Two In The Think Tank - 145 - "HORSE PARKOUR" with MR SUNDAY MOVIES

Episode Date: August 21, 2018

HP, Why the Long Paper Mache Mask, Armadillionnaire, Barn Date, Filth Restaurant, Rare Medium Well Done, Carbonating Solids, Liqwood, Lamp Loophole, Deathwish, BloodscreamEnormous thanks to the legendary Mr Sunday Movies for being on the show. Check him out on Youtube or on The Weekly Planet or on TwitterThanks to everyone who supports the pod by chipping in to our patreon hereTwo in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereA lifetime supply of thanks to George Matthews for editing this episode.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Hello and welcome to Two in the Thing Tank to show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William-Trumpley-, they're virtual and we also have a guest here today Joining here in the tank mr. James Clement. Thank you for having me It's gonna be back in the tank last time I was here. I didn't get to do the intro and it It's I'm anxious. Yeah, I'm like when do I jump in when do I leave when you guys got a stop? I'm really sorry that you were anxious

during the pod You know, it's it sorry that you were anxious during the pod. You know, it's you're through the worst of it. Yeah, but just know that the the podcast is itself a constant feeling of you've never quite done enough. And you've went, is it going to stop? Yeah, that's very much replicating what it's like for the listeners at home. We ask that you listen to this at home. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Is that too much to answer? No, that's just for this at home. You can focus more, I think. Absolutely. You're driving your pretensions divided. Not at work. Not driving. No. No. No. We're wearing a hoodie and maybe some thick socks. Yeah. Yeah., you comfort your body and

comfort the mind will also be comforted. I think mind flow is better. I'm sorry. Yours was good. No, no. Yours was better. Yeah, yeah, really had rolls off the tongue. You know, is that a sketch idea? Well, I mean, I saw a video about how Roll Dal writes his books, right? He's got that weird little shed. And he's weird little shed. Yeah, yeah. And he looked very comfortable.

Is that what the like, the man cave is like? I guess, no, mine's just a collection of PlayStation 2 games stacked on top of each other that I'm planning to make videos out of. And two microphones, that's pretty much, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Well, there is maybe like a some kind of sketch idea in talking about the locations in which certain Things had were you know the conditions in which they were created. Yeah, I think that's really great. Yeah, so like like what we're looking at like great works

About you know like obviously the roof of the system chapel, right? That was made on the roof of the system chapel So that one I mean mean, that one's... The optimal position. Indeed, indeed. I think he probably tried doing the roof of the cysteine chapel other places. Yeah, like the back of a horse or... The back of the horse or... Yeah. Probably the side of a horse, probably. And the crazy thing would have been...

Do we... I mean, people say doing the cysteine chapel was hard, right? But I don't think it's nearly as hard as doing it on the side of a horse. Yeah, like, maybe, you know what, under the horse, I guess, you probably do it under the horse. Yeah, especially still laying down, doing it all around a horse, you know?

And like, so having scaffolding that does, you know, keep you under the horse, but then also to the side of the horse, where you have to sort of do it with you. You know what I'd do? Yeah. I'd put the horse, I'd rotate the horse. That's my, you know? You put the horse on some kind of sit and do it with you. You know what I'd do? I'd put the horse, I'd rotate the horse. That's mine.

You know, you put the horse on some kind of a spit or like a chuck, like it was on a lathe. We're not killing the horse here. We're not killing the horse. We're just spinning the horse. Yeah, it's just slowly rotating the horse. But in such a way that the horse doesn't notice. I mean, I don't think a horse in its day-to-day life

would even have the capacity to register spin. No. Like, when was the last time a horse was spun? There's no reason for a horse in the wild, right? To be able to... It's like us trying to think of a, you know, a fifth dimension. I think a horse trying to imagine spinning, it would have no...

Such a foreign concept. You'd see the horse do a jump and do a corkscrew. Or even a, some assault maybe by accident, but not a corkscrew. Like, if it hit a branch, maybe also. Like maybe in the midst of some parkour trip, and if it was leaping from one cliff to another, it might some assault just to sort of soften the impact.

Yeah, sure. Which by the way, they were a barrel roll. If the like the pony club is looking for a way to sort of spice up their image for like a new millennium, get the kids in. Yeah, yeah. Pony Parkour has got to be. Yeah.

Absolutely. Because what's that horse competition call but they just trot around a track? You know when they wear the red clothes? It's not great, is it? No. If they, yeah, that sounds right. Or is it the dress-up?

dress-up, even better. And where they kind of do that, like sort of like one, two, kind of foot-stepping type of thing to the side. If they were like leaping up in a band and building through a elevator shop or something like that, you could have been,

you know, doing those kind of fun steps on a slackline. Yeah, that's right. You know, between the two towers. And I tell you what, this is take a lot of the heat of the harness racing people who at the moment are like really at the forefront of sports-based horse cruelty. We come in with like a much stronger bargaining position of horse elevated parkour

there, I mean Their bodies are not built to do any of that stuff. You'd be churning through those horses But they're but they're a running animal. You know their joints are for they're for landing hard There's not a lot of ankle-give for their for landing hard there's not a lot of ankle give I don't know so I don't think not having a lot of ankle give they have riders I think you've got to have the rider yeah and that's true and that's elevated animals

and that makes the role really interesting that moment where the horse is on top of you. Yeah Now stop incredible. Let's say they are doing sort of like high a tight rope walking You know between yeah, I don't know doesn't have to be set around 9 11 But if I just I just keep picturing those like that man on a wire kind of scenario with a horse Yeah, you know that wasn't set around 9-11. That wasn't what brought the two towers down the second. The horse could do that.

You just tightened the wire too much and the two towers linked towards each other. Anyway. I mean it would be an amazing coincidence. I mean, Jetfield can't melt steel beams, but they can be bent a lot by a man with a long wire. Yeah, that's it, yeah. Like, but I imagine if they are sort of tight-roof walking, are you giving the horse like,

giving it like a safety kind of, you know, harness and hooking it to the wire as well? I think that takes a lot of the, the assignment, that's it. I don't think you'd be able, even if you had that harness, how would you get it back? I think you just have to let it fall. It just kind of dangles.

I do love watching a horse get helicoptered out of a river. Yeah, right? Like that, just the way that they kind of droop the little thing in it. Yeah. I certainly prefer it to watching a horse drown. Yeah. Yeah.

If you have a pick up. You've got to ask what's worse, right? A horse plummeting to its death from a rope between the twin towers, or a horse slowly dying of starvation while dangling from a rope above New York City. What is the world you want to live in? I think just get it over and done. I agree. I agree. Just rope off an area where a horse can fall. Because otherwise also, you could only really do it three or four times. Because then you've just got five horses dangling. That's true.

Is that all you can do? Yeah. Yes, you're right. Or else then the horse tends to eat. I mean, it's arguable that they let you go again after you've done it the first time. But you do it first and you ask for forgiveness later. Yeah, sure. You do it in four times.

Those guys who did the walk, they didn't ask. No, they did it. So you just need to get six or seven horses. I mean, God, that would have been so much more impressive if they'd been trying to smuggle in horses. Yeah, absolutely. Through the like the stock elevator. Yeah, the stock elevator.

They've got one for stock. They dress up the horse like two men. That's the opposite of it. Yeah, that's true. That's really good. You could plausibly get sneaker horse into somewhere by making it look more like two men dressed as a horse. I mean, who would prefer tomorrow?

I'm picturing the next mission impossible movie Where about but with a horse? Right, so they pull off that rubber mask I mean it could just be a guy with what's like that? That the disease where your spine curls. Oh, yeah, yeah Scoliosis if you play a guy with scoliosis Maybe two guys with scoliosis. Yeah, I'm yeah, yeah. Scoliosis, if you play a guy with scoliosis, maybe two guys with scoliosis, you don't have that.

Two huge guys with scoliosis. Or could be two huge guys with scoliosis carrying a guy with a real straight back. Yes. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that way, that way you can go, oh, there they go. And then you let them into your high security.

