Two In The Think Tank - 187 - "ORIGINAL TROUBLE MAKER"

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

Safe Spazi, Smell Foley, Total Die Out, Drug Dealer Accountability, Chicken Sexer, OTMHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereLocal, organic thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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this podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, This is the show where we come up with five sketch ideas and it's not daily and it's not every day It's once a week when we first started it was twice a week But we had nothing going on in our lives Absolutely nothing and we could still barely do it Well, we couldn't we stopped we stopped when we still had nothing going on in our lives Yeah, and then we took a break of several years where we had nothing going on in our life

Andy was living off of tax returns. That's how he was living for a while. Yeah, and also $8,000 of credit card debt. Oh, that's how you were living. Yeah, that was part of it. That was a big part of it. And then I believe another part of it was buying an acoustic foam from China and then on selling that.

Not enough to make a profit, but enough to sort of move money around in such a way that it seemed like I had money coming in. Well, that's what an economy is. So you had an economy happening. You had a healthy economy. And one man economy. Yeah. And that's good.

I got a whole economy over here. Exactly. But I'm doing terribly financially. But economically. Home economics. Yeah, right. Home macroeconomics. Okay. This is large scale financial policy. Yeah. And how it impacts on your ability to cook scones or or. Okay, right. No, or, okay, right.

That's nothing. No, no, look, it's fine. I thought I was just picturing something where how you can affect the economy on the grand scale from your own home. From your bedroom. Yeah. Right.

Topical governments from your bedroom, oh, that's basically what people can do now, isn't it? Well, you can hack in. You can hack in. You can, you can false news, fake, hack in, you can false news, fake news. You can fake news? False news, this is new. Oh, yeah, it sort of feels more proper.

It does, doesn't it? Like, this is what they'd have in England. Well, false news. So it's not completely made up. It's based on reality, but there's some of the fact are a little bit skew-if. I don't think you know what false means. Okay.

No, but like fake, I don't know, fake news feels like it's gonna be, false news could be like, you know, let's say the Limburg baby was attacked by a dog. Okay. So it still disappeared and it was still dead. Right. Whereas fake news would be... Would be, you know...

The Linber Baby is above. Is attacking England. Yeah. And his anti-patriots. Patriots. I mean, we've got to be able to harness them for some sort of thing. I saw a picture recently that was taken in a gay pride rally in the States and there were 10 Nazis there.

10 Nazis? Yeah. Right. And I just want to make sure we're there, almost actual Nazis. Right. Yeah. Right. But I just want to make sure we're there homosexual Nazis. No, they were not. They were not there under the legitimate guise of Pride Week. Yeah, right.

Right. They were there in their official capacity as Nazis. Well, okay. Not in their personal capacity as Proud Gay men. Okay. Right. And they were marching and they were being protected by police right, which is like

It's hard to get your head around but all right. Yeah, okay? Because of the second amendment or something like that not the second amendment one of the ones freedom of association right okay Anyway, yeah, there were also photographs of them urinating on both a gay flag, rainbow flag, and a Jewish flag. And were the cops down there trying to catch the urine in their mouth? No, the cops didn't feature in that picture, but that's something that they did while they were there. Okay. Right. But the guy who was doing the urinating, he was sort of doing it

huddled against a tree with the flag on the ground between him and the tree but hiding himself. And I just don't, it doesn't feel appropriate, that in your Nazi pride, you should be hiding your penis. Sure. I mean, like, you're so proud of something that is horrible. Yes. If there's anything horrible about your penis. Surely. Surely you should be okay with showing it. Surely, if Nazism offers you anything, it's confidence with your own penis.

Your own own penis. You're on the white penis. Exactly. Like why are you hiding your white penis if you're so superior? Exactly. Right? And that was one of the many things that I saw to be wrong with this scenario. What do we clear that wasn't the only thing that paid by concern?

Yeah. Right. I had a number of complaints. But that was one of the... From other people? No, no, no. No, from within myself. Great.

Right. And while I do contain multitudes, no. These were just my regular standard personality style conflicts with what was happening there. No, these were just, these were just my regular standard personality style conflicts with what was happening there. Then this was one that I saw was a little bit quirky. And that's what might be worthy of bringing up on the podcast, right? I'm a Nazi, but I'm embarrassed. Yeah. You're giving the Nazi salute, but you're embarrassed to do a wee. That's right. And the Nazi salute is very much like a... It's like an arm erection, isn't it?

It's an arm erection. The rest of us are constantly go through life. Makes it seem like our arms are flattered. Well, at most, a semi. Right? That's right. When we're writing, our arms are, you most, semi. Right? That's right. When we're writing, our arms are, you know, anyway, but I was wondering, Andy, and is there a sketch in this?

I don't know. Well, you'd like there to be. I mean, look, I don't know if that's why we're here. I'd do, they'd be a sketch in everything. Do you think there's a sketch in everything? Yeah. And if you're looking to it for long enough, you don't know if that's why we're here. I do think they'd be a sketchy and everything. Do you think this is a sketchy and everything? Yeah. I feel like you're looking to it for long enough. You don't even have to look into it for that long.

Not that long. I think that's the fact that this podcast has worked as much as it has. And I'm not saying it's that much. Yes, but to the extent that it has worked. Yeah. Whatever that may be. Yeah, I mean we have succeeded in writing down five things every episode. Yes.

At least. At least. So, is there a thing to write down within this Nazi sketch? Well, I mean, sorry. No, well, I mean, here are some angles. Yeah. Right? Nazi therapy.

Right? It's a Nazi who goes to see his therapist and the therapist may or may not also be a Nazi right and and what's it like to open yourself up and share all your feelings With someone else who is clearly such a broken person Right, but within the context the context of all your traditional therapy type things, cliches. Yeah. And then some sort of group therapy in which a bunch of people are there

or with their own insecurities. And it's a safe space where anyone can talk about anything they want. They're not all Nazis, there's only one Nazi. Other people are talking about their problems that they have and then the Nazi has to talk about his which is that when he tries to urinate on flags at Nazi pride rallies, he gets embarrassed about doing a wee. And then everyone tries to listen and be supportive to this. But yeah, but his thing seems so hateful.

