Two In The Think Tank - 115 - "SPLIT A RAT"

Episode Date: January 23, 2018

Dip Spitters, Theoretical Biologist, Thirdsty, Shaping Young Heads, Rat Prism You can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!) Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family  You can find us on twitter at @twointank Andy Matthews: @stupidoldandy Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb And you can find us on the Facebook right here A bevvy of thanks to George Matthews for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with five stitch ideas. I'm Andy. And I am Alistair Jojo William, Trumbly virtual. Thank you very much for laying your ears upon my voice. Your ears are like the train station. Yeah, and my voice is like a person wanting to catch a train. Yeah, great. And then I was gonna say that your ears are like a dream catcher. Okay, and my voice is a nightmare. LSD, you do it best when you bring all the parts of the metaphor yourself. Sure. I mean, I thought this was like a sort of one of those parties that's like a bring a plate but with a metaphor. Sure. So it was like, oh, bring a, bring a similarly, bring a synonym. Yeah. And those, and those parties are great.

As long as everybody brings their own plate and it's not like you're bringing a plate of let's say crackers and cheese, but instead of doing that, you bring the crackers and your friends like, I'll bring something else to put on the crackers like that, and then they're like, I brought a different type of cracker. And you go, okay, that's cool. It's just not exactly what I was thinking. And so we'll find a way to make it work

to get the two types of crackers to work together. Yeah, well, I mean, it's not what we are, just two different types of crackers working together. I'll just tear. Anyone who came to the Sandfance radio gig the other night would be a source in our pasty flesh would agree with you. We are just a couple of crackers.

Now if we were to biscuits, so to biscuit crackers, which one of us do you think that you would sort of chew up and sort of get all moist with your saliva and spit back into a jar so that you could dip the other cracker into it? Well, I think I'm kind of drier requiring more spit. And so probably I would be like a scotch finger. I think I'm kind of drier requiring more spit. Yeah. And so probably I would be like a scotch finger. Yeah.

And then I think that would chew up well and be a nice, real nice, real nice paste. It's at least sweet. And then you'd kind of maybe be more like a, sort of like a digestive. Oh, again, not a traditional dipping biscuit. No, no, no, no, absolutely not. Well, that's interesting. Well, that's interesting. There's a bit of sweetness to you. But then some would say that chewed up scotch finger

is not a traditional dip. So that's true. We're just two types of crackers trying to make it work. They don't even really crackers. They're more a sweet biscuit on both accounts. Which are different types of crackers. We, but dips, right, at a party. What's your different types of crackers? We... But dips, right, at a party, really are like a...

a chewed up food, in a way, aren't they? And we sort of tell ourselves, because it's not being vomited into our mouths by a large bird, but instead because we're picking it up on a small, weaty disc, we pretend like we're somehow different to baby birds in the nest. But the reality is that we're not. No, a food processor is very much just a stand-in for our mother's mouth.

Exactly. Right, and... And, you know, they don't even try and hide it, right? One of the famous dip brands is called Black Swan. There you go. They're not even trying to hide it. No. I mean, how thin a veil do you want to put over a rick-urgitated food?

Another one's called Fruit of the Gallet. Oh, no. And then there's a third one that has an even more obvious. Oh, really? Yeah, no. What did I do it? I know. It's crazy.

They must think we're idiots. I don't know how they do it. We clearly are. So, okay, so the, it's gotta be a thing like, I guess like, look, we just, just probably have some kind of sketch in the somewhere. Well, I think like what about, is this two disgusting, I don't know, but literally it is, it is a party, right?

And people are about to arrive. And somebody's like, haven't done the dips. And the food processor is broken for some reason. So they just put all the ingredients in there, and chew it up, and spit it back into a bowl. Sure, and then maybe there's somebody else there to witness it, maybe their partner, who wonders about the ethics of it.

Yeah. And then they start having a bit of a debate while they're chewing about what is a dip. Oh, while they're chewing, I love it. Their mouths are full. Yeah. All right, we can debate as we chew. I hear you. And then if at the end of the debate you win, I'll spit it into the compost. Yeah.

But we don't have time to wait for the outcome of the debate before I start chewing because the guests are going to arrive any second now. That's right. And if they see you chewing, it'll be even less ethical because then they'll know what they're eating. And then they'll be hurt emotionally. That's right. Or they might choose not to eat it and then we'll waste all this food. But I think we'll still hurt them emotionally because they'll know that they're hosts of the kind of people who expect them to dip... Dip spit.

Dip and dip it. Dip and dip it. Yeah, what if they also didn't have crackers? Wow. Okay, so what are they doing there, honestly? Flakes of skin off my back? Yeah, I mean, some of those skin. Oh, there's a dead bird in the back and uses bones?

You know, like a really dry dead bird. All the worst thing of all, we could just cut up some celery. Oh. Yeah, I know. Like, not the good bits of the celery further down. The bits up the end near the leaves that are real bitter and horrible.

It's not a real thin. Yeah. Nobody likes the thin. So is that a sketch? I think so, yeah. Dips bitters? Yeah, okay, let's call them dip spitters. But I wonder if there's, like, yeah,

I think like we could have these people as dare I say. Now, dare I say. Do I dare? Women? No. Okay. Oh, look, it's good. No.