Absolutely. I think this is a thing. It's a horse horse costume man costumes for a horse. Yeah. If you put a paper mache up a half of a guy on the back end of a horse and you had it like that we're carrying like a big box. A chest. Yeah. Absolutely. People already do this with the I have seen this as like as a costume for dogs or something, right? You can make a little thing and it looks like your one dog is two dogs. Yeah, right, okay, yeah, yeah. Carrying a thing.

Yeah, yeah. Mid-section of a dog, probably. I can't imagine any of that. If you could mix that, like that kind of costume, but with one of those ones, you know that guy who would have like make it look like he's all five of the Jackson five. But the middle one is a dog, like a dash under something like that. I don't know. Yeah.

I've got man costumes for horses, but I think, I think just the concept of also costuming animals to look like humans. Right. So you can get them into things. Is a whole new world that maybe we know. I don't think it's a new world. There's also costuming animals to look like humans. Right, yeah. So you can get them into things. It's a whole new world that maybe we're gonna be able to- I don't think it's a new world. Like a scene costumed chimps to look like,

like smoking a cigarette, but I had on on on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, you know. Lost a lot of money to one of those ones. But like, did they change its face or did they just put some, a few clothes on? Yeah, they just put like a hat on it. No, no, I think they got it. They got to like, they got to face or did they just put some and a few clothes?

Yeah, they just put like a hat on it. No, no, I think they got it. They got to like, they got to do like white girls, you know, like, when a white chick's in the room, yeah, white chicks, but with chimps or horses or, you know, chickens. Chickens, a bunch of armadillos. You know, if you could, like, I think armadillos,

you would just sort of pour them into clothes. Yeah. Like, are they rolled up into bowls? Eventually, I assume it's of pour them into clothes. Yeah. Yeah. And then they... Like, are they rolled up into balls? Eventually, I assume it's on the way down. Exactly, they fold, but it's probably... Yeah, it's probably. Oh, so do their feet stay up?

No, I just mean you'd put up two flat ones for the fat one. You'd want a course, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. That head would go nicely, you know, with your shoe. And the hands would be faces, or heads. And I think a big part of the... I think a big part of the trick with this kind of stuff

is it's got to be, because your mind won't let you see a mayor a suit full of armadillos right? Because it's just so implausible. Like you've got a, like a chimp dressed as a person that's almost plausible. So your brain might go, that's pretty, that's a man as a champion might go that's pretty and we've seen it as a channel. You've seen it so you've lost money to one so yeah absolutely. You're not going to fall again.

Yeah, a trench coat it's hard to not give money to a person in a trench. Exactly. But especially a hairy. I'm really hairy man. Because you think it's Robin Williams. He's back. Oh. I was so excited, he was back.

But the further and further it is from a human being, there's no way you would ever think, oh, that's a bunch of armadillos poured into some sort of net time shape, suit. You know, I've just thought, it must be just a terribly ugly man. I've been trying to find a context in which you could use these. Like, why are you sneaking animals that look like humans into somewhere? Right. So what about this? Right? People have loved ones that are missing. Right? Now, nothing will make

them happier to think that their loved one is back. Sure, yeah. This might not be a great idea. I've loved it already. I mean, I'm more, it sounds to me, Alice, here. Like you're gonna bring a lot of joy to people who've experienced the greatest loss that you can have a feel. So I'm on board. So sure, okay.

I don't need to hear any more. There's no deception in this, is there? Exactly, this is a good, not yet. Well, that comes from a good place. Yeah, I haven't mentioned the deception yet anyway. You knock it. There's a knock at the door. Who is it? It's your it's your missing loved one. They open the door, excitement and nothing but, you know, emotion on their faces. Sure, right? They know they realized straight away. It's it's not them Right, okay now they would be disappointed yes if it wasn't the next best thing

12 Labrador puppies In like instead of in Dungarees. Yeah, that's pretty good. I don't know I mean you could just give them 12 dogs, but you want to give them that initial high. Yeah, I think it's all about emotional rollercoastering. You're telling a story. Yeah, it's a journey. I mean, yeah, you don't want to really be there. Like after you've said it's your missing loved one, you have to get out of there because you don't want them to have a human face that they can get angry at.

Yeah. Or attach to like a baby bird that's lost its mother. They're very receptive when they come out of the egg and whatever they see, they might think is their mother. Like a duckling that follows you around. Exactly. Exactly. So do you think that in this moment when they're primed to see their long lost loved one, if they see you, yeah, they might not, you know, realize that it's actually the, the Labrador's the 12 Labrador's.

Yeah, so then they don't even notice the Labrador's at all. That would be disappointed. They might just think, oh, it's a man who isn't my son. That's the terrible prank. Yeah, and that would be completely... And then you would be making them feel sad, which is the opposite of what you're trying to do. This is about bringing joy. Yeah. The greatest joy. Yeah, and I think we would film it

and it would be a series of YouTube videos. Yeah, because I think people love pranks. They do. People love seeing people re-enighted with people they haven't seen for a long time, and they also see people re-enighted with people they haven't seen for a long time and they also see people re-enighted with animals. That's exactly it. This is three types of videos in one and it's mean. Yeah, exactly.

All these things, YouTube loves. But then also super tender and loving. Yeah. So I think it is that journey you were talking about. It's a billion hits per video. And then at the end, could they maybe, I don't't know cook the world's biggest bacon burger or something like that And one guy has to eat it. Yeah Or else they kill them

Oh those ISIS videos they get a lot of views Think about what's that you know like lie is it lively? What's that that? think about. I wonder what's that, you know, like, lie, is it live leak? What's that, that video like? That's a thing. Is it, is it that, there's like a, like a YouTube type chat, like, website, but it's, I think it's, is it live leak? I've never seen it, but I know this exists, yeah. Is it just like a place of hot, with horrible things? Well, there's some, there's a lot of horrible stuff, and I imagine that's where you would go to see a lot of ISIS videos if you wanted to. But it's just like another world of streamable videos, but I never go there.

And there's less control last year, and I remember it's not owned by Google, so I can just be like, this is a man being the head of. This is a man out of Amadillo. This is a person. Yeah, this is a person. You know, Google had shut that down. Yeah, I don't want you to say that.

Well, you know, that's what happens when you put a huge corporation in charge of a company that they invented. He is a... Here's a... yeah. Here's a... here's a thing. Yeah. Right?

It's an alternative. You were trying to come with a good excuse to make a man out of puppies. Yeah. How about this? It's a show called Armadilian Air, right? Okay. And... I like the bass. It's a lot of, it's kind of like Joe Millionaire,

remember that I'll reality TV show. Was that the one when he wasn't in Millionaire? He wasn't really a Millionaire. Yeah. But he was a man called Joe. That part was real. A real man. But the extra layer on that would be,

if he'd actually been a whole lot of Armadilis. That's true. That's true, yeah. Because the test in Joe Millionaire was do the women still love him when they find out that he is not actually a millionaire? And then I'm pretty sure they gave them a million dollars at the end.

Oh great. Yeah. After they said they still loved him, right? I think it even being a test of life on that show, it was like, yeah, exactly, right? But you wouldn't be anticipating that it was actually a bunch of armadillos. Fuck no.

And then like, if you really, like, first we reveal he's not a millionaire, right? Then we give you a million dollars. And then we reveal that he's a bunch of armadillos. And then if you still want to marry him, then we give you, I don't know, like, 10 million dollars. Yes. But he's still armadillos. But he's still armadillos. Yeah. But then you have to split the million dollars amongst all of still armadillos. But he's still armadillos. But then you have to split the million dollars

amongst all of the armadillos. That's okay. But then it does lower it. I think maybe you could be, you know, like maybe 80K out of it. Yeah, it's good. It's not bad for like a couple of weeks' work or whatever. But dating 12 armadillos, yeah, that's fun. Do they have to consummate?

