important. No, a lot of the lighting and the air condition. Then I also did that with a fire house, you know, like a fire, not like a house that's on fire, but the place where you go if you want to be like, wait for houses to catch on fire. Right. Right. What does that mean?

Fire station. Fire station. Yeah, sorry. No, no, no, that's all right. And today's episode instead of doing a doing 11 hours Live a day of podcast what we're doing is we're doing a one hour podcast after spending 10 hours together. Yeah, we spent There's been working for 15 hours or something. I was at a 15 hour shift at work, which was mostly standing around and not doing that much, but, you know, But you know, you've got to make a lot of light conversation and these kinds of things.

And that can really drain your resources of bullshit, Alistair, which is what you'll be tapping into. Which is, yeah, to be honest, is what this podcast is. It's my resources of bullshit. But, you know, the only part that it's affecting, it seems, is my vocabulary. Hey. All it's affecting is it seems, is my vocabulary. Hey. All it's affecting is my ability to talk. Yeah.

I don't think that's fine. Is there a sketch in sort of your resources? In, in, sorry. Brain resources. Brain resources. Yeah. Well, okay. So, well, we've got the markets.

Right? You've got your standard markets and you've got your markets for coffee and crude oil and Egyptian cotton or whatever and they all go. You've sold on some sort of exchange somewhere and you can live in. I love Boba. So crude. Well, yeah, but I'm thinking more of like there's international price indexes for these kinds of things. Stock market or some shit like that, right? Is there something like that, but for like,

where with all, and self-control and, you know, gumption? Yeah, right. So like when, when, when, when self self control the when the price of self control is up You could like exercise a lot of it. Yeah, and then and then that brings in money. Well, I mean this government subsidized Some of the practicalities of this as the concept need a bit of ironing out sure sure, but yeah, it's it's something that we How about this? It's iron man, but it's a guy who does some ironing. And I'll say, I hate it. Yeah. Is there something in?

Yeah. Right. And we may have already pitched this on the show before, right? But something like a Fiver or a Deliveroo or something or an Uber, but for self-control, right? So when you don't have self-control, as an app, you open it up on your phone, and they send someone around, you pay them five bucks or whatever, and they exercise self-control for you.

Right? So here's two ways that could go. One, there's a big plate of marshmallows in front of you, right? You know what you're like with those big plates of marshmallows? Just plates, marshmallows on a plate? Marshmallows on a plate.

What? Firstly, what a fucking insane way to serve marshmallows on a flat, flat, and I imagine they're only one marshmallow deep as well. It's just like you would get a sushi platter or something. It's just marshmallow. And then you reach for them and you're just knocking them off the plate. They're rolling off the table. Okay, well this could be a sketch.

Somebody who doesn't know when to use a bowl. Well, I think we've had a sketch about bowls before. But like, there's some things like corn chips. Sure. Or any kind of chips, really. You don't put them on a plate. They need to be in a bowl. It doesn't matter how shallow the bowl is, it just has to be a bowl.

Okay, but what about this? Right. You're making nachos. Yes. And then you're putting sort of cheese on there and it's holding all the chips together. Then it makes a plate okay. Absolutely. Yeah.

Okay. So I mean, I guess we're discovering some kind of emergent phenomena associated with, like they make their own bowl, they make their own structure, like fire ants. They're like, I guess Doritos are a lot like fire ants in many ways that when there's a flood of people wanting to eat them, they come together using cheese, to form a super, a super structure. Yeah.

But, okay, anyway, that's a possibility. It would also would have been the kind of thing that you would see floating around in Texas during those floods would be nachos. I imagine they're big nacho people down there. Oh, imagine you got soup, right? But it's on a plate that's so shallow that you can't, like, I guess the plate has to be really wide

if it all was soup on, right? But you can't even get the spoon under it to like get any, like it's shallower than the depth of the spoon. Yeah, that would be that would. Yeah, infuriating. What about this, right? Yeah, absolutely.

It's a restaurant you go to. All the food served you in big spoons and then you have a little bowl that you use to scoop it out of the spoon. There's all the food served on a knife. Yeah. And you just have bits of toast that you gotta scrape it off of the knife with. I mean, I like it.

You like it? I like it a I like it. Can we, how is this? There's a big cup in the middle of the table. Everybody has a little bottle in front of it. They got a pour, the water from the cup into the bottle. Or like half an orange? Sure, half an orange.

Like an empty, you know, like a squeezed orange half. It sounds like a nightmare, like a dream. Really? I think we just come up with an idea for a dream. Yeah. Oh, that's a cool podcast idea coming up with dream ideas. People listen to your podcast and you're giving their brain suggestions for dreams.

Hmm. Well, maybe they listened to it while they're sleeping. We just, you know, we just provide some imagery. I think that's a good idea. Even like, like all it is, it's like an 11 hour podcast. Yeah, right. Well, this is in our wheelhouse now. Okay, yeah.

And all it is, but there's a lot more silence than say the 100 episode that we did with 100 sketches, Andy. But there's a lot more silence than say the 100 episode that we did with a hundred sketches Andy It it's just a lot a lot of silence and then occasionally you're just going Eagle Eagle Eagle Eagle like that You know and then you just Yeah, well, I know but you won't hear it most of the time and it's so so occasionally It's just coming in, it's got some urgency so that the person's brain feels like it needs to react.

Yeah, you got to get that cut through. Yeah, you got to get that cut through. Because you just, you just, a lot of news out there in the subconscious media landscape. Yeah, and as you know, first of all, thank you to all the people who listened to the 100 episodes. Oh my God.

