Two In The Think Tank - 186 - "BOY BAND WHO ONLY DO PARODY SONGS"

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

Slap Phone, Slap of the Year, Hungry Boys, PBB, Dog INvasion, Free Sample Angler Fish, Rambo: Dead TorsoHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereEverybody's favourite thanks to George for producing this episode., Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Bottle. Bottle. Bottle. Bottle. Bottle. Bottle. Bottle. Bottle. Hello, I'm Andy and I am Alistair the Tromblay virtual. I took me so long to work out what people were talking about when they were referred to four letter words You know, and like a TV series called like love is a four letter word and I was like yeah, it is I don't I don't go what what are you talking about but then why would you point that out? Oh, we're saying that it's like a bad word. Yeah, it was sort of a joke on that idea, you know,

to call that a word, but. But it's so unclear. So unclear. Like, it's one of those things that, I think if you were writing a poem, which I imagine this might be one of the places where this originated, it's so, it takes so long to interpret it,

that you would consider it quite a difficult poem. Mm. And, and. What are you saying? Like if that was a line. Four letter word. Yeah, love is a four letter word that was in a poem. Yeah, right. You would consider that quite a difficult poem. I would consider it one of the hardest, one of the most impenetrable of all the poems.

I would put that up with the, up there there with you know, Keats. This Keats difficult. Was he impenetrable? I think he might be impenetrable. Or maybe Yeats or Yates. I don't know, fuck. Who was the one who died when he was 23 and wrote Brightester? That guy. I tried to read some of his poetry. I was like, there's nice words. I don't know what it is, mains. Yeah, but oh, it was nice word, but they're not even his though, aren't they? No, you're right. He's just assembling a Voltron that was that all the parts were designed

by a factory. Yeah, I mean, it's bailiart. I guess, I guess photography is kind of that. It's just finding the nice things and framing it, you know, so it's not you're not making anything, but you say, you know, you're framing. I think if you're making the words, if you're making original words, even then you're just working with the alphabet that was already established. If you're creating a truly original alphabet, assembling them in as yet unseen combinations and then still communicating meaning for your poem? I think you're doing art. But I think, but I mean, in that circumstance, you're still kind of using, sort of familiar ideas and recognizable things that exist in people's minds already.

Okay. So you're not kind of not a semblance. You think you think you are? You think you're using? Well, I mean, you said communicating meaning, which means that you're, oh, you're, you know, you think you're using... Well, I mean, you said communicating meaning, which means that you're... Oh. You're, you know, you are using sort of notions that exist in the culture or whatever,

so that, you know, maybe sound alike, so whatever, if you kind of, you know, assembly like an alphabet and you're like, one of the letters is garbles. You know, one of the letters is zaghanoo, like that, you know, two of the letters are brim Two of them yeah They're the twins

Brim Umla and brim Gugla Like that right, but then you put them together and you make a word the Harkelsfloggan like that And then you somebody listens to that and they go, oh, it has a German feel to it, which probably communicates this when you put it together with these other words. And so suddenly, you're just using, you know, you may as well just be using existing words. You might as well just be pointing to a picture. You might as well just be slapping someone in the face for all this sophistication of what you're trying to achieve.

Exactly. Yeah. Slapping in the face is all this sophistication of what you're trying to achieve. Exactly. Yeah. Slapping in the face is a very understandable... Slapping in the face is a form of communication. And it's interesting to me that nobody, most forms of communication, people try and turn them into an art form. But violence is yet not, is one where the language hasn't yet been used to communicate feelings other than out. I would like to see a slap in the face into the dictionary.

Yes. It's a step beyond emoticons, emojis. And it would be great to see a phone that can slap you in the face. Yes. Okay. I think a phone that can, okay, I think getting the slap into the dictionary, slap in the face, is being like the word of the year, you know, how time or whatever, not time.

Yeah. It's new, it's dictionaries that always have the word of the year. McCwory, McCwory, or McCwory dictionaries, word of the year, this year is a slap in the face. Sure. Right? They've probably already done an emoji one. I guarantee that some dictionary somewhere is done an emoji. A latte emoji. Probably. I think that we're good today, aren't we?

Yeah. You want to start again? We'll just go straight to the end. I don't at all. I want to keep going out of the step because I think also a phone that can slap you in the face. Yeah, it's perfect. Sure, and I guess that would also be a step towards fixing some of this trolling and stuff. And that you can't, you're not allowed. Do you hear my voice? You're stomach just making noise.

It was up in my throat. I was a weird, It was a weird moment. It was a weird moment. But it was clearly very audible. Yeah, it was a new language and it made me feel something. So it's very relevant. Excellent. It kind of sounded like a bubbling cauldron.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. If we need more diverse language, we've got to get the burp sounds into there somehow. We haven't played with that at all. That's an entire different register that the human body's capable of. That's true.

I think it is. Well, you know, the burped alphabet. Yeah. We talked about that on the show. It feels like something that we've talked about. I think we have. I think we've talked about the burped alphabet. We must have.

All right. I mean, is it possible for people who have lost their voice box due to cancer or something to continue to burp noises? Burp says, can they still do the burp alphabet? Can they still burp communicate? I wonder. Yeah. And then could we get the first burp president? That's all I'm saying. The burping, like the exclusively burping president. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's amazing just to get like a sign language

one first, but the fact that it's. We skipped that over completely. I mean, and that would mean that would open the door, I think, for the sign language people. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because your hands are free. You've got to open the door for them.

I guess so, yes. Yeah. Yeah. But a phone that can slap you in the face, right? This is a new thing. Now, what's the risk here? People hack your phone. We all get slapped into submission by, you know, it's a weapon right there.

Well, of course, because now that your phone has a hand, it can crawl itself around, which is great when you've lost your phone. Sure. You go, boom, boom, like that hand, it'll come to you. But you could also send your phone into somebody else's room to go and like, slap them in the face, grab them in the butt,

in the butt, like, I'm talking in the butt. How does that work? You, I don't think it's possible to grab someone in the butt. Well, not fully in the butt. But let's say picture three fingers. Two fingers in a thumb, pinching. Like, you know, you're making little duck face or whatever you can like that.

Then you place that right into the end of the anus yeah, and then you pinch some of the skin I think that's still grabbing the butt. I don't think that's grabbing in the butt That's in the inside the butt. Well, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about in no You're not talking about it and you're talking about outside. You're talking about the end of the end I just said you plunge that in oh, I didn't hear plunge. Well, I don't know if I use the plunge But I I have to use more obvious language because I don don't understand. You don't understand things when I'm talking. Yeah. Okay, you plunge it in.

And then what are you gripping? You're gripping the sides. The walls. The walls. And I don't think you can pull all the walls. I don't think you'd be able to pull all the walls together like that. I'm not saying pulling all the walls.

I'm just saying you're pulling this, you're pinching this in on one of the walls. You're pinching one side of the wall. Yeah. I think it's too smooth. I don't think you're gonna get a grip. Well, it's not about smoothness. It's about how it's all. I reckon on one of the walls. You're just pinching one side of the wall. Yeah. I think it's too smooth. I know that you're gonna get a grip. Well, it's not about smoothness. It's about how it's taught.

