Two In The Think Tank - 121 - "LAZY LIGHT"

Episode Date: March 6, 2018

Andy and Al in Sci Fi Sketch Experience opens at the Melbourne Comedy Festival from 28 March - get tickets HEREThanks to Harry's for supporting this episode! Visit harrys.com/thinktank for $13 worth of FREE SHAVING STUFF for NOTHING BUT THE SHIPPING COSTSlowlight, The Show About Objects, Torture Lobby, Small Town Big Thing, ABC OFF, Flaw Booth, Robotic Eye for the Mortal Guy, Da Vincible Ink, Fall Power, 99 Year Old No Family PodcastAnd you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereUrgent, heartstopping thanks to George Matthews for producing  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Alistair, later in the show, we're going to do an ad for Harry's raises. Harry's raises? Harry's raises. Well, I haven't used one in the last few days and I feel awful.

Look, I don't want to say that those things are connected. Because there is so much else that's wrong with you that I don't even know where to start. But I'd say that if you were to shave a Harry's razor, you'd not only take the stubble off your face You'd shave a layer of sadness off your soul and that's one of their guarantees That's actually part of the Harry's guarantee That and the fact that if you go to harries.com For slash think tank you'll get $15 worth of value shaving value

$13 worth of shaving value It feels like $15. I know that's right. That's why he said 15 because value, shaving value. 13 dollars worth of shaving value. It feels like $15 worth. I know, that's right. That's why he said 15 because you're using it. You go, this is more than $13 worth of shaving material. Yes. You get all of that.

You get that for free and all you got to do is cover those costs of shipping. And even though it's $13 worth, you feel like you're getting $15 worth. And you really feel like you've got one over on the man. Yeah, and it feels like you're, it's actually so good that it actually feels like it's just the cost of like just passing, you know, having it handed to you. Exactly. That's all, and you know, I don't know how close you live to the Harry's factory and dispatch station. That might be all it is. Yeah.

There you go. You know, and what does that cost you? A smile? You're going to get $13. $13. That feels like $15 worth of raising experience. For the cost of shipping. That feels like the cost of a smile. And what does that cost you? Nothing. Shipping. Shipping. Shipping. Anyway, that's the best two-minute fifteen-second intro. Let's come it up later in the show. BANG! Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Why is it so fundamental? I'm gonna say laziness. Is it? I suppose. I mean, you know, why can't we work hard? I mean, I know that's what's holding me back

from going faster than the speed of life. Yeah, that's true. I can't speak for neutrinos. I don't pretend to know what their life in their situation is like, but I think before we go judging, you know. Yeah. It's gonna be, it's just,

it just makes sense to look at our own lives and say, well, why don't I go faster than the speed of light, okay? I don't have the fire and the belly that it requires. The fire and the belly that it requires. For a quiet fire. But if you had to go faster than the speed of light. If I had to. Yeah, if you absolutely had to.

Okay. Like, I'm in a rush or something. Um, yeah. Yeah. Right. Like, okay,'m in a rush or something. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay, let's say there was like a treadmill that was attached to gears that all you had to do was to keep running and that would increase your acceleration. Yeah.

Or at least increase your speed, right? It's because you're in a space, you're in a space, treadmill, spaceship, space ship. So you're kind of like space lens zones. Yeah, right. But every little bit of effort that you put in increases your speed. Increases your speed. And so at some point, if you're on a treadmill,

you're probably standing still, aren't you? You are, but your ship is moving. OK, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like all the movement is being put into the ship rather than because running doesn't work in space because there's no other matter. It's not ground. So this one of the features. Yeah, so this, I don't know, it's magnets or something like that are being

used. Gotcha. To push you forward or propel you or shoot single atoms out that kind of like, you know, whatever to shoot the opposite way or um, lizes could be with lizes. Or it could be, it could be going along some kind of like, you know, whatever it is. The issue of the opposite way or Lises could be with lises. Or it could be, it could be going along some kind of strip of material that's going between you and the edge of the universe. Right. Anchored, somebody anchored a strip of material

to the end of the universe. So it's going really fast. Yeah. And then they stripped it to the other end as well. So then it's just kind of, it's being, you know, it's just like a, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like a cable car or something. Like a cable car, but it's treadmill powered.

Yes. And he can go as fast as you want. There's only one ship along it. He can go as fast as you want, as long as you run for long enough. The reason you can't go fast in a speed of light in that situation is people never stick to their running plans. Like everybody says, they're gonna run constantly until they go as fast as the speed of light.

But, reality is you'll run one day, maybe two days in the first week, right? And then maybe one time, four weeks after that. And then... Then there'll be that you kind of get to the close to the date when you're supposed to be going the speed of light. Yeah, yeah. And then you start running, you tell yourself, I'm going to run first thing in the morning, you can go for a run then, you know, maybe run again in the afternoon.

And then the last thing is you're actually really stressed. Yeah. And actually it's quite actually good for your stress to be doing that running. You know, like now you're like, why wasn't I running this whole time? Yeah, you tell yourself that kind of thing. Is that a sketch? Tell us there. I think the reason why things can't go

fast in the speed of light. Like a quite like scientific theories to be argued from the limitations that are not built into the, you know, the contents of the universe, but just like, you know, it's hard. It's hard to get part of time. It's kind of like a, you know, it's like if you give modern problems to ancient Greeks and they can only use, it's like, yeah, so you, yeah, you know that, because when we've used that methodology of a sketch before, it's just a couple of guys in Toga's with some sticks and some dirt that they can scratch things into and they can ponder. But what if they were talking about things,

problems that are kind of, we're discovered later on in that. Yeah, absolutely. So those could be problems like very much like this, fast in the speed of light problem, I think that's great. And like, you know, how would they explain that given their logic of the time, no, bring it back to either human nature, or probably the gods, the gods, offending the time. They would bring it back to either human nature or probably the gods. The gods.

Offending the gods. Yeah. But then we could also give them questions that are like entirely like, well maybe this wouldn't work, but I'm thinking like we're really modern social dilemmas as well, like things to do with, you know, etiquette on social media or something like that. Yeah. But then, yeah, maybe there's too much context. Another way it could be done is what if it is just science as written by a right a runner, a guy who's just in distance, you know, Jim, is that guy appears in Bill Hicks's bits. Jim, the guy who died, 35, and then Jim uses him as like an

example of somebody, and Bill uses him as an example of somebody who was really healthy all their life, but they still died young. And then all these other people took drugs and had a really good time and they, you know, I don't know somehow their life was more worthwhile because they took drugs and had a really good time. Because they knew Bill, they were mates with Bill. Yeah, you'll Brenner. Hixie. Hixie. You'll Brenner? Yeah, you'll, he Yeah, you'll Brenner. Hixie.

You'll Brenner? Yeah, he talks about you'll Brenner. Taking a lot of drugs? Yeah, people snorting cocaine off his ball head. It's pretty funny. Yeah. It's pretty shawty head he had. Did he?

I don't remember. Is he the guy in the king and I? He's in the king and I, where he played I guess a tie person and and also a siamese and he was also in Westworld where he played a robot even though he wasn't a real robot. Is there something that could be done with the idea of whitewas washing in films like where you cast all you know you get a property like ghost in the shell right and then you cast white people and even though it's from a different culture yeah what is like a version of that that we could do that we could do as a joke Alistair so what is

a sketch basically give me a sketch idea is what I'm saying. Take it to the extreme where you have a movie that features, and I don't know, this could be saying the wrong thing, but like that features inanimate objects and you cast them as white people or something like that. You know, we thought that's an opportunity to get another. What about the wind and the willows? The wind and the willows, okay, so. They're all rats and moles. And a toad.

