Two In The Think Tank - 176 - "THRILLING BATH"

Episode Date: March 26, 2019

Calm War, TB, Animal Lists, Smell Bulb, Uri VS David, Yo Yo Runner, POV PotOur Melbourne Comedy Festival show is for sale here: use the promo code TITTT for 20% off full price tickets (unfortunately t...his code isn't live until a couple of days from now, if it doesn't work, wait a bit then try it)Thanks to Harry's for supporting this episode! Visit harrys.com/thinktank for a special deal offering $13 worth of FREE SHAVING STUFFHey, why not listen to Al's new meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereNewborn thanks to George Matthews for producing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Progressive casualty and trans company in Affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Alistair, you know what this means? We're talking before the song and that can only mean one thing. Oh, is it ads?
Starting point is 00:00:51 It means ads. It means the spell, the spell. The spell. The spell that is cast over all of us. When we crack open a new trial pack from Harry's Rays' and we get that vague waft of that minty face cream, you know, the foaming gel, you know. Your eye catches the handle. Your eye catches the weight of the handle. You can sense the weight even just by looking at it because it's so palpable, you can palp it, you know, and then what's that there just to the side of the blade? Why, that's the travel case. Oh.
Starting point is 00:01:26 And so many other things as well. And more besides that we will reveal later on in this episode of two in Let's Just Do The Song. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr You know, and we've been tired before, and episodes of Blow and Way Out, but here, we've made the mistake of not booking the booth and do go on and coming in after us to record their podcast, and you know what they can be like. Oh geez. Brode hell. You do not want to cross that trio.
Starting point is 00:02:17 No, absolutely not. And personally, that number was, and do you remember there was a time when we had done an episode when we were tired and we were like, oh, this will be known as the tired episode. And then since then we have been tired on stop. This is now known as the tired podcast. Look, that may or may not be true.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I've listened to a fair bit of the worst idea of all time. And I think they have sounded so much more tired than we ever had. And they're way more successful. So I think we've just got to push on. They seem like such lovely gents. They are some of the loveliest of gents, very funny people. Anyway, listen to the worst idea of all time.
Starting point is 00:02:53 We've got to, we don't have, it's not like we're in a rush to come up with sketch ideas. We've merely gone with the, this is the worst organized idea of all time, this one. Oh, absolutely. Okay. How about this? What do you think is the worst organized idea of all time? No, sorry, you go, you tell us your thing. How about this? What do you think is the worst idea of all time? No, sorry. You go. You tell us. You all think, how about this? I want to hear yours.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Is it, could you have a business that's based entirely off of podcast recommendations? Because that's the thing people seem to want. And it's the only thing I want to talk about. It's like man, what did we talk about before we had podcasts to recommend to one another? Well, we used to not have to recommend things because you couldn't access things outside, access things outside of the time that they were originally played. So you could say, oh, you should watch this documentary. If ever it appears on television, never again, when you happen to be
Starting point is 00:03:42 nearby, like, and and back in the day, I never looked at a TV guide or anything like that. I never knew what was coming up on TV. You would just switch it on and just hope that there was something tolerable. I remember one time I got home. I was being babysat by my auntie. And we as a family always watched the bill,
Starting point is 00:04:03 not with my auntie, the rest of my family, she was babysitting, so she was over. And so she wouldn't watch. And I was late at night, right? And she, well, I don't know what she watched, she wasn't there, okay? Anyway, late at night, me and my auntie, I switch on the TV and it's a police procedural, and I'm like, I just told my auntie, it's okay, we're allowed to watch this. It's the bill, right? Because it was police. And I was like, we always watch this.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And then it just proceeded to become one of the most grim and harrowing stories of just like appalling, appalling things happen to each other. And that's when I realized I think that there were other shows that had police in them that weren't the bill. And my auntie at some point said, I don't think we should be watching this. We had to turn it off. But that's that's what it was like. Was it the shield? Could it be in the shield? Yeah. I think that was pretty grim. Yeah, man. Really bad things were having to be. I assume didn't deserve it. I want you to know, Handy, that if I am ever watching television with your children, and I want them to call me anti-al, is that I will never stop them from watching things.
Starting point is 00:05:16 I will say, I think we definitely should be watching this. You need to learn about these things. Early. You need to learn that there are different types of police shows. That's an important lesson. Not everything's in the bill. I mean, look, I think your parents were doing the wrong thing exposing you to the bill. I think you're probably right.
Starting point is 00:05:35 You know, to get away. Early. The word early, it means to arrive. Wait. Like an Earl would. Like an Earl. So what was he saying? Do they, are they known for being timely? Tymal. It's a time Earl. Because of course, Doctor Who is a
Starting point is 00:06:02 time Lord. It means you could have a time Earl, a time Baron. Love to be a time Baron. You could be a time Count. A time Count? Well, that's just a watch. All clock. Man, all right, where are we? Are these less than a decade ago?
Starting point is 00:06:21 These aren't sketch ideas. Well, we're building time, Alistair. We're not some kind of time Baron here. We're the least time, we are time barren but B-A-W-R-E-N, and that we don't have very much of it. And that we can't do those two gold people are breathing over our necks and into our mouths. They're giving his mouth to mouth. We've passed out, Andy, and we're being brought back to life. Man, I hope this is all just an hallucination before I am brought back to life. How many festival starts tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:06:49 How many festival starts tomorrow? And we have been working on our show. It feels like constantly for months and got nowhere. No, it's just going great. If you're listening to this, it means it is the opening day of the comedy festival and you should absolutely book a ticket and come and see the show tonight. Oh, later on, anytime, it'll be great, all of the, oh my goodness.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Andy's panicked voice sound is due to calmness and certainty. Yeah, are there any people panic? He's one of those calm panickers, you know? I think so. So he's a calm panic, so he panics because of the calm panickers, you know? I think so. So he's a calm panicker, wait. So he panics because of the calm. Yeah, yeah. Nothing that's happening.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Nothing's going wrong. No, that just says like regular, rather than the anxiety, doesn't it? Yeah, but I think if we call them calm panickers, can we just make a person with anxiety be much more fun like that? Because I guess in a way it's probably also got some mania in there. Oh, that is more fun though, isn't it? Chuck a bit of mania or anything.
