Two In The Think Tank - 113 - "REGIONS YOU CAN SNEEZE INTO"

Episode Date: January 9, 2018

I Achoose You, Nuking Chick Corea, Pocket Oppression, Little Brown Bird Sex Tape, VIral Peace Prize Video, Gunther, Collaborationality, Medium Book Keeping Sorry we forgot to sum up in this episode. We're out of practice. You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!) Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here A thousand thanks to George Matthews for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings were very discounts not available in all safe and situations. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Alistair George William Tromblo virtual. Yes Andy. What's the close to something's ever been to your face?

I have put sort of like a large sandwich inside my mouth. Okay, alright. Okay, but if you were to say what appliance in here? What manmade object? Hmm. Now sandwich probably counts as a man-made object. Yeah. I mean you don't really think of it as being man-made. No In many way it's a collaboration between nature and human. That's right. It's a dance. It's a dance as old as sort of culinary 1860s or something like that. Colony 1860s or something like that.

I guess after that maybe the pillow? The pillow has been pretty close, Alistair, but I think even the pillow has the good sense to stop short of like the base of the follicles of the hair on your face. That's true. It might not even get to the base. Why do you know something that could get to the base of the follicles of my face? I'm talking about the razor, Alistair. Sorry, which is wet for a bit of a run before.

I'm slightly out of breath. All right, I'm talking about the razor. I'm talking about the, you know, it's the closest that a machine can get to you without crossing the fundamental boundary to be inside your body. Yeah, right. Okay. Why do you bring up razors? Well, because this show, this episode is sponsored by somebody. Two in the think tank is is is is sponsored by a company. Yeah, I almost don't want to tell

you your name just to their name just to keep it keep it mysterious, right? But um, but it's Harry's. But it's Harry's. I can't hold it in. I'll just tell you I got to you got it out of me. It's it's Harry's razors it's Harry's. I can't hold it in. I got it out of me. It's Harry's razors. And look, they've got a special deal for listeners of Turn the Think Tank. Really? Yeah. It's very similar to the deal that they offer to listeners of a lot of podcasts, but

I've been told by Jeff and Andy, the guys at Harry's, that ours really means a lot. This is the really special deal. They like our listeners the most. They like our listeners the most and they wanna do something that is just for them. Okay, and what do people have to do? Look, without giving too much of a wait, they've got to go to harries.com.

Fordslashthink.tank. And they've got to just pay for the cost of shipping and they'll get to live at a start-up hack, Harry's start-up pack. Which is a great way to start a new year, new year, you say you want to be a bit more clean-cout this year. God, I've had a good experience with Harry's Rays. I'm sure I've told you on previous episodes podcast and even just in our day-to-day life but they've been fantastic. I've had the best shave of their experience. My girlfriend keeps commenting on how good the gel that's in there smells. The gel is delightful and I feel like it's good for your skin.

My skin feels really good. Anyway, look. I don't want to go on about it. We'll talk about it later on in the show. Okay. And fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring,

fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fring, fr in, I'm sending it in, I'm sending it in, I'm sending it in. Hello and welcome to Toon the Think Tank to show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I am Andy Matthews. And I am Alice to George William, Tromboli virtual. Thank you very much for your ears being present. And those ears being attached to your head,

and your head being surrounding your mind. Thank you for lending us your ears. We promised to return them in 45 to an hour, 15 times. Andy, if the body had a spirit, but in a non-magical way, what like a liquid form or what is it? I guess if it was, it could maybe liquid. I think of it as it's the like, it's the electric charge or whatever the thing that makes it so that, that makes it that we're all a bunch of dead atoms

that are somehow alive working together. Yes. Okay. Is it collaboration? Is it the collaboration between ourselves and the non-us cells all working together? Is the spirit of collaboration? Absolutely, Alistair. The human soul, it's a get-together. It's a corrobory. It's a jamboree. Yes, it's the scout jamboree.

The 12th, the 14th. Look, I can't remember the number one that I went to. It's a scout jamboree. And the consciousness is the akela. Yes, is the president. And, hand happiness is the rock show on Sunday nights. Well they get a cover band in and they do Chumbo Wamba tub thumping. Because we all do get knocked down. That's right. But Alistair. But once that happens. Yeah. Because we get back up again. And we ain't never gonna, you ain't never gonna keep me down. That's right.

Yeah. I'm like a, I'm like a bad curry. You ain't never gonna keep me down. You could keep it down. Yeah, you reckon? But you ain't never gonna stop me from getting hooked up. You can keep me down, but I'm gonna find another way out. Yeah, that's right.

