Two In The Think Tank - 164 - "CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANK"

Episode Date: January 1, 2019

Crank the halls, Crank Speed, Wool Hero, Ground Height, Flat to be News, Mountain Eater, Turn the 5 Upside Down, Nature's Funniest PlantsDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag.This episode was recorded early, so we didn't get to George's band names, but please keep emailing them to [e-mail] you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereDesperate last minute thanks to George for producing this ep Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. B-Podcast where we come up with five sketch ideas. My name is Andy. And I am Alistair Giorgio Williamo, Tronley Virtual. That's right. That's right. You legally changed the accent of your two middle names, both deaths and marriages. I made my middle names fake Italian.

I wanted to have a sketch of that. Once I had an idea for a sketch that you get around to somebody's house and they're like, hey, before you come in, just want you to know that my dad is a fake Italian. I think we did, we started writing that. We started writing it, we tried to pitch it to John Conway, he was very uncomfortable about it. I don't know what. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was back when we did the My Sandwich show. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. We realized that we should have called it club sandwich and then we stopped doing it.

You know, just when we hit on a really good name. Yeah, club sandwich. You're going to do a few shows like I think we did four shows to diminishing audiences. Sure. But, at least we we nobody could hear us. That was I think one big thing on that show. It was very difficult to hear us. Was the audio? I think the acoustics were not good at that place. I think yeah well it's a huge room and we weren't miked most of the time. Yeah but I mean there weren't that many audience

members to that like this there was a lot of sound per audience member to go around. I'm not sure how sound works, but like volume per capita would have been abundant. I have a feeling they just sat really far away because they were already, even before the show started, they were already feeling a bit embarrassed for us. Yeah, yeah, that's a good place to come from, I think, a position of pity early on before you even start. Would this work, could you have like a series of funnels along the front of the stage, right?

And then pipes that go out to all the tables. And the audience members put the pipes in their ears and you talk in the sound, or can, or can and string. Can and string, right? Each table has a little can on the string Is that the warmest of the sounds for the telephone sounds? What do you mean the warmest like you know like kind of like like a record? It's sort of like always it's it's a it's a it's like a cleaner sound But it's also got a warm feel

Yeah, yeah, because it's an older style technology. But I think also it takes away like you lose something from the digitization, whereas same thing with what, once you turn the voice into a signal on a wax disk or whatever it is, to make a record, you're losing something. The truest, warmest sound, it's so warm's so warm. It's hot sound. You get from a can in a string. Yeah. Yeah. It's the taut string. I'm obviously going to go good quality string. It's got to be pretty taught. It's got to be, yeah, yeah, we're talking. We're talking a pretty taut string. Yeah. So this is a, it's a live show. Everybody listen, are they not in the room or do they all, it's just so that you don't have to project.

Are they not in the room? Yeah, I mean like I suppose I suppose it could have been like a well, they had the wireless radio, right? Well, well, you know like you used to gather around the wireless to listen to the old-timey What's the name you show. It was a version with wires, right? And what is a wire, but a glorified string? Metal string. Metal string. And so I think we would have had some kind of a string-based system of that with strings

running down the street, you know? Because I guess a wire is like a string, you didn't have to keep taught. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, which was the problem. Mm. And opened the interference from birds and so on, sitting, you know. Sitting on the wire.

Could you have had a version where the only way to get sound into your house was a bell, right? A bell on the end of a string. Mm-hmm. Right? And so the radio station, which would have, was a bell, right? A bell on the end of a string, right? And so the radio station, which would have been like the bell tower central or whatever, they would have got people who were really good at bell ringing in, and they would have pulled these strings, and the strings go out to, you know, there'd be a one big rope that goes down the road, and then everybody's got a little string that comes into their house with a bell on the end, and you could gather around the bell, and you could listen to some of the best

people in the business yanking bells. And so would the bell say something or just play music? It just plays bell music. But do you think just dingo, lingo, lingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, dingo, but do you think that there's a way? Like, you know, who is that mathematician who figured out that you could break down each way even to a Fourier transform? Yeah, so we're talking Fourier that mathematician who figured out that you could break down each wave into a... Fourier transform. Yeah, so... The Fourier transform. Do you think that all music, all forms of music, can be communicated by belt?

Well, I'm wondering whether all form of communication, whether you could recreate the human voice using bells. If you played bells the right way. The right way. Yeah, I think the challenge comes from doing it all with just playing one bell. Yeah, I mean, if you could try to do it with one bell, I mean, obviously you're increasing the challenge to you. But you know, a speaker works in it's just one cone. Fuck. Are they playing the cone? Was that what you would say? The play in the cones. Hmm. Hmm. Listen into the cones. Actually, I... He blows a mean cone. You know, before they had speakers,

people used to just have to vibrate their own cones if they wanted to make sound. Ha! That was me vibrating a cone. Can you vibrate a cone and just make sounds? How does the work... I think you got to vibrate it pretty fast, right? Because we're talking like the speed of vibration to there.

We think about that 50 hertz hum that you hear, which is, sometimes you just get out of, like speakers with nothing's plugged in. Like, I think that's 50 things per second. 50, 50 gears. I know, you have 50 gears. You could have some gears. Gears to speed up the vibrating of the thing.

Well, like, you know, like, you get some gears and they're hooked up to another gear and that increases the ratio of movement. Well, maybe we could just get something you were just turning a crank, right? We could certainly be turning a crank and that spins a thing. I know, but you're physically. And then there's a little piston that goes in and out. It feels like you would need several things so that there's some, because you know, 50

is actually a very low music. Well, exactly. That's what I was trying to suggest that it was good. If that's what I was trying to suggest that it was good if that's that hard you need some Cranks that that you know like one push gets you to a thousand megahertz real pretty quick. I took in some pretty serious gearing going on here. Yeah, no, but this is this is the world's pre digitization It was all through analog innovation and cranks. Is this what the movie Christmas with the cranks is about? I think Christmas with the cranks is, is that the movie crank?

The Christmas version of the movie crank? Where everyone has to be jolly, a certain amount. Well, everyone has to be having a certain amount of Christmas. Man, if there isn't a crank Christmas movie in the works already and I know that we've come up with different versions of the movie crank on the podcast in the past but I feel like the name Christmas with the crank is too good for us to pass up right now a Christmas tie-in crank movie Jason Stath, if you're listening and I assume you are, you gather around the bell in your house.

Yeah, but the guy is playing. The podcast is coming out of. I think, you know, oh. So it actually is just what, like, jolly cheer or just, you have to experience a certain amount of Christmas cheer. A cheer, or you blow up? What was it? What happened?

I think he just dies, doesn't he? And crank? Cruisurably he doesn't blow up. That feels like it's really stretching the poor's ability of the crank franchise. And I was just trying to cram some speed in there. Both crank and speed. Hmm.

Yeah, sure, okay. What about speeds and other movie that can use a Christie's? Let's combine those two movies, Speed, Crank Speed, we call it Crank Speed, and it's Keanu Reeves and he's on Jason Statham's back, right? Jason Statham.

That's the beauty. Right, I get a spree. Just like, if it's just five miles an hour. Sure. And after a month or so, a kilometer is an hour. Five. That's a real endurance thing.

And then he realizes, of course, that he doesn't have to just be running. He can be falling. He could be on a bus. I guess that's a movie in which he's on a bus going at five bars on out. That's not that impressive. No, but maybe they could get a bus, like that, you know, that like that. The police could get a bus that would drive slowly and that just has a handle on the back that he can hold on to and get pulled along at the right speed. Yeah, is he waggling

his legs? I presume he's still waggling his legs. Well, he's still as the key run. He's so looking for the benefit of the bus. Well, then he's not having to put in the effort. Is he being pulled over the bus? He's running. I know, but running but whilst being pulled puts that, you're not using your legs to like push and lift, you're kind of just catching yourself. I'd be really interested to hear a sports physician tell us exactly how this how this works because I'm not convinced. Yeah well I it just feels like surely that force that energy that's kind of pulling you along is definitely having some impact right? I guess it must but it feels like the stress of being pulled along as well. I mean I guess he's already at peak stress. Yeah he's he couldn't get

more stress. He's got a bomb in his gallop. Oh right is it the gallop? No that's not what I don't know what you're talking about. Is that the gallop? The gallop or the gallop? The gallop? No. Gallop. I got a bomb in the gallop. I've never heard gallop is travels. No, no, no, no. Me Galover. Yeah, join me to Google it while you hold court? Hold court? No, I can't find my phone.

It's all good. Oh, thank God. I really got out of that. I think you're really dodged a bullet as well, to be honest. Andy, I'm absolutely happy to be wrong. I could pitch crank movies to you all day. To think, okay. Christmas. A crank movie in which he has to be just stressed, just a certain amount

stressed at all times, or he'll explode. How about this? Doesn't the idea that he's already going to explode wouldn't that be quite stressful? Isn't the bomb maker doing a lot of the work for him? No, that'll be too easy for him. This is the, this is the, okay, it's a meeting with the people who are deciding what they're going to put in Jason for him. This is the, this is the, I know. Okay, it's a meeting with the people who are deciding what they're gonna put in Jason Staten. It is Galaba. And what he's gonna have to feel a certain amount of missing guys of the world.

Yeah. Sort of just pedantry sort of irritation at sort of spelling mistakes and that sort of thing. Just isolated events of, isolated events, apostrophes on cafe signs that he finds annoying. It's got to be a certain amount of pedantic. It's got to write a certain number of letters to the editor. I think this this Keanu Reeves rides Jason to stay there. One at a certain speed. It's just got the perfect elements for a movie that a big box of is hit. Oh yeah.

