Two In The Think Tank - 168 - "WIN-A-FRED"

Episode Date: January 29, 2019

Social Plant, Comic with Most Potential, Pisitive Rodeo, WAF, Do You Wing?, Olympish, The Pity Laugh TourCheck out friend of the pod Brian's sweet new podcast: "*While You Were Talking (*Here's What I Wast Thinking About)"Don't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag.Thanks for all the band names! Keep emailing them to [e-mail] you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereThe last thanks left in the wild to George for producing this ep Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Bump, bump, bump, bump. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, of the podcast is I am Andy and I am Alex to George William Trumblay Virgil and you're listening to tune the think tank the podcast where we come up with five sketch I did and I'm Andy and I'm Oh, sir, I don't know. Do we do the podcast where we come up five sketch ideas already? Yeah We come up with you just said it that I bloody mindedly introduced myself again and I you know And we we fall into the rhythms, they're so natural. But we can just play with rhythms of speech. People aren't interested in words anymore in concepts and that sort of thing.

It's about rhythms, it's about highs and lows, it's about modulating a sort of a vibe. Feeling good, feeling bad. It's all about feeling good and feeling bad. Feeling tense, feeling release. Tension release. This is what I like to do with my comedy show. It's gonna mess in everything up. I'm messing everything up.

I do release straight up the top. Right? And then the rest is all tension. Mm-hmm, that's good. One big release at the top. Huge release. Yeah, and then just I slowly build the tension. And then it ends.

Oh, that's good. The end is in a way. It's own added tension. Added tension because I don't tell anybody that it's good. That's right. And the end is in a way, it's own added tension. Added tension because I don't tell anybody that it's ended, right? That's so good. Yeah. I keep going, but the show ends, right?

And then people are like, they don't know what's happening. I think it would be good if you wanted to tension stay high. Yes. I followed them home. You go to back to their cars, maybe still doing comedy. Maybe you hurt yourself, right?

And the last minute, I love it. You kind of like you stub your toe or something like that. And it's like, ah, it's really bleeding. Yeah. Ah, I like that. And you go, excuse me for just one moment. And then you go, I'm gonna go get something to this.

I go, I said, and then I never come back. And back. I love this and by the way the tension has been building for 45 minutes And then I start to bleed quite a bit. So it's all tension. Yeah blood I mean I guess you kind of need to get your head. I do need to hit my head tonight On I'm I'm I'm getting to some real graphic description of something. And then you come up, you hit your head on one of the cradging down, I come up, maybe hit my head just on the mic stand or something. Maybe earlier in the show, I've complained about the mic stand. I need to be on something that looks rigid. Yeah, well, I've complained about how rigid the mic stand is. That's good. There you you go Oh, man, I watched this show last night and maybe there's something in this you write what she showed last night

How rigid were the mic stand? Oh, they didn't look rigid, right? But it was it was a sort of a stand-up show a lot of it was on it was playing on the air Right wait wait what what what what do you mean like it was a stand-up show? Playing on the air. what is that mean? On the air on TV. It was on live TV? Wasn't live TV. Was it on broadcast TV?

Was on broadcast TV. You were watching broadcast TV. Yeah, I just turned on broadcast TV. And they were playing stand-up? Yeah, they were playing a guy who's basically as big as you can get in this country. Okay, this is incredible. It was Adam Hills. Oh, okay, yeah, Adam Hillsy Hills, yep, Okay, this is incredible. It was Adam Hills. Okay, yeah, Adam Hills

Hills, yep, yep, yep. But he was clearly, you know, the clearly there was lots of love in the road. The crowd interaction that was built into the show. Yeah. But to, and by that, what do you mean? Like as in, like he's talking to people in the crowd and he's getting them to say in their language, the other language that they speak, something to make it sound sexy. Right? Anyway, the important thing is, is that on numerous occasions, he, and I don't doubt that I'm, look, I'm pretty sure I'm not misreading this. Yeah.

To give it the sense of spontaneity, he kept going, I don't know what I'm going to do next. Hmm, I don't know what I'm going to do next. And then he would go into some big elaborate thing with the people again. And then he would go, hmm, I don't know what I'm going to do next, and then do another thing that was clearly a prepropared bit. Yeah.

But I guess that's life, isn't it? Yeah, that's everything. You know, you, you, you, you don't know what you're going to do next, because you could, you know, take a knife and stab yourself in the head, you know? I guess you could. So maybe it's like, I don't know what I'm going to do next. And then in his head he goes, I'll just do that bit that I prepared. I'll do the prepared bit.

There's always another option. Because he goes, could I slam my head in the doorway? Now I'll do the prepared bit. Oh yeah. The thing that I made it seem like this big set piece and then, because then it's like, you know, after it goes through all the people in the crowd, get them to say things, make them sound sexy. And he goes, oh, I don't know what I'll do next.

I know. And then he'd get two people up on stage and get them to act out a point scene where they have to say things and make it sound sexy. Yeah. Anyway, it was one of the best shows I've ever seen. And I highly recommend it. And he's here tonight.

He's our guest today. I'm sorry, I don't even know why I did this. I mentioned this now. Alistair, it's important and I'm glad you brought it up. You know, I didn't know what I was going to do next even though I'm sure I really prepared to say that all this now. Alice there, it's important, and I'm glad you brought it up. I didn't know what I was gonna do next, even though I'm sure I really prepared to say that on this podcast. All that stuff, yeah.

That was all in you building. You never sketch idea in any of this, Andy. And this thing, if someone who just builds and builds and builds builds tension. Yeah, or somebody who pretends like they don't know what they're doing. Yeah. To make their prepared thing seem more special.

Well, I like the idea of the fake spontaneity of things that people do in stand-up comedy. I don't know if they do that in any other professions, but I like the idea of that being inserted into something else, you know, or you know somebody who's got a plant in the audience, maybe at someone at a tech expo or something like that who does all, they're a CEO who has all the little tricks of the trade of stand-up comedy, but they just do presentations of their company's new wireless bath thermometer, you know. But I never was very excited by the way about the wireless bath thermometer. So there's a bath thermometer that doesn't have a wire.

Alas, you're 100% understanding the concept. But I know I know why you're laughing at the idea because you're featuring a thermometer that's not supposed to have concentrate. But I know why you're laughing at the idea because you're featuring a thermometer that's not supposed to have wires. But the wireless one that I was talking about was one that would have had wires. So it's not what you're saying. No, no, no, no.

It's not stupid in the way that you're saying it's stupid. Okay, because the one that I'm thinking of is one where the thing that I said makes it doesn't say. No, you're right. And that's the thing. That's the thing we both need to realize about ourselves and we've discussed this before. Yes. That if you're picturing something silly in your head after I've said something, well, that's not the thing I meant. Yeah, I meant a better thing. I meant the thing that is not... where the laughter isn't at my expense, but with me. With me and even louder than what it's getting now.

Yeah, so I guess it's, but he's, but I mean, that's still kind of a performance in a way, that guy. Is there a scenario in which you would want? What about, what about it's just, what, now I'm laughing at my own ideas. So you can tell I think it's gonna be good.

With you or at you? Well, I'm laughing at myself. Absolutely. But it is someone who does this in, in day to day life. Correct. Okay, telling anecdotes and that sort of thing, they're not a performer in any way. Yeah.

