Two In The Think Tank - 133 - "YOU'RE WELCOME DOT COM"

Episode Date: May 29, 2018

No Thank You, Heist Lottery, Mount Doom PLC, Positive Landmine, War Movie Room. Party (Ending) DrugsYou can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereFamily sized thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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And I don't, I no longer say thank you. I just, I just go straight to your welcome. Yeah, well, I mean, that's the option. I think, I think instead of your welcome, because your welcome has become quite a common, let's say gag for this, the fact that Maui sings it in Moana, I feel has made that joke peak.

Yeah, yeah. So what about instead of thank you, or your welcome, we just give people, when we do something nice for people, Yeah, yeah, so what about instead of thank you or you're welcome? We just give people when we give do something nice for people we say congratulations How about this what about when somebody does something nice for us? We say that will be five bucks So that's nice. Yeah, you know, we're taking it. We're making it again instead of yeah So as if like because doing something nice feels good. Correct.

They should have to pay for that privilege. Yeah, yeah. Okay, it's like the website Fiverr, right? But instead of you offering people five bucks to do some small task for you, you go on there because you want five bucks, and there's just a list of people who are... Wanna do something nice to do. Wanna do something nice?

Wanna get a good feeling? And you can just select one of them, 10 or 20 of them. There is, there is. And it'll be something small, doesn't take up too much of their time. So, not like. So they can get that good feeling. All it does is cost them five bucks and it's a little bit of work or whatever it is.

Yeah, okay. So like, obviously, I don't think, I think off the bat we have to ban anything sexual on this website. Of course. I just, I just, I just want this to be a family website. Yeah. This is a family website. For a good decent people. Could it be a Christian website? Because Christians? Absolutely. They definitely get a good feeling from doing good things.

That's right, yeah. Because they feel like they're doing God's work. Yes, and they know they're going to heaven. That's right, yeah. And knowing that they're doing God's work. Yes, and they know they're going to heaven. That's right, yeah. And knowing that they're paying for it also makes it feel like they can't even feel guilty about having done something nice for someone because they've also paid for it,

unless that cheapens it. Even though it actually makes it... I think it's the opposite of expensive. It definitely makes it more expensive, but it depends on their feelings. Does it start to take on a feeling of prostitution, doing nice things for people in exchange for money? One of the problems with cheap things is that the word cheap sound cheap. It sounds like a cheap word. I think the word cheap should be something that sounds more expensive. Like Rolls Royce? Exactly. Oh, this is very Rolls Royce. Extra-glorious. Yeah, great. So these, oh bananas are extra-glorious at the moment. Yeah, great. So these, oh, bananas are extra glorious at the moment.

Yeah. See, now I'm going to go out and buy some. Because I also know they're cheap and they sound great. Anyway, I think the site that allows well-meaning people to pay to do something nice for you is a sketch. Now, this is a more of a business idea at the moment than it is a sketch. Now, this is a more of a business idea at the moment than is a sketch. I know, not at all. No.

No, no, no, I couldn't agree more, less. I couldn't agree more with someone who disagrees with you, Alistair. I couldn't agree more with myself taking the opposite position, which is that all we need to do is see somebody looking a bit down or feeling it a bit of a loose end, and then they get advice from a friend or they see an ad that causes them to log onto their site, and has all these things and they scroll through it and they find something. God, I'm looking forward to that scrolling scene. That sounds like television dynamite. That's like television dynamite.

What do we see? Do we see the screen? Do we see the lights reflected in their eyeballs? I mean, there are so, literally so many options. It's a very old line. It's a very old line. It's a very old line. It's a very old line. It's a very old line. We see scrolling from the point of view of us looking at the screen,

they're looking at the screen. But if we could also see their face and see the scrolling happening in the reflection in their eye maybe a split screen effect. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and maybe we zoom in a little bit and then we can see their face Reflected in the reflection in their eyeballs for layers and then also maybe and this would be really I mean this is gonna get people interested we get something that's from the Perspective of the point of view shot of one of the items, the icons on the screen, scrolling up, so maybe the camera goes up. And we were like, oh wow, now it's like where, who's watching the whatcher. That's right, but then you can also see, you know, the Christians.

Oh, yeah, the touch. Touch upon the item, but then pass it by, you know, just like it's nothing because that's what scrolling is. That's what scrolling is. But also the eye does those micro movements. So maybe, because a point of view shot isn't really a point of view shot. The point of view shot is like a fixed shot, right?

That represents the computational averaging that the brain does of a series of micro movements that represents the computational averaging that the brain does of a series of micro movements of two separate pupils, assuming you've got two eyes, but what I wanna see. Or one eye with two people. As a real. Some people have those. Yeah, it's wild.

What I wanna see is a real point of view shot, which is just like skittish movement of the camera all over the place, almost impossible to follow. That's reality of perception. Yeah, and well, that's good. I want that. Should this be? And all of this is in there on a split screen.

What's the website called, Christian Paterdoon Good? It's called You're Welcome. You're welcome. Congratulations. Congratulations. You're welcome.com. Yeah. It's called nothingsexual.com. Familywebsite.com. Well, I think that's maybe this is it. Maybe we don't need, because at the moment we've got the dark web,

but also the regular web is already pretty filthy. And we also got banana web between. And we also got banana web, which is an exclusively banana-related internet that's separate in every way, has its own, like there's banana web even having its own infrastructure like own servers. Absolutely.

Server farms and yeah, it would have to be in some, you know, obviously near the equator, somewhere where you can grow bananas. Right. This is the problem because normally they keep server farms in the cooler climate because it uses less cooling in the Icelanders, but you're keeping them all the quieter. Yeah. We're in a tricky and a sort of very human hardware ourselves that we have to keep the service so close to the banana farms.

