Two In The Think Tank - 198 - "V.I.P. HELL"

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

Open Letter Begging, Power of Eternity, Wunderorld, Emotional Support Zoo, 10 Year Stand, Divorce Room, Break Up Tour, One Rhyme Song, Non Rhyming Dictionary, Cheese Wine GobletHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. So, mega votes, I like porridge. Hello and welcome to Two in the Thing Tank, the show where we come up with FICKET Johties. FICKET Johties. I'm Andy. And I'm Alistair George William,

Trumply, virtual. And I'm already exhausted. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Alright, I think at some point we should just both legally change our names, you know, hyphenate the surname, right? And my name would be Andy Matthews already exhausted. So an Andy Matthews would be your first name? Yeah, I guess I move all the names up one, right? And my first name becomes sort of my zero with name.

Great. And then that becomes sort of tagged on a hyphenated, like a little trailer connected with a little, the hyphen is I guess the coupling. Yeah, it's the trailer to bar. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And my boys already know about couplings. How weird is the effective Thomas the Tank Engine?

And it's ability to teach two-year-olds about, like, technical railway terminology. Before they know about anything about the world, they don't even know about climate change. And yet they know about railway terminology. How are we going to introduce our kids to the concept of climate change, Elastair? Andy, I today was listening to a podcast that made climate change sound so bad that I shed a tear and then I that very thought entered my mind and I went I don't

think it needs to know right now. No and that that's absolutely right. But at some point, like, is that the new talk? Right? Is that the new talk? Like, is it because, you know, I think it's almost irrelevant to tell my children about puberty and that sort of thing, because I suspect we won't live that long. That's not true. Well, we'll be fine because we're shielded by the richness of our country and air conditioning. Okay. So, I suspect that there will come a time when the richness of our country ceases to be meaningful in any way. And the enormous volume of people living in very hot, very low, long countries is going to render richness no longer

a part of the year. They're not going to let them in. Yeah, I know. They're not going to let them in. That's what we're going to tell. All right, is this a sketch idea, Andy? No. Well, hang on.

I mean, it's a grim one. I'm a believer before you can say your sketch idea. I'm a believer in getting things done at the last minute. Sure. Now, I don't think that we will, the climate scientists I was listening to today on the podcast was saying that we can still save things as long as we do a very dramatic turn, like in the second world war, where everybody works together. And we stop basically all CO2 emissions,

which I was listening to while strapping my car. Yeah. Right, now I don't think that we're gonna do that, but I think we could do some third thing, which is that third thing is nothing or that or some third thing that fixes it a whole heap But I don't know what it is, but no and nobody does Nobody knows. Yeah, probably it will probably have unintended consequences that make things worse But at least it'll be on our own terms. It'll be like Brexit, but we're just jumping around today

I know maybe not maybe not worse in a different way. And like, no, maybe not worse. Maybe not worse in a different way. Not worse, just different. Cheesed things are different now, though. You know? Well, it is like that thing. It's like something else like,

oh, it'll kill all brown animals. Yeah. Well, that's better than losing all animals. How many animals are brown? Yeah. Well, this is the thing about like putting Soda, Sulphur, Dioxide into the sky. Apparently, would change the color of the sky, right?

I'm not sure with that. This article that was like, do people have a right to have a blue sky? Well, that's a privilege. That's a privilege. That's a privilege. Yeah. Right?

If you want a blue sky, you got to pay for the augmented reality goggles that digitally manipulate the sky through here blue. Creating new industries. Yeah. Industry is exactly this is the kind of mitigation. This is really mitigation, mitigation technology. This is the next level stuff where we have to mitigate the effect of our mitigation. Yeah, I mean we could start just tweeting Bill Gates and just tell him buy some land and plan to fuck a lot of trees.

I think I look I think it seems to make a lot of sense, right? Yeah, it's like okay you guys are the people who can do things now. Okay, you've got all the money. Yeah. You've got all the you've got to remember how you wanted all the money. You've got it now. You've got it the, remember how you wanted all the money? You've got it now. You've got it now. Now what are you gonna do? Find a really good reason to spend it.

