Two In The Think Tank - 156 - "TONGUE TUNNEL"

Episode Date: November 6, 2018

Necroleptics, Sparkless, Tongue in the Burger Trick, Tricking God, Sparrow Boys Gang, Where Do Birds Go Really?TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag.And you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereSteaming hot mug of thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Ding dong ding dong ding dong. Which is a life, which is a life, hey, I celebrate life, I don't celebrate that, just like that old... ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding ding ding dong ding ding ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding ding dong ding dong ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding musical Wizard of Oz and the perception of the witches to make wicked. Right. You're doing a sort of a version which is from the point of view of somebody who doesn't really fall on either side. You know, maybe a bystander. What are the umpilompas? Umpilompas? Yeah, sure. From a different film. Yeah, look, it's

possible. But I was also not celebrating the... Munchkins. Yeah, the munchkins. I wasn't celebrating the death of the witch. So I wasn't necessarily seeing it as a positive thing that the witch is dead. Exactly. So I think maybe the munchkins did...

They celebrated. Yeah, they celebrated. The thing on the witch is dead. But I imagine those are just the... Ding dong, the witch's bed. I think. Wow. So, from a creature, this, point of view of a creature who saw the dead body of the witch as a bed.

As a bed. So possibly one of those kind of, it could be like a worm of some sort, like a maggot, maybe from the point of view of them. I mean, they ate their bed really, they they say sort of more is a large lunch. Yeah, ding dong the witch is a large lunch. Yeah, that would make worse than so. Okay, what creature is attracted to a dead body, but doesn't want to eat it.

I just want to use it for rest. Something that gets comfort from decay. This is interesting isn't it? Because a lot of the time fetishes are sexual. All right, but why can't you want to sleep with the dead? And I do mean sleep. Yeah, you know? That's right.

Why can't it be a necrophile? Why does that have to be a necrophile? Why can't it be a necrophile? Snues. Necrophile? Yeah. What are those people who follow sleep? They're a... Oh, an acryliptic. A necryliptic. Yeah, a necryliptic. I'm always falling asleep on dead people.

Necryliptics. Yeah, I think, look, I think that's a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because is it it is it perverted? I don't think so. I mean Some people could probably take offense, but it's really a condition You know, so like somebody would take offense if let's say you You snuggled up with their on great uncle. I think your volume is coming up a bit low on here. Yeah, right. It could be your Could be somebody's turn that way. You go like that. Yeah, we go. Yeah, that's a bit better boy. Oh Mm-hmm. Now I'm talking. Yeah, that's a scratch sound. Oh, yes

Podcast always good for the start of one Well, I think that you know anybody who really wants to listen to the pod Mm-hmm You want their want to be, to go beyond like a mere scratch fault. You know, if that stops them, I don't know if they're committed enough, but then again, who knows? Maybe I would take anybody. We found the deal breaker for our listeners. Can I just say on the sleeping with on dead people? Yeah. It's like any relationship, you know, it starts out lust, right?

You know, you want to have sex with the dead body. That's where it always starts. Yes. But over time, you know, you have other responsibilities, you know, life gets in the way. Yes. And a lot of the time it comes to the end of the day and the dead bodies there in the mortuary or whatever And you're just too tired to have sex with the dead body. That does often happen.

Yeah. So you just end up just sleeping next to each other. Yeah, maybe checking your phone. Checking your phone because you still have energy for that for some reason. Well, because there seems to be endless amounts of energy for checking your phone. You never know, oh, I'm too tired to look at my phone. I'll look at it tomorrow. Yeah. I'll get up early and I'll look at my phone in the morning.

Yeah, I'll get straight to the looking. So this is somebody who puts off procrastinates looking at their phone. Is there something in that, sorry, but just in that second idea that I said, I've like, you know, the Necro-File relationship that is then now sort of become a bit formulaic or whatever they've gotten, what it was that made them...

It's a necro-philic relationship that's lost its spark. Exactly. Great. I've got the seven-year-ich, which actually the itch developed about a week in. Yeah, and I think it might be something associated with bugs or something. Some kind of bacterial thing from having sex with a dead witch. It's still a witch. But you think that it could be magic.

Could be a curse. What could be? Anything really, isn't it? Well, anything could be, but also the itch. Could he be either be bacterial or magical? A magical itch. Yeah. Imagine that.

I mean itches are already pretty magical. There's nothing there. There's nothing there. If you look, there's nothing happening. It's a very minor curse of some kind, isn't it? If you look, there's nothing. You look, really, there isn't. I mean, they tell me I've got tinny, but I've had a look. I don't see anything. If you let it develop enough, you see stuff. Often redness and a bit of puffiness. But you can't see the fungus to fungus, right?

Yeah, you can't see the fungus. It's too small for the human eye. So from a perspective of somebody who doesn't have a microscope and doesn't know about microscopic fungi. You would look at it and say, somebody's been here, sort of scratching at me, making me itchy. Maybe it may be a ghost. This is kind of like, if you were trying to,

if you're an old-timey scientist, and you were trying to come up with a solution, why is my foot-eaching? It's a ghost tickling my foot with a hair, a ghost hair. Or maybe a real hair. It could be a real hair, but then it takes it away before you get a chance to look. It could be a very thin blonde hair, maybe a baby's blonde hair. You never know what, wonder why when you look at, you know, you check on your son who's sleeping baby's blonde, my blonde baby's son. My blonde baby's only three only three. Yeah, when you checked me to relate to this analogy.

You know, when you look at them in their bed there in the middle of the night and you see a ghost leaning over their cot, you know, watching over them, right? And you think, oh, Lord, I hope that this ghost doesn't hurt my bait, my precious blonde baby, one of three. One of three, I mean, I still would have the other two. Yeah, but this one looks different to the other ones and it would be nice to just have

a bit of diversity and the thing. Anyway, you'd be lucky to know that there's only going there for its thin, single thin hair. Thin hair to tickle the foot of a tiniotic old-timey bad scientist. Exactly. Does that kind of calm you down in any way? Yeah, that's a huge relief actually. Yeah, great. Bear that in mind next time I see the coming the scenario that you describe. Please bear that.

Yeah, in mind. In mind or anywhere. Okay, bear that in thigh. Yeah, bear that. But the... Is it interesting to have a sketch in which an old timey scientist is trying to do some kind of a test to work out if your disease is caused by ghosts?

Like, in order to do that, you'd have to... Like, how do we... You think about the processes that they go through to, say, detect a bacteria, right? They've taken a swab between your toes and they want to know if it's something... Petry dish. Yes, petri dish, all right? So they put it in some kind of nutrient broth, right? And they let propagate and then they analyze the, whatever it is.