Like a bad curry. Like a bad curry. Like a bad curry, indeed. Now, is there anything in the idea of the soul as a sketch? Well, I mean, just the question, is there anything in the idea of the soul? Is it maybe too big a question? Yeah, you're right. So I'm glad that you've limited it to as a sketch. Absolutely.

As my sentences continue, I try to make them make more sense in terms of the context. That's right. I think, you know, for years, humankind has been asking the question, is there anything in the idea of the soul? But I think it's good to break things down into smaller, achievable goals. That's right, because they haven't really got that far with the idea of the soul. Right. And ending the sentence there. Yes. In terms of sketch, you know, I think we maybe we can get an answer. And I think a way that we could work that out if there's anything in the soul of the idea of a sketch is to have us both sitting on a big scale.

Okay. As we try and come up with a sketch idea, and you weigh us at the start and you weigh us at the end, and whatever the difference in weight is probably the weight of the soul as a sketch. That's a good one. Yeah, if once we get it out. This is like nine and a half grams or something?

Yeah. That's what we're gonna do with another movie, like like nine and a half grams or something? Yeah. Yeah. We're going to do another movie like the nine and a half grams, maybe nine and three quarter grams. And that's how much a sketch about the soul weighs. Why? More than the soul itself, which is interesting. That is interesting, but I guess there's more substance to it.

That's the comedy. That's comedy. Comedy weighs .15 of... Yeah. but I guess there's more substance to that's the comedy comedy comedy ways 0.15 of Of the Graham. Yeah, that's just The joke white that's the weight of a joke I think I think you could why I think you could why somebody telling jokes and see See if it it feels quite achievable and assuming that they're not spitting or sweating too much.

Yeah. And there's no like evaporation happening. I would say every time you breathe out, like that you're breathing out some carbon that used to be in there. Carbon and also water. Water weight. So you'd have to be in a sealed thing, right? And I feel like that would interrupt the comedic.

You'd have to be in a closed system with some air conditioning in there so that you're not sweating it up and dying, also not dying. Yeah. I had a thing. I was really surprised when I was young. I mean, and look, and it was not that much younger than this. I have to say it was in the last 15 years when I realized that saliva wasn't water. Oh Gosh Like like like you thought it was pure water. I just thought it was pure straight from the spring

Wow, yeah, let's say like you thought when you buy one of those bottles of like you know spring water Liquid mountain runoff. Yeah, you thought that's equivalent to of those bottles of like, spring water, liquid mountain runoff. Yeah. You thought, well, that's equivalent to what I have in my mouth right now. It definitely seems like it would have been a simpler process to just put water in there. But what about when you lick the back of your hand

and then it smells really bad? Yeah, well, I thought. Did you think about that? I knew that that was a thing that happened, but I just assumed it was more my tongue that smelled. It's just because the saliva was around a stinky tongue or around leftover food. Or maybe the hand, maybe the back of the hand, maybe the liquid activates.

I never smell the back of my hand unless I've licked it. Licked it or something? Yeah, I never sneeze onto the back of my hand. I think that that would be a strange choice. To deal with your life. You sneeze into your elbow? I think I go from, I try to go more elbow pit these days. Yeah.

Yeah. Where else could you sneeze? I guess you could try sneeze armpit. Pit crotch? You could sneeze into your crotch Yeah, I think anywhere where people aren't putting their hands Okay, well no crotch is gonna be an issue for me. Yeah, stay because the leviedel. Yeah, that is a oh Well armpit's gonna be an issue for me. Oh

I get tickled a lot People like to tickle me People like to tickle me. People like to tickle me. You do look ticklable. I think I've tickled theories these days. What do you mean by a tickle theory? I know, but first before we go that, I'm going to write down the idea of tickle theory, so I remember not for you. Sure, sure, sure.

But we have to see if there's any sketch in anything that we've said so far. Well, I like the idea of where you can, regions that you can sneeze into that are publicly acceptable. Okay. Okay, I like it. I think a, and it could be part of a series, Alistair of like a TV series? A TV series?

Sure, a sketch TV series. It could be part of a sketch TV series where it appears as a sketch. But within that sketch, I think it could take the form of a smaller TV series that informs people about sort of new social norms that the government is promoting or that we've all agreed on. So this is set in sort of like North Korea or something like that? Sort of like a white North Korea. Obviously the characters don't have to be white. Oh, well, you know. That could be.

That could be. Why not? People are asking for an ethno state. Okay, so it's these white nationalists. They've created a new place. They've called it white Korea. Correct. Which is a really interesting choice.

They misunderstood something about the Korea naming convention. They thought Korea was a suffix, meaning country. Country, yeah. North country, South country, white country. White country, yeah. Okay. And then, but then. Chick Korea, the...

