Two In The Think Tank - 180 - "EASTER SNAKE" with STEPH BROTCHIE!

Episode Date: April 24, 2019

Rapturous thanks to Steph Brotchie for epping it up with us this week!Full Flatley, Second Laugh, Pure Evil (Fast and the Fouriers), Evil Sound, ES, Yogurtlates, ArtFL, Pig Brush, More Evil Meats, Conscious Eating RouletteTHANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO CAME AND SAW MAGMA! What a delightful thing you did.Hey, why not listen to Al's new meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereNutritionally balanced thanks to George Matthews for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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this podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Elisdair if I would have said to you the words a simple clean design with quality durable blades at a fair price, what would be your number one guess as to what it is that I'm talking about? Some kind of new startup helicopter company. It's the durable blades that set this helicopter company apart. No, wait, would you be talking about Harry's razor?

I'm talking about Harry's razors. The people who have brought you this episode of Two in the Think Tank, Harry's. In collaboration with us. Oh, sure. I mean, but I think it's mostly Harry's at this point. That's true. Yeah. And they've got a special offer for our listeners of the podcast that allows them to support

themselves by buying blades, which support the podcast and also support the Harry's Corporation. So, either way, everybody wins. Whether it's your face, the Harry's Corporation or the podcast that you care about supporting, purchasing this trial offer, which I believe is free, is the way to do it. Are we talking about a little bit more? We're gonna talk about a little bit later on

in the podcast and hopefully I'll have some more information for you. I got Harry's podcast supporters every day. Crossed beef for breakfast. Everybody. Yes. Hello, and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch out of ears. I'm Alistair George William, Tom Laiberto. And I am Andy. And...

And Jagoiningus in the podcast studio is the bowl of Sesame noodles herself, definitely a raw tree. Hi, thanks for having me again. Thank you for being back. As soon as you're in the country, we put you in the park tank. Straight from the airport this time. Yeah, we flyer in. We strap our down.

We say, we wheeler across the tarmac. We say, the staff of the tank is low on resources right now. We need a hot step injection. I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. Use it. You know, things come from emotions. Yes. And one such emotion is, oh, yeah, disgusting.

Do you think anybody's ever scalped? No, that's scalped, sorry. Okay, I mean, this is not that much better than scalping, but pierced, like, you know, get a piercing that goes through the skull. Mm, gotta be. I reckon we could find, I reckon we could find a way to just, because people are always falling onto spikes.

You know how people are always falling onto spikes and the spikes are going up sort of through the brain and everyone's like, it's amazing, it didn't touch any of the bits of the brain that do anything. So just pierce those. It's already, it's been determined already by all these people falling onto handy spikes. Now we know. So we just turn that into an a fashion thing. You can get a spike up through under the jugular. Right, goes up and through the brain. I think sometimes it goes up through the belly, through, misses all the organs. All the organs.

And then goes through the neck. So I think as long as you're not piercing the neck itself and you're just like a hole in your ear hole, that's the real problem. So then you just, oh, that's the real problem. Okay, you go up the spine. And then up through the head and then just put, just a little poke out through the skull.

And then, like a little ruby on it, isn't it? Yeah, there's only the only bit that you see is the tidy little tip of the iceberg. Yeah, and maybe like a little bit of the rod at the bottom. Coming out of the thigh. Yeah, out of the thigh. Like a ruby on it. Exactly. Ruby, Chen's, Tumpton Towns. What about, because Frankenstein's monster, is it him who has the bar that goes through his neck like that? Yeah, well there's definitely bolts there. I never realized that there's probably a bar in there. I guess.

Yeah. That's a pretty extreme piercing. It is. And I am actually shocked at, we haven't seen that in a single person. Right. So, that's the transverse next stud, but this is the, what would it be? I don't know the opposite of transverse. Yeah.

Other. Obverse, I don't know. Universe. Universe. Universal. Next stud that goes in the other direction, which is much more alternative, you know, if you want to prove to people that you are hardcore You are hardcore and you are alternative. Yeah, this is very alternative And then if you get both this is an alternative to all the people who don't have a spark that goes from their thigh to the top of their head

But if you get both then you can be like multiverse. Oh, yeah, every direction. Piercing situation. And then you could get yourself installed in some kind of a gimbal where you could gyrate in every, not gyrate. You could rotate in every degree of freedom. And I think that big pole going down the middle of your body

might actually impede some of your gyrate. Your racket. I mean, it could have been initially invented as an anti-girration thing, you know? pole going down the middle of your body might actually impede some of your gyrate. You're right. It could, I mean, it could have been initially invented as an anti-girration thing, you know, like, sort of stop the hips from, you know, turning people on with gyration. But of like, River Dance training. River Dance. River Dance, he had one of these. That's right.

And it was also around when, you know, when Elvis, the pelvis, was performing on TV and they were trying to start, you know, They were like, oh, young people are just doing provocative. Yeah, so they started installing this in their daughters and sons. Damn, what's going to do it? Damn, what's the love with that? Yeah, I mean, look, we're not going through any of the orifice.

We're creating new. Hey, so there's nothing you're gonna do. It's a brain you're gonna do. Yeah, no, that would be horrifying. So, you know what I'm saying? All it was over a five. All it was over for it. So I mean, it could be an you know, obviously started as an ancient antigirations technique. Ancient. Ancient.

1951. It's the full flat like, oh, and then also the one through your neck though, could be a good way of like, you know, like if you wanted to dangle from your neck, but like, because I mean your neck should be able to hold your whole, I mean, it can hold your head up. You think it would hold your whole body up, like a dangle. Hold your neck out, but should be able to hold your body down. That's how that works. I'm picturing a judo match between you and your neck. Neck somehow gets you in a position where it's like, oh, I've got... I think we've talked about the use of the neck in fighting.

Is that a thing we've talked about on the podcast? Because obviously the giraffes do it. You know, you've seen those videos of the giraffes fighting. May they just sort of lash each other with their necks. It's full on. Yeah. It's real full on. I have a bad neck just from like using a computer. I can't imagine how bad it would be about to fight. Do you look down a lot while you're using a computer? Yeah. You put it at your feet and you stand up and just I do a full forward fold. Computer on the ground, feed on the ground. Yeah, just but like just, you completely, standing up completely straight, computer at your feet, but then you just tilt your head down.

And your eyes like maximum angle to try to see the screen. Oh, these ergonomically chairs are not helping. I mean, you know, there's, you you know, there's like standing desks. There's also a bed one where it suspends the laptop above you. So you're lying down and typing about that. I wanted to have one that was the fetal position. You're on your side sort of curled up. And the keyboard is sort of on your knees and the screen is sort of down there

so that you sort of just curl up away from the world and you can still respond to emails. Oh, it's good. I would like that. I think when the world is in a bad state, a fatal position desk that you can keep working when all around you has gone wrong is useful. Yeah. And you could install it like in the womb. Right, get people on there at an early, exactly. On board them early.

Get on board them, get them online. Well, then if that was the case, you would never have to leave the fetal position. Right. Yeah. You can just spend your whole life curled up connected to the internet. What about the part where you have to be born through that small tunnel? Do you think you could get, you think you could manage to, maybe they could redesign the model there, the sort of the model? That has been needing a redesign for a long time. So, maybe while they're researching the road, they could do some other. No, but this is, you're not going to be able to use the fetal position keyboard if you've got the flatly. Really, these two are the antithesis of each other, aren't they?

