Two In The Think Tank - 148 - "Police Balloon Artist"

Episode Date: September 11, 2018

Behooved, Innocent Until Proven a Law, Clean Gun Tube, Balloon Artist, Laughter is the Best Justice, Cowdog Clip, Vice Sun, Celebrity Eclipse, Boom GuyThanks to everyone who supports the pod by chipping in to our patreon hereTwo in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereLocally grown thanks to George Matthews for editing this episode.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution. And that's what makes NUME different. NUME uses science and personalization to help you manage your weight for the long-term. Their psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are easier to maintain. The best part? You decide how NUME fits into your life, not the other way around. Sign up for your trial today at NUME.com. That's n-o-o-m- dot com to sign up for your trial today. cast from our great mates. Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur, Gifakur. I was doing a steam vent.

I was doing a machine industrial noise. Oh yeah. It was something a little valve, blow off valve. I was saying Gif-a-cour. Yeah. Yeah. Hello and welcome to Two of the Big Degrees Show. The podcast.

Where we come up with five sketch ideas. Okay, sure, wow, that's great. Do you think it somehow feels like I'm, I just got the upper hand. Is my microphone sound more powerful? Or am I, or am I as a person more powerful? I think it is. I think it is.

Did I just become the dominant one? I mean, I just spoke over you. I think you challenged me for control of the pack. And I think I lost. I lost in that like that showing of hackles or whatever it is that we do. Hackles, what are they? Like little brass coins.

I hope so. Yeah. You had more of them. Well, I think through them in my face. or whatever it is that we do. What are they, like little brass coins? I hope so. Yeah, you had more of them. Well, I think through them in my face. I look, I think it's sad for you to have lost the leadership, but I have been told that my butt is my best feature. And you're gonna be spending a lot of time back there as I lead us into a possibly greatness, but also could be into the ground,

because I like to come up with a lot of underground based sketches. Well, I tell you what, I'm looking forward to, and it's great that you've taken the reins, because I'm looking forward to spend a bit of time behind you so that I can stick my boot up your ass and I hear that I've been told that I have a beautiful boot. Yep. Well, I've been told that I have a good boot hug and anus and that I look forward to collaborating, embracing on a collaboration. That will be very much whichever way you look

at it, centered around your ass. Yeah. Every kiss is a collaboration. I mean, this possible? Oh, so you're saying, okay, I guess, I guess not every kiss, because then as soon as you say that, you remember times when you've kissed somebody, and then once you've kissed them,

they've, you've realized, oh, they're not, they're not into this. Sure, sure. And there's also possible to kiss things that aren't people. But are you suggesting that things aren't people aren't collaborating on the kiss? Yeah, I'm saying that if I kiss a brick wall, I think it's wrong to infer anything. I like it to suggest that the brick wall was a collaborator in that display of, I'm going to say, I'm a broad-lead passion.

But Andy, you're going to get angry because I'm gonna wanna move your mic. But what? But what I was gonna say, I'm not sure if you're aware of lovers' second law. Yeah, okay. Which in which when you, the amount of kiss that you put into something, there's an equal and opposite

kiss that you get back that you get back even if it is from a brick wall. I see my problem is that I'm I'm immediately imagining all of these arguments in a legal context and I'm not having a good time you know. As in like as in like the wall because you're thinking of it as a person who doesn't want to kiss. Exactly. That's what I'm thinking. Yes. Sure. And I agree with that. Legally, that might not be okay. Sure. But we're not talking about law.

No, we're not talking about man's law. We're not talking about man's law. We're talking about God's law. Lovers law. And and and all sphair in love and it is war and lover has war yeah okay well what what Alistair you seem to be really pushing this thing so why don't you run it and get it no it's great I wait I it's fine it's all good and I'm having a good time. Lovers law. Lovers law, I lost it. Oh, this was lovers second law of kisses.

Great. I'm not sure I like this. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, like, to the point of not wanting to keep doing the podcast or because I have I have a thing that I think I could say it would be a different topic that we could talk about. Okay. Do you want me to? Do we want to start the new and your podcast? No, I'm like I'm if you don't mind this but going out there. Yeah, okay. I'm okay with this going out. Yeah. Okay. Great. Well, then I got I got a change of tack that we can chuck in to the conversation. And this is it, right? You know how like every generation has a sound and I'm not talking music.

I'm talking like verbal sounds that aren't really words but that we enter into the lexicon to like just make conversation a bit more fun. Things like your booyah caches, or your showings. He's all seem to be from our generation. What can you blame? I was thinking steeped. I'm from the booyah caches, generation. Yeah, well, I was thinking kind of like,

for an older generation, there's like a, ugh, what the? Is that just the sound of like physical exertion? It's like manual labor. Like an older man sitting down. Yeah. But I guess that you don't just throw that into conversation. Well, that's certainly not to liven it up.

Maybe to get sympathy or a bit of help moving this television set. Well, I think we definitely took cool. Mm. But these are words, right? These are, boy, your cash is not a word. Isn't it?

Showing isn't a word. I mean, but they don't have the attributes of a sound. You don't think? I think showing is a sound. I can sure how to spell it. Therefore, it's a word. And I think that's exactly what makes it come in to the lexicon as something that we can say, you know. But it's still not a word. And I think that's exactly what makes it come in to the lexicon as something that we can say, you know,

but it's still not a word. It's still just a sound that we're making with our mouths. Like we want to, it's like, you know, we can't all beatbox, right? We can't all do Michael Winslow's incredible oral dynamics gymnastics. He is an oral dynamo. Yeah.

You know, was that his stand-up special oral dynamo? Well, I mean, he's due for a special, isn't he? He sure is. I mean, Netflix is probably got five to $10 million put away for when Michael Winslow was ready. When he finally perfects the mixed master, do you think that the limitation for him, he's probably already mastered all the sounds, do you think the limitation for him is human ingenuity in like that we are yet to come up with, well you're not coming up with new noisy inventions

fast enough that he can then do the noise in his act. So you think he got bored, he's just like a genius. Yeah. And society is letting him down. Yeah. And that we're not creating enough a new sounds. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't go to every consumer electronics show.