Chick Korea. The jazz fusion musician. Yeah, okay, and then and then but then chick Korea the Transfusion musician yeah, they thought he was a like a women country chick country and they were actually gonna invade white Korea was gonna invade chick Korea If there's anything in the idea of like diplomatic relations with chick Korea If there's anything in the idea of diplomatic relations with Chick-Curry, or like, due to some sort of administrative error, and you and the Clare sections on Chick-Curry. I mean, I wouldn't be that crazy to picture Trump accidentally nuke in Chick-Curry. If you don't know, I don't want to insult your intelligence for chick career. He's like a jazz pianist or something.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, look, that LSD you may have noticed that made me laugh a lot. Yeah. Look, I read it down. So a war with chick career. Yeah. I'm just writing Trump accidentally. Sure, you write the full thing out there. You take your time. You know, I love it when you

put excess detail in the in the text descriptions of the sketches. But before that we were talking about reasons to, you know, whether or not that is an ethno state, a white ethno state that decides they're going to create some kind of utopia by sorting out these. What are they? They're modern dilemmas. They're not ethical. What's the other one? Ethicate. Ethicate, yeah. And so there are people. I think we can get rid of these white nationalists. I think they're muddying it. I know, I know. But I think like the idea that they're like, they blame all the problems on minorities and other cultures. And so then once they have their own nation, white Korea, right? They now have to set a strict rules that everybody has to follow because maybe they would have been influenced in their youth by some other countries and things like that. So places that your sneeze is one of them that they want to get straight from the get-go.

Right, and so they have a, I guess they would have a diagram or they would have somebody come out as a model and they would indicate the regions on their body, where you can sneeze. Where you can sneeze. Right. Stress that it absolutely has to be your body. Absolutely. You know, a really good place that they could recommend is when you're wearing a business shirt, sneezing into that pocket, into that breast pocket.

Which is really useless for anything else, right? Because soon as you bend over, everything comes out of there. Everything falls out, yeah. Like, has there ever been a single who makes good use of that pocket? I would like to see it. Who has a job where they are never required to bend down? Like the idea of bending down is never even gonna come up.

Right? No, no, no, no. They can just have an open pocket. I tell you what, capitalism means that all the workers are constantly bending over. That's right. For the man. For the man. Yeah, I guess that's why it's a business shit, isn't it?

Because it's the white. Well, it's people, I guess it's a state assembly, right? What you're saying is, I am doing so well that I never have to bend over. I never have to bend over. Or anybody, right? And I can just have things in there. I guess that's what you're saying. I'm secure.

I know, but you know. You know, but then a higher state assembly would be to keep things in like a bowl on top of your head I never have to like it upside down hat. Yeah, I don't even have to nod or yeah I don't I don't have to even tilt for anybody. I don't have to turn Yeah, I guess you could turn Because it's with a straight head I never anywhere where it rains yeah, or Yeah, but then an even greater state of symbol would be to just have things balanced

loose on the top of your dome head or have a second sort of smoother dome or like a helmet or something, like a skateboarding helmet with that smooth dome and you just put objects up there and you're put objects up there. And you're just so little bothered and disturbed that you can just balance your keys and your wallet on the top of your head. And that's just telling the world. That's, well, I guess it's a level so high that you're saying,

I'm not even affected by the judgment of others. You know what, yeah. I could wear a Velcro hat, a Velcro hat, and all of my objects that I own are also made of the opposite Velcro. And I just carry them on my person like that, and I fear no judgment, because this is the freest the person has ever been, no pockets,

but still all your belongings, the convenience of all your belongings with you at all times. Yes. And they can go anywhere on your body. I'm surprised Bill Gates doesn't dress like this, because he's still a slave to convention. That's right. And to whoever it was who decided that that's where pockets have to be, that's where

your keys go. One Buffett slave, Bill Gates slave, Elon Musk slave. That's where your keys go. One Buffet Slave, Bill Gates Slave, Elon Musk Slave. That's right. True Frieden. Guys who are covered in Velcro. Yeah. And have their material positions fuzzy. Now, is that a sketch?

Yes, absolutely that is. I think the pocket patriarchy or whatever it is, like the oppression that is pockets. I also like to go back to something I said that was silly earlier, is the pocket in the middle of your back, as a sort of a form of digital detox, that you put your mobile phone in a pocket in the middle of your back, right? As a sort of a form of digital detox, right? That you put your mobile phone in a pocket

in the middle of your back. And that's so that you just, you know, you can't go to it easily. Maybe you even have to, well, I guess there are people who are flexible who can just reach out and get to that. Reach in their backs, a lot of yogis. Yeah, yogis.

