Two In The Think Tank - 157 - "DEEP FRIED BATTER BUBBLE"

Episode Date: November 13, 2018

Thanks to Harry's for supporting this episode! Visit harrys.com/thinktank for a special deal offering $13 worth of FREE SHAVING STUFFChew Chew Train, Cave of Bears, Vine Brick Igloo, Competititve Sleeping, Crystals, Bricking Squid, DFBBDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag.And you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtbAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereIncurable thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Alistair, today's, I want to say podcast is brought to you by, I know I have to say, Harry's. Harry's there, the people who clean my face of all its extra man, man wire. follicles.

Man foll- well, it's not really follicles. I don't think they touch the follicles. Really? Well, I would say that sometimes they do it, such a close shave. Yes. That I even feel defolicled. It doesn't matter if it doesn't happen. That's how I feel. Wow. That I even feel de-fallicle. It doesn't matter if it if it doesn't happen. That's how I feel. Wow. Okay. Right. So you'll feel de-fallicle. Yeah. Like it's a shave that is more than beneath the skin. It's sort of inside your mind.

Right. It'll change your perception of yourself. But really what it is is just on top of your skin. Oh yeah. Okay. Great. Yeah. They'd love to let love us to clarify that. I'm sure. Yeah. These are harries, all right. Now this is a part of the ad where we get real with you for a second and talk about real stuff because they sent us some soaps and some body washing stuff that we didn't even, no one's told us anything about this.

It just showed up in the mail. And it was the most beautiful smelling, wonderful feeling. The most beautiful smelling, wonderful feeling. Wonderful feeling. And a luscious wash I've ever had. And yeah, it's been fantastic. We haven't been asked to advertise that. I don't even know if it's available. We might have been sent the only ones in the world for safe keeping. That's all we know. They could have been the prototypes and the only ones that existed. Yeah. Anyway, I've washed that all over my body and used a little bit of it on my sons. My two tiny sons. He's got two. I'm a binary system.

Anyway, we'll tell you more about Harry's later on in the show, but it's first to say they've got some real good stuff for you and you don't have to pay for it. All right. Ring, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, that was called Ring the Beasts, and you're listening to Two in the Thing Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas and we try your patience and I My name is Alice to George William, Charlie, virtual and I'm Andy and We are here to bring you

Word soup. Yeah, word soup and word salad Mmm, and you know what word toast to dunk to word dunk. Mmm. And you know what, word toast to dunk, to word dunk. Do you think you could do a salad place where all the salad is linear? You know, you take all the ingredients of the salad and you just, it's called do a line, right? Yeah. And any food you want, they'll organize it into a line for you.

Nice. And you can do a line of it, right? Yeah. And you can even do a line of coke. They'll give you Coca-Cola, but it'll be in a little trough. Tony will send a trough and you chase it along. That's a great way to eat anything. It is. A lonesop. You get a real good sense of how much you've eaten, not in necessarily kilojoules, but in millimeters. Yeah. In length. Yeah. And it's all the food looks very thin. I think, I think, you know, I think

it's hard to keep track of the human mind. I get confused by volume. Volume always takes you by surprise. That's true. Not that any food guidelines are about volume, I don't think. But still, yeah. Right. Link, there's a much easier concept to get your head around. Right? If you were allowed to eat two meters a day, yeah. If it was like, if it was basically subway, but it was just salad. And so it's like, oh, would you like a foot of salad, like a foot of Caesar? Yeah. Maybe do you want a foot of Mediterranean? Yeah. And then you kind of get a general idea, like, you know, if they could like link it in maybe with like,

you know, it's for every half foot, you get, for every six inches of salad, you get a serve of vegetables. Great. As you go along, and I think you're on a little wheel, like one of those things that like they use for going upstairs for people You know, it's like a little lift thing, but it goes along

I'm the side of the chair stairs, but it goes straight along and you just eat your way So you sit down to eat and you and your party or whatever you're moving along and so wait So you're going upstairs. No, there's no stairs. It's horizontal this way, right? And you're just going along the piece of food. Oh, so it's like a sushi train, but you're on the train. Yeah, great And the sushi is stationery. Yeah, so they just line it up. They were just and you're in the kitchen and The chefs work out in the sort of the table area. Yeah That's good and you go along and if you're part because it's all the timing of how fast your little chair is going is using sensors and that sort of thing in the table.

It knows how fast you're eating. So you eat at a pace that you're moving at or you move at the pace that you're eating at more accurately. And what this will do is it will make sure that everybody is carrying their end of the conversation because if somebody in your party, your party of four or whatever, is an eating as much, they'll be moving a lot more slowly. Right?

Which, if you wanna stay together as a group, you'll see, you gotta eat. You gotta eat, so somebody else has gotta do some talking, right? So then suddenly it becomes, it's a cooperative thing because I mean a lot of the time you're eating together, but it's actually kind of disrespectful in how and how different the pieces are. And finishing at the same time is like kind of like the mutual orgasm of the meal.

If everybody has their last mouthful at the end of the meal, you know that you had a great time, right? Or a terrible time when nobody spoke and everyone focused on eating. But at least you had it together. You're really cool. Because sometimes that would happen is that your group would be going along, and you'd be going at a nice pace

because you're talking. But then a group who's not talking to each other starts playing golf. Yeah, they start riding your ass. They start tailgating you. And you're like, I wish these people, but they're all business people and they're focused on, they've got karaoke to go off to.

Right, sure. But then, see, what we've got now here is an interesting scenario where you're clearly good conversation-less, because you're not moving that fast, the conversation is flowing. Right? They're bad conversation-less, but now you're butted up against each other, okay? That we've brought the bad conversation-ists and the good conversationalists together. And now maybe you could involve them in your conversation. Okay.

Get them going, get them kickstarted. Check them a couple of topics. Sure. Would it kill you? You're coming in here with your pockets full of topics. Yeah. To discuss. And then there's those over there who've got nothing to talk about.

So then it brings people together. And then hopefully apart. Now there's a one part where I find it difficult to follow yet, because if this is all happening, how are multiple people eating on the same line? Is there multiple lines on the table or are there different table heights? There's different table heights, everyone's on their own height. But your conversation, you should shout up and the people in your group. Yeah, so somebody's just like a meter up.

Alistair, you've resolved, I think the only issue with this plan. And now it's looking good, I can say. And so it's kind of, yeah, cause now, now as you just kind of, it's a bit like a Ferris wheel, like when you're not spinning, I mean, we could. Yeah. But you, so there's people about people. No, because you wanna be able to see how much food,

how far you've come, how much food you've eaten along the line. That's right, yeah, it's important that you have your own line. I think, you know, and the table, everyone's tables, are very narrow, right? Yeah. There is the risk that you're eating off your narrow table there

as you move. Food may be falling on the people below you. But that's something to talk about. That's right. And this is all about conversation. Yeah, and it'll stop you from tailgating other groups. Yes. Yeah.

Unless you're like a really repressed group who doesn't talk up when something goes wrong. But then why are you going out to dinner at this crazy restaurant? Like this is, I mean, sorry, it's not crazy. It's a viable business idea. It's a length of salad. Yeah, and it's like a rotating restaurant as well, right? Except that your restaurant is around.

Yeah. So it's a linear version of that with a few differences as well. Yeah, it's, look, I mean, the fact that it will appeal to people who are trained enthusiasts, I think is great, because so far, so few restaurants have. So sushi trains? So sushi trains, and then there's restaurant trains, obviously, and there's restaurants in disused trains,

and then there's restaurant trams. Yeah. And there's blue train, the restaurant down at South Bank. Yeah. And. Yeah. But, but so rarely. You're right.

