Two In The Think Tank - 194 - "GERBILMAGNE"

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

Mystery of the Blue Lagoon, Pizza PR, Alien Out, Taste of Time, The Drones, GerbilHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereCosmic background thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to Two in the Thing Tank. They're sure where we come up with five sketch ideas. I mean, I do kind of want to do one episode, but the song just never ends, right?

So, like, people as they're listening are just just being like, well, it must end soon, because they must always be thinking that when we do it, they must be thinking, well, this is, at least this is over soon. Thinking and hoping. And hoping, right. But then eventually, like, you get more people, they're longer, they stick around, they're more like, well, I can't, I can't just delete the podcast and burn my phone now. I've come this far. And what if there are words coming up so that I can make it all worthwhile? But then we just, we never do.

The sketch idea was wasting their time. I mean, we were playing with fire. I mean, you know why? It was very much the central premise of the podcast. But I mean, you could come up with sketch ideas in the form of music and the language of music. See that's a challenge that we could really like you know causes to go to new and interesting places creatively. Peter the Wolf. That was a sketch that... Peter the Wolf. Peter and the Wolf. Or just Peter the Wolf. That's a new one I'm doing.

It's a sequel. Oh sorry. It's a sequel to where Peter becomes the wolf. Yes, because it was the hunt for the wolf that drove him to madness. Mm-hmm. And in doing so, he was forced to commit such atrocities that he eventually himself became the wolf. I think that's very good, I think. The hunter becomes the wolf. The even more hunter-like

person. Exactly. The hunter becomes another hunter, but this time he has claws. And fur. And he's a wolf. Take his name as Peter. He's still Peter. But you wouldn't give normally to a wolf. is Peter. He's still Peter. But you wouldn't give normally to a wolf. I can't. I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, you know, because of course, once you give a wolf a name, a human name, you know,

everybody knows the wolf's name. And then you come into town, there's a wolf coming and you're the boy who cried, Peter, Peter. And nobody's going to, you know, this is not a good way to raise the alarm. People won't know whether to be terrified or to put the kettle on. That's right, that's right. That's right. They think there's a person in the town,

you know, villages, especially small villages. They each have their own job, their own role. There's no supermarkets at this point. So everybody is responsible kind of for one thing. Yes. They think there's one person whose job it is to keep putting the kettle on when a new person, thing with a human name. Thing with a human name is a great category because it contains almost exclusively people, humans, but then just around the edges there's a few

outliers. I'm thinking... Alexa? Alexa. What a great example. Yeah. And then there's also Peter, the rock spice or whatever it is. It's like someone between a rock and a spice, isn't it? Yeah, salt, salt, Peter? Yeah, salt, Peter. Yeah, what is that? Something, I think you use it to make dynamite. Am I right? I think it's where worksplosive started.

Right, salt, Peter. Gun powder, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's a salt, Peter, maybe it's a, maybe it's a kind of a spice or a mirror or something. Yeah, it's like it's somewhere between a rock and a spice. That's where salt is, right? Salt. That's what the salt is getting you there.

Must be. Yeah. I mean, it could be, yeah, I mean, there's a sodium or the potassium or something in it. Hmm. It gets the saltiness. Well, that's probably also where some of the explosiveness comes from. Yeah, we can eat sodium. You can separate it from it.

Shut up. We can eat sodium chloride. Yeah. It's the first time I've ever told you to shut up. Oh, I doubt that's the case. But it's going to be worthwhile because what I've about to say is going to be so instantly and inherently funny, LSD.

It's just going to ride itself, honestly. So salt. When we talk about salt, when we talk about table salt, we are, of course, talking about sodium chloride. That's right. One sodium, one chloride, in an ionic bond. Right. But a chemist, a salt is any chemical combination of a metal and a non-metallic element. That's right. Now salt just happens to be one that's edible and that is

good to taste. Now, what I want to know is what are the other salts? And what are the taste like? Right, how many of them are poisonous? Okay, get those off, but I want every single one that isn't poisonous, I want that in a grinder on my kitchen bench. Right, and I want to be able to chuck a combination of 10, 20, 30 different salts. Yeah, but I also, every single different type of salt, I want there to be a Himalayan version.

Yes. I want there to be a Murray River. Murray River. And I want them all to be different colors. And I want one of them to be iodized, right? Even if the iodine is already in the salt because it's one that has iodine in it I want to juxtamore iodine in it. It's like potassium

Iodinium or whatever. Perfect. Iodin. I think I think you would need sodium Iodite or something like that. Why is that? Well because it's a metal and a non-metal so the potassium is a metal and sodium Oh, sorry potassium. Yeah, all right. All metal. Insodium. Oh, sorry, potassium. Yeah, all right. All right, I'm sorry, Alistair. That's okay. No, I mean, yeah. Everyone, don't worry about that.

I had a stroke. I had a control over. Right? So I'm now, but I want you to know that I'm sitting here in my shit in my piss, but I didn't actually make a mistake about potassium. And so I still have my dignity. Yeah, great. You know, they say that when you die, your bowels release and you're shitting your piss, but also you make a mistake about potassium.

And when you call it a non-metal. Non-metal. Yeah. Even though it's up there is one of the first methods. One of the first. Yeah. You know, ever, probably ever, even made, right? Iron oxide is a salt.

Iron oxide. Rust is a salt. Oh my God. Yeah. This is a game changer Alistair. This is the scientist. Would you like some salt on your on your pasta? Excuse me, what's this? There appears to be like rust rusty nails on my on my pasta. Yeah, well technically, Scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge, scrooge you want it. That's right. You know. Why would the scientist blame himself? It was an idiot. No, no, no, he was a scientist. Once again, I was deliberately making that joke. Oh, it's just, it just so happened that I had a secondary clock.

Made it's way. He did the very lizard hind cerebellum of my brain calls me to shit and piss myself again, right? And also I ejaculated to my pets and called the teacher mum, if I did my shit and piss and say, oh, I like this, this is good. And then also. Oh, I'm really embarrassing, I'm talking about that. Yeah, well, but then, but then too. I guess ejaculating, you can't accidentally make the scientist an idiot character in this

sketch. No, but I mean, I guess the ejacling part is like, you're not an idiot for saying that that's nice. Ha ha ha ha ha. I've at least said he'd over here, and he enjoys orgasms. Yeah. What a fool. He's made of himself.

Is there a solution? When I accidentally called that nice, what, he didn't realize. Ha ha ha ha ha. Well, I said that that was wrong, that I said that it was nice. I was, it was a result of result of a pulmonary embolism. What is that?

It's not a sketch where people, it's like, it's a scenario where people don't realize that orgasms are good because they've only just heard about them. Which if you don't want it to be like teenagers, adults. Yeah, they're adults, but they're Mormon. Oh, that's not good. There's still Mormons, there's still people. They're like still- In many respects, that's it.