None of our servers are less than a hundred meters from bananas. That's one of our guaranteed. Yeah. I guess you could sort of keep them in a banana cool room. Right. Right. Because bananas, you don't want them to ripen too early. So you gotta keep them probably in some kind of banana cool room. Banana cool room. Even though they're a tropical fruit,

and obviously you don't keep them in the fridge at home. So does that mean that these banana cool rooms are in tropical areas? It's a shame isn't it? You almost want the banana cool rooms to be in Iceland. Island. Yeah. But then you like that. Yeah. But then you've got a transport.

Anyway, look, we're getting off. Try. I'm just saying, they're near fresh bananas. Yeah. I don't know what kind of fresh fruit and vegetables Icelandic people eat. Seal? Seal.

That's a great fresh fruit and vegetable. Oh. Pickled seal. Pickled seal. Pickled seal, feel like. Pickled seal. Like that's got to be the closest you can get to an opposite of a fresh fruit or vegetable. Yeah, especially eating it on a toothpick.

I don't know why that just feels how like you would eat pickled seal. Just to get a plate of them. Yeah. And they've all got a bit of. They've got each one's got a bit of blubber on it. Oh, absolutely. You would look at it and you would just see skin, and fat, then got a bit of chunks. They've got each one's got a bit of blubber on it. Oh, absolutely. You would look at it and you would just see skin and fat, then a little bit of meat, like

that. It's mostly fat though. And it's on a skewer. And it's not on a skewer, like a toothpick. A skewer. Which is sort of just a daddy toothpick. Daddy toothpick. Yeah.

Yeah, wow. Picks are a film about skewers about Scuars to Pixar. Yeah Thank you for finding a great way out of that That's a great way out. Oh So the Icelandic people a lot of them believe in fairies. Did they really well? Apparently there's a high population of people there that believe in fairies. That's fascinating. Yeah. Yeah.

Because the Icelandians, I personally regard them as being a master race. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're Elven. They're Elven in some way. They definitely have forged something in the heat of mount something. I'm not saying what or which, but yeah. It could be just the brackets for like a server cabinet. Yeah. That's where they have a lot of those things. They min-mine a lot of Bitcoin.

a lot of those things, they min-min-a-lot of Bitcoin. Yes, they did. Because of their cheap, geo-thermal energy. Right, right, is that the case? Yeah, it's good. I guess also because they're in a cold climate, they got those cold severums. Can a severum be too cold? Probably not.

I wonder, what if you keep it so cold, all the computers, wires become super wires become super conductors and then you Mind too many bitcoins and then you what if you actually say value all Bitcoin? Yeah, I mean I suppose you could just start mining another crypto currency. You just stop. Yeah But like what if you know look this is definitely not in any way viable. But you know, you're just, you overcool your computer to the point where the processing speed just speeds up because it becomes super conductive. There's no resistance whatsoever.

The processing speed increased to the point where you actually break the, the break encryption. Wow. Like that. And then you go, oh no, kept my computer to you called. Now I'll break encryption. Now I solved the meaning of existence. Do you think that would do that? Maybe.

Because all it is is just multiplying. It's just mulls sums. Is it just two? I think it's just two prime numbers. That's all it is. I don't actually know I think it's just two prime numbers. That's all it is. I don't actually know. I don't know anything about Bitcoin.

No, but like encryption. In encryption? I don't know anything about encryption. I think all it is, right, is that they've multiple, look, and this could be an oversimplified case. This is oversimplification, is that they've multiplied two prime numbers together and you're just doing mathematical work to figure out which one if you want to break it. But there's so many possibilities. And the

numbers are so big. And the numbers are so big that it just takes too much processing power that would take way too much time to be able to do it unless you're really lucky. Yes. And you just get it first go. I had. Because what are the chances? I mean, it's like playing a lottery.

I'm sure there's occasionally a chance that you could just randomly start on the right one. I guess, yeah, I mean, it is a form of lottery. And could we run this as a service? Do you think, like, because banks use encryption, right, to protect all their money. Now, but, okay, okay, so these are the rules, right? That if you leave something lying around in the street, it's not stealing if somebody takes it, right?

Probably, yeah. Even though, in a way there are barriers to taking that thing. For example, you have to take several steps to get to it, right? It's just the barriers are really small, okay? So, now a bank, they don't leave the money lying around in the street, but they do just put it behind some barriers, which is encryption. Right? So, in a sense, if you can very easily break that encryption, it might as well be lying around in the street. A bank is on a street? It has to be.

The money, which is in a computer, is very close to the edge of the bank, which is very close to the street. So all I'm saying is that if you can very easily break the encryption, then it's not stealing to take the money. Now, let's create a lottery, which is called bank heist.

Yeah, great. Lotta. Bank heist, lotta. And everybody just picks two prime numbers. And every week, we multiply them together and we just see if we can get some money out of a bank. And if you pick the right prime numbers, I mean, it's one of the easier lotteries.

Just two numbers is all you got to get. Yeah, I mean, they're quite big numbers. So there's it's one of the easier lotteries. Just two numbers is all you gotta get. So, numbers, yeah, I mean, they're quite big numbers. So, there's a lot of digits involved. Yeah, so the piece of paper you gotta print out. Two and seven. Yeah, yeah. It's gotta be a big piece of paper that you gotta print out.

Sure. They've gotta have a tiny font. Yeah, and when you go to the news agents, yeah. To tell them your numbers for the week, it takes a while. The people behind you in the queue is you read out your 700 digit prime number. I guess and the person then has to read it back to confirm that they've got the right one. I guess you could, you go, this is so you go, I chose that

number because it's the birthday of 7,,000 people I know jammed together. Yeah. Which happens to be a prime number. Just happens. I mean, you have to rearrange it in such a way. Maybe, I don't know. You'd need a prime number that has a lot of 2,080 somethings.

