Two In The Think Tank - 192 - "DOUBTING IN THE WAR ROOM" with JACKSON and ADAM from SANSPANTS!

Episode Date: July 23, 2019

Please come and see the encore season of MAGMA 1,2,3 August in Melbourne - TICKETSOne thousand blessings to Jackson and Adam from Sanspants. Abandon everything else in your life and dedicate yourself to consuming their content.Alien Podcast, Alien Piss Stop, Worry Room, Landscape Self Portrait, Da inci Hill, Crab Ethics, $25, Circumnavigate Law, Banana NirvanaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereBeautifully weighted thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.

Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings were very discounts not available in all safe and situations. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more That's a great eye. Should we just start again? No, let's go. No, no, no. People are definitely going to skip this.

No, no, no. The whole point of this is... Well, no, no, no, they're intrigued, they're listening. Right? They're going to want to know what is it that's so important that we fucked it up this bad. Okay. August 1st, 2nd and 3rd, we are performing Magma at the Butterfly Club in Melbourne, years 2019.

This is a... If you're hearing this, we are still alive. There is still human lives. I'm the replanted. And tickets are still available. Yeah, more importantly, tickets are still available. The Butterfly Club is seven o'clock. If you get in early, if you get this,

if you book the second you hear this, you'll get a massive discount for the early bird tickets. So absolutely get on board with that. There is a link in the description. Okay, that's the plug out of the way. Now on with the ad. This episode is brought to you by Harry's raises or shavards. We still don't know. It's been two years. I think they're just refuse to tell us. And more importantly, we refused to listen.

And, anyway, they are supporting the podcast. So support the raises that support the podcast or shavers. And they are very high quality. I shave with them. It improves my quality of life. I shave even after I've just shaved. That's how pleasant it is to shave with them. And not an indication of the unsatisfactory job they do the first time around. No, no, no, because that is not the case. Not at all. No, no. The only time they've done an unsatisfactory job is when I'm not using them. This is how smooth the shave is. You feel like the blade is covered in tiny little hands,

which are plunging down through the follicles to rip the hair out from the root. Right? In terms of the smoothness, not in terms of the amount of pain. Yeah, no, no, because in terms of the amount of pain, it also feels like another hand is injecting pain killers into your face. That's right.

And you're not feeling it at all. Right, but then you still retain feeling, and indeed, you know, function in your face after this, what sounds like a traumatic experience, but also it's like there's another hand giving you a roofie, so you don't remember any of the... Mm, and it's over and it's like a treat. Another hand patting your back, that even though you don't remember,

there's still a comforting feeling. That's right. From the past, you go, I don't know what just happened, but I feel good about it. And I'm going to fill the space with positive fake memories. So we'll be talking about this a little bit more later. This is just the tease of the top. Harry's.com for a slash think tank. You know we're on eight cars now, so there's every chance that they've also listened to like a pre roll.

Oh my god. Thank you. And bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, is from a Sandspans radio? Mm-hmm. Do you guys, is it radio? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Um, you want to consider what you do to be radio? Um, no. It is Jackson and Adam. Thank you for having us.

Can the first sketch be millennia from now in an alien civilization in a museum? This is the last reminent of human. Even the first thirty seconds of this podcast. This is all they have to know us by now. Well, if that were to happen, they would presumably scan the podcast and try and recreate our physical form based only on the information. And out of whatever they can find in the wasteland I think the end and sand We believe they were made out of the last remnants of what was on their planet radioactive form

And using like radioactive sort of in like holograms But instead of light it's sort of like gamma radiation andadiation. And then they recreated on a stage, and it's just guys plugging resist, worshipers. Did they imagine we're one entity? Not several different people. Why entity with four voices? Well, I think given the fact that we've compressed that

this down to a mono track, we've probably leave them very little choice. Yeah, absolutely. They have to assume. One central hub, bellyy, or whatever. I don't know the face. This is grabbing its forehead like you. You don't want to turn the app.

One very upset hat, yes. I mean, is it an ad if it doesn't feel like you're crashing? We do not know who this god was. They refer to who supported the podcast. Aliens maybe don't own a riser as well or a shaver that's gonna be confusing for them. I like aliens. You're right, that's gonna be confusing for them. That's gonna be the thing.

They're gonna have to nut out. What are they talking about? And I do mean nut out, absolutely. Aliens are gonna be, if we find hairy aliens, that is going to blow our minds. We are not ready as a species for hairy aliens. You're absolutely right. Yeah.

Nowhere in the literature has this been addressed. We want smooth aliens. That's what the human being desires in its alien form. Well, I see it as we either want completely smooth or completely hairy. Because if an alien has hair, it's got hair everywhere, like Chewbacca. That's right. An alien, like a cry alien with just a full head completely hair. Because if an alien has hair, it's got hair everywhere, like Chewbacca. That's right.

An alien, like a cry alien with just a full head of hair. A cry alien. A cry alien, exactly. Exactly. Upsaddling. Or an alien with a mustache? It's upsetting to look at, I think. You think about it.

Who is most realistically, like we're not going to get young aliens. We're going to get people. That's true. No mad aliens. These are the aliens who've retired, who have gone on some sort of intergalactic caravanning trip. Absolutely. Right. And then sort of break down or whatever it is,

sort of become lost in the desert of space. Of the cosmos. And they're very interested in genealogy and things like that. So that's why they're like, oh, they find a USB drive in Saint-Roch. Ooh. And then they try to recreate societies from it. Because they're in just the...

The fossil of a USB drive. The fossil of a USB, because they're interested in where... They're interested in where the DNA from their planet... Where it's diffused. Yeah, because somehow we seeded that through sending off some, like, you know, golden record onto their planet and then some skin cells from some NASA, you know, scientist seeded life on their planet.

Now I'm just gonna interrupt everyone here, just for a second, just to see whether or not I actually am coming up on this microphone because, yeah, I am. Okay, everyone, and listen to this. Listen to this, you are absolutely welcome for that on a daily experience. I don't know what it is. I feel like like I'm shouting but all you guys are shouting more and And I'm looking at the levels and they're not coming up to the extent to which I would want that's that's fun

Which is you want them to be peaking? Listenable imagine if we had to pretend that we were doing this for the first time again What do you think what do you think we'd do? So you were imagining the aliens like great no amounts, right? And that made me kind of picture like when like people in like their RV arrive at like a tourist attraction stop get out Peace and leave. What would that do to humanity's Self-esteem if the aliens came so Ross will like and left I think it would ruin us as a species. Did they piss here? Self-esteem if the aliens came, saw us, we're like, and left.