But it's like it's like people who live, let's say in a different kind of society, it's a bureaucratic society. Are. Yes, to foreign, but they're just like us and that they left. It was like people who lived on a common with your parents. They're just like us, except they left. Yeah, they're just like us, but they left to another island

that we just discovered that they discovered. Yes. And it's very much a blue lagoon scenario again. Which I think is what I go to anytime. I'm trying to find a culture of people that I can't insult. But I don't want to... It's not... It's a blue lagoon.

So these are parents who live in a common with your parents. Yes. And then they left with their kids and they had three kids. And then all they had old stars. Or no, they had... Before I had a chance to touch their kids. They had three kids. And then all the adults died. Oh no, they had a chance to touch the kids. They had 10 foster children. Okay.

Right, right. And then they all went over to this island and then the parents died. Okay. And then the foster kids became adults. Yes. And they never learned about ejaculating, but then a boat was going by.

And it said, and somebody on a loudspeaker said, ejaculation is a thing. And it's when, you know, something, orgasm happens, and then there's a ejaculate comes out like that. A discharge. Yeah, discharge, and then when and then they took off. That's actually, that'srrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and they go, they're all laughing and he goes, no, it was actually quite nice to go, ah, you idiot, it's not, and they all don't think it's gonna be nice. Yeah, right. Is that a sketch? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Who says political correctness is in any way cumbersome? Well, gets it away.

I think it's the restrictions that allow you to be more creative. Yes. It's so much creative. It's not allowed to say anything funny. That's what makes it funny. That's not the case at all. No, sorry, I understand.

No, well, you know that's not what I believe. I just want people to know that's not the case at all. No, I'm sorry, I'm a stepp. No, well, you know that's not what I believe. I just want people to know that's not what I believe. And you had an aneurysm. It's what it is. OK, so is there a sketch with people who don't know about on orgasms? And then they make fun of people who have had them. Well, what about it's people who don't know about orgasms

and then don't know what they're for, right? And don't know what the various forms of ejaculation are for, and so they're trying to find that out. So they're trying to work it out. A page from one of those like sex ed books floats up onto the beach, but it's just the part about what ejac- orgasms and ejaculating is. Yes, but with no context. Yeah. And then somebody has one.

Yes. An ejaculation. Well, they managed to achieve on, using following the instructions on the page. Yeah. So, and then everybody makes fun of them. No, but why do they have to make fun of them, right? Because if we're following my thought process of like...

I've said anything yet. What's your thought process? They don't know what they're for, right? And so they're trying to work it out. Now, you're trying to use the orgasm and the ejaculation for different things, right? Like, it's probably about enough momentum to really effectively knock over, say, a little tower house made of cards. Like a tower of leaves.

Or a tower of leaves. Because they would have appropriate to the... Well, maybe they had some cards. Maybe they would have washed up with the paint. They would have house made of meat of coconuts. Yes, okay. And then they probably make a lot of things that are coconut fur.

Well, they try... Oh, man, you know, they could try and use it for a glue. Or something like that, right? And then that's what it Well, they're tried, oh, men, you know, they could try and use it for a glue or something like that, right? And then that's what it is. It's the process of trying to, you know, experiment, using the technology, both the discharge method. It is like a little hot glue gun kind of thing you got going on, at least from the male

genital perspective, right? And you're experimenting, is it for craft? Is it for, I mean, could it be used to feed insects? And is that something that maybe we did on the main line? And that maybe they could use it to attract insects so that they could eat the insects. Sure. You know, like the angle of fish. That's right, it uses its light.

And in many ways, this is our light. It's certainly mine. Remember when we used to think that crust was good pizza? Remember that brief period of time when crust pizza shops opened up and I was like, look at this gourmet pizza. And it felt like it felt like for me that period lasted about three weeks before it was like you're referring to the brand the brand The brand that we have here. Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry. Let's put this in context. No, we're very much in a blue lagoon type scenario here in the island We've developed our own things Like pizza. Yeah, yeah, cross is like a sort of it's a chain, right?

Sort of like a pizza hut, but they just put more shit on the pizzas and there's a lot of drizzling. I feel like they drizzle a lot of stuff on the pizza. That's their secret to making it look fancy. Yeah, they should really call it drizzle, but they've called it crust. Yeah, but then there was also a phase of time where we just thought like, thick base. That's what's good about pizza. Yeah. Like pan.

How could we be so wrong about that and pizza? I remember when mom used to make pizzas the bases was so thick. Yeah, I was like a loaf. What is going on? I mean who wants to eat that much bread? I've even heard the people who talk about deep dish pizza in Chicago That that's just a tourist thing because it's they're famous for that But all the people who know anything about pizza in Chicago, that that's just a tourist thing because they're famous for that. But all the people who know anything about pizza in Chicago, they only, you know, stuff with barely any crust whatsoever. This is what you gotta do if you're a city, right?

You've gotta come up with a new dumb way of making pizza, right? And then you just gotta all agree in the city that like we'll tell people from elsewhere that we really like it. And then when they come here, they'll be like, I've gotta try some of this. I've gotta what Melbourne could do. How about this?

Upside pizza. Upside pizza. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. So we start, you get a pan out. Like, or is it like pizza dish thing? Yes.

It's shallow, first of all. I want you to know that. Oh yeah, shallow. But then we will also have. Not shallow, but. We will actually have deep dish upside pizza. Yeah, okay. But that'll be thick cheese on the bottom.

Like that. Like, nobody wants the base really thick. But similarly, no one really wants the topping really thick as well, do they? Well, maybe. I mean, have you ever had a meat lover? That's pretty thick. I don't know. I mean, it's been so long since I had a meat lover. Was it sausage last thing? I don't know. You've kind of had a few meats along the way. I've had a few meat along the way, but like not a meat lover's pizza, I think that would be yeah. But if somebody made you a meat lover and made like you ordered a vegetarian and then somebody accidentally

made you a meat lover's. You would go, oh, well, I better eat this because I'm probably oh, thank God. I have a moral license. Yeah. Naya duty. Naya and obligation. So that the, you know, the the meatballs didn't die in vain. The various animals to make that made these sort of sausages and meatballs. The veritable manashery. The veritable Noah's Ark of Adibles. Look what it to these little meatballs. Here's one. Is anyone doing this? Pizza ball. It's a full sphere of dough.

And the pizza is all just around the outside. Yeah, okay, but how about this? Upside, deep to ball. Yeah. Okay, but how about this? Upside, Deezer Ball. Yes. Yes. So it's like a reverse calzone. It's pizza on the outside, but just a ball of dough on the inside. What did you say?

Upside Deezad, sir. Ball. I thought you were just suggesting exactly mine, which was a pizza ball. But you just taken it and turned it up the other way. So it's indistinguishable. But no, it's still a new thing. It's still a new thing. It's a, what we do is we make a pizza ball, but then before we give it to you, we turn

it upside down, up the other way. That's the thing that we do is we make a pizza ball, but then before we give it to you, we turn it upside down, not the other way. That's the thing that we do, that's a little twist. Literally, that's how twist that we put it on. It's a twist. We actually have a machine that doesn't hear. It's got the twist. Look at that. Automatic twist, I look.