Now watch the equivalent of that, but for ghosts, you know, can you get a sample of the ghost, can you catch the ghost, and then put it in some kind of ghost-friendly environment where it'll thrive? Well, I guess you could sort of try to get a swab and then rub it on a black and white or seepia tone photo of a house and see if you see any movement in the windows. Yeah, like a screaming face. Yeah, because that could definitely... That could definitely happen.

I'm like, I mean, really the Ouija board and that kind of stuff is like a way to try and detect ghosts, isn't it? Yeah, there's also, you know, you can do a, you have a audio recording and you listen for, you know, like distortions or another thing that they do, I'm just funny, I just listen to a podcast about people who believe in this kind of stuff, where they take like a radio that changes between channels, that fluctuates between channels, and they listen for any messages that they might pick up in the fluctuating because they think that the ghost could sort of control the fluctuation to deliver a

message and it's not just random chance that they'll hear something random thing. Could you do, okay, how about this? You go to the doctor and they are recording your heartbeat or something like that. And then they say, oh my god. And they play back a bit of your heartbeat and it's like Help Help me And then the thumping goes not only from that then it starts going Help me Give me out of here Yeah, and then what happens?

Now is there a ghost in your chest? Well, I think that. Are they going to do a surgery? Would they do surgery in that? Like, would they rush to surgery? Like, we don't have time. We know there's someone in there. We know it's crazy.

There's no way there could be a person hidden inside your chest, right? But... But if there is, it's crazy to let them die. Exactly. Like, it is, we don't know how this is possible. But we've got to get in there. Yeah. Because.

And surely if it was a prank, you would stop them before they cracked open your ribcage. A prank from you. Yeah, certainly. Yeah. But if it was a prank. I'm afraid. A prank from, say,, certainly. Yeah, but if it was a prank, a prank from say a stethoscope manufacturer or... Sure, yeah. I mean, look, yeah, so I think, so let's say

they do, right? Yeah. I mean, look, there is a chance that this is just a scam that the doctor pulls so that he can charge the state for open-heart surgery because you can get a lot of money from the state because this this country has a really good it's met med system like you know a Medicare system and so but and this is probably exactly what the Republicans are trying to warn that people about is that there's going to be doctors like this who are going to pretend like there's somebody trapped in your chest cavity so they can open up for emergency open heart surgery. But maybe it's not that.

Maybe it really is a little man in there. Oh, wow, yeah, great. Oh, they could have just been overhearing something from the next room. That's true, or there could be, like if you look at the- They could be insane, incurably insane and so then you offer to crack open their skulls

Yeah, well your chest is open. Yeah, they open the chest. Okay, right? So while they've got your chest open Mm-hmm. They're like no there's nothing here You know what that means I must have hallucinated it Here's a saw. But they curivly insane. Or maybe the little man was in my eardrum. Yeah, or maybe the sound was coming from within my head. In my head, there's no time to check if that's accurate because we have to find where this

man is. Yeah, this man is. There's no time for me to sew you up even. Can you help me? I'm gonna dangle myself from this light Because I know you can't get up right now. I'm gonna get my belt out lash myself to this light. Yeah, to this and then While I dangle above you use the saw just to just just enough to get past the skull but not so far in that it cut into brain and then all the time I know now you'll know you'll feel it it feels different when you when you get through it feels like it's squishy trust me

it's got a hole if you get if it, you've gone too far. It's like someone threw a coconut. But with like what? A human life. A human life inside. Possibly too. Oh, that's right. Well, you don't know. The trouble is that you could cut in and accidentally cut the little man.

The little man who's pressed up against your brain. Oh, God. But then, if they open up his brain and they realize, it's not in there. I think when they open up, he's proud. The little man has to jump out. Or he was inside the stethoscope tube. You know, like it breaks, it breaks, you know, like it's that separation

where it goes up to your ears. That's what his legs are actually in there. And then his torso just goes down to the head of the stethoscope. Like dad was good as arms up to his side of the day and you cut it open. And he just comes and goes, oh, thanks so much for getting me out of there. I hope I didn't cause any trouble. Yeah. I'm sorry, I was, I was just walking around a stethoscope after reminding my own business. And somebody said, I bet you can't fit

in one of those stethoscopes. And then they played a prank on me and sealed it up, put me in plastic and sent me to the store. And that's the prank, it's a prank show. It's a great prank, this is our prank show that's coming up. It's a prank show. It's a great prank show that's coming up. It's a prank show called, let's hang out in a stethoscope factory and see what we can get up to. Well at the moment none of the prank shows are doing stethoscope stuff and Tony Man stuff. And then we show, I guess we, I guess then the little man points to the cameras and then

the guys with those open chests and the guys skull cap off, they both laugh. Why, you didn't, oh, well I feel really dumb. And then his brain falls out in the hole and the top of his head falls into the guy's chest cavity. Open cavity like that. And he goes, have a think about that. Yeah, get that off you. Yeah, I'm thinking with your heart.

Hmm. He's got his skull caved out. That's nothing other. This is what happens when you open up your mind. What were we talking about just before the podcast, Alistair, that we were laughing at Hartley? Oh, it was our idea of having rival podcasts and then studying another podcast where we compare the stats of the podcast. So we always feel weird when the other person does a secret comedy project with us.

And because I've started recording the possibility of some guided meditations. And we want to reassure you listeners that everything's okay. Everything's okay. And our relationship is still great. And we still, obviously, we care about you very, very much. Yeah, and no matter what happens between us, we still love you. And you're not, you're not.

This is not your fault. This is not your fault. I am, I am starting a podcast of my own. Mm-hmm. And Alistair is starting a podcast of his own. Yeah, well Andy's gonna start one called the Andy Matthews Comedy Show. Yeah. So it is? Podcast And he met these comedy show podcasts. Okay. Okay. And mine's going

to be called because I'm jealous. And so I'm going to start a rival podcast, the analyst of Tromblay virtual show podcast. No comedy comedy. I mean, if it wasn't even a comedy, I guess it's easier for me to achieve like mastery of it because it doesn't need even need to be comedy. It can just be anything. Right, and everything else is really easy to achieve. Well, I'm not saying it's drama, I'm not saying it's- Oh, it's anything. It could be anything.