I think it would ruin us as a species. Did they piss here? Yeah. They came out, we as the nearest boss. They refill their, they're, they're sort of, their tank with saltwater. Yeah. But like are you gonna stay and give us any fancy technology?

And they're like, no, I'm not really. We realize that like in galactic terms, we are like a roadside sort of rest stop area. Like our seas are salinated purely by aliens, but Melania are going for it to be able to stop it. One of their kids with, one of their kids needed people who was really young, so the dad had to hold them behind the moon. So that none of the passing cars could see. I think aliens landing and being like, oh, you've filled our saltwater with organic life

and like the way you might drain a tag and they just kill all the fish. Like, oh, we just want this pure and without life and it's very nice. That's gonna be better for our ships. I mean, it would make sense maybe that our oceans was just alien piss. Yeah, absolutely.

It's the piss now. Yeah, I think Jackson had it as like a fuel. Yeah, I had it as a fuel. Yeah, no, I didn't. We didn't fuel Aliens work maybe they piss in the tank and then they can constitute that into their ship now this is really getting into some specular Philip K. Dicks piss fuel His least celebrated his face fuel. His least celebrated show. I've ever been.

Completely eradicated from the records. Nobody wants to raid Piss Feele. Piss Space catheter. A very uncomfortable test that you were given after your personality quiz. Piss Feele. Look, okay. I currently have aliens finding, I mean, I mean, this, I guess this is a new thing, is that our planet is a... Is a piss stop. Is a piss stop.

It's a piss stop. Yeah. What, when the aliens leave, how are we coping? Are we getting by, you know, like every day we know, we are no good, we exist as a piss stop. Well, it feels like the next logical step in our gradual realization of our place in the universe, because we used to think, you know, it was a,

well, the world was centered on the Mediterranean. And now we, you know, then we thought it was centered on the earth, the universe centered on the earth. It's a center of the sun, it's a center of the sun, the blah, blah, blah, blah, you know. And then, and then this will be the ultimate, well, maybe the ultimate conclusion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we would hope.

I mean, we can't get any lower. Maybe we're going to be good for us to hit rock bottom. Yeah, absolutely. It's no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, because we're not as good as whatever this species is. Absolutely. But then also they treat us like garbage. And they don't even want to interact with us and engage with us. We just say they're back of their RV fleeing off into spice. But I like that in a way that makes us the Galileos, if this came true. We're making the climb, bro. Galileo lived in a side room, stuck there.

OK, not humanity. We're not the Galileos. Like Galileo didn't have like the sun piss on him. He wasn't imagining. No, no, no, no. He's a great visual for when we do this as an animation or whatever it is, okay? So the big ship comes down, like a big galactic RV,

a land, right? And then we bring out our leaders, right, and we have them all arranged there, all of the members of the UN or whatever, all standing there all looking all nice, right, and meanwhile on the side of the ship, we can see this glowing hatch, right, that flicks open, and then just all this piss and shit. What lies out all over our leader. Covering our leader's hands extenders. Yeah, in that case. Swomped in human, well not alien-wise. Alien-wise, and then it just goes, shh, closes back up and they just take off again. And that's it.

That's great as well because that humiliates our leaders in front of the planet. That is a surefire way to create the end of the world right there. Well, I can't respect someone who's been covered in aliens' shit. And this is gonna be broadcast everywhere. Like, everyone is watching this. There's no coming back from that really. No, there's nothing we could do unless they all agreed to step down and someone else went in that place. We really didn't show the precautions that you probably should take with an alien. Yeah. Like a first encounter or whatever, of sending all your most important people to the...

Run man! She just stands by the hatch. Hand out. Even if they did come out and just wanted to fight one hand to hand combat, this arm is so tired from being held up for so long. Extended in a gesture of kindness. Our leaders are only 50% fighting fit. Oh no, that was a strong arm. Maybe the whole tradition of shaking hands with your dominant arm was an idea planted here by the aliens. Sure. Yon to go. Just to weaken us for when they arrive. They are playing an extremely long game.

For this eventual invasion attempt that seems to be based entirely on hand-to-hand combat. Yeah, I'm loving this, I love it. She's coming out pissed off. They live a long time. Yeah. And they believe in just being in touch with their enemies. Do you think maybe if they're trying to weaken us, then when we started developing hand-to-hand combat,

they're like, no, no, no, we can't let them have that. Let's see the idea that it should be children and they need to know karate. We will not be effective. So you're saying that the dojos, like you you're shopping center dojos or whatever are another alien idea So that we can't make a children's straw I don't I don't understand how they're planned to train us for a young age to fight Fits into your but it's great to be able to alien's lair like we said the trope of karate teens on to the gym. This is the exact opposite of all you want to tell.

I feel like having done karate at the young age that it definitely helped me back from being a good fighter. I mean look I have the stance and I have the spinning fist. Sure. Right. Do you do submarine punches? What I also did karate. I would like to see submarine punches wait All right, I need to stand off Adams

Never happened in the podcast We're getting some physical we got a combat happened in here. Okay show us. Okay, so it's okay Show us K-sodes okay. Oh Just about twice time Swinging back and forth I mean it all looks like he's doing a shimming. It's pretty close to a shimming This would be a wedding dance at a 55 year old would do To damage someone else's hips. That's right. I'm gonna just punch on one's hip,

but to just not brain punch. It is, what's the part there that holds the penis areas? The pelvis. The pelvis, the penis area. The pelvis bone. It's just designed, it's a part that doesn't get involved much in combat, the pelvis bone. Quick survey.

Hands up here, or just say, I, if you did karate as a child, I. I. I. I. I did not. So confusing. Do the three of us think that we could take an enemy and a fight? Absolutely not. Yeah. I don't think I could.

And so, I think the phrase, an alien, is so impossibly broad. I mean, like it's almost like nothing at all. It's like you said nothing. Look, well, if you need to... But still, I would like to hear you guys say that, yes, you think you could. I can't. I don't think I could Well, I know it would be slimy and smooth not hairy And that slimyness would make my fists to slip off of its hip bones every time I tried to you know murder its pelvis

Imagine if you hit one of those big grey-headed aliens that it came back up. Look at that. It's crying. They're not big. They got that bounce. They're getting incredible centrifugal. No, not what we're talking about. They're spinning.

They're always spinning. What if they come back and hit us really hard? Maybe that's what they want. Maybe that's how they were designed to peve them. That's why they got such a big hat. I'm disoriented by the lack of grounding to the inside of the picture. Can we try and figure it out? Well, as soon as you accused somebody of not making sense, we had to double down.