And a toad. And they're being cast as white people. Sure, yeah, yeah. I mean, is that funny in some way? Was that saying? I know, I think, I think, I always like, I think about doing things like that, but then I go, what am I, yeah, what am I joking about? That people are getting offended at it, so then that's kind of where you're laughing at, right? The people are getting offended at it, so therefore you're kind of the, that's kind of where you're laughing at, right? The people are getting offended at it.

So therefore you're kind of the... Are you mocking the getting offended because the getting offended is justified. Is that what we're saying? Yeah, yeah. And so you're saying, oh, see in this case, it's not justified. But then in the cases where people are maybe complaining

about it and then maybe it is justified, I don't know. Then you're going, well, ha ha ha. Anyway, with our laughing, we're saying that it's not justified, I don't know. Then you're going, well, ha ha ha. Anyway, with our laughing, we're saying that it's not justified, I think. What about, even though our example is much more extreme? Yes. But I feel like it says like we're saying things that are less extreme or.

What about if instead of casting, because the way that could be better, is if instead of casting because the way they could be better is if instead of casting white people as the being the the direct we're casting casting something else. So it objects exactly or animals. So it's like a remake of Seinfeld. Yeah. It's probably the whitest show you could think of. Yeah. But then everybody is either like a rake or a spade. Yeah, or like a sort of There all got the implements. Yeah, I think that's funny man. Kramer would definitely be a rake I you sure a grass rake. I mean he's already

He's already 85% rake. This is close as you can get I think to being a rake while still being subject to the you know United Nations Declaration of Human Rights. Yeah. I hope. Look, I would say that you could probably legally, even under the United Nations, maybe even in front of the United Nations, you could probably torture Kramer. Wow. And they wouldn't even bat an eyelid, even if their eyes were getting really sore from getting dry,

they wouldn't bat their eyelids because they would just be watching so attently unbothered. They're so unbothered that it's making other parts of them that are bothered. Less bothered. That's incredible. So it becomes soothing to them all watching creamer be tortured Yeah, I think I think this is this is this is

Hear me out on this one Alice there all right, so you know that's saying like you can't make a nominate without breaking in So you heard of this one Alice. Yeah, And people use that all the time to justify, well why bad things have to be done in order to create something good. So what if we found out that involved in the drug for some reason, the process of drafting the human rights declarations requires a lot of suffering. I don't know what it is, whether or not they have to be. The only way that they can get the declaration draft in the right way requires child slavery, or I just like the idea that fundamentally this thing

that should be so high in money is somehow compromise. Sure. I mean, obviously there had to be a lot of suffering in order for people to be motivated enough. Well, that's true. And if first to find things to rule out as well, to make illegal, we wouldn't have known that that was even an option.

And I guess there could have been a point maybe like thousands of years ago where somebody floated the idea of a human rights bill, anti-torture bill of some sort. And at that time, people feel like, I don't know if tortures really had enough of an effect on the world. Yeah, right. Like, obviously, you know, I've seen some, but what's that like, 10 people that's affecting? And we're going to draft a whole bill. So, so what you're saying is that from that point, we then had to torture a lot more people in order to justify having a human rights. Maybe the guy who was putting it forward needed to do some kind of master torture in order to, I mean, where do dictators come from?

Indeed. Yeah, what are they motivated by? Well, they want to make the world a better place, I presume. I suppose they think in their capable hands yeah the world will be a better place and so if they torture a lot of people then there will become some kind of unifying body that brings the world together to stop torture. Yeah somebody's got to do something. I'm going to torture my way into a world piece. world peace. Is it like it's all pretty horrible but if there's something in that like the idea that what but that in the early days of torture people weren't really sure if it was good or bad like you're like well we don't we don't have

enough information. Yeah which is one of the reasons often you're torturing someone. That's true. But we've taught you a few people and it hasn't been good for them. But we need to look at the long term effects of this kind of thing. I don't think that we should rush to judgment when all the results are in.

I don't want to go banning this kind of stuff and as to find out that this is a bad idea. Torture lobby. Torture lobby. You know, look at these guys who have spent anything. Right, like smoking. Yeah. The smoking.

He's saying, well, you were going with that elsewhere? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Torture lobby. Yeah, no, I wasn't suggesting you would have your torture chamber right in the entrance of a building. You never do that. You put it in a dungeon. Yeah. In the basement for some reason.

Why does it always have to be in the basement? Why can't it be higher up? I think it's a Feng Shui thing. Is it right? Yeah, I think if you have all your torture done, as people are walking in, it doesn't bring in money or something like that or it doesn't bring in. Sure, it affins some kind of drag and spirit. Or an architect. Yes. Or so the police might see. But is there something in a torture lobby? Trying to get the government to

wait until the results are in and we have some studies for our own. Which I would almost suggest that the torture lobby is just the whole right wing. I mean, I must say, you're not wrong. I mean, look, I think that there's a funniness and we're going to put a half sketch of the where you actually put the torture chamber in a building because I think that's a funny conversation. Well also there's a thing now with architecture where it's good to have a lot of the stuff that we would have hidden previously in buildings. We have exposed, like you'll see the exposed pipe work from the air conditioning and that sort of

thing and you might see certain beams and struts and plumbing and maybe even cabling that would have been concealed light walls or in a basement. Now that functional stuff we're making visible, so what other stuff would we make visible in a building? Well, maybe the torture or in some way the, you know, whatever is the, let's visually appealing part of the building, we're like, the suffering that's inherent

in the enterprise of big business we're actually gonna make explicit. What about the dirt under the foundation? Yeah, what if that was visible? Yeah. Sort of, I mean, like, I mean, concrete slabs seem to be sort of such a norm across the board. And I feel it's almost like it's putting us at risk by having one idea that follows all

kind of like a mono culture with potatoes or say, let's say you live in an island nation somehow you accidentally create a mono culture, you only use one type of potato, right? If a disease comes through that attacks and wipes out that potato, you might wind up with some kind of potato famine. Say. Say, right?

Well, I think maybe I fear that by all having concrete slabs on all buildings, pretty much as standard now, we're, you know, what if some kind of concrete problem slab problem comes along? We're going to wish that at least somebody had done some kind of perspex see through the ground. And that way you'd be able to see probably whatever's going to be attacking these concrete slabs will probably be attacking them from below. Yeah. You know, and in this case, you would have wished that you had had perspex.

So that you could see them coming. See them coming. Whatever they are. Well, there's nothing in that idea. No, I had to... Well, what about something else that isn't visible in buildings? Is the... Is like the construction workers are their families, right?

So, you know, they support the construction workers that build the buildings. But you don't see them, they're concealed sort of at their homes in another location. But what if you designed a building such that that element was visible? Sort of like a reverse big brother house. Yes. Where if you go into the big house brother. Big house brother or yeah, little outside sister. No, it's like you go into this building and you can see everybody who's outside of it. So there's just a like a glass house, but I mean like all the people who were involved in the building there's just screens that kind of follow them a little bit like big brother does.

Yeah, yeah, but you know so that you can actually make visible the people who worked on the building and supported the building and the support of the people who support the people who support the building. Right because what is it that makes a company? It's not concrete, it's not glass. Imagine this is my big speech at the end of some movie. Yeah. It's not concrete, it's not glass, I'd have a better voice, I'd be played by someone. It's not concrete, it's not glass, it's not steel, what is it, it's people. It screens with people of them. It's families, it's mums and dads, it's brothers and sisters, and that's why I have sent cameras out to watch your

families every hour of their waking lives and sleeping lives and deaths and cast them on projections all across the building so that we don't forget why we're here and what makes us to watch your families. Watch your families. They're uncle. This is so, this is so confused. No. Oh.

