Two In The Think Tank - 196 - "SCIENFELD" with BEC PETRAITIS!

Episode Date: August 20, 2019

Bec's back, baby! Another thrilling epsisload with our good friend and internet celebrity Bec Petraitis.Thanks to Harry's for supporting this episode! Visit harrys.com/thinktank for your SUMMER SHAVING DEAL!Self Jerking Tube, Shrink Dad, Skin Bible, Bible Church, Salt Birth, Hand Face, Lion Up, Frog Spawn, Gum Sum, SHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereA high fibre glass of thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com.

Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. And let's stay at what you're saying. What are your plans for the summer holiday? Here we are in the middle of summer.

Oh, yes. Summer, I love it. The warmest week of the year. What are you going to do with your summer break? You know what, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm going to shave. Yes. Well, that's great.

You know, they say a change is as good as a holiday. You know? I mean, really when you shave, that's summer for your chin. Absolutely. Let the sun shine in. Blown away with the winds of spring. And it's chin summer. The golden rays of darkness have been pulled off of your face. The golden rays of darkness perfectly couldn't have expressed what we're trying to talk about any better.

And it's just as well because today's episode of Two in the Think Tank, indeed this week's episode is brought to you by Harry's. Harry's Reasers? Yeah, or Shavers. Yes. It's a better way to shave, Alistair. I know that. It's going to change your, I mean, not yours because you already do this. You know all about it. Almost constantly. Yeah, but it's going to change the way things work for you.

For the better. My Lord. We've got a little bit more to talk about later on in the podcast. So you got that to look forward to. But let's just find some to say, if you're going to harry.com. For slash think tank, you're going to get yourself a summer deal. Get yourself a summer shave deal and change your chin's with holiday.

Yes. Your chin's with holiday. And on with the show. I fell down and I can get up. I fell down and I can't get up. I fell down and I can't get up. I fell down and I can't get up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, George William Trump, I virtual and joining us is Internet celebrity back patrata Rebecca Marie Felicity Patrata Felicity

You want to Take my identity Yes, we feel like the middle names are very much the internal organs of the name Yes, they do You don't see them but they're crucial to the functioning of your name They do a lot of the digestive work, okay? The food comes in through the Christian name passes through the middle names and exits through the sir name Yes, I think the come to the toilet of the date of birth. I think the confirmation

The confirmation name acts as also like a bit of a... I reckon it's like, if anything, you plug it in there, it stops stuff getting through. The confirmation name, a thing that we all know about and enjoy discussing. And we understand almost instinctively without even having to introduce the confirmation name. It's like the appendix. It's put in there, but you usually just have to get it removed or whatever it is. You put it in there yourself. Yeah, it's. You named it after a character from neighbors. What is your confirmation? Oh, right. Oh, so that wasn't part of the original Rebecca Marie Petrata's package. I mean, it was. That is surgically insert.

If you can't me in the eyes of the Lord. I mean, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was Grandfather has it. My grandfather Felicity Sharp. That's a great name. Felicity Sharp. That is actually a pretty good name. I reckon he should have got rid of Robin. And he should have just been Felicity Sharp. A whole time. Why are you saying that name Sharp? Oh, that's my, because my mom's got different name to me.

Yeah, right. And so, are you going within you? Wait, are you not taking that name on? I, because it would be very confusing because we know sharps. And then it would seem like we were all related and it would go get a break. Spelt the same? Different. With an E? Yes.

Yes. Sneaky E. But Petraeotus, that's your Lithuanian name. That is my Lithuanian name. Rebecca is of course Lithuanian. Yes. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Our Lithuanian friend. We laugh because we all know that Lithuanian is in a real place. It's not a real place. It's like Nadia. It's like, ah, she's from Nadia. I can't even get out of here. I can't even get out of here. I can't even get out of here. And you're like like, oh she's here now Worst than a cubbid

If you could picture a thing, such a thing Worst Surnacubbid I mean this it no True spec, shut up Shut up, we brought you here to be quiet I want to talk to Alistair about this idea of asking somebody to come up with something that is worse than a cupboard.

Right? Because you can't, you can't, like for these sorts of just everyday nouns like that, you can't say something is worse than a cupboard because they think that it exists a longer spectrum from good to bad. They do. They do. They're open to interpretation which bits you think are good and bad. So you can say that what's something that's worse than a cupboard? Well you could say a shoe is worse than a cupboard because you can store less things. I disagree. I think it depends on what's in the cupboard. Yes. Well that's not a property of the cupboard. That's another accident. The cupboard is not its contents. You see the contents of the cupboard are very much like the middle names.

You're pooping the garbage. You're pooping the cupboard. Yeah. You're pooping inside it and it comes out your last name. Anyway, Lithuania might be a real place. I think that the toilet was invented or the bathroom was invented by someone who just, who one day pooped in a cupboard, right? And then tried to style it out. Is that the thing that the thing that people say?

It was a toilet as of course a water closet. A It's a toilet. Of course, a water closet. A water closet. But somebody pooped in a desert closet. Yeah. And it became a water closet. Well, it became a swamp closet. A steam closet. Really, it's not a water closet. It's a swamp closet. It's a waste closet.

It's a waste. Waste. Is that what the word? Waste. Mmm. Good to think about. it to what yeah yeah waste yeah what the word wet waste Good to think about man mud and what I call that's not deny off the table You don't know when we podcast the desk is covered in knives For some reason I have a knife. I've been using it to open my beer. That probably explains a lot. I just cut the tops off.

Well, I've threatened them. I'll threaten the top off. The only reason I was always here is, oh! Did we drop out? We're back. We're back. Yes.

Oh, what was there a brown out? In the water closet? Oh, no. That's where the brown out lives. We don't have a sketch ID. I can't hear it. We'll cut what about my idea in the water closet. Oh no. That's where the brand outweaves. We don't have a sketch ID. I can't hear anything. We'll cut what about my idea about the person

who invented the bathroom? We did a poo in a closet. The person who invented the boat looked at a cow and went, oh drink that. Isn't that nothing that happens? Yeah. The only person who ever pooped thinking you know we're doing Thought I was joking off a cow

Sorry, I introduced the cow I'll take the cow away to disgusting But is this the thing that we've talked about on the podcast before the idea of like a system in which poo is like bum a jacket and you have to jerk off the bum in order to make the poo come out. That feels like a thing that we've talked about. Let's see. I wonder if anyone's playing this episode out loud to their ceramics class. I mean that's kind of what the intestine does anyway, doesn't it go like, loop loop loop loop. That's right, it's a self-jurking tube.

It is. It is a self-jurking tube. The intestine is the horneest organ. Yeah, it's a look. It's always jacking off food. All right, the intestine is... Right. Oh.

The intestine is this... It's... Look, let's just start calling poo bum cum. Alright, is that... Is that so much to us? I mean, let's call us spade, a spade. Let's call poo bum cum. Finally...