We've been getting tweets. We've been getting so many messages from people and it's actually incredibly lovely and gratifying and people have been saying really nice things. The people who listened, some people listen to the podcast all in one go, which is insane. It is craziness. And I don't know how to deal with it.

Yeah, I don't know how to deal with the generosity that came from, like, I know it's not a gent, like it's not necessarily a generous act, but it's a weird brave act and it feels generous because you listened to a thing that is longer than anything anyone should ever have to listen to. It's just so absurd. So, and, and, you know, people making the jokes that we, on the 200th episode that we would do 200 sketch ideas, obviously that's so ridiculous.

But today it came up that we were like, maybe we could do it. We, it came up with that, I don't think we have a choice. If this podcast is still going in another 100 episodes, we have to do that. I think it would take 24 hours, probably. Yeah, I dare say. There's a chance that we may do it. If anybody is working in audio compression technology, you've got approximately two years to get things to the point where we can actually feasibly give a 24 hour podcast.

It will be hopefully less than 500 meg. But the reason why I brought that up and thank you all for all the tweets is that one person said that they were listening to it when they went and they fell asleep and then when they woke up in the morning, it was still playing. Yeah. And we were still talking. And that's what I'm talking about with this new podcast, with

this obviously this dream suggestion podcast that it can't just be us continuously talking because we may not be affecting dreams in the way that we want to. Okay, Alistair. Let's just back it up slightly. All right, because we had about six ideas all on the road there, and I just want to hit back on some of them. Okay. Right. I like this, I know it was my idea, but I like this Uber Self-Control app thing, whatever it is, right?

It's where you get someone into exercise self-control for you. And I was going to say, I don't know whether it is that you're about to eat some food that you shouldn't, or they, and they stop you, or you just get someone in to not eat the food and then you eat the food. So they're exercising self-control and you don't have to. All right, so that's one thing. I really like the idea of just a big flat plate of marshmallows. I know it's not a sketch, right? But I think it's just a great visual. I think it could be a sketch. I think you get to a party, right?

And there's a plate of marshmallows there. And you look around and everything, like, yeah, everything's on place, the chips are on a plate, right? The tomato sauce is on a little plate. Sure, maybe some cherry tomatoes. I don't think this person knows about the concept of depth. Doesn't understand bowls, where things go. Yeah.

What about like, I mean, could they, could they be orange juice on a plate? Yeah. I mean, at first I just thought it was spilled, somebody had spilled it. No, I think that's genuinely, I thought it was spilled, somebody spilled it. I think that's genuinely, I think this is how they're serving it. I think they're serving.

This person is so bold. I can't believe I have someone like this in my life. Ironically they're bold and yet they're bold. Bold, they're bold. Bold. All right. Is this enough of a sketch idea? Yeah, I think that's absolutely a sketch idea.

It's such a weird thing to experience. Yeah, no, okay. So it's kind of like two people, not exactly bonding, but kind of realizing that they're in this thing. This place with people who, you know, it's like if in the movie Eyes Wide Shot, right? When Tom Cruise had gone to that weird sex party, if instead of everyone having sex with masks on, it had been just people eating inappropriate things off plates.

You know, be that and he's sort of going around baffled and almost amazed by this, yeah. Sure, yeah. Okay. You know, this strange world that he's got. Is it a bunch of rich people that are getting together? I think it's a bunch of rich people. Yeah. I guess it's like, it's for people who, I mean, I don't, this definitely does not need to be part of the idea, but imagine people who are so rich that, you know, space, space itself doesn't matter.

So you can have, you can waste a whole table on a bowl of soup. Surface area. Surface area. Surface area means nothing to me. And also spilling things wouldn't be an issue for them as well. A lot of us have to keep our juice mostly vertically. Yeah. And that's a prison.

You might not realize it. But having to keep your liquids in a container that is deeper. That goes up. Yeah, that goes up. That's your trapped. You think you have free will, but you don't. Because society and the laws of physics tell you what kind of container you can keep liquids in.

Firstly, they tell you it has to be a container. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. I like to let something just spread out until it's shallow enough that the surface tension at the edges that holds it in and that's enough for me. I think the ideal way to have a glass of water is on a sheet of glass. Well, I think you just in a room and it just covers the floor. Great. You just pour the water onto the ground. And then you kind of, you just do a handstand. And then you just kind of walk on your hands,

with dragging your tongue along the ground. Fuck. That's a crazy handstand. I don't know if that's even possible. You'd have to have your arms out so far. It'll be down. Yes. And to walk, how are you like, walk, yeah, you're walking with your shoulders. You wow. Wow. You got to severely injure your neck.

All right. And then you've written a note there of something else because I interrupted you. Well, no, I was just taking notes because I know you were going to go through a bunch of these many ideas. Yeah, but I've forgotten all of them. Yeah, it was anything else I've forgotten. Well, I mean, and so I wanted to like take notes so that we could double check to see whether or not they're sketches. So I understand that the self-control fiber thing is an idea, but I think how is it a sketch right now? Just a couple of guys at a party, right? Okay, but like, you know, like, what are you?

How do these people feel that they're actually exercising self-control because they're just kind of offsetting it? Yeah, or are you getting someone else to exercise self-control because they're just kind of offsetting it. Yeah, are you getting someone else to exercise self-control? Or it is somebody who comes in and stops you from doing the thing you don't want to do, but then that's pretty much just a personal trainer or like a pair until something like that. And I think that's also the sketch that I think that maybe

a Schumer was accused of stealing from a bunch of other places because it's that one where you basically have somebody slap the food out of your hand, you know. Oh, okay, well then. But I need somebody to stop me from doing that sketch, clearly. Andy, I've just become that person for you. So look, thank you. You slapped that thought out of my mind.