I've got such a good reason to spend it. You want people to respect you? I have got, I've got to call this almost a life hack for getting a huge amount of respect from everybody. All you got to do is save everyone's lives. And you can, you can. How about this? You know that thing that people were saying, we're all gonna,

we're all gonna storm area 51. It's a similar thing to that. Let's say I'm not behind organizing this, right? My hands are clean. My hands are clean. But what it is, it's an open letter to all billionaires. Yes. And the thing is, as you buy, say, $10 billion with a land, and you pay people to cover it in trees, or everybody storms your house. So it's an open letter slash extortion sort of.

It's situation. You have 30 days to do it out of the kindness of your heart. That's good. That's very good because it gives them the power. This isn't a threat. It's not a threat. This is an opportunity. power. This isn't a threat. It's not a threat. This is an opportunity. I mean, now the only point place where I would say that that's not okay is if there's a billionaire who lives at

area 51. Because I hear that they will shoot you if you go in there. So don't do that one. But I can't imagine any billionaire is having any armed guards on their property. Or being paranoid in any way. Or having anything they think is worth protecting. Sure. Or having proven that they're willing to sacrifice the well-being of large numbers of poor people for their personal sort of benefit. Is this a sketch? Yes! Yes!

Yes! It's a new public holiday. No, it's basically an open letter signed by about 7 billion people. Right? Now, okay. One of the problems is that in order to get enough paper to have a letter signed by seven billion people, we did have to cut down a lot of trees. Could we do it digitally? No, because digital signatures aren't worth the PDFs they're inserted into. Alistair, as we both know, I have your digital signature on my Google account, and I can sign anything I walk with you on that one.

Yeah, and I like that. I like that I don't have to open up my digital signing app in order for something to be to be signed because it's a huge bird. I guess this is the new power of eternity. Power of eternity. Oh, I'm giving you power. See, so it's a dying mom. She goes, she's got two or two sons there. I'm giving you the power of attorney. And he goes, yes! Yes, I get to make all the decisions like that. And she turns to another son and then he goes,

and I'm giving you the power of eternity. It's nice. And then he's also happy. I think the power of eternity to me seems like a religious thing, right? Where like you would basically give somebody the power sort of to look after your eternal soul, right? So they will basically do all your praying for you, right? Diversify the portfolios sufficiently that they pray to enough deities to sort of make it statistically likely

that you've got the correct one. Make sort of donations on your behalf. To sort of, you know, basically like a imagine rich people have for their money, right? Who they can't really be bothered looking after it and they basically picturing the people who always end up It turns out stealing heaps of a billionaire's money. Yeah. I mean who would have thought that would happen? If you just put it in there in front of them where they can drool over and said close enough But they can't touch it. The can't do the power over it.

And then make them feel like it says. So you're doing that, but with your eternal soul. So you're starting over something, probably in blood, to give them the right to pray for you and that sort of thing. So what you're inventing is the devil, right? Ah! Yeah, but the devil's on payroll. Yeah, okay.

Right? Yeah, so you're paying the devil. Yeah. So it's like the devil's gone bust. And now you're trying to get him to apply his, he's looking for work. Exactly. And so instead of taking all evil souls, you can control one soul, you know, for like $200 a day.

It's basically so the devil, right, gets rid of hell, right, and now he's doing a start-up. Free lands. He's free lands. He's doing sort of a thing where he'll take on a whole bunch of clients. Basically, you start up, you pay him, right, and he will manipulate things in such a way that you either go to heaven or maybe you end up in hell but he's made the same a lot like heaven. Alright so you want to be able to tell me if it's... That is like... VIP hell! VIP hell!

You can't buy your way into heaven but you can buy your way into the nice bit of hell. It's behind a little rope. And... Oh, it's nice. You're normal. It's all been pretty hastily repainted and stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's very obviously.

And the paint does burn off by quick things. They say somebody did to redo it. And then there's fumes for a while and they're highly flammable. Oh, but they make you feel nice. They do, that's part of the effect. As we know from one of our episodes. Oh, the fume kazoo.

Riding the fume kazoo? That's right. Yeah, VIP hell is very exciting. Yeah. It's sort of like the Patreon bonus. Absolutely, a bonus hell. I mean, what could you offer the devil to get into? Um...