Yogis are the most vulnerable to iPhone addiction, because there's nowhere on their body. They can't reach. They don't even have to put their hand there. They could just put their head around in the middle of their back and just look at the screen. Giraffes and yogis. Giraffes, yogis and those owls. Very vulnerable group and I think we need to legislate to protect them. Man has often looked to the birds and envied their gift of flight. What else if we looked to the birds and envied? Oh, you've already done a joke about this, haven't you? I'm I'm not sure. You wrote one about envy their ability to live in rich neighborhoods

without having to pay land tax. Yeah, well, that's good. That's very good. Anyway, forget it. I'm taking it back. There's no single, to piss and shit and fornicate from a single orifice? It's the dream. Yeah. It's so efficient. It's the cloaca dream. I mean, there must be some, you know, people in Japan, efficiency experts that are working on a human male cloaca. But then greater than that still I think is the starfish, because doesn't the starfish

also use that as its mouth? Oh, I believe. Yeah, that's right. There's one way in, there's one way out. It's like the labyrinth. Yeah, in Japan they would probably design an Injust Starfish that they could fly through the air. You know?

Yes, that was do you? Well, then we wouldn't need birds at all, would we? Well, I mean, that's the point. I guess it's like, you know, to some people, the destruction of the sort of eco-diversity is probably considered a good thing as we're getting to the hardiest things. I call it streamlining. Streamlining, yeah.

You get it down to your top five, say. Yeah, what am I doing? All right. Man, and woman, like this. Thank God, oh yes, we? Yes. And woman, like, that's good. Oh yes, okay. We made it. Tuna, probably.

Tuna. Man, tuna. I guess rats. I suppose rats. Ants. Rats, ants. Man, tuna, rats, ants. Okay, we got one more.

Oh, something. Well, maybe that's it. Maybe that's it. It's an engine. I don't think we can have anant send flies. Flies, I didn't say flies, I said something that flies. Oh, something that flies. It's a pigeons. Okay, pigeons.

You think pigeons? I feel like- I'm not about those brown birds that don't really bother anybody. Yeah, okay. Yeah? Yeah, and get into shopping centers. Yeah. And then just seem to live in there.

They seem to be good. They seem like that's a quite diverse skill. That's adaptability. So there's been a movie about those birds. I think that that's a that's a that's a Pixar movie. That's a there's a Pixar movie in that. I think there's absolutely a Pixar movie. The brown birds. The brown birds just live their whole lives in a mall. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's good. That's basically every other Pixar movie. But with that. But with the brown birds. Yeah. Because nobody cares enough about the brown birds because they're not beautiful. Apparently it's very hard to get funding to research

the common birds like that that are not pretty and that they don't have any mystique or magic about them. Yeah. They don't seem to struggle. They don't seem to struggle. They go on. What can we do about that? Well, we can make this movie, but also could we offer them some kind of a makeover, some kind of species-wide publicity. Maybe a

publicity agent is hired to create some kind of scandal or buzz, maybe a sex tape. To be honest, a Pixar movie would be the perfect thing to drum up some interest in it. I mean, a sex tape would also be great. Get Atenborough involved, get his name attached to it. Yeah, well. You know, he can't do... No, hang on a sec. Is he...

Is he... Is he... Is he supposed to be in the sex? city I mean if you want it to blow up the bird No, but I mean like if it addon brua sex tape came out From this year. Yeah, in a current day. Current day, right? He can't film beautifully. It's beautifully filmed.

Sound is actually just made by some, you know, the guys, you know, what was that scandal? It was a bunch of powder in a stalking. What are you talking about? Oh, I mean, I think there's a comedian John Doer who was doing about this when there was a little scandal about the Adden Bra thing about the polar bear footprints. Apparently, it was revealed that a sound guy was,

like a folio artist was recreating that sound using like powder in a stalking or something like that. Of course, because you wouldn't, you're not miking up the polar bear. Your kilometers away with a long range. His joke is like, you know who comes up with a night, do you like that? It's a sound guy who's been asked to record the sound of a polar bear walking through the snow. Yeah. And yeah, anyway, so, anyway, forget that reference was not worth.

It's fine, it's a good joke from John Doerl. Thank you, John Doerl. And it's not Canadian John Doerl. This is Melbourne-based, same spelling, John Doerl. And this isn't a sort of a group name for John Clark and Brian Doerl, the comedy duo from Sydney. It's DORE. Okay, well, now we know.

Now we know. Edinburgh Sex Tape, it's definitely not a sketch. I feel we would be likely to do. But we could find a way to do it. I know, but we could it could be something we could mention in a sketch I think. Sure. We could mention it. Which one would we mention? I mean, maybe this one about which one would we mention? I mean, maybe this one about regions you can sneeze. What about in a Adam Brosex tape, it's showing enough disregard for things. There you go. We're showing that we don't like it.