Right, it really does push the boundaries of safe space. The very limits of what would be considered a safe space. Yeah, I think I think this safe space with an arty. Yeah, because he's in the space and he's taking full advantage of the safety of the space and he's being being quite open and honest and vulnerable about it and it's obviously something that's causing him a lot of pain as well on his own in his own on his own terms. Yeah, but yeah, I think how everyone else around that group. And probably what he

considers considers in his own turf. You know, because he probably thinks that whatever country he lives in should just be like a Nazi people. Yeah. Yeah. And that would that would make it even harder for you. You could you could see how that would be really difficult. I don't even feel at home comfortable enough. And this is my land by right, by birthright. And you imagine how I feel then that I'm not even, you know, it's just really hard. And all the people that I think would be looking at my penis are I consider a below me.

Right. So why should I care what they think? Yeah, I don't even really think of them as human. And my fellow Nazis, obviously I share a blood bond with. And I know they support me. Yeah, no matter what. So why am I so insecure? Despite all this knowledge of all this stuff,

that I am certain it is, and it makes me wonder, am I doubtful in my own superiority? Yeah, wow, what a way to have a break for it. You know, do I deep down think that maybe I, I and our people aren't superior? And then the real challenge there for the group is so they help to heal this man in the full knowledge that that then might make him a fully functional Nazi.

And cure his doubts. And then he walks out and they're all applauding. And he's like, it goes out and- You're a dates on a flag. Would you like to try? You're in eating on a flag here today? In front of all of us. That's how safe this space is I mean there's a lot of the people that you've mentioned here today that are here.

And there's a lot of this meeting. Is this satire? I think this might be satire. Is it? I don't know what it's satirizing, maybe Nazis, but also maybe support groups. Yeah, well, maybe same spaces. I think it's okay to do all those, I think. Hope. Hmm, I mean, what about dragons?

Yeah. I think like the, you know, is there a sketch in them? Hmm. Well, how about this? Hmm. This is my problem with dragons. Is somebody's looked at reptiles. Yeah. You know, is there a sketch in them? Hmm. Well, how about this? This is my problem with dragons. Somebody's looked at reptiles.

Yeah. And most of the vast majority of your lizards are pretty sedentary. That's true. Like nobody's looking at lizards and being like, oh, these have got the potential to be sort of magical winged beasts flying through the sky. And dispensing fire and collecting gold. They're just, there's no hope. But you know why?

Why? Well, because most of them don't have fire in their belly. And so their cold blood is affected, you know, affects their amount to move. But this one, you know, the dragon is a blazer, you know? Right, with some kind of internal combustion engine. Yeah, and so while still being cold-blooded, they've got fire somewhere inside their body. I don't know if there's an eternal flame that burns inside them. They at least have to be a pilot light, I think, something so that when they're dispensed

the gas or whatever, there's always that spark that they get. What's that pressure thing? Can you ignite gas using pressure alone? I don't know. Is that thing they do in engines? I know about, maybe with diesel. Yeah, diesel. Right, pressure ignition.

This checks out. So maybe they're filled, you know, they've got diesel running through their blood or something like that. Diesel. Would be great if we could prove That dragons run on diesel Well, because you never get the smell of you know You would know straight away if you got the smell of breath. We'd be able to tell yeah, yeah

But you never get that from I mean this is this is this is a real existential question for like those you know those five D 60 cinemas where they include things like like smell and seat rumbles and somebody runs around under the chairs and pinches your legs. The sixth D. It is an existential for question for them and really they're on the front line of defining. This is the thing about 60 sort of, you know, people think that we're just, you know, a bunch of loodies and our neighbors, they've run around under the chasers, pitch people's leaks, but we're making creative decisions here, you

know, we're very, it's a very vital, very creative art for, you know, you know, or who knows what a ball beast from the planet Xanth are. Actually, smells like what will we do? It smells like two squirts of chrysanthemum oil at eight squirts of, of trouser sweat, okay? Yes, I understand. That's these, and this is something that's come from within the sixth-thesaw cinema, cinema, creative zeitgeist.

You know, I'm sorry. And that's canon now, that's canon. That was signed off on by the people from LucasArts. Yeah, it's smellfot, foley. Yes. You know, it's actually, you know, the smells of punching from bashing a cabbage. Yeah, and we actually had a lot of success. We have released a series of tie-in

Oda Reels that went with the original Star Wars movies and that means that fans of Star Wars are actually able to buy the Oda Reel and that spools across a special device we've made that fits under the nose and basically they can smell along with the film. Well how it works, it basically looks exactly like a cinema film, except the film itself is just a little bit thicker, it has a little brush on it, you know, just a little, just a little bit of rice, the area, bristle. And on different parts of the bristle we've just put different products that have different smells and so and it brushes under your nose

Yeah, and so and some of that powder up into your nose and you breathe that in and you can see what any any bit smells like at any toll Yeah, a lot of a lot of True fans of the of the film. They've actually they've you know because smell is such a powerful Sent but it's such a powerful ability to trigger emotion, a lot of people don't even need to watch the film anymore, or even listen to the audio. They'll just play back that smell tape, and for them, that's Star Wars.

Well, that's right, it's like a series of odors. You know, some people listen to things to go to sleep. I smell things to go to sleep. You know I'd I play that to myself. You know I'll go to sleep on the night and I've just got that brush running under my nose. No, the tickling there or the sick. Nothing I find says we off. There's soons and we're more, there's more undrift away that there's something tickling my septum. This, with the smell of space war. You know, everyone knows what a lightsaber sounds like. If they're chewing, chewing, sort of sound, they got that from hitting a wire fence.

That's right. But only the real fans know what a lightsaber smells like. As it goes through the body of a storm trooper, like that burning the flesh, fish smells, we chose barbecue. It's barbecue. It's barbecue. It's for your standard barbecue. Just Texas barbecue. You know, we've put a bit of barbecue sauce in there. That's a bit of creative license. Then we've added to it. So that's an odd to the fan, you know?