You could have a time share on your soul. Why? I like the idea that the devil just wants money. Sure. So instead of leaving your... I guess he, well, like, when he's on Earth, he probably wants, you know, be great. He has magic powers, but he doesn't have financial powers. Exactly.

He's not a wizard. No. But yeah, so he still needs money for those suits and stuff like that. Sort of fancy cars and so on. Mustache wax. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Doesn't wax itself.

And so, yeah, you just sort you you you bequeath a certain amount of your estate to hear more something like that and you just guarantee you know right there are there are different levels of hell right obviously and some of these ones you don't have to pay very much but he'll give you a glass of water or something like that you know should be, you know, rare. Yeah. It'd be welcome, I would imagine. Is he hollowed out some earth, is that the deal? Or is it like before you get to the mantle? Or you sort of sort of in there, like,

so it's in the crust, you think? Yeah, you think, I don't know, I don't know, that's what I'm wondering. Like there's fire, but there doesn't seem to be that much lava. Or the lava's right at the base, you know, like, so maybe it's right above the mantle. Mmm, mmm. But it doesn't seem to be explosions in there, whenever you see a shot, whatever.

No, no, and there doesn't seem to be like their bodies aren't collapsing under the colossal pressure that they would have to be, even if it was in a gas pocket. Yeah, right. It would still be, you know,'s a high-pressure environment. I probably keeps a canary down there just to make sure and everybody's soul can survive. Um because I guess if you're if you're in a like a deep mind or whatever you have to just keep pumping air down, is that what happens? I guess they used to have like a lot of air shafts and that sort of thing and I guess they are pumping oxygen down there.

I don't know. I don't know what happens. I mean does the air just diffuse down if it's on a cord, just down the hole? It's a fall down, does air fall? I don't know. Or is air sort of buoyancy neutral? I mean, it would get down there eventually. The colder air would.

You know, termites, of course, they push air around through their, their mounds. Using their heads, their own movement causes the motion of air like through, where is that banging? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope the listeners can't hear that banging,

but somebody seems to be just outside the building with a hammer just banging around. And now we can see Ben Russell through the door and he's wearing a hood. And he's looking terrifying. He is looking terrifying. For such a jolly man. Should we pause it for a second?

So the scary face. So that's that's hell. That's that's so we have a we we were just anyway we're done with the stuff at the door that's all done yeah now that's hell done as well. That's hell we've done with hell, we've done with the door, we've been rustle with it, we've acknowledged the banging sound that you may or may not be able to hear. I have noticed that every time somebody mentions a sound on a podcast I've never been able to hear it. Oh, maybe they don't exist.

Sounds on podcasts. Yeah. Here's one of my favorite jokes. Yeah. So when people on a podcast do something physical, they'll say, it doesn't really work on an audio medium. It's probably a joke. I've made several times. I love it. Every time I love heaps. I tell you what a joke that does work on an audio medium, saying that your physical jokes don't work on an audio medium. It gets me every time I'll stay. Definitely works for the crowd back at home.

Yes. As they're realizing it, you know, back in the studio or wherever you are. Mm. But again, it's just a say, it's like you're adding another joke to the crowd at home that isn't going to work for them. Ah, the crowd at home. It's my fine doing something. I think it was vibrating.

No, I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop it from doing that? It's probably a good idea, right? Mm. Sure. We've already got enough interruptions. Um, alright. Yeah. Do you think we should domesticate any new animals? Do you think we're done domesticating animals?

I thought we had already domesticated all of them, but... I don't think we've domesticated all animals. No, right. Right. Like I think there are... Guess there's something that haven't been discovered yet? Um, no, but even the ones that have been discovered, like, you wouldn't say we've domesticated the salamander, right? I mean, it feels like we've probably have domesticated the salamander. But in what way would you consider that we'd be...