I don't know if they often do in those shows. They don't have to. Yeah, but this one they do. I mean, I gotta feel like that's what you're shooting in for. As soon as you see the title, I'm a delineate. You're like, I'm gonna see somebody fuck a bunch of armadillos. Unknowingly. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Unknowingly. Initially, I always do. Oh, yeah. Oh, well you're right, unknowingly. Initially, I was just kidding. Oh well, that's... That's the show! That's the show. That's the show, and I'm sorry, but we have to be a bit cruel. It was all there in the release, if they just read it thoroughly. Page four. I mean, they probably would have to put some of those like clauses in there when you

kind of do one of those trick shows. You kind of probably have to hide some stuff in there and just hope that people don't read it all. Like the fear factor all, I mean the jungle, what's happening? Yeah. Like you might have to eat a handful of ants or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It's just a little fire. It's just a handful.

Just a handful of ants. I mean, just like yeah, just grabbing them, they're just, they're all crawling around. You can only get the ones that remain on the front of your hand. And you try to throw them in, they, you know, and like all those bugs just seem to have some amazing ability to not be throwable. That's true, yeah. A flickable. Yeah.

Get them in. You want to shake them off of something. They're like a wet hair. They've got the, you know, they got the clingingness of a wet hair. So, whenever it's referred to like a partner that they don't love, as like they're clinging like a wet hair, that's someone you really hide. That's what you were quite into.

You're shaking, you're shaking, you're shaking. And you think it's gone, but it's on the back of your hair. Yeah. Anyway, that was my year 11 girl. I'm pretty sure at high school I was probably that guy for a girl. I'm fairly confident. I absolutely think was one when I was in year nine I dated a girl in year 11. Oh wow.

That's a big step. It was a big issue. I don't know but it's like this is weird period of time where like three of us were. You were in a country town though, right? Country town. Okay. Got you. Yeah. That makes sense. There wasn't that many Bachelors. Yeah, wasn't that many available you know Yeah, I think maybe their math was too advanced or something. I don't know. It's possible or no I was doing advanced math so maybe I you know

I was working at a year 11 level I can't buy math or at least a year-level like sort of one unit Forget it Certainly do you know? I don't know He's spoken like a true advanced mathematician Forget it. Don't worry about it. It was years ago Yeah, I don't know where I was going with it. The go. You was saying that yeah

years ago. I don't know where I was going with that. The girl. You were seeing her again. I was seeing her. But then at one point, the real-to-age difference started to show. Yeah. I think she wanted me to go the next step. Well, she didn't make it clear, but at some point when she broke up, she's just like, you know what, I'm a woman and I need a little bit more. She said that? It was something in those kind of words. Yeah, right.

Yeah, look, I don't remember. But anyway, it was only like a couple of years after that, she had a baby and everything. Oh my God. That could have at the time when you're like, this is heartbreaking. But then she's like, Jesus Christ. I really got to that bullet. Yeah, you really did. You know, I am in year 11.

Yeah. That's right, yeah. I could have had a child. I was doing the kind of math that I was doing two years earlier. Cause I was gone to a lower level. There's a huge maturity difference between those two as well. Like men and women at that age,

and also big two years younger, that's crazy. And you're in nine, I mean, that is the worst year. You know what? And I had, I actually dated line. I mean, that is the worst year. You know what? And I had, I actually dated two girls in year 11. At the same time? At the same time. No, it wasn't like a, no, no, no, no. It was both at the same time and the date I planned for the same restaurant at the same time. But luckily one of them thought I had like a little bum-fluff mustache.

And so I put foundation on and then come back out. Luckily I managed to convince them to both come dressed as a horse. The same horse, and for it was only one date, and all I had to do was sometimes address my loving comments towards the horse's anus. to do was sometimes address my loving comments towards the horses ain't us. You really handled that situation. Yeah, luckily. Anyway, they broke up with me. See, that's a real flip on the Mrs. Doutfire to dining situations at the same time. It can undram. Because always, people are trying to be two different people

to satisfy these two different tables. But if you could convince the two different tables to be one person, that would really make it a lot easier. It's a living, yeah. Or two non-human things. If you got one to dress as a horse, or one to come dress as a horse, you know, or one to come dress as a fridge, another one to come as a mattress. Yes, Alice, did you send this?

This is a themed party. It could be a themed party, it could be like a restaurant that's like, you know, it's just a pop-up restaurant that's kind of garbage themed. Or animal themed. Yeah, or animal-themed. Like, you know, it's set in a stable. You know, one of those things, like, what's the kind of meal that you would just eat when you're, you know, you're, you're just a vagabond and you need a place to stay. You find a bond. Maybe like you strangle a rabbit or something and you cook it on a open fire. It's like it's one of these advanced cooks who's trying to recreate that experience Yeah, it's horses. There's a smell of horse manure around. There's hay. There's different levels. I'm picturing

Wooden land a lot of another level up there more hay. They keep more hay. Yeah I don't know how they're doing it at that.. They didn't have fork lifts back in those days. They literally just have to carry, hey, up. I think they toss it up like a fork. Pitch fork. Oh, well, other. Pitching, sorry. Some of them would do it together, I assume.

Oh, yeah. I was picturing this guy didn't have any arms. So, obviously, obviously, it's simple to come up with an idea when you picture them with arms. Yeah. A little bit for. So this is a Banyat-themed restaurant. Are we scrapping that you have to dress something? Look, I guess you could just come as a farmer or...

So this is making it easier? This is making you two types that you'd organize at the same time easier. I mean, you may have organized this, the both dates at this place already, just by accident. So you didn't invent the place. You didn't have to craft the restaurant bun. Because it feels like if you were organized enough

to invent the restaurant, then you would have been organized enough not to date them both at the same ban. Because it feels like if you were organized enough to invent the restaurant, then you would have been organized enough not to date them both on the same day. Oh, but what if your rest of your calendar was full? That's true. Like you literally had no other windows. When you're running a restaurant, you're very beautiful. Busy restaurant, okay? Sure, okay.

And you look at your diary and you flick through it and there's only one open space, and you have to go on a date with both of them. Yeah, that's true. Because it's your anniversary. Yeah, so for both of them. For both of them because you got together at the same time. You got to the same time. On the opening night of the restaurant one year ago.

Exactly. But the question is when you do have a restaurant like this where you can quite easily get away with this trick. By by dressing up these things. By the way, Alistair, it's not at all clear how this helps you get away with having two acts at the same time. At no point from the moment you pitched having what is a mattress and what is a fridge at this horse themed restaurant. Have you explained how that helps you? It does seem to be getting more complicated. Yeah, it goes. Well, while it's funny that you should say that because I was about to say, you're getting

away with it so easily that it's a surprise you stop it just having two dates. Right. Okay. So, okay. So you just need reasons to leave the table, right? That's all good. So you still at a table. Okay, first of all, you know, all of this is a table. I mean, it's like, you know, it could be a wooden box.

Sometimes it could just be a sort of a nice shaped pile of hay, a lot of manure. Yeah, pile of manure could be just on, your plate could just be teetering on the edge of a horse stable Yeah, so that's why you get one to dress up as a horse. She's in the stable and the actual, you know I'm still not clear how to get the commas a horse It's that's the restaurant. It's your eyes. Sorry. It is. You know When you know like you know partners love an exciting

Man who who gets shows them new experiences that has a sense of humor. If there's one thing I know, that's the case. So, right, that's one partner's love. So, let's say this first one, this first, let's say she's a lady, you're, she's in the, she's in the stable, you got the door closed, your plates are teetering on the edge of that door, like that, right? Yeah, okay. It's going on to kind of thick ledge doors at the top there sure but they're not unreasonable but the the plate doesn't feel that safe okay no right no no it's not like a horse balancing between two buildings it's that's right both are guys

definitely yeah and then and she also knows that you run the restaurant so at some point you can go oh sorry my idiot restaurant manager doesn't know where the plates are. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I gotta go point out the pile of manure that we keep them on. Okay. It looks like a pile of manure, but it actually just opens up.

And yeah, and it's just a nice regular cabinet, right? And then somewhere then you've got another, no regular kind of cabinet, possibly bay. It looks like. And then you got got another... No, regular kind of cabinet, possibly, babe. That looks like it. And then you've got another gal, right? Yeah. In the spickstock. That's...