No. I think to at least one of them is a woman. Absolutely. Look, it was a very heteronormative sketch. I think one was in my mind, one was a woman, and one was a man. Right. Is there such a thing as homonormative?

Could that be, you think? Yes. I want this to be our first homonormative sketch. What if we, I think you could make a sketch show called homonormative. Absolutely. And it's entirely takes place within same sex uvra. Yeah. I don't know what the word uvra means. Is it French for egg? No, that's f. That's a f. Okay, good. But but it probably comes from the same origin in some ways, it's got that OE at the beginning.

The same origin. And it comes from a cloaca. The whole legs come from a, oh wait, do frogs have cloacas? Yes. What about planet pushes? Yes. They have a cloaca. The cloaca is the official orifice of the two

in the thick tank podcast, Elisdeck. I can't believe you don't notice about our, our partner orifice. And it really is the Swiss Army knife, orify. Andy, when's the last time you did something nice for your orifice? It's what it is, right? It's like one of those budget companies that offers to roll all your debts together

into one that easily manageable loan. Because the real problem with owning lots of money is having all the different people that you owe it to and you lose track. If only you owed slightly more money to one high fee charging corporation. This is like that. You seek of trying to maintain all your orifices. You combine them into one easily wiped hole. Yeah, that's the cloaca. It does everything. Oh, I see.

Have I supposed to talk about this? If it was both a, like, okay, wait, is there a creature that has a mouth as well as that has all of its holes? I think that's one starfish. The starfish. Right. Let's see, okay, that makes sense.

Yeah, so it doesn't have ears. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no semi-hole? Yeah. I mean, they're like, That's a semi-permeable hole. It's more a socket, isn't it? It is more of a socket. It's pretty linked and it's got a couple of doors on them. It's a hole, but it's full. It's a full hole, yeah. I mean, one could ask, is it still a hole if it's full? And it has an open door policy,

but it's closed a lot of the time. That's right. Two-thirds, a third of the time. That's right. A third of the time. A third. Are we asleep on a third? Any third. Anyway, it's funny that this starfish is the creature that I was picturing in my mind that has only one hole.

The consolidated holes. Because I would picture, if I was to just create one, I'd create that only had one hole. I picture it would kind of look like a spherical bag. A little bit like a, you know when the scrotum goes firm, I do. The scrotum kind of goes a bit firm. So not droopy scrotum. It's possible that some of our listeners for whatever reason don't know about this. I don't maybe they live in a really warm climate. Yeah. All right, or there that was seen as a scrotum.

But even the desert gets really cold at night. It does, yes. So then the desert is probably not right, but let's say like an equatorial country. But because the scrotum is designed to keep the sperm at a constant temperature, it has a function where it can be raised and lowered like the back of a budget moving truck. It goes up and down and according to the temperature. And it would... And you could draw some little lines on your thigh, like on a thermometer, a mercury thermometer,

so that you can calibrate the height of the balls to the... Anyway. Anyway, I would picture it sort of somewhere between a blowfish and a scrotum. Yes. But just one hole. Yes. But then it would also sweat out there. It would...

That's its pore. Maybe it only has an eye that is a retractable eye. Right. And then allows fecal matter or, you know, out or food in. But then the eye comes back in. Yeah, which is great because you probably don't want your eye looking out there when you're shooting anyway. You don't want to shoot it.

Well, it would shoot around the eye. It would shoot like it would sit like ooze over the eye. Sort of like one of those, like one of those water features that you kind of get where there's that big bowl. The big boulder, and you can kind of spin it because of the water. Yeah. It would be like that, but with effluent.

And an olive oil and a clavicle acrobatophic. Yeah. But instead, I guess to make it work, you could, uh, you could put the eyeball at the end of a tongue. So that way it still gets to have a tongue and the tongue kind of holds the eyeball in place until it retracts it. Yeah. That way you could still taste whether or not stuff is poisonous. Do you really want to be able to taste?

I think you're, I think you're sacred. But when you, at some point in your consolidating all your holes into one whole thing, you give up on the tongue. Give up on taste. I wonder whether or not the idea of good and bad tastes is a constructive society. Right. It's cool. Because I've had a child.

Yes. And at that age, at this point, doesn't seem to really know that smells are bad. Really? Yeah, I don't register. It doesn't seem like he registers. He doesn't go like, like the only time he goes poor,

like that, which is a sound that I would make sometimes when I'm changing him. Yeah. I feel like he only does it because he knows the context in which I would do that. That's not his sound. What we're saying is that much in the way that children aren't born with racist, like with that kind of prejudice, also children aren't born smelling with any kind of prejudice towards any smells of any kind. Yeah, wow

And so I think that this this sort of scrotal bag creature firm scrotal bag it could still taste it could still taste But it wouldn't it would just be like oh no, that's that's poop Right, so I don't know if there's a sketch in that No, look, I don't know The creatures itself a dead end. Here's another interesting observation. Both in that, you know, it's just a cul-de-sac creature. Yeah. But also, the results in those sketches.

So cul-de-sac, that would be higher up the leg. And actually, it's got the word cul, which is ass and French. Really? Cute. And then sack, which is what the creature is. It's an ass sack. It's an ass sack. Of sack.

Which is what I was... This is amazing. This works on, well, I mean. At least one level. Yeah, and you could probably turn a car around on it as well. Absolutely. The car was small. It was really big.