Do you get to eat food off of an actual railroad track? Well, no, you're not eating food off a railroad track. But wouldn't it be great too, because if you did have a railroad track, you could put the slices of like radish and things like that in the gaps between the two, you know, what's the bit of wood? What's that called? A railway. Sleeper. Sleeper. You can put it between the sleepers.

Yeah. When you don't want to eat them. No, no, no, that's how you line them up. How you gonna stand those two things up or you gonna put like a, you're gonna put bookends on each end of the... Nobody said anything. He had to be standing up, I lost it. Well, how you'd lining it up? The slices of radish. Yeah. And they just line down there.

Line down. Oh, well that seems, that just seems kind of more disorderly. Then if you're doing that, why not just put it in a pile and a bowl? I thought you were standing right on it. It's called pile and a bowl. Salad pile.

It's a rather restaurant. It's okay. There are six tables. Is salad really a pile? Is salad a pile? Because it's sort of like almost an upside down pile. The pile goes down into the bowl. Very often the top is flat. Yeah, but then often a pile kind of goes down onto the ground and then the top is flat.

Yeah, which I'm saying is the opposite. You know, I don't think that's a pile. Yeah, but that's, that's, but, but if you put a pile of things into a circular bit of ground, then it does do that. Yeah, but it's no longer a pile. Yeah, but now it's a bowl. Yeah, but you're, look, it's a bowl pile. The thing is, is that... All I know about piles is they have more at the bottom than they do at the top. Is that all piles?

That's all piles. Name it pile, but it doesn't have that. Salad. I just look. I just... Oh, in a bowl. I just don't think we need to be pile nuts, is it? Yeah, all right. I never wanted, coming into this, I never wanted to be a pile nut. Have you written that down? Like the salad train. Restaurant. Oh, that's great.

I reckon you could just take those words into the shark den. Yeah. Shark den? The shark den. I mean, a laxual shark den. So you could take thoseed in the shark den. I mean, election will shark den. You could take those words. It's a shock. Shock tank. Yeah, law and

Stan. Dragonsten. Dragonsten. Bayes. I run a suit in the dragonsten, the Australian version. I've only barely saw an episode. Yeah. But there was one guy who looked like he was a human version of a dragon.

Was that part of the show? What didn't he like? Wasn't there someone who dressed in roads and had long, long hair, some that was dyed? I thought so. I don't think I've seen this show. I mean, I know I haven't seen this show, but I think even not having seen the show, I can still rule this out. Yeah. Yeah, can I wear ropes? Yeah, it just feels like- These are finance years, these are entrepreneurs. I know, but you know, there's always the ones that are like a little bit weird.

A little bit eccentric. I always feel like they probably don't really have much money. Like Silicon Valley has that one who's like, he's got long dreads and he I don't know his name But he he he tells you how you should stay off social media because you know It's like oh and can a social media be made that you know because it's like it's like mind manipulation and things like that Emotional manipulation and then people ask him you know can can a social media be made it doesn't do then he goes Oh, yeah, and then but he doesn't make one

So who is this guy? He's just what does he do? He know he's a designer. He's a billionaire. He's a you know, he's a programmer But he's an activist, you know And he has the answers, but he's not gonna give but he's not gonna he's not gonna create a solution I can't believe that this guy, with these dreads, has all the answers. Why not? It feels, and this is my long running theory,

is that you have, if you care too much about your hair, you can't have any deeper insight into the world. Sure. Because you have to still be making decisions a bit like you have to get up in the morning and say oh I've got to look after my hair or make my hair look a certain way. Sure I guess a dread is very much a set and forget kind of thing. Is it though? No maybe not maybe there's a lot of meaning. I think you see the set and forget dreads and those guys are not entrepreneurs. Okay. I think quite a lot of, I look, I'm showing my ignorance, I don't know dreads. I don't know dreads.

Remember before when we were on the street and we saw a bit of a... You go, you look like Michael Hink. We both looked at each other but we didn't say anything. And this is the first time we're bringing it up now. Yeah, and nobody in our audience, and it's all my... Leo, it's a great opportunity to promote Dragon Friends. Michael Hink from Dragon Friends. Yeah.

And we saw a version of him. Now this is my pitch, I'll let's do it for a show. It's called the Beers Cave, right? And it's like Dragon Den or Shark Tank, right? But you go in and everyone's asleep. And then you just sort of have to tip toe out. And you got to not wake anybody up. You got to not wake them all up. And then you get 10,000. Exactly. You got to wake them up. If you can get in there and get out again, maybe you've got to get something that they've

stolen, like a... Like a B-Hive. A B-Hive, you've got to get a B out again, maybe you've got to get something that they've stolen like a B-hive. A B-hive, you've got to get a B-hive, you've got to get a B-hive, you've got to get a B-hive, if you can get out again for that weight in the month and the B is getting loose or anything like that, you get $10,000 for your startup company. And is it their money or is it just like the... It's their money. It's their money. Yeah. So like they have an incentive to be like,

to not fall asleep. Well, but also they like everyone likes a good sleep. It's true. And I reckon this could be done just genuinely during the, the while these people are like, they see, this is a thing, right? These are busy people. Okay, entrepreneurs, successful entrepreneurs,

pre-newers, right? They don't need another thing in their lives. Like, why do these guys have the time to be on this stupid TV show talking to idiots? Yeah, most. But if they were, if they did it, if they said, oh, I'll sign onto your TV show,

but I'll only do it if I can be asleep. If it can be something that slots into my sleep time, which is exactly the kind of thing that entrepreneurs would love, by the way, making it more taking advantage of. Make a bit of money for being on TV. Exactly. But they get to also squeeze in their sleep.

The squeeze in their sleep and... And all they're risking is occasionally giving away $10,000 to a person who sneaks in and doesn't wake them up and takes to be high. Exactly. And what does that teach you? That teaches you to respect the entrepreneur and their sleep. Mm. Right.

That's right. Don't disturb them. Don't disturb the entrepreneur. I reckon $10,000 if you got that much money, $10,000 for a good night's sleep, I think that's nothing. Yeah, I think once you're making the big bucks, once you're sort of like the head of some juice company, you know, some, you know, something.

Oh yeah. The thing when they put, you know, a franchise. Yeah, a franchise, so they put, You're in a franchise. They put the, get put candle open a blender with some ice. Charge $18. Yeah, charge 18 bucks at this point $10,000 for a sleep is cheap They get they get get 13 year olds to blend the candle up with ice. Yeah That's a $45 extra with weight June and hey, and even if you do lose that $10,000

You've got like a 50% share ownership in some guys. Something you card game that he invented where it's like, it's mages. And the great thing is that you don't have to worry about that, other because you don't know what it is. You don't know what it is, and they're probably going to put some 13 year olds onto that. Yeah. And look, if it's just a blue sky project, if that, you know, ends up... Everything's about taking risks Exactly. You know you take these be roll the dice. You see what happens one in you know one in one hundred will make a billion dollars I think that's the rule of thumb

What about this is a game, right? And you this is a Right down cave of yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a bear cave cave bears It's by A beer cave. Okay, cave of bears. It's by low cell hibernate. Great. Doesn't work on any level. Was it, was it, is by low a place in Australia? It is. It's a supermarket chain.

I think it's one in the UK as well. By low? As I survived. I don't think that exists. I think it's one in the UK as well. Violet? Violet. Is that survived? I don't think that exists. I think that turned into coals or purity. No, safe. Woolworths. What was the by-law meaning? You buy. I don't love price, but you don't have the option to buy it high. Or do their prices fluctuate with market? No, they're just telling you that you can buy it a low price because they have low prices.

No. I like a thing that doesn't mean anything. Coles. I mean nothing. Aldi, you know. That's amazing. Sears, zealors. These are all things that mean nothing.

And I like that. Nice, Macy's Fifth Avenue. Yeah, I don't see it. Fifth Avenue. That Fifth Avenue means too much to me though. Yeah, you're right. You like, you don't like hidden meaning, you like visible lack of meaning.