So this is a company that advises cities on how they can, how they can, like, you know, get more people to their city and stuff like that. And all their ideas are based on... Every single one is a novel. Novel way of dealing. I think it beats a ball, right? And it's what it is. It's... It's beats a cook in a wok. Oh, sure. Yeah. No, you're exactly right, though, Alistair. The bass itself is baked into basically a ball, right? And then it is filled up with topping.

Whoa! And you eat is filled up with topping. Whoa. And you eat the topping with a spoon. Oh yeah. And then at the end, you throw away the bowl. No, they have a tradition where you put the bowl on your head and take a bunch of photos in a Polaroid camera, you stick them to the wall and you say, I got bold.

Yeah, or you wear it on your back like a turtle? Yeah. And then some other people come and try and like hunt you for the The meat for the meat inside your skin so they pull off your shell So they can get at your organs and stuff like that which is pepperoni and things like that I think it maybe we've come up with something that's a little bit like this once before But I think this is this is quite a novel take on it, right? What it is and before, but I think this is quite a novel take on it. Right. What it is. And, Alison, I'm just basically going to re-describe your idea. Right. But what we are doing is we are

making a fully baked dough crusty shell. Mm-hmm. And, you know, it's sort of a waffle cone style thing. So it looks like the shell of a turtle. Yeah. We fill that up with cheese and stuff. We bake another, it's, you know, like, looks sort of like almost like a huge pie. Yeah. And then there's shoulder straps and that's strapped onto your back. Right. And then you, this is eating at the beach. Yeah. Right. You crawl slowly up the beach and then everyone else has dressed as foxes. And they go, I love that. And you got a whole lot of eggs. You put a whole lot of eggs up your ass. Oh really? Yeah.

Because you want to lay those eggs into a hole. Could they be cheetos? Yeah. Sure. Or they could be or they could be upside-deets-es. I mean, upside-deets-es fears. The upside-deets-es fears in that they're don't inverse upside-down, the deets-es squares.

Squares? Yeah. Whatever. The ones with the dough on the outside? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you could line the inside of your anus with like a garbage bag or something like that. Oh, that's just that. Just so that people can

just read it. When your ball falls into the sand. I can't stress this enough. This is not a sexual thing in any way. No, no, no this enough. This is another sexual thing in any way. No, no, no. This is just a mealyx. Not the way kink shaving. If you want to do this for a sexual thing,

of course you can and we do that on Friday nights, there's a late night thing when you come and you do it and it's kinky. Yeah, sure. This is a family restaurant. It's at the beach. Everyone likes to eat things that are fallen into the sand. Everyone likes to rip in dresses of fox and rip into the back of a beloved uncle or aunt.

Yeah, that's right. And then you dig through the young, the young... I think it, you know, pizza toppings would be a good sort of Well, cuz it's like shoot for the kind of fleshy entrails the back of the person is like the adults table and the big hole in the sand filled with little Upside-dita balls Excrated from the out of from the adus the plastic bag and the plastic bag really they've just come straight from the plastic bag Right like when you get when you carry food home in the car in a plastic bag. Like when you carry food home in the car, in a plastic bag, you don't say the food has been in the car.

You say it's been in a bag. Yeah, you say it was in a bag. You didn't say, oh, this was inside, oh, was that food just inside your dirty car? It doesn't matter how dirty it is in a bag. It doesn't matter what it is in a bag. It's in a plastic bag. Yes, it's been in the A-tis. Yeah, it doesn't matter how good it is in a bag. It's a plastic bag. Yes, it's been in the A-tus. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

There's plastic in between it. And if you were to be concerned about that, then you'd also have to be concerned about all the drugs that you take. You know, all the illicit drugs that are brought into the country inside people's various orifices. And you don't see people worried about that. Nobody seems worried. Oh. That mean you see people who are anxious because they haven't had their drugs. But not usually they're not anxious while when they're having them.

When they have them. Unless they have a bit too much. No, then you're right. Some of them do seem a bit anxious. Yeah, but they're not anxious about the thing about their drugs being in an illness. Sometimes they're anxious to have more. Exactly. The cycle continues.

Lute. Yes. Yeah, so they, is that a separate idea then or is it the... I mean, is that a... I mean, it feels like one idea that they bring to a beach town. You're right. You're right. And that's when they're sort of scraping the bottom of the barrel. And by the way, that's another one that they've come up with.

Okay, it's a full barrel, right? Made of dough. But the toppings are only at the very bottom of the barrel, the dough barrel. And you get a really long spoon and you scrape the bottom of it. You know, and you get whatever it is there. Yeah. And like people talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel like it's a bad thing.

But if you ever like scraped the bottom of a frying pan for like a little bit of cheese or something like that, almost almost all the time. Those are the best bits. What's what's that process or something like that. Almost all the time. Those are the best bits. What's that process? You're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Oh good. What's that process? Deglasing.

Oh, deglazing. Yeah. You could deglaze the bottom of the barrel. Get all that flavor. That's where all the flavor is. Scraping it. No, deglazing it. Yes.

That's fine. Let's turn this scrape into a deglaze. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, get it into some like nice hot sand, like that. You know, so the heat is distributed evenly under the barrel like that. Get that water in there boiling and get that out. Pour it into like a wine glass so that you can just drink all the flavor. Just drink that. Oh, barrel flavor. Yes. That's why you barrel, you know, like used barrels.

You use them for flavoring other things. Well, what point does a can become a barrel? A can? A can because surely a small barrel is a can. Oh, yeah, because I really think of a metal barrel. I've been thinking about wood barrels. You think of wooden barrels? Yeah. No, you're not, you're not trying anything up in a wooden barrel. Well, that's why I put it in the sand, so the heat was evenly distributed like that. Right. I get it. Rather than being a hot metal thing,

it's a rocky thing. It's more natural. When they put wine in a wooden barrel, is it literally just wine wood? And that's it? And it doesn't leak? It doesn't leak. There's nothing in there. It still doesn't make sense to me that barrels work.

There's no glue. There's not sealing the inside with wax or you think they're tired or some shit. Do you think they do that thing where they they make one plank of wood and then they make a little bit stick out in the middle of the plank and then in the next plank of wood there's a little little you know what that's called.

What's that? Tongue and groove. Tongue and groove. Yeah. That sounds like sounds like something does doesn't Arale make makers would put in yeah Yeah, well, I think a lot of it's that met those metal bands though, right? Lot of it comes in that's holding it together the coops right but it's not just holding it together Right because I think what you do is you heat those things up real hot you put them over the barrel

You know let them cool down and they pull it in like they actually tighten and that maybe that's it. But still it just seems so hard. Yeah, it doesn't seem like that. But I mean, what is it, how long it's back in the day? How long it'll take them to make one barrel? I'm imagining five years for a single barrel. But think about it, this is what all boats were based off of as well. Yeah. It's just boat boating. You're right. You're right. I hadn't thought about that. This works with boats. It keeps water out.