On the lack of sense. It was Adam said, maybe that's what they want in terms of us punching them in their head. And then they come back and hit us like really like they're good at that. But if I have my fist ready we have to be prepared for that eventuality. Maybe that's what they want. I want you in the war room right there. When you, five star general Jackson suggests touching them in the hair, you say, maybe that's what they want. Okay, we better not then. How many wars would you back to the New Psytis?

How many wars could you have stopped out of, maybe that's what they want? Maybe that's what they want? Maybe that's what they want, let's not do it, see you. Maybe that's what they want. Maybe that's what they want. Let's not do it. See what happens. Well then maybe we should just kill them, they go. No. I know I've said this before, but that's what they want.

He. Well, unconditional surrender. Hmm. See, the worry is, is we don't want to accidentally give into their demands. It'll make us seem weak. I'm imagining myself in the war room, I think I've been quiet for a little while, and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait. What if Karate was secretly what the Soviet Union wanted us to know?

I feel like you're a valuable asset to any war right? I agree. Absolutely. Yeah, and we're needing like a devil's attitude. Absolutely. Well, like if we cross the Delaware at this time, they'll all be asleep in their tents, and then maybe that's what they want. That's not true.

Whichever, was that a genuine historical record? It was, which is a shock. Yeah, well that'd come from. I couldn't even tell you. Was that the... Yeah, they crossed the Delaware because the fellas were sleeping in their tents and it was they knew it was like a time where they were going to wake up in the morning. Oh no, I'm...

I've left my comfortable area of knowledge. And now I'm speculating. Yeah, one was speculating. Do you think there was one person as they were crossing the Delaware? One person who said, Delaware, more like unaware, but really loudly, so woke up all of the... I mean, you couldn't begrudge him that, right? Because that's just there.

Absolutely. Even though you gave away the entire result. Yeah. As they're being riddled with bullets, I'm sure that's what they were saying. Yeah, I don't know. You have to take it. You had to take it. It was there. Yeah, Joe Washington gives him that scale and then the shrug of like, well, you know Joe Washington's head Explosive

Like a monster A musket ball rips Man, Washington crossing the Delaware is a less impressive painting if they're getting riddled with bullets I mean, it's probably a better painting. Yeah, the more exciting. It's a bit red in there. Yeah, the subs come up with more evocative, you know. Probably could see things in the sort of the cloud, the blood mist. Well, everyone else, everyone's doing their speculative history or their alternative history.

Yeah. They're all literature. Yeah. But we could do a bit of speculative, speculative alternative history painting. Yeah, I think so. What if Mona Lisa facing the opposite direction? Exactly. Mona Lisa back of head in brackets.

Exactly, or you know, just Mona Lisa side on. Exactly. Like what about 2D? I would not have drawn well. Now we're into my comfort zone. Bad Mona Lisa. I look at original one with Mona Lisa's facing the other way because that implies a universe where every painting is from the opposite perspective. That was how they did it back in the day. Well, that's seen from the point of view of the painting. Yeah. What about if you were the hill? Was there a hill in the background of Mona Lisa?

I think it was possible. I think so. Yeah. The cow? The collity film. Like a cow behind you or something? Oh, you guys are a bridge. What if you were the hill?

And you had the ability to pint? Yeah. Had the ability to paint, or, you know, okay, first you had the ability to see. Yes. The hills have eyes. Yeah, the hills have eyes. So we've all heard of the hills having eyes. But what about the hills having paint brushes

and access to a canvas? Yes. Hills in the background of the Mona Lisa, painted the Mona Lisa, but we still get to see the back of that. Does that mean Leonardo da Vinci's idea was, what if the hills were seeing this? That's what I'd like to be. You fool. It's not about how good the painting is. It's about the idea that

Da Vinci painted it from the perspective of the hill. That's what's beautiful. He's one of the greatest hill painters that has ever existed. But he was a hill. That's what you're saying? He was like a, that was painting hills. He was himself. Yeah. I mean, I guess you could picture that. I mean, you could picture that that you go, you know, I think, I think Leonardo Da Vinci was pondering when he painted the monolith, he said was, what would it be like to be a Hill? Well, this is like if he painted it for a behind. Yeah, yeah, I'm so low on the hill. What would it be like to climb to the top of a giant man and paint the landscape you see before you? The man's game.

But then would would the hill see out the window of the painting and see Leonardo on the other side? Yeah, we're presumably the window with the painting. Yeah, yeah, so look. It allows you into the art world. Yeah, other dimension, the art world. We can't all access it any time. I used to say that the money Lisa was painted through a window. How did he get that perfect rectangular shape? How did he match the

window perfectly to the frames of the picture? I'm saying a painting is a portal into the art dimension and then a dimension in which art hills can paint themselves, not themselves. They would need a mirror for that. Yeah or a hill that can be a mirror. Or you could go look at that painting of a hill painting itself and looking at self-portrait of a hill. I love that. Maybe all just landscape paintings are self-portraits by you. That makes a lot of sense. We got it. Is it? Okay, a landscape self-fortri. We warmed our way through the nonsense to a mildly coherent ending then.

I mean, that's a, look, that's a fun thing. But also in general, it's a fun alternative history to write an alternative history, wherein Leonardo da Vinci was a hill. Yeah, absolutely. Everyone else is who they are. Yeah, the, uh, all the rules of the painting, the painting dimension still exists as they do.

So 3D, and all that kind of stuff? Yeah, yeah. But Leonardo da Vinci is a hill. Well, I can, how different would things of be? You know, what do you do to change? Yeah. What do you, what do you still have sort of decided to prototype helicopter? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you doing with that? What do you still have, sort of, decided to prototype helicopter?

More than a helicopter? More than a helicopter? What all of his vehicles be designed for a hill? Not for a human being. A prototype, like, scooping machine to move hills. That's true, yeah. So that a hill can... Can go... can go places.

Can go locomot. The verb to locomot. Well, a hill can't places. Can lokomot. The verb to lokomot. Well, a hill can't walk. It's got to get there somehow. Jackson is correct, a hill can't walk. Sorry, please. You're right. You're right.

I mean, they can paint and they can invent. But God damn it, we will not let them walk. Well, we let hills walk, then the landscape would constantly be changing. You could never build a city or grow a forest. It's not happening. Sand, sand dunes. They talk about the walking dunes. Oh, that's true.

Yeah. Anyway. Good night. We're going to go kill myself now. Oh, god. And those will be by last week, except for these, obviously. Discounting these words. Yeah, everything else will be your final word.