Yeah, what about this? Blunders, okay, let's say we opened up blunders. Yeah, what about this? Blunders. Okay, and let's say we opened up blunders. Yeah. Right? There's no other meaning in that. People are already doing low prices. But, you know, and people are doing, you know, high, high, like high sort of, you know, fancy things.

Yeah. There's got to be another thing that we can do that offers something better. All right. This is it. Yeah. Right? You get it from the shelf. Yeah.

Right? And it's got a little digital thing on it. Yeah. Right? And it costs zero dollars. Okay. Right? And then as soon as you take it off the shelf, that starts counting up.

Right? And the faster you can get out of the shop, the lower you get it for. And we have self-serve checkouts. Yeah. Right? And it just gets people through. Keeps counting until it's, until it's, until you've finished all your groceries or whatever. So it's like a kind of, it's like a supermarket with taxi rules.

Yeah. Sure. Sure. And, and some people will go there because of the competitive element because I mean, I think the competitive element is pretty, I think that will certainly get some people in and people will train for this kind of thing. It blunders. Blunders, yeah. And but also it, well, it helps you clear the shop, get people to, there's also the

really the chance of a bargain. It encourages people to know what they want before they go to the shop as well, like have it all in their head. All right. Like other screens outside, so you can almost like just do the research or do you have to like just learn over the years of going on? Over time, it's like playing Donkey Kong or something.

You just have to do it and do it and learn the layout and that's something But things move around as well. We keep it tricky And it's plunges And it's and it's three stories high But no there's no solid floors the floors move as well. It's like in the Harry Potter world correct But like is there another thing that isn't

Price that would would make people buy products? So there's quality. But like how, you know, like, you know, people, you know, like chefs are always like, you got to start with high quality ingredients, right? Yeah. But like, how do you get a high quality tomato? Like, like, how is a tomato better than another tomato? Probably if you get it from some farmer who doesn't like spray them with

these stuff or like grow them hydroponically or let them... Oh, it's all about... you'll let them ripen on the vine. That's a big one. Yeah. Vine ripened. That's good. That is good. That's good. You know what the thing is? I think that the tomato, the vine, smells better than the tomato. Interesting.

Yeah, everything all about that. Yeah, I'm thinking about it now. Yeah. Yeah, everything all about that? Yeah, I'm thinking about it now. Yeah. Yeah, I think you might be right. I would rather, like that when I smell that vine, it smells so delicious, but when you need it tomato you go, what is this shit? It's sort of flowery, flowery. But you're right.

Yeah, okay. You're adopting this position for comic effect, Elisir. I understand. What are you talking about? I'm talking about how, okay, well, are you including cherry tomatoes in this? No. Okay, are you including, like, cooked tomato,

like, you know, tomato, passata, sauce, that kind of thing? Yeah, I'm sure you can do some cooking to make the tomato okay, but couldn't you do some cooking to make that vine excellent? Like is the vine, is the problem with the vine? Is it a eating wood? We're eating wood.

I mean, it's been a while since we ate some wood on this podcast. It's a gateway wood. I don't think it is a wood. But you think it's a bit, it's a bit, but it'd probably be too fibrous. Mm. You know, it's somewhere between a vegetable and wood. You're right. Maybe we need to look into eating vines.

Mm. And then we'll wait, okay, I'll weigh down to eating wood. Right. It's too big a step eating wood all in one go. You're right. You're right. And probably the digestive system would be able to handle that either. So let's take, let it adapt.

Let it adapt. Yes. Seed vines for the next three million years. We're so great if we could all agree to do something like that. Yeah. Right. It's an investment. You never get any politicians with any vision these days. I think it's because of the four year to three year terms. Exactly. Right. And democracy is dead. Let's install a dictatorship. Let's get a benevolent dictator.

And somebody who says, all right, everybody, I got a vision. Yeah, would. Six million years time, snap a twig off a tree, eat it, go about your day. But what that means, it's gonna take it to the time. All right, and you got it, we put, you know, you think about the World War One, right?

You change the economy overnight. To the war footing. I'll World War Two maybe. Yeah. Yeah, I know. To get everything up and running to build the stuff and, you know, make the planes and fight the war. Turn the can thing into a cannon thing.

Yeah. This is behavior. Change the workshop into a sort of military wrench, rope store into the hang people with the rope for, it was very quick. But and this isn't even that quick, you know, we're just saying we want, give me three million years, everybody started in a little bit of a vine now. It's like one vine a week. Yeah. Right?

You can just chop up the vine into little bits and just stir it into the food to currently. Of course, because the thing is, right, the thing is we're fighting evolution really here. Or we're sort of, no, we're fighting humanity, right? Because I wait and we're forcing evolution. Because people are going to start dying, right right because they can't digest the violence right? Family members are going to start to die. They'll get sick, right? But what we need you to do is to keep feeding them the violence

Because it's important that they die off So that we can strengthen the gene You know move towards people only those who can digest the vines can survive. So we need to breed and die faster, and the vines will allow us to do this. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think the people who will keep surviving are the people. Especially the tomato, that's the deadly nightshade family. Those vines are probably poisonous.

You think so? Yeah. Deadly nightshade. Yeah. This is, you're get a text George. This is, well, wait, what was I gonna say? I look, first of all, because well, I mean, to speed evolution along,

not only is the dying important in the- I reckon if somebody is eating a vine, they even look like they're not enjoying it. You just shoot them in the head, right? There you go, that's the way. Because they weren't gonna make it anyway. Right? And we're in a hurry.

But, you know, could we do a nicer way? I know, I know, like, I know shooting is more efficient. Could we just put them in a room? Oh, hello. Yeah. And then what? It's less cruel than shooting. You just put them in a room that they can't get out of.

Can they tie some of those vines together? Shoot me down or shoot me out the window. Well look how about this. We just build a really big wall around the city and it's the vine city and we but we break it up like it's an eglue. Right. So nobody can get in through the things like that. But if somebody shows any just taste for the vine, they go outside. They're outside. They're not allowed. And then they have to just go survive on their own. That sounds like they'll probably do a lot better than the people in the vine city. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You're thinking that's what you're what to me, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but not

in the long run. Not in the long run, because three million is the other track. People in that vine city, that brick-dove-a-vine city, where by the way, this is how it's gonna be any sunlight. I reckon it's not gonna be very trees to eat. Well, what about the bridge? Well, what a baby who is born. No, but they're gonna eat wood. There won't be anything.

No, no, look. Well, well, first of all, we'll have lots of stores of wood in there. Yeah, and the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made.

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And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. And the houses are only made. that you can sort of see through. Oh, that was a good one. Yeah, those guys are like, they're a bit clear, but you can't quite make out a boob. Yep. You know? You're like, that was the brief for deciding those bricks. Absolutely.

Kind of clear, but you can't make out a boob. You can't make out any outline, any phone outline. It's like a censorship kind of thing, isn't it? Exactly, because this is a window. You could still see where the pubic hair is. Yeah, you know that there is a boob there. But it's, yeah, but on the pubic hair is on the boob. Yeah, great.

And but there's, it's so blurry, it's too abstract to feel anything, any physical response. It feels like it's only a flick of the dice that tosses the coin, that we didn't wind up with boobs, have beards. Boobs have beards? Yeah, because they're a sort of a genital related region in the same way that the crotch is, right? And the crotch is sort of a folder,

you kind of slightly, sometimes sweaty space. And it feels like the reasons that you have hair there are the same kinds of reasons that you would have hair under a boob. That's true. Right. All the conditions for hair to thrive are present. It's a sweaty area that you kind of want to catch smell in. Yeah. Is that what it was? Yeah, I think, I think. So, because that's, I mean, think about how, like, because that's, I guess, the idea was that a lot of your personality is in your smell.