That was it! It's still not any fan. It doesn't help. You've got more things to do, but it's not easy. Oh, you've done this just better than I can. And then in that section, the style is actually itself. The trough looks like a trough, it's actually a bain-marie and it's like a buffet. So you have to keep getting up anyway to go get more plates of food. So you have

another reason to keep getting up and you tell one of them, you know, like the fish, oh you go I think that fish was the wrong way. That's another reason. Did your restaurant get you? I mean, I've been scripted yes. Not only do you get to get up to go to the bathroom, you also get to get up to go yell at the kitchen staff. Death course, yeah. Things like that. You know, maybe you can pretend like some health inspectors in. Oh, you know, that's three reasons to get up.

And you could silence the silence. I don't know this test. Why a health inspector would be at this restaurant? Everything seems perfectly apart. That pile of manure is clearly a cabinet. And she's probably a regular cabinet. So I think that's a good twist on the two dates at one time. Yeah. Like sort one time. Yeah. Like, sort of, seam.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely right. Despite, yeah, dressing them up and then building this restaurant around. You've been riding for a year. Yeah. So, yeah. Can we have another one? That's a restaurant and it's called Filth, right?

And what it is, is it's like a really unhygienic restaurant, right? But actually everything's incredibly clean and you get a plate of food and it's got like, it's got like mouse droppings on it and like a cockroach or something like that in your pizza or whatever. But it's not real mouse droppings, it's like little cacao, little balls and nibs. Exactly. It's a very clean cacao. It's a... it's the matradine. It's got a little bow time. I mean that would be amazing if you could have your meal served by

cacao croutches sort of like Joe's apartment. Oh I haven't seen that. It's about a guide that lives with cacao croutches. And yeah, Joe's apartment. It's about a guy who lives with cockroaches. And do they like Joe's apartment? So even the dude from Sliders, Jerry O'Connell. The little burgers? That's a good one. Very good. Write that out. Yeah.

Little burgers. Dom thinks said. That is about the size that a cockroach could carry. So it's not so short. That's not bad at all. It's a good suggestion, thanks. Yeah, I feel less Dom. Thanks.

But I mean, you did really, really well. really well. Everything you say is really well. This is a safe place. Yes, yes, but basically he moves into a apartment and it's in Fest with cockroaches, but they clean it up and they help him get a date and whatever. The cockroaches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, Gerry Oghonel's career. What a world ride.

Yeah, but I can imagine getting that script across the desk and thinking, you know, what this is something. This could be the next, this could be the next uh, kangaroo jack. This could be the next. What was the last big movie that where a guy's life is fixed by cockroaches? I mean, like the only thing I can associate, like

it reminds me of upon seeing none of it is is that, what was the Dave Chappelle one where they got high all the time? High times? No, that wasn't high times. It was, anyway, forget that one. It was a really early one. Him and I think Neil Brennan wrote it,

had Jim Brewer and it was all about smoke and weed. Anyway. Nice. Nice guys, right home. All right, peace out. For 20. I'll be back soon. I'm gonna go smoke a dooby.

That was in the Friday Eriye shoot. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Look, I miss just bad kind of really dumb, not bad. Like, you want them to still be funny, but just kind of like comedies that don't seem like they've tried too hard. How do you feel about Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle? That's my example of like the last one of those

that I've seen where I've been like, see, this is a movie that I laughed at. Yeah. And it's silly, but it's simple premise. Simple, it's a dumb comedy. And yeah, but it's not dumb in the way that it was just really bad I was like I genuinely laughed. I missed that. You're out of tiger or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, could you get a maybe? Yeah, that's right. Dude, dude, we just read it.

There's a kid. Yeah, dude, we just read a cheetah and he goes, forget about the cheetah man. I remember liking that movie. Yeah, one of the scenes I loved was just like, they just pull over at some point to just take a pissing off the side of the highway. And then he goes and takes a piss, and then out of nowhere, some guy just kind of appears and just stands right next to him and starts pissing.

He's like, hey man, what, why are you standing here? Oh, you got a ho- oh, is this your bush? Anyway. That was a good moly. I enjoyed it. Anyway, we don't always just quote other people's movies. No, no, it seems from funny films,

but it feels very relevant to this conversation. A great. Now, I have four things written down. I don't know if they're all sketches. Yeah. But was there anything in any of this cockroach stuff? Oh yeah, right, sorry, yeah. I think the filth restaurant. Yeah it's called, sorry I derailed that. It was clean, but it was all, it wasn't

maestro, because it was. Oh yeah clean, yeah. So just clean filth. It could be called clean filth. And I'd love it just for the, for the health inspector when they come in. They're like, aha. But they do a swab. Yeah. They come in, you're like, ah-ha! But they do a swab, spotless. Delicious. Yeah, I think that would be a genuinely good idea for a restaurant. If I-

The kind of the great thing is that even if you don't have a few mouth droppings, I don't know. It was not trying all the mouth droppings. No, exactly. Exactly. It's like one of those drug cartels know gets a bunch of pineapples in into your country and only like one in a hundred is filled with heroin. That's it. Yeah, right? One of the chances they're gonna

call that one of the chances probably one in a million Well and and also like but you can just be, you can be so fucked up with this. Like, you could have one plate that comes out that literally is just a soaking wet diaper. That is just like, you know, like a morning toddler's diaper that is just so filled with piss, but then they've also shit themselves. What if that happens? And then, usually the kid very rarely wakes up and he's shat themselves. Usually they wake up when that happens. Yeah, like, rarely wakes up and he shat them so,

usually they wake up when that happens. Yeah, like an infant will. Yeah, better, two year old, not so much. Yeah, two, three year old. Yeah, and anyway, so. We've got to got some good dad expertise. Oh, I'm sorry, yeah. So we've got this time.

We can really nail down that number. When we first started this podcast, we wouldn't have been able to relate to, you know, the dad audiences out there, you know? Definitely not. Which I assume that a lot of our listenership is probably like under 25. So hopefully a lot of those people had kids when they were teenagers and you know, like you ex-girlfriend. Like my ex-girlfriend who has made some great choices in her life. Do you have on Facebook? I don't think so.

The last time I saw her was when I'd moved to Canberra and she would just push her toddler around in the supermarket. She would use the supermarket that I would work at, even though this was like three hours away from where we went to high school. It was just this weird coincidence where a few years later we would just run into each other. I had the illustrious supermarket jump, she had the illustrious, is illustrious the right

word for a baby? Yeah, the illustrious parenting role. Parenting role. And then occasionally we nodded each other and it was pretty good. Yeah, separate ways. I mean, look, I wasn't making her the with how well I was living either so yeah Okay, so it's yeah, it's an even kill situation, but I know that scenario at that age. I know which one I'd rather be But I'm sure she was very happy the baby. That's yeah, man

What a world at that age had rather be the baby. Yeah, being raised by a 19 year-old That'd be sweet how little she knows I'd get away with so much stuff. She doesn't know what's right or wrong. Yeah, um, I look I think Phil Thresor, I would like to picture a plate that was just a gutter and there was just like an ooze. Yeah, I see it now. You've got people eating shit and ooze. I'm really like an unclean unclean. Yeah, I know, I know, not real shit. It just looks like shit, but mine's just an unclean like like a disgusting terrible restaurant. Oh, so you're still like serving a steak? Yeah, yeah. But it's just not rat dropping. So it's not like a, it's not made to look right. Oh, I didn't make that clear. Yeah, no, for sure. Oh, right, so you still got spaghetti and stuff like that. Yeah. just regular food but it just looks like absolute gyaar.

Looks so bad. Yeah. And the staff are rude and the place is filthy and rude and ugly. And they're really ugly. But it's makeup. You look closely, perfectly symmetrical. Everybody, yeah. Swedish models all underneath.

They're all at it. Yeah. They're actually Swedish models that use to work. And when the health inspector comes around and says, it's first and exactly, they pull back their mask. And then there are two horses. Now, if you could make two horses look like one Swedish model. Oh my god. That's a dream.

But I guess you'd have to do it from afar. That's a real dream. You'd have to do it from really far.'s a real dream. You'd have to do it from really far. I wonder how far two horses would have to be in disguise for you to be convinced that it was a regular sized human. Probably about as far away as Sweden. That's a long way, yeah.

