Two In The Think Tank - 139 - "GOOD-TIMES PER SECOND"

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

Stuff Happening Rating, SIAUS, Bathurst Family Values, Determinist Coach, Quameflage, Badonkadonkadonk, Flat Ground Parkour, Stupid Noise, Gnome-EyeAnd you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereOriginal recipe thanks to George Matthews for producing  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show, where we come up with five sketch ideas. Was that it? All right, no, well you've got to come in after hello and welcome to two in the think. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Welcome to two in the think tank to show.

Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. Hello and welcome to two in the think tank to show. I've got five sketch ideas. With podcasts where we come up with five sketch ideas. Perfect. And a partridge, you know, Patrick. Drew, it just, we should point out to the listeners why maybe the sound might be different today.

It's because we've made it. We've been made it. And by it we mean a booking error. And we weren't able to get into the podcast studio, so we're using Zoom into lapel mics. lapel mics and we're sitting in the big film studio downstairs. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, it's probably got, it could have a bit of echo, bit of reverb.

But, you know, obviously the stupid old studio sound of film studio has got great sound properties. And obviously don't, don't, don't, properties and obviously don't book a speaker's book with this company if you're worried about that kind of thing. If it sounds different that's because it's better. Yeah and if you're looking for a unique sound for your videos or anything book with stupid old studios. You know anything that's different anything that's different, anything that's different, it could be better. You don't know. That's true.

Well, like, especially with stuff like audio, well, like, you know, because like if bands, they'll go to a huge effort to like record with analog equipment and reel to reel and, you know, special old microphones. And like, and this is all just what your brother George does. And my brother George, the producer of this podcast. He goes for that different sound.

You don't know the amount of processes he puts our podcast through real to real old mics. He puts this in a big, weird studio. He gets a studio band in. They don't do anything, but they just sit there and listen. Yeah, and it's nice. And I think they kind of deadens the sound a little bit. It's like good. That's the waves bouncing off these concrete walls. Yeah, they really just absorb. Just a bunch of guys holding brass and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. I tell you what this has done, Alistair. Now there's no microphone to like obstruct my view of you. And there's no table between us. I can get a full body shot of Alistair. I know, but I think it in. I think the parts with my mouth. Yeah, I think the parts normally where the mic obscures your face and body.

That's where my imagination can run mine. Take some, and I can allow myself to come up with sketch ideas in that space. Now I don't have any of that available space in the world. I can't see Andy's lower chin. I mean, now imagine what a fantastic sketch idea could be written on it. There could be some, you know, some amazingly disgusting bodily thing going on on that chin. Yeah. And that's why where my ideas come from.

I'm going to ask Andy where I get my ideas from. It's from the gaps where I can't see Andy's chin. And that's why where my ideas come from. I'm going to ask my audience from the gaps where I can't see Andy's chin. I mean, that's quite lovecraftian. You know, in that like the horror takes over in the spaces that you can't see and in the, you know, in the unknown. And I wonder if you could train kids to be real. I don't think it's possible. You raise them rather than to think that there's fear in the unknown, but make them think that there's something else, maybe hope or lunch. Lunch. Yeah, I guess if you go more specific, you know, people say when you're setting goals, you should aim for something specific. I think, as we know more and more stuff, we've established more and more.

There's less unknown. You say less unknown now? I don't know. That's one of the things where there's more unknown. There's less unknown, but we're more aware of the amount of unknown that we have. Right. Which makes it seem like there's more unknown. Right. Back in the day, there was under-reporting of the unknown.

And now people are really standing up and saying, I'm not sure about this huge range of things. And that's why it seems like there's more. But then again, there is more stuff happening. Yes. You know, I think as more stuff happens, I guess there is, that becomes more unknown. Do you think there is more stuff happening. Yes. You know, I think as more stuff happens, I guess there is, that becomes more unknown. Do you think there is more stuff?

There's more stuff happening. I guess so. I think that's really, I think like. Do you think that's really judging early universe quite poorly? I think, I think just the idea of like, how much stuff is happening and trying to measure it and report back on the amount of stuff that's happening could be a sketch idea. I think even just like a part of the news,

like a report at some point, where we are on the stuff happening scale. So I'm going, yeah. Because what's going on? At the moment, a lot of scales are quite judgmental. They go into the quality of things that are happening. Are things good or bad? Are things dangerous?

But now we're going for a scale that is just the amount. Sort of like a travel warning. Yeah. Be careful. Those heaps going on. That could be good though. That could be good. We're not.

Be careful not to miss out on it. Yeah, that's right. Opportunity for a FOMO is that maximum rating. That's it. Okay, I mean, I think we need to go deeper into this. Yeah, yeah, okay. Well, then, like, is this an organization? Is this the international institution for measurement?

Right? And they have all these specific metrics that go into like water, you know, rainfall, and the incidences of breaking and entering, but then they aggregate all their metrics together into one overall report of the amount of stuff that's happening. Yeah, and so, like, let's say they go to the people who are measuring the intensity of the UV rays, right? And they say, are there UV rays happening? And they go, yes. And then they notch up one like that. So they don't care about the value judgment of that, of those reports, but they can be an aggregator of knowledge.

You know, obviously when incidences of break-ins go up, that's the things that are happening. But then also when no break-ins are happening, that's also kind of something. Because break-ins are down. Break-ins are down. But then also kind of something. Because you really do that. Because you break-ins are down. Yeah, break-ins are down. But then there's also something happening in its place. Yeah. Like the lack of break-ins, which is something. Yeah.

Does that mean that the amount of stuff that's happening, it could be a constant, right? But what about when more people are born? Oh, no, that's true. But can more think, I mean, if it's a constant, then. That's fascinating. That is right. If we could find out that the amount of things that are happening in the universe

is a constant and find out whatever that number is... Mmm. I don't know how we'd measure it. Maybe you could do a, um... like a sample, right? And you just look at a... a box full of, um... uh of cheese biscuits. Yeah great. That's all I'm going to say. You work out how much stuff is happening in that box full of cheese biscuits.

And then you treat that as a sample of the universe. Then you expand. It doesn't feel like it's a representative sample though. Does it feel like a sample, I think any sample that you have will seem like it's not a representative sample. I guess that's a thing that's happening. Yeah that's a thing right one day. Like that. Yeah well I was going to say I mean if we're going to have to get some philosophers in on this group to totally check but like if do you think if new molecules are coming into the universe from another place,

do you think that that could increase the amount of stuff that's happening? Because are the, is the absence of stuff happening? Equal to the same thing as one, one stuff happening? Yeah, Yeah, that I mean I guess that is the philosophers because I think I think something not happening it can only happen in one way. Is that fair to say? Yeah, but then there's other things like you know like when there's not a break in right let's say. There's people enjoying peaceful time at home.

