Two In The Think Tank - 146 - "WITNESS PROTECTION SCAM"

Episode Date: August 28, 2018

WPS, Witness Pretection, Vagabonds vs Troubadors, $3 Sample, Sky Divette, Crowd Gliding, People Power, Plummet Creativity, Human Millipede, Intelligent Slip n SlidesignThanks to everyone who supports the pod by chipping in to our patreon hereTwo in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereWholegrain thanks to George Matthews for editing this episode.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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this podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, b, and I'm Trumbly, and this is... And... Hi, I'm Andy. Matthews. Matthews, yeah, sure, okay, why not? We don't use your name to protect your family, but occasionally I do to throw your family under the bus. Ha, ha, ha.

Hello. I have, up until this point, been in a very mild witness protection scheme. Yeah. A preempt mild witness protection scheme. A preemptive witness protection scheme because I'm very observant. And it's only a matter of time before I see something of great import. Oh, that's true. Yeah. So forget the witnesses. They witnessed all they did was witness.

All they did was witness something, right? And I reckon you can probably pick a witness out of a lineup. Even before they've witnessed anything, you look at, you get six witnesses lined up, and you can see somebody, you'll be like, he may not be a witness today, he may not be a witness tomorrow, but he will be a witness. It's like minority report,

but for a witness, for people who witness crowds. Yeah, he looks like he could bystand innocently, you know? Maybe get shot in the leg. Sure, yeah. But then live to tell the tale. Maybe I'll be the one who, in a sort of, everybody gets killed scenario. I'm the one they leave alive to tell the story of what happened here this day.

And then, happened. But then after that, you have to go into witness protection because then they want to kill you after you told the story of what happened here this day. And then, happened. But then after that, you have to go into witness protection because then they want to kill you after you told the story. Well, once I've told my story, my purpose is complete. But that's crazy because then why would you tell me? Because they don't want, like a dead man, tell no tales. Yeah, but you already told the tale. Yeah, but it'll just get more boring with the re-telling,

you know, like once I've done it once, it feels like I've got the story out, you know, and it's just gonna I don't like it when I hear people Reworking a story also memory is distorted by the act of telling I know but I think that you'll you'll actually get better at hitting some of the beats as you tell it and You'll be able to put a bit more like you know Emphasis on on the good bits the juice juicy parts. And you're really like the narrative structure

and a bit better. Yeah, maybe try and add some details to what you were doing during that day. So do you think maybe like there are people who can become sort of almost professional witnesses who like, while you might have seen what happened? Yeah. This person really could tell the tale

of what happened and maybe their testimony, while less accurate, is considerably more compelling. That's right. They're not just a tattle tale. A tattle tale? Tattle tale. There were tattle storyteller. Storyteller.

Great. Lure, story tailor. Great, you know, it's straight off the stand and into the book stands. From one stand to another. One stand to another, yeah. And also if you wanted to be a professional witness, you know, especially if you wanted to get some of that great government witness protection money, get put in the house. I wonder what that's like. And I wonder if it is cumulative. Like say you do your witness one thing and then you go into protection and then you

witness another thing. Do you keep your original witness money and then also get the witness money for witnessing the other thing? First of all, I hope that there's witness money. Well, you brought up the witness money. No, I know I brought up, but I don't want to sound like an idiot. I don't want to be like, there's not a lot of people cashing in on, you know, make it sound like there's people cashing in on witnessing. Because I mean, if I knew that people were really cashing

in on witness witnessing, I would be out looking at everything. I'd be out there, I'd be in good neighborhoods, I'd be in bad neighborhoods. Why watch TV? Because that's never going to bring in any money. Yeah. No one's going to be like, oh, what did you witness? Oh, I witnessed all five seasons of the wire. And they go, get out of here. We got no money for you. Unless you can know you're right. I'm going to say review it in an interesting way. But I don't think there's that much money in criticism these days. It's hard to get a gig, especially the art pages are drawing up on all the major newspapers. Absolutely.

Alright, Alistair. Bam. Witness protection scams. This person is seeing crime after crime. It's almost like when somebody goes into a casino and they just keep winning their winners a suspicious amount. This person is somehow gaming the witness protection scheme and they are always on the scene of crimes witnessing things Mm-hmm, and they're living like kings. Yeah in a new house Every couple of months. I guess it's essentially a new name. It's probably It's probably like okay, for example people who live on the streets probably witness a lot of crimes. Yes

But they might not know how much money is in it right, they don't have a home to be given a new home. That's right. Yeah, that's true. They could, I guess the government would just take them to a different city and put them on the streets. I guess. But under a new identity. Right, which is probably why so many of them seem crazy.

That's true. I mean, unless, when they give them a new identity, can you can you get welfare twice? I guess the government would be in on that that wouldn't they would know about that scam. The government's in on it. Yeah, they're really in on these welfare schemes. No, but but because they also give you your new identity. They should really call it unwell-fash, shouldn't they? Why? Because you're unwell. If you're on it. Seek or something. Well, yeah, if you're on a seco something. Well, yeah, if you're sick, that maybe that's what they should call the disability.

That's it. Right. Do you think that would go down well? I don't know, on welfare? Yeah. What about not ideal fare? Right. Yeah.

Sub-pa. Well then that sounds negative. Does, doesn't it? Like, not ideal, it's like ideal in an ideal world. Not what is ideal. No, exactly. So they should all be called a not ideal fare. And that's the universal basic income.

There you go, not ideal fare. Yeah. Is that gonna be more appealing in some way? I don't know, but it treats everybody as imperfect. I like, can we go to, see, can we go to my idea of preemptive witness protection? Because what would be really great would be if you started out

under an assumed identity. And then when you witness something, you could just go back to your real life. Well, see, that's nice. I like that, actually. I mean, it's hard because who knows what your real life is supposed to be, but it lived your whole life in witness protection.

But it puts your life, it's like you've got a life with a built-in ejector seat. Yes. You know? Yes. And there's not a lot of like difficult paperwork when you want to eject. Essentially, you just hit the button. Which is seeing a crime. Seeing a crime. Yeah. But what are we pretty horrific as well?

No, but I mean like maybe you could just go see a guy who gives you early on a second identity. Right. I mean look I guess resetting your life by seeing a crime is very funny. But I was just thinking that you could go, like, let's say you go live 37 years, 37 years in Minnesota or Salt Lake. Delaware. Delaware. I don't know. I don't know why I picked, I don't know why I picked an American. It's in ways Minnesota. Oh, I meant Minneapolis. Oh, okay, great. Yeah. Minneapolis is where letter runs from, I think. Right. And you go, anyway, you do that, 37 years, at some point you go, nah, I don't like where this is going.