I reckon they probably design the butt. Yeah. In such a way that it's not possible to get a hand hold in this. There's no loose skin. Yeah. So that nothing can climb up there. Well, it'll be a real risk. It'll be a real old butt.

Okay. You know, one that's lost some of its elasticity yeah, yeah, or firmness and things like that people will be you know when people start complaining I'll have to ask my parents whether this is a thing well they'll know That's a good yeah So good topic to break up with your folks. I'm dead. Yeah, what'd you say? Yeah, it's like fun. I just heard about this. I'm apparently, this is a face palm pilot.

This is some things that you can't learn unless you know lots of different types of people in your life, right? That apparently when you get older, some of the, for women, some of the inside of your vagina parts gets thinner, and it's like more, I think it could be a more uncomfortable. Right. Things like that in there. And then you can get a laser, I think, called a Mona Lisa, or it's like a treatment called

a Mona Lisa, and the laser goes in there, and it causes things to thicken up. Wow. So like with like scar tissue or something. I'm not sure. I don't know if it's scar tissue. I don't know if it's burning. That doesn't sound like it would be comfortable.

It could just be it's responding to light. Maybe in nature, there's more light because you know, like people are more advanced. Did they photosynthesize? It could be. It could be. It could be. It could be. It's just creating chlorophyll.

Yeah. It's chlorophyll thickness that's lost over the years. Yeah. Anyway, I just, it was just the idea because I was like, oh, I've never even heard of that. You can do way too many things with lasers. I think, I think at least half of them would got to be bogus.

All right? Well, this is one that doesn't seem bogus at all, Andy. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry if sometimes you're wrong. And it's clear. I don't feel wrong, but I guess that's what being wrong feels like. Yeah, that's something I've been saying for years.

You've been saying this for years. Yeah, you're not wrong. Have you written, what have you written down? I've written saying for years. You've been saying this for years. Yeah, that's not wrong. What have you written down? I've written down a phone that can slap you. But can we get the slap in the face as an emoji or as get it in the dictionary or do you not accept that as well? Do you think that that's a separate sketch? That's part of the same idea?

No. No. I don't think it's a separate idea. Okay. But I mean, they could be connected, but I also like to think that like, getting a whole range of physical things, like this feels like the progression of,

because language is devolving, you know? People don't even know how to write anymore else. I don't even know this. All they do is just send each other emojis. We don't look into each other's eyes anymore, except for you and me while we do a podcast. And that's why we're dedicated to this podcast, it's just for the eye contact. It's real deep.

It becomes more awkward after you mention it, doesn't it? And when we say eye contact, we do mean eye contact. Yeah, we're actually touching eyes. Eye to eye. But it seems like it would be uncomfortable, but the other person's eyes so smooth and lubricated. The eye is actually the only thing that you can touch an eye with and it doesn't hurt. It's like when you put your finger in a balloon, but when you've already dipped your finger in some balloon mix, some of that balloon liquid, not a balloon above it.

I was really on board though, Elastair. I like it before you changed it. I'm really sorry. I like balloon mix as a concept. Well, I mean, I'm sure there's a similar idea. Like with bubbles, there's liquid balloon, which is just kind of a hot rubber. I think we've got to get this. It's room temperature hot rubber. And then it somehow sets. So at room temperature, it's hot. Yeah. temperature, it's hot. Yeah.

Yeah. Is this just a hot room? Sure, we're not on drugs when we do this podcast. I'm sure. I do quite a hot room here right now, and I am wearing a beanie. Well, it's actually not a hot room. You're just wearing a shirt, a jumper, and a jacket.

And fingerless gloves. Fingerless gloves. And a beard. A headphone's over my ears. I'm feeling very warm. Maybe I'll take off a layer. You look like DJ Vagrant right now. Yeah.

Is that a bad word to say? I'll, I'll, on the streets. And something the beats. Right? Yes. Um, on the streets and off the beats. No, that's the other one. That's if I'm syncopated.

Off the streets and on the beats. Yeah. Yeah. Off the street. Yeah. We don't need to go into that. What's syncopated to do again? You told me, was that rag time?

I think. Look, I'm not sure. You were telling me how syncopated rhythms. You told me what me, was that rag time? I think, look, I'm not sure. You were telling me how to syncopated rhythms. You told me what they were from. Some kind of jazz? Oh, I know. I think there might have been some from Caribbean music. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's not what I remember. You're telling me.

Oh, well, I can't remember. I don't remember telling you. Maybe it was Carly that was telling me. My good good lovely wife Oh, yeah, the only two people in my life that I turned to for information about music I thought we weren't telling the audience is that we were partnered So that you seemed more available. Yeah, the manager has been very insistent. Yeah, but In order to appeal to even more to our audience of whoever you are. Yeah, yeah. I assume you're all here for first reasons.

No, but it could just be, I mean, it could be thirst, but just for the, you know, you're more available to have a beer occasionally. Which at the moment, you're not really available for that. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Most of your nights are taken out and you're taken up and you live out of town. And nobody's going to bulk to either town you live in. So this is a boy band, right?

And their audience is all Italian nonners, right? And their managers insist that they never seem very well fed. Oh, that's great. They gotta always look like they're skin and bone. Yeah, that's great. We've got to always look like they're skin and bone. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they look hungry and they say, they want to take you. I'm hungry for something you may.

It's you got to take advantage of this aging population. Yes, yes. So like they greeted at the airport by just thousands of screaming nonners, all of them with a big bowl of bolognese or something like that, big sauce, but they're holding it up. In Italy, they don't eat bolognese.

Really? Yeah, I don't think so. Is that a myth, is it? Hey, no, no, that's something we eat here. What about Bologna? What are they eating Bologna? Bologna. Oh, they eat nothing but Bologna there.

I'm pretty sure, look, I read that somewhere where they're like, Bologna is just not a dish that we eat over here. And I think they think it's an abomination. I'm really, if we have any Italian listeners, really reach out because I think at the moment, I'm generalizing based on pieces of knowledge that I'm not 100% sure I have.

And I'm disturbing the floor flow of a great sketch idea. No, I mean, I think we've probably got everything that we're out of it that we're going to. They had Kennolly. They had Kennolly. We had canola. They had canola. They had canola. They had calzone. Canola you. Canola you.

Canola you. Canola you. Canola you. Canola you. Yeah. That's a quite working. Blownly. Blownly.

Blownly. So, balloonly. Blownly. So, balloonly. Blownly. Blownly. Blownly. Blownly.

Blownly. Blownly. Blownly. Blownly. Blownly. Blownly. So below me. That's a high pitch one. The only one. Lonely. I'm Mr. Belonely. So they only do parody.

No, no. There's actually a guy in Melbourne who does those. I think a boy band, real sexy boy band, who do exclusively parody songs. No way, way, way out. This is gonna hit. No, no, no, it's gonna be big. I mean, parody songs are probably, they do hit with people more than almost anything.

Yeah. But I like to think that they're writing originals. Oh, this is, I'm talking already about a different scale. Yeah, sure. Right? Like, basically, they're the boy band Weird Al. Okay. Yeah. And, you know, they're real sexy. You know, a lot of choreographed dance moves, but everything's like a parody of, I don't even know any of the current songs.