But they are somebody who likes to think of themselves as, you know, the life of a party or like, you know, a good conversation list. And then people start to realize that they, like, they are bringing plants, they have plants in conversations, just, you know, at a party in a conversation circle. There's, there's always one or two people who, like, later on, people like, like, I had chipped you doing that thing Do you know him? I don't know him Yeah, so they're they're he's bringing along actors to like Feed lines into his story or I like no whatever is his manipulative in the manipulating scenarios

He gets somebody to wear a particular hat that he can make fun of yeah, and he could even do it You know a great hat you look like what what what is it? The fourth of July That's good. I mean he could do that You know even when he's buying something that like the 7-Eleven yeah Get somebody to come and look at chocolate bars or either compliment him or or just great. This is how insecure he is Hey, you're so funny, man. That was really funny.

Did you come up with that? I was talking to you, had the way that you insulted that guy's stranger's hat. I mean, that's the way that it could definitely backfire. Yeah. Because he's like him and this other guy have come up with this routine. Yeah. Or he's come up with it and then he's got this,'s made his friend tag along but then at some point people are like actually

you're being quite mean to that guy. I don't think it's his friend I think it's I think it's just a it's just a commercial relationship he did auditions or something. Yeah right he's hired people off of like Craigslist or Craigslist star now. Star now. Great so it's an actor. Could be an actor. Could be an actor. Yeah. Or an extra. Could be quite a famous actor.

Could be one of the Hollywood eyeless celebrities. Could it be who's the guy in, um, Richard E. Grant? Could it be Richard E. Grant? Who's the guy in Richard E. Grant? I know. I know. I know. I know the guy in Richard. I guess what I want to,. I don't know. I guess what the A stands for Eric.

Maybe it's Eric. Oh, Evelyn. Evelyn. Evelyn can be a man. He seems like a guy whose middle name would be Evelyn. Yeah. He seems lovely. He does seem lovely, doesn't he?

Yeah. A little bit crazy as well. That's what I like. He sees those eyes. I like that in a person. Yeah, those eyes and that smile. And the rest of his face as well And his body. And the great way he carries himself. Yeah, and of course you can't just count the things that he says as well

Contribute to another and I guess the things that he does things that he does Definitely, I shouldn't have left those out. I'm glad you mentioned the things that he does but also You know, and the way he makes me feel. And then there's, I guess, the things that other people say about him and how he's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also he came into my house the other day, he said, shouted through the letterbox, I'm going to mo your lawn, can't. Right?

And I came out. I'm going to mo your lawn cut. Yeah. Was he directing his own lines? your lawn cut right and I came out I'm gonna move your lawn cut yeah was he directing his own lines I'm gonna mo your line I mean I'm gonna mo your own I'm gonna mo your lawn no I think if someone said I'm gonna bow your line that's when you cut cut yeah. You said line. The line isn't line. What? How can the line not be line?

The line is line. The line isn't line. Oh, look. There was something. There was something there. There was something there. There was something there. There was something there.

There was something there. There was something there. And the fact that you would say there is is insulting. No, it's not. Can I just go back to my guy who builds tension, by the way? Yeah. Because I had an idea about, you know how we always talk about comedians who die young, you know, you're your your your anti-calfmins. I mean, I don't know how young he was, probably younger than me. We like, I don't know, 30 something or 40 something. I think you're from the family in the 30s.

But back then, 30 was something different. These days, 30s, like 45. Yeah, that's correct. There's been some sort of dilation, time dilation. And we live longer, you know? And they started, he probably started relatively early. Yeah, and there were less people, less competition. And in the States, there's so much opportunity. So much opportunity. And very few people trying to seize that opportunity.

So really, they lead like three comedy lives in 10 years that we can have here. Yeah. So he was the equivalent of like somebody like, like, your years or something, you know. Yeah, it was the equivalent of somebody here dying at like 89 or something. Yeah, yeah. So over here when someone dies at 89, we always say, oh, such a shame they died so young, they still had so much more to give and they were just starting to, you know, get good. Yeah. And it's just tragedy the way things went.

But in America, you only say that if somebody dies in the sort of in the 30s or whatever. Yeah. But my point was, we'd already seen a fair bit of his career. I would like a comedian to die before they'd even got to the punchline of their first joke, right? Because really that is when they, I believe, have the most potential, right before that first punchline. Because we'll never know how funny it could have been. And imagine how funny that first punch line could have been. And if that's how funny they were with their first punch line, imagine how funny they would have been in five or ten years time. That is the absolute, whatever the point is, it's the point.

It's the point. The point of what I was saying, saying I just like to reiterate that yeah, but but no, but you know So I think a documentary about it an open mic comedian with the most potential with the most potential They died and how you know they died at before they delivered their first punch line 20 seconds into their first set right and We get all these talking heads and all these people who try it out and talk about what could have been, and how, hang on, how sad it is, we get to let these.

Sure. Andy Kindler. Yeah, get him in. Yeah. Andy Daly, we get him. Sure. Andy Richter, get him. Richter.

All Grethby, great to get Richter. Yeah, we so good to get him. Oh, maybe really good get. Yeah, Andy, what Conan's gonna be in town in this mountain? Well then Andy Richter must be here. Well Andy Richter might be. I mean, are they ever apart?

I mean, you know, there's a limit to how far they can get apart, I'm sure. The diameter of the earth. Like legal or? I mean, currently it's quite high, it's quite tall. So you probably get further apart. Like a lot of people. There's a limit to how far you can get apart

if you don't go on a spaceship. Yeah. Space shuttle or something like that. That's right. Which I don't think other of them is. No, but I do like this idea. And I think maybe there's also something that can be said. Andy Dick.

Andy Dick, we could get Andy Dick on. Oh, that'd be amazing. Yeah. Andy Ions, the... What about the... Saffer? Did he go? Andrew Santino, maybe.

Not Andrew. I don't know about this Andrew guy. So just about your Andy. Hey, look, I mean... I mean, but it'd be great if he didn't, yeah, I mean, like you're not saying, hey, we're only getting Andy's on, but you do only get Andy's. It's exclusively Andy's. Yeah.

Yeah, I liked it. So, and, but then all do we get to see his set up? I think, yeah, I think, I think so, I think so. But I think there's so much, because it's not just about the drug, there's so much to deconstruct for these people to talk about the confident way that they got the mic out of the stand

or whatever in the way that they put their bottle of water down on the stool. Sure, yeah. Had stuff written on his hand, we can't make out what the words were, but handwriting. And he had such a lean use of language in those, We can't make out what the words were, but handwriting. And he had such a lean use of language

in that line that he used before he perished. So efficient, yeah. It was such an effort. Economy. I mean, it's sad to think of how good that Joe could have been, and then obviously extrapolate to see how good his whole career could have been. He could have been one of the greats.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe two of them. We don't know. Could have been two of the greats. I mean, that's something, isn't it? It's very, it's always very impressive when somebody is really good at two things, you know? But you've always got to think that maybe,

they always tend to pick things that are a little bit related, I think, you know? Like ice hockey and... Ice hockey. Or a gnarly. Yeah, ice sculpture. Sort of, oh, gnarly. And...