Yeah. And then you go, I'm going back to my original birth name like that, and then you move to Bathurst and New South Wales Australia. Right, so what was your, how did you have an original birth name if you lived your 37 years? Well, it was preemptive you got you preemptive, okay, great Remember yeah Preemptive that was your idea. I forgot you were building on my idea. I said

I'm always building That's right on the strongest foundation. I should I write preemptive Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, and I reckon people probably have a prime witnessing age of life. I'd like to look into this and find out what it is. Like when they're best at seeing, I guess, this pre-cataract. Pre-cataract, obviously. But also sort of post-navel gazing.

You know, I feel like a lot of, you know, the teens and something very involved, self-involved. Yeah. You know, not like the older people. Yeah, they never talk about themselves. I suppose you could, if you were really wanting to, I think I'll definitely like your idea where you don't just reset your life

by just deciding, I was just going, where I mean, you could go, I don't like it was just going where I mean you could go I don't like where this is going, but then you go now I got to go out and witness a crime. Yeah, all right That's your way out you could start a relationship maybe with somebody who abuses alcohol and possibly the people around them Yes, then you would watch their descent and eventually you see a crime. Yeah to you or one of your loved ones. Like they're gonna seem's right, can I just say seems right, I'm not sure what you had in mind or in mouth. Anyway, well, somewhere in my head,

my door mouth, yeah, I've totally forgotten what I was gonna say, but yes, you're right. You just have to set yourself on a path that'll cause you to intersect with wrongdoers. Do you think that maybe you could just do some research and just see where the bad neighborhoods are, maybe start walking around during the day, look at places that are good vantage points to potential high-crime areas. I think a stack of palettes, especially palettes with their sort of holy nature.

It's like to be behind. Something to be behind. Looking through the slats. Looking through some slats. Right. But also, if you could just maybe over time just build your own tower that was essentially a safe house for you to be in, but made out of pallets.

Yes. Wouldn't pallets. And so then you're kind of like, and I guess if you're higher up, you also have a more vantage point over more area, which is more opportunity. And this is all just to get out of your life. Yeah. Right. Because really, it feels like you've already changed your life considerably.

I mean, maybe you've already changed your life considerably. I mean, maybe you've already got a new life, you know? You're now living in some kind of palette tower in a bad neighborhood. Yeah, in a, like an alleyway in a bad, constantly watching. Yeah. I mean, what are you running away from? If it's worse than this, uh, well, if it's, if it's better, if it's better than what your life was. Yeah. But I mean also putting your life, you know, in the hands of fate in that regard, you know, definitely as a sort of a certain jwada viv to your life. Yeah, it's very... In your palat tower.

It's almost a spiritual sort of openness to the universe. But then the crunch... It's new experiences. The experience of seeing a crime. Or waiting to see. Sure. Because you might not actually see a crime, might actually be a better neighborhood than you thought you just. Well, I wonder if it's all about bad neighborhoods because you because some of the best crimes, right? I've sort of seen, I think, glimpse through like the window of like a middle-class family home. Yeah. Because some of the best people you have

crimes. You're taking out bins or something like that, laid it down. You see something through the light through the Venetian blinds, right? And then the neck, then you call the police and the police show up and they knock on the door and everything in the house is fine. Right. On the house where you saw the thing. Okay. And then the rather in your house. Oh, it's a bloodbath in your house. Okay. But the house where you saw the thing. That's. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. And then and then sort of events unfold over like, you unfold over months where it merges that the mayor, the mayor, murdered a vagrant. Who lives in the house across the street from me.

They were a well-to-do vagrant. Yeah. A sort of static well-to-do vagrant. Yeah. Who knows the mayor? In a paying job. I guess you know, think... Did you... you can have a blood test that would tell you you're a vagrant?

Because some people I imagine are like carriers of vagrancy, but they don't show any of the symptoms. I think you can often tell with people's teeth. I think it's sure. Dentsists are often the first to pick up on vagrancy. Yeah, I think a lot of sort of vagran is just a vagabond. I think a vagabond has more shwanda-v. Right. I see.

I could be wrong, but I think I feel like a vagabond has more Shwanda Veeb. Right. I see. I could be wrong, but I think I feel like a vagabond, their life is almost romantic. Okay. It's enough to make kings and vagabonds believe the very best. Right, so what about- I don't know what that means,

but they're hanging out with kings in that sentence. They can't be doing too bad. So what about one of those homeless people that rides on the trains? Have they got a banjo? Have they got a banjo? No. And they're a vagrant.

Okay. What if they have a banjo? Can they play it? Yes. Fagabond. Okay. What about they can't play it? They have one, but they can't play it.

They're a vagrant who stole a banjo. Okay. What about they can't play it? They have one but they can't play it. They're a vagrant who stole a banjo. Okay. What about it? It's a person who has a home, has a banjo. Yes. Can't play it. Okay. They are very rich, but they're on a train carriage that they hopped onto. What do they then?

Fuck it. Yeah, it's both. That's nothing. Wow, a true book. Could they, whatever? They're on the fight ahead of funny ends. But if they can play it. Oh, vagabond. Trubador.

Trubador! Yeah. They could be the voice of a generation. I would love. Here's a TV show for you. Fagabons versus Truba Doraes. Yeah. Yeah.

I think all that's the difference between them is home ownership. I think this could be the voice, the new, you've got talent, the new Australian pop star. Right? Yep. But it's for Tribadors and vagabonds. Yep. And what is... They're all living a house together?

Is they do an audition? Yep. Right? They make it through, they don't make it through. Right? And then they try and get in touch with them. The audition is whether or not to Sydney, they're already gone. The audition is lifted on. As whether or not they can get on the moving train.

Great. That's your audition. If you get into the carriage, then you get to do the second audition, which is the musical round. The second audition is sort of moving from town to town, getting in stripes. Okay. Okay. Do you have to solve any, you know, some like, local people's problems or paint their fence or...

I think you have to form a special bond with a young teenager. Okay. But then I think once you've taught them an important lesson, you've got to move on. And with the scrape, yeah, is that you sort of fighting off their bully and then teaching them a lesson? I think the scrape is more you stealing a chicken. Okay. Yeah. From, I'm going gonna say a chicken coop. Chicken coop. Yeah.

Or like a supermarket. I guess. Yeah, great. Barbecue chicken coop. I, what about... Wait, should I write down Fagabons versus Superdores? Is that a scary name? Yes write down vagabonds versus

yes vagabonds versus tributals um... it's it is it is it is it a reality TV show oh yeah like all that stuff we just described i think so maybe with a few it's got a few more lessons to you know

yeah a lot of you know and and what's great is that the you'd think that the vagabonds have sort of more of an advantage because they have such a sad story. You know getting them to this point. But the troubadours have a rich history. Yeah. And they're also rich. Yeah. They're doing okay. They have a lot of support around them, I imagine. That's right. But they've also burned a few bridges. Oh.