It could be anything. And so you can master it. What do you think would be the easiest thing to master, obviously in an audio format? I would talk. Up until a couple of days ago, I would have told you thumb twiddling. Oh. Right. But then, I saw a video of a guy who can twiddly thumbs by having one thumb go forward and

the other thumb go the other way. And does that look crazy? Like... Andy, it looks fucking insane. Are you serious? I don't know. It just looks a bit weird, but it's just hard to do, I think. Yeah, I'm... Because you can do it with your arms, because you can sort of really get them going. Yeah, get a bit of momentum, get one arm going, and then bring the other arm in.

Yeah, like that. And they've got some weight to them, something like that. You really can't get much momentum with the thumb, okay? No, the thumb, it's all controls. It's all control of the mind. It's all conscious. And you really gotta break your mind. It's like a horse.

You gotta break your mind in to allow it to do that. And I've done it, I did that in my early years with the arms, but with the thumb. With the spinning. Yeah, spinning the arms. One forward, one back. But the thumbs, it's got, it's a hundred percent concentration. Yeah.

And so it's not the easiest thing to master isn't thumb twiddling. No. So that eliminates one. Unless, but I did say in an audio medium. So I mean, you could, you could fake it. You could, you could just be on the podcast, your thumbed whittling podcast saying, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. They're going in opposite directions. But you just, you just sound believable like your, that didn't sound believable.

I'm doing it. I suppose that's pretty good. I mean it sounds a little bit like you're twiddling your thumb but Oh, now I'm twiddling my thumbs. Oh, there they go. Yep, there's both going the same direction and Stop and now I'll just from an extra. I will get them going in opposite directions So the right one will go forward and the left one will go back and There they are as you can see that, there we go. Alice there, you know how you said you could achieve mastery of something that wasn't comedy really easily? You've absolutely done it.

That was uncannily like a podcast of a man, twiddling his thumbs in one direction and then in opposite directions. Well, and I haven't even recorded a single episode of my podcast yet. Yeah. And yours is already maxed out at a hundred percent success. Great. And so that's really great. I mean, I might have to put comedy in there just so that we're on the same ground.

I think you might have to strictly speak. Take some comedy out because it was also a little bit funny as well. Well, so that's the idea. We'll each have a rival podcast and then we'll compete for who has the best downloads, who has the best downloads. Not the most, but the best ones. Who's downloading this in the highest quality?

And you know what's another stat we're in there we should look at is drop highest quality. And you know what would be, you know, what's another stat in there we should look at is is drop offs. No, but as well, who has the best gender diversity? You're right. You know, if you can get those stats like that, you know, we're hitting 50-50. That's the best. Or 60-50. Or, you know, Alistair, 10-10-10-10-10-10- 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, to reflect all the different genders. Wow, imagine that. That would you would have to get in so deep in with some sub-genders. I'm not actually calling them sub-genders, I mean the genders. But you know, some of the ones where there's less people. Yeah.

Yeah, like there are in a sub. Like in a sub, marine sandwich. Anyway, you'd have to get so deep that you actually get almost 100% of the people of that gender. Sure, but as a percentage of your listeners, it's important that it just has to be equal. And the other way to do it is to just get one of each. Yeah, that's good too. Yeah. 50-50. Yeah, but then if you go to Spotify, you can see when people tune out as well, can't you? It's true, you can see how long people listen for it.

And apparently the people who come to the two-in-the-think tank episode, all of me, expecting the song, all of me, they drop off pretty quickly. Yeah, it doesn't seem to be. I mean, but it makes me think that maybe we should be calling all our episodes by song names. Yeah. Because then people will just accidentally click on it,

going, oh, this logo is weird for that song. Smells like teen spirit, but all right. Oh, the planet broadcasting ident at the start of smells like teen spirit, I don't remember that thing. I guess they took that out of the radio edit. Yeah. Oh, I forgot that they did this song with mouth sounds,

was two idiots doing mouth sounds. Brum, brum, brum, brum, brum, brum, br's winning in the pod in the pod champion. And also we weigh ourselves. That's right. Yeah. And then we then we do or we calculate who's got the most podcast listeners per kilogram kilogram of quality mass. Yeah. Look, this is going to be huge. Because, you know, obviously it's more impressive like the lighter you are, you're going to have more, you know, so another way to succeed in the form. That should be the bottom. That will be the final deciding statistic. Yeah. Podcast listeners per kilogram. Yeah.

You know, and so another way to succeed will be for one of us to undergo some drastic weight loss. To help your numbers. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Huge like, I just go on a like a big fast, a big fast binge. Yeah.

A real, real, real binge on fasting. Yeah. What would that look like? You're just fast for a long time. Yeah, sometimes you don't eat anything. So it's a classic way to fast. It's not eating anything. Someone made a good comment online because we talked on the Jack Drew's episode Jack the Drew's slurs. We about being eating a food that meant that you're constant low-key shitting. And I'm sorry, I don't remember your name, but somebody suggested online that if you were, what you were eating contained a certain amount of like wood pulp and glue,

that constant low-key shitting could come out of you like the sort of the feeder out of a 3D printer and you could crawl around building walls or something like that out of whatever fiber and glue that you shit out and then everybody could be their own 3D printer. Wow, yeah, that's really nice especially if you just had a bit of land. If you had a bit of land. If you had a bit of land you could start from scratch, you know you got all the wood that you can eat and all the wood and glue that you can eat. Yeah the government provides you with a certain amount of like very very barely nutritionist gluey wood. Yeah and then. It's all the housing crosses. Exactly then you start piling it up essentially like like an igloo. But you can make it as big as you want and as small as you want.

And you get to build it over time, like, it's just it'll take longer. It'll take longer, sure. But also, you'll never be able to stop. So, I think there'll be a real incentive there to go out and help the community by once you've built your house, you're still going to be constant low-key shitting out your gluey wood pulp. And you're going to have to crawl off leaving behind you your trail, defined maybe a civic area that needs a new rec center built for kids or something like that.

Maybe an ice rink for the community. For the community, yeah. Another ice rink, oh great, thanks very much. In the ice rink district. Like, you know, you've got to poop out some kind of, you know, some kind of refrigerating system. Yeah, real cold, real cold butthole. Yeah, like if you could just, maybe you could get, like, maybe we could design a machine

that just, you sit on it, and then it kind of moves you around like while you're sleeping, and then it just builds things, like, it builds the more complicated things that you can't do when you just You know it just walking around and stuff like more the finer stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah fine, you know for computer chips Well, it would be like in Minecraft because Minecraft's got very simple building blocks and yeah People are able to build within Minecraft like really complicated

Like working machines and also computing systems, which is wild, like build up some little functional units of a computer. And it'll be exactly the same as that out of just glowy woodshit, build a working computer while you sleep. We're sort of essentially becoming spiders with webs, but we're making more complex structures that are not just for catching things. Yes, exactly.