But look, I think that is that sketch in there? Yeah. It's a little complicated in the setup, but if we can simplify that down, boy, boy, now I want to go back to forging server mounting brackets in the fires of Mount Doom. Yeah. Because what I mentioned, because, all right, Sauron, Lord of the Rings, Sauron, Big Evil Guy, Big Eye, right? Is he just an eye? Or is it that we can only see his eye? I think the eye is the manifestation

of the will of his spirit or something. He doesn't, I don't think he has a physical form. He did he die? He died. Okay. Yeah. But now he's dead. Go to die and live on though, through your eye. School. Yeah, it's big score. They forged the rings in the fire at Mount Doom. Yeah. Right. And that's the last we hear of things being forged in the fires of Mount Doom. Yeah. But once you've set up that manufacturing

infrastructure, after a while, and you're forged rings for a while, right? But then I'm pretty sure you've sold one to this, you know, the seven master races or whatever. Yeah. I've got to stop saying master races. The seven races. Then you've flooded the market, right? But you've got all these employees that you mount Doom forge, right? You've got to continue to keep them employed. You've got to look for other markets. So what do you start approaching next?

Well, now you're forging magical bracelets. Now you're forging magical gauntlets, right? And then shin pads. Down the track, you've sold up all of that stuff. And much like any corporation that finds I've got this infrastructure, finds that market conditions are changing eventually, you're forging brackets. You know, you've gotging brackets, you know. Exactly, you're right. You've got the molten, whatever's.

It's bound to happen. And because, and once you've sort of set it up and you've made your big money off of those things that it was originally intended to, the infrastructure that you set up, you know, a lot of the molds and a lot of the stuff, you know, like the platforms, so that you can lower things

into the mountain and things like that. That's paid for itself. So now it's easier to do, so cheaper, more mass-produced products. You pay down your capital investment. Yeah, and initially you thought you were just hiring these dwarves on a short-term contract.

Yes. Like that. But then you realize, oh, well, there's something to this. And actually, we're all kind of working like a like a well oiled machine. Well, machine. And it's becoming a bit of a family as well. You know, we all get along. Everybody knows your name. You're the Dark Lord Sauron. Yeah. And sure you're the boss, but you're also their friend. Well, it's possible that Sauron only had this, you know, he was just a designer with a short, you know, like a short order, you know, like a big dream and just a designer with a short order.

I think Dreaming is just a short order of things, but the initial capital costs to set all this up. And then I think I wasn't sure if he sold those rings or whether he gave them his gifts, but then he thought, well, hey, I've already done all this. Let's make this thing more viable. And it gets him some other designers. You go, what do you guys,

anybody want to do something? I want to make some of those. Law and ornaments. anybody wanna do something? I wanna make some of those ornaments. Law ornaments. Yeah, the law and ornaments. I wanna make some of those helmets that make you look like you're a skull. Yeah. And then, do you think then down the track,

you know, 20, 30 years, Saron, he's coming into the office every day. He's putting on a bit of weight, he's putting on the tie, he's wearing the shirt. If you think he ever stares into the fire's amount, doom, and just wonders why he got into this business in the first place, like, you know, he came in with a dream which was to control all the people of Middle-earth, right, under his violent reign of terror.

But now, you know, he finds that he's just facilitating other people's projects. Yeah. And, I mean, sure there's satisfaction in it, but I don't wonder if he sort of wants to get back to what middle worthwhile. Well, initially it was his passion project. Yeah. But then over time, it became his job.

And so now that it's his job, he doesn't have anything to do in his free time. Right. And it's consumed that. It's consumed that. And obviously there's no TV at that kind of time. I mean, I guess you can catch a wizard and get him to sort of do some sort of illusion. Yeah. You know, some sort of thing to look at. Yeah.

But, you know, you think that'd be entertainment in sort of in the people that you've enslaved, but maybe, you know, I suppose even that gets boring after a while or. Supposed. And maybe, you know, maybe the whole reason that you want to enslave everybody, all of the master races, is that you actually had a vision for a better society. And you thought this way we can keep everybody safer

than the way it was, which was probably all these warring clans. So what happens now? He sells out Mount Doom PLC to Google, and he starts another startup. Hmm, right? It goes into his own thing. And this start, yeah, and this time, you know,

he gets a second chance that it all, but maybe the industry's moved on, he's just struggling. But like what is he going back into rings, going back into power, power brokering? Yeah. Because I guess that's kind of what he was doing right? He was like, all right, let's see if we can keep these people under control by bribing the you know, some big guy. But everything comes with the you know with the attachments. Everything's strings attached. Yeah, it's like Adobe these days with their sign up. That's right. The monthly fee. I think that's a thing, right?

Yeah, so it's the corporate evolution of sound's evil empire. Because also, between when the rings are forged and when all this destruction happens, there's hundreds, if not thousands of years, I think, like the story of the Lord of the rings and the original creation of the rings, all this stuff is happening in between. This could all just slot into there. Absolutely. When he I mean, when he just becomes, you know, the head of marketing essentially, you know. Because I guess as soon as he's got everything

under his control, then that's all he's doing now. He's just selling his time, managing kind of the... You think he becomes a brand himself in a way. Yeah, yeah. What do you name on? It's almost like he needs another planet to go to another earth, you know, maybe top earth or bottom earth. Sorry?

Maybe top earth or bottom earth. Left earth and right earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Yeah, upper and down earth. Yeah. You made a little note on the side of the page of something there.