And just two of the stalls or the booths. Just hoping that he sees the next big thing that's gonna become a cultural touchstone, like the car door, what a cultural touchstone, and he's gonna be able to, you know, roll that into the out, he can see that, and he's like straight away, he knows. Mm.

Ah. Exactly that. Yeah. Out, those are both very good both excellent parts of the dolphin vocabulary and of the door What about this one? Coconut horse coconuts. Horse. Horse coconuts. Sure, you can use coconuts to make them sound like a horse, but can you use a horse to sound like a coconut? Yeah. Is it interesting that both coconuts and horses are covered in brown hair? Do you think it's a co-incidence? Or do you think it was God giving us a little clue? Like checking something the way of the folly artist?

Because it's hard for a folly artist. You wouldn't think that the way to make... Like it would have must have been fucking hard to find the sound of a punch and realize that it was cutting iceberg lettuce. Someone that is. I think so, yeah. With a knife? With a knife. I thought it was like slapping a, like a, I thought it was like you had to like hit a cabbage. Sure, sure, maybe hit a cabbage.

Whatever it is. But that's not exactly a gimme, you know? But the coconut, that's a real freebie for those guys. Because you're like, I need to make the sound of this brown hairy animal. I'll try this brown hairy fruit and it works. Sure, there's a lot of brown hairy animals. I mean, like, but when you cut a coconut half,

why? Helles, dear, hang on. Hang on. I used to choose to think there's a fucking floor in my counting logic. Wait, for doing it, but then again, when you cut the coconut in half, the two halves do look a little bit more like hooves.

They look a lot like hooves. They look a lot like hooves. Yeah, you're right. So it's not like there was a flaw in the end. Now, you know the word behooves? No. Oh, great. Oh, maybe.

Do you think it's got anything to do with coconuts? Uh, you say that the coconuts be hoo, and then shake spears over hearing you. Is that, it reminds me of that, I think we have to start again. No, we do, we cannot start again. This is all great. Is it? Yes, but I'm having so much fun. It's probably my favorite podcast we've ever done.

Okay, so it's a sitcom, it'd like be waged. Yes, it's called be hoops. So it's called be hoved. Right and so it's like Seinfeld. Yeah, right. But instead of seeing how he comes up with his stand-up comedy bits, it's about a folly artist and we see him in life and we see how he comes up with his sound effects. Yeah, great. And we can get Dave Foley to play the lead character. He's not doing anything. According to a podcast I heard, nine years ago.

He will literally sign up for any role we give him. Because of that divorce settlement. That divorce settlement, he's got to keep making the bucks. You know, there's actually, there was like, based on that conversation that he had with Mark Marin, I had a huge disagreement with my mother. Because she didn't believe me that in Canada, that there could have been a, a, a, a divorce deal where you have to pay, now what you were making at the time of the divorce deal. And then she found, this is the thing is that she became Mrs. Evidence by tracking down parts of the law. And they said, and it said that that wasn't the case. And I went, wow, well, I just, and in my mind, I've, I've, I've conceded that she is right in that regard.

In that regard, sure. But I still find it difficult to settle in my mind why he would have. Why would they fully like that? Say that on WTF, which is listened to by a lot of people. In fact, in my mind, I'd probably rather believe that my mother fabricated the legal evidence was in Photoshop editing sections of the Canada book of law the CBL CBL CBL C-B-O-L C-B-O-L I think this could be a great story for the first episode of Behoved. So Mark Foley, is that what's his name? Dave Foley.

Dave Foley's coming off the WTF pod. And then we have to write me into the episode and my mom. But we can get somebody else to play my mom if it is. But it's Dave Foley. We can get your mom. Yeah, Dave Foley. Yeah, he's the Foley guy. Wow.

So do you go to him then and ask? I think it could know I don't think I've ever met a real interesting scenario would set up right because it seems to contain yeah both the real day folly yeah, right and He's also a character. is a foli artist. Yeah, he's a foli artist, a career that he decided to go into based on his name. He's quite late in his career. Because obviously from the Mark Maren podcast that we will have heard, he will have still lived

the same life up until this point. But it was the desperation that we heard about in that podcast. And that's where it's's where it's all that's the sliding doors moment It's also a remake of sliding doors Right. Yeah, so there's two day folies Okay, so and and but instead of like a sliding door Which is the thing that makes a decision? You know like makes where his life splits. Yeah, it's A person putting a piece of paper into an envelope

which sounds like a sliding door and inspires him too. I just like the idea, it's just him deciding that he wants to be a phone man. Oh, right. He looks at his own name. Yeah. And he goes, I guess I could do that for a bit. And then in the other incarnation where his hair is brown.

Yeah, okay. What is it in the other incarnation where his hair is brown. Yeah okay. What is it in the other incarnation? It's also brown. Okay. But later on it gets browner and then later on in the other one he's like a kid like Rob's citrus in his hair and he gets kind of blonde or highlights. Do you think we could have already created the most confusing television show of all the time? I think after what was that? I mean, just sliding doors, but without the sliding doors moment. Like look, we found out we found out with lost, right, that people don't need a thing to make sense. They just need constant cliffhangers and no resolution at the end, right? I mean, not the people were satisfied with the end, but if we just keep giving new, day-follow cliffhangers, I think people will keep watching.

Yeah, I absolutely agree. Yeah. And all we have to do is become the cool... And the kind of thing at the end of every episode is if he's gonna make enough money to pay his child support. And also, there's gonna be a scene in it where he... I contend to him on Twitter and he explains to me so that I can put my mom in her place. Why he has to do this thing with his divorce agreement that goes counter to Canadian law? Well, while it wasn't written into the law, that was the case, it also wasn't written into the law that they had to write that into the law in order for it to be a law.

So it was one of those loopholes, really pretty big loopholes where nobody had written in the law anywhere that this is the law. Yeah, right. People just had gone about the assumption that it was the law because it seemed to have a lot of laws in it. But and the people who dealt with it were lawyers. Exactly. And unfortunately, even the least trained of all the lawyers could tell you that all that is just circumstantial evidence.

Yeah, and so they realize, and this will be a great episode too. Canada realizes that the whole legal system that they've based their constitution and everything on it, I don't know if Canada has a constitution. But it's not been the law. So they have to find a way of turning that into law so that they don't have to write new laws. Because they don't want to.