I talky and sort of... Oh, I don't care about that. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. you hadn't. I wish you hadn't. And I like that I do someone trying to stop talking as well. You know, you see somebody, someone who's cars that's out of control coming into a busy pedestrian area or something. You see them stepping on the break, but they can't stop.

Now, stamping on the break. Stamping on the break. It was how suddenly you would stop stamping on the break. Well, they didn't stop fast enough, did they? They still hit all those people. It was how suddenly you would stop stamping on the bread. Well, they didn't stop fast enough. Did they still hear all those people? I don't know. Because it was an analogy for what you did

with the word origami. He plowed into those people like Alistair trying to stop saying origami. So for you hitting a syllable, cleanly is like hitting a person. For me, not being able to stop saying a word before it comes out of your mouth is like being able to not stop a car

before it hits somebody. So then saying a word properly. Yes. Is like putting your foot down on the accelerator and confidently mowing through a group of people. I mean, I didn't realize how good my analogy was, but it's flawless. Yeah. It is without flaw.

That's what I'm trying to achieve. I mean, it's what I was trying to communicate was, I mean, I guess there's no clear way of communicating, I want to hit you with my car, then to actually hit someone with your car. Is there a more efficient way of saying it sort of in a way that people are? Well, by actually hitting somebody with a car, you're sort of transcending language in a way, and you're taking on this sort of almost muscular sort of gritty realism that you might have got from someone like a like a Bikowski or a you know a Hemingway, you know like that you know if they were the running into the flat out running people down of of the text world. But then I've wondered in the time while you were talking.

Whether or not I was wondering while you were talking. Yeah Listen to we have a friend a listener to this podcast. I call him a friend. We've been emailing friend of the show Friend of the show Bryant Brian and he has named his podcast After the alternative name of this podcast, which is here's what I was thinking about while you were talking. Yeah. And we've listened to at least one episode each. I've listened to three episodes.

It's my new favorite podcast. And they talk about just general topics. It's him and two other people. And it's one of the most soothing things you'll ever listen to. They all have incredibly soothing voices, Brian. I hope you take this in the way that it is intended, which is, I love your voice. Yeah, but.

And you also pick friends with really good voices. They all sound like they have tremendous inner peace. Yeah, and I don't know how you get that. And to add, to contrast, to heighten the contrast with my life, they Brian played a very short snippet of this podcast on his podcast. And it was just awful listening, hearing my voice after listening to their beautiful voices this entire time.

Also, it's a very funny and interesting podcast so you should listen to it. Here's what I was thinking about while you were talking. I'll put a link in the show notes. Thanks, Brian. Good work. Keep up the good work. Now, what were we talking about?

Look, I have absolutely no idea. Oh, that's right. Here's the problem with, I thought that this would be the most direct way of communicating, that you want to hit somebody with your car, when you hit somebody with your car. But really, you don't know if they wanted to hit you with their car until they get out of the car and you see their attitude. Right. And this is like

any artistic statement. It's very much open to interpretation. You can't hope to know what the artist was actually communicating. What they wanted to communicate communicate you can only experience the feelings the sort of the almost the almost visceral Reaction that you get from from art or being hit by a car. I would say not even almost visceral being hit by a guy I'd say visceral visceral. Yeah, because I think you know, it's just sometimes sorry vice regal vice regal What did I say that? Why don't I say that? Well, why can't I just die? You can't. That's what we've been saying this whole time. I mean any time you've called out for help I said yeah

Well, if you want to Andy What is stopping you? Look, I wasn't going to go any further with that. I did have, I was going to say something about, you know, like when you try to communicate something, it never comes out exactly the way it was in your mind, but I didn't think I couldn't think of another place to continue with that. So let's put a stop to that. Let's get out of that. He has a joke I thought of.

You know, hang on, this isn't part of the joke. You know, asparagus makes urine smell different and vice versa. There is a guy on this scene who's... Really? Someone on this scene is doing that joke? Yeah. God damn it. I think asparagus makes urine smell funny and vice versa. So it's quite similar. Do you think I could do mine?

No, do you think I could still do mine? He said funny. Yeah. And I said different. I would still go for it. Yeah, great. Don Tran. Don Tran.

He's a very funny joke writer. Yeah, and it's a very efficient use of language, isn't it? It is very efficient use of language. I mean, he cheated a bit by putting the word funny in his joke Which I think is always you know, well that always helps the brain doesn't yeah, you're like I'm ready to laugh He just said funny must be a joke coming All right good Are there any people that ride that's been done that efficient joke? Do you think this ways of just getting a bull to just take you for a regular run?

That must be. You know, like all this kind of aggressive bull riding. Surely, couldn't you just have a nice relationship with a bull? And just use it like a horse like they seem very strong. They seem like they're definitely fitter like more fit for carrying humans than horses. Because they've just got a thicker back. It wouldn't be as hard on the on the on the bowl. They've got real strong legs it looks like. Yeah.

And I've seen that they people train bullocks and stuff which I think a bullock is just a bull. Right. Yeah. And they like Sandra. Train books and stuff, which I think a bullock is just a bull. Right. Yeah. And they... Like Sandra. Like Sandra. And they use them to pull like plows and stuff. And you don't see those ones leaping up and down and going all crazy and dragging the

plow all over the place. No, straight lines. Steadiest she goes. I mean, there could be rodeo plowing. Yes. You know, look, and I think that that could also be added to rodeo, but I'm trying to look for more uses for bulls that are kind of more amicable. Yeah, well, I think, you know, what is what is the competition with rodeo, right? It is who can stay on the bull the longest, this angry ball. Well, what about,

whereas the ball's game is who can stay under a human for the least amount of time. Correct. But if you have a, you know, an amicable, as you say, a relationship with this ball, then surely the crowd would gather at the rodeo to watch a man and the competition would be to see who even wants to get off the ball because they're having such a good time. Who can bring themselves to climb off the ball? First. First. So it's a bunch of guys on balls and they all have such a good relationship with the ball and the ball is so comfortable to ride and the ball is so happy with the situation. And it would feel so good having that powerful beast there and just being one and knowing

that you understood each other and there would be hard to bring yourself to climb off. So the real rodeo, the real battle is within the mind. Yeah, right. And so how do we make a version of that game where it's not like super easy to win by just getting off the ball? Like bringing it up. You don't want to, you don't want to get off the ball. And a ball, what if, what if, let's say somebody wanted a cheat and they just kind of, they brought in this ball they didn't really like that much? I like to think that the relationship between the man and ball would be so strong that you couldn't bring yourself to do that to the ball.

How about this? Whoever gets off their ball first, the ball gets killed. Oh my god. And so... And so then why would you get off? Because then you win. Because then you win,? Because then you win. Because then you win, because you want to win.

Yeah, but then that feels like somebody who brings in a bully don't care about it. Once again, we're back to the people just bringing the balls, they don't have a strong relationship. Well, there's an auto system. I know, yeah, but it's an honesty system. But it's, you know, it's like Frisbee itself, you know, ultimate Frisbee itself revered. I look at you trust people to do the right thing and they respond by, you know, and I think I love this guy who really desperately wants to try to make rodeo more positive thing. And he's finding trying to find new ways to just make it a more kind of, you know,

why can't we all just do this? Why can't we just love the bull? And, and it's, it's difficult to part with the bull because it's such a good friend of yours. What about a man and his bull look into each other's eyes? And whoever looks away, whoever looks away. This is actually really, really nice. Okay, it's a test of how strong your relationship is with the bull. Mm-hmm.