For some reason, seems to me more plausible that you could keep water out with this than that you could keep water in. Sure, I can. I'll give you that. Yeah. Keep water in. I don't think so.

I mean, does he still seems like that is more plausible? Yeah. Thanks. But I guess because there's only a certain amount of liquid in the barrel, whereas the amount of water splashing onto your barrel from the outside, it seems like it could be infinite. Mm.

You know, because it just keeps going over time, as long as the barrel lives, there could be more new liquids. The liquid on it. Water never sleeps. It's that enemy you know you don't want to have. You know that's why those aliens and signs made such a big mistake coming here to earth

if they were sensitive to water. Because water is our greatest ally, but it's also the greatest enemy and he never sleeps. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive?

Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount is not available in all states and situations. And it is a he.

Is this War of the Worlds? Signs. Signs. Yeah, right. So it's always some little thing, isn't it? That's fucking aliens. Well, well, you got to have... Have we talked about this on the show before?

I think so. And it came all the way across. Yeah. It turns out we're allergic to... Numbers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just wrote a science fiction show. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I just wrote a science fiction show.

Sorry. Oh, no. I mean, it's like you need like a hard, quick out. No, turns out, yeah. I shouted to start. We started doing the countdown to like the end of the world. And then when we started doing the countdown, it was the numbers that made them all dark,

because they're allergic to numbers. This is a good thing. We got to make variations on war of the world and signs of dumb shit that could kill aliens so that you can still rewrite the same story. Yeah, over and over again, here's another one, right? They were allergic to almost achieving victory. It turns out that it was only when they had almost achieved victory that we realized that they couldn't, that that was what killed them. And they'd

thought of everything except for the possibility that they might be allergic to almost achieving victory. Because they're planning heroes. That's one of their main thing, this alien race. They're planning heroes, but they've never gone to war for an entirety. You know, they've actually tried, this was their first planet, they were trying to invade. And was it great success? What was it that they...

Almost a cheese of Invictory. Great success. I would never use that kind of word economy, Alistair. No, no, no. When I can stick an extra word in there, I will. That's me. That's the little thing about me. You know, I feel like I had something earlier about scraping the bottom of the barrel. And I want to go back there just for a second and revisit whatever that was. Scraping the bottom of the barrel.

I asked you a great question about when does it can become a barrel? I think God, that's such an interesting question. That's really gonna interest Alistair. It's almost philosophical in some way. And I could see his eyes, I could see his eyes light up with a certain darkness. Yeah.

That, ah, your eyes lit up like a shadow. Yeah, I really sparked some dark in ya baby. Sparks some dark. Sparks some dark. Oh, I almost had it again. God damn it! It's fine, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, but I would just say that a little,

or something, okay, if anyone's, if nobody's doing this, it's basically, and I'm sure somebody's done this. You know how we have, like for solids, you have cans where you got that ring pull and you pull open the whole lid, right? And then when it comes to drinks, we just have the little tsh, one. Give me a drink where you pull open the whole lid,

and I drink the, like rip off the top, like it's can of beans, and then I drink out of like, like rip off the top like it's can of beans. Yeah. Right? And then I drink out of it like an open can. Yeah, that's a great idea. I think that'll be a thing. Like somebody, you could, you could absolutely get somebody on board with you or whatever you, it's a, it's a more, it feels more manly, you know?

And, you know, and the drinks are a bit thick. Mmm. Cheese drink. It's basically soup, but we call it drink. Yeah, no big. It's a sweet soup. It's a sweet soup. Are there only sweet soups?

I guess custard is a sweet soup. Mmm. I mean, what about pumpkin soup? That's not sweet. That is sweet. No, it's not. It's quite sweet. No, it's not.

If you ever had pumpkin? Yes. And I make a lot of pumpkin soup, but I would never once considered it to be sweet. Pumpkin soup is absolutely sweet. Okay, well it's interesting and I just, you know, if you're out there and you're listening to this, I guess you probably have your own opinion about exactly how wrong our ulcer is. And just like, you know, let us know. So, tweet in, if you think he's totally wrong, maybe send in the number one. And if you think he's utterly wrong, what? We send in the number 10. So, we'll just get a feeling of what will be sent in the number 10? So we'll guess what we just get a feeling of what people think at that. Pumpkins are sweet. No, that's not true. Well, yeah, you

you're a cook pumpkin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cook it, eat it, yeah, yeah. So then you cook it and then you eat it and you go, oh, that's quite sweet. Oh, yeah, no, sometimes almost like I know, I know, I'm still talking about that. And then, and then I suppose you would just cook it in some like a big pot, you know, with some with and some coconut milk or whatever you do to make your pumpkin soup. And then all that sugar that's in the pumpkin, that would just go away. That just goes away. And then you're eating it. It's really dry soup.

You know, like dry isn't, you know, in the way a wine is drying, that it's not sweet in any way. That's right. Yeah. I guess that's how it works with your new house. It's amazing how you're able to summarize exactly what I think can feel in such an effective way without having to use sarcasm, which is the lowest form of wit. Do you think when a can becomes a size of like a paint can, then it's closer to a barrel, or do you think it's not a barrel? It still sounds like a can to me. The way that you use the word can so many times to describe it then sort of gave it away for me.

I don't think that would be a barrel. Two paint cans in there. But then I think you could have a little barrel, one of those little barrels of oil. Maybe a keg is in between. Anyway, this isn't, this probably isn't as interesting a conversation, but it's not as like it is.

But do you think that, do you think, somebody could write a dissertation on that? Do you think? I think you could do it out of spy. Do you think that there's anything you might idea of a cans that you just open like, like that, like that? Well, you know, there's a soft drink here.

Is it lift? Yeah, there's one called lift. And it would talk about, was it that one that would talk about about having a big hole or solo? Solo. So you can slam it down faster. Yeah, low on Fizz so you can slam it down faster. Yeah, but also a big hole.

Big hole. Had a big hole. Well, think about how fast you can slam it down. I mean, you could do this with beer. I mean, I guess it just makes it a glass. Yeah, but I mean, that's sort of- But it's like a can, you could do this with beer. I mean, I guess it just makes it a glass. Yeah, but I mean, that's sort of- But it's like a can, you can skull. Mm.

You don't need to like poke the bottom with a key. You don't need to. No. That's the thing that you need to do. If you're, and if you're having a boat race, yeah. You ever have a head-of-boat race you would did engineering. Yeah.

So, I don't know if I ever actually did it myself. Did it be a bomb once? Did you? Yeah. Oh, beer bomb, yeah. Beer bomb, yeah. Well, you've not a real bomb. No, no, no, we've never done that.