Did you have a...? I just wrote the word master racist So what? So a master racist would I guess be somebody who thinks that there exists one pure Form of humanity who are better than the rest of us and they're shit Yeah, right like if you if you who are better than the rest of us and they're shit. Yeah. Like if you, yeah, and you oppress them, right? Like if you agree with the some sort of theory

that there is a one, or that there's a kind of racist that is the best kind of racist. That is better above all other races. Yeah. So maybe like say the Clue Clux clan might think that they're master racists, as well as a master race. And that they're organized. They got to be able to keep their whites white. and that, you know, they're organized. You know, they got, be able to keep their whites white. Yeah.

You know, but maybe it's the way in which they hate. You know, they do that thing where you're not even allowed to touch the skin of another race. I think, yeah, I think they were like, you can't touch, you know. Look, I don't know. It's weird how they sort of like, you start out with this thing

and then you get into weird sort of magical rules. Like that's magic, isn't it? Is that some kind of magic thing? Like you must, at that point, believe that other people's skin has magical powers or yours does or for the two things to just... Yeah, yeah, I think once you're starting to think or yours does or for the two things to just... Yeah, I think once you're starting to think that you're getting filth on you or something like that,

that people's lesser raceness is transferring via the skin. You're sort of, you're, I mean, really, you're not giving your own race that good a name that you would sort of just ignore any kind of scientific ness to any of this stuff. I don't know. You know what? Let's not get the clicker off time. The Master Racer's idea doesn't necessarily have anything. I think they could be something there, but you know, we're threading our way through a mind field. What was the point of mind field? But we're threading our way through a minefield.

What was the point of minefield? Just a bit of land that people can't get past. I mean, I think you've summarized it pretty well. I think if you were pitching minefields to the heads of the army. Yeah. I mean, it's a horrible idea, because especially the part of it, like where it's like, and then at the end of the wall we come through and we pick them all up. Oh, no, no, no, no.

That would be, well, hugely dangerous. Well, it's kind of, I guess it's like, because rivers are kind of a, you know, a minefield for drownings. You're right. Because they're a bit of land that is hard to cross. And so a minefield is kind of just recreating a river. So a dry river. A dry river. It's a dry river where you can drown in explosions. I can't breathe

for all the explosions. I can't swim. Yeah. Because there's no water, add my legs and arms are off. Yeah, you got caught in a current of in a rip in my legs off. Yeah. Under a high or shrapnel. I think that yeah, great. What is there in minefields here? What about it's a you know it's somebody trying to we're trying to find a more positive minefield. Yes. Okay. Positive minefield is a really nice idea because once again, it's like Sauron. Yeah. Right. What we need, because this is the problem of the military industrial complex. Okay. They have a vested interest in war.

Right? Yeah. Because they have all these people employed. They have a vested interest in war, right? Because they have all these people employed, they have all these shareholders. There are people who have share our shareholders in like Halley Burton and stuff like that. And companies that create weapons and destruction and death. And those people need their dividends. And that is the problem is that, you know,

when we're not at war, they would probably prefer that we were so that those shareholders can get a bigger dividend. We just need something that those companies can do in times of peace that isn't just build up more stockpiles of weaponry. That's right. And we haven't, we haven't sort of put, there's no dollar value on love. And there's no much like, let's say, carbon in the atmosphere, you put a price on carbon. Yes. Then the carbon becomes part of the economy. And then by reducing the amount of carbon, then you can boil it up.

I think the peace mongers amongst us, they need to put their money where their mouth is and start putting in some big orders with these weapons companies to, for peace-related military hardware. Okay. And that's where your positive landmines come in. Now, what is the thing that you would love it if you stepped on it and it went off under your feet? Okay well the first thing that has come to my mind.

I mean, I love it, Elis. I was racking my brains to think of something that could come up from beneath you. Yeah. Well I think it would have to be kind of a you should step on it. It launches. It probably something grabs you around your toe. Oh, of course. Like a magic awesome. Yeah, like well something you know something more gentle, but it's just kind of a holding you in place so you don't walk away. Right. And then while this tall pole comes out holding a fruit hat and then curls over and drops the fruit hat on your head. Yeah. And I guess it probably starts some either Samba or Mamba or Chacha. Maybe a Ramba. Maybe a Chacha. Like that. I think maybe if it also laid one fruit

earring on you. Yes. You know, like I'm talking a clip on, it could be just a small, you know, like I'm talking a fridge magnet size banana or little bunch of purple grapes or you know ananas. I liked that it's only one earring as well because that implies one, one of two things. One, you've already had a great night and you've lost an earring. Yeah. Which is fantastic. Or two, that you've only got one earring, but you're almost a quest to find the other one to have a good time. Sort of like a Cinderella type one.

A Cinderella type scenario. So look, how are these things useful? Well, they just heightened the state of peace that we're in. Landmines heightened the state of war. They make people more tense, more scared, less able to move about freely. Whereas a fruit hat does the opposite of all of those things. That's right, it puts a spring in your step. It does. Yeah. I mean, essentially it's like attaching, that's another thing that these minds could do. They put springs under your feet. Well, yeah, because you jump for joy.

Yeah. Right? If a thing could go off under the defeat with no negative consequences. The only effect was to cause you to momentarily jump and unexpectedly jump for joy. Yeah, trampoline shoots. I think no one would begrudge that. Yeah, great. What about something that just brings out a thing that gives free polgo sticks? Sure.

It brings out a thing that gives free polgostics. Sure. Brings out a thing that gives free polgostics. I think the polgostic requires too much. It is, it's hard. From the person, like you have to engage with it. And I don't think that's the way the military, like, you know, the military doesn't operate by giving people knives in the hope that they'll then stab themselves to death.

Yeah, that's true. You're right. Yeah. It's, I guess that's the one down side of the, yeah. It's the one down side of the military. So look, I'm going to write positive landmines. Yeah. And yeah, and then I, out of what we recall that, because of minefield. Most other fields are positive. You know minefields problem. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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Mycomputercareer.edu. Probably one of the only few negative fields. Yeah, I guess you could be in the killing field. Oh yeah, that is a pretty bad. Magnetic field, I feel, is probably neutral. Yeah, magnetic field is sort of the Switzerland of fields. Yeah, but then we, you know, then we're into like fields of poppies, fields of lavender. Yeah, and fields of tulips.