And you both just look into each other's eyes until one of you gets uncomfortable. It's the first time I'd break eye contact. But it's like six farmers in their bull. Yeah. And they just have to look into each other's eyes and who can do it for the longest win. Yeah. Because they love each other the most.

Yeah. Well, that's a clear sign. Either that or one of them is just catatonic. What's the stop people bringing in a catatonic bull? Well, the bull will have to stand, obviously. Yeah. Well, there'll be some sort of tests as well, I imagine. Yeah. And it's an honest system.

And it is an honest. There's this thing that says, don't bring a catatonic ball. It's not in the spirit of the thing. I think this is the thing. And this is, and balls are probably the smallest animal you could reliably do this with because they're so big and heavy that unless

that I don't think you could move a catatonic one around. Easily enough to rig the game. So I don't think you could move a catatonic one around. Easily enough to rig the game. So I don't think you could do this with dogs or cats, because people would just get a catatonic one. They could just carry a dog. Or a dogatonic. Yeah, depending. It would actually be a dog can't become catatonic. There were catatonic people and there were dogatonic people.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm a morning person. I was going gonna say. So yeah, well, I think that's good. And then I guess also if you're staring into the eyes of a bull that doesn't love you, I think they get quite aggressive. They don't like you looking at them like that, maybe. Yeah. Have you ever been half dad by a bull? Um, trying to think I've definitely been around bulls. Like like one time we were on the other side of a fence and there was some cows on one side and then the bull was on another side of a fence who separated from the cows. Yeah. But he was also not happy that we were right there. Yeah. Which side of the fence were you on? Well, we were on the third side of the fence.

Three-sided fence. Yeah. Right. So there was a fence separating us from all the non-human creatures. And then there was a fence in between the cows and the bull. Sure. So this was a Sure. So this was a, it was a three part. Yeah. Got it. Anyway, and he was very sort of expressing its displeasure. It just started being nearby. I have been barged by rams, like sheep rams,

when they're in a similar state of sort of frustration. And how was that? Have you ever been seriously hurt? No, none of them had horns, but they have very hard heads, because they smashed them into each other as well. When they just charge, only from a few feet away,

but they really, wow, I just punched my two hands together and it hurt quite a bit. My two hands. What? My three hands. It's like my three sons. I got it. Yeah? My three hands. It's like my three sons. I got it.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you imagine this. I don't know why I'm imagining this. Okay. But it's normal guy, so I'm hit the mic. Normal guy, except where he would have normal genitalia.

Oh. Penis in that, another hand. Oh my goodness. Because you could do that if you didn't have to, if you didn't drink any liquid. Wait, wait, what? What do you mean? Like, if you didn't have to use genitals ever,

like, what if you did sort of replace your buttock with... For your nation. Yeah. I thought somehow you were saying that you could achieve having a hand by not drinking. And I. No, no, no, no. No, yeah, yeah.

I feel like you would have to undergo some pretty serious surgery and keep that. You'd have to quit drinking. You'd have to quit drinking. So to like somebody who's on dialysis, Hmm. I think they don't drink water. Dialysis. Surely they do. That's not true. Well, my ex-girlfriend's mother was on dialysis and she didn't drink any liquid. Is this the episode where we talk about all your ex-girlfriends?

No, this can't be the one. We'll save that for the 200th episode. Okay, great. We're going to have 25 hours. Yes, and the names of all your ex-girlfriends will be the clues for people who listen into the podcast to tweet at us in a public forum. People just tweeting at me. Yeah, the names. And it'll let us know if they've listened to the full 25 hour podcast. Okay. It's not going to be possible, by the way, Alistair. Why not?

I just think that the human body isn't capable of coming up with that many sketch ideas. 200. I think it's like when you see people do one of those marathons, our bowels will just shut down, we'll just shit ourselves. And we can take a break and go shit. I don't think we can. We can just have another pair of shorts in the other room and just use the shower. We can come up with two and just get ready. I don't know, I guess. Yeah, how many of we come up on this podcast?

Three. Three. Oh, okay, you're right. We can come up with 200. Wait, now, what were we talking about before? I was going somewhere. Oh wait. Look, I can't remember if this was the thing.

Yeah. But in the idea, in the same vein as positive rodeo, is there a guy who's just, he's got a lameness to him, but he's really trying to find a way to gamify loving your wife, right? And he's like, I want to make this a competition where you prove that you love your wife more, but it actually is a measure of how much you actually love your wife. But also when I get married, I get married to win. Yeah, but he also, he doesn't cheapen the life. His wife's name is Win. I get married to Win.

Win-win-a-frid. Yeah. Yeah. He wants to win a Fred. What am I doing this episode? So, like, just let's say, let's just follow that. Yeah. That silly joke. What, that one? That the guy is in a marriage to, he got married to Win a Fred

But he says I'm in this to marry I'm in this to win a Fred But then is this his way of saying that he's in it to win a guy called Fred So he's entered this is what the the prize the prize for this game where you prove that you win your wife Are you love your wife is actually a knight with a man called Fred I'd never said anything about it being a knight with a man called Fred No, but this is what it is if you love your wife enough Yes, they let you spend a night with this guy called Fred. No, but this is what it is. If you love your wife enough, Yes, they let you spend a night with this guy called Fred.

They let you have a bisexual night where you're with just this guy called Fred who's up for it. Yep. And he has agency. It sounds like something that a church would do is some sort of bizarre gay conversion type thing where you prove that you truly love your wife and then we'll let you.

Dan, Dan, you can do it because everybody's got a little bit in them. Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, It's the church kind of making allowances realizing they go look if we don't give people any outlets

then Then they are gonna just do awful stuff and hide it and things like that But if we just set the bar that they actually have to Love their wife a lot and we they can prove it through competition. Yeah Then God would have to be happy with that. I mean, like you're keeping the family unit together and more together than anything. Yeah, because it tapes together.

Now, like you would be like this sport would be increasing year by year the amount of love that men are capable of giving to their wives. And Fred loves it as well by the way. Fred is so into it. And he's super hot. Fred is, and he loves his wife. And the tragedy for Fred is that there's nothing for him to win. Well, I guess he must have just won this competition so many years in a row. And then, and then, and then the person that he was getting. He won the Winner Fred competition. Yeah, well, the other Fred who used to be there, who was Fred, the guy who came up with this competition. But maybe Fred is like James Bond is just a name that they give to this

person. It's like a ceremonial title, like the Pope and Fred. You become the Fred. These were the two biggest people in the religion. So he becky's now the Fred. And he got it from the first Fred who was actually the Fred, was the Fred who came up with this game. And he loved his wife so much. And then...

And credit to Fred, the original Fred, he got this through the Vatican. He got it up. That was his great achievement. Yeah. What a guy. But you could see how using, you know, because now what the church is getting is they're not

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And financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu Getting love and they're not just getting this family unit. They're now bringing in to strengthen the family unit, sport science. Sports science, yes. You know, they, gamification.

They're getting, yeah, people who can study love and using, I think of the data you'd get out of this. Using data. Data. Actually increase the amount of money. You do this all this for the phone. The capacity of the phone.