Is there in the dream part idea, which I know is kind of a, is it just a, it's not really a sketch idea at all? But what if these people who started this, something of this sort, was just like as a, as a fuck around, they had, they ended up having some weird, deep impact on society that what they thought at the time, sort of much like these ASR, ACSR stuff, we're in. ASMR. ASMR, yeah, there you go.

These people started creating those, and they just took off and people loved it and started listening to somebody and just a great way to get a little tingle on, get a maybe relax. Get a little tingle. People for some reason really like these fuck with your dreams, podcasts, right? But then they hand, you know.

I like that within our idea, we've written in the fact that our idea is successful. I know. Well, in this circumstance, I do not picture it being us. I don't think that would happen. It's a shame. Yeah, but that's fine. But that's why it's a fantasy world.

That's why it's fantasy. All my fantasies are involved. Good things happening to people who aren't me. And so the things that they're saying are just kind of like dumb fuck around like you know, legal, legal, legal, legal. Oh, you're a captain, you're a captain, you're a captain, you're a captain. Get the captain here. Get the captain here. Like that, that kind of thing.

And then it's some ends up having some weird deep impact on society. Like people change in some way. Yeah. Yeah, I also think it could go down, and this would be more of a visual thing, right? Like I can picture this being a bit more interesting to watch on camera, not much more interesting. Good, a bit more interesting, right?

Because the way I was picturing it wasn't visually interesting. And I don't think I can really shift from that vision, which is not a very good vision. Look, because what your vision is, right, is a fucking podcast and there's nothing more tedious than that, right? Yeah. So, here's my idea, right?

Instead of a podcast, it's somebody who comes around and does this in person at your house, right? So, they come into your bedroom and they describe things to you, right? While you sleep. Right. And the twist is that they steal from you as well. See? I mean, that's something, isn't it?

Already, that is more than just a podcast. And it doesn't involve any of our ideas being successful. But I like the idea that this, this, this, this occurs for people who are so boring, either they're corporate kinds of soulless droids or whatever, that they have nothing to dream about, they have no imagery, so they hire a creative dream artist to come around and to just whisper some vivid imagery and stuff like that in there. And then they can get something out of that. They can get an escape or whatever it is. Yeah, so it's kind of like the game, you know, that movie, the game. But for people who just want

some joy in their dreams. And so maybe you've got one of those kind of like those Foley like sound boxes that you'd use for radio plays He does the full thing it's amazing I really I really Believed in the dream. I really believed I was dreaming about a guy beating his chest I really believed I was dreaming about a guy beating his chest. I was supposed to be footsteps, but I guess, but the dreams do interpret sounds as different things. You hear a car horn and in your dream it's like,

what's this mariachi band doing here in my wedding? You wouldn't be upset if a mariachi band appeared at your wedding. I fucking love it if a mariachi. People could play in about mariachi bands. I think there's a bit of a trope that they're annoying or something like that. I think it's the best. Yeah, it would be the best. Man, I don't care if they only have one or two songs, right?

They're really good songs. I'm loving this. I think it's a video. There's a video of some Mary Hatsi people playing to a beluga. And that's a song. And beluga's can't be wrong. Yeah. I cannot. Three out of four beluga say they love Mary Hatsi music.

And when it comes to music, I do trust the smartest mammal in the ocean. Yeah. The scuba diver. The scuba diver. So, okay. Right, so I think that's, I think that's right. You happy with my variation, aren't it? Absolutely.

And as I always am. Dream whispers. It's basically like the BFG, right? He's just a guy, right? And a BFG do something to your dreams. Yeah, that's the BFG's job is he catches dreams in desert and he blows them into people's bedrooms through a long trumpet. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And so where does he hold them in his lung? He gives them in jars. Oh, in jars. And so then he puts them in his mouth.

He somehow gets it into the tube to blow it into the, you know, maybe he puts in his mouth and then he blows it out. He drinks the, yeah, so then you get, that's weird. That you get a bit of, but the lion, but then also with your dream. I guess you'll get some of that anyway, even if he just puts it into the tube and he spits into the tube. And blow in there. So you get some BFG juice and the FJJs. But then also I guess a great dream, which I guess is the that's why he does it while people are asleep. I think I think that's probably it. While people will sleep on want people to sleep. I think that's probably it. Well, people will sleep on it.

Well, people will sleep on it. Can he blow the trumpet at your face while you're awake and you daydream? Yeah, that's interesting. I can't remember if that is explored in the book. It seems like it would be. That's a logical place for it to go. And can he weaponize it in any way?

I think he does. I think he blows some nightmares into a group of sleeping other giants and causes them to fight each other. Really? What's that they have a fight based on the dreams that they had? Look, Alistair, what I'm being put,

I've somehow found myself in the position where I am trying to defend against a hostile interrogator, a book that I've read as a child. It's actually the first book I ever remember reading. Wow. Right, so I was in grade two probably. And to be placed on the stand here and ask to defend the logic of the BFG by you, a guy who has not read the BFG it would seem.

I imagine I'd probably like it a lot. who has not read the BFG it would seem. I imagine I'd probably like it a lot. Yeah. But I've been reading a lot of kids' books and recently, and a lot of their logical consistencies left me wanting. So is this a sketch, right? Yeah.