Somebody... Somebody said it. Just said it. Yes, and now we can all die. Now we can all... We can all just burn up in the sun or something. I'll put in brackets bum come But I think and I think we've got an episode title

Definitely not putting that in the episode title because people don't download the ones that have got rude titles We've established this scientifically With the episode poo in the shorts, which nobody downloaded I think I think this day I don't know if that's a rude thing more than a visual Then you got to think about that, like it would come across on your Toyota Hilux on the fancy little screen that shows the MP3 title. That's true, and then you might be having

a business meeting in that car, or a drug deal or something like that. Yeah, you don't want it to ruin your drug deal. You've got all that heroin to sell. You're really revealing your working class roots here with your Toyota Hilux for that. What if you said something classy like a Citroen, Citroen, uh, Ravanoia. Oh, so Citroen made from IKEA. I like those cludges.

It's a clutch. I think it's a cludge. Clutch up. Clutch up? Oh, the cludges. Cluggers. What is it? Toyota again. Beck, you're showing your workclass routes here.

Stop it. What about getting your workbooks? This is an elite podcast for the 1%. I just came up getting exclusively billionaires. I just come out of the cupboard. I don't understand. Something worse than a cupboard. Where Lithuanians come out of. Like a shoe closet. I'll get it now. Thank you.

Do you think, do you think that like the, there could be a situation where the people who make the atlas would have to issue an apology and a retraction because they've discovered that Lithuania isn't real. But all this time, they were sort of tricked in some way, somebody got it, they wrote a fake name. Is this hugely offensive to the people of Lithuania? I don't. Look, I got it level with you, I'm not sure where it is. Oh, but do you, have you ever been to Lithuania? No. Do any of your family speak any Lithuanian languages?

Who? My aunties and uncles, at least they say they do, but maybe not. Have you ever heard of Gieberish? Can you call them right now? Find out. Just say something Lithuanian. I think I also keep getting told by some of my relatives that our family were kings and queens and I feel like that does sound like a story Tells someone

If it wasn't real, yeah, the kings and queens of Lithuania, yeah, so then your dad is Lithuanian Yes, and does he ever speak it? No, no, he's not that Lithuanian Does he ever incorporate any of the's a little onion culture into the fantasy Definitely right My father does not write fantasy novel if you want a fancy fan picture What a picture what next dad looks like just imagine someone who writes fantasy novels and that's exactly him Turned it up by like 10% more fantasy

novels. And if you're picturing that guy who writes fantasy novels, that's exactly who he looks like. Yes. My dad, he could never, he's a serious man. He's a man of science. Sci-fi. That's more his name. Yeah, hard sci-fi. Science of magic. My dad, look, I think everyone's dad has a fantasy novel in them. Absolutely. Oh, that's a really fascinating. My dad ate a copy of Ramanie feasts the necromancer of whatever it is. I think all dads are like a kind of surprise and inside is a book. It is in one of those little egg things still, so there doesn't get all the blood and

gunk on it. Wait, the book is? Yeah, the book is in an egg. Oh, your dad is in an egg. Both. Double egging. It's a double yolk, but the yolk is your dad in a book. So there is let's say let's say there is the ultimate kind of surprise really isn't it? You open up the egg and your dad's

in there and he shaved his beard off. No. No, get away from me. You're so small. You're so small! Not if I've been said about it, what weight was my bead? How do you think that society would react if all dads started shrinking? Just one day, sort of like, you know, those sort of, you might write a fantasy graphic novel in which like all the men are dead or something like that. But instead of that, all the dads just start getting smaller and smaller every day, smaller and smaller and smaller. The first thing, they can't clean out the gutters anymore, because they can't get between the rows. But now that you can put them down

the pipes and they can scrape them out. You can more easily throw them onto the roof. But then also, people who are not ready to shrink will not breed. So I think they'll be less breeding So we could end up in a children of men scenario, but where men seem like children because they're getting smaller so so tiny men of men that are children children Men of children men children of men men of children that are like men Men of children. Men children of men. Men of children that are like men.

Man rolls off the tongue. Yes. Children of men that are like children in terms of how they look. Size wise. But I think this is also like a nice feature. Like, you know, it is that hard to reach places, but it's a dad now.

Like you can get in there. Put a dad down there. Put a dad down there, he fix it. Yeah. You give him a there. Put a dad down there, he fix it. Yeah, you give him a little scraping thing or something and he runs down the pipe, all eager, and he goes and he finds the clog and he pokes it and then he shoots out on a little spur of water

up into the air like somebody being blasted out in the funnel of a whale. And he goes, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I would worry about losing your dad down the stairs. But then he can go to Bunnings and use the little trolleys that kids use. That's what they're for tiny dads. All the dads are shrinking. All the dads are shrinking.

The dads are shrinking. And you put them in the gutter. Yes. That was not fun. There's a lot of far to the zone. Oh, the closer tiny dad's Dad's Dad's It's basically a

I was going to sing three father and son, but I just don't think he says father and son in that song at all Does he cut Stevens it's not time to make a change? It's to to make it easy. No, I don't think he does. No, I don't think he says anything about dads. Well, that parody song, don't do it. Yeah, everybody would try it. We looked down that little alleyway.

But then again, there's nothing there. You were doing the opposite of a parody song. You were looking for the actual lyrics so that you didn't have to change anything. Ah, parody. Yeah, I think tiny dads is a good, I think they could help with smaller problems. Because usually big problems are what dad comes for. Like your car, the tire gets blown out. You're like, dad help, he come help. Whereas like, maybe it's the like, the tiny light bulb in your car that turns on above the console is out

That's for dad. Can I suggest that this is how we would all start connecting with our dad? It's much more because they're so small that they can't do any of the physical Work that they normally do and the only way that they can help is by listening and emotionally. And also if they're small enough and you have some sort of prostate problem they can run down your urethra and perform some kind of microsage. I dream about it. Yeah or up your bum. Or up your bum. You know, we're back in the bum. We were out for a while, we're back in again. Well, the bum is actually the one thing that's worse than a closet. We found it.

The bum is the closet. The swamp closet. Oh no. We're back. Oh, we're back. Femish for the day. Come on! Yes, everybody. Ooh, ooh!

I've brought that back for you out. Yeah. It's a bit very gorilla-like. Who knows what the next big sporting event annoying thing is going to be. It was that. It was Verversaillers. No, what about those, like those sort of clapping things? That's Mickeyballers, yeah.