Yeah. I reckon. And the vagabonds were probably living under bridges. Under bridges. And they've actually burned a few bridges. They've burned a few bridges. They've burned quite a few bridges. As a result of some just...

When they're trying to cook that chicken. Cook that chicken under there. Yeah. All right. Samples in the supermarket. Yeah, free samples. Free samples. Yeah, you go up there. All I want is to have a live chicken there, right? And maybe it has to be like slaughtered or something in front of you. Yeah. I'm just trying to find an excuse to have a live chicken

murdered in a supermarket. Sure. So that sound like comedy to you? Free samples, in the free samples thing. Yeah, I feel like a free sample is like, well, okay, all right. This would be better. Yeah. It's a free sample, but it's offering like an experience, you know?

Yeah, can I, can I, this is not a great idea, but I'm interrupting your idea from what I'm talking about. Fuck, I had nothing else to it. Okay, I have a little something now, so I'll try and hold on to my idea. You'll want to write it down. Yeah, great. There you go.

Here's my idea, you know, free samples. How about this? Some guy in there, $3 samples. Nice people appreciate it more, I think, right? I mean, could you imagine trying to pull that shit walking around with a platter of things? Yeah. And then going, you know, you want, you want to try this? It's a bit of sausage skewer.

It's just like a single skewer, toothpick skewered bit of sausage that you've been cooking on a pan. At the end of the aisle. Your sausage, you go, that'll be $3. After they ate it. Oh, after they ate it? Maybe. Maybe as they're going for it, three bucks.

But I think, I think, or yeah, as they're going for it, three bucks, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And you're like, look, I'd have to be crazy to ask for three bucks to try a little bit of sausage in a supermarket. It's been sitting out here all day, right? Got this toothpick in.

I've reused those toothpicks, right? You'll put it in your mouth. That little thing where you put the toothpicks. Are you the customer or the guy? I'm the person, I'm the person selling it. Okay. Yeah, I take those, use toothpicks. or the guy? I'm the person. I'm the person selling it. Okay. Give it, yeah. I take those used toothpicks, pop them back over into the unused toothpicks, I use them again.

Why am I telling you all this? Because if I was confronted with a guy, give me a reused toothpick, room temperature, tiny slicer sausage, and ask them for three bucks. I'd say to him, that better be some bloody good sausage. Well, I'm here, aren't I? And did not just do all those things. So what are you reckon? I'll try some sausage. You don't trust the sausage. Give me god damn $3. Not anything. I think so. Okay, great. I think it's just bold.

I think it's just brace convention. It would really, it would build intrigue. I think that company, whatever the sausage company is, I mean, they'd be the next spanks for sausages. Right, exactly. Spanked. I mean, spanks, but for sausages, this is interesting to me. All right. If your sausage could have a figure, it's already inside like a stretchy tube, right?

Let's turn that into a, you know, like an appealing shape, you know? Yeah. Like classic hourglass sausage. Well, what if it's a sausage that when you eat it not only does it taste good, but it makes your body sort of shape change in such a way that it eliminates underwear lines. That's incredible. And then this will be great for women, this will be great for me. I'm paying $3 for this. You're paying $3 for a sample of this, right? Because this is... It'll just eliminate one section of my underwear line. A little bit of this. That's a little sample. Yeah, that sample will.

Yeah, it'll do, it'll do sock lines as well. Oh, wow. It'll do sock lines. It'll get rid of the sock line. You know those marks on your face. When you wake up, those will be permanent. Oh. No, I don't know if that's great.

Um, can I tell you my idea, my free sample idea, free samples for skydiving, right? One of them got there, they got a backpack and then they just got a little stool. Yeah. Right? You climb up on that, you jump off and they say, now what did you think of that? Would you like to go skydiving? I think that's good. And there's a similar one here,

bungee jumping, right? Sure. But they'll just do it for like your arm, so they just lash out an elastic band around your arm or something, hold that up and let that drop and fill that bounce up and down. Now imagine that was your whole body. I mean, I would love if they tilted you upwards

so that you were sort of horizontal to the ground. Yep, is this skydiving? Skydiving and then they dropped you into just foam or something. Sure. Or into water. Or just an inch right onto the ground. Yeah.

And then just a big guy. Yeah, a big guy, he picks you up. He picks you up. By like your like the back of your shirt instead of your pants. Back of your pants. Yeah. Okay. And then he just drops you onto the ground from just you know a couple of inches. Right. Two inches. What's that? Six centimeters. No way. Five and a half. Five and three eight. Five and three eight centimeters. Yeah. You're gonna get a rush.

You're going to get a rush in that room. First of all, you're not even used to getting handled like this. No. By a man. This is man handling. Yeah. And, you know, then they just sign you up. Do you think that they drop you onto like,

there's a picture of like, the distant earth? They think they've printed out like a big, like, there's a picture of like, the distant Earth, like, I think they've printed out like a big, like, a zero photograph, and they just hold you over that, and then they drop you down. Yeah, I think that'd be nice. And maybe he's blowing in your ears. That's what I'm absolutely. Ah!

Ah! Like, that is pulling your skin, your cheeks back, your cheeks back like that. You know, you could maybe like put some bit of vise in in your eyes so that the tears come up. Yeah, you should have wore goggles. You forgot your goggles, man. Well, this is what an experience. Imagine it's just a sample of what it's like to go skydiving and forget your goggles.

Yeah. I'm into this. Yeah, me too. I think you could also build up to skydiving, you know, by having him drop you from slightly higher and higher. Is it micro-dosing? Is this a kind of micro-dosing? I guess it kind of is micro-dosing, you know. I mean, it would be enough to inspire creativity. Well, I think if the people you know of

Silicon Valley I think a lot of them aren't trying this before their days work You know because I think the idea is that you're micro with micro-dosing is that you're taking a small amount of something Right to the point where during the day, it's barely noticeable, but you've just got a spring in your step. Mm. Now, a lot of those people would try getting a spring in their step by just putting a spring in their shoes. Well, these tech people, they think there's a tech solution

to everything. But there isn't. Sometimes the only solution is having a big man pick you up. Blow in your ears. Blow in your ears. Drop your teeth. Onto a photograph of planet Earth. Yeah, I mean, I feel like we came up with an idea only and pick you up. Blow in your ears. Blow in your ears. Drop your tears. Drop your tears. Drop your tears. On to a photograph of planet Earth.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like we came up with an idea only in like a month ago about a sky diving desk that allowed you to simulate diving while you work at your desk. Wait, I don't think that that was us. That was us. That was on this podcast. You were sitting there and I was over here, Alistair,

and we said that. I don't know. But this is very different. Yeah. This is a micro-dosing situation. How many people do you think it would take to recreate the full skydiving experience on ground? Like, what do you mean?