And how do we get to know each other? Before, I guess when they designed humans, you know, or when humans evolved out of rocks, the rocks from rocks. We, how we got to know each other, but pre-names, they didn't predict names, we're gonna come. And so it was all just little smell bushes, where you would trap smells, and then you would mostly, you'd go like,

think carols here. I mean, yeah, but you wouldn't say Carl. You think I think that guy, not that guy the other day, who's like, you go with that smell. Yeah, the guy with that smell, who like, he'll show when you, I don't like, dig grubs up with that stick.

That guy, he's back, I can smell it. Yeah, he's back, he's been in this area. And this doesn't feel like this is how, that to work. But, do you think that's where the word because the word perspiration and the word person They got to be connected they got to be person and the word purse purse Could be oh my god, you're right and And a purse is where you keep your sweat exactly and your ID and a purse is where you keep your sweat. Exactly.

And your ID. And isn't an underarm just a smell purse? Yes. An identification purse. Yeah, you just open it up. Like that. And then you let out and you go, this is who I am. Yeah. Um, how is this useful?

But do you think we don't, we don't understand each other as much? Because now when somebody smells, you just kind of tell them to go clean yourself. Mm. Mm. Like you're in, like there. They think it's an identity. Do you think we're losing our identity

is all something in some way? Go wash off your identity. Yeah. Go wash off who you are. We've changed it so that our identity now is CK1 Dove Soap. It's Harry's Shaver's foam smell. Which is great, by the way. Wish I could eat it.

Should we tell people a little bit more about Harry's? Well, Andy, if you want to bring it up, that's okay. I've just got some stuff I'd like to get off my chest. Firstly, my boob here. And then, but if I did have boob here, that would be the perfect smooth. Imagine shaving your boob here with a Harry's razor. And this is what we're offering. All right. Break it down for me. Listen to our podcast, can go to harrys.com for a slash think tank. And for the low, low price of nothing, no money,

you can get a Harry's Shave Pack valued at $13. The starter pack, right? What do you get? Alistair, tell us, take us through it. You get that weighted handle. Oh yeah. Oh, you get a five blade razor. With an extra blade for shaving under your nose.

Oh yeah. Find detail one there. Little one at the tip there. Yeah. I've never seen that before. Also, that would be perfect for your boob beard doing under the nipple. You know? Around the nipple. Around the nipple. Okay. Around hard to reach places. Maybe even in the creases of an erect nipple.

You could get in there. You could get in there. This is how thin this blade is. Now you've got also you've got your shaving cream, gel foaming gel. You've got your travel case. I'm gonna eat that, I'm gonna eat that gel. And I'm gonna eat that travel case. Hahaha. Yeah, that travel case, by the way,

we're not talking like some sort of trundle wheel thing. This is not a thing that you're gonna have to put in the overhate compartment. It's like a duffel bag. There's a little thing that clips over the head of your razor. It stops the blade from like chopping up all the stuff in your backpack. It stops the blade from giving all the other things that you own a tight, close shave. Yeah.

Which would make them feel like they're your equal. And it's important that you feel superior to your possessions. And that is why you should go to harry.com forward slash think tank, get this deal for nothing. And then you can just walk away as far as I'm concerned. You can walk. You can walk for days. Walk for days with Harry's chase.

That's right. Now this is my other idea for a show, Alistair. Yeah. Okay. And it's a show. It's kind of people have to try and do inception. Right? They have to try to do it. Try to do it, but like not with going into people's dreams or anything. It's just whispering stuff to people who are asleep. Right? We have monitors on the people so we make sure that the people can't wake up.

But you just got to whisper stuff to them. What kind of monitors? Like, sleep monitors? But when you say it's like, we have to make sure that they can't wake up, but you just got a whisper stuff to it. What kind of monitors? Sleep monitors. But when you say it's like, we have to make sure that they can't wake up. Is it like, we have an anesthetist who's giving them something to keep them under? And they're genuinely asleep. It's real sleep, the sleep of the living. So you get somebody into your TV studio, you go,

go to sleep, go to sleep in this big studio. Don't wake up. Don't wake up. Ignore that audience. We'll be monitoring you. Don't wake up. We'll make sure you don't wake up. Look, I never said there was an audience, but I like where you go with this L.C. And then people come in, they whisper stuff to them, right? Mm-hmm. And when the person wakes up naturally.

Naturally. Oh, maybe you've got to shake him a wake so you can get him in the middle of a dream. Anyway, we then ask them, if they can tell us what they was whispered to them in any way. Right, they describe their dreams and that sort of thing. Okay. And then the more information they can give

about the stuff that was whispered to them, the more money you get. So, the people who would do the best in this are people who just pretend to them. Yeah. The more money you get. So, so the people who would do the best in this are people who just pretend to sleep. No, that's why we have the monitors, the Alistair, so that we can check that they're actually asleep. Genuine sleep. Okay. All right. All right. It's the okay. How about this? The people who are asleep, right? They want to not remember anything, okay, that they had whispered to them All right. Yeah The people who because it's a competition the people who are whispering yeah, all right

They want the person to remember lots of stuff. Yeah, so they can get some money now. Do you see the floor in this? Well, the if the person just tries to mention things that weren't whispered to them. Great. That and you're right, Alisa, that is the floor. And that is why as soon as they wake up, we hit them with a huge dose of some sort of truth serum. Okay. Sodium pentathol. What about just love? Love. We surround them with love and make them feel that they can't lie. Okay. Because that would hurt the people who are close to them. Right? And then so they divulge anything that they heard in their sleep.

Yeah. And you know. I mean, look, I think it's a great, it's a really great idea. I'm just trying to find a way to turn sleep into a competition. Yeah. A game show of something. What about who slept the longest? That's a good game.

That's actually a great game. Like marathon sleepers, right? So these would be people who would stay awake for ages, you know, beforehand. Yeah, and then you just monitor. As soon as they go out, you start the clock. Yeah, right. But then they might just wake up at some point, because they're tossing in turn, they lose

straight away. Yeah. And I think if you wake up a little bit, they shock you. To make you all the way away. All the way away. Yeah. And so that you can feel bad. And then also, you can always tell

when somebody wakes up but they're pretending to be asleep. So there'd be experts at that who are just watching them. Yeah. Who can tell if they're just pretending. Yeah, who can catch out a faux sleeper. Um, I tell you who sponsor this mattress companies. Oh yeah.. Because that could be part of your equipment. You could bring in, you know, the kit. Right. Competitive sleeping. I'm just writing this again. Like a pole vault.

So they bring their own poles? Or can they bring their own poles? I mean, you couldn't go in there. You wouldn't want a group pole. Like somebody else's pole. Yeah, it would be all sweaty and disgusting. Yeah, I think it could be tampered with. You got to know the pole. It's like a horse or something. Exactly. You give it a name.

You know, you brush it. Yeah, you brush it. You put sugar on it. Like a horse. What would you call your poll, Bendy? Shafty. Tubo? Long boy. Err... You know, some dick reference, maybe? Yeah, flippy stick. Flippy stick. Yeah. Err...

Andy, I want to go back. Sure. I mean... I want to go back to the Vine Brick Eglue. Yeah, right. I think people get really into that. Just because I think what's happening here is that this is, you know, this is the first mayor who's really starting to give a shit about sort of human diversity and who's trying to make some some properly Leaps forward. Yeah, because I think you got to also diversify

What all the humans eat so that we don't run out of food Yeah, I mean sure we could try to make more food. Yeah, but couldn't we just adapt our bodies to turn things that aren't food into food? Yes, and so this in this eglue anybody who shows a distaste but couldn't we just adapt our bodies to turn things that aren't food into food? Yes. And so this, in this eglue anybody who shows a distaste for vines, whatever, and you know, gets kicked out. You cast them out. You cast them out.

