Two In The Think Tank - 128 - "THE PRESIDENT'S LUCKY EGG"

Episode Date: April 24, 2018

Literal Spaceship Earth, Literal Oval Office, Lionised, Free(mason) Comedy!, Flesh Window, Body Hammer, Hyphen-condriacAnd you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two ...in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereA clinical overdose of thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:32 this podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM you and the voices are something weird's happening with this. Why? I don't know, it's fine. Yeah, great. You're listening to the thing tank, the podcast, where we come up with five sketch ideas and he's brain just broke. No, the recording device was behaving in a strange way, Alistair. No, the recording device. I protest, you know, I don't, I think you think that the problem was with me, but actually, I was just struggling to interface with modern technology, which is the thing we can all relate to. Oh, absolutely. You know, but in
Starting point is 00:01:35 a way, every single person is a recording device. You're right. Although I would say that the audio quality might of the anti-mathias personal recording device is low. I know it's bad. It's a way to reproduce. I think it's kind of better at just processing because it turns music into a feeling. That's a great way. That is a really good way to store data, isn't it? But that's a great way. That is a really good way to store data, isn't it? Yeah, you're right. The compression there is really, really high and it makes efficient use of, that is what it is, isn't it? That's what feelings are. They're a compression algorithm. It's a way of turning information into a simple, storeable unit of information known as a gist. One, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, But I mean, you could only get mega-jists once we get computers to store information in
Starting point is 00:02:47 the way that humans do. I don't know. We could calculate, you know, once you've got the gist of a certain number of things in your own head, I would say that you've stored. That's true. A killer gist of mega-jist. A giga-jist. I guess after, you know know 30 years of life Hmm
Starting point is 00:03:05 What you know, I'm starting to move quickly away from the number 30 I'm very nice. I'm gonna be 35 this year I don't know if I've said I just realized that's that's half way to not being anywhere near 30. I I don't think age is a barrier. Yeah, but 40 certainly feels like a pretty big hurdle. Oh my god, I never want to reach 40. The fact that 40 is even on the cards for me is crazy. Yeah, I think I'd like to skip it sort of like you would the 13th floor on a hotel elevator. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:03:42 So you just want to go from. So you just wanna go from, like do you wanna go from 39 to 41, or do you wanna give it some breathing room, right? Like really leap over it and go from like 36 to 53. I think I'd like to go to 39, Yes. Then 39 and a half, Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Then 39 and three quarters. Okay, so we're approaching it asymptotically. Yeah, and then 39 and five, six. Okay. And then 39 and seven, eights, right? But then, 45. I think that would be good. I think 45 is kind of like, you know, you're coming into your own, you've realized life isn't going
Starting point is 00:04:29 to, you've seen some shit, life isn't going to bother you anymore. You're getting close to 50. How do you feel about a radical sort of anti-aging therapy where we blast the earth into a further radius from the sun. So take us take longer for us to get around the sun so the year is longer so people don't have as many birthdays. So that means you don't age but also it'll have the benefit of reducing global warming. Do we use maybe like a big magnifying glass to kind of like keep summer days kind of nice? Do you think, or do we have to live in a kind of like Arctic world?
Starting point is 00:05:18 No, no, I mean, we just take it far enough out. Like, I reckon this, the Goldilocks zone has got a bit of play in it. Like, I reckon we couldilocks Zone has got a bit of play in it. I reckon we could be reasonably further away and still. Where would we put our Earth rocket? Good question. Because where would you attach that Earth rocket? Yeah. Would you think Polynesia. I think what you would have to, I think you would have to, because the earth is spinning, right? Yeah. I think you would have to put a like a spike. You have to make a sort of a pincer thing, right? That has one spike that goes into the North Pole and one spike that goes into the South Pole and then like a big semi-circular kind of hoop thing that goes all the way around
Starting point is 00:06:04 the earth. Maybe a fall. So the earth can keep spinning on that thing and then like the rocket is attached to that hoop sort of in the middle of the hoop. And it can come around. Yeah. It can come around and change the direction and stuff like that. And that would also help with blocking out some of the sun.
Starting point is 00:06:21 So that would already help with the big hoop. All the rocket as well. How about you picturing the rocket? It's got to be pretty big. It's huge. It's got to be maybe 500 kilometers across. At least 500 kilometers across. Yeah. And so but then what do we get the fuel for that? Do you think we start? No, but do you think maybe we could start just hollowing out the earth a bit?
Starting point is 00:06:44 Getting some of that those nuclear reactions that are happening on the outside. This has got to work with your, because all that stuff's under pressure, right? Yeah, isn't it? Yeah, it's under pressure. Right. So say the little things that we put into each hole of the pivot points in the north pole and the south pole. They're a tube, right? And we drill that real deep inside the earth and then the tube goes out and around, right? From both ends, along that hoop that's around next to the earth, or the connect the two pivot points. And then in the middle of
Starting point is 00:07:14 the hoop, there's like just an outlet, right? And we just, the pressure from inside the earth squirts that magma up out around the tube and then out the back of the hoop, the hole, and blast us out through space. And the earth will end up a bit hollow. Sure. Okay, but that's fine. That's fine because then. That space in the earth.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Yeah. Real estate. What can we use that for? Fill it up with. Put all our stuff. Garbage. Storage? Oh, eventually we will. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. Like, wait, there's an apple, yeah, okay. Apple doesn't have crust. You have a crusty apple.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Just a few crusty apples, through a whole batch. Absolutely. Barrel. If you open up an apple and it was flaky, crust and... Night. Oos, oozen crust.
Starting point is 00:08:19 What would be the worst possible name for an apple? The flaky Greg? Oh, the flaky Greg's pretty bad. You know, is there an apple called a Jonathan? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's already really funny. You're right.
Starting point is 00:08:44 That is very funny. You're right. That is very funny. Who is like, what should we call this animal? This animal, this apple. Jonathan? Jonathan. It's bad enough when people give dogs, human names. Yeah. But apple, that's not even in the animal kingdom.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Come on. I'm eating Jonathan. And there's not even a whole plant, you know? Like, like it's just a small part of the plant. It's just a three. It's just a sea delivery system. You know, that would be like if you called your fingernail, oak tree.