Yeah, field of daffodils. Yeah, fields of children. Field, yeah. I guess you could have a field of children. And the field of architecture. Yeah, the field of biology, the field of baseball. Yeah, string theory. Well, I mean, that's good.

First string field, theory. Spring field. Yeah, all of that. I had another idea back when we were talking about Iceland and the fires of Mount Doom, something else crossed my mind field. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get it back. I feel like it might have had something to do with crocodiles, but yeah, I'm not going to get that.

Do you think the military ever experimented with pogostics? Because I mean, they've tried everything. They have. Yeah, they've tried training dolphins. They've trained dolphins. The Ukraine is still trying to get back their dolphins that were taken by Russia when they annexed Crimea, because they had them at the Crimean military marine base or whatever.

Yeah, they're still trying to like give us back our dolphins. They'll never work apparently. I think they said the dolphins have stopped eating. They've stopped allowing themselves to be trained. That's right. They're on hunger strike. Yeah. They've stopped eating, they've stopped allowing themselves to be trained. That's right, they're on hunger strike. Yeah. The loyalty of dolphins.

The fact that that exists, this is a genuine story that happened, makes me feel like one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse has an eye for potential movie deals. Or like, you know, one of the forces that is at play in the current global chaos is driving us towards compelling narratives that could be played out for comedy drama. Well, you know what, this is not so crazy. Okay. Because. Yeah. So, Russia is involved in

This whole Trump coming up thing. Yes, we'll all find out when when when all these sealed indictments get unsealed when with with When when Mueller's done, Julianne saying it's gonna be in September. I don't know why Giuliani knows right and I don't know why he's saying. Yeah, but Russia, right, is a, you know, a lot of the people, all the garricks and stuff like that, they've extracted money out of this country, and there's a dark pool of money, right? There's a dark pool of money that is hidden in all these tax havens and things like that.

All this dark money everywhere right now, they make shell companies so that shell companies can spend that money without it being linked back to the person who's spending it. Now, where a lot of this dark money is being invested in is things like films. Is this the thing that was related to PAKA? I think the RAPPAK. The RAPPAK had that I think somehow linked to... Did they have done money?

No, that was the Malaysian money. I think some of the Malaysian money is involved in the one MDB Malaysian money was somehow involved in rat pack and a few films and things like that. Apparently, there's like Saudi money involved in films and things like that. People don't talk, anyway.

And also, Russia is involved in that internet research agency whose whole point is to essentially silence very centric voices, centrist voices and make much louder the voices of extreme right and extreme left and things like that to kind of help destabilize so that crazier shit happens. Yes. Crazier shit happens so that storylines happen so that we can make better movies so that their dark money involved in movies can be, can get a grosser higher return. I think we're on to it. I think we've got something on us, dear.

I mean, I'm sorry. It was a big leave. I like to still that down and simplify it slightly. It's like we're saying that, you know, war is bad. War is terrible, right? Okay. But one of the, if there was, if we were to say that there was a positive thing that comes out of war, it's that we get quite a lot of compelling stories. Absolutely. And, you know, 20, 30 years down the track, there's a lot of Oscars to be had from telling those stories. I'm talking you done, Kirks. I'm talking you zero duck 30s. Or what have you? Yeah. Right. And so as the media marketplace gets more competitive and there's more competition at the box office and there's more pressure on these films to be successful, is it so crazy that movie studios would want to get involved at the military planning stage to ensure that the

maneuvers and the military decisions that we make are going to play into the stories that they're going to want to tell down the track. It would be insane for them not to. Exactly. Get involved. There's so much money at play. We think about Disney, Ryan, and we think about the budgets that they're spending on these films. They're too on these films. They're too big to fail. They can't afford to have a misstep. It's single films bringing in a billion, two billion dollars.

Yes. That, you know, if you invest 50, 150 million early on by making sure that you have advisers and people involved in the military. Yeah, that we have, you know, our solution to the situation in Iran. Call me crazy, but what if we got together a rag tag band of military veterans? Yeah, possible. One of them could be bald, hopefully a Bruce Willis type. Okay?

And I'm not trying to influence you or anything. You're the military, you do what you got to do. But is it too much to ask that he could have a compelling backstory? Exactly. A Jean-Claude Van Dam type. Yes. A Stephen Segal type. These guys who are still...

You know, they're still a lot of cachet. Yeah, a lot of cachet and still have the physical capabilities to at least hold a mini-gun. Yes. And to be perfect, five, 10 years down the track when we're telling this story to play the retired Army major sergeant. Exactly. Or at least, yeah, the retired one was coming back in. Yes, yes, right. I think that's the one problem with the US military and I apologize if this is controversial, but

they don't give enough of the military generals, many guns, and send them in to single-handedly bring down a whole government. When was the last time they tried that? Yeah, and the side. I feel like we threw that out. That used to be part of the plan, part of what made them great. I don't know what rank Rambo had. I feel like he's maybe the last guy to have done that.

And I'm not sure if he was an officer, I think he, or if he was even involved in the official military. He might have been freelance. Really? Yeah. I haven't seen actually that. All right, so this is the, I haven't seen any of the Rambo movies either.

Haven't seen any of the Rambo movies, haven't seen any of the Rocky movies. But fuck, I have heard, I have the tiger a lot of times and I am worse for it, all the worse. And tell you what, if anything were to drive me to murderous blood lust, it probably will be hearing that song again. Yeah. So that's our military planning. You know, you get a director in there at the war room at the planning table, right?

