Two In The Think Tank - 111 - "YOU BE ME" with LAURA DAVIS

Episode Date: December 26, 2017

YBM, Converted Maze House, Eternal Pits, Torture Ikea, Fashion Prison, Uncle Wiley, Slime Your Way to the Top Bountiful and endless thanks to Laura Davis for joining us on this episode. Check out her hilarious and masterful show Ghost Machine at the upcoming Melbourne International Comedy Festival. And special thanks to King's Ear Level Patreon supporter Alan for providing us with the words "Homeless, Story and Bingo" for this ep. You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!) Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here Blessings to George Matthews for returning to produce this one. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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from our great mates. Hello, I'd welcome to two in the thing tank to show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy Trombley-Bertschor. And I am James Matthews-Allister. And we have a special guest here with us today. Hello, my name is Laura Davis. It's Laura Davis, everybody. It's my real one, too. It's your real one, yeah.

And I don't know. We're just trying to mix things up. To be honest, it is very much like a relationship that has gone stale and even beyond stale to the point where it's going moldy. Did you read that in a Cleo? Just like swap names for a day. Yeah, absolutely. You'll try anything.

That's roleplay. I'll be you and you'll be me. That is the most dangerous roleplay of all. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You could learn a lot about yourself. And you could mock a lot. You could. You could like do like a parody, like do an aggressive parody of me. I want to make love to somebody whose caricature caricature my features. Yes. In the worst light possible.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, sort of dim light. I think it's fluorescent. Fluorescent, of course. Oh, in like a 7-11. Yeah. Somebody who's pretending to be me in a 7-11. Yeah. Like, with things like that.

Oh, I'm out. Yeah. I'm off sugar. So I'm having to buy a pair. Pairs have sugar in them. I'm just saying. But I guess as long as you're getting the fiber, that's okay.

And that absorbs the sugar, I think. Doing like a thing that people sometimes want done to them during sex is to like be talked mean to, right? But like to ask someone to do a mocking impersonation of me. Right, like, do a short night of course, come back. Yeah, yeah, come back. Pretty much later.

It really take me to town. Play me as the villain in the movie of my own life, please. I mean, it's pretty interesting that doing that, like a couple, doing that setup where they pretend to meet in a bar. But their dress is you. And your dress is them. And you... Is it funny to have them...

They organize to meet up in the bar and we'll be like, we'll come as ourselves when we first met. But one of the two people doesn't realize they're supposed to be coming as themselves. They come as the other person. So yeah, first opening shot, you see the one who's sitting at the bar, ordering a drink or possibly possibly the woman, I suppose. I guess in these traditional senses,

in these sort of tropey movie things, you often see the woman waiting at the bar to be approached, right? And then the man... Like a watering hole. Like a watering hole, possibly a dive bar? Or a billet bomb. Or yeah, maybe they're at a billet bomb

and there's just a guy serving drinks. And there's some lions sort of circling in the distance. That's good, yeah. And then... And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then.

And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. sort of flesh eating, and the crisis kind of thing. I'm worried that I had some necrosis right now.

You have some? Or you have? I've been by a spider in my hands, and how long before a spider bite heals before you worry about necrosis. Are you working your way through a medical addiction, right? Yes. Mm-hmm.

You have a spot. I'm up to end, and that's pretty good. Yeah, no, you've done really well to make it to end. Right? Like surviving the first half of the dictionary of disease is really, really impressive. Pretty good. Yeah. I think like wanting to catch all of the diseases in the world is

The worst Pokemon it's I Guess if the if you're for doctor if you go see a doctor and he goes you've got volume three Of the you know diseases and yeah Problems so I think I think I think I have a book on your disease and he pulls down the volume three of the big book of diseases, right? And they say, which page? And they say, no, this is what you've got here. You've got all the way from K to P.

That's always starts with a kite tear, which is where you went out to the park. And you put the string around your hand to tight, and then a big gust of wind sort of degloved your finger. The skin off of your hand, and that's obviously the first problem. And pay is obviously parachute tear. Parachute tear. Sometimes they'll do back. Yeah. Sometimes people have died from parachute tear. Yeah, they have actually.

So sudden death. It's a, the first symptom of parachute tear is a tear in your parachute. And it's one of the few diseases where the symptoms start outside your body. Yes. And work their way in. Yes. You feel it, feel it, tear, and you'll hear it tear in your parachute, and then you'll feel some pressure in your feet. And then the disease progresses very quickly for this. It's amazing how fast you would die. It would be amazing if you could die, you know, die, but then just go back and just feel it in slow-mo.

Yeah, that's what you would want. Well, I mean, you're not doing anything you're dead. So it would be nice to just get to, to go back and go. Now, Rick and I just had such a fast death, you're still going for a little while. Yeah, like, as in your brain is still going. Yeah. The what's remaining of your consciousness. Yeah. What I want to know is in the secret world

of Alex Mac, how did her consciousness still exist when she was a puddle? Well, you must have heard about the goo caterpillars. No, they did experiments where they kind of exposed caterpillars to stimuli and then when they were butterflies the butterflies would still respond to the same stimuli. And while they're in the cocoon, they just turn into good. They're just complete, just complete goo. So the goo has a brain. That has memories as well. That is a really, really good answer to my question. Yeah, so that's probably some of you all, but Alex, Alex, Matt can undo it.

I think yeah, the Alex Matt came before the goo experiments, though, so wait, but this, you were just a little bit behind the time. Well, they were pricier. But then, but these slime molds that I've been watching videos on recently that also have intelligence, is the possibility that they're just catapillar goo? Yeah. Or that's what catapillar goo becomes,

or catapillars become when they go turn to goo, they form a slime mold. Do you have any answers to that? Or is it like, What slime, when I'm still, sorry, I'm back at the sentence, these slime mold videos I've been watching. I think I even sent it to that. Or is it like when I'm still sorry I'm back at the sentence these slime mold videos I've been watching. I think I even sent it to you. I think it's the one where they put they put they covered this they covered this

labyrinth in slime mold. Oh yeah. And then they put one oat at the at the beginning and one oat at the end. Yeah and then they would have known if you said the oat maze video. Yeah and then the slime mold found the quickest path between the two oats through the maze. And then could they do it again with the same slime mold with the way through the maze? Oh, different. But it would only want to do that

if there was oats at the, at each. Well, it knows there's oats at the other end, right? So it would have go looking for it again? So there was oats here. How smart is this omitting slime mold? Yeah, I don't know how like how, look, to be honest, I don't know that much about slime mold. I guess if it's intelligence, it would be aware

of where it is in the world, but maybe slime mold doesn't give a shit where it is in the world. It just cares about creating a path. Yeah, look, I feel like I would believe that one food to another food. Slime mold had some sort of intelligence, but I don't believe that it would be the kind of intelligence that would care where it was in the world. Yeah, that's just that's more of a you're putting people problems. Yeah, I don't think slime mold is like, just wish I was in Costa Rica right now