And here's an idea that is appalling. Watch us sneeze on it. sneeze on it. These white nationalists are recommending it to their white Koreans. But promoting little brown birds, you're a celebrity agent. You've been hired by whoever it is, Greenpeace or the World Wildlife Fund or something to get some attention to the little brown bird.

So they can get some funding to get a research. They can get some funding. You know, sex tape, maybe a collaboration with another celebrity, or at least a more popular version. Your Andrew Bird. Great. Don't know who that is. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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of him on Facebook and it's like this such and such violinist did a performance in this. It put down a violin case and started playing in kings. I've never seen one of those. I think he almost has too much integrity to make a YouTube video. Yeah good because those things fucking piss me off so much. Because who you know look to be honest to the untrained ear a violinist sounds like a violinist. Has that been yeah exactly especially in the acoustic situation that they're in, people are busy. Can we do one of those with like a scientist, right? This Nobel laureate brought a sample of a Pallonium 231 into King's station, King's Cross

Station and started conducting radio activity experiments. And everyone just walked past like it wasn't it? Yeah, I think that's a good idea. This Nobel Peace Prize laureate settled the dispute between two street vendors in King's Cross station and public just walked past, like it wasn't a big deal. I was trying to think of a Peace Prize winner. Henry Kissinger wouldn't have won one. Woody. Henry Kissinger? Yeah. I don't know exactly what, I don't know enough about him. I know his name and I know people get angry about him. So I probably wouldn't have won a peace prize and I think he's a bit of a war munger, to be honest.

Yeah, right. Is he involved with that American Gothic picture? I doubt it. No, okay. I mean, possibly, it involved in what way romantically? No, that's a scandal. Oh boy. If the only Hanukissinger had been a little brown bird.

We could have really skipped a beat. Yeah. Um, look, I've gotten mock violinist viral videos. Scientists, uh, pace prize. Peace prize. Um, what else is there that's, uh, that's really good? That people could ignore. Oh yeah.

Parenting? A really good parent, a super nanny? Yeah, sure. They just think it's just a normal nanny. And the MMA fighter, they just thought it was a man beating a shit out. Look at the way they show indifference to his fighting style. How quickly he's totally able to knock out this.

What looks to them like just a normal innocent bystander, but what it is, he's actually an award winning bystander. Yes. He's actually like, he's been a... He's actually the world's best violinist. He's the lead violinist of the New York Philharmonic. It's great. So it's a sketch, I think.

Yeah. Maybe it's a series of recurring sketches. Oh, I like that idea, Amy. TV series. Sure, it could have its own spin-off. Yeah. Called series of recurring sketches. Great. Can you ever start with a spin-off?

Be great to start with a spin-off and then do the original series. Well, like you start maybe the movie Moon could have, could be like a spin-off. Tell me how, Alice. Well, the moon is sort of spin-off of the earth. You know what I mean? Like there was some asteroid collided with Earth and then it formed the moon formed it's spanned off. It's spanned off Right continues to spin around and off. Yeah, it's the region. It's the original spin off the original successful spin off people are still watching it

Absolutely. It's still on every night. Yeah People are still trying to get on it? Yeah. They're not anymore really, are they? No, they keep to like, like a good TV show. People are planning to build a moon base on it. Exactly like based off of a. Oh, yes, based on, yeah.

A successful... Spin-off. We're actually based on a successful spin-off. What about spinning something on? Can you, what you do is you get a popular character from a TV show. Right? And then you... You leave them on that TV show? Yes.

But you rotate them really quickly. You leave them on that TV show, but you rotate them really quickly. LSD, that was the best that could possibly have been done with that setup. And I applaud you for it. Unless it was like you start a story within a story and he becomes the main character. Yes. The amazing, rotating man maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get, let's see, Gunter from Friends.

And he becomes the main character in, I want to say, a handmaid's tile. Yeah wow so he's even he's not getting his own series. No no no. So he's just spinning on but is he just a background character in the handsmaid? No it's a main character. Okay right. Oh maybe he's a background character. Maybe you would have to go from being the main character in one show to being a background character in another show. So it would have to be Ross, who is now on the background of the handmaid's tile. Right, that's crazy. This is the feature player maybe he's in the cafe. Maybe he's acting in that movie where Ross plays that Rob Kardashian or whatever.

People versus OJ Simpson. Yeah, so maybe if we pay attention. Yes. Gunter is actually a main character in that. This is a mess. No, but I think like if you want something that would go well virally and think like that is right at TV show or a pilot of Gunter. Yeah. Like, so it's either friends from the point of view of Gunter, Yes. or it's a new TV show, maybe even 10, 20 years on from when friends finish.