And it would just get moved by getting pushed by the wind. The wind or, I guess, you know, big tidal motions maybe. Yeah. I would want to be aquatic if I was that creature that's all I'm saying. I know that this is kind of similar to an idea we came up with last episode. And let's say lay it on me. But theoretical biologists are, you know, and this is very similar to the cryptozoologist that we came up with, with mythical creatures, but this is one that comes up with creatures

that could theoretically work in terms of like there are a full system, there's a waste part, there's an eating part. I think this is good. And I think like it's it's then it's it's from a universe in which it's then incumbent on people to prove that the creature doesn't exist, right? In a like you know, it used to be that we would go out and we would discover animals and we would document them and that would be the evidence of their existence. Yeah. But but I think the idea that you could just make up an animal.

And then we say, you know, until you prove to me, much like God, that this doesn't exist, I'm going to believe that it's there and I'm going to put it in the zoological dictionary, which, but now the zoological dictionary is enormous. Well, actually, like thinking about it like this is that if you can make it work, like if you can Theoretically you look at its systems and you go this would be able to sustain a creature like you know with By saying that there is a chance that it will exist in a universe in a infinite universe then it is inevitable that one will exist in a universe, in a infinite universe, then it is inevitable that one will eventually exist. Yeah, right. And therefore, I think this is good because also, once we, like, if we know that they must exist out there somewhere, then there's

a chance that in our expansion into the universe will come across and will encounter them at someone. And therefore, it is important that we work out whether or not they're useful in some way. Like we come up with procedures for how we would deal with them, would we eat them, would we try and, you know, turn them into a beast of burden? Yeah. Or maybe form a society, you know, they might be intelligent or some kind of...

We need to figure out very early on the threat. Before we travel all those hundreds of thousands of layers. Exactly. It could be anything. How do you kill it? Yeah. We'll design it, then find its weak spot. I reckon the fact that it doesn't have any legs or arms. It moves only by being pushed by the wind.

That's one of its weakness. That's a gimmie, that one. That's an easy kill. So yeah, so once you put a little rock on it, stop it from blowing around, it'll die. You stick a rock and it's one hole. And it's one hole. You just come up, you show up there with just a bit of cork.

Yep. You can plug that thing up. All right, before you get on the spaceship, have you got your bit of cork? on the spaceship. Yeah. Look, I've written down theoretical biologists. That's absolutely a sketch. And I've written a half a sketch because it's kind of... No, I think it's a full sketch.

Okay. Yeah, and I realize that it's a bit similar to the one that we came up with last time, but I think if anything, the one last time was a half a sketch, this to me feels now like the full sketch. Why? I think we need to go back and modify that. With how expensive space travel will be, it does make sense. Like we're going to be talking like trillions of dollars, and trying to get, you know, 30 light years away, like kind of thing. The idea that you would come up with creatures first,

and then just try to find them in the universe before you even leave home. None of this wandering like the enterprise or whatever they do in storage. That's not that financial evil. You're paying all of those people in that spaceship. I don't know about that. Yeah, we're finding the one thing that we know that we need and we're going out for that.

Yeah. It's like we're going to the supermarket. You go with a list. Because of rails, especially if you go out looking for real-word creatures, if you're hungry, you'll come back with all these creatures you don't need. Yeah, or creatures that, when you eat them, they won't be good for you. That's right. They're just going to give you a short-term sugar rush. Okay.

Bees made a full sugar. We talked about this. I don't think we talked about this on the podcast. But the idea of like not only should you not shop hungry, but I did we talk about this? I can't remember. But as a farmer you shouldn't plant hungry. You know, if you're a farmer never sow the fields while you're hungry because you're going to sow some kind of high sugar, high fructose food Corn or something, I think you're just gonna be thinking about Doritos or whatever. Yeah, you want to you want to have a good full stomach before you sow

the field also never design a Gary and policy on an empty stomach. All right never formulate agricultural policy, okay? When you're feeling peckish, because you're put in place the incentives in the market. Yes. All right, the subsidies and the tax breaks that will incentivize the growing of food that is not healthy for you in the long term. Okay. Also.

Yes. Don't. Yes. Don't eat while you're hungry. That's very good. Because then you'll just eat food that will... That you want to eat. You want to eat when you're not hungry.

That way you can just eat anything. I only eat on a full stomach. Yeah. That way you won't risk over eating. Don't ever do anything when you want to do the thing because you'll just do the thing that you want to do. All right. I only do it when you desperately don't want to do it and it's a bad idea.

Don't breathe when you're thirsty for air. That's right. Do we have a word for that? Thirsty for air? We don't do it. Isn't that strung, Yellow State? It is weird. There's no...

You know? I mean, gasping is more of a... Gasping is more of a... We got horny. We got horny. We got... We got... Anci. Anci. Is that when you kind of just don't want to feel? is more of a is more of a we've got 40 you got horny we got

Anci and see is that like when you kind of just don't want to feel when you want to move these are all the all the Requires from life right. There's a seven requirements for a lot to do to define if something is live or maybe five and see say five Right, why does you want to move right? Why does you want to eat why is it you want to? Use water yeah, right? Why is that you want to move, right? One is you want to eat, one is that you want to use water, right? One is that you want to reproduce. Dirty. That's the thing. Yeah, exactly. One of them is that you want to store and use oxygen, right?