Well, I mean, I'm not saying that we've domesticated every salamander, but I think that out of all animals that you could have picked, like even if, like if you said a sh- like a gray, you know, the white-pointed shark or whatever, then it would have been like, oh, yeah, of course, because it's a dangerous animal, so it's hard to kind of domesticate that. But the salamander feels like they're so readily available. And the people probably have them in so many terrariums

around the world. Sure, but I don't think putting something in a terrarium makes it domesticated. Doesn't it? No, I think you have to have like, um... You put it in your domicile and it's own domicile? Yeah, well that's the thing, right? You've put it in its own domicile. Yeah. Right? You have to make a little salamander environment in your house. Yeah. In order for the salamander to to cohabitate. So you wouldn't co-exist. So, but like what about a cow? Do you

consider that a domesticated animal? Hellstead! Once again I was halfway through my argument, I saw the flaws and I thought, you know what I thought? I thought Alice really told me he's really tired. And look at those eyes. They don't look like the eyes of a man is going to be calling me out of this particular slab of bullshit. And yet, and there's a hard rock. Because he were onto me. Like a salamander on a tour, sort of a slug.

Like a salamander on a tour, sort of a slug off. Like a salamander to domestication. I still think that by central point though, I don't think if you looked it up, if you're looking up domesticated animals, a list of domesticated animals, I don't think a salamander would appear. I don't think there's any list of domesticats. Are you looking one up right now? Is this what happens? Is this podcast now one where we look things up?

I mean, I look something up in the last episode and now you you looking what up right now? Is this what happens? Is this podcast now one where we look things up? I mean, I look something up in the last episode, and now you're looking something up. It's all falling apart. I just feel like the walls of the think tank are crumbling and we're now exposed to like the internet. Yeah, and the internet is a horrible place where it could corrupt our ideas.

Exactly. I'm really looking too much reality, seeping. It used to be a place where you could just our ideas. Exactly. I'm leading too much reality seeping. It used to be a place where you could just say some dumb thing and then shout at each other for five minutes. First of all, I want you to know that I think that you only have something to gain from me looking up the definition of domestication because I was dominating that argument up until then, right? Now I haven't read it, but once we get into the nitty gritty here, I want you to know that I'm doing this at my own, like at a cost of winning, so I'm helping you. You really should have quit after you schooled that cow-cook.

Yeah. Domestication is a sustained multi-generational relationship in which one group of organisms assumes a significant degree of influence over the reproduction and care of another group to secure a more predictable supply of Resources from that second group. It's fantastic. So the domestication isn't just something that humans do to other animals So this also applies to like those those birds that keep ants or whatever it is. No, ants that keep aphids, right? You know about this?

Think so. Yeah, and they drink the aphid milk. Oh, I don't think you can do that. This is a thing, right? And they keep the, yeah, so those ants have domesticated those aphids. Do you think a bunch of fungi or fungi has a lot of fungus experts will pronounce it?

Domesticate ants? or fungi as a lot of fungus experts will pronounce it, domesticate ants. Or vats. Or termites? Isn't it like termites have a lot of fungi at the base? Or it's just organisms, isn't it? It doesn't even have to be antigenisms. One group of organisms assumes a significant degree of influence over the reproduction and care of another group. Could just be plants, could be fungi.

Yeah, right. So I guess salamanders are. Well, I mean, maybe we'll leave that to the audience. Do you consider the salamander to have been domesticated? And if not, why not? I don't mean to. And I think, and if not, maybe it could be a beast of burden. You know, why do beasts of burden have to be big?

You can't keep capable of carrying significant weights. We don't always have to carry big things. Sometimes you just want to take a chap stick with you. Why can't you strap that chap to the back of a Salamack? And why does the burden always have to be physical? Why can't it be emotional? We already do have emotional support dogs. But also, yeah, what about a salamander that you, you know, you take your anger out of them? I like that. I like that you have a different emotional support

animal for every different emotion. A dog for when you're sad, a salamander for when you're furious. Rage bat. Yeah. I take a swing at it, but then I remember it contains some disease that's gonna get me get a some kind of rabies like... The hindrovirus.

And you can only get it via a horse. Oh yes, but then I also carry around. Why have any use of VPN? Yes, but then I have my guilt horse. Do you love my VPN argue it? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Will you need to get it through? I like your guilt horse thing.