I like the illegal defense as a separate sketch in which somebody tries to argue that a law in a book of laws isn't actually a law, just because it's in a book with a lot of other laws doesn't mean that it's a law because that is just guilt by association, right? And you can't, you know, that is a law, you can't just say it's a law because it can't, you know, that is, you can't just say it's a law because it's associated with other laws, that's actually against the law. That's discrimination.

It's true, okay. Is that funny though? I don't know. I think it is. It felt funny in my head until I set it out loud and you looked at me like, yeah, fuck this. I got lost along the way.

But maybe that'll be one of the funny parts of the sketch. Hey, is that like, you're right. You know, and then maybe we can then we can wink at the audience and go, I bet you're lost now. Well, this sketch goes for another seven minutes. We try to get you back on track, but we won't. We won't. Cheers.

Book of laws. I don't know. What should we call that one? Not a law by association. Not a law. You know. You just because somebody's, you know, in a bank holding a gun with a bunch of robbers around them doesn't mean that they were robbing the bank.

They could have been in a bank, it could have been a coincidence, is all I'm saying. That's right. And it's the same with the law. Just because a law is in a big book of law, doesn't mean that it is a law. Sure, it could just be a phrase. Law by the association. I see what you're saying there. And so what other reasons could you be pointing a gun at the shopkeep? You could

be showing them the inside of the gun. Look at how clean it is. Look at them. I've been cleaning it. And then you would actually have to put it pretty close to their eyes. It's really a real good look in there. Yeah, and maybe a blank range. Well, what you could do is if you had like a laser on top of the gun and that pointed onto their forehead, some of that light would bounce off and go into the gun so they could see down the tunnel of the gun.

What I said to him, he may not have heard me beforehand, go into the gun so they can see down the tunnel of the gun. What I'd said to him, he may not have heard me beforehand, I said, do you have a torch on you to shine down the gun? If you don't know, worry, I have a laser I can point at your head. And some of that will bounce back. And you can look inside to see how clean the inside of my gun is. Yeah. I wasn't to know that at the same time, four other robbers dressed in similar ski masks were

actually trying to rob the bank and I condemn them. Like you. I'm just a clean gun enthusiast who's proud of my work. And is it a crime to be proud of your work in this country? I think not. Is it a crime to be proud of your work in this country? I think not. I mean, if we make that illegal, then send me to prison, because I don't want to be a free man. In a country such as this, that this country could be in this hypothetical sense, but it clearly obviously isn't as far as I know. I, and I have a gun here, and I would like to show it to every single one of you in the

in the courtroom to indicate so you can feel self-inspect just how clean the gun is. And why my pride is so large. And unless you allow me to point this gun into the faces of the jury, into the face of the judge himself, then you are denying me a right to put my case and to prove my case. And it should be a mistrial. And it should be to clear the mistrial.

Because if you, only someone who has seen how clean the tube at my gun is. Yes. My gun tube is. Who don't just stand out and try that. Try that. Try that. Try that. And if you haven't, then you must acquit.

If you do not want to look down it, you must acquit. Clean gun defense. It's another in our long-running series of... Silly defenses. Speculative defenses. Speculative defense fiction. SDF. I mean, there's no, there's not, is there any kind of comedy court room dramas

other than Matt Locke? Is that actually a comedy? And Night Court? Are they actually comedies? I think Night Court was. Like a sitcom. Yeah. Now, and that's a real thing, right?

They have in America, like a court that just goes 24 hours, like a McDonald's or something or a 7-Eleven. And you can just go in. I see them. You can see it in the middle of the night. I, like, I assume for convenience sake, sometimes you must. That's amazing.

I mean, look, you know, there are some judges that are nocturnal. And if you didn't have a night court, then you wouldn't be catering to them. Right, you think it's more about the judges than when they wake up. Well, and the thing is, if a judge wakes up, you can't tell him he's wrong because he's a judge. Who are you to judge? That's right, Unless you're a higher

ranking judge. Higher ranking judge and you say no, actually you should get up before 9am. I was gonna say at 9am. Can judges just just put push each other around like that? I will tell you this, as a good chance that judges could be wearing pajamas under those robes. Like they look like they were designed to conceal pajamas and also bed here. I mean, they cause why they have the we wait, wait, oh, but that's only in Australia. In the United States, where this sketch is set, they don't wear those wigs. And also, I think in Victoria here, they've stopped wearing those wigs, right? Yeah. Yeah. At least they're trying to get you to stop doing it.

You think it's a shame? I think that they're disgusting. And who ever would- And stupid, right? Yeah, and stupid. And embarrassing. And they look like they're made out of those wheat breakfasts, you know, like a wheat, like a shredded wheat,

a shredded wheat breakfast shirt, but white. And then they twist it into a little ball. And they sprayed white and they glue it to their head. And they say, now I'm going to go to court. Yeah, they look like they're dead. And now I'm going to send it to a man to death. Yeah, it seems silly, doesn't it?

It really does. Do you think there was a point in time at which clowns and judges diverged evolutionarily speaking, they maybe there were a bunch of sort of clown judges living together in some sort of a habitat. And then maybe like a mudslide or a lava flow, split the island into two. That makes sense, yeah.

And one population was in an environment where there were a lot of sad children. And in another population, there were an environment where there were a lot of sad children, but because of really quite awful things that had happened to their families. Awful people of legal age. Yeah, exactly. And. Prosecutable age.

Yeah. And so they both found their own habitats. Mmm. Yeah, I mean Even if like one side had the sad kids and then the other side had the the perpetrators of the sadness You know, that's what the lava flow had separated. Yes, you know, and so then Right, so one side has to prosecute and one side has to heal the children's womb through humor. Yeah, and so they were just a regular, they were just a sort of one regular species of skin-colored people with skin-colored hair.

Skin-colored hair. Skin-colored hair. Skin-colored hair, right? And that's through the whole spectrum of skin colors. You're a hair color and your skin color of a sign. But then when the lava flow came through, they started changing. Also, the species also wore baggy clothes. Yes.