Right? Sucked in, you say. Sucked in, sorry, you can't be in the vine. Can't be in my glass brick vine, eglue. Vine eglue, like that. And it's just, it's a green house for growing vines. Yeah. And we export tomatoes.

Ha-ha-ha. But which we've got heaps off, by the way, because we don't aid them. Yeah, we've got loads. We've got passion fruit. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation.

You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. Yep. And the best thing is you can sell the passion fruit inside of the passion fruit to another eglue where they just eat passion fruit or whatever. Yeah, but I mean people already do. Yeah, people already like that, but some people don't like it. Yeah, right.

So I guess you could get, but then you can take the shells of the passion fruit and send that to another e-glu. Well, hopefully that's not. People will just try. Yeah, okay, so these are almost like evolution laboratories. Yes, but, or like the Australian Institute of Sport is for swimmers. This is for vignators.

And yeah, but we're 25 years from the complete collapse of ecosystem. And these are the last tries. These are our, these are our last attempts to just find ways of like just staying here for another 50 years or something. If we could just start eating vines, we won't run out of vines for a while. You know, we got plenty tomatoes, but if we could eat those vines, they're denser, so there's probably more calories per cubic centimeter, just how you measure it. Yeah, unless you're at the train long line restaurant doing a line, which is a measure it by. Obviously, they're going to be measured in length.

Yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to add that to the bricycle. But I guess it's just going to start with one. Yeah, I think what's great about this is it's also a form of exploration. Like we would put a man on the moon as a way of taking the first step towards one day living on the moon. Instead, we're putting a vine in a man. Yes. the moon. Instead we're putting a vine in a man. Yes. And an exploration up until this point has been sort of too much of a thing where it's like somebody volunteers. You know, and not enough, it's compulsory or else you're out. I think it's compulsory or else you're out. Only really works for things that you would want to be in.

Yeah. I know, but this is your home. And there's so much honor in knowing that you're doing the right thing. What, like what were really bad? Yeah, obviously you're doing the right thing. People who don't want to eat vines are cowards and they'll be given by the, you know,

elderly women in the community. They'll be given a white feather as they leave the igloo. People who don't want to eat. And that be shamed. People who don't want to eat vines are the same people who refuse to stop taking plastic bags from supermarkets. Exactly.

They're like, they won't change. They don't, they refuse to change, right? And whereas we're like, we're going to find the bacteria that comes in your gut that helps you process vine. We're going to find it. It's probably on vines. So if you just eat more vines, eventually you'll get the gut bacteria. If not, then- That'll be on our flag.

Just eat more vines. Eat more. Just eat more vines, right? And then we'll probably also start looking at other creatures that eat vines. And then because this was the problem, right? Then we start looking at them. Well, then we have to we've eaten a bunch of vines. I think... Let's get a good stomach full of vines first. Everybody fill up on vines and then we'll go start researching creatures that can digest vines. But you know what they say.

You don't wanna go searching for vines creatures on an empty stomach because you'll just take the first vines creature you see. Well, this is the problem is that if you just, if you don't try vines, you don't even know if you can eat vines. Exactly!

At this point, all we know is that we don't eat vines, but they smell so good, right? But we don't eat them,, but they smell so good, right? But we don't eat them. All right, that's the problem. And so if you ignore the common sense answer to that, which is start eating vines, right? This is common sense. This is common sense.

And you need people we need more common sense. The mayor was inspired by a report on the national broadcaster about how climate change had affected all these farmers in a nearby region. Because of an overly hot summer, all of the tomatoes just brought on the vine. But that vine was still there. That vine was looking mint-might. Yep, but that vine was still there that vine was looking mint mate. Yeah, I mean It's got a little bit of tomato rot on it a little bit, but you can just you can hose that off you can hose it and the vine stays fine That's on our other flag The wine stays fine

Tomatoes rot but vine stays fine I love how you got that tomatoes rot bit to sort of rhyme with the overall thing. The guy isn't even anti-tomato, but you're not allowed to eat tomatoes in this town. Well, it's our major export industry. We'd be crazy to eat them. We're going to make sure that they're too expensive. It's like that thing in Bolivia, or wherever you can't eat corn anymore, because it's like, because they're exporting it,

and it gets too good a price. Isn't that quinoa? Quinoa, probably quinoa, and then I think in Mexico it's corn sometimes. Yeah, right. You know, it's gonna be like that, but we're gonna force that on our people. Tomatoes are too expensive,

but because they're too shit. And people talk about forcing things on the people like it's a bad thing. But we just need to reframe that. So we like, it's okay, we're forcing you. Like we're just doing it in a, we're saying, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay, it's okay.

Don't worry about it, we're forcing you. Don't worry, it's compulsory. You have to do it, or else, it's okay. You have to do it, or else you get kicked out of the viney glue. You don't have a choice. You don't have a choice. Sure, you can go out there and eat whatever everybody else eats. But when it comes to smell as good as that vine, though.

It won't smell as good, and if all that food eventually goes All that'll be left is fine and we're gonna be a people who may have adapted to be able to eat And you're gonna come crawling back And once you get here the only thing that'll be there here to eat is fine Nothing tastes as good as this bond smells I read some things. Smell better. I mean, yeah. But nothing smells exactly the same as this vines.

Exactly. Except for maybe the little green bit on the top of the tomato, but we don't know whether or not that's edible. Wait, I'm touching that. That's not our thing. That's for another eglue. Yeah. And another mayor.

Another vines, another time. So that's pretty, pretty compelling. Have you written that down? Well, it's Vine Brick e-glue. Fantastic. Yeah, Vine Brick e-glue, not Vine Brick. I mean, we could learn how to make clear bricks from the vines, but then we'd be cutting into our foods from the vines. Bricks from the vines! What's on top? That's me!

I'm very punctual. Was there something between vine, brick, and competitive sleeping? I guess there was your thing about it. Whispery thinks to the face of a wal I was asleep. I mean, but is there a... I look, to be honest, all it was is I want to know if that's actually possible. Okay. I want to know if anything goes in when stuff is whispered to you while you're asleep. Yeah, well before we... I may have built too much for a complicated TV show around it though. I think before it becomes a big competition, a big competition TV show,

maybe it could be a thing that lovers do to each other. I should just dance gently to whisper some stuff to. Yeah. Where lovers? You guys are lovers. And then, and then what's also let's say she whispers for about, wait like five minutes is that? Yeah, that'll do it. So if she's awake, I guess that'll happen right now because she's having to feed the baby. The baby and she's not doing I guess that'll happen right now because she's having to feed the baby. The baby and she's not doing anything. She's not doing anything. She's just looking at her fine. Well, yeah, exactly. So, but once as soon as she's finished feeding the baby,

before she goes to sleep, yeah, before she goes to sleep, she shakes you like really intensely to wake you up and then she finds out whether or not boss He was whispering things. Yes. You picked any of it up. Yes. Actually, well I mean she does wake me up to change the baby's nappy at the moment.

Yeah. It's like this is actually so good for my lifestyle. I knew there was a reason why I felt there was something in this. Like this. And so, and what are you hoping just to know whether or not things that are whispered to you? What's the conclusion you're looking for? Because do you want her to start shaping your dreams in a certain way? I mean, it wouldn't be something. It would be intimate. Surely she had control over my mind while I slipped.

And I was at a kind of control that you'd want to relinquish. I guess it's kind of it's an energy. I wasn't doing anything with it, anything. Yeah. Well, but you could also get her to go like we whisper like, hey, can you give me the best joke idea that's ever happened? Use my subconscious brain for some processing power, like mining Bitcoin when your computer's not being used.