That's what makes the flatly piercing so alternate. Yeah, right. You're right. Everyone else is in the fetal position, it really straightens you up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, feed up. It's like stupid, so you're back. Cops pose. And then maybe the baby, you know, because you can change the fetal position is whatever position you're in when you're a baby in the fetus. No, not when you're in the fetus.

Ah, you're right. Yeah, so it's whatever position you're in. So when I was in there, I would just have my arms out like a monster and my fingers curled over and I go, and for me, that's the feel of the thing. And a straight back. Straight back, like that, in a pained face. For me, that's the feel of the thing. That's what I was like because of the big rusty metal bar.

It's your my mama. Rusty now. I always think we were at least using surgical grade stainless steel, but no, no, this is cast iron. This is like an old pot. At the time, it was easier to just use what was at hand. Everyone had an iron rod at hand, 1951. Yeah, you just use a fence-paling or something.

A fence M-paling. I don't think that's a pun. I think because I think probably the word impaling just comes from the word or the word paling comes from the word impaling or whatever. The same root word. That's it. Offense. That's like trying to do a pun that's like today, something something yesterday. And some of us are trying to find new awful ways of doing it. And I think finding one that's offended you, I think, is a great achievement for me. Alternative puns is, I don't know, there's something in it.

Yeah, I'm an old punner. Yeah. Well, I think I wonder if there's a type of pun that's just words that the combination of letters kind of look the same, like the word cool, right? The C and the O and the L. That O and the L, you know, if you put them close enough together, they probably just look like a D. It's a cod. So it's cod. Right. So it's not, it's an alternative form of pun. Yeah. You know, it's one that's just created by like bad letter spacing.

Yeah. Is that kerning? It's that kerning, yeah. kerning. You know. So kerning is alternative punning. What's kerning? kerning is like in, I think in design, like how far apart the letters are from each other.

The space between the letters. Cunning ponds. Oh no. Oh no. This is what, so in what, what context would you use this cool card kind of pun? Maybe something about Cape Cod and Cape Coole. Cool card, by the way. That is a band name for George. Cool card.

Caz he going, by the way. Well, he can't find a band name. Still can't say. Turns out, see, there's a secondary brother, as you may know, called Dave. Yeah. And... Is Dave the problem? And Dave is up there as one of the main problems.

One of the two problems. Yeah, one of the two. The other one's George, I guess. The other one is George, and then the... I guess the third one is sort of the way that they work together. Ah! The space between them. Super organ is a learning creative.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! I just found that really satisfying. But by real laugh I thought it wasn't enough to express how satisfied I found it. So I thought I'll top this up with a little extra laugh. Oh, somebody is, you know. I was like, I'm putting another man's laugh in this. I was like, you know, there's two men laughing with me. And the man that I invented to do the laughing for me. What the fuck is happening?

I'm adding this second man laughing. Laughing for extra comfort. It's true that laughing only ever denotes, like, I've found what you've said amusing really. Like, that's the one meaning. Oh, or my evil plans have come to fruition. Yeah. But maybe we could, you know, there's a language possibility in laughter,

codification, like, if you laugh, high pitched, it's a evil if you, I don't know. You're right. You're right. We need to lock that down over. A language of laughter. I think also, because the evil laugh, all my evil plans have come to fruition, that's

only really a laugh that you hear, a solo laugh, right? You only hear that once. You never get a full audience of evil laughter. And I think that would be a great alternative to the comedy festival, which is like Melbourne International sort of evil scheme extravaganza, right? And it's people up there. All the audience is evil, obviously. Maybe all the performers are evil and there's only one audience member for each time. Okay, that's. You go in and then they go,

ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It's very good.

Yeah, so there's just one big black chair, right? Insta in the audience area. With a cat with a white cat, so. With a white cat with a right hand. Maybe the chair is facing away from you. And you perform all your evil schemes until you get, yeah, and you try and get your laugh right up. Your evil laugh right?

But I would also like a full audience of evil laughter as well. Because it would be nice to hear what that sounds like. Well, that's what I want. I want a whole audience. It's a bunch of evil, like it says. Oh, I thought you said there was only one evil person. No, no, there's only one audience member who is the person who's not the evil person and everybody else is the performer. Okay. Right. Right. So you go there and this is how you enter, right? Yeah. You stand in this kind of like

metal kind of standing tray. Yeah. I could totally picture what you made. Yeah. and they I could totally picture what you made and they and you're your Is that an elevator middle standing tray it could be but then you like jet star Of instance some of their planes up Your arms get shackled in This and then your head gets shackled in perfect Yeah, and then you get kind of like just along a conveyor belt you get brought in And then you get spun around to face them, and it's like, there's like 50 evil.

It's as if the plan of all these evil people was to finally trap you and get you. And so when they see you, they I don't know maybe acid comes in porn. Or laser is moving towards you. Exactly. The original performance. Yeah. And then shark nips at your pinky toe. I've tried to try to picture it like I can't I can't understand what's the dynamic. Who's the audience and who's the performer then? Well, the experience is there for the person and who's the performer then? Well, the experience is there for the person

who stands in the middle of the room. And gets the essence from. Yeah. So that's an experience for them, right? And the performance that they're witnessing is experiencing the laughter like they were comedian. It's just so complicated. Well, all the dynamics atop C-Turvy,

all the performers are laughing. All the dynamics are topsy-turvy. All the performers are laughing. And there's lots of them and they're evil, but the audience is the one having the experience. It's like direct inverse of stand-up comedy. It is. It is. Multiple performers who are laughing. A single strapped-in audience member on a standing tray. Look, I've got to tell you, I've realized part way through this that Steph has actually already created an art piece like this once. Remind me? Well, really all of your performances I would like

and having acid poured on you. Once Steph put on essentially a comedy art exhibition. Oh yeah. And there was like a floor covered in whoopie cushions. Oh yeah. There was a donut thing. What was the donut thing? The donut's what you were trying to get to

by walking over the water cushions. That's right. It was art. Exactly. And then there was probably the only good art that's ever been done. Yeah. And then there was one room that you walk in one at a time, and then you walk out into the

room and you're the only person, you're on stage, as soon as you walk through the curtain, and there's an audience there, and they're laughing at whatever you say. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good. It started as that.

They would laugh at whatever you say, then the audience they would got got bored And so they started fucking with people and so if they'd be like okay for the next guy just give him nothing Walk in and they'd heard through the wall like a lot of laughter So they were expecting to like people kind of understanding did that happen to John Bennett? Probably that's usually what happens to John Bennett? I don't know. Probably. That's usually what happens to Jon Bennett when he gets outside. Oh, right. Jonny.

Sorry. It's not turning off. Cop that out for Jon Bennett. Yeah. Turn that. Ah, ah, ah, ah. But I do, I think there is something really nice in the moment where the evil laugh that you're pretending to do turns into the real laugh of you reacting to the fact that you've just done an evil laugh, there's like a nice

transition moment where I know the difference between your two laughs. Yeah, and he only has two. And so what do we do with this? Well, it's a philosophical thing if we could identify the moment in which in the transition at which it is identifiably evil and then also identifiably not evil. Maybe we could then identify the essence of evil and we could extract that. See, if you've got an evil laugh and a non evil laugh, right, then all we need to do is we need to overlap, possibly using Fourier transforms, the waveforms of the two different types of laughter. Okay, and then we're able to subtract the devil's edition.