Then when the lava flow came through and blocked off, you decide all they could do is yell that you know to each other and communicate that I have sad children here and that they say that the perpetrators of their sadness are on your side and you need to But that that sounds like it puts the pressure on the on the On the clowns to sort of almost become investigators. Well, I Mean, but that's they'd have to get the witness statements. That's this. I'm gonna make a balloon animal. All right, and you tell me if this looks like,

instead of a word, instead of a, okay, this is a sketch in which instead of a courtroom artist who does the sketches to indicate what the criminal look like, police artist, sketch artist, police sketch artist. We have a clown doing a balloon animal, a balloon sketch artist. Sure. Well, it's interesting that you should say that.

But also, I think that is a totally, that's a sketch. Yeah, yeah, I've written that as a separate sketch. Two evolutionary history of clowns and judges. Yep. Now, you were right in saying that it did... And they both have hammers, by the way. Oh yeah. But the clowns are like sort of big inflatable ones.

Yeah, we're just big ones. And they can bump, bump, bump each other on the head. But also, as you were saying that the kids are responsible, aside of the kids, but the clowns are responsible for in some way getting statements. And that would have been the case, but instead what they did is that's how clowns became associated with acrobatics and high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high so that the clowns didn't have to deal with any of that shit. Yeah, that was the key difference in the population that existed almost by chance when the

dude was split off, that there was a preponderance of people on the clown side who didn't want to have to deal with that shit. That's right. And somehow their hair got red. Yeah. And the judges there hair got white. Well, there are also predators. There were a big cats. Oh, yeah. Okay. They had different sort of hunting styles. Oh, that's true. And the judges lived in a place with a high, like highoss, a kind of high white mass. And it makes sense that the judges would be nocturnal because they're all dressed in black

to allow them to blend in more into the night and hunt their prey, which is a type of frog. Oh right, and their white, their white wigs, which are look like owls to stop them being attacked from... Other owls. Rats, as well. Yes, exactly. But they make those wigs out of, is it horse here? Horse. Probably.

Dead horse or living horse? I don't think it matters with a horse. I reckon you could get it off both horses. You've ever seen a shaved horse? No, not like the tail and the mane and stuff, you know, the long head. If you're looking to make a wig off a horse, that's where you go. Yeah, right. I think maybe also something with pig hair, but you never see pigs with hair.

I thought I heard that toothbrushes used to be made with pigs hair. God, I mean, imagine trying to convince people to... Brush their... Put pigs hair in their mouth. Yeah. To make it cleaner. How filthy must your mouth have been? That's why tooth care was such a horrible thing up until only about 30 years ago.

And even now, a lot of people are still not keeping up. Tell you what, people don't like going to the dentist. Have you heard this? Have you seen this? No, never heard seen this. Yeah, it's people are reluctant to do it apparently. And in regard to some people call dentists like torturers and stuff like that. Right, just because they can very easily pull your teeth out.

Yeah, which is also a thing that torturers do. Yeah, right. But I mean, if they did it like a dentist, that would actually be quite a nice torturing. Yeah, yeah. Do torturers give you anesthetic? Just what they do it to. And if they do give you anesthetic,

do they rub on that other anesthetic that they put on before they put in the injection To give you the anacetic. Oh, is that something you've had before? Yeah, yeah They put some sort of little ointment or gel on there so that even the bit where they put in the needle Doesn't hurt. I did tell you know you got a real good. I didn't do that for me He says he said he just did it slowly and it started. That sounds like it'd be worse. Oh, it's pretty good. I had a really good time. Did he say I'm going to do you slowly, but those are his exact words? Yeah, why? Does that sound bad?

No, it sounds great. That's actually what I prefer. Can we go back to my idea of generations having their own sounds? We can try. Was that in this podcast? Yes. We haven't restarted it despite what you've been trying. All the generations, they actually invented cool and I feel like we ran with it way more. Like the word cool? I think so. Sure, I'm not, I don't, fuck, I don't care about the word cool. I'm talking about sounds. But Buya Kasha and Swish you whatever you're saying what about boy?

Okay, bonion you're doing is a sound. Thank you. Yeah, bonion Right, yeah, so that's a sound and that's a sound of people through under conversation. Yeah, I mean not hapes No, actually no good examples to start with and you shut them all down. Oh, I'm gonna do my backup Example I just thought that they were words rather than sounds. Um, what about this one? Well, that's not even, that doesn't fit my category. That's just a sound. What was...

I can't wait. No, that's not as good as you usually do that. You're really pretty, normally pretty good at crickets. I just thought that we could come up with some new sounds. But if you refuse to accept that my premises even have premise, then fucking forget it, Alistair. No, but I think it's not clear with the premises. That's all you're saying, generations have sounds.

But if you want to just create new sounds, I'm happy to create new sounds. Okay, let's create new sounds then. But what are we doing it for as a thing that you can throw into conversation? I don't know. I you know I thought showing was a great example. Crampal. Like that? Yeah. But like what is it? One of those things where you go Oh that's crampal. No I think you just do it. Like that. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yes. Like a sweet. You know, something.

Yeah, and we don't need a context for it. I think we could come up with a context. Like if somebody does a good car park or something, you know, park it. I think that's perfect. If somebody's just like yours, your sound that you just did. Yeah. If somebody just nailed photocopying something. Right.

Make you sound again? Swatzt. Yeah. Swatzt. And uh... Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth

opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. Wrong. I was trying to get comedy out of just basically

just making noise. Oh, it was good. I liked it. Did you? Yeah. Hey, we have three words from a listener doing we already at five Yeah, can you believe it? It's been a real quick part pretty quick But we tend to drag it out a lot at the end. So I just thought we might as well start this now

All right, I'm sorry about my cough by the way everybody Uh It sucks. Hmm sure does I'm just joking. Andy, you're a good guy. I've had this cough for like a week and a half. You've had it for a while. Andy, today's words come from Patreon supporter Peter Fernandez. You can support the podcast on Patreon. And you can send us words.

With three bucks, you can send us three words. And then after we use those words, you can send them some more. Yeah, and you can just us words. With three bucks you can send us three words. And then after we use those words you can send them some more. Yeah and you can just keep sending them. Yeah. It's like free refills. And you can also, for eight bucks, get the two in the side tank, two in the sitcom tank, our extra podcast that we do one of each of those every month. Mm-hmm.