It's a nod. I don't know because what is Georgia Lucas' favorite flavor of chips? Barbecue. No, it's actually it's plain. Yes, but you know, it doesn't have a strong, it's second favorite is barbecue. Second favorite, yes. But you know, much like a lot of Japanese anime will have fan service.

You know, moments where characters will show their underwear from under this skirt, things like that, in the anime. Because that's what fans ultimately want of anything. I think that's what it's cool. You watch the third Godfather film. You know, every second frame, you're catching a glimpse of one of the Marfiosa's underwear. Exactly.

You know, Francis Ford Coppola, he only came back to that film to do the, do the, do the, get the money. And you know, it's all just panoring. That's right. And in much that same way we added the barbecue sauce to the barbecue meat just so that there was a little something, little something for daddy. Yes and daddy is one of the fans. Yeah, he's my father. He's and he loves his barbecue. And very often I get him to say,

John, I am your father. Yes, and my name is John. Yeah. Or at least sometimes I pretend that it is John. It is. Yes. But it also is. John.

John. You can pretend things that are real, Alistair. Yeah. You can pretend things that are real, Alistair. Yeah. You can pretend to be. Absolutely. I know. Just because something's real doesn't mean you're not pretending it as well. Yeah.

I feel like that way about a lot of my career, you know, I'm sort of pretending to be a television writer. And I also happen to be paid to write for television, but I am pretending. Well, of course, Andy, I know that you're pretending. Yes. I can tell in the way that you write. He said pretendingly, I write it the end of every. Every, every, at the end of every day, I send an email to myself that says, he said pretendingly so that I know that the whole day's worth was just pretend.

But does that suggest that you write your writing a script of what you did? Or? That's what that suggests, yes, I must say. But how would that work? That would mean that you're also, like I guess in that means that you're also pretending that you're reading the script of the day.

Yeah, that's it. So you actually didn't do the day, you were just reading it as if it was something. That's right, yes. So you're gonna do it officially. You're gonna do it really pretending to be a writer, I'm pretending to be a reader, really. Ha ha ha ha ha? I think I mean I think you're actually writing and you're pretending to be a reader. He said pretendingly. This was not built to be to withstand

this level of scrutiny, Alistair. And yet I brought it here before the scrutiny is. Yeah. Well, we've got two ideas so far. But what ideas? What ideas they have been. Yeah. Taken to some really dark places. Speaking of dark places. Yes. Have you ever been into a room with no light? I thought you were going to say, okay, I remember going down a mine, an online shaft on a school camp. It took us down some mine shafts. I can't have been all that deep, but it was definitely deep enough for the big pay off. They haven't really, is where they get all the kids to turn off their torches.

And then they leave. I go up the thing there. They cut the ladder. The top. The rope ladder. Clanging down. And then you just hear the laughter disappearing. And then you say hello. Hello. And then it say, hello, hello,

and then it turns out the whole class has gone. It's just you down there. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I think that's what happened to those tie kids in the... Yeah, you're thinking there's a locker. That's a tie soccer team. They were like, ha, ha, ha, and then they...

Is that actually what tie soccer is? Is it C cave? Is that... Everyone referred to them as a Thai soccer team, but maybe they weren't a soccer team from Thailand. Maybe they were playing the sort of Thai soccer. And basically what it is, is the boys are the ball, right? You play with 13 balls, right? And the And there's no field. There's just a goal. The goal is survival. Well, the goal is just a cave. The cave is the goal. But you got to keep, you got to get deep enough into

the into the goal. Well, the person who goes deepest into the goal is the person who wins. There's only one team, right? And and just being trapped in there there does that play into the sport at all. Yeah, feels like you're losing You're right, okay, because you got to make it out alive So it's not enough to go in there a really long way. You have to survive you have to survive you have to get out Yeah, I think that's kind I know that they don't write that in the rules of most sport, but I think that Technically in any sport. if you die, you lose. That's definitely the case in boxing, right? Yeah.

That's probably the only one where that's explicitly written down. I don't know if they write it down. Maybe horse racing. Yeah, look, I think, look, it's almost, it feels difficult to win. I mean, I think in boxing, I don't know, I was going to say in boxing, you think, it's almost, it feels difficult to win. I mean, I think in boxing, I know, I was going to say in boxing, maybe you could still win on points, but I think that's considered a knockout. I think that, I think death is considered a knockout. Yeah, I think if you just don't get up and so on. Maybe a horse could die and fall across

the finish line. Yeah. You know, do you think then they'd go to the photo finish and see if they could see the light leaving its eyes? Yeah, I said I don't know whether they could ever prove that it didn't, it wasn't alive before the thing. And hence, you would have to let it just win. Oh. What a shame. I mean, would you want to be the guy who's trying to argue

that technically it didn't survive the length of things. I don't know. I mean, who would hate you there? Right? Maybe the person who was riding the horse? Or do you think they're dead as well? Well, we'd have to go to the photo really to be able to tell. Yeah. I think you'd lose a bit of yourself It's not not only that you can't you can't die during the sport you can't even lose a bit of yourself Really you can't even die a little in wait wait should I write down before should I write down if you die in a game You died in real life? Wait, no, you'll lose. I mean, I mean, if you die.

Do you think that's a sketch? How's that a sketch? Just, just, just tell me. Well, it's just like are we going through historical examples of what happened? Well, it's like a sports documentary. That's explaining the one rule that's not actually written down.

Right. Well, I mean, I mean, and then it goes through examples of scenarios in which people died, but still won. So everyone's happy. That's right. Or no, or, and I was gonna say no, no, the game,

I think the sketch was supposed to be a person when if you die in the sport you lose. Yes. Oh, but then we can't have examples of people who died and then still won, well, we can still have examples where it's disputed. Yeah. And that why we still get to have examples.