We're able to use the devil's edition subtraction to subtract your regular laugh from your evil laugh. And what does that leave us with? Just pure evil. Okay, and now we just play that sound of pure evil, pump it into a room or whatever, and we can drive any man in sane. Or woman. Or woman.

Or even a pig. You'd have to test it on pig's first, we reckon. Yeah, of course. Before sending it out onto the battlefield. Yeah. He looks upset, I don't know. He looks upset before though. It's a big... Here you go, little fella.

You're not going to fart at anybody like in this state. Here, let me play this weird, altered, altered say. A evil pig. Oh, it'd be great to work to be like somebody who got to experiment on things in the military. Oh my god. What the evil are? Oh!

Haha. I think there's pure evil idea. Pure evil. Right. Sound terrorism, though. I don't know. That's unexplored. It seems to be a thing that people think that this is happening in the Embassy in Cuba.

The US Embassy in Cuba, everyone's like, I feel really nauseous. I think they discovered that that was a mass sort of... A leg delusion. But maybe you don't even need to invent the pure evil sound you just need to like so-or-seed of mass hysteria. Tell everyone we've invented the pure evil sound. I mean that's quite good isn't it? Like you put everyone in an environment and you tell them we'll be pumping in a sound that turns you pure evil and then you watch as they become pure evil and then at the end you say, ah, there was no evil sound at all.

The sound of pure evil is me telling you that I've invented the sound of pure evil. It's just that sentence. That was a really good twist. Twisty flip. It's a flip and twist. It's a flip and twist. You would be able to do that with the full flatly. Oh, maybe you could, maybe the flip and twist, if you've got the full flatly and the full Frankenstein, the flipping and twisting is pretty much all you can do.

All you can do. You've got about as much movement as a gyroscope, right? Yeah. Oh, you could use that Frankenstein piercing and extend it out so people can't get out through doors. Unless they turn. Unless they turn. A little bit. Unless they've ever carried anything through a door. Oh, you can get it back to a back and forward one as well. And then they have to twist and tilt. Unless they've ever moved a couch, they have to twist and tilt. Yeah.

Unless they've ever moved a couch, they'll never be able to. Well, one of those four cornered couches. I mean, if stopping people getting through doors is really what we want to do, then maybe while we're shoving all these spikes through there, Nick, we could just kill them. Yes, all close the door. OK, you guys have little locks.

Kill them. I mean, if there was one idea that was stupid enough, I think it was murder. Can I just say, I saw your show yesterday and I loved it so much. Congratulations. You just finished the festival. Thank you very much. It was so good and I hope you do it again and again and again. Well, there's a chance it could be the last thing we do and then we just continue doing this

in the next 40 years. During our Makemo Show. Yeah. Well, I think we will, the good chance that Makemo will once again, we were aroused at the French festival in September. Yeah. And so keep an open mind and an eyes. And Gallaudet. And we've got the highest. Thank you, by the way. We've got the highest review you can get from a ball assessment. Now, yes, when I signed up to the Sesame Noodle Review, mailing out letter, I thought it would be reviews of Sesame Noodles. It turns out it is reviews by Sesame Noodles of comedy festival shows. And this has received the highest award for Sesame Noodles out of a possible for. One, wait, one bowl of sesame noodles out of a possible one bowl of sesame noodles.

Ah, but I didn't tell you in the bowl of sesame noodles. I have eaten one noodle. Still room for improvement. Still room. You gotta leave that thing there. There was something we were talking about. I had no idea with the other ones. Played people the sound of pure evil. Pure evil. And they become evil. And then... I mean, you know, there's smells.

There's other things. There's smell of pure evil. Mmm. I think I look at... There's something about the idea of this and all this stuff there. But, you know what, let's move on. Let's pick another topic. Eggs eating, eating things.

Nice mix this morning. No, but a carnivorous egg. That's really interesting though, isn't it? Something, an egg that has hunger, right? But of course, if the egg were to eat... Hunger for your touch. That will decide, yeah. But the size of the egg is very fixed, you see. It can't grow.

Yes, so I'm going to get... So if it were to eat anything, it would crack and die, but it's hungry. It seems like a hell. Yes, and it would move in any way, it would also crack. It would move. If it were to open its mouth, it has also crack. If it were to open its mouth, it has a mouth, but it can't open its jaws for it, for they know it would crack and die. Because it doesn't have a jaw, it just has shell, but that is what is a shell.

If not, an unformed mouth and jaw, that you cannot move. and jaw that you cannot move. Mm-hmm. Um, I just thought, look, me, me, when... Just an egg with motivation. It seems to be that, like, like, okay, how about this? Right? There's some sort of a chicken. Right.

But one that never emerges from the shell lives its whole life inside the shell. Right? Still has hopes and dreams. It has a form of locked-in syndrome. Yes, locked- egg. Locked in, egged in, right? Shell, shell, shell, shell, shell, shell, shell, lock, shell locked. Shell locked. Shell locked. Shell, shell, shell, shell. It lives a toll life inside the egg, right? And then we somehow get to see it's dreams Thank you Remember when you wrapped up eggs in tin foil and told your children. That's what an Easter egg is What you mean two days ago

That is the definition of purie Frotty said that was the saddest thing she ever heard Your boiled eggs though, you boiled them. Were they boiled? Were they boiled before that or after? Before? Okay, boy so we have boiled the eggs. Okay.

These are children, they're two years old. They don't know. Yeah. They haven't been allowed to eat chocolate. Sure. So for them, an egg is just simply a shiny thing. Yeah. With a particular shape.

So we boiled the, we boil the eggs. And then what did one of them say? So we had boiled the eggs, we wrapped them in foil, we hide them around the dining room, the living room, the boys wake up in the morning, they run around very excitedly, finding all the eggs and put them back in the egg carton for us. And then we peel the eggs and we cut them and we put them on a plate for breakfast. We sit our low down in front of his plate of egg and he says, I don't like the yeast to bunny. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. My God. It's really beautiful in the way. I mean, no, you're not going to have to bother with this whole thing.

Exactly, you see? We're really nipped it in the mud. All this childhood wonder kind of a thing. You know, there's people always have the dilemma of, do I tell my children that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist? Or when do I tell my children that Santa Claus isn't real? This way, when we tell our children that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist, they'll be relieved.

Nothing but a little bit. Thank God that you're free. There's a way in which you can get them to just not think about it at all, because they go, oh, well, that thing doesn't provide anything of value to me. It provides breakfast, which is the same thing mom and dad do.

And so therefore, they're on this version. I have to do some work. And also, they're cold, because they hard boiled them the night before He thought about it as even worse I guess if you pick up the hot... Well like a good idea two days in a row Yeah, that idea you had the whole thing in your head for a second Murder is for some reason always worse when there's pre-plan

What is it? What is it? What is it? It's a pre-meditized appointment? Childhood trooper. I only realized recently that it's a rabbit leaving eggs. Mm-hmm. Rabbit's not having eggs. Oh. No, this is a very good premise for a stand-up comedy, but you've got here.