The last two in the side tank was very fun. We came up with business ideas. Yeah, that's right. They were really silly. Was one a clamp of some sort. Don't think so? No. Clamp.

You know what they should make? They should make a peg, like a closed peg, that you can put on your ears and lips and it doesn't hurt too much. Really good. What about like a bulldog clip as well? Because I feel like putting nose on my ears and lips and all that.

And they always hurt when I do it. I think kind of knowing that it's gonna hurt is a little bit of why I wanna do it because I wanna just be like, I wanna remind myself how much it hurts. I know, but I think it hurts too much. It definitely does. I think you wanted to hurt.

You put it on and then I'm always like, ah, who's heaps? Yeah, yeah. I think that's the thing is that the those bulldog clips seem like they're gonna do permanent damage. And so I think you could there's a huge market out there for bulldog clips and and close pegs that still hold on firmly to your clothes and documents. Yes, right? And to your clothes and documents. Yes. Right.

And to your lips and ears. And also to your lips and ears, but without bruising. Yes, without leaving a mark. Without leaving a mark. It could leave a little mark. Now, do these look different to the bulldog clips? Well, maybe. They don't just like a cow dog clip.

Maybe they don't need to be two different designs. They look exactly the same. Wait, the peg and the bulldog clip look exactly the same. Yeah, they could look the same as each other, but then again, you're not gonna enter the bulldog clip market with a closed peg looking thing because that's in an office setting

and people are really judgmental there. Yes. Yes. You can be ostracized so quickly. Yeah. And then it comes up for your quarterly review. They say you're not fitting in here You're not fitting in why we don't we can't we don't disclose the machinations

We don't have to tell you why You're just not getting it we decided to go in another another direction. Is it my pool dog, Clegg? Pool dog, Cleggs. And they say we can't say. We're not allowed to say. Yeah. Let's just say you weren't clipping on here. With everybody else. with everybody. Yeah, we felt like we didn't have a good grip on you. Let's just say you didn't quite peg it. Anyway, yeah, I think that's the sketch idea, I'll say.

Yeah, yeah. Pigs and bulldog clips. I wonder how you'd make that. I feel like it would be quite hard to make. And it would almost have to be like an intelligent technology. Like you'd have to have like sensors and microchips and processes. Yeah, right.

You could probably put those in the microchips. Oh, no, I don't know. And then I think you'd have to have like activated arms and maybe some hydraulic stuff there. Maybe even some servomotor. Maybe even some pneumatics, just to be said. Like a pneumatic backup system. Right, great. For your hydraulics.

For your hydraulics. It's one of those pneumatic backup hydraulics situations. Is it solar panels? We've also got a processor and a microchip. Mm-hmm. Great. Just in case for some redundancy. Yeah. And um, which incidentally is what you'll be getting made at work once they find out that you use this redundancy. you'll be getting made redundancy And then okay, so now that those aren't that's not Peter Fernandez's sketch We haven't even heard his words yet Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,dog clips that don't bruise? Yeah, I mean, I had a great time. Okay. Okay, now Peter, thanks for Peter Fernandez.

Hope I'm saying that correctly. His three words are... Thanks, Peter. Disaster. Mm-hmm. Tourism. Mm-hmm. Star.

Disaster tourism star. Well, okay, what I'm already thinking, right, is a vice type documentary, because you know how vice, they always send people into like troubled areas, right? I'm talking your south Sudan's, I'm talking your Columbia, your drug running situation. They're orbiting Mercury. Columbia, yeah, your drug-running situation. What are their orbiting mercury? I was going to say what if like what's a bigger disaster area to send one into? Hmm. Then a star that is currently going supernova. Oh really? I was just I thought maybe like it's the slower kind of I mean I think Andy I don't

want to take away from you I know I was just gonna, where I was, my brain was, and because, possibly, because we were discussing this earlier, is, you know, they're hanging around Mercury, and they're watching our yellow sun turn into a red giant. Yes. Yes. You know, and they're watching it get bigger, and they're like, it's totally gonna involve up. I think that's how people talk on five documentaries.

I don't know. Like, I know that they don't. But I think there's gotta people talk on vice-documentaries. I don't know. Like, I know that they don't. But I think there's gotta be some people who... Hey, maybe they're talking that way because of the atmosphere and Mercury. We don't know. That's right. It's actually got a really heavy gas there. A really heavy gas there. I need slosh down how you talk.

Not slosh down, but makes your voice deeper like this. And so when you say totally getting better and going and roll up, I don't know any. Yeah, no, I think that's a good idea. But is it? Yeah, I think a documentary, it's a guy with a moustache and a baseball cap, right? And he looks quite sweaty,

but that's probably just because he's so close to the sun. And he's got like a slightly too big shirt on, button up shirt, right? And maybe he's got a little satchel, right? And he is on his way into the, you know, the radius of the, of the, the red giant. You see, but now, I think about it I wonder whether I think he's going there in a Jeep as well. And then we see now I wonder whether the face change of the Sun itself and the disaster that might come from it is really what a vice reporter would do. I feel like they would go and see if there was like something but swifty going on in the orbit of the sun that is face changing,

like people who are profiting from it through some, you know, some underworld folk. Here's the thing they might do. They might actually go and embed themselves in the sun so that we can see it from the sun's point of view. That's nice. You know? Yeah, and so make trying to make us feel empathy for the sun? Yeah, well, I mean, what's the sun's point of view. Oh, that's nice. You know? Yeah, and so I'm trying to make us feel empathy for the sun.

Yeah, well, I mean, what's the sun's story here? Well, what is? What's driven it to do this? Well, what if at first they were out there to look at the... You remember like in the movie Solaris? Is it in Solaris? I haven't seen it, but I hear it's very, very good. No, but is that the old one with the Russian guys,

that the one you're talking about? Which is the one, there's one that was a remake, I think, where New Zealand actor, something brown. I thought it was talking about the one that Danny Boyle directed. That might be the one. That might be the one of the sun. Yeah, I think so, and they're supposed to be releasing

a payload or something like that. But then there's also one with George Clooney set in the middle east. That's, I think that's three kings. Yes. That's it. Or Sireana? Well, it's Sireana.

