Two In The Think Tank - 163 - "RAT WALL"

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

Bong Arm Of the Law, Narcsanon, Narc Barks, Rat Ring, Rat Wall, Frondzone, Real Trial, Truman DetectiveDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag.EMAIL YOUR BAND NAMES FOR GEORGE'S BAND to [e-mail] you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereWhimpering apologies to George Matthews for my sloppy production on this ep Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Rockin' muckin' muckin' a buck. Rockin' muckin' muckin' a buck. Rockin' muckin' muckin' a buck. Rockin' muckin' muckin' muckin' a buck. Rockin' muckin' muckin' a buck. Rockin' muckin' muckin' a buck. Yeah. Ow, that should be the new national anthem. Rockin' muckin' muckin' muckin' a buck. It sounds like Australia. It is, it is Australia.

It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is Australia. It is it is a sound of Australia hello and welcome to tune the thing tank the show where we Rock and Mark and make a buck and I'm out of the George William Trumbulli virtual And this is Andy I'm Andy James Tholomew Matthew stop trying to make it seem like there's some kind of nominal equality on this show. All right, it's not James Tholum, you, it's a single syllable, just run on the mill,

three barrel name. And the name could be more regal. It could be more majestic. Yeah, like it could soar like an eagle. It could soar like an eagle or drag you down like a trailer. Yes, attached to a swimmer. One way straight. I drove. You know how I'm bringing a trailer full of sand to your house today. How is that? This is what we do when we're not making the podcast. We drive sand around. We drive sand. We drive to each other's house. Okay. Really it's

a metaphor for the podcast. Which is if we drive sand around and I drive it down a one way street and then I just, I'm going to have to turn it around or something somehow. And I just parked it on the side of the road. I'm going to drive to your house later on, but I've got the freaking car. And evidence that you've been driving in the wrong way by parking on the wrong side of the road? I'm not a one-way street, a no-through road. That's the problem.

Oh. Yeah. It's like the trailer down the no, driving a trailer down a no-through road. Yeah. I feel like I feel like that's a comedy career in all life. It's like trying to push something soft, like trying to push like a... Yes, I'll ask to.

Like trying to push like a... Something soft, do you say? Yeah, like a bouquet of flowers through a toilet roll. Yeah, but flower in first, is it all? Yeah, flower end first. Yeah, not stem end. No, not stem end. That seems like it'd be very easy.

Yeah. But you'd lose a lot of the leaves along the way. You would lose a lot of the leaves and probably a lot of the flowers as well. But stems are going to make it through. Those stems. Well, that's what you're in the business for. Oh, stem. It'd be nice if like when you gave people flowers,

there's something else you could do with the flower. You know, smoke it or something like that. Like, absolutely. You know, because at the moment, it really is a gesture. And like, it's like, we said it's the thought that counts. And then we were like, all right, well, then what's something that is no more value than the thought.

And how about this? This will be beautiful. It's a flower that you smoke that makes you more law abiding. So it's like the opposite of a drug. Yes. So it's a legal flower. Oh, it's highly legal. I mean, it could.

It might even be compulsory. But the thing is, what if it's a legal? Yeah, okay. It's a legal, but it makes you more law-abiding. It's a bloody bouquet of paradoxes, what it is. Absolutely, but it's also highly addictive. Yeah, but as soon as you stop smoking it, as soon as you stop smoking it, you are already committing less crimes than when you were smoking it.

Sure, but as soon as you stop smoking it, wouldn't you also probably commit a pull a citizen's arrest on yourself and turn yourself into the nearest police station? So to throw yourself over the nearest car hood? Put your arms behind your back and handcuff yourself? Maybe yourself, you're right to remain silent. You might throw yourself into the latest, into the nearest sort of cop shop. You know, like, and this is, I don't mean a police station. No, no, I'm talking about a place where they sell cop gear.

Yeah. Like handcuffs, because with the amount of law abiding, you were up until that moment, you probably wouldn't be carrying handcuffs on you. No, because that's illegal for a civilian to have, I presume. Really? Why isn't that why you said that? No, I just thought you wouldn't, you know, like somebody who's really law-abiding might have handcuffs on them in case they commit a crime. Yeah, right. That's interesting. Unless it's illegal to carry around handcuffs. But you see, that's just one of the, that's the trouble with not teaching, like, you know,

with primary school not being a thing where you teach kids the law from start to finish. That's what it should be. That way, at least you've had exposure to the laws once, to all the laws. I think a, I think this is absolutely a sketch. It's a drug that makes you lower abiding, but that is also illegal. I think it's great. You know, it may or may not be highly addictive.

It might be interesting to even make it as like a superhero type show, which somebody smokes this drug, this flower. Right, it makes them super loribiting, so they're really super motivated to, you know, perform citizens or rests and that sort of thing. But they don't necessarily have any additional powers or anything like that.

There's also, there could be a sort of a plant in the same family that makes you a narque. You know, that makes you a real narque and means that you're going to go after people who are doing drugs maybe. And so, you know, let's say you're at a music festival and you smell marijuana. And you're like, oh, it's marijuana around. And then you smoke this flower. You smoke a narkey. They smoke a Narkey Narkey a Volvania or something like that whatever they Volvania Volvania

The Latin name it's not actually related to the vulva. Oh, okay. Yeah, although it looks like a vulva But it's not related it's not related but not connected, other than through some very early single-cell organism or something like that. And then you counter-smoke it. So you're counter-smelling up the crowd as a warning to all the weed smokers. And they're like, there's some gnarks around. Yeah, great. And that way, both groups feel uncomfortable.

Do you think that criminals could, or drug dealers, or just drug users could train gnarx sniffing dogs? Yeah, that's a good idea. Like as in they smell that plant, or they're looking like they can actually, like do gnarx have their own smell? Yeah, I think there'd be a certain scent to people who are about to turn others over to the police. A certain scent that they admit. Could be. I mean, I imagine that there would be, if you were in a highly stressful environment,

like if you were undercover or something, you might sweat, the quality of your sweat might change. Yeah. You know, allowing. Where could they train dogs like this? Maybe like, sort of, like maybe like, maybe car clubs, I reckon a lot of those guys would be a bit narky. You know, like guys who care about old cars

being in good condition and they would give a shit about road rules. Right, so where could they train them in terms of like where do you expose a dog to the scent? This is the typical scent of a narc. Yeah, look at, you know, old, these car, this car group, that's just, that's my first pitch. I don't, I'm not suggesting that's the only place

where you'll find NARCs. Not even sure if there'll be a higher abundance of NARCs there than anywhere else. There could be NARCs anonymous, that could be a good place. Narks anonymous. I'm just going to write down narks anonymous. Yeah, yeah. Sure.

A head of narks nipping dog. No, that's part of this kind of drug that makes you law abiding. Okay. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure.

And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure.

And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. And then, sure. got the drug sniffing dogs, but maybe just inside the gates, you've got the narc sniffing dogs. We can have a full anti-narc sketch show. Yeah, I mean, not necessarily something I feel passionate about. No, that's the thing, but I think that's why we're coming to it with fresh eyes.