Somehow, somebody's in a position much like I find myself just now, and then very quickly a court is assembled. And there's an interrogator and there's a jury and that sort of thing. And there's a judge. And they have to defend themselves. Or whatever it is that they were saying. Based off of just...

Based on not really remembering. This feels like something that... It's really long time ago. I mean, this feels like... Freefay outlines. No, no, but Andy, it does feel like something that I'm a guy. I mean, this feels like free fire yet. Launch. No, but Andy, it does feel like something that could, you know, this is the kind of thing that could really, like, just could

really go viral on Facebook because people can relate to that. They love, you know, people are always complaining about how we don't argue about minor details and things anymore because we always just look up on IMD and things like that. This, this seemed to be in the past, the, the best thing that we're in people's lives was when they argued about who, like, you know, was that Michael Keaton in that movie?

My favorite bits of life before the internet, where all the bits were going, but like, no, no, it's not that, it's, oh. Ah. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home.

Experience the magic at your favorite store. Or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping and returns. Need it faster? Pick up your order today in store. The best gifts are yours at Nordstrom. Who starred in multiplicity? He had the head that was brown. No, it was earlier than that. And it was like a curlier, tighter curl than brown. No, it was earlier than that. And it was like a curlier, tighter, curl than brown.

I think we might be talking about a different thing. Oh, well, let's hope that one day, a source of knowledge doesn't come out that ruins this moment. This precious moment. But I think you're right. OK, so it is, it is a, almost like a judge duty or a televised argument, right? Yeah. In a legal kind of framework, but people trying to decide whether it was Michael Keaton in that movie.

And they call witnesses, but there can be no facts brought into this. They can be no research. All it is is various people's different recollections or random bits of circumstantial evidence that they present to try and make this case. Yeah. And so then the answer is most likely, absolutely incorrect. But the important thing is that they convinced the jury. Yeah, yeah, that within the moment they've won. Yeah. And they just win basically a bunch of endorphins.

Yeah. And the jury reads out the decision. We find Michael Keaton in that movie. Or not in that movie. Like, yeah, Michael. How do you find in that movie or not in that movie. Or not in that movie. How do you find in that movie or not in that movie? We find the lead of train spotting to be Michael Keaton. I like that a lot.

And so it just appears in the room, right? It will just be kind of like a judge, lecturing of some sort, you know, maybe standing behind it. It's kind of, I guess, could be in the style of sort of judge Joe Brown and sort of judge Judy. It's, it's always like instantaneous court or something like that. That's a very clumsy and not at all appealing name, but it's like instant justice or something like that or instant arbitration.

Okay, so there's people sitting there, somebody says, should we look it up? Right? I'll just Google it. And we're like, no, no, no. Let's send this to instant arbitration or let's send this to instant court. Still less. Instant court. Just for those who can't see any, he's really searching. I'm looking around and I've got nothing. I'm like, magi-strait, magi-strait, imagi-strait. Magi-strate away? Look. Yeah.

But I think that's a matter. I think maybe what the name doesn't capture, which I love every attempt. I think you're capturing the instantness of it and how quickly it's happening. But I think you're not capturing the flimsiness and the pointlessness and how incorrect the court is within that.

So there's... But I like framing it as an alternative to go... So it's in the current world and it's an alternative to looking it up. You just decide it. You know, I mean, you know, for it to really take off on your Facebook's and your other social media platforms, maybe what's the Chinese one? Way... Way...

Way, ping. Way, we, we, way. Oh, yeah, what? Weibo, weibo, weibo. Weibo. Yeah. And for the takeoff on there... See, weibo is getting to the bottom of what the Chinese one is called. This is exactly

the kind of thing that it would be useful for. Yeah, I think it should be like called the argument court. Yeah. Argue court, argument court. Something that's real, that the common man will see on Facebook, will paste it at the top of the video, maybe at the bottom, will explain in brackets even more.

It's the court that settles arguments like that. You know, that said, you know, and then we go, what's the, what's the thing? What's the Chinese Twitter? Weibo, Weibo, Weibo. Now, I'd like to point out that this is different to the podcast with Judge John, what's it called? Judge John Hopkins or something, Judge?

The guy who does the yeah Quaterpetti claims or whatever it is judge John oh, yeah, no, no, yeah, American comedian Yeah, that's that's a more personal Disagreements about things in their lives and that sort of thing. This is just minutiae and like working out things where there are actual fact And there are actual answers. Yeah. But they're just gonna, you know, yeah. Yeah, look, we're nothing like him. First of all, he has his own courtroom, right? Yeah, it's a podcast, but yeah, sure.

Okay, right. Well, this will be in video. We were a lot like him. In a lot of ways. He kind of looks like a cross between us. I mean, he's hugely successful. Yeah, I see. Look at that. He kind of looks like a cross between us. I mean, he's hugely successful. Yes, I see. Look at that. It's like that, but not successful.

It's exactly the same, but nobody likes it or wants to watch you or listen to it. Yeah, you see there you go, but except for like, you know, we'll have the things on there. But every time we want it to be incorrect, we want it to be the thing that feeds the stupidness of families. They keep that insularness, they keep families dumb. Whole families with incorrect notions. Generations, ignorance. Handed to precious gems of ignorance.