But they go. What about those like those sort of clapping things? That's Mickey Baldur's, yeah. Where'd they go? My dad's about to get them to these who find something a little ventured day. I'm not my name's Andy and Paul's here, I'm not singing, I'm singing, but that one ain't gonna say, very much, they don't know,

they're not dead, what? That's it, they don't say, hey, say, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, monkey's hair. Dream that episode where Elle weighed in sign and the podcast are a bit of that. I remember it a lot, it was now. But it's like, you know, it's like in primary school, just kids just know that kind of stuff. And I'm done. So what I would love to see then is like a full stadium of supporters of Tottenham Hotspur,

all doing that all together, you know, with the person on each side, you know. Yeah, just. You know, but yeah, I mean, I'm not even going to the person on each side, you know. Yeah, just like this. You know, but yeah, I mean, I'm not even gonna try it all instead because it's not physically possible for me to do what you just did. But I think that would be beautiful if they all get together, all these football hooligans and they practice for hours and hours, and it becomes, it becomes that sort of,

you know, this sort of thing that they all do. Beautiful poly rhythm. Beautiful poly rhythms, yes. And then they punch people in the face for wearing the wrong jumper. But then also beautiful poly, and when they punch them, such beautiful poly rhythms in the punches.

And they have a little rhyme that they do when they do the punch. I'm gonna punch in the face and I'm gonna make your face real red. I'm gonna make it real red now. It's gonna be the reddest. I feel like a lot of those singing song things were about like some sort of woman who had something happening. Like it was Miss Mary Mack all dressed in black. She had- What happened with her? I can in black. She had... What happened with her? I can't remember. She had some... She had some little buttons down her back.

Yeah, so a few... Kind of buttons? Silver. Maybe ribbons? Maybe it was ribbons. Yeah, but I feel like if we can incorporate some sort of like... Because maybe that's the way to get women into sport more by just having them as the main focus of things that you

yell as you punch someone. Oh yeah. Oh, I mean, the dream, the dream would be obviously that and then after that, maybe we'll be representation in the actual on the field. But until that point, yeah, maybe equal pay. But until that point, we'll put their names into the songs that we sing when we punch people Is that what you want? Is that not enough for you? Surrender Williams mom with them, but I guess especially I guess most of the time the people who will be getting punched It'll be it's a lot of men on men violence Hmm, and so that it's actually there's not a lot of women in there. The women gonna be represented

Random eyes football based street violence. Yes. When is there gonna be, as Beck said, representation here and I think she's right. Guys, thanks for speaking for me. This is I agree. So it works this time. This is what you were calling for, right?

Yes, this is exactly it. I want to punch someone in a scarf. It's fun. How they're always just in scarves. So then while you're talking to somebody, while you're talking, let's say you're talking to a woman, you'll do the opposite where you will talk about punching. You see, and while the men are punching, they'll talk about women. And that can't, they cancel each other out. And there will be no violence. Well, except for the guy punching the other guy.

No, I thought we canceled that out. No, no, no. It's not mad. It's actually just talking and punching. Oh, right. That's the case I cancel out, okay. There isn't enough talking about your punching. That's usually just punching.

Do you think that if you're getting punched from the outside, if you had another small person inside you, say you're dead, punching back from the inside, that would be a way to sort of defend yourself. You know, like a small inner puncher. Yeah. Running around. Giving you sort of like super, so like it could be a small puncher in each finger. So you got like, you got a punch, but then your knuckles also punch. Yeah.

Sort of like a chup. Sort of like Wolverine blades. Yeah, but just tiny, man, little fists. Little fists, and you just see the little fist popper. It's real disturbing at the same time. Well, the way I was picturing it when you guys were talking about it was what about like it's like a bulletproof fast, but what it is, it's like, it keeps happening that cut up. It's okay, we're still recording everything. Oh my god. Just the feedback. Oh, great. It's just the feedback. Oh, great.

It's very concerning. I love that. The, the, the, what you've got is just a floating Bible inside your chest. Mm. Like that. And it can, and it can just travel to the front and to the back. And it's like a tapeworm.

It's yeah, but it's like a bullet detecting Bible. Yes, internal. Internal. And it just kind of sloths slides around in the inside like that and wherever wherever a bullet comes It goes there and it blocks it the Bible takes the bullet Yeah, you think they could do this with those nano robots that they want to put inside the human body to like Fixed disease and that sort of thing almost like a tiny Right. And each one of those has got a Bible, a tiny Bible, straight to it, and using the bullet resisting properties of the Bible, they zip around, they can tell where a bullet's going to hit.

They zip to the site of the bullet, almost like platelets would zip to like an injury and cause it to heal over. Well, these are sort of preemptive in that they get their first. And the hymns, the bullet. Get it down. Anyway, I should you mix sides and religion in that way though. I think it feels dangerous. I don't think religion would disagree without desire to get the Bible inside people. And you could call it the miracle. So, it's a miracle thing.

And then you can sell it pretty much only to the religious market, because the idea that you're telling, you're mostly selling them a Bible inside their body. And they'll be like, that's the word of God. And it'll be close to my heart. It might even accidentally nick my heart and damage it. Whatever, like that. You know what you'd be the that be God's want. What could be more religious than giving God the opportunity to cut your heart with his words? Yeah, absolutely right. I'll say I think you should write that down as a sketch out there. Inter-inter-bible. Yeah, just fill you up with Bibles.

Right, they're real small. Oh, they go into your bloodstream. Hey, is it probably me? Okay, you're talking one Bible. Well, at first I was talking one Bible. I was imagining heaps. Ah, well, why not just replace all of your skin with Bibles? Why not make the whole skin out of Bibles?

Why, why, why, risk? This risk in having to get there, what if you are... Hmm. The word of God, but it's the skin. It's your skin is the Bible. And it would make sense because then you, when you looked in the mirror, not only would you no longer be what's that thing where you kind of are very... Vain.

You no longer be vain, you'd be there, you'd be Bible reading. Yes. You're reading the Bible. You want to take a long hard look at yourself and then read yourself and then think about what you read and use that to inform your choices. I mean technically this is what happens when people tattoo the Bible on themselves, I guess. You've got to pick good words. What words would not be on your face? Which Bible passes would you pick for your nose? Which Bible passes. Which Bible passes. Oh, I guess I would probably use my best, my best Bible pass message.

Yes. Yep. And then on the back, I would put the second best one. Yeah, okay, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. Oh, good choice. Yeah, really good choice. I really like that. And then maybe under my feet,

probably have the third best. Under your feet. Under. I think that's pretty sacrilegious. Yeah, that's not right. Well, you're not going to have any on there. Also, you're just going to have spaces that aren't covered by Bibles. Yeah, that's...

No, I have like the copyright information on my phone. Oh, so... Yeah. Yeah, King James. Yeah, King James, all that. Yeah. Is King James, is that included in the copyright information? Yeah, King James owns it.

He gets all the money. Yeah, that's it. Yep, that's it. We're still getting all the money. I guess his estate would still, which I guess is just the monarchy. They still have it as his estate, right? Do you think I could put the entire Bible through some sort of synonym generator on the internet

and then just claim it as a totally new Bible and just get the royalties? People might want on to sell it and get the royalties. People want to read it just to get a different perspective. But think about this, the Matthews version. The man yeah. It sounds like it's one of the guys. It does. But it's one of us that is.