Is it? I should, I should find you a better team member to do this podcast with. What do you mean? No, we were doing great, Elle. That was all really good stuff. Yeah, you think that's good? I think that was good.

I don't know if, I don't know if you know what good is. While I was driving here, I thought about the idea of doing a podcast by myself where I take all the ideas that we wouldn't ever use and then I make sketches by myself with them by using all the worst ideas. So that would be like one in the trash bin. Yeah, and you're filtering throughout our garbage waste. Yeah. Like those people living in the slums in India, who's lives, I don't even understand how, you know, the ones who are sorting through garbage and getting out plastic bags and What what are they doing with how can you subsist on that what are they doing with the plastic bags that like Creates any value for them or or anybody like I realize that

body. Like I realize that in this society there's always people who are but you've always got to have somebody at the bottom. But that one it just sounds like somebody was just spitballing what could be the worst thing you could do in society. And then think about the fact that even those people the thing that they're doing has to keep them alive somehow. Like they just made it up, like, all they're eating, all they're sorting through garbage and they're getting out dirty plastic bags. But that's not a thing, is it? What could that possibly, where does that lead?

We haven't even worked out what to do with old plastic bags in the first world country. Yeah, but I'm assuming that it must have some value. The fact that you don't know what it is. I mean, doesn't necessarily mean that they're not getting it like that they're not getting anything out of it. What are they? What? What could it possibly be? I assume that that somebody's giving them money in and and I think the reason why they're in such poverty is because it's not a lot of money.

I get that. I get that. But I just can't imagine the situation in which somebody showing up to your house with a whole lot of dirty plastic bags would be anything other than a burden to you. And would you pay them the go away? Possibly.

Yeah, yeah. You can go there, some value. Yeah, it's just, it's just, it's so horrible. I don't, don't get me wrong. I think it's bad. But in almost comically bad. Almost comically bad. I think that is a type of thing where people laugh

at awful, awful jokes. Yeah. Right, jokes that are really horrible. And sometimes I don't think the jokes are even punching down because the jokes are actually pointing out something that's so bad that it makes you laugh at how awful life is. Yeah it's it's almost like somebody allows like paints a picture in your mind of something that is so horrific that you can't even imagine. Like, there's that one that Jimmy Carr had said on the green

room with Paul Provenza, where somebody had asked him what is most offensive joke was. And he said, in mosquito nets in Africa, if we bought mosquito nets for Africa, we could stop millions of mosquitoes dying of AIDS needlessly every year. It's something really horrible, but what you're picturing is the idea in which somebody could value the lives of mosquitoes above people. But also, it reminds you how many people in Africa

do suffer from HIV, I guess. Which I guess if you can remind people of, if it's defensible, I think if it reminds people of that, without dehumanizing or generalizing to the entirety of the population. If you're joking, if you're laughing at the horror of it, and not at the suffering of others or at the pointing out or the confirmation in your mind that other people have a worse life than you and therefore are somehow worse than you. I don't know, I think I thought. I think it's a simple, it's just a simple misdirect.

Oh, sorry, yeah, no it's like. Yeah, I mean, like obviously it's horror. Like the horror adds to the tension, but all it is is that if you're talking about mosquitoes, this mosquito nets, then you're obviously thinking about the point. The people in the mosquito net. The people will be helped from it,

but then it's just in the change there with the mosquito too, saying it's about the mosquitoes. Because the jokes get so, but they get all their power. The joke gets all its power from somebody's, from suffering. Yeah. And that is like, then you've got to think about, it's like any source of power,

Alistair, you've got to think about where it comes from. That's right. Well, I guess so. So, like, whether it's the sun, and why can't we get more jokes where their power comes from the sun? That's all I'm saying. Could we, you're laughing at the endless renewability

of solar power basking this earth? You know, why do we have to be laughing at suffering? When we could be laughing at something better. That's true. That would be more sustainable because there's a lot more. Or why can't we be laughing at sort of tidal motion, which can be used to harness to generate electricity? I guess it's very relentless,'t it, title motion? Title motion. Almost, almost comically so. This is my theory. Right. That maybe life, civilized, high intelligent life arose on Earth because of the moon, right?

Because we have that big moon, which means we have big tides, right? Which means that we have more chances for things to come to live in the intertidal zone between the low tide and the high tide mark, which is the step that you need to have to live on the land. Which is, what, you know, leads to development of hands and stuff like that. Hands flippers? No, not flippers.

No, hands flippers. Oh, hand flippers, sure. Yeah. Which I guess would be one of the first things, probably. Yeah. Hand flippers. Yeah. Yeah.

And. And then that's, it's, so it's the moon. Yeah. And the earth's bizarrely large, but because we have a really large moon for the size of the earth. Well, that's good. That's why we have intelligent life. And maybe that's why only earth has intelligent life. Because we got such a big moon.

Oh, I reckon pop it this is there's other ones. You reckon there's someone else who's got a big moon? Yeah. But I mean, it doesn't like, I mean, I think there would still be, as long as there was like wind and things like that, there would still be sort of creatures that would... Yeah. That it sort of fly off the water and make it onto land a little bit...

Flop out there. ...flop out, you know, maybe like splashing would occur, you know, some splashing onto rocks. Oh, splashing, they could be splashing, and then there could be rock pools and stuff. Rock pools? Is it cool and dry? Yeah. Probably still rivers and ponds and... Ponds, maybe.

Mud. Yeah, I reckon, as long as there's... Like, I think if there's planets out there that are similar to ours, but there's no splashing allowed. Yeah. Then I think maybe they won't have intelligent life. Right. Yeah.

So you think it's splashing that led to intelligent life? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Right. Oh, there's also no waterfalls. Mine's the moon. Well, what are, what is a waterfall except for splashing? It's pure splash.

So you can go in these places, the water could go up them hills and down, but no, not such an incline. It could go up the hills. I reckon if you're pushing from far back enough. You know, if it gets a run up. Is there any rivers that get a run up? It's a really good question. I don't know. There must be some. There must be one, like at least a couple of rivers that go up hill for a bit.

Just... This is really blowing my mind, trying to picture this, because I've seen water flowing up and over at rock. Yeah. That's a small example of what I'm trying to say. What are you trying to say? And could we engineer a version of this that to get tourists in? Like a water that flows up. This is exactly the kind of thing a small town needs to just really kick it into gear. I think just in general terms, the things that small towns do to get tourists in is really good sketched territory.

I think it's a TV series. It could be like we could be heroes, but it's all these small towns that have each episode is there to try attempting to do a small thing to get tourists. Definitely. Oh, look at that. Tidy, tidy towns. But now you're just naming the name of a podcast. There's a podcast called Tidy Towns. I don't know what it is though. I don't know what it's about either.

I'm sure it's very good. Yeah, me too. I bet you it's about towns. Probably. But I don't know what it's about either. I'm sure it's very good. Yeah, me too. I bet you it's about towns. Probably. But I don't know if it's fictional and I don't know if it's about the towns doing things to. Yeah, I think that's a great, great concept, some recurring thing.