Except for love or catching help, catching the help, not the help, but yeah. I mean, our whole lives are a web that we build to catch love and help. You know, we, we, we, we make a, a series of connections, right, in the world. Mm-hmm. Those are the strands of our web. And we just hope that some unsuspecting fly blunders into them and then we can wrap them up in a sort of a cocoon of codependence and then suck the life out

I'm coming across this very negative about relationships on this episode of the podcast I didn't know you're talking about relationships I thought you were talking about eating flies Eating flies, sorry I was yeah you're right you're right I don't know why I said codependence in that. Well, we're all dependent on the food that we eat in order to live. Yeah. Yeah, do you think you could have a thing where like a fly

or two spiders catch each other, right? Wrap each other up and start drinking each other. And it's like a spider version of like a 69 or a roberos or something like that. And you know, as you swallow the one spider's innards to solve them and drink them and turn them into urine, it's they're also drinking urine, it's turning them into spider innards within that spider.

Yeah, but while that's happening, at some point you're just gonna meet, you're just gonna meet up where the innards are coming in to where the eating is happening, and then it's just gonna start spilling out. Out of each end. Out of each end. And then at some point, you'll just finish eating each other or one will die. And so, unlike the arroboros with the snake,

which kind of does have a magical, these ones will just kind of, it's really just a full on 69. It's just like a finite 69. Like, your standard 69 could actually go to infinity. There's nothing stopping. A standard 69. From stopping.

No, society. Only society stops a standard 69 from stopping. No society only society stops Society is the only thing from stopping that and maybe the limits of the human tongue fluid Right, but do you think we found the limits of the human tongue? I don't know I mean certainly science probably hasn't recorded the limits. I feel like the tongue could probably do a lot more. You know, like the tongue, it's doing so much inside our mouths. We don't really see it a lot of the time. And it's moving around. It's unlike any other part of the body and it can sort of move in any direction. It's a real utility player.

And I think the body has kept it inside the mouth to stop it from overshadowing, you know, other things like our limbs and that sort of thing. Sort of a third hand. It is a third hand, but we keep it, you keep it really in a prison, right? Like a doctor way and a doctor way behind every prison. And every prison. Behind the teeth, which are also actors, guards, who sort of sometimes bite the tongue to keep it in line and it gets, you know, any ideas.

But I do feel that the tongue, and we may have talked about, in fact, have we talked about this in the podcast before? I don't remember. We have, we've talked about tongues breaking out on their own. We just got back to it all. But for everybody's tongues head out and survive independently. Right? But what if he doesn't escape? Stays in the mouth and just writes poetry.

That's right, like the... Or trains a bird, maybe? That's the only animal that's really achieved that is the hippo who has birds come into their mouth at all times and they train them. You think that's the tongue? Well, it's the Sweden of tongues. Like, it's the hippo's mouth is the Sweden for tongues because it's like the place where people are freest. Tung's a freest because they can communicate. With whom they have a new one.

I would say that the hippo's tongue is sort of like a Julian Assange in the Ecuadorian Embassy. Like in Pamela Anderson is able to go and visit Julian Assange, but he's still not able to leave. And is Pamela Anderson a sort of a Canary in this... She is. Yeah. In this scenario.

A Canary in the town. A Canary who comes and eats the rotten flesh around around his sort of Ecuadorian embassy room. Yeah. That he keeps quite dirty apparently and doesn't clean up after his cat. Geeks man. Yeah. I didn't clean up. But I just you missed something great there, Alistair. But I called the mouth the tongue hole, and I think that that could catch on. Absolutely. Because we've got a bung hole, and now we've got a tongue hole. Yeah. And yeah, it's great.

It is spooky, I mean, it's almost like a casing. It's almost like a beautiful package that the tongue comes in. It lays in that little indent down there, it kind of fits real nice. And there are layers of packaging as well, right? Because you take back the lips, you still got the teeth there. It's like, you've got a box, and then you've put wrapping around it. Yeah, so it's definitely the part of the body that you can most unbox. Most unboxable organ.

And it is like at a pinch, if you'd forgotten birthday presence, you could lay your Christmas presents in your bed or example. You could lay your head down under the Christmas tree and maybe put a couple of googly eyes on your tongue. Right. And the kids who want a toy, they come down in the morning, they're like, oh, what is it? Right? And they, you know, really excited. They pull back your lips, right?

And then they force open your teeth. And then your tongue pops out. Oh! Oh! Oh! So I'm picturing it like, sort of like, you know, that thing where, like, instead of putting a penis through the bottom

of a popcorn box, you just stick your tongue and you're on a date and she's eating through the popcorn and you're down there. And then you got your tongue through and she reaches and she gets on the box and goes, and then she hand makes out with your tongue or something. I don't know. Or she, what I mean, it could be like because that is the penis in the bottom of the popcorn box. It's so complex.

Anyone has ever done. No. But it is a way to sort of get somebody to make contact with your genitals in order for them to give you a hand job or something. You're assuming I guess that that's what they want. So this is like a version of that, but forgetting somebody to kiss you, right? You sort of a Christian. You come to them, right? Holding a big burger in front of your face.

You say, I got you a burger. And they eat it there right against your face, but when they get to the far side of the burger, there's your time. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession resistant career in a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments, go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years, take classes online or on campus,

and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu Do you? Where's your tongue? It's been in the burger the whole time. Hopefully that I bought it too much. Hopefully, no, the whole patty of the burger has been your tongue. And you know, at first they just kind of go, oh, there's a bit of bread before we get to the patty.

Yeah. But then it's just, you just, they get there and then they get to your tongue when they start like, and they realize straight away. Then it's your tongue. And then before you know what, you're making like and they realize straight away. Then it's your tongue. And then before you know what you're making it. You're making it. Because it's hard to make the first move.

Yeah. Nobody knows. You both, you're both in love. You're ready for this. Yeah. I think it's awkward. It's awkward. The person will be so happy that you remove that awkwardness.

Yes. That you found a workaround. That they'll quite forget the fact that they ate a burger in front of your face. You're holding up to your face. I thought they don't know. They don't know where you're from exactly. You don't know what the customs are from your... They don't know where you're from exactly.

You know? And it would be rude to ask. It would be rude to ask specifically. Yeah. And so, especially this specifically, you know, do you come from a place where you get okay to hold the burgers that close to your face when you're giving it to somebody else?