Yes. And what's Gunter doing now? Is he still running this cafe? Yeah. You know, I think think people wanna see this. Yeah. And then... Like is it a successful chain?

Or is he like, is he a criminal? He's fighting off. He's fighting off. Probably. He's fighting off. I mean, with a name like Gunter. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, I mean, I guess he's probably divorced. He's unhappy because he didn't necessarily want to be working in, in a hospitality all his life. Yeah. There's probably going to be some stuff to do with minimum wage in America. That's interesting. Yeah.

It's probably going to, he's probably knocking back some takeover bids. Of the, well, it's, it, if he owns that real estate in New York, that's very good. Yeah. He's doing good in that regard, but maybe he's, I mean, I don't want to feel too much from, what's the movie with the guy who turns bad? Breaking bad. Breaking bad. You're referring to everything as a movie, whether it's a TV series. The People vs. OJ Simpson is a TV series,

and Breaking Bad is a TV series. Movie means TV. So I'm just giving you the key to my vocabulary. So he's just got cancer, right? And he can't pay, like he's using up, he's got a reverse mortgage, he's using the equity and the equity of the central perk of Central perk. And he's trying to, this is where, I mean, it takes away a lot of these,

the innocents of this idea. Sure. But that's what I've got so far. I don't know. It takes away a lot of the sort of innocents of this idea. Sure. But that's what I've got so far. I don't know. But I think if we wrote a, you know, remember when that Seinfeld thing came out with the 9-11 episode sitcom script?

No. You didn't see all, man. This was the best. Somebody wrote a 9-11 episode of Seinfeld, like a, like a, what's it called, Like a spec script. Fock. Right. And it's got this idea of like one of the, you know, Kramer knows one of the guys that hijacked the thing. And he's like, he had borrowed my box cutter. You know, and it was like, that was my box cutter that he hijacked the thing with. It was so good.

Oh, shit. Yeah. And so a good to a good to respect. I mean, obviously it doesn't exist yet, but. Yeah. I think what it is is he somehow gets in hock to the mob, right? Something to do, like either there's somehow standing over him in the cafe or something like that.

He owes them money, but somehow he winds up doing small deals for them or allowing them to meet in the cafe and gets drawn into the underworld. Sure. And then somehow, and then occasionally like Ross or Chandler Brunken. And now they all are just just did in the background. Yeah. So that's a spin-on.

Oh, well, it's actually a spin-on. It's not a spin-on. It's actually not a spin-off. I'm just going to write down Gunter. Okay, sure. Do you think it's got an umla? Yeah, I reckon it's probably got two. Two umlaos.

Yeah, yeah. Like on the E, as well. No, no, both over the U. So two sets of umlaos. Yeah, you double umla on that. Yeah, cool. Look, we technically have all the ideas. Well, we're only 34 minutes into the episode, Alistair. Wow. To be like criminally short. That is criminally short. Well, I can keep going if you like. Remember earlier we were talking about the spirit? Yes.

This was before the podcast. Yes. Maybe in a false start podcast. That's right. And I was asking Andy about what you think that the non scientific, another non-magic version of what the spirit would be. As I've said, I've realized that I'm telling you what my own answer was. Tell me what your answer was in the state.

It was either the electric charge or whatever it is that takes these dead atoms from being dead to being alive. Or, it's the thing that allows the cells in us that are not ours, and the cells in us that are ours to work together to create a living being. So the spirit is the spirit of collaboration. Right. So does that mean that when you know three people get together to plan a camping weekend. That the camping weekend has a spirit. Like, you know, because you're talking about collaboration within the human body, being the human spirit.

But there are forms of collaboration that occur outside of that. Like if you commission a sort of a research party to do a feasibility study of building a new swimming pool in the local park, does that have a soul? And when you die, will you meet the feasibility study for the swimming pool in the local park in heaven? Yeah. In fact, could we make a movie called Do Feasibility Studies for local parks go to heaven? I think that's good, yeah. I would say look without...

Look it into it. Look it without looking into it. I'm gonna say yes. I don't think this requires a brain or anything like that, I think. Well, there's something nice to that, right? Like, because in the Star Wars, there's this idea that the force connects us all. And the force is this magic thing. But also what connects us all.

It's connections. It's connections. So the thing that really connects us all is connection. So maybe connections are the forces. It's not there. It's not the other way around. You go into a town where nobody, there's no community spirit. Yeah. Right. Nobody does things together. Nobody's organized anything like that. It feels like a soulless place. Right. You go into a cafe where none of the decor has been chosen well. Nothing goes with anything else. You say it's got no soul or no.