Starting point is 00:09:19 That's right, yeah. Or if you called the crease, please come up with something funnier than what I just said. Right, right, right. If you called the crease. Please come up with something funnier than what I just said. Right, right, right. If you called the crease where you're asked me to your thigh. Yes, it's already good. If you called it parlor room.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Yeah. Parlor room. I think I liked your enthusiasm for supporting idea, because I really didn't think at all before I said anything. Right, so I support everything you'd say and do. I'd like to know, but how do you wind up with an apple called Jonathan? It just sounds like it's designed to be told off. Jonathan?
Starting point is 00:09:59 Like, if you want an apple, you can berate, pick the Jonathan. Pick the Jonathan. Pick up the Jonathan. Jonathan? An apple, you can berate. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like a great selling point. Hmm. Just think about it.
Starting point is 00:10:14 What can apples do that humans can do? They can bruise. Yeah. They can split into... They can be eaten. Yeah. You can plant them. You can fall out of the tree.
Starting point is 00:10:37 You're right. In many ways, apples are not that different to people. Oh, they can both be likened to bad apples. Yeah, they can, they can really make an apple pie. Yes. I mean, I guess Granny Smith is like a trend, you know, part of the trend, isn't it? Part of a trend? Well, of giving human names to apples. Yeah, the granny definitely kind of gets a little bit dehumanized. I think for a long time, I didn't link it with a granny. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:18 You know, I would link it just with, it's just the word granny. That's interesting. Because it could sound like it's an adverb Granny, yeah, it's like it's quite grand. Yeah, it's very it's a very granny apple. Oh, this one's flowery. Well, this one's granny Yeah, does that go the other way though? Like do you think that way about actual granny's? Because you call them grand. Yeah, I don't very often call them grand. I'll see, so I haven't had, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:11:50 I had that was a real shutdown, wasn't it? No, no, no, no, I mean, it wasn't much of an offering elsewhere. No, Andy, before. I think some offerings deserve to be shut down. You think so? Yeah, fail early, fail often. Can you hear that in pro people?
Starting point is 00:12:03 Yeah. Can you hear that early fail often. Can you hear that in pro people? Yeah, can you hear that? Fail often feel fail sometimes. Yeah, like in improv, do you think that when the first person who ever said Always say yes and somebody said nah I mean it makes sense. I mean they didn't know the rule at the time. Yeah. And that person they should have listened to. That's right. They didn't apply it anyway. Andrew, do we? Oh, it's just kind of like having to kind of reorganize
Starting point is 00:12:33 what we've done so far. Done is a strong way. Yeah. So is there something in this planet that we're hollowing out by shooting the magma into space. We were doing it initially so that we aged slower and we all felt better. I think that's a good idea. But I realize though that if the years are longer, then for the same number of birthdays, you will look older. At least for the people, while numerically, you won't have had as many birthdays.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Yeah. Physically, you'll look terrible. You know? Kind of like, kind of like one year could be like one presidential term. Yeah. So you come out of it looking, and you go into a year looking like young Obama.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Oh, man. Come out of it looking like, like, you know, retiring Obama. I think that's just a great analogy to use. Like just to say somebody who, like who parties hard or whatever, it's like man, he lives these years like their presidential terms. Because at the end of them,
Starting point is 00:13:37 he is aged considerably. And he makes a lot of money from speaking to us. Way too much. I don't understand the economics money from speaking to us. Way too much. I don't understand the economics that I was speaking to as man. Like where are they getting the hundreds of thousands of dollars that it costs to get Bill Clinton to talk at your one event?
Starting point is 00:13:54 What could he possibly say? What could he possibly say? At this point, I mean, he's written books, he's given speeches, I'm sure, that you can watch online. He had eight years of giving speeches, really's written books, he's given speeches, I'm sure that you can watch online. He had eight years of giving speeches, really well written speeches, rewatch those. If he's got something that he didn't put on the table
Starting point is 00:14:14 when he was the president, I'd be very surprised. You can get all of that for free. Charge, I'll tell you what, I do a service, 50 bucks, right? Pay me 50 bucks, I'll edit you a highlights reel of Bill Clinton's speeches, and I'll send you a box of shapes. There you go, that's a whole event. I mean, you're not really valuing yourself that much today. I don't care, I'm just trying to save these people some money.
Starting point is 00:14:36 I know, I want the economy to be more efficient. Yeah, I know, but isn't the economy better when money's moving around? Oh, that's true. You're gonna get that money, baby. But then is Obama now part of the 1%? He wouldn't be the 1%, would he? He'd be up there, I reckon.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Yeah, 2, 3%. But there's a huge drop off after 1%. Is there really? Like I think there really isn't that... I thought there'd be some kind of a curve. I know, but doesn't it look like the 1% own as much as like the next two thirds or whatever? Really?
Starting point is 00:15:06 I don't know. Yeah, probably. Oh, man. Um, so look, I've got two... No, I think that is... I think that is a thing. I like how crazy it is, right, and how elaborate it is. And I think, like, it being pitched quite seriously in a conf press conference or something like that
Starting point is 00:15:27 As the way we're gonna deal with global warming Yeah, I think that's good like coming from in global aging. Yeah. Yeah, that's great You know that yeah, they're adding in one of the extra things what are the extra benefits that we get out of this? It's a triple threat fixed global warming slow aging and find somewhere to put our garbage. Tell you what, it's a real risky move though. You want to make sure you're your rocket scientist.
Starting point is 00:15:53 I don't know. Occasionally you just got to go for a, you just got to try something, you know. I think humanity has been playing it safe for a long time. I guess because you got that swing and around rocket thing, you can keep readjusting. Yeah. But what if your rocket breaks down? I guess you can just shoot yourself back into orbit at any point once you fix it. I hope you can fix it. Yeah, as long as you can fix it.
Starting point is 00:16:15 It's not even really a rocket. It's more like the earth is now blasting through space like a balloon with the air being let out of it. Yeah. It's a balloon rocket. Do you ever make balloon rockets. Yeah. Yeah. It's a balloon rocket. Did you ever make balloon rockets? Made of months. A longer piece of string?