Don't ask me. I get that question every day. You know, a little sausage roll might work as well. Like a little party sausage roll. Eric and you could take the meat out of that. Yeah. Stick your tongue right in that, where's that phylo pastry casing?

Oh, I reckon so. And no one would, no one would bat an eyelid, right? Yeah, no, absolutely, or, you're, that's a wonder one switch out. If you're making a Christian porno, right? That doesn't have any sense. But I'm sorry, and then just,

you could take the little bit of sausage that you took out of the sausage roll and sort of hold it next to the sausage roll as if it was your tongue, as if you were poking your tongue out the side. It was a bit of a decoy, so they wouldn't think. They won't suspect. They just think that you're being very tongue in cheek.

Yeah, out of cheek. Anyway, so. Oh, you're gonna stick it out. I'm gonna stick it out there. It's gonna be a cigar. Yeah, I think you meant it was just poking on the side of your mouth. Oh, that's good too. Yeah. They'll see the lump. They'll be, that's his tongue there. Well, I thought you meant it was just poking on the side of your mouth. Oh, that's good too.

Yeah. Yeah, they'll see the lump. No way, that's his tongue, man. Well, that's his tongue. Well, that is tongue is not going to be in this sausage roll. I should go ahead and date it in front of his face. Yeah. Um, you know, Christian Pointer that won't have any sex in it.

Mm-hmm. Like that, right? It's um, knock at the door. Pizza delivery, like that. Mm. And they open it up and the pizza delivery guy He's holding the pizza down about waist height, but also his head is under the thing He goes, where you going man like that and she goes thank you and she opens it up like that It's just his tongue sticking through and she goes, oh, she leans I'd love I'd love to marry that like that.

That's a real full on act, isn't it? Licking the tongue is out and you just lick it. But I don't think God's against that. I think God doesn't, he's not against tongue licking. Because it takes place outside of the body. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the tongue is free at this point. This tongue's never been freer.

It's a free agent. It's a free agent on your control. And you're not making babies. That's the thing that is against God, right? And I know God also doesn't like pleasures of the flesh, but it probably won't be that position. Where were that great? So is he can't just be against flesh.

Well, I just keep thinking about the person biting really hard onto your tongue. Sure, it's a danger. It's the risk you take for love. It's a risk you take for love. And nobody ever said that love wasn't risky. Yeah. Nobody ever said that love wasn't risky.

That's why I put my tongue in the sausage or drool or burger bun. And God never said if you're feeling rich, frisky, that you can't take a chance with another tongue in a pizza delivery box. I just pick you picturing that when the bun, they bite it, it gets to your tongue. And they realize I'm just going to make up with this patty. Because the patty still lands. Yeah, it's just that one of the firsts in there. Do you think maybe God wouldn't even realize?

Say God didn't like that. Yeah, right. Right. You could, could you hide from the fact that you were making out, your tongues were wrapped around each other's tongues by putting them both inside a burger bun? Yeah. Right. And God looking down, as he sees everything, but he probably doesn't like, like he probably doesn't look inside everything.

Like if he sort of looked down and he saw two people eating a burger, he wouldn't be like, I better have a look under that top bit of bun to make sure that their tongues aren't touching. That's right. And we know that he can't control free will. So we know there's limits, and he probably can't see through meat. And even if he can see through meat,

can he see through meat with the level of, to the level of detail where you can distinguish between meat patty and the human tongue? Yeah, that's right. Right, within that meat. Like, I imagine if you did an X-ray of that, which I reckon is probably how God does this kind of stuff. Like, he looks through with X-rays.

I don't think he'd be able to tell, right? Because the two meats are gonna look so similar. Yeah, and just, you know, and if he's looking X-ray, he's also seeing into the rock beneath us. Like that, and that would be confusing his vision as well. Yeah. What if it is tongue, right?

What if you get a burger filled with tongue like the animal's a thief tongue, exactly, right? That's how you do burger filled with tongue? Well, beef tongue is a beef tongue. Exactly. Right? And then you make out inside that tongue. Yeah. So yeah, okay. So you're inside the tongue. So it's like a beef tongue envelope or a beef tongue too. Exactly. You carve a hole in a beef tongue. Right. You both press your face up against either side of the beef tongue and you lick each other's tongues through the tongue.

Should you just, you just, you just hollow out two beef tongues? Yes. Just put them over your own tongues and then make out like that. With big beef tongues. It's just big beef tongues. But then I think you're not getting that tongue on tongue. Well, I mean, you're getting tongue on tongue, but it's not tongue on their tongue. It's tongue on the inside of a beef tongue.

But do you think God will be less upset? I think you know if he could if this was a thing that would bother him would he be less upset that you're not sort of in a wedlock? I think he be less upset. Tung in another person. Yeah but I also like the idea of tricking God because he can't tell where your the beef tongue ends and your tongue begins. So those are both good. Get it on through a tongue window. Yeah, tongue tunnel.

Yeah, tongue tunnel. Yeah, right. Can I say it again? Tung tunnel. Tung tunnel. Tungle. Tungle of love. Look.

I think that's a sketch, right? Yeah, okay, is it trying to trick God? Yeah, trying to trick God, and it's some God that doesn't want you to touch tongues. And I'm sure at some stage in our history God has sort of been pretty harsh on that kind of stuff, right? And maybe this even then comes, you know, you die, right? And it comes to some sort of legal proceedings in heaven. That's what would happen.

All right, where God tries to say you don't get to come into heaven, you should go to hell. Much like an asylum process in Australia, right? If you're trying to come over here as a refugee, we put you through some kind of processing, offshore processing, to work out if you're a genuine refugee. And I think it's all pretty inhumane, whatever happens. Which you can imagine things being inhumane when you're no longer a human. Exactly. And you're not in heaven yet, and God is against you, because He's got His suspicions. But you're representing yourself, or maybe you've got a hot shot lawyer, right?

Well, you can imagine if there is a, there could be an appeals process as well. You would hope. Exactly. Exactly. There should be an appeals process. Because I don't think God gets the final say in this kind of stuff. That feels very dictatorial. Yeah, which doesn't sound like him. He's a fair God. Fair God. Give us another go. What's the Supreme Court?

You know? Yeah. Above God. Yeah. Supreme being. Being Court. Yeah. Anyway.