Yeah, right. So does does so this the slime mold wants it wants the oats, but does it yearn? Does it yearn for a better Place to in which to have the oats Well to not be put into this scenario at all where it's oats are at the whim of into this scenario at all where its oats are at the whim of the... Amazing! If someone put my porridge in a maze every morning I'd be fucking mad. I'd be mad at some slime molds. Yeah, if you put it especially out, it put you in a maze every morning. I would hate to be in a maze.

And then it put your porridge on either end of the maze. People do it for fun. They build big mazes and they run around too. Well, I mean, we build mazes of all kinds. We're all in a maze, metaphorically speaking. Oh, God, yeah, you are correct. I think that probably the research funding application that the scientists had to do in order to get the money to do the slime on the streets was the real maze. Very often, with psychological experiments, they'll call

you in under some pretence, they'll say we're testing reaction times or something, but really what they're testing is where you sit in the waiting room or something like that. But what if they weren't testing reaction times, they weren't testing where you sit in the waiting room, they were testing the way in which the psychologists set up the experiment. And it was the psychologists themselves who were being watched through a glass mirror. A two way, a one way. I also want to know now, do they put oats in the maze because putting corn in the maze, means you're putting maze in the maze and then the data sheets get too confused.

Sure, you don't want to. I have a lot of questions. I think you're putting more people problems on the slime mold. Slime molds are very confused by homophones. Oh, no, not the slime mold, but the scientist joining it down. The scientist. You'd be like, Gary, put the maze in the maze, but we should get oats. I mean, I think outside of a third world country, it's hard to even come across the corn variation

that is maze. Yeah. I mean, or outside of an industrial sort of thing, where you're making industrial quantities of food. You know that, because where do you have you eaten maze? I mean, you've eaten corn, right? Yeah. You've eaten corn, Andy?

Yes. You ever had maze? Uh, I don't think so. No. Do you ever eat maize? No. There's an eye in maize. So I am in the eye in the maize.

Look. If you were in a maize, do you want to be in one of those novelty hedge ones or like some sort of tunnel situation? No, yeah. Leverend. Yeah. Underground with a rampage in the. or like some sort of tunnel situation. Yeah, underground with a rampage. Head is really the least threatening maze. Like because they're quite claustrophobic, do you think the people inventing novelty mazes

went through a few building materials before they discovered that hedge was the least frightening? Right. It was the least frightening until one time when I was young, we went to a hedge maze. And watched the shining? No, no, no, but you know how you can go through, sometimes through the hedges, you know, just break through the walls.

Well, it turns out that within those hedges, there was also bees. And then bees started attacking us. I think a bee maize is really. Just like, you know, like made entirely of beards of bees. Yeah, I think so. So it's just, it's actually a wall made of people. But all those people have the queen bees in their mouths.

And then all the bees are right. How far drive is this B-Mise? Well, I want to go in the weekend. I'm going to hire a car. Look, to be honest, it's I want to go in the weekend. I'm gonna hire a car. Look to be honest, it's it's not really that Affordable to build it outside the city because you're not gonna get the kind of you know that great hipster market that you need Right, that's interesting, but too close to the city He needs quite a lot of land for a B maze so the property prices go up So there's probably like an exact

Radius at which all the B Mases are at a certain point distance from the city. The great thing though is that bees are willing to travel and so you can keep your bees a bit further out. Once you get that queen they'll do anything. They'll do anything. Yeah, they'll get under your car or they'll go around your face, create the facial hair. Now you think if you could find the first guy to ever do a bee beard, put him in your mouth. You could get all the other guys with bee beards

to form a beard. Yeah. A bee beard, beard. Anyway. Yeah, you probably could. Yeah. It would require some sort of training, though I think you'd have to ask the slime mold guys

for some tips. Get those guys in. Yeah. Look, I think there's either an idea somewhere and either metamorphosis happening where you turn to goo and then you turn back into something else, still have your memories. Or in the idea of just a maze

because like a terrifying maze. And maybe, I mean, this is like an idea where it could be, it's a hipster kind of, we're living in a gentrified area where somebody's house is used to be a terrifying minotaur maze. Because like there's a lot of old churches and things like that. Right, so you're converting gentrifying. Yeah, it's a converted maze. Yeah, I think that's great. This used to be a torture

labyrinth. When we came in, we just loved the design. Yeah, you just have to be careful going the bathroom in the night. Yeah, because it does move. It doesn't go. The bathroom is here, but you know, it's sort of 25% of the time, this is a pit, it's an eternal pit. Well, we haven't been able to patch up the hole yet Yeah, but I think having the bathroom over an eternal pit is actually quite good, right? Yeah That would be great. That's where you would need it. Yeah, you don't have to plum it in. Yeah We already had the eternal pit. I mean as a nice thing you could actually plum all other toilets to this eternal pit Mmm, but then you as a nice thing How's it nice to do this aside for society? Do you think that if we found a portal to another dimension

and we didn't know where it went? We would be like, OK, look, we don't know where this goes. Can we put it? Can we just put all our shit into it? I think, yeah, you just discovered like a new branch of like ethical thinking or the morals of discovering an eternal pet. What are the modern day ethics of discoveries?

Firstly, would you spit into the pet, right? Spit in the pet. Yeah. And then second would you do it? No, I would not spit in the pet. You wouldn't spit in the pet? No, I wouldn't spit in the pet. But would you shit in the pet?