Starting point is 00:16:29 A longer piece of string. You get a straw or you get a balloon. It's the kind of thing you'd find in like one of those kids' science experiment books. Yeah. They're really stretching the bottom end of the science bracket, are they? Well, you know, it's still a bit like rocket science.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I suppose. I mean what are you gonna tell kids to do? What are you gonna give them? Like liquid nitrogen so that they can ignite it. I don't know why I'm playing this character where I don't enjoy rocket balloons. I love rocket balloons. I made them when I was a kid and I had a great time and I was trying to be cool and act like I didn't care. Andy, I tell you what, when you play this character of a guy who loves rocket balloons, it's really unbecoming of you. No, hey, I've written down the word doubt on my hand, I'm just there because I had an idea before. Great. And, you know, this is probably nothing but it's going into the science and leading into science. Oh, sounds like you're really embodying this idea so far.
Starting point is 00:17:27 And we've taken, we've, we may have talked about something like this in the past as well, but it's the idea of like the additional properties that particles can have, right? Because at the moment they can have mass and they can have spin and they can have charge. Maybe some other stuff, I don't know, but I would like it if they could also possess doubt. All right. Is there like a limit on how many properties they have or is it just how many properties they've discovered? I think that's actually a good question. I don't know if they think that there is a limit to how many properties they have. I would say they might have put a cap on it as part of the standard model of particle physics
Starting point is 00:18:14 or whatever. But I just wanted to introduce down to you. I mean, the idea of doubt doesn't seem that crazy with particles. Especially when you look at the way that an electron moves. It doesn't move in a very certain way. Right, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's probably, Heisenberg uncertainty. It probably already is doubt.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Alright, forget it. It's already done. I came up with the thing that already is. Andy, you're just an instinctive micro physicist. But I was wondering, like, the idea was linked to dark matter, right? Because we also don't know if it really exists, right? And maybe that's just because doubt is a property of the thing, like maybe not being able to prove whether or not it exists is a part of its nature. being able to prove whether or not it exists is a part of its nature. Maybe you could measure as part of it, you could measure the probability that it exists and that's like a fixed thing.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Is there an element that maybe dark matter could just be a probability cloud? And the reason that we can't see it means that it doesn't collapse into a thing so that into existence. Whoa, I love to hear. Oh, yes, I love this. Yeah. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:19:38 I mean, that is exactly the kind of high level scientific bullshit that really gets me going. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I mean, yeah, I mean, people talk about, you know, there's a clatter gas out there, but some crab head, nebula or whatever. Can't it just be a clatter probability? I don't know. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Shit. From the microphone. Really? Yeah, I don't know if you could hear. I couldn't, but I could tell from your face that there must have been something going on. Something's going on with Andy. I see was very distressed. I'm worried about him. Look, you know, the doubt, space doubt. Space doubt. I think it could be a thing. I don't know if it could be a sketch. So it's more like I guess the future of physics than it is a sketch. It's more like I guess
Starting point is 00:20:30 a Nobel Prize probably than it is like a little sketch for whatever it is that you're doing over there. It's more like a million dollars and changing theaces of reality. But, okay. But, no, you don't write it down there. Do you want to write it down? No, really, no. Not about so, like, people are on a rocket, they're going to Mars. Yes. Or maybe they're already on Mars, which one you've heard. Well, they're still on the rocket, but on Mars?
Starting point is 00:20:57 Yeah, they could be in the rocket on Mars, deciding, they're talking, they're thinking about going out. Yep. Right? They're getting put on their spacesuits. They're having a chat. Yeah. They're getting put on their spacesuits. They're having a chat. They're going, oh, this is going to be fun probably.
Starting point is 00:21:09 It's good to have made it. Yes. I mean, imagine if it all went wrong now. No. Okay? I'm going to bring my lucky egg. I'm going to bring my lucky egg. I'm going to bring my lucky egg.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Are you not supposed to bring eggs? You'll contaminate the surface of the egg. Are you not supposed to bring eggs? You'll contaminate the surface of the egg. No. Well, maybe also. Yes. I mean, the idea of anyone having a superstition at that point is very amusing to me. Like At that point is very amusing to me. Like, but I look at Alice said, this is probably taking it back into the territory of stuff we've done before, but a presidential candidate, who a big part of their campaign is the fact that they've got their lucky egg. You know, they're talking about the team they've assembled. My advice, President, Mr. Klein Wilkinson, obviously, you know, former Secretary General of the
Starting point is 00:22:15 United Nations, obviously, that's very wise and intelligent. We can make it the Australian government. I'm doing American. Okay. I'm doing my American accent. That could be a woman too. And yes, this is a woman. And my, you know, chief of staff.
Starting point is 00:22:33 I'm born in a... Romani, but not on a... She's really great. And the closer I got my lucky egg. And the last one. I like the sound of that egg. Well I mean it's got a miss for it. It isn't the same way people thought Trump being a businessman. Exactly. Also he'd been like he'd sort of screwed people over and stuff. Well now he's going to be doing
Starting point is 00:23:04 it for us. He's going to be using that all those Well, now he's gonna be doing it for us. He's gonna be using that all those tactics. He's gonna be doing it for America for us. Now, he's had that lucky egg his whole life. Now, that lucky egg's gonna be working for all of us. Share that luck around. This is my favorite idea we've ever had. Really?
Starting point is 00:23:22 Yeah. I'm picturing the egg. Now, Alistair, I don't know how you're picturing the egg, but is the egg peeled? Really, I just picture a little face drawn on it. I think I also was picturing a face drawn on it. How great is that? That was really good.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Oh, that lucky egg. Wait, wait, so you picture it peeled with a face? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Well, I just, the color in my mind was like appeal to it. It doesn't, we don't need to go into the details. What the hell is this? Don't, come on.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Don't get bogged out. I think we could just have a four part series on all the different types of presidents, maybe. Yeah, four part series. Four different types of presidents. You got yellow yags. You got your candidate in a box, you've got your reluctant president. Yeah, you're reluctant for it and then you've got a woman
Starting point is 00:24:09 president. Yeah, four kinds of president. But there's I mean there's a huge risk there, isn't it, that somebody else could get that get a hold of the lucky egg. Absolutely. What if the lucky egg decides to leave? Decides to leave or run against, I don't know, somehow. We find out the lucky egg is conspiring. I mean, if the Democrats flip the egg. Yeah. I think flip.
