Two In The Think Tank - 175 - "WIZARDS VS HACKERS"

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Drinking Book, WVH, Fop Dundee, Give a Man a Friend, Dark Data, Virus Myth, Pregnant BoxingOur Melbourne Comedy Festival show is for sale here: use the promo code TITTT for 20% off full price tickets (unfortunately this code isn't live until a couple of days from now, if it doesn't work, wait a bit then try it)Hey, why not listen to Al's new meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here10000 thread count thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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this podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh in the thing tank. Tink. Hello, I'm Andy. And I'm Elishted George William Tromblay Bertual. And this is the show where we come up with would you believe it? Five of you. Have you sketch ideas? You're sketchiest of ideas. Yeah, I'll tell you what, you know, we have us from

nature's paddock. Absolutely. They grow like fur on the top of our minds. And we just grab those sprouts We grab the the sprouts of fur and yank them out yank them out like their hairs poking out of a nostril Yes, and and then look at them dangling there between our fingers hold it against the light because sometimes the hairs are sort of Translucent you can't see them really hold them against the light and you get the light gleaming through the hair That's right. You think there you go. That's a sketch idea. Is there anything in this?

Yes. And describe it to you. Maybe it looks like something like T-Leaves, but not it's hair in my fingers up against light that's burning my retina. Reading T-Leaves. You know, what do you think there's anything in this? Well, okay, reading tea leaves, what about drinking books? Hey, you, what is next? Write it down, LSD. What are you doing? Well, I mean, it's one of the clearest jokes we've ever come up with on the podcast. And I know I said this to you before the podcast started, but like a man after we're in these in Borksite, I stand in awe of you, Alistair

Troubley virtual, the way you were able to turn that into us, into if not a sketch idea, then certainly what passes for a sketch idea on this sketch idea podcast. Do you think that we could be responsible for contributing to the downfall of sketch? Yeah. By pushing the envelope and consistently making it acceptable for things that are marginal, more marginal sketch ideas to become part of the mainstream, we've normalized a situation now where almost anything is considered a valid sketch idea. I guess you could say that envelope was in many ways like a bar. And when we were pushing it, we were kind of lowering that bar.

That's right. Yeah. Sort of pushing it in a downward-foam fashion. If by envelope you mean bar, and if when you're talking about pushing it, you're talking about pushing it in the downward direction, then yes, you have pushed the envelope. Exactly. I mean, look, we've smudged the, at least the boundaries

between saying something and climbing up and coming up with a sketch idea. The important part is writing it down. So look, this person, so what is this? Is this a, some persons aren't. I can't even remember what we were talking about now. Some persons aren't who reads tea leaves, but then also drinks books. And then which part of her is more interesting? By framing this as an aunt, you've really, you've brought it so much closer to reality. I think she wears clothes that look like curtains.

Well, you go round, you go round to her house, and she is going to tell you you've fortune. Yeah, and she reads the tea leaves and can I get you something to drink? Maybe a cup of book. A cup of grisham Maybe a long railing a long railing Rowing all of these these are very plausible tea Brands, you know, but I mean once Roy Boss was accepted. Yeah, you know anything You don't like I know you don't like African words and you're a

do you think it is a, do you think it is a? I don't know, I'm just assuming. Is it African origin? I'll say I'm just assuming that when you said that you had some, I do remember reading the back of a pack. Oh, yeah, pack back. Yeah.

Reading some tea leaves. Okay. I've got to read the tea leaves. Oh, twidings. Would you like some? I can't figure out which part of your aunt is more interesting. The fact that she reads tea leaves or she drinks books. Does she ever get confused? What are the forms of fortune telling? Crossing your palm with silver? Is that a thing? I think that just means that's just a way that an old fortune teller woman would ask for money,

basically. Well, I'm thinking of bringing that back, by the way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Whenever I'm, you know, asked to do a job, I'll say, well, sure, but only if you cross my palm with silver. Or as I was originally going to say, cross my palm with silver. Cross my palm with silver. Sure. wait. So now, are we not gonna try to go deeper on this part

and on this sketch? I just don't know how much deeper you can go. You've got a woman drinking a book. I mean, what's below that? Well, you don't have to go below, you can go above. Above. Yeah. I mean...

I guess she could... she's got two tea cups. One's got the tea leaves. One's got the book leaves, book pages that are kind of just torn up in there. And she starts reading one to the person who's tea leaves. One of the tea leaves or one of the books? Well, she picks one up, she goes, oh, you're walking into the highest, confident. You know, that's not how you're supposed to read tea leaves, though. Like when you read tea leaves, you look at the leaves that are left at the bottom of the cup. There's something about the way they're arranged. I think you're conceded for how that would be pulled off.

Well, I know, but I'm really trying to make this person, and we could say this comedy work by making it that she's not only a person who drinks books and reads tea leaves, but occasionally she confuses the two and just reads the torn up pages of a book at the bottom of a teacup as somebody's fortune. But I don't, I don't, okay, I mean, that might work. In my mind, that doesn't work as an escalation of the sketch. It works as just like an,

I sort of undermining what fragile structure it already had. And then she goes, oh no, sorry, that was the book again. Sorry, all right, here we go. T-leaves, T-leaves. What about this, right? It's somebody who reads T-leaves. Right, and they get the person to drink that cup of tea and then they take the tea and they look into the bottom of the cup

and it just says, you are a fraud. And they're like, we might be having, we'll just get another cup. Or she goes, or she says to the person, she doesn't get the message. She says to the person, it says here you're a fraud. What? Really, what else does it say? Well, I'll try to get a rat again. I'll take another look. No, it says no. I was talking about you. Yeah, which is crazy because then also,

whilst it's giving her this message that her whole I know, this is just is flawed. It's also reinforcing it. And this may actually be how it works. Yeah. Like what like like Tee Leaf reading works, but only in the sense that it is able to send disparaging messages to psychics. To people who try to. That's great. Tee Leafs are very cynical. And if you try to read them, they actually don't like being bothered. They said it's

not like their privacy being invaded. They say things, but that's how they communicate with each other. They're really angry. I guess they were just dipped in boiling water. I guess it's, is it spirits? It's probably spirits moving them around in there and sort of arranging them to communicate their messages. Could be. In a way that you've got a limited character format, it would have, I imagine similar rules to Twitter

or something like that. From the point of view of a spirit, trying to communicate your message. You get a little message in there and it says then one of eight, right? And you've got to have another kind of... Well, it might be one of those ones where they kind of use more emoticolons to sort of tell a story. Sure.