We're not as, we don't have as much anger towards the narc. This is what we really want, is we want people making a show about criminals and law enforcement who don't really feel strongly about either side. Exactly, I don't know. I think law enforcement has its own problems. I think the ideas of justice that were invented sort of in the ancient Greek time,

I think that's also flawed. It's, I think a lot of punishment is really more about making you feel better than really about getting outcomes for society. Just as being seen to be down, even though it may, you know, in the long term, achieve very little. Like when I try and clean the kitchen. Exactly. I move things around, you know. Sure it might attract rodents, but are rodents really that dirty? Sure, I might be washing dishes, but aren't those dishes just going to get dirty again? Sure, as soon as I release them back into the habit.

There's germs in the air. That's what they don't tell you. And no one ever scrubs the air. There's no antibacterial air. There no one ever scrubs the air. No. There's no air bacterial air. And they probably are actually anti-sectorial. But there's no scourer for the air. There's no sponge for the air. There's no detergent for the air.

There's no sink. Unless that's what kind of what children's bubbles are. I mean, there's detergent in there. I have been doing bubbles with my boys the last two days. And... Bubbles with the boys. Bubbles with the boys, and they... I've not seen them love anything as much as they love bubbles.

It's a real opportunity for the youth to cut sick. Truly cut sick and a lot of a great opportunity as well for some non-life threatening screaming because they, like you do bubbles and they are just screaming the entire time screaming and jumping around. It's like a, it's like a rave. Bubbles are like music for the eyes. Oh, absolutely because they've got that beautiful... Mmm, that beautiful beauty too.

That will not just their perfect shape, which is also sometimes imperfect, which is an added beauty quality to perfection. Yes, yes. But then there's also, it's that... Imagine adding something to perfection. Oh, that's what you do when you make a... You make something imperfect. Yeah, yeah. You take something away, you're adding something in.

Because it's like looking at a planet, right? Mm-hmm. And they got that multi-color shine like you would have, say, on oil or something like an oil slick. Like you would have on a beautiful planet. Yeah, on a beautiful planet. Well, it doesn't look that dissimilar from what Jupiter looks like from afar. It's just not as sheeny.

It's kind of more settled and matte. You know that, we think our planet looks beautiful from space. It seems a little vain, right? I mean, obviously you always love your own planet or whatever. But like, you'd hope, right? In an ideal world, you go up there in the space

and you look down there saying, oh, it's so beautiful. But that's just our human earthbound perspective. And maybe the reason aliens haven't visited us is because our planet's actually not that attractive. Or like, not that attractive to aliens. Like, maybe it needs some sort of gold leaf. Like maybe aliens have got real bad taste. Gold leaf and sort of shiny oil slicks on the oceans

and that sort of thing. And they'll look at it and it'll sort of gleam. You know, maybe they have Trump's taste. Yeah, no, that, I mean, or like a lot of, sort of like Thailand and India and things like that. They have that similar taste as well, that gold leaf and things like that. So yeah, it would be awful. You're looking to be sort of all organic and green and blues and...

Well, that's what it is right now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we can... Okay, so that's... It's awful from the perspective of the aliens, currently. Yeah, they go, oh, it's so untamed. It would be like you and me looking at the Amazon and then, you know, having our natural reaction, which is vomiting.

Yes. Yeah. So I think maybe we should consider changing the look of the planet. Could we make it? We want to attract visitors. Yeah. I definitely agree. Do you think some jewelry or like a necklace or something

like that? Wouldn't that like, couldn't we at least, when we're launching satellites, make them move around the earth and he kind of pattern that makes them look like they're a necklace? Well, we've got that, you know, we've got all the geostationary satellites around the equator, right, above the equator. I think maybe even all that are very similar height above the equator, presumably, so they can all but, but yeah, if they just looked, you know, bit of pearl, mother of pearl or something like, sharks tooth maybe.

Where would you put the mother of pearl? Like what would you cover the oceans with mother of pearl? Uh, yeah, I would cover the oceans for the bit of a mother of pearl, yeah. Oh, and then we reflect some of the sunlight, which would help them slow down some of the glow. And, you know, a lot of the countries that are being negatively affected by

by global warming, you're sort of a lot of your Pacific nations, you know, you're uh Kira botties You know maybe maybe your tongue is Kira boss. Is it yeah, I'm like Kira boss, great Um, you're your tongue is your Maldives. How about my I'll just I'll just finish this sentence a lot of these countries Some of the best places to buy some mother of pearl. So they could be the biggest beneficiaries. Obviously, they'll probably have to destroy the environment trying to find mother of pearl, but...

Hey, when has that ever heard anybody? What's, that's just a small part of the day. When has that ever gone badly for a Pacific island? For saving your island. Yes, and the world. Mm, in the world. I don't know in what way we're actually saving the world I mean we're attracting aliens not not exactly necessarily a one-to-one relationship

Well, the the covering the ocean with mother of pearl to stop the healing you know and but what we've definitely set up here is Pacific islands are very much a a David in this scenario and the rest of the world Elias and and you know the people of the world are those big nations and the world itself are Goliath so we're really setting setting them up for a big win. I mean they might they might not go for it But I'm saying what what what is there is the opportunity for the greatest story ever told. I couldn't agree more. I think that maybe it's also a case though for the earth when we bring ourselves out in whatever way,

that you do sort of you dress for the aliens you want. Okay. So maybe we could do certain things to, with dressing the earth in different ways to attract different types of aliens. Like I mentioned the sharks tooth. Like if we had one of the satellites that was like a big sharks tooth going around the planet,

it would look like we were wearing one of those sharks tooth necklaces. We could get some pretty cool kind of surf or a type or cap wearer or alias. Or cap wearer alias. That could be really nice. Yeah. Or we could sort of give it a more like stainless steel look which I think would get more of a refined kind of domestic. A domestic alien like An alien that's interesting things that white clean very easily. Yeah, but still, you know, fingerprint pretty easily as well.

Yeah, I'm not sure if we want aliens, want to attract aliens who are interested in wiping things to clean, I think, like in a stereotypical sense that's not gone well for humanity. So then should we, should it be showcasing our filth? I mean maybe. Like you know, are we doing the right thing if we have a sort of, if we create like a Saturn ring of rats? Yeah. And then at least when they get here, they get down to the surface and they see what we've

done with the place. They can't be surprised. They can't be disappointed. They'll be like, oh yeah, you've ruined this place, but then you do have a saddered ring of rats. Yeah, and the rat ring. There's actually not quite as many rats on earth as you would think considering how many rats there are around earth.

I think just in general, a rat ring. It's a great thing. Yeah great. We put all our rats in space. All right, put them all up there. They're all orbiting. Imagine being an alien, detecting this planet across the across the light years. You use your most advanced technology to try and work out what's going on. And you discover it's got a ring of rats around it. Yeah. Around it. Tell me you wouldn't go there.

Tell me you wouldn't be intrigued. I definitely think you would be like, well, there's something about these people. I don't know what it is. Yes. I mean, I guess your first assumption wouldn't be that they sort of catapulted rats to sort of to go on a ring around Earth. But then what would you, what conclusion would you form that rats are somehow sort of created naturally by the condensation of methane or something like that?

Or that there are creatures that can live. Because I think what would confuse you is that where you- Ratalites. Ratalites, you know, absolutely. But there's a chance you might consider them a space dwelling creature, because as you catapult endless and endless rats up into space, some of them are going to be pregnant on the verge of giving birth so that as they go up into the ring, right, they're gonna be given birth then. I think also the stress of being shot up into space is probably gonna push some out. Quite interesting to find out what sort of effect that has on pregnant rat.