Starting point is 00:24:43 That would be amazing. That's why I mean I guess I was assuming that it was a Republican president. I'm quitting comedy after this lucky egg idea. I don't know what it is. Makes me so happy. And it's got to be the president. It can't be the Australian Prime Minister. That's so shit. What if we had a Republican? We had our own president. No, no, it still doesn't count. Even if we were the most powerful nation on earth, I would still want it to be the American president with a lucky egg. Could it be the equivalent of Xi Jinping in China? In China.
Starting point is 00:25:19 But then there's just an element of, I think, because we're white and then we're kind of like, we're saying that they've got a lucky egg, makes it sound like we're saying, that's just the thing that they do. Yeah, it's a natural. People might not think that it's as weird. No, we're saying it's Americans, it's a thing that they do.
Starting point is 00:25:37 I know, but they just go, there's a thing that this American man does. Or one. Or one. They could also be a Chinese national because in this future the lucky egg allowed them to circumvent. They didn't need to be born in America. The egg was born in America. That's not how they could do it. Technically the egg was on the... It was actually the egg that was the president
Starting point is 00:26:08 Egg president Egg president and then there's a scandal like oh no where they find out that he actually dropped the egg Six months ago and that this is just another Like was inside him all along. I know but the eggs of the president. Oh, yeah So it's like a movie Dave Dave the eggs of the president. Oh yeah. So it's like a movie dive. Dive? I think that's the one where the president is replaced by a look like because the president's in a kind of person. And they just found one where they had one locked and loaded. Well he was a guy who impersonated the president as a job. He showed up to events looking like the president. And then the president went into a coma at a heart attack.
Starting point is 00:26:49 I think I might have been Kevin Klein, Blah. Anyway, they got this guy in to do it because they thought the president would come out of the coma and will be able to carry on as if nothing's happened. But then the president died. And then it was like, was it played by the same actor? Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:03 And that made it a lot easier. It makes it a lot easier than in the reality. I mean, what a scoop though, that they were able to get in for both roles. That was incredible, actually. I mean, the lock-in-in once for a movie is great. It's a lock-in-in twice. Journalistic scoop.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Journalistic scoop. What a scoop. I'm just picturing somebody picking up dog shit. Oh, with a scoop. Yeah. Oh, the Cooper a scoop. Yeah. Oh, little scoop, a scoop. Yeah. I mean, I like the idea of something like that,
Starting point is 00:27:30 where they try to do it with a look alike, and like, you know, like an impersonator, and nobody buys it. Yeah, wow. Because I mean, how quickly it would crumble for the government when people start going What is this yeah like general like you know pundits and things like that going well they've And who looks a bit like the president has been talking as if he's the president
Starting point is 00:27:58 There's no word. Why is it no word as to whether or not this is a joke. We're not understanding And then they have to like explain Oh, we thought that you wouldn't notice We thought you wouldn't know this You caught us in my really embarrassed the president went into a coma And And you thought this was the way to deal with that Get a pretend one who looks like him a bit
Starting point is 00:28:24 Yes, well, I mean, they have a very different face. I mean, I can't even see does the voice okay? We had that, I think got a previous episode of the podcast that one party, we actually did have the one party runs an impersonator of the leader of the previous of the other party. Yeah, right. That sort of mocking them and everyone votes for them because they think it's a funny impersonation. That's a great idea. Yeah, is it good?
Starting point is 00:28:58 So I guess we can't write down this one then. Oh, look, maybe not. Oh, I mean, it's a different. I mean, it's a different idea. Yeah, it's a different idea. Yeah, we'll write it down. Well, I'll write it down just because, you know, since we haven't done anything with the other one yet, this one, you know.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I think it's still a gap in the schedule, you know? Yeah. A sketch gap. Oh, that's two back-to-back president ideas as well. Isn't that great? Look, we'll make one of them the president of a different country. Well, it could be the president of the Lions Club. Great.
Starting point is 00:29:30 You know, the Rotary. I guess that's, well, it's even lower stakes. The idea that it's like the president of a surf club or of a scouts. What is going to happen to the Rot and the lion's clubs and stuff? Are there more people going to go into them? Like, do you, or can you imagine anyone you know joining one of those community organizations? I think, look, I, nobody I know. I think I know one person who might be a, what like a what's the Rotarian? No, no, the um
Starting point is 00:30:08 the legacy. The one the the one the the big stone cutters there. What are they called the real Freemasons? Yeah, I think I want to know one person is a Freemasons. You're a Freemason. Yeah. Well, I would thought they were like definitely extinct. No, I think I think they still give each other help. Man, the Freemasons it'd be worth getting in there just for the real estate They've got those Freemason halls all over the place. They're good big buildings good location. You could run comedy gigs That is underutilized public space as a copy festival venue waiting to happen Oh my god Andy and only you and I You're responsible for waiting to happen. Oh my god, Andy.
Starting point is 00:30:43 And only you and I know about this. Okay. Scan. But also, there can't be that many of them left, right? And what would you, you could use it, what a great mailing list as well, to get people along to your shows. They probably all have money, I imagine. Probably.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Right, they're all helping each other get more money. Maybe you could lend him. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average,
Starting point is 00:31:23 and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now quote today at progressive.com progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates national average 12 months savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023 potential savings will vary discounts things were very discounts, not available in our safe and situations. Been for free mates, right? Special, maybe not a handshake. Free mates. Free mates, right?