That was what I was thinking of. Great. No, no, no, this one's a, it's like a ship going towards the sun. Yeah, Solaris. Yeah. But I think there's one where they look, this guy starts looking into the sun a lot, and he keeps decreasing the shade on the window

using the computer. Yeah, and he gets addicted to looking into the sun. And he kind of loses his mind a little bit, like he's getting high off it. Is he going blind as well? I'm not sure. Right. I can't remember. OK. But he goes evil as well? I'm not sure. Right. I can't remember.

Okay. But he goes evil. So I think having an evil blind guy, it's like it's not as scary. You know, wow, you can smell that we're in here. Actually, they did that in, you know, evil, seno evil, that movie with Richard prior, or Gene Wilder. The evil guy was blind and I'm pretty sure. But they were blind in deaf as well.

They were also. Yeah. So I mean, that's cool. I look, I'd like to see that a film where it's like, it's a guy who's looking into the sun, getting high, but then he gets blind. But then he starts to attack all the other blind people on there because there's like a...

There's a lot of them on the spaceship on the way to the sun. Yeah. I guess those are good people to have going into the sun. I guess so. Yeah. But you'd also want people who can't feel heat. Yes. Is that a thing?

I don't know. It must be. There must be people... Because there aren't actually five senses, right? There's a bunch of other senses, like the thing of being able to sense temperature is a totally separate sense, right? Isn't it?

To touch, I think. Right? It feels like sense. Yeah. Right? Isn't it? To touch, I think. Right? Feels like it. Yeah. Oh. And it's like a feeling joke. Yeah. Well, that wasn't all that for a storm. Yeah. Good. But yeah, there must be people who don't have that sense as well. Yeah. Now, where I was going with this, and I don't, okay, was that this vice reporter is going to look at people who are doing this, just going to look into the sun to get high. There's just some kind of energy that goes in there and see people who are going out near the sun, just look into it. When I say near the sun, it could be quite far away, but it's just something about being in space. Anyway, so investigating these people that do this,

and then while they're out there, they discover that the sun is actually a conscious being. Right? Now you have my attention all the time. It's just getting interesting. A lot of sketches don't have these kinds of twists and turns. Yeah, so during that, they discover that the sun is a conscious being,

but also when they communicate with the sun it tells them that it's about to do a phase change and go into a red giant. And so it's gonna once it grows into a red giant it's gonna actually envelop the earth. It's probably gonna go most of the way to Jupiter maybe. Mm-hmm. Right. Um, and so then they're in a position where they're reporting on, like, you know, but they're also on a ship, so they'll be able to get away probably. But they're reporting back to Earth about this stuff.

And then I don't know, maybe they can try to make people feel sympathy for the sun. It's just like just been wanting to try to like, and it's actually been holding back for quite a long time just to help us out. Yeah, holding back. And it's given us a heaps of a long time just to to to help us out. Yeah holding back We it's given us heaps of chances. Yeah, and I go sorry We all knew this was gonna happen eventually. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I can't do it

I can't hold it back anymore. I can't hold back. It's like it's like a need to piss. Yeah And then that song can't hold back place. Can't hold back Yeah Can you hold back? Hold back. And then some envelopes the earth. Yeah, I think that's good. Is that a sketch? Well, there's certainly got a few twists and turns.

I mean, a lot of you are really sorry about the golfing. A lot of you are really boring sketch groups. What they'll do is they'll start with, they'll just, they're happy with a real prosaic premise like vice reporter goes to embed with people who get high off looking at the sun from really close up. Like for them that will be enough. That's like your bread and butter sketch. But what you've done now in out there is that you've actually

chucked in something interesting into the end like the sun is a conscious being that communicates with them. But I mean, like, if we could fuse, see, this is what we could offer the sun. Maybe this is where the sketch could go. Yeah. Here's that the sun, I guess, if the sun is a conscious being, then it's radiating could in part be a way of trying to communicate with other. Solar flares. Has anybody checked those to see if they come in more scot? Mm-hmm. Or some other kind of language that there's any kind of pattern. French. And, and so when it becomes... We've just discovered that solar flares are actually coming in.

French! We've been looking for meaning in these things, and one of the places we've never looked was a French dictionary. That's right. A petit l'arrouse. Why? Yeah, that's a type of French dictionary. A little red? I don't know. Okay. Um, but...

Rouge. Yeah, yeah. And the russe is kind of like, um, Russian. Rus, I think that would be russe. Russe? He's talking about Russian, actually. It's like, you know, like one of those like red beers,

what do they call? Like a red beer, you know those red ones? Yeah, I don't know. Like it's kind of like an amber. Amber. I think kind of loses like amber. I don't know. Okay, wait. I know this is going on for ages, but. I'm very happy.

Actually, the most comfortable I've been on a podcast in ages. Well, that's great. Well, okay. So then, we find out that it's been communicated through, and which is why it's becoming a red giant, because so it can become bigger and can be less lonely, so it can try and communicate with things that are further away. But then, what we have to figure out how to do is, how can we offer it what we are capable of doing and working with us.

Because we can sort of try to use our electronics and stuff that we've developed to help it be more and so that it could stop and spare us. Right. Maybe we could make it one of those boards that people who have locked in syndrome can interact with using like the movement of their eyelid or something like that to communicate that way. There you go. That's a good idea. So it wants to communicate with other stars and that sort of thing. It feels like it's time to do that.

Or you say, look, you tell us and we'll pass it on. We'll put it in a ship. We're going to put it on. Yeah. We'll put it in a ship. We're going to put it in. No, but you know, maybe we could set up a thing around it so we can use its energy that it puts out and sort of direct its beams a little bit more focussedly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, maybe we could just start to listen. Oh, that'd be nice. Like, I think if we tried, we would be nice if we realized that, look, it didn't have to go outside of the solar system to find understanding, connection, when we are capable of empathy.

I mean, that's a very human thing to think that we could understand the experiences of a size, you know. If we just listen, maybe look, if you should be happy enough relating to us rather than having to relate to another son who can understand your actual experiences. We've talked about that on the podcast before, I think, about the sun being the ultimate celebrity and taking photographs of the sun. PAP the sun. PAP the sun with Henry Stone. That's Henry Stone. That's going back a ways. That's going back a long, long way. Yeah. The sun though is the ultimate celebrity.