So I got tricking God with a tongue tunnel. Yeah. Anyway. So I got tricking God with a tongue tunnel. Yeah. We've got I think I think five ideas. Yeah. Would you like to look at the words that we have from a listener? I do. I do. I think that the first of all, I just wanted to say though that this necrophilic relationship that's lost at spark. You know, I think at first it will start off a bit disgusting for, you know, to show this to people, but I think it'll progress really nicely in people. We'll be really into watching it as they see the love grow, but then also see them sort of separate a little bit physically. Hmm. Well, she feels very cold. Hmm.

But it's probably a bit aligned that we might try and avoid putting in there because it's a little obvious. Well, but we could play the song. You're hot and you're cold. You're yes and you're silent. You're up and you're dead. You're something I'm dead. Dead.

Okay, so the words that we have today are from a listener called Harvey Weisman. Harvey Weisman. Harvey, you're the king of the potter right now because I'm pretty sure I heard you mentioned on a different podcast recently. Maybe it was a primates. Sounds like something God damn Harvey Weisman would do. Harvey, thank you for your pledge. If you guys want to pledge, you can pledge $3 to give three words to the pod or you can do $8 and you can see the two extra episodes on patreon.com slash

two in tank. And $13 and I'll give you my full address. Yeah, $13. We haven't set that one up yet but that's on the way. Yeah. Also, you can buy t-shirts and merchandise. You can buy it. Which a few people have been doing and it looks really, really good and I'm going to get a t-shirt. Yeah, so if you go to our Twitter, it's our top post I think at all times.

Yeah. You can just do the red bubble. But I think it's redbubble.com slash two in tank. That sounds about right. Yeah. Sounds like something we do. So, Harvey's three words. Are you ready?

Yes. The sparrow. Yes. Bowies. The sparrow boys. I do like the way sparrows hop around. Is that the one big tail? Yeah, not that bigger tail.

I mean, it's a small bird. How big a tail are you talking? But it kind of like, their tail sort of starts out thin and gets wider on the end. And they move that tail like a little bit around. Like, you know, they do a bit of curve. No, I don't think that's a sparrow. I think you're thinking of like a tit or maybe a ren.

I think maybe a thing of a ren. Could be thinking of a ren. A willy wag tail, maybe. No, I don't know if's a sparrow. I think you're thinking of like a tit or maybe a ren. I think maybe think of a ren. Could be thinking of a ren. Or a Willie Whag tale maybe. No, I don't know if it would be that. But I think that's a sparrow. When you walk around, it's quite a compact little tale. They're just the little ones who buzz around the bottom of cafe. You know, in cafe, is eating all the crumbs and that's a sparrow.

And it's a sparrow. That's a brown bird. Yeah, well it is a brown bird, but it's a sparrow is the, you know, the designation. There was little, a little bug. You're seeing it as a swallow, you might be thinking of a swallow. I think I'm thinking of a swallow. Yeah, it's the double letter in the middle there and the S at the start and the O at the end.

But I, yeah, I'm a, I, I often get suckered into it. I have it on the same vowels. You know, that, that tricks me very easily. He's a sketch that I thought of with my wife the other day. It's off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off a broadening room. Right there in the church there and the bride says, I, I, you, oh, e, and the priest leans over and says, can you prepare some vows? That's good. It's not a full sketch, it's like a little bits that you would put into a sketch show just to break it up, you know? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Just break it up.

It could be like a wedding theme, a wedding theme sketch show. Yeah. In a way all the jokes could be sort of wedding things. Yeah, and you do. Do you take the bride? Oh, I mean, sometimes, if I'm dressed if I'm driving. No, that's what we ask when you just gotta say. Oh, you give her your hand in marriage.

Yeah, sure, but I mean the rest of it is as well, not just the hand, because that would be a macabre. They'd be very macabre. What the? Yeah. That wasn't supposed to make Andy you're looking at me like I'm like I'm I'm tearing you apart You're making me complete you know you're making me whole you make me whole because there was a big hole inside of me Yeah, and you filled it up with soft out No longer empty

We got to focus on the sparrow boys. Okay, you know, sparrow boys, you, you, um, what about, what about this, right? Okay. It's like, uh, it's a gang, right? And what they do is they hop into cafes, right? Be acting real tough, right? But then they just eat all the leftovers and then they hop away again. Yeah, here come the sparrow boys. I mean, like even if you just picture a bunch of, like, you know, diners and that you see them coming. Yeah. Like that down, you know, and they're like,

here comes the sparrow boys. Like that. And they charge it. I mean, maybe this is exactly what you were saying. But there's fear. I think I've added fear. I'm at it. I've added the suspense. I don't know where they come and they're like looking real tough like that and then they just spread out amongst the tables and they just start picking up crumbs and stuff. Picking up crumbs and stuff, you know, jumping, they jump up on top of a table, right, and they sort of jump around a little bit. Sure. But always jumping with two legs together, I think, is kind of... That's how you do it. The key... uh... sparrow... signifier.

They... I imagine they just can't move. They're like separately. Do you think that once they get inside, stuck inside a shopping centre, they don't know how to get back out again? I think that's a real... that's a real probability. Yeah. That they... Then they have to get a guy with a big net. Yeah, it chases them around.

Yeah. Where would they live when you think they live? I think they, see, I don't know where these things nest. I don't know where they live either. I mean, yeah. I don't think you see enough birds nests to account for all the birds.

Well, where do I, I see like maybe two birds nests a year. I don't even know where all the, whether birds go at night. Where do they go? Right? I've been in a tree at night. I didn't see any birds in there. So it's not trees. Do you think this is just a cave? What were you doing in the tree? I was just hanging. You know, just climb you can climb trees anytime of the day. Or not. Or night exactly. I think or not. Or no exactly. I think that's real sus. Where are all these birds go? Do you think that they're like... Do you think they've all got homes? Like houses? Do you think it's like how people are suspicious of like some homeless people that they've actually got a job and like they're doing really well and

they've got a house and that sort of thing? Maybe birds, a lot of birds just live in just, they just have residential homes. Like a bird mansion. Bird mansions, right? But they come into the city and they eat crumbs and they act poor. Yeah, that would be helped by their brown attire. Brown and gray, that's pretty much straight. That's sort of street bird attire. Brown and gray, that's pretty much straight. That's sort of street bird attire. And you never see any real fancy looking birds in this. And the birds actually

live in quite good neighborhoods. Yeah. So that's why it says don't feed the birds and stuff like that. Because the birds are actually doing really well. Yeah. And they're expecting you. They have actually all the bacon that they can eat. They're rolling in bacon. I mean, human civilization must be the only scenario in which birds have started eating bacon. Because birds probably are eating bacon, right? Yeah, I don't think they have much access to bacon in the wild. Suppose a dead, you know, a dead boar.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, a dead boar. Yeah. And they would have boar bacon, wouldn't they be? Yeah, but it wouldn't be bacon. It would just be pork, or ball pork, right? But bacon is like smoked, you know, and it's got like herbs. Yeah, that's true. You want to like hickory or something like that, and you hang it up.