Exactly. And then she wakes you up and she gets you to tell you the joke. Yeah. I mean, it will definitely work. Who was that person? Who was that writer? I mean, was that Jacqueline Hyde guy who used to say that he had fairies. He'd talk about his or his elves. Is that Robert Louis Stevenson?

Maybe who had elves or something like that that he believed he could just say, I'll put the elves to work and they'll give me my story and they'll make the story in the night time. How I stand the tips of our toes just touched under the table. You had the tip of your big toe brushed across the tip of my toe and there was a lot of panic in both of our eyes. I forgot that you weren't wearing shoes. We're both not wearing shoes at the moment because it's quite warm. Where we are.

Yeah, in the southern hemisphere. Here in the southern hemisphere. And, yeah, we're both sitting in exactly the same posture with exactly the same color pants and under the podcasting table. Are same colored feet touched each other? Yeah, the tips of our toes brushed across. And in that moment I felt like there was something passed between us. Maybe a fragment of energy.

Yeah, maybe a cent. What was that thing we were talking about on the train on the way up? That was very funny. A crystal. Oh, a crystal. A crystal of a special power. Yeah, we're gonna invent a line of crystals

that have special power. There'll be like purple and sort of, you know, all crystal-like. But written on them will be be one will be written logic. And the other one will have skepticism. Yeah. And you could sort of put them in your drink bottle. Yeah.

Like that. And while you eat at night, and drink the day. While you eat it at night. Yeah. While you eat it at night. While you eat your drink bottle at night. And drink the day. And then you can just say get out and then go home. Oh, there you go, just take it out,

and then go home, and then you can fill it up with rocks again. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, so we're gonna try and find a way to create a line of crystals, and one will give you the power of lodging, and the one will give you the power of skepticism. And another one I'll say, not getting ripped off,

but getting ripped off. That one's like 180 bucks. That one's a 180 bucks per crystal. Yeah, right. And those crystals are a lot smaller than the other ones. You need several. You need several and you gotta get some. Like sending you back to get recharged. You drink some of that water and you still feel like you've been ripped off. You're like, you need more. So you gotta buy another six or seven to put it in your drink bowl. They're very small. Yeah. And but they're very, but they're, they're, and they're also very weak. They're very small, but they are very weak.

And so that's why you got to buy loads, but they're super expensive. Yeah, they're all these bugs and little insects and stuff that can all carry like 500 times their own weight and stuff. Are there any small things like that that are very weak for their size? Like even for their size, they can stick, like if they were as big as us, they wouldn't even be able to pick up a piece of paper or something like that. You know, the real...

Yeah, what's the biggest thing that is the weakest, the biggest, biggest to weakness ratio? Ratio. Yeah. I feel like there would be something. biggest thing that is the weakest, the biggest, biggest to weakness ratio. Right, yeah. I feel like there would be something, we find wherever that, that what's, that size is, where that, where that tip is over. I feel like somewhere around like the mouse kind of thing is probably about right? Well, mouse doesn't seem strong.

I mean, they seem... Exactly. Yeah, but what about the sloth? I mean, they can hold themselves up. I guess they'd be muscular because they're... Yeah, but they just got hook legs. I don't think they're really holding anything. They're toes. So they just dangle. They're like basically a coat hanger. So they're just a... yeah, and that's why they move slogs. They're not strong. But does that mean that they're struggling the whole time? Because it feels like even...

Constantly struggling. Oh. I am a sloth of constant struggle. Yeah, exactly. A lot of songs in this episode. I love it. Yeah, what was the other song? What was the... I sang some dumb thing, I don't remember. So, did we write that down? The Crystal's Business? Yeah, it's just a good business. So, if there's anybody who listens to us who has either crystals business and a way of writing things onto crystals but also a desire to give us a portion of the profits but also web design skills. Yes also web design. Business management. Oh maybe this is just something red bubble does. You really got us you

sell like we sell t-shirts and red bubble do crystals. I don't know if they do crystals Get out of them see if they can get our logo on some crystals Hey, we've got a bunch of ideas and we got some words from our listeners. Yeah Okay, we do something with those well three, three words from one of our Patreon supporters. And this Patreon supporter has donated some money so that he can donate three words to the podcast and that we come up with an idea based on his three words. Now Alistairo is obviously French Canadian, so what he's doing is okay. He's okay.

But what I did earlier, I apologize for. What did you do early? I said Patrion. But no, it's correct. It's correct. You can do that. Because you did a little bit of French when you were in the prime school. Yeah, it's okay.

I can do that. I did some French in primary school. Yes. So, the tree world afram a listener who is known as Henri Smith. Enri Smith. Enri Smith. Enri Smith. Enri, thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Henry. I haven't even heard the words and I already know. They're going gonna be delightful. They're gonna be fall upon me as soft kisses from a angel butterfly. Hmm an angel butterflies perced buttic. Great. Is that a thing perced? Is that what you do with your lips? Yeah, you purse your lips. But if you could do it with your butterfly butterk. I think butterflies with butts is something I could be into.

Yeah, just like, it's just a regular butterfly, but at the end, at the end of the stem, at the bottom part, just there's a little fold. Yeah. Like that. And it's pink. Yeah, and it's just, just a human ass. Yeah. Oh, that'll be cool. Sorry, I'll be cool.

Henry said, I said pink there. I realize I erased the great spectrum of what could be all the different butterfly asses. But that shows me it's just being trapped inside my own prison of pink. Yeah, pink prison. Pink prison. All right, here's Henry's three words. Fesant, brick, intrigue.

Now, you know how people, yeah, this is British tradition of hunting game. Yeah. And then they go out hunting animals, hunting fesants is a big part of it. Right. And the beaters are out there and the beaters have got to hit the bushes and get the fesants to fly up into the sky and then all the rich people are there with their guns, sort of shooting more or less towards the beaters, but it's okay, they aim above their heads, so it's fun. What about that, right?

But guns haven't been invented. And all the rich people are out there with bricks. Just a magic of bricks. A bag of bricks, hurling them up into the sky, hoping they hit a fesant. Sure, I mean, I mean, why would it also be fesants? You know, it could be something else. Well, fesants was in the description. That's where I got that from. I know what we could use. What are you thinking like ducks? Ducks, I mean, what else could be in a bush? Squish, bush. You know what?

They don't, aquatic creatures. What's the equivalent of that, right? They go out there, I say you're dropping bricks on squid. Yeah. As a form of hunting? Well, that's it. You get the rich people.

They're just a small island off of the United Kingdom who came, you know, who all the traditions come from the United Kingdom, but they don't have the vast fields of much of the rest of the kingdom. Yes. Right. the rest of the kingdom. Yes. Right? But they do have a lot of quite shallow water. Yes. Where, and a brick factory.

And an abundance of squid. And abundance of squid, yeah. They drop bricks on them. And they just, but there's a guy, he goes around, near, like he bushes a seaweed, or sort of just like near rocky areas and he bangs. Bangs it with a little underwater stick. And the underwater stick like that. What's something that would reverberate well underwater?

A bell? A bell, yeah already. It's a bell. Yeah, it blows down a tube. He bursts a balloon. I imagine that would quite an interesting effect. I think it's burst a balloon underwater. Why don't that be like?

Take a balloon down there, pop it. It's love to. Pop it. And then so then you get these rich people out there and they go out for a nice day of dropping bricks on squid. Like that and it's, you know, but they're they're hurling them right they're not just dropping them Well, it's interesting because what if you think about shooting a bird, right? We are fighting against gravity with our bullet to shoot something in this kill something in the sky. Yeah, right?

something in the, kill something in the sky. Yeah. Right. But it makes sense that when we go out to see that we would work with gravity to crush something in the ocean, you know. So dropping a brick straight down feels like a, you know, kind of, you know, you see the thing down there swimming along. Right. You got a time, your brick dropping exactly.