Really, yes. Yeah. We've got these hot picks of the sun. I think that's why an eclipse is so exciting because it's one of the few chances you get to see two celebrities together. Yeah. It's celebrities of that magnitude.

Yeah. You know, it's, and a lot of the time when you see a see two celebrities together, it's celebrities of that magnitude. Yeah. And a lot of the time when you see a photo of like Brad and Jen on the front of a thing, you look closely, it's actually just Photoshop, they're just two different pictures and they've just put them there to get on. It's hard to get a Brad and a Jen in the photos. But if you get an actual Brad and Jen,

imagine that, right? That's the sun and the eclipse. Or if you can get Brad completely obscuring Jenn. Yeah. That's the ultimate dream. Well, you want to be able to just see a bit of Jenn around the edges, I think. Yeah, yeah. Just a little bit of Jenn. Or, you know, a little bit of Brad.

How annoyed would you be if you actually, you're a paparazzi, and you get to see Brad and Jen together. You snap a photo, but you snap it at the exact moment that Brad is obscuring Jen. Oh, a total Jen eclipse. Yeah. Well, this thing is that because there's more than just two celebrities like in the sky, you know, at least like in the moon and the sun. Yeah. There's, you could get like a, like a 10 way celebrity eclipse. So you could just see Ellen DeGeneres.

Yes. But actually behind her is, you know, Walter Mathau. Bill Nye the science guy. Yeah. Bernie Sanders. Yeah, a lot of men so far. I know But I look this is just the region you're in you're in the men's room. Okay But then Bernie Mac Bernie Mac is back

But you can't see him because he's behind Ellen. Oh sure and she's in the men's room and then it's Portia de Rossi Okay, and then Queen Latifa. Then Queen Elizabeth. Then Queen Elizabeth. And then the couch from Blues Clues. It's amazing that like you can take a photo. That people are technically in, but you can't see them. But it's a full Ellen DeGeneres eclipse. Yeah. But then there's you like, the scientists have a more complicated name for this specific type of eclipse celebrity eclipse Yep, yeah, I mean that that she could have done it with that selfie You know that famous and that's probably why you picked Ellen for this example

and that's probably why you picked Ellen for this example. Right? All those people who were in the front. I specifically didn't pick Bradley Cooper as the second person because I was trying to get away from the selfie. Sure, while I'm bringing it back, I reckon she fucked up by not getting them all behind it. You're bringing selfie back.

Yeah. Oh. Oh. That's a sound that a generation makes. Yeah. Oh. I'm bringing the selfie back. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, bring it back. Oh, oh, oh, no.

Wai-oh. Oh, that is a sound that we used to make. Boom, boom, boom. That was two songs that did that. Yeah. That was boom, boom, boom. Let me hear you say wai-oh. But then there was also.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. That's an extra boom, man. Let me hear you say way up, but then there was also Yeah What's the well Smith one is there one with booms in that boom boom shake shake the room Yeah, that was it so that's two booms. We've got a three boom and we've got a four boom. Yeah, that's true It's their one that's just boom. Oh, there's gotta be Boom, that's the sound so boom. That sounds familiar to me It does isn't it? Are we sure not we're not just thinking of one of the booms from one of the multiple booms? I know that there's that risk, but I'm pretty sure there's a song where they go

Boom Da da da da da da da boom You like it, right? Boom Boom! Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, boom! You like the release? Boom! Buh, duh, duh. If not, Andy, it's up for grabs. Single boom, still up for grabs.

Boom. But then of course, there's also, boom. There's also five booms up for grabs. I wonder if anyone ever tried to put five booms in the set. Boom, boom, boom! I don't think any, I don't think you can do it. Yeah, but that worked like that.

I think it's like those special group of prime numbers. I think that they max out there's a limited number. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hey, to learn a lesson, time to time, boom, to learn a lesson, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hey, super little, that's up to you. So little, little, little, little, little, boom, boom, boom, boom.

I don't think you can do six though. Boom. Boom boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom boom. Oh yeah.

Well, once you get a little bit of rhythm in there, you really open up a whole new world of booms. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom bum. Wait how many was that? One, two, boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. Oh, there's always room for boom. That was the producer who was responsible for all those hits. He got the boom, boom, boom, boom. After that one, people didn't want to work with him anymore, because they say he went mad with booms. Yeah, they said he put more booms in a song that any song could fit.

And he thought, he's maxed out. He's peaked. Do you think what was the one that actually had actual cannons in it, like that classical music? Was it like the planets, holst, the planets or something? Is one that has actual ... Yeah, that. What is that? I don't know, right in.

But do you think that was like the proto version of all those booms? Yeah, that was the proto boom. Do you think that even counts as our single boom? It's more of a... It is, every generation has a sound. We've been to it the big tank. That's great. Should we go to the sketches?

Wait, I'm just gonna write boom go. Yeah, great. It's gonna be tough getting the rights to all those songs when we have to play them in that sketch, but you know, I reckon it's gonna be worth it. It's a lovely selfie eclipse. I forgot to write the clips. I also just looked like celebrity selfie.

It wasn't supposed to be say selfie. I think I was just starting talking about the Ellen selfie. Instead of writing the word, it wasn't even supposed to be say selfie. I think it was, he's just started talking about the Ellen selfie. And instead of writing the word, it slips a row. Yeah, I had a really bad time during that. Anyway, thank you, people who are relaxed on a podcast. Thank you Peter Fernandez for those words. Thank you Peter Fernandez.

All right, here's the sketches from today. There's Behoved with Dave Foley. And there's, that's not a sketch. It's not just a sketch, it's a goddamn sitcom. It is. I think we could outline 10 Cent seasons right now. And the showtime we'll play at our Amazon. We'll buy it.

They're bound to. Not a law by association. Yep, that's a strong, such a good idea. The laughs thick, fast, plentiful. Okay, then we got- And long. Then we got the clean gun tube defense.

I was just showing off how clean my gun tube was. The bullet tunnel in my gun. I just finished cleaning it and I thought, you know who keeps a spikin' span establishment of bank? I bet they'll appreciate this. 4-7-11. You know, and especially under those great fluorescent lights. It's gonna show up real nice.