That's right. Which they can do in a variety of ways. You know, Eddie Currents is wind. You know, there's still be wind, but I guess there's also wind while the person's still breaking in. I guess if you're breaking in, you're not stopping the wind. I think breaking in, if anything, causes more drafts. That's true. Because of the breaking and the in.

Yeah, that's right, the in, the in and. Yeah. Um, all right. Well, I think that we can safely assume that when there's a break in, more things are happening than when there's not a break in. Yeah. Unless, and here's again, unless there was gonna be like a, like a surprise party.

Right. Right. But as the group of people arrive to to the surprise party, yes, they see somebody breaking into the house. Right. And then they go, maybe we shouldn't go in right now. We should let him finish. Yes. And then. And then they cancel the surprise. And really he's taking ages. And Martin's going to be here. Yes. And then they're like, oh well, maybe we should cancel the surprise party. Because he's already going to get a surprise. I think it will be too many surprises. And so then does that reduce, like does that increase the amount of things happening or reduce the

amount of things happening? Oh, I mean for Martin it feels like Or is that a one-to-one or is it because there's like ten people involved? In the surprise party is that kind of ten things happening because they all have interlives possibly rich rich in a life Yeah, and they're they're all women and yeah except for Martin Martin no, I think Martin can be a woman's women. Yeah, except for Martin. Martin? No, I think Martin can be a woman's name. Okay, great. Alistair, I think we just wrote this down as a sketch.

We stuff happening really. Stuff happening really. I think what I'm interested in, what I'm most interested in myself, is whether or not there is a constant or a ceiling to the amount of things that can happen. You know, if we could work out how many things can happen, are we maxing it out as more things happen? Are we approaching that? But also how would you measure it? Is it maximum things happening in this universe or then are you finding like, is there a things happening

density, like it's interesting? Per unit of you know matter or space time or you having to you know look at per unit of space time yeah oh what do you reckon the the fundamental unit of space time is what isn't it like it's a thing right like it's like this weird intertwining space in time. Oh, great. I don't know. Look, I flipped over some new scientists pages and it looked real complicated.

It looked like it was a double helix, maybe, maybe a triple helix, I'm not sure. It could have been a single helix. Right, of space time. I think that like the unit of space time could be something like, you know, probably about the size of like a mini car or something like that. You know, that's the size that anything really good could probably happen in. Anything really, you know, a small car.

Yeah. I guess you can have a sing along. Yeah. You can have sort of partake an intercourse. Hmm. You can give birth. Yeah. probably comes after the intercourse. Sure. This is, I guess we're discussing a group of people who live in a car.

You can live in a car. Anything you can live in is obviously this is very human centric, but anything you can live in is an appropriate, you know appropriate side of space time. I mean, I guess, on the human scale. I mean, a cockroach could live in a sort of a matchbox. Sure, but they need people around to leave food and stuff like that. I think that, like, because you've got the quantum,

you've got the tiny little scale, right? And then you've got the cosmic quantum... Both of those don't feel relevant. the cosmic quantum cosmic. Both of those don't feel relevant. So like I'm talking like a relevant unit of space time. Yeah, sort of like an SI unit of space time. Yeah, yeah, you know, well, like that you could keep at an institute in France.

Yeah, great. I mean, look, I think it's about time that we have some kind of standard thing here in Australia. You know, they've got that in the institute of France, they got like that one kilo block or whatever. Yeah. All right, this is what a kilo block is, and London or whatever, and Greenwich.

Yeah, Greenwich. Yep. They have the time thing. Yep. Right. Well, we need a thing. And all's a one. So what do we got in there? We've got the fuck ton. Yep. Right? Well, we need a thing. And all's a one.

So what do we got in there? We've got the fucktun. The fucktun. We've got a... Yeah. We've got the S.O.I. unit of a fucktun. Yeah. We've got the back.

And it's just a stack of slabs of beer. Then up in Queensland, we got the butt load. This is a it's one sort of standard butt filled. Do you think the butt load is is a literal thing though like like the amount that you could fit in a butt? I think so. Yeah, I think it's got to be. It's like a foot.

But people talk about a butt load being a lot. Yeah. I think it's crammed full. It's, yeah, okay. It's backed up and it's dense as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's densely packed. Yeah, yeah.

It's like it's a full load. You couldn't get any more in. Yeah, well, and if you could, congratulations. I didn't really have anything to say. I just started. All right, look, I'm going to write the idea of these. Yeah, okay. The Australian Institute of Quantities or Scientific Units.

Yeah, but then there's other things like that I would like there to be a unit of, a standard unit of interest. So we know how interesting something is, for example. So what would be the standard unit of interest? Something that would just make you go, oh! Because that feels like that would be know, that would be like the, the click on the Geiger counter of something being interesting is somebody going, oh, so what is that? That is, I guess, standard unit of interest would be like someone that you went

to high school with, having a baby. Yeah, I guess that's good. I was gonna say it's a place that keeps Leonardo DiCaprio's age, right? Yeah, so it's finding out Leonardo DiCaprio's age is the stare that you do like that. Yeah, he looks younger. Yeah, but he has been around for a long time. I guess that makes sense. Yeah And then this just this institute behind a glass in a glass cabinet. They just keep it there You know, just on a little on a thing, but it's like really accurate It's really accurate to sort of six decimal points. Well, he's a yeah accurate to sort of six decimal points. What is a...

Yeah. You know, they've done the most amount of research. But actually, what I worry is that that is going to be... That's going to change how interesting that is over time. You know, like, you want something that's pretty fixed. I guess that person who went to high school with having a baby is going to change as well. Like when you're both 69. Yeah.

And I think the fact that there's now an institute where a place that you can visit definitely increases the interest in Leonardo DiCaprio's age. That is true. Well, that's the act of observing changes the thing that's observed. That's right. Yeah. So now by trying to stick away from cosmic in quantum, we've now gotten involved in the quantum again.

Yeah, it's pretty, well, we've made it macro. We've made it relevant. Yeah, absolutely. I like that so much. Yeah, the fundamental unit of interest, the fundamental unit of enjoyment, the fundamental unit of enjoyment, the fundamental unit of enjoyment is the first sip of a soft drink, a can of soft drink. Oh yeah.