So I think it's kind of, you know, it's more like shapes like an in-block test kind of thing. But I guess they could show the, you know, these angry tea leaves could show the lady that, oh, don't like you through one person shaking their finger and then a little outline of this aunt. But then again, you could also do that with the book pages that you drew. You could do that with the book pages, you know? You know, that's the thing. You could do a sketch in which it's sort of playing out and this person keeps seeing different images in there. They describe the images to the person

who's come into the psychic, right? The client image after image and image. And then at some point the client says, wait, is this the plot of Titanic? And the psychic says, congratulations, it's the plot of Titanic. All right, let's go again. Okay, let's do again. And that's what's interesting as well is that, you know, the kind of the messages that the spirits can give you. It's really kind of stopped at like, you know, early, like it's not evolved with the art form. Like there's no tea leaves

that can sort of represent the moving picture. Right. You know, it's really stopped at sort of simple images. Quite static, you know. Yeah. I mean, that's all I've got for you here. No, no, no, that's fine. I mean, you's all I've got for you here. No, no, no, no, that's fine. I mean, you would hope that by now,

the spirit world would have, you know, because to hold people's attention, you really do need video, right? That's what gets the eyeballs. So at the bottom of that cup, you've got to be able to look down and see like a little vine. Yeah, if you could, hologram of two- hologram, that would really make me feel like I was in some kind of future.

Like magic was staying current. Yeah, that's right, magic was moving with the times. Which you feel like if it was really magic, it wouldn't be that hard for it to do that. Has anyone done magic, done a some sort of a modern TV type thing, right? In which magic is used to like hack into computers and change, I don't know. Yeah, great. You know, bypass firewalls and that sort of thing with various spells.

I like the idea. What about magicians versus hackers? That's really good. So the magician turns all of the hackers family into newts, but then the hacker docks the magician. Oh, yeah, if it's all this personal information on there, I'm not mad. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that would really really could really ruin your life. Oh, yeah. It can cause you to not be able to feel safe in your own neighborhood. And, oh, yeah, that's, that's it, that's it's something that one should have to experience.

Absolutely, I like this. And maybe the hacker finds a way to hack into the source code where magic comes from. Oh, wow. Maybe because he's got, he gets a wand. He finds a wand somewhere and he hooks his... Plugs that into the... Laptop into a wand and he sort of manages to access

that world and then he can kind of go in. And then that's the first, like, you know, he's like that guy in that movie with werewolves versus vampires, you know, he's that first guy who gets to be the like, the hybrid. Does both. He does both. What about, he, you could record the wizard saying a spell.

You get footage of him, you know. You hack into his webcam and you record his voice. And then you do like a remix of the spell, allowing you to sort of do other magic using the wizard's voice. I wonder if you can sort of like, if you played it near him, it just sort of makes if you played it near him. It just sort of makes his hands start producing magic because they're just responding to his voice.

I imagine so. Yeah. Voice commands. It's all done with. Magic is all voice commands, right? And I think if you were a tech genius with enough understanding of sort of voice activated technology and that sort of thing,

you'd be able to replicate it in some way. Even back in the 80s, when they used to fight hackers in magicians, there could be a story of flashback. You know, you go back to these guys as dads or moms when they were fighting. Maybe one hackers mom versus a magician's dad. And you go back to the time where they didn't have all this voice recognition technology, but they had the clapper. The clapper.

What's that? It was the thing we could turn on lights by clapping this. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this. And then there was also magician tricks who had, you know, they could just, you know, start to fire. Something like that.

By clapping. Like that. Right. And then go on. And then this hacker's mom finds a way to hack into the magic using a clapper. Look, I didn't think of this through as much. She hacks into the magic using a clapper and can start fire anywhere.

I just think, yeah, I think Wizards versus Hackers is very funny. We could get we could get funding for that. We probably already have got funding. We haven't checked our emails. Yeah, well, you know, this, this, we're recording this, you know, the day before. This, it gets released. Yeah. So by the time you've heard this, we probably already got funding. But if you want to give us extra funding, it gets released. So by the time you've heard this,

we probably already got funding. But if you want to give us extra funding, oh sure. It's a free country. It is a free country. Wait, what country are we in? What country are they in? That's true.

Yeah, a cult. It's the occult. I think there's a moment in hackers versus magicians. And I like magicians better than wizards, because wizards sounds cool. Sure, sure. Magicians has a cheap feel. Yeah, but I think we do need to make it clear

that these are people who can do actual magic. I know, but I think they can do actual magic, but they can also do street magic. Okay, both. I think that would, you know, just so that they can blend in. I mean, what a perfect cover. No one's going to think that you can fundamentally alter the structure of time and space. If you spend all your time memorizing card tricks. Exactly, yeah.

You're taking sort of speed and practicing hiding coins behind your hand in front of the mirror. You're taking speed. And just I met a guy at the time. So they got microdose and that sort of thing to try. Or macrodose. I think they were macro. I met one guy who like macrodose.

Macrodosing is when you get like a huge slab of drug and you eat it with a spoon. Yeah. And he was like, he ate it with a melon bowl. It took me a week on speed to learn that trick. And it's just him on speed in front of the mirror, repeating it, trying to keep doing it

so that he could pick up the coin out of one hand and make it disappear. You know, with the other hand and go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's the hard part of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We go to your fingers and make, you know, like a little rainbow. It's because the whole discussion of wizards, all magicians versus hackers, has a ring to me of all that thing that people used to talk about, which I don't know if people talk about it anymore, but maybe the kids can tell us if this is still a live discussion,

but the thing of who would win out of pirates versus ninjas or zombies versus whatever. And you know, but you know what could unite these people is that both wizards or magicians and hackers or hackers, they both have white hat and black hat ones. They absolutely do. Do you think they'll team up at the end over their shared love of different colored hats? I think so. And then it'll just be white hats versus black hats. You know what, when I've been picturing the hats for white hat and black hat hackers,

they have always been pointy hats. I don't know what kind of hats other people have been picturing, but I just realize now that you bring this up, that I've always pictured as a little pointy hat. Wizards hat. Like a little cone. Like a Wizards hat exactly, LSD. Well, you know, I think that's the imagery

that they were intending, unless like they were intending for the world. I think they were probably intending something cooler in their mind. I think it's a magic reference. Really? Yeah, like white wizards, white magic and black magic. Oh, and I hope that's true.