What's the most current song I know? Probably Hello by Adele. That'd be only eight years old or something, wouldn't it? Yeah, looking, I'm looking to. Yeah, they do a parody of that. My Anna Conded, don't want, no, no, that's not true. I'm sure I know others, I just, I don't can't name them.

Yeah. I know that Tyler, the creator released an album recently. I'll see this is good. This is current. This is feeling current. And it has like the name of like a monster. Maybe Igor. Wait, that's not a monster. Wait, I can look this up. Do you want me to try? You'll have to keep talking. Oh, this is always the worst part of everybody's day when I have to keep talking. It's called Igor, but it's not the name of a monster. It's called Igor.

Yeah. The hunchback. People apparently love that album. Really? Yeah. Does he sing, um, bring and hunchback? See, that'll be one of our parody songs. Yeah.

And then he's, that he keep, I keep it in my back pack. I hide it in my backpack, maybe. Yeah, something like that. Or you think I got a backpack. Yeah, that's good. Because I guess he's bringing it back. So he's like owning it. Yeah.

Yeah. And that'll be great for the hunched community. If this doesn't, if they're doing a new Shrek coming up and Donkey need, or somebody needs a parody song for the Shrek, I think a hunchback, sexy back, parody. But you're right, I don't know if they've done a hunchback. I mean, I haven't watched the last two Shrecks admittedly, but I don't know if they've done a hunchback. I mean, I haven't watched the last two shrecks admittedly, but I don't know if they've done a hunchback character. Baby hunchback. That's a baby hunchback. Back or right. Oh yeah, that's good.

That's a baby hunchback, back, all right. Oh yeah, that's good. But what about baby hunchback? That's about a baby. Hunchback baby. It's so cute. It's really adorable. Yeah. I don't know if a hunchback is probably not a correct term to be using.

Andy, reality has just come flooding back in. As soon as I started thinking about the babies, I was like, what kind of a life are they going to have if we're just pointing out their hunchback? And then by saying that it's adorable, what am I doing there? I don't know. Nothing I feel confident doing. And and in showing our doubt and our awareness, we can at least move on. I made a hope so.

What if we say, sorry to anybody who that bothered? Sure. Great. Sorry to anybody that that bothered. We don't know what we're doing. And we're back. Great. Back on solid ground. Yeah. Talk about uncertainty. Exactly.

Now, I haven't written down the boy band that does parody songs. Why not? But I don't understand how that is a thing. It just feels like something that someone would do. It's not necessarily a comedy idea. I think of something like a behind-the-music type documentary about a boy band and their huge success doing parody songs

and how everybody thinks it's so sexy when they do this parody songs. They literally are just like weird, our style singing about aluminum foil instead of singing about the royals, Lord Song royals or whatever. Is that what he did? Yeah. Aluminium foil. Yeah, just something about foil.

Is that rapid in foil? You know, that kind of thing. Oh, weird. Come on, weird. What are you doing? Can I call you weird? Well, that's right. Paul Lefhtonkins calls him weird. That's a weird.

Does he? In one of you, so weird. That was a, I gotta say, look, it wasn't spot on in terms of voice, but that was a good Paul Lefhtonkins tone. Yeah. And the physicality as well was, you had to take my word for this lesson as, but it was spot on. You got to take his word. That wasn't right. That was something weird. That was something else. That was a different thing in Tyley. Yeah. And, you know, they go through the traditional ups and

downs of boy bands. It all falls apart. People find out that they weren't writing their own parody songs. Oh no. They had ghost parody songwriters. But then they come back with a new album where they've written all the parody songs themselves and they're not quite as good, but people appreciate the authenticity. They're struggles with drugs.

And then that really feeds into the parody songs. Yeah, and then the parody songs get really weird for a bit. I mean, that's a great idea. There, once they go through the really drug-y phase. Yeah. And then I had a first while I started just parodying songs by just finding really high end poems that kind of just fit perfectly over the lyrics, you know. And I don't mean over the lyrics because we kept the lyrics in.

And I don't mean over the lyrics. Alright, Andy, I'm 100% on board. Yeah, wow. 100%. What do they call, by the way? Paraditals. Paraditals. Paraditals. Paraditals, yeah sure. Paradese lost. I mean that was, is it was paradise lost a band?

Yeah, it's a novel. It's kind of like a band. It's kind of like a band. It's kind of like a, like a, a page of pages. Yeah, each page is a member. When I wrote a book, I always regard each page as being a member of the band. And they got to all work together. That's right. You know? And if one is out of sync, and is sort of like one of the pages of the bad boy and one of the pages is the blonde one.

Yeah, and then there's like 360 other pages. That's real hard. And one of the pages is the old guy called AJ and he's got double earrings. Yeah, and one of the pages is Mark Wahlberg's brother. Yeah, and one of the pages always, no, all the pages are constantly pointing at you. Yes. I think you could, you could totally call a boy band pages. Absolutely. Yeah. Or at least an album, a boy band album, one of their light album pages. No, pages is the name of the boy band. The first album that's called The Book. Yes, the Book of Pages or the other way around.

I've also heard it in jazz, like old jazz musicians go, I got to learn every song in the book. You know, and so there's like the books of like all the standards. Yeah. And you got to learn every song in the book. Maybe I could be called the standards. No, look, it's time to move on Hey, Dave you're Andy since we founded bombas

We've always said our socks underwear and t-shirts are super soft any new ideas maybe Sublimely soft or disgustingly cozy wait, what I got it bombas Observedly comfortable essentials for yourself and everyone on your list. And for those facing homelessness. Because one purchase equals one donated. Wow, did we just write an ad? Yes. Bombas. Big comfort for everyone.

Go to bombas.com slash a cast and use code a cast for 20% off your first purchase. Yeah. Right? How do you feel about, how do you feel about ranches? Big, or just big? Just big, you know, open fields, a lot of cattle. How do you feel about those wooden fences that they seem to have? I mean, I love that fence, and I love that barn. I feel like that fence is a lot of work building that fence all out of planks of wood.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, which fence are you talking about? I'm talking about that fence that's got like the wood the wood wouldn't vertical post. Yeah, and then the two horizontal horizontal and then the one in the middle. Yeah, that's so that's so labor intensive to build a fence. You know, you're fencing some huge ranch. You want the wire, I think. Yeah, but that but you're saying the wire is the alternative, right? That is the alternative. Yeah, but the wire you never really get to have that that horizon nobody ever does that horizontal wire. No, no But I mean you want to be able to go in and put the yeah, the wire you can't go up and you can't lean on it You know, you can't I mean you can lean on the post. Yes, but you can lean on the post

You want to lean on that bar there, you know, but take your hat off And someone else comes up and leans next to you. I think that wire is good if you're like, you know, if you're just trying to keep some sheep and some cows. And sure, if that's all you're in farming for. You know, and even maybe some horses. Yeah. Right?

But if you're trying to break a horse, you know, you're trying to break its spirit. Yeah. You're trying to break it's spirit over time, so that it becomes domesticated. Geez. Are there any other animals where you have to break their spirit? I mean, imagine if every domesticated animal, every chicken individually had to have it spirit broken before you could put it into the chicken farm.