Starting point is 00:31:49 Free mates, right. Free mates, right? Free mates, right. Free mates, right? Free mates, right? They just used the promo code, free mates, and you can get in for 25% of your... For 25% of your... Is that a sketch us getting into the free basins and then just totally misusing their whatever it is they're like their resources their mailing list
Starting point is 00:32:20 We we make it to the top of the organization We make it to the top of the organization, because look, look, Alistair, these weird cults and societies and religions and whatever they are, the people always get to the top and what do they do? They start having sex scandals. They start abusing their power to sleep with people. That's right.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Wouldn't it be refreshing if somebody got to the top one of these organizations and then started using their abusing their power to get people along to their open mic night. Absolutely, but they run in the venue. Yes, and then maybe this down the track, this would become the next, you know, this is gonna be a bad taste joke.
Starting point is 00:33:02 It's gonna become the next me too. Right, you know, at a certain point in the future, This is going to be a bad taste joke. It's going to become the next me too. Right. At a certain point in the future, we realize that it's not okay to force people, oh man, if this happens, I am fucked. In the future, if we realize that it's not okay to force people to come along to your comedy shows, I mean, we're all in big trouble. Right. There's going to be a reckoning. This will not age well, Andy. If, if one day they find out that it's not okay to force people to come to your comedy
Starting point is 00:33:29 shows. Yeah. Let's hope, oh my god, I'm really worried now. That, yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it, it seems fine now, but maybe that's just the circles that we're surrounded in the culture that we're a part of that normalizes it. Anyway. Andy. Did you write down that joint, join the Freemasons to set up Comedy Rooms idea? Look, I'll write it down right now. I think that's a thing. What was the thing you were writing before then? The previous idea. Yeah. You know, they can't write. You can't write and talk at the same time. You can't write and then communicate a completely different idea through a different
Starting point is 00:34:10 medium simultaneously. No, no, it seems crazy. What I was writing down was trying to replace the president of Lions Club. With a look alike. With a guy who makes fun of him. So it's the guy in the community who does an impression of him, makes fun of him. Yeah. But because this guy is in a coma.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Yeah. That is good. There was always someone in the community, who like, you know, at some mock-up night or whatever, end of year dinner will do his little bit where he impersonates somebody. I mean, I impersonate your brother George. You do, and it's very good.
Starting point is 00:34:50 In some ways, it's more like him than him. Yeah, George who edits the podcast. It's the podcast. It deserves our respect. It deserves our respect. And he's very kind to us, and he helped. He tacked our show, and we're doing it at the comedy festival. He didn't just tack it. He was complimentary about it on a consistent basis.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Oh yeah, that's true. Which is the ultimate tack. Absolutely. Not only did he manipulate the lights to make the show look good, he manipulated our emotions to make us feel good. That's true. And he still does to this day. But he can't. Connor sounds like this.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Hey, hey, go on guys, nice to hear from you. Hey, oh, fucking high triple J. Hi. It's uncanny. Yeah, thank you. Whatever that thing was, freemashing. Freemashing. I like the idea, I like the dawning realization
Starting point is 00:35:43 in the other freemasmasons that that's what we're doing. We've been played. Yeah. And it's like the one, the sketch that we came up with on the previous podcast where the the bully gets into the company and once he's in there, it's hard to get him out, especially once he's got power. Yeah. Any, it could also be played off as like an exposed A-type report about the head of say Scientology or something like that, where we reveal that they've been forcing people to come along and watch their comedy shows, you know, which again, there could be some questionable politics to this. Well, I think we know this so. All of these ideas take place in a universe where there's no politics.
Starting point is 00:36:29 And you can't compare anything to anything else, because there's nothing's an analogy. Yeah, well, especially if we don't make it seem like an exact analogy, that'll be easier to make the world resemble that world. Well, I mean... No, no. Sure, I could put the work into making it not seem like an analogy, or it could just send it in a universe where that doesn't happen. It's like your guy who did the world where there's no mass. Well this one, this is all in a world where you can't say that and people don't notice
Starting point is 00:36:54 if you did. All right, so you can't make some slack. No, I'm cutting it. I'm cutting it for slack. Cut me. It's just, no, just cut me. What's that? Yeah, no, I mean, just, yeah, that's
Starting point is 00:37:08 such a confronting thing to say on this. Cut me. Yeah, I think if you saw me open, it would really weird, yeah, seeing the different sides of where. Did you just, did I tell you about the time I saw it inside my hand? You saw you could do it. More or less, yeah. I think I probably told you, I probably told the podcast about this. How much you? Well, last episode we were talking about the terrible bits of the body.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Another terrible bit of the body is the bit between the thumb and the forefinger. Oh yeah. That flappy bit there. So I once got a, I'm sorry if I already told this, I got a craft knife. It's like a made my mind by me one. Right?
Starting point is 00:37:46 Basically, like it's scalpel. Yeah, and then you use it. So it was a craft knife. And then you cut it. You can't take it up to a med bedroom. It was like, I want to do something with this craft knife. What can I do? And I got a candle, had a candle.
Starting point is 00:37:56 So I just started chopping up the candle with a craft knife. But I was doing it holding it in my hand and cutting towards my hand. I stabbed down into that flappy bit of skin, right? The full depth of the blade of this craft knife, which was like probably about two centimeters long blade, right? Down into there. And I had my hand, I went, ah, open up my hand. And when you stretch it out like that, obviously your skin's all stretched, so it doesn't look like much of a hole because it was all stretch and all tight. And then I closed my fist and it just opened up
Starting point is 00:38:32 like a mouth and there was like a hole into my hand. I remember seeing inside my hand, looking down to this red, fleshy, blood hole. In there, and I just screamed at the house down. Everyone down says, new I'd got this craft knife. I'd had it for about three minutes, probably. And like, you know, there was a little,
Starting point is 00:38:56 would have just shared a look of like, oh, here we go. I wonder which part of himself he's stabbed with the craft knife. Take a while, just take bets, or whatever, get a book gone. Yeah. Anyway, it was my hand. Do you think at that time, if you would open the mouth, the sort of the mouth between you and the thumb and the
Starting point is 00:39:17 and popped a cool mint in there? No, I mean, I wouldn't have. That was about that sign. Size of a cool mint. But I was thinking, what about if you put, you know, one of those windows you have at the Size of a cool man. But I was thinking, what about if you put, you know, like one of those windows, you have at the bottom of boats. Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Yeah, but in your hand, like in a cut. Glass. Like that. So kind of like the holes that you put in your ear, but they're just little glass windows to the inside of your body. Yes. I mean, that's something we don't do.