Stop listening. Ha-ha-ha. Sandgreens do move, I guess. Much like hills cannot. That's true. Let's change a subject. Shut up. Oh, all right.

What if they could walk? It annoys me that speaking of snakes, you know, does that snake the move side to side? All the side winders. Yes, I'd wind her exactly. It annoys me that that snake and crabs are the only animals that move Left and Right instead of forward and backwards. That's nonsense and a floor. You're an idiot. I can move left and right. But you're not well, yes No, I was just gonna agree with him And there's also those dancing horses they can't move left and right but they're not restricted to left no that's true it's what does a crab get what is the benefit to moving left to right I don't know I guess it depends on whether their eyes

their their eyes kind of point outwards so maybe they're eyes are facing forward okay oh you're angry that they do move left, right? Yeah. Not that the rest of us don't. Yes. Because I can move left and right, but a crab can't move forward and back. Actually, no, I've seen crabs moving forward. No, there are a lot of crabs that can move forward and back.

But there are also specific crabs that can only move left to right, like the side wind of the snake. He's angry about those ones. Oh, oh yeah. Specifically, the crabs that give me grip. I just don't know what is the benefit to the crab. Ironically, this conversation doesn't seem to move forward. It's a perfect life to do.

You created something that you hate. This is my Frankenstein idea. Well, well, we've got the perfect case study. We just need to work out what's the benefit of this conversation. That's right, and then we can find out why's the benefit of this conversation. That's right. And then we can find out why crabs. I mean, here's an idea. Sure.

Right. I, there's these glasses that you can get. Sure. Right. That basically turn your vision of the world upside down. Right. I don't know how they do it. Mirrors or screens, whatever it is.

But you put them on. And apparently if you wear them for like five or six days, yeah, very disorienting for a long time, and then your brain literally rewires so that you can't tell that you're seeing all the things that are. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. That's crazy, right? Yeah, yeah. So this is my plan, right? You're going to grab your ripoff all its legs. Great, right? Oh, right. I'm 100% on board. And then you put it on a little wheel to contraption problem that moves forwards and backwards. And you somehow wire that up so that it feeds from the brain of the crab, from the brain or the nerve stops off the crab.

So where the crab would move left and right, now it moves forwards and backwards. And you wet and see whether or not the crab can thrive. If it's improved the crab's life, there you are. I mean, it's arguable that having a wheels underwater... I'll keep it on a beach on the beach. It's going to be automatically going to be a setback. I like that in a hypothetical.

You constricted yourself to a realistic wheels, as opposed to... You could have just put it... You could have given it man legs. Man legs, you're right, I could have. put it you could have given it man legs man I could have that's too much power for the crab wheels. That's good. That's good. That keeping the crab at a low level Here's another thing you could do you just get another crab I would have this going turn the crabs at 90 degrees to each other Yeah, and then sort of hot wire The the crabs together.

Yeah, yeah. Then that crab was full 360 movement. I'm a fan of this. And then I'm still ripping the legs off the other crab. The top crab. We'll call it the great humane experiment. Well, that'll get past the ethics people. Yeah.

And then obviously, you eat the crab legs, that way you're not wasting anything. Yeah, absolutely. And then you feed the crab your legs so that it's even. And now that'll get it past the ethics pool. Your comic balance reminds the side. This is not inhumane. I'm losing my legs this quick. I'm like, for real.

And they say, you're right, there's a moral imperative that we do do this. Do do. Do we do? Um, but I do like, for some reason, the part that I really loved was the part where you hot-wire the two brains together. Because then you got the two personalities of the crabs pointing to two into, like, they're kind of become, like, just two hemispheres. And I like that.

Because I feel like two crab brains will be able to work out what exactly is going on. They'll work together unless one of them was a murderer that is transplanted to a regular crap. Wait, like a human murderer? Like how you might get the hand of a murderer? Yes. Murdering hand tries to kill people. Sure, so wait, so the top crab who might not have legs. Yeah, he is a murderer, let's say.

And then he realizes he wants to murder his new legs, the bottom crab. Is it how would he do that now? The bottom crab wakes up in the night and he's strangling his wife's crab. With his hands. Oh, they're giving him murderers. Oh, it's not pincers. Here's my question. Yeah, if you say you want a strangle a crab Where do you squeeze? You just wrap your hands around all crap and squished down Stretching the definition of strangle I also can we I don't think a crab can murder I don't think that's within a crab's capability. To murder. And they can kill, but they can't murder.

Sure, because it's to murder, you have to kind of want to murder. Yeah, like a crab has no ill intent toward any other crab, really. I guess because they don't have any, they don't have any eyelids, so they can't do shady eyes. They can't do like shifty, like, crab is always on the side.

Wide eyeed, you're right. That is why they can't murder your prize. Well, it's why they can't be like shifty, like, crowd is always sad. Why not? That is why they can't murder your prize. Well, it's why they can't be proven to have murdered. Right? They can, in the court of law, you're unable to prove shifty eyes. Yeah, absolutely. Which is why they preaches.

Be on reason for that. Be on reason for that. The reason for that. I feel like within there, there was a sketch idea. But we got rid of it. Don't worry. We move faster. Whatever it was, we've tried it. It feels like this has been a lot of...

You know the Michelangelo quote, where he's looking at marble or whatever, and he's like, there's the statue within this, that I will shift away or bring out. It's very out of my way. It's within that. Basically, he would say that he would just carve away all the bits that aren't my life-lowest, David.

Yeah, so the listener at home will have to do that. Carve away every bit that wasn't the sketch, and they'll find it in there. There's probably just like Monty Python's cheese sketch. Cheese shop sketch. Yeah, but in there, somewhere. Well, look, I think, I think, can I dare I suggest that there is a, an ethics board type sketch, in which somebody is trying to get up this idea of gluing two crabs together

ripping off one of their legs. For sure. But the ethics board then talks them through basically what they'd have to, how they'd have to modify the experiment in order to make it to get ethics approval Amazing that ethics applies to crustaceans In this universe, but and and you know basically they come to the conclusion that he does have to cut off his own legs Yeah, yeah, I think that's fair After a long discussion they're like would you be because I assume this person that's trying to do

the crap experiment is quite hard-headed and is not swaying either way, and they're like, would you do it? If you will allow it, you just have to cut off your own legs as well. And after some thought, this person's like, feed it to the guy. Well, science, I owe it to science, obviously,

to solve this front and back crab in under him. I mean, just to see, yeah, I mean, really, he just wants to see if crabs would actually do better, even though evolution proved that somehow crabs did better because they could move side to side. And even though we do have crabs that can move forward and back, this one's as he is damn it very early on in the race. This is one specific crab that this person's worried about. I mean, maybe that advantage just comes from the fact that there are so many crabs that just move forward and backwards. That's true. Normally, that, like, there's a sort of like a, you know, probably, you know, crab's main predators or something that usually, they come down and try and slam down on them.