And you know, I love examples. I guess the idea is that you, because you can't prove that they weren't dead at the time, you know, let's end the example of the horse dying and falling through the finish line. Then technically the person can't, you can't say that it lost. You know that it's dead now, and it loses any future races that it's in.

Now, here's a gray area, right? Someone dies falling across the line, right? You can tell they're dead, but later they were resuscitated. So they were dead when they crossed the line. Yeah. But they were alive again later on. Yeah. Did they win?

Or are they disqualified? We have to be alive in the game. Yeah. I mean, so maybe to reinforce this rule, they've had to put heart monitors on people. How many others on everybody? And have like, you know, you know, one of those people who dispense drugs in during surgery. I think they're the ones a lot of the time who are keeping track.

Anacetus. Anacetus. They're the ones a lot of the time keeping track of the vitals. I think everyone should have a personal anacetus at all times. Keeping track of the vitals. I think everyone should be have a personal anesthetist at all times. Keeping track of the vitals. You mean a drug dealer. It's like a drug dealer who has data on your own. There is responsibility. Yeah. Right. That's right. Because that's what's missing from the drug dealer drug user relationship. There are no consequences for the drug dealer if the drug user

dies. Yeah. Now you turn it into a, it's a profession now. It's a regulated profession. There are industry standards, there are expectations. If you want to maintain your registration as a drug, this is the future. Drug dealer responsibility. Drug dealer responsibility. Right. Regulate the drug dealers. Make them accountable. If, you know, at the end of every quarter, they've got to submit a report saying

how many of their users died. Just want to quarter. Oh, you don't want to be, you don't want to be onerous. You don't want to, you don't want to, you don't want to burden the entrepreneur with unnecessary bureaucracy, Alistair. So you're right, you're right. Okay. This is a market economy, okay?

And we need those among us who have the go getems, you know, to be able to make the most of their inner drive, and I'm looking at you, the drug dealers. So it's the same time you do your business activity statement for the GST, right? Maybe you only do it twice a year. They say there's just a question on the E tax app, whatever you have on your phone or something like that, says, and are you a drug dealer? And then if so, proceed to question eight. How many people that you deal drugs to have died this quarter?

Right. And then, you know, how are you sure you'll say, well, that's prone to rotting, they could just put in zero, right? But we have a random auditing, okay? So every two years, sure. 3% of all respondees are randomly audited, right? And so there's an incentive there for them to keep,

you know, because you never know if you're gonna be ordered, so there's an incentive there to keep your records. of course, right? You got to keep the death certificates Yeah, you know you get a copy Oh, absolutely, and I mean I think a lot of these things will be done digitally these days It'll be done digitally, you know, they'll it'll probably just be like when you walk to your drug dealers It'll just ping the tax office, you know to your drug dealers, it'll just ping the tax office. Hmm, you know. And-

Hey Dave, you're ready? Since we founded Bombas, we've always said our socks, underwear, and t-shirts are super soft. Any new ideas? Maybe sublimely soft. Or disgustingly cozy. Wait, what? I got it.

Bombas, absurdly comfortable essentials for yourself and everyone on your list. And for those facing homelessness, because one purchase equals one donated. Wow, did we just write an ad? Yes. Bombas, big comfort for everyone. Go to bombas.com slash a cast and use code a cast for 20% off your first purchase. It'll know on the maps because you've got your phone with you and things like that. It'll try and get laid. I don't know that that's where you get your drugs for. From.

And you might have a couple of drug dealers, but even if you do have a few drug dealers, if you die, I think all those drug dealers are now suspect. Sure. Sure, the tax office can't for sure say which drug dealer gave you which drug. Unless we also regulate the drugs by putting a chip in each one. Right, so there's a chip in you and there's a chip in the drug. What if we just chip every molecule? Let's just simplify things and we'll chip every molecule. Will every molecule chip, will that be made out of less than one molecule?

No, no, no. What it's made from a regular number of molecules, and those molecules are all chip-delos there. You can't trick me like that. Okay. With some less than one molecule, Maraki. Yeah, yeah, all right. Okay.

So they're all chips. They're all chips. And then the molecules are chipped. And the molecules are chipped. What about things that like only have one atom? That's chipped. Yeah. Is that considered a molecule? Yeah.

Or is it just an atom? No, an atom isn't molecule. Is it? Yes. It's not a compound molecule, but it's a molecule. Yes. Oh, I'm right. I thought of another word and it makes me seem correct.

Wait, I'm gonna look it up. Oh, you're gonna Google, is it an atom a molecule? Yeah. Audience, whether we get through this together and I turn out to be right, or if Alistair turns out to be right, I just want to feel like for this moment you're with me. So everyone, whatever you're thinking, I want you to be on my side right now and Alistair is about to reveal the answer. So you're with me,

we're all going to, we're all, we're all, we're not, we lose together now. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. An atom is just that a single atom made from protons, neutrons, and electrons. A molecule is a group of atoms bonded together via ionic, metallic, or covalent bonding. I'm so sorry, everyone. I absolutely needed.

The amount of atoms needed here is two, example, O2. I took you all down with me. I'm really sorry. Ah! Ah! Ah! Alright, it's not that joyful. I'm really embarrassed to have been associated with all the listeners who were wrong about

this. Well, I'm embarrassed. I was trying to represent their opinion. I didn't think that. I'm embarrassed that I... The thing is, it's such an empty win because I don't care about winning. I care about the battle continuing. Yeah, you should have looked it up.

Well, it doesn't matter. It's nice to win at least. Well, all right. Well, if it helps you, I still don't believe you. That's great. Is that where you want? No. Okay. Don't you want the battle to continue? Well, I wanted to continue, but I don't want it to feel empty like this. This is sad. No, this is now without what are you? Where are you going to go from here? I go into full-scale denial of reality from here. I've got a clear path forward, Alistair. My argument only gets stronger from this point in on.