Yeah. Sure. Sh-dunk. Right, you've got a time, you're brick dropping exactly. Yeah. Shhh. Shhh. And before the squid inks, you know, like it's seizing inks or something like that. Yeah. And I guess you'd need some kind of underwater dog, a seal. Well, I was wondering about about about a baracuda. About about a baracuda.

Like a baracuda that they breed in the sort of near the brick works. Perfect. It's just a baracuda farm, but they train they, they, they, they, they try in them. They train them to acclimatize them to human hands, you know, to being used to being around humans. They think they're quite a vicious fish. And so you, you, you try in them and they, and they, they become very loving. They become very loving and they're very protective.

Yeah, very, very obedient of, of the hands that sort of are always near them. Like that, because if a hands come in and give them fish and different things like that. Yeah, very obedient of the hands that sort of are always near them. Like that because the forehand's coming in and giving them fish and different things like that. Yeah, yeah. And but they also teach them to... For a while they tear those hands off. Yeah, of course, every young barracuda claims at least a couple of fingers. Yeah, and a lot of the people on this island don't have any hands. But it's okay, they can still work at the brick factory.

Well, yeah, that's right. And they can also... Pushing things around. I guess that's at the brick factory. Well, yeah, that's right. And they can also... Pushing things around. Um, I guess... That's why this... At the brick factory, they also make these kind of, um... These false hands out of brick that you consider just... Screw on to your...

Stump? Wow. I'm sorry, is it? Just on this island, uh... That's not a word that we use. We just call it our extremity. Yeah, great. Our non-sharp extremetry.

Blunt, blunt. Blunt, blunt extremity. Is this good? I think breaking squid is something. I think you could take a hunting party out to see in your boat, and you're all dressed up like people who go fox hunting or whatever. You got your big red coats on, your little helmets. But maybe there's nobody driving the boat or rowing it.

There's just a man in the water who walks around and pulls the boat like that. So there's still a poor person who gets to think about it. Right, they get exploited in some way. Yeah. And because there's actually no, like the continental shelf is so far away and the water doesn't get deep for ages. So there actually is, it's about, it's sort of about nipple height, the water for about two, three miles. Right, so, and then you're, you're on the thing and you wait for a squid to swim under the boat, you drop a brick on it and then you're trained barracuda, uh, it fetches it.

Yeah, and then you feed it up, pilchered, pilchered, pilchered. Pilchered? Pilfered, pilchered. Yeah, you, you pilfered a pitch. Pilchered? Pilchered. Smelt, we ever had smells. How was it smelt?

Is that like a baby's salmon? It's like a small fish of some sort, I don't know. But I used to have it when I was a kid. My parents were deep-fried, I think. Do you remember it fondly? I remember it fondly, but I- They were delicious. Yeah.

Best thing you've ever eaten? I can't remember now. It must be a Canada thing, right? Either a Canada or Scotland thing. I don't know where my parents must be a Canada thing, right? Either a Canada or Scotland thing. I don't know where a parents picked it up. Smelt. Not a good name for a food.

Do you think it sounds Scottish? Or do you think it sounds Canadian? It sounds Scottish. Yeah. Smelt. Smelt. Deep fry some smelt. Well certainly the deep frying sound Scottish, doesn't it?

That's true. Should I start reading out the... Can you deep fry air? Have we tried this? We looked into this. Have you seen this? I mean, it's like deep fry, just a breath. A breath, maybe?

You have to batter it in some way. You have to make a batter bubble. Okay, can we make a kind of a better that you can, that has similar properties to to detergent allowing you to blow better bubbles. Yeah. And then deep fry them, right? You can blow anything you want into that better bubble. Yeah.

And the great thing is, what's inside the air? There's no fat in that. That's great, unless you want to breathe in is fat. Great. Yeah, because it could just be a cloud of fat. Fat cloud. Yeah. Which we've talked about, oh no, we've talked about air.

It caked in the air. Yeah. But this is different, this is fat. Fat in the air. Living off the fat of the air. Looking off the fat of the air. It could be like a fat plasma. Because that would be exciting when it- It's got to be possible, right?

Because we can get humidity, which is just water in the air. So you can get deep-fried humidity. Yeah, for sure. But then you've got to be able to get other stuff in the air. You've got to be able to evaporate. Of course. You get greasy stuff around when you're frying and there's that thing that's going to be fat in the air, you gotta be able to evaporate. Of course. You get greasy stuff around when you're frying and there's that thing that's gonna be fat in the air.

Yeah, I reckon I've breathed in some fat in my time. It's then over a deep fryer, well all summer, you know, making food for the people visiting the beach or whatever. You're breathing in some fat, you got some fat in your lungs. I'll start, sound like you were talking from some real lived experience. I've lived in it. You made food for people coming to the beach or whatever? Oh yeah, I ran a whole kiosk all summer.

You ran a whole kiosk? Oh yeah, they just let this, whatever, like 14-year-old run a kiosk and run in the fryer or run in the ice cream. You serious? Oh yeah. That seems like the sort of thing that, like, if I'd been had a job like that at a young age,

I would have gone on to be much more successful than you are right now. Well, it turns out, Andy, this is the limit of how successful somebody who did that can be. But it's also, it's great to debunk that myth that like kids who have jobs early on and give in responsibility and work hard and that sort of thing go on to make something of themselves. Yeah, it's a real, it's a real dis, dispelling of that myth that they just wind up with a guy with a podcast with some other loser. Well, I didn't do that, and I'm exactly

at the same place as you are now. I never really worked very hard. I would actually like three times of more kids as I have. Exactly. So many ways you've got a huge burden. Luckily, I've just used my way. Oh, you think that that was, it was the job at the Kiosk that helped you avoid having two extra kids? Absolutely. It was the responsibility I learned over that summer. Yeah. And also the, you know, probably the damage to your sperm or something. Absolutely.

I definitely, my ball bag landed in that hot fire a few times. Anyway, deep fried batter bubble. Could be something in that. Yeah, I don't know if it's a sketch, but you need to... I mean, I think a few of these are business ideas, anyway, it doesn't matter. A lot of them are business ideas. This is a business ideas podcast now. I know, but you could do it. We had a consultant who taught us through how we could sort of streamline things and monetize things and turn this, what is it essentially, a dead weight podcast, a non-performing sector

of the two-in-the-think tank industry, one of our divisions that really hasn't been paying off in the same way as a lot of the other two-in-the-think tank stuff that we do. Two-in-the-think tank pettings are in the two-in-the-think tank. Plottings. Plotting zone, the two in the think tank. Plotting zoo. Plotting zoo. Yeah, but, you know, and he said, turn into a business ideas podcast

and that's what we're in the process of doing anyway. How do you come along with this? Yeah, but absolutely, but also, you know, there's the sketch in the character study of the guy who invents the deep fried batter bubble. The deep fried air is what he calls it. Yeah. Do you think he's, and he's, he resents that people say that deep-fried things are associated

with Scotland because he's from Australia. Not Australia, he's from South Scotland. That's very close to the border. Yeah. Right? And like to assume it's still insulting. I am from Scotland, but I don't speak with a Scottish accent. Yeah.

And I'm from actually from South Scotland, and it's less so. Less so Scottish. It's less Scottish. We should probably stop, stop, stop. We should probably stippa, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip,

dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip Yeah, that was still eating a length of food by a by the link. But then you had to have to blend it all up and turn it into a uniform sort of single colored. Brace this one's just lined up. This is lined up and you just eat it off the table like a whole. And the color of the session speed is picked to the right at

which you're eating. Yeah. And then we got cave of bears, which is sort of based off of a show where you go and tell people business ideas. Oh, wow. This one you come in and you, all the business people are laying on the floor sleeping in the cave. Dressed as bears, I assume. And you have to go and feel the beehive without them waking up. And then we have...