I mean, you know, we break their spirit by just taking them away from their mothers. I think it probably helps. Yeah. I mean, maybe some are just more easily broken. Because they're smaller. Puppies, you know, dogs, cats. I think the thing about puppies and that's the stuff, they come with their spirits pre-broken.

Their spirits were broken ages ago that it got into the genetics. But horses, they're still. Yeah, I mean, I guess because they still see that they have a chance because of their physical superiority to us. Yeah. And I guess that means that horses still have it in them to rebel.

Right. There still is the possibility that horses will rise up. Yeah. I think dogs could still rise up. I think dogs could rise up. I mean, I think if it was me versus an angry dog, they're in a better position, aren't they? Well, we've let them into our homes. Yes. You know, you could figure out, you know, you could imagine a circumstance in which like

a battleship of dogs arrived, you know, on the coasts, and they made it clear that they were going to invade. And then suddenly we have to take all of our dogs and put them in like an internment camp. Because they can't be trusted anymore. They can't be trusted. Well, we don't know. Is this been part of their whole information, infiltration, ideas, things like that? You know, this is a sad story because I think it's it. I feel like I'm I'm alluding to things that really happened in the world and that weren't that wasn't okay when they did that. No, but that's okay. I don't think people think that we're endorsing it by saying that

we'd have to do it to dogs. No, but people might do it. But you know what happens to the dogs, right? They're all on that warship, right? They launch a missile. Yeah. Of course. What do they do?

They all chase it. They all chase it, try and get it, bring it back. It's instinct. They can't fight that, and they all dive into the ocean. Yeah, and then they start swimming towards land. Yeah. And I guess we can just sort of they all dive into the ocean. Yeah, and then they start swimming towards land. Yeah. I guess we can just sort of pick them all up

and there's no one. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. They're pretty vulnerable there. Right. Yeah, no, what I'd like to see? I'd like to see a dog swimming freestyle. I would like that. Get that arm up and over.

Yeah. All four arms. Well, they could, couldn't they? Yeah. I mean, I think that arm up and over. Yeah. All four arms. Oh, well, they could, couldn't they? Yeah. I think that would look pretty good. I mean, it would look so spooky. Getting that big, big over shoulder kind of turn like that. Yeah.

Hello. Hmm. I mean, would you do, you would do have to alternate sort of left arm over and right leg over at the same time. Yeah. And then, or you're going like one, two, you know, one, like front, left, back, right, front, right, back, left. And then you could do that really, sort of quick succession, sort of like the, I don't know, like the paddles on a steamboat turning thing.

Basically, I think we're describing a cartoon, right? It's probably how a lot of things swim in a cartoon. You know, when they've, when they've got to get to whatever they see a stick of dynamite or something, and they've got to get away from it or in the water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, water proof dynamite. Fishing dynamite. Water proof dynamite, that's my...

That's my underwater black exploitation name. They call them water proof dynamite. What are you writing down? I'm writing down dog invasion. Dog invasion. Sure. Just pick them off. Do you think that thing about the fire and the missile? They all jump out to taste the bit. Yeah, that's the bit. Yeah. Right.

Oh, so good. I think the bit where you do have to individually lock up all your dogs as well. All send them away. Yeah. I'm quite sure how they're driving the ship. Well, it would be built for their type. You know, you're picturing a human ship. They built the ship. You're picturing a human ship.

It's just like a planet of the Apes type thing, but we don't. That's not, it could be an island of the dogs. Yeah, that checks out. Yeah, or maybe they come from a cavern. Mm-hmm. You know, you never see this, but like, what about like an island? It's not an island. It's just like, it's just basically the edges of a cave entrance that stick out of the middle of the ocean. Just the ocean.

And then it never, like a plug hole, not quite like a plug hole. Sort of like the opposite of a plug hole. But, so like the top. Kind of like the opposite of a plug hole, because it's for the air to get down, rather than the water. Yeah. And so, it's for the air to get down, rather than the water. Yeah.

And so, it's a bit like more like a flu, but a flu that you can go into. Yeah. Which I guess is just any flu if you're small enough. We're learning. Yeah. And then you go in there and that's where the sort of cavern of the dogs is.

You go down there and then, what, I mean, I guess there could be a whole other layer, there could be more, there could be another ocean down there. Well I guess there would be occasionally some spillover in there. It bound to be right? Yeah. You're playing a high risk game. You get a big wave, you get a swell on.

Yeah, I mean, but it's not a game, it's real life. That's the thing. You know, it's a Holy Co system of just dogs. And they've got a ship building. How do you get the ship up? Hey, how do they ship up out of the flu? Well, they're rabbits. They like rabbits. They're not rabbits. But you know what I mean? They're, oh man. They, you know, they mind the ground. Yeah. So it's all sand and stuff down. Well, it's probably not all sand, some of it's dirt, you know, and so then they get stuff.

And so they can all build it down there and they can just push it through, you know, some sand, you know, like I think if the, think about this, if the, if the wall is sand, it's thick enough between the inside and the outside. Right, so that when the ship was to start going, like let's say it was swimming its waif out through the sand. Ella's demonstrating paddling. Yeah. I think the ship paddles like a dough.

Well, it kind of like rockets its its way out through the sand. Yeah. Right. But the sand, the sand bank is so thick that there's at least two, three lengths of ship worth of sand. So then as the ship goes through, the sand kind of collapses behind it and seals up the bank like that so that it comes out and the water never enters into the cavern. That's quite good. Yeah, they can just, they can launch ship after ship after ship as long as they're not in, sort of in too much, you know, a quick succession. Yeah. You've convinced. It kind of seems stupid now that you have. Yeah, I feel real dumb. I'm imagining now that Australia, right, because you got a couple of options, you want imagining now that Australia, right? Because you've got a couple of options.

You want more land in Australia, right? So you shouldn't have enough space on this continent. It's jam packed down here, right? You know, people talk about reclaiming land and China's trying to build those islands, Spratly islands or whatever they're called, sandwich islands, Spratly islands. Spratly.

Let's call them Spratlies. And you could do that, or you could, we could leave the edges of Australia there, and then we could dig down everywhere, and then dig out a bit, make Australia sort of go out under, and we could have a bunch of people who just wait near The surface like of the sand. Yeah close the edges. Yeah, so if any like enemies are just like swimming by

So that you can reach out and just grab them. Yep. You know everything like you know you're in a movie You're in a movie where there's like things that reach out and grab things You just if you picture what that would be like as being a person who's there Just having to wait for someone to come through Yeah, and just reach out and grab right what If you picture what that would be like as being a person who's there, just having to wait for someone to come through and just reach out and grab. Right. What do you do? Do you put the hand over the mouth and you say, don't scream. Is that what you say? I would grab like a foot or a leg or something like that and start pulling them into the sand. So where are the people, the people are in the sand.

They're under the sand. How are they surviving? Well, on their side, it's a cavern. Right. And the sand is somehow still sand. Yeah, it has the structural integrity required to support all the water above. Yeah, but you can still somehow sand, so it's going to be swimming over the top. Yeah. I mean, you plunge your hand through. Yeah. And you can pull the person down through the sand, through the layer of sand, the structurally sound sand, right, into the cabin underneath. That doesn't damage the sand either. It keeps its integrity.