Starting point is 00:39:42 It'd be called like aquariuming or something like that. Yeah, fishbowling. Fishbowling. If you could get rid of like a lot of that front of your gut and just put in a pan of glass. This is absolutely a thing. This will get this technology. We will get this technology and we'll find a way
Starting point is 00:40:00 to interface flesh neatly in like a way, a non-toxic, non-rejectable way, flesh with a transparent, whatever it is, sheet or window or something. And it'll be, you'll be able to look inside people. I have absolutely no doubt that that will occur. Do you think in your lifetime? In my lifetime. You'll lay down with someone who has that and they'll take off their shirt and you'll be looking at their breasts.
Starting point is 00:40:30 But there'll be no breasts. They'll just be two sort of like paperweight glass domes. Like a snag live? I guess they can be snow gloves, but you can see behind the beautiful wintery scene on the ground. You can see the rib cage and maybe there may be some moving red from their heart behind it. Now let's say there's two parts, this hypothetical, isn't it? Because there's the one about the body horror and about the flesh windows. And then there's the other one where I'm having an affair with someone who isn't my wife. the body horror and about the flesh windows.
Starting point is 00:41:05 And then there's the other one where I'm having an affair with someone who isn't my wife. I could have been your wife, but I didn't want to say I'm not talking about your wife. I mean, that seems like a horrible thing to do. You know, she might make that choice, I guess, at some point in the future. And would you support her? Of course. But would you try to talk her out of it if she started saying? Of course. I'm in questioningly. That's what she wants.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Well, then I will support her. I know, but then why are you trying to talk her out of it? LSD, I've got to do something. I've got to. I know, but it's perfectly safe. It's actually, it's so safe doctors are trying to not have to do it, because it's... So safe doctors are recommending it. Look, it's exactly the same to not do it as it is to do it.
Starting point is 00:41:57 That's exactly how safe it is. But also, you'll have a little window you'll be able to look at it and see if anything's going wrong. So it might make it quicker in the future for us to diagnose things like that. You could get in, you could operate on the heartway quicker because you just take out the glow, the snow globe. Oh, yep. Unscrew it.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Just unscrew it. Yeah, in there, we can, that's interesting. You know, like it's a preemptive thing. Like when they sew up a wound, they always sew it up with double knots. Why not sew it up with a bow? Yeah, that way. You could, you could have a bow blade. You could have a bow blade. with a bow? That way. You could even do it again. Or put a zipper in.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Zipper. I like that. Maybe some Velcro. Velcro. Yes. Magnets, clip, press studs. Oh, press. Thumbs will be good. Yeah. Because then you could strip. You could rip it out of it. I mean, the second skin would be good like that in that way. Do we have some three words from a listener? We do have three words from a listener.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Andy, you're going to be really challenged by this one. I'm challenged every day by everything that you say. Great, Andy. And I appreciate you continuing to have me around you. I'd love to. Great. The person who donated the words today is called Will. Thank you, Will.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Thank you, Will. Thank you. I think he mostly just goes by the three letters. W-I-L. W-I-L. Yep. I think maybe sometimes if you go deeper into the Patreon app, it shows you people's full name. I don't think we should reveal that.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I don't want to reveal that at the moment. And also I haven't done it right now in my phone's on flight mode while we're recording. That's very good of you. But well, you know who you are, especially and if you don't know. This is going to give it a one. These three words are going to give it a one. Here's his three words that you prepared. Alloster,
Starting point is 00:43:44 Tromble, Fertile. Oh wow! Okay. The people are trying to challenge us. Do you think that's what's happening? Well, I mean... Do you think this is a direct challenge? This is a direct challenge. This is a direct challenge to work capabilities, Andy. This is a real, I never realized, but this is a real ion chef kind of secret ingredient challenge, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:44:06 Absolutely. We're being, they're revealing the, what was the one that we had in the previous episode? Five sketch ideas? No, they revealed the ingredient. I think it was men's penises, I believe, was the ingredient that we had. The men's penis, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:21 The men's. The penis of the man. Yeah. I think maybe the man's penis would be easier than say like potato. If you had the secret ingredient was like potato. And you like make of like a three course gourmet dish using the main ingredient potato, you're being like,
Starting point is 00:44:41 all right, whatever else. Oh, maybe. Maybe I could get something together. I mean, what are the things that you can do with potato? Only any color, may I read? Chips. Chips mashed roasted. Baked.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Baked. I mean, that's what roasted. And then there's crisps as well. And you can make that potato foam. Alistair. Anyway, this isn't the point. The point is we're being given you as a comedy premise. Would you say that there is anything funny about you, Alistair?
Starting point is 00:45:08 Well, Eddie, it's not necessarily me. Not necessarily me, it's my three words. Also, would it be fair to take issue with this because Tromblay Burtreux is hyphenated, making that really only one word? But I would say see the most two separate words with a little trailer bar in between. Right. So they're cooperating. Yeah. They're linked. But they're still
Starting point is 00:45:30 independent. Yeah. Right. So it's like, it's kind of like you and me. Yeah. Would you say that we're not eligible to be suggesting? I mean, I regard more of this as like, you know, two separate people, but then like handcuffs. Like we sort of trapped together. Yeah. Like we're fleeing, I don't know, irrelevance. Yeah. Great. Or... But basically because we're stuck together at the wrist, we do have to, we have to work together. I hope you don't regard it this way, but I think we've probably chosen our last comedy pairing for life. Really? There's a chance. I mean, it depends on how young one of us dies. I guess. But like-
Starting point is 00:46:08 And I haven't had my moles checked. There was a point somewhere along the line where we moved from being two people who worked together sometimes to you and me. This is it. People have a risk. This is it. The risk is a pair. You and me, this is it. People hire us. This is it. People hire us as a pair. Yeah. And I think that definitely increases our chances of getting hired more.