But did it be a bomb once? Maybe in year 12? Yeah, really? No, it doesn't seem right. But also the beer was so bad back then. So it was quite like a... I think this is the thing for kids growing up these days, drinking beer and being like,

oh, this is an enjoyable experience. They don't understand that only, I'm gonna say eight years ago, the idea of beer tasting good in any way had just never occurred to anyone. Like you wouldn't even think that that was possible or. There was one that was some that tasted less bad than others. Well, that's what we thought.

I mean, yeah, I guess relatively speaking, that did taste less like, and I don't know if this is actually the case, but stiller, stiller a toa. That used to be a beer that was like, Oh, this is a fancy beer. I'm gonna spend maybe twice as much in order to get this beer. If I were to drink that now, I'd be like, oh, this is also disgusting. They just, everyone had lowered the bar so much.

Collectively, there was some sort of anti-competitive thing going on amongst all breweries. They'll be like, look, as long as nobody makes a beer that tastes good, no one will ask any questions or expect us to have a good tasting beer And then some jerk came along with a little craft brewery and was like and a bit of imagination What if what if they did to dream, you know, and And here we are Anyway, dare to ruin it for the big brovers Yeah, Jim Brewer

Have we talked about alcoholic solids in the past? Probably have. Oh, not sure. But probably the closest you get at the moment is one of those little chocolate lakurs. Where it's like a bad quality chocolate in casing a small bad quality alcohol. But we could do that. I think you could totally make this work in a savory universe where you have something that's kind of like that goes well with a deep fried kind of like chip or something like that or some kind of meaty.

You know those seafood sticks? You know, it's always got like miscellaneous things in it. It's like, you know, it's just like, it's one of those seafood sticks. You know, it's always got like miscellaneous things in it. It's like, you know, it's just like, it's one of those seafood sticks that's just like white with the red thing on the side. You don't really know what's in there. You made as well put alcohol in there. Yeah. Yeah, well, but it's also, like, but I'm wondering if you could make it so that it's like,

it's encasing it so that the alcohol is still liquid inside, right? No, you don't, I think you're talking about a... I know I should solve it. I know I should solve it, but I'm thinking like, if you have... You're just looking for a bottle you can eat. Well, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, a bottle you can eat. Like, like, what's something that... Like a dumpling or something like that.

There's still like a little bit, not liquidy on the inside, but... Like a gel. Like a gel. Jello shots. Yeah, right. Like a gel. Jello shots. Yeah, right. Like a dumpling with Jello shots inside. Okay, so what it is is we get beer right and we put jelly in it.

Jelly powder like just non-flavored gelatin. Right and we turn the beer into a jelly. Yeah. Right and then we put that inside like a sort of a potato-based chip type exterior and then we deep fry that. And now you basically have an entire evening in a single little edible, biteable thing. Do you see this catching on? But I mean, wouldn't it be better to know, better to like, or, you know,

interesting, interesting to kind of really go further and like, just get it into like, you know, what if you could just get a steak or, you know, a tofu or like, it's all like that and it's just got alcohol throughout it. And so you could eat, let's say, a red curry. Mmm, and be drunk. And then be drunk by the end of it. You know, you're saving time, you're not having to consume as much liquid. Yeah, yeah, fewer hand movements, right?

Because if you're taking a bite and then taking a sip, right, that's doubling the hand movement. That's wear and tear on the elbow. You gotta think about that, right? Each time, I mean, you've only got, you know, was it like 18 billion heartbeats in your lifetime? You've probably only got a couple of, I'm sorry. Billion times you can lift your hand up to your mouth.

And you got to think about your carbon footprint, you know, the amount of effort that you're putting in, those calories that you're using up, lifting drinks to your mouth, when if you're going to be eating a red curry anyway, or sort of a beef goulash, or a calzone, or a ham sandwich. Yes, Alice, exactly, not totally.

Then you may as well have them be infused with a session's worth of alcohol of alcohol now here's a new idea That is kind of like that right and what this is is that edible oxygen It's actually quite good. I keep going with yours, but over the course of a year you eat All different types of foods at all different times of day. You drink all different types of liquids at all different times of day. But I think over the course of each year, what we should do is, every time you eat or drink something, you should take a couple of little drops or morsels of that and you put it into a little thing on your hip,

which deep fries freezes it instantly and preserves it perfectly, right? So you take a little sample of everything that you put into your body, right? And then at the end of the year, you take that little, that like cache of little tiny samples, right? You blend that all up, right?

And then you've got yourself at exact, like, average, of what that year tasted like, right? And then you can offer, like, like, sharing a playlist of your favorite songs or something, you can give that to people in your life to taste. And you say, here's a taste in my 2015. This is what 2015 tasted like for me. And you can put that in a little time casual,

bury it for 50 years. Exactly. Yeah. And you can put that in a time casual, bury it for 50 years. Exactly. And then people from the future couldn't taste that if it's still good and say, this is what the average year used to taste like. The taste of the year. The taste of 2015. You know, if people were to generally, if people are trying to come up with a dish or something like that, to that sums up a year. It might be something some sort of buzz food like poke balls or something like that. But no, this is accurate. This is scientific and statistically meaningful. But colorarily, not me at all. And impossible to derive anything from.

But I think it would be interesting to taste that and to see if there were any flavors that jumped out at you. Sure. And that wine, sure. And that might give you some kind of a little sense of like, what is my life about, right? Or like viewed from the outside on like a longer time scale

What are the things because not necessarily everything's gonna come to you? But then also you know 10 20 30 years down the track you go back you have a little sample of 2015 Mate might all come flooding back to you sure like a Allah rest sure should do Tom per do, you know a bloody proust It's all I'm saying. Say it again. A la Ressierche du Tom Per-do. Correct. Is that right?

Well, look, I'll say it the way that I would say it, but... Well, all right. No, I mean... But not to say that that's the correct line. I'm not saying it's the correct line, because I have a thick accent. I mean, I've been told I have a bit of an accent as well as there so it's all right. You go. You have a try.

I love research. It's a tough one. That's very nice. That's good. And so we all have different ways of doing things. That's fine. But I didn't, you know, I always forget that. And, because this is also, this is like an app that people do.