Yeah, absolutely. And so these aliens who come and examine our rat ring, right, they're gonna see newborns there. So they're gonna be like they're breeding they were breed they're breeding up here Where they have been hmm somehow something's happened recently maybe some kind of poisonous gas has come by and killed them But somehow these rats were sustaining themselves enough to breed and give birth And you know once they've checked out the, maybe they'll pop down to earth and give us some free technology. Well, that's as long as they're known. You know, we're the men with the breeding space rats. Yeah.

And then when they, you, that you've got them that close, you hook them somehow. And you, how do I get there? More efficient. I think it's definitely, it's, it's a, it's a red herring. I mean, we could also shoot red herrings or ring a herring, but it's definitely, I think you're right that it is a hook. And the only fear that I have is if the aliens

who come are themselves a kind of rat-like species. Once I find out what's really made happen. What's really been happening with these rats? Yeah. Because they might be really excited to meet more rats. And then they realized they were actually we've just been severely mistreating rats. Even though I think the last moments of a rat's experience

would actually be pretty wondrous. Oh, see the earth from above? See the earth from above, flying into orbit. Like, how fast you would have to move for that even to be possible. Because it's just a catapult, right? And it's a loose rat. Like it's not in any kind of...

It could be a bunch of loose rats. So you're doing it at least with friends or at least people who are near you. That's going to be much more efficient use of our catapult. Yeah. Energy. Yeah. Energy. Yeah, absolutely.

I had something hang on. Rats, what if, I mean, and it would be good if this could as well somehow go back to our global warming and help us with our global warming because there's the plan at the moment, one of the things that we can do in terms of geoengineering is put the sulfur dioxide into the atmosphere to try and reflect some more sunlight and cool the earth, which by the way, I'm totally coming around to. I'm like, we are not gonna make this carbon neutral thing happen.

No. No one is interested in doing, like, governments are barely interested and When someone does try something it's it we've just seen like in France It's very hard to sell that if people are gonna have to pay more money for stuff Like it's I think it would be it would be less difficult if there weren't some people who were making a lot of money all the time Absolutely sure sure sure, but also it's like we're not gonna It would be less difficult if there weren't some people who were making a lot of money all the time. Absolutely. Sure, sure.

But also, we're not going to... Then we'd have to get people on board with totally restructuring society, I think, and I think that's going to be hard, because then the people who are making all this a lot of money all the time seem to have a lot of money to defend their money with. So I think it's going to be real hard. But if we could get some more time by putting soft dioxide into the atmosphere, I'm starting to think. Is it the sulfur do reflecting or is it something with a coefficient of heat transfer that's much lower has like a negative one? I think oh, I could be wrong. I don't know. I thought

it was to do with reflecting in the upper atmosphere. You have like just a thin layer of it. You're right. Reflecting some light. Don't care, great. Yeah, but I thought it was kind of... No, you could very well be right. No, but yeah, I mean, there's a chance that it's multifaceted. There's a chance that I'm also incompletely incorrect, but I thought it was like the opposite of what carbon dioxide is. Yeah, right. It has the opposite effect makes the air less heat conductive. Either way, the important thing, I mean, the other thing is that you could actually, oh yeah, that maybe, maybe another way to do it would be a whole lot of rats in the upper atmosphere. I'm not sure, like, you know, what the negative consequences to be would be to putting a whole lot of rats in the

upper atmosphere. It feels good. Yeah, exactly. And whether or not it would be just putting a whole lot of rats in the upper atmosphere. It feels good, I know. Yeah, exactly. And whether or not it would be just like less fun living on Earth knowing that the upper atmosphere was full of rats, the ratosphere. The ratosphere. The outer ratosphere. The outer ratosphere. And maybe that's the thing that, you know, the Fermi Paradox, the thing that stops civilizations from leaving their own planet, because they get quite icky eventually about launching

set, launching set were going up in rockets when they know they're going to have to go through the dense layer of rats that have launched into the rat's sphere. The rat cloud. No, rat clutter. The rat clutter. Yeah, there's definitely severe rat clutter. The rat clutter. Yeah there's definitely severe rat clutter. I mean there's a chance though we could also be painting the rat silver if we wanted them to be more reflective. And they'll look more space age as well. It'll be easy in a cell and we'll feel better about it. I think looking up

at a sort of a vaguely brown sky because of all the rats. I'm not sure I'm trying to bet a sort of a glinting silver sky. You can tell your kids that they're, you know, the spirits of their ancestors or something as opposed to just being, oh, the spirits of dead rats. By the way, as long as you don't have to tell kids that we launched a bunch of rats up there. Well, I mean, I think that'll be one of the great joys

of actually living in this society. It will be knowing that we've done something great. Even though if it's not good, it's great. It's great. Yeah. I bet there are lots of things that fall into that category. Absolutely. I can't think of any right now, but I bet there are.

Titanic? Not good. But great. But great. But great. You go back through the records and it's like oh wow it turns out that none of the ship elders are there anyone who the market is or anything No, I never said it was gonna be good. I We didn't promise it was gonna be good. Yeah, we said it was gonna be great. We didn't say where there was positive or negative great

good. We said it was going to be great. We didn't say whether it was positive or negative great. And now people look back on the Titanic. I say, wow, that was great. Say what you like about the Titanic. It was great. It was great. Sorry, if I'm not being clear say what you like about the tonic it was really good Everything to do with it was excellent everything to do with the Titanic worked out perfectly Say what you like about it. Nothing went wrong. What game are we playing? It's just, I think I was just... At first it was just the double meaning of grey. Yeah, I know.

And then eventually... It was a pretty weak double meaning. It was weak because I realized I had introduced it like that. But I know that this is not important, but maybe it's a good idea if we kill the rats in a humane way first before we catapult them. I mean, if we could. Is there a way to gas them with a really nice smelling gas? Softly dioxide. Oh, so they're filled with sulfur. I mean if we could is there a way to gas them with a really nice smelling gas off a dioxide oh

So they're filled with sulfur and when they're up there they I'm really nice smelling gas. Well, just something that's pleasant for them It could be rotten meat if that's the what they like the smell of Probably shit. I probably love that human shit human shit shit I probably love that human shit human shit No, this is this is indefensible. This is rapidly becoming indefensible. I want to go back to the idea Payton silver and catapult them into the outer I think I think it's it's it's awful, but it's funny to imagine that this is like we've let global warming get so bad that we're at the point where this is the only remaining option.

A sky full of rats. Well because what we're also removing is all that carbon dioxide that they breathe out. Yeah. You see? Be great if we could blame this on the rats. is all that carbon dioxide that they breathe out. Yeah. You see? We could write if we could blame this on the rats. No, but like if we take like, we don't like, they're definitely in the cities

not adding much to the ecosystem. They're just kind of an ecosystem of their own. They're feeding off the bottom part of our. So we don't need them. We're not going to be like, oh no, but if you remove the rats, then what are the pigeons going to eat? But there is, there might be a point of like,

if you remove the rats, well then they probably are eating a lot of stuff that we throw out, like vegetable scraps or whatever, which then might go into landfill and create methane. Maybe our solution is more rats, not less. But could we, I mean, instead of burying things in ground, then could we just bury them in rats? Just a teaming-seathing pile of rats, a pit. We essentially build a huge wall around a piece of land, and then we just fill it with rats, and then we

just put garbage in there. Great. I think this is really good. This is great for a Dwayne the rock Johnson style movie where now something is threatening the rat wall Right, and there's a crack developing or like some evil developers are trying to just attack it somehow Yeah, rat wall and Some wait some developers are attacking the rat wall what just like we just those even with just a pickaxes and ribbon cutting scissors I'm trying to be a Mercedes into the right wall. And the rock is like, oh, red wall! That's holding it all the rats! It tips over the Mercedes. He's punching the developers.