Yeah, fit bits and phones and stuff. And everything's wireless, you know, bath the moment of everything. It's all wireless, right? And imagine how happy your wife would be for you and for her. And for Fred. And for Fred, because she knows how good a lover you are. And you've proven it through winning this competition.

I can't say how this is bad for anybody. No. And then it's also a small step towards getting people within religion to be more accepting of homosexuality. Well, it's definitely a step closer than I think so. I think it's compartmentalizing. I think that's the risk. I think what we are risking here is just compartmentalizing and turning homosexuality into a reward.

A reward or something that is just a, it's outside of just normal relationship. Well then you're like, oh, you still got to do the right thing. Yeah. And so then I guess that they make it seem like it's a wrong thing. I suppose. I know, but it's almost like there are flaws

in this idea. I know, but Andy, this is a religion that's first of all not got a lot of experience of changing, right? And then they of all not got a lot of experience of changing. And then they also don't have a lot of experience in accepting things like homosexuality. And so there's going to be some missteps on the way. Things that are going to seem like they're getting better, but really They're gonna people that become very aware very quickly that things are making things worse So is that what we're suggesting? That's what we're suggesting something that will make things worse. No, no, no We're not pitching something is that in our ignorance

When this has been pitched back and when this has happened this is not us. We're not this is not our real. Oh God It's not us. It's not us. This is them. Yeah They're gonna realize later on that this wasn't the best thing. Mm. And that's a learning experience. And once they know that, they're already on the road to making it better. And then they realize that all of this was just another test,

really realizing that that was flawed. It was another test which gets you points in a different game, which allows you to spend a night with Fred's dad. I mean, they could also be a similar game for if you can prove how much you love God. I think that is so on it. And if there isn't already a new religion that is like all these attempts to like revolutionize democracy by having direct democracy, you know, wherever and folks on everything via an app, if there isn't already one of those but a religion where you are all, you know, chipping in, voting on everything, that sort of thing, the religion is dynamic, you get it, you have stats,

you have updates on whether or not you're getting into heaven. And if the bar changes for what's required to get into heaven, that data's all there on your phone. Yeah, and you can see the clear path. It just shows you what the clear, what do you got to change in your life real quick? Yeah. Like aren't you, you're competing with your dad on running, some running app, you're on Strava with your dad. Yeah, that's happening now. Well, why can't there be that, but for, you know, being a good person? Well, I think China's just rolled out a thing like that. And how's that going?

And I look at, I mean, I think for some people, I think it's going bad, but they've been doing the wrong thing, Andy. So, you'll be fine as long as you're doing the right thing. I wonder if complaining about the app is one of the things that you're not allowed to do. Oh yeah. I think if I was designing it I would have put that in there first. Don't be like the first thing. You can't complain about this. And do you think it's always listening? Do you think that you can't, do you think that program, whatever, is always just listening to your phone? This is crazy. How could you possibly process that much data, though?

Yeah, that's true. And couldn't you just... But do you think it can read your emails? Like the Google thing? It could definitely read your emails. Yeah. Yeah. The good thing it can go.

Do you think it can judge how good a person you are, but also know when you need to have suitcases advertised to you? Yeah, I think when it starts advertising suitcases for you, you know that you're about to be sent away to some kind of reeducation camp or something like that. But hey, you're going to be able to get a good deal on those suitcases. Yeah. Maybe it pops up in a little alert. You're being sent away to a re-education camp, but don't worry.

50% off Samsonite for one day only. Slippy, sloppy. What's that? Samsonite. Is that one of their slogans? Well, no, it's just a line from Dumb and Dumber. He goes, ah, she had her name on her suitcase. What was it? SS, uh, slippy, slippy. Samsonite. I was way off. Well, that's great. If you could have wings, do you think that's something you would want?

Like wings so that you could actually fly, but you would have to use the energy to fly. I think that's fine. I can use the energy to fly. The wings have been designed for that, and I presume like my body is in some way adapt that I've got hollow bones, and I probably, you know, I sort of think do I have hollow bones? No, they've built wings that can they can work without you having to have your bones hollowed out Okay, sure, but how much but is relative to my body? Am I still making the same amount of effort that a bird makes?

Yeah, like it's a lot of effort. It is a lot of it So it is gonna be a lot of effort and you effort and now you also have to carry these wings. Now, yeah, and that's the next thing, isn't it? Where do the wings go? And how much do they fold up? Well, they're sort of, they're on your back, like they start on your back. But then they'll, I think they'll probably go in with your arms a little bit as well. I think they'll have their own muscles.

So they are a separate to my arms. Yeah, yeah. Like nothing, like no other creature on earth. I have separate wings. And I still have my arms. Because this is the duck, look at a duck. And if ever you want an example of a creature that knows what to do with its wings,

you look at a duck. Because there's just so beautifully shaped to the edges of the duck, the duck edges. And while there's the blend in, but then also there's a few just little flecks of color and stuff to just pick out the wings so you know that they're there. It's a masterclass of design. So all my wings going down my sides? Yeah, well, I mean, they're going to be all on your back. Where do they go?

Well, you're probably going to have to slide your wings over the back of the chair. Like you're hanging a jacket. Yeah, like you're hanging a jacket because, you know, you are getting these retro fitted. So that's why you do. You know what this means? No booths. No sitting in a booth for you. No?

Yeah, I guess not. I mean, but- You're living a world with that booths. No, but you could sit on your wings, but it's just- It's just been comfortable, but. Now, let's, okay, so now you are saying that you would like wings. No, I don't want them,

because I can't give up on the booths. No, but let's say you are saying, okay. Oh, wow, okay. Let's picture the scenario in which you are. You said want wings. Yeah, all right. Try, okay, let's say, okay, we're in a picture the scenario in which you are. You can want wings. Yeah, all right. Try, okay, let's say, okay,

we're in a world that doesn't have booths. So, I kill myself. Well, I know you don't wanna live. But let's say you did one. But I never know in what booths are. So it's not like a sense of loss, it's just a sense of only. Exactly, right?

It's just this loss that never happened, but you never gained also. Yeah. So now you do have the wings. Okay, you're getting the wings. Okay, and You probably will also have to use your arms when you're flapping. Okay, just because it's gonna take a lot of muscle to get these things going. So there will be some flesh handles on there that you can also get in on. But once you glide... So there are flesh handles on the wings that I can grab with my arms and help my wings, which are also connected and have their own muscles, but they're not strong enough to flap by themselves. To get you off the ground, that's where it's going to be really tough. Yeah. I think once you're in the air gliding,

you can let go of the flesh handles, and you'll fly through the air or go. Let go of the flesh handles. Yeah. George, if you're listening. Now, I was wondering, what model of the wings would you go for? Would you get ones with feathers, right?

Or would you get ones that are kind of like a skin, like it's a human skin? Oh, so I guess it would just, I guess it's a very thin film stretch between sort of bony finger-like sort of thing. Sort of things like that, but it would be your skin color. Oh, I mean, it sounds beautiful. Doesn't it?

Does the light sort of come through them and pick out the veins and that sort of thing? Yeah, that's very much. It would be your skin color. Oh, I mean, it sounds beautiful. Doesn't it? Does the light sort of come through them and pick out the veins and that sort of thing? Yeah, that's very much visible. Well, actually a lot of them, it really is just a light skeletal structure. And then with testicle skin over the top. Yeah.