No, no, shit in the pet, I would spit in the pet. But would you pay, would you pay a pet in the... I would spit a pet in the pit. I wouldn't spit in the pit. But would you shit in the pit? No, no shit in the pit, I wouldn't spit in the pit. But would you pipe your toilet? I would spit a pit in the pit. Oh, spit a pit into the pit? Sure, okay. But then you'd have to be eating all of near a pit. Yeah, I mean, maybe. Well, I guess you don't have to.

I guess you could. It's my house. I guess somebody else could have been eating all of them. You just took their pit and put it in your mouth and spit that in. That's exactly how it happened. Look, I think there's, I think first of all there's a lot of interesting moral questions. From the Eternal Pit. Yeah, but I also think that the converted maze or just the converted hellhouse of some kind.

I still want to go back to the guy who, you know, had're always in kind of semi-rural areas. That's where people set up there. Not all two mazes because you need land. It's just the guys like, no, no, come out to my house. I've made a maze. There's a two hour drive now getting it. It's safe. Don't worry.

I know it's scary, but just like, how hard would it have been for the first first maze guy to get people to trust it? If you'd never heard of the idea of a novelty maze, you would never go in a fucking homemade maze out in the country. At what point did mazes crossover from being an instrument of torture? Yeah. Into being an amusement for the people. Like if you, if somebody came here and said, get into my iron maiden, right, it's a novelty iron maiden, are we ready for that?

No, but we're up for the novelty maze. Yeah. Is the iron maiden the one, which one, the one that stretches you until your break? No, the iron maiden's the one that's a cupboard full of spikes. C cupboard full of spikes, it's much easier to make. So like it's a hijack. Great, yeah. All the spikes are hijack to make. It's a head joint. You can

all the spikes are head joints. Just knock one out in one verge collection. Big wardrobe, he's a spikes. You know, you're glorifying it when you call it an eye mate. So it's just a cupboard and then you slowly close the doors on them and then the spikes go into the body. It's very your response when you put an iron made out on the verge for collection, though, you're supposed to take the door off so that kids don't get hurt. Yeah, at least take it shut.

We'll take it shut. Because they always get in those iron plates. So I think the idea of how long it takes for it a sort of an objective torture to be later on accepted by society. To a Muslim become a tool of amusement. Yeah, I want to know what the, if you put kind of torture devices out on the verge, how long it, you know, like I put an IKEA table out, it was gone in like 20 minutes, but if you put

out an Iron Maiden, how long did it take before? What's the half life? Well, before some hipster comes along with a sac trolleon takes it away. No, I know, but it's those guys who drive around with all the scrap metal in there, but they'll take anything. Yeah, because first of all, it's iron. Oh, it's in the neck. Very good, yeah.

And that's where you're, first of all, that's, you know, it's an iron maiden. It's, it must be so heavy. This guy is just like this will melt down into like $20,000. Now this feels like a real classic sketchy sketchy sketch. But how about this? It's the IKEA of torture dungeons. So we're in a sort of a medieval, Spanish inquisitiony torture time, time, but all the implements of torture, all the dungeon accessories and stuff, you get them from an Ikea.

The real torture is putting them together. That's definitely the joke that they make halfway through assembling the flat pack iron maiden. There's a lot of spikes you've got to screw in. And of course the build quality is not the same but they're so cheap and they are quite stylish. Yeah. So that Danish brand.

Just if you want a bit of quick torturing and you're not, you know. Right, exactly. And especially if you're just... Doesn't give you a lot of atmosphere. Moved into a new neighborhood. Mm. And it's a good way to quickly finish your torture dungeon.

Yeah, or if you're moving a lot too. Yeah. Or if you're doing torture in all by yourself, and so you don't have much help moving your torture equipment, so it's good to be able to move it in pieces and assemble. I think that maybe some of the humor come from the fact that they already have their torture victim there.

What? They ain't gonna put it together. They're gonna awesome. I thought you already put it, you haven't put it together and you go, oh, I don't want to be a problem. And so then they're just like getting really embarrassed in front of the torture person. Yeah. They're gonna torture because- Hurting their hand. Yeah.

Yeah. They're gonna skid off their ductile. The diagrams got two little guys, and they need help. Yeah, and then maybe the person that starts sort of, the person that's chained to a chair is kind of like going like, no, no, no, that's the B1, that's not the, that you get, it's a different one. So maybe that then is that the real torture,

watching somebody incompetently put together and while you're restrained and you can't help, and like they refuse to read the instructions. I feel like that is just your particular type. Okay, maybe other people are frustrated, but I think you would hate that man. You would hate that so much. I would so much. Yeah, next time I build an idea battle, film it, I'll send it to you. It'll be four hours long Um, I Milk crates and nails that I bought from the hardware store that are not meant to go in the furnace

Nails she's using dials into chipboard. Oh, God. No real pond real pond Look guys, I think I want to just go back briefly to the eternal pit. Yeah. Take us back to the pit. I think the scenario is where we found an eternal pit and society has started. We're at the point where society is now pumping all of their sewerage into the pit. I imagine there was basically like maybe three years into knowing about the pit. And now we just have...

And we've done all the experiments that we can with the pit and we're not able to find anything out about it. We put some guys in it and they've not come back. Yeah, we've signed a torch into it. We're still can't see anything. We've got a long stick. So this is in the, say it's like Stargate, right? But they put James Spader in and then Mums go past,

and James Spader doesn't come back. Yeah. And then the government funding to. And it disappears from all the copies of his current movies. Right. And the funding for the research into the pit is drying up into the stargate and they start to say, well, what can we do? To make money. And so then they maybe it gets sold off to somebody at an auction. Yeah, how do we pimp the pit? Yeah.

Oh man. The fact that somebody who gets rich because they had a pit on an endless pit on their property, anyway, that guy's rich now, it's like oil, but it's like the absence of it. Anyway, so now we've been pumping this into the pit for ages and then people start having to like a new field of academia opens up, which is the ethics of eternal pits. Yeah. Because now that there's one, maybe there'll be more, but then also, they start realizing that by pumping all our effluent into the pit, we're actually

starting to drain the resources of the planet. Yeah, you would be. You'd need that. And so there's not only a resource drain, but there's a nutrient drain that all our excess nutrients are being sent into the... Yeah, just like carbon. You know?

Yeah, well I guess maybe... Carbon sink. Oh maybe. Carbon dioxide in there. But I mean, we need that to get oxygen. So that's a quite an interesting scenario. I imagine that we're actually... We're lowering the amount of carbon in the planet.