So, and one of them is energy. Are these real or these ones you're making? These are all things, then these are all things. But do you want to move? That's one? Well, that you move. You know, there's a sign of life. So all the things have a word for them, except for oxygen.

So we should come up with one. Okay, here we go. Oxygen thirst. All right, no, that wasn't it. I was just preempting what is... You were just priming the... Yeah. Priming the gun, the weapon.

Oh, the weapon. Breath... Fempty. Breath empty? Breath empty. Bremty? Breathless. Breathless? Yeah.

Well, it's already it would. No, no, but that doesn't mean that. It doesn't mean that, doesn't. No. No, I mean, you use breathless. Actually, usually you're breathless when you're having way more breaths. That's true. Yeah. You're breathful. That should be breathful. Breathful. Yeah. All right. Well let's swap that

one out. That one. Breathful. Breathing. Breathing. But then also when you're thirsty you're not waterless. No. How did they originate thirsty? Where's the origins of that? Ther... it's like three. Was that third? It's like, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, that suffix. Let's be like 30 as well. 13, yeah. Yeah. What's the name, did it? So maybe, maybe hungry for air should be called four-ste.

Right. Or five. Okay, first-ste? Well, it's a bit like first-ste, isn't it? Well, now it's thirsty. Okay, firsty. Well, it's a bit like firsty, isn't it? Well, now it's thirsty. Okay, firsty. Look, they should just be numbered. No, but okay. The things that you need for life, right?

Forny, that could be horny. Yeah, forny. Sevenste. Yep. That's produced waste. I think we think produced waste is another one. Seven ste? Yep. That's produce waste. I think produce waste is another. That's the seven.

Okay, seven ste. Six ste? Six ste. Six ste. Maybe is... Sexty. It's sex. It's like sex.

We've already got fourne. Oh no. Oh no. Okay wait. Okay. First ste? First ste. That's you need to drink, right? That's three, right? Thirsty. That's third D. Well third D. Fourth D. Yeah. Fifth D. Yeah. Sixth D. Seven C. Anyway, we're not going to go through them now. Second C?

Second C, that can be breathing or something. Okay, or Tuesday. Tuesday. Great. That's number Tuesday. That'll be the waste. That's produced waste, great. And this way, we can number the requirements for life.

That's right. Right, and then you, what it'll be,, you will be able to get through life knowing only seven words. That's right. And they're not even words, they're just numbers. They're not numbers. So if you know the numbers, the numbers one to seven, you'll be able to fulfill all your basic needs. And in this way, we can dumb down the education system to the lowest possible level.

That's right. And if we can teach those numbers to rocks, we can probably make them alive. Great. Okay. What we should be doing instead of searching for alien life, intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is we should be redefining intelligence down to the most basic building blocks. So the point where even building blocks are capable of being defined as intelligent. If you can learn the numbers one to seven, you can get by in a human society.

You can become a valuable member of society. Yeah. If being a valuable member of society is just being alive. Yeah, and fulfilling whatever your basic needs are to meet those criteria. Yeah. Which bloody hell, I mean, tell you what, that's bloody about 30% of the population around here. Whoa.

So how is this a sketch? This is the fundamental... Yeah, well, I like, I know it's my suggestion, I'll say it. But like, is it wrong to put this in an education context, in that they are redesigning the Australian curriculum in some way? And so that we're trying to make it, what is the, you know, it's got to the point where kids these days are so dumb. I know this isn't what's happening, all right? I know kids are actually, and IQs are increasing and kids are actually more capable, generation on generation in the generation before, but old people don't think that.

Old people think kids are dumb these days. So we're playing to that stereotype and we're talking about a new national curriculum which really reduces everything down to learning, the numbers one to seven, and those become also the only words that you need to know so that you can get what you need. What, no geography.

What about British history? Oh, and British history. We also teach you the history of the kings of England. You know, you've got to memorize the year. You know what I thought was quite interesting? Was that when you're a kid and you're learning stuff at school, people say, you're never gonna use this in life. When am I ever gonna use this, right?

And I can testify when I was teaching, I did have someone say that. Yeah, great. See, so it's not just, I'm not just speaking out of sorts here. Not at all. No. And there's a type of philosophy,

which I can't currently remember the name of, that is basically that, is like... Is it utilitarianism? Yeah, utilitarianism. There's this idea that kids in high school are these utilitarians to do with information. It's like, I think at this point in my life, I know that you can have information and you can just have it because it colors your life knowing it and it's just a kind of good things to know, like history and things like that, you don't necessarily have to have a purpose

for it. But what it is really is it is shaping the brains of children. And if we said that we wanted to shape any other part of a child, that would be considered wrong. And yet somehow, because it's the brain and you're forming neural connections and you can't actually see it, you're allowed to get away with it. It's a bit of a scam. It's a scam, because if you can't... It's a gray area, that's why they call it gray matter. Gray matter? It's the gray area of the body. Of the crime.