Right, but two stars. Because I mean, they're always going to be in frame at all times as well, which saves so much money. Right, you don't have to cross shoot ever. Oh, absolutely. It can just be one locked shot on these guys. You're going to save a lot of money on that one camera man you actually can't remember anyone I forget.

I mean, I'm not sure as a fraction of what you pay Kiano Reeves or what you've got to pay Jason's death and to carry Kiano Reeves. But in strangely, Eric and Keanu is actually the one who's gonna be carrying Jason Statham in terms of performance wise. Really? Yeah, well I think Jason has got to do the running, but Keanu's got to find something to do there on the back.

You're right. You're right. You know, to... He's the one who's really working. Yeah, he's the one who's really working. And I can already see a few ways in which they can you know try and trick the system You know they can they'll be able to get them on a on a like a one of those treadmill and then they could also sort of maybe put like some straps around

Keanu and kind of lift him up a little bit so he's not as much weight take the white take a bit of the weight But obviously he's still gonna have to touch certain points on on Keanu rigs Jason's death in his body, you know, rusted exploding will happen. Yeah, so you probably gotta have his legs You know his heels probably have to Ractor round him all yeah, and his hands after at least beyond his shoulders Or you know, so you know if his hands get more than you know Or you know, if his hands get more than a meter away from his heart or from the bomb or whatever, that'll also set it off.

Obviously, there's the boss idea. Right? But then I wonder, maybe if they... So Jason's statements just out going for a run. Back up for a run. And then, can you run a lot up alongside him with like a piece of paper with like, bombing your Galiba written on it? There's a bomb in your Galiba. Galiba. Galiba. And Jason says it's like trying to read it.

It blows out and like hits him in the face and he takes it off and he's like bombing your gallop up. Maybe, maybe he starts to slow down. Jason Statham has to, Kiana Reeves has to jump on him to start whipping him just to keep him up. No, I think initially Kiana probably, you're right, probably isn't part of it, right? Kiana was just having a picnic in Central Park. Right? Right. And James Statham is going for a run. He's just going for a regular run. Jason Statham runs, a big long one. I know exactly the conjure talking about. And meanwhile he stops.

He's a quarter of the way through his run. Right? He runs 10 to 12 miles a day. Wow. Yeah. But according to the way he runs. So he's in good shape. He's in great shape. According to the way through the run, he stops for a hot dog in his central park. Oh, no. Right. Keanu can see him.

He's just kind of just paying attention. He Keanu had just seen some shadowy figures around the hot dog stand. Around the hot dog stand. And he's just saying, you know what it is? When you're on a 12 mile run and you stop for a hot dog stand. Around the hot dog stand. You know how it is when you're on a 12 mile run and you stop for a hot dog? Yeah. Alistair, that completely got past me.

But I'm glad we're just taking a moment to appreciate. Hey, this is Stapham's regime. This is Stapham's regime. He's gonna keep that. He'll keep his protein up, he'll keep his carbs up. You know. He'll keep his mustard up and keep his carbs up you know you're gonna keep his mustard's up yeah anyway these people know something about staphim they know

that he stops you know they've every day they're dead he stops every day to get hot dog quarter the way through his you know on the four mile mark onions on the top they get something placed in the hot dog. Right, Keanu sees that happen. He starts falling. He doesn't really cheer that hot dog as well. He will sit down. Absolutely, it's Jason Statham.

Man doesn't use his teeth. Man's all gums. Yeah. All gums and gulver. Gums and gulver for a war or gallop. That's going to be that's going to continue to trip me up this entire episode. And so then Keanu starts trying to signal him. Because he's already got an instinct. He's got an instinct for these things. He's got an instinct for these things. This is

for him. This is speed three. Yeah. Now he wasn't in speed two, but was it still his character in speed two? He was in his face. His character still existed, so therefore he existed even if it was outside of the, he didn't ever come into frame. You could tell that you're still in the movie. That's true. That's true. By the way, that movie took place in the universe in which he was.

So even if he wasn't involved, he's read about it in the news and he's taken note of the salient facts. As you would, if you'd been involved in the previous one of these types, he probably would have had to have been paid just to not be in the movie. Pate to not be in the movie. Do you think so? Do you think he had enough pull on that movie that he almost had to pay me? I'm'm not gonna be in it, but I want you to pay me anyway. I'm gonna need it. That's my final offer. Yeah, I don't know. Look, that's just my guess.

I bet he's got a great agent. So then they would have seen him trying to signal him, and then they rig him up with some weird thing, and then. They rig up Keanu. They rig up Keanu. They slip something into his mayonnaise, and his picnic. Yeah, and then maybe something on Keanu. They slip something into his mayonnaise and his picnic. Yeah, and then maybe something on his hands as well, so then anyway. And then somehow they get him on

Jesus and Setham's shoulders. I think I think I think he he's got to jump on to Jason's statham. But if you sign a call and then it's got to be that whoever's involved sees him there and says, well, you're involved now. Like in Die Hardware of Engines, when Samuel L. Jackson, he just intervenes to try and help Bruce Willis, but then the, you know, the, what's the name? The Captain German guy tells him that he's got a, he's now involved. Well, then how about this?

The elements of all the greatest movies, by the way. The bad guys are chasing Killiner who was trying to alert Jason Statham. Yeah, yeah. Right. And then he runs over like a bridge, an overpass, just as Jason Statham is running underneath it. So he jumps off and lands on his shoulders. Yeah, correct.

Either his shoulders or his piggyback. I think it's got is always piggyback. I think it's got to be piggybacked. The framing is going to be too difficult if it's the... They would have to make cinemas. We're not going to lose our saving on having that second camera man. Yeah, cinema screens, you would need to get a cinema screen that goes long ways upwards like that.

So then yeah, I guess yeah, then he's involved. Or you're going to have to get seats for the audience where everyone's lying down in the cinema. Yeah, or yeah, or strapped up the wall. Or everybody could tilt their head. I mean so many people have used to seeing things filmed in portrait mode on telephones now. I've got no problem with these things being

until we flip the cinema. I mean, I think it'd be nice if there was one portrait cinema. Why would that be like? Same thing but upwards. You're right. That is what it would be like. You get more headroom in the shots. I mean, there's more space.

Some of that upper, you know. A lot of the time when I'm watching a movie, I go, I always wonder when I'm watching a character talk, I go, I wonder what's up there. I wonder if there's any birds flying by up above. I tell you, you're watching a character talk I go, what's up there? What does this any birds flown by up above? It's actually watching a real good movie. Yeah, what does that any planes flown by? Another yoddy of guy probably would have gone playing. That's the one thing that you know about any movie.

Is there any no planes flying by? Yeah, it's because audio guys are good. Yeah, they would have probably picked up that bird. I don't know if any of the listeners picked up that bird that was just going nuts. Here outside the garage, we're in ours garage by the way. By the way, we're recording this one on location. Yeah, we're trying to cram in a bunch before Christmas.

Yeah. So, I mean, obviously, I'm not supposed to sell people. I don't know why people say that you shouldn't tell people what time it is. Oh, it's going to date it. It's going to date it. No, you know, they recorded that at 9am? It's 4pm now. Why am I gonna listen to this podcast?

It's dated. Doesn't make sense. Yeah. The dates. It's on the other side of the world anyway. Like technically Americans could listen to this before we recorded it. How crazy is that?

If I upload this in time. That's true. Which I won't, because I'm always late. They could be listening to this when it doesn't exist. This was the other way that I thought they could trick it. Keanu and Jason. Water skiing. That's really good.

You know, he could keep going a certain speed. And that's a thing when people are getting on each other's shoulders anyway Exactly, yeah, he gets pulled along so then he's you know, it's like the bus scenario But we know that he's not exerting any force. Yeah, the only problem is this what if he comes off Keanu no, what if you like Stacks it, and he's got? And he's got a swim. He's got to start swimming real quick. Yeah. You know, maybe you could, maybe the best thing for him

is to be grabbed by a shark or something and dragged. Mm. Yeah. A long distance. Drowned and killed and torn apart. I don't know. No, no, no. At least that he wouldn't have to die

through the painless way of explosion. People say drowning is the best way to go. Do people say drowning is the best way to go or it's the worst way to go? I can never remember and I feel like I need I need some clarity on this. Well, people who have told me that they felt themselves start to drown. For everyone to mind said that he was doing some scuba diving thing and he started, he was like, I realized I realized I was just swallowing water. So, like, but it happened a few times before he went, oh, I'm just swallowing. Like into his lungs? I can't remember. Yeah, right. But what was going on was almost not noticing it.

So if it's like that, that'd be great. But obviously he did notice at some point. So that probably also happens. Yeah. Then the panic really would set it. The trick to drowning well is to not pay attention to it. Try not to notice it. You know? Just let it wash over you. Wash it. And into. And into you.

You know, if you do get a bunch of water in your lungs and then you do get out of the water. I think you've told me this on the podcast before. I'd be about to say you can still drown. You can still drown. Just if you go to sleep, you just go home or whatever. You don't get any of that water taken out of your lungs. Yeah, you know how they just send you home? Well, that's if you go to just go home or whatever and you don't get any of that water taken out of your lungs. Yeah, you know how they just send you home? Well, that's if you don't go hospital.