As they're pushing the little icons around the big map with that stick with the flat bit on the end. Looks like a tiny rake with no teeth. Yeah, I think they probably get those from the casinos to bring in chips. Yeah. But instead of pulling them and you're pushing them. You're pushing them. You're pushing them.

You're pushing chips, they're ships. Yeah. But other than that, it's the same. And instead of hundreds of dollars, it's thousands of lads you play. Exactly. And other than that. To be honest, the roles are essentially what's that mean, the thing interchangeable. Interchangeable, military.

We have the sitting at the table, we have Steven Spielberg, we have Christopher Nolan. And we have a crew PA. Catherine. Is that a crew PA? Or is that the card? Yeah, we have a crew. Oh, we could get a croopie, eh? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha on, you get the privilege and joy and the joy of sending in through words. And responsibility.

And responsibility. And it is a big responsibility. And thank you everybody who has been sending in words. We're trying to get as many out as we can. Today's words come from our good friend and listener, Kevin Ulysses, Packrad. Packrad, Packrad, Packrad, Packrad. Packrad. Yeah, now those aren't his three words,

but I would be happy. Man, yeah, we could do something like that. Kevin Ulysses, Packrad, Packrad. Packrad, Packrad. I think, you know, mispronouncing a surname could be some people don't like that. But overpronouncing it again and again, nobody could be. I feel like we should even just try to come up with sketch with his name

and then do his three words after. I mean, pack rad. Yeah. Just the idea of somehow some kind of backpack-related radicalness. You know. Yeah, you know, you have a, you have a, like, what does that go back? So, go back, like, if something bad happens, if you're expecting a, like, an earthquake, or like, not expecting an earthquake, but if an earthquake is a possibility, you have,

I think, a go back, you have a bunch of stuff and they're like a bottle of water and it's some spam. And they're some spam. So that you can go headband. So that you can go and lead a terrible life for a short period of time. But a red bag. A red bag is a red pack. Like some kind of party breaks out.

Yeah. Or some kind of extreme sports. Opportunity. I think this is part of our future where we have positive landmines. or some kind of extreme sports opportunity. I think this is part of our future where we have positive landmines because in wartime a riot could break out, or in bad times, but in really good times, a party could break out at any moment.

And that's why you need to have your red pack. Your red pack with your old times. For some reason, I thought of another thing that could come up from the ground, if you step on it, a meat tray. Beautiful. Just like, you step on something and through the grangles, like that, and just like, just like, a, an array of cold cuts. Well, what's good about that is that like a lot of the visual would be very similar to a person being blown up, but just meat and

intestine, and slime through the air air but when it all lands down it's all styrofoam packed and none of it is your body parts. That's right. And what a treat. And you can just lay it down and have a picnic. Yeah. So his three words are do, go, on. And this feels like, again, these people are attacking us.

They're attacking us. When we came up with this, this three word thing, it was a way for people to feel a part of the podcast and a little positive thing for us to all feel connected and to work together on something. But instead, people are using verbal violence against us in the attempt to try to stump us. Do go on, obviously, our fellow podcast on the Planet Broadcasting Network.

That's right. And as of this moment, I'm going to say our enemies. Oh, absolutely. We've just sealed the deal on Twitter yesterday for Dave Warnakie to come on the podcast because he's a guest, one of the members of DoGoOn. And now, we're only bringing him here so that we can destroy him.

That's right, it's going to be a hostile encounter. That's it, as of this assault here in the form of these words, do go on. By Mr. Packrad. Mr. Packrad, I wouldn't be surprised if that isn't an assumed name. Yeah, that's what I've assumed that is, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I'm, people assumed names, they sound like names that people take on, but really, they should be the names that we give to people before we know their name. that people take on, but really they should be the names that we give to people before we know their name.

Oh, that's good. So, like one of those loner cars at a mechanic. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to give you your name. And hopefully it'll be something appropriate for you. The match is your personality and not something sort of unused, like a lot of those loaned cars are sort of something unusable and inappropriate you need. Like if I give you an assumed name,

hopefully it's not like mega rhino with waddle. Yeah, I think I would give you like Graham briefcase. Yeah. It's distressingly accurate. Yeah. Really? I feel that is my spirit name. Yeah. Well, you know, that's your native American name. Graham. Graham walks with briefcase. Yeah. We I think we need to come up with something for. Sorry, for Dugo on. Yeah. Okay, so do, and then there's go, and then there's on.

Go on. Go, obviously, it's one of the things involving traffic lights. Do go. Do go on sounds a bit like a Dugo. Of course, yeah, yeah, there's that. But also a do can be two things. It can be a party, right? And we had a bit of a do, yeah, the night. And it can also be a haircut, a hairdo. But if it is a party, a do go on, right? It does feel like a lot of parties need, at a certain point of the night,

to either be stopped, or to have something kick them into the next gear. Like you know that period of time in a house party, where the initial energy and the initial burst that you get from drinking has subsided. And people's energy is low. Now, I'm not pitching cocaine. Sure. But what about, you know how like these these traffic lights where you cross, but they've started giving you a downward count.

Yeah. You know, and I've thought that helps immensely. Yes. At some point in the night, up on the wall, it's just a countdown. 60 minutes. 59 minutes. Yeah. 58.

Well, 57 would follow. Yeah. I see where you're going with this. Yeah. 5.45. So I mean, minutes, I mean, or we could just do it in seconds. Or songs left to lean. Sure.

Because it's like life, right? We don't know when we're going to die and so I think a lot of the time we waste time. And if we knew when we were going to die, maybe we'd make better use of it. But really in in a way every moment is a death. You know, every event has it contains its own death. Every party eventually has it has a death. Every event contains its own death. Every party eventually has a death. And maybe if we knew when that was coming, we'd make more of the party while we had it.