People do this thing, but they take a second of video every day and that kind of thing. And then they play at all, you know, and it's like instead of having a diari, you're just like, oh yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like that, but all at once and in your mouth. Oh, yeah. So I'm just gonna sketch, I don't know. I think it is, I think it is, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're selling it, it's a summary. You know, it's your culinary summary of any time you choose to be. Summary or a lily. Summary or a lily. That's when you do it with the one with wine. It's your culinary summary of any time you choose to be. Sommel-leery. Sommelery, or... That's when you do it with the wine. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, you probably could do that at one of those spatoon things,

where everyone spits out the wine after they taste it. I mean, that's almost built into it. You just have a little sip of that spatoon, and you'd be like, here's what yesterday tasted like for everyone on average. How would you... Plus some saliva. How, with this idea and the summary of everything everything you mean, what would you think would be some

of the key funny points in the sketch? I think, you know, maybe all people trying it and have the reactions that they have to it, that sort of thing. I think it could go wrong for them in some way. I think it absolutely go wrong for them in some way. I think it absolutely could. Yeah, you know, the fact that they've only recently introduced the freezing element. Sure, yeah. You know, we had a lot of feedback from people who were saying, like, I had no idea that

2013 and tasted so much like rotten food. Yeah, it was so spoiled to see. It was so furry. It was, yeah, it was funny. No, you're right. Damn. How many schitch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- one's back and it sort of tickles the hairs that's on their shoulders. The erect head. And that ha- that- that breeze came from a dragon flying overhead. But not- not a mystical dragon.

The dragon is a new thing, which is delivery drones, which are a new hellscape that we live in, where we have to live with the sound of... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of a horror movie. Exactly like that. Oh. Oh. It's what other ones kind of sound like, right? Is that from the blades cutting through the air? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's very good.

Is it a some way that we could make a movie called Deliverance, right? Oh. It's basically the movie Deliverance, but somehow it's got drones in there as well. What's the story of Deliverance? Two guys, two, three guys go on like a canoeing trip down a river, but then they canoe capsizes somewhere in the mountains, and there's a whole lot of hillbillies there,

and then I think they get quite brutally sexually assaulted by the hillbillies in the woods. It's really quite a full-on. Yeah, but why is one of them wearing that weird leather vest or whatever? Look, on the Wikipedia pages that I've read, they don't, they were, there wasn't a heading weird leather vest. Like as a, like, a- That he references that he's playing. That doesn't seem like an ideal kayaking kind of Account explainer. I haven't seen the film. I've only read Wikipedia pages about it

And maybe watch the trailer and then I've watched that little video of the playing the dueling band Just watch that a lot. Yeah, well Feels like the plot doesn't really line up that much with like delivery drones No, but the name almost does, doesn't it? But we could just, I mean, what if it's a film, you're based on this new technology that these people are bringing in and they seem pretty excited about it. And people seem excited about it. But maybe the people who are running the thing are the first ones to realize how awful it

is. Well, I mean, that's kind of like what's happened with the, and maybe this is a reference are the first ones to realize how awful it is. And so... Well, I mean, that's kind of like what's happened with the... And maybe this is a reference you're already doing, but with like social media and iPhones and that sort of thing, where apparently Steve Jobs just wouldn't let his kids have... have them. Yeah, I wonder whether that's true, but...

You're right. That does feel like one of those facts that you see. Like, Donald Trump's cousin says he His obituary is final words where he's a real dickhead and I hate him and Everyone's like, ah, this is so true. I'm gonna share this on Facebook without critically looking into it at all Yeah, and anyway, and here I am doing it verbally, but over a podcast. That's okay though. Yeah but I mean, is there, is there a, I mean, there must have been a horror movie that already made like at least a low budget one about drones.

Look, I haven't seen it yet. Yeah, right. But also, it's so harmlessly coming into your society when it comes in as just delivery drones, you know, they're just bringing you a cup of cold coffee. They're just bringing you from the sky, cold spilled coffee from the sky. They're just bringing you bread and medicine. We didn't think there was any way that having a machine flying hot drinks over people's heads could somehow turn out badly.

You know, up there in the turbulence, Maybe it's closer to like the birds. Mm, right. Well, yeah, I think, I think, because I mean, what is the reality of what they can do to you? Maybe not that much, but the... Yeah, I just think the fuck are you? Oh, sure, slice the fuck.

But is that in some way scary? Has that ever been explored? Is it, is it, is it sort of a dangerous or say that you know, you're a worrying thing? In some sort of, I don't know, I guess'd call it a slasher film of some kind? Is that a, is that a scene? Are blades considered to be diggers? And anyway, yeah.

Um, I don't remember. Historically. I look, I'm not that familiar with horror movies. Sure. But is there a scene with in the birds where they walk outside and there's all these birds just waiting in the trees? All these different kinds of birds? Yeah, probably.

Again, I haven't seen it. See it. But like that, but like, just a few drones just sitting there. Yeah. You go, oh, what are they just doing there? At rest. I mean, is the problem that you would... Woooooh, you'll move.

Yeah, I mean, I think just like a huge wall of drones as well coming towards you, in like making us, they're all surrounding you like, basically like a dome, and they just get a drone dome. A drone dome. And they just get closer and closer and closer. Right? Oh, and it's kind of like, like, soar. It's like the movie soar, and it's just the two of you there, and there's just like a gun or something, and they're like, they're somehow, like, the only way

to stop them is to shoot the others. This is a really good action sort of thriller kind of thing. Yeah. Because all you need is a bit of artificial intelligence in this. This is going to be fun. This is going to be like, it's going to be the jaws of the sky. Of the sky. And then obviously, I mean, I guess in many ways that sharknado was the jaws of the sky. You would have thought it was. You would have thought, but actually they left a little bit of me told that though. Yeah, people, because since then, people have been happy to kind of return to the skies.

Mmm. Just when you thought it was by exciting to go back in the skies. Yeah, alright. If that wasn't the tagline, just Sharknado, they made a huge mistake. Or at least it should have been just when you thought it was safe to go back on the land. Right? Or to stay on the land? That's what you thought was safe to stay on land.

But I mean, I understand why you say skies, Alistair. But it's not really that the sharks are getting people in the sky. It's that they're getting you on the ground. And you wouldn't really say that just me right now, I'm in the sky, would you? I mean, most of me is, only a small, really it's only my feet that are on the ground. Right, the rest of me is in the sky right now.

I mean, we've talked about this before. Yeah, I agree with where the sky starts with the ground and... Yeah, yeah. It's my shoes that are on the ground, the rest of me is in the sky. Yeah, I guess you're right. Thank you. I mean, are the bottom of your shoes part of you or part of the ground? Oh, Alistair. This feels dangerously close to an argument we had

about hanging upside down. I wish you could have been there for it because I comprehensively destroyed Alistair with logic. And then he comprehensively destroyed me by refusing to concede to the point where I had to concede just to stop the conversation. And then he still wouldn't concede. It was, it was, it was masterful, really.

I know, but I found, I found a minor detail that, you know, anyway, it doesn't matter. So look, we have five sketch ideas. One's more of a horror movie. Mm, but, but what a horror movie. I mean, look, at the horror movie, it's got startups, it's got startups. It's got drones.