Like, because I only realized, because in France, the eggs come from bells, Easter bells, reading and eggs. And I was like, that is dumb. That does not make any sense. Where are the bells? Why can't we hear them? Why are the eggs in bells? Like, I don't understand. At least a rabbit, you know, and then I was like, at least a rabbit. It should be. That's right. It should be an Easter snake. It should be. That's right, it should be an Easter snake. Yeah, now we're talking. All right. The Easter snake came through our snake.

And it would also explain how they get into little like crevices. They all the crepes that they can flatten themselves out and go under the door. Look, the snake was in your room. Oh. Maybe I'll tell the boys that the hard boiled eggs were brought by the geese to snake. Ever. Yeah, let's see, that's better. Now they... One in every five has a baby snake in it.

Oh. That was... No. Yeah, and you could open up the foil and it's just filled with like this false support, like a... No! I'm not like! I'm not like! I Not like I

What what what I said I don't know feel like they're sitting Eastern European And this how you can get them to like the Easter bunny again Easter It was better than the Easter steak. It's only had going for him. The Easter Bunny. But on the premeditated murder, surely premed, organization is a virtue. We employ people from the organization and therefore surely murder is a certain amount bad, 50 on the bad scale, but organization is probably like a two. So surely pre-meditated murder is only a 48, whereas people who leave their murder to the last minute, that's not

a virtue, that's like a 54. Yeah. Right. And like serial killers with like a spreadsheet, they actually like make more points every killing they do as long as it's well organized. Exactly. You can work your way back to zero. Well, I don't know if you can ever work your way back to zero, but you could sort of cancel

out a couple of the merge. It's like when you stay at a hotel longer, you pay less per night. Is that true? No. Send a paper to the tree. How long can I stay before I'm paying nothing per night? Before they're paying me. Yes.

Hello. I mean, it's a long term investment play. They cost me a lot of money. Oh, and that's your turn. So, how could you, because I want to understand this logic, how could you do a murder, but also it be zero in the sort of evil scheme? Well, I mean, okay, we just got to line up all the virtues. What are they? Punctuality.

Okay, so you do it on time. That does come up in the form. What are they? Puntuality. OK, so you do it on time. Involved. That does work involves premeditation. Carbon neutral. Right? You know, offsets. You're buying offsets. Uh-huh.

Every step of the way you're planting a tree. Yes. Mm-hmm. Every drop of blood is used as fertilizer. You give them a sip of water. A forest to replenish their fluids. Yes. You know, I think.

We always end up talking about murder. I can't. No, there we. Okay. That's good. You've got out your poor poor, poor, poor, right, man? Yeah.

Your lips, they dry. Yeah. Chapped. Chapped. Yeah. Chapped. Do you think it's pretty dry and you think the word for chapped should be different for a woman? Fissure. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Chat. Okay, chip Pilates, right? Chips. Oh my god, but I think for my exercise. It's a sausage-based exercise.

Finally. I thought it was a chip-based Pilates exercise. Oh. Chip Pilates. You know what, you very much. What about sausages and chips? You know, it's like, it's a Pilates class that's happening at a greasy spoon. Yeah. It's definitely English. Here's another one.'s a Pilates class that's happening at a greasy spoon. Yeah, you know.

It's definitely English. Here's another one. Yoga Pilates. It's yoga Pilates, but with yoga. It's combining that sort of stretching high intensity, possibly hot exercise with thick dairy. Thick fermented dairy. Oh, hello. It's efficient though if you can be eating while exercising.

I think there's something in it. Yeah, it's a circle of life. Yeah, so it was yogurt in it. Everything. Okay, so what are we just doing? More blends of food. You've heard of blends of two exercises. What about some exercises blended with one food

and a location that cooked that food? Zunbanme. Zunbanme. Exactly. Golf. Soccer. It's the first spaghetti. Okay, now we're going to go on. Socker I'm just... Footballer suit?

Are you riding down golf circles? Golf circles, I'm getting it. I've been in the sketch just got to go subway. What was the other one? So I'm going off the rails. Alright, you've got to kick a big ball into a tiny hole. You're just stamping it in there whilst wearing a funny outfit and eating a big latest spaghetti and meatballs. It's no less stupid than all sport.

That's the good thing about it. So essentially part of it, the sport is that you've got to actually burst the ball so that it can then, you can just, it can be crammed into that tiny hole. You can only burst it if you eat enough spaghetti. Yeah, you can get wasted. It's hard-bloating. I think a golf tournament in which the ball is too big to get into the hole is quite interesting. You know, it's because then we've transitioned into art.

You know, we are making a statement about futility. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive

between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. This counts not available in all safe and situations. makes a pretty good argument. It's utility myself. I think a lot of sports. A lot of sports. Hello everybody. I am all sports. I just want to tell you that this is all been an art piece. What's, what's, how did you put it? A few tillies. Statement about.

Few tillies. Nature and futility. It's been a sports futility vehicle. Everybody. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, but then a sports futility vehicle. Everybody. Thank you. I mean, but then a sports futility vehicle is a vehicle for sports futility. And so it's got to be something that carries sports futility. And is that sports themselves? Or is that something else? It's like a person who invents sports. I've kind of changed what we're talking about ever so slightly.

That would be so good to get us out of this. It's, but it's on the same theme basically, right? Because what is, what, what happens? Right? And this is the sketch concept. is that an arts administrator gets appointed as the head of the AFL. Right? So at the moment the CEO of the AFL is often somebody who has a bit of a history in sport but also more often than not has a bit history in business. Right? Like Andrew Dmitry or whatever his name was, he was a head, I think he'd previously been a car executive. Right? he was a head, I think he'd previously been a car executive. Right? Which is awesome.

Which is awesome. Which is awesome. VD's a lizard car. And we're back. Yes. Yes. But in this situation, someone who's a former head of a gallery or something like that gets appointed to the head of the AFL and they start changing the rules of the sport and you know adjusting things so that

it becomes more artistic and makes more statements. So one would be putting the goalposts so close together that the ball can't get through the gap, right? And you know every change the rules of any sport there's always a lot of contribute. There's always haters, people are always uncomfortable about sports moving forward, but here we go this is this is their vision and they managed to get it through the, the panels or whatever. And then it's it. And then you know, now that's, this is now part of sport. Which would mean that technically then you'd kind of just be removing that six point goal. You just be making every goal or one point goal. Or you could make the goal the bit between the goal posts that one end of the field and the

other end of the field. So all sides of the field is gone and the bits that are now go out. Yes, that's very narrow. And you don't tell them until they start. Oh yeah, that's out. You don't tell them until the end of the game. That's right. Okay, all of the Aussie rules players are kept in a dungeon for the whole season. They don't learn. They don't get to know what rules have changed, but they have to figure it out during the game. But nobody ever goes, oh, they also can't see the scoreboard so that they can go, oh, we

get a point every time we get six points every time we kick it just through that big area. You don't want that. No, no. But I wonder how long it would take for them to realize as well. If they could see and they could identify that, like would they like rats learn from a reward system? What would be the reward though? The reward is the points. Like if they could see that they were getting points from kicking it through the thing. Then I think they would learn. I think football is I think Footballers are smarter than rats. I'm not 100% sure

The only way to test it would be to have a team of football players that team are rats doing the same Playing against each other. Yeah And which team works it out the fastest? The cats versus the rats and the rats are actual rats That's right and the cats are football players Holding on to cats I don't know if that helps That's right. And the cats. A football player. Holding onto cats. Ah. I don't know if that helps. Does that help your idea? Yeah, I think it does.