Yeah. It's soulless. It's soulless. Right. So, you know, connections. It's all connections. The knowledge, memories, you know, those are connections, those are what, you know, maybe collaboration is the illusion of spirit.

I'll take it. I'll take it, that's all you got. Is there a sketch in that? Yeah. Do you think it's too hard to get to the point where even just to say that you said the feasibility studies have souls? Well, okay, let's put it this way. Say there's a lecture taking place. Right, maybe it's the Ted talk, maybe it's some guy,

who's that guy, D-packed Chopra or something? I imagine he'd be into this bullshit you're spitting on, Lister. Sure. Right, so he, you know. To be honest, I was trying to take the least bullshit route to something. I know, Lister, I'm sorry, I'm being unfair.

No, it's okay. I just wanted to say something sort of sound powerful. No, you actually, I'm sorry, I'm being unfair. No, it's okay. I just wanted to say something sort of sound powerful. No, you actually, you've never resembled a man more. Thank you. So he's up on stage and he's describing this, you know, how the soul is connections, right? And then he just has to field questions from idiots in the audience. Yeah. Who asked those kinds of things?

Yeah, maybe that's funny, maybe, maybe. Yeah, I could see that. who asked those kinds of things. Maybe that's funny, maybe, maybe. I could see that as a presentation by a sort of like a spiritual leader of some sort when these bullshit spinners. No, you're right, the word bullshit spinner seems perfect. And I think that anyway, these kind of spiritual people like that have to have a pocket in the middle of their back.

After that, definitely the case case because they're vulnerable. Obviously they're all going to do yoga, but I think in order to kind of keep you know cutting a niche in this in this industry of self-help and you know spiritual improvement blah blah blah. There are going to be have to be some people who try to like, I'm cutting the bullshit. None of this magic, right? Yeah. It's collaboration.

So it kind of almost makes sense, doesn't it? Totally, but I think the thing is that those ones that are like, I'm cutting the bullshit, this is all it is. Very often then build their own world of bullshit around that. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, but that's exactly what I'm saying. This thing is own world of bullshit around that. Absolutely, yeah, yeah, but that's what exactly what I'm saying.

Right. This thing is a form of bullshit, but you trick people, you get, you get past their bullshit guards by actually cutting out some of the stuff that they recognize as bullshit, and then you create new bit bullshit. You refine the palatable, palatable pure. You bring it closer to something that sounds like science, right? It's kind of the same thing when people stopped using the word God and started using the word universe.

Or energy. Yeah. Energy or quantum mechanics. Yeah. Right? You can just say, like, oh, there are forces at play, mysterious decisions, or you could say, well, you know, there's things can be in two places at once, and there's quantum locking and quantum entanglement

and blah, blah, blah. Missy use, missy use it. Is there something, Alistair, in the idea of, you go to see, you know how people will go to see it? I don't know if John Edward is still a guy, right? But you go to see a medium like John Edward, and he can put you in touch with dead members of a guy, right? But you go to see a medium like John Edward and he can put you in touch with dead members of your family, right? What about you go to John Edward? Because Carly, my wife Carly, you know Carly, she's currently trying to change her phone over from Optus to Telstra, but she's lost her SIM card from Optus. So he's

enabled to, on the automated phone line, quote the serial number required to access her account in order to change it over. So she's stuck not being able to use either of them right. So you go to a medium who can put you in touch with your lost, say warranty documents from your Hoover 3000 vacuum cleaner or something else like that. You've got things that are no longer with us, they're not always people, are they? Sometimes they're a... Sometimes they're a set of keys. Exactly. Yeah, I mean if you could get in contact with you know your wallet that you left in the back of a taxi. I think that would be beautiful. Sort of like the person is kind of like a homing device

for material possessions. Yeah, or there are genuine psychic, but people in the same way that the defect chopper was being annoyed by people in the audience. They have people who come up and who are just sort of abusing their power a little bit to try and just Follow up on minor administrative things that they can know that

I got this I got this phone number from a guy who's supposed to be really good at repairing diesel motors and I put it Through the wash and now I can't read it anyway if you could okay, I like so so the person actually is like John Edwards. Yeah Or even more than John Edwards. They genuinely have a connection to the socket world. Yeah, right. I do like that now a lot more because... So then he's connecting some people with their dead relatives and the person is just looking for... Yeah. A mechanic in Nova's water. We're so in sync.

Yeah. IPK. Yeah, base. Sub-Ebs. Yeah. Where is Nova Scotia? New Scotland, right? Canada.

Yeah, over in the east there. Over in the east there. Is that the accent? It's definitely... It means New Scotland, right? But isn't it... That's what it means, right? I assume. But then it's like in Portuguese or something. Is it? Oh, a Latin. It'd be Latin. It'd be Latin. Yeah. Do you think the Romans were named it? Do you think that there were ancient Romans who were worried about cultural appropriation with us naming everything after Latin words?