Starting point is 00:46:30 You think so? I guess we're like some sticky tape that's now sticky on both sides. Yeah, somehow gaining sticky. We're more likely to get stuck to things. I don't know if any of this is true, but look. I think that there is a chance that we've made that. Yeah. So not. It wasn't like a conscious decision in any way. I would make the decision again. I want you to know, Alistair, or I would let it be made. I
Starting point is 00:46:53 would let this unconscious decision be made for me once again. I would let this inevitability take take place as I do with so many inevitabilities. All of them. Yeah. Anyway, there you go. Did that make you uncomfortable? I didn't make you comfortable. I know I feel more certain in my future that there's going to be. I guess I started thinking about death a little bit because I was thinking about the idea of the last comedy pairing.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I think maybe the word of the last comedy pairing. They made me the word last made me feel weird. And it made me go like, what if we just do a little project off on the side? That was my way of saying, let's do that if you try and leave. Yeah. I'm going to kill you. I think it's better if you just spell it out like that. And me and me.
Starting point is 00:47:42 You're going to kill you too. Yeah. What about our family? I'm going to beat you to. You're gonna kill you too. Yeah. What about our families? I mean, I'm gonna beat you to death with me. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm gonna lash my legs to a firm rigid pole, and then I'm gonna swing my waist.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Oh, right? Wait, just a middle bone? Just a middle bone? Up a body, yeah. And I'm gonna use my upper body as like a battering weapon, a bludge. I'm gonna bludge upper body as like a battering weapon, a bludge. I'm gonna bludge in you to death with myself. I'm amazed that you chose to hit me with your top part rather than your legs.
Starting point is 00:48:13 I guess it's more intimate. I mean, like I would probably cut off my legs. Yes. And then tie the two feet and ankles together. Yes. I put my upper torso in a wheelchair and then come the two feet and ankles together. Yes. I sort of put my upper torso in a wheelchair and then come at you,
Starting point is 00:48:29 or like a mobility screen and then swing the meaty parts of my legs at you with my hands. But I'd probably have to be like really anchored into this chair. It's like, it's the worst possible version of that riddle that's where somebody gets stabbed and you, like the revelation is that they got stabbed with a knife made out of ice, right? It's that, but turns out he beat him to death with his own legs, which he'd lashed together and wheeled up to him in a wheelchair.
Starting point is 00:49:03 That's why we couldn't find the murder weapon. He was like, he'd strapped his legs to a pole, and then bent over really hard onto him, too. Nobody uses bed-niggers or weapons. You gotta think about every hinge in the body creates two potential weapons, right? The one above the hinge and the one below the hinge. Right? Normally we use the hinge of the waist to do fly kicks, right? Or like you know, just kicks, just big kicks, roundhouse kicks,
Starting point is 00:49:40 that sort of thing. But there's two ends to that hinged lever. And you'd be a fool to overlook the top end of the hinged lever. Absolutely. The bending over. Yeah. Yeah. Or the sitting up. Yeah. Because then you could hit from laying down into sitting up. Yeah. If somebody was, let's say, trying to check if you are still breathing. You do the quickest sit-up you've ever done. Yeah. Smash them with your entire upper body. Like, I'm going to write this down as a sketch. Yeah, I could be something in it. Would you allow me to classify this as a sketch inspired by the name Alistair Tronblade? I don't think so. I would argue that because we started from that as the
Starting point is 00:50:35 jumping off point, that this falls under the categorization of Alistair Tronblay Virtual Sketch. And I, if it was me with my name, I'd be on it. I know, but I would have a sketch in my name. I would love to tackle this one straight on just to see. Sure, okay, it's very vain. All right, well I know, but I think somebody's challenged us and we shouldn't be trying to go through some obtuse way. Back door, okay. So it's just gonna be about the words through some obtuse way. Back door. Okay, so it's just going to be about the words,
Starting point is 00:51:06 Alistair, Tron Blayburt. Yeah. Blay, you know, Tron Blay. That makes me think of blade of grass for some reason. Hall, I didn't realize my name has the word hall in it. Burke Hall. Burke. Alistair, all is there. All is there. Air, it. Burke haul? Burke. Alice, there, all is there.
Starting point is 00:51:26 All is there? Air, it isn't an air as well. Alast. The air. Alast the air. Mm. You know, and that could sounds like somebody morning the fate of our atmosphere.
Starting point is 00:51:40 You know, alas. The air. Alast is something you say when. When you're sad about it. All right. I thought it was like, oh, finally, alas. Yeah. Because alas is something you say when... When you're sad about that. Oh right, I was like, oh finally alas! No, that's at last. No, I know, I know that's... I thought that was atlas.
Starting point is 00:51:53 No, that's a big planet. Um, uh, yeah. I mean, the hyphenated nature of the surname I realize the hyphen hasn't been provided and for me to focus on the hyphen, the only thing that isn't part of the three words is a little. Well, I think maybe he had it. He had it. Sure.
Starting point is 00:52:12 I want to know, you know, because this is a thing that people talk about a lot, or you know, what happens to the next generation after the hyphenation has occurred, right? So you, if you've opted, you've got a child. Has your partner surname? Yeah. And it's a good surname. Thanks. Yeah, we went to the next level because I thought you can't triple it up.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Well, that's the thing, isn't it? I wonder if there's a comedy angle in that, in the like, you know, in the, what do you do? Absolutely. Well, okay, so it's a couple who are going to see a naming consultant. A name therapist. A name therapist. Yeah. And they're giving them their options for what they're going to do.
Starting point is 00:53:02 How they can approach this. Yeah. I reckon they both have hyphenated surnames ones are tomlay birchall yeah one's a millroy mafus that's the hyphenated surname of my children yeah great and this is nice sounds like you or one of your brothers is going to marry one of my kids and then have children. So I mean good luck to them. Very good. Or maybe me. Yes. Or you. Yeah. Good luck to you. I mean it would take a lot. Take a look. I mean, I mean, you didn't say this was gonna be my last comedy partnership.