I think it all helps. Get away. But anyway, sports becomes arts and see this way they're open. They're probably up for more grants. You know, imagine if the AFL won the Doug Moran prize. Is that a portrait one? Yeah. I would love it if more sports were taking more

of our arts funding away. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe this could come from the government and come from the Ministry or something. They want to give more money to sports, take more money away from arts, but they're unable to get it through unless they just sort of change the sport a little bit so that it's more artistic. Yeah. And they put Ida Buttrose at the head of... Oh Ida Buttrose. Yes indeed. Is that why you're not saying her name properly? No, it's just an amazing name to say.

There's so many crisp syllables with so laden with meaning. And the word butt is in there. The word butt is in there. And then you put buttrose and it makes you think about like a butt with a little butt coming out of this Yes, yes, it's exactly what it is. Yes, I think of a rose with a butthole. Well, I just think of a slightly prolapted anus.

That's what it makes me think of. Just slightly that. Just slightly like it's almost pretty. There's a beautiful rose colors. There's like that. And this is why it's a fun name to say. I'd have butt rows. Ida Budrose. Ida.

I'm going to say something about Harry's Razor. It's speaking of fun things to say and coming off the back of that great bit of chat. What I don't tell you about this offer that is available to all listeners that the two in the Think Tank podcast, right? You can get yourself a bunch of Harry stuff, right? If you, it's $13 value trial set

that you don't have to pay that $13, it comes with everything you need for a close, comfortable shave, weighted, ergonomic handle, five blade razor with lubricating strip and trimmer, rich leathering shave gel and Alistair. What's that ending? A travel blade cover.

Now, we talk a lot about the travel blade cover on this show. It's probably our favorite player in the entire Harry's cast. It's probably my favorite bit of plastic. Yes. Maybe this is a good time for you to think about what's your favorite bit of plastic.

But. Tweeter's's on long. Yeah, we always take a moment to celebrate the travel blade cover, but I've got it, I'm going to come clean with the listeners. I'm a hypocrite because recently we were clearing out our cupboard in the bathroom and I had two travel blade covers and I threw both of them away. And then only a week ago I had to go stay overnight somewhere and I was filming something in the morning and I needed a close shave and it came time to pack my Harry's razor into my backpack and I had

to confront the mistake that I had made and the fact that I didn't have my travel play cover. Everything was fine. The Harry's razor wasn't damaged in any way, but I was given a stark insight and a realization into exactly why that travel play cover is there and how thoughtful the good people that Harry's have been in giving you everything that you need in this trial set. So it's a lesson there. I just want to say that I'm not perfect. No, this is a hard way to find out that you're not perfect. Yeah, and in the future the audience probably won't listen to me anymore when I talk about the

travel blade cover, but I want them to know that I've been there. I'm glad that it hasn't done this. Hard one, I'm not even expecting it. No, you're still pure, exactly. So that's why we need you here. Yeah, no, I think the travel blade cover is on my thing, even when I'm not traveling. Yes. Even when you're shaving. Even when I'm shaving.

Even while I'm shaving, yes, certainly. I think of it as while the earth is moving at some huge speed through space, so in a way it is, we're always traveling. Yes. Yes. And I actually find a way to pinch my skin under the in between the travel case and the and the blade and to to make it work. And it takes a lot of cream to keep it nice and you know, smushy to get it in there. All you got to do

is go to harrys.com for to last think tank. Make sure you go to harrys.com for to last think tank to redeem your offer and let them know we sent you to help support the show. And you know, that's it. That's it. But there is a little bit more. I'd just like to say that, you know, harries, raises, they're just a good quality, no gimmicks set up. Right.

That's how they kept the price down to an affordable thing that you're going to be able to, you're going to want to keep coming back. They don't have those costly gimmicks. We costly gimmicks are stupid, you know, they're black, you get a, you look like a fighter jet or something like that. Yeah, well, you get a, oh, mascot, it looks like an elephant delivers it to your house. Yeah. Or whatever it is that, but they don't do that.

This won't, they would guarantee that this won't be delivered by an elephant, right? It's just a good quality razor. A guard dressed as an elephant. It's a mask. Really good. Yeah. Really good. Really good. Alright. Thanks very much everybody. Do you think you could shave an elephant?

Like, first of all, you would get an elephant to agree to it, but... Oh yeah, not unconscious, essentially. I mean, they've got hair on them, don't they? But it feels like it's quite... It's quite coarse. Like a bristle, I'd say. It's more like a bristle. Yeah. So you think you could make a toothbrush from... Yeah, I think we talked about this last time I was on the bristle, I'd say it's more like a bristle. Yeah, so you think you could make a toothbrush from... Yeah, I think we talked about this last time I was on the plucking.

Wait, wait, wait, I really heard it. Yeah, no. I'm pretty sure. Oh man, that's... It's not it feels like such a good idea. That does feel like something you could sell in a shop in the cool part of town. And it was like a bamboo,

it's the stick part of a toothbrush called... Bamboo stick, the cool part of town. And was like a bamboo, what's the stick part of it? Two-estress code. Bamboo stick, the stick part. I think stick part is possibly the most technical term we could have used. I think probably back in the day, they're probably made toothbrushes from like pigs here or something like that,

which is full on to think that you, that's why you were using, especially for it's actually true. I just make it up, just then that's even more full on it. that you, that's where you were using, especially if it's actually true. You just make it up just then. That's even more full on if it's true. Yeah, and especially if that pig was now evil. Oh no, we've heard the sound. Right, but if we think that that is bad, shaving a pig to get its bristles to make a toothbrush, right? Then, what surely a more defensible thing would be to genetically engineer a pig that is basically shaped like a toothbrush.

That is that. Can then remain alive, right? And you just keep it in a small style. Teacup pig. Yeah, yeah. Toothbrush pig, right? You just keep it in a small style next to the sink in the bathroom, right? You just keep it in a small star next to the seat in the bathroom, right?

You feed it scraps. I'm pretty sure the bottom of that star couldn't be any dirtier than the bottom of the mug where people keep toothbrushes. Oh, it's so fun. It's the worst. Yeah. So that, you're in a share house and like after three years, you're looking at the bottom of the mug and there's just a layer of just scum. I'm going to call it scum.

And fuzz? Yeah. Oh, it's not good. How much would you have to be paid to drink that? To drink it up. I think first you would have to add just a little bit more liquid. Oh! Yeah, no, you feel you need it, you feel, you feel it off the side. Okay, you feel the cup, you take that mug, that's a mug already, right?

You chuck out all the toothbrushes, you feel that mug with boiling water. Half way up. Yeah. Two thirds of the way out, right? Take the basic toothbrush, you just, and you spin it, just spin it until it, until that, and that burning hot. But I guess by putting boiling water in there, you probably be killing some of the community of germs,

which would be so rich and vibrant by that point. I absolutely. How they've been able to evolve in that environment. They're living off of sort of toothbrush and saliva, like no toothpaste and saliva, a kind of, remnants. It really is turning my tongue. Yeah.

It is like the ocean floor. You think about the toothbrush, not the ocean floor, the canopy, the floor of the rainforest. You have the canopy of toothbrushes up there, the light filtering down, you know, and then here we have the leaf litter, the detritus. You know, some of the most rich ecosystem available in the entire biome. We have the scuttling of the little creatures as they rustle through the undergrowth there.