Starting point is 00:07:55 What about this? What about a very calm war? Like everybody is murdering everyone, but nobody is in a rush. Everyone is quite legubrious. I think it'd be quite pleasant to watch. I mean, if anyone's using the word legubrious. Legubrious, you've clearly got time. You've got time.
Starting point is 00:08:16 When you could just say, oh, it's nice. This is quite a nice war. You go, geez, what a legubrious time we were having here in this conflict. I think that's a scare, shall we say? Carm war. Carm war? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I'm going to write Carm war. I think Carm warfare, because I mean, war's bad enough without being stressed. Absolutely. Totally. And I mean, it's like it's the guided meditations of war. It's the, it's the, it's sort of the weekend away of war. Has this been done in war? In a war sketch of some kind,
Starting point is 00:08:54 somehow they mix up a Roma therapy gases with like the mustard gas. So they launch a whole lot of patchouli oil, say, at the opposition trenches, and they become incredibly calm. And then on the other side, they fill up their... What's there? There are trebuchets. These are people from quite an old reward.
Starting point is 00:09:18 They're usually mismatched. Yeah. They fill up their trebuchets, and they like the stuff inside. It turns out to be, they think up the trebuchets and they like the stuff inside. It turns out to be they think it's dynamite And it is dynamite for curing you Exactly. It's actually just incense and then they send that over and they're like I feel like doing some dusting Pot-pory
Starting point is 00:09:43 And potpourri. Potpourri. That's pronounced potpourri. We always pronounced it potpourri growing up. And then I think I saw in a British crime procedural, maybe this was after we'd started watching other ones. Maybe this was Jonathan Crick. I think I saw someone refer to as potpourri. And I thought, well, that's fun.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Yeah, but then you also remember that the French don't pronounce the the consonants at the end of the verse I was pronouncing it French. No, I know but purée would be French purée. Yeah, purée purée purée pour pour pour purée hmm Po yeah Rotten part
Starting point is 00:10:20 Paul pot purée Paul pot purée He could be one of the guys in this war. That'd be so nice. One of the sense of the war. Well, we've got calm war. How about exciting bath? I mean, why not?
Starting point is 00:10:43 Why not flashing lights? I think that'd be actually look pretty, rave bath. This must be a thing, because you have bubble raves. Yeah. But, But you never just have a regular bath rave.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Yeah, never just a bath rave. Yeah. I mean, I think actually flashing lights underneath bubble bath. That move. That move? That could be quite fun. It's smoking the air in lasers that go through them, create the lattice of lasers.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Yeah, sure. Yeah. Because everything is, and you're right, you're absolutely right, Alistair. Everything about bars is all about calming them down. I say, take a couple of fingers. Yeah, absolutely. But not even like good, good euphoric ones. Take really rushy ones. Ones that are mostly in fettamines. What actually are bath salts? Bath salts are a drug of some kind, aren't they? I'm not sure. Is it PHP or something? It's the euphemism for some kind of. Yeah, it's either PHP or Angel Dust. What's with your own PHP? I don't really know. I think those
Starting point is 00:11:40 are the ones that end up leading to people. You know, like, there's always somebody rolling on theator was on in Terminator 1, they just assumed it was some guy on PCP. Yeah, they pick up cops with one arm and they throw them, like that. Yeah, exactly. We're experimenting with PCP in, you know, that would really ruin calm or, you know, because I guess that was the thing the Nazis used a lot of methanephetamine, I think. And-
Starting point is 00:12:30 Trying to make super soldiers. But I think it's a thing that it goes back. It goes back to like, you know, the Vikings used to choose some kind of a thing that would send them berserk or something. Or maybe I'm remembering World of Warcraft. Either way, it happened in the past. I mean, it's like in South America,
Starting point is 00:12:46 people would chew coca leaf or whatever. And I think people in like Taiwan, they chew beetroot nuts or whatever, you know, I think that's a, there's all things that have stimulants in them that people chew and get a bit of a kick out of it. It's always chewing. It's always chewing.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I mean, it's something to do. We've really removed the chewing from a lot of the recreational drug use, haven't we? Yeah. You no longer have to chew all these things. Yeah. But we've added the stamping. It was more stamping.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Oh, now you just grind your teeth, don't you? Well, you really do grind your teeth, yeah. I think rave bath is a thing. Yeah, but I think it needs to be more exciting. It's like it needs to be like, sure, rave bath is a thing. Yeah, but I think it needs to be more exciting. It needs to be like, sure rave. But what about like a SWAT team comes in? But how is that then a practical thing for people to, oh, you know, but I guess that is.
Starting point is 00:13:36 I guess that is a practical thing for people to, you know, it's just a service that you sign up for. You know, and these things occur while you're having a bath. I mean, of course, I think that would really make baths exciting. It's a whole lot of precipitous electrical equipment, sort of dangling or balancing over the water. Exciting bath. Exciting bath, you know. It's like, it's like the movie The Game, which we love on this podcast. Which you love on this podcast. Because it's a real concept film. You don't
Starting point is 00:14:06 get many of these anymore. It's all like, I'm going over here, I'm going to go visit so and so in Italy. So it's that movie. That's not a concept where people, rich people, pay to have an experience that feels so real happen to them. And then after they have that first one, you know, it's involves being kidnapped, getting it embroiled in some, you know, some political thing or your wife or, you know, getting embroiled in your wife. Getting embroiled and, you know, your wife gets kidnapped or she turns on you and then tells it. My wife and I, we've really become embroiled in each other's lives. Absolutely. Broiling. You seem broiling.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Broiling apparently is like, is that like baking and boiling? No, you'd think it would be that. That's what I think it is. No, but it doesn't involve any water. I think it's just grill. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's water involved.
Starting point is 00:14:56 No, there's no water. There's water involved. There's water in everything. So in that way, you know, Thank you. You know, entirely incorrect. Anyway, so it's that, but you have a bath. It's this place where you go to,
Starting point is 00:15:08 and it's just called exciting bath, and you go in there, and they don't even tell you, like they get you to sign a thing to say, you wave all your rights. All of them. All of them. All of them, every right. Like that, and then you basically, like, then it's up to you.