Right. Don't go hospital. Yeah, you go. Maybe there wasn't even any bondier rescue there. You just kind of like, you got dumped by a few heavy waves, you couldn't quite get out of the room, but eventually you did. But one point swallowed a bunch of water in your lungs. Mm-hmm. Do you think that on Bondi Rescue, anybody's rescue or medical treatment has ever been delayed

while they get the cameras into location? You know, not by much, but by, you know. Just like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and then they're just getting that guy with the reflective thing so that they can get us slightly better light. Yeah. That, I mean...

I'm sure having the cameras there doesn't speed up the process of filming things in wrestling... Sorry, doesn't speed up the process of rescuing people. And those flags when I say between the flags... Is that really because that's the safe area to swim or is that really just because it's more convenient for the camera crew to be able to get there? I think... Well, I think you're... You You asked me that question for real. As a former life saver. You were a former lifestyle saver, I was, you know,

longer a lifestyle. I've let my bronze medallion, sort of, you know, go out of a loop. Laps, yeah. It's lapsed. It's lapsed, so. But I could get back in there. I could be saving lives. I never had to save one a single life

Mm That's a that's a weird thing isn't like you know, you know once a cheater always a cheater or a once a once a boy scout Always a boy scout. Mm-hmm. But a life saver. You don't have to save a life and you're already a life saver Yeah, I mean yeah, there's other things that you do at once and you're always that thing. You know, sheepfucker. Murderer. Sheepfucker. Or sheepfucker. There you go. You know, you never get that never lapses. Never lapses. I'll let my sheepfucking medallion laps. No, no, no, nobody always knows. As soon as they know that about you, that you'll always be that kind of person to them. Yeah, I mean, is there, is there, are there any good versions of that? I think maybe you're all good things.

Lapse, but all bad things stay with you. Right? I mean, young punk. How many lives would you have to save before you know, sheepfucking was not even mentioned in the news article about you? was not even mentioned in the news article about you. Well, I reckon if you become a war hero, they'll forgive almost anything like that. I see, I don't know that that's the... I can't... If you become a war hero, it becomes extremely rude to say anything negative about you. Yeah, I think Victoria is currently going through that with one of our,

Australia is going through that with one of our war heroes. There's some, there's some legal stuff going on. There's some allegations being thrown around and a lot of people are very uncomfortable about it. Yeah, and I think we don't know how to feel. And I think there's just people online that just defend the crap out of them. But now is there a sketch in any of this? Well, I mean, the gum, something, there's got to be something in this sheep huck or eagle, right? Well, sorry to keep saying

that, right? But like, say the news comes out that somebody has fucked a sheet or somebody finds out I feel like the government wants to know first Right if you fuck the sheet because then they've got a great hold over you to say like look We're gonna need a lot of war heroing out of you to be able to keep this under wraps or something like that like it's kind of a It's kind of a blackmail, I suppose. It's something that Russians would love to have over you. A bit of footage like that, bit of comprement. Oh, if you're gonna do it though,

don't do it in like a Russian hotel or something like that. No, don't do that. Don't make love to your sheep in a hotel. I mean, what's worse do you think that making love to the sheep or the, or just the, you know, the sort of the carelessness with which it was done. The lack of regard for the sort of the socio-political context. That you've taken your sheeplovered on a trip to Russia.

On a trip to Russia, yeah, I mean, and where does that fall with our live animal exports? Hmm. Well, I guess as long as you don't sell it. Yeah, yeah, as long as you don't sell it. Yeah, yeah, as long as you... Well, look, what about this? You know, it's a guy who everybody absolutely, everybody in this town has convinced, has had sex with animals, right? Okay. And now, and it's all over the internet when you Google this person's name. Oh, not.

Yeah, so they're trying to change their life around. Now, they've probably they've probably tried changing their name. But there's a whole Facebook group dedicated to just tracking them down. Yeah. So they can make fun of them for being a sheep lover. Hmm. Yeah, we're really soft in that, haven't we? I think quite masterfully with, thank you. With used language, you have, you can get full credit for a beer Look, and that does something that you can't say The person can be? Maybe, look, maybe they are sheeplover Mmm, right? Mmm

I'd like to think so There we go, right? Rather than just be like, you know, a rumor or a very strong rumor Mmm-hmm And then, they're trying to reverse engineer this thing with these, you know, like maybe they are seeing this scandal with this, you know, former, like war here, one of our greatest war heroes. And he goes, well, this person, almost nobody can, without, you know, without getting shattered down, criticize this person for, you know, whatever, like the possible illegal killing of people while war and, you know, being involved in domestic violence and

things like that. So, so maybe I'll find a way to try to become a war hero and then I'll shed this, this damn image of me as a sheep lover and I can go back to love and cheap. Do you think when you win a Victoria's cross-metal for bravery in the face of danger. And so, with regard to your own life. And you get it pinned onto you by the governor general. He leans in and whispers in you, you can fuck any sheep you want. And then just leans back, like... Well, I mean, that feels like a great closing to the scene. LAUGHTER

Yeah, I think that's a sketch, right? I mean, I wanna know like if this person who copped this all their life, does go away to war, does save the nation in some way, and then there's plaudits and there's a ticker tape parade, but like, but then they still, when we see the newspapers spinning at the screen, which I've never seen that done with Tweets, but we've got to update that.

And his paper's spinning to a little bit. You know, like at the end of Bill and Ted's bogus journey, or excellent adventure, one of them, that was it, that definitely happened in that. You know, we've got to do that with tweets or like Buzzfeed listicles or something. Good idea. It's a good idea. So solid idea.

You know, and maybe it's actually quite hard. I'm saying that these articles come up with a screen and it still says sheepfucker saves us, right? Or something. And I wonder if that would change our national discourse. Whether or not maybe it would become sort of okay. You think we could get more okay? Hmm.

I don't know. Well look. It probably happens more than we'd like. We love our veterans. Hmm. How about this, Elastair? I'm a veterinarian. Yeah.

I only eat returned servicemen. And women. Thank you. And are you a woman? Yes. Let's see. Is there anything... I mean I think think that's a fun tweet. That's... is it? I think it's a fun tweet. Keep me away from the buffet at the RSL, that's all I'm saying. Or away from any other area. Anything else? Actually, keep me near the buffet, so I can fill myself up on non-vitrants.

Non-vitrants. Yeah, so I hope there's none working the Bain-Murray. Would it work as like I'm a veterinarian? I can't go in within, they won't let me within a hundred meters of an RSL. Do you think people would understand what was going on there or would those just seem like two unrelated thoughts? Yeah, no, I think it's too far. I think it's too big a leap. Yeah. Because, yeah, I don't know, I want to find, I want to find, I want to put as much distance as

possible between the, you know, the setup and the resolution. What about my retired veterinarian? I think a veteran is by definition retired. Really? I don't think you're a veteran until after you've... Oh right. I thought it was just somebody who came back home. Yeah, what you maybe are right. Veteran. I'm a veteran of 50 years at... yeah, you know, I'm a veteran of 10 years in the hospitality industry. You could still be in the hospitality industry. It's like a senior player, like an old hand. I'm an old hand. Old hands, a good band name. Old hand, you know, email address 2 in the think tank at gmail.com, email

then if you've got any suggestions for George's band. Old hand, absolutely. Do you have that account linked up to your regular gym? Yeah, they come straight in. I get dings, don't worry about it. I get alerts anytime of the day or night. You send an email, that'll ding straight into an Andy's pocket. Yeah, and don't worry, I keep the volume on

at all times all through the night. Right? This will wait, I guarantee you email me with a ban name. I will wake up. I'll wake up my wife. I'll say, Carly, Carly. Mm-hmm, you can call me. Somebody has a ban name for George.

Yeah. Gold hair. She'll love it. She will have just got back to sleep after feeding the baby. Yeah. This is how much seriously we take it. Right? You guys should email that account so much that Andy

turns off notifications. Hey, try me. But I'm just saying whoever sends emails now band names or you know whatever that'll definitely go straight to Andy's eyes. That'll be definitely seen by Andy's eyes. We need a thing that is other than urgent, right, for emails, which is just like, if you're emailing me something and you're like, this is genuinely cool, right? Give me a different kind of alert and I think I'm probably more likely to look at that than I am an urgent email. Because what's your regular sound? Like a ding?

Yeah, just a ding. Yeah, maybe like a thing of like... whew. Like a... Like a... Ah! Whoa! What about this? What about this?

Oh! I don't know. No? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I can have that coming from my pocket, LSD. Wow, it's not from your mouth, so you're safe. I guess so. I guess the pocket's the safest place.

Unless you hold your mouth in a kind of all-way naturally, then people might suspect that it's coming from your mouth. Resting o-face. So, my favorite sounds to do it, I can't even really believe that I can breathe in and out that fast. Yeah, yeah. Now, imagine if you could shake a speaker that fast. Yeah, then I could make, I could, anyway, manual.

I guess that's what a wobble board is, isn't it? Maybe. Is it? Well, I wonder whether a speaker uses the wobble board principle. I've never heard really a speaker go, wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak wak. Now I wonder if that, no, but that can, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,, can you get like an alto wobble board and a base wobble board? I like to think so. I like to think that you could get a piccolo. Yeah, like a wobble board that's kind of like more like made out of a gong material.

Like an orchestral one. Yeah. The Steinway, the Steinway do a wobble board? Well, I figure a wobble board and like a proper wobble board practitioner would have a team of wobble boards with him like you know just like a whole array. A rack? Would you have a rack? Absolutely rack. Yeah. Yeah. You would need a van. It would be it would take up more space than three timpani's I think. Which it feels like a very odd amount of timpani's to own, but I guess that depends on how many tones you're going for. Usually I picked your two timpani?