Thank you very much. I guess we were both very busy at the time. Yeah, I guess. To appreciate each other's jokes. It's like, because the alternative name of this podcast is here's what I was thinking about while you were talking. But it could also be here's what I was talking about while you were talking, but it could also be, here's what I was talking about while you were talking. Of course we came up with that saying that we based off of that podcast that that

Guy Brone Kalella does. Yeah, that Guy Brone. We ripped it off through time. Through time. Time rip. But what do you think about a sketch about domesticating different additional animals? Sure. I think a sustained multi-generational relationship with the newt so that we can then get the

newt to perform functions in our society. So there's not a lot here yet, but like I guess this, this, this, um, It always hurts me so much when you judge whether or not there's enough here in one of my sketches. Just because I know how little there is in 90% of our sketches, Elastin. Uh, we got a lot, these are dense sketches. Yeah, you think this one about domesticating newts. It's not a dense sketch? Sure, but at the moment it was, you know, it was a bit cloudier, it was just domesticating new animals.

And I'm into that. I just wanted something to be a bit like, you know, like, why or whatever. I mean, I guess the emotional support where you have, you know, one for each emotion, you know, I think that was kind of a sketchy idea, do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah? Yeah? Yeah? You need like somebody who has so many emotions that they need to have

Like an entire manasuary in order to deal with their you know all their various anxieties, right? But then I also like Maybe your emotional support dog Because you put so much pressure on it, it needs its own little emotional support. Of course, don't. Like Budgerigar. You're just going to be darling? I don't think so. People don't rewind and listen to whether or not I did that.

Darling. Did you? I don't think so. But... What was that sound you were making? You said, of course, don't. Of course, then, it's probably, of course, then. That's definitely something we're going to be able to go back to. No, I don't think so.

It's some sort of audio. I don't think anybody should. Yeah, I think in process that clip, whatever it is trying to work out, what it was that Alice did sit, because it sounds to be a lot like darling. No. Anyway. I don't constantly call people in my life darling. And so there's no chance of that being a mistake that they'll make.

Sure. Did you find, yes I did. That when you were in, like, when you first go into a new relationship, right? Yeah. There's a lot of intense kissing. And there's a lot of like, when you see, a lot of seeing this person a lot, going to see them and then doing a lot of kissing

straight away. And I'm revealing a lot about myself here. But did you find that like, because you were doing that so much in the early part of that relationship that your it shifts the center of gravity of your mental sort of map of like how to greet people way too much over to the big full mouth kiss and I found that like I would whenever I was seeing someone I would have to like be like not big full mouth kiss and just stop that thought like like when it was just a little shadow of an impulse.

Yeah. Right. Do you ever find that? Yeah, look. I mean, I think I can understand that urge, you know, most of the time my boundaries are up, so then I'm like, I guess I always gotta tell myself, a little don't full mouth kiss this person.

Sure. You know, but then I also sometimes go on, wonder what would it be like to full mouth kiss this person? Like that, you know, you know, bus drivers. Yeah. You know know, bus drivers. Yeah. You know, mostly bus drivers. But, you know what? Yeah, this is where I get off.

Yeah. You know? You, you're lap on that bouncy chair yours. Oh yeah, like, got that bouncy chair. And that big wide flat wheel. Why can't we have that in our double deck of cars? Here's what I want to know. I wonder if Nick Mason's tram seat is as big and bouncy

as a bus seat. Yeah. I'm going to say no, because I think sort of part of the point of the rail system. No bouncing. It's to reduce the amount of bounce. But it could be wrong. Here's what I want to know. Thank. They give you a steering wheel in that tray. I don't know.

Because you feel like you'd want to have someone to hold on to. Yeah, because honestly you wouldn't know what to do with your hands. Yeah. You need a gamble here or something. Yeah, so I mean I guess you just maybe just got to leave a a forward and back. That feels, because that feels demeaning, you know? Like even if the steering wheel doesn't do anything, put one in there so you look like you're doing something. And they should have like a thing above your head that you can pull on and it goes chew, chew.

Mm, mm. Even if it's only you that can hear it. Yeah. All right. What were we just talking about? A whole lot of stuff. The big full mouth kiss. Big full mouth kiss. Oh yeah, yeah. Look just talking about? Oh my God. Whole lot of stuff. The Big Full Mouth Kiss. Big Full Mouth Kiss.

Oh yeah, yeah. Look, I think there's something there. But you know what, I have a more of a desire for. I'm not that interested in kissing people and other Luster Bus drivers. Or having sex with people, Luster Bus drivers. Yeah. All right.