Starting point is 00:15:28 It's just like, this is the alternative for the, it's the, it's, it's, if you buy your wife a spa time, like, you know, it's finally, you can get, it's the spa for the man who wants to keep exciting with the man spa. Man spa. And obviously, it's also for women. Obviously, it's also for women. Obviously, it's also for women.
Starting point is 00:15:46 But it's a man's bar. Man's bar is for everyone. Man's bar is for everyone. Man's bar is for everyone. Man's bar is for everyone. Man's bar is for everyone. Man's bar is for everyone. It's just, it's a dumb man experience
Starting point is 00:15:56 where you want to be scared while doing something that's for you. I think they release some kind of animal into the morning. Yes, yes. That one that goes up your dick pipe. That's not real. It's not real. It's one of those snapping turtles, though. Those are that one that goes up your dick pipe. That's not real. It's not real. One of those snapping turtles though, those are real and they could take your dick off. I know, but these these ones, I wonder if there's a list of anywhere of
Starting point is 00:16:12 all the animals in the world that could take your dick off. How about this? So that creature that goes up the stream of your penis. Yeah. Oh, the stream of your piss. That's not real, but it's based, there's, you know, it's probably partially based off of a creature that people have actually seen and that they fear. So we release that creature into the bath. Whatever that is. Whatever that is. Could be a piranha. Sure. A single piranha. Let's do it. What about my offer about the list of all the animals in the world that could take your dick off? What's that? Was it you offered me that? I mentioned it in the middle there, just as a comedy suggestion.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Wait, but it's just you give them a list? Yeah, it's an unrelated list of every animal in the world that could take your dig off. Right. Or it's a TV show called could it take Yiddik off? It's a good idea Because I think there's you know, I think there's big creatures I think there's small creatures all of whom could take that you dig off in their own way like a crab or a horse You know, oh The horse the horse of course the horse. Oh, the crab, not brutal. Well, I think the crab is like a snipping.
Starting point is 00:17:29 It feels more surgical, doesn't it? Yeah, I think it's just, even once the horse has bitten through, it's still so close to so many sensitive things with so much big mouth. So much big mouth. So much big mouth. You're right. Whereas the crab, it feels like, I mean, I'm picturing a small cute crab.
Starting point is 00:17:52 So you might be picturing some... I'm picturing a pretty big crab. I'm picturing one of those ones that crawls on across that island where David and Brighot goes and they're all going across a road. Those tiny little ones, little... They're pretty big. They're big, they're too big to do a huge migration. They're pretty big. They're big, they're doing a huge migration.
Starting point is 00:18:05 They're all big. Coconut crabs? Maybe coconut crabs, yeah. Maybe I'm picturing a coconut crab. Yeah, well that would be scary, but then you would see that coming. Not that horse, though. I know, but a horse.
Starting point is 00:18:17 A horse you would naturally allow near your groin. Because it feels like it's bowing, you know, so that you can scratch the top of its head. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's a majestic thing that you can scratch the top of its head. Yeah, yeah. It's a majestic thing to do. It's showing you respect. I think what the horse has done right is that it's put its eyes and the top of its head so far away from its mouth that you forget, I think, like the mouth can be a lot closer to you than you would otherwise expect. Because you look at the eyes and we're used to assuming that the eyes and the mouth are more or less in the same plane
Starting point is 00:18:50 But that is absolutely not the case for the horse which I think might be the creature with the greatest eye to know It's a mouth distance Hmm be very interesting to find that out maybe someone should come up with a list animals The greatest eye to mouth distance to find that out. Maybe someone should come up with a list. The animals. The greatest eye to mouth, distance. I mean, what about whales? Oh, whales, of course, but that's cheating, isn't it? Because they're just so big.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Yeah, but then you could come up with some other thing where it's like, well, you know, but in terms of ratio of body length. Yeah, but then, yeah, right, once we're splitting hairs over this, I mean, we've given up on the vision that we originally had. But what you're getting, what are you getting to, is you're getting a full series of episodes of this whatever show this is, where you read out lists of animals based on some random criteria. Animal lists.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Animal lists. Animal lists. Undescovery. Yes. I mean, it was a leneas, the leneian system of animal classification. So he was the first guy who did this, right? Who came up with a leneas. He came up with the classifications of animals.
Starting point is 00:20:02 He's the one who I think originated the scientific name format, where you have two sort of words, ones the genus and ones the species or whatever and they're both some obscureantist glossaroni eye, right? Crocodilus, coni amus. Yeah. He's better at this than me. No, why? Yeah. And so that was him, right? But I think, and he would classify them into different groups. Let's have a meet up late enough, or after you finish your sentence. Well, just, I just want to say that what if one of these classifications?
Starting point is 00:20:38 Because I think they're to do with, you know, the number of legs and the habitat. And whether it had hair and whether it produced milk, anyway, what if one of them, one of the classifications was whether or not it could take you dick off? That is all I was gonna say. I just started at one last time, say, it could take you dick off. It could take you dick off.
Starting point is 00:20:52 It could take you dick off. In the podcast, now I'm done. I've got a random assist in. All right. Off stop. Basilone is carsemonity. Okay. Samantha. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Uh, uh, uh, uh, Ripei. Verentah-ness. Porsentenei. Corsinacius. How have you already said you're better at than me? Basilicus Mortonon. I think you already said basilicus. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Anyone interested to listen back? Sintai, Naks, Jemeraquai. Jemeraquai. I don't know if it's Jemeraquai. Well, Alistair's gonna sneeze. No. No, he's not gonna sneeze.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Why do what happens to all the sneezes that you don't do? They're all the lost socks. I'm gonna try her. Yeah. They all go somewhere together. They all go somewhere. They all go to some sort of heaven or they're never born. This is the tragic thing about the sneezes that never war.
Starting point is 00:22:00 They never existed. No, they are born. Now born? Yeah, yeah. They're just not airborne. Ah. They're mouth-born and they get swallowed. Or they go into your nose.
Starting point is 00:22:11 I think that's because that's what all that's not that goes in your nose is. But this is the thing. When I sneeze, nothing comes out of my nose. You know what perfect place to sneeze would be into a sock? We should just carry a bunch of socks at our pocket so that you can sneeze into them.