Well not Matthews. No. They, they got a lot of Matthews. It'll be Matthews. A pot, a Matthews apostrophe. Brackets Andy. No, don't put Andy in there. That'll give it away.

The Matthews cut. Like that. I think, you know, while we're making, while we're putting Bibles under the skin, I do like the idea of, you know, given that we've studied the bullet resisting properties of the Bibles, that have, obviously, the bullet hits the Bible and some have saved in the battlefield or whatever, I do like the idea of building an entire plane out of Bibles.

Because of the, nothing is better able to withstand impact, it turns out. Right? So that's what we do. We build a whole plate out of Bible. So a lot of people covered in Bibles. Of the people who covered in Bibles, all the engines all made out of Bible. It's just like the universe is actually Bibles all the way down.

Yes. I mean, what a better, what, you know, what I'm, can you think of a more perfect representation of how much the Lord is in everything? Yes. Then making everything out of the Lord. Hmm. We build cathedrals using Barbos as bricks.

Yes. And also, build another... Priestplace. Priest. Yes. It's a Bible. It's a big pile of Barbos on the top of this one Bible that we've rigged up with a little string and it flaps open like a mouth.

And it says stuff. You have the priest hides behind it, shassing. It's the Bible Church. It's the most religious place on planet. That on my Bible. All right, everybody sit down. Today we'll be reading from me. The word of Bible.

Yes. Do you want to come up and read from me? He's still a bit. He's not right. Oh, really? No, I don't think I've done stuff today. He's not right. And then once during the ceremony or whatever they call it, the ceremony thing, they get

a guy up to sing songs and it's Michael Bibley like that and then oh they already had that thing that's the other thing anyway and then he comes up and he really had that thing at the end. Lie me to the Bible and let me play a month's other Bibles. What's he's got his own song? I just haven't met you yet. That's the one that they always play the clip of when they're advertising his ceaseless touring on smooth FM. It's one of the things that makes me the most embarrassed about Australia is the fact that Michael Buble seems to be able to tour here constantly. It is not good for the national self-esteem that we are keeping this man in endless touring. We need

to come up with some, we need to, we need to get some other B-grade musicians out here, at least him and Andre Rue are the only two people who ever seem to come out here. Pink. Pink is always here too. Yeah. He just hasn't met you yet. He has to meet every true. That's true, eventually when he's everyone. And when I have met you, I can rest. I can die. Please let me die. I just haven't met you yet. Oh, when I have met you, then I could die. Unfortunately, it was just constantly his fans that keep buying tickets. So then it's the same people. everybody else doesn't get to see him And then he has to keep touring. Do you think he was cursed by some sort of a witch or maybe an evil wizard?

Maybe a warlock. Could have been a warlock. Yeah. What's the difference between a wizard and a warlock? Would you say where do they fit? The side of the sort of width the sleeves And then the sinus, sort of with the sleeves. Yeah, that feels like, right? Or the design of that. Yeah. The warlock has more like bell-bottom sleeves or... Yeah. I think the wizard has more bell-bottom sleeves.

Yeah. It's more, sort of, 70s. Yeah, I wonder whether a wizard, sort of, is more conical. Or maybe a warlock is more conical. So it does come out to a bigger sleeve. Mm-hmm. But maybe the wizard is is it's got flares They really flare out at the end. Okay, Alistair you get to have to sort of

Explide it Hard for me to work out what the fuck you Conical sleeve yeah, so I like a fled. Yes, it's so they're both flared because that's the magic way. Right. Right. But one, the cone Flares out at a constant rate along the sleeve. Right. So there's almost a mathematical theorem behind it's sort of a linear Relationship that's a linear one. Whereas the that I think that that's the warlock that does that That's the warlock right and then the wizard It's a it's a thin sleeve along the upper arm, right? And then as you get sort of mid forearm, they really bust out.

Like a trombone. Yeah, like a trombone. So it's more like an exponential kind of relationship. Yeah, but it doesn't get that wide. It's the... It never gets as wide as the... And that's the warlock sleeve. Only difference.

I think so. Wow. Yeah. Yeah think so. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Beck doesn't look convinced, but I think she's just... I think she's just a hater. She doesn't like to like things. Look, I just am not a fan of magic.

I love nothing. Must be difficult with your father being a fan of her. That's why I hate magic! Yeah. Dad, stop spending time with your wizards a fan of the letter. That's why! Yes! I hate magic! Dad, stop spending time with your wizards. What about me? Oh, your little elf. Your little elf is alright. You went to one of our stories.

Rebecca. His main character, Rebecca Badeira. Badeira's. Badeira's. Badeira's. Badeira's. Badeira's. Badeira's. Badeira's. This is a, this is open up a home you will. Pateaters. Pateaters. Pateaters. Pateaters. This is opened up a whole new world for being

Rebecca Pateaters. Pateaters. The little letter waiting in bag. You know, I actually do have a connection to Lithuania. It's very vague. One of my mum's best friends spent quite a bit of time in Lithuania. And when she came back to Lithuania. And it's very vague. One of my mum's best friends spend quite a bit of time in Lithuania. And when she came back from Lithuania,

she told us about how all their dishes are variations on very badly cooked potatoes. So I think this checks out that bag of potatoes does come from Lithuania. Anyway, based on something that my mum's friend said. That's my connection with Lithuania. Anyway, based on something that my mum's friend said, that's my connection to Lithuania. Your mum's friend sounds like, you know how there was always that kid

who was like, my uncle who works at Nintendo? Like, you sound like you've invented her to make Lithuania real. And I just still don't believe you. No, you don't believe it. No, I don't believe it. It's gone very deep. You've convinced me. yeah, we've reprogrammed you to doubt you're very core of your being Which is Lithuanian just anyone okay?

Back where are you from no where are you from really? Always every day look at me You don't belong here your Lithuan Lithuanian, aren't you? Mostly, I think it's because I get through security gates and they're like, where are you from? Get out of here. If Lithuania was real. Yeah, if.

What would you picture would be there? I think they don't have any buildings that are higher than one story tall. That is my picture. But I mean, very wide and everything's rectangular. Yes, and they have very deep basements though. Oh, I go deep, I go deep. Ah, but it's not like one floor and then another.

It's a tunnel that goes down about three floors and then there's what chamber. Like a wall mat? Yes. And that's where they salt things. And they give birth to their young. In the salt. And that's why they look so young and old at the same time.

This is good. I love the idea of a creature that gives birth to its young into a bed of salt. Right? Which the salt instantly drains all the liquid out of the baby and it becomes a shriveled, whizzing little thing, right? And then it instantly seems very old, like a tiny dad, right? Yeah, that's, and that's where the myth of the tiny dad came from.