Yeah, I mean, I don't pick your any number of timpani's. Do you think you could have an all wobble board quartet? Yeah, I think you could have had one. I think recently the wobble board has had some significant like damage to its brand again by Australians who are under a cloud. Sure, but um But it doesn't feel like we've got the absolute most out of the wobble board yet Absolutely not, absolutely not.

But all I am saying is that I don't know who's going to put in the time, you know, because it's a thankless task working to redeem the wobble board. Firstly, from the terrible associations with its chief proponent, if you don't know who I'm talking about, then don't worry about it. And secondly, the fact that it's the wobble board. Like, you're already pushing shit uphill with the wobble board, I think. Yeah, but I think it could just be more,

you know, if you use it in a slightly more, rather than a percussive way, maybe use it as in a more melodic way. Okay, somebody who could, look, I'm totally ready to have my mind blown by somebody in the wobble board who can like convey depth of emotion

That wasn't previously thought possible someone who will come along like Louis Armstrong and play notes that we didn't even know We're on the wobble board Spectrum well, I guess you could you in the middle of the wobble board you could put like a Sort of like a thicker bit, you know, like maybe like a hammery bit, and then play it in between two xylophones that are laying on their side. Yeah, I feel like those xylophones are doing a lot of the work.

I know, but then now you're using the wobble board and the xylophones together in a new instrument. The zobble, the zobble phone. The Zobble Phone. The Zobble Phone. Well, look, I will tell you this. We need more words starting with X because it's very difficult to communicate to kids what the point of the X is. You know, when I'm trying to do the alphabet there and I won't get to the X,

it's always like X-ray fish or Xylophone. X-ray fish. I got a book of animals with letters for each animal, or animals for each letter, right? X-ray fish. It's like a, it's a type of fish you can see through it. But the x-ray fish is made it into the book along with things like L for lion.

Like x-ray fish doesn't deserve to be in this book. It's only making up the numbers or letters as the case may be, right? Oh, so that's... I think we could... Look, we should come up with any old shit. And whatever it is, let's just name it with the letter X and then just by sheer... Like, that's where the... That's the weak point in the alphabet system is the fact that there aren't enough things that start with X. So you can sneak stuff in and you know, anytime somebody is looking for something that starts with X, you're going to come up in the top three search results. I think we just-

Because there are only three things that start with X. And you got to diversify what X can do, right? Use, you know, now that a lot more Chinese names and places have entered sort of English and people are more exposed to this kind of stuff. Let's make X. Well, yeah, more of that. Yeah. So if we could just like start taking away, because then if we did that, we wouldn't need SH. Yeah, I'm happy to. So then take out everything that has SH, right? Shirt, X-I-R-T, shirt, like that.

I'm fine with this. I mean, like, why are we inventing double letters, double letter sounds when we've already got underused regular letters? Yeah. And an X is a real good letter as well. Like you look at the design of the X, you're like, that's one of the alpha letters, really. Well, I mean that symbol is such a big player in the math world. Pals in the America.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's done well in the math world. And the pirating world. The pirating world? Pirating world. Oh yeah. Yeah. Absolutely, like behind that skull. Oh, mocking Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely like behind that skull. No marking the spot. Oh, yeah But also behind the skull behind the skull above the skull under the skull the crossbones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Exes all over that. I mean, I don't like this colon in a cross though Because this isn't a cross more like the thing Jesus was hanging on Yeah, cuz like that and it's that knots and crosses that screws people up. It's not knots and crosses. It's zeros and X's or O's and X's. O's and X's. Here's a thing placed in life where like, is there anything in there? Let's see. Like in life where like, is there anything in there? Let's see.

Like, like, like... I mean, like, there's a... It kind of makes me think about that Sesame Street song where they're trying to... Where we're, we're the Burgess part of some club. Is it W? The W, and they're talking about how they love this letter and it's a song. Yeah, okay. No, no, but it sounds good.

You know, and they're like, you know, it could be W, you know, appreciation kind of club. Yeah. They talk about all the great words it does well. I think, you know, an ex-appreciation club that is trying to, you know, make X relevant before we lose it. It's genuinely like one of the best symbols in the alphabet. It's being wasted. It's being wasted and there's extra things being created that, you know, they could talk

about the productivity with the word that we're losing based on the... I feel like we've talked about exactly this idea before. Something about reusing letters from now for bit more. I feel like this is like we talked on it about it in like the last four podcasts. No, it wasn't the last four. No, there was something about Scrabble and about we want all the letters to be worth the same amount.

Something about aliens coming down maybe, I'm getting flashbacks of like, we are just repeating ourselves. Like I discovered I repeated my same like, King Scorpion in the non-annickdote and two like successive podcasts. And I must just talk so much boring shit all the time that you did even notice.

You were just like, oh really? The second time as well. Anyway, thanks a lot. I'm gonna find attention. No, I think I did know. All right, that I was repeating myself. No, I didn't know you were repeating yourself. I knew that you brought up the same idea. Yeah, all right.

But I don't think you had to, you like, re-explained it, did you? I feel like I did. I listened back to the podcast and I was like, that is not acceptable. The important thing is that we're talking about it again. The important thing is that we're talking about it again. The important thing is that I don't know what I'm saying until I listen to the podcast later on.

Here's a place in life where I would like more honesty. And this may be something I've also brought up on the podcast before, so I'm sorry everybody, but this is the greatest hits now, right? I want to have more honesty when I am ordering a coffee. I want honesty between me honesty when I am ordering a coffee. I want honesty between me and the person making a coffee as to whether they genuinely think that their coffee is a good coffee. Because today I bought a coffee. I was like, had no addition for

a thing and afterwards I was like, I don't feel good about the world. I would like a good coffee. And I went to a place that looked good and I ordered the coffee and it was almost not a coffee. Like it didn't seem to have any of the traditional coffee flavors that you associate with coffee in it. And I felt worse. And I wish I just could have said, hey, I'd like a coffee that won't make me feel worse. Do you honestly think that if I'm only going to buy one coffee today, do you honestly think it should be one that's made by you, barista? I feel like they would know if they're honest with themselves. Do you think that they should be more honest with you

when they're handing you the coffee? This is not going to be... This is not going to be satisfying to you. I don't know what you're looking for you the coffee, this is not going to be, this is not going to be satisfying to you. I don't know what you're looking for in this coffee, but I don't think it's going to, look, if they could just give me, if they could assess me, I can be honest, or they can just like make it, look at me, look at my face, drink me in with their eyes, and then say, look, this isn't going to give you what you need. Yeah. Right?

I mean, you know, I think that's a great thing. It's not going to be great for their business. It could be. If they're good at coffee. Well, of course, if they're good at coffee. And it's also, but it's also, it's a good motivator to be good. Like, because otherwise you're just lying all the time. Yeah, they're there.

Selling people this coffee, like it's a coffee. Yeah. Well, we're a good coffee, you know? No, I hear you absolutely. I just... I don't know what the incentive... I mean, like, I think if they already have a good coffee, that's already going to be quite a good selling point for them as well. That's already working. Sure, but for me, as a person going to have my first coffee there, how do I know? Well, you know what they should have.

What should they have? They should just have a coffee already made that everybody can sip from when they're new to the place. Perfect. And they can sip from and then you can go, oh yeah, this is not really my thing. Well, like a pole that coffee is constantly dripping down that we can lick.

Yeah, that would be good. Yeah. I think so, yeah. So like, I'll lick the pole. Yeah, just lick good. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. So like, I'll lick the pole. Yeah just lick the pole so what you think. Yeah. So like, so like one of those chocolate fountains but instead of out of a fountain, it's just like a metal pole. Yeah and it's just dribbling down. Yeah it's like an old basketball ring kind of, or netball ring. Yeah. And just over the top, just kind of dribbles down. Bubbles, bubbles up over the top. Okay, dribbles down the outside.

Now they could be where all the stuff in the tray under the barista machine goes. It's another coffee machine. Great, perfect. They're always got that overflow and that's everything. Bubbles up over the top of this pole, dribbles down the outside. You lick that, okay?

Let me tell you, if you like that, you're gonna love the coffee. Well, maybe like without making it too complicated, maybe that tray could just kind of flow down onto the counter, and you can just kind of lick it out of the trough. The dip, dip a finger in or something. Oh, lick it out of the trough.

Yeah, you're right, lick it out of the trough. I think you could lick it out of the trough. Anybody was just going as new, yeah, yeah, you could look at the trough. I think the only stigma against licking things, like drinking out of a trough like a pig, is that you've got to bend down to do it like a pig. But if the trough was going past you at head height

and you just, you know, look it out, I mean I guess everyone has a different head height. Everyone has the same foot height though, have you noticed that? Well, there could be some stairs in front. Yeah, everyone does have the same foot height. Roll the same height down on their feet. Yeah, see? That's a great saying. Isn't

that good? That's very powerful. I think I put that on my poster. Okay, right. Yeah. We're all the same height down in her feet. Yep. Yeah. You know, we're like a bunch of matchsticks. We're a bunch of, you know, we're a bunch of bits of straw. Yeah. I'll wait waiting to get picked. And one of us, one of us, you know, and down the bottom we're all the same than the bottom. Where all the same down the bottom? On one end we're all the same because on the end that they, you know, the straws are broken out. True. Yeah. But on the other end, the hidden end, you know, that's, I guess that's kind of different to life because really in life you notice how different the ends are, you know how tall and short,

but you never notice how equal we are at the foot level. You see people are two they have their heads in the clouds. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill.

Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Some of them, others have got their heads in the set of the, just like the exhaust clouds. I guess if somebody had their eyeballs upside down, I don't know if this is a condition that you have, but your eyeballs are upside down. No, be true.

So you see the ground as the top. Yeah. Then you would think that everyone was the same height, looking at their feet. Yeah. Then you would think that everyone was the same height, looking at their feet. Right. And then you've got to, for you, look up, which for us is, look down.

No, or, no, for you, you've got to look down, which for us is look up. Yeah. And you see all the heads are at different heights. And you're like, oh wow, everybody's a different height. Yeah, right. Do you also confuse like people's feet for their eyes? Maybe.

Just like, that's why they're always looking at the ground. And do you think that maybe this would be good for a quiet, do you think it's possible for us to turn everybody's eyes upside down? Maybe with glasses and lenses and that sort of thing, but if everybody could just... Lens, it feels too easy. I think maybe if we actually turn the people's eyeballs upside down.

Okay, let's turn everybody's eyeballs upside down. And then they always see the feet first, right? Covered up with shoes so you can't see skin color or anything like that. Men and women wear identical shoes so you can't tell gender, right? And you won't tell gender right and you won't you won't there won't be any prejudice. So like just it's like it's kind of like communism but

just for your feet. Yeah. You know and and if we just were communists you know that's why it's so hard to like imagine introducing communism to a country where you know trying to make everybody equal but but what if you just said a very small part of you will be a communist? Yeah, or we'll just turn your eyes upside down. It's hard to imagine restructuring society, turning society upside down. Yeah, but if we turn your eyeballs upside down. Turn your eyeballs upside down and put on the same pair of shoes as everybody else.

We can even sell it, we can make it sound a bit cooler, we can say something like, flip your papers. Flip your papers in. We're just going to flip your papers. And it'll be a simple process. Hey kids, flip your papers. It'll be a simple process. You'll go into, you know, it won't even need to really be medical training.

Oh, great. Just go to somebody. You just go to somebody, they've done a two week course, they've been given a pair so that I saw, you know, I ball tongs. tongues. Yeah like that and they just kind of go in because I mean the wiring back there behind the eye I imagine would be relatively flexible Right, and so you can just grab hold of the eyeball. It's just got like a good like it. You know It's got a kind of a soft spongy thing. So it's gonna be nice on your eye like that. It'll be it'll be like The thing that you're grabbing the eyeball with I'm all with I have no fingers Like that, it'll be like, the thing that you're grabbing the eyeball with.

So there's no fingers. No, these are the tongues. Oh, the tongue's so tongue-tool. I reckon it'll probably be crock material. Yeah, whatever they make crocks out of it. What do they make crocks not? Yeah, it'll be perfectly for only one toilet. Yeah, you look at that, you like,

I just love to feel that on my eyeball. Yeah, I love to know what it would, that would like, if a hand made of crock material could hold my eyeball like that between his fingers. And then it just turns it around, just changes the vision so that then you realize that everybody's equal. Yeah, that's all it is.

It's crazy the things that you find out that people can do that you wouldn't expect, right, in a medical context. I was listening to Nick Mason being interviewed on Daniel Connell's podcast, taking it easy with Daniel Connell's podcast. I love Daniel Connell, and I really love Nick Mason. Nick Mason from the Planet Broadcasting Network. And he was talking about how he used to be a dental technician and that dentists,

he was in the dentist when they removed somebody's jaw. Like, that doesn't feel like something that would be within the dentist's purview. Wow. Like, I assume it was the lower jaw because the upper jaw is all built into the skull. Really, so they can just take out a person's jaw. They took out a jaw.

I mean, I wanted more detail. And this is where Daniel really let down the interviewing. He's a great interviewer. A great interviewer. But I would have had a follow-up question about, like, what did they put something else in there? Or did they just let all of that... and you'll really let down the interview. He's a great interviewer. A great interviewer. But I would have had a follow-up question about, like, what did they put something else in there? Or did they just let all of that...

Dangle. Dangle, the flap? Did you put them? I mean, this feels like something that we would propose in as a way to get your head to go down inside your chest cavity. Yeah, or like maybe like the day the day rest is chin on sort of like on a little table,

sort of like a boob in a mammogram? Like a boob in a mammogram, you know? I'll tell you what, I felt like a boob in a mammogram. You know what I'm saying? I am under, I am under a lot of pressure at work, you know? I feel like I'm being squeezed from every side and like a boob in a mammogram. If that's not already an expression, they really squish those boobs real thin.

Real thin. Real thin. Yeah, I know. It's one of the few contexts in which the news shows boobs. It's when they squish real thin like that, mammogram. There's a lot of context. Yeah, there's a lot of context in which the news will show like a healthy boob that's not even being suspect of having something wrong. I guess I guess you got a squeeze of boob pretty thin for it to be news.

Yeah, that's the news for you. But you know what? And there's actually almost... I don't think there's a single context in which they'll show a penis on the on the news. I mean, half-themed would get to squeeze it, do you? I imagine if somebody, if they were building a bridge and they were just putting down one of the pavers. Yeah. One of the pavers, like the final paver, and it's like, you know, it's a 10, 15 meter big block of concrete that's just fitting on top of the, on top of

the, you know, those legs that they make for the bridge or whatever. Yeah, I think they call those pavers, whatever. Whatever, the overpass, the overpass, bit of, you know, cement, whatever. And as they lay it down, it's a lot of bridge. They realized some guy's penis is laying on the leg like that. And he was just, I don't know, he was just, he was probably just peeing on top of the paper. Yeah. He's 25 meters up in the air. It's just peeing on top of the paper.

He just flopped his penis out or do a flat surface. He didn't realize, he had headphones and didn't realize that. Oh, no, see, this is why you can't have your headphones in. No, while you're doing insane parkour over construction, bridge construction sites like that. You're an 80 on to a flat pavre. Yeah, flat pavre up at 25 m in the air. Anyway, didn't hear it squished his penis so thin that you think they would show his penis on the news?

I think if it was a glass brick, that they'd lower down onto it, and they had footage maybe from a helicopter from above. So rather it was like one of those, one of those sort of new walking walkways they've got and they've been over the great Grand Canyon or something like that. Exactly, exactly. So same scenario,

same scenario, it's over the Grand Canyon. Over the Grand Canyon. Yeah. And it's a glass paper. So they show that shot from above of the glass paper, this flat dick in between two glass papers. I think there's, I think,

I don't think you could not show this on the news. There is so much going on that makes this absolutely newsworthy. Even without the penis, you know, I think you would get a human interest story out of them building this glass walkway over the Grand Canyon on the most beautiful places on earth. An absolute like, an incredible feat of human engineering to build this glass canter.

The Grand Canyon. And of course, the walkway that allows you to go out, that they're lowering in the final huge glass pavre as you so rightly put it, okay? And even without the element of a man's penis being squished completely flat to the end of the paper, I think this still makes the evening news, but you add in the penis element,

and you cannot show that. Just think how alive you are. That is news. Yeah, and then that goes in a weird place in which, like, you're using a very weird place. These are definitely in a weird place. You know, beautiful place. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. But what do you think would take your breath away more? The view or having your penis squish that thin or even seeing how flat his penis gets.

Because you would be seeing a penis in such a different context, you know. It is, it's width, it would increase dramatically. And what I mean, width is obviously a really, you know, it's a, it's a real selling point for the penis as well, you know. If you can, if you can talk about your width, I imagine that's one of the key parameters. I mean, so it says for penis. You really do. Yeah. I mean, if your width was about you. Oh, and it could be with this guy. Yeah, well that's right. You could wrap himself up and his.

Yeah, he would, it could be like a, like what's that, it's one of those jackets that you wear to kind of cut out the wind. Windbreaker, Parker. Windbreaker, you can use that as a windbreaker. I'm sure you could, yeah. I mean, I think that the downside would be that you would then be feeling all of that wind on your incredibly thin penis.

And I think that's quite a sensitive area. That's true. Yeah, it would be quite sensitive. Yeah, and you would probably feel so chilly. Do you think it would be more painful if he wasn't circumcised. Cause I mean somebody was trying to tell me that, you know, because people who are circumcised don't feel anywhere near as much as people who aren't,

because they cut off a lot of the nerve endings. Really? Is that what it is? It's a nerve ending. I guess the, at the end of the skin of the... I always assumed that it was because the tip of the penis is exposed more. And so is in contact with your underpants and that sort of thing. It's probably all sort of gets stimulated much more. Yeah, maybe that's... Maybe that is...

I think it's just jaded more than anything. You don't think that the... Look, I don't know. But you don't think that a... A four-skin itself has... It's world-weary. The four-skin itself doesn't have any nerve endings. I mean, that's very much. Let's lay it all on the table, I was there. Your circumcised, I am not.

Right. And I don't associate the tip of the four skin as having a lot of my four skin. I don't, I don't think. Like, I mean, like if I was thinking, if I was evolution, now when I say lay it all on the table skin. I don't, I don't, I don't think. Like, I mean, like, if I was thinking, if I was evolution, now when I say lay it all on the table, I obviously don't mean sort of like a boob in a mammogram. Yeah.

I don't mean this huge paper here. Yeah, this big glass paper that I'm just gonna pee on this glass right here. I just feel like from an evolutionary point of view. Yeah. Feels like that skin like that skin, that's your searcherant, that's the one that's supposed to, that's the one that's looking for that stimulation so that the rest of that body can do its work. And then it gets out of the way. That's right. It gets out of the way so that clan can do its work, you know, and maybe. And then it gets out of the way and...