You wouldn't, that wouldn't be convincing. That wouldn't be convincing because you wouldn't see them. Not be convinced. You could tell me that I were there. Are you in Norway? I always had as this work. Are you in Norway? How does this work? Are you in Norway at the time?

Like are you close to Sweden? Or where am I? Where am I in this podcast studio and I can't sit outside? Yeah, you can't see it. Oh, well, Andy, I think that was really silly. Sorry, Al. Yeah, because there was no realism to that.

I'm barrisduring in front of Mr. Sunday movies. I know. You did, yeah. That was the one thing you said not to do. That was one of three things I said not to do. But you can also have your restaurant. You can call it eight shit. And it's just shit, just shit, different types of shit.

So, but you're a place, like, I said, what are you appealing to still to families? Because like, why are you doing steak and spaghetti? Because it's a, it looks like a bad restaurant, but you eat it and it's incredible. It's the best steak you've ever had. Just looks terrible. But does the steak look like it was like rotten and then they still do it? Yeah, yeah. Like I just I don't feel like you're 100% committed to this. No I am 100%

committed. It looks a bit rotten. But you said it was like the worst restaurant. Like there's no restaurant that would feed you a totally rotten steak. Right? Yeah, probably, but this one, they just let the steak go a bit bad. There's a bit on the edge that looks to the tree. They just let it go bad.

No, it looks like it. He just said it. Yeah, they let it go a bit bad. Okay. It looks like it. Everything I've said so far just looks like it. Okay, gotcha. It all, yeah. All right. What about this? It far just looks like it. Okay, gotcha. It all did. Yeah. All right.

What about this? It's just that, like, it's a stake that looks like it's completely raw, but it's actually well done. Oh, that's good. Pretty good. I like that. Yeah, yeah. It's called... Kind of raw, not really. Not really raw. I don't know what you mean. I can't believe it's not raw. I can't believe it's not raw. That's perfect. It's part of your trick restaurants.

Well, I'd be good as well for if you like. If you want everyone to think that you eat your steak rare, but actually you want it well done. So you do embarrassed. You say, I like it rare. You give him a little wink. I like that. A lot of people would be embarrassed.

Yeah, yeah, really embarrassed. And so they just kind of have a steak artist at the back who... And this is like, this is not like a sandwich artist. Like this person is a genuine sculptor. They sculpt with... Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth

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of all time. Dedicated their life. Yeah. And they work fast. Like they work essentially, like not only do they have to work, because it has to be a reasonable amount of time so your meat isn't cold. But also the steak is already being cooked.

Yeah, it's too long. Yeah, yeah. So then you have to do it in between the amount of time. Anyway, it's just crazy. I think it's silly that we're spending so much effort to try and make things like tofu and beans or whatever. Look and taste like meat. When... Bear with me.

I mean, I mean. When we haven't even finished doing things with meat. That's true. You know, it's sort of like making meat look like me that's cooked a different amount to the meal. There's more on the spectrum. You can make it. I wonder about if you make a me look like a slightly different mate.

That's right. It's real, but it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah. It looks like beef. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, or it could just be like, you know, it's a tea bone, but you actually make it look like a drumstick. Because, yeah, you're going, you know, it's a tea bone, but you actually make it look like a drumstick. You know? Because yeah, you're going, you're trying too hard.

It's tea bone, but it looks like ribeye, I think. It's like, sure. I mean, look, I think that's nice. I was picturing what if it was a beef drumstick? Yeah, there you go. Beef drumsticks, if this isn't a thing, if you could get just, you know, make what looks like a roast chicken out of beef, but it looks like a beef version of roast chicken.

Beef chicken. Beef chicken. Do you think they could make just a beef chicken? I wanna see them genetically modify a chicken so that it produces. On a cellular level. You make it taste. Look at it.

It's beef. Is the chicken then hairy like a cow? If That's what it takes. I'm willing to compromise. Yes, I'm willing because then you could have chicken leather. You could go the other way or say to be honest this might actually be a good idea because chickens don't produce methane. Chickens are like the most popular animal on the planet I think and. And they don't, yeah, they don't, to come back to the cloaca for a second, Alan. Yeah, great. The cloaca. What a wonderful organ. Doesn't, doesn't produce methane. The official orifice of the two and the thing. Exactly.

Whereas you cows, if you want your beef, you have fat and all over the food. Yeah, we're ruining things. So this is now our, our beef chicken could really be the solution to that. Yeah, absolutely. And Do you think it would change the personality of the chicken? Um, what I just have a different pelt that a pelt that the sure yeah, the word for it. Yeah, I mean this really goes to a very understanding of the self. So I mean, it's it's pretty complicated. That's true So I mean, it's not really for us to answer. This is for, I mean, if Socrates or Plato were still alive,

I suppose these are the people we would throw this to. We would take this to them. I feel like you wouldn't know until you did it. Like, creating a dinosaur, you'd be like, oh, they have these particular habits. I think it would be the same if you made a beef chicken. Exactly. Yeah, you're right. Or by the way, you made a cow that had feathers and tasted like chicken were like, first, you made a cow that had feathers

and tasted like chicken. But even then, you're saying that your behavior defines who you are on the inside, which I don't know if that's... Or define what you taste like. What you taste like. What you taste like on the inside. Yeah, like our sort of bubbly people,

gamey or... Or even bubbly. Or bubbly. Yeah, do they have a fizz to them? I'm so delighted. Yeah, like a seltzer. Seltzer. Can you carbonate a solid?

Could you carbonate? You want to try? I mean, we've carbonated a liquid. So it's like a bread. Yeah, see? This is interesting. I'm not going to stick. I mean, stick.

I mean, could you carbonate a stick? Again, this is a great theme to do in a thick tank because we've been talking, obviously we've been talking about eating, eating wood a lot, right? But, but we've not yet touched on drinking wood, which, to me is the next logical step. You know, how long do you have to cook a bit of wood until you can drink it? Soft enough to drink. Soft enough to drink. That's the slogan.

Wood. Soft enough to drink, right? But hard enough for a man. Yeah. Could you burn it? Like it'll be a liquid wood that you could put in your fire place. Oh yeah, so that would be nice. Don't see wine.

Absolutely. I mean, I don't think the wood should lose its other its other Quality is just because it's also food Which it like so which you have like a log and you tap into it and it like flows out So I guess that would be in a bag like what it a yeah in a plastic bag sort of like a like a gun bag I think yeah, I think look I think they would probably end up coming in a sort of fake log. That's great. Like a clear plastic log, maybe?

I think that, yeah. There's absolutely no reason why that wouldn't happen. Because in the end, plastic doesn't degrade as much as wood. That's true. And but if he's especially liquid wood. Yeah. But if you did store it in a wood container, it would give it that kind of oaky flavor.

What? What from wood? You could really taste the spinach. But especially if it's like a maple or a eucalypt. You might want to give it some oak. And you're not talking about like shredding down a piece of wood and mixing it with water. I'm still looking talking about like shredding down a piece of wood and mixing it with water. I feel like that's kind of what they were promising because there is a drink called

oak, right? Okay, yeah, that's true. You have that and it's brown and it looks like wood. You open it up, you're quite excited. You're still drinking it on the, this is just chocolate milk. Yeah. And then you even advertise it. Have you seen the ads for Oak? That's those were the ones who did like the hungry thirsty campaign. Kill hungry thirsty. It was very man-focused. Very butch chocolate milk campaign. But I think it was a wood, if I think of a wood, we could certainly get wood flavoring. Oh yeah.

Right? And that's a step, no one's even trying that. They do a new colitis, but is it enough? And is that really a food? No. I mean, you have it in like a cough drop. Oh, that's true. Yeah, the cough drop.

That's the extent of it. Yeah, and it's also, I mean, like it's, it's, it's used in a Roma therapy. Do you consider a Roma therapy food? Yeah. Well, food for your nose. The molecules are still going into your body. That's true. The smells. Yeah, well food for your nose. The molecules are still going into your body. Yeah, the smells. Yeah, this is breathable cake. I mean, once you start changing the physical states of things, suddenly you just you're opening up cuisine to, you know, like we, we need

it our own island so that we can have our own local cuisines. Yes, right? Carbonated solids. I'm talking carbonated cake. Carbonated stick. What else do I have? Carbonated snake. Carbonated stick. Liquid stick.