Does it go sort of go, yeah, well, if you want it down, if you want it, you can make it happen. I mean, I think probably a lot of that could be done with sort of positive air pressure in there. No, I don't know how much of that could be done with sort of positive air pressure in there. No, I don't know how much of it could be done with that. Yeah, and a lot of it would keep like, you know, a lot of positive air pressure, like I'm talking about a fair bit. Okay. You know, like, this is like a bottle of compressed air essentially.

Yeah. And that will hold a lot of the sense of it. It can be hard though, because of all the Australia has been a vacuum dug out to make this. So it's kind of like all there could just go out the hole where Australia's been dug out, couldn't it? Well, no, you just seal that off. Okay, so that's sealed off. So we're just living underground then. What was the game? The idea we've come up with is a digging hole.

I mean, I mean, most of your idea was for us to live underground under the ocean and not use much of the other bit, but it's just to get a bit more land, it's gonna have bunk beds in there. So like that. Yeah, as far as you could, you know, you go down, get some bunk beds. What extra benefit do you see then?

If it's not grabbing enemies legs, I mean, or just foreign legs. I just think it would look really cool. Yeah. Sort of goes out like that down and out. It's like, you know, when you buy a block of land in the city, because you're gonna build a multi-story building,

right, you don't just build up, you build down as well, right? So why don't we take the whole country down? And you know, you dig down, I love seeing down those big holes, and good would it be for all of Australia was a big hole like that. That would be nice.

And then that's where you put the multi-story car park. But instead we just dig down, we dig out, right? You can go out as far as you want, because that's everybody's, right? Down under there, there are rules about how far out you can dig down under the ground. That's true, that belongs to everybody. And do you think?

And once you're out there, that's yours. But if that's also, so it doesn't belong to everybody, as soon as you're there, it's yours. Nothing's so. But can somebody just go out there and just claim everything? Do you think, would it be international waters then you'd have to go all the way out to international water? You dig out to international waters, right? If you're underground, are you still in international waters then? I gotta be right. Yeah. There's the law of the sea. Yeah, right?

Does that apply if you're a dig a hole under the under the floor of the. And does the pressure that's like at the bottom of the ocean, like when you're under all that water, if you just have like a like a room, an empty room under the sand under that ocean, is the pressure still high? I don't think it necessarily would be because you get those, you know, you take a submarine down there. Yeah. It's not necessarily high pressure in the submarine, is it? No, but I think it's because the submarine, yeah, you're right. So the submarine... But they do actually have to,

they would probably have to increase the air pressure in the submarine. Yeah, they have to do stuff. Stoppers from crushing? Yeah, they do. But they wouldn't increase it all the way to be like equal to the pressure of the... Yeah, I think if they made the pressure

in the submarine high enough, the person can like reach out of the submarine and grab the legs of fire through the wall. So you're down there, bottom of the marionas treche, you see your nativeie swimming across. The pressure's high enough, so you can reach out and grab and pull them in and they won't know what happened. Well, I think the only problem is that once your hand gets out of there, the pressure will be so high that your hand will get crushed. I don't think it will. No.

No. Is that how that works? Well, you know, what's inside your hand to get crushed? There's no air in your hand. Have you ever felt any pressure on your hand? But like just like the pressure, it's all the water. It's all the water from having all that other water on top of it. I think it gets

kind of, it gets compressed. I guess. Yeah. As I water can barely get compressed, but if you get enough water on top of that water, I think it gets a bit compressed. I don't know. I don't know. This is a weird area where it's beyond my ability to reason coherently about how that would, how that would work. But I was very, I mean, I didn't think it was until you gave me arguments to the opposite effect. I was very confident that I could reason it until you pointed out why I was wrong. Well, it's all the extra weight, right? You did that thing where you squeezed your hand. I was like, no, you can feel that. The hand can feel pressure.

Yeah, it's so, I mean, I didn't think it was a bit weird that you thought that the hand could help feel pressure. Like it was a part of the body that didn't even. I'm just not sure. I'm just not sure. Well, this is part of me that still doesn't totally believe it. But, yeah. I'll stay.

But I mean, I'm willing to give you this one. You know those creatures though, that live at the bottom of the, and they seem pretty floppy, don't they? They do. But I guess they find an equilibrium. I think that's, it's all about the equilibrium. Right.

They've got, I still, I don't see this as why I'm not sure. Hmm. I guess if you're floppy, pressure doesn't matter as much because you kind of just spread out a bit. Do you think you spread out? If you're floppy. Yeah. Or do you think you... Do you think that's what, I don't know that any of this counts as reasoning out of state? No. Like, if the pressure's all around you. Yeah, or do you think you think that's what I don't know that any of this counts as reasoning out. No. No. Because the pressure is all around you. Yeah. Right. It's pushing

from every direction. So you can't really spread out. Can you? It's not like it just pushes you down. It pushes you in as well. It might pressure. It might pressure you, Ferbett. You know, is it pushing you from down below? Yeah, it does. Yeah. It's cool. Pressures all around. Yeah, absolutely. I guess that I am confident about. Okay, you're right. Yeah. So I guess because it's coming off of the ground and an equal and opposite thing and an equal and opposite force, right? I don't think it's even about it coming off the ground. I think it's just all around you and all it's all. Yeah, I guess it's compression. Yeah, it's pressure. Yeah. Yeah. What about if there's a room under the sand? Yes.

Where there's somebody under there. Does that affect them? The fans, if they reach out. Yeah. Grab your pull you down. Well, what would you have in a room at the bottom under the deepest part of the ocean? Like, let's say you did, like,

OK, so you found out today. Right. You've got a room under the Mariana Trench. Yeah. And it's yours. Yeah. And you can do with it what you want. I can go look at my phone.

Okay, but so then what's in the room? I can sit, no, just look at it. So I just want to check. What kind of chair? Soft, I suppose. Like a soft. Yeah, just like maybe a quite a nice arm chair with arms and sit down. And then you can put my feet up. Look at my phone.

No, it's a godmother man. But I think there's not going to be any phone network down there. Doesn't matter. I'll download some stuff. I'll look. I refresh it anyway. Even when I'm on the train, there's no reception. I'm always looking.

Just in case. Yeah, I still have a good time. Do you think you get around to do it any rating? Maybe eventually. Yeah. I've finished looking at my phone, gone through all the things, checked that none of those are working even though there's no reception. What did it in?

Is that working? No. You could look at the walls a little bit and you're like, oh, I wonder if anything is going to collapse on me. If you were an Anglerfish, right, but an Angler fish that hunted for humans, but on land, what would you have dangling from your little thing? Not just a light, right? Because we're not just attracted to lights,

not just stupid fish. What would you have there, dangling out the front? I think in general, if you were praying, if you evolved to pray on your fellow man, how do you think you would have evolved differently? Right? You think you're thinking that I haven't evolved to pray on my fellow man. But let's see. I feel like we've touched a little bit on this in that plant that looks like a person that wants to be your friend.

Oh, you know, you have to head out as if they get a shake, your head or something. Yeah. They look like your friend Dave. Yeah, we have talked about this, haven't we? But they weren't actually hunting you to kill you, were they? They were just going to put some pollen on you. That's true, yeah. To reproduce.