Lithuania and Vace. From the salt beds. But I mean, it's a good way. It's a good way of sort of making creating wisdom, looking people. You artificially age them in the salt very often. You cure them. This is a good thing that, you know,

you know, see the Spartans, or maybe it was some other tribes people. They would kill all the babies that weren't bigger than a certain length because they only wanted strong babies, right? What about this as a culture? They would kill all the babies that didn't have like a wrinkly little face because they only wanted wise babies. And so the mothers would have to put their babies in salt to drain all the water out so they'd be all wrinkly and look very wise and thoughtful because they wanted to raise the wisest of all possible civilizations. And then you'd save on diapers because they wouldn't have any moisture

to put it out. There's nothing to wear. You would push greens of race into their bladders so that they would always be dry. Like an iPhone. Like an iPhone that you dropped in the toilet. I think the swamp closet. I got tricked the other day on the internet. This is related to the rice thing they were talking about. It was this thing that we had like rice and another thing. And it was like, you know your AirPods, that you put in your ears.

There was some children on TikTok going, if you put your AirPods in and then you smack your head twice They'll Pause like they'll it'll activate little thing in it that pauses it so I was sitting there in my house No, my air pods and went and I'm like you're you are you've been got and I felt proud of that I've been got I got real I got real good And I really I of them. You have been got. I got real good. And I really respect that. I like those.

That is a real good got that they got you over long distance. That's like the thing of like, you know, you put if your hands bigger than your face, you got cancer. And then people smack you in your face and it really hurts. And they're like, oh, you got me. Oh, you hit me in my face. Really? Oh, you got me. Oh, well, at least I'm not so bad. At least I don't have cancer. But this is, oh, you hit me in my face. Really, oh, you got me. You hit me in my face.

Well, at least, it's not so bad. At least I don't have cans. I'm not gonna have cans, I do, I. Oh, you still could. That's the great thing about this prank. I don't think there was ever a point in my life where I realized that, yeah, you didn't have cans. I feel like the part of me still thought

maybe they were checking, but they also just happened to smack me in the face. Anyway, that's why I'm here to check. I'm here to check. I'm here to check to smack me in the face. Anyway that's why I'm too- I mean there's a check. There's a check. There's a check. I mean there's a check. There's a check. There's a check.

I mean there's a check. There's a check. There's a check. I mean there's a check. There's a check. There's a check. I mean there's a check. There's a check.

But they also just happen to smack me in the face. Anyway that's why I'm too- I mean there's a check. There's a check. There's a check. I mean there's a check. There's a check. I mean there's a check. There's a check. There's a check. It is a way of telling. We found it. It's like an instant test. You don't have to do blood tests. It's not invasive. We've got rid of the biopsy.

Right? There's no like lengthy procedures. You can just tell all you got to do is put your hand in front of your face. And if it's bigger it means you have. Please believe us. Please check right now. It's made billions of dollars of research. This is the only thing we've found that proves it. You have to believe it. I know what it's been in the past this time. It's for real. But God, I would talk to just to make sure

I'm doing it in front of them. I know they're in the room. but they're not gonna hit you. They're not gonna do it. But you have to be close to the doctor with in arms. I know what this sounds like. I know, I know. But it's just so that you can see and measure. I can't really to make sure your hand is there.

So the doctor's a man in your scenario? Yuck. The doctor was a man in your scenario? Um... Oh, yuck. The doctor was a man in my scenario. You never say, Felistat, you're never going to be safe. This is not a safe space. I just want to make that absolutely clear. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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This counts not available in all safe and situations. podcast looking for something to cancel us and this is the future. You're welcome for that one. That was a freebie. That was a freebie. I'll go quietly. I'll walk. Oh my God. Since it's pre-recorded, people will only listen to this in the future. Oh yeah, that's right. It's a sci-fi part. Wow. Hello future people. Oh, what's the air like taste like in the air? I love you. The first quality I imagine. You're welcome for that. We did that.

Oh, is, you know, is how many countries are still livable? Do, are there refugees from Tuvalalu in countries or are they on a boat constantly traveling around the world looking for places? Did we solve any of the problems or did we just fight with each other on the internet? Did anybody do that one trillion tree thing that they said could save the earth? Probably not was the new Marvel phase of movies good? Oh, sorry, yeah. I'm just pretty focused.

What was Tyka's second floor movie? I was like, is that as funny? Anyway, future people, I guess if you make a podcast, that'll somehow come back to us. So tell us the answers to these in your podcast. If you can discover technology that can allow our voices from this podcast to gain their own consciousness and resurrect us, that would be great. That's the best one we can't so far in the future.

Will it be for pretending that a country isn't real, maybe? Well, I think that we've come across this pretty bad. I've literally never heard anything about Lithuania apart from my mums friend and Beck. And Beck, yeah, you can't believe that I existed of genetics. Exactly. No, I don't, you never know. Yes. You're heritage is bunk. What does the mean, this language in Lithuania. Just don't have the answer. You seek. I'm sorry. What is roughly the population? I've got, is it in the Middle East? I've just got so little information. Like how far are we going back in your heritage? Like are we talking like one generation and you don't like your grandparents came from Lithuania and you don't you don't know where it is. You never asked? No but also also I went

to my high school reunion and some of us guy around the reunion when we all got a bit drunk. It was our 10 year and went do you know where anything is on a map? I'm like, no. And they're like, and it was, we all realized that we'd just never been taught anything about geography. So that is the failing of Kilberita College mental. Yes, but also your very personal and deep personal failing to care at all about members of your close members of your family. And the struggle that presumably they went through, I mean, who knows? Lithuania might never have had anything bad happened. I mean, they didn't even leave flared on ball.

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, do you know which one? Oh, did they flee the Lithuanian genocide? Was there one? Vacate your people refugees? She doesn't know? Right, back. Did your grandparents on your father's side speak English?

Yes. Yes. And what did they sound like? Me? Really? I mean, my grandpa's still alive. Oh! But did he flee Lithuania?

Yeah. But he sounds just like you. Ah! Ah! Sounds like you. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa. Oh, that was just a mid song. Oh, we should do the uh, the band.

Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band.

Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the band. Oh, we should do the uh, the two guys who founded Harry's. They were sick of paying too much for raises. It's the shop. Yes, the palm of the wheel. You got to go from behind the little counter. You got to ask for them up there. Like you're some sort of common criminal.

And you got to pretend like you're not about to have sex with those. You got to pretend that you're here, you're buying other things. Yeah, but we all know what you're getting the Harry's raises for. They're so smooth, aren't they? But they are though. They're such smooth, you're here, you're buying other things. Yeah, but we all know what you're getting the Harry's raises for. They're so smooth, aren't they? But they are though.

They're such smooth, you're getting a good such a smooth ride. It's a smooth ride. You get the four blades there. That's right. You got the five blade raise, five blade raise, and then you got that extra little blade for doing under your nose. The, the, the, the, the, you'll never know this joy, I don't think. Probably not.