The amount of blowing that it would take. Mm, right. Do you think that if we all got together and blew up at the same time, we'd be able to make somebody hover? Well, I wonder. And I feel like big concerts is the place where people should be trying it. Because we already have what's that crowd surfing. We have crowd surfing, but what about crowd power gliding?

Yes. You know, what if like a flea say from the Red Hot Chili Peppers war squirrel suit, right? Put down his base. Yep, right. And then launched himself over, what would you say? 20 to 80,000 people. Yes.

And they all blew up at the same time. Yeah, they all blew up. They all, no, but were they were blowing air upwards. I'd say this is a tragedy. Air upwards. Right, yep. Yeah. I think that he would at least,

he'd have to get something out of that. He wouldn't get nothing out of it. But then after they've blown up, what if they also waved with their hands? After they've all blown up, I was gonna say they'll have to breathe in and then he'll be sucked down, smashed to, smash to the earth. Yeah, but they everyone could just angle their heads down when they need to breathe in That's true. Yeah, I don't think there's been enough crowd breathing yet crowd in a blowing

We've got to be getting to the kinds of volumes of Concert mmm goers where this is possible. I was getting to seeing the huge numbers that you get at your Coachella's, your Lola polooses. You know, to a certain extent, you're south by Southwest. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Although that's more of a sort of a trade festival, right, with multiple stages. Yeah, but you could be crowd for kite flying or something. Yeah, yeah.

Something lesser, crowds sort of, Yeah, but you could be crowd kite flying or something. Yeah, you know, something lesser. Okay. Crowd sort of a power. What's one of those planes that were made for gliding, you know, so a lot of the... A glider. A glider, yeah. See, a lot of, you're not really relying entirely. The plane will have already had a fair amount of momentum as it flies, as it glides across the stage.

But the crowd gives it that extra altitude. And we've also talked about flying a plane on a stage before I'll stay. Well, let me glide it. And not across the stage to get to the crowd so that they can blow on it to give it altitude. You can get an altitude. I want to know if there's some sort of a disaster situation.

A hot air balloon is coming down, or a plane is coming down, or something like that, right? There's a big crowd of people who are below the plane. So at the moment, the risk is it's gonna land on them, they're all gonna get hit and killed. What have they got to lose? I just say you just need one leader to get everybody's attention.

So all right everybody, we could get through this. We just need to blow it blow it away. Okay. All right and get everyone breathing together. Right. Right. Maybe a yoga teacher. A yoga teacher. They'd be perfect for this. They're all about synchronized breathing or... Alexander technique? Alexander technique. Alexander technique. Yeah. I mean I think they're all about leading with your head. I'm not entirely sure Lead with your breath anything Like that like Alexander technique or you know like engaging your core anything that's based on you got to think about it For a 100% of the time or you know keeping your back straight

You know those ideas. Hmm keep your back. Just pull these you go, but wait, are you thinking about it 100% of the time and never slouching? Is that what the idea is? Is that I got to I got to put all of my thinking power into this. And that is your solution. I have no idea. But if that's what it is, it sounds like a nightmare. Right? I think it is a nightmare. Because if I have to think 100% of the time to stop myself from slouching, then slouching is my natural state. And whatever you're trying to do to me is unnatural. That's right. You're deforming the...

You're putting in you in some kind of polyester state. Yes. Whereas your curved back is a cotton, sort of a morphe cotton. Yeah, now we have five sketch ideas, that must have. Are they? Are they?

Oh, where are they? Oh, what are you writing down now? Oh, crowd blowing. Crowd blowing, yeah. For crowd power gliding. Yeah, Great. I mean, I wonder if it could also work from an aeroplane. Yeah.

If you're all in the aeroplane. And the aeroplane is crashing. Yeah. Do you think that if you, I wonder if this is how I would solve it. The plane's coming down. Yeah. We just need to cushion the blow somehow. You know those masks, all the oxygen comes from, right? The ones that fall from the ceiling.

I reckon that's a two-way system, right? If needs be, you can get everybody to blow into those, okay? And then whoever's at the other end of the tube plugging in the oxygen for those masks, you just take that tube where the oxygen would normally come in, and you point that down towards the ground, and you say, all right, everybody blow. And everybody blows, and it just creates that cushion of air. There should be the people's engine underneath.

Yes. And it's an air blown engine. You know, like those old ships that you would everybody would paddle. Yeah. Like that, but with your lungs. If they're not going to give us parachutes, they've got to give us something to do in the event of an emergency. Even if you just told me that was what we were doing, it would give me hope to get me

through the, like, I just need something to occupy my mind. Exactly. Well, I still make me feel helpless. Stop making me feel helpless. Yeah. Stop making me feel helpless by not giving me a people's engine that I can blow power. Just tell me there's one there, even if there isn't.

Right? Is this not some kind of false hope protocol that they enact in these times of process? They should have a blowing straw that comes down. Yeah. I like the idea that we could just use the mask. I know, but I feel like filling in that air bubble that's there too. Oh, right. Well, everyone's got to hold that with their fist.

You know, you're looking at me with contempt. No, no, no. Is it exhaustion? No, no, no. I was focusing to start my idea and remember what it was. All right. OK, well, I was focusing to start my idea and remember what it was. All right. OK, well, I'm talking about my thing. Yeah.

So don't even look like you're thinking about your idea, else there. All right, so is this a hat? Because on Star Trek, I'm going to write down that your idea. Star Trek, the plane, the ship is always crashing or something's always going wrong with the power supply and then they always have like the auxiliary power supply and the manual override and all

that stuff. It feels like they've got so many options. They can always get power from somewhere and put it somewhere else and switch on a thing and it blasts them around at the last second. I don't think that we get those options when we're on a plane. It's pretty much the engines. There's the engine fuel. And then there's a couple of batteries. But you can't use the batteries to power the engine. You can't divert power from the batteries.

From the batteries. Yeah, divert power from the solar power. You think that they should at least just in case put solar panels on the roof. Just in case. You're closer to the sun. Then solar panels on the roof. Just in case you close it to the sun. Then you wanted the ground. Yeah.

Yes. Well, the sun beams are touching you. Where is the, where is the, you know, the ground isn't? Yeah. And the ground isn't a source of power. It's a source of motivation. Oh, it's a. And motivation is power, obviously, in a way.