So we've actually found a way to slow global warming. Yeah. But we're getting rid of all the nutrients on Earth, slowly, but surely. What a conandrum. So we're going to die anyway. And how about this? Would you expose your genitals to the pit, bearing in mind that people on the other side of the pit might be able to see through. It could be like a two way mirror.

If it is a two way mirror and we're just shitting on it. They've got other problems. Yeah, I don't think they're spitting on the stairs. They're not looking through anymore. Like after a couple of months of piping shit through, then people are going, well, you have a look at the pit the pit. So, you're probably the least safe. I think, I think, look, I think this is a classic schedule, ain't you?

And then at some point, we do get to see what's on the other side of the pit. Right. It's actually a really, it was a really nice society. Oh, no. Oh, no. It was a utopia. It was, it was actually aliens making contact with us.

Oh. And basically giving us us giving us a one-way door to their utopia. And because they're like you know look we can't we can't communicate with you three dimensional creatures. But we have five yeah from our four dimensional world but you can you know you can walk through our portal become a fourth dimensional creature and you can walk through our portal, become a fourth dimensional creature, and you can join our utopia. And then all we've done is just pump 3D poop in there, and that is not becoming 4D.

I don't even know if that makes a better or worse. Look, it's not good. But then again, they are getting extra nutrients that they didn't have, possibly we're sending through diseases that they didn't have on their planet, and we're wiping out that utopia. Yeah, I mean really this is a metaphor for what we've done. We want to go back to the lion horizon where it was safe, there was only flesh-eating bacteria.

And they were on the horizon. Yeah. I know they were now horizon, but the lion's horizon. What was the lion on the horizon from? That was you meeting your wife dressed up as her at a bar. Did we write that down? Well yeah I wrote down a couple tries role-playing meeting at a bar as ourselves. But then in that scenario they're both just dressed as the same person. Yeah. I'm imagining they're wearing the dress that they first met. Yeah. But I also, like, we could experiment, it could also be funny to have the man, the both dressed as the man. Wait, and you try to tell me you

don't think that man dresses women as funny? Also, I would never say that, you know, that's the central premise of this podcast Think you out a fundamental tenet dresses up a girl Yeah, and so I guess we don't need to change anything. No great perfect And you say we we know we're always talking about how we need more women in our sketches. Now we've got two So really success and the bar with tender or person within the eski could also be a woman. Wow. And the lions are probably all women.

Well, they are the ones that hunt. And sit on horizons. Yeah. I just like the idea of them being dressed is the really mean version of the other person that I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Like, do they have facial prostics? Have a big weird nose?

Yeah, I mean, yeah. This is what you look like. Yeah, to me. Wow, it's like I'm seeing double here. It would be so good to get. I mean, like this is, if not a great sketch, it's at least a good Buzzfeed, you know, like how they always like trial things, like, we got some moms drunk and got them to talk

about their kids. We got some couples. Mums do that for free. Yeah, yeah. And then we got some five star generals drunk and got them to talk about their regiments. About their war crimes. But one of these where we just got we got a couple, we got one member of the couple to sit in front of the camera while another one go underwent makeup to look exactly like we three deep printed a

mask of your beloved face. If that wasn't, you know, you can get like a little 3D version of yourself printed at office works and stuff. What though if you could get a full wearable 3D printed mask of your face for anybody to wear? Wow. Because that's probably... Gonna happen. Well, it's probably like technically possible now surely. Yeah. I guess with even just a makeup artist who can they can make pretty good even rubber masks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You have to put your face and clay and stuff, but if it was just like they just scanned it and they printed out and then like, it feels like you're on your dog at home and dance around. Just hug, just hug in the dog bed.

It's just like hugging myself in a dog bed. You should get one of your dog and wear it. And you wear it. So it's the same as the first sketch that we came up with. It's the couple role playing as themselves but it's for same as the first sketch that we came up with. With a couple role-playing as themselves, but it's for somebody who's in their dog. And so I guess if it's you and I'm quite a small dog then. And the dog is in a dress because that is hilarious. Yeah, absolutely.

And you're a dog, which is also hilarious. This is probably a bit too cliched and obvious, but like the idea of spicing up other types of relationships with the same approach, like a business relationship or something like that. Like you were saying. Like you were saying, do a job interview or something like that. Like, you know, we've been working together now for 15 years and you're a great employee, but you know, something in the spark has gone.

So I think we should. I want to pretend you're a firefighter. I am a firefighter. Yeah, do a better job. Yeah, or they start bringing in like BDSM type stuff maybe into the... Just strappy stuff around. Into the workplace. It sounds like a...

Fraught with the... Issues? I thought with the issues, but it turns also like maybe the only way that I would stop getting up from my desk. So maybe that's, it's actually a productivity. Yeah. They're in the attempt, so they strap you in. Mm-hmm. And they carry a paddle.

But there's no actual contact between each other. It's just you guys just dress up in the leather and you think that would help this business relationship? I think we should try it. I do that when I'm writing a full show because I can't sit still and focus for very long. I mean I can but I can't. And so I'll get like a very complicated belt system, like two belts and I'll put them around the chair and it just stops. No, Lord.

It just stops me from unconsciously getting out because I'll just find myself in the garden. You know doing some gardening and I'm like, oh no, you've got to show that open tomorrow. So I need some sort of complicated, complicated system. Of course. I've literally never heard of that before in the world ever. I've never even heard it referenced or talked about as a possibility. For somebody belting themselves to be here. Never.

It's not like a special belt that I have. It's just one of mine. You said it's a complicated belt. Yeah, like look, I'm not very dexterous. So it's really just a normal belt, done up properly. Oh, wow. I'm really... You should try it. Alright, this next sketched idea is Laura's normal life.

I didn't realize that was that strange. No, I mean, like I do a version of that where I... Sometimes it's my funny clothes, so I can't go outside. Laura, it sounds like you're so I can't go outside. Laura, it sounds like you're in an abusive relationship with yourself. I mean, that is absolutely every, that's my whole stick. I think I can, I can see you documented evidence. But you're, you know, in a way you're also doing it to help yourself. Yeah, I know. I'll go to the 711.