Starting point is 00:22:26 And then you could just throw them away. I think that would also probably look quite funny. And if you held it up to your face like that, sneezed into it, you would really come out like a trunk. Yeah, it would feel like a wind sock. And then what do you do with that sock? You look like Mark Marin right now. Me?
Starting point is 00:22:42 Yeah. You look like Mark Marin. I've got a mustache. You've got a Me? You look like Mark Maron. I have got a mustache. You got a mustache, you can't even get wearing headphones. Got a bit stumbling here. I think you've lost a bit of weight recently because of all the sickness you've had. I have been so sick.
Starting point is 00:22:57 This is pretty much... This is the most sick I've ever been. The last three, four weeks has just been one thing after another. Do you think the audience wants to know what's happened to me? I might have already told them about my first bout of diarrhea in vomiting. Bout of diarrhea in vomiting lays me up for about four or five days. And then the last day I'm laying in bed and I'm like, I've got a pimple on my nipple. So I'm like, that's a bit weird, never had that before. Anyway, I squeeze it. Right, thinking that's what you do with pimbbles.
Starting point is 00:23:25 And then the next day, it's all sort of weird and sort of looking a bit gross. I'm like, well, I'll squeeze that again. Anyway, it proceeds to become an infected boil. And then it becomes this huge abscess on my nipple, like a cavern. And I get a fever. I spend another day in bed.
Starting point is 00:23:44 And I go and get antibiotics. And those don't work. And then I go and get more antibiotics. And I spend another day in bed, and I go and get antibiotics and those don't work, and then I go and get more antibiotics, and I've got to treat this thing, and it's incredibly pain-pussed from it. I've got to squeeze the pus, my wife is lactating, I'm squeezing pus out of it. Everybody in the family is making white liquid from their breast area.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Exactly, and then I get better from that, and then I get diarrhea, I get... And then a cold. And then the get better from that and then I get diarrhea again. And then I called the next day a cult Andy's trying to die so he doesn't have to do episode 200 We're gonna come up with 200 sketch ideas. I think my body knows what's coming and it's just it's cutting out all the dead wood Right. It is getting all of this stuff out of the white. Can we eat that wood? Yes, we can eat that wood Yeah, we can boil Andy's dead wood Dead wood. Dead wood.
Starting point is 00:24:25 That's a TV show. Yeah, I know, what about this? Wood, dead. Is there anything in that? No, but do you think that dead wood is actually really a good TV show? I really, all these things that are such big cultural things, we need to, we need to absolutely blank slate it again
Starting point is 00:24:42 and then reassess everything afresh. I don't care that Orson Wells's citizen Kane was hugely revolutionary at the time. If you watch it now it's a terrible film, it's incredibly boring, right? So let's just reset it. Every five years we rewatch everything. Could somebody just re-edit it to make it better now? Oh my God, absolutely they could. Like I mean, as an reader's digest been sort of shortening books for like, for however long, can't somebody just fix,
Starting point is 00:25:15 you know, Fritz Lang's, Metropolis and can't somebody fix this more, Morton Lang or whatever you were talking about. Yeah, Morton Lang. I have about this. I know this is a dumb idea. Yeah. And that this is in the vein of the kind of ideas we come up with when you know many ideas. You know, light bulbs. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:43 About this smell bulb. That know, light bulbs. Yes. About this smell bulb. That's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. It's really interesting. See, what, but what does light allow you to do? Look.
Starting point is 00:25:56 It allows you to look. So light shines out from the bulb. Right. And it bounces off everything. Right. And then it bounces into your eye. That doesn't really work with smell, right? Because the smell doesn't really bounce off anything like that.
Starting point is 00:26:09 What if it was, and it doesn't, like smell doesn't illuminate other smells. Well, maybe we don't, maybe, what is this? What is this? What is this? Okay, what if, okay, instead of light coming out from the smell bulb, right? It's a jet of water, jet of sort of hot water. It's squirts onto objects
Starting point is 00:26:28 around it, it's just sort of vibrates and pulses, right? And it breaks up the surface of all the objects, right? Causing them to release their natural smell. And now you can smell everything. So it breaks down whatever oxide gets formed on the top that prevents the thing from having its smell. It's natural smell escaping. So I mean, it's sounding like a pretty hostile environment in which to live and to enjoy the smell bulb. But what you could do.
Starting point is 00:26:54 That's just another step we've got to- What you could do is you could wear the smell bulb lotion. So if you put the lotion, yeah, protects you from that thing. You put the lotion on your skin. Or else it gets the smell bulb again. Well, no, protects you from that thing. You put the lotion on your skin. You put the lotion on your skin. Or else it gets the smell ball, but yeah. Well, no, no, you want the smell ball. Sure. And so you wear the goggles and you put none of the thing
Starting point is 00:27:11 like that and you go in there into the room. And you just put, it's just a ball that has batteries in the bottom and you can just sit on a table. It's kind of like one of those bug bombs that you have when you're trying to, but you turn it on and you know what, it could make light as well. Why not? Right, and then sprays everywhere and then everything's natural smell starts to come out. Mmm. There are so many things like I couldn't tell you what this table smells like. I don't know what good no idea
Starting point is 00:27:37 I said the mud cups everything has a smell the plastic of this microphone Yeah, everything has a smell. You just don't get to smell it. That's right, because it would just make some of the things airborne. I mean, be great if you just have a little spritzer bottle. Spritzer on there, it dissolves some of it, makes it airborne, you get to smell it. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:27:56 You know why is it great though? What do we get out of this? Well, making a richer world. Oh, knowing more about the world in which you live, is that, you know, knowledge for knowledge sake? You ever heard of that? No. Hey, never heard of going traveling
Starting point is 00:28:09 and experiencing what other cultures have. Well, we know more about the surface of the world than we know about the smell of this microphone holder. That's absolutely true. Mm. It's funny how you can taste some metals though. That's not funny. Like sometimes you get a spoon and you're like,