So, but they're... This is a totally different thing. Yeah, but also, whatever is dangling from the anglerfish has to be enough, because what advantage the anglerfish has under the ocean is that I think you can't see it. It's face. Right. Like, so we do see it's face. Yeah.

And we're like, why would you go near that? Yeah, unless there's something really good. Yeah. You know, so if they had unless there's something really good. Yeah. So if they had the keys to a Ferrari. Oh, everybody loves that. I mean, think about it, if you could grab those key, if it actually had the keys to a Ferrari, not just something that looked like the keys to a Ferrari.

This would be what I would do. I would just be somebody handing out Canapace. Yeah. I think that's perfect because so often, right, you barely even look at the waiter. You're just so focused on the canopies. Right? They draw your eye and you go to that and you grab that. But then you're within arms or each of the waiter who you haven't looked at too closely. Yeah.

I think if you're in a public place and somebody has canopies, it's suspicious. You think? Yeah. I think the canopies would override my and let's say had some brand. Critical fact on the. Some branding on them.

Handing out little free samples. Free samples. You know, well, wherever now. Like a new type of musely bar or like. Yeah, something like that. Or like some, or like a chocolate mousse. You know, I would never buy this, but I will have three. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm going to take three. I'm going to stuff them into my face. And then, do you still see their big gross angler face? No, I don't think you do. You're so focused on the... Oh, but they still have one. A big gross angler face. Yeah, I think so.

But you wouldn't want to say anything so they didn't offend them. Exactly, because you can't say anything these days. Well, I mean, you just don't want to hurt somebody's feelings as you find out from a... Yeah, that's why you can't say anything these days. But because you don't want to hurt people's feelings. These days.

Because you want to try to be nice. These days. These days. Not like back in the day when you could just be mean. You want to be mean. You get into like real freak show territory and that sort of thing. Yeah. But we're ready about John Merrick the elephant man today. Yeah. What about him? No, we know, went in freak shows. Oh, did he? Yeah. I thought he was a rich guy in that movie. The elephant man. Yeah. I haven't seen the movie. I don't think he was a rich man.

Oh, I just think he was a very struggling, difficult life he had. Oh, right. I just, I've never seen the movie, but I just I just assumed he was rich. I just, yeah, I was like, why is everybody know his name? First name the, like a name elephant man. His mom was elephant his father. I thought it was a real rags to. That's mom, that's elephant, his father. I thought it was a real rags to riches tile. Yeah, but like, you know, I knew he had a face problem. No, he meant there wasn't a problem. Opportunity.

Is a, is an angle of fish. Oh, John Merrick, I have to say, your facial condition, bone deformity and excess skin present you with so many opportunities. I've never seen a patient with more opportunities. John Merrick, though, the world's most opportunity-ridden man, opportunity-ridden, plagued, he was. Absolutely. And so I just assumed that he was very well to do. And that's why I thought, I thought in the snippets of the movie I saw, he was at like a very fancy dinner party, but he was wearing like a blanket over his possible they would have brought him along to sort of laugh at him or something like that

But also later in his life he did meet some people who were kind to him and he lived at a hospital And there was a doctor who looked after him and we met some quite famous people would come and meet him and talk to him but Such a shame. He was never that it was never what you would have called rich. That's not what people think of adjectives to describe the element man. Rich is almost never one of them. Yeah, right. I mean, yeah, what a shame.

Yeah. It's like that guy who lived with, you know, who was raised by wolves and what it for a while. Re-w-w-w-'s actually quite sad that he no longer does, because he said he was living in the forest with them, because he was abandoned in this like a seven-year-old or whatever, and then was living with these wolves in the forest for a long time, and he would... Anyway, and then he says, all the animals would communicate to a certain extent with him. Like they would not like,

Hey, how you doing? That's a good thing. But you'd be in on the whole, like there's a predator kind of coming kind of sounds and they would get a look at you and kind of like, come with us. Come this way, come on. We're waiting for you, that kind of stuff.

And then he says when he goes back these days, that he doesn't get a look in. Right. But does he know that in some ways, I mean, humans also communicate with each other. Yeah, but he says all he gets here is people who are interested in him for a story. But then he's had a lot of bunch of people

who've just tried to scam him and things like that and and so he just kind of drinks a lot and doesn't you know have a real good time but we always reminisce about the old times that's the close I mean that's just too close around I used to live with wool I mean we all glad glamorize our. I'm sure it wasn't that good. I mean, I'm sure there were some downsides to living with wolves. I mean, you know, but still all the animals accepting you, it feels like that would be

a rejection once you lose that. Yeah, that's true. Probably because of you smell. It doesn't smell right. I guess that would be part of it. Also, just recognition, because you imagine a certain area, you know, like when you work at a supermarket or something like that, you just kind of start seeing all the same faces over.

And then suddenly you're like, oh, there's that guy and he's just this local guy and he's nice. He's fine. And then so then people will be like, hey, by the way, as a predator in the area, some outsider. Yeah, that's what you do when you're working a supermarket. That goes a predator. Look out for him. Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. Is there anything in this angle of fish you look like a person getting a cat orace or free samples. Right? Sure. Or is it too much like other things that we've come up with before?

Right. Let's just write it down. Great. Great. Actually, now I'm thinking about, we did have a sketch of what age is a long time before that about like a kind of a sexual predator who tries to get adults into their van and what's the equivalent of giving lollies to children. What are they offer you? They offer you things that adults really want. Like acceptance, or something.

Except for a really convincing reason why all of your failures are someone else's fault. So, not that. Videos about things clicking together. But this feels somewhat different. I think... I think this could even be a... This could just be a visual gag. You don't even need anything talking. Yeah.

You put that angular fish in a big red shirt with some branding on there. And we did this with the GFX. Do you think this is graphic effect? Oh no. Stop motion. No, no, you're making that angler a mask. Oh, you're making a, yeah, right. Yeah, love it.

Maybe some, some fins for the arms, like some fin coverings for your arms and like sort of a, a big tail. Like, you know, just some like fin looking shoes, eventually for the- Right. Do you think that like people are going past and are going past and then somebody's reaching out for the thing and then their wife is like, no, no, no, that's an angler fish. Right, and they have to pull them away. And they're like, oh, yeah.

Right. You know, kids are going for it or whatever. Like, I mean, yeah, maybe the husband is going for it. Yeah. And then the wife points to the hat and he goes, oh, like that. He doesn't see it because he gets attracted by the free samples. What would they be for you, the free samples? Mean chocolate moose. Chocolate moose is pretty good. I mean, but I'm picturing it's

they're out there by fed square in my mind. You know, quite a hot day. I don't know about the hot chocolate moose on that tray, whether I'd be going for the chocolate moose. Yeah, but they're, you know, this is it. They've only got one thing. It be going for the chocolate mousse. Yeah, but they... This is it. They've only got one thing. It's a room temperature chocolate mousse. Oh my god. That's a lovely cracked divide. It's a chocolate mousse that's hot at temperature.

They genetically engineered it to be hot at room temperature. They must be able to make things that taste hot, even though they aren't. Like, can't they get, you know, I'm talking about chili, I'm not talking about spice, right? But it's a little thing, a little vial of just heat, flavour. But it's room temperature. It's room temperature, sure. But you can squirt it onto any food and it just tastes hot.