And I mean, the characters, Alistair, you gotta think of the characters. They're gonna be stuff. They're gonna be so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so-�- They're gonna be so-�- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be so- They're gonna be this thing, but sometimes it'll be just some weirdo doing something. Yeah. First of all, to bring money to himself. I like the idea of it being a real weirdo, because a real weirdo could be doing things for some bizarre personal reason. Yeah. You know, making, let's just say, a huge pile of dirty washing, or something like that, dirty clothes, and then that becomes the thing

that the town latches on to. The biggest pile of dirty clothes. Yeah, something like that. Well, Australia does love big things. Yeah. Yeah, and I guess what about that? And people come and like maybe tourists could come and they could throw their dirty clothes in. Yeah, there'd be a thing. Yeah. What about this? A big The biggest pile of dirty undies. Australia's biggest waste of potential, right? And it's a lie. He could have done so much. And he's still.

He's still just stayed in his hometown and, you know. Do you think he could have been a bigger waste of potential? That's even, that's an other kind of potential. He's even wasted. Every kind. Because he still does a little bit. Yeah, and he just sits there and people come by, people drive out of their way to come and check him out. And maybe there's a gift shop. Maybe they try to encourage him to do more. Yeah. Come in and he's actually good luck if you sort of if you offer him an opportunity. If you encourage's actually good luck if you sort of if you if you offer him an opportunity if you encourage him yeah if you can offer him an opportunity to encourage him and he says no to it

if you take a copy of his CV yeah but I don't know if you'd even have a CV I still working on it he was going to do it this weekend or he's got one but it's out of date. Yeah great. It's very out of date. I've not done heaps since then but I don't it's not the same phone number on there. Yeah I lost my phone. They've put an O3 on the front of the numbers since then. I did that in Tasmania. We got a 6-2 on the front of all. Do you think four episodes or six episodes? I think it's 12's 12 they're short they're like you know 15 minute I view I know but we could have half hours yeah that's true you know I think we could we could we could bring in a lot of the the comedy community could play a lot of the characters this is give everybody work Alistair then we can sell this format to

America they've even got more small towns there we're joking. Alistair. Then we can sell this format to America. They've even got more small towns there. We're joking, yeah, Alistair. We're mucking around and just taking a piss and saying, what a such a stupid idea no one would ever do this, but you're actually on to something. I'm not joking. No, we're talking about it. Imagine how dumb it would be to do this.

No, no, no. You have to be a fuckhead. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think you realize. This is a genuinely good idea. You have to be a fuckhead. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, as soon as you say, we could get in the comedy community. I'm like, yes, this is a format that you can make and sell and plug people into. Plug them. Just plug them in.

What is it? It's mockumentary style. The cheapest of all the styles. Yeah, the, the, but I think maybe also the style that people, for some reason, just feel the most comfortable it with A lot of the time what about what about this isn't an idea It's a TV channel. Yeah, but it's the off channel So I BC off. Yeah, okay, so it's wait. Did you mention this the other day?

I think I might have mentioned this you wrote it into a thing We're not a written it into where you play just a black screen. This is black screen. So that people don't have to turn off their TV. They don't have to turn off their TV, and the station can still get the ratings. That's pretty good. And it's cheap to make. So cheap.

You just have to film a black screen or leave the lens cap on. Yeah, leave the lens cap on or switch the lights off in the room I guess if this you know there's not gonna be a But then you have to spend a lot of money probably sort of Ensuring that there is no light pollution in there. That's true. So that might be expensive I'm sure we can think of something. I mean the lens cap idea is pretty good as both I supposed to give it a blanket even over over the lens cap. Sure, just for redundancy, just to be on the safe side. Yeah, I've been not like an expensive blanket, just if we're trying to cut costs.

Yeah, like a second hand blanket or maybe a coat from the Lost In Fan at the front office. I'm just saying that because if we're pitching this to a network as an opportunity to get ratings, but save money, I think we need to have this solidified. Yeah, because it goes like, if you say lens cap, you go, well, what are you doing as a backup? I think I see some lot. I think I'm thinking no, Alan series, they're probably going to want some names attached to this, you know, some big names, someone that they can sell, right? So what do you think like a Sam Simmons

or something like that? Yeah, maybe, or maybe we can get somebody who's visiting John Travolta off a flight contest. That's a Travolta, great. So he could, he flies. Flies Quantas, those jackets, those, Quantas jackets, black. Really, sure.

John Travolta can stand in front of the camera. Yeah, that's good. He's quite wide. It'll be John Travolta's back. Yeah. It'll be John Travolta's back. Yeah And John Travolta's back That's what we call this John Travolta's back Everybody like that's like

From From 5 p.m. to 8 a.m. Every day. Every day. It's just his back. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's, that's gotta be something, isn't it? Like... ABC off?

Yeah. What, I'm wondering, what's the jumping off point? How do we get into this? Like... What's the jumping off point? How do we get into this? Like, somebody in a network is struggling with the budgets. Well, they don't have enough money for programming or whatever. Sounds a lot like the same thing. Or it sounds like a lot like the real scenario of what's happening right now. Yeah, yeah. We don't have money for programming. We can still run the station.

We just won't be able to put anything on. But the station will still run. The barn seats, everything else that we have been made. Everyone's supposed to be employed. We have a job. Just won't be able to put anything on. But that's where this show comes in. Do you think getting John Travolta on will make this show more expensive? That's my concern. But if it was a branding opportunity with Quantus. That's true. Yeah.

And so they Quantus just promote the show. And then we call it John Travolta's back to promote Quantus. So I guess there's a lot of like ads on some of the associate channels that are promoting John Travolta's back on the other channel on ABC off. And you can leave it on so that your TV can be off. Yeah, it's not off until it's on. Yeah. ABC off. Yeah. It's not off to leave this TV on.

If it was offer than off as well. Like if somehow when you tune to this channel, it's like an experience that you don't, that's more off than having your TV actually off. Yeah. It's heightened, because everything's heightened on television. I'm just trying to picture how we could make it more off. Yeah. It's heightened because everything's heightened on television. I'm just trying to picture how we could make it more off. Yeah. Well, I guess first of all, you devoid that sound of turning your TV off. What if you hate that? Yeah. That like sometimes it could be like a... It's quite good. That one, I don't know about that.

What about this? Oh! Oh, that's my god. That's my god. This is its instant night. What about... ...of being the night of the electronics? is it's instant night. What about off being the night of the electronics? That's interesting, isn't it?

Before lights existed. Well, you know, we put we put we put we put TVs just into sleep mode. Yeah, that's true. But but you when they're sleeping it's not a very realistic sleep is it? Hmm, it's not a very, very asleep sleep. Well, it seems like a facility is still running through you. But also it seems very deep sleep very complete. You know, it doesn't take them a while to get to sleep. They don't wake up again sometimes when they hear a noise. Hmm, that's true. They don't wander about the house. So are we getting their shins? Are we gonna, are we gonna promise people that our ABC off will sort of be more more realistic sleep for your TV? Yeah. Yeah, so it'll, it'll turn on in the middle of the night instead of going to the bathroom and have like the sound of urine falling. Yeah, I Look, I hate this idea

Then should it be called ABC sleep ABC sleep. I wasn't the name isn't You know The name isn't much there. Is it? What ABC off really it pops I know but ABC sleep seems more restful it does Get more realistic sleep with ABC sleep on ABC sleep this week You could also just be John Travolta's back and then so John Cholta he's got his back

Yeah, the camera yeah, sort of roughly 11 hours Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus,

and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Yeah. Yeah. And but then about six hours in, you realize that he was standing in front of a toilet the whole time and he just starts to pay It doesn't change what you see, but it changes what you hear. Yeah

Which is one of the other things that TV can do and Could you maybe hear John Travolta's breathing throughout the whole thing? Very accurate. He's not sleeping. Just imagine knowing John Travolta. Imagine being friends. Good friends with John Travolta. Hmm. Imagine being friends? Friends? Good friends with John Travolta. Yeah. Do you think he drinks?