White magic is, you know, a good, you know, nice magic. Black magic is evil in the dark arts. I think that the hackers will also employ irony to take down the wizards and, you know, absolutely. Memes and calling them guy or something like that, probably. Well, I can't wait. Because then the wizards can take them down using the very social media that these hackers love so much by attacking them for using homophobia

to try to bring down the wizards. Right, right. I think we've all got so many stories for this already. Yeah, the threads are all there. It's very exciting. They all, and they all just use cryptocurrency. Yep. That'll just be a fun thing.

It's gonna be so much fun. I can't wait. I had some other little thing. No, have you, have you, what are you talking about? No, you go. I don't have a thing. This is the kind of lame stuff. They'll be in this. Yeah. One of the, one of the guys, hackers at one point will show,

we'll be talking to the other hackers and go, I'll tell you why they're evil. Look, and you'll take the world occult. And then he'll remove one of the C's, erase one of the C's, and draw a line next to the O, so it says A cult. Draw a line next to the O. Like, you know, so it's like, say, all cult. No, that'll be a make it an A. Oh, one of those, one of those lower case A's.

But one of those big ones. There's way too many different ways that you can write the A. That's what I'm finding with having to show my child letters. Yeah. Too many ways you can write the A. Too many ways that you can do the G,

or at least that fancy G that they do in a lot of fonts. Like that's unachievable. That's setting an unrealistic standard for my G's. I can't do whatever that sort of double blob thing is there with a little tail on it as well. It looks beautiful, but it's just not realistic. No, I hear you. Yeah, and some of these H of these, you know, like, Hs or Fs that have this sort of big flourish either at the top, the big curly flourish at the top, or the big curly flourish at the bottom of the F. You know, like you're sort of like a 16th,

50s, you know, I guess, uh, scribe, scribe, like scribe, a foppy scribe. Foppy scribe? Foppy scribe. Yeah. Um, like to see a foppy scribe. I don't know what I'm saying this. Yeah. But like wrestle a crocodile. Okay. Because I think because of their, you know,

because of their fumpishness, you think you don't think of them as being somebody who will fight for themselves and, you know, defend themselves. But I don't think a foppy has any less love of life or desire to keep on living. And I think the fob ishness would contribute to... And I know the words are very similar, but a kind of a flop ishness. I think fobs are floppy. You think so? And I think that they would be able to use that inherent flexibility to sort of

ride around the crocodile. I wonder where the safest place to be if you're being attacked by a crocodile is. Like do you think if you did get onto the crocodiles back? Yeah. And you sort of, but then they can go down and. Could you choke it to death though? You think you could like, you could pull up.

It's neck. And yeah, around its neck. I probably scratch it with its claws a little bit. And they've got quite a spiky back as well. Like when you pulled yourself into the crocodile. They would thrash, but you could really lock in. Yeah, I think the key is just to lock in. The crocodile's, they do like roll, yeah,

on the bottom of the water. There could be rocks down there. That would be bad, wouldn't it? Stuff between a crock and a hard place. And a muddy rock bottom. Muddy rock bottom. Muddy rock bottom. Yeah.

All right, we've got to find another sketch out here. I don't know, I know. I mean, I think... Is there some version of crocodile dundee in which... Phops versus crocs? Wait, so it's crocodile dundee, but where is the phop? Where he's a phop or he's among the phops? Like I don't think we... If he goes back in, I mean, I would like to see this fuck it. I'll done these now

What's he done? He's gone to New York. He's gone to LA. Mm-hmm. He's gone back to the Alc back again Where is their left room to go back in time back to Regency London. Okay, yeah. I hear you. Fop Dundee. Yeah. Yeah, no, I like this.

And he's... Frock Dundee. Frock Dundee? Hey, look, that totally works, you know? And he's... What has he got to do? He has to... He has to learn how to sew.

Like a suit. Like he's now... He becomes a tailor. Like he's servicing the, you know, the nobility. This is a great angle for him. This is really going to give some new life to the character. So, how does his toughness kind of manifest itself? It doesn't. He suppresses it all. It blends in perfectly. Wow. So it's just him. It's a man discovering who he truly is.

Yeah. He was a secret fob. I've pushed it into silly a direction. But I think seeing all those things in an even more heightened fashion, like I'd like to know, I am interested in exactly how it is that he does come to travel backwards through time. Yeah, well I guess it could be magic. Oh, okay. Could be magic.

I mean that would really change things, I guess it could be magic. So that's what it's like. Oh, okay. It could be magic. I mean, that would really change things, I guess. But I also do think that the, the Americans when they develop nuclear, not nuclear weapons, but a lot of rockets and that sort of thing, they tested them in Australia at the Wimmeri rocket testing range, I believe. So I think that also, if you were inventing time travel, there's no reason that Australia wouldn't do some kind of a deal with the US to say, well, you can test your time travel machines in the outback. Of course, all this stuff going on

with the Yanks coming down, with their troop carriers and that sort of thing, all this stuff going on with the yanks coming down, with their troop carriers and that sort of thing, and driving them roughly through that, that's going to attract the attention of Croc Dundee. That's true, yeah. You know, who's going to track them in some way, maybe rescue one of the beautiful young Americans soldiers from a crocodile, probably. Of course, yeah. And in some way, you know of course, yeah, and

And in some way, you know game their trust and then wind up Probably by accident yeah traveling backwards through time. Yeah, well, I guess it wouldn't be on purpose maybe Yeah, I mean yeah, so so what he's this This soldier here. She's singing back to the base whoever Whoever they are, they're beautiful. Whoever they are, they're gorgeous. They pop some champagne. He says, oh, just gotta go to the Lou. Like that. Oh no, but because he doesn't know about what toilets look like.