Yeah, I can shave my undernoes if I want to. Yeah, you could, that could be, you could actually only shave that bit if you want to do. Can I say something about the handle of the Harry's razor? The weighted handle? The beautifully weighted handle. Yeah. The perfectly weighted handle.

You hold it in your hand. It also, it feels like this is what your hand was designed to do. That's an illusion created by the fact that that's what the Harry's razor was created for. But like suddenly your hand feels like it's at home. It feels like the handle is cradling you. Yes. And your hand is a baby. Well, all of you is suddenly a baby again and the handle is your mother.

Mm-hmm. Right? Looking down at you and saying, it's okay. Yeah, and then the... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five...

And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And the five... And you can start crying for the first time in 20, 30 years. The five blades are your dad. Yeah. It's like your family's back together. Yes. And all of that stuff never happened. And the hair that's being pulled off your face are all your worries. This summer, refresh your wallet and your face with a Harry's trial set. It comes with weighted ergonomic handle for easy grip, five blade razor with lubricating strip and trimmer blades for a close shave.

Do you know that this is all going to work out cheaper than buying them at the shop, by the way? Absolutely. And they just come to your mailbox, right? A rich, lathering shave gel that will leave you smelling great. I'm going to eat that shave gel one day, Harrys. And a travel blade to keep your travel blade covered to keep your razor dry and easy dry and easy on the go, dry and easy. That's how I like it.

Listeners of my show can redeem their trial set at harries.com. Fortslash think tank. Make sure you go to harries.com. Fortslash think tank to redeem your offer and let them know. We sent you to help support the show and by the show, I mean to in the think tank. That was so beautifully put in. That was like, you know, one of those big paintings where somebody looks beautiful in it. And it was what you did, but with art. I would give you a gold line, one of those advertising awards for that. But an actual line made of gold, like dipped in gold. Dipped in gold.

It's suffocating. Yeah, it's not well. No, no, the gold's ruined as well. And, and you know what gold's like once it's ruined It's ruined. Yeah, but you could, but then you could combust that line burn off the line Burn the line off and then you're left with that goal get that goal back Really she's just giving you a pool of gold. No, no, no, it's give me a little challenge as well I guess there's gonna be a bunch of carbon stuck in your goal and you have to Give me a little challenge as well. I guess there's gonna be a bunch of carbon stuck in your goal.

You're gonna have to repureify it. I think it's gone still good. There wouldn't be just a line in there. You can pick out and have a look at. Pick it out. Pick it out. Pick it out. Like a fun, you know this.

Like from a lineup. That's the one who bit me. Yeah. A lineup. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. Alistair, can you give us some words from a listener because Should I write down lying up?

No, okay. Oh no, you can't actually, absolutely. I think that feels good. Yeah, is there one of the lines going to be covered in blood and holding still like a human leg in its mouth? Yeah, and that's not the one that bitch here. No, and then there's one of those ones which is just one of those people who looks like a lion from my nightmares

Is that a thing that you have yeah? I Lots that there was I always used to have these nightmares where there would be people who look like lions and there were some Like there's some in real life. I believe my now wife is a bit of a lion person Also steal Saunders from steel wars There's people who just look like lions in the world and they walk amongst us I think my she's in pink looks a bit like a lion. She's in pink looks like a regular domestic cat. Yeah, okay He just has a very kind face does have a guy face. You've got the better the line about you Andy I feel like when your

beard has a bit more. I think it's because you've got a golden mane. But he's a bit goadier. A bit more like a goat. Yeah, a bit golden goat. I think goats and lions are very similar. I'm wrong. It's a goat with a mane. It's your main go. My good one. Yeah, it's the one you keep on your shoulders. But we had to go through one of the works of... Yes, from a listener who supports us on Patreon and we use those to come up with a strategy. You know what I do? And I can't wait to hear what these ones are from one of these.

This is from quite a recent Patreon supporter, but I've allowed them to jump the line just to give them a chance to get up ahead, get a rung on the board. This is from Ali Durkin. Durk's. It's from Ali, the Durk's Durkin. These are the words that she has given us. Thank you so much Ellie for supporting us. pickle. Great. I mean that's snorke. Or porous, porous.

Porous, so that's like it absorbs water. Mm-hmm. Yeah, or vinegar. Oh, vinegar. Yes. It sounds like a bad, hasten, blue month-hole recipe. Oh, yeah. But he's made it look like a hot dog. Yeah, I made this pickle look like a hot dog.

Yeah, this feels like picker look like a hot dog. Yeah, this feels like he's barely trying anymore. I sprayed it pink. He did inject it with frog spawn somehow, just so you can't enjoy it. Wait, is frog spawn, is that frog eggs or frog sprog? I think the spawn is the eggs and then I think they sprog on the eggs. So I think the spawn is just the eggs that could be fertilized or unfertilized. I don't know if there will be a distinction. It's like if you ate it, it'd be like eating the idea of frog legs.

Because it's not quite there. It's like pre-prophetical. Yeah. Pithetical frog legs. They might happen. Shroding is frog legs. Yeah. They might happen. Shroding is frog legs. I mean, they won't because you'll eat them. That's the thing.

Vegetarians, they're like, they're like, don't eat frog legs. But glug, glug, glug, they'll drink frog spawn and they'll drink frog sprog, but they won't, they won't bother them. Do you actually think that that's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, What's up with all these vegetarians? They got two shot glasses in front of them. Right? One is frog eggs. The other one's frog gizzards. And they shot both of them. They don't see, like, there's anything wrong with that. But they won't eat frog legs. Hmm. Because life hasn't, has life started yet?

No, that's not alive. Oh, yeah? There's not a question of when life starts, there's a question of when leg starts. When do leg starts? They don't care about life, they don't care about meat. Leggaterians, they just refuse to eat legs. Leggaterian would just eat legs. Legs are the best part.

That's interesting. I wonder if we could do some sort of statistical analysis to work out overall across the entire animal kingdom, which is the best part. Well, everyone's always like, all the researchers are like, I won't eat anything with a face, but would you eat the legs off the thing with the face? That's true. Legs don't have face unless, of course, the kneecap is the face of the leg. Yes.

Would you eat a worm? Because they don't have faces. Mmm. Oh. But would you eat a worm with a leg? The leg of a cow. What is all leg? Oh.

More neck. Not leg. Not leg. Just a leg. No, you're wrong. It's just walking through the inside of the dirt. You know what? I'm gonna go with a leg.