Do you think you'd have a drink with him? Yeah. Because as an adult, it's harder and harder to picture why you would go and hang out with somebody. Yeah. I mean, if you don't have a podcast to do, what are you doing? Why you, why you with each other? Yeah. And if you don't have kids podcast to do, what are you doing? Why are you with each other? Yeah. And if you don't have kids to hang out with each other,

like, I just, there's less and less hanging out. And within 10 years, within the 10 years between me being 34 and me being 24, I've almost had hanging out completely extracted from my life other than accidental hanging out in the case of me waiting for something else to happen. Yeah, right. When something else has been postponed or you've got there early on. And so if this rate of hanging out loss continues, I think that even hanging out with people

when lost waiting for other things to happen is probably gonna be gone. Well, that's pretty much what phones are there to get rid of, is that. Yeah. With this, you know, digital, you're always connected. You could be doing something else at that time. Yeah. Instead of accidentally spending time with your friends.

So then what the hell as an adult hanging out with John Travolta at the age of what, 50, 60, 70? Is he 70? Yeah. Would he be 70? Yeah, 60, 70? Is he 70? Yeah. Would he be 70? Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah, 65, man. 65, I reckon he's 65.

He's a solid 65. He's a, he's a, not a single gray hair on his head 65. You know those guys. I think he could lighten that color a little bit. I think he could afford to. Yeah. There needs to be, sorry to change the subject slightly again, but there's needs. Well, you don't think there was anything in that.

You need to be a service that tells people that. You know, it tells people that like you just need to take a couple of shades out of your hair, because it's not fooling anybody. And they are just surrounded by yes people. Yeah, I think what it probably needs is often these kind of browns and blacks that people put in their hair is that there's such a monocolor in the way that nobody's natural hair lacks the diversity of color. So I think the whole dying process for these people needs to be like strand by strand with different shades. Right. Much like a regular hair would have. Yeah, yeah. But this is not what we're talking about letting these people know... It's time to let go.

To let go of the aging process that hasn't stopped. Absolutely. And like, so what would be that thing in your life? What is the opportunity for somebody to go into a space, a room, some kind of, you know, a safe space, but there's someone in there who will objectively tell you, you know, what people aren't fooled by anymore. I think, first of all, it will have to come from some kind of robot or some kind of like automated scenario. Absolutely, absolutely.

And but what we have to do is think of a place where you can advertise or where things aren't normally advertised. So I think that maybe let's say you could do it in party rooms, like rooms where there's a party. Yes. And you just have a bunch of mini projectors at the top and they track people and they see what is happening using computer vision, you know. And then they find a flaw, say you've dyed your hair black and you're 65 years old and

it's all a single color and everybody can tell. And so because you're in a party, you're probably avoiding people's gaze a lot of the time looking down at your shoes. This thing projects a little message onto the top of your shoes. Oh, it's the top of your shoes. It tells you, you know, maybe let yourself go gray, maybe dye your hair strand by strand

so there's some variety in the color. What about, and that's a good idea, project it onto the shoes, it's gray, right? Some honesty. Honesty. And it can be like salt, we could call it like soul searching, even though that's the good idea. Project it onto the shoes is great. Right, some honesty. An honesty. It can be like salt, we could call it like salt searching, even though that's the bottom of your shoes. But, you know, still, people look at the bottom of their shoes

sometimes as well. To see if they stepped in gum. Yes, that thing, it could also be a little booth, right? That's kind of like a photo booth, right? In a mall, but it's like, it's an honesty booth. Yeah. So you go in there and there's like, you just, and you come back out

and a little thing prints out of the side with a little list of just facts about you. Sort of like a queer eye booth. Really good. Yeah. You know, it's just that I mean when is science and engineering going to invent a booth that can do the job of queer eye for the straight guy. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think, you know, the

cost at the moment for a queer eye, you know, you've got, you need a TV crew. You need a bunch of guys who are skilled in different fields. Yes. Although I'm not sure about that cooking guy. I don't think he really knows what he's doing. He don't think he does enough. I know. He taught that I watched my first one last night who taught, you know, taught the guy how to make guac.

Yeah. And that I was not convinced by the way he was making a guac. No, no, no. It's just like in a... In a water and pestle, and with like what was he adding? He put some yogurt into it, but like what was the flavor? What was it, anyway? It was nothing. He had lime in there.

It was the flavor. No, I'm not happy. It's good. I thought it was a terrible guacomolly. Well, you didn't taste it. The guy liked it. The guy who was there. The guy who's the whole point of

his life is him being on the show is that he doesn't know what's good. He liked it. I need to see some. So we've established the whole concept of the show is that that guy's judgment is flawed. And he's the one that you point to to prove the worth of the guac. Well, I'm sorry, Lister. I know, but surely the people who hired the guy who does the cooking thing. I need an objective life for the guac guy. I think that guy turned out alright though. He did. I liked him so much. Yeah.

And if that woman who he was interested in didn't work out with her, Irak and he would have got a lot of offers. Man, he looked so good. He looked, there's actually a guy called Andy Matthews on Twitter. There is. Who is basically what that man turned into. Yeah, whenever I Google myself and it's often,

there's a guy who's got a big beard, glasses, looks very confident. He basically looks like the guy in the first episode of the Netflix revival of Queer Eye got turned into with the lupus on his face. Amazing, yeah, I've just first time I've seen someone actually with lupus. Anyway, I feel like we're getting off the topic. I think some kind of thing that confronts both, something that confronts you with the truth because it's like the opposite of all those apps

that you get on your phone that do the Photoshop on your face and smooth out your wrinkles and that sort of thing. No, this is the opposite of that. This will highlight your flaws and it'll tell you. No one isn't noticing this, stop pretending. So what they maybe what they do is they have to get like a machine learning algorithm. One of these, one of these deep, what are they called? Deep, deep learning. Deep learning.

Deep learning. Deep learning things. And they get a bunch, they get a bunch of jerks who tell it like it is. Yeah. Right. And they study them. They get, they just kind of get people walking in. And then the, you know, the machine learning things, watching them through the computer and through the, through the, you know, cameras. And then there's also one watching these jerks. And then just telling what all the flaws are and things like that. And then it tries to learn what flaws are through that. Just through data and data. We get Google onto it straight away. And then, you know, then, then you just put that into a booth form. You just stand in a booth.

It's a lot of power to give to a robot. I'm worried that this robot that knows is able to spot all our flaws instantly. We'll be able to like bring humanity to its knees in a short space of time. But that's why, maybe we could get, we could get some other people in, maybe, that have a heart and that can tell you a message with a bit of love.

I get to you gently. Break it to you gently and then get put that into the machine learning thing. Doesn't have to all be jerks. I would love if for some reason, and believe me, I don't think that a parody sketch of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Now just called Queer Eye.

I don't think a parody sketch of that is a good idea, but I would love it if for some reason just one of the characters in that show was a robot. It was like four or five guys who are very cultured and well presented and, you know, good at communicating their emotions and then also a robot who would give its point of view on, you know, what the subject of the show was doing wrong with their life. Yeah, or it could be a show just like that, but they're all robots. It's five robots. Giving advice to another robot. Giving advice to a man on how to live his life. Okay, that is funny. Be more okay with darkness.