Remember what he was like with that bidet in New York? Oh, yeah, he didn't know. Yeah, he wasn't good with that. And what is a, a time machine look like? Well, it's just a door. It's a portal loop, isn't it? Yeah, it's on exactly. So he's just opening doors, he's trying to find the toilet.

He doesn't want to ask for help. And it's a tracker of sorts. This is it, the time machine is called the portal, right? And this is Mark 0-0. So portal loop. Exactly. Portal 0-0. So, portaloo. Exactly. Oh. Portal 0-0.

And so then he goes... It could even be, even if it's 0-0-1, it looks like portaloo-1. There you go. Or portaloo. Portaloo. And then he goes in there. Takes him back to Waterloo. Really?

So, wow. Is the port Portelu a play on Waterloo? Because much like Napoleon, I've had some of my darkest days in a Portelu. I mean, is it a reference to an old war? Where was Waterloo? Actually, yeah. Waterloo was in the Netherlands. Maybe I'm just thinking that because it's got the word water in it. I know that the Netherlands is a particularly soggy country.

Yeah, right. Who do they fight? Who were the French fighting there? England? I'm pretty sure the Duke of Wellington was up against Napoleon and Waterloo. The Dow. The Dow. The Do. The Do. The Do. Do. Do. Is that Dow Jones? The Duke of Wellington Jones? A Doudedown Jones. I don't know why.

All right, what about this? Okay, wait, wait, wait, we've almost written something down. Oh, okay. Well, um, uh, Fop Dundee. Fop Dundee. Yeah. And I don't know why this time machine takes him back to England when it's in the outback, but it does. Sure, I mean, it just does. That's where they, I guess maybe these people are setting up places where they, I mean, they've got a mission. That's what's gonna happen. He's gonna be in there and there's already gonna be some American soldiers in there

who are trying to do something. They've got some mission there. Although back in time as well, are they? They've gone back in time. So it's not just him. Well, they've back in time as well, are they? They've gone back in time. So it's not just him. Well, they've already gone through. And then he just fell in.

And then he gets all stuck in this kind of... Tangle up. Tangle up. Tangle up. Tangle up. But the Americans are probably somehow trying to influence the war of independence. Probably. I don't know if that's occurred in Regency Times maybe. Who knows?

There's no way of knowing. What does Regency even mean? Is this a fun thing to say? I barely understand what FOP means and we've based the whole sketch around it. To now? Oh, did we? Oh, no, we didn't write down any other FOP thing. Oh, just FOP. Did you do that a FOP? I imagine if kids these days were arguing the big thing of who would win in a fight between a FOP and a CROC. It'd be nice. I mean, I don't know why anyone was ever arguing about Ninjas versus Pirates. It was a meme in a way. It was a thing that was like a conversational starter. It was before we had just the so much awful things on the internet. It was an early internet. It was an early internet. Before everybody was constantly arguing

and being getting angry about everything. Early internet, when we had to come up with things to argue about. That's right, yeah, we were like searching, we were desperate. Yeah, I guess who would have waited out of these two. But we were far better crock. Or is such a simpler time. Yeah. And what a beautiful thing to argue about, really, I mean, I complain about it. But what a beautiful thing to argue about because nobody cares. It doesn't matter.

Exactly, because I guess there's no real ninjas around these days. But I wonder also if, oh no, don't tell that to Dave Callan. Well, look, Dave Callan has been studying to be a ninja for years. I understand, I understand that, but, and some people really believe that they're ninjas, but they're never going to ever really act as a ninja, right? Yeah, that's true. Because what I want for a ninja to do is to appear behind me in a mostly dark and room and then cut my head off. That's what I want for a ninja. I want there to be a sound like sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you know are when they're portrayed in movies as sort of Well, because their lives were so desperate. Hmm. They their lives were and are So unbelievably tragic what they needed was a bit of fishing equipment

They do feel like people who just didn't realize how to fish and this is always the case when these people are lost at sea and end up having to eat all their crewmates Yeah, like it's the ocean. Yeah This is always the case when these people are lost at sea and end up having to eat all their crew mates. Like, it's the ocean. Yeah. It's full of fish. Especially back then, we didn't have bottomed salt on them. I know, we had that. We had that.

We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that.

We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. We had that. You are floating on a giant, vain, marine full of uncooked lunch. That's right. Why are you eating your friends? Why do you have to kill a cabin boy to eat him? Where there's so much food in the water. Just a dangle near the water with a harpoon.

Eventually something will be curious to even just see what this ship is and then you can stick it in it. What would you need? I think the best thing would be just a net, right? Wouldn't it just be some kind of little net that you could just hang off the back of the boat? And as you float along, you just passively, you're passively catching fish.

This is like passive income, right? You know, those ads that you see online about like, I'd already made $5,000, by the time I got out of bed. How would you like to wake up every morning, know that you'd already paid the months rent? I'd love that. Yeah. Oh, man, I'd love that.

How would you like to wake up every morning, knowing that you already had enough fish to eat for the entire week? You know, and that's what it is when you just live on a boat and dangle its passive fish. Oh my God, you could do that. You could go back in time and give pirates fishing rods or a net passive fishing.

Turn, really turn their lives around. I mean, I guess what do you learn from that? You learn that maybe fish isn't enough for some people. Fish just isn't enough for some people? I guess maybe they didn't like fish. It can be quite a like a difficult taste to get used to. Yes, yes. We can't, I just want to.

Sorry, we don't like fish. I'd rather eat you. I'd rather eat my mates. Give a man a mate he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to make friends and influence people. He'll eat for the rest of his life. Teach a man to... this is Hannibal Lecter, really, isn't it? You know, give a man a human body and he'll eat for a day, but teacher man to conceal his psychopathy behind a veneer of charm and social conformity

and he'll eat for the rest of his life. He's a real genius, isn't he? Just brains with a nice kianty, Farva beans, what's that? Is that mentioned in that? Farva beans and a nice kianty? Had his brain with Farva beans. Now, Farva beans, are they just chickpeas?

No, no, they're quite a big. They're either a green or white bean. So do you eat them in the pod or do you? No, I think that would be like your deep-odd. So you shell the peas. I guess you would cook. You would cook, you could get them out of a can. Sure, Jurekin, he got them out of a can. He probably soaked them overnight.