I like that. Yeah. Is it a sketch? Yeah, I think it could be a sketch. So what are we, where we're company? We're at a part. I think this could play out. Sorry, you were actually about to say something.

No, we was just going to say we're a company. We set up a projector at your house that you just set a timer to. Yeah. I, I, but I also like the company that comes in and ends parties for you. Yes. Right. So, you know, what kind of things end parties? Cops break it up. Yes. Um, a fight.

Two people sit alone on a couch and kiss only. So we just end the parties for you so you don't seem like a dork who ends as party at midnight or something like that. We come in and we stage some event that makes people want to leave. We can end it any way that you want, right? You put in the call to us, right? We give you a range of options. Maybe even it's an automated thing. Press one for the cops to come. Yeah, we could do a flooded toilet.

Yeah. Yeah, like we could make it sort of, you know, we do both blockage, clean up, and everything like that, but we make sure it spills up, you know, out of the bathroom into the kitchen and things like that. Yeah. Or we could... This is a comprehensive, this, this will shut the party down. Yeah, we could, we could release a bunch of bats into the outdoor area. So if Qui-Lion could get out, he's acoustic guitar.

Oh, that's it, that's great, right? The only problem is that if there's another guy with an acoustic guitar, then it could make some kind of jewel in the guitar. Oh, a jam. Yeah, that's a cool jam. Yeah. Which I guess could make more people leave. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But maybe not the people that you want to leave. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, we could, you know, we could stage some kind of police sort of. I think I think like a family confrontation or like a real big argument between a couple. Oh yeah, that's good. Well, a big destructive argument.

Oh, maybe some kind of, oh no, that's not a nice thing to say. Oh, okay. But I think that's good. I think the people who will like come and put you out of your misery basically, shut down your house party for you on your terms, but without you having to bear the responsibility. I wonder if there's a way that they could do it so that you seem like an awesome guy. Because this is the problem is that if it is just a couple having a fight or something like that, it's still

just kind of like it leaves everybody leaving with some awkward sense. But you want the person who's, you know, they're a cool guy, but they really want to go to bed. Yeah, but they really want to go to bed, right? And so they need a way for the party to wrap up at a reasonable time while still seeming really cool. I think that's probably great because really when you get to a certain age, we're talking like 20s, early 30s.

Probably most of the people at the party want that. But we can't admit it to ourselves. Everyone would be happier. Like a couple of like, I mean, this is not funny, but if the whole thing was, let's go do some laps in some like ruthless Cadillacs. Yeah. And then they take you down to the beach.

They take everybody there from down to the beach, like that, and then the Cadillacs just leave. And then suddenly nobody's at your party anymore and you're like, sweet. And they're off doing laps in their ruthless Cadillacs. Well, the Cadillacs dropped them off and then they get out of there. You don't wanna pay for too many hours of those Cadillacs. Well, the Cadillacs dropped them off and then they get out of there. You don't want to pay for too many hours of those Cadillacs.

So it's like one, two laps. But the trip is... And then we end on a high. Yeah, but like the idea is that you take them, you're like, let's all... It's a skinny dipping trip in Cadillacs, ruthless Cadillacs. And so, but then you don't take them back to the house. Yeah.

And so everybody has to figure out how to get home from the beach. What about this? Everybody gets drugged. Yeah, great. don't take them back to the house. And so everybody has to figure out how to get home from the beach. What about this? Everybody gets drugged. Yeah, great. They all just fall unconscious. Yeah. These people, they come, they clean it up,

they put them in gurneys, they take them back to their houses, they put them in their pajamas, they wake up tomorrow in their beds, they're happy. Matrix side. There was no. Yeah. Yeah. You totally miss all of the shit bit of the party, all the come down.

Yeah. And also all the struggle to get home. Oh, such a pain. Who's driving? How many people can we get in this taxi? Should we get two taxis? Can we get a maxi taxi? I realize, obviously I'm talking about things

that happen in the 90s. Now we have Uber. None of this is an issue. But this is, this takes place in the 90s. things that happen in the 90s. Now we have Uber, none of this is an issue. But this takes place in the 90s. This is set in the 90s. I really like that. Drugging everybody, getting them home, though. Yeah. I think the upset you would feel for being drunk

would be counteracted by the fact that you're outweighed. By the fact that you just got home safely and you were just so happy. Yeah, good night, sleep. And maybe even leave something to eat for when they wake up in the morning, like something delicious. I'm so into this, I was there. Yeah, I want this for most nights in my life. I remember when getting drugged was a bad thing.

That's the old people. Just one thing I wanted to bring up, Neo at some point in the Matrix does go out... Play by Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves does go out somewhere and then wake up in his bed. He's on a unit. Right? There is one of those...

There is one of those wakes up in his bed. I think the first time he meets Trinity? Yeah, yeah, sure. I think. Yeah, and then he's got that little thing in his stomach. No, he gets arrested, doesn't he? Right? He gets picked up by the agents

and they put that, they close over his mouth, what uses the phone call if you're unable to speak. Yeah. And then I think he still could have made some noise. Ruh, yeah. Ruh, yeah. Ah, you're right, actually I could, I sort of assumed that I could still form words

without using my lips, but I definitely can't. Yeah, that's not good. And then they put that squid thing in his belly, and then I'm pretty sure he wakes up and he's, what was the squid thing in his belly and then I'm pretty sure he wakes up and he's... What was the squid thing in his belly? They put a squid thing in his, goes through in through his navel, it's like some sort of tracking thing

and then when Trinity picks him up, they suck it out with a machine. Oh yeah. And that was full on. Yeah, and so it warms into his navel. Yeah, that's right. I wonder what that was. Cause it's like they didn't use any other

like biological creatures at any other point in this thing. And was it a biological creature with a, like a sort of an electronic? In mechanical, it was in some way, it was robotic. Was it like a small version of those squidies that are out in the world? Wasn't it like that? Yeah.