And it turns out there was enough. That was all it took. Yeah. But then you have to keep getting your wings waxed. So it's scary then. You've got to keep not waxed. You're getting your wings waxed so that they don't lose their air or dynamicness. Yeah. So you've got to go to the...

And that is good. You think about that thin film of skin. So like a, you know, several meters worth of testicle skin that has to be waxed on a regular basis in order for me to achieve the incredibly difficult and exhausting feet of solo man-powered flight. Yeah, but it'll be hard to get up. Hard to get up feathers. It'll be hard to get up, but once you get up there,

you will soar. You'll soar like you could catch up drafts and things that you'll soar. You'll get to know the air like you've never known before. You know, you'll ride breezes and gusts and... I'm gonna get very cold on over that thin surface area if there's something we've already talked about in the podcast. Yeah, but you can cover them in grease.

Okay. Yes. Yes, all right. You know, I think that can seal in some of the heat. Mm-hmm. I heard about this. Yeah. You know, ancient, ancient,

inuit people, I mean, from hundreds of years ago, I'd cover themselves in sort of seal blubber. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so they could fly. Well, you know, if they had had the wings. Do you think you would go for this? So, my choice is between that one with the skin and feathers. Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'll go with the skin. Yeah, that's great. But like, knowing that people are doing this and it's working, right? Okay, so I'm not born into this world. No, well, I am born into a world where there are no boots. There are no boots, but you get to decide whether or not you want to win. But then having wings is an option. It's an option. But then it, it looks difficult because it looks like you have to get quite physically fit, but you get to fly. Now, once I've got the wings, if I get out of shape and I'm no longer able to get off the ground,

can I have the wings removed? Or am I now just out of shape and I have this huge, like, testicle hairy wings, which I'm probably not taking good care of either. I don't think it would be a good idea to get them removed. I think it will probably cause a fair bit of damage. You had to have these things pretty deeply embedded into your sort of, like it has to be embedded into your skeletal system. I think this is a huge commitment.

I don't, like it's like buying, you lose a little bit of weight in your biop huge commitment. I don't, like, it's like buying, you lose a little bit of weight and you buy a size 32 pair of pants, okay? And then you, and then you're like, you've made a mistake because that is your minimum level, you know? But I'm going to go up again to a 34 and I'm going to find it really uncomfortable to wear those 32s. But try to, like, think about it.

And then I'm going to feel bad every time. Yeah, but I'm picturing, let's say, you know, your parents' old house in Tasmania. Yes. Right. You know, you walk outside the door, and then there's just kind of downhill, downhill areas all around.

And those are perfect places where you can just sort of run, get spread your wings. And then as the, you know, the hill keeps going down, you just keep going straight. You know, we're at a much shallower decline like that. And then you're just, you're already up. And in times like that, it's not hard to fly. And now you're gliding over trees and up and around, you're finding drafts, you're climbing, you're climbing.

I love a good draft. You know, an up draft. You draft, avoiding the down drafts. Oh yeah. You could go into town, grab a coffee straight away, you didn't have to use any petrol or anything. I'm a real down draft, don't you? Is it a yes or a no? It's a yes.

It's a yes from me. Yeah. Is it a sketch? I think that's the question. I think people encountering the decision whether or not to... I think this could be a round on our game show. Where people ask people. I don't know how they get points. Maybe they prove that they love their wife. Yeah, okay, great. But I think the, do you want wings scenario?

Do you think? Good round on the guy. Do you think when you were deciding whether or not you'd be like, I better ask my wife. What do you think this is? Like, you come home and you've got wings. I know I remember the time when my dad came home and he bought a dinghy. And that was, that was a point of discussion for quite some time. I think if he'd come home and he'd have wings, it's also a bit of a selfish thing to come home with without asking you wings. Wings, wings. It's just

for you. And unless you can grab your wife, your wife, like you're an eagle swooping down to snatch your rabbit from a monk to a... I mean, that's how you would reveal it to her. Oh, what a reveal! What a reveal! I mean, she's out there. She's out there. She's out there.

She's out there. She's out there. She's out there. She's out there. She's out there. She a condor. She's gonna be so relieved. And that's the perfect time she's gonna be happy then. Well, I mean, especially if you've got that added extra of those talons that lock in, you pick her up by, you know, like, oh, her overall straps.

Yep. You know what I'm saying? You just strap in there and didn't scratch any flesh, you know, luckily. Cause you've already got the hang of this thing. By the time she realizes what's happened. Yes. You're already about 50 to 100 feet up in the air.

And you're in a very strong negotiating position. Visivity was this a good use of our shared savings. I know, but the reason why I was asked, because I don't think I would I Would expect my wife to ask you know like for me to get any kind of say and whether or not she wants wings I think she whether or not she gets wings. Yeah, I think I'd be like you know what? If you want wings, you can get wings I guess maybe some of the financial stuff probably would come into I go well, I guess it is our money But yeah, but really if you want wings and that's what you want.

Do you think that if one of the people in your relationship ship had wings, it would then become very sort of a bit of a pressure for that person to always be the one who has to go down to the shops. You know, so you could fly. You know, and I can't, you know. I already have that because I'm the only one with my driver's light So that wouldn't bother me if I also got wings Well it would bother you because it would be real hard sitting down the car

You know, that's true, but then you would get that retro fitted as well the car different kind of car No, I just said it on maybe just take that take the head rest off because you'd always be able to rest your head back on your wings Oh, they stick up today. I think that would have to go up there They're not to fold up there like that. There'd be the elbow would kind of probably be above your head There's an elbow. Well, there has to be all this is coming out for them to fold out For them to be able to swing out. Can they? I don't think ducks have elbows. Or would you go for that? Do ducks have elbows? I think so.

Maybe all birds have got an elbow in there. How they packing them back in? Packing back in. Because the wings are definitely bigger, aren't they? When they're out, then when they're packed away. They must fold up. Here's the third option for the kind of wings you would get. Beetle wings.

So you get that hard back. That carapace. Yeah, you get that hard back that opens up. That carapace. Yeah, that thing. Because I don't have certainty that that's the right word. I'm not going to... Oh, you're going to make yourself a fool of yourself.

I'm not going to make myself a you're going to make yourself a full of yourself. I'm not going to make myself a little hard back is what I call it. And then those delicate little little feathery wings, they're not there. There's no feathers on there, but they're you've never seen such a delicate delicate. Transparent, you know, transparent. Yeah. It's essentially stained glass. It is all like stained glass. Um, that's really interesting. You You know what I might go with that one

because they really do fold those wings away in there. Absolutely. And that hard back, I think I'd love it to have a hard back. Great for break dancing, obviously. Absolutely, yeah. And getting stabs in the back. And yes. I guess the thing is with the folding them back up. Does it happen easily or is it like one of those tents that just kind of pops out? And then you got to figure out the right way to twist them. Yeah, they seem like a good idea when you put them up, but then put them back down again. You know, well, the trouble. Yeah.

I think, I think it's still going with the beetle wings. Yeah. Light weight, hard back. Yeah, I think I'd go's still going over the beetle wings. Yeah, lightweight, hard back. Yeah, I think I'd go big, fleshy things. Big flesh, testicle wings. And also you could put like, you could put like a, like a windbreaker over the top of it, over the top of your wings.