Handed down from generation to generation. Whole families that don't believe in very basic, you know, very basic scientific things because they've just, they've, instead of looking anything up, they've decided to work it out from first principles based on the very small amount of information that they have. That's right. So, almost superstition like their belief that Michael Katen was the guy in that thing. And that a court also should decide facts is very funny because it's not using reality. It's using persuasiveness of argument. So the way I see it, the way that it's come together,

that the person that you're describing has a tight curl in their hair. And from what you sir are saying, the only person that that could be is Michael Keaton. I mean, he doesn't really have tight curly hair. He doesn't have much hair at all. And I think you'll find that in the film industry, there's a lot of use of wigs and other... It's a tight curl. They have entire departments. They have a hair and makeup department. It's entire job is to make hair look like other hair. The fact that you are basing your argument on a recollection of hair

shows just how flimsy this whole thing is, tamed by a thread and that thread is not the curly nor tight. It's a tight curl and it's Michael Keaton. Look, I mean, that wasn't obviously the best possible version of this. Yeah, we did just say that example. Okay, you used were like, like, like, it was you were involved in the constant bringing up of Michael Keaton. I feel like I'm completely to blame. No, I'm, I'm pretty much as well as, I brought him up as well, I lost it. Well, let's do another version of it again,

and then you bring up Michael Keaton just so that I don't feel bad. How about that? Okay. So, in the defendant, you say... I say that it was Michael Keaton. Okay. Okay, I lost it.

But you were telling me earlier that you've never done anything good for your wrist, right? Well, that's true, yeah. And I just, like, there were a couple of guys just like you. You know how you're a couple of guys? Absolutely. There were a couple of guys also like you, but they were in the United States of America, right?

And they realized that they had never done anything good for their wrist, right? And they realized that they had never done anything good for their wrist, right? And they looked at their their wrist, their empty wrist, the bald wrist, the bald naked wrist. Yeah, right. Of two men. Of two men. They looked at their, their four wrists and they thought, you know, I would love to get a designer watch. But what they realize is that through research, the designer watches in your department stores, in your mayors, your David Joneses, your seers, your zealors. Sure. Sure. Your maises. Fifth Avenue.

Maises. Fifth Avenue. Yes, what? Is it sex Fifth Avenue? I think I've been saying maises Fifth. Maises is a different thing. It's probably a maises on Fifth Avenue. Anyway, the point is, right? Is it sex fifth? I think it's sex fifth avenue. I think I've been saying Macy's fifth. Macy's is a different thing. It's probably a Macy's on fifth avenue. Anyway, the point is, right? They could cost what, $1500? Maybe $2,500. $2,500? And upwards. Why would they even start putting higher prices on it? And so they started movement watches. Movement watches,

MVMT.com. Slash think tank. Is your place where you can go and you can get a stylish, minimalist, very tasteful. We both got these watches on. I just did something nice for my wrist. You did actually, you got a watch, you got a gold movement watch, I thought you were crazy. Yeah, but you know what? Turned it off. And then you put it back on again and it looks good. Yeah, and then it turns, I'm probably one of the most stylish people you've ever met now. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. And I got one and I love it. Absolutely. I see you wearing it all the time. Nice big people been complimenting you on that's nice big face. Nice big face. Big trusting face. Yeah. You know, absolutely. It's you know, it's like, you know, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a

public accountant. Sure. And, you know, so these, these watches, they start at $95. What's that? They start at $95. See that again? They start, Alistair, these watches. How much?

They're prices. They start at $95. That's crazy. Yeah, it's insane, right? It is insane. Okay. But if you go to MVMT.com for it's less think tank you'll get 15% off free shipping free returns and a watch and a watch as well

I just yeah, fuck Alistair. It's good thing you're here because I would not have mentioned that and people would have thought that doesn't sound like so great a deal Yeah, but hey, it's all in there, right? MVMT.com for it's I think thank they all, so I think I think I'm getting these numbers right. They've sold over a billion watches. No, I think it's a million. It's more than a trillion countries. Well, yeah, no, I actually sorry, I apologize for correcting you. Yeah, and that's, that's amazing.

Yeah, I think they sell more watches than there are big maps in the universe. Yeah, there are big maps in the universe. Yeah, then there are big max in the universe. Yeah, which is wild. Anyway, so the MVMT.com forward slash think tank. Yes, of a beautiful watch. Oh, absolutely. And support the watches.

Okay, I didn't support you. I forgot what we were talking about before. Hey, is that court space? So it's John Hopkins. It's not. No, John Hopkins. John Hopkins University. What is his name that court? So John Hopkins. No, it's not. Hopkins, what? John Hopkins University. What is his name? It's not John Hopkins. Is it Judge John? Man, see this again, this is exactly the sort of thing that we would have to

resolve in our court that is nothing at all like his court, whoever he is and whatever he's doing. And don't listen to his podcast. Right, I've heard it's very good. You might fall in love with it. You know, it's like when you don't want to introduce somebody to somebody. Oh, absolutely. You're right, because you're worried they'll fall in love with them.

Still I'm away from you. Yeah, yeah, no, that's happened a lot. But I used to, because I love them so much. This person, whoever I didn't want to fall in love with somebody else. I love them so much. I wanted to't want to fall in love with somebody else. I love them so much. I wanted to see them happy. Wow.