Yeah. You know, but, but at some point, once you get up and so high on the sky, it's hard to keep that ground, you know, in your mind as a, you know, as a fear or whatever. No, I don't know. I reckon once the engines go, it's pretty, pretty top of mind. It's one of a feat as the case, maybe. But I reckon, Alistair, so far, we haven't found a way to turn sunlight downwards on a plane directly into lift. But also, we haven't ever been as motivated as the people are in those few seconds as the plane begins to plummet towards the ground. They are some of the most motivated people to find a way to turn sunlight into lift. It's true, imagine all the inventions that we've lost that were invented by people who were plummeting

to the ground. Oh my God, they would come up with so many great things. Because it's that last minute thing that happens when a project, you know, it's like, there would be that moment of clarity when you would just see exactly how you could turn sunlight into lift. And also like a lot, like when you're plumbing towards the ground, these people, they don't have time to worry about all the red tape.

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So it doesn't matter, these rules don't apply to you at this point. Yeah, must be so free. It's just such a shame that every single one of those has ended in death. If only we could simulate. A lot of the best inventions at Discovery's happen by accident. And there's scarcely a bigger accident that a plane falling out of the sky, killing everyone on board. So essentially we have to recreate these conditions

by creating a plane possibly. Have you picked up by a big man, dropping you towards, say an A zero, print out at the ground? Yeah. But maybe in a plane seat. Yes. Yeah, surrounded by other people in their plain seats. It could still be a man holding up this sort of great model of a play.

I would hate for him to lose his job. Well, we have flight simulators. We have flight schools. Exactly, but what do these all do? They teach you how to fly the same way that everyone is always flowing. Right? There's no new ideas coming out of them. That's true. Not a single new idea. But we just need a way to extract the ideas from the plummeting.

We need a plummeting simulator. Yeah. But then also, if you knew you're in a simulator, those ideas might not come. So it's gotta be like, it's gotta be really, real feeling. Yeah, well I don't think you know you're in a simulator. We take you out onto the tarmac. Get you into a regular plane. Get you into a regular plane. Those windows though, you don't realize there, oh, no, we fly up.

We fly up, we fly up, we fly up. You don't realize that those windows are screens, okay? But you still get the feeling of flying up, right? And then... Start plummeting to the ground. Start plummeting to the ground. And you are genuinely plummeting. Yeah, you are plummeting, but the screens make it seem

like the earth is closer than it is, but you're still about 10,000 feet up Exactly. You can come out of that dive You can come out of that dive and use all those ideas everything is recording And this that guy sitting next to you. He's a patent officer. He's a patent. He's listening Yeah, he's taking notes Person to the left of you is a prototypist He's starting to carve it

He's got the it out of the blue sculpture. By the time you touch ground, you've got yourself a working prototype. One to three working prototypes of however many ideas you've come up with. I guess as you're walking down the aisle, that steward, how long steward, they're an expert in presenting and you step out of the plane into the lion's den and you can picture your idea. So they're like a TV presenter. Yeah. But like they just invite you onto the stage and sort of, say your name to the live.

When I said next-grading presenting, I didn't mean a TV presenter, but I realized how that's possible, that's how that came across. I know, but because you're the one giving the presentation. Yeah, yeah. And so. No, yeah, but as you walked down the aisle, like giving you some tips is

all I was saying. Oh, right. I was trying to, I mean, I didn't say it. Like a little master class. What I was saying. It's a mini master class. Yes. As you're walking on the stage.

Exactly. And that's timely because a lot of the time you learn, you learn to skill, but you don't use it straight away. And then that info fades. But the fact that you got a masterclass in the hallway walking up to your presentation means that you can apply that knowledge instantly while it's fresh in your mind. It hasn't even had to leave your short term memory thing. And all of these ideas are novel forms of flight. Sometimes, you know, sometimes.

Sometimes they're just truths, like universal truths, about they need to spend more time with your loved ones or something like that. Oh, they wouldn't present that. No, you can't let them. You've got a blue sculpted model of you spending time with your loved ones. Yeah, it's not going to fly in the lion's den. No, well everything else though. Is it lion's eyes? Dragon's den? Monsters mouth. Sharks tank. Yeah, Kroffalo's cave feels weird that you know investors are such aggressive like

Predators. Yeah, and and that you almost have to convince them to Very aggressive. Yeah. And that you almost have to convince them to eat you. Yeah. To eat your idea. To eat your idea by giving you nutrition? Well, they take a portion of it, don't they? That's true. They take a bilating idea.

Yeah. The sense of how your idea gets better. All right, now. Plummet simulator. Yeah, for creativity. And this idea will get off the ground. That's great, you know, work. Get your ideas off the ground with our plummet simulator.

Good, like, you know, if you feel like you've got something in you, you haven't been able to get it out. Yeah. Yeah. It's good, my mind. Supposed it would also be a good for constipation. Yeah, if you've got something in you, you haven't been able to get it out. Yeah, and you're plummeting towards the ground.

So it's people who have, you know, want to have a world-changing idea and people who really need to shit. Yeah. Yeah. But can. But can. Oh, both. Yeah.

But can. But can. You're but can. You're but can. Yeah. You're not a big fan. Yeah. My idea that I was thinking about was just hell of a thought.

I'm not interested. It's just that when we were talking about that crowd blowing. Yes. And maybe we think about horsepower and how you know like you talk about a horse having 300 horsepower. No you don't. No. You don't talk about a horse having 300 horsepower. No no I said oh there's a horse has one horsepower. Yeah, so there must be some courses that have two horsepower. Sure. Right. Anyway, but what I meant is that people talk about cars having 300 horsepower. Yes. Right. And maybe wonder about, you know, like how if there was any ways of kind of getting of getting cumulative effects of power from large groups of people. And whether there is any way in which a big large group of people could work together

through some kind of crowd mechanics, biomechanic crowd harnessing, where we could turn ourselves into some kind of flying vehicle or vehicle that goes faster than any human could. The hard thing is the speed, the light, the hard thing is the light, I think isn't it? But waiting to find out how fast you can go. Exactly. But don't you think, I think like a bicycle goes faster than just a person, right? So presumably a tandem bicycle goes slightly faster than a regular bicycle, right? Because you've saved a bit on weight with the wheels and that sort of thing.