You know? Or that first glug of a wine bottle as you start pouring it out, you know, that, oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But those are interesting because they feel like, yeah. That's them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But those are interesting, because they feel like, yeah, that's great. That's like a, I don't know what I'm trying to say,

but I do know what you mean. That is a good glug. And I like a series of glugs as well. But I know one I would suggest that I like drinking to access, or something like that, because obviously I don't approve. I just want to picture it. Just going back to, let's say, the opening up this

Lena DiCaprio, like, you know, fundamental, is a fundamental unit of interest, sort of. It feels like it's a place that would be, you could open up and say, in Bathurst, right? Because it would be, I have to be a place that you sort of, you really go on a, you have to, you're like, should we go see the museum of interest? Whatever.

But you know, apparently they have the building block on which every bit of interesting thing are kind of based off of what's interesting is defined by this place worldwide. And it'd be Bathurst is kind of like a small enough town that at the moment it's just famous for a car race. I think it could be a little bit like, let's say we open that up there and maybe in the next two, three years. It's just a small kind of shack. It's no different to like a, you know, who's that the girl who hid in the thing

during the Nazis in Holland? And Frank. Yeah, so it's like visiting Anne Frank's house. It's just a small house, little museum. It talks about interest, things like that. You go in there and then the final kind of real, the real final exhibit before you go through the gift shop is just the glass cabin and things like

that. I think it's done with an atomic clock. Yeah, atomic clock, absolutely. I think actually an atomic clock reading of how old Leonardo DiCaprio is, like accurate to the highest level of accuracy that anything's ever been recorded is something that would win say the Turner Prize in art. You know, you just put that up there, it's just a digital reading to like, you know, 50 decimal places on a wall. Yeah. It's always increasing.

Like, that's a fucking turn. There's all this information there about like different ways that they would try to confirm how all holy is. Like they showed there's like a flake of skin in a sort of like in a little petri dish kind of like thing where they carbon dated him. You know, and they've you know just different ways in which they're you know they're attacking they were attacking this problem to get to the most accurate thing they want to be good. They asked him. They asked him they probably looked at some documents. Yeah documents. You know and they spoke to the doctor. They asked him. They asked him. They probably looked at some documents.

Yeah, documents. You know, and they spoke to the doctor. They spoke to the doctor. They probably even did some of their own independent research. Sure. Looking at, you know, because obviously they're writing this down. They're not thinking it's that important at the hospital when they're writing it down exactly how specific and, you know, like the time they write down is.

Yeah. They're probably checking the clock a minute or two after. They're looking at standard deviations of how long it takes, usually for a doctor after a birth to write down. What the exact time was and factor in those errors into the calculation of the leo-birth time. Yeah.

Anyway, but then all'll also be a team of mathematicians. About how this would probably change the town of Bathurst. You know, which I guess is already kind of a university town, but it's also, you know, it's also got that strong blue collar element to it. So it's a big, I mean, I think it's an in-in-in- is, yes. I think what would I would struggle if I lived in Bethus is that it probably is quite a boring place. Certainly that's what it seems like to me from the outside.

It's extremely boring. Apologies to any Bethurstians. A thirsty? A thirsty. Yeah, but yeah. And so this would kind of like it would change the type of tourists that goes there. It might bring in tourists. You know, at the moment, it's rev heads and car people. And then suddenly, you know, like, sort of there's more, you know, people are opening

up cuisine, like, you know, degustation restaurants near the place because it's like people go look at that and then they can go and have some food and know exactly how interesting it was. Yeah, right. When you've got that fresh, you calibrate your brain and then you go and have an experience. If you like to know things numerically. That's right. And there'll be a whole industry that would build around there based on things being interesting. Now that you've seen what a standard unit of interest is. Yes. Why not take this person to the extreme and flood their senses,

like some kind of, like what about a room that you go into? Yes. That is bright with colors, and loud, that sound, you know, possibly a variation of sound. Right. Low, high, middle, smell. Your mum's in there describing your birth.

Memory, balance, the room's on a tent. The room's on two tilts. Each foot is on a different tilt. Right. It's just, it's the opposite of sensory deprivation. Somebody's in there explaining exactly how big the different organs of a blue while are. That's interesting. That's right, yeah. It's flooding the mind with interest and it's like, it's

an experience because you know, we, I think the reason why we enjoy getting drunk or possibly some people do enjoy taking drugs, I know you don't Andy, I know you've not really... Hey, never mind, I've just never been given the opportunity. That's right, you know? I mean, obviously, a person who, you know, let's say is involved in sort of self-help and goal setting things, they would say, you gotta make your own opportunity.

Sure, sure, you're right. You've gotta brew your own mess. Yeah. But the reason a lot of these things are popular is because people just kinda wanna feel like they're losing control. And being flooded with, like losing control through interesting things or just at least being flooded with interest.

Is there a risk though that you would burn out whichever gland in the brain it is that feels interest and after that point you just would no longer be interested in things or you'd build up such a resistance to Well, there's a chance that maybe what I'm confusing with interest is just sensory overlage So maybe you know this would start like flashing lights Fascinating. I mean look it could be they could be images and and you know they could just maybe it's like an image Just zoom in like but it's full 3D projection of you just zooming in closer and closer to matter until you actually see like atoms and then quarks and you know,

and then you can see what they look like. Yeah, right? And they tell you who really did the JFK assassination. That's right, yeah. And you find out how you're gonna die. Yeah. Oh, that is interesting. That is really interesting.

That is probably, do you reckon, like, exactly how and when you're gonna die is the most interesting? It's pretty interesting. I'll have to say, I'm intrigued. It's so interesting that you think I'm maybe I don't want that. I might not so interesting and might flood my my interest gland and and everything might seem dull and actually kind of sad in a

all right Alistair just to totally change the conversation. When you mentioned bathist, the car race before. How about this, right? It's a car race, but it's a car race only for parents, right? And before like the time starts, but before you can get in the car, you've got to get out of the house. Okay. Right? So it's exactly bathist bathest. Mm-hmm. Okay, everyone starts everyone has a little on the start line Or maybe in the pit lane there or something everyone has a little all the parents. Yeah, all the drivers of parents They have a little house. Yeah with their family. Mm-hmm. The Lights change or the Gun fires or whatever, but then everybody you've got to get out of the house before you can get into the car.

And does everybody have 2.5 children? Everybody's got two and a half kids, so obviously that one that's half. It's like you've got like mop up all the mess and like squeeze it. It testons back into the hole. Yeah, okay. And so, but they're racing then with the kids in the car. I don't know. I don't know that the kids necessarily,

you just got to like pat them, because I don't feel good about kids being in the car. It doesn't feel safe. The kids are going to go off. Kids are going to maybe get on a bus or something. Yeah, okay. So you got to get, maybe you can just, you get them into a car seat.