It's gonna come up real nice. That good, cool light. Right, then we got a sketch artist, but with balloon animals. It's gonna show up real nice. It's gonna come up real nice, that good, cool light. Right, then we got a sketch artist, but with balloon animals. Mmm. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. I think he looked a bit less like a poodle. No, I think his, his nose was a little bit more bulbous. Oh, thank God. You got to believe how many people I have and he had telling me the exact opposite. Good point, do you know? That is music to my ears.

Well, sharp corners are the enemy of the balloon artist. And we got evolutionary history of clans and judges and how they separated from being just a regular skin-colored hair and skin and baggy clothes and that's it. Yep. And then we're on an island. I'm picturing the Galapagos, you may have guessed that from some of my illusions. See in mine it wouldn't have been in Galapagos, it would have been a more volcanic island.

More volcanic than the fucking Galapagos. A chain of volcanic islands. More volcanic than that, as there. Some of the youngest islands in the world formed by volcanoes. You want something, am I reading this correctly? More than that. More than the hotspot in the Pacific Ocean

that formed the Galapagos Island as a chain of still-extant and living volcanoes. I know. Where you can witness the exact scenario I just described of lava flows forming separations between populations of giant tortoises to create that phenomenon where Darwin himself observed Evolution in action because of the volcanic processes. I just described Moral-calic than that. I Know it seems unlikely, but that's what I want

I mean the hot ones what it wants. I don't know who might have told you. I mean the hot ones, what are the hot ones on this day? And I'm glad that you're so understanding. Then we've got pegs and bulldog clips that don't bruise. That's a new company. This is going to be big. This is going to be on our business ideas podcast. It was the mention of the business ideas podcast that really spurred that business idea. What is it spurred?

Spurred. Spurred, like a foot spur, like a calcium deposit on the inside of your foot that cuts into your foot meat. But it's more like the calcium deposit is words on the surface of your mouth, cutting into the conversation. Otherwise, cutting into whatever I. Otherwise, I think to whatever I really was saying.

Then there's the vice reporter who goes to the sun, who finds out that it's conscious. I mean, I mean, people already across this sketch, LSD, I mean, they can communicate with it. It tells them they want the phase into a right genre. It's not on the sketch is where you almost don't have to go into the details, because people instinctively know where the comedy is going. Yeah, but now obviously the technology, we offer it technology so they can completely hear other stars.

Obviously. And also we offer a shoulder to listen with. And then there's these celebrity eclipse. Yep. It's very rare and difficult to photograph, but the rewards are minimal. But you just have to trust you that the other person's there, by the way. You actually photoshop somebody behind someone in a photograph? I mean, we're always photoshopping things in front front but I reckon we could photoshop a few things behind.

Well I think that's possible especially with AI technology. It's got AI. Like that Steven Spielberg movie. Yeah. Like that little kid robot who was sad. Yeah I thought. Yeah, and a weird looking Jude Law. I tell you who's a cool guy now, that Haley Joel Osmond. Is it? He's heard him on a podcast recently. Very approachable. Really? Yeah, it just seems real cool. Okay. Yeah, I mean, like him. It's got a good laugh. His leg is like, it's like, it's like, it's a bit like that. It was quite hearty. Because I think because he does look like he has a bit of weight on him. So it gives him a solid man. It gives him, I don't think because he does look like he has a bit of weight on him So it gives a solid man it gives it gives it I think he's like overweight I think he's just a solid guy. He's not a little boy anymore. He's not a little boy anymore

We know him as a little boy, and now he's a man with a man's laugh I Think the celebrity eclipse would have the highest Self-statusaction of stop-how. Yeah, but it would be, have the highest self-satisfaction to dollar value ratio. Yeah, sure.

You know, because it would do it. You did it and nobody gives a shit. No one's gonna pay money other than for the front celebrity. Anyway, and then we got boom guy. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just

just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just

just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just Steve Photoshop document, because I realize you can have layers, and if you haven't flattened it, all that data can still be there. I'm putting like a flattened JPEG. Yeah, but I think a JPEG. I think a JPEG. I think behind stuff. The way in which a JPEG would become, would be so compressed, is that they probably get a rid of, get rid of a lot of extra information. Yeah, well, and they consider the information about what's behind things to be some of the

stuff that you can more or less do away with in a photo. Yeah, it's a shame. Maybe PNG. Oh, pung, pung, pung. Well, Andy, I think that's all. These sketches that we've come up with today. Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo. Thank you so much for listening to today's podcast. I enjoyed it, even though Alistair tried to kill it several times. I tried to, like, I kept it on life support.

You really did, Andy. And you know what? Like, no, let's keep it going. Come on. Let's pay for the surgery. No, it really came alive. And look, and that way, it's good for people to hear... Doubt. ...heared, no, but also hear the words that are only normally said on a podcast that gets killed.

Yeah, I mean, you don't normally hear that. You don't hear that on WTF podcast. You know, that one with Barack Obama. God knows how many podcasts with Barack Obama. He's deleted. Should we start again? Yeah. We'll do it again next week. Yeah. Well, maybe we should. Maybe we should. Maybe we should. Start again in the back, guys.

You can find us on Twitter, I'm at Stupid Old Andy. I'm at Alistair TV, we're at Two in Tank. You can also find us on Patreon, as we already mentioned earlier. You can review us on iTunes, it makes us feel real good. So good. And you can also just, you know, tweet us and Facebook us. We're on to it too in the thing tank on Facebook. Yeah.

And we've taken tiny steps towards getting those t-shirts. We keep talking about it. Oh, tiny steps. I sent a crucial email. So don't like anticipate anything or get your hopes up in any way. Maybe you do. Maybe by the time this podcast comes out, we'll already have them.

All right, if that's the case, you'll have to wait until the next one to find out. Great, or check our Twitter. Oh yeah, check our Twitter. Check our Twitter. And I'm also on Instagram at age from laborerchal. I am on Instagram, but I've never posted anything, so don't go there.

But I also just have lots of videos on my kit and I'm telling people that. Yeah, that's what don't tell people that. Okay, but he's very fun. And thanks so much for listening. And we love you lot. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time.

MyComputerCoreer.edu. you.