It would be beautiful. And that's how you harvest new toothbrushes. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's what I was going to say. Well, this is exactly how you could make the bed of this miniature pig toothbrush. If it could live off of that kind of thing. I mean, if you're genetically engineering it to be small, toothbrush shaped and have bristles all grow in one direction, you may as well allow to eat all the scum that all

your other lesser intelligent housemates who use regular toothbrushes allow them to feed off of that. So it scuttles around in the bottom of the mug, yeah, subsisting. subsisting off of that stuff. I mean, you can keep adding some, you know, like sweet potato skins, and shells. Okay, well, while we're genetically engineering it to eat that scum, then be shaped and look like a toothbrush. Why don't we genetically engineer it so that it's ainess is just above the bristles, right?

And that it eats all that stuff and then poops out toothpaste. You're a toothpaste. Back onto the brush. I've got my own back. Wow. I mean, this is a circle of life. It's beautiful.

It is beautiful. It's so cool. Mm. I was just thinking about, you know, Veal, how Veal is like a little cow that's put in a dark environment, it's not allowed to touch anything. But like this idea of creating a meat that is good because of its environment, just thinking about the pig and the sound of evil,

and there's something about like you could make a really powerful bacon or like some kind of a meat product by saying that your meat your animal has been bathed in the sound of pure evil or like has been immersed in the sound of I don't know like children laughing. Well if we could for example the evilest thing you can think of but it doesn't have to be evil. Well I mean mean, if it's children laughing alone in a hotel that you know to be empty, that's pretty easy. That's right.

That's right. Did anybody let that kid up? What kid? There hasn't been a kid here for 45 years. Did anybody let that kid out? You know, just that thing that you say when you know there's a kid. Anyone who let the kid out?

Let the kid out. Let the kid out. Let the kid out. Let the kid in. The construction. Look, I think that's a really good, because then you can do that thing. It's like, well, yeah, I mean, I think we're explaining your joke, but the real thing, it's like, oh, you're putting them in an evil scenario

if we could just make it more evil. We also put spikes on the walls. We played an evil laugh at all times. Well, we, but What would be really good? Because why people feel bad about eating the veal that's been raised in that evil environment is that they think that somehow the veal is innocent. But if we could guarantee that the veal was evil

by having played it this sound and turned it evil, then in fact eating the The Veal becomes a moral obligation. You're doing the planet a favor. You are all of us. Yes By removing the stain of darkness. That's true. Yeah, but also by putting more evil around it and treating it worse You're making the meat taste better. Yeah You see? And so that's all gives you another moral obligation to eat it. Just a text, sorry, because it would be a crime.

A real crime. It does feel like as we're becoming more and more aware of plant-based diets being like one of the biggest things you can do towards reducing emissions, the meat industry might need to be coming up with stuff like this to incentivize meat eating amongst humans. Well, I mean, the more plant diets become viable, the more evil it is to eat meat, and therefore the better meat becomes to eat. I think the missing is just a little one. I think we say the word evil enough, we're going to get it's just a little one. I think we say the word evil enough, we're going to get this to go. Evil evil.

I think we have enough sketch ideas to go to our three words. Yeah, yes. Yeah, more evil. And also, by the way, just a little note, evil obviously is the word live backwards. Right? People hate live sheep exports, flip that around, people love evil sheep. Evil peace. I mean, sport, if, see.

And it almost sounded like it could have been it backwards, right? Well, it's Carnival backwards? I'm not bothering you. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered.

I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered.

I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered. I'm sorry. Let's do the three words. Okay. And also while we're here, thank you to everybody who came to see Magma. Oh my God. And not especially everybody, but also especially like crazy people who came here from overseas

to see the show. There was like four or five people who were here to see the world. Not all of them who came exclusively just to see us, but while they were here in their limited time enjoying this great nation and they took some of that time to see Magma. Sometimes more than once. Sometimes more than once.

The day of the holidays that I've forgotten, but somebody delayed his honeymoon with his wife, so that he could come and see like do go on live and us do their show and let's do it show. East insanity. Thank you so much. East and European, how else do you say? East and European. All right, so three words from tonight today is from Daniel J. His Let's Play podcast. Daniel J's Let's Play podcast. You're okay. Maybe.

It's Daniel J's let's be okay. You're Daniel K? Maybe. Daniel K's let's play. Unless there's also a Daniel J's let's play. I think it's Daniel K. I think you'll find. Daniel K, not Daniel K. But you've absolutely, well, I mean, I'm so good at it. I can just keep doing different, Daniels with a different consonant on the end. All right, well, let's do that.

Please. I want to believe let's see that. Please. I want to believe it. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel X. Daniel. Daniel.

Definitely is Daniel K. Oh, wow. I think my K. Never has been right felt so empty. Daniel K must have been auto corrected to Daniel J. Yeah, right. Daniel K. Daniel K must have been auto corrected to Daniel J. Yeah, right. Daniel K. Daniel K, let's play podcast.

All right, he's given us three words, which is the standard number. Are you ready, Seth? I'm ready. Permian. What? Permian. Does Andy know what that means?

I believe it was one of the eras of Earth's geological history, the Permian. When it had real curly hair. Neeeeeegh! What is it? Permian, it's a geological era. Oh, is it where permafrost comes from? Oh, no.

Permafrost comes from... It means where permafrost comes from. Was it permafrost? I think it was one of the extinctions. We had the Permian extinction, maybe. It's great that you're saying that because the three words are Permian mass extinction. Oh, there you go. Oh, do you think it could be extinction of mass?

There was no more weight. It's actually the deletion of that particle. What's that little subatomic particle? The Higgs boson. Higgs boson, Stamps boson. Higgs e. David Higgs, Poseon. No.

Yes, but he was released from Guantanamo Bay. Oh, imagine a fair weight resulted off his shoulders. I imagine he felt pretty light then. Wow, well, this is what it is. We can use the Large Hadron Collider in Surn to identify the weight, the particle that results in weight being lifted off the shoulder of those recently released from long-term incarceration without charge. Charge, electrical charge, that is.

No, not that, don't run that down. No, but I was going to say that that was a very handy idea. Yeah, thank you. Probably one of the most handy ideas. You have just been yourself so purely. Yeah, it's so nice, isn't it? To be me. Okay, but what about the opposite of a black hole?

Okay, white hole. No, not a whole white thing. White entrance way. No, wait, that's a kind of a hole. It's going to be a protrusion. What? White protrusion. White thing. White entrance way. No way, that's a kind of a hole. It's gonna be a protrusion of some kind. White protrusion. White lump. White lump.

White lump. White plug. White plug. What's a plug? What's your what, you put in a hole? It's the opposite of a hole. Yeah, boy, what else can you put in a hole? I love.

A lump. Oh, the nose. Through some kind of black glory hole. You put a nose in a hole. Only you have a hole in a nose. Yeah, but what's different? I've got two. I've already had two holes.

You put another one in there. Put that nose in his hole through the hole. Would you consider this to be listenable? Yes. Yes. So, lootly. I was just saying, because black hole, obviously, is a very dense area, right? That sucks everything in.

One hole would have to be very light, you know, very light. Almost the opposite of dense. We're almost the opposite of heavy. So it's an anti-gravity thing? Is it a marshmallow? Is marshmallow? Marshmallow could be a marshmallow. Marshmallow that smells. to grab anything or. Is it a marshmallow? Is kind of... A marshmallow could be a marshmallow.