Someone with a full, like a big, full, like picking the crab up and to throw it or something. Yeah, it's almost the time they, you know, the brain anticipates the way that they're gonna move like that. And so they go, oh, well, it's either gonna go forward or backward. So I'll just align my talents and preparation for that. And then a move to the side helps to survive. Then it goes and obviously has loads of babies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts.

Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates national average 12 months savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023 potential savings will vary discounts not available in all safe and situations Do we think there's a sketch and a restaurant that opens up that is just a section of the beach with crabs and you call it extremely fresh crabs. And everyone just gets a fork,

and they go down to where the crabs are coming in, stab the crab, eat the crab in one go. Well, it's like a cook your own burger, it's kind of like a place. It just stab your own crab. It's a stab your own. You've got the waiter who would usually gesture to the fish tank, but instead gestures to the crabs,

just to the sea. The person picks it out and the weight is like, and your spear, or stabbing for you first. Slam. What you're describing here is sort of a curated hunter gatherer experience. Almost not a restaurant at all. But I think, I think, broadly speaking,

a hunter gatherer style restaurant. Yeah, absolutely. Just a sort of a defined area of nature. Sort of just a section cordoned off on the beach. A fancy sign saying hunters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it would allow you to thwart a lot of sort of like having to do like, you know, keep your restaurant clean and things like that.

Those kind of laws might not technically preparing any food yourself. Yeah, it can go through. And also just really just cordoning off an area and just turning a blind eye while people stab crap. Give me a health inspector, come here. It's not, I'm not doing anything. Essentially, you've sort of, you're just making money off of handing out forks.

Which is not a crime. You can just say, hey, crime off of a... Handy out forks is not a crime. What the people do with the folks after this is there, show me where it says I can't hand out folks. That makes I play. Well, in the background, Krab upon Krab is stabbed in the head back. Whatever the top of the top, I guess.

The top of a Krab. Well, I mean, it's a whole new style of business where you want the minimum amount of investment from yourself. Yeah. And the most amount of money returns. So, you know, like, sometimes it could just be you, all people are buying is something that you whisper in their ears. That's true. Like, you know, you could just be standing near a forest and then somebody walks to you, they give you $25 and you go,

Ron, like the fucking wind. Like that. Excuse me. Ron run like the fucking wind What And they just go God speed God speed minimalist companies Just maybe a gunshot off camera Just maybe a gunshot off camera Every bullet I shoot it's costing me money. I think if somebody said run like the wind and shot me I would be off. I don't know what's happening. I've all run you're the forest until I die I'm not sure what am I being hunted. I can't tell best 25 dollars. I I'm not sure what am I being hunted. I can't tell best $25 I ever spent

More alive Like it's like what what is the company? Well, it's you know, it's a it's kind of an exercise You know gym and sort of like a restaurant nature a little Feed you a drennel. Yeah, you know, I don't know. We don't want to put boundaries on what this is. In many ways, we're not allowed to put boundaries in here because that would technically make us a real business. We're on someone else's farm. Do you still can navigate the law by just having a sign that says $25, but not what it's for?

So that when people give you the $25, you can be like, well, officer, that it's not a crime to give to the party. It's not a crime to pay me for nothing. It's not a crime to have a sign that just says $25 you're Officer. You can't prove this is fraud because there was nothing. There's nothing. I was offering nothing. The special that the sign refers to is nothing.

$25 special, that's nothing. 25 dollars special, that's nothing. It's nothing, they get nothing. But a whisper in the air and a gun shot. That might be the crime. Yeah, I mean, I wonder if, like, if avoiding being accused of a crime is your end game, whether we needed to introduce the whole fire and get gun,

compote it which feels really to be sort of almost tempting to want to find something that you've done This role officer if it's illegal to fire Indiscriminately into the air then take me to see Maybe we That'll be $25. The weapon seems to not be spooking him! In the backseat of the police car, leaning forward to the opposite room, he'll be like,

I'm like the fuck. Just open to the door and bolt him out. That's how you get free. Runs off. That's great. There's so many ways to circumnavigate the law that I never thought of, but I've learned, you know, today. Yeah've learned, you know today. I did do a...

Circumnavigate the law. Not just circumvent. We want to go all the way around the outside of the law without touching it once. Was it a gentleman who was the first to circumnavigate the law? Was it a gentleman? Come back to the fairbite. Was that a joke? Come back to the fairbite. I think in order to truly circumnavigate the law, you would have to evade every single one of the written laws and also all of the common law precedents. You would have to get close.

And that would have worked. It's kind of like my own show. You get close to the crime. Yeah, to see the look. Exactly. Just don't cross it. You take, say, for shoplifting, you take something, you put it in your jacket pocket,

and you look just before the exit of the store and then you turn around and pay for it. You got to just get so close. Is this edging? Is that what edging is? What is edging? Someone must know. Surely to circumnavigate, you commit the crime,

then come back and uncommit the crime. You walk out with the milk that you've stolen, you go home, drink it, then you go back and pay for the milk or you fill it back with your own milk. No, I feel like that's a second cry. Oh, okay. And then you've got to circumnavigate that crime. No, I think it's going to take a while. There are a lot of crimes.

But if I bring a knife close to the heart of a friend, but not into the heart, just so that the tip of the knife is barely touching, have I circumnavied, and then I bring the knife back to throw it on the floor. Now that you say the heart, or like the chest. The chest. Yeah, it took quite a different thing. The heart, I guess it goes into the chest a little bit.

Yeah, say I didn't touch the heart. I didn't touch the heart. Your honor. You can't get me. I circumnet, I've got that one, baby. Also my eyes would closed. Send me close. 50. That'sose, 50.