Okay, have you seen the movie, or are you aware of the movie G.O. Storm? I know of it. Because G.O. Storm really is one of those ones that's like almost purely hypothetical because it takes place in a world where we've built a satellite network around the earth to control the weather, right, as part of our, something about natural disasters, etc. And I think that building a rat wall is a very similar kind of a, you know, a big pitful of rats. It's a very similar kind of thing where it's not really a problem that's the earth is facing right now, but it's one that you could imagine them facing in the future.

And then imagine if there was a problem with that, and that went wrong. Exactly. And I think we could fill it with, I remember once in science, in science class in Canada, I had a science teacher tell us about these super rats, these rats that they'd found in the... Which they'd absolutely develop in that environment. You know, these are rats that have evolved in sewers to not be killed by standard chemicals and things like that. And they talked about pouring bleach into their mouth and things like that and that they were like

This doesn't sound like science We got these rats we put bleach into their mouth like my They were fine We tried all sorts of stuff we poured all sorts of stuff in their mouths They're like super rats. Yeah, and so then he was talking about these suit these super rats That's fine. Don't worry about the risk of super rats. They're super rats. They're fun. They love it They could eat anything they could eat a hockey puck This is the last class. I mean, I don't think he was talking about science. He was talking about

Just some super rat story that he could eat a hockey puck. I then made that up just then But that sounds like it you know, it's so dense You know, it feels like something that nothing should be able to eat, right? Lot shouldn't even be able to escape from a hockey puck. You're right. Absolutely. And And so that's the rats that they decided to start because then if they can eat any garbage Yeah, then that's what you want. You just want all your garbage and your plastics being turned into rad excrement Mmm, and then and then we got all the rad excrement we want. And that's tax-free.

Tax-free rad excrement. That feels like it's the closest thing to fuel that garbage will ever be. Like, if you saw a doc from what's the McCall in there, that movie. Back to the future. Back to the future. Back to the future. I mean, it seems silly that he put a banana peel into the car or whatever, right? But if you had put pallets of rad excrement,

there's an element in which that's believable. An excrement already kind of comes out in a sort of like fuel tablet kind of. A pellet type of... Yeah, kind of look. That probably burns real good. You could believe that. So Rat War the movie. Rat wave, I mean, because the threat is that we, you know, if the wall breaks, there'll be a tidal wave of rats. Yeah. Right. And I'll just flow across North America. And

you can be a scientist talking about how they'd already put horrible rats in there, rats that shouldn't, but then they have been breeding and competing with each other for the last 75 years. Yeah. A lot of time for evolution to come. No, I think absolutely, I think they're finding now that evolution can occur, especially with species like rats which have a really short and reproductive cycle, you can get evolution of a really pretty short timeline.

Listen to a podcast about it, I can't remember any of the details. Especially from, you're not asking a rat to develop wings, although one could. Yes. In this rat, well, that would be the other danger, is if he stops the developers, and then they just develop wings anyway. The rats were the real developers, developing wings in there. But they fly over the top of the rat wall, and then he's got to get a rat roof. That's right.

Oh no. That's going to take us a couple of years to plan and execute. So, so yeah, they've been competing with each other and becoming really, really super rats. And then he's like, this is what will happen. They will eat all of nature. They will then come and they'll eat our buildings that we live in and they'll eat you while you sleep rats could you sleeping by the way? Who's who's who's who's like seeing on the news the rat walls come down?

Are they like well? I'm good. I ate a clock time for restful rest Get a rat now. I think yeah, I think the idea I Um, get a rat nap. I think, yeah, I think the idea, I mean, but that really is like rats could definitely eat us while we sleep, right? Oh, for sure. For sure. By the way, if anyone is going to sleep in that scenario, it's me.

I absolutely, I would be having that rat nap because I can sleep anywhere at any time. And I can't do an all-nighter. You know, at uni, I would always leave things for the last minute and then be like, I'll just do an all-nighter and then I'd get to like 11 o'clock and be like, I'm too tired. I'm going to sleep. I'll do it in the morning.

I'll get up early and then I wouldn't do that either and I would miss handing in an assignment and I'd fail three subjects. But, the only way, okay, what we're gonna say, because I know the only way that you could really sleep soundly, is you would have to dangle yourself from a tree like your lunch when you're trying to keep it away from bears.

You know? Oh, sleep so sound, like a little blood rushing to your head like that. No, you're not upside down. Oh, okay. You could have like a hammock that's, but that's as long as the rats don't come and eat the tree or the rope.

Yeah, or climb down the rope and eat you I don't think rats are like bears. No, but can they climb down rope? rats. Yeah Yeah, yeah Fuck rats can climb down rope. Have you not seen any movie with rats leaving a sinking ship? What do they do? They go down the rope. They go down the rope. Into the water. Into the water. They try to get into the dock. They go into the dock or something. I don't know why the ship is sinking if it's in dock. Maybe there

was an issue with the the build. The rats probably. Why are they leaving? Why they live very suspicious. They knew. They knew something. Yeah. Rat wall. Rat wall. I mean, that's a god damn action film. And if we could pump out a few action films a year, just scripts like that, we don't even have to get a maid. I think deep down that would give us the purest happiness that we would could ever experience. Fuck it right a movie that's as good as Die Hard with Evengeance.

Mm-hmm. Oh, right. Love so happy. I'm not. That movie, by the way, which shouldn't work. Here's a fact about Die Hard with the Vengeance. It probably knows. The script was originally written for a different movie of standalone film.

It's going to be called Simon Says. And then the people who made lethal weapon bought it and wrote it as a lethal weapon movie. Wow. And then the people who do diehard bought it off them and rewrote it as a lethal weapon movie. Wow. And then the people who do diehard bought it off them and rewoted as a diehard movie. But before they were gonna make the ex-lethal weapon ex-simons says movie as a diehard movie, they were gonna make a different movie

where it was on a boat at sea. And then they sold that script, and that script became speed two. Whoa. So like Hollywood, it's just this, like they're all just swapping scripts around. It's so decadent. It's a word orgy. It's, yeah, it's a real Swinger's script swinging type orgy scenario.

There are no rules and any script can go in any franchise. Well, there are some rules. Yes. Like, you can only produce the script if you buy the rights to it and then rewrite it as your own script. Yeah, but that's like any. I did have, oh, here's another fact. That's a common decency.

There's another fact that maybe- Is it about diehard with the venus? It is. That's all I'm interested in. It is about diehard with it. But this might be a fact that everybody kind of already knows. Yeah, yeah.

The lead was Bruce Willis. Really? Bruce Willis. When I rewashed recently, I was like, he's okay, but I actually don't like Bruce Willis very much. Samuel L. Jackson is so good in that film. He's, he's, he can be very good in films. He can be good in films. Yeah. Samuel L. Jackson is so good in that film. He's he's he can be very good in films. He can be good in films. Yeah.

Samuel L. Jackson, good in films. That's probably what it says on his business card. You know who I'd like to see. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Get their own movie.