Yeah, and then, but he would have cooked them in some way, maybe in some kind of bouillon. It's just really interesting. Like I've never had father beans. I think you interesting. Like I've never had farfabines. I think you probably have. I've never had farfabines. You've definitely had farfabines. Why would you...

Well, we just had a falafel. Was it green inside? Yes. That was farfabines. You mean what the most recent thing that I had was farfabines? That's, I think that's Egyptian, Egyptian filophils. I would go green inside because they're made with fava beans. Oh, never has the, the, the, about face between my seemingly justified outrage and my complete

and utter downfall be more swift. I was, I was just getting up to speed as well. You know, I just dropped the clutch. Then the entire engine leaps out of the bottle and a big sputtering mess in front of me. No, no, no, no. I'm going to continue to argue my side of the thing. I haven't yet had set up to defeat. This is what you got to do these days. You never back down, you never apologized.

I never said I hadn't eaten farbubines. This is new internet times. No, this is not Ninja's versus Pirates. This is going to be me, Farbubines versus you, no farbubines. We are now post being caught out in a lie very very quickly That could become the standard it could be so maybe soon it'll be rude to to admit defeat You go, oh you made us all feel bad by admitting you know that you were wrong. Can't you just Continue to like as if you admit that you're wrong, and then we all have to kind of started meeting that we're wrong. It is

it is like We admit that you're wrong then we all have to kind of started admitting that we're wrong. It is like we live or you know Donald Trump lives in a reality maybe like one that we've discussed previously on the podcast where at every moment all of history is destroyed you know it doesn't existance and illusion because it only exists in our memory so it's not real so none of that really happened so So really, all that exists is the moment and the point that you're making right now. Which is crazy, because all that exists right now then is the moment and the point that you're making right now,

which is that the point. All of that exists is the point that I'm making right now. Yeah. It's crazy. I guess there should be a few times where we just start again. It would be nice.

How about let's start working towards the great restart. If we want to erase everybody's student loans, right? Can we also just erase everything that we said before we were 25? Yeah, but I think the big one is you want to erase everybody's financial scenarios and start it back to zero. Yeah, but there's one thing to get it back to everybody like so it's all even. It's one thing to get your financial situation in order, but if I still have to deal with the embarrassment of like bad fiction that I wrote on my space

when I was 21. Is there some there? That needs to go. Is it still there? I think like the first thing I ever wrote that was a tip, this is so shameful, I was thinking. I don't know what I was thinking. I wrote something and I put it as a note on my space. This message comes from NPR sponsor Indochino. When it comes to personal style, it's not

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But writing about them as if they were an actual type of snake. And then I showed it to my girlfriend of the time and she said, this is about penises. And I was like, oh yeah. Like I hadn't, I was doing some sort of a play on the idea of trousers snakes, but... The idea of trousers snakes. You're treating them like a real type of snake. Yeah, but that doesn't work. Well you were trying to do like a real type of snake. Yeah, but that doesn't work.

Well, you were trying to do like a reversing you window. Yeah, but it's already kind of a, I don't know, it just, as soon as she pointed out to me, and I think it was a really formative thing in my comedy. Yeah. You know, being like the first thing that I tried to write and then realizing, oh, there is nothing here. There is no joke here.

I've just done something, but it's definitely not comedy. I mean, look, who knows if I've evolved at all. Sounds like you have trauma based on this. Anyway, if anyone's able to find Andy's posts, I'd love to see it. If that still exists, I'd love to know so I can delete it. I tried to find my my my space recently Mm-hmm, and I don't think it I don't think it does exist

I don't think they're managing data very well I saw today that they lost all the music that was ever uploaded onto it. Oh, do you? They lost it. Well, that's what I saw today. Do you think it's still somewhere? Well, it's got to be right. They just go just in Timberlake's house or whatever They just they just be a hyperlink or something to it. So they've. And they've just deleted that. They had a backup that they just keep online.

Yeah. That they've forgotten about. Well, not a hyperlink then, but there'd be some sort of vector pointing to some storage somewhere in the internet. And like this would be, this is the thing. There would just be ghost data. If someone doesn't already have this as a term or dark data, right, on the internet. Right. And this is data that is still on there. But nobody has a link to it ever anywhere.

Like it's like a data island. Yeah. And, and you know, it'll, maybe it'll keep being copied and preserved forever. But no one will know how, it's there, no one will know how to get to it. And eventually, in the future, maybe something like 90% of the known data, or unknown data of the internet, will just be made up of this ghost data, like the junk in space.

Well, then that'll be the to scan, big stacks of data to see whether this is... We've got a live one. I'm going to say that, can I show guns? You can absolutely say that. I'll be the one on the table who says that. Absolutely, say that. And so then I guess you're looking for videos and kind of in

document, you'll have analysis tools to give you an idea whether or not things are interesting. So you don't want any of those kind of in document, like you'll have analysis tools to give you an idea whether or not things are interesting. So like, you don't want any of those kind of like system files and things like that, there will be a lot of those system files that, you know, whenever I was young, I used to go through all the like folders in the computer. Do you ever used to do that? Oh yeah, yeah. I used to just go through every folder, just to look what's in there.

Sometimes I would like, if my computer was running slow. Or something wasn't right. I just go in there and I just feel like this just looks like garbage. I just start deleting things. Yeah, I do that. I would like this has got to be slowing the computer down. Whatever this is. Whatever this stuff is.

Program file, that doesn't seem important. Well, all their names are such bullshit. Like this is exactly, this looks like viruses. This is just what viruses would be called. I think sometimes there were things like that. I would find things that were like, this just looks like something like, maybe because I had like a P to P kind of downloading

like a bit torrent type thing that was, that had somehow got some malware and the malware was downloading some stuff on the market. And I go, I'm just down deleting this. Anyway, so we'd be going through the darkness of this dark data, looking for like I guess people's videos of themselves sort of. Yeah, sure. Whatever it is.

It's like metal detecting on the beach or something. It'll all be digital. We're just sifting through and then maybe we'll find like an old song or power or something like that and you'll be like, oh this is good. Or at least interesting, maybe you'll even find a bitcoin. Oh my God. Like that company in Canada, where the guy died and then no one could get into any of the currency.