No, I think the worm is all neck. No, but it's my troll. It could be a leg and the earth is just they just treat the earth like a pant sleeve. Wow. Pants sleeve, the pants have sleeves. It feels like something we've argued about before on the podcast. Because I'm too instantly outraged, but I like no, this feels familiar. I'm just slipping back into an old pants sleeve

Pan is a pan sleeve You put your foot wrist through it Starting with your with your leg hand. It's weird because we We're talking about we're talking about Get your leg out of your foot glove Well pants we don't talk about sleeves. We talk about the pants having legs But then you put your legs in the legs. That's weird Like cannibalism exactly. Yes. That's what I've been arguing subtly through my my leg sleeve comment

The earth is a leg sleeve my leg sleeve coming. The earth is a leg sleeve. The earth is a leg sleeve. The sleeping inside of that sleeve. Falling up. Falling up. Iron it so I'll put the plate. This has degenerated into random noises. Did we write down a sketch idea then? Look, I just said, okay, wait, we haven't gone anywhere yet.

No, but I want to know, I like the idea of the vegetarian shotting Frogs Boarding. And they're far with it. They're far with it, yeah. It feels like I think you should leave sketch, where it's like somebody feels like they're making a good point, but they're not, but they're making it very strongly. I think you could leave sketch ideas,

I still sketch ideas. They've proven that they are by making that show. I think you should leave. Very good show on Netflix, if you haven't watched it. It's very fun. It's a lot like a show that I wish we had made and think to myself privately that we could have. But publicly, I'm reluctant to admit that.

Because it makes me seem insane. Fortunately, however, I don't regard this podcast to be public. Because I'm personal friends with most of the listeners on Twitter. Thank goodness. Please don't tell my family the things I've said. You're Lithuanian family. No! If there is such a thing, you and the other elves or whatever on the other side of the wardrobe. That's us. I think I set your elf voice.

I think that's us. Like ourselves. I think the listeners can still hear us. Yes they can. I think the listener's going to still hear us. Yes, they can. So. Yes, Rebecca. I guess we got to the end of the frogs, didn't we? Yes, absolutely. So we're two next. Well, I still don't feel like that's

the definitive sketch for the porous frog spawn pickle thing. Feels like a side sketch on the way. Sort of like a forward sketch. If you were going to put your frog somewhere, a side sketch on the way. Sort of like a forward sketch. If you were going to put your frog somewhere, and it'll probably need to be porous. What is? No. If you were going to, okay. Like where do you still get your frog? There are some frogs that keep their young inside their mouths. I think that's the gastro gestating frogs, they swallow their own spawn

or like take it into their mouths and they let them gestate in their big old gobs and then they spit out their babies when they've reached a certain age. And so that they never digest their own eggs? I mean, maybe a couple would trick them. Or do you think maybe they don't drink, or maybe they don't eat during that time?

I just, maybe they don't eat during that time. I think that's a good answer, Elishtair. Maybe they don't eat during that time. don't need to drink it. I just, maybe they don't eat during that. I think that's a good, I think that's a good answer, Alistair, maybe they don't eat during that. Maybe they can, they're angry. It would be awkward trying to chew without accidentally chewing your, your youths. And you kind of have like, you know, you know, when you eat chewing gum instead of eating sometimes,

like you go like that. Like I feel like that's what they're younger. It's sort of like a living chewing gum. You sort of tuck it into your chew pouch there. I do wanna know what actually, what is the chemical that chewing gum is made out of? Is it just some kind of plastic or something? Is it made from food,

whatever the chewing part of the chewing gum is? Or is it something that isn't food, that they've mixed with sugar and stuff so that you can swallow bits of it but the actual rubbery bit that's left behind? Have a vague memory from primary school looking through a thing or seeing a cartoon where some like a Native American person got this kind of chewy gum from a, you know, the sap of a tree.

But I don't know. But I do know this, that if you're chewing gum and then you take a bite from an ice cream cone, the material in the ice cream cone gets all mixed up in your gum and it loses its rubberiness. The gum sases to gum gum and then it becomes food But that is but that is the bubbleo bills work Oh She's got you there over an iron clad and full of logic

Hello smashing you like a little tiny cowboy face Well, they can only work because there's no ice cream cone. There's just an ice cream. That's a really good answer. He's got you there over his tiny anvil back. Tiny dad anvil. So the cone is what does it do? I think you're right. But I don't think this just applies to ice cream. So I think this is all, well, I think food. Well, we know that the regular ice cream doesn't affect it.

So what we can't sorry about them, loudness of my tummy what we know now. It's it's basically algebra now Yes, we know that gum is equal to June Ice cream minus cone. Yeah, or no no no food Yes, or no, no, no, no, food minus cone. Food minus cone, okay. Like, oh no, we know the gum plus, that's right, gum plus cone equals food. Equals food. Yes.

And so gum is equal to food minus cone. Now ice cream is a food. Food, or an ice cream cone is a food. Yeah. Ice cream cone minus cone is equal to ice cream. Gumball is ice cream. Gumball, Gumball is ice cream. Go wait, wait, no, I think food and cone, if they're both equal to food, you divide them

by food. Yeah. Okay. And you're equal to one minus one. Gamma's equal to... One. Zero. Gamma's zero.

Gamma's nothing. Wow. Oh my god. Okay. Well, I mean, that's really interesting. And we've just proved that Gamma's nothing. Gamma's nothing. How is Regalee's might all that money?

Well, that's why they've made so much money because they're selling you nothing, there's nothing they- That's why Regalese is the most powerful conglomerate in the world. There's juicy fruits on that juicy all day. Juicy fruit, it's gonna move, yeah. Juicy fruit, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No Chew on that the taste is gonna mum don't move. Yeah, do you guys remember those? No I mean I like it. It's really good now. I'm pretty sure the taste is gonna last for a two I mean, I think maybe proving that You know look I think we did two semi-scaths. Yeah, couple of semi. Sorry, Ellie. No, that's good You got to be happy with that. You're gonna to learn to be happy with that over time. That you know can't be

unhappy. No it's impossible to be unhappy. This is the first sound effect ever on the podcast. Oh I mean it is gonna move you take a sniff Oh, there's people skiing It's big jump up in the The text that takes is going to move I mean the taste will move you in like the way that you do have to chew it to get to it Absolutely, you got to move it and it moves you it's this law fifth law of Law of Diner of motion All right, let's take you through the sketch jazz. Thank you Ellie Durkin. Mm-hmm bless you. Sorry All right, we've got the intestine

is the self-jerking tube. Because I feel like I started this podcast quite fillfully. That's okay, but it's because poop is bump-cone. Yes. We, yep. Then we got all the dads are shrinking. You know? That's an osccold skit.

Yeah, but it's like a yourgoss film. You know, your gossip did lobster. This is, if you make this, it's the the basic rule behind the film. Right? All the dads are shrinking. Then suddenly it allows everybody to become close to their dads emotionally because they can't do anything else to becoming helpless.