One of us? Well, it's related to Samuel Jackson. It's related to Samuel Jackson's character in the Incredibles. Yeah, Frozen. So, Frozen, but it's not Frozen. I'd like Frozen's wife or girlfriend. The Frozen's unseen wife. Yeah, she never real-friend.

She's just yells and you can tell that their relationship is loving but an antagonistic sometimes. She's like she can be a little bit controlling or that's what they at least portray from through the male ear. Absolutely. But I'd like to see, you know, like how did they hook up? You know, Frozen can obviously be in the thing, but how did they hook up? Because I mean, early in that film, that first film, he does talk about hookin' up with

super women, right? Because he says, he's like, man, like, you know, super, you know, like, supers women are always trying to tell you their, you know, they're real identities. I go, hey, look, if you got cool powers and you can save the earth, that's good enough for me. So is it, is his wife not a super- Well, I don't know. I guess she isn't.

Is he married? I don't know why she would have been under threat from syndrome in the first film. I know, but syndrome hadn't found... Frozen yet. Or, no, he had just tracked down Frozen, but. I know, but Syndrome hadn't found... Frozen yet. Or, no, he had just tracked down Frozen, but... Mm. You know, so...

But surely she would have been involved as well in the defending of the city or something, but maybe not. Maybe not. She's got other things in her life. I just think that it's... She's well-rounded. Well, that's exactly why it's so interesting,

because then who's this guy who has been dating supers? Mm. Right? And then at some point meet somebody who, and even says that he has no interest in their regular, in their regular personality. And then has it just to, all she is is regular identity. So how great must this lady be? Maybe she doesn't exist, or maybe she's a computer.

Hmm. Or in your film, do we see your on screen or all her lines delivered from off screen? Save on casting. I mean yeah, that would be a great, that would be a bold, bold choice. You won't and this leading character, you won't see the entire film. She just shouts thing off things off screen Like how would she how would you would you have to find? Ways to keep her off screen or is it just that you keep the camera away from it? Yeah, that is a way to keep someone off screen and a way is to keep the camera away from them

Yeah, like I guess they she gets on the bus and the cameras outside the bus You kind of just hear her through the window and the camera's outside the bus. But you kind of just hear through the window, but not so much. Shouting. I guess she gets to work, assuming she does work. Or she's got, maybe she's got a rich family. You know?

Indepently wealthy. Maybe she's involved in that. She does sound like she has that confidence. But then people also get confidence from not having any money and then having earned everything themselves. That's true, that could be where, yeah. But I mean, then again, money,

especially to a superhero who doesn't want to have a regular job, that would be very attractive. Very attractive, that could have been what did it. Yeah, that could be what got him interested in just a regular person it was her money That's what it was sorry. That was my phone. That was my phone That's what it was that's what it was yeah, so she could be very rich and off screen well, is this in any way a sketch? I think it's funny to try and

to Maybe like as like maybe like a fake preview for a film. I mean, that's the kind of thing people do on the internet. Yeah. You know? And I guess her, I mean, you don't want to call her Mrs. Frozen or something like that. She does have a name at some point because... Like 10 year or something like that?

Yeah, like I think... I don't know where a girl is. Rubber girl. it's just, I'll ask the girl. I'll ask the girl, sorry. I'll ask the girl does ask him about, about her when I think he's picking up Mr. Incredible and they go out to just,

to go bowling, but they actually go sitting in the car, listen to the, Is there gonna be a joke about Frozen, Friendzone sort of a situation? I mean, Friendzone's obviously a very topical reference to a thing that people are talking about a lot at the moment. And a thing that is also very politically correct

and sort of doesn't make anyone uncomfortable when you bring it up. Yeah, maybe, I mean, Friendzone could just be Frozone's twin brother who has a superpower where he can use the water in his body and in the air to turn people into his friend. Yeah, or Mike a friend. Yeah, make a friend, like a familiar.

I mean, familiar zone. familiar zone. If, if friend zone, I've just realized, is that a pun on end zone? Right, like I don't want to get to the friend zone, I want to get to the end zone, is that, is that? It could be, it could be a football thing. Yeah, because I've never perceived it as that until this moment.

Yeah, I guess it has the E&D ZO-N-E. E&D ZO-N-E. Yeah. E&D ZO-N-E. Oh damn. Wait. E&D ZO-N-E. E&D.

Yeah. Friend. Zon-N. En-Zone-N. Or En-Zone-N. Oh. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. Enzo N-D. Or Enzo N-D. Oh think Brad Bird just looks like he'd be a real friendly guy. I think Brad Bird is one of the most incredible filmmakers of all time. That's amazing, that's great.

It's such a genuine compliment to come out of you. It's really nice to see. Also, my son who loves the Incredibles and the Incredibles too. We recently watched the Iron Giant. And now he loves the Iron Giant. Like he watched it and we had to act it out. I was acting it out for days. All like even just the bits where like the little kid

is waiting trying to take a photo of the Iron Giant. And then he takes a photo of himself and I had to pretend to be the robot standing behind him. Or maybe he would stand behind me. I think he was the robot and I would be the kid taking a photo of me and then I would go, UGH! I'd say, and then I would run and then he would chase me and... That's the scene that you act out. Oh, no, actually, he would play the role and then he would get electrocuted and he would be like, UGH! Like this and you would just be flailing around and then I would have to go switch off the power. In the situation with you and your son, your small child plays the eye and giant and

you play the little kid. Yeah. And he, it doesn't matter what the scene is, he just wants to live it. That's the power of the imagination. And that's Brad Bird. That's what Brad Bird does. That's what Brad Bird does. Anyway Brad, we to our email.

We're really looking to make this Frozone's girlfriend movie, Slash Wife. We haven't really thought it through. We don't know her name. No, we know that she's rich. You know that that's a good point. That's a good plot point. Mm-hmm.

And I think the fact that we haven't thought it through makes it very exciting. It means that he, Brad, isn't constrained by these preconceived notions that we've kind of built into it. And that we're still flexible due to there being no structure. Oh, we're so flexible. We're like, we're like a slug. We're willing to work with you, Brad.

Yeah. We've thought it all the way up to the front door. We haven't thought it through. You've got to open the door. Yeah. And then we'll think it through. Yeah. Do we have some words from our listener? Were you about to say something though? Yeah, I was going to say have we got some words from our listener. Great. And do we do? You know, I was going to try to lie to you, say that we've run out.

But you know what? Actually, people were really generous and they've given us lots of words. I love it. And you know And obviously we're always happy to take more words. Actually, I think there's maybe two in the bank, two people have sent things that I've forgotten to check. I saw there and I was like, oh, it's because I always got to transfer the words from where people do it into my little document where I keep them and I haven't responded

and now I feel like a real asshole. Absolutely respond. I will absolutely respond. I apologize. So I don't want you to like a real asshole. Absolutely respond. I will absolutely respond. I apologize. So I don't want you to be a real asshole. Not a real asshole. All right, these words today, Andy, are from Jason. And I'm pretty sure it's Jason Ballard.