Yeah. I'm in the belt and the weird shirt, the funny hat, and then I can't. What can I, what can I... This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Review aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive?

Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary, discounts not available in all safe and situations. Kind of funny handle we talk about. I would wear like a sequined like a ballerad jacket with a built-in cape.

And then you can't go outside in that. Do you have to stay in your house and do a show? Because you're wearing funny clothes. Literally a fashion victim. Yeah. Kidnapping victim. Yes. I think that's interesting.

My shows have won awards. Can we gelman? I think this is, this is something I'm going to talk about in my master class one day. Laura, welcome to your master class right now. Is it possible to make, like obviously Laura's in current life is a sketch, but like I don't know if people would believe it. So I wonder if we should take it to a more ridiculous scenario, like say a prison where

rather than having walls in the prison and fences and such like, they do just put them in sort of strange clothes that they want to wear to be seen in public with. Yeah, like that. Like those orange jumpsuits are not enough potentially what they're doing. Paisley and Spots, because no, but orange jumpsuits says like, no, someone made me wear this. The thing with wearing bad clothes is when you're right on the line that it looks like maybe you could have backed it.

And that's usually when you find yourself apologizing, it's like it's cold, you grab a jacket from your car, it doesn't match, but it almost looks like you could back it up. It's very unflattering. And it's just like that would put into people's minds of like, oh, that's what this person thinks is good. And you don't want that. Yeah, he didn't notice at all. I've been filming some sketches and that have involved me dressing up in a very ridiculous outfit

with a long blonde mullet and like, fake tan and stuff like that. And I always ask to use the service elevator so that I don't have to go through the public part of the building. And be seen by everyone. And I think this is very important. The late moment in an adult's life

where they're asking for the service elevator, but they're not carrying any bulky items. I'm carrying a bulky, an out of shape. map shape any big elevator for all the all the same I'm carrying right now and I want those like drop sheets they put in there also for the shape yeah no no no imagine if it was one of those glass elevators and they're even more a glass service elevator oh no it's a really fancy building. So stressful!

Maybe the service they're providing is exposing you. Have you ever been in a truck lift? Oh those huge ones. Well you would have been in these at the convention centre. Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty special feeling. Yeah.

And it's a whole room that just goes up. Oh, wow. I think it's literally, it's called a truck lift, could you put a truck in it? Could we do this as an art installation, where the elevator is the only part of the building that remains stationary, and the entire skyscraper moves up and down around it.

Yeah, you probably could. Okay. I reckon it would take some engineering. And money. Yeah. But it's out. Yeah. And there's always a lot of money for that.

People love art. Have you seen Picasso's? I love it. Yeah. Yeah, you could sell one of those. It's like $30 million. Yeah. And then...

Build your own. Elevator. How much can a building... like an elevator building cost? Well, it was a normal skyscraper cost. Doesn't have to go up heaps. You know, head stories or something? Draw three, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, how can you pitch three?

Yeah. Get them in on the ground floor. And then, so to speak, and then suddenly, before they know it. But how much, like, how much would a scraper cost? A scraper? Like a skyscraper, we talk. Yeah.

Like from, you know, if you're the developer, what is a skyscraper cost? And are there any other kinds of scrapers? People know the answer to this, and they're out there. Yeah, I know. Well, if you know the answer to this. American, American. I believe.

Let's guess to me. That in the $100 million. After the Great Depression, when they built the Empire State Building, I think it cost $20 million. 20 million? Alright, that was only a hundred years ago. Yeah, so. I don't know if money gone. Adjust for inflation? Yeah.

I think maybe you probably do it for like 50, 50 million? Yeah, I don't know. There are like, terraced houses that sell for that. Yeah, I know, but I think you're building it. If you're building it yourself and then you then you, it's already got value once it's built, but maybe like the labor and stuff like that. I mean, you're definitely saving on land, right? Because you know, you're, you're...

I think that was the whole point of them. Yeah, you've got, you've only got like a hundred meters or whatever, square, hundred square meters. That's a lot. No, that's just 10 meters by 10 meters. It's not very long at all. 100 meters squared. That's quite a bit. Yeah That's that sky scraper

Or a really big maze. Is there something in any of this? I mean, because if not, I got a joke to pitch to you. All right, well, let's go with that. It's just a joke. And it might already be a joke. So what I'm really asking is, is this already somebody else's joke?

I mean, is this in your heart? Okay. For you, judge somebody, walk a mile in their shoes, then you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes. Yeah, that's definitely someone else's job. Great, good to know. It may also be just like on a fridge magnet somewhere. Probably, it's so obvious.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think the wording was actually exactly how I've heard the joke in the past. Right, well, that's good to know. Yeah. It means that you are meeting industry standards at the very least. Right, I'm's good tonight. Yeah. It means that you are your meeting industry standards at the very least. Right, I'm replicating it scientifically.

Yeah. You're like the slime. I am slime. You just got one. You found the most efficient joke-thieving scar. Yeah, you just found one of the bits of oats, which was that joke. The other piece of oat is original. Yeah, not big. And one oat is the premise and one is the bits of oath, which was that joke. The other piece of oath is original. Yeah, not fake.

In one oath is the premise and one is the punchline. I reckon one oath is the premise and one is the punchline. That is that. And we are all just slime. I wonder whether you could do that. How could you set up slime mold so that it figures out the most important. It's the most efficient punch line for a set up,

and I mean like Jesus Christ, if you could give it a slime mold, any piece, any two bits of information, and it finds the most efficient punch line, and like a path for that to be set up, and that to be the punch line. Alistair, this sounds so much like an idea. You would genuinely try and come up with

in order to make our comedy writing more efficient. You've always got a little scheme. I want a scheme, but yeah, look at the moment it's not becoming super clear. The way slime works. I think it would have to be randomly going through words, but then also testing it on humans and seeing how the reaction is coming from. Do you think that, you know, at the moment in the comedy scene, we sort of judge people who have writers, that they sort of stand up comedy. Would we judge them more or less if we knew that writer was

slime mold? He's just working with slime mold. I think I would judge them less. Yeah, I think I would judge them less because I, I think I would judge them less. Because I think there's a creativity in having to figure out how to get slime mold to work for you. I don't mind, you know, because there are some people who openly acknowledge they have writing partners and that sort of thing for their standup comedy

and they'll mention their own podcast and stuff like that. And you're like, oh, well, at least you were talking about it. And I think if they were happy, don't. They don't have them in like some sort of cage somewhere. It's really what you want to check. Make sure it's an ethical exactly. Yeah, relationship. Yeah. And but obviously we know that it is okay to do that. And and especially like if money is swathing hands, exchanging hands. And not just from one, from the left hand to your right hand, from your hand to another person's hand.