That's right, you know, it gets out of the way so that the... The worker ends. The worker ends can do their job. Yeah, okay, that's a lot to think about and I'm gonna go away and I'm gonna, you know, see if I can get in. I'm gonna get in. I think it is. I think it is.

I think that anti-context. And I think colony is broken up into, you know, it's like termites, They're not all individual. The individual is the colony. You're right. And so the searcher ants, those ones that you just see randomly in your kitchen at first when, you know, before there's a trail, it's just the ones looking for it. I've been seeing some real interesting ants in our house recently. I'm talking big ones and like long legs and like it. Like I'm talking big ones and like long legs and like a real range of ants. Yeah. Well those are the four skins. Yeah. Right? And the ones that come in the trail later, those are your worker ants. Yeah. That's your, that's when the main game arrives. Okay. Is there anything, and I'm sorry to make it so penicy, but is there anything in this

man and the fact that he now has such a wide penis and such a long penis trying to sell that as like a, you know, an appealing thing when what it really lacks is it is it it any height? Sure, I think, I think this is how this sketch opens. Right? Sketch opens, it's a woman getting a mammogram on the news. Yeah, correct. Yes. Voice over, you know, or news reporter kind of says, this is something that you see all the time.

No, it's not news reporter. It's just a person who made the videos. So they go, this is a woman getting a mammogram, and it's one of the few times you'll ever see a boob on the news. On the news. Maybe it's even a man's rights group. Yeah.

I would love, okay, I love this in the context of men's rights, talking about the University of penis on the news, trying to find out how thin they've got to squish your penis together. You know, that said, you know, they are squishy, get pretty thin, you know, and so how thin does a penis have to get in order to appear on the news? Well, Michael Kruger. Michael Kruger, the formal head of the Victoria Liberal Party, was that? Was that the grand Canyon doing some parkour or the construction sites? Look, I mean the Liberals are going to do whatever

they can at this stage to try and you know change the narrative of the party, particularly in Victoria, where they're in such a dull dream. So I can see why he would be doing that. And so maybe then they go and talk to this guy who got this, but they still didn't show his penis. And they're like, well, we're going to show you, you know, or whatever, we're going to talk about where you were disappointed they didn't show it. And then we can get into the stuff about how we talked about what it means.

Or it could just be an MRA group who are doing experiments. You know, they keep squishing their penises, they take photos, and they bring the footage to the news room. And they're like, why won't you show this on the news? And then maybe through a process of evolution, they're trying to figure out exactly how, how to make a penis newsworthy. Right? Well, otherwise they're going to die out. Well, they could, they could, you know, maybe they think that's,

that's part of the reason why men are getting, you know, that, you know, like they, they think that what was it, they think that men are going to be bred out and bred out, you know, the earth and the earth. So, whatever it is. And so part, they think part of it is that because we're only showing female parts, even that we're probably showing male nipples on the news all the time, wall-to-wall male nipples on the news all the time. Wal-the-Wall male nipples. Anyway.

That's something, isn't it? There's structure there, some sort. Would you think a good way to get on television would be to, or maybe like as a way to get until audition would be to or maybe like as a way to get a more Australian drama on TV or something like that as we could go and we could actually stage a show just sort of behind that window where they do the the morning shows. You know they get that window out onto the street or whatever we can go down there and we can maybe if we could we we write a you know six-part hour long drama we and we perform it all there, out there on the streets. Yeah, I think we would have to get all the scenes done

in about each scene would have to be sort of no more than a couple of minutes. That's healthy for right, right? Yeah, discipline, you know, to get that stuff out. And so do one hour thing. So one hour and two-minute segments. So it would be like a 30-piece. I guess it's a long-term project.

But I mean, and it all has to be done through mine. Yeah, I think that's also... But I think Andy, I love the ambition of this project. Mmm. And I'm 98% on board. Mmm. The only problem is having to go to Sydney for it. Yeah.

And I don't know if any of them actually do that window thing anymore. Do they still do that window thing? They'll stop us like it's a liability. Yeah, it feels like it's a liability. Yeah, it's the feeling, it's a real way of getting people writing swear words and things like that. Oh, you can just close the curtains, can't they? I don't think they can.

No? No, I think they took an oath. We took an oath! Have we got five sketch ideas? How was it? I think so, yeah, look, before we go on to the other thing, I just wanted to give context to this role, the same height at our our feet. I wish you would any of these Facebook things, these are like it's

goal cast. I've blocked so many things on Facebook now that like it's weird. I got to this point where like it wasn't just things that annoyed me that was starting to annoy me. It was things that I liked was starting to annoy me on Facebook. The onion? The onion. I don't know if I blocked the onion, but like any sort of thing that was like positive news stories

is like I can't watch any of this stuff. It's really winding me up. Mm. Anyway, so I think I might have got a gold cast. Gold cast is one of these ones where they've basically got all these people from these, look, I don't actually know what it is, but this is what I've deduced is that it is, is that they've got all these people from all these, sort of, you know, these self-help, kind of, this self-help world, all these people are trying to be motivational speakers and stuff

like that. And then they, you know, it's just them doing short sets. You know, and but then it's kind of got an aesthetic to it. A sense exactly like something I would have blocked. Oh, absolutely. And but I'm amazed that this hasn't actually been parodyed as much or whatever. I haven't really seen it, but it's always somebody who seems like, you know, just a general gist of them, they kind of look like they've got their shit together

But then they're you know, then they're explaining something that really makes sense to you If you can just if you just think about it that way. Yeah, if you go well, when you think about it We're all the same height at her feet you know, and so maybe if you just metaphorically flip your eyeballs for a second and look to everybody where the feet was the top. Yeah, stop looking at how high up your head goes and look at how low down your feet are and you see they were all the same and we're all touching the same ground. That's right. And who cares about whose head gets wet first when it's raining?

We are all walking through the same puddle. Exactly. Or when someone must have walked in the ground. Yeah, or that isn't wet. But if it's a flooded area. If it's a flooded area. We're all walking through the same puddle. That puddle.

That puddle is our town. Ankle height is the same for everybody. You know, someone's thinking about it. Ankle height might not be the same for everybody. It's the same for everybody. Andy. Okay, we got three words from Patreon supporter Andy. Sam Shaw.

Thank you, Sam. Thanks, Sam. I wonder whether it's Samuel Shaw. Thank you, Sam. Thanks, Sam. I, I, I wonder whether it's Samuel Shaw? I'd like, I'd like that. Samuel Shaw is very fun to say. Mm, Samuel Shaw. He sounds like the start of a A.A. Miln poem or something like that. Mm, Miln.

Samuel Shaw was closing a door, you know? I couldn't stop. Before he went through the drawer. He cared not for nothing. You know, I couldn't stop. Before he went through the draw, he cared not for nothing. Below him was walking. The legs of a man who has... crows.

Yeah, that's it. That's what I was going to say, so... Samuel Shaw had hair on his elbows never before were they waxed. He jacked off a cow and he peeled down and hair. And before that he played on his sass. Well, that one wasn't actually, it actually caught my quite well. Crafty young satin was a hell of a gun. Hell of a man, surely. Billowings smoke from his pores.

But Jesus looked down upon old shawies, no, but he said, well, shaw man, you're close. Oh no, you're closed. Oh no, you wrote it again. No. No. Anyway, I'm from a lot of his poetry. Do you want to know what Sam's? Why does it hurt so much Andy? It feels like there are rhymes that are there to be had.

There are fruits listening, beautiful ripe fruits dangling from bows at easy picking height. And you are climbing to the top of the tree to need a nest full of dead baby birds, Alasdair. That's how it feels. I think that's no one's ever described my work so well. There was so much easy stuff you could have been doing. And you chose something that was very difficult, and doesn't seem rewarding for anybody. But there's an achievement. There is an achievement. There's a double achievement, really.

It's like we talked about with Everest. Who can climb up to the top of a mountain that everybody wants to climb up to the top of? Doesn't sound that good to me. Climb up to the top of a mountain that everybody wants to climb up to the top of. Doesn't sound that good to me. Climb up to the top of a mountain that nobody cares about. Exactly, one with your eyes closed, so you can't even see the view. The second lowest mountain.

Yeah. The second lowest. Wow. So it's not even, it's not the lowest because there's almost an achievement. Yeah. All right, 11th lowest. Perfect.

Look at that. I want to know what is the top 10. I do want to know what is the lowest mountain in the world. Somebody tweeted, not about this, but anything. Do we have a lot of mountaineers or mountain? Or what's like a person who studies mountains? Hmm. Mountain area.

Good point. It's a person who eats mountains. Mountain. Mountain. Stuck in an email so that you can Bing Andy's pocket and tell us if you've ever eaten a mountain. Bing my pocket. What do you think is the most of a mountain that somebody's eaten? Do you think I guess it would be somebody who's cultivated things and they've eaten a mountain

through capsicums or whatever? Yeah, it would be some shit work around like that I don't want to say I want to say a man eating mount. I want how it fist falls of rock and dirt. You know That's what I it's what I expect when I click on the video Look how much of this mountain this man is eaten. I don't want him to sit in sitting down to a feast of capsicums It's absolutely a great video. This is exactly the kind of shit people would watch. Yeah. Right. This is the kind of thing you would block, right?