This is like, this is a movie for today. Oh yeah. If there's any movie produced. Probably it'll be out of date within like a week or two. But right today, we could get this made within the next four or five days. If producers, if any producers who wanna give us some development money, we will absolutely take some time

out of our lives to write this Are there people with development money who listen to this podcast? There must be a assume that's most of the audience send us a message somehow Some assume you have ways. Yeah, send one of your spies one of your producers one of your network of trained rats Whatever it is however it is that you rich people communicate. They're not necessarily rich. They just work for a company that has money for development. Right, sure. Okay, Andy, we're going to go to our three words. Even just the word, I mean, there would have definitely been a movie called Drone, made,

but even just that word is quite scary. I've written the drones, even though I know there's a band called that. Well, maybe they could be in it. Okay, that would be great. There could be the main guys at Orgals. Gareth Lidiard. Who's in the join drones? And it's in the drone. The drone.

But I mean, also having it be a reference to the verse, that'll get the movie buffs in there. Makes it a little bit art house, but not too much. You want that main population. The main population they'll be going in for the decapitation of people by drones. Yeah. Imagine that, like all those bodies you'll find

just sliced up or whatever on the, I mean people will know immediately that it was the drone that did it. Maybe not, maybe they'll think it was youth. That's who the... Probably blame it on youth. Or immigrants. This frenzied stabbing.

Mm. In a kind of circular blip, propeller like way. Only a youth could have the... the quickness. The nimble wrists to do that kind of slicing. Yeah, people spin pins around their hands. Anyone do that with knives? Anyone do that as an attack strategy.

Yeah, absolutely. Could be something in that. And one of the main things with knives is don't have a good grip of it. And spin it so that at least 50% of the time, it's facing you. The blade is being rolled over your skin. Yeah.

All right, so our three words from our Patreon subscriber, Patreon. If you want to get it on this train, I don't want to get it in on this train. I want to get on on this train. On in this train. Then you can look us up on patreon.com slash to intake and Chuck in a couple of bucks a month to get to send us some words. Well this Voids this supporter is Joe Dunker. Mm-hmm. Hello Joe JD. Hello Joe Hello, Joe. J.D.

Hello, Joe! Remember that from the Simpsons? Alright, and then... That famous Simpsons coin. That's very famous. Hello, Joe! Okay. I think it's maybe Ned Flanders' dementia riddled on her mother.

Okay. I don't know. Anyway, his three words, hey Joe, are gerbil, Charlemagne and broom. So gerbil and broom, those go well together. I can't see how, but can I tell you what this puts me in mind of? It's very often I get something straight away from this. So not a sketch I do necessarily, but it takes me somewhere. And this reminds me of a creative writing piece that we had to write in French in year 11, where it was something about Charlemagne. We'd

been reading about Charlemagne. So I think there was some sort of a thing to do with the town of Kakasong. So the thing. And I think either Charlemagne was laying siege or was being laid siege to in this town. And they had walls all around the town. Nobody can get in or out. So they're basically starving to death. And it goes on for months or months.

What is this? Some French war. Some ancient French war. Okay, ancient. Right? Like hundreds of years ago. Okay. Right. And they're starving to death and whenever Charlemagne was, he would have been hundreds of years

ago, that bloke. Yeah, I remember that. Don't remember him. That's the Rigor Bell. Yeah. Well, ironically, I think a bell is rung in the story. Yeah. I can't remember.

But anyway, the point is, Alistair, they're starving to death, the army's outside the walls, and everybody, the army wants to go home, the people inside are dying, and they're like, look, we've got to get these people to leave. And what they do is they take a pick, and they stuff it full of grain and food, like basically all the food that they have, everything they've got left, and they chuck it over the wall, right?

And it explodes on the ground and the army sees it there, it sees them throwing away this pig full of food, you know, pig full of food, you keep your food in a pig, right? And the army's like, they're throwing away this food, they must have so much food left. Let's just go home, right?

And that's what happens, they turn around and they leave. Now, imagine that, right? And that's what happens. They turn around and they leave. Now, imagine that, right? But with a gerbil. Sure. Sure, sure. Let's show them how much food we have. Let's stuff this gerbil with everything. With a broom.

Well, you're using the broom, I imagine, to shove the grains of corn up inside the gerbil. A hamburger. Yeah, a hamburger. You'rebil hamburger. Yeah, you're last hamburger Non-perishable hamburger, well, you know those McDonald's hamburgers. They don't that's right Apparently that I don't know I don't believe that for some reason feels like it would have been like pretty specific Circumstances for that. I just kind of have this imagine

This thing up into my imagination that where like there could have been like a McDonald's happy Mean happy meal Charlemagne like themed happy meal. I think that's interesting. Yes, right? Like so what would that I mean I don't know Enough about Charlemagne. I only know this story. I know so let's's do that. Let's stuff him, let's just stuff your gerbil. Yeah. But what is a set in the modern day, maybe? Okay. So your house is under siege. It's like the movie Panic Room.

Yes. Okay. They're outside. You got a little vent that you can get to sound that they don't know about. Yeah. But they find out about it when you push your gerbil out. Push the gerbil through. And they're like, look at this gerbil. It's full of grain.

They're getting, they must have so much great if they could afford to stuff it into this gerbil and toss it out a little. They must have so many gerbil. So many gerbils, you wouldn't throw away a whole gerbil unless you had an untold number of gerbils in there, right? And then the bad guys who are in your house outside your panic room, which for some reason has an open vent Doesn't seem like a good thing to put into a panic room. I know I could just put some gas in there or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but Closes and they don't find out where it is. Yeah So they just I assume this Journal came from within the panic room. There's no way that that could have happened as far as I can tell but I can't

I can't assume that they can teleport they open the door to the panic room for a second chuck it out and close it I just have their eye on the gap there just looking through the gap and they wait for the guy to turn his back, and then they go, and close it. So presumably one of the kids in the panic room has just recently been studying French history at school. That's what it is. So they've learned this great military tactic. Okay. Unfortunately, they have a happy meal in there and a durable.

They're able to combine the two for this brilliant and strategic code. And they think that the kids or the person are just using the gerbil as a projectile. Look at what they're using as projectile. These are rich. This they must have vast resources in there. Being able to throw gerbals. Where massively outgunned. Yeah, I mean, they can throw projectiles that can bite.

Yeah. And look how well fed this gerbil was. And it had pizza, it had buttered popcorn. It looks like a hamburger. Inside the chair bowl, I can tell. I can tell, well, it's a burst open. It did burst open, okay, right? Well, I mean, look, Alistair, should we say

that is definitely a sketch idea? I don't think anyone out there is thinking it's not or I think I would challenge the best comedy writers in the universe, probably, to try and find any holes in that sketch. Why do you think the people are attacking the house? Let's see, it's sort of a heist type thing. It's a heist. Well, I think maybe one of the people in there

is like a works at the Pentagon, right? And maybe they want to get some secrets or something. Yeah, right. I was worried that the criminals were going to have somebody on the inside. Inside the panic room. And then there we go. It's not that that's their last germal. They don't have their own rich resources as the door gets shut.