Yes. But it's not the car seat that you're driving. Right. So then at the end of the race, you get to find out whether, if you crashed or not, whether or not it was a good idea that you didn't pack the kids.

Or not your kids died. Yeah, and so you get to be, feel great relief that let's say you didn't pack them. Yeah. Or really cocky that you could have done it with your kids in the car. I mean, if the kids are in the car, it just does make it more interesting, right?

Because they are getting a bit of a re, you're, you're, because as it is with car racing, I don't feel like you'll learn very much about the values of the person in the car. That's true, yeah. They can't really express what's important to them in any significant way.

And then do you get maybe like extra time or handicap if you sort of come across as a bad dad or bad person who doesn't value the lives of his family? Well, I mean, maybe it doesn't reflect whether or not you win the race or otherwise, but it'll certainly impact the mind of the viewer. Because let's say, let's say the mother's driving, right? Yes. And she's taken the corners a little bit too fast, and she's going to be judged very harsh.

She's going to be judged harshly by society. But then also, if the dad, let's say the kids are yelling it out, they want to listen to the teeny tiny steveys. They want to listen to that CD. And if the dad can't find the CD in the car, then that's also he's in the passenger seat trying to go through ruffle through, he's losing points. Well, I guess if you have to get the kids out of the car at the end, then what takes place inside the car is going to impact their behavior and how easy, how well-behaved they are going to be

to get them out of the car at the end and say, say, that's the finish line now. The daycare center front door is now the finish line. You know, so I feel like all of that feeds in. Yeah, I think maybe, but like the thing that really gets you ahead is actually that you're having a good time together. So the better the time that you're all having together, right? So the better, the greater the memories that you created, Maybe the most great Instagram snippets

that you can get out of it that are maybe funny and fun. How about this? The race isn't over until your deathbed, and we see how many of your kids show up. And if your kids show up before other people's kids, yeah, you were exactly, exactly. And how long it takes your kids to show up? They show up in other people's kids. Yeah, you were exactly exactly. And how long it takes your kids to show up? They show up in a timely manner. It's a really long race.

All right, I'm going to write this down somehow. It's really complicated. Yeah, well, I mean, it's, but you know, life is complicated. Exactly. Yeah. It's the, so instead of the Bathurst 3000? Yeah, it's the Bathurst family values. I think this will be big amongst the Christian community. Because driving in itself isn't really anything. No, right? It's meaningless. It's a form of transport to get you from one place to another. So just by measuring the driving, we're not actually engaging with what it is that driving provides us. I mean, people tell us that sports and probably motor sports are about having a good time. It's not about winning or losing. But there is no sport that measures

how much of a good time you're having. And I think that that's about time that... I think motor sports are the one where that least applies. No one is watching the race and being like, well at least they look like they're having a good time. Yeah, that's right. And so I think that that's why that's the first sport that we should introduce that the people who win or the people who have the best time and as a family

is the most difficult time place to have a good time. Yeah, yeah, so we're increasing the difficulty there. Yeah, and the stakes are higher. It's in the most difficult sport to have a good time and it. It's in the most difficult sport to have a good time, and it's in the most difficult scenario. And dangerous scenario. That dangerous for that family. Yeah, for that family. But also, you've got to be the fastest.

Oh, yeah. Sure. I mean, otherwise, what's the point? Yeah, so it's a fastness to good time ratio. You divide the two at the end, and then we see who comes up with the highest. Which one do you think you'll divide by the other? So let's say, so then if you divide the good times per minute, you know, or per second, or is it a minute per good time? I actually think neither of them work because you want the good time to be a high number

and you want the time to be a low number. So you want to divide good time by the amount of time it took you. And then yeah, well then we found a way to make it so it's good times, good times per second. And that's how you win. I mean, what it is, it is a genuine challenge to have a good time, especially when you're in a hurry. I think this is one of those sports that could maybe start as a video game. You know? I think.

Okay, interesting. It's, you know, that's the way they do sports. Yeah, I know the ones you mean. Well, I mean, this is, I think I'm establishing a new type of sport. New genre. Yeah, it's a new genre that in order to prove to people that it can work. Do I have genres of sport? I wonder. There's sort of sport noir.

Yeah. Mystery sport. Yeah. Detective sports. I think these are all the same kind of sports. I don't know about detective sports. I guess they're all the kind of sports that are just played by different people.

Anyway, sorry, you were saying something else, dude. I mean, the mystery sport would be somebody's one, and you've got to figure out who by playing the sport. Yeah, yeah. I guess it could just be that it's, um, they're all determinists that are, it's the philosophy that you play the sport with. That that matters. Yeah, everybody who plays it is very deterministic.

So they think that the world, what happens in the universe, is already been determined, and they just have to let it happen. And whether they try or not, doesn't, like how much they try, doesn't really matter because that's how much they were always going to try. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't have to apply yourself any further than you really need to. But, but then do they end up applying themselves at all to determinists still?

They can and they can't or can't. But it's like I can't imagine believing that, like thinking that whatever you do is what you're always going to do, and then doing anything. Isn't it? Right. Are there people who are actually determinists really, like, functionally determinists? But then what if you feel like doing something? I guess the fact that I'm doing things and trying is still can be fun. That's true. And then once you get that in your mind,

well you go, well then maybe I'll just, I feel like trying a bit because I find that fun. Yeah, I guess the amount that you were going to enjoy yourself, is that affected by knowing that that was how much you were going to enjoy yourself? Yeah. I think all it really affects is that you don't feel any joy for winning or losing. Right. But I don't know if walking around a soccer field while other people run around and just

being like, whatever, it doesn't matter. I don't know if that you would end up having the most amount of fun out of that. while other people run around and just being like, whatever, it doesn't matter. I don't know if that you would end up having the most amount of fun out of that. So all the longest soccer career. Yeah, but in a deterministic world. I think a soccer team in which one of the players, or possibly all the players are determinists.

Yeah. Maybe the coach is a determinist, so he's pump up speech. It's like whatever happens out there boys, remember, it was always gonna happen. Now, only apply yourself the amount that you always going to apply yourself, because the universe, what happens at the end of the universe was determined in the very first seconds when it began. At the big bang. Remember, this has already been written. These are the things that I was always going to say.

We're all just following a script. All right, now go out there and do what was planned that you were going to do at the instance, the big bang happened. That's, yeah, I think how does that tie into, because like, it does that tie into like the anthropogenic Because like, it's that tie into like the anthropogenic theory of the universe that like, that this is the universe that we're in because we're in this universe. Yeah, so.