And also like aerodynamically, you've got one person right behind the other one so it's not as much wind resistance. But what if we didn't have the bike and we were just using people? Is there ways of just linking arms? And spinning? I guess if we were made it, made this, whatever this vehicle is big enough, right? We could somehow cling to each other's legs and become like the soldier ants, or the fire ants or whatever in the in this structure You're trying to be kind of what I'm thinking now. This is you know, well It's funny time when you speak it really gives me time to come up I do you want to so think of like an arch, right now, you know regular arch

It's like it's like a semi-circle. Yeah, and a bunch of bricks lean together and the force holds them together and they work. But now think of that working, getting two arches like that, right? But instead of bricks, they're people standing front to back. So like, maybe like a congeline, but real tight, real tight close like that. And so

then you get a full circle of people's feet on the exterior and their heads in the middle. Yeah. Right. And now it's like an endless millipede. Now, you see the problem with this ls there. I don't see a single problem. Well, well, archers only work because they're a semi-circle. It's the gravity pulling down that holds it together. But we're also linking arms. We're linking arms, and we're spinning. And we're spinning, and we're running. Yes.

And we're holding on to each other. I think this is a great idea I mean if a circus troupe of about it would take above a probably a circus troupe of maybe 90 to 180 people Yes, but I think I've just found a way of maybe doing the first human super organism that they could probably go faster than you know then At least an individual human and how do we see this being being useful is this like a A weapon of what I hate to hate to turn every this is just typical me and my military industrial complex mind

But it's a weapon Well, I think at first. He'll just be a motor transport Okay, and and maybe you know, it maybe it'll just be there to be seen. Because it's kind of like somebody doing a double back flip from ground, right? At first, it's just about achieving it. Has that been done now? I think I just saw a headline for a guy

who's from standing, he's done a double back flip. Far out, that's incredible. Right. And so this, this human wheel... That must look amazing, anyway. I imagine it really does. But not as amazing as this human wheel when you see it coming across the landscape. Yeah, the endless millipede.

Yeah. Yeah. Human millipede. Holding its own, burning its own tail. Well, this one won't, it won't have a tail, and it won't have a front. Right. Because it's an endless one.

So it's just the, it's just the mills. So human millipede, do you think people will think it's some sort of human centipede sequel? That's what I was hoping. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't get that at the tub. Yeah, it's okay. I was trying to play the dumb guy who didn't know.

Yeah, I know that's good. Well, fortunately, I was the dumb guy who didn't get the tub. Yeah, it's okay. I was trying to play the dumb guy who didn't know. Yeah, I know that's good. Well, fortunately, I was the dumb guy who didn't get the reference. That's okay. I mean, you picked up on the same joke. But I wonder if this could, like, if this goes fast enough, and I think possibly it could, this could turn out to be a great way to say get from Melbourne to Sydney, right? Because at the moment, we don't have a very fast train. Yeah. Right. But, you know, maybe you could put the call out, like say you want to get to Sydney.

You put the call out on Gumtree or maybe Facebook and say, hey guys, looking to go to Sydney this weekend. Hit me up if you're keen. We're going to do a giant human's millipede. Yeah. Right. And then maybe you get, yeah, if you're lucky, you get 178 ofipede. Yeah. And then maybe you get, yeah, if you're lucky, you get 178 of your friends,

who are keen, all right, and then you go, you link up somewhere on Sydney Road, meet up there, and then you get it all together. Well, just you'd have to start horizontal on the ground and then have someone tip you up. If you know what it just occurred to me, you could make a structure that you could just roll. Like, it's just a thin, very like,

aluminum structure, but that locks you in. So that you could just, it could just roll. Like, if you just formed a line of people, it could just slowly roll and you'd all slowly lock in and start helping push it. Yep. And then it would just spin you guys around like that. And then you could do it like five people wide.

Wow. And so that way there's sort of like it feels like, you know, there's, I mean, it would almost be terrifying to say this coming towards you, wouldn't it? Because like how to mention steering is very, well, everybody on every, it's the possibilities. Everybody's playing their part Yeah, other people on the bottom being crushed to death. No because it's not just like one person on the bottom It would be a whole

All semi-circle of people look I don't know I don't know else there I mean there's a whole semi-circle of people but how many people are actually contacting the ground at any one time I would say between between 40 and 80. So it's a pretty squishy circle. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I mean, it was just like I'm talking like, it's super squishy. Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like. It's not round.

Hey. It's not round. Yeah, yeah, it's round. But okay, you've got 180 people, right? You're saying 40 people are touching the you've got 180 people, right? You're saying 40 people, attaching the ground in any given time, right? That's a little over quarter of the surface of your circle of people.

Well, we'll get three hundred and sixty. Three hundred and sixty people. Yeah. And you still got 40 people. How many people, so you've got 40 people touching the ground, you've got 360 people in total. It's only, I didn't explain it, I people touching the ground. You've got 360 people in total. It's only I didn't say it was I didn't explain to the guy. I was talking uneven ground.

So you can only go sort of for one side of a sort of a valley to the other. That we one way of doing it. Name any other way. Right down human human millipede wheel The milli will the high speed milli will Good idea and then I'll write good idea next to it. Okay You're gonna write down the sort of the ratios of like how many how many persons body weight? I haven't done any of the maths yet, but really

But we can we can, that's a shame. Yeah, I mean, look, there could also be, you could just have leg. Each person is carrying a weight of nine people. Well, we could just have metallic legs that also stick out. Great, okay. What's the benefit of the wheel?

Why are we doing this? Well, it's just a new motor transport. It feels like you started out within a evision. Well, it was really quite compelling. It was a fort new form of transport made entirely out of us all linking arms together. Now, you just got us all inside a wheel. Well, they're not inside the wheel. We're semi sticking out. Metal legs though. Well, they're there to help take some of the load. Oh, in between people. Yeah. That's a good idea.

But it's still powered by human force, and that's still the achievement of, it's like there's no motor in there. It's this is man propelled. Right. I like it a lot. I think it could be the next Tesla. So what's better than electric car?

Cars that drive themselves, cars that are completely driven by people. With no car. All you need is a place to go. That will be our slogan. That's all you need. You just need a motivation to get somewhere. All you need is a place to go and 359 other people. Right.

And really strong legs. Yeah, but then also it could just roll around and in car like in in the wheel stations, there's just like holes where people can disembark and by letting go. You drop down as you drop down as you're full. Some of the else grabs on as it goes over you. Yeah. And that's really exciting. It never stops. Pollyver, we're all just getting in there little holes grabbing on. Yeah. Going upside down. Yeah.

Bombeting. Bombeting in their own nostrils because their ups are down. The vomit falls down onto the people below. Yeah. You know, who just sort of arrived and discussed throwing the direction of the wheel off slightly so that when you go over the next station, somebody gets their head crushed by one of the

metal legs. Yeah, we won't allow that to happen. Oh good, I'm glad there are systems that stop that. There'll be loud booping if that happens. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, and then everybody will use their legs. Oh, I don't do that. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, b, b, buh, b, b, b, b, b, b The thing is that the blowing will be facing backwards exactly White but they need to be moving the other direction for it to roll at any point doesn't matter. We'll work it out blowing at any point will help great Especially if you're running backwards

All right, do we have some little some words from a listener? Oh, yeah. Fuck it. All right. Go ahead, we're running backwards in this thing as well, are we? We could be. Okay, we got... These are from Ryan Tyler Brother. Brian Tyler Brother? No, Ryan Tyler Brother. Ryan Tyler Brother.