You know, like the big flesh ones, but nice little windbreaker on top. I don't know you could do that if you were flying. Not while you're flying, you put it on before before you cuz you know it's gonna be colder up there No, but I think I think you couldn't fly with a windbreaker over your wings I think every in a dynamic point of view that being nightmare But that isn't that how isn't that how Those gliders work those regular things that people jump off of

Breakers on hey that windbreakers on. Hey. They have windbreakers on them. Andy, you're purposefully trying to not understand them. I am not. I am not purposefully trying to tell you. I'm just saying. What you are saying. A hang glider is just a metal frame with a windbreaker. No.

I hung out at the top. A hang glider is a metal frame with very special kind of fabric stretched over it, very thin, right? That is making the wing, right? A windbreaker is like a thick sort of woolly dense thing that sort of flap around. No, it's not woolly, a windbreaker is just a thin... What are you? you... We're like, what? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Oh, they're not in.

Sorry. Should we go to the three words? Yeah, we have to say much from the last. Yeah, a listener who donated to the Patreon and the $3 at least. It's a beautiful thing. And then can suggest three words. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much and today's Patreon supporter is Shane Trawartha. Shane, thank you so much. You know, your

surname makes me think of Bridge to Tero Bithia. Maybe you have a type of synesthesia in you. Yeah, maybe. Where somebody saying something makes you think of another thing. Yeah. Because I wasn't paying attention, which I actually, you know, barely am. I'm trying to get up something for later in the podcast on my phone. Well, it's good. Maybe I'll also check my phone while you're doing that. Oh, and I said, no, don't do that. You've got the words right there. Tell me the words. Okay, no problem.

I got the three words here, and they're a doozy. Okay, we got one. Wait, wait, wait, one of the words is one? Word number one is one. Okay. Word number two is one. I don't know, I don't know this is within the rules. Like I won.

Oh, I won't of the people in this room. Like if you don't know how language works. I won the competition for the person who causes wife the most. Yeah, okay, right. And the third word, can you guess what the third word is? Is it one? It is. Juan. One, one, one. One. One. Juan. Juan. Yeah, Juan Antonio Samar Ranch,

probably one of my favorite ones. Then of course there's Juan Carlos Ferreira. Yeah. It's hard to say. Well, I mean, Juan. Antonio Cicero. What was that called? Juan Antonio Samar Ranch. Samaranch. I mean he was president at the present at the and probably was he president of the Olympic community

I think he was he was present president. He was at the time. At the time. He was the president and he was present After and he's also the man who announced that Sydney one we presented presented it to Sydney, yeah, sure. That Sydney had won? One. One. One chance at the... Not one chance. No. They had it.

They had it, yeah. They had one chance. Oh, I guess so. To do it. They could have messed it up. No one else had a chance. They had the one chance. Yeah.

And they did. They were always gonna do it. Oh, maybe not. Not if they had the one chance. Yeah. And they did. They were always going to do it. Oh, maybe not. Not if they had in one. Actually, if we hadn't got it together to do the Olympics, you know, like if you don't get it together. Yeah, we're not ready. Sorry, everyone. Because really, that's the that's the first competition is getting ready to do the Olympics. That's right. In time. Yeah. And there should be a medal for that. I wonder whether, yeah. Did we get a medal for doing the Olympics?

I guess there is a gold of sorts that you sort of get and then spend on your city. Like a sort of a quantity of gold. Yeah. And then you lose that. But it's, I guess, it's not something you get to keep. No. No, it's one of the rules to begin with, I was to begin with really wasn't it? Hmm, like I don't think the to see in the international Olympic committee that don't give you any money to do the Olympics

But really a gold medal is yours to begin with anyway, and you're the one who loses it Wow, by not being the best. What a beautiful way to think about it. Yeah, you already have the gold medals Yeah, they're just invisible and then when you lose a race at the Olympics, you've given it away to one of the other people, which isn't other beautiful thing to do. Mm. Or, uh, because I mean, where does the gold come from anyway?

You know, like we're all, all first of all we're all potential winners So then that gold is equally all of ours But then also the gold comes from the earth which belongs to all of us. Do you think the fact that You could I use that somehow it's called lateral to get a house loan or something? I mean I don't know what another one another house loan But in a hypothetical scenario where I don't have a house. Yeah, be able to say, but look, we all share this beautiful earth. Maybe you could buy me a house. This is good. Yeah.

But what about the, it's kind of a sketch about the city that doesn't. Doesn't get it together to do you. Doesn't get it together. I think that's really funny. They just like, you know, all the media reports leading up are like, you guys are not going to be ready. And we're like, we'll do it. We'll be fine. It's always like this.

Yeah. And then the opening ceremony, everybody's marching towards the stadium. Also, I'm amazed that we even towards the stadium. Also, I'm amazed that we even got a stadium. I guess, oh, there is no stadium. Well, I guess I guess they're marching towards it, but it's not there. I'm amazed that people bother building a new stadium every time.

Why not just use one of the stadiums you already got. That is that that is truly disgusting. When they did the Melbourne Olympics in 1956, they used the MCG for a lot of it, I think. Yeah, right. I think I could be wrong about that. But yeah, I think it is truly sick and toxic, the fact that you have to build a new stadium for these people. Oh, is that what the Olympics actually asked for? Oh, I don't think you have to, but that's what everyone does. So when I I said, sorry, when I said you have to, didn't mean you have to.

Yeah, right. I just mean that you do have to do that, because that's what everyone does. I think, yeah, I think not being ready. And I like that it is Australia. And then we go back to the, maybe we even said it in 2000, or should we do it, is it in a future situation?

Maybe this might be a future city. It could be, it could be how the late gets it. Yeah. Right. The late gets it and then they kind of, like I mean, not that they're known for being slackers or anything like that. But what if you just kind of go, yeah, whatever. Like that when people are like, are you going to be ready?

It doesn't look like they're going to be ready. We go, no, whatever. Yeah. And then when it gets to it, we go, yeah, so, so what, we weren't ready. OK. And. And then when it gets to it we go. Yeah, so so what we weren't ready. Okay, and You know it's costs heaps. Yeah, we're looking at it last night and it costs it's because it's fortune to be all this stuff Well, we're not gonna be able to get done by tomorrow

No, well today So let's just find a place where they you can do it or Well, today, so let's just find a place where you can do it. Or do something else have a day off. Yeah, like two weeks. Even it goes to two weeks. Rowing, you could do that anywhere. Anywhere there's like, there's so much ocean. There should be an ocean of limbiics.

And then that's when they start pushing the idea. I know this seems crazy. Look, you're not going to be able to do it anywhere here. So why not just do it out in the ocean. Because there's already think about it. It's already a land Olympics. Yeah. There's always a already a mountain. Mountain Olympics. Mountain wind or Olympics. There's no ocean Olympics. And there's no underground Olympics now. Maybe you could do any underground events. Are there any underground events?

Are there any underground events in anything? I don't think we do enough stuff on a ground. There's no competitive tunneling, I don't think. No. Because there's very few things that are other than tunneling that you can do underground. Really do underground. They're involved being under. I guess even just breathing would be in a bag.