That's true. I don't think it gets. But a pig that died in a bushfire. In a bushfire, near, or sort of a fracture in the Earth's crust. Well, in a sort of in a hickory, isn't hickory a wood? Yeah, hickory is a wood. So in a hickory forest, for a hickory forest fire, hickory forest fire, a, ran down the path. The bacon, smell good, good. The bird ate it. Hickory That was the last character of the story leaving Pickery Forest for our own.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like in people say in sitcoms, you never see people say goodbye properly on phones, you never see people go to the toilet and that sort of thing like in real life. Same in poetry. You never see anybody go to the toilet in poetry and they never say goodbye. They never say, yeah, you don't go to the bathroom in a poem. You don't sort of have an argument with your care about the bad thing.

Interrupted in the middle of a poem. Yeah. Oops, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to just stop the poem here, I'm getting another poem. I'm sorry, another poem is coming to me. I mean, you just have a little conversation. I think that's fun to start a really beautiful poem and then have sort of put into it your kid

trying to like interrupt going, Dad, daddy, daddy like that. And then you into it your kid trying to like interrupt, going, Dad, daddy, daddy, daddy, like that. And then you go, and he's trying to continue and then it gets harder, and then eventually it just becomes, what is it? It's a cycle. That's the name of the child.

Yeah. The child's called cycle. Wow, you can call him psych. That's true, that does sound good. So did we have, yeah, so the sparrows, sparrow boys, you've written down sparrow boys gag. Gagging. Right. I mean, we haven't really that that surface value doesn't seem like we've added all that much to the words, the words, the sparrow boys. But you know, I think I think there's something there, you know, there's guys who come into cafes knocking over the tables and the sparrow boys.

They're just after the crumbs. The sparrow boys could also be these people who are trying to figure out where birds go at night. I think that's another, I think there's a totally different sketch, right? We're really sus on birds that there aren't enough nests. Yeah, and that it's a big expose. Yeah, four corners could do it. That'd be great.

You see the birds swimming around in the pond, right? The ducks, and they want bread, whatever you give, people who come down, feel sorry for them and give them bread and that sort of thing. But what we don't realize that all these ducks are doing really, really well. And you've got lots of bread of their own. But just showing like, you know, also like pigeons, loraketes, seagulls, right.

And then you start showing the number of nests that you see around in the area. Like that. And there's something wrong. Where do birds actually live? And then we maybe we go go we see a mansion, something we go and visit some of the mansions that these birds live in. Yeah. A lot of them are costing taxpayer something. Yeah, somehow they get they're also getting welfare. They're rotting the system. And then what does that mean about hunters, you know, like duck hunters and that sort of thing? Duck hunters, sort of like inner urban duck hunters.

People just the pond out in the botanical garden just shooting their ducks. Getting duck for like for sort of dinner just gets a duck snap and it's Nick. Anyway, my mom told me that once that her friend had gone down to the local pond in Beiga and she's like, you know, we were making duck and so we went down to the pond and what's great is they they expect bread so they just walk straight up to you and you can just grab them by the neck like that. Anyway, but that turns out it was just a gag. Oh.

Well, that takes the edge off it because I was genuinely horrified. Yeah, me too. At your mother, at her friends. Sure. The people she had. It was the people of Beager. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm sure the people of Beager probably wouldn't have stood for it either.

I don't know. They seem like a bunch of bystanders to me. Ducks do stand though. No, they do. Four things. Because it's all birds stand. It's sort of a standing area. I never, all birds stand except hummingbirds. H hummingbirds are...

No, wait, are they the only ones who can't? I think hummingbirds don't want to be able to stand but they can't walk. Yeah, right. They're the only ones who can't, I think hanga bass, they might be able to stand but they can't walk. Yeah right. They're the only birds that can't walk. Homing bird, like no legs, just feet, just tiny little feet. Just feet. Yeah, and they fly everywhere. Just kind of like a nub?

It's sort of really buzzed, don't they? Yeah, like a nub. Yeah right. But they still have claws, I think, to like hang on to it. They were just like, what if their wings are tired? Like do they ever just sort of drag themselves along with their sort of defeat along the ground? He's like a kind of a crotch or something like that. Yeah.

Oh yeah, they do that. Yeah, great. Yeah. Well as long as they do that. Well I guess we should do the song to get out. No, you wanna take us through this case? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we got necroleptics. These are people who feel sleep next to the dead.

Yeah, who kind of might need a dead person to fall asleep. We got the necrophilic relationship that's lost at Spark. We got a little man in the stethoscope, Frank. There's been some really good stuff in this episode, Al. Yeah, great. I feel really tired. Yeah. And lacking in any creativity.

I'm not saying there's not good stuff. No, no tongue in the burger trick Tugging the burger trick. What a great trick. That's a good first date thing You know I'm taking the popcorn. That's that's full on you want to know somebody pretty well You need to be able to trick somebody into going to each of the individual bases before you get to anything Oh, yeah, and that's the thing is that some of it like if you're you're a woman, it doesn't mean you can't do, you know, you can do, I don't know, maybe like, you know, like a series that, you know, you can just get like a bag of, of morangs

and put your boob in there. You know, or... You know, that one, actually, that is, that works so much better than any of the other ones. A boob at a bag of morang is totally plausible. I mean, you know, admittedly, I don't know much about morang and how they behave in a sort of a bag scenario. Yeah, I guess you want them to be relatively, like, you know, they want to be sort of

stale morang, so they've got a bit soft. I think sometimes, like, it could be a bag of marshmallows. Perfect. You know those big giant marshmallows. Yeah, a bag of giant marshmallows. You just hold it against your chest there in the movie theater. So if you're a lady who just desperately wants

to somebody to touch your boob, hopefully your date, you'll boob in the mug, bag of marshmallow. Just cut a hole in the side of a bag of giant marshmallows. And you can do that with any aspect of any base in the mark bag and mark. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Five-legged spiders. I've cut three of their legs off each of the spiders. Guess reaching and grab one. It's huge, that huge. I'm not hairy. I shave them all as well. I've painted the pig. Giant, pig, five-legged spiders. Just reaching to the back and just grab one. And now you're

holding my head and it's not awkward. There's still about six or seven spiders in this bag and they're not happy. But we are because we're holding hands. I'm shooting at your hand and I'm holding your hand as well as two spiders. Um, well that's very, very good. Yeah, great. You could also, um, you could also sort of get a big box of, so that you know, get a meat tray, you know, meat tray, maybe like, you know, legs of lamb or whatever and just hide your butt in there. I like that.