And then they are allowed to leave the room with it. Yes, very good. And the hand is attached to their body, not a severed head. And their body is attached to their head. Very good. Are you guys lawyers? Yeah. Yes. Well, you've got to look for these loopholes.

Just pay for a little fond of them. Is there something in like people trying to build a contract like that and try to find all the loopholes you've got in the contract? Money exchanging hands. I think it's definitely, I think there is. I think it is, it's already like a bit of a stretch to imagine that you would have the words

money changing hands, even written into a contract in the first place, which is an issue. But maybe it's a verbal contract. Yeah, or maybe it's just like, oh, you look, I'm working with my uncle and he's sort of, I wanted to make sure that he was gonna pay me properly. So he's giving me a, he's written up a contract for me.

I just wanted to double check, because I can't. Well, Alistair, you've done the setup, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. No, we need that slime mold to figure out the punch line. Yeah. My, my uncle's just a bit wily. I'm just gonna write down uncle. Yeah uncle's just a bit wily. I'm just going to write down uncle contract.

Uncle Wiley. Uncle Wiley. Contract. Changing hands. What is the best name for somebody whose nickname starts with Wiley? I think it's Nile. Wiley Nile? Yeah.

Wiley Nile? Well. Wiley Nile? Well, Miley. It's already Miley. Wiley Miley. That's too much. It's a bit sing song. Yeah, a bit sing song. Wiley Nile.

Wiley Brian? Yeah, Wiley Rick. Wiley, Wiley Elka. Wiley, Wiley Elka? Wiley, now I want Wiley to be like a first name, so it's like Wiley Kuran ski or something like that. Yeah. Because I think something was, you know, nice. Because Wiley's all soft sounds, something with a nice in it.

Wiley Kirk? Yeah, like a single syllable almost. Would you consider Kirk a single syllable? Yes. Kirk. He's in that earc. It's kind of almost the same thing. Kirk, anything to...

Yeah, you're getting it. You're getting it for free. You're getting it. Yeah, it's a kind of a remainder. Yeah, that's like the five cents that you let them keep. Yeah, Kirk. I think in sort of advanced poetry, you would have to take into account things like that. You couldn't let things like that slide.

I'm sure there is a concept of like a half syllable or something like that in linguistics. Yeah, even a quarter. Quarter-sill, which is actually cellars at one corner of the cell. A milliball? A milliball. I'm in the smallest unit of those syllable. Anyway, I wanted to say that in this scenario where

you do find out that there's a guy who is using a slime old to help him run. I would love to see the slime mold at some point get some success. Yeah, and some studies. Oh, that's great, because get up the courage to do it itself. Yeah, oh, I started out writing for other people.

And then. Well, that's like so often how people's writers relationship works, where it does feel slightly and ethical is that sometimes it's more experienced comics Almost taking advantage of new or more talented people don't know well, you know I'll take these and you write for me and I use all of your I Imagine there would be a lot of like and I'll pay you. I need a very welcome Thank you. Oh, I've written is the word

Wiley Brian over nine hundred times in a pad. I'll use it. Yeah. But I imagine that like a slime mold would have a lot of hangups and a lot of issues with getting up on stage. Like you can understand how they would worry that their voice and their,

they wouldn't have the experience that would be relatable for people. They're like, I can think of funny things, but I don't feel like I'm a funny person who would be able to do this on stage or I'm a funny slime mold. Sure, but you know, like how sick people are of like straight white guy opinion. Yeah. I think it would be a girl. Breath of fresh air, although don't breathe near the slime mold that will get in your lungs. See, I feel that's worse though, if you had like straight white men.

And then we skip women in time. And we skip women in straight two. And we skip women in straight two. And we go straight to the slime mold. He's like, oh man, what are you? What are you in to do? What is the opposite of a straight white man? It's a wobbly, griggy mold.

And that's how you achieve balance on a lineup. And you go along to a night and it would be, yeah, it'd be five guys, four slime molds and one woman. Yeah, you're gonna keep the ratio. Lauren, I don't know why you hate diversity. Yeah. You're like, you know, obviously the slime molds

a bit, is a bit, you know, obviously, it's low status, a bit You know, he's obviously he's got it's low status I think but then he gets up to he's very nervous and I hope people are gonna react He's killing I gotta say, your impersonation of a slime mold has got to be one of the best you've done on the show. Can you please do the slime mold doing like a bit of a zazzy joke, like one with a bit of intonation to it? I like that tag as well. Keep the laugh rolling. Yeah, yeah.

Don't let them think for a second. I think it would be great just to hear this laugh while the slimes perform where they go. Oh. point where they go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, meet them laugh before they realize how bad it was. I think what I think that we could really make this work into like a longer bit because say you're doing experiments because scientists would be doing experiments with the intelligence of slime mold, right?

And they'd be like, this is amazing. We think that this slime mold could be, like, could be really useful for applications in engineering, in computing. It's got all this incredible potential, right? And then the scientists are a bit disappointed when the slime mold decides that it wants to pursue comedy. And drop out, and we are.

Drop out, and go into the next. And then, but because it doesn't have it has, it doesn't have that confidence in itself, it winds up being exploited by an alterch median, and then eventually it does have a successful career. Yeah. Phil, this is not a sketch idea. This is a feature film. This is a feature film. This is a trip. This is three part. This is like three hundred and ten minutes. Yeah. Wow. That's a big one. So we actually get to witness some dye. Yeah, man. I don't think they live that long. I feel like they could be a morphe Like because it's probably like each individual

Our super food. Mm-hmm. That's true. I bet you they're really into those ancient grains as well I'm but you if you gave them a bit of amaranth or Keenwa they'd be really into that. Oh, it's actually a superfood. I think they are good for you. That's interesting. I'm not sure. The official list of superfoods is getting quite long. I think if we, yeah, I mean, I think if we wiped all foods clean, like we didn't have any kind of...