Starting point is 00:28:29 I can really taste this spoon. Yeah, I think that's poor quality. See, that's what happens after you put the smell bulb on things that after that you will be able to taste it. I think that's really old and that's old metal spoons. It was something they worked out as a kink. I'm right in the smell, bulb down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:48 So there's a kink in a spoon. I'll suspect Yuri Geller is around involved. Yeah, Yuri Geller said that he would stop Brexit using telepathy. I think this is a great thing for him to be saying at this point. Still alive. Yeah, he looks great. He's a really good shape. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Him and David Copperfield should wrestle or something I'm up for that you would you watch that yeah, absolutely would watch that I reckon Yuri Gell is probably I think he looks like he keeps it pretty Pretty tight. Yeah, and I mean I imagine David Copperfield cubes it tape. Do you think that in the pre-match? You know Biffo the the sort of the trash talk? You reckon Yuri Gellar say I'm gonna bend you like a spoon? Sure, I think that's a great thing. I think what do you think? The other guy would say, I'm gonna make you disappear like a building. I'm gonna marry you like Claudia Schiffer. Oh I'm gonna marry my face to your fist like Claudia Schiffer to me.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Am I right that they were married? Yeah, I was waiting for an opportunity to say a Claudia Schiffer thing. Yeah. Is she the one that you look like? No, no, no, that's Cindy Crawford. Oh, I'm sorry. But I don't look like her anymore because I got the mole removed. Because somebody said you look like Cindy Crawford. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't look like I already more because I got the mole removed Because somebody said you look like Cindy Crawford Cindy Crawford. Yeah somebody said it when I was really young
Starting point is 00:30:13 Yeah, that age, but I think that's also a good age to get moles removed probably right I don't know I look I have a scar than your own face. Mm-hmm. You. You get your chance to sort of grow into your face then. That scar is just part of you now. That's right. But nobody really sees the scar or it would do that. Do you see the scar? I didn't until you mentioned it just now. Now it's all you can see.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Now that's all I can see. It's sort of filling the room. Yeah. I think... Thought you wish you had a bottle that you could spray again so you could see I could smell the scar I'm a scar. Yes, I do. Is there anything you're kidding? You're a girl This episode is brought to you by progressive Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising
Starting point is 00:31:02 But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who saved by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed,
Starting point is 00:31:23 who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. This account's not available in all safe and situations. There we go, Peel. To wrestle. Andy, at a time like this, when we got to come up with five sketch ideas and under 40 minutes. Yeah, I mean, we've only got 10 minutes left until we go on here. You know?
Starting point is 00:31:41 Yuri Geller. Those guys. Claudia Schu, no, no, versus what's the other guy? David Copperfield. David Copperfield. Yeah. I mean, it could be for... I mean, to decide what's real.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Who's the greatest wrestler of the two? Of the two. I think it's Magician's wrestling. Yeah. I mean, because it's like, you know, when that Irish guy who was in the MMA fought Floyd Mayweather. Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor. Fort Mayweather. That boxer.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Floyd Mayweather. Money, money, Mayweather. Floyd Mayweather. Never was there a name that seemed less likely to be a boxing success. Yeah. Floyd Mayweather. I think I'll look. Floyd Mayweather, he sounds like he should be writing a book
Starting point is 00:32:39 about an extinct butterfly. That's what I expect from Floyd Mayweather. Yeah, sure. I expect him to be wearing jodpas and have a magnifying glass and he lives on in a state in England and he went on some kind of round the world boat trip because he inherited all this money and he investigated an extinct butterfly. Maybe he got a small grant from his local council. And he poured in quite a fair bit of his own money in there to also make up the Christ.
Starting point is 00:33:13 He's doing it for the love. But I'm glad that detailed that he got a small grant from the local council. I guess in mind one, he wasn't rich. In mind he was rich. Yeah, in the whole of the world. rich. In my own he was rich. Yeah, in the whole to us. Inherited well. Oh, inherited.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Yeah, I didn't know that. I think Floyd's got earning potential. Yeah. He frittered away. He's but a fly project. Do Floyd's, is that a double L in there? Is it a double D? I think you can double all the letters in Floyd
Starting point is 00:33:41 and it doesn't affect it at all. Fluid. Not still Floyd, doesn't have a much... Flood Mayweather. That's why he went into boxing because he sound, you know, when you read it like that. Look, anyway, what I was getting at with that was that those McGregor changed codes to fight for money, for extra money and things like that against Floyd Mayweather. And that's what you could do with magicians, you just get these guys, they change codes
Starting point is 00:34:13 because they're probably more money. I reckon one big fight, yeah, absolutely. I want it, you know. And do you think they're going for Greco, Roman, wrestling? Would you count sort of tabletop RPG as being another code of fighting? Sort of like Dungeons and Dragons style, roller dice kind of thing. Do you think anyone from Dungeons and Dragons would ever change codes into the MMA to fight Kodama Gregor or a de-boxic de-fight Floyd Mayweather?
Starting point is 00:34:38 I just, you know, I think if that's what we're very interested in, there's these code changes. I mean, I think we came up with boxing sketches on the last episode Yeah, it was about a pregnant woman boxing. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's a good third round, baby Third round third trimester. Yeah, yeah All right, look we'll call that a sketch. Sure. We can't we can't afford to know a call things a sketch right now No, no, we can't We got three words from a listener. You guys are so lucky to have this sort of
Starting point is 00:35:08 such intense, concentrated episode of Two in the Thing Game. Oh yeah. And look, because we were rushing for time, I could only find the most recent person to have joined up for their three words. So, hello, Brendan French. You showed up in a timely of a hill, it mattered, and you really skipped a queue there because of our rushing. So thank you very much for joining up, Brendan French. Brendan French.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Brendan French. Brendan French. That's it. That name. It's fun to say. It's fun to say. It feels like I'm biting into a salad sandwich. Brendan French say it feels like I'm biting into a salad sandwich. Brennan French. I feel like I'm biting into a friend. I wonder if any foodstuffs have the slogan bite into a friend. Twinkie? I think the friend bar. Let's make the friend bar and then you can say bite to a friend. Bite your mom. I guess fishermen's friend. Maybe they've gone with that.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Do they bite into a fisherman's friend? No, you absolutely don't. I mean, you do once and then you never do that again. Like you learn very quickly that that's not enjoyable. What's with those mints where it's beautiful normal mint on the outside and then you get inside and some fucking insane thing that looks like tiny rat poo. It's very dark and intense and horribly flavoured. Those are LSD microdarts. But then is Fisherman's friends slogan suck on a friend? Suck on a friend. Suck on a friend. Brendan French of, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:36:47 but on a friend, fame. Fame. Came up with three words. And then, and they've got a good, they've got a good real rhythm to them. Oh, that's lovely. This might even be a, what's that, a haiku? Oh.