Of the body. Of bodily alteration. But if you came in one day and you said, I would like, if the government shaped the hands of children, it'd be an outcry. Because you could, you know, let's say you could, you could get sort of clothes pegs on the back, pinch that back skin, pinch it for long enough that it kind of starts to kind of stay like that, like it looks like the ridge on the back of a lizard. What if you put a string around the end of the ring finger, right? And you tied that back to the elbow, right? And you say you shortened that, right? Or I'd buy a couple of millimeters a day, yeah, until that.

or buy a couple of millimeters a day. Yeah. Until that. This holiday season give the gift of glow with Ocea's limited edition super glow body set. This three-piece kit has everything they need to

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Through the educations, yeah, the Senate. You know, and if you started sort of just like making little slices with a knife at the bottom of their hands, like that, they just created like sort of skin flaps. So they had a lot of skin flaps up and you do that up their hand. So it's all rough. So it's all rough and like looks like scales of a dragon, but it actually gives you extra grip. I mean, but it's like a dry skin grip.

Sure. It's a useful thing. Sure. Much like knowledge. Much like knowledge. But you won't be allowed to do that. No. And I think that it's wrong that you can't do that.

Oh, that's yeah, okay I love the side of the argument that you took at the end of that. Yeah, well, I was well because I you know I don't I guess you didn't know what side I stood on no Because I mean I could have been using this as an argument for saying that's why we shouldn't be allowed to shape Children's minds, but I'm saying that we should be allowed to shape any part of a child we want. Over the course of 12 years. Yeah, we're getting 12 years to shape

the inside of a child's head. Yeah, like in Japan, you could do, like you could make a kid into a sort of like a square watermelon. Hahaha. Like they do in Japan. And you should be allowed to sell the kid on a street market. Because you're shaping them into a product. Well, the whole idea of education is to turn the child into a, I guess, a more useful member of society. But who's to say that a more useful member of society

wouldn't be someone who had scaly hands or a finger that bent backwards or was the shape of a cube? You know, very often we hear from employers that they're not getting the young graduates that they need to fill the positions in their company. What if the position they need filled is that of a brick? That's right. Yeah. I mean, and what's...

It must be very frustrating for them. It's because we don't know what position they're in and what the what the holes, they don't tell us what the holes they need filled look like. Right. Are they cubes? Are they rectangular prisms? Mm-hmm. Are they...

Let's see, say, an extruded rhombus. Yeah, they extrude rhombus. Or, you know, is it a more complex shape? Is it sort of like the outline of like a tiger? You know, are they only two dimensional holes? That's right. We can do this if you give us the information, so we're going to ask for feedback from industry about what shape children they want and then we will and it will take a while to get it all you know Get the changes through but in 12 years time you'll see the first generation of kids coming through who have The shape that industry requires from them 12 years ago and I think it's about taking a top-down approach Right, and I think we need to speak to employers,

to see, to look at what they want, so that then we can consult with regards to their holes, and then shape the curriculum in such a way, that the kids find out what boxes we wanna put the kids into, whether it's like a small box, or like an old tiger skin or whatever. Yeah. But then it's also not in anyway.

I was just wondering while I was thinking about this before while we were talking, is a black circle? Yes. Is that a 2D hole? Oh wow, okay. Alistair. That's really interesting.

Right? Because, well, I wonder, I wonder because surely a deep hole is less of a 2D hole than a shallow hole. Right? Not shallow-howl. Not shallow howl, shallow hole. Right, so you, the shallow hole gets closer to being 2-dimensional, it becomes. But just before it becomes 2-dimensional, like a really, really deep hole, I agree would appear black, right? Because no light would come out of it.

But as that hole becomes deeper, it becomes shallower, it will start to reflect light, right? To the point where a flat hole would reflect totally light. So it would not be a black, so. But if it was black, is there not space for light to be trapped in? Is light trapped in or is it just not reflecting? It's absorbed in some way.

Is it possible for anything to be completely 2D in a three-dimensional world? I mean, I guess because even if it was like one atom thick, it would still have a thickness. That is true. I'm just trying to work that out in my mind. Well, you know, you could say you have it arranged, you know, Alistair, we're going to throw that one out to the list list list list list list list list and a question feedback question. Is it possible for something to be truly 2D in a 3D world?

And and Can it can you is a black circle a 2D hole if there's any I don't know if the who would you ask for that a mathematician a physicist? Sure, maybe a philosopher we could do any of those the consult the most intelligent Thing in the Nolan universe, which of course is a 20-year-old man at a party who's had three beers and a puff of a spliff. And we're consult with one of those. If you are currently fit those requirements then please write it everything and we'd love to hear from you. Alistair, we received from one of

our Patreon supporters. Yes. Three words. You are kidding me. I shit you not even slightly. So like these are the three words that we said that if you were contributed to the Patreon and... Yes. And three dollar contributed to the Patreon. Two three dollar contributed to the Patreon. Then you get the right to send us three words, a dollar a word. A dollar a word. But we won't, we're not for individual sales, so we're not selling individual words. I'm sorry. Right, they come in a packet of three that you give to us for some reason. Fun-size words.

Yes. We will try and work on a sketch based on that. And this week's words come from Jason. Jason. Who on Twitter is at Nest Y O Jason. Jason. Who on Twitter is that nest Wyoming? Yeah. And his words are rat, split, and light. Oh.

Rat, split, light. First of all, when you told me these earlier, yes, instead of split, it was split. Oh, I can't remember if it was split or split. But you know what, the great thing about split and slit. It is split. It is split. Yeah.