There was some stories after that. Oh really? We're apparently. They'd taken them all out. They'd taken them all out. Whoops. And had he died sort of almost not from the most natural of possible causes?

I don't know, but now it feels like it could be that. I don't know. Or they just... Maybe it's not even dead. Or they just went, can you, before you die, can you give us those and we'll say that you died. And then we can just keep all this money. That's a great thing.

That's good, isn't it? That'd be so good. We're like, oh yeah, that'd be, yeah, of course, you have all the money. Yeah, yeah, well, that's a great plan. I'll be dead so I won't care. I don't know, you know, what does it mean to me? Doesn't mean anything.

I mean, you know, what would really mean something to me was be not darling. Mm. Anyway. Um, is, is, is dark data exploration? Look, it's like dark data. Because we're making these things world. So is it like Indiana Jones? It is like Indiana Jones, yeah. You're dusting stuff off. But instead, like, instead, you're kind of going through. I think you would have to. It's Cyberpunk Indiana Jones.

It's very super cyberpunk. But the little artifacts that you're gathering are not like a golden statue. They're all like, you know, they're, I mean, I guess you're taking missions. You're having to go find things from people. And then what you're having, what you're coming up against are like

Old defenses, you know and the things like Ancient McAfee Norton antivirus I know what Norton's doing these days. They don't want to see Norton recently. What's he where is he what's he up to What are there any antivirus? I don't have any virus on my computer I think it's all included now in the package Any antivirus? I don't have antivirus on my computer. I think it's all included now in the package. It's done and just Google Chrome is trying to fight it all the time.

Yeah, it's just a constant fight. Yeah. It doesn't seem like it gets as much publicity as it used to. Yeah. Like viruses and that sort of thing. This is more like they find some back doors into it. Like some of those things. What was that thing where it's like, oh, we found a way that we're reading all the

data, and then we go, then they fix that hole and you go, cool. I don't know, El. I've never been really. Sans compelling. I've never really been affected properly by a virus word. You know, that thing where it's like, oh, and then it ruined my whole computer. I think, probably, that doesn't even happen and people just are idiots and then they go, oh, I'm going to the hard drive and start deleting

All the things they don't like to look at Yeah, like me go. I looks like there was a virus put that there I mean just delete delete delete then you go. Oh, computer's wrecked The virus is destroying the hard drive the whole thing was probably just an insurance scam Yeah, or people who just like didn't do their work for university. And then, like, you know, a virus corrupted the file. I think that's a sketch, the idea that we're unveiling that actually viruses were never a thing. There was, wow.

It's a scam. It's actually just been an excuse the whole time. It's the big opening, and we get some of the world's biggest hackers to reveal it. Yeah. And go, no, yeah, I took the blame for having created that and I did 12 years in jail. But to be honest, I was actually just trying to get away from my family and if I could help,

and if I could help a couple of people out, giving them an excuse for why, you know, their reports late. And, uh, you can't hack into somebody else's computer. You can't do it. That's not possible. It's so complicated. What would that look like? Yeah, it's all just imaginary.

It's all those numbers and letters on the screen. And it's hard to know what they mean. I mean, yeah. You look at it for ages and you're like, what is this? Is that a, like, code and things like that? It takes so long. We have a try to code. And it's here in the name code.

It's a code. It's a code. You can't read it. You can't read it. You need something to, like, you know, somebody to decode it. To be honest, I just look good at a black hoodie. That's it. That was what attracted me to it. I just like those photos. We're wearing a black hoodie in front of a laptop.

Yeah. And they take a photo, but you can't see the face. Which is ridiculous. The light from the laptop screen would light it, illuminate if anyone is trying to... You're getting it at the right angle. But then you got to, you got to edit it out, they edit it out with Photoshop and that sort of thing. You know? Yeah, no, I get it.

So, yeah, so anyway, viruses are a myth. Viruses are a myth. I, um, you know, that would explain a lot. You know, and it's, because it's then it becomes like one of those group psychosis kinds of things where everyone decides that they've got reciprocating elbows syndrome or something because there was a report about it on catalyst and then your elbow keeps everybody's elbow keeps giving back keeps reciprocating I love you elbow. Love you too. Alistair's podcast

Shusha had a very funny episode recently about elbows. Did you listen to it? Yes, I did. You listened to it from College Elbow. I listened to all of College Elbow and I really, really loved it, especially the last long bit. Yeah. Anyway, if you're not listening to Shusha already, chuck it in the ear its way.

Chuck it in the ear on it. Get your ear, hear your ear around it. Well, thank you very much, Andy, for that plug. And listening, you know, I mean, I shouldn't have even revealed that it was College Elbow. I think it's supposed to be called Education Corner or something like that. Learning Corner. Learning Corner, yeah. There you go. Not really giving it all away. Yeah, you're right. I've got three words from a listener who don't need to our patreon Thank you so much to the person who donated to our patreon Would you like to plug out comedy festival show right now? Let's plug a comedy festival show We're doing a show called magma at the comedy festival the upcoming comedy Melbourne International comedy festival and it opens next week

next week on Tuesday. That's insane. That's insane. And we need lots of people to come so that we can just even cover the expenses of putting the show off. Yes. That's our first goal and then our second goal. In some ways, it's our only goal.

Yeah, that's our basic goal. And then if we can do something to address Andy's financial problems, then's our only goal. Yeah, that's our basic goal. And then if we can do something to address Andy's financial problems, then that will also help. But right now, anyway, look, I'm sure some strangers will also come. Magma, Google Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Magmots, the first thing that comes up.

Comedyfestival.com.au. Yes, and I'll put a link down below this as well. And if you're a listener of the podcast, and even if you're not not you can use the promo code tit Long tit that's t.i.t.t.t In all caps all caps and you do a full price ticket and it'll remove $5 from it and make it $20 or whatever 20% off 20% off. That's the tit 20. It's the tit 20 Today's words come from Jonathan Dooley.

John Dooley. Jonathan Dooley. I love your name, John Dooley. Yeah. You know that I do. Yep. Judo, Jodo. Jodo, John Doo.

John Dooley. John-do-ly. Nathan-ly. What? Well, you can't say Jonathan without saying Nathan. Oh, yeah. Jonathan, that's what I call him. Yep. All right, you ready for this?