Carbonated liquid stick. You know, this is a whole stick on a stick. Absolutely, stick on a cracker. I mean, that's different. But the cracker is made of wood. Anyway, I love it. Yeah. It's changing the physical properties of a food

to a solid liquid or a gas depending on what it is. That's right. And then you're jamming carbon dioxide in it as well in order to just give it a bit more, give it an edge. Like fizziness, right? That's edginess for drinks. You know, like I mean, sure there's alcohol, that's one way you can add edginess.

Well, it's kind of like a food that's punching your mouth, isn't it? Like every little bubble is a little explosion. It hurts. It hurts your tongue. It's a little bit of pain. Definitely can. And you, Becky, you know sometimes. Look, a lot of these were borderline sketch ideas, but I think that they were... The quantity and the enthusiasm with which they were delivered gets them over the line.

Exactly, great. They're going to get them over the line and we could put them in a cuisine sketch of some sort, but also look, there are essentially four restaurant ideas. And we could have a web series based on fine dining. I think so, you know? And the fuck heads who run them. Yeah, you know? So that's just, look, I'm gonna write fine dining

and the fuck heads who run them. Fine dining. Well, and the fuck heads who ride. Yeah, great. Although, I've just realized that there is, we do have some friends that have a show called Restaurant Fockhead. What was their show?

Restaurant Fockhead. Restaurant Fockhead. So just realized, so that really takes away the, well, I didn't know that. You didn't know that. And you laughed like it came from us entirely. I didn't remember at the time the origins of where these ideas were coming from. That's it

But look there's wasn't about fine dining. There's was about two fuckheads But the ours is gonna be about six fuckheads. Yes, so Take that six fuckheads or three horses. Yeah It would be amazing to see three horses become six fuckheads It would be It would be amazing to see three horses become six fuckheads. It would be... It would be amazing if there was two fuckheads per horse. It would be amazing if there was an awful accident in which three people, six people, dressed as three pandamime horses were all killed. Yeah, because

Wow, it would be tragic obviously, but if you just count the horses, it's not as bad. It's not so bad Because if I went if I heard three horses died, I'd be like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that sucks, but Now pandamime horses three pandamime horses died Now pantomime horses three pantomime horses died Exactly exactly Especially because I know those people probably had a great sense of humor Definitely and they went out doing one of the funnest things you can do yeah Pretend to be running a restaurant or running a restaurant a pantomime Horse restaurant look guys. We have to get to to our, we have our listener sketch idea.

Let's do it. This listener, and I've definitely picked these, these words from the list because you're here, because it's going to be in some way themed, at least to something that you're connected to. All right. So the listener is a Drew Piesner or Piesner? Mm-hmm. Hey Drew, thanks for sending in those words. Hey Drew. How'd I do it? That's Drew.

Is that short for Drew? Drew? Drew? Drew? Drew Tully. And his three words on which we will sketch is our Nick Mason. Oh.

Dead? Oh. Oh. We have talked about that on my show. I asked him, I said, if he dies, can I get somebody else, and I'll call this show, The Weekly Planet, without Nick Mason.

I think that's a nice way to honor him. I think so, and, but he also suggested that there's probably enough information and recordings of him where I could just recreate new episodes. Sure, you know, just. And how many more things can he possibly say? That's exactly, he said most of the residue.

How many quips could he have left in him? He must be nearly out. Especially on the theme of comic book movie. Exactly, yeah. What, like, Iron Man, why are he shirt so wrinkled? That's probably, he's probably said that. He's probably said that, yeah.

Yeah. That's probably one of the three quips that there ought to be made about that. At least about Iron Man. Yeah. I mean, but I think that would work with for Thor. Thor! Thor!

The wire, his shirt's on so on Iron. I think it's kind of one of those eternal ones. Yeah, it looks very much. Yeah, yeah. Although it doesn't seem like it would happen to black panther because his thing was so tight and kind of like like was such a material. It looked like it was a wrinkle free material. Definitely was, yeah.

Now, this seems very niche. I can't imagine this is the kind of sketch that you would perform in your comedy show. Just sure, but I mean, like, look, we can use it. We can reinterpret the words. We could pretend like it's a, you know, a mason, a person who makes nicks. Like I ask it.

By the way if if you By some freakish chance you are listening to this podcast and you don't know who Nick Mason is then he's obviously the co-host of the weekly planet Of the weekly planet which you guys should listen to it's a great podcast They're doing great things out there comic big comic book movies. Yeah, you know You guys are being out you were on the Ed episode. You were on the Ed episode. The fact that you let us do that is I was falling asleep. That was great. I loved it. I think I did see one person say it's funny how as soon as James isn't there, people start and straightaway start talking about Seaman on the podcast. I think we ended up talking about it. Do you keep it pretty tight

right on that? I don't generally. Yeah, I think it's unleashed. I'm into it. I think we ended up talking about it. Do you keep a pretty tight reign on that? I don't generally. Yeah, I think, you know, that's unleashed. I'm into it. I really enjoyed that episode. Since then, it's been a big feature. Yeah. Yeah. You know, open the gates. I'll see.

Is this, this feels like a Google search, you know, like, like, those kinds of searches where you start topping somebody's name. Yeah. And then it's like dead. Exactly. Joey, Joey for tone, dead, you know, he's name. And then it's like dead. Exactly. Joey Fattone, dead, you know? He's from NSYNC. Right.

Or if, yeah. Was either one who went into space? No, that was Lance, I think. Lance, he was planning on. Joey Fattone did the scene B in Australia, or was some singing show. Oh, wow. It's show.

Yeah. And was he dead at the time? I don't believe so. Was he in space? He wasn't in space. I mean, it was Australian TV. I don't know if they had the budget for it. Joey Fattone was like the bearded one. Was he a bit bigger?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He felt like he was the one who didn't have as much future career in him. Yeah, but it turns out. Yeah, right. He didn't. I mean, did. Is it singing B like a spelling B where you get kids to kind of guess what notes a song was made up of.

I think it was mostly just karaoke. Okay, sounds like it. You live in your dream and you've done it. All of them are that. They're all karaoke. That's what all those shows are, right? Yeah, karaoke. It could be one of those ideas where like, what if, say, you know, it's kind of like a,

almost like a Stephen King kind of novel where you find, where let's say we find, find out that every set of three words that we use in our, as user suggestions, somehow become true. Right? Now, I mean, that would be really horrible. I don't want to, you know, it's a good idea, that, you know, yeah, I'm like out with it. So what if, you know, but what if, you know, it could either be, maybe look, but, you know, maybe it's one of those ones like the Jeannie doesn't give you exactly what you want. So it's like, so you wish for Nick Mice in the big day.

Maybe we found out we were like, actually, if this is going to free up a spot on the weekly planet, there's a chance we can get at least one, you know, I guess. That's right. He's going to be pretty grief-ridden. We can get in there. So you, at Genie Comes, you get three wishes out, stay. Obviously your first run is kill Nick Mason. Nick Mason died, so I could go do a guest spot on the weekly planet. I'm thinking hopefully, you know, maybe there's like some upcoming movie, like maybe a new, then new Tarantino one that's got Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Yeah, I can get into that. And I got a few things to say about Tarantino in it work. Yeah. So I can go, yeah, all right. So you're going to tie around that. I'm not just pretty sad. Jesus, pretty sad right now. He's vulnerable.

This is like the will feral wedding crashes, but forgetting into a podcast. Exactly. Yeah. I'm just trying to date you podcast into a podcast. Exactly, yeah. So I'm just trying to, I'm trying to date you podcast in a podcast way. Which, with all your wishes be killing a co-host of a podcast. And now, you know, I've never, I would love to get on Hey fam.

Yeah, right. No, maybe I could just do one app. And I think maybe, like, and so maybe, but maybe the guy doesn't kill him entirely, but he kills like the part of the part of Nick Mason that likes podcasting. Yeah, okay, okay. So, I imagine you'd still be at least a bit grief struck by that? Yeah, it would hurt.