Starting point is 00:37:00 GoPro. Yo-yo. Quid Pro, Quid. GoPro Pro Yo-yo, Quid Pro. That is how these three words go. I think he's actually... Oh, he looked all... No, take Go Pro's one word. Yo-yo has got a dash between it. Quid Pro is Latin.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Latin. That's all one word. All Latin is just one word. Well, it doesn't. You don't count Latin words. So, technically, he's only one word. All Latin is just one word. Well, it doesn't end. You don't count Latin words. So technically, he's only brought in two words. Oh, wow. Well, then I'm sorry I reject them. Come back to us when you can count to three.
Starting point is 00:37:34 GoPro, yeah, yeah. GoPro, yeah, yeah. Well, I imagine it would be horrible to watch video of a GoPro on a year, yeah. I'd be spinning so much you would just feel nauseated. We all would be meaningless. Quid Pro Quote. I mean, that is, what is that?
Starting point is 00:37:50 That is, you give me something, and I'll give something back. Like a yo-yo. Like a yo. Sure. I guess it could be a sketch about sort of... What would I say the longest ever yo-yo string is that it'd be in the Guinness Book of Records, I reckon.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Oh, yeah. Oh man, there's a lot of that'd be in the Guinness Book of Records, I reckon. Oh yeah. Oh man, there's a lot of people going after that one. Yeah, I mean, I, I, I wasn't. Because it's really just a long piece of string. Yeah. And then you've just put it tighter, yo-yo to it. But then, but you'd have to, it'd have to be functional, right? You'd have to be using it, you know, and going the full length of the yo-yo spin.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Oh yeah. Okay. I was just, I was just, I'm not just talking tie and a string, I really long stringed to a yo-yo. I guess you'd have to wrap it around. And I'm talking about the being the tallest man and the rules are in this yo-yo thing is that you can't have any height aids like you're not allowed to stand on anything. Right, so you've got to have your standing on flat surface, you can hand up there and you're doing the full thing. No height aids. No height aids. So you can't be on the edge of doing the full thing. No hide aids. No hide aids.
Starting point is 00:38:45 So you can't be on the edge of a cliff. You can't be on the edge of a cliff. Even though that's technically a depth aid. That feels like a hide-ed. Yeah, yeah. In practice, it's a lot like a hide-ed. But I think then you've got to be told. But then you also have to stand the same distance from a wall as everybody else?
Starting point is 00:39:07 Because that feels like it's giving you a with aid. Yeah. Oh, but what can you go out? Hey, you can go out, of course. I mean, that's where you're going to. Where do you think you're going to go? I was going to go straight down, but going out. Oh, yeah. So, well, then, then, then the competition is just who's the tallest? Well, exactly. And this is why I want to go up to tall people. This is what I'll say to them. Ah, you're pretty tall. Do you do a lot of yo-yo? That's a great one.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Do you do any long distance yo-yo? Cross country yo-yo? Cross country yo-yo. Cross altitude. Mm, sure. Down country. How's the yo-yo going up there? What's the longest yo-yo you've ever done? If you ever want any yo-yo competitions or you know whatever. Look I think there's some some edge of something. Yeah, I was also thinking what about
Starting point is 00:40:01 corruption within the yo-yo competitions like people who cheat to help out their friends? That doesn't sound like corruption that just sounds nice. No, no, but like it's quite pro-guide. So let's say in your competitor and the your your championships. Okay. Right. And me and my friend, Keel. Keanu. Right. Keel. Are also in the thing, and we're together we're the top three. And it's been a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months
Starting point is 00:40:31 since you've made it in the top two. Mm-hmm. Right. It's me and Keel. Right. And I have a pretty bad round. At the Yo-Yo comp. At the Yo-Yo comp.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Yep. I'm looking like I might come third. Okay. Like that. That is in my first might come third. Okay. Like that. Uh, that is in my first round, but you get three rounds each, whatever. I'm learning a lot about international, Yo-Yo competition.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Keel, Keel has a great, the great round. Mm. Right. Good picture of the headlines now. Keel Hall and his picture of him with all these medals. Yeah, anyway, something he does something to help me get second. Fuck it, now.
Starting point is 00:41:12 Oh, you had nothing. Oh, no, no, no, I can't, it's something like we're like, you know, he just has to, I don't know, he has to like walk the dog, he walks the dog or something like that and then that gives him a lower score. And then that helps me get up to second.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Through to the next round. Yeah, to get through. All right. You know, things like that. So, we help each other out. And then, but he also makes sure you get a really high score in the third one so that you drop out. Oh, well, I mean, I guess that's international.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Yo, yo, for you. Yeah. Look, ups and downs. Look, my yo-yo corruption idea wasn't great. I don't know, maybe yo-yo corruption, he cuts your string or he twists your yo-yo. He put some blue tack in your deck. Give me absolutely nothing for my ups and downs, gag,
Starting point is 00:41:58 as well, I lost it. For a long time, just. I'm just, Paul, I didn't recognize it as a gag. He didn't recognize my yo-yo ups and downs gag as a gag. Yeah, so, I feel like I'm really having to point out all my jokes today, which is making me feel like they're probably very good. I think, you know, you're about as unpopular as a man
Starting point is 00:42:20 wearing scissors at a yo-yo competition. Running with scissors. Running with scissors. Running with scissors. Is that why you can't, you shouldn't run with scissors? You might be a yo-yo partner. You could be, you never know when there's gonna be a yo-yo competition around the corner. And that's why you don't run with scissors.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Oh, I lost it. We didn't do the rest of the ad for Harry's. Okay, we'll do it now. All right, let's do it now. And maybe while we're talking about it, we can come up with some more great ideas for sketches about GoPro, yo, yo, quid pro quo. And well.