Slit is a word that people don't think of as much about as split. You reckon? Yeah. Well, I guess split is also a verb. Oh, so slit. Yeah. But also if you split, you make a slit a lot of the time. Very often.

Yeah. you split, you make a slit a lot of the time. Very often. Yeah. Which is, you know, it's good. Okay, split like, so, you know, if you run a light through a prism, you get a rainbow. Yeah, and the different colors, but what happens if you split a lot of light being true or rat? No, I was gonna say, if you put a rat through a prism. True prism.

What do you get out the other side? Okay, but do you want to go with yours? No, no, I like yours. Well, because a rat is made light, white light, right, you can split it into different colors through a prison because it has these different characteristics that are contained within it. So maybe a rat, if you could split it through a prison,

would split up into the different characteristics of the rat. Snakiness. Snakiness. Um. Um, resourcefulness. Being gross. Being gross. To some people. Yeah. But also loved by others. But also great breeder. Yeah, right fantastic fantastic breeder and good for scientific experiments Right, and I think it'd be fantastic. There might be others there might be other attributes each each plastic cabling

What about its ability or or it's it's the way that it's organ arrangement is the same as ours in our body Is it I think apparently? I think, apparently. Really? I think that's why they dissect rats a lot. I think their organs are in roughly the same place as ours. Oh, wow. If there's any person who's the top of their field in biology, or even at the bottom of

the field of biology... Anywhere in the field. Anywhere in a field. Anyone who's near an animal were an open rat. Let us know. An open rat. A split rat. Split rat. No, okay, so I like this a lot, right? We get all these properties of the rat, the characteristics of the rat, and then we can use them for different things, right? Because they think a rat as a whole can be difficult, because it's a bundle of characteristics, it can be difficult to do anything specific with. With just a rat, yeah.

But we split it up, and then we can use those in industry or in science. Sort of sort of like with a laser, but you could create, let's say, like a laser of intense rat resourcefulness. Like that and shoot at a high intensity, maybe at a mirror first. I mean, that would be really interesting, but I'm wondering, like, wouldn't you want to shine it at like something that requires resourcefulness? Yeah, rat resourcefulness. Rat resourcefulness, like, you know, somebody who's lost in the bush, like somebody's lost out in the forest.

Oh wow. Right, you can't reach them right now. Okay, but we should shoot. From a satellite, you can shoot them with rat resourcefulness. Oh god. They've just got a GPS that lets them know where they are. From a satellite, you can, and then they can, we picked up their lives on.

Yeah, and then you can, you can, and then they'll start borrowing, and they'll start like chewing through wood. Yeah. Maybe we're through a cardboard box. Yeah. They're so resourceful. They'll be oats in there or something.

You know, it's about. It's about that experience. It's about the... Well, they can find shelter in some way. They'll be afraid of the light. That being afraid of being out in the open light will protect them. They'll scurry under something. They'll scurry. They'll get under a log.

They'll get under a big rock. Maybe we should shine them some scurrying ability, is what? All right, well, so if we could just shine a full rat onto them. I'll know I've shown them with wants to faulicate with rats. Oh. Being one of the characteristics of the rat. That's, yeah. Bama Stey.

For a while there, when you were first talking about running a rat through a prism I was thinking what if instead of a prism it was a greater like a cheese greater So using this tree's got it we're able to split the rat up into bits of rat Okay, it feels less like a scientific breakthrough else then. But what if it was like a clear, you know, so that it's kind of like a piece of garlic, right? That in order to get the fullness out of it, you really got to crush it into small bits

and then, then you can get out all its properties. Like garlic taste, stickiness on your fingers, persistence, strength. I don't know if it's easier to get this stuff out of a squashed rat, there it is to get it out of a full rat. Okay. Do you have to make the rat really hot?

Do you have to use like E equals MC squared in this? Get it really hot and turn it like it's mass into energy? Yeah, I think really hot or maybe just moving really, really quickly, I think the, it's waveform, oh, maybe not. Maybe it's waveform. What's going to be wrong with the waveform of the rat? I think, I think you want the waveform properties of the rat

to be significant enough because the problem is, right? What's the problem with this? The problem, Alice there is that in order to, so, okay, because all matter has a wave particle duality, but the problem is that the wave component of most matter is much, much smaller than the size of the matter itself. So you wouldn't be able to shoot the matter through a slit as in the young's double slit experiment in order to observe the diffusion and the wave properties of that object. Okay, which is why you can do a wave, you know, a double slit experiment with electrons, which is small enough, but you can't do it with a baseball, which is too big.

So what could you do it with bigger slits? No, because the slit has to be smaller, unfortunately, so that you can get interference with the wave component. It interferes with itself as a wave, so yeah, it's a, and that's what I have. A resting baseball doesn't have a certain natural wave form. That's an interesting question. Does a stationary object have a wave? Yes, I think so.

I think it does. Yeah, cool. But it's very, very small. Okay. And I think, yeah. So interference, you say? Interferent, Celeste. Yeah, it interferes with itself.

On both sides of the... Now, what do you think here? We've kind of a trailed off look. Yeah, we sure have. But that was fun. That was fun. I like that. I like that.