Once you've forced me, you've backed me into a corner and you've forced me to deny reality. You've got no hold over me now. I'm truly free. Okay? I ask you to deny reality. Yes, because I'm truly free. Okay. I ask you to deny written it, reality. Yes, because I'm not going to back down and you've presented me with facts. Okay. So what do you want me to do? All I can do is say that your facts are wrong. Reality is inadequate.

You know, it was great. Is that I went into that thinking that the internet wasn't going to give me the answer I wanted. We all thought that out. That's what I doubled down. So hard. Well, it was easy to give the audience a win molecule. Yeah. I think compound molecule is a thing. Yeah, but it probably isn't the thing that you're talking about. No, definitely not. Probably the molecule of a compound. Ah, probably.

Anyway, so wait, what were we deepened? We were deep into... Everything is chipped. Drug dealer accountability, I think is the sketch. Right? You know, this is, you turn it into a profession, a registered, a regulated profession, like a county. Yeah, like...

I'm a CPDD. Like a chicken sex. I'm a certified practicing drug dealer. Yeah, like a chicken sexer. Like a chicken sexer. Like a chicken sexer. Like a chicken sexer. You know they have a triangle hold on the poultry industry.

I... Because they are the only ones who can decide which these little, when they're chicks, which one is male, which one is female. And so, you know, if they, if they sex them wrong, then that's all this pointless flesh that rising of these chickens that are never going to give you the eggs that you're up huge costs that's feed that's you know other things. Of course being called a being a chicken sexer they're obviously in coming regularly coming to contact with other great industry the chicken fuckers. And I imagine there's a lot of turf rivalry between the chicken sexes and the chicken fuckers. Yeah.

And I imagine there's a lot of turf rivalry between the chicken sexes and the chicken fuckers. I imagine it's like, it's like psychiatrist and psychologists. I picture. I think it's only a problem when the chicken sexers have their annual conference and then a bunch of chicken fuckers show up. They don't know any of the jargon about what they're talking about. They don't know what this little tool is that they use. You know, I think, I see this is what I would, I think, would really be at the bottom of the rivalry though. I think the chicken sexes are probably just jealous of the fact that chicken fuckers are

actually better at telling what's a male chicken and what's a female chicken because the chicken fuckers, right, they've got a real incentive. Sure, I mean to learn sort of, you know, they probably have ways of telling that the chicken sexes don't even know about. Do you think it's helped by the fact that they're using sort of more adult chickens? Well, they're not afraid to. I mean, that does help. I'm not gonna lie.

Once you get to a brochure and I had it, it's got a no-brainer. It's getting a bit, it's getting easier. But I guess it's these chicken fuckers who like really young chickens. Yeah. Oh, I mean, that's the hot pot, isn't it? who like really young chickens. Yeah. Ah! I mean, that's the hard part, isn't it? That's the hard part.

Mm. Then you kind of almost need to be... ...planting it that you're not just a chicken fighter. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a lot of chicken fuckers to get into chicken sexing. That's true. Mm. Because that's how you know.

Yeah, do what you love. You know, and it's for those people who are afraid to be, I guess, a chicken fucker, but they don't want to come across as weird. Weird, you know, or something like that. Or they just like one of those normal people who looks at chickens, genitals all day. They have internal sexual race. They have internalized homophobia. Whereas when they were growing up, there was no pressure on them to not have sex with chickens. When they were growing up,

there was no pressure on them to not have sex with chickens. You know what I mean? Like when you're growing up, no one is telling you, oh, people who have sex with chickens are bad, like that, right? So you don't develop this innate sense to hate, people who have sex with chickens.

Right. Right. But the reason why this person finds it important, this chicken fucker, finds it important to sex their young chicks. The young chickens. Yes. It's because they're worried that they're going to have sex with a chicken of the wrong gen.

Because they have their internalized homophobia. Right. Yes, no internalized chicken fucker phobia. Yeah, great. And what does that say about society? Exactly. Thank you. Yeah, I. And what does that say about society? Exactly. Thank you. Yeah, I love it.

There was satire early on in the episode, and there seems to be some satire. That's what we're talking about. We're talking a fresh satire sandwich. No. Is that a sketch in this? We can write it down. We didn't.

Yeah. No, I think it's a sketch. Should it start with? I think the conference is the sketch. Yeah, yeah, right? That's that's what's interesting to me that point of conflict That's where the rubber hits the road, baby How great is that expression? Yeah, that's good where the rubber hits the road. Yeah, I mean because you've picture the car is landing Landing on the from nowhere. Yeah, so it's already gone off a jump or something like that. Yeah, but but but where is it? Where was the jump? You know, it implies that the jump was so far away. It's not even within sort of mapable distance. Yeah, or it's falling from a balloon like in

in Operation Bumbo Drumbo drum. Bumbo drum. Bumbo drum. Now that's sad eye. But I love that you're revving the engine on the way down as well. Yeah, that's me. That's me full. I'm dropping from a hot air balloon, but I'm revving all the way down. So then when I hit the ground, I could take off. I guess it would be like you just want to fall on an incline so that it'll be a smooth landing.

Yeah. I mean, you have to be a hell of an incline. I went down like a kid's slide at this indoor play center I went to to on Saturday. Oh yeah. And the house that has a child. Yeah, I have a child. And it's one of those like ones that kind of go straight down for a bit. But then the curve down the bottom really catches you. Yeah, it levels you out. Yeah. And it's like you you feel it in your heart. You know, if you go down, it was good. I went down twice, I went down once by myself and then twice with my boy. And he loved it twice and then he was like, he was done

because it was almost, it's too intense. But if imagine doing that, but in a car. That would be, I mean, yes, it's like car boarding. Because that's what skateboarders do all the time in a half pipe. Does anyone, does anybody done caring in a half pipe? They must have done.

It'd have to be a big half pipe though, right? I know, but what about the regular half pipe? Well, I feel like that's a really great way to get stuck. I know, but that's, I wanna be impressed. But that's the sport. It is getting stuck. Yeah, that's interesting But I guess even a car half pipe is pretty interesting just like a you know size that would work for them. Oh, so what I said Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right doing those jumps at the edge

Yeah, because you kind of have to like twisting the car in mid-air is gonna be hard Yeah, but you have to kind of make that turn happen as you're hitting the lip. I don't think you can. Yeah, you gotta just turn. You gotta get, oh, you gotta get some, yeah, rotational. Maybe a handbrake in it. Handbrake is on every time you hit the lip. Yeah.