Third round, baby. Those are the words. Third round, baby. Third round, baby? Third round, baby. Those are the words. Third round, baby. Third round, baby. Third round, baby. Wow. I mean, you know what, the first thing that that makes me think of is a woman, pregnant woman in a boxing fight.

Now, this is not an enjoyable thing to imagine. I love this already. I love this already. But she gives birth in the third round. Wow. And she keeps fighting. Of course. Yeah.

Wow, it's still like, and she's incredible. Because she's dropped like three weight classes in the course of the squad. Oh my god, so that whole thing becomes illegal? No, no, no, it's the only way in which you can unify all the belts. All the belts. Is she fighting people from the lower weight class as well?

Is she fighting two people? No, okay. Well, what it is, is she starts out in heavy weight. Okay. She gives birth. Mm-hmm. The baby comes out. She drops down.

Well, the weight. Right. She keeps fighting. She's still fighting a heavy weight. Right. The afterbirth comes out, she drops down, well to weight. She keeps fighting, she's still fighting a heavyweight. The afterbirth comes out. Yeah, great, round four at the end of round four. She drops down another class, she's band and weight. And then in the next break she does some breast feeding. Drops down another class, just the colostrum coming out. That's enough to just drop it and ticks her over into one more class down.

Was a colostrum. Super feathery weight. Oh great. Super featherweight. This is incredible. Still fighting a heavyweight. Because that's the only way that you can get in a heavyweight bout. Yeah.

Absolutely. Why don't you in there? Don't let you in there. Don't let you in there. You're a really light belt. Yeah, absolutely. They're like you in the light person. Yeah. Yeah. Deep down, you're a super featherweight, but you want that heavyweight title. So you get pregnant. You get super pregnant. Super pregnant. And that, and that opponent is going to work the body. They know that that's the, they know that that's your weakness at this point, right? They're aware that you're going to be wanting to that line. To protect that body. And they're gonna use that to open up,

you know, to open up your guard for your face. So you've gotta be up there with that counter defense. You know, you gotta be, don't defense down. You're like, you don't wanna let anything hit your- You're gonna need, I think a whole lot of it's gonna come down to your footwork. It's absolutely gonna be a big footwork match. Now, of course, what is great about boxing in a,

being pregnant in a boxing match, right, is number one, you've already got tails. So if you're good birth, you've already got, because this is the thing, that's the classic thing, whenever somebody's giving birth in like an unexpected scenario. So I always get some towels. Yeah, but you don't want to throw them in. You want to bring them in slowly,

because if you throw them in, that gives a signal that you're giving up. No, no, no, bring some, get some towels slowly. Get some towels slowly, slide them in. Hand me the towel. Hand me the towel. Yeah, you give birth. I think this could be a report about this, you know.

Can we get some hot water in here? Boxing, because boxing stories are always incredible, and female athletes who do things while they're pregnant, amazing. Like you hear stories about people who run marathons and that kind of thing while they're pregnant. There was a woman who ran a ultra marathon in the UK. She wasn't pregnant, but she pregnant but she was a mother and she was expressing breast milk. And she still, I think I'm not cross-remembering ideas, I think it was this crazy marathon that's like 400 kilometers or something like that across multiple days. And she shaved something like seven hours of the previous record, which was set, I believe, by a man. So, this whole story is insane. That she was doing this, she was expressing breast milk

and she did it in this crazy time. I think I know how she did it as well. I think they told her that her child at the other end was under a car. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. Everything is hot. Yeah. They get super strength, super speed, super hearing. Super hearing, yeah.

Super hacking. Super hacking, super wizardry. I think in X-Men when Jean becomes the Phoenix, I think that was just because her child was under a car. Under a car. Super Phoenix, really. Yes. Super Phoenicianist. Phoenicianry. You know before they invented dynamite when they would do large excavations

right you know of like a for the railroad and that sort of thing. Yeah. It was really sad what they would do is they would drill a hole into the rock. You know now they say they put dynamite in there. Yeah. But they would drill a hole into the rock and they would put a mother's baby into the rock. Now they put dynamite in there. But they would drill a hole into the rock and they would put a mother's baby into the hole. And then they would release the mother and she would be so strong, she would lift up the huge boulder,

just cracking this hillside apart to get to her baby. And then they'd put her back in her cage, start drilling another hole. But people forget, people forget the old ways. Yeah. And how that you've got explosions, things like that. Well, that wasn't, say, that was organic. That was natural.

That was a natural way of doing it. Yeah. These days, it's all you move things using explosives. It's kind of not right. I mean, they could have just done it without the cage. And they probably would have still been sustainable. No, she liked the cage. Oh.

She'd come to like the cage. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Anyway, pregnant boxing matches, very interesting. Yeah, I think that's really good. And it's just how amazing women are. Absolutely. You know, what they're able to do when they're pregnant. I mean, it sounds like they're not making the best choices. I mean, the best thing they could do is give that baby, you know, give the baby to the opponent or something like that, or put the baby in the other corner. Wow. And then the mom will really fight to get that, you know. Maybe those twins as well. Maybe you get the baby and you strap it to the back of your own head, right?

So you have to defend your head. To defend the baby. That's good. Whenever they're punching towards you, they're punching towards your baby that you want to defend. That's true. And they always say, I think when you're trying to teach people to box is that you've got to picture yourself punching through the head.

To the baby. To the baby that's there. Yeah. And, I mean, I guess they could make a little face, pop-pupus, like a head-pupus, but just for the back of the head. Because their babies are small at that time. Very, the mom would have a very strong neck. You know?

Very strong neck. She'd be working her neck. They're getting the... Her strategy was she was working that neck. They should get they get in the her strategy. Why she was working that neck months beforehand We had a whole thing worked out We work in that neck, you know, you know people like normally do sit-ups and they kind of lay on their back And then they sort of curl up and do sit-ups like that. Well, what she does

Yes, she just brings her whole body up. She lays flat on the ground I'll leave the leave the She lays flat on the ground. She believes the nick. Lips flat on the ground. Yeah, as the neck flat on the ground lifts her whole body. Just with her neck must be like that. Like a body. Now, are we ignoring the physical impossibility of this? Or does she wedge her face under a bench or something?