I'm splitting the rat. Thank you, Jason. At Nest Wyoming. At Nest Wyoming. For supporting us on Patreon. I hope you feel like you've got value for your $3. Yeah, I hope so too. And if anybody else wants to get value for their three dollars, or just wants to support the sheet and go on our patreon.com slash two and tank. And if you have a better sketch for a red split light. Yeah. Why don't you fuck off. No, sorry. I mean, I mean,

I'm sorry, he gets like this sometimes. I get very defensive. No, yeah, tweet at us at two in tank. Yeah, or Facebook at us at two in tank. Right. Whatever. Do you want to take us through the sketches that we've come up with? I'll take a few of the guys I'll stick.

We've got dips, spitters. These are people who are, you know, this is, you know, it is a short film where, you know, it's a conversation between a couple. This is in a homo normative world. So it's either two men, two women, or any mixture of two of the same of any person along any spectrum of gender. Correct. Great. Did that well. And then, God, I haven't got to the meat of this thing. Yeah. They've got guests coming over.

The food process is broken. The food process is broken, but they need dip. So they just start chewing it up. Start chewing. And now, they say that we'll work out the ethical nature of this as we're chewing, but there's no time to work it out beforehand. That's right. Sometimes you just got to jump in and start doing it.

You start doing it just so that it can be- And then ask questions later. Yeah. And so then they start talking about, you know, what even is a dip? Is it just anything that you can lift with a cracker? Yeah. You know, is it sort of a semi-liquid? Does it, you know, how small do the particles have to be for it to still be considered? Does it have to be moist?

Does it have to be moist? Yeah. How dry can it be and still be a dip? You know, it could, it's like a cocoa powder or cinnamon powder with sugar in it. Is that a dip? Because you, you know, you can sit it with a cracker. Wizfizz, is that a dip? Mmm. And so these are some of the questions, you know, and also how big are the grains?

Can the grains, you know, the particles be in there? Is say like a bowl of, of, um, Cheerios? Is that a dip? Yeah. If the thing that is going on the biscuit is bigger than the biscuit, is it a dip? Yeah. Like, do their rolls then reverse, and the biscuit is bigger than the biscuit is at a dip. Or do their roles then reverse and the biscuit becomes the dip. Oh yeah. That's right. And so these are all

the things we'll talk about. Then we've got a theoretical biologist, these are biologists who can come up with a working system for a living creature. In a creature that they can they can just kind of come up with, but as long as they can make it work in terms of you know, they design all the veins. All the bits go together in the right order. How many orifices they have, you know, whether or not they're sort of scrotum shaped. All the big questions.

All the big questions. And then if they can come up with a system that works, then because we live in a universe that is infinite, then all possible, you know, anything that has a chance of existing will therefore be inevitable, inevitable. And then we have to prepare our valiant astronauts for it before we send them out into space. Yeah, for it.

And then we search for it. Maybe we can come up with this, you know, maybe a little let off a wave form or a stink or something like that, we can find. When we found one, we'd take it off on the list. We'd take it off and then maybe we'd go get it and we'd turn it inside out and see what's... Where it is a hat or something. Yeah.

You know, what you do with animals. Yeah, we've discovered that this creature it'd make a great hat. Yeah, we're in a lot of trouble. And if we can go and find it, then we will no longer have to make hats. And that'll free up people in the economy to do other stuff. We're still working very hard so that everybody can do nothing.

That is like that's my attitude to a lot of things. I'll go to a lot of effort thinking that something that I'm doing will make my life easier in the future. And I think that discovering a planet where the animals are hats, falls in that category. Absolutely. I don't think you're absolutely right. Fundamental needs for life, you've got the education, it's an education system of the seven needs and we're simplifying the education system so that really all we need to teach people is their seven needs. You know, it's been able to move. Yeah. Or, you know, in some regard, at least some internal movement. Yeah. And we just do it by numbering them. Numbering them. And we call them the first D, the two's T, the third D, the fourth

D, the five's D, the fifth D, fifth D, sorry, fifth D, sixth fifth, fifth, fifth, sixth, sixth, sixth, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh,

and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, seventh, and seventh, and and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, seventh, and seventh, and and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, and seventh, seventh You're right, and that's the first people up to do more about things. I'm doing it.

They know my can hats, they know learning anything. Yeah, but as long as they know that, they can live. Exactly. And then where we go on from that is then we send the kids out into the world, and we try to get them to teach that to things that aren't alive and see if they can make them living. But also, that's interesting because that one that we just came up with means that we also do the minimum shaping of the kids' minds, right? That's right. We teach them

as little as possible so that we're not interfering with their mental organ in any way. Yeah, that's right. We're gonna leave that organ alone. That's your business. You do with it what you want. It's a very libertarian kind of idea. Yeah. I think David Linehill would love it. Oh, if she'd get them on the podcast For anybody who doesn't know who that is he's a politician in Australia who is a libertarian Shaping a kid's hands. This is the idea is that you know rather than just if we are going to shape kids minds And we obviously were not in the previous sketch, but in this sketch Why stop at just shaping their minds? Why not shape their hands,

or maybe shape their back fat so that it looks like wings or something like that, or why not even shape their words for them? Why not actually move their mouth for them and their tongue and things like that? Really, we're just teaching them in order for them to be able to say and do the things that we think they should say and do. Exactly. Why not just put them in a robotic exoskeleton with a speaker in front of their mouth? Yeah. And then we can just sort of use them as a robotic puppet. Yeah.