I feel you give up the right to complain after you sort of... After your civilization is? There's wiped out a lot of other countries and there and... Right, I've never colonized it. I see it in Tirewell and imposed your culture on everybody. Yeah, that's the fear of things over there stuff, burn their things.

Yeah, and maintain a concerted campaign to erase and subsue local traditions. Yeah. See what you're saying. Anyway. I'm sorry I'm just writing this thing down. No, no, no, that's fine, Alistair. You go. All right. Well, I think I think we're good. Yeah, I think we're good, Andy. We did it, Alistair. We got back in the tank after a while. The water was cold. What was a bit cold? A bit stagnant. There were a lot of mosquito larvae in there. And we had to rinse it out a bit. We got through a bloody episode, we didn't do more about

our good friends at Harry's raises. Well, you know what that reminds me of. I've got a lot of information. Yeah. Because they have a deal for listeners of two in the think tank. Hold them, Ollie. Alistair, the Mollie in this case is well and truly holy because they are offering $15 worth of value for just the cost of shipping. What do you get for that? You get yourself a five blade razor with a trimmer attachment. Very good trimmer attachment. Get up there under the nose, close to the nostrils. You go to a little travel case to the tip of your razor. Very useful. I've been using this. I've been going on long drives. And. And also, I have a small child.

You know, I want to make sure that this thing is always covered. The child? Yes. So we got your shaver gel. All right, which is beautiful. We've just got smells real good. Smells real good. Okay, you got your nice weighted handle.

A beautiful feeling handle. Oh, it's just the... Not too much weight. It's not a struggle to lift it. No, no, no. And it's not too much weight, it's not a struggle to lift it. No, no, no, no, and it's not too beautifully fit. No, no, no, no, you can frozen there, just lost in there. You get to let go. Yeah, you can move on with your life.

Yeah, absolutely. It's not addictive in any way. No, it doesn't make you feel like your life is peaked. It doesn't come between you and your wife. No, sometimes. Wow. And it's just really good set. All you pay is the cost of shipping, which is nothing, right? In the world is something. Well, it's something. Let me tell you

that in general, okay, Harry's with a precision engineer, German blades, right? They they they can they cost about two dollars a blade. It's about half what you would pay in a other shop. Very good. They do that by cutting out the middle man. How do they cut him out with a blade, it's about half what you would pay in a other shop. They do that by cutting out the middle man. How do they count them out with a razor, probably? German engineer, they do a real good job. Real neat, you could saw up that wound. Yeah, you could sew it up, seal it up with some burning.

Yep, and then quarter-rise. Quarter-rise. They don't do quarter-rising though. Nothing. Because they focus on what they do best and that's razors. Raisers and your Harry's he's got comfort slash think tank. Get yourself it. I'm a guy and you're a guy and with some guys,

I think that's true. You and me, we do a podcast. Yeah, we do. Just that's too. Sorry, sorry about that. Honestly, it is wonderful. Thank you very much. Oh, we do. Just so sorry about that. It is wonderful. Thank you very much to everybody who has ever listened. And if you are new, welcome. Thank you. If you are old, welcome. Thank you. And if you didn't listen, it's fine. Welcome. Thank you. Welcome. Thank you. It doesn't matter. I don't treat anybody differently.

Alistair, we would like people to write and review a Sun Eye Jones. We'd like them to... If you want, you can follow us on Twitter. On Twitter, at Two in Tank. I'm also at Alistair TB. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. We're also on the Facebook.

Yeah, you can find us there. Yeah. And we're part of the Planet Broadcasting Corporation. And in lots of great podcasts, you should listen to the weekly planet if you've never heard of them. I just listened to DoGo on. How often does that come out? Weekly, I believe. Or Planet. Maybe once planet terribly yeah planetarily and others you know anti-dona steel wars What's the issue one serious issue? Serious issues. Yeah, there's a lot of good stuff Also, I just appeared on an episode of

Sans pants radio Sans pants radios can't wait to listen to that. Yeah, is there a plum in the Death Star? It gets a little bit filthy somewhere in there. But I think it's quite funny. Oh, do you? And we talk about, I mean, we just talk about what super heroes or what fictional characters should have a dog or a pet.

Oh, well, that's fine. That's not filthy at all. Well, that gets weird. So check that out. We're also on Patreon. Thank you to everybody who has donated. You guys can go to Patreon. Thank you so much for having a few new people jump on board. Yeah, we got heck. Yeah, thank you very much. And for the rest of you, we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.

Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu.

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