That would definitely, it would give it effect me. He keeps showing up, but he's just kind of not there. He's not even tuned out. Yeah, it's facing the wall. He does even less preparation. He shows up and he's forgotten who members of the Marvel universe. Yep. Yeah. And then it would hurt more because I'd have to be like this has to stop now because this isn't fun for either of us.

That's right. And that's the moment when you come. Yeah, yeah. I come in. I've got cake. Yeah, yeah, I come in. I've got cake. The cake is to like just to buffer to buffer the like the space between Nick Mason walking out. And you just offer him a shoulder to podcast on. Yeah, exactly. People always the shoulder, it's only for crying on. What about other emotions? Why does that mean? You're my colony.

When your tables, I mean, I would also have to maybe want your table to lose its stability. So you know if a table with a wobble, that would mean that my shoulder, and this is that's too far, I think that's too far. I don't know, is this a sketch I did? Just a guy who just wishes for podcast hosts to be dead so that... So he can guess down there. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think that it's interesting that you can't wish for somebody to be dead so that he can guess down there. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think that it's interesting

that you can't wish for somebody to be dead, right? In the Aladdin universe. In the Aladdin universe. But I mean, there's nothing that... You could wish for them to be brain dead. Brain dead, or just lose, lose. I think that was Aladdin's question. Yeah, but can you wish for them to be brain dead?

Yes. If that was a Latin's question, yeah, but can you wish it to be bright, dude? Yes! There's just a, you know, sort of an empty, vintage tube. Do you have a song about that? There's genuinely like so many things that you could do to Jafar with a wish. Yeah. That wouldn't kill him, that you could go, okay, I want him to stay alive, but he has no like all his organs are just exposed So there you go. Is he gonna be able to still stop me then pretty big loophole? Okay, I want him to be an inch from death. Yeah

Look, I just like I like Leap jet Jeannie loophole Jeannie loopholes. Jeannie Loupoles, absolutely. It's a great name. It's unrelated, but I know your cousin, Jeannie. Whoa. Yeah. This is probably an off podcast. No, no, no, I should admit, yeah.

Jeannie, jeannie. That's it. Jeannie. Yeah. That's not your last name. Jeannie, help out family. Okay. Um, of our many cousins, you, um, you doing you um you doing uh kickboxing? No

No, she's because her brother, right Neil is doing kickboxing. I thought you were doing kickboxing You very fit at the moment. I'm just hungry But no, because I a friend of mine from school was dating over engaged to her friend. No, very good. Very good friends. Oh, so nice. Oh, wow, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we'll probably cut this out. Never. I see, that's the thing. You really, you found out our weak spot there. All right. I'm going to go through it. Anything you say will go to air.

Okay. Absolutely. I got the sketch ideas. You guys ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. We've you say will go to it. Okay, absolutely. I got the sketch ideas you guys are ready. I'm ready. We got horse parkour. This includes horse tight rope walking. So first obviously we're just introducing the idea of horse parkour, right?

But where this goes? It's gonna look amazing. It's gonna be so good. You see your horses climbing up the side of this building and jumping and stuff. You can also just use the regular horse jumping tracks but the horses are jumping from the pole to the other pole. Like that. Right now that's going to be crazy especially with how wobbly and how much the little things fall off. Yeah. It's crazy. I'd like to see a horse balance on one foot.

Crazy, I'd like to see a horse balance on one foot. Anyway. I'd like to see that too. I see that this is a thing for me. Yeah. Mountain goats are practically there, and they've got hooves. That's true. I think it's possible.

You see them standing on like a sheer face. It's crazy. Yeah, I can't. I mean, they don't fall. I mean, they probably fall a bit. I mean, I don't look. Goats are great at horse parkour. Yeah. I wonder how many people would try and probably fall a bit. I mean, I'm a little out of luck. Goats are great at horse parkour. Yeah.

I wonder how many people would try and sneak in a goat. Well, he needs four goats. Yeah. Then we got man costumes for horses or other animals. Yeah, yeah. Within that, there's also the possibility, I mean, I didn't write this down, but there's the possibility of those YouTube videos where you reunite people with their long lost

loves But they're not that they're just animals and costumes that yeah if that was real that would get a billion views legitimately If somebody made that yeah, I think we could just make one yeah, yeah, you know, it's actually oh my god It's actually 13 snakes. It's so interesting, because like it's, oh, okay, well, the snakes, it is, absolutely, because you've taken out the joy, right? Really before when it was the dog,

so you're just like, really the concept is, it's the wrong kind of joy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but what if it's a person who loves snakes? That's true, you'd have to race it, obviously. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I mean, you don't go into this like like because you're gonna find out who if they have a long lost person That's really miss I don't care how much you love snakes. You don't Don't he's like oh 13 snakes and then they get down and they sort of that's you know

Let the snakes go all over them. I like dogs, but I don't want 13 dogs They would be. So would you pat them for a bit? Or these are your dogs now? Yeah. I think we're gonna... How long does the video go for? Yeah, we're gonna end the video

before the burden sets in. Yeah, but they realize like, what am I gonna do with all these animals? But I suppose, I guess you could either sort of you could put them all down. That's a live like video. That's a live like video. That's a live like video. Oh God.

Or they could sell them and then that's money, because dogs are worth quite a bit. Especially like you say Labrador's? Yeah, Labrador. The Purebred? Did I have all the documentation? Yeah, you could steal all from a puppy farm. So that way you're saving them.

Yeah, you're saving that could be part of the video. You're absolutely doing the right thing at every part of this video, especially the bit where you put them all down. Well, that's not in the video, you could do that. But why, like... Is that like bonus content? Like if you want... Yeah, it's a freemium model, where if you want to see the dogs get put down you've got a pay That's like a 50 dollars if you want to not see the dogs get put down you've got to pay 50

No, cuz then I feel like they're probably more people who don't want to see that. That's probably true Yeah, that's just a good thing. I'll put down a dog though. So you wouldn't put seat no You put them down, but you just don't show them the video if they pay the money. That's good. You put it at the very beginning if they don't pay if they don't pay your money. I don't know how these videos are going to become so popular though. It's a lively man. That's it. That's it. It's a wild web. I don't know any like live leak sensations. No. It's mostly beheadings. Meta filter, was that another one? Meta filter, was that anyway?

I don't know. In the early days of like just video streaming web? Mega upload? Oh, yeah, that's a little bit. Yeah. They do like TV shows and stuff. Yeah, legal. TV streaming.

Yeah, it's cool. Kim.com? Oh, that's him. Yeah, that's him. He's the one doing it right from so. Then then we got armadillion and armadillionaire. Armadillionaire. Was it armadillionaire? Yeah.

Okay. You should write it. Yeah, you better correct that. Oh, no, I think it does actually say armadillionaire. I just read it wrong. But armadillionaire, which is the reality TV show where you... You think it's a millionaire? Turns out it's not a millionaire. Turns out it's not even a man. Yeah, it's just a bunch of armadillos. But if you still love them, you get 10 million dollars.

But you got to split it with only armadillos. You're just literally armadillos. Then, then we got one of those same time dates scenarios where you accidentally, or on purpose, because you're busy running a restaurant, set up a date with two women on the same night the same time the same restaurant which is your restaurant so you get them to dress up one is a horse one is a pig and you keep going on the women yeah or more you could have one dresses as like as like the cat who lives in the up in

the hay at the top there. Because you got altitude. If you want the other two dates for the day. When I think about the perfect logical gems of sketches that I've tried to convince you to write down and you have refused. And that you have written this down when the central premise of the sketch is insane.

Yeah, is that okay? You don't want it right? I love it. Then we got Filth Restaurant, which is an idea. Thank you. You know what this is? For your use, it's like a slightly off spaghetti with a couple of rat droppings next to it. That's what it looks like.

But it's a great spaghetti. But it's a great spaghetti. With cacao nibs. Cacao nibs. You know, it goes so good. But it's a great spaghetti with the cow nips It goes so good. I guess maybe you could make the nibs out of like mixed herbs There you go. It's all untied real tight and brown Hestan's done this because he makes food food look like other things as he ever he ever made food, just look like bad food?