Jason, big supporter of the podcast. Thank you for everything you've done with. Huge, huge supporter. Huge supporter. No, huge, huge supporter. No, I got nothing. That was not. It wasn't trying to be Trump. Oh, was there a Trump vibe there? No, no. I was trying to be, um, who's, um, I was trying to be Ray Romano. Huge. I was trying to be myself. Do you remember? Which is so I succeeded. He was such a weird choice for that mammoth in Ice Age, because his voice is too distinct

and it doesn't really fit a mammoth. The humans, a mammoth would pronounce its ages. The humans, no, the humans. I don't know if that's the thing that you can say about mammoths. I mean, they don't pronounce the H in mammoths, do they? Yeah, it's in the TH. You're not pronouncing. That's all H.

There's a difference between us and us. I know, but such a short sound can last. So it's really the H that's giving it that length. Listen to the different the difference Those are different sounds No, but listen here Andy you're pronouncing a No, no that that sound it's no way is it to her. Yeah, it is. It's just it's a different sound sound. It's just it's a different sound. It's actually it's actually a fraction if you're trying to say it quick. Well that was a nose-h. I'll tell you

this. X-hael would not have cast Ray Romano as the as the mammoth in that. And the incredible. I would like if there's a third Incredibles movie it would be amazing if there was a mammoth based super I was just gonna say exactly that yeah, we could call it man myth man myth I think that's great could have his hair done in that same way that the mammoth do there So they're like a bit like that fryer tuck kind of look mm-hmm balled in the top. They balled in the top There any other animals that go ball Not unless I've got some sort of horrible disease. It's weird isn't it? Very weird.

Do you think that we might have the most testosterone of any animal? More than like one of those like a sea walrus or something like that rather than a land walrus. I was gonna say sea cow and I was trying to think of, there's like a, what's that one that has the biggest? The manatee. I think it's like the one that has like the biggest dick to body ratio. I think it's like the walrus or something like that.

Really? I heard recently on a podcast that the tapir has the biggest dick to body ratio, but that may not be true. Might have been a comedy podcast, they might have been joking. Yeah. I guess it gets a podcast, they might have been joking. Yeah. I guess it gets a bit of dick length from its nose.

Yeah. Wait, I had another thing somebody told me that they were in Wellington, New Zealand recently and they had actually was Ben. Ben, Erickson had worked editing on our show that we were working on. Yeah. Not our show, but a show that we were working on. Not our show, but the show that we were working on.

This conversation is getting way too conversation. Yeah, I know, Paul says. He said that he had tapier sausages in New Zealand. Really? Yeah. Went to New Zealand and ate tapier sausages. He wasn't there to eat tapier sausages. I know, I know, but I don't believe that is true.

I don't think that in New Zealand a country with no natural mammals you would import from South America halfway around the world one of the biggest, dicked animals in the world and then just turn it into sausages. Well, I think they're easier to transport as sausages than as animals. And I think you're asking for like live exports that would be awful. So I think maybe you can just have meat exported from overseas. I just find it hard to believe that the tappere is an animal that you would die on. I know, but he said it wasn't very good.

Right. Well, then I find it even easier to believe. Yeah. But you could see a world in which people would consider like a tapier, like a kind of cow. There's somewhere between a cow and a pig. I guess so. Yeah, and a horse, maybe even.

That look like a cow pig horse. I think they're also quite genetically close to an elephant. That I would believe it. Which is close to a woolly mammoth. Which is close to manmouth. Manmouth close. Close to manmouth. I was close. Cloth to manmouth. I was pronouncing the H in both of those.

No, you were not. All right, so Jason Ballard's, I'm just making sure Jason on Twitter, and then we got Jason Ballard on Patreon, and I'm assuming that those two are the same people. Because we want to give away your surname Yeah, what okay, maybe he doesn't want is I guess if he's not publicly putting his All right Jason boop His three words. Thank you so much Jason for the For the three words and for your constant support your one of my heroes

Card these are the three three words card. I'm beginning to get that. Burger. Juitori. Whoa. Card. Burger. Juitori. Do you know what a juritori is? No. Do you? Have you looked it up? No, I haven't. We get a lot of random words. We also get a lot of non-random words, I think coming through on this thing, but these three have got the highest randomness of any words. So I might have said that once before, but I think this is the new title holder for the most random. So we'll done, Jason, unless of course you had some theme in mind, in which case, well done again, because you've hidden it from us well. Juratory.

Relating to, or comprising, or expressed in, an oath, juratory obligation. Right. So it's something about when you join a jury. And you, you know, yeah. It's like the Hippocratic oath for jurors. Yeah. I think it's interesting that like you know when you when you say for example you're in you're on trial for murdering

Sock on on the mechanic. Yeah mechanic right You're you're tried by a jury of your peers But but those peers have never been in the set, like, surely in order to judge you, they should have had to be in exactly the same situation as you, up until the point where you murdered the mechanic. So, so that, you know, they can then with with some moral authorities say that they wouldn't have murdered the mechanic in the situation that you did. Yes, so what they would all have to be people who have this mechanic.

Yeah, presumably the same mechanic. Other people who go to the, I think this is interesting, right? Because how can you possibly judge whether the murder of someone was justified if you didn't know the person? Because they might have just been irritating. That's true. I mean, look, there's like very irritating. But I mean, that could be that that's maybe that's just the job of the defense. You know, like, like, you need people who have mechanics. Yeah. Right. But then the, the, the job of the defense is to explain exactly how annoying this mechanic is. Sure. Sure. Painting the picture.

Yeah. So he'll tell you that it's done on Tuesday, but then you'll get there on Tuesday, and he goes also not Tuesday now, Tuesday in a few hours. Yeah. And then- I meant Tuesday. When I said next Tuesday,

I meant Tuesday, the following week, not Tuesday this week. That's what I mean when I say next Tuesday. Oh, and by the way, I think that the first day of the week is Sunday for some reason. Yeah, one of those guys. Yeah. One of those guys. And already you can see the jury is seething.

And you're like, I've got them in the palm of my hand. Absolutely, which is. I reckon any one of them would murder the mechanic and right now it's no more. Let's make it attempted murder because. Because it's not pleasant. It's not pleasant, but attempted. It occurred to me the other day that a whole comedy show that is just, it's not pleasant. It's not pleasant, but attempt it. It occurred to me the other day that a whole

Comedy show that is just it's called defense Right, and it's just that you're just a defense lawyer. Yeah, and you can do all like we could do all our silly defenses I think it's great defense court case things Not look I think so wait, so this is defense is just this guy's really annoying Yeah Um, no look, I think, so wait, so this is the fence is just this guy's really annoying. Um, yeah. Uh, I think I think we've covered that previously in other sketches. Um, I, I mean, is there, is there anything in the angle that I was pushing of that you need to live exactly? Yeah, or that like, you, because normally they would try and disbar people who were too close to the case. But if you were prosecuting a case involving somebody who was genuinely annoying, maybe you would want

people who did know them, you know, a jury of people who were very familiar with the victim. Well, I guess that gives you the best chance of... Hmm, you could be experimenting with a different kind of system, you know, we're sort of trying to play around with the kind of court system idea and things like that. So instead of just like a court case, where we have all the jurors and different things like that, we're gonna let life play out for a little bit. I like this a lot.

Right, gonna let life play out a little bit. So we do a kind of a role play sort of thing. Well, we get let life keep going and then we hire jurors and things like that, but they're undercover jurors and they go and they use this guy's services. Like that, you know, they learn a bit about them, they meet them in the laundromat, things like that. And then if none of the jurors also attempt to murder him over those say six months that the trial takes place, and now it really is a trial by the way. You are trialing living in this scenario and it's such as the trials that we see it. They're not really trials. They're not really trying anything. No

They're having things explain to them. They're sitting, you know, you couldn't be doing less. Yeah, if I was, I'm nobody's ever murdered anybody while they're sitting down. No, I don't think so, except for somebody in a wheelchair maybe. Yeah, maybe. But even then, can you... Yes. I don't know.