No, no superfoods. Right, no, so there's no foods, right, and we get, start, we look at all foods completely from blank slate. I think people would be like, oh beef, beef's the no foods, right? And we get, start, we look at all foods completely from a blank slate. I think people would be like, oh beef, beef's the superfood, right? I think it's just because we came up with the word superfood, and then since we came up with that, all the new, bad foods we're now calling superfoods.

But I think if you went back to the very beginning and start looking at cat, you know, according to whatever this bullshit standards are, superfoods. You feel like tomatoes are pretty good. Put them on the list. They would definitely be a superfood. Yeah. Tomatoes.

Stop prostate cancer. Yeah. Hello. Yes, please. Thank you. You can throw them at people you don't like. Right. Do you think we should also be naming?

I don't know, forget where did you have super bugs? Forget it. I'm sorry. I don't think superfood is did you have super bugs, forget it. I'm sorry. I don't think super food isn't any way an official thing, and I think it is the whole thing is just a scam. It's a total scam. It is just a way of branding foods in a different way

to make people excited about some under sold product, like kale. Nobody gave a shit about kale until the word superfood came out and then people were like yeah sort of like a firm leafy green that sort of definitely tastes like it looks you know super super super drinks must be on their way right if we haven't already got them. Oh I hope they here. I reckon water might be one of those. I love that. Super liquid, custard as well. Diet Coke, but not obviously not the sugar coke.

And cranberry juice. Because it's of its ability to remove... Antioxidants? Remove antioxidants. Oh no, you want antioxidants, don't you? Not too many. I don't think you want too much of anything. Because antioxidants, apparently,

like people were starting to pop antioxidants, concentrate tablets, and then they were like, turns out we need oxidants. Yeah, right. They have server-purpose. Hey, guys, we have actually more than enough sketch ideas here. I know time has flown by. And we can't believe that it's already come to the end, but there's actually a lot of stuff

here. I will take you guys through it, but I'm pleased. We have the couple that tries roleplaying and meeting at a bar as their selves. Either they both swap roles or somebody just misinterprets when they did the bars ourselves and one shows up in themselves, the other person else is as them. Either dressed alike or they go the full prosthetics and I think full prosthetics would be beautiful to do. And obviously there's lions on the horizon. And what's on the lion's horizon? Hyenas. Hyenas, yeah. And then no Samaritan there.

I'm gonna name an album. My next album is gonna be called The Lions Horizon. Yeah, that's good. I like that. Oh, Wiley, Wiley Bryant. Wiley Bryant. And then we got the Converted May's House, which is somebody, you know, it's an area

that didn't used to be a nice popular area, but now people are taking every building and converting it into either apartments or houses, and this is a, it's an old dank, sort of like Minotaur's style maze that was used for torturing people physically and their minds. But now it's just a nice, it's quite a quaint kind of cool house. Well the stonework is beautiful. Oh, it would be so, you know, the amount of money you would have to have to build a giant maze like that.

Yeah, we don't have, we can't do that now. Can you get the, can you get the, does the minotaur have a trade? Like, you know, did he build it as well or was he just put in there? Like, he just saved up, he never had any smashed avocado. So the minotaur owns the maze. I didn't realize the Minotaur owns the maze. Look, I reckon if you're a Minotaur and a mage, you own that maze. Alright, I thought maybe like some other guy owned the maze and he put it in there and the Minotaur was kinda true. In the truest sense. Yeah, it's a Minotaur's maze.

That's true because I mean- No one else can go in that maze without getting killed by a Minotaur. It's the Minotaur's's maze I don't care who's pulling the strings. Yeah, I see right. So in a way we need unions unions being the minotors of the of the work work relations We have the somebody finds an eternal pit and then I think eternal pit is my favorite. Yeah, I mean, eternal pit. Yeah, oh man, the morals and ethics of an eternal pit. And obviously we find out later on that it was alien life trying to communicate with us

and that we'd been dumping our our sewerage into it. And they've been there. We're giving us the chance to be four dimensional creatures. But we just pumped all our nutrients and our world is starting to dive in faster But not heating up So that's not the case. So then it just starts then at one point earth just starts getting way too cold and there's no nutrients. Yeah, that's great That is great Yeah, and you know what those alien creatures aren't super happy with this. Yeah, I'll like who like

happy with this. Yeah. I'll like like like planetary masses shrinking and we've lost a chance of immortality but there's a cool breeze. So that's so that's nice. I don't have to use the air conditioner as much and so the my electricity bills are down 20 bucks. Would we have like a planetary vote like maybe every week there'd be something on some vote on Twitter and be like, what should we chuck in the pit this week? Yeah, it's just a poll. Yeah. Can you, like, yeah, it's just used for like a, you know, like a Letterman style talk show where it's like, can you pit it?

Yeah. Do you think if they thought knew that Twitter was going to be such a big thing, they would have called it something less silly? I don't, I see, I don't think that you can ever plan how names are gonna work out. Yeah, if they thought that the president was gonna like tweet policy, do you think they would have had a little,

another go at the white board? Maybe they should have called it, Jotter. Jotter, oh, the president jotted last night. Yeah. Jotter scribbled, I think there is a scribbled already. Like with no E and still LD. Next is then we have the Ikea of torture implements. Yes. Flat pack. Flat pack and you see the scenario in which there are a lot of Alan keys. They have a torture victim, but he's,

you know, he just has to wait for them to put it together. Yeah, and then at the end, they haven't done it right or something like that. Yeah, and then they're like, does that hurt? You go, it's not really. At the end, you got a lot of spikes left over. You're like, oh, I feel like these were supposed to go somewhere.

Oh, and the eyes. Yeah. And then they just try to like, in the eyes. Yeah. And then they just try to spike the guy. We have the prison where there's no bars. There's just, they just dress in an awful fashion, like horrible outfits. And I think they're still guards walking around. They're like, no swapping.

No trying to make those outfits look better. But it's just bullies. It's not a swap. They just put like a lot of like, snippy fashionistas around the corporate room. A lot of like teenage girls. Yeah. It's like, clique.