I just like to tie that into the speech somehow. But is it, are you talking about that idea where like people ask, well, why are all the things like, why are all the universal constants set at such a way that life is possible? Yeah, life is possible, but the only way that you could observe a universe is in one in which the universal constants are at this. Yeah, I mean, look, you know, like, I mean, they're just throwing. You can throw in a lot of deep kind of like- Science, or at least deep sort of first year philosophy kind of like, you know,

a stoner kind of philosophy. Remember, guys, the universe. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus. And financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. Universal constants are specifically finely tuned. You're gonna wanna feel passion when you see how finely tuned this universe is for life.

But you gotta remember that you only could have emerged in a life. And so try not to feel too much out there, because whether you win or lose it was always gonna happen. Yeah, right. And the opposition. Yeah, and the opposition. Yeah. They're gonna try to, you know, they're gonna try that. But their efforts, a few tall, like,

can't change the outcome of the match as much as you can. Yeah. Yeah. Go out there, winner lose. It doesn't really matter. It's been decided billions of years ago that we're gonna get ice cream after the match anyway. If this makes, and if this speech makes you feel

like not trying, well, there was nothing like a deal there. Anyway, sorry, I hope we didn't try your patience. We went on a bit about that, and I hope that that didn't. I hope that the fun that we were having whilst doing that It didn't entirely bore you if it did it was always gonna happen. So I Was listening to a podcast and there was a thing where the guy was talking about he was a biologist and he was talking about these creatures that

One of their tactics for, you know, not getting eaten or not getting, you know, for avoiding conflict is, like, let's say, an insect that blends it, can blend into its background. Yes. Right. Which is a great tactic, but is a difficult tactic. I think, as you get bigger, you have to, you have to move around more because you've got is a great tactic, but is a difficult tactic. I think as you get bigger, you have to move around more

because you've got to get more resources, so that definitely affects you in that way. But then there's also the part where if you want to breed, you also have to make yourself more visible because if you're hidden, then that affects your your chances of finding a might, chances of finding a mate. And so I thought the idea of somebody, I mean, it's either like, I mean, there's either like a whole kind of like Pixar type story in that kind of thing where it's like, I mean, I think Camille is going to be cheap to animate. Yeah, I mean, this is, I mean, this is, we just get the background's down and we're pretty much sick.

And there's some voices or whatever, you know, loyene or monologue. Or it's a guy who's in camouflage, right? And he's, I was gonna just say, chameleon is too obvious. I think we need something else. Maybe one of those moths that hangs out on like a tree and it's like the same texture as the bark or an octopus.

Or an octopus? Yeah. Well, there's moths that hangs out on an octopus? Yeah, great. Or an octopus that hangs out in a bunch of moths. So they just blend in perfectly. Every kind of cuddle fish could do that. Pardon me.

Anyway, but then it's going to start. But I mean, if you transfer it to a guy, and a cuddle fish could do that. Yeah. Pardon me. Anyway, but then it's going to start. But I mean, if you transfer to a guy who's like, the way I've managed to survive this long in life is by wearing one of those military outfits with it look like you're a mountain of grass. You know how you see those everywhere and they're now I'm struggling a little grass. Yeah. You know how you see those everywhere and there. But now I'm struggling to reproduce.

I'm struggling to find a mate because whilst this is keeping me safe. I mean, is that a thing that was... It's not so much that I can't find a girl, is that they can't find me. Is that a thing that would play out in an interesting way on an episode of Queer Eye. Like, I don't want to do a Queer Eye sketch just because it feels like those were all all done when the first series of Queer Eye came around. And but this is a different Queer Eye now, right? It is a different Queer Eye, you're right. So the sketches will be totally different.

But it's different in a way that it tackles issues like much more obviously. I think like every episode seems to be kind of themed in that they're touching on a different type of toxic masculinity that they're like addressing essentially. Right, interesting. Yeah. I haven't watched enough episodes to... Look, I've seen two and one was with a woman and they didn't address any issues, really.

No, no, it was kind of stolen issue, but it felt like that was kind of what they were doing, like... Yeah, okay. ...with this thing. So, in this one, there's obviously the masculine fear of... Or not fear, but the very... Like the constant, the thinking about things in terms of violent attacks.

This guy, you know, he's really taking that to the extreme and that he doesn't ever want to get attacked, or really, he doesn't want to attack, but he's ready to attack at any point. But I think if we, I mean, putting it in a queer, I think probably complexifies it more. Yeah, and in fact, I think that the only really angle that I had in my mind on it was exactly that thing of like, he's finding it difficult to connect, or you know, with people.

But then again, I was just thinking that this is actually a fun way of extracting a lot more of his story out because then each guy who spends time with him is like, they're both trying to just tweak his fashion sense and his diet and stuff like that, enough so that he's more appealing to the world. Without changing who he is. Without changing who he is.

So the food that they're getting him to make is something that he can make whilst crouching amongst the bushes. And it still kind of blends in within his environment. So bags of spinach and kind of rock and, and if they, if at this point maybe they, you know, see we, you know, I mean, maybe if this is set far enough in the future, maybe they will have discovered how to eat wood and that would be perfect. Oh, you know, this fast emerging is one of the key themes the two of the thing takes off. Wow, you know, it was a while since we had a theme. Yeah. You know, and eating wood, I feel

I could be also, you know, a thing that ants like. Because I think that would help them immensely. I know that some of them like leaves. We haven't talked about things that ants like for a really long time, but I can absolutely confirm that ants love eating wood. When we got our new house,

they'd eaten the whole back wall. Really? Or their white ants. No, they were black ants. They were just eating it. They're just eating the, eating all the wood. It was all rotten and... Is this a new thing that black ants eat wood?

Could be. Could be emerging. But we can call it the ant diet. Could call it the ant diet. Yeah, ants. They are very skinny. Absolutely. Especially in, like they've got, they've got... Look at that figure. They've got that one of our glass

38 microns 1938 That's beautiful. Yeah, they actually have that that snowman figure and they got that big ass that yeah, which is very in right now The ant like we haven't got that yet as a phenomenon. The ant asks where your ass is almost like a totally separate thing that hangs off your body. Oh, you know, when that comes in as a look. Yeah, absolutely.

I wonder if you almost, in order to get a bit more of an ant figure, you need like a neck corset? Yeah, yeah, I dare say, your neck needs to be much thinner, much more cinched in. Your midsection needs to be as round as possible, and then we need a third bit, which will have to be like a prosthetic or a surgical addition of a huge swollen. Is that the abdomen? That bit at the back there which would come off from sort of your tailbone

area. Yeah, I think you definitely need that bit. Get your legs real swollen. Maybe you can get a bit by answer. It could be your legs, but I think you really want your legs to be as skinny as possible. No, right. So you just want stuff to go beyond ass. Yeah, I want to come out from there and I want to out the back like a big fat tail. I mean, but it would be, wouldn't it be easier to just fuse your legs together and make them swollen and maybe inject them with a whole lot of fat and things like that.