I think it's the Frank Lloyd Wright guy. Frank Lloyd Wrong. Oh, great. Yeah. R-T-B. F. A Ryan Tyler brother? Oh yeah, Ryan Tyler brother, yeah.

So I thought you, R-T-B, you said that after I said Frank Lloyd wrong. Yeah. All right. Creationist, evolution, slip and slide. creationist, evolution, slip and slide. First of all, thank you very much for your words, Ray and Tyler Broder. Thank you so much. Yes.

Creationist, evolution, slip and slide. You know what I love to see in any animated movie where they go to the museum? And somebody's escaping somebody else and they slide down the bones on the back of the the Brontosaurus down the tail. I like that. I mean, it seems fun and it seems to happen very quickly. They slide on their feet. On their feet, is it?

A lot of the time. Yeah, right. Because it looks fun, but I imagine that would be one of the hardest things to slide down in the world. Oh, especially as your coccyx. If you're doing it on your butt, as your coccyx is encountering other spine-ray cord. Yeah, no, they're not designed for that, they're not designed for that, but what if God stepped in? Ah ha! And designed a Brontosaurus skeletal system. One of the ways that we know that God exists is because if it weren't for him, what is the reason

why the Brontosaurus' spine would have formed such a perfect slip-and-slide for those escaping hijinks in a natural history museum. I mean, fuck, if we discovered that, if, okay, creationists, if we discover a dinosaur, whose backbone is a perfect slip and slide, and there's no other reason for that to have been the case, but for an escape scene in some kind of fascical romp, then animated romp, then I will... That would probably be it for me. That would convince me of the evidence of the existence of God. I think I'd be convinced as well. Yeah, do you think Richard Dawkins would...

Look, I think it would peak his interest. Yeah. And he would do a little bit of research to see if there was any other reasons why it might have developed a sleep and slide, a little... Spine. Spine, but I would just believe on first viewing. But I would just believe on first viewing.

Do you want to do something about dropping into a vert? Sure. It's vertebrae. Yeah. It's also like a vert, a vert. Do you think we nailed this one very quickly? I think we nailed it straight away. Right? I think we just, like maybe this has been just been discovered

Mm-hmm right this dinosaur whatever it is and they find it's got the perfect spine Well, maybe they could only have discovered it After years of running natural history museums and a pattern of people being able to Slide down the slide after getting into some high jinks and trying to escape and they've just been studying CCTV data is absolutely compelling. This spine is perfectly designed for escaping high jinks. To the point and a criticism about evolution is that you can't conduct experiments on it because it happens over these incredible time frames. But in this case, we have conducted an experiment

and the evidence is conclusive. Absolutely conclusive. It's in-inclusive. Yes, I could go on. I'm gonna take a series of sketches. Please, I'm going to take it to the sketch. Take it to the sketch please, ideas that will come up with. If we can call them that today, which we can. First we got the witness protection scam. This is people figuring out that they can witness things

and then make money. Yeah, because the money you get is cumulative. That pension that they give you when you're in a scam scheme Not only that you could probably get it in different countries as well Even if it isn't cumulative here you could get it go to the states. Yep. Maybe get a bit of witness protection now I mean they might tell you go back to where you came from The states maybe that seems like something we'd say Oh, but they probably want to have access to you

so that you can testify. Yeah, and also a good witness, you know. It's worth a lot. It's worth a lot. We probably need more witnesses if anything. Especially if you only have eye witnesses as evidence. Yeah, well, I mean, we, what do we do to try and fight crime? We invest more in police, and we tell people crime is bad.

But I say invest in the next generation witness technology. Let's be training up our people to be good witnesses. Always observant, always snapping photographs of otherwise uninteresting sections of the sky. Yep. Also sticky beaking. Yes, right. It's turning into some kind of big brother type surveillance

state. It's butt. It's witnesses. Everyone loves a witness. Yeah. People hate a spy, but they love a witness. People hate a CCTV camera because it records it forever. And there's a place where they could bring

out the footage and show people. But with just some sticky beak nosy neighbor that information those images stay inside their head. And they can't be posted on the internet except through a set of words. Do you think that we could get around the CCTV problem by just having sort of sticky bakes sort of glued to the size of buildings. Well, it's a good way to get a lot of employment for for for witnesses. Really is. Then we have a preemptive witness protection. Yeah, great. If you feel like you're going to see something. Well, or if you think you might want to change the direction

of your life later on in life, you get an identity, secret identity at first. And then later on, you go and witness a crime if you want to change in your life. And then you can go back to your original personality or whatever. Because this is another thing. Witnesses don't have a lot of incentive at the moment.

But if you had to do it to get back to your old life You'd probably be a much more vigilant It's true Then there's the reality TV show vagabonds versus troubadours Yep possibly versus vagrants Yeah, but they might not get that far well, I think maybe in the like the last round they bring in a vagrant just to mix things up Just to see if you can tell the difference. Yeah

Then we got the $3 samples Things are getting a bit dusted you're Literally diced the diced sausage. Cheses. I mean, look, it doesn't have to be this, but if it's a sausage that works like spanks, changes the shape of your body to remove underwear lines and sock lines. I think we should talk more about

more shapely sausage. We're gonna have different shapes of sausage, so you know. They don't, they've never made a sausage that's shaped like a man, have they? No. No, they haven't. You know, if you had sausages that looked

like your ancestors. Like a little man. Yeah. Can you fry that up? No, but imagine that you get a like a bust of your great grandparents. So it's four sausages. Mm-hmm.

Is that right? How many great grandparents you have? No, you'd have you have eight. Eight sausages feeds a whole family of four. Two sausages each. Mix it up and get some patriarchal. That's a matriarch. How do they look like your grandparents? Are they shaped like a head? Yeah, they're busts. Is there still a sausage then? Send more like a sort of a rissole to me. No, they're not. They're not a rissole. Oh, okay. They're a sausage. Right.

This is new sausage technology, so it's not going to look like something that you recognize. So they three day printing it or something? Well, I mean, the mold might be 3D printed, but at some point they're mostly fried. Right. Any other questions? No, no, no. Then we got free sample skydiving. Yes. Oh, boy. Yeah.