But that's, which is strange to me, because they are in a virtual world. So that thing's not real, it's virtual. Yeah. So why make it so creepy? And it's a virtual... Make it a sandwich. Yeah, and it's also virtual, so...

They have access to all the data on where people are anyway. Yeah, well, yeah. Anyway. Obviously, it's a representation of some kind of data that they're attaching. Yeah, look, it's probably a lot to sift through even if you're care. Yeah, if you're one of those agents or whatever.

All I was going to say was that there was a point there where he wakes up in his own bed where they did actually have to just take him home and put him in bed. Yeah. And that's agent Smith. That's the tender side of agent Smith that you don't really, because I mean, he could have woke him up anywhere. Is that even after he's put a...

That's not gonna touch him in. Yeah, is that even after you've said I put a squid in someone that's got, you're still like carrying him like he's a, you know, a little baby, a little baby. A little stuff, a little baby. And then a thing and he go, nine night, Mr. Anterson. All right, let's go through today's sketches.

We got website that allows you to pay, allows you to pay to do something nice. www.yourwelcome.com. It's for Christians. We're giving you the gift of giving us a gift. Yeah. Bank heist lottery. You just pick two numbers that are two prime numbers.

Whoops. And we see how much we can extract from their encrypted file using those. We got Sauron's initial dream and corporate evolution and how he, you know, obviously at some point he just had to start using Mount Doom to just wasn't what he got into the business for a while, but he kind of just started manufacturing. Constantin piston rings.

Yeah, and. It's probably even not stuff that's sold to the end user, maybe it's business to business, it's just some sort of component in car manufacture. Yeah, he had to make it. I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't evolved, and at some point Mount Doom PLC had become one of the corporations we see around us today. And he always changing the names.

I mean, it would be a great place to make some of those blades for that are used in sort of cutting and manufacturing. Yeah. Because a lot of the time you have to do, yeah, you have to make like diamond tip things and whatever. But if you can just make one drill, one first demon drill to drill them all. That's actually a pretty strong selling point.

Yeah, like this play does- Of course, what about inbuilt obsolescence? That is tricky, because he's not gonna get a lot of repeat business. He's going to wind up shooting himself in the foot. It is bad in that regard, but he is able to sell one drill bit like that to every company, or if they want to increase their manufacturing, you know, like, they want to keep expanding, they're going to need more drills,

more one drills to drill them all. You know, there's still limitations on the several one drills. Then we have positive landmines, for example, ones that if you step on them, they pop out and put a fruit hat on it. They seem heavy, those fruit hats. I don't know that you could wear that for all that long. No, but still, it would encourage a strong neck. I wonder what they offer in terms of sun protection.

Did you get a Legionnaires fruit hat? Maybe we're the couple of flaps of lettuce down the back. Yeah, yeah. The neck. I think maybe like, sometimes you have those sort of like, in a fruit hat, you would have like a decorative like palm tree or firm or something like that in there. And a palm leaf, not palm tree. No, not that.

Yeah, I apologize. De-stabilization of world to make dark money investments in film studios and make bigger returns. This is a, and then also studios kind of get in at the war room stage. It's a planning stage, yeah. And then obviously there's people who come shut down your party for you while still seeming like you're a cool guy. The Hollywood thing, because also there's

competition to buy the rights for various stories. You know, somebody goes, doesn't amazing campaign, writes a memoir, you know, search like pictures is going to want to buy, the rights that memoir, what they're going to want to do is they were going to want to be in the military training facilities, spotting recruits who have the potential to do something really heroic, signing them up to say a three book contract before they've even fought the war. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I mean, you have your own ghost writers involved as well so that you can just extract the story and get it, I mean, you could get it written as it's happening.

As it's happening, maybe you have the writers feed them some lines that they can say on the battlefront to make it all a bit more compelling. Yeah, I mean, it's, essentially, you could just get what… It's insane that it goes the other way around that we just let the stories happen. Yeah. At the moment, it feels like it's been a slow realization that we've been making a mistake this whole time. We've been doing more the wrong way around. It's like anything.

You get the writers in early. You get the comedians in at the development stage. That way you don't have to spend so much money doing reshoots and stuff down the track Exactly if you can get them to yeah to punch it up at the In the war room. Yeah, but if you could make the situations themselves more funny Then you don't need to make people yelling in lines from off screen. That's right BOOM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Thank you so much for listening to Two and the Think Tank. You know what we appreciate it. We do. We do. You are good listeners. We've had some great interaction with listeners online recently and it is very rewarding.

One person, I mean, look, there's been lots of suggestions that their one person has even made up a Tyler Ferrer, has made up a spreadsheet that basically makes up random variations on something that I might say. It's very exciting for the future of the podcast. random Variations on something that I might say It's very exciting for the future of the podcast. Yeah If at any moment I want to get rid of Alistair and that's something I could do. There's a spreadsheet now That I got a DQ press F9 and it gives you another thing that I would say You know I say hello and welcome to turn the think tank. I'm Andy Matthews and the spreadsheet will say and I'm Alistair, John William,

John Blay, virtual.excel.s. Let me say some dumb, disgusting body thing. Body horror. Regarding cannibalism and some creature that is in some way human. Bitcoin. Yeah. And please follow us on Twitter, we're at two in tank.

I'm at Alistair TV. And I'm at Stupid Old Andy. We're also on Facebook. We haven't been doing as much stuff on there. No, we're all, maybe we're well. You can review us on iTunes, which we really enjoy, and I think helps us in some way. Feel good.

And you can find us on Patreon if you want to support the pod. We love the people who do that. We love the people. Even more than we love the rest. No, I'm not saying that. That's not true. That's Andy. It came from deep inside. And he felt it.

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