You just hold it behind you like that. And what are they do why are they grabbing it? I just grab and for me, you know, maybe that's a barbecue Grabbing for me. Yeah, it's a barbecue. You go I can you reach all the meat that's behind me there because we're gonna We're gonna cut it up and do a barbecue Can you breach all of the meat? Can you reach it? Can you reach the meat? I can't reach a barbecue. You're very sure of the meat. Can you reach it? Can you reach the meat? I can't reach it because of the way I'm holding this box behind me like that.

I think, yeah, you might be able to do that by making like a sculpture of your whole upper body. Like there's Halloween costumes for like dogs. sculpture of your whole upper body. Like there's Halloween costumes for dogs, where it looks like they've got little arms that stick out the sides and their front legs are their legs. But their head's still sticking up there. What if instead of that, you replace the whole head,

right, and torso, and you somehow strap that to sort of the middle of your back, right? Yeah. And then you put a meat tray over your bending down, or your bending across, right? And you put a meat tray over your buttocks with the meat all around. But you look like you're holding it. Yeah, that's great. It's just a perception fuck up. Yeah, and then your legs look like they're in their own place, but maybe you could cover them with a sheet or something

and they look like your legs are behind where they actually are. Maybe you could lean back onto a unicycle. Yes. But cover the unicycle with a big skirt like that. And then, but with at the bottom, put like two thonged feet. So it looks like you're wearing a sarong. It just looks like you're dressing yourself. Yeah, like a really deep and wide sarong.

Yeah, like a bustle. Yeah, like that. But then, and then where your feet are, you just, you put something else to hide the fact that you have feet. Maybe some mirrors. Yeah. No, I mean, that's more skirt down there. That's skirt that's hanging on the meat tray.

The meat tray's got a skirt. Well, make it look like each one of, like, that's the wheel is one leg. And then the other where you're both you're like, sorry, it's another leg. And you're walking sideways. You're walking sideways holding this bridge right? You can't try out to one side.

Not to one side. And so with, you know, maybe both your hands could be one leg. And your other leg, your other, your two legs are the other leg. And then you've got to, you walk. Yeah, this is gonna work great. I think it's the best Halloween costume to get people to grab your butt. You have to keep asking them to. M.D. How are you, M.D.

Are you ready to make it? Can you reach the meat? Your bear butt is there with just a whole bunch of uncovered meat. bear but I could there was just a whole bunch of uncovered meat. Sorry I'm gonna be barbecuing soon. Can you get that meat? What kind of meat is it even supposed to be? Just big chunks that are made. I think you could conceivably put a bit of that netting stuff over the cheeks.

Make it look like a lamb, no pork or something. You could make it look like pork. Oh, you could just put a bit of a bone on the side or something. Sure, you could stick a bone on the side. I mean, there could be your penis. This is going to be hard to get it up there, it's on the butt. You're right. You can use somebody else's penis. Get a second person in the costume. Yeah, you say, can you reach some of that meat? Don't be afraid to grab it by the bone. Then somebody under you was riding an incumbent bicycle.

Recomment. Recomment bicycle. And you're standing on its spread eagle. If you're butt up, but your head's spout. If anyone listening can draw a diagram of what I think this would look like, and see, work out if you think this could be pulled off. Yeah.

Pulled off like the guy who's bonus. Look, I think the penis part went too far. It did, it did, and it was obscene. It was obscene. It was disgusting. And as we've established, this is a Christian podcast. We're trying to find ways to trick God into letting us tongue each other.

Tongue each other. It's a Christian God part. It's like, we love God to be happy. Yeah, we love God. We don't want him to be upset by seeing what people are touching. And he can't tell the difference between tongue and tongue. That's one of his blind spots.

One. And it's our job as Christians to find all of his blind spots. Blind spots. So as to not upset him. I think if we found out that God was color blind. Oh. Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood,. And if it gets hit by lightning. And if it exactly, if you get smited, then we'll know. Yeah. Well, it's worth doing. It's a good experiment. Then we got the Sparrow Boys gang. And yeah. Wait, tricking God with a tongue tunnel and all your tongue and there's also,

yeah, tricking God with a tongue tunnel. Sparrow and oh and there's also yeah, tricking God with a tongue tunnel Sparrow boys gang they just come in and they raid the crumbs. Yeah, and they go we got this expose Wait a bird's go where the birds go at night. They're doing okay. I need to worry about the birds. They're doing pretty good Um, let's go at night Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, you feel, you feelin' good about this one? Because I hit a real grove. A real day through.

I think rhythm wise we were goin' okay, I think we just, you know, it's always a risk trying to do notes in this thing because, I mean, we're both not in control of notes. Alistair, you're being very generous by using the word way there. So, so to aim for harmonies is really, really ambitious for us. Hello, and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the podcast where we wrap up this episode. I'm Alistair George Winsh, somebody virtual and you can find me at Alistair TV. Oh, I'm Andy and you can find me at Stupid Old Andy. We are at Two in Tank. We're at patreon.com slash Two in Tank as well. Yeah. If you want to donate it really helps. So we're about four tenths of the way to our biggest goal.

That's amazing. Which one of the way? Yeah, the, yeah. Thank you to everyone who contributed so much to getting us that far. George is getting more than you are. You know who you are. George is getting more than you. That was all we ever wanted was for George to get someone.

And George is getting paid. And we're on the way to being able to spend a day a week working on writing and performing sketches. I think it's a day a month. Day a month. Sure. But we're on the way to the day a week working on writing and performing sketches. Think of it as a day a month. Day a month. Sure. But we're on the way to the day a week as well. Well, we're on the way to being fully employed.

If you drive up a hill, you're on your way to the moon, Alistair. That's all I'm saying. Absolutely, Andy. And I'm not arguing with you about that. Right. You drive up a hill. You climb up a tree.

You're an astronaut in my book. Yeah, which is the... You fall out of that tree, you're returning to Earth after an unsuccessful mission to the moon. That's right. And that's in your book, Who is an Astronaut, by Andy Matthews. Am I an astronaut? And we love you.

Also, you can review the podcast and that really helps us. Oh man, that is amazing. Emotionally. We love it. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbrodcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

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