I tried to help them find somebody I really good. If I could you'd set them up with someone. If anything, you'd be worse in the relationship to help them, to drive them away to find somebody better. I'd be worse. Yeah, you would treat them badly. Yeah. Because you knew they deserve better. No, they deserved good. They deserve somebody to really help them. They set them up with somebody

and treat them nice. And then, you know, but then they would really see how good you are. Setting somebody up with somebody better, the best thing you could do, which doesn't make that make you the better person. So shouldn't they be with you? Yeah, that's true. But then you're somebody who wants to set them up with somebody else. Yeah, but you don't know how bad a person that I am. It's my starting's badness. Right. Yeah. So I don't know if setting them up with a really good person was quite enough to get me to the level of that other person. Just, you know, so I had to, when you're, when you do this kind of thing, you really got to take that into account

and you can't be an amateur instead of make those kinds of quite basic mistakes. Basic mistakes, that's entry level. Now, if you're trying to make somebody happy by getting rid of them, is that reduced? If you love somebody, you set them free. I mean, it certainly doesn't work with children. No, but I mean, I think the kids will probably come back

unless they pick some up or something like that. I guess that's the problem with that whole argument. If somebody loves you, if you love somebody, set them free, and I guess if they come back, then they quite love you. Or they didn't get grabbed by someone. Yeah I mean they could have just grabbed by someone. That's a huge flaw in that. They probably got grabbed It's the grabbers you've got to watch out for well the grabbers really ruin your chances of at pure true love, like reciprocated love.

They're those big gulls on the beach with a little turtles are trying to get to the ocean, right? Because you've set those turtles free, right? And then there's those big gulls who swoop down and grab them. Yeah. And gulls, you don't normally see them as sort of being a meat eating kind of. No, but when you see them go after those little turtles you realize that those girls are Howdy-how they're not very ethical. No, they're not those beaks are

vicious. Oh, but yeah, I always sort of picture my finger going in there You know like those ones those you know set of medium-sized gals that come in for your chips or fries I know them. Yeah, yeah, Pacific girls. Is that a Pacific girl? Yes. Yeah. I picture, I think I, it's the same fear that I have. Is that what you said? Did you say Pacific? No, I didn't say Pacific girl. No, no. I think I might have said Indian girl. Right. Yeah. Sure. I have the same, the same fear for those that, that fear of getting my finger stuck in a beak as having like a set of ice rink skates roll over my you know, slide over my finger if I fall on the ground. I'm scared of that and I've haven't been off skating in probably 20 years. Yeah. I'm like I am

years. I'm like I am er rationally afraid of ice skates. Living as we do in Australia in a really warm climate. Nothing freezes over even in the depths of winter. I'd have to actually go to an ice skate in Rink. And then I guess once I was there go to an ice skate and then you know pretty much I'd have to hire my own skates to get out onto the ice. Yeah. I guess there's a sketch in sort of like somebody who's just has that fear all the time. So they go see their psychologist and then they tell them about that and they just go it bothers me all the time. I haven't been skating for 20 years and I just think about it and you know

I saw I saw some I saw some ice hockey briefly in the sort of sports highlights at the end of the news for it was the You know the Know it's like them, you know the play of the day. Mm-hmm. And it was like, you know Gila Flore, you know, to put a puck in a net that anyway and then the guys walls were gonna do exposure therapy. That's the only way that we can get you rid of that. And then suddenly you're just spending a piece of time on a nice peak. I mean, but to really expose you to this, we're gonna have a little light down there.

On the ice while people skate towards you. To do that. And not good skaters either. Well, I mean, good skaters that would sort of build a false. I think you're gonna know, you're not gonna be able to trick your brain. To thinking that you're really at risk.

So we've got this kind of, we've got all these seven-year-olds who are just learning how to skate. But they're heavy, seven-year-olds. Yeah, absolutely. And they're all quite bulky and boisterous, and they can get up a fair bit of speed. I mean, they're good. They're good skaters. You know, like, let's say with a hockey team,

you know, there's often that culture with young hockey teams that after they play a game, you know, if they do well, a family might take them to McDonald's. Well, this is kind of the reverse of that. This is a, a ticket you can go to McDonald's. You can go to McDonald's.

If they really eat really well at McDonald's, then the parents take them out, I scared them. I said it a little bit of the ice. And they haven't done a lot of ice skating. Yeah, I think that's really funny. It's almost like that, you know that the fear of heights, I think, for a lot of people comes from,

like when you're near an edge, you're worried that you'll throw yourself over it. I think the fear of ice skating, getting your fingers cut off in an ice skating rink is for a lot of people that if you're near an ice skating rink, the fear that you will go in and hire some skates and go out onto the ice and then lie down and get someone to run over your fingers.

That's really what you're scared of, right? Because you don't trust yourself to not do that. Absolutely, yeah, I don't. But look, and in terms of how rational a fear that is, I have been grown up and call back never heard of it happening. But, and I don't think I even thought about it happening until I moved to Australia. Wow, so it's almost something that increases with distance, you know?

Yeah. I guess it's like, you know, in Germany they have the auto barn, right? Everyone drives really fast, so everyone's a really good driver and there's never any accidents. There's never any, and everybody, everybody is a good driver. Quebec, everybody's constantly ice skating. There's never been a single ice skating accident. In Australia, we're both inexperienced

with driving at high speeds and skating on the ice. And people in cars are constantly hitting ice skaters. Constantly. It's not stopped. And the ice skaters, their skates are coming off and cutting off the driver's fingers. It's it's a nightmare, right? It's an actual nightmare. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's closest to being a nightmare That is you know that dream podcast. I think that would be great If you were you would make sense to try to make people have nightmares.

For people who just wanna have excitement in that time. Why would you do that? Well, I mean, people like scary movies. Do you think people like scary movies also like scary dreams? I mean, it's crazy waking up in the middle of the night. You're sweating in your heart is pounding. Cause something.