Oh no. Then we got Uncle Wiley contract. Yeah, you just need like every 20 meters. You just want somebody who everyone really wants to impress. Yeah. RuPaul? RuPaul. It's just RuPaul doing Latin and Con-Varable

with a megaphone. Wow. Yeah, look, that's a great system. Uncle, Uncle Wiley contract changing hands. Look at that. You know, it's just a, you guys checking it out. He wants to just check this clause with a lawyer friend and making sure that this will work and he goes on.

No, man, there's some problems with changing hands. Like, will you be talking one hand to another? You're right. That was a hand attached to the body. You're right. And then of course, we have the slime mold comedy writer to superstar. Feature film.

Feature film. Actually, before we move on, I do remember that as part of our Patreon, we've just started a thing where people can send in three words and we will see if we can come up with a sketch idea that is based on the... Based on the three words. Based on those three words. We've forgotten that for the last two episodes, but we're definitely doing it for this one, aren't we?

I'm really? Yeah, absolutely. And so, I just... Which, I mean, we assume this is possible. This is really the first change to the podcast format that's ever been implemented. Yeah, other than maybe occasional adding some ads, that was the thing that we started. But you know what, we have fun with those ads. Yeah.

All right. All right. So the three words that we have here are from Alan Danett, who is the first person to take up this idea. Thanks Alan. Thanks Alan. Thanks for your words. Is a bingo, story, and homeless. Now, the first thing that came to my mind with homeless was an idea of a slug, which is a homeless snail. Right.

That's interesting. Yeah. Has been evicted or something, or just never together, it's been all his money on Smash Avocado. Well, I mean, the idea that he lost all his money playing Bingo. I think is there something in a bingo, but instead of numbers being pulled out of the thing. It's like pictures or emotions or something that's really difficult to describe or something like that.

I don't know. What was the middle word? Story. Story, okay. Yeah. Like, so you've got all these old people sitting around in a, uh, is this, is this what happens in problems? The Samsung show, there was something with Bingo in that, wasn't there?

Or was that just regular Bingo? Look, it's just a trivia or something like that. Oh, it's trivia, was it? It's hard with the homeless thing because you don't want that to be any sort of punchline. No, no, no. But, okay, how about this? It's bingo, but instead of balls with numbers on it, they're pulling out slugs.

Hmm. All right. Ha, ha, ha. And it's a game instead where, where instead of like calling out the name of the slug and you sort of, you stamping the thing. Yeah. They throw the slug into the crowd of you stamping the thing. Yeah. They throw the slug into the crowd sort of blindfolded like this. And then whoever catches the most amount of slugs

on different parts of their card. Yeah. And forms a line first. Okay. It's very big with them. The retirement community. That's right. And so they're, you know, they're going to be willing to just sit around, you know, like the slugs can't really get away. They can't move very fast. They can't move. They can't move. They can'tugs can't really get away. They can't move very fast. They can move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move.

They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move.

They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move.

They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. They can't move. It definitely inspires your brain to stay active and your neurons to keep functioning and growing and repairing. And I think that like Bingo is a very repetitive and quite addictive sort of thing that I suspect doesn't really add a huge amount. And it's also not very social really because you're just sitting there in silence waiting

for your number to be read out. Okay, now I'm saying that if that there could be a real therapeutic value to changing the Bingo format so that instead of just reading out numbers, it does involve throwing slugs of people. We also have to incorporate the story part of it. So you know how like high school children encouraged to go to like retirement homes to read stories to the elderly. Yeah.

What if instead they were mixing it up to place lug bingo and people like, no, you shouldn't do that, but it was actually a wild success. Yeah. And the thing that we've not known about the elderly for many generations is that the old people love slug bingo. That's right. And that maybe that did like you said, it was that they're having primary school students come over and read their idea of how their story of how bingo could be changed. I think okay so I think okay so

what it is is it's it's it's like a you know what the slug bingo is a particular example right but really it's this philosophy of like a, you know, what, the slug bit go is a particular example, right? But really it's this philosophy of like a nursing home where they're like, we keep the old people engaged. Everything is constantly changing. Okay. And so on this particular occasion, and maybe it's because young people, sorry, you've got your hand up, Laura. No, no, I want you to finish.

We, they get children in who are the most creative. They don't understand any boundaries at all. So there are children who are in charge or on the board or whatever, who are the most creative, they don't understand any boundaries at all. So they're a children who are in charge, or on the board, or whatever, who are making these decisions. It's all total insanity, right? And the old people are in a constant state of flux and probably fear, but it's very good for their minds. Yeah, and they become so much more capable

with all of this new stuff that all of the homes have to close and the world becomes homeless. Oh. So, they're so capable, they don't even need shelter. No, they don't need retirement homes. Oh, all the retirement homes. Yeah.

Retirement homeless. And then we get to keep homeless without it being a joke about somebody in an unfortunate financial state sure. Yeah, I liked that too. I mean this I felt like we we'd almost gotten rid of that with with the slugs anyway Yeah, but the slugs were just they ended up just being like part of the the maze So yeah, we were the slime and that I just keep picturing that that big thing of balls being that you spin as a bingo thing is going to slip. It is that they all they all bought. Hey your bingo slugs sound exactly the same as your slime community. Oh I lost it. You're exposed. Oh he's only really got one sound effect. I've only got one sound. Your body is like 40% lips. Thank you. I

take that as a huge compliment. So that is the sketch part of the show. Thank you very much for listening to the podcast. We're on the Planet Broadcasting Network so you can listen to them and you know check out the weekly planet. We have Laura Davis here today Laura, would you like to plug anything? I'm doing my show ghost machine and MICF coming up in a few months at one awards It's a whole hour of stand-up performed under a sheet dressed as a ghost and it's much better than it sounds So if you like social media and stuff, I'll be posting lots of information about that. Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2018.

Probably easier to follow me on Twitter. Are you doing it anywhere else in the country? I'll be doing it in Perth. French World. Great. Follow you on Twitter at... At Laura Davis' comic. I'm at...

Andy, I'm at Stupid Old Andy. I'm at Alistair TV and we're at two in tank. You can follow us on Facebook. You can contribute to the Patreon so that you can come up with a, we'll give us three words so that we can come up with a great sketch like sketch idea like the constant flux retirement. Comments flux retirement. It's a beautiful name to flux. It's always something like Shady Acres or something like that. Constant flux. Retirement community. Roodle. And just so that you know, we love you.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who saved by switching saved nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts.

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