Great. Hey, just quickly, while we were talking about, we're talking about something about heart rates. Can't remember what it was anymore. Yeah. But I think this it was anymore. Yeah. But I think this would be interesting. Okay. Right.

You know how they have those traffic maps where they can show like what the, what the like density of traffic is and that's something with red and green and stuff. We on Google maps and stuff. They did that kind of thing. Now everybody's got these Christmas call bits and these Christmas calendars, yeah. And yellow. Now that everybody's got these fit bits and Apple Watches and that sort of thing, they measure people's heart rate, right?

They must be able to get a map up of what people's heart rate is like across the city. And then you can identify like stress centers and that sort of thing. And then maybe it would be possible to like to like if you were looking at that data from above um you know like the government or something you'd be able to tell where like where's the like some kind of like hotspot or something you'd be like oh something's going down. Could you look at the data from across let's say it was on a screen yeah that would be even better yeah right uh but the screen shows it from above unless it's one of those tables that has like you know like Space invaders on it. That's like you know the screen is built into the table. Yeah in the war room. Yeah

Yeah, anyway, I just think that'd be really interesting watching that daughter of like red you know for high heart rates Low heart rates and that sort of you see real real intense spot red spot over there You're like something's, could be a crime. We don't know, right? But you might be able to work out from data or something. Sure. Or you might go in there, you might send a swap team in, turns out, it's a really compelling poetry reading.

That's right, yeah. Or you could also see it like a green area around a busker. And you go, oh, we gotta get this guy into this high stress spot over here. Oh, yeah. And then you start paying for these buskers. You know, this guy who plays that. It's a really soothing busk. Yeah, that everybody knows these soothing buskers that Alistair is talking about.

You know that one string Chinese instrument gun? Yeah, you're right. That's probably the only soothing busker. Wait, are you talking about soothing hum? S-s-s-s-s-thing hum. The guy who plays the one string instrument. We were talking about how the phrase soothing hum sounds like a name from Southeast Asia. Yeah. We talked about that before the podcast and it finally finally became relevant. Finally had a place to put it in. And now we can

leave and die. Exactly. Now wait, one, two, three, four, five. On a nice round, episode 187. Technically we have, we have five ideas, so we could go to three words. I'd love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Our three words. We've been a really fun episode. I don't want to jinx it, but I'd love that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, our three words been a really fun episode. I don't want to jinx it, but I've had a great time. I've been having a lot of fun too, Andrew. Thanks. Andrea if.

That's me. We have three words from not a person. Even though I know there's a person behind it, we have got three words from a network. Yeah. You know, entities are now. They're people now. You know, citizens united.

Citizens united. And corporations of people. Mitt Romney was right. Yeah. And now those people, those new types of people are donating to our Patreon. That's what this is all about. It all becomes relevant now.

That's right. Yeah. And the people, when are the CPACs going to start supporting to anything, Tank? Exactly. And what are the big ones? The Super PACs. Super PACs.

We want to get a Super PAC. If anybody knows any Super PACs, we're looking to get sponsored on Patreon by a super pack. What's CPAC? Did I say CPAC? What's CPAC? Is that a thing? CPAC I think? Or is it just packs and super packs? C-SPAN? C-SPAN! That's what I was thinking. Where is C-SPAN? Get a start supporting. It'd be nice if C-SPAN did, but I think they might just be like a national broadcaster.

I'll take it. I mean, I don't scoff at national broadcasters. We don't scoff. I don't want any national broadcasters who are listening to think that I'm some kind of national broadcaster scoffer. You're right. Anyway. Anyway, national broadcaster scoffer sounds like an episode title. Three words were donated by the dog hair network. It's a podcast network that comes out of Scotland.

Hello to the dog hair network. Hello. And they have sent us three words. And the three words, I think, are in some way related to the place that they're from. Okay. Okay. Here. is it harsh Scottish accent? It's nothing like that. Okay. Worlds, harshest accent. Well, because the accent, I want, you know, the accent is purely the sort of, what makes up an accent? Is it tone, is it rhythm? It's the flavor of a sound.

That's right. If sound could have flavor, this is what it would be. You'd call it the accent. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, but I was wondering, you know, because, because words can be harsh, obviously, you know, um, you can say things like you butt head. Oh, you dingle, Barry. Yeah. You're a numb nuts. Yeah. Get out of here. Point Dexter.

Okay. But, but no one would suggest that either of our accents are harsh in any way. Su thing. My voice has universally been described as soothing. Well, yeah. So you've got a sort of a softer, a stroin accent. I have a neutral accent. It's like, yeah, people have described us as soothing. You know, I think that Andy, you could probably do if you wanted to. And I don't know if this idea has ever come to you. Some kind of guided meditation podcast. Thank you very much, Lestet.

I wish I could say the same for you. No, I mean, like it's hard to listen to a neutral accent. It's almost too boring. Right, right, yeah. You know, that phrase, too sleepy to sleep? Yeah. I do know that. I've seen it.

You've probably been at the receiving end of that a lot of reviews of your meditation podcast. I've seen a toddler actually be too sleepy to sleep. Yeah. Well. Can I read that review that I got for Shusher guided meditations? Alistair, this is a family podcast. I don't know that that's necessarily appropriate. No, I mean I got a review for Shusher guided meditations. This is Alistair's other podcast. You always wedges it in.

I wedged it. Actually, Andy, you tend to wedged it in more than I do. You're very wedged in. I thinkedged it. Actually, Andy, you tend to wedged it in more than I do. You're like a wedged in. I think it's in your proving that you support me. That's it. It's all I have. It's all I can do is support. This is my platform, Alistair. And I use that platform to promote you and your platform.