That's right, yes. Look, I've written down man tries to circumvent the law, but accidentally circumvent the law. And I will allow the mind for now to just drift on exactly how that works. I mean, it's almost like you could just do a law degree. And just sort of go around and find out all law, learn about really all the edges of law and then get back to where you started. If you have a vague understanding of every law that's kind of like circumnavigating the law. Well I think most of us sort of only really

know about the edges of the law. Yeah it's like once you sort of get into the law, that's where it's this great unexplored territory. Unless you just stay outside of the law, I believe you're fine. Unless you take every legal document and read all around the page and then go through that. If you read the front page and the back page, if you've circled and navigated the law. A neat big book of law. If you get on a judge and you say, have you got the law book and have a quick peak, my case is in five minutes. If I could just skim it, it would help me. It's when you do the bar exam, but you only pass the first question in the last question. Did I just call it a bar, right? Like, you just got to get over it. Yeah, that's right

Yeah, and under it and under it, but no and in between yeah, not through you gotta go around the bar Yeah, we all know you got a limbo the bar in a way Matt in many ways passing the bars like a holo Party like a a luau You know, did you say a limber party or a limbo? I said a whole party that are all that's not a thing then realize I meant to say Lui L And I doubled down sure yeah, but you just said something to me that sounded like a limber party Okay, I love that but anyway, let's I'm gonna go we have three words from a listener. Oh great

Oh, all right, we have three words from a listener. Oh great. Oh We have absolutely ripped through it today. This is almost drained nothing from my soul this episode We've got to have you guys on again So look the three words of the you know patreon listener can can patreon listener Is what we refer to them somebody who's contributed three dollars to the patreon as it sends in three words and Sorry that the patreon episodes are coming out late this week. Oh, we got to talk about Harry's Oh, yeah, before we do those letters of course words, right? Which are made up of letters. I wasn't wrong. You can't prove I was wrong

These aliens are not gonna know what Now this is an interesting this is an interesting ad we've been sent from Harry's. Yes. Because I can't help but feel that it's in some way attuned for an North American audience in that it asks us to talk about our plans for the summer. So what are you doing for the summer, Alistair? Well I'm going to be going down to my parents place for Christmas. Oh see that's great. Maybe I be going down to my parents place for Christmas. Oh see that's

great. Maybe I'll go down to my parents place for Christmas. Anyway, I am also going to Alistair's Christmas at parents place. Yeah, you want to come to Texas as well. Yeah, absolutely. The point is a lot of guys buy disposable razors when they travel, but this summer you don't have to sacrifice quality for price. Harry's delivers high quality travel. But this summer, you don't have to sacrifice quality for price. Harry's delivers high quality, travel-friendly, friendly, shaved supplies, at a great low price of just $2 per blade. Right, now, Alistair, I'd just like to give you

the floor for a moment to talk about the Harry's travel case. Oh my God, I use it. I use it even when I'm not traveling. I put it on at the sink like that. And I pretend like my razor is always on a trip. Ah, that's right. And that's a little staycation sometimes. That's right.

That's right. You just put that travel case on there. You just look at that. Maybe you pour yourself a nice glass of something cold. Mm-hmm. Ah, that's like years off your life. And that way. I mean, that year's two, your razor's life.

It'll make you feel years younger. That's right. Or something. Yeah. Anyway, the founders of Harry's War 2, are the guys who are sick of paying too much for over-price raises. I'm still sick of it now. Even though I don't spend that money.

That's right. And, but Harry's is a, you know, a quality durable blade that a fair price, right? And they have 100% quality guarantee, which is if you don't love your shave, let them know, and they'll give you a full refund. Well, that'll never happen. This summer, refresh your wallet, this summer,

this summer, this warm, warm summer, we're having refresh your wallet and your face with a Harry's trial set. It comes with weighted ergonomic handle, for an easy grip, five blade razor with a lubricating wallet and your face with a Harry's trial set. It comes with weighted ergonomic handle for an easy grip. Five blade razor with a lubricating strip and a trimmer blade for a close shave. Love that trimmer blade. Rich leathering shave gel that will leave you smelling great.

I want to be able to eat that shave gel. Harry's you getting touch with me and a travel blade to cover to keep your razor dry and easy on the go. Dry and easy. That's the way I like it. And listeners of our show can redeem their trial set at harry.com-word-slash-thingtank. Make sure you go to harry.com-word-slash-thingtank to redeem your offer and let them know we sent you to help support the show.

Oh my god. Now, the Patreon contributor who has contributed three words today is Mr. Tyrone Elkins. Tyrone! Tyrone! One-up! Yeah! All right. Okay. It's a great name. If you're ready for the, you know,

you're all ready for the words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a bit hyper-conjurek. Mm-hmm. Necrophilia. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Banana.

Oh, okay. Well, I mean, in a way this one writes itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah Banana Okay, well, I mean it in a way this one writes itself. Yeah, yeah, it does it really does because because I mean you know You think about the worst person basically to be a Necrophile Absolutely, you're hyper-conductor because yeah, yeah, what a two conflicting parts of the personality that's right So a phrase to put his genitals in the call in a dead old. Or her genitals. Yeah, yeah.

Get a banana. And somehow works that into the mix. Yeah. Maybe there's something to, yeah. I was like, I guess uses it as their genitals either way. Yeah, I was sort of imagining for some reason

putting the peel over your genitals like a... Well, dare I say that in some... This almost ties into something that we were talking about before the podcast. Sure. Which is our new monkey god religion. Bear with me. Where in the burial ceremony, and you guys all all remember for this... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking about the burial ceremony involves peeling a giant banana, putting your body into the skin of the giant banana,

sowing it up and then pushing it out to sea so that it can be eaten by the monkey god and defecated out and he can throw the feces containing your soul into heaven. Yeah, that's right, absolutely. And that can be for people who, and the people who get buried like this, or the people of this community who are...

Neck or phileax? Neck or phileax. Neck or phileax, and that they love to fuck a dead banana. Sure, yeah, yeah, absolutely. But they're really worried about catching diseases from them. Which is fair, which is so fair. I would be too. I'm not a hyper-conrad, but if I fucked a rotten banana, yeah, I would be concerned for my genital health. I have to just assume there's something going on there.

You look at a dead banana and I'm like, there's just something I know I don't want inside me in that. That's right, yeah. Absolutely, yeah. I think that's the way to go about. I mean, unless they're hyper-conjure acts and they decided to all move away from regular society where diseases are and they move to an island and that has giant bananas that they can be very nice. Good giant banana island. And they are obviously the other thing is that they're all neclohertychrophilia. They just happen to be the only way that they can you know safely have sex with dead bodies is having people who get a clean bill of health who are allowed onto the island.