Starting point is 00:53:50 There's a chance I made me push down at the company scene. Can you do it? Because of, anyway, Andy. I'm holding it. I'm holding it. I'm just,
Starting point is 00:53:59 I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, all the options. Do you just take every alternate letter of the names? Do you hyphenate one half and one half? Do you take the tops of the letters and then the bottoms of the other letters? Because we can cut things in any direction. Basically what you can do is you can take the two names and you can make an
Starting point is 00:54:14 amalgam of both names and then you hyphenate the two amalgams. So for example me, Trumblay virtual could be burlay. Burleigh, and I'm Milro Matthews, that would be Millius. Millius, they say. Burleigh Millius, hilarious. Burleigh Millius. Actually, it doesn't stand all that bad. And I think this way you're gonna get much more, by that cross-creation, like it's because it's a much more
Starting point is 00:54:42 evolutionary and genetic approach to combine the DNA of the two names like that. It's true. It also creates new unique names, which allows us to get better Twitter handles. That's true, yeah. And the name, maybe after they talk about the different ways that you could join the names, they could say, maybe you could just look at the names and see a word that you feel inspired by. Yeah, word association. Yeah. What we can do is we can write both the names down on
Starting point is 00:55:10 pieces of paper, feed them to a goat. Kill the goat. And the sound that the goat makes when it dies could be the name of the last name of your child. Yeah death rattle of a goat death rattle of a goat method I think that's a sketch. Yeah I think you know It's gonna come down to what we do with an Alistair as many of the sketches do Really come down, but I think that if we've proven anything what about comedy festival show? It's that given if we've proven anything, what about comedy festivals show, it's that given 600 sketch ideas, we're able of turning at least 10 of those into something watchable. Yeah, there you go. And there was some that we dropped that maybe we dropped because they were
Starting point is 00:55:56 just not quite ready yet. Yeah, yeah, we could pick them up again. Pick them up. Resurrect them. Andy, we're going to take us through the sketch ideas for us today. Take us through the forest. Just the sketch ideas, I'll let's do it. Blasting earth to the edge of the Goldilocks zone so that we can age slower and fix climate change. It's mostly about, for me, it's mostly about the aging slower thing because the years will be longer.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Yeah. Yeah. And so it makes everybody happier. Yeah. To just it makes everybody happier. To just like, oh, I'm so glad I'm not, I might not even make it to 40. So it's not about climate change as a climate change. I mean, I think that's a nice side.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Bonus. Bonus, yeah. But for me, it's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- It's people- proving that we are masters of all, you know. We're masters of all things, yeah. And also we could then use our planet like that, like a ship, and we could go around the galaxy and fight crime. I think it could also be funny if this was done by someone for an even more mundane purpose, you know, like to seek more, get more time for an assignment or something.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And assignment where the deadline had been given in years rather than in days, four weeks. Yeah. Sure. I mean, like, I, I definitely thought that to make it feel like your aging slower was a very, very pretty mundane, quite flimsy reason. I think I can come up with something flimsy. We got the president with the lucky egg. So happy about that.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Today I'm glad I hope this isn't just my last comedy pairing. I hope this is my last comedy day. Yeah, great. We got trying to replace the president of Alliance Club, who's in a coma with a guy who makes an impression of him in town To convince the members of the club that everything is okay. Yeah, I think what's great about that is that we've taken a high concept movie Dave and we've made it more mundane Yeah, and I think there's a fertile area of content to be made from something like that. I mean, if it was a group of blind people, and it was just a guy who could do the voice,
Starting point is 00:58:15 maybe easier for them to believe it. Great. And then they'd be like, let me touch your face. I think also, in a personator who just does the texture of somebody, all the smell. I mean, you get six guys. Six guys, one who does the smell, one who does this texture, one who can do his voice. It's a full experience. It's the full.
Starting point is 00:58:42 They'll never feel like they're without a leader. Yep. Next thing, Alistair, what else we got on that list? You got that? Join the freemasons to open up comedy rooms. This is such a good idea. I mean, I feel like I've genuinely just thought about this. Like you drive past us, not just freemasons,
Starting point is 00:59:00 seniors, centers. I drive past those all the time. I'm like, you could run a night there. Lithuanian clubs? Yes. Like all those kind of weird European countries that have their own house. We European countries, yes. You know, like smaller countries that are weird, are not like important on a global scale, but their communities are strong and they've opened up a house that they can go to when they want to have a, like a one of their weird alcohol. We get in there like a virus and open up comedy room. And there were people don't really get what we're talking about.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Yeah. I mean, that's just comedy, isn't it? It's great. Glass window into the flesh. I mean, this is, you know, I guess we're just exploring the this extent of this new technology that we've developed. I haven't really built much of a sketch around this yet. My relationships broken down apparently.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Well, not necessarily. Not necessarily. Maybe it's somewhat it had broken down, but then when they came back to you, they had these things. It was like, you know, they underwent a change while they were gone. And it was in the change that they realized that they liked what the, you guys used to have. That's true. And then the thing that you like is- When they could look into their heart, literally,
Starting point is 01:00:32 yeah, they knew what they- Through the, through the snow globe in their chest. Sorry about this, Cali. Two guys using their bottom and top halves to attack each other. And then we'd finally know what would win the bottom half of the top half. Exactly. What's better? What's better?
Starting point is 01:00:51 And then we get the name therapies, a therapist for double banger last names. And what you can do when both parents have a double banger last name. Double banger last name, double banger last name, double banger, double banger, double banger last name. Double gang of games, so double gamagrangers, gamadames, dimadames, dimadames, dimadames, dimadames, dimadames. last name double bang a last name double bring a double bang a double but an last name double gang a game show double gamma grand go gamma dam a dim a dim dam a dim dam a dim a dim a shad did you say the I'm a dina jad yeah former president of the run yeah thank you so much for listening to the
Starting point is 01:01:18 podcast to in the think tank we like it when you do that and if you want to review a song iTunes that would be nice somebody reviewed us from Canada said we were lovely Well, that's really nice. I want you to know that you are lovely and that we all think that you guys are lovely Especially when you leave those reviews on the thing You can find us on Twitter. We're at two in tank. I'm at stupid old Andy I'm at Alistair TB and we're on Facebook and we're on Patreon. If you want to support some Patreon, you can give us three words.
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