And then just get some- But then you still need legs. Yeah, I know, but then put in some extra stem leg. How is this easier? Well, it doesn't seem easier at all. You're always trying to get us to fuse our legs together for some reason. I know, but I'm just thinking with technology, we're gonna have some thin metals that can be probably mechanized.

You know, these little, they've got these kind of like mech warrior type leg things that they're making so that they're, you can add strength to the legs of soldiers. Exoskeleton. Just use those, but without having regular legs in there, just put, just fuse those to like your hips. Have them coming out on the side, like that, right?

And just put two fake legs in there, just like a dummy legs. Like just stuffed with like, you know, tissue paper and like old stockings or whatever. The location. Yeah, like that. So we have mechanized thin metal robotic legs and then just like some bits of cloth

that are stuffed with newspaper. Stuffed inside, yeah. And then I guess just your arms. And then I guess we walk on all fours. Great. Yeah. All fours. Is. Yeah. All six. Is that a sketch?

Yeah. Going for that ant look. That ant look. Mandibles? Antibodies. Antibodies. Or do you? Antibodies.

And the antibody, get yourself an antibody for summer. Mandibles, yeah? Mandibles. I'm low on antibodies. I think we had some kind of antibody pun in the show about a year and a half ago. Oh, I'm sorry. Two for another one. Yeah, I think ant bodies.

Ant bodies. How did we get into it? It was the antisus for eating wood again. Yeah, I think it was, but I think why there needs to be a better reason? It's more connected to like body fashion. And what's good.

I guess it's like it's the extremity of that there's the butt love. Yeah. And then it's like actually now it's full. Is it thorax? No, it's not full. Thorax is the middle bit. I think it's abdomen.

Abdomin? Well, it feels like that's where the, well, look, I... That might just be thorax again. Yeah. Maybe thorax is anyway. We'll find out what that bit is. Just the ant butt.

Ant butt, yeah. The ant butt look, which is just, you know, the extreme of the, um, of the, we're on the tail end. Fair enough. Of the Badanqadong phase. Yeah. And, and these are the people who made the changes right before that wave, you know, had had passed us.

Yeah. And they made some really extreme makeovers. Yeah. I'm into it. I think, I mean, ants also look great on the sand. It's sort of their natural habitat. So this could be a real beach look. This could be big for your beach.

Oh, absolute. Or a desert. Yeah, and desert. Can you desert body ready? Yes, body. Oh, yeah. I think that's something. Your hive. Behind. That's not a hive, is it? Anyway, great. Have we done five sketch ideas? Done six sketch ideas. Do we have some words from a listener? We do have some words from a listener. Andy, today's listener is a little guy you may know as Fred Rhodes. Fred Rhodes.

Hello, Fred Rhodes. I hope that's how it's pronounced. I hope that's how it's spelled. Is that Fred with a P? No, but it's it's Rhodes with an RH. Yeah, great. RH Oads. RH Oads is better. Sounds like you could be a novelist. Yeah, RH Oads. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Yeah. Capitalize that O. I'd read his Skull Fire series. Oh, you going to end that skull F word differently. Oh, well that's why you can't leap to conclusions.

That's right. You just whiten to the end of my skull F word. Speaking of leaping, one of his words is parkour. Oh, great. One of his other words is parket. Parkour, parket. Parkour parkette. And what, a P-A-R-Q-U-E-T? Is that parkette?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A shim, that's a reference to parkatory, which is a type of flooring, using short planks of wood to sort of tile the flooring. You get it a lot in like sort of ballrooms and that sort of thing. That's clearly what it's a reference. And Andy, this is, these are three P words. As this been said in since last week, when you struggled with three P words.

Yeah, look, sometimes three P words are two P words and an F word. The subtle ways in which the listeners try to use these three words. Yeah, look sometimes three P words are two P words and an F word. The subtle ways in which the listeners try to use these three words. To fun with this. I really appreciate it. It's quite subtle. It's sometimes I feel like my brain is maybe teeming up with the listeners. Yeah. And the final P word is Pukwa. Pukwa. Question mark. Obviously for why. Why? You know, if you break that, break it down. It's for what? Poucquat.

For what? For what? Which is, I guess, is why? Let's break them all down. Park. Ur. Park. Hour.

Park. Park. Hour. It. Pocket. It. Oh no, par. Which is like, par. Kit. Park hour. It. Park etiquette. Oh no, par, which is like parched. Cat. Which is, you know, the sort of, it's quest minus an S. Oh.

Okay. I mean, look, I'm interested in, because I think parkette makes me think a big, big open ballroom, right? And Parkour makes me think like we're doing like just flat ground parkour. Like as Parkour, what it is, is it's just, you know, it's up the walls, it's jumping across gaps or something like that. But I like the idea of Parkour that just takes place on a totally flat ground. And now you might say that that's,

well, you're just describing gymnastics, right, the floor routine in gymnastics. No, I'm not, no, because this is parkour. And the difference is you're wearing a singlet. Parkour is also like a pants. Free running. Free running. So this is, you know, it's, it's, it's, you're running like, like your, your wife has just taken you in and taken the like the leash off of your collar. Yeah. And you just go in for it.

You're out. It's parkour, but without the obstacles. It's like a dog park. But. But for parkour, the kinds of people who would do parkour. Do parkour. And can't, I don't, I don't like to do it in the house. Yeah.

And I'm confident with gaps. Heights and yeah. Is this anything? It's something, I mean, it's wild. I think it's, you know, I just like, we go in there, it's a big open gym. And it's like, this is what it's like. I think it's just a beautiful open,

it's like a disused building. It's like a, it is a ballroom. Yeah. So it's this beautiful old town hall or like, you know, I don't know what kind of buildings have ballrooms. What kind of buildings have ballrooms? 10 holes, government houses. Palaces.

I don't think I've been in a single ballroom. A single ballroom. Anyway. A single ballroom. Anyway. A single ballroom? I was just thinking of a single ball. Oh, right. Like Hitlerhead, apparently. Yeah.

More. Nice. A kid with one marble? Okay. Yeah. Kids with one marble often have a single testicle. How do they? Yeah. Is this anything? Is it... Kids with one marble often have a single testicle. Ah, do that. Yeah.