That's what you have to do to get onto the island. And then when they die, then you know you can safely have sex with the bodies. That's true. What are you using in banana? This is a real hyperconvary act, Necrophiliac navana. That's right. It's a banana navana. Is this something to encasing the dead body in the banana peel in a way of making it

more hygienic to make love to down the track? Or to flavor it in a way is kind of what I was imagining. To get rid of the bad smell of course. Because they would definitely help a lot. Now here's the problem. We know that putting a banana with other fruit causes it to ripen go off more quickly. Is the banana actually gonna speed up the decomposition of the corpse? And if so, maybe that's something you want. I mean, if you like throwing it with a dead body,

yeah, maybe the more dead... Maybe a bit of that putrification is... That's a word, isn't it? Yeah. Maybe though, there's a stress there to cooking the dead body for too long, so that when you peel them on or a skeleton falls out. You're like, I've cooked it. You've already done it. Yeah, unless that's what you want. But then, yeah, but if you want, you want is like really dead and you want like, you know, ultimate decomposition.

More than a little dead. Would it be better to just stick your dick in the dirt? Yeah. Or, you know what, yeah, thanks. Well, we all return to the earth, don't we? Yeah, in a way, if you put your dick in the dirt, aren't you making love to old creatures that have ever died?

I think so, I'm sorry, absolutely. And it's less of a crime as well. And that's why they went to this island. It's an island with soft soil. Yeah, absolutely. And that way as well went to this island. It's an island with soft soil. Yeah, absolutely. And that way as well, for future generations, they can find those little pockets of oil if we still need that. Exactly.

OK. And we got there. And so I believe that is the end of all those ideas. So before we do the song, wait. I'll do it. The song. We'd like to, well, do you take us uh, do you take us through, you take us through the sketches before we do the song? Yeah. Yeah. Right. But also should we mention the, the

show again, the magma revival season? Sure. Right. We're doing it. We're doing an encore season. Three shows only about our, our, our critically acclaimed show magma from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. If you missed it, or even if you saw it, or even if you saw it and missed it, please come again to the show at the Butterfly Club on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd of August. It's going to be ripper. And we might even fix some of the flaws. Yeah, and please trick a large group of people into coming as well. Yes, we don't care how you do it, as long as you trick them.

We once, sir, at last, last comedy festival was great. All right it, as long as you trick them. We won, sir. Last comedy festival was great. All right, everybody, let's say it on. Thank you, sir. It was so good. We had a blast. Unbelieve, very funny. An endlessly kind of view.

No, you guys are way funny. No, no, that is not the case. Okay. This has been distressing much better than most of the other episodes of the podcast. Really, it's demonstrably. Really, because I'm genuinely going to apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Everyone does. Everyone does. Alistair and I, we do a ritual apology to our family. We hug, we cry. It's kind of good for the soul, feel like. You build failure into your life like that. You learn to accept it. Absolutely.

Yeah. All right, so we got aliens finding two guys talking podcasts. You know, it's just, you know, on some USB fossilized. That's the hope. I mean, that's what we're doing this. When people talk about living on through your art, I assume that's what they mean. That someone discovers it in the future and reanimates you.

Otherwise, I'm not interested in that bullshit. Exactly. And so then they try to recreate humanity based on just that. Then we also have sort of based off of this idea is Earth is an alien piss stop. This is in all the gray, the gray, what are they called? Grey no-mads. Grey no-mads, that's right. Grey no-mads, the alien, grey no-mads are coming here and they're just using us as just a piss stopper, you know, or worse. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. A vomit stop. Oh, no, good. Drive by vomit out the window. No, no, no.

That's it. It's not even ailing down. Wrong aileans piling out of the astral, astral. Yeah, astral, astral. No, of a mini-boss or whatever. Yeah, spewing their guts out of you, everyone. Even, you know, just, it's just, it's just stuff that kind of floats into our atmosphere, burns real hot, adds that vomit smell to the entire planet.

They go, not good. I wrote this down because I think that it's actually a good idea of just sketch. It's a war room and they're planning a war. And then one guy's contribution is always, yeah, but maybe that's what they want. And they go, yeah, well, we better not do that. Well, we go, we're glad you're here, Larry. That's why we pay you. We get a, you know, we get a SWAT team in, you know, into the, into the palace,

they'll kill the Sultan. Oh my God, this is the Middle East. I don't know why it would, that sounds like a... You're doing Ciroddox, Eddie? Maybe, yeah. They'll kill the sultan. Oh my god this is the middle east. I don't know why I would. I saw some endering zero-knock 30. Maybe, yeah. They'll kill the sultan and they go, but maybe that's what they want to go. You're right. Maybe we stay here and kill each other. What comes to a standstill because of guys? We gotta, yeah, and we start a group. It's just about infiltrating all war rooms with just one guy who says that.

And that's how we, that's a piece. That's a great one to have like the movie poster with like a Liam Neeson looking in an action pose and the title is the indecisive. And then like that. And there's one guy kind of like from the side going. And then I got all baby.

It's still just the poster for Taken, but we just write the words maybe your miss in front of it. It'll save a lot of money. Marketing budgets are always real big. That's true. Yeah, easy. There are probably plenty of those posters. You just need one guy and some lipstick to go around. And to just update it.

Yeah, just updating all the ones that exist. Exactly, that's cheap. That's so cheap. Now you get cheap lipstick, because I know lipstick could be quite true. Oh, sure, that's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's absolutely true.

I can just get, you know, like, you know, people go around sometimes looking, just picking up like little cigarette spots. But like, you didn't smoke those. But just somebody who does that, goes to different bins and finds all the mostly used lipstick. This, and then that's how we'll see you in the form of it. Apparently still remaining tight and post.

I know we're currently going through the sketches that we have just created, but there's a great sketch there in trying to, knowing that you move these bad so trying to make up the money in cutting from the marketing market. And then you go, okay, we'll just end. So you keep, yeah. What if our ads, what if our ads on TV are just a guy saying,

go see the film that we film in a cafe, something like that. Come on, please. But we still broadcast me the one TV. Yeah. So I still imagine, still, I was just, then we have the landscape self-portrait. This is a world in which hills can paint.

Look, I think it's just a guy. The hills can't hide. So it's probably just a guy taking somebody around a gallery and he's going, now, this is another landscape. Did I mention that these are all self-portraits? That's what's very interesting about these is that these are hills that can paint. Well, we had the idea when we visited

a zoo in Thailand where they're getting elephants to paint. We thought, well, the elephant was painting hills and I thought, what if, I mean, if this is drawing a crowd including me, what if the hills themselves would paint? And we decided to start sticking a paintbrush just into the dirt. Just into the dirt. Guess what happens. I'm not saying they're good.

It's not that they're good, it's that they're doing it at all. That's the notable bar series of blank canvases that are known as post-hill. And that is abstract. And then we have an alternate history. It's just a sketch, it's an alternate history where Leonardo da Vinci was a hill. Yeah, great. So that's kind of good. This is one of those ones that just writes it. Yeah, I like that. There you go.