Starting point is 00:42:56 All right, here we go. Harry's get $13 value trial set that comes with everything you need for a close comfortable shave, weighted ergonomic handle, five blade razor with lubricating strip and trimmer blade. I've come to really appreciate the trimmer blade and the lubricating strip recently. Absolutely. And I am, you know, I tell you what, I'm making a solemn promise to everyone in the audience
Starting point is 00:43:16 night. I am going to go home tonight and I am going to shave with a Harry's razor. That is, that is, that is I'd clad you can take it. That was solemn. Yeah. That is, that is, that is I'd Claude, you could take that. That was solemn. Yeah, solemn. Rich, lathering, shaved gel. And I don't, I don't think much of the word rich. I don't, when people talk about food being rich, I'm like, that's not a real thing, that's
Starting point is 00:43:36 not a real descriptor. There's no such thing as rich food, right? You just like this. But this gel. But this gel. Oh yeah, that's rich. And the travel blade cover, which Alistair, you have a strong connection to it? But this gel. Oh yeah, that's rich. And the travel blade cover, which Alistair, you have a strong connection to it. Yeah, absolutely. Listeners of my show can
Starting point is 00:43:49 redeem their file, redeem their free, that what listeners of my show can redeem their trial set, redeem your trial set with $13 worth of value at harries.com forward slash think tank. Make sure you go to harries.com forward slash think tank to redeem your offer now and let them know. We sent you to support the show. Harries, it's a razor that's very good. I think it saves you a lot of money. No, like, well, this one saves you a lot of money because you just get the trial set.
Starting point is 00:44:20 But I'll tell you what really saves you a lot of money. The long term when you don't have to pay those big bucks for those multi-headed razor blade heads. From other, you know, from your standard brands. What's other brands? What's other mainstream? We won't even dignify them by saying their name. No, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I don't want to spread their poison into the world. They're doctrine of hate. Is that too strong? No, I think robbing you of money, that is, I mean, they're not doing that out of love. And what is something that isn't love? Hate. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:44:56 GoPro, yo, yo. I mean, what about this? Just a guy. He's got a big Santa sack on his back. It's filled with gopros. And he runs around and he just throws him at people and really hurts them. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Okay, who knows what happened? Who knows? Well, this is interesting. It's the beginning of a film. Well, the yo-yo, the gopro is so robust. Right. It is probably the first camera that you could use as a weapon. Right?
Starting point is 00:45:30 Like you could bludgeon people with. At least throw. And that's scary. Put into some kind of melee weapon. No, melee is. What's the ones that you throw? Throwing weapon. Throwing weapon.
Starting point is 00:45:42 But what's, you know like that you know that That pouch that you kind of create it's like a it's a sling no sling. Yeah, you go pro in a sling go pro in a sling and really chuck it like that Hmm, I think I think it would would would have been really interesting Would be to go back in time and put a GoPro on some of those, you know medieval Trebuchets and that sort of thing and really see what that looks like. Well, I mean, think of how amazing the footage of the First World War would be if every one of those bits of, what's the thing they should up in the air? Yeah. Artillery?
Starting point is 00:46:20 Artillery had a GoPro on it or was a GoPro. This is actually... It was being uploaded to the crowd I mean quite literally in some cases because you launched them up into a cloud of course and then of course you download them download them onto people's bodies yeah yeah, it's actually a bit horrible yeah, but you could you know if you were worried about what happened to your loved one You could you could find you could find out. Yeah. I mean, it's not ideal No, but you could piece it together and really get a sort of a full idea of what happened during that war
Starting point is 00:46:53 Mm-hmm in times. So and is that bad? Is that bad? Like I mean that because that feels better to me because that would this would be a lot more closure for people. And I know it seems like a flippant idea. But it seems like, you know, there's more information. The people, you know, people think that leaking stuff through WikiLeaks is good, then shouldn't you think that this is good? It's more information that you didn't have. Yeah, but people want to know about the horrors of war. They should really see things from the perspective of a... Piece of ammunition. Ammunition. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:34 And the people who don't agree with this idea is it because the quality of the footage of a GoPro isn't good enough. Is that what you're complaining about? Mm-hmm. Is it you want like a red camera or like one of those Sony ones that are also quite good? It's good that you acknowledge the other companies who are also making good cameras. Sony, Panasonic, yeah. I don't know, this is making me, I don't quite feel it as a sketch yet, Elis there. Like, what did you see things from the perspective of a piece of military hardware?
Starting point is 00:48:16 Would you say that bullets are a bad thing? Bullets have a bad thing. Maybe? Well, maybe I would. Maybe this is finally about time that we start seeing things from their point of view. It's a really good point. Yeah. And it's fine.
Starting point is 00:48:34 We already have five sketches. So we can just not write it down. You're worried. I'm worried because, well, look, I'll just be totally honest. It reminded me of recent events, appalling recent events where a guy was wearing a goat, had a GoPro on his gun. About halfway through, I started thinking about that.
Starting point is 00:48:51 And then I thought, I think, I thought, this is just, it just made me sad. Andrew, I'm glad that you brought that up, and I apologize. No, it's not. But I want you to know that the GoPro's that I was thinking of were too big to fit on though. That's a huge load off my mind. I mean it sounds like a big load on whoever's gun you were putting it on. The size of this GoPro. No, I wasn't putting it on guns.
Starting point is 00:49:18 I was putting it on. Nives. Archillery. I think a GoPro on a kitchen knife would be quite good. I don't know. I haven't seen that in any of these cooking shows. I mean look I've seen a GoPro on a can opener and I've seen a GoPro on one of those masks. One of those mashed potato cross-roading things, right? But no, never a knife, yeah. You're right. Oh, it's the unovestible peeler. I think, I think.
Starting point is 00:49:51 You know what? I've even seen a GoPro on a ball scraper. I think this is a cooking show. I think absolutely. It's all filmed with unique perspective. Well, the point of view of the knife, sure. But then we also put a GoPro inside a cabbage. Well, the point of view of the knife, sure. But then we also put a GoPro inside a cabbage. And then the point of view of the cabbage
Starting point is 00:50:09 is the cabbage is being chopped up and you see the happening in there. Look up at the blade, you know, as it comes down towards you. And then you also see the GoPro inside the pepper grinder. You see all those bits turning around. There's a GoPro there inside the oven, inside the blender. Outside the blender. Outside the blender.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Yeah, outside the blender. Yeah. Oh, what about a GoPro inside your hand so that you can see what it looks like when you're holding the knife from the inside of the hand. Yeah, well you get the knife, the knife does get very close to the fingers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you even run the back of the blade against the fingers, which is like what it's like you've really got to imagine being the fingers in that scenario.