Marshmallow that smells. Mmm. Mmm. I mean, it feels like it would be, you know, something that you want something that's exciting to find in space, which I imagine they're huge marshmallow. Marshmallow. Oh. But then also you could...

I think a marshmallow fighting a marshmallow in space would probably be the most incredible thing that NASA could do at this point, right? Because at the moment we're looking for intelligent life out in space. Is anybody looking for like John Marshall? You can't see the intelligent life for all the fucking marshmallows. All the marshmallows. I mean, imagine if that's what dark matter was. Marshmallows.

Yeah, for some reason, it's so light and fluffy that all our beams that try to detect it, just kind of pass right through it. Well, they just like sizzle it up and make it real crispy and delicious. Like that on the browning inside. And it's like, it's got that gooeyness on the inside. Oh, it's so good. The old, we drew a kind of'd be picked to a white marshmallow? Mix.

Mixed. Mixed by... Potty Mix, what about banana? How do you go? Oh, banana. Not sure about that. It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah, that none of us are interested in it.

That is an interesting and interesting thing. Yeah, so like, what would we see this as evidence of? Do you think that we would see this as evidence of... Why is there no chocolate marshmallow? Why? Well? Why haven't we gone with any other flavors in marshmallows? We've really settled on just a sort of a vanilla. There's the pink and the white but they taste exactly the same. You can't tell the difference, right? I mean it's the next frontier. Why would just put other flavors in marshmallow? I mean somebody at a sweet factory they must always try to put different flavors in different things. No but he's done anything with them. Well, we'll just put other flavors in marshmallow. Somebody at a sweet factory, they must always try to put different flavors and different

things. No, but he's done anything with that. Well, you know, when somebody revolutionized the jelly bean. Yeah, that's only in the last 15 years. And we're talking about jelly, but always jelly. Jelly Bellies, you know, they came out and they were like, oh, there's like popcorn flavor and walnuts. Yeah.

And then there's coffee flavor and ones. But there's a cinnamon. Are you not familiar with these? Yeah. Okay, right, right. But was there a second there where you've forgotten that they exist? No, I didn't realize that was the revolution.

That was, I mean, for a long time, it was just kind of like sugar. The different colors, but they're all just here. Yeah, okay, okay. Except for black, which is just like hell. Yeah. It was, they found a way to go. The black hole of jelly beans.

All right, we've nailed one flavor, and it's the one nobody wants. And how about the other flavors? How about sugar? What purpose does it serve the black one? It feels like it's doing something It's a reset or something. It's a it's jeopardy. It makes it a little bit like gambling People love that. Yeah, maybe there's like a game design element. Yeah It stops people from Just from eating feeding without without looking discriminately, it makes it an active pursuit.

You've got to engage, you're probably going to be living in the moment and paying present. You've got to be present. Yeah. I hadn't thought about how clever those were. I think if all fast food had things like that, I think a chips had some chips. Chip roulette. Yeah, exactly. A few chips sort of tasted, had spider venom and you know what I'm gonna do with that.

You get paid six bucks an hour to inject every fifth chip with spider venom. No. You gotta go melt the spider. Cokes thing, the fang of a tarantula onto a burger. Come here, you've got this chain, sort of like chain, chain mail glove that you got to grab them with. Come here! He's a feisty one.

Yeah, no, but I think it's not a bad idea, like a food system to really make you. Well, but also just in general licorice chips. I mean, I mean, yeah, any kind of hot fast food licorice element, licorice sauce for chips. Let's try and get that off the ground just bad ideas for the sauces But imagine that licorice sauce if it was mixed with tennis and squash Squash. Tennis N Squash. Squash Likrish sauce.

Squash Likrish. Squash. H-O-D-E. Whoa. Uhhh. Now look, is food relic the- Yeah, I think that's called- For consciousness.

Food relic for consciousness eating. I would like that in, you know, you see the health food bloggers. And they're making themselves like a nice, you know, you see the health food bloggers and they're making themselves like a nice, you know like a nice kale salad, you're the first person I ever met who ate kale, by the way. Oh, I don't know how to feel. No, you don't have to feel. You're full of goodness. It doesn't matter. You're gonna live for a long time not feeling anything. The kale's replaced my need to have an emotional loss.

You don't need to have an illness. You have a personality now. That's anything. The kale's replaced my need to have an emotional loss. You don't need to have an all you have a personality now. That's good. I'm so sorry. And they're making this kale salad, but then every seventh piece of kale, they're dipping in cyanide, or how about just another beef?

But cyanide, I don't think. I mean, it could be one or the other, it could go either way. beef but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but with your kale chips or whatever it is. Why, if it's just cyanide, is it gonna be a different color or something like that, or does one out of every 10 chips just kill you? Because then how is that contrast eating? That's just, the regular eating. Contrasting your own mortality.

Exactly. Okay. If you needed to be something else. Rocket, roulette. Okay, I know that sounds good, but. Thank you. It's still didn't answer the question that we were trying to answer something else. Rocket, roulette. Okay, I know that sounds good, but... Thank you. ...but still didn't answer the question that we were trying to answer just then. Oh, but I had to say it.

Yeah, no, no, you're right. Okay, so what about one, some of the pieces of rock are red and they're blood flavored. Thank you. There you go. And I think there should be one in each bowl of salad that's like blue and that gives you superhuman power. Like there should also be a reward system that you know you can shoot out bananas.

You want to be, you want to eat the salad. Exactly. The spicy blood. The spicy blood. The spiciness. You know there'll be like 12 sort of blood lettuce things in there. And then, and then one blue, superhuman one. Like one that like, you know, at least like makes you pee out rainbows.

So, you know, if you want that experience, you gotta find the blue leaf. It means you gotta eat your way through that salad. Don't just rummage through it to try to find. Pick out the blue ones. The blue ones. And then just go, whatever. But then some people are gonna just go,

well, why don't we just make a whole salad full of blue? But then people won't be consciously eating anymore. They'll just be eating fistfuls of superpowers. Yeah. It's coughing. That goes against the whole point of this entire magic lettuce. I know, but this is what people do. Oh, sure. The sugar is the good thing. So let's just remove everything else that isn't sugar from the plant. Extract that and make jelly peeps. And then make some of them black, so that's not just the same cycle, haps starting again. But then we'll find out that superpowers

give you cancer or something like that. Ultimately, superpowers are worse for you than you know. And then you cry, and then you cry, and then it's like a rainbow tear. Yeah. Rainboat tears, man, if we can get that off the ground, if we can get some sort of an implant or whatever that lets you cry rainboats, that did that go big on the internet.

I think that definitely would be... Just get that up as a kick start, I think. A little thing just goes in here. It's like a little printer cartridge, basically, it's tiny, right? Very pure stuff. It's locked into your little tearducts there. You cry rainbows. I think it'd be great for like drag queen performances. That's an idea, you end up performing, so you go, oh, like that.