But it's, it's so inspiring. It's such good news. It's like, it's interesting. It involves an old man and like, people love that shit. I would like, oh, he's 95. His wife died six months ago. And since then, he's dedicated himself to eating this mouth He's been doing for the last 65 years. Oh wow. He's just eating a spoonful of them every day

just Just to see you know when at first he didn't like it now It's like you know he feels weird if he doesn't do it. So then some days he gorges when he's emotional eating he eats you and more and You know you could tell on October was a big year for me because, you know, you could tell I was stressed because I really munched my way through a lot of scree. I, I, I, scree's a part of rock. Scree is like a sort of, yeah, rock slide,

like open, rocky area. Yeah. It's really good. I was trying to search my brain for like like what would be a part of a mountain, like a cliff face or a... Sure. Like what's like an overhanging rock, you know, what we want to call that? An overhang.

Yeah, great. Yeah. I mean, scream kind of almost fits the... Well, that's what I was saying. You probably achieved it, Andy. I wasn't trying to say that you were wrong and said scream, I wasn't trying to say that you were wrong in since I was great, but I was trying to say that I was trying to give you the parameters of what my search room was.

Sure, sure, sure. Trying to pull up. I'm just going to write down man eats mountain. Man eats mountain. Yep. Sure. Maybe he's not even the man who's eating the most amount of mountain. Because when some American guy, he's not even a big fat guy.

He's just a college guy who got into competitive eating really on and then just found out that some guy was eating a mountain and then just wanted to beat him at was eating a mountain. Mm-hmm. And then just wanted to beat him at that eating how much mountain he'd eaten. And then he just found some, you know, he found the sister mountain to that guy's mountain. Yeah, but I don't, I'm gonna find it hard to root for that guy, you know, this Johnny come lately. He's got all this white privilege

that makes it so much easier for him to eat mountains than it is for this guy I know he's the he's the he's the barbecue sauce guy from calm. Yeah The king of cougt. Yeah, he's later you'll find out that he's actually just been You know he's pretending to eat the mountain he puts it in his pocket is actually just yeah, he's just in past We shouldn't we shouldn't suspect it because all the videos that he said in the meeting matter all in profile. All right, Man Eating Mountain, inspirational video.

But also I think the expose in which we find out that the man who claimed to have eaten heaps of mountain turns out didn't eat. Looks like we have a video series Andy. We've got what is fast becoming a series of videos. Quite a dramatic series. I had a thought about Edmund Hillary and I'm sure somebody's made this as some kind of joke and I'm not saying it's a well-formed joke now, but he climbed to the top of Mount Everest. He was also his job was a beekeeper.

Yeah. He was like an apeurist. Yeah, right. Damn, dirty apeurist. He... That's great. Sweet it. Thanks.

Damn, dirty apeurist. They could have put that in the movie, the Wicker Man, when they pour all those bees, they're holding Nicholas Cage down, they pour all those bees on his head. I mean, look, all you need, just get what's his name? What's the real guy who did it? Chalton Heston. Chalton Heston and put him next to a beekeeper. He got yourself a 55 million,,000 retweets minimum.

That's a hard minimum. That's a hard minimum. Yeah, I think it sounds to me like he just wanted to get as far away as possible from bees. Right. I think he just hated bees. People asked him why did you climb Everest? And he said because it was there. Well, he said that. Yeah, it was him. I really?

And his real answer was, fucking bees. Bees, mate. No, can I have another run at it? Because it was there. Yeah, that sounds better. But really, it was the fucking bees. And you can see in that sentence,

he didn't even use the letter B. Yeah. I'll except for because. That's not what I'm talking about. Actually it starts with B. Oh, B calls. B calls. That's the secret message in that expression.

B calls. Honestly, that was such a great example of you UV get idiot that was like that's classic me that is classic you that's up there with Three apps or whatever about fungus. I can't remember what it was you said boy Boy, it's it's it's it's worth it just for those Andy this is why I do the podcast yeah we can I can reveal my true self we got it we're gonna get through this Samuel shows oh we haven't ever even got these words no we haven't used his word so we we can't even claim any of these stuff was. I mean we said his name. Yeah, it was pretty inspired. Yeah.

It could be Samwise. Just great about. Anyway, Sam's show. He's almost got two Sam's in his name as well. His show. SHAW's an upside on him. Hey, and sure, which by the way, if we have our Y, that'll be XAW. Wait, oh yeah, exactly. XAW, which, but then that would remove the double-sam.

Yeah. Because he's got like a, a sort of like a two-thirds Sam, the right way up, and then a one-third Sam upside down. Yeah, let's go down. And H is basically an invisible letter. It is. It's the audio equivalent of glass. H, if you would name any letter,

it probably looks like the one that's just there for scaffolding. It even looks like a bit of scaffolding. It's just a structural thing to stop the S rolling over. Yeah. You know, you're just like a little bookend, you can lean the S up again. So the S is an unstable point of equilibrium.

I don't think they thought about this when they were designing the letters. And not another one where X is very good, by the way, as a brace. Absolutely stable. But the S, yeah, that's tipping over. Yeah, S and 5, they're not great. No, 5's worse, yeah, if 5's a disaster. Oh, absolutely. 5 looks like it was designed to go up the other way. Yeah, that would in five, they're not great. No, five's worse, yeah, it fives a disaster.

Oh, absolutely. Five looks like it was designed to go up the other way. Yeah, it's getting a trouble. What does that phone look like upside down? You know, it's got a nice flat bottom there. But then it looks like a two. It does look a bit like a two, I suppose that's the problem. Yeah, especially in a digital calculator

that wouldn't, that wouldn't read. Now, you wouldn't get away with that. You wouldn't get away with that. You wouldn't get away with that. Alright. The digital calculator people are going to be all over you. No, you can't do that. You can't turn their five upside down. So, two like to turn the five upside down. Do you think, do you think we could get this

up? We could get this up, we took it to the U.N. or something like that. Yeah, we took it to the five upside out. that. Yeah, we're turning it to the five upside out. Do you think we could successfully get the five turned upside out before we could get any meaningful action or climate change? Like it feels so much more achievable. Yeah. We get the whole world to unite, too, on this cause of late. You know, we've got to do this.

And you know, there's people championing the streets and we turn the five upside down and kids have a day off school and everyone's cheering. We're all gathered around the TV to watch them turn the five upside down, the big five that they have in Paris at the Institute of Numbers. They keep it in the glass. They keep all the fives. We keep the one big five, And everyone is clapping and sailors and kissing in the streets, that kind of stuff. Yeah, I think we could get that up

before climate change is a reality. And it would really take our minds off it as well. Get us a big win. This is it, we just need a few big, easy wins. Get our confidence up so that we can tackle these other things. The only people who are really standing in our way is those digital calculators. Those digital calculators are the calculated fuckets.

But I think that those digital calculators are on the way out anyway. It's all graphics calculators now. Yeah, right. And they use regular hand script kind of. I think they have more detailed screens, so you've got the little dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. So you've got fonts. Yeah, cool. That's nice. I think they have they have more detailed screens, so you got the little dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot Sam Wollowwise is a word. You ready for them? This is the cover of real full of torture for me.

Yeah, that's great. Why don't you one follow me or whatever block me? Yeah. Plants are silly. Plants are silly. Yeah. I mean, you know, I had hard pressed to disagree with you there. Get a fixed number of appendages. Limbs. Get a fixed number of limbs. You can just throw

as many as you want. That I'm care to do. I don't give a shit. But then some of them, they'll grow flour and then they'll just never grow flour again. I think orchids are a bit like that. I don't know. We had orchids they didn't grow the flour back. Oh really? Our orchids just lost its flowers. And I was just, I was't know. We had orchids. They didn't grow the flower back. Oh really our orchids just lost its flowers And I was just I was gonna be in conversation with Cali yesterday We'll be like it will it will grow another one. Yeah, well that's not what are we keeping those fucking leaves around for? Even these stems. Yeah, yes I don't know but but we kept it for probably a year and I went

Those sorry buddy. Yeah, I don't know if it's like one of those like, you know, that rotten meat flower that comes back every 10 years or whatever, maybe it does. Yeah, 10 years time. Would you keep the orchard if you knew it was coming up? Look, I'm struggling to keep a standard plant alive for, you know, it's the three months after I get given it for my birthday, you know. Your birthday's coming up though.

Coming up. Anyway, that's um What I was gonna say was is there what is like the the funniest like plant like we is there a Is there sort of a plant that's naturally fun? They use this humor to attract? The spread it's seed I don't see. Yeah, like a sort of a stand up plan. Yeah, I mean, I guess there's those ones that sort of do impersonations, right? But do you consider that to be comedy? Well, you know, like those ones that look like a bee or like a wasp or whatever.

Yeah. And they're all kids again, a lot of the time out, and they got those fancy flowers. So they get bees to come in and sort of sort of don't have sex with them. Like birds or something like that. It's a prank flower. It's prank. Yeah, it's prank. Pranks. Yeah, I mean, they're like, are they getting bees to have sex with them? Yeah. Do you think they laugh when they like

they like, like what happens they go? Well, they stick, then they stick some pollen on them, which is, that's a classic prank thing to do, sort of throwing flower over someone. That's not that, isn't it? You know, that's a classic prank. Absolutely. So it's just a, look, it's a biolid, it's like a biologist, it's your, you know, it's your classic nature documentary, but instead of, you know, you know, looking at marmots

that live underground or whatever, the nature's funniest plants. Although they discover that plants can laugh, you know, they're listening really closely or something, they find that this is a... They've got a sense of humor. We could start with, you know, plants that use humor to spread their seed, for example, pollen or whatever they're like that, and then keep progressing onto the ones, and then you find out that your plants are actually listening to you and laughing at you. Yeah, I think the different types of humor that different plants use would be pretty good.