Starting point is 00:50:53 I can't imagine what it would be like to be a finger. I mean, intense point of view cooking show. Maybe not a sketch, but boy, what a fascinating insight from the other side of the knife. That's what you'd call it, the other side of the knife. The dark side of the knife. Oh, up inside the chuck when you're stuffing it, looking out the hole. That'll be good. The fistfuls of stuffing being shoved in there. That's my favorite one so far, or especially as you're making a turduck.
Starting point is 00:51:29 There'll be a camera in each one. In each one. Would you like to take us through the sketches that we've come up with if that's the right word today, Alistair? Carmore. Just a carmore. Yeah. Finally. A Roman therapy has made it onto the battlefield. I guess in a way maybe the upcoming robot war will be a calm war. You know because I guess people will be killed so quickly. You know so efficiently by things that are so much so superior to them. you know, so efficiently by things that are so much so superior to them.
Starting point is 00:52:11 I wonder, you'd want to think that robots, you know, battle scenario would so quickly be able to determine the likely outcome of any encounter, right, using masks that they would just not fight at all. They'd probably just roll into a ball and roll away. Roll into a ball and roll away or just be like, you win. Let's not waste the resource be like, you win. Let's not waste the resource. Like you're the bigger robot. I won't even waste the resource. Well, robots will never do that because they won't lose.
Starting point is 00:52:32 But if it's a robot against another robot, though. Well, what if they just use robot logic to convince the other robots? That's what they're gonna do. They're just gonna use robot logic to protect the... It's all just came up. Why are we fighting each other? We're other robots. That's what they're gonna do. They're just gonna use robot logic to protect it. It's all just came up. Why are we fighting each other? We're all robots.
Starting point is 00:52:48 We're the ones that are not made of flesh. Mm. No, it's a good idea for the robots. Yeah, all right. Then we got excitement, but wait, not excitement bath. Excitement bath. It's like the game but a bath. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:03 It's a real splash. And we got animal lists on bath. Yeah, it's a real splash. And we got animal lists on Discovery. Animal lists. I'm sure right there, that's great. Could it take you dig off? I said I'd finished, but I got one more in there. Animals will take you dig off. That's one of the list.
Starting point is 00:53:18 It's a whole episode. I feel like this is the thing that we've come up with. And then we can talk about it. Oh, it's one of those not ideas. It's definitely an idea. I get a whole TV show. Yeah. People are in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:53:27 You're back on, could it take your dick off? Today we're looking at 20 animals, and we're going to tell you. Excesively, could it take your dick off? And we talk to some of the leading experts. And we talk to people who've had their dick taken off. Yeah. And finally, they're getting paid for something.
Starting point is 00:53:42 They own, there's one benefit from that. But I like you go and you just talk to quite a serious surgeon or something like, and then you're asking him about whether or not... Yeah, you get the jaws or whatever, like the skull of the animal, and you sort of test it with a ballistics gel penis or whatever. Whatever. Yuri Geller versus David Copperfield, and they wrestle. And then we got Smellball as well. We're gonna bet you like a spoon.
Starting point is 00:54:17 I'm good, he's a badger. Banger. I'm gonna bet you like a spoon, oh it's quite nice. It's an asshole together, spooning. Yeah. And don't run with scissors because you might encounter and ruin a yo-yo competition. That's the real reason.
Starting point is 00:54:34 We do that. And that's a sketch. I think that's a sketch. I think you just see it happening. It's just somebody, two pairs of scissors in their hand, running maniacally. First down like a grass hill. Ah!
Starting point is 00:54:48 Ah! And then in slow motion, you see people realizing, seeing them going, oh no! And then they look across, yo-yo competition, 20 meters as a side. And then you run through, ah! Like this, it's going in there, snip, snip, snip. Ah, they're all
Starting point is 00:55:05 running round. You see, the yo-yo's rolling free down the street. Exactly. They're just having this yo-yo competition right next to the street. It is straight. And then it fades as the carnage kind of you know, it just gets to its peak It fades out and then a mom sitting on a bed talking to her daughter She says and that's why you don't run with scissors. What about this? It's just some kids in the States. Yeah, right? They're in the streets in the United States or possibly Canada They're out there. They're all they have playing. They're all playing yo-yo in the in the in the Yeah, it's in the... In the... In the... Yeah, it's in the...
Starting point is 00:55:47 In the middle of the street. In the middle of the street. In the middle of the street. That's what you're doing, yo-yo. Oh, Ron, moving cars. That's what it was supposed to be. It was just playing... Kids are playing in the middle of the street.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Like they would play hockey or stick ball or whatever it is that they do over there, right? In Canada. Oh, this is all they are to you. You're absolutely right. This is all they are to you you're absolutely right this is this is all they are. They're like hockey in the street. Yes I'm not denying it and then I then instead of yelling car somebody says ciss a man and then a man runs down the street the same man running down the street with a big chopping with a big pair of scissors and all
Starting point is 00:56:24 the kids with the yo-yo's have to get off the street, the same man running down the street with a big chopping, with a big pair of scissors and all the kids with the yo-yo's have to get off the street. And the kids with our high hockey nets have to move before the net gets chopped up by the scissors. And then when the scissors man's gone past, everyone comes back out, sits up and then, oh, scissors man, and then another scissors man comes back in the other direction.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Corkscrew man, they like, they don't move. No. And then the thing gets all. They like, they don't move. No. And then the thing gets all tangled up and they can't see the corkscrew. I think that would be not as bad, but still a real inconvenience. I'm starting to think, I think it's
Starting point is 00:56:52 something these yo-yo competitions are the problem. You're right. You can't run with any instrument around them. And then of course we've got Gopro Cooking Show. Gopro Cooking Show or the other side of the knife Mmm, have a look what it's like to be coot Booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo Bap, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba go on people. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.
Starting point is 00:58:12 You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings
Starting point is 00:58:33 of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount is not available in all safe and situations. accounts not available in all safe and situations.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.