Nothing changes despite the absence of light. And I think all the same emotional beats of the queer eye show, of like the guy coming to accept the robots and getting along with them quite well and hang out and having a nice time. I think that's really good. Being initially a little embarrassed, a little uncomfortable around them, but then Alistair, one of the things that those robots would tell the person is probably that they need to shave. That doesn't doubt, I don't doubt that at all. Very often, one of the steps to becoming a better self-you living your best life is sorting out

your facial hair situation. And I think it would be probably a deep blue that robot that plays chess. 25 years ago? 40 years ago? I think it's a good one, a better version of it now. 2.0 maybe. Right. It would recommend Harry's Rays' because it's just a smarter way to shave. It's the smartest way, and although it can be defeated by...

Or was that the one that got defeated by a human? Harry's raises. Yeah, no the deep blue deep blue maybe initially, but then I think it got better and it Okay, to be honest, I don't know enough about deep blue to back this up What's the new one? There's a new one that Microsoft got or something like that? It can't be beat it can't be beat at all sorts of things. Alfa go. Alfa go. The robot that plays go. Yeah.

That one. It'll tell you. OK. Harry's raises. Harry's dot com for it's like think tank. Get yourself $13. It feels like $15 worth of gear for just the cost of shipping. She's just going to be a couple of bucks. And you get, what do you get for that hour's day?

Why did, why did, why did handle? Oh, it's so weighted. And I was, when I read that, I was like, what do you get for that? I was there. Why did why did why did handle? Oh, it's so weighted And I was when I read that I was like what do they mean? What the what the what was the weight of a handle? How can a handle be well-weighted? Yeah, you feel this handle? I was like, oh, that's how oh that just feels good in my hand Yeah, I haven't let go of it since and it's such a nice feeling weight Mm-hmm that you realize that why are people trying to lose weight in the world? That's actually what our goal is. That ideal weight.

That ideal weight of these Harry's razors weighted handles. If we as humans could weigh that particular mass or weight, there would be no suffering left in the world. Probably. Yeah. There would be no suffering. There would be no suffering left in the world. It's got that travel case as well. Comes with a little little can of real nice feeling phone. Oh, love that phone. Face feels so good. God great, great smell. The razor, it's a cool little button pops off the end when you want to change the razor. It makes it so easy. I haven't had to change the razor yet because I don't shave all that often. And I just enjoy popping it off sometimes.

But sometimes you obviously you just use it to sort of cultured, like to shave off the edges of your beards. I definitely, I trim around the edges. And it's because it's got that trimmer on it. That little part at the top. I've never had that part on a razor before. Oh yeah, that extra blade on the top is to get up under the nozzle region.

Yeah, nozzle. Yeah, oh, I'll stare. And what do you have to do? You have to go to like harries.com slash think tank. That's what you've got to do. Get that open introductory offer of that starter pack. And I'm gonna stare, I think I've got this right. They've sold trillions of

raises to billions of people on every known star and planet in the visible universe. I wouldn't go up into space if I were you because there's Harry's razors flying everywhere everywhere. But you know what, that actually wouldn't be a problem because they're all wearing that travel case. Yes. And you're very safe. You're very safe. Harry's razors, Harry's.com-4-thes-think-tank.

The reason why I wouldn't go up into space is just because Harry's razors are based on Earth and it's just easier to get access to them. That's right. Why are we so focused on starting life, on Mars, moving somewhere else when we have everything we need right here, we need to stay here on Earth and fight for what is good and right and beautiful about Earth, and that is Harry's Raises.

Right here, Alistair, I'm furious. I believe we have three words from a supporter of the show. Yeah, we do, Andy. This one comes from a supporter of the show. Yeah, we do, Andy. This one comes from a supporter of the show, but also a friend of the show, Mr. Jack, because a lot of the supporters aren't friends of the show. Friend of the show in that he's been on the program. Sure.

Obviously, I find every listener to be a true friend. Because what is a friend, a good listener. Thank you. Yeah. Well, a friend of the show and listener and a person who supplies us with $3 every now and then. Checked through. Jack Drew's has given us three words

to come up with a sketch. Idea. Would you like to lay them on me? Are you ready? Yes, please. Five. Mm-hmm. Sketch.

No. Ideas. Oh, what a dog. What an absolute dog. That is, there's the podcast folding back in on itself. And it makes me scared that maybe all of the podcast so far has just been a sketch. And then when we come up with the answer to this, we'll just loop back around to the start again.

And we only exist within a joke that we're making about ourselves. Sure, sure, sure. Now sketch, let's say sketch five could be the fifth in a series of paintings, or drawings. A lot of these, you know, Yolin Da Vinci's, you're Michael Angelo's. They would do a series of, I believe they call them cartoons, which were like the sketches

that lead up to, you know, working out the ideas for the last supper. More. You're Michael Angelo's David. And a lot of these drawings, if you had them now, worth a lot of money. A lot of money. Really? Yeah. Well, apparently there's a lot of those in the back of the Monolisa, you know, on the paper behind it. You know, they're always behind all the paint.

Yeah, yeah. They just keep finding other things in the paint. That's... Yeah, I've heard this about some Rembrandt's and stuff as well. Like, there might even be a totally different painting underneath. In many ways, you could say that behind the painting, he's done some sketches. Maybe five different ideas. Okay, sure. maybe five different ideas. Okay, sure.

And so it's somebody, it's a scientist that's looking sort of using X-ray vision or maybe infrared, maybe ultraviolet. Hey, good one. Yeah, maybe ultraviolet to penetrate through the different layers. What about infrared? Hmm, ultra red.

Ultra Red. Ultra Red. Is ultra red visible light? I think it is. Yeah. Thank you. So under, under let's say a painting, there are, you discover the early things like what he was thinking about making this painting. I think that's really, really funny. Like maybe some objects that he had in there, like originally she was, I don't know, holding a gun or something funny other than that. Yeah, you know, there, like, I guess if there's five different things in here, this is like, it's almost like a sliding door is kind of scenario

where this guy could have, you could see all the different paths that his life would have gone if he hadn't have painted them on Alisa. Right, and so, yeah, I think one where she's holding a gun, I think is a great idea. I think originally maybe she was gonna be a cat or like a bowl of pears, and he just drew one of the pears wrong,

and that's why he, wound up me, while I've turned that that into a face and then I can turn. Maybe also initially, yeah, like he had tried to draw a horse, but he couldn't draw horse feet. And so you can see him trying to, you got the messed up horse feet. And then you see him trying to draw grass over the horse feet because must mess up horse feet.

Yeah. Like that. And then he's, it's just strongly scribbled. As you go back and layers, as you go back, I guess these would be sort of like micro. Micro. Yeah. My, my, my, my crowns of focus adjustment,

you can keep going back and seeing like that. And you see this. So the horse has been taken out. Yeah. And also maybe you see that initially the horse had a horn because he, he actually believed in, believed in a horn because he actually believed in horses with horns. Horses with horns. Oh, you know, it could have been originally like,

there was an ad or something in there. Like it was actually the whole thing was like a promotion for Whitlam's bread. Oh, Whitlam's bread. Oh, yeah. Maybe like Whitlam's arsenic bread. Yeah. Because back in those days, they probably thought that arsenic was actually had healing

properties. I tell you what, like I know Mercury is bad for you and gives you a lot of poisoning and stuff like that. But before we knew that, it must have been so much fun to play with Mercury. Mercury's so cool. If you're seeing it like globin' around, like a metal that's a liquid and it's all heavy and stuff. We don't get that joy anymore. That simple pleasure has been taken out of life. And it's like now you're not allowed to take nuts to school because kids could have an allergic reaction. Once upon a time kids would have

been bringing Mercury to school in their backpack. Little tub of Mercury and everyone would have played with it and then some kids going sane or I don't know develop cancer or whatever it is and suddenly oh you know all out to take Mercury to school anymore. I think that's a fun idea that maybe he was really pro Mercury. Yeah. Put that on there and he was like you know and he was and he was anti-vaxx. He was an anti-vaxxer as well. And this is done, Vax and I.