Don't you have at the time when I woke up in the night from some kind of dream, and I looked down next to the bed, and there was a man lying next to the bed. Oh my God. Yeah, like just lying, and I looked at Carly, and I looked down at the man lying next to the bed.

And then I realized I had taken off my clothes in such a way that there was like pants lying down and then a shirt and then like I guess my jumper or something for the head But it took me so long And then in that just yeah in that just sheer brain Stopping terror to even process that such a thing was possible. Oh my God. I was like, I can't do I alert Carly to this and get her to run or something, but then that is going to scare this person. Oh, it was.

Yeah, that is one of the scariest things I could ever picture. Is there a way of using a terror for comedy? But like without it. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. What about if there's, it's like that, but there's no release in terms of like, it's actually just close. What about the person wakes up?

Oh God! It's just something, somebody just laying there. And... And you're so scared, and then the person's just looking back at you. And you're like.... Yeah okay. Is that someone there? Yes. I'm laying next to your bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate this. This is getting actually so much creepier.

And you go, what are you doing? I'm just having a rest. Oh, okay, that's kind of okay. That's actually a huge weight off my mind. What are you doing in my house? And why do you need a rest? I just need a rest from all the murdering. I'm so tired.

Oh, I'm so scared again. It, it was fine, but he just needed a rest. Oh. Is there any comedy in this? No, not at all. I mean, there is comedy, I think, in the idea of like something that's so horrible. Yeah. Right. But then you then just have to get used to, right? So the idea of a man lying next to your bed, right,

is awful. You wake up and he's there. But if he's been there for a week, you know, a month, or like he's just a guy who just sort of, there's some kind of a monster like this hideous apparition that follows you around and it just becomes a part of your life and you maybe even start like in some way incorporating it into your life you're asking at things you're getting it to remind you of stuff right you know hideous apparition you said you said you would tell me to call the mechanic and you

didn't. Well, I think I did have a hideous apparition that is this thing that spooks you and it's just something that's been haunting your house, right? And then suddenly kind of is always following you in your periphery. And you would be so terrified at the beginning, right? Maybe for a week, two weeks, maybe a month. But we're a lot of these haunted house movies and things like that. Don't go is what happens six months down the road. Yeah, but it's just normalized.

This is just your life now. Yeah. And you realize, oh, there's just something that follows me that looks like a person is constantly sort of jumping out and things like that. And now it's just a normal thing. And I guess you kind of interact with it on a more cordial basis. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I guess it's still got to be horrible in some ways. Still got to be utterly horrible. And I guess it... I can't do this. You know? horrible. And I guess it, you know, but, but what you know, you just go about your day. Yeah. And then I guess the thing that annoys you the most about it is the fact that it's so, it's voice is so difficult to understand. You're like just clear throat. But I think over time you just learn what it was saying.

Yeah, but but but I like the idea that you that you it winds up coming back. So after a period you get used to it and then you start getting getting more irritated by its little quirks. Right? By little things about like you do with people in your life. The way they peas. Yeah, that kind of thing. The way they slurp when they sue. And then it becomes a different kind of horror. Like a Chinese water torture.

Yeah. Like it used to be, it used to be sort of like, the way that he jumped out and startled me, that scared me. But now it's his idiosyncrasy. It's kind of the way in which he boars me as well, but also just the tiny details. Yeah, and maybe he's made me realize that I'm not a good person as well. And he's made me realize that also that this might be what the afterlife is. And that's truly terrifying. Maybe I could be in some... He might be just trapped in there and he was a person like me who maybe

let a good life and yet the afterlife is... Yeah, wow. It's just arbitrary and... Where you can't communicate. And you're just, Oh, I'm so frustrating. God, I think that's definitely a sketch. Yeah, I think good. Somebody dealing with apparition six months down the road. I think look, I think we're technically there.

I just want to. I'd find sketches. Oh, yeah, I mean, we're technically at like seven or eight. Okay, great. I love a technicality. Yeah, but I think the guy laying next to the bed. Yeah. So he's laying next to the bed.

Oh, he's stressing me out. I'm just sitting here. Yeah. Like that. And then, and then he you go could you leave any of I couldn't possibly I'm just I'm like what are you tired from and and then maybe he was doing something stupid in the house like like you know I was like I was just making myself a sandwich

I look weird more stuff funny. Yeah, I mean, like, but say this guy's really, really tired, right, he can't leave, because he's so tired. Like, what do you do? Do you put him in the bed? Who went, like, come in the bed? Put him in the bed. Put him in you in your part. Yeah.

Right? You know, like, he's, he's, he, he just gets some rest and then you can leave. All right. Oh, I can't get comfortable. All right, will you want my pillow? Yes, please. Tell me a story.

Okay. Okay, once upon a time there were three little pairs. Oh no, I've heard that one. Let's do something. Yeah, I mean, I think so. Yeah. I mean, it's so horrifying. Yeah. Look, I'm going to write down. Okay, sure.

So it's the idea is it a man lying next to you bed when you wake up. And it turns it, yeah, and you just wake up and it's so scary. And then you just want them to go. But in a way, he has unfinished business, which is that he hasn't slept. Yeah. No, I will go. You won't hurt us. I couldn't, I'm too tired. I couldn't, I will go. You won't hurt us. I couldn't. I'm too tired. I couldn't.

I couldn't. Couldn't. Look, if you just let me do sleep, I'll just go. I was going to hurt you, but I won't. No, I just want to sleep. I don't know if he says he's going to hurt you, but. Oh, it's interesting. I think it's nice to think that maybe, you know, that that he's changed his mind

because it was terrible. And if you're generous towards him, he won't look. This is the end of this episode. Yeah, I mean, it's, I think we were talking about a man who's so tired. He just needs to rest. I think, I think, I think in a way, we're trying to tell ourselves something.