I think it'd be great if he made a feast. Like it's a buffet, but it's all in garbage bags in a dumpster. And you have, let's say it's like you all go in together and you want people help each other into the bin and then you got to throw bags out and you open them up and you feast on everything inside is fine dining, but it looks like a crushed

juice box and you gotta get the drips inside and it's like Moe Shandon. It's like Willy Wonka's magic chocolate factory but it's a dumpster. It's a dumpster filled with amazing stuff but it looks like you're eating garbage. It's Mo way of shan on, you know, juice box. Like if you ate something, imagine if the best thing you ever ate looked like a dead wet rat. What? Because this is a thing, right?

Because I think a lot of the time these restaurants, they've reached, they've maxed out on making things taste good and they're just hiding behind good plating up. Yeah, that's true, yeah. It's all just making things look negative space there. Yeah, yeah. The best chefs are exactly that.

They are serving up something that looks like a dead rat. And you eat that and still the best thing you've ever tasted. That's a good restaurant. Yeah, I agree. I mean, it could be a rat filled with spaghetti. Sure. And then you just suffer through the outer rat to get to the amazing.

Wow, so you're still gonna eat the rat. I mean, you're right. Now that is a good recipe. I'm gonna tell you what, it's like a challenge, you know. So it's the best movie you've ever had, but you gotta eat through something like an old bird. Yeah, you get to get to it. This soup is incredible, though.

A little bit of all part of this fine dining web series that we got on the go right now. Sort of an endurance fine dining or? Yeah, endurance fine dining, yeah, challenge. It's like, you know, extreme fine dining. Yeah. Like, what about like a meal, but you got to get plastic surgery before you can give it

to you through a straw while your jaw is locked up because you've just had like a jaw enhancement So you look like a superhero Fuck I'll say you've gone somewhere with that Yeah, but it's like you go even if you've never tasted fucking oysters like this like When your jaws wired shut and you know this is plugged up. Anyway, we got the same thing, cook a raw steak, make a, cook a steak, make a look raw, you know, and we got the carbonating solids, we got liquid wood, you know, these are all

these restaurants. These are just ones of the fans. Yeah. Then obviously we got the guy who gets, finds a genie and he just wishes so that wishes that people, one of the partners in a two man podcast, die. That's it. Yeah, I'm sorry.

I feel like I've had too much influence over this episode. No, it's God's part of the great talk. One guy dies so that he can maybe get a guest spot. Yeah, no, no. That's a druse of original. Okay, but say that happens, right? Say I wish for Nick Mason to be dead. I think it happened. Right.

What do I do if I don't get booked? Right. Like, what if I don't do if I don't get booked the next week or the week after that? How long do I wait? I gotta keep the dream alive. Do I keep wishing that whoever comes in is dead? I guess so. Until it's just...

I mean, I think for it to be a sketch that continue has some length to it, I think if you keep wishing like the next guest host or the next person who just comes on board, you wish them death. So I bring my wife on. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. You wish it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my now wish for this person to be dead. It would be all for nothing. What I love is that this is a known wish genie, which is the best. Yeah, what you did was you wished for all the hosts to die up until the point where I'm the host.

Ah, okay. So I'm even using one wish. How much you can roll into one wish, I think. Yeah, yeah, that's true. You could really stretch that out. You could count. You could do like a wish algorithm. You know, like a wish algorithm.

You know, like one of those ones like, you know, every time I take money out of my pocket, my pocket fills back up with money. Because that one, it's not like, I want a million dollars. That's just like, you're building in a system that is magic that continues with you forever. It's sustainable. It's really sustainable. Yeah. Long-term wishing.

Like, you could just wish, I want a new superpower every six hours. You could that could be a nightmare though. So yeah, you're just you're just on fire for six hours. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I I want you're constantly in that montage at the start where they're learning to get the hang of their powers. It's always different. Yeah, I was thinking they're accumulating as well. Oh wow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but still even if that's the case, while you have your incredible web-slinging ability,

you're still learning to get the hang of being on fire. So like you never, I don't think you'd ever get to, like, make the most of any of your huge array of powers because you're constantly being hit with a new power to get you hang up. It's like starting a new job and they just keep giving you new responsibilities. Every day they teach you one new thing to do. Yeah, but also after like a week or something like that, you would have so many powers. Some of them would also just be kind of lesser power. You'd be like, oh, now you're teeth are mirrors.

Yeah. You know, I think I got the hang of this one. I'm probably going to use it. So I'm going to use the extra six hours I got from just not really worrying about my mirror teeth situation to try and really get good at this, you know, water fists. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, my elbows turn defer. Like that. What would you do with water fists. Yeah exactly yeah I love that. Yeah my elbows turn to fur.

What would you do with water fists? Aquaman had a water hand at one point. Just hitting paper was magic to shoot water. Yeah stuff like that. But so he could shoot water. He would hit people and what they would just splash them? I know he could feel like it was you could hit someone real hard. Yeah like when you're like a solid. Like you slap him. Yeah. He could get a bit of cornstarch in there. Make his hand a non-Newtonian fluid. Yeah. Like his slap as soon as he hits gets really hard. That's good. Even harder. Is that what he did? That's what he did. That's exactly what he did. Cornstarch. But I wonder once you get cornstarch in there can you get it out? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a good question. Those are your hands start producing cornstarch. I never finished it. So yeah, but I'll have to go back. Definitely seem to have worthwhile. Check it in and just see how that wraps up. And then we got also just genuine loophole for the Aladdin Genie, which is a, you just get people near death. You know, that's not a problem. You can't kill people. Yeah, that's not going to bother me at all. I'll just have, oh, here I wish that he's constantly getting hit by buses. Yeah, whatever. What is that? It's terminally on this.

Yeah. I'm gonna stop. Yeah, that's not gonna stop me. I want his eyes to be like molten fire. Yeah, molten fire. Yeah. Whoa, that sounds hot. It'll just slowly burn down through yeah just a

man who screams blood 24 seconds there you go that way I stopped him Jovar is no not an issue anymore blood screamer blood screamer is a great guy for the for the for the Faro podcast. Extended Universe. Bloodscream. I'm gonna write down Bloodscream. And thank you very much Drew Piesner for your three words. And I think now we do this song. I'm doing it. James, thank you so much for being on the show. Anytime.

It's been such a pleasure. Where can people find you? I have a podcast with currently Nick Mason for now. Right. It's got the weekly plan. Have you checked in on that recently? No, I should call it. Yeah.

I'm sure he's on. Yeah. We'll be talking about movies and comics and TV shows. It's every the weekly plan. Have you checked in on that recently? No, I should call it. Yeah, sure. We'll talk about movies and comics in TV shows. It's every Monday morning. It's also on the Planet Broadcasting Network and other YouTube channel call Mr. Sunday movies. And that's more on my Twitter handles and various handles. It's all incredibly good content. Some of it's better than others, but thank you. You are prolific and qualitative. Wow. I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah. Well, I qualitative. Wow. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Well, I hate most of the things I make. So I appreciate that. That's how you stay making stuff. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. I think when you're comfortable, that's when you, yeah. You're going to keep making good stuff until you kill yourself.

Yeah. Don't worry. You'll never be happy. All right. Thank God. You can find us on Twitter at TuinTank. Also, I'm at Alistair TV. I'm at Stupid Old Andy.

Thank you so much to everybody who's been reviewing the podcast on iTunes. We read every single review, and we love it. I was looking at your reviews today. They're very positive. We're, yeah. We've been blessed. They're blessed. We've been blessed somebody just wrote about six paragraphs in one review recently. Or it we've been blessed. Yeah, we've been blessed. Somebody just wrote about six paragraphs

in one in one review recently or it's a big one. Yeah, right. Thank you very much. I have my suspicions on who it might be, but I got a really high tunes. User names are always weird. Yeah, but I got a firm idea. You got a firm. Yeah. And you can support the paid the podcast on Patreon if you desire patreon.com forward slash to in tank and $3 you'll get to suggest some words like Nick Mason dead or You can get the overflow tank which is a two extra podcasts a month and they are so far being a lot of fun. And silly, yeah. Great. That's all. So we know that we love you guys. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.

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