It's all this stuff that over time that they kind of just removed, that hid the fact that he actually really died. Well, that they were sensitive himself. Yeah, he censored himself as he realized that, you know, and back in those days, you could sit a sense of yourself because not that many people, you know,

they didn't have the internet. So information didn't travel that far. You could kill a guy on a horse and it was trying to transmit a message about that you were in the TVX or something like that. That's the message intercepted. That was the version of hacking that they would have done at the time.

Was that doxing someone? No, no, doxing is a thing. Doxing is a lot of, it would be like sending a lot of guys with horses. A lot of guys on horse. Yeah. Just until the ground around your building, just can't be called an accident. It's sending a lot of guys with horse. A lot of guys on horse. Just until the ground around your building, just can't be called a handle the land. I'll skill doxing.

But is this enough? Is this like that we find out about a guy such as? I think that just in general, and I don't know if we've hit on any of the specific examples but in general going through the layers of the Mona Lisa with modern technology, seeing what was originally in there I think is very very funny. Yeah, maybe something that reveals that all of those sketches that he did early on, you know, where people were like, oh Leonardo da Vinci came up with the idea for helicopters

and you know different things like that. Finds out that we find out that like within the sketch he had drawn, let's like the sort of slave chamber that he kept all the kids that were drawing and coming up with ideas for him. Yeah, because he can't make an omelette with that breaking egg. You can't make an omelette without breaking if you... Oh, yeah. Children's spirits. Yeah, spirits. But you would have to keep their spirits pretty high so they can keep come up with ideas.

Right, because the creativity is like... So it's like a bird. Is there the opposite of that? You can't come up with... You can't make an omelette without... without breaking a few eggs, but like a the positive version. Like... Like you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, but like a positive version, like, like you can't, or you can make an omelette without breaking eggs. I had no omelette the other day that was like some sort of vegan one that was like

polenta and stuff and it wasn't great, but, but you could make one. Yeah, it was, it existed. I mean, that's a funny idea because you can make a terrible onlit without breaking eggs and even allowing chickens to keep laying eggs. And the thing is though, you can also make a terrible omelette with breaking eggs. Yeah. Right. It's possible to make a terrible omelette either way. What about this? Could you find a source of power? Maybe this is another thing that's under the, under the, that he had invented a source of power that captures the energy of eggs coming out of cloacas.

Wow. Because that's, you know, like... Well, what is hydroelectricity except for catching the energy of an object falling out of something else? Really hydroelectricity is just, we're capturing, we have a little generator or a big generator, except for catching the energy of an object falling out of something else. Hydroelectricity is just, we're capturing, we have a little generator or big generator, we're catching the water as it flows down the pen stops, you know, turning the turbines. What about a little turbine on a chicken's bum?

Every time an egg comes out, knocks it around. Yeah, exactly, knocks it around. Cheterated electricity. Everything that falls, and even that falls, this is good. I like this, not for DaVinci, but for a sketch. No, no, no. Anything that falls.

Could be a source of energy. This is a source of energy. Yeah, but look, I think DaVinci, you know, DaVinci came up with the idea of a cloaca generator before anyone else. Yeah, and that's why today we have that little generator so that when you take your pants off, you get a little bit of electricity.

Yeah, and the urethral hydro, urethral hydro that comes from basically the Leonardo Vinci sketch from behind the thing where we found out that all his ideas came from slave children and it was an anti-vaxxer. Yeah, I thinkvaxxer. I think, look, how I say, whatever you, way you feel comfortable writing that down as a piece of information, that's fine.

If you think all of that is part of the same sketch, or about the rest of everything that falls. You know, everything, um, yeah, everything falls, uh, standards, hair, dandruff. If you had a big funnel, sort of down the back of your head so that when flakes of dandruff fall off, they fall through a little to it. One of those dog head cones. Dog head cone. Would be perfect for collecting all that. Yeah. Maybe like little turbines that just go along the edge of your body and collect all the

eddy currents that are sort of falling down your body and just spin. What about running? Yeah. Frowning. Yeah. Apparently it takes more muscles to frown than it does to small. Sp isn't that's why is it energy as the corners of your mouth fall as I go down yeah a little The little contraption Spinning things and what have you whites and stuff moving up and Da Vinci came up with that Da Vinci came up with all of that Elis, did he came up? That's what he had written down on one of the layers, because he only had one piece of parchment at the time.

You just had to keep rubbing it out or just painting it over. I think over the top. It was real thick. Yeah, note books used to just be layers of paint on top of each other and you couldn't access the early pages. The only way you could turn a page was to wait a thousand years until they developed the kind of electron microscopy that would allow you to read the layers beneath. But people were more patient in those days because they didn't have TV, longer attention

spans. Do you ever think about how patient crocodiles are? They just sit there and doing nothing for like three days, you know, their eyes. What are they thinking about? What do they think? Yeah, do they have like a very rich inner life? They must. Or they, do you think that they're okay? Do you think they're okay with just sitting and not thinking? Well, they could be very epicurian, you know, that they're just happy in the moment, they just experience what they experience and they, you know, but, you know, but if they're very happy in the moment, they just experience what they experience and they, you know.

But, you know, but if they're very happy and blissful, just sitting there, it feels so crazy to then chomp at a living thing and kill it so that you can, I guess just feel more joy. I guess that's it, isn't it? Is that why we all enjoy us cruelty? Joyous cruelty. Oh, cool George, tell them that band name.

Anyway, I guess we did it, right? Yeah. But you want to take us through the ideas. We'll take us through the sketch ideas. We've got the speed of light. We can't reach nothing can go faster than it because we're lazy or because it's all lazy. It's all lazy?

Like nothing can get faster, get you faster than that. Because it, we're lazy. Because it's lazy. Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy things.

Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy things. Lazy beams. Lazy beams. Lazy beams are good band name. Oh, that must be taken, right? It's got to be taken. Yeah. Maybe spelt with an S. I think it is spelt. Saser beam. Anyway, um, object. Oh, the object recasting of Seinfeld. So we redo all Seinfeld, but recast everybody, every character as an object. Yeah. And I'd love to come up with a word that's like white washing, but white good washing, we replace everything with white goods. Hmm. There you go. What's that word that sounds like it means white good, but it actually means like deli means Small goods. Okay, they go small goods

And we got the torture lobby. Yep, which is the people who are trying to protect torture You know from being banned, and then they come in and they talk about how that science isn't really clear, that torture is bad. I just discredit a lot of the anti-torches science. I mean, that's kinda has happened in America with under George W. Bush when they brought torture back in because they thought that they could stop

terrorist attacks but People have realized that you can't actually get any good quality information of somebody you're torturing Turns out you got to make them feel like they have free will and that they're That actually want wanna talk to you for them to give you the information that you might want. It's crazy.

I mean, personally, I find small talk torture, so it's real hard for me. So it's really turning the tables on the American. Yeah, in a way. In order to get good quality information, they have to torture themselves. By having to create small talk with terrorists. People that have nothing in common with,

that's a nightmare, isn't it? Well, they're both a lot of freedom, probably. It's... Dividable. Business, one of the reasons why you would perform a terrorist attack on somebody, because you don't feel like you're free under this global empire that is kind of invading your country or how see you've got to the bottom of it yeah and

you're gonna have sketch here where you put you know where you where you put the torture chamber in a building is it it could you put it in the lobby could you put it maybe I think like an architect who's willing to break down those boundaries and radically rethink the design of medieval castles. Yeah. Is really. Not just medieval castles, maybe like, you know, intelligence buildings. Sure. You know, for intelligence headquarters.