I feel that straight after that they've filmed like Shark Tank or whatever. So there's it. Alright, that's a wrap. Everyone at the NB are costus. Get them. They're all these billionaires pull it on their back. And then get the other business people in to pitch ideas. And then we got fine bricky glue and that's the mayor who built a big, glassy glue around

this place. It's just daughtering on me. This could be one of them's cheapest episodes we've ever done. All right. And then so the people can only eat violence. It's compulsory to eat violence so that- It's an eating wood. Well, it's not eating wood, Andy.

This is progress towards eating wood. Is that why we're doing it? Yeah, I know, but it's a little bit more reasonable than eating wood. Sorry, yeah. We did get something. This is the feedback that the eating wood thing was a bit unrealistic.

Yeah. The only thing about violence is they're already floppy. They're already floppy and they're so much closer to food, which is very rarely you just get foods straight off of wood. Exactly. Except for maybe apples and- Exactly. Is that a little bit at the end of an apple,

that little stem, is that wood? I think that could be wood. Really? Have you eaten those? Ah, I don't think I've ever tried. Yeah, well let's get onto that. Well, let's get on to that. Yeah, that's a good stepping. I think it's time we start practicing what we preach.

People are probably sick of us. We're a bit like those chapp-o-trap house guys who just sort of talk a lot about politics and criticise people in politics. You know, they've been criticised themselves for not really getting involved in that sort of thing. And we're in a very similar situation. We make a similar amount of money on Patreon a month. We have a similar kind of influence within the, you know, the world politics and that sort of thing. And, yeah, in a similar way, we're going to start eating wood on this podcast.

We're going to have to, yeah. Yeah. And hopefully we can start selling wood. Yep. Well, I mean, if that became a thing, that's a thing that, that's a thing that low apple growers and stuff like that probably just try and throw away. Those wood little stems. You could probably go to supermarket

and just steal all the stems. They look like, get you on that, but it's not shoplifting. That's a technicality. Yeah. Nobody wants that. You actually not stealing an apple, you're actually stealing part of the tree and up along to the farm.

You can go into the supermarket. And he's not here. You can not stealing an apple. You're actually stealing part of the tree and up along to the farm. He's going to the supermarket. And he's not here. You can eat as many stems as you want and they can't touch you. They actually can't. What? What? What? It's not I'm not eating an apple. I'm eating a stem that's actually going up on stems. Show me on your registers where it says you sell stems.

Ha! You don't. That's not the same kind of stem. That's as if they had found stems on the registers. So, No, I see, I see here we sell stems actually, sir. Oh yeah, it's not Apple stems, it doesn't make, it's not specific enough. Legally, it's gotta be more specific.

You can't touch me. You can't touch me. You can't touch me. Alright, then we got competitive sleeping. Why do you if you could eat the... Go into the same mug and pull all the grapes off of that. And just eat that. The vine, that's wood. Yeah, and then that's just a bag of loose grapes,

which people would love. People would love that. But they do always seem firmer when they're on the thing. Definitely, definitely. The ones that are loose in the thing, you're like, oh, yeah. Occasionally you get some great ones. But also you end up eating all of those at the end anyway.

See, that's the tragedy of life. You eat all the good grapes first, and then you just got those ones that are loose in the bag at the end. It is like life where, you know, at the end of your life, it's a less quality. It's the same with grapes. Yeah, but that's only, that's only if you don't eat stems. Right?

Yeah, it's in the end of the vine. You see, because then you'll finish eating all the grapes and the ones at the bottom and then you'll have the best bit left, the stem. I don't only want us to start eating stems and vines and wood. I see someone that just has other visions. I want it to be the best thing that we eat. Yeah.

Great. There's a too much to ask that people enjoy it. Thrive. And at some point people will be like, can you believe that back in 2016 or whatever year it is? 18. back in 2016, whatever year it is. 18. People are like, that stems only made up, they only made up sort of, you know, 1.5% of an apple,

but farmers with using selective breeding managed to make an apple. That was 75% stem. And it's the best part Stan, anyone more steps more step by They'll say I'm better sleeping like who can sleep the longest. I don't know. I feel like something Crystal the other great thing is that everything's got a stem. You know, even fruit that is an edible still has a stem. So if you can eat stems, you can eat anything.

You'll never go somewhere your day in your life. Yep, candelope, they got that vine stem. I presume. I assume. Oh, pumpkin stem. Imagine getting in the hook and into that big old thing. That's a real mouthful. Beaked pumpkin stem.

Biced pumpkin stem latte. Oh yes. Finally get away from that damn pumpkin. Crystal's business, that's our business where we sell crystals that make you more skeptical. More skeptical and more logical and less. And a pair of pretty good thought. Yeah, and less likely to get ripped off.

And then we've got a breaking squid. And that can either be. That's a good thing. That's either the British tradition. And that's the thing is that this is what this sketch is about. So it's about these people who are on this island who, instead of fes and hunting, they break squid. But they've recently come up against, in a court case,

because breaking squid is now something that the kids are doing, where they eat food in a certain way, so that when they poop, it comes out shaped like a perfectly beautiful squid, like that. And that's also called breaking squid. And they get in trouble. Well, because then the trademark,

there's a trademark battle. Right, the kids eating food in a certain way and shitting it out, they've tried mocked it. It's a thing that kids do so that they can, it's like poop art, but it doesn't come out looking like poop. It comes out looking like a beautiful squid, one of the most freaking squid. Breaking squid. Whereas on this island it's been a way of life for a really long time.

For a long time, they've been breaking squid and they're kind of, they're a higher class people than these art already taste. I don't know whose side I'm on anymore. Yeah, and so they, their reputations are everything and they don't want to be to them. Associated with sort of this poo part movement. And it is a movement. Well, it's a... And then we have the deep fried batter bubble,

the person who's the guy who tried the batter air. You know, we all have dreams. You know, just a, I love breathing. Right? I love air. It's great. But everything's better with a bit of batter on it. Yeah.

Everything's better with a bit of batter on it. Everything's better with a bit of batter on it. Everything's better with a bit of batter on it. With a bit of batter, with a bit of better on it. Everything's better with a bit of better on it. With a bit of better with a bit of better on it. With a bit of better everything. With a bit of better on it. With a bit of better on it. Get a better on it. With a better on the better on the bit of it. Everything is better with a bit of better on it. Everything is better with a bit of better on it. Oh yeah. Everything is better. With a bit of a better on it, you're listening to the thing, Hank. Yes, thanks so much everybody. We really do appreciate it.

Really appreciate it. So I'm Alistair George Williams, I'm John Lerber, virtual and you can find me at Alistair TV on Twitter. I'm at Steepard Old Andy. And we're at Two in Tank and you can donate to us on Patreon if you're still listening. Because at last time we took money out of the Patreon, just a few months ago, Andy used it to pay for his mortgage because he didn't have enough money to pay for his mortgage. This is really, I don't know if there was, that's putting a lot of pressure on the listeners.

It's not putting pressure. I think it'll help the ones who are already donating, realize what a difference they're making. Right. And it'll help the ones who are donating, but who would prefer I was homeless. Well, yeah, to give them a path to achieving that. Yes.

And then the other people who are like, oh, I didn't realize how much these people needed this That also helps that see this is the thing though. We can't need it that much because we're wasting everybody's lives I know but this stupid podcast. I know but once I mean this is we're just we just need this one so while we're waiting for our crystals business To kick off red bubble come on Red bubble, you gotta start making crystals. So thank you very much. Please review us on iTunes. Yeah.

Any people who donate eight dollars on Patreon, please send us more episodes for the extra, more suggestions for the extra episodes because we're running low on those. Anybody, you know, keep sending in your three ideas if you're a three dollar thing. And review us on those. Anybody, you know, keeps sending in your three ideas if you're a three dollar thing and reveals some iTunes and also we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites.

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