But they get, you realize they're going to shrink away to nothing and you've got, you have good limit amount of time when you can still interact with your dad and the way it becomes sub microscopy. They can't get away either because you can just pick them up like a small dog then eventually they'll be able to slip between the fibers in the car for the same thing. Yeah and eventually you could accidentally breathe them in. Then you'll be together with your dad forever. I know, but he'll be suffering The small and suffering In your lungs maybe then you got the inner Bible

Just a bullet stopping Technology I took a real big sympathy. Why do I do that? Just a bullet-stopping technology. It's a moving... I took a real big syphrine. Why do I do that? It's a big moving Bible that slides under your skin. Oh, lots of tiny Bibles. Or tiny Bibles. Or we've also got the full-skin Bible. That's when you cover your full-skin.

You replace your skin with Bible. Yes. And then you remove your vanity and a lot of sinning and you do more reading We went from real dirty to like real real Pious in the middle. Yeah, it's great. And then we've also got it's part of it. It's a separate sketch But similar it's about the Bible church with the Bible priest And it's a it's a whole looks like a Bible museum But it's also the most religious place on earth.

And there's a Bible priest puppet. And you can go and look at all the little dioramas of all these historical events and everything's made out of Bibles. Exactly. Is it Paper Mashaib Bible? You're tearing the Bible up, you're going to be together. Yeah, and there's an eternal fire. It's just your Bible.

It's the Bible. You eat, is the community Bible? Somebody is an older man who stews Bible Staring a big pot. Oh, I've got some Bible turnovers as well Bible soup anyone and Bible just like getting Well, just a bunch of, Bible suit, Betty one. A Bible just like getting Grocer in the corner and make wine,

sort of like Bible wine. For a Mexican to take a bite. For a Mexican to take a bite. No, priesthood, I did beer. You know, I think Bible wine is probably definitely, I think, I reckon we could get something going. There'd be, there'd be bacteria, there'd be beasts on old books,

and that sort of thing. You stew there, ma. I reckon you could pick the specific words from the Bible that you wanted in your Bible wine too? Yeah. Like smiting, like you could just cut all the, those out of the Bible. That feels like a lot of work.

But yeah. Then you get smite wine. Yeah, well, we've got mass produced Bible beer here and we've got a set of artisans. It takes smite wine. It takes smite wine. Spite wine. We've got mass produced Bible beer here, and we've got a set of artisans. They take small things. Fine wine, spite wine. Then we got salt births. That's all the way from Lithuania.

I'm the ancient papils of Lithuania. Like I don't know about, I'm still underside about having children, but if my child is like a salami, then I understand. Yeah, and then you go down Three three floors through your Your tunnel under your one story hot and you go in there into this into this mud cave Salt where you salt in your meats and and your others

where you salted your meats and your others, you know, all the time. And then you're all a little nessed into the salt. And you say, no, son of mine, we'll be looked at like he's an idiot. Everybody will treat him like a wise person. Like that, and you go and you dry him out, you birth. And then you ease your aching wounds from the birth. With some salt. With some nice salt.

Oh, healing salt. You know that same thing, like put salt in the wounds. It's because it's real good. I hate healing. I love it. To make it feel better. Oh, God. And then, yeah, and then your baby will be.

The wise is looking dry, baby. And we've got scientists discover that if you have, if your hand is bigger than your face, actually do have cancer and that's a real thing You gotta trust us please Come on Are you sad Phil? I like scientist sand fell I would not trust Sine to side-feld with anything. Come on!

You got to put your enemy in your veins! Trust me! This is a good new character. It's Sine Phil. S-E-I-N-F-E-L-D. Right? And he's a Sine. He's coming through with Breakthroughs.

But no, believe him! No one believes me! The Earth is warming! You're never noticing a lot of fun near breasts! He's coming through with breakers, but no, believe him! No, I'm believing! The earth is warming! You're not gonna sing a lot on button your breasts! The pretzels do make you thirsty! I have a studies! I've got a peer reviewed! So I did...

Felt. So it's SCIN felt? Yeah, that's great. Is. Yeah, that's great. Is that great? That's great. Yep. Um, then we got, okay, so then we got line up. Wow.

Honestly, this makes me so infuriated for the sketches that I've had refused. The precious line on the pad and yet lying on. I said, should I write that down? You said yes. That is your doing. You see how there was doubt in my voice? There was doubt.

It was punctuated by the question mark. I think it would be a beautiful visual masterpiece. That's right. It would be like a Tatee film. Tatee. Tatee, jaktatee. Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. All right, Frog Spawn sketch, which is

where these vegetarians, they're all they're happy to drink a shot glass of frog spawn and then another shot glass of frog season. Frog season. Jism, but what's that? Oh frog legs is wrong Frogs, Bob. Yeah, do you say frog frog frog frog? Yeah, I said eggs and jism. Oh just Sounds nice. Frogs frog this is better Sprog stump and then we've got the mathematical proof that gum is nothing.

And then we also have cyan felt. Mm. No, well, best sketch out. Thank you, world, you're welcome. Energy is equal to. This is on so far for me, Seinfeld. Oh no. I thought you were thinking of bad son, but...

Oh. They're not giving me any funding. Season two of Seinfeld. Rewatch it recently. Give it another look. Season two. Again, in some ways better than two of Seinfeld rewatch it recently give it another look season two arrogant in some ways better than later season that's one that gives that's one that they get really good after that first season well season two before they

started making all the plots tie up at the end yeah I think it was better small like the yitter like art yeah really like it something after that we just became a mathematical equation yeah I also like this. Something after that, it just became a mathematical equation. Yeah, it's kind of like... I also like this is an ad for Sidefeld. The end of the song. Side and fell. Peacup a copy of Sidefeld. I don't even heard it.

Peacup a copy. Peacup yourself a copy. Get a copy. Yeah. Get a copy. All right, we gotta go. Bum. Bum. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,

bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, Thanks so much for listening to the podcast. I'm at Stupid Old Annie on Twitter. Alistair is at Alistair TV, we are at Two In Tank. We're working the ladies and gentlemen find you back patratus if you get celebrity. Beck, NIS. B-E-C-M-E-S-S. Yes, and on Instagram you can find me at Beck patratus.

My little somebody in name. And then we all have a little way to do that. Yes, just do. Metaphorically speaking. I mean, you just got to engage with your family genealogy little way to do that. Yeah, it's just beautiful. Maniforically speaking. I mean, you just got to engage with your family genealogy and then you find that. And on TikTok, I'm a backness. I just started, I'm your start TikTok,

before I start, I've decided, I'm just going to get back at these people who made me smack myself in the face. Yeah, no, you got to make that smack. Yeah. Or do smack. Well, thank you very much, Bag of Pathetics. Thank you very much, Bag of Pathetics.

And you can support us on Patreon that helps immensely, especially with Andy's financial problems. No, fuck. And you can review us on... We get bonus stuff too. They're just like this stuff. They're bonus stuff. There's bonus episodes.

And then, yeah, there's two bonus episodes. There's bonus episodes. And there's, uh, and then, yeah, there's two Bobonus episodes a month. Bobonus. Bobo. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites.

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