Yeah. Is this anything? Yeah, like flat ground. Like flat ground. Because like, there are things that we could bring into this idea. Like, one of those ideas could be that it's almost like a ballroom dancing kind of a thing when people sort of stand around. Right. kind of a thing when people sort of stand around. Right, and the people doing parkour are kind of dressed

in quite spangly outfits. You know, we're talking sequins, et cetera. They've got numbers on their backs. And they're just running around and sort of jumping and rolling, getting up. It's kind of like one of those news reports where it's like, oh, here's the latest thing that people are doing. Yeah.

And they're talking about, you know, like, because you know, right now there's, there's the latest thing that people are doing. Yeah. And they're talking about, you know, like, because, you know, right now there's, there's a competitive, like, tag. You ever see that where they've built, like, a room, which it has like obstacles and kind of like, platforms and all these bars everywhere. And you just chase each other. And you get a point if you can evade

the other person for like 20 seconds. Wow. Yeah. And it's just like all out just chasing and the guy who's behind it is like, look, you know, in nature, we're, you know, fleeing and chasing is a big part that is no longer in our lives and it's fun and it's activity. And it's, you know, it's intense exercise.

And so it's kind of like that, but people are somehow justifying like, like, well, you might think that Parkour is all about leaping from tall buildings and rolling and thinking, but what about for the people who don't want to risk their lives? Well, Marcus here has been, has, has brought in, introduced a flat ground parkour in this, this local ballroom, and then, and then you just see people just like, just kind of running wildly, taking, taking real sharp corners. You know, because it's supposed to be like creative running.

And then they sort of stop, we'll stop and then they'll just do a two feet together jump. Yeah, like that. To just a different spot. Then do a 180. Yeah. And then you start running again. Maybe not even any rolling.

Yeah, no rolling. I'm blocking with a rolling. No, Andy, rolling is in. Rolling is in. Thank God. Yeah, I like it a lot. Right. Thank you very much.

Roadsie. Yeah, thanks Roadsie. R-H-Ods. R-H-Ods. Looking forward to the new ice stone novel that you've got coming up. Absolutely. The Skull Fire series. Yeah, Blade of the North.

Yeah. Ice stone colon, Blade of the North. Yeah. The new novel in the Sk-fired quadrilogy. Yeah, which obviously was a spin-off of the ancient archers' stone. Mm. Yeah, and this one we follow, the quest of Mel Chabeth, as she seeks to avenge the death of her half-mother. Ruta Bar, Ganesha.

The heir to the throne of the Helms Crown, but you... Hmm. But you. But you. But you. The North Fun Told People. Great. All the pauses are part of the name. North Fun Told People. They're a meditative, humanoid. I don't think enough pauses are included in language. I'm going to do a language where the pause is one of the sounds.

Like that clicking language. Did I tell you about, maybe I've already mentioned this on the pods, or stop me if I have, but I saw this like, it was like one of those mini documentaries on VICE or something like that where they were talking about some ancient Spanish language on from some island that was like, it's a whistling-based language, right? And they have people- No, tell me about this.

These people kind of like, you know, they put their finger in their mouth in some weird way and it's apparently because it's quite a mountainous, spacious area. And these people kind of go like, like that and they're, and they've pushed me from like one mountain to another. And they're putting subtitles under it and they're talking about how these people are keeping this language alive and they're teaching the youth about it, right? And watching this thing, I was like, there's absolutely no way people are saying things, right?

There's no way. And I think there was a one point that was a line that made me pretty sure that they weren't saying things is because they go, it's based on the phonetics of the Spanish language, even though the ancient one was based on some other phonetic. So they've reinvented it sort of. Yeah, and so I think that they're kind of going, let's say they're saying, hey, come over here,

they're going, in some way like that. And I was like, wow, this is complete bullshit. And the people are not saying, hey, come over here. They're going, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, in some way like that. And I was like, wow, this is complete bullshit. And the people are not saying exactly what. Anyway, it made me think that there's a sketch in the idea of like, let's say some family that it lives in some really rural part of the country. And these are the two sisters that are,

they're keeping this language a lot, but instead, you see them talking, and they're doing a little documentary about them, and you see ones over at the other end, and they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, And then the subtitles of them having some, you know, just conversation. It could be, it could be deep. Yeah, yeah, great.

And then I like it. We cut to the classroom where she's coming in. She comes in twice a week to teach us to the kids in the classroom on her own time, right? Yeah. And I think all it is is that we're building in a little story in there. Maybe like there's, there ends up being a big fight between the two sisters. But all that is is that we're getting to have people, have an argument, but all they're going is yeah like that and then you just put subtitles and have them saying things.

Jesus Christ you can't sleep with one of the students, we're gonna get arrested. I didn't sleep with him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, funny just based on seeing people making these stupid noises. Yeah. And it's not like a genuinely historical language as well. Like it goes back maybe like four generations in this one family. Yeah. They came up with it. It was just like the one. And it was like, it was a language that was developed because it was the only way to be heard at the dinner table

when everyone else was having a conversation was to sort of screech in this high pitch and get over the top of the general hubbub. That's right. But you know, it doesn't mean that the language isn't more safe. You know, it's obviously adding to our cultural diversity in this world, and we can't let another language die. It is interesting, isn't it, that just coming up with a new culture is adding to the cultural diversity in the world. As much as keeping alive some old one. And you could have times, like moments where they're, like shots where they're working with somebody

from the government who works at the, the sound and film archive. And they're recording this language before it disappears potentially. And so then they're going, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, That means car. That's portraying someone. That's cheese sticks.

Right. Al, do you want to take us through the sketches that we've come up with today on the podcast? We've got the stuff happening rating itself, is it? Right. It's a classic sketch format from two in the thing, where you come up with a new government institute that does a thing. The measure is something new. Um, stuff happening.

The measure is how much stuff is happening. Yeah. I guess, you know, it can, it can localize it to a country, but it can also, it's really the aim is to measure the stuff happening in the universe, see whether or not there's a steady state or whether, you know, is it increasing, is it going down, is it gonna expand until the point

where there's too much stuff happening? Or was it gonna reduce to a point where there's not going to be enough happening anymore? That there's going to be too many people in the universe and not enough things happening. Yeah, we see the crossover point on the graph where it's like people who want to do things and things that are happening.

Not like. Yeah. And I guess then these like, then it goes deeper to the studies are like, what are things that make things happen and how can we produce more of those so that we don't get to this point? We need to create the right conditions for this to happen happening. Then we got the, and then we want to kind of create like a place where Australia is, this is the next sketch, it's where Australia has its own standard for an SI unit here in Australia. So I'm kind of Australia Institute for, let's say, the Faktan.