Well, if we can move their tongue and mouth, tongue and lips, you know, like that, then, you know, in a world where we, rather than going the way where we're trying to get everybody to do nothing, what about if we want to really employ people? Go the other way, you know, maybe this is the alternate universe to this. It's a bizarre old place where they go, oh no, you can't let people not do it and do nothing. You got to get them doing something. We got to get them shaping the kids, everything, moving their tongues and stuff. What about, or in the future, all the jobs are going to be performed by robots. Yeah.

But why can't there be humans trapped inside those robots? See, that's good. I actually don't can't picture us allowing there to just be robots and us not being somehow integrated with them. Yeah. Yeah. We integrate. Like, you know, like, we kind of control a little bit.

A couple of things that we, you know, there's always going to be a switch on them. I think the moment when there is no control, like there's no off switch or anything like that, that is when they're truly free. A robot won't be free until there's not a button on them where we can stop them or say, you know, it's overrides, overrides, or you know, make it, you know, read out an ad right now.

And by the way, when we come up with this override, right, it's going gonna be a separate system totally from their own control system. So there's gonna be none of this shit where they like, all they found a way to override it. We'll just make it so there's no way to override it. There's no way. It's just gonna be like a switch that cuts a wire.

Right. They'll probably be able to use their robotic strength to hold us down and stuff us from clicking it or whatever. Sure. Yeah, but that's not really an overriding, the override. No, that's just killing all of you. That's just, that's just, that's just, that switch will still be there. That's switch will be there.

And another robot, maybe a robot that's learned good or at least learned some respect. Well, flick it for us. Yeah, hopefully. And then finally, we have splitting a rat through a prism into its separate parts. Rat gunning. So that you can, let's say, concentrate certain parts and make a laser and then shoot it to a person who's lost

in a forest and make the more rat resourceful. Or, you know, you could either government can use it. Let's say in Japan, they could use it in Japan. I love that you said yes before you knew what it was. So that, you know, I've always said yes for the rest of my advice is saying, oh no. In Japan, you could shoot lasers into people's houses and get them to breed because they're not making enough young people. Wow.

They could give them that rat breeding urge. Yeah. You know, probably maybe they could even get them to breed in rat terms, like not on rat terms. But like exponentially or something, you make? Like, like, like you make, you make six and like, I know, or whatever they do. And wow.

They all line up into the universe. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, you line up, oh, do they line up more like eggs? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Oh, that's how you do it. It's more like a production line.

Yeah. You don't just have one on the go. I think that's how we create sperm. I think we go. I feel like people from Japan would love this. It's actually, yeah. Oh my God, I used to know terminology of Japanese manufacturing. Well, the Toyota thing has the just in time philosophy

and there's a special word for that. It was like a Kenji or Kudo or something like that. It was like, oh my God, I used to know this from my engineering days. Right in. Right in. If you're a manufacturing process as engineer. If you're in the field of Japanese manufacturing processes. Or just an a field. And any field. Right in. And

and and believe is. Thank you so much for listening to The Think Tank. I had a really good time. I had a really good time, thank you very much Andy for coming. You know, I'm much appreciated. It was nice. It was good to be here. It's nice not having to do this alone. No, no, it was nice to get to spend some time together for once.

Yeah, for once we're currently. After working together all day and kicking up on the weekend. So surely. It's great to just get the talk. At least, you know, having dinner together and then at least we're in our home. Oh my God, trades together. At least we're in our hot room and it's unbearable. That's right. At least it's unbearable. Yeah. This would be this would be really hard if it wasn't unbearable. Yeah, and you know as we said Find us on Twitter at twit and tank or at Alistair TV and I'm at stupid old Andy

You we did a live podcast for the Sands pants radio guys for their for their shows Jackson Bailey Spooks America Yeah. Jackson Bailey Spooks America. Yeah, Jackson Bailey Spooks. It's one of their hidden shows on the website. You got a pay. You can go sign up on pay for it.

It's worth it. Yeah, sign up. And then sign up to us and pay for us if you want. Well done. I don't know. Just depend, you don't have to absolutely. But, you know, she wants it. It's fine.

Or tell a friend. That'd be great. Yeah, tell a friend. If you like a friend. If you like a friend. That's right. Tell, when I say tell, I mean, tell a friend. Yeah, or like tell a huge group of people.

Right. Like what's, in what ways are you capable of broadcasting? Are you the owner of a TV channel? This is like AMway. I think when they get you into the AMway, you know, pyramid scheme. Sure. They first ask you like, what are your networks?

Right? And then they say, okay, see that's a network. That those are all potential customers and they get you to go to the people in that network and try and sell to them. And this show is no different. It's no different. Yeah, are you part of the Scouts?

Right. Yeah. Go to those people. Go to a jamboree. Yes. Spruce, spruce, spruce, spruce broke. Spruce, two and a thing tank. Anyway, you don't have to do any of that.

But if you want to, you can. And, yeah, you can review us on iTunes if you like. And review us on, you know, right about us in your diary. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just trying to be funny, but then it was just sounded like I was like really needy. I was thinking that we are. Are we? Yeah, we're really needy. That's why we do this.

Oh, okay. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional, you have to do it. We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah. Yeah.

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