This is why in my panic room, I have another panic room. That's right. That's why if someone turns out gets into the panic room with me, I'm able to retreat into a second smaller panic room and I got so many gerbils in that panic room. So much grain. Man, do you have a toilet in a panic room? You must, right? You have to get that panic room plumbed. Well, I mean, the word panic surely suggests you could just, I mean, if I get that panic room. The word panic surely suggests you could just go. I mean if I had a panic room and there was a toilet in there,

that's the only place I'd go. I wouldn't even leave. Yeah. It doesn't sound like a panic situation to me. It just sounds like a nice weekend. It's a chance to have some time. Oh my god. That is terrifying.

That is a big screen TV in front of a toilet. It doesn't sound like a big screen TV in front of a toilet. Doesn't sound like a panic room. Sounds like a lot of picnic room to me. And, and, and, like reachable snacks. Mmm. For, for you and the jurbles. I think this is a great brand of snacks. Reachables.

Reachables. Reachables snacks. It sounds like you're gonna vomit them. Dry reachables and wet reachables. Well dry reachables are great because you can take them, you know, you can store them and don't perishable.

You can take them like when you're sort of hiking in the mountains. He talks about a wet reach. It's always a dry reach. It is actually supposed to be dry wretch, and we just somehow bastardized it to reach. Sure, I don't know. I've always said reach,

but now I'm thinking about it, wretch seems more. Sure, but I think, you know, I'm not unhappy. I'm not unhappy with, oh, thank God. With reaching. It feels, it just sounds better ratcheting. It just sounds better, ratcheting. It just sounds like you're doing some mechanics work. Should we wrap this?

I'll run you by the things. We got the Blue Lagoon family figuring out what ejaculate is for. Yeah, I think that's intriguing. Yeah. We got the Pizza City PR firm. The City's how to get more tourists in by- Man, I just call my city Pizza City.

Pizza City. That's one of the things you could do. Yeah. Sydney could change its name. Yeah. Or, cameras trying to get bigger. Sydney, camera, you know, Sydney Melbourne, Pizza City.

That's how camera would overtake Brisbane and animals. So the capital city of Australia is now pizza city? Pizza city. I mean, that does sound pretty cool. Do you think we could get that up as a vote? I mean, yeah, I mean, if you want to change it in there. Did the change the constitution or the... I don't know if the names of the cities are in the country.

No, no, no. Actually, there's a shortcut there. You could just... Go to some planning board. There's probably just a council, right? The mayor, yeah. Yeah, get the mayor on site. The mayor probably has a key that he carries on himself at all time that unlocks the thing that allows him to change the name of the city.

Do you think you could somehow hack in and change the name of the city? I hope so. Yeah. And then there'll be people who like, I'm going to keep calling Cambery. You go, well, that's fucking insulting to the like technically it is called, yeah, to the truth. Hmm. Since solely to the truth, the truth's really offended.

Yeah. Yeah, to their truth. It's solely to the truth. The truth's really offended. And then we have dumb shit that can kill aliens, like in war, the worlds and science. And we're just remaking ones like that. So numbers, almost achieving victory. Yeah. Weekends. Weekends, all the weekends showed up. Guitar leads. Somebody like a great guitar solo starts.

And they're like, oh wait, actually that was a little bit like, War of the Worlds. I don't know, no, no, no, no, Mars attacks. Was it? That was another one like that. Maybe that they already did this. Mars attacks, something stupid killed them.

Because that was kind of a parody one. Yeah, and it was like music in someone Oh, I'm sorry. I mean we count it, but still sounds like this joke's being done No, I don't feel bad. I'm just joking Summary of all food you had in a year Mm-hmm in a flavya flavor to year in of all food you had in a year. Mm, that's it. In a Flavia. Flavia, a year in a mouthful.

A year in a mouthful. And then, you know, that old sketch I did we had where we, they make new foods using old foods as an ingredient. This is a place that goes to the next step. It's a place that makes new foods from the average of one year's food as the ingredient. Well, I mean, you could absolutely do that, right? Like after 10 years, you've got 10 years of ingredients.

Like, okay, so you use a little bit of 2015, you dry that out and then you grind that up. Right, and then you thinly slice some 2017. Exactly. You fry that on a pan. Yeah. And then you lay it out on a bed at 28. Oh, you make 20.

You make 20, and then some leaves. You break off just a couple of sprigs of 2019. Yeah. And then that's a decade on a plate. And you can say, oh, this meal is so decade-ent. Thank you. Yes. And I can kill myself now.

No, that was good. No, but I know. And then we've got The Drones, which is our horror movie. We can sell this to, you know, I bet you that guy. He used to go and make Get Out. Jordan Peel. Yeah. I think he's Despo. He must be Despo.

He must be Despo. He definitely seems like a guy who's come to the end of his creative life. I mean, he's made two horror movies back to back. You know, the second one wasn't as good as the first one. Wasn't it? According to somebody I know. Yeah, right. Okay. And I. Did you see the first one? Yes. Yeah. That's a good one. I enjoyed it. Yeah, great. Yeah. And so just did you see the first one? Yes. Yeah. That's a good. I enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah. And so now he's Despo. He needs drones. Hmm. We don't care. Who's cast on it? That's his that's up to him. We just want to write it. That's good

about still believe that choice to the director. Well, or the casting director. Yeah. Sure. Now we're taking it out of the hands of Jordan again. Sorry. Sorry. Can I hang out? Can we hang out and talk to your wife? She's the one of the coolest people in the world. She really is. Chelsea Peretti. Chelsea Peretti. Yeah. And then we got Gerbil main and that's the panic room scenario. And what a name for the episode. Jurbel main.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh and we are at Two in Tank and you know the links for all this are down below. If you're like I desperately need to do something for these fellows, you don't need to, but if you want to, there are links down there, you can give us reviews to make us feel good. You can listen to Shusher guided meditations, just make sure it makes us feel good. Me especially. Especially Andy. Andy likes seeing me do well. I do though. I know. And we'd like to thank everyone who came to Magma.

Came to see the last three shows of Magma that we did the Butterfly Club. They were really, really fun. We met lovely people who come to see the show. So thank you for that. To Lauren and Tom and Ollie and why Mr. Wiseman, for all coming. I believe there are people who approached me. Yeah, right. It was delightful to see you. I believe Mr. Wiseman was wearing a accordion to you shirt. I mean that might be the only one day when everything is crumbled.

That may well be the only physical evidence left of this podcast. Like if all digital format, if there's a virus, right, a virus, and everything digital goes away, it all gets turned into ones or zeros. But not the combination required to make any information. The only reporting to you, T-shirt, will be the only evidence to prove that this ever existed. Yeah. And I couldn't be prouder.

We'll try and reverse engineer what this was. Yes. Well, I think they'll probably get pretty close. I think so. And you know what, everybody? We, I think so. And you know what, everybody? We, and love you. A chance less than seabed when we do it like that.

We love you. I love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify

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