To be able to stop her from tipping over? No, she's like a snake. She's just cut straw muscles there. No, but it's not a question of whether or not she's got strong muscles. I'm not saying she doesn't have strong muscles, but you think about it from a balanced point of view. If all that's resting on the ground is the head and you're halfway through getting your legs up in the air, you're just going to flop down onto your legs, aren't you? So you need to wedge the top of the head under a bench.

It'll be funnier to see without the bench though. Well, I know, if you do it quick enough, then momentum. No, I'll stay there. That's not how my bed to work. Yeah, look, it looks, she's laying straight down, right? And then it comes up like that. that momentum. No, I was dead. That's not how momentum works. Yeah, look, she's laying straight down, all right? And then it comes up like that. And then suddenly, she's just like 90 degree angle.

Oh, I said that is not how momentum works. We're talking about conservation of angular momentum, okay? Yeah. Which, you know, she's lying flat on the ground that how much angular momentum does she have? Zero. You can't just then give the bottom half of her body. However, however much angular moment. But she's tensing her neck muscles.

No. I'm tensing my neck muscles right now. You fucker. You low dog. Okay. So she's got this thick neck like that. And she gets into the boxing ring. First thing the opponent notices is she goes, why is her neck so strong? Yeah, I've been worried. She's got these rippled, just like, my abs on her neck. Yeah, neck abs like that. Nabs.

Well, you just, you find out like that, and that's what the Adam's apple and all that stuff was. It's just, that's just neck muscles. You know, properly developed. That's what you find out, is it? That's what she finds out. Right. And then, then, you know, this is Pavlov's gun being hung

on the wall, why would this neck? And then you realize what this neck is about when she has... Pavlov's gun? Whatever. Petrol. Every time he fired a gun, a dog would begin to salivate. Because every time he hung a gun, a dog would begin to salivate.

Because every time he hung a gun on the wall, a dog would begin to salivate because he knew that by the end of the play, that gun would have been fired and there would be some blood he could lick up. That's the dog. That's Pavlov's gun. Anyway. And then that neck reveals its true purpose when they hang that head papuce and put the bed, that newborn on there.

Yes, yes. Read us through the sketches that we've come up with today, Alistair. Anyway, thank you John Dewey. Thank you John Dewey, that was a lot of fun. Yeah, we've got reading tea leaves and drinking books. Third round, baby. Third round. Do you think that was John Dooley's third set of

Could be three words third round, baby. Oh, that would be that's what it would mean Third round John Dooley Hackers versus magicians or wizards versus hackers Trevor you prefer. I know which one I prefer I don't I wasn't listening. Great. And then we got, then we got, and suddenly that one's just, you know, that's gonna be great.

That's tech versus a magic, real magic. Fop Dundee. Yep. That's where he goes back in time. Goes back in time because the Americans are testing time machines in the outback. And he has to, because the government did a deal with the, you know,

the Americans. C.I.A. And then he has to join this sort of suit making kind of. I think we've got to work out some of it. Yeah. It's not making true, but he finds out, you know, he's kind of his life is settled and he's adapted to this thing. And then he realizes that the Americans are up to something and they're changing here's history. He tries to do that thing with a did in a subway where he walks over everybody's heads but everybody's wearing those old helmets with the spike on the top and he pierces his foot. Oh no. Is this in Germany?

In ancient Germany? Yeah, he's got the kaisers Germany. Then we've got, this is kind of not 100% a sketch, but it's a give a man a friend and he'll eat for a day and teach a man, teach a man to sit a user's charm and- You can see all his inherent sociopathie. Yeah, and he'll eat forever. Whatever, it's kind of an interesting idea. If you talk, you know, you make more stuff about cannibals, you make stuff about cannibals

before. Then we've got the the dark data Indiana Jones is where you go into these dark recesses of... Now, are you picturing it in the VR world as well? The VR kind of world. Because I think that's what you gotta do to make it visually interesting. Unfortunately, it'd be great to show the reality of it

which would just be endlessly trolling at a computer screen. But they won't let you show that in Hollywood anymore because they cowards. Absolutely. And we're cowards. Oh yeah, more to the point so away. And then we got this whole video, which is an expose on how viruses are myths and they're actually. You can't hack into computers. That's bullshit. That's like a box.

Yeah, it's like a box. Like the only way you could get into it is if you had a screwdriver and you were at the actual once you got into it What would you do is just wires and stuff? Like the best way to get into the computers you just got to get the mouse you got to turn it on yeah I know the password yeah, yeah, or else it's just it's pretty much hopeless impossible. You ever forgotten your password? You can't get back in And then we got a pregnant woman Unifying if you can't remember your password. And then we got a pregnant woman unifying. If you can't remember your password,

how am I gonna work it out? Yeah, well I just can't. I've never even met you, just guess. Guys, how many words are this? There must be thousands. There must be hundreds or thousands. And the appropriate woman unifying boxing belts through going into the head of a weight

and dropping weight through it. That air well, wait, then drop in wait. Oh, yeah, that's right. That round, baby. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Thank you so much. Thank you so much for listening. We really do appreciate it. Please do book tickets and come along to magma at the comedy festival. If you're in Melbourne or near Melbourne or one of those incredible listeners who seems to be in the United States, states and has come here anyway for the comedy festival and it's going to see our show. We're looking at you, Brian. We're looking at you, Brian. We're not looking at you.

Don't. I am. Oh, or else looking at you, Brian. We're not looking at you, don't. I am. Oh, or else looking at you. But we are so excited, and please do come along. And you can follow us on Twitter at 2 in Tank, and on an ListerTV. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. You can review us on iTunes, and that makes us feel nice.

Sure does. You can support us on Patreon. Yeah, if you don't feel like you have it in you to say nice words on iTunes, feel free to support us financially on patreon.com slash till and tank. But if both of those are out, feel free to recommend us in person to one of your closest friends. Pick one of the episodes that you're the least embarrassed about listening to. Yeah. Good luck.

And then maybe suggest that as an entry point. Yeah, if you're playing cards with people, playing cards, and you're all people who don't want to talk while you're playing cards, put on the podcast and let that distract you. Yeah, perfect. Great. What a beautiful scenario. And we distract you. Yeah, perfect. Great. What a beautiful scenario. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.

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