No, I, I, I couldn't think of a single thing. Yeah, right. Turns out you can. Turns out you can't, from a sitting position. Yeah, great. Turns out you can. Turns out you can't from a sitting position. Yeah, I guess especially if you have a gun. Oh yeah. Well, even if you don't have a gun pointed at the person, what if you're facing away from them,

you shoot your gun and the recoil, it makes you run over the person. You ran over them. Oh, you were trying to do the opposite of murder. I was trying to not shoot them. Shooting a bullet in the opposite direction to a person is the opposite of try attempting to. Exactly. That's essentially giving them new life. Yes. They should live twice as long. It's like you could put a gun against their head, but it's the back of the gun. Yeah. And you shoot it away from them.

That's it's almost the nicest thing you could do to someone. He held a gun to my head. It was pointing out, don't worry. Yeah. In a sign that he wanted me to live forever. Anyway, I got quite a bad concussion from the recoil. Yeah. He emptied an entire clip in the opposite direction to my head. Yeah.

I mean, I guess everything is in the opposite direction to your head, isn't it? Really? Yeah, well, my head. I mean, I guess everything is in the opposite direction to your head, isn't it? Really? Yeah, well look at my head. Right? Okay. Every direction is in the opposite direction to it. For my point of view. What about me right now? I'm facing your head. But but but from my point of view every what I, or any, I guess it's complicated because your head doesn't itself have a direction. So for it to have an opposite direction, I guess you're trying to go for that kind of north pole everywhere or south from the north pole. Exactly.

So from like everywhere around the edges of my head, it's either you're either in or you're out or you're out. So everything if you're not going in, then you're going out. Yeah, I mean, I think with North and South it works because North is a direction. Yeah, whereas your head even in is a direction in yeah, so this is exactly the same as everything is the opposite direction to in my head my head every direction Forget about it. Forget about about what about my pen right now that's going towards your nose. Well, that's going in well not yet I don't know if the listeners are enjoying this conversation. Sorry. Andy, if we were capable of predicting what the listeners like to listen to,

this would be a much better podcast. All right. What I meant was I'm on the losing end of this argument. I'm not having a good time. And I'm using the losing end of this argument, I'm not having a good time. And I'm using the listeners as a... And if you were in my position, you would feel the same way. I guess sometimes you do listen back to the podcast.

Thank you. And I would hate to hear me struggling so much to defend myself. And as one of the listeners of the podcast, Alistair, I think that it's important from Democracy's point of view that I feel out to express myself. So yeah, I think real trial by jury, you know? Oh yeah, okay, real trial, that's a big deal. Yeah, or it's almost like a secret shopper,

but for crime. And yeah, you just let them run through the scenario. And... The secret shopper method of justice. Yeah, maybe they don't even know. I mean, I wonder if the jurors don't even really know. Like we just Truman style, Truman Show style, drop them into this scenario, right, and they have to live out their lives.

And then we just see what happens. Like isn't we wiped their memories, put them in a new place? Exactly. Like that. And then we see how they act. And if they have murderous intentions in this new world as a new person, but they still would have their core of who they are in a soul. Yeah.

Like that. We leave the soul, you don't touch the soul, just take all the memories. Yeah, you take. We leave the soul you don't touch the soul. No, just take all the memory Yeah, you take all the memories and then if it looks like maybe they would kill somebody now But you stop it from happening. Well, there are no real bullets. Oh great Like that. What about like are there real all the bullets are made out of ham? Oh great And it's that the same thing for all like the sort of bricks and the big rocks and And the the cliffs are there Any heights any heights at hand bricks and the big rocks and the cliffs. So they have ham.

Any heights? Any heights that ham? Yeah. What about strangling? Are people's necks and ham? Ham, ham? Ham? Ham? Ham?

We take their memories, but we put their consciousness into some ham. Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ham? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That smell will disappear. You'll only smell it first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Yeah to remind you that you're still in the ham world

But but that's the only way that you could distinguish this world from the from the other one Yeah, and then of course sometimes you just smell ham You know you live above a ham shop or something course. Well, that's how they would that's how they would say I thought I was still in the simulation. I could smell ham now, but you live above a bit of Baba Delhi a Ham Delhi. It's the I live above a Delhi defense. I live above a Delhi defense. But I never smell pastrami. Why? Well, because I was living in the Ham world in the ham Truman show method of defense. I Think true ham show Right true ham.

Thanks. How is editing the editing? It doesn't matter. I accidentally wrote Truman show method of ham. So I realized I had to write true ham show method of justice. Or determining guilt. Well, sure. Which I guess is justice and a well right justice again. And then in brackets,

justice is rind. What does that mean? Justice is blind. It's not much. Is the rind, is that skin? Or is that just like a, the adorning? I don't know what rind is. It's on the edges, very edges of the ham, right? Maybe it's just where the direct contact of the ham with the, I was gonna say the smoke that they use. But then do you cut the ham before you smoke? No, you smoke, do you smoke ham? Or is that bacon? I think I think you can smoke any meat. But I know you cure ham in some way.

You cure ham, I mean, cure it how? way you cure him I cured how you're up salt on salt I don't know I don't know I cooked I think it might be how to make him steam time steam time I think you steam it I don't know I don't know if it's cooked but I had a my can and please write it and And if you're a prisoner, you know that I make him when you're right and also send us one of George's Band names for his band and name like I know how to make him yeah making him we've got it We've got a we've got a one of our listeners is written in a band name for George I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it where they write where they write to they wrote to the two in the think tank at gmail.com I found the email address will be below in the show tune of the think tank at gmail.com. I found the email address will be below in the show notes

to the think tank at gmail.com. So we better do the song now. It's the end of the band name for George. Yeah, we're about to do the song now. Blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip bl, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, We're a mess. We're a mess. Let me take you through there. We'll take us through the room. Drug that makes you more law-abiding. Yes. As well as the drug that makes you a narc. Yes.

But then there's also, there's a narc-sniffer dog that's another sketch. Hmm. Right. Which is like, you know, people walking into music festivals and there's all these sniffer dogs and the people are like, oh no, it's for drugs and they go, no, no, we're sure it's not sniffer. And he knocks. Do you think it would be like people would enjoy

doing a drug that made them feel like a knock? Or, yeah, I guess turn them into a knock. Right, say you're with a bunch of friends, right? Everybody's doing whatever recreational drug is their thing. And then you do the one that turns you into a knock, right? And suddenly you have all the adrenaline, I I imagine of somebody who knows that they're going to inform on all their friends, right? You're hiding your identity, you're secretly, you know, working against everyone.

That sort of rush of being essentially undercover, especially because this drug emits a smell that would let people know. Because I guess in the same way that people who smoke weed or something like that would be like, people will smell this and know that we're, we've got hot, we got high and things like that. It's got to be like, well some of my cool friends will smell this and know that I'm now gonna go in like,

you know, tattletail. Dab on them. Dibba dab. Dibba dabber on the, like that. But also it would be an incredible position of power to put in, which would be the rush, be the rush of power, because you were led into this group of friends,

you know, and you were privy to this illegal act. But also this quite like a raw and open moment of vulnerability I imagine, from those friends as well. Like it's true trust. It's true trust. I mean, to know that you're going to betray that trust. Yeah, well, it's the, but you could blame the drug.