And I appreciate that. It's cross-platform. What? It's cross-platform. I thought you said clap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Plap. Pl great. This is a good promotion. Read it out. Don't make it read it out. I've got a much more soothing voice. Oh, wait. I'll just try to do a voice. Okay, you try and be soothing. Try and sound so. Come on, Elisdair.

We've got to try and plug this podcast. Okay, wait, okay. So let's say this one just says, the subject is gold. I struck it when I found this podcast, genuine laugh out moments deserve a cult following. Okay, so that's the baseline of what you can expect from this podcast. You know, that's okay. Now here's this new one that I've just received a review.

And I'm sure this is a serious review. It's from Italy. And the subject is best buddy for a girl. All right, and then the body of the text is, I love this podcast. I hope you guys know this is the best to masturbate to. I had been looking for so long. Thank you. So, So long. Thank you. So listen to Shusher guided meditations. And you know what I already goals you can masturbate.

And I don't want it to just be women masturbating too. For once, I like to think that there's a young man out there listening to podcasts, you know, young lonely man, not just these horny women, constantly downloading my podcast, it's disgusting, and it's a cliche. It's a cliche. And I'm sick of it. We've had enough of it,

you've had enough of it on this podcast, Alistair, I'm sure. We get too many reviews like that from young it on this podcast, Alistair. I'm sure. We get too many reviews like that from young men on this podcast. And, you know, I don't know, whoever. And so, anyway, listen to Shisha Goddard meditations. It really, it seems, has something for everyone. More than can be said of any other media ever. Yeah, it was surprising.

It was surprising, but it turns out the podcast is more to the podcast than I thought. I think you always knew this was there, and I think this was secretly what was behind the entire operation, the entire time. The entire operation was based around people getting some kind of randomness. Randomness. Randomness. Yeah, sure. uh... Randiness. Randiness.

Yeah, sure. Um, no, I'm really happy for you and I'm really happy for Italy. I don't think, look, I think it has nothing to do with me and it has everything to do with Italy. I think so. I think we're learning a lot about the um... Europe. The Europe.

I think it's probably all about Brexit. The Europe. The Europe. I think it's probably all about Brexit. The Europe. I think this is about Brexit in some way and it's somebody rebelling against, you know, they just hear a voice that kind of sounds British, you know, from one of the colonies. Wow. And there, and it's it's there's a sadness that is morphing into a Attention line Into attention pleasure and sadness exactly. All right, so now go back to the dog hair network Three words world's harshest accent. Yeah, well it feels to me like an accent that that also delivers bad news in some way You know like like It feels to me like an accent that also delivers bad news in some way. You know, like, you know, really the world's hardest, harshest accent is probably more

of a tone. It's probably, you know, that voice that's like that you know is telling you to get in here right now. Whatever that tone is. You know, when you can tell that you're in trouble, that feels like an accent. I wonder if they've analyzed that right that you're in trouble voice Do you might be one of those universal things? You know, I was that you were telling me about the the root language that is comes from the cowards, right? I do in the

Proto-Indo European language. No the root language that comes from the cowards Proto-Indo European language. No, the root language that comes from the cowherts. Yeah, the Proto-Indo, yeah. Yeah, Indo-European. Yeah, I wonder if they could also analyze sort of the spread of the urine trouble voice, right? Find out where that came from. And then we might be able to find out where the first people ever lived, who were in trouble.

Where did trouble start? Where did trouble start? Who was the patient zero troublemaker. Trouble maker. I mean, if we could, if we could track, okay, so this is what you need, you need to, this is what you do, I'll tell you how you do this. You get, you take samples of the urine trouble voice from all across all cultures, right? And then you do some sort of DNA analysis, right? And you look at how that DNA is evolved between these different different groupings, right? And then you track why don't you need DNA? It's all in tone. You just got to follow the similarities in tone

and then you can work your way back Because all the similarities that there are in tone those are all the parts, you know If you know that all the languages came from one part I think that I don't think I think you'd be a fool to turn your nose up at the DNA information as well I'll stay and just go off the tone. I'm going entirely off-tone. I think if you've got two data sources here You've got the tone you've think if you've got two data sources here, you've got the tone, you've got the voice, you've got the DNA, right? I think that'll allow us to eliminate some errors because there's gonna be some convergences

and divergences and that sort of thing. How much do you think you can tell about the tone or that somebody uses based off their DNA? I know, I think you can tell about their movements as a people. Oh. All right. So that's what I'm interested in.

I'm interested in the flow of people. So I want to be able to track them back and work out where they came from. Well, you might also need archaeology then. Oh, pottery. We're also going to use shards of pottery. Well, because you can track people. It's a three-pronged attack.

You know, you can... Because you can track people by looking at, you know, like, the kind of stuff that they left behind when they were migrating. Sure. Sure. You know, like... Migratorial people. You know, like, they're...

Oh, all right. That's how people spread their tone. They're in trouble. Anyway, we're just going to find out who the original troublemaker was. And then we're going to know who started all of this monarchy. But the thing is, is that once we find the original troublemaker, we've actually haven't found the person who they were in trouble with yet. You're right.

That's just the starting point. Actually, I think what we've described would allow us to find who was the person they were in trouble with, right? Because we're tracking the urine trouble voice. But we haven't found the person who made the trouble. No, okay. Which is interesting because there's still another mystery there. And that's the real mystery.

We can find the first reprimander. Yeah, but we haven't found the first trouble maker. We suspect it was someone in their family. So I guess the idea is that also there might be people beforehand who might have had trouble, but trouble tones, but they were completely different. Yes. And so this person will be the first person who invented this trouble tone. Yeah. But the one that survived over the century.

But I think it's a funny idea if we can also identify who it was, who was the first person who got into trouble. Sure. Of course. I apologize. We ignore the detail. Yeah, made it too complicated. Made too connected to reality, Alistair. And as we've established, I've given up on reality because it didn't service my needs vis-a-vis the molecule debate. Right?