Just breathing, exactly. I think just being underground for ages. Yeah. Why isn't holding your breath in a vent at the Olympics? That would be really impressive. I reckon. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, these guys, this is what they do. They go, well, we're not, we want, we're not doing those regular events. Yeah. They try and cover up all of this because we're doing different stuff. You're brilliant. Yeah. We don't have a big stadium because we don't have any events that are going to need. Yeah. We're just more efficient. We just worked out different stuff that you wouldn't need that. I think that's something. There's a sketch in it, you know, trying, trying, even if it's just, even if we see more in the planning stage of how they're trying to talk down the, the Olympic committee to say that we don't need these kind of, like what is swimming

swimming is really just holding your breath, isn't it? Can't they just do that on land? Yeah. Cheap sky Olympics. I like that. Do you want to take us through the sketches that we've done so far today, LSD? All right, Andy, we've got insecure guy who hires someone to make himself seem spontaneous. Yeah, that was so long ago. It felt like so long ago. I mean, we're kind of somehow doing one and a half hour episodes almost that time. I don't know, it's crazy. I don't like it. I don't think anybody does. Then we got the comedian with the most potential. He died, but he's got the most potential because he didn't get through his first joke. He didn't manage to say the punchline, but he said that the setup which made him a comedian. Yeah. So he we looked it up in the dictionary.

Technically, you don't have to. You just have to tell him. looked it up in the dictionary, technically you don't have to... You just have to tell him. It says in the dictionary, someone who does setups for jokes and it doesn't say in the comment. But any talking you do in the context of a comedy night is already kind of classified as comedy. I think that is actually true. Yeah.

Because you're always going to get some pity laughs. Anyway, so you're getting laughs. Pity laughs are a legitimate form of laughs. I think someone who does stadium tours of pity laughs would be impressive. It's like somebody out of tour. Yeah. You're like, and word of mouth is really good, you know?

Like people always talk, talking about this, this, this comedian they're like, oh no, you know? People always talk about this, this comedian, they're like, oh no, you gotta go see this person, they really make you want to laugh, to make them feel better. I couldn't help myself from laughing. But he's so good at it. Yeah. Or they, they are so good. Yeah. Women can be bad at comedy too. Yeah, it can work. Yeah, if they want, I guess they could be.

I mean, I don't want to put it in the list. I know that's not what you believe, Alistair. Then we got the positive rodeo guy. So this is the guy really trying to start a positive rodeo movement. And one of the events is like, what about it's like a movement where it's like a, like what about something where you're not like riding a cow and it's angry with you? What about something where you can like aboy in his cow just looking to each other's eyes for as long as possible and this bull bull. So it's like you know

it should be macho. You know or galon or bull. I'm sorry or a galon or bull. Yeah galon or bull. Yeah galon or bull. Yep. I'll call George. Then we got Winner Fred. Yes. Now this is a new religious innovation. Yeah, it's where you know, it's well, it's it's also a competitive sport. We can they love their wife the most through Series a series of events like a decathlon, but and it's got to be real love as well and it's real love And there's we're actually measuring love. Yeah, like it's not like some sort of chemical in your brain We tapped into that we can measure that so we can put it put you through to certain things and we'll see how much you love And and it's not like who can carry their wife or anything like that. And it's not just caring for somebody as well, you know? Yeah, and it's not like doing chores or whatever because anybody could do that.

Anybody could do that. A robot could do that. And then we've also got, oh yeah, then if you, sorry, if you're... And it's not just being a good husband, it's not just being nice and you know, being having a, you know, anyone can do that. Anybody can make up their mind and go, all right, I'll care about this person and I'll,

I'll care for this person and I will do everything that I need so that both our lives are good. It's not just that, it also has to be actual love. Yeah. Do you get the wings? This is the next sketch. The format of this sketch is a little vague for me, but yeah, I think either it's around in our game show.

Mm. No, look, I think it's like, look, a guy turns on the TV, it becomes clear that now human wing technology is here. And it's not even a technology. It's just like we can now graft it onto your body and you will have wings. And then he's like, he's an ad for that, and he's kind of like starting to contemplate whether or not, and then he does get them.

And then he starts seeing some of the downsides and then then he probably puts on weight, doesn't use him very much. You know? and then he probably puts on weight, doesn't use him very much. I think it would be also interesting to see it as a dating show, but like a compulsory dating show, when somebody is there and there's three suitors, are three different types of wings. I love that. Yeah.

But they are definitely going home with one type of wing. Wow, they're not allowed to not get wings. Yeah. home with one type of wing. Wow. They're not allowed to not get wings. Yeah. And then we have the didn't make it to get our city ready for the Olympics sketch. Yeah. We were going to do it, but we didn't. Oh, we just, yeah.

We're doing a different thing. They'll come up. All right. Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi, Dibidabadi And I hyped on the most recent episode that there was a new development in the Alex Schmidt's clayfish saga, because he'd pitched clayfish to his band and they hated it. And then another member of the band got in touch and told us that he thought it should

be clay shit, because that's how a bad he thought the name was. Anyway, another member of the band has got in touch. Alex's brother, Zachary. He's also a member of the band. Really, he says that the rest of the band, it wasn't the rest of the band that hated Clayfish. It was only Jacob who didn't like Clayfish and called it Clay's shit. He was the one who emailed to say that it was Clay's shit. And he says that they've actually been going through the same struggle as George's band. Okay, they haven't been able to come up with a name.

So he has come and said he wants to shift the tables from George to them. He wants us to help them come up with a name for their band as well. Orica. And maybe George will help decide. How about this? If George can't name his band, maybe he can name this band.

Oh, that's good. Well, I got a band name for him. What about this? Irakange. Irakange is an incredible name. Yeah, it's a jelly, it's a very small jellyfish that makes all your systems shut down. I'll just run you through.

I think that's very good, Alan Stair. I'm going to push for that and I might even email them to that effect. I would just say that they had a lot of names that they were considering. Cripe and Cripe's, Charlie Bucket is greater than Charles Dickens, Houseman, and they're currently rolling with Clunk, which I thought you would like. They're currently rolling with Clunk? Clunk is their current name. Well, I do quite like clunk. That's often a style of comedy that I do around Andy, where I take away the brevity and

smoothness of any comedic lines. And you really clunk it up. Anyway, Zachary, we're pitching you a kanji to you. I'll ask George what he thinks of it and we'll get back to you to see whether he reckons Ira Kange is a good name for you guys. But also Ira Kange Klunk? Ira Kange Klunk. It's almost it's it's almost undeniable. Anyway, they're I asked them for more information about the band. They're located out of Green Bay, Wisconsin. I asked want to start a music they play and I George hates that question. But yeah they said most of us

are inspired by the 90s alternative rock and metal scene. So if there was one thing we were similar to it would be that. Anyway I reckon Erocanji is a great name for that. Erocanji, small, incredibly deadly jellyfish. Oh yeah, heavy metal, you know, probably got some heavy metals in them. There's at least a lot of heavy metals in the oceans from the bottoms of boats. Yeah. Because of the, you know, trying to stop barnacles from going on there. Is it whether they paint like mercury on there and stuff today? Led and gold. I don't know which exactly. I apologize, I didn't do.

Platinum. We got to get going. We got to get out of here. So I'm so sorry. I'm not really telling you that. Anyway, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. Take care. Review. You can find us on Twitter. Review us on iTunes.

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