You go, it wasn't me. It was the drug. I was on drugs. I was on drugs. It wasn't me as the drugs that made me a narc. So what? You, you got naked and made war only a sock on your drugs. On your drugs.

That would be called the police. Yeah, it's like who did the sillier thing really? Then we got Narks Anonymous. It's a group where they meet and they talk about the lows of the lows that they've done. They've dubbed, Dipper Dubipper double done all their friends and One say no the holics Sorry, just a knockaholics. Yeah, that's good But then there's also narcotics anonymous, which is what it is kind of based off. Oh, yeah

Then we got the the rat ring lure You know, it's trying to make your planet look in such a way that might attract. Intriguing. Yeah, it might attract other aliens from other planets. Attract. Okay. Got trapped. Can you write attract without saying rat?

Yeah. It's hard though. Yeah. Then we got Rat Wall. This is obviously the rock film. Yeah, we put all these rats in a big dam basically. Yeah, essentially it's a Rat Dam. Rat Dam and we threw all our waste in there for them to fight over and eat, but then there's

developers that are attacking the Rat Wall. Yeah. You know those developers are like, they want to build condominiums. Near the big walled up garbage tip. Well, we put the rat, rats, rat dam in a really good location, close to the water near the nearer the children's nearer schools, near Christine Beachland and good schools. We shouldn't have done that. They're pristine beach land and good schools. We shouldn't have done that

Then we got We got the preview of Frozone's girlfriend's solo movie We found out her back it back her background. We call it. We call it just solo It's a good idea. Thanks. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Real trial by jury. This is where it's the secret method.

It's a secret shopper method of justice. That's where you, you know, you hear the charges, but then there is no court case. You just get the jurors and you get them to go live a life. I wonder if they even hear the charges. I think they just get the jures and you get them to go live a life. I wonder if they ever hear the charges. I think they just get... Okay, yeah. Going out there. Because they can't know.

They're not allowed to know what the crime is that they are being tested to see whether or not they commit. This could be anything. This is what that crime, the guy in the trial, was undergoing. He wasn't allowed to know what he had done. Right.

Kafka. Mm, well, his character and his role. Okay. I don't know if it was a say. Okay. What do I mean, Jay? Yeah, Jay okay. Yeah.

Um. It's fun to imagine, isn't it? Oh, I'm having a really good time. That book was very repetitive though. Yeah, I didn't get all the way through it. Look, I might go back. I was listening to it and I felt like, it felt like a God halfway. And then I was like, oh Jesus, this is just the same thing over and over again.

But, you know, looking back now, different things did happen, but they were just having that same conversation about, oh well, I, I assure you, I haven't done anything wrong and you know what I'm, but, uh, but you know, I'll get to the bottom of this, I'll go fight this here and then people got to take him, fight it just you know plead guilty or whatever like that and he's like well I can't plead guilty because I haven't done anything wrong and he goes well we haven't said that to anybody have you goes well some people have you know maybe have a look I I'm I assure you things will get better over time and I'll look at you know anyway anyway I don't well how do you know if you haven't gotten to the end oh because I can tell with them to get and we got the true ham show method of determining guilt slush justice. This is a similar sketch to the previous one, but... But you're putting a ham based simulation.

Yeah, and all your memories have been wiped. And then we find out if your soul is evil. Yeah. When it's put into some ham. When it's put into some sort of like biologically active ham. Yeah. Um, right. And we find it.

Oh, the cums are ham. The cums are ham. Bullets, I think the bullets are ham. Oh, the bullets are ham. Yeah. Cause I feel like if you push down on a trigger and you felt it squished like ham, you'd know something was wrong with the world. I think that was all you knew.

You would look, oh well, just another day in life, you'd think as your fingers squished the ham trigger. I know, Andy, but if you were... Ham trigger. The thing about this, you're in a public place, right? You're in a park on the picnic table. You're there with your children. Yes.

On the picnic table. Yes. There's just a gun resting on the picnic table a Black lock It's black. It's a black Glock right You pick it up to feel the weight. Yeah, this gun you found on the table my children are around I just want to feel the weight of the gun. You pick it up. It's what anyone would have done officer you pick it up And you know you rest your finger on the I want to feel the weight of the gun. You pick it up. It's what anyone would have done, officer. You pick it up.

And you don't you rest your finger on the trigger. But in a gesture of like the greatest love, you pointed away from your family. It's so true. It's like that up it's directly up in the air away from your head. Away from the whole world. Like that, yeah.

And in the greatest sign of peace. Yeah. And you pull the trigger, and it squishes like hand. And you think, I thought so. I knew it. You know, I think it would make you question, what world you live in.

You know what it might. Yeah. It might. Anyway, if I got to that point, yeah. I might have some questions About a lot of stuff Anyway, we were supposed to do the song now so beep beep beep beep feel free to join if you aren't, but also feel free to continue living your life.

Yes. You know, because you are wonderful and all you've got is feeling good. So just try to do that. Right. And also you can review us on our shows and stuff. I think it's lovely, so stuff. And we love you. And now just quickly at the end of the show, it's the Georgia's band name segment, where our editor

George needs a name for his band. And he doesn't like us when we suggest them. So we thought it would be better if you suggested them. You can email addresses down below. We've had our first suggested band name. I thought, though, ham trigger could be a good content. Ham trigger is good. And we had Alex Schmitz email us in a couple of weeks ago.

And he suggested clayfish. Clayfish, he says that he actually tried to pitch it for his band and was so excited about the name that he made a logo out of Plato and he sent that to me as well. So George, if you pick this one, you've already got a logo. Logo is done. Now, Alex, but the rest of the band hated it, but maybe George, in the rest of your band, you'll love it. Your other brother? My other brother Dave. Dave never gets mentioned on the podcast.

He doesn't edit it. No, exactly. Anyway, it's good to bring him up. Are there any other members of the band? Well, Nathan's sometimes in the band. I'm not sure if he's fully in the band. Nathan, who listens to this podcast? Nathan, who listens to this podcast.

Hi, Nathan. Thanks for listening to the podcast. You may be email us in and tell us if you're in the band. I'm not sure if he's fully in the band. Nathan who listens to this podcast. Nathan who listens to this podcast. Nathan thanks for listening to the podcast. You maybe you can email us in and tell us if you're in the band. Yeah and if you have any band names for your band. Yeah. And look I think actually it would be best if all the suggestions for the band name came through us. So Dave, George, Nathan, if any of you have any ideas about what you want to call the band, email them into us. We'll relate them, we'll read them out here and it'll just be more formal, more organized that way. It's clear that we're at an impasse.

Anyway, impasse, that's a good one as well. But it'll be spelled imp and ass. Yeah, impasse. And Aussie's spelling of ass as well. Imparse. Imparse. Imparse. Anyway, thank you, Alex, for Clayfish. I think it's good. Clayfish is really good.

I've had a little punny element that I like in a band name. Oh, Clayfish? Yeah, it's a little pun on. Nice thing. That makes me like it less. I know. I thought it would, but that's okay. We don't have to both like it. Just George and Dave and maybe Nathan have to like it. That's true. And that's the end of that segment. We're singing a little song to get out of this bit as well. And that will be in... Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

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