And we have this one standard Faktan, you know, somewhere maybe out in Cobrum, you know, maybe we could have it in orange. These inner, these inland cities need things to support local communities. So that the young people have something to do. And one of them is also the museum of interest, and they have the one standard unit of interest, which is the normal Leonardo DiCaprio. Exactly Exactly. Which could also be an art installation. And then we have while we're in Bethes we have the car rice where you're going to get the kids at it. Well that's right that's the next sketch is the

Bethes family values race, which is it's the first sport that measures how good a time you're having per second. I mean, they average it up, but you know, they'll also be really exciting to go through the graph at the end to see where they were having a really good time. Maybe a great song came on the radio. You know, that they all like. We want, no, whether or not you've been a success

as a parent until we see your kids with their kids. You know, because I think that's the real test. It's like whether they've learned the skills to be, because ultimately you want your kids to be better parents than you were. That's right, you give them. Absolutely, and then that'll be a real test of how good a parents they become.

And you can only really tell how good a parent they become when their kids have grown up and they become parents. Exactly. But also, yes, so the idea is it's a car race where you have to get, you start in the house, you've got to get the kids into the car, then you start the race, you've got to go as fast as possible whilst also having as good a time as possible. Yeah.

Keeping the peace. Sometimes that can just mean keeping the peace. Yeah. Sure. You know, it doesn't have to be a good time. Doesn't not everything, people don't have to be laughing constantly. No.

If they are, there's probably something else going on, but I think the service. It's probably some anxiety. Yeah, what are you masking? Yeah. And also a good time with a family is not that, this is not that different from a bad time. Like true. You know, it's good in a way that is not instantly enjoyable.

Sure. But there's a richness to it. There's a richness to it. Like, I mean, right now, I have, you know, we're getting the kid to sit on the, on the party, you know? And it's a good time while he's going, watch me, watch me, like that. And we're just, we're just watching the urine come out into the toilet and then clapping. So he needs the audience, does he? He loves the audience.

It's what it's about. Oh, we're making a healthy, well-rounded kid here. Yeah. A person who requires applause after they're in it. And I'm having a good time, just not in the traditional way. I'll say we're raising kids who, when they stand up applaud themselves. Yeah, yeah. So that's a sort of intrinsic motivation.

That's right. Well, if you can build self-satisfaction into their regular methods, then you're building kids that won't need other people. They won't need anyone. They won't need anyone. Anyway, the next sketch is the determinist coach of a soccer team. It just says, you know, basically everything's

going to happen the way it's always going to happen. So, you know, go out and try the way you were always going to try. You know? I like that a lot. Don't let what I say here affect what you're going to do because you can't cook. It's not that good. Kemophlauge, man you can't cook. You can't.

A camouflage man on Querai. You know? He's the guy who hangs out, you know, but there's also looking for love. But the problem is that it's not so much that he can't find a woman. He sees them often. It's just that he can't find him. I reckon like if we were going to do with a Querai sketch of that kind, which I don't know if we would,

but I feel like we could come up with something that's much simpler. Then a guy who hangs out in his camouflage, this is the best idea we've had in this episode. Oh, okay, great. And it's an episode filled with pretty good ideas. Okay, great, great. I was going to say like, what about a goblin or something?

Is that funny? A goblin. Yeah, but then does it need to be like sort of like garden gnome eye and it's a it's these garden gnomes who are trying to help the goblin be more acceptable. I think a garden gnome eye for absolutely anyone is funny. They always try to put you in one of those big pointy cloth caps Don't forget your shovel You're about growing your beard

Well first of all, you're bad isn't it? What if you're... It's gonna be difficult to work with someone who's more than a foot and a half high? Yeah, and they find a way to like actually like just file, file your legs down. File your legs down. Put your little ditch or something. Compress, you know like you would do with all the contents

of a big computer tower. Then you can get them in actually quite a small thin little tower. They do that but with your organs. Wow. And they get you into a smaller body. And they garden them a fire. And you're gonna write this down. And they get you into a smaller body and they guard and nomify you. You remember what it's down? God, I know my...

It's too much, it's too easy, you know? To do parody. Yeah, I know, but... It's just because anything you're like, ha ha. You know? Yeah, I know, but if you, ha ha ha. It's because it's too instantly funny. Yeah.

You know, Andy, I think that all the inner voices that we have that stop us wanting to do easy comedy like that. And all the people who tell you that fart jokes and, you know, piss and shit jokes and sex jokes and things like that and swearing are beneath you. Are people who are telling you not to be a successful comedian? That's what I want.

I want to be successful doing this. All right, and we got the tail end of the Bedunkadunk phase, which is where people get those long, those long and possibly four axes, maybe the other thing. We don't know yet, but you know that big ant thing, you get your legs fused together, you get a puffed up. I mean, I don't know if you wanna make it crispy like an ant, so it's nice.

Ants look like they're exterior's crispy. Yeah. So maybe you want that. Then the next sketch is, but then also I think within that sketch, there needs to be the end of the Bedonka Dunk phase happening not long after. Yep. And now like tight little touches.

It's what's in. Yeah. Then what happens to people? Oh no, no ass. You know those people with no ass? Yeah. You know people who are always like, oh, you got no ass. That's what's gonna be in.

And then these people have these fake mechanical legs, stuffed with pillowcases and stuff. And they're just so out of fashion. And they're standing alone in a nightclub on their hands and their mechanical legs, sipping a drink, like, you know, having to... No one's asking to do it. No one's asking to do it.

They're like twerking and making a huge thorax, flunk, filling up and down. They're not gonna drink that of people with no asses hands. Oh. Anyway, it's gonna be...it's gonna be great. It's gonna be a tragedy. We don't run enough great. It's going to be a tragedy. We don't run enough tragedy. It's a real tragedy. Then we got the flat ground parkour.

This is just another hits. It's just people running around. We came up with a sketch of this people running around. It's essentially what you would get in a room of kindergarten students that you've allowed into the gym. Yeah. Running around and not rolling. of kindergarten students that you've allowed into the gym. Yeah. Running around and not rolling.

If they roll, they get tasered. No rolling. Too dangerous. And then we got stupid noise language that goes back 40 years from some family trying to save it and keep it alive. And then we've got Gordon, not Gordon, no. But Gordon, no. I I for the human guy. Right.

Um, so... BING! BING! BING! BING! BING! BING! BING!

BING! BING! BONG! The long, the watchtower! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, It was considering all things and how many things were happening. Ever been. Okay. All things that have ever been. And all things that will ever be. Some totality. Yeah.

And we. Well, thanks. We were on Twitter. Oh, yeah. You get us on Patreon. Yep. Slash to and tank. You can donate.

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