Yeah. It is, not chili. And it's not food and it just tastes hot. Yeah. Right? It is not chilly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not taste, it feels hot. Well, that's just a taste, though, I reckon. And it is hot. Yeah. But it's room temperature.

That's right. Yeah. Maybe it's something that could bring your core temperature down. All right. I'll look, I'm willing to investigate all options. Even if it's like one degree, you know, because you know how there's like, isn't there like a deadly amount of degrees if your body drops?

Absolutely. It's like two or something like that, right? Yeah, yeah. So, take it down one point. Take it down one point. You're gonna feel very cold. Yeah, and the, what you're eating is gonna feel very hot at room temperature.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the secret was we actually cooled the body. And now we're doing it. And also you keep the room at 32 degrees. Of course. Can we have, do we have some words from listener? We do. In fact, I know we do.

It's a bit more complicated than that. And nothing's ever simple these days. No. This one comes from Friend of the podcast. Yeah. Former guest. Brian Kalella. Brian. Thank you so much for everything you do for us. But I want to clarify that these words are not from Brian. They're via Brian. They're via Brian, who also happens to run the Two-in-the-Think Tank Quotes Twitter. Correct.

And so it's one of my favorite Twitter's. Well, I mean, it makes you feel like you're doing something that people would want to quote things. I don't know if this episode's gonna have any, any picking. That's true. But maybe I'm saying that just to try and stimulate getting one. Yeah. You know, any, any picking. But maybe I'm saying just to try and stimulate getting one, you know, make them look sad,

let make them look extra hard to find something. And so the three words come from people that he asked for suggestions from, and I don't know if it clarified who it was. So he just got through it. Yeah, I think it's listeners of the show have given individual words to Brian. He's collated the words into a three word package.

He's sent it to us. That's right. I hope that makes sense. So the three words are motor, Yes. Pool. Uh-huh. Party.

Very good. Motor pool party. See, a lot of the time when people send you words, even unconsciously, I like either they're fucking with us, which they don't do so much anymore. Sometimes they do. But sometimes they do. But also you sort of sometimes get the feeling like they had a sort of, they had an idea in their head, like they were thinking of something when they sent

the words and they're like, I wonder if they'll do this thing. But with these ones, because we know that all the words came from different people, there's no way that could be the case. But they've got truly random words. Right. But you think that already you feel like there's meaning on that? Motorpool party? I mean, you can picture a pool party.

Yeah. You know, and you can picture a motor party or a motor pool, you know, a pool. How do you picture a motor pool? Well, it's not like a pool that you can drive around. Yeah, okay. That's interesting. Is that a thing? Is that the opposite of a boat?

Well, so the thing about it's like go carts. It's like go carts but instead of like or like bumper cars. Yes, but instead like the waters inside the car. Yeah, instead of what in the bobbocats. I was basically confused because I was trying to say it's the opposite of a boat. Right. Right. And so it's like bumper boats. Yeah. But the water is inside the boat. Yes.

And then you're also driving around on the ground. And you're just sort of loose in the pool there. You're sort of driving. I think you're driving. So there's a pedal that allows you to drive. A pedal? Like a pedal and a steering wheel. Okay, like in a car. Yeah, like in a car.

But there's no seat or seat belt. And so when you collide with things, you start swishing around and smashing into that steering wheel. All right, I think it would be hard to put the pressure down on the pedal, right? Because like when you're sitting, because you're floating, right, it's gonna be interesting being able to put the pressure down on the pedal, right? Because like when you're sitting, because you're floating, right? It's gonna be, that's gonna be interesting being able to apply the pressure.

You might even have to like be sort of swimming down somehow or pull yourself down using the steering wheel to be able to put the pressure on the pedal to go. But there's gonna be a huge amount of weight behind all this water, right? And so there'll be a huge amount of momentum. Now when you crash, all that water is going to keep moving. You're going to get sloshed straight out of the car.

You crash head on with someone else. You're going to slosh up into the air. If you're lucky, you won't smash into them. But you'll slosh up and out into their car. And they'll slosh up and out into your car. And that's quite interesting. It is pretty interesting dynamic. But what do you picture the edges being made of? Just like a pool.

Yeah, but like what kind of pool? Maybe inflatable, like rubber or something like that. Yeah, like I picture like that kind of inflatable, like rubber. Yeah. Like a kind of like one of those zodiac boats like a rubber dingy or something like that or or maybe just one of those back yard pools. But you can see the way that it's like when it's full it really kind of has a deformation. Yeah, bulges, right?

Yeah, really bulges like that. And so then when you're driving it, when you bump into each other it's like two, it's like two water balloons bouncing against each other. So there's going to be a bit of pushback as well. Yeah. But you might tip over on top of them and then your pull car. I don't think you'll tip over. No. Because so much of the weight of the car is in the water which is loose, it's not going to tip like that. I don't think. That's my instinct.

Yeah, yeah. Depends on how fast how fast you go. It always does. And where would you have this kind of party? Where would you have it? If you want to know where I'm picturing, I'm picturing the entrance to the Burnley tunnel. Now I don't think that's a great place to have it, but that's where I'd be picturing in my mind. Yeah. I think I've been picturing somebody's backyard near a pool. Yeah, okay. But I also think that maybe it just starts here. You know, it starts here. It just starts like a bunch of friends that had a bunch of sort of miniature inflatable pools.

They had a bunch of sort of go-cart bases. Yeah. And then, you know, and some rigging equipment for, you know, making it all work. Mm-hmm. And then, but then it kind of like, they found that like a military application for it or something. Oh, no.

After the success of it. Yeah. Because you think if you were shooting at somebody and one of those, because like, when you get shot and you're inside a regular car, Yeah. The bullet just flies through the air after it goes through the panel.

Right. But when you're in the water water that water really slows down the bullet So when it hits you it hurts less or kills you He was only partially killed he was only yeah killed from the waist down They killed my legs Killed from the way stop. The legs are still alive. Dead from the way stop.

Right? The legs are still alive. Yeah. What about? How long do I can I keep those legs alive? Dead from the way stop and the neck down. Right. Just go to dead torso.

Oh no. It sounds like the name of of a Rambo movie. Rambo, dead torso. I think that's really interesting. What can Rambo do when he can't use his arms? He's just got his head and his legs. Yeah. And then just like the arms are just flapping there,

like sex and like tubes of meat. Yeah, and he's had to hawk up his lungs and heart into his mouth. It is, and he just squeezes them by chewing, biting down on them. My dad keeps the blood and the air flowing. So if a sister alone does look at you, like he's got a big mouth like he could do that.

Yeah, keeps that, keeps those pumping. I don't think, I don't think you need a lot in there, you know. You like, you probably wouldn't need both lungs, right? You just need one lung. You just need the, I don't think you could keep going for a while. Yeah, absolutely. Like giving yourself CPR, but with your mouth. With your own mouth.

With your own mouth. Oh, do you think you could hark up your own heart. Again, I feel like Celesta Stallone could do that. It's been way too much body noise on me. I know, but how is it? I think if you tried for a long time, I think you could learn how to just move your heart up with just a little bit, with just breathing, right? Yeah.