Because obviously the prank one is like a pretty low level, but then we get up to find some plants that do real confessional sort of stuff. Well, there's this one, there's some gum trees that are at near where parents place. Sort of, it's actually fairly far, but it's a good bit of walking anyway. And there's these gum trees that their branches have kind of curled, they curled on towards the ground. And then it looks like they punched the ground. And they go back up again.

And then they kind of, they just kind of take off, but then they kind of ride along the ground, go up and down a little bit like a wave, but what a funny, funny tree. It's a funny, that's a tree with a good sense of humor. Yeah, or a terrible sense of direction. Yeah, but how much time would that have taken? Like, yeah, I mean, I don't have that time

to dedicate to my comedy. It's a commitment to a bit. Yeah. That's one bit that it does. I look at me, I'm, I don't have that tongue to dedicate to my comedy. It's a commitment to a bit. Yeah. That's the one that's one bit that it does. Hey, look at me, I'm being a snake. I've got all the way around. Oh, exactly. I do good, good, good, good.

I'm a snake. I'm being like a dumb tree. It doesn't know how to get to the sky. I'm going the opposite direction. Yeah. Look, I think. It's sort of like an anti-tree. It's just like a...

Yeah, I mean, I find that the funniest kind of, very often the simplest things that make me laugh the most are people being so stupid that it, like, it becomes very creative. You know, if you're finding a, or if it feels like I'm describing you in any way else, they're gonna be finding a way to be dumb that seems like it requires more work than just doing, I'm just talking about you again.

No, yeah, yeah. But I find you very funny. Well, thank you very much and I'm glad that it's, it's the illusion. It's just I they just kicked in recently by the way. It was probably only around, if I say 162, that I got a single smile out of this podcast. I have what you didn't know. I want you to know that it's the illusion of me doing work in being stupid. That's always been my aim. Yeah.

But I've only recently achieved it. That's how stupid I really am. I haven't been able to do it. That's great, though. Making strides. Yeah, great strides. I'm going to take you through our schedule. Thanks Samuel Schill. Thanks for supporting us on Patreon. Thanks for your three words.

Yeah, thank you. Sorry, it took us so long. Well, we came up with another two sketch ideas on the way. Yeah. It's both so. We got Christmas with the cranks. Just Christmas with the crank. Yeah, with the crank. Sorry. Christmas with the crank. Yeah, with the crank.

So, Christmas with the crank. Did that just come off the word crank when we were talking about, anyway, it doesn't matter. I came up with two months, fucking audio systems to do with strings and wires and bells in your house. Yeah, and then we got crank speed. That's it, we're currently moving. This is the one where Keanu Reeves is riding on Jason's state to the back and he has to keep going

a certain speed and rest at least keep working. Yeah. Oh, that's what they could, no, no, everyone. It's got to be GPS based, I think. Yeah, it's got to be GPS. So that treadmill idea won't work unless they do it in a truck. Yeah. You can kind of keep running. But then what would be the point? So that treadmill idea won't work unless they do it in a truck. You can kind of keep running.

But then what would be the point? What sort of take a dangle? They could lift Keanu up and roll. And Keanu could be hanging off the roof of the truck. Yeah. I guess that's something. Anyway, this is all be really fun to explore on the end of the movie. Or Keanu could be lifted up and then he could hold up Jason Statham for a while.

That is Muscle's race while his legs kind of keep going. But they're in the... They're dangling. In a truck dangling on the inside. And he's lifted him up just to kind of give his back his poor back. There's got to be pressure sensors in Keanu's feet though to make sure that he's not carrying any weight. I bet that... The worst thing I would think of if I was doing this.

But your idea was that he's just jumped on and he's like, no, you're in this. You're just going to stay on. Yeah, well, you're right. How would they get the senses into his feet? Shoot them on with some kind of glue. Unless they caught Keanu first and then they shoot him onto Jason's there But they lower him on

He's out cold he comes to like sort of jostling around and he hears this panting and his eyes slowly open And he has to have all of this explained to him by Jason Statham who who's, you know, already been running for 12 miles and is full of hot dogs. This is how the movie opens. Yeah. It's just Jason Statham. It's dark. We hear the panty. And the grunt.

I love it when you're dropped into the middle of the action. You know, and you learn about these things as time goes on. It'll be crazy. It's got an element of that movie, phone booth to it? Yeah, single location, but this is like, instead of single location, it's roughly 500 locations. Yeah, it's multiple locations. Unless he was just running in a circle, he could just go to a track and feel. Hmm.

Yeah, good. No, he has to run somewhere new that he's never seen before. And it's Christmas. It's Christmas with the crank. Yep. All right, then we got a sheep lover who tries to save face by becoming a war hero. Yeah. He's like, look, this is how I'm going to...

This is the only way I can, you know, redeem redeem myself pull my name out of the dirt By actually getting into the trenches. I wonder if yeah, I mean, I think he could he could become one of the greatest people who's ever lived you know they Cure all sorts of diseases, you know, they achieve incredible peace sorts of diseases, you know, they achieve incredible peace, progress in all sorts of water and areas. Imagine even that it's not enough for us. We're not, yeah, no, for us, you just, you know, yeah, if sex was one sheet,

maybe someone's gonna do, I didn't have sex with one sheet, though, he had sex with like 120 or something. Yeah, right, and is there a video for each one? Because it would only really last, I think if there was a video. And YouTube will choose to take them there. He sure didn't have it.

Yeah, no, it slipped through the hub. The slipped through the filter. The filter? Yeah, it apparently didn't violate the YouTube's terms of service. All right, we're all the same height at our feet. So we try to flip everybody's eyeballs. So painful. Yeah, flip them bowls.

Yeah, it's gonna be a good on goal, Kath, I think. Then we got the, trying to get a penis shown on the news. This is in the MRA, men's rights activists. But this is really more, you know, definitely the story about one man who is probably the men's best chance of getting a penis shown on the news with how flat it got after he dropped under the... If we can't get this penis onto the news, we may never. They've just got their ear to the ground always listening for, you know, like they've got,

they've just listening to, you know, they've got their ear to the ground, their penis to the pavre. Yeah, they're just, you know, they're trawling Twitter for any kind of, you know, citizens news to see if they can, oh for sure, get something they can get on the MSM. Do you ever use that acronym? MSM? Never do. Never do. Then we got a man eating a mountain inspirational video.

Just a man who's been eating a mountain, he's eating the most amount of mountain that he's not dead anyone. No, it turns out he didn't really eat it. What? Yeah, because he was pretending to put it into his mouth. No, no, that's the other guy. Oh, sorry, Alistair.

This guy really has been the old guy. The guy that we love, the one that's the other guy. Oh, sorry, Alistair. This guy really has been the old guy the guy that we love the one who's the genuinely like he's just been doing it for a long time 65 years over time, but he's made huge you know, he's made a huge achievement. It seems like less than this other guy's done in three years But we find out this other guy's a fraud. Yeah, he's a fraud. And then we find out that the other guy is a fraud as well. They're all frauds. Everything you believe in is all right. Well maybe we find out that he's sex with she. See? See, there's a twist.

You could have a huge achievement like that. Isn't it crazy you could have a huge achievement like having eaten the better part of a mountain? What in the javement? What a huge achievement. And not as capsicums. Not as capsicums like some trick. Anybody could eat endless capsicums. Oh, this guy's eating a bunch of capsicums. No thanks. Endless caps.

Oh, this guy's eating a budget capsicum's no thanks. Yeah, click switch it off That was been clicking away as opposed to clicking on So hard to eat a lot of a mountain through doing that because most of the matter of a vegetable We know rather than the, rather than the dirt. Well, the air and the water. The campaign to turn the number five upside down before, we fixed climate change. Just change it before meaningful action on climate change could be done. And then also.

It's around on the board. We've got the nature documentary on the funniest plants. Yeah. Great. What a breathtaking range of sketches. It was a real range. I mean it's two inspirational ones but I guess even within that there's a lot of variety. We are yawning way too much. We got to it. You know, so thank you everybody for tuning in, you know, your podcast receivers.

You've done such a good job. This was all done with bells. Gathered around the bell. We... Did we even talk about this on this podcast? I can't remember. I can't remember. This one or some other one that we attempted. I'm really sorry if... We call back to things that we never talked about. I mean, it must be if we talk about Christmas with the great... It's gonna be! If crank UC then bells there be. If crank you see, then bells there be. If a crank on your pad is something you notice, open up your mouth and you will have inside you a new distraction. Oh, that's not what's open for action? And, yeah, these podcasts are getting longer as well. You're getting longer, Al.

And we keep adding segments like the George Band Names segment. Anyway, because we're recording these in advance, and we haven't had any more emailed in, so I don't have everything else to reveal this episode. So if you're tuning in just for the George Band Names segment, sorry, you'll have to wait a couple of weeks. But if you're... If you're waiting, if you want to review us on iTunes, that's a wonderful thing. It's trying to do while you're white for the George Band Nymed Segment.

If anybody ever wants to support us on Patreon, that isn't a thing that is available to you. You can go to patreon.com slash 2 in tank and you can give us a little bit of money or you can give us three dollars and that gives you the Kings Eerl as you send in three words that will come up with a sketch or you can send in eight dollars and it gives you access to the two extra episodes per month. Damn, straight. And so also. I'm Matt, stupid old Andy.

And I'm at Alistair TV and we're at Two In Tech and we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. You. Growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu

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