Yeah. And we just don't know how to communicate. This is our, this is our first practice. Yeah, a trapped. Okay. The first sketch I think was all about dreams. No, the last one is about a man who's desperately tired. No, the first sketch was about a prison

shib salesman. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that was the best sketch of this. Yeah, I definitely started strong. Yeah. Then there's the flat plate for marshmallows, which I like that so much. That's really interesting to me. But you guys go to a party. Eminem's just on a plate. Just Eminem's on a flat plate.

Not even a plate, a chopping board. A chopping board. Eminem's a flat on a chopping board. A real thick chopping board. So when they fall, they really fall. Like they tumble, they roll. They tumble, they roll. They tumble, they roll. They tumble, they roll. We got rich people buying dream artists. So they know that it's just they have nothing left. Well, they never had anything. They never had anything. They were

just purely technical business minds. But they want to, and the way that they've overcome that is by having money so that they can buy experiences, big boats, having a big boat is an experience. Yeah, and then having a big boat is apparently a different and better experience. Better experience. And also the important thing is that poor people can't have those experiences.

But then also, because of the person that this person is, this rich person, they can't have regular experiences that poor people can have like regular dreams. So that's why they pay somebody to basically dictate dreams, suggestions to their subconscious. I could even be that like they do have poor dreams, right? They just have regular dreams like everyone else. So you want a dream artist who can come in and can give you rich dreams. No, rich dreams. So if you're rich in your day-to-day life, you don't want to be dreaming about poor shit. Yeah, like eating a raw carrot.

Yeah, so they come in and they they they they they described you really Some choice and luscious and expensive gold can be our yeah Lip messages That's right Diamond eyeball trousers. Yeah, all like it's stuff There's a small claims court for facts and many little arguments that isn't anything like John Hodgman's. Judge John Hodgman, yeah, it could be John Hodgman.

Yeah, I think it is John Hodgman. John Hopkins, I think, might be like a medical hospital, teaching hospital or something. Teaching hospital. Yeah, but it's about stupidity. Or is it about more about stupidity than it is about? There's no truth that comes out of it. If anything, it breeds falseness.

Yes, celebrates it. Okay, fear of, okay, this is a person who has the fear of getting their fingers cut off, whilst ice skating, who goes to see their psychologists and bothers them so much. And then the way they haven't been to an ice skating for 20 years with the way that the psych decides to deal with it is by making them go through exposure therapy and then they're now much closer, much higher chances of getting their fingers cut off through ice skating rinks and I think what happened

the worst thing is fear isn't it? The fear is worse. Well, I think that you know maybe they actually get all their fingers cut off and that's the only way in which they that's freedom. Yeah. Yeah. So then and then they pay the psychiatrist because if happily happily, you're grappling with the whole thing. No. With pleasure, but not with these. Then there's just a guy laying next to a bed sketch, which is just somebody wakes up in the night and just a mess.

There's the full grown man just laying next to their bed. But I think the apparition thing is more. Yeah, the hideous apparition. I mean, this is like, yeah, it's thinking about like, it's like a horror movie hideous apparition kind of scenario, but six months down the road. Yeah, and then maybe it almost becomes like an odd couple kind of a thing. Maybe the hideous apparition has to go and get a job, a start paying rent. Yeah.

Who knows? I think it would only be fair. But I guess, I think an odd couple, if they haven't already done this, an odd couple where one of them is a ghost. But you know what I think, one of the biggest problems with that is that, and I think it comes down to a very

basing in human interaction, is that the reason why there would be troubles getting that to work is that you can never punch a ghost. And in the end, all interactions come under and function under a mutual agreed threat of destruction that we would do. And if you can't destroy the other person's, hence the ghost. But punching. By punching, then I don't know if he would ever pay rent. Yeah.

Just thought I would just put this out there real quick. I'll, when I mentioned before diamond trousers, I think of the most scale of hardness. Right. And I think that's great. So it's a scale that you use to measure the hardness of different things. And it goes from the lowest level, which is like talc or something all the way up to diamonds, which is the hardest thing. You put different things on that scale. And how easily they can be scratched or used to scratch something else. But something about a scale of hardness, but it's

to do with difficulty. And so how hard different things are to do or to achieve. So we rank everything that every undertaking and you put it on a scale of hardness. So that's good. But like black diamond, black diamond like ski tracks. Yeah. They're pretty up there. They're hard.

Anyway, that's not important. The important thing. I don't want to write it down. The important thing. I don't want to write it down. The important thing is. I want to get it in there. I want to take it in there. Do you want it? Thank you so much for listening to the podcast.

Another enormous thank you to everyone who listened to the 11 hour episode, 100. Yeah, that's craziness. We think that's the best thing ever. A bunch of people after that have donated to the Patreon, Patreon, which we love so much. Thank you very much. Yeah, so Alistair, you would let's let's let's show some respect to these guys. Thank you so much to Nico oxman and

Finlay Williams and Jack Henderson and a crazy large Thank you to Steve Hacklin Who I may have already mentioned, but his donation was unbelievably substantial. But everybody's donation is equally worthy of thank you. But and you can always donate at the Patreon. Thank you so much.

To and thank. Thank you so much. We care about you deeply in a deep way. Yes, and I would go further than that, Alistair. Yeah. And I would say that we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

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