The great molecule debate of the 10th of June. That's when we were recording this. It'll be coming out tomorrow on the 11th if I remember to upload it, which is a thing that I only do because Alistair has to text me every single Tuesday and say it's upload day. And then I eventually get around to it. But honestly, if he didn't text me,

I think if you'd never texted me, I'd probably have sorted out a system of my own from the neighborhood of mine now. But I think now that you're started texting me, I just, it's just, it's just, it's just, I just have to remember. I think you need it. How do you remember?

Hey, I don't know. I just, you know, it's every day, I'm checking stats and things like that. And then I just go, Why are the stats so low today? It's a Tuesday. I mean, I go, wait a second, it's upload day. So really, it's the listeners who tell you. Well, you...

...by not downloading the podcast. ...by not downloading the podcast that I haven't uploaded. So it's me that tells you, I have to remind you, every every week that it's upload day by not uploading the podcast. And letting the listeners tell me. Yeah. By not uploading. Well, this because we're not on speaking terms. It's a shame. It is. Imagine how good this podcast would be if we were on speaking. The thing is is that we do this podcast through a translator and then we edit out the translator. A tell Andy that I think that the... Is that a translator?

Er... I think it's a mediator. All right. Well, that's why we're not on speaking terms. That's right. It's these kinds of petty disagreements. Yeah. That have ruined what was otherwise a perfectly functional communication portal. That's what I call a relationship, a communication portal. So's what I call a relationship

communication portal. So do you think finding the relationship embarrassing? Do you think finding the original trouble maker by tracing the trouble tone is a sketch? I think that's a sketch. And I think it's one that the dog here network would not be too offended by. Great. And now you've got to take us through the sketches that we've come up with our last day. Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. We've got safe space group therapy with an artsy. Yes.

We started, we started harsh, except so started dark. Hush. Hush and dark and problematic. We ended harsh as well. It was about the harshest accent. Then we've got smell foley. I love it.

I mean, that's very else. That's, if we haven't done that already, I'd be surprised. If you die in the game, you lose. That's the unwritten rule of every sport. Yeah. You know? Drug dealer accountability.

It's a new government system. That's the next level. This is actually gonna have to legalizing drugs. I would not, I mean, it's almost too real. You'll, I'm sure that if you look at these counties, these states in the United States that have legalized marijuana, the dispensaries or whatever, will have some kind of registration.

There will be a tracker on every molecule. Every molecule will have a chip. I guarantee it. Sure, but I mean, every bottle shop now doesn't have like a chip. But they got those things on the bottles when you try and steal them up your sleeves. That's the same thing. Oh, they're impossible to open those things. Alistair, I'm just going to take this moment to plug out Patreon bonus episodes. We just recorded a very funny one. I think people are going to want to listen to it this week. It's very good. Yeah, the topic is we have to come up with ideas for impractical science

products. And they're very funny. Thanks to XZNeal. Yeah. Check that out. Also, there's sci-fi trying guys. There'll be a new episode coming out. A couple of weeks of that. Saying.

We've got to write some stories. Yeah. Well yours is mostly written. It's getting harder to write. Yeah. I started real strong and I've, I've, I've, I've, um, It's because you pick a week over the month because you know what it is once a month You know why it is why it's because I told people how much fun I was having writing it and I gave away a lot of the things

I was enjoying about writing it you can't tell people that stuff you got to keep it inside Here's it as fuel. I'm keeping it inside with mine I did tell you something about it. Maybe I'm gonna cut that bit. Yeah, that that's out. I'm not using that. And then we got the chicken sex or conference where a bunch of chicken fuckers show up. It happens every goddamn year. Every year. And then there's the... I started laughing with the chicken sex or conference. Anyway, finding the original trouble maker by tracking the trouble tone. And that is another useful way in which you can tell the difference between the gender of two different chickens. Does anyone in the audience have any questions? You, the man with the erection. But, excuse this again sex with chickens doesn't happen until

after the conference is finished. Anyway Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum You can listen to you can master made to no that's not this podcast No, but I mean I think it's just because people haven't tried okay Well then that's something for the listeners to do in their own time master But no they could do it in our time Would it like use up our time that we don't have We don't have time for you to master by to the podcast We're busy. Yeah, we've got family too busy to master you'll get have to do that yourselves I'm so podcast. We're busy. We've got family. We're too busy to master. You're gonna have to do that yourselves. I'm so sorry.

We can't help. But I mean, I guess if you go to a conference or something, I mean, one of those like, columns. I'm podcast, the convention. Yeah, I guess then you could masturbate your listeners. Okay, this is our podcast for you. If we ever get invited to that big one that they do in San Francisco, right?

Well, Masterbeck, one of you. We'll do it. We'll do a live podcast where everybody can masturbate. This doesn't feel like something we talk about. You can tell we're drunk. Alistair and I have been drinking stout. I am not. I am.

I am stone cold sober. And this is something I really believe. So we're on Twitter and you can get us a two in tank. I'm at Stupid Old Lanny. And I'm at Alistair TV. And you can support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash two in tank. You can check out Al's podcast, Shusha. Shusha got a meditations.

We, my, an episode of that episode recently dropped on the do-go-on feed. So listen to do-go-on, and also if you've never listened to Shusha, but you don't want to have to search for in the thing, but you do listen to do-go-on. This is perfect. Go and find it in that feed. But you do listen to the think-tack as well. I mean, I don't know why we haven't

dropped it into our feed. Well, because we're above that. We're above that. We're sick fucks. And you know what? I hope you have a really good life. If this is the last time you have a hearse. Yeah. I want you to know that your life was worthwhile. Yeah. And that you're a good person and no matter what happened, those of us who survived will really be able to use what you did to thrive. The good that you have done in the world has been felt and has been appreciated. Absolutely. And the mistakes that you have made and the regrets that you have have been either forgotten or are part of the rich tapestry of what has made everybody happier and stronger. The world is a better place for you having been in it and continuing to be in it, assuming

you're not going to die before the next episode. That's right. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount is not available in all safe and situations.