Like rainbows running down your cheek. I can cry. I can cry. Rainbows. Beautiful. Why? I know there are so many tears that look like rainbows? It's a company that's starting. We've already got our possible video. Okay well let's just run

through the ideas real quick. Wrap this mouth out. Okay big spike piercing known as the the flatly the full flatly the full flatly also the the Flat leaf partly the Fat leaf partly that's Air air comes out of your hot air you're sort of poll hole Flat leaf partly Like that like that when you actually accidentally pierce your

lung. Oh, no. Take a breath over here. That's exactly what you didn't want to happen. Flaps the skin next to your pole. And just because. Yeah, I'm going to get Netflix soon. Yeah. I'll go to some flatly flatly from my pole hole. From my pole hole. But, you know, as it initially come up with as an anti-girating technology, but eventually it helped in the development of River Dance. And of course, just a statement, it's old piercings. Because every alt has to have its own alt. Oh, yeah.

And then there's also the Franken pier as well. That's within there. Then we have the idea of laughing as a second man to give an extra compliment to a joke that you really like. You know, you go not only am I laughing, but this other man that I created, there are two men laughing here. Oh woman. It's the same choice.

That's right. Oh, woman. It's the same. It's right. Your evil is equal to an evil laugh minus a regular laugh. Yeah. See? And that's how you get the answer. We've isolated it. And then you take that sound using... For your transforms.

For your transforms. And then you play it to pigs. You can test it on pigs and see if they become pure evil. Yeah, that was the idea we had. It's a black sound. That's the one. Yeah, I've got it and we've got the essence of it there. I was a dark sand um And then there's also I'll wait no that's I've written it is also a sound that is pure evil to make you evil

Um, we've already come up. What was the part where we was in a building? Maybe remember camera. Sorry Then we got the Easter snake. I guess this is one way that you could just change it so that first of all, the Easter bunny story makes more sense. Or, but also, if your kids don't like the Easter bunny, you could say, well, OK, will this you have the Easter

snake? For whatever reason. For whatever reason. Let's say you made some huge mistake. But I think you could also, you could, we could do sort of what Hinduism is done with their deities, where they have sort of, the opposites like the creator and the destroyer account

member, which is which, but it would be good if Easter instead of being sort of this mono, mono-creatural holiday with just the Easter bunny. If there was a dynamic relationship between the Easter Bunny and then the Easter snake, the bunny delivers the eggs, but then the snake can come in and eat them, swallow them, dislocate its jaw, swallow them whole, and just poop out the foil. Right? Or put it to kids something.

I thought it was going to be the snake lays the eggs and the bunny, which is also the prey of a snake often, is it slave who has to deliver it against its wing. Oh yeah, no good. That's where slavery ends. Well, I mean, kids have to learn about the mistakes of history. And also I think if you talk kids about slavery early on, they might realize that the way that they treat other kids sometimes is like that like their slave. I can't do that.

I wrote this memory of like I was being in like year two or three. And a guy when sent to me he goes, he goes, hey, ow, this isn't French though, but he goes, hey, how can you go and turn off that light over there? You know, thanks so much like that. And then I hear him say to the teacher because we're all in line about to get out of the thing goes, I noticed that if you pretend to be really friendly, you can get people to do anything you want.

Like that. How old were you reckon you were? I would have been five or six. Oh my God. What a terrifying thing for that child to have realized at that age. Yeah, he was also making out with people very early on. Like in year 4 or 5, like, mac and out, like laying on top of each other, kind of like, mac and out. Geez. I think it's because his parents were divorced.

Oh. Uh-huh. And then obviously we've got the, we've all heard of mixed sports, but what about sports, mixed sports, mixed with foods? We got yogurt lattes, chipalatas, and gulfsaukers spaghetti. That is, that is no sketch. That is absolutely a sketch. I mean, it's like, it's a new,, it's like you're trying to create a new business

But why just create one new sport, you know, because if you're a guy who invented yoga loties, right? You're just a person who's like I'm starting a You know I'm starting a Like a you know what room people come and do yoga loties, but then that's just one room Why don't one thing you're, you know, you don't, if people don't like that, then you're done, right? But if you've invented the idea of mixing sports, that mixing mixed sports with, with foods, you can have a series of places that all do different things and then you can start seeing which ones work the best

And you don't even need room sometimes it's outside. It's like hybridization of hashtags as well hashtag food Hashtag sport hashtag marketing-wise. It's genius It's actually genius. Yeah, you're getting all those markets on it Yeah, and you can get celebrities from so many different things you get all the celebrities from sports you could get have Jamie Oliver. Jamie Oliver, taking a football to Ben Beckham. And then Beckham is eating spaghetti. And he was eating spaghetti that Jamie made.

Yeah. And then he's loving it. He kicks the ball to him. The ball's full of spaghetti. He opens up the ball. Yeah. And then there's a whole team of all the women on the PGA tour there and they're and they're trying to stamp soccer balls

into the holes. What's not so like? Oh, then we got the artist administrator who decides to change the AFL so that it'll be both different and more meaningful. But also people will tune in to see how the rules have changed. Some people will tune out, but one of the things is that sometimes it could just be back to normal. And so then they'll always be like, oh, I better just check this. It's a bit of a roulette thing again. And also every time 100 people unsubscribe,

the rules get reset back to zero, and it starts a new wave. Or there's some way that that feeds back into the re-rule generation. It's a really big idea. Yeah. And every time a million people join up, that happens again as well.

The shape of the ball changes. The shape of the ball changes. Yes. And it becomes bigger than the ball. Or you add a ball. Yes. multi-ball pinball rules. And if you hit the ball with your paddle and it hits one of those other guys, it accumulates. I couldn't think of a good ball. It was really good. Then you genetically engineer a pig to be shaped in like a toothbrush and then we got the best meat, evil scenario scenario so you make meat more evil to make it

better more delicious and more defensible and more defensible exactly and and then we've got the food roulette for the contraceding which is when you put the awful bit of food. It's a bit like the idea that we came up with for vegan deniability where you go to a restaurant where one in every 10 meals is vegan but looks like meat and then you can convince yourself that you didn't actually eat the meat. That's right. But yeah, it's a similar. It's only like one in every 10 dishes.

It has some meat in it. Or something. Well. We've really fallen over the finish line today. Something well And one final noise from Steph Nice Thanks everybody for listening to the podcast Stephanie Brought you

Thanks for coming here. Thank you. Can you promote one of your 10 Instagram accounts? Worry lines, worry underscore lines. Worry underscore, underscore lines. It's very dumb. It is a great comic that you can check out that Steph Fenehan paints herself.

I've never checked this out. Oh mate, you are missing out of the worry on the school lines. If you have a comic. Oh, a comic's a strong word. It's just stupid. I'm not even doing it. It's a doodle a day basically, but I haven't done one today.

Yeah. You're going to do one today though. Oh yeah. You haven't had any ideas for all one? I've had a comic. You know, me and Steph once were doing had this idea of like sending each other little doodles that we were drawing. Doodle pong. And then we said we said, we said a little, and now we're coming with the name for doodle pong within Steph's. So that sounded

too much like a wiffy penis. I did not. I did not say that. No, you didn't say that well. I think you did. You weren't, I don't think that's a nice call it time. Yeah, I do. Call it wiffy penis. Wiffy penis. It's another one of my nicknames. Yeah. All the sesame noodles with he penis. Hike I with peanut with he new.

I think I ate some of those last week. You can find us at Two in Tank where I'm at LSTTB. I'm at Stupid Old Annie. We're not going to plug a comic festival show to you today. Don't even try to come. Yeah. Until September if we are doing it then. Yeah, we will keep you posted. And thank you again to everyone who came to the show.

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