Yeah. Or even just a regular corporate torture room. You know, like that you would have in a skyscraper. Or even like what about a sex dungeon in your house? Why have that in the downstairs area? Why not have the dungeon? Why does the dungeon have to be downstairs? What kind of dungeon?

Could it be the bedroom? Could it be the living room? Could it be the outside, a door patio? Could it be a loft? Could it be a penthouse dungeon? Like an open, an open sort of sunroom kind of dungeon, or like an open sky dungeon, dungeon, dungeon. Dic-dic-dang-dang-dang.

Have we got small towns trying to get people in? And that's the TV series where each small town is doing something in order to get tourists in because their industries are all dying there because nobody has any reason to go to a small town anymore unless they're just people who have moved out there And then they commute into the city to work. They sound really reasonable. Those people. I don't know. No, not convinced. I'm not convinced. I think torture if we put it out in the open, maybe people won't see it as so bad as well because like, you know, when you hide something, people are like, well, obviously it looks bad when you put it in the base. It seems sinister. It seems more sinister. If it's not bad, then

why are you hiding it? Exactly. But if you're doing it out in the open, people must be walking past being like, oh, well, I mean, they're, you know, each their own. Just a guy stretched a strap to a chair, like it's always pulling little hairs on the back of their neck. Yeah, what an awful thing to do to a person. Yeah, I know, but out in the open, it doesn't seem so bad. No, no, no. But in a dark room underground, you know, put it in a cell on, suddenly it's a beauty treatment of some kind. Exactly.

That's essentially what having your hair plucked out is. I'm making a bloody comment on something or other. Yeah, but you don't leave the hair in when you get it plucked out. That's true. That's what you made for that. You know, like when we get a hair, pluck down, you take the hair out. But if you're torturing somebody, you leave those hairs in, so you got something to keep pulling.

Keep pulling on us, that's sustainable. So you keep, that's very unsustainable pulling all the hairs out, because then you got nothing to torture them with. Yeah. You only got every other tool available to you in the world. Sure. Wait, we're up to... We're up to ABC off. John Travolta's back. John Travolta's back. The TV channel or it's just blackness, but we're filming John Travolta's back. I'm really interested in how we what we do with it. Yeah, me too. And we got the flaw finding booth. It's basically a kind of

queer eye for in a booth form. It tells you everything is wrong with you and how you could improve your life. It's actually a really nice thing, but it comes from a bad place a lot of time from people criticizing other people and things like that. But if it comes from a booth, it comes from a booth. People will be able to accept it much more easily. comes from a booth. Comes from a booth? People are able to accept it much more easily. Absolutely. And then we have a queer eye, but with robots.

And so it's robots giving you how you could make your life more robotic together. Yeah, I guess so. Whatever it is that they have, that makes them seem so together. Like you don't complain about the work you have to do. You just don't feel it Right. Yeah, okay. Oh, well then it's it's quite grim. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's all right

But we still it's got like jazzy music and a lot of good cuts and stuff like that No, but maybe it could like high energy, but maybe they could go in there They could sort of like perform sort of keyhole surgery all over your body where it cuts all the nerves So that you don't don't feel it sort of like performs sort of keyhole surgery all over your body where it cuts all the nerves so that you don't feel any pain. Don't feel any pain. Don't feel any more. Maybe it like deep programs your brain so that it doesn't access any of those chemical

feelings as well, like those kinds of feelings. Right, and then at the end you go on a date. Yeah. And they all watch. They all watch. watch drinking cocktail. Then we got the Jack Drus inspired sketch of the back layers of Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, revealing the five sketches and ideas that he had back there that change how we view Mr. Davinci. Absolutely.

And then we have the everything that falls energy capturing program that the world brings in in order to, I guess, free us from maybe the big corporations who we really decentralize energy production. To a crazy extent. Crazy extent. No, I think that's really good. I like that. I'd like to see that happen.

Beans. Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds.

Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds. Thanks so much to Harry's Razor's for supporting this episode. Thank you. Harry's.com for the last think tank. But thank you to all of you for supporting this show by listening. By listening.

Slash think tank. We are doing a show at the upcoming Melbourne Comedy Festival, International Comedy Festival. Yes. We are doing a show at the upcoming Melbourne Comedy Festival, International Comedy Festival. From the 28th of March till the 8th of April, that is 10 nights in which you can come and see us. Tickets are available at comedyfestival.com.au. It's called Andy Matthews, Annalyseuchombley, virtual sci-fi sketch experience. Some of these sketches that you may have come to know and love through their

idea forms here. Should we give a hint about what some of them are going to be or do you want to not tell people? We can give a hint about one. One per episode that we would mention this in. Can I give my first hint? Soy boy. Soy boy will make an appearance. Yeah. I'm very excited. I'm very excited about Soy boy too You can rate us on iTunes or any of those things stitcher if you use stitcher You could rate us on there. We love it the right the reviews make us feel good except for the one bad one from Canada Which makes us feel which makes us feel not bad but like probably raunchous and hard done by. No, it's okay. It's amazing how all bad words will make you feel bad I think. But at some point you read them enough that you find a way to trick your brain into thinking,

well just justifying why this person doesn't know what they're talking about. And even though people give us five star reviews, which nothing in the world deserves five stars, there's clearly no... We are so thankful and... Yes, people have written some really, really lovely things. Thank you so much. You can find us online. I'm at Stupid Old Annie on Twitter. And I'm at Alistair TV. And we are at To In Tank. And you can find us on Patreon if you'd like to support us there. You can give us money. To In The Thing Tank on Patreon.

Yeah. Or if you want to find other ways that you can support us, we're open to suggestions. If like, let's say you have a ways that you can support us. We're open to suggestions. If like, let's say you have a house that you don't want. If you're an old person and who's going to die soon and you want to give up your house to somebody in a will, think of us. Yeah. Sure. Well, except that.

I don't have this a Patreon function for that. Wow, doesn't matter. We could work it on Twitter or something. Yeah. We'll slip into the DMs and work something out. Yeah, and we'll take that inheritance. That's the quest. We should come up with a podcast idea that really targets 99 years old. 99 years.

Oh, yeah. We'll do a podcast for those people. So you're 99 years old and you have no family. And I guess we just, maybe we just chat and we just talk about our family and our lives and how we're planning to come and see them soon. Yeah. And well, I look, I don't want to make any promises that we can't do. No, no, no, but that's why I said soon. Okay. I know, but that still sounds like we would eventually go.

As soon as we have a chance, as soon as we can get away from work, we'll come and visit. And we're really looking forward to catching up. Just into this made some jam that she wants you to try. Oh, they love that. They love that kind of stuff. They prefer marmalade though. Yeah, that's still a jam.

Yeah, I know, but it's more specific. And if we're going to try to target 99 year olds with no family, yeah, we got to really figure out what they like. No family and a house. Yeah. I mean, unless you have assets, we got to really sort of filter out people with no assets. Yeah, we don't want to see it stuff.

Oh, I know, but they might know somebody who's got assets. You know, because how can- 99-year-old would know family? Anyway, but if we do the podcast for long enough, people will get older and eventually be 99 and possibly have lost all their family Here's how you pick anyway We love you this podcast is part of the planet broadcasting network visit planet broadcasting dot com for more podcasts from our great mates

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