I love it. Now where is it? Is it in the aisle at the supermarket? Or is it sort of next to a big field where they are doing the skydiving? I think maybe in the mall, you know, like one of those places at the top of like an escalator they just sent you like the Trident can't you paint ball? Yes. But they just have you like the Friday Can you paint ball? Yes, but they just have a map of the world for a one club

Yeah, or like be one of those people who just buys an apartment off of a Person in a mall and a mall just sitting at a table with a photo of a building Yeah, we got crowd blowing or crowd power gliding, which is when you know flee from this red out chili peppers where's a squirrel suit and puts down his base and jumps up onto the crowd and everybody blows and he glides across. He disappears, gets caught in an updraft and he winds up you know 80 kilometers above the surface of the earth, phrases to death in a storm. And up to the covers have to have to put an audition out. Yes. You know storm right up covers have to have to put an audition out yes to get a new bass player

And they get the winner of vagabonds and troubadours perfect But the guy plays a banjo Which is an an bass instrument. This is a new direction. So the man invents a Bass banjo and it's a huge banjo that doesn't have any tinniness to call the Bung called a bong joe. A bong joe, yeah. And it's got a gong on the front. It's actually an Asian inspired instrument. And hillbilly as well. Then we've got the people's engine,

which is a new thing they put into it. I know we've been saying, flee, flee for Red Hot Chili Peppers this entire time. The whole time I've been picturing edge from you too. Yeah. I've been saying flee and I've been thinking edge. I was like, something's not right in my head. I'm not sure you have been saying flee.

You've been hearing flee, but you've maybe been saying flee in your hair, but I don't think you've said flee yet. Oh, great. That was my first time you said flee. Yeah, okay, great. If anybody has been listening, you've been paying attention to the number of times and he said flee.

Well, I've been picturing edge. Yeah, he's a picturing edge. And that's okay. We got the people's engine, which is a... Yes. An engine that we have in a plane, or we say to the passengers of a plane, they have in a plane that when the plane is crashing,

you can blow into your oxygen mask and that that will help get that extra engine going. You know how there's that hole near the end of the tail? Maybe we could say it's all blowing out there. It's all coming out of there and that's extra bit of a boost. That we need to get out of this death spiral. Yeah, imagine a big Boeing like that getting in there.

Oh, you should call it a death spiral. Let's call it an Opsi curve. Oh, maybe something even more pop, but like, you know, positive. Let's call it an up opportunity. An opportunity. And there you go. Then we got the,

death spiral is very negative. Yeah, the plummet simulator for creating. Circle of life. Now that's, that'll make it feel good. It makes you think about the line can. Yeah. You think about Elton John. I could have my cat and no worries. No worries. Suddenly you don't even you've forgotten about the people. You already did. You already did. You forgot about the people's engine, which was there to distract you from the fact that you were plummeting to the ground. Yes. Then we got the plummet simulator for creativity.

That's where you wind up with a prototype and you walk onto short time. On the time we were finished taxing. Then you got human millipede wheel. That's a good idea. Hmm. Just like that. And then we have the Brontosaurus backbone, slip and slide evidence for God's intelligent design. Go on. No, I think that's great. I think that this millipede thing, absolutely, let's just start small. If you've got that aluminium frame,

get me one with four guys in it. Prove the concept to me. I don't think you'll work with four guys because it's just not enough. No, you push every time it goes around, it keeps you momentum going. I reckon it'll work. You're like a flywheel. You've got a lot of angular momentum as soon as you get started. You might even need a bit of a push to get going. But I just need to see this going, you know, and then like anything, it's like cruise ships. You start small and then you get, you know, the incentive there, the money's there and

these things get bigger and bigger and bigger. Soon you've got one with a buffet. Sure, but I think, I think, you could do one with 16 people. All right, 16. And we could probably get a circus to do it. Yeah. Shay, if you're listening, you've worked, you've worked with circus people. Send us a tweet or a Facebook message. Let us know if this is sounding like. Shay, you've worked with circus people. You know about sort of the load bearing capacity of the human leg. leg, is nine people per person?

Is that too many to carry, do you think? Shay is a listener who is involved in the circus. And so thank you very much, Shay, for lending your expertise if you still listen. And if you don't, we're so happy for you and good luck with your life. Yeah, good luck with your life, Shay. Whatever it is that you're listening to now.

Yeah. We hope that it brings you the same amount of satisfaction that we get from From when we thought that you listen Did we come out of this setting like I think now we gotta do the song thing. Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh!

Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh!

Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! when people listen, we also enjoy it. Doesn't matter, we enjoy just doing it. Yeah, that's true. It doesn't matter.

To be honest, originally we got into this to just come up with ideas, some of them that are usable. And, you know, I think to a certain extent, that's kind of what we've done on occasion. And we're gonna keep doing it because we have nothing better to do. To be honest, this is one of the better things that we do.

Ha ha ha. You can find us on Twitter at a two in tank. have nothing better today. To be honest, it's one of the better things that we do. You can find us on Twitter at a two-in-tank. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. I'm at Alistair TB. We'd really like it if you get the chance to review us on iTunes. People have been doing that recently. It makes us feel real good. And they say that it helps. We don't know in which way exactly, but you know, who on other podcasts they say it really helps the podcast If you can review and the visibility, I can't imagine that it I think we're probably beyond the point of help But like if there's even an infinitesimal improvement that's possible, you know, whatever it takes I just like first to get new and noteworthy, do you think?

I don't know It was those first it was that three-year break that we took I think maybe That might have won this That's ScrooDos. I don't know. It was those first, it was that three year break that we took, I think, maybe a month. That might have run this. That's screwed us. I don't know. We could relaunch. What does the algorithm do with three year breaks? No, I don't know.

It probably gives you a real boost. Is there a section of the front page of iTunes podcast that says, oh, these guys are started up again. Staying almost dead. Yeah. Or just chuck them all this because it feels like they're probably gonna quit. Which we're not, by the way.

We're not gonna quit. We're basically in this for life. We gotta get at least to episode 200 where we have to come up with 200 sketch ideas in one episode. If you can find us on Patreon also if you wanna chip in, you can send us your three words and...

Much like Ryan Tyler brother did with his creationist evolution and slip-and-slide words. Absolutely, and... And then there's also the $8 Patreon pledge that allows you to get the extra two episodes that we make a month. One where we come up with a number of an idea and one where we're working on a sitcom. Now the last episode of the sitcom one, we were pretty tired and I thought it was shit. Did you listen to the whole thing? I listened to bits of it and I wasn't happy with my

performance. But Alistair, it's okay. But then with some of the other one, they've been incredible. And people have been saying it's been better than the regular podcast. So either way, we've got a good reason to feel bad. Don't worry. We're fine for that. And thank you. I thank you to the planet broadcasting people and also we really we love you This podcast is part of the planet broadcasting network visit planet broadcasting comm for more podcasts from our great mates Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments.

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