I think I figured it out. I was watching you there. I was like, I feel like that's getting higher. Oh, so wait, what are we writing down here? I look, to be honest, the thing that's made me laugh the most is Rambo with a dead dead torso. Rambo. Dead torso. There's a new one right? I think so. Does Rambo have a surname or is that his surname? Is it like Rocky? Rocky Rambo. Now like Rocky, that's his first name.

Yeah. Because Rambo is first name. It's got to be his surname. Well he wouldn't make two movies with the guy's first name. Because it's Rocky Balboa. Hmm. No. Unless it's Rambo Balboa.

Rambo Balboa. Rambo Balboa. Rambo Balboa. Oh God. How do you feel about this episode, Alistair? Not too bad. I feel like I've been laughing way too much. Look, I don't remember how much fun we've had Andy. Yeah, that's OK. I remember at the beginning I was like, oh, maybe we should quit.

No, I'll let you. No, no, it's okay. And then we had a bunch of fun in the middle there. I hope so. Yeah. So here, let's go. Through the sketches, it's a phone that can slap you. Yes. Very good.

And imagine if Twitter didn't let you on unless you had a phone that can slap you. Well, it's good. Right? So that there can be some real world repercussions for the things that you're tweeting. Yeah. But also, how about this? That hand doesn't have to just slap. It can caress. That's right.

We're missing out on that human touch, because it's spending so much time in our phones. You can now get it from our phones. Imagine that instead of holding your phone by holding it on the back like that and putting your pinky underneath to keep holding it up You just hold the hand like you're shaking a hand Yeah, and then you touch it with the other hand Here's your other finger and you still got that human contact at all times. You feel that yeah, yeah

Now that's starting to sound familiar as well like we've come up with that idea before Just like a hand that you can just hold yeah, I don't think have, but I like that idea. It's a warm hand. Oh, yeah. And it's warm at room temperature. At room temperature, that's the great thing about it. Right. And you just, you know, maybe you could even have it in your pocket, right?

You're feeling lonely. You put your hand into your pocket. There's another hand. There's another hand in there for you to hold. I mean, if you had a hand on your leg, you never alone when you got a hand to hold. Yeah, that's true. But it's not a sixth thing.

No, of course not. Disgusting. It was really gross that you said that. A slap in the face is the word of the year, maybe with Websters dictionary or Maryam Webster. Oh, McCory. Oh, McCory. McCory. All right, McCory. You like that?. Oh, McCory. Oh, McCory. McCory.

All right, McCory. You like that? All right, McCory. You like saying that? Yeah, no. I'm okay with that. Is it cool in this middle that you like saying? McCory.

McCory. McCory. We got a boy band that act and look hungry at all times to attract Italian honors. Yeah. So there, it's a band's been put together act and look hungry at all times to attract Italian non-us. So it's a band's been put together to cater to the aging Italian female market. And all the songs are about,

instead of like, we were actually really well fed at the time, but our managers insisted that we appear hungry. Yeah. And then it's like all the songs. They're constantly salivating. Instead of like all the songs being about some generic young lady, they're all about like, no, no, you are so caring. That kind of

thing. But make a thing for me. That's not good. I don't like that. Anyway, make a thing for me. Yeah, well, my play is empty or something like that. Yeah. My tummy is rumbled. For you. My tummy rumbles for you. A boy band that does parody songs

and says it behind the music about their huge success. I think I displaced my heart when I was trying to suck it up until my throat dropped. It's really like. This is what we do for the podcast. Our body's on the line. If we go out damn weak. Then we have a dog invasion.

It's the ship of dogs. And then we put all the dogs that we have into intern camps. Intern camps. You know, they have to work for no money got to get your coffee internment camps and then the dogs shoot a missile at us but then they'll jump off and chase it and pick them off while they're in the water that's a happy ending well for the humans I mean you didn't get murdered by dogs like except for the people got hit by the missile.

Yeah. And think about the dog explosives that were in there. We don't know what was in there. Could have been just a Trojan missile of dogs. In the missile? Well, maybe. Why are they getting out of that? Well, they're getting some of their kind on our land.

Doesn't feel like a good use to their resources. Well, maybe it getting some of their kind on our land. Doesn't feel like a good use to their resources. Well, maybe it gets up there. It's more of like a space rocket kind of thing. Okay. They launch it so it's that kind of size. So there's lots, it could just be filled with chihuahua. That's good. And as it goes over.

It's the advantage that we don't have. So many different sizes of dogs. That's right. And then as it flies over the city it's just dropping them out they're all parachuting in dropping a payload yeah yeah and then then they're everywhere um-hmm dogs that can talk that want it they can talk that well I think do I thought they could talk earlier I don't Anyway, then we got an angler fish with free samples to attract people in the CBD, and then Rambo dead torso

has heart and lungs. And we talked for so long about that dumb thing in mind about hollowing out Australia. I didn't even get on to where we're putting the dirt. Yeah, I mean, wait, we're, what's, I mean, we can write it down and just forget what it was. It's not an idea. Okay. There was nothing there. Yeah, except for that reaching through the sand. Yeah, that was something I felt. Obviously wrong. Whip, whip, whip, whip, it if you could listen to Alan Stey's podcast, Shusha.

Shusha got it, meditations, you don't have to, but it's a great way to relax and find something maybe funny. Damn straight. Yeah, and there are some sleep episodes that are longer, often like over 25 minutes, I think. And there's one that's an hour that's Alistair lists everything.

It's just me going, port of bodies, you know, and there's one that's an hour that's a list of lists, everything. It's just me going, port of, port of bodies, eating chicken out of someone else's hand, tucking in a dog. Yeah. Potion removal. And so on. That's, it's, it's, it's very good. Yeah, it's something, it's something anyway. It's very good. And what's that?

And I'm just going to say and you can find us on Twitter at two in tank and I'll I'll list your TV. I'm at stupid old Andy. You can just put us on Patreon if you want. You go to the $8 tier get yourself the overflow tank. You can get yourself the news, new set of bonus episodes that we're doing, which is sci-Fi Try Guys, where every month we're writing two new science fiction stories, really excited to be writing my new science fiction story for the next episode. He really is. Yeah, I've been telling Alistair about it. I shouldn't tell you anything though, he should keep it secret, so I'm more motivated. But it's where we write a story and then we come up with another idea for a story. Another story. And then we read them out.

And then we read them out during the thing. So it's like a short audio book. Yeah. In a way. Anyway, last week was the first time that we had stories. And then next week is, I mean, next month is going to, or this month is going to be the second time. That's right.

That all makes sense. That's perfectly expressed. And we might also be doing some sketch some actual sketches some recorded actual sketch sketches That's right. We're I mean look we discussed it earlier. We were we've been enjoying making the stuff so much and even though it takes And a lot of time out of our lives that we don't have that much time in We we are definitely heading towards wanting to start actually producing actual audio sketches. And so we're thinking we're going to do it in the bonus episode.

So if anybody has any, wants to send us some suggestions for sketches from sketch ideas that they would really like to see made real into an audio sketch. Into an audio sketch. We may start doing that soon. Yes. We'll keep you updated. Yeah. I'm just so free to be in contact.

Yeah. And we pay 300.com for it's last to intangue. Yeah. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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