Oh, yeah. There's Microphone. Yeah, then we got, obviously, there's the Ethics Board sketch. Which by the way, I've noticed, and I've not seen Ethics Board sketch sketches yet. Well, for a podcasts that routinely comes up at least three board room sketches per episode, the fact that we haven't done an ethics board. It's a rich for sketches.

Yeah, rich because then you say it's just psychological, philosophical. Yeah. We're in the meat of the existence. Yeah, it's so low-low. That's where we are. Yeah. Exactly, and so.

And what they're doing is they're, you know, the ethics board sketch for removing the crab legs experiment, seeing what how crabs would do if they could not just walk side to side. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah.

Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. Side to side, so yeah. I know there are crabs could have moved forward and back, but not these ones. One of the ones that count could. You need to be delivering it through puffs of a cigarette.

What if we are? What are these crabs in a disadvantage? That's my question. I want to help them to have their legs broken and then put back, put like proper and like, but not proper for them, but proper for other crabs. I'm willing to break my legs broken and then put back, put like proper and like, but not proper for them, but proper for other guys. I'm willing to break my legs for that. I'll let them eat my legs if that's what it takes.

Yeah. The ethics board of very hesitant until you say you're willing to break your legs for that then they're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it didn't seem fat. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But it didn't seem fair. Then we got the minimalist companies.

These are companies that, you know, we're, we're sort of minimalist entrepreneurs. It's just, you stand on the side of a forest with a son that says $25. You know, it's a little bit like, you know, it's like taking an idea from those. And then they give you the money and you whisper in their ear. But also, I mean, someone's taken by the edge of the forest with a son says $25 I

Mean I want to know You gonna go up to anything's name. Well, I'm sorry. I can't tell you you got to get a high first Yeah, you got to pay your $25 you want to find that human curiol Yeah, so look like if you found that you had $25 cash in your wallet, there is no way you're not doing there's no World in which you don't pay this person. Yeah, and then when they wish for you a run you've already paid the $25 Like I bet You know this guy doesn't have much to lose He's signed

You're like I better get the best out of this sprint. I paid 25 bucks for it I paid 25 bucks for it. You could lose the sign. That'd be pretty bad if you didn't. Man, and then we got man, tries to circumvent the law, but he accidentally circumnavigates it. This is interesting, because really, I think it's sort of a positive world in which the law, where outside the law and the law is sort of an island within,

but really more like the law is around the outside of us. Like we are circumnavigated by the law. That's true. Yeah. Unless you're an international waters where anything goes. That's a good point. In a way, that's where the law, that's if you're going to do it anywhere. I mean, you could just try to state, like like you just try to escape the grasp of all laws. Well I guess then circumnavigating the law is

exactly the same as circumnavigating the world. Was it a gel in the first man's circumnavigating the law? Isn't that what you said? Apparently he actually didn't. But he wasn't definitely entirely. But I think there is still. He died on the trip. Sorry, please. Did you, did you, did you google this while you were doing it? No, I didn't. I just happened to know that he died before he could complete it. I'm looking forward to emails from people being like Adam, your fucking idiot. Oh, yeah, they're gonna email you.

Yeah. Do you want to hear that? Yeah. You're making a personal email. Do you want to give out your personal email? Because to be honest, sometimes it can be hard to get a reaction out of people. If you want to email me, you can't absolutely jackson.bailya.gmail.com.

That's not even me, I don't know. I like how creative your names are for things. Thank you. There's all dogs are dead. That's your Twitter. The skeletons have no butthole is my Instagram. I just can't but that's actually what my name is considered to be an Instagram So where it gave me first and last name I wrote that for some reason. I don't know why

These are things I get in trouble for skeletons have no bottle is which one is the first part? No, it's just a first name no last name like sure Oh, I have no bottle like all one word or like yeah, like sure But is it all one word or all one word? Yeah, it's gonna have no matter all one word like shit like sure. Did she have one name sure? Sure, and then we have of course Sure she does the the Necrophile banana islands. Yeah, which is a sketch that writes itself. Yeah Yeah, you know those those three writes itself. Absolutely, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Those three words, and you already think it over. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. We absolutely deeply appreciate it. Alistair? Yep, where can we find you? Got you fellas. As you asked that I had a big bit of flammon my throat. Could it go on worse than it did? Things looked out for me. Cooperatively you can find us at Sans Fans Radio. Yeah. Although Jackson is as previously said, at all dogs are dead on Twitter if you want to tweet me for whatever reason I'm at retro archetype. Yeah Yeah, what's that about? I

Long time ago when I was coming up with my online handle I googled unusual words and picked to I mean it sounds like an art pop band It really isn't. Yeah, I don't know what I was saying. I was like 16 so. How long ago were you 16? I don't like to think about that. 12 years? 12 years ago.

Congratulations on still being a full. Yeah, that's lucky. Oh my youthful. Yeah, you're youthful. You've got a youthful counter. We're kind of, we're becoming decrepit. No, I think I've hit Haggard. I think it is.

I'm supposed to. And it's all Haggard for me. You think you've hit Haggard? Yeah, I'm fairly sure. It's a feeling, yeah. You can find us, me and Alistair TB. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. And we're at Two Intent.

Two Intent. You can check out the new Illustrated Alistair Twitter account, which is people doing drawings of things Alistair has said on Alistair lists everything. So that's lots. I'm also doing Alistair lists everything as part of Shusher Guided Meditations. Some people, somebody just reviewed the podcast saying that it helps their son with ADHD go to sleep. And I mean I'm like I've never thought I would ever help anybody and I want you to know that that is not someone with ADHD. And I want you to know that I wasn't my goal but it's lovely to think that there's somebody who's getting some kind of benefit out of it. That's incredible. And then there was that other lady who said that she masturbates to the book. And so that's a two-pronged I mean, I mean the breadth of people who are being helped by this podcast So to this podcast, so this I was for no that was from for Shusher guy of meditations

I mean this would be hard to best be it would be hard all that banana stuff Yeah, you kid people you know plunging their penises or vaginas into the dirt I'm eating the for real Pure otis of the their penises or vaginas into the dirt? I'm eating the...for real? Pure eroticism, right there. Yeah. Now you're right. You're right, you're right. You can support us on Patreon, you can also review us, and that makes brings us joy,

both of them do. Yeah. You can also just keep listening, we love that, and I think... You can. And we love you. We love you. Oh, thanks. No problem.

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