I really, I kind of go to the next step as I go, really would like to know what it would be like to be like five years deeper in a relationship, one on one relationship with this person, and have me be there all. Totally. It's not like, but we're not talking like a wife swap type scenario, because that's the exact opposite. No, no, no, you're trying to achieve. No, no, no, I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to.

I want to know what it would be like to sort of take you for granted, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, it's a very much a multi-dimensional thing. I wouldn't be able to fit this into my life at all. So this would have to be like, I'd have to go. So I think I could only fall in love with someone else now. Maybe if I went back three, four years. Sure. I mean, or let's say six years so that I'm outside of the scope of the relationship I'm currently. I mean, I feel like that's what you were trying to go for with the three, four years. I think you realized how long you've been in your current relationship.

And had to reset the parameters. Now, is there a sketch in any of this? I'm wondering, like... I mean, that kind of is... It's probably just closer to polyamory, but I'm also not interested in that. I also... No, no, and you don't wanna...

You don't wanna... sustain a long-term relationship. No, I just wanna experience it for a day. Yeah, I wanna have a... What is your routine like? It's like I wanna have a long-term relationship one night stand. Mmm.

You know how sometimes you look at your beloved and it's just like... It's just like the first time you looked at each other. You know, that impressionist, right? But then sometimes you want the opposite of that. But you look at somebody you've just met and you want to be able to look at them with the weary eyes. This is coming across as a negative attitude towards relationships, which is not something that I have. But, you know, but it's also okay to be tired in relationships. That's true, it is.

And so I don't want you to think that that's a negative attitude towards relationships. I want you to know that you are within the healthy range. Oh, this is a supported part of that. Isn't it a beautiful space? So look, isn't it? So what this is, it's an opportunity to have a one night stand with somebody who's also in a long-term relationship with someone else, right? But it doesn't happen in reality.

Yes. It's a date you organize where you meet in a dream. And they don't know about it. Yeah, okay. It's just basically, it's a dream thing, you know, because in the end, if you could decide what your own dreams are, you'd probably start having to pick things that you secretly want, right? As long as you don't have to program it in front of your beloved.

Because if you have to program it in front of your beloved and then you're like, tonight I might try a relationship with that person we both know. What it's like to be 10 years in and do it in a relationship with that person we both know. It's like, I'm not interested in being with that person. I just wanna know what it would like to be 10 years in, do it in a relationship with that person we both know. It's like, I'm not interested in being with that person. I just wanna know what it would be like. To be honest, dad.

I'm not interested. I just wanna know. I need to know. That has nothing to do with interest. Yeah. That's the thing. It's a wand. Not a, I'm not peaked.

It's a wand. Not a... I'm not peaked. I like to turn it like this. It's a one night stand, but it's not the first night. It's the three thousand and sixty-eighth night. Right? And I have no desire to continue with this person. No, that's why it's a one night stand. Yeah. That's right. It's not a two night stand.

So, I mean, you would have to have an in-mind display so that you didn't feel guilty for doing this. What do you mean an in-mind display? Well, because, you know. Well, this takes place in the mind. Well, no, you would have to have. You never feel guilty for something that happens in your mind.

I don't actually. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't. I think it's silly to do that. Well, you're probably right. Now I'm going to feel really bad. I'm going to talk about guilty. Well, at least you're doing it outwardly.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's it. Like, I meant the panel where you get to decide what you're going to watch that night in your mind. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah.

Because the rest of it's out there, and your partner can look at it, then it'll make you feel bad because it'll make them feel bad. And yep, you know what? I think that's kind of true, isn't it? Like that's what feeling bad is. Feeling bad is making other people feel bad.

Mm-hmm. Like earlier today, when we got home, I got my son and my beloved home. And then I was in the kitchen getting some food ready. And then I looked over and he was standing on my laptop. You're in your laptop? No, I'm a brand new laptop. And I yelled, a sound in a way that I emitted a louder, more effective, like sort of almost

operatic kind of yell that made him immediately cry. And it was partially because it's like, well, you have to know straight away that you can't put your entire weight on. It was actually standing on two laptops because there was one laptop on top of another. And... Well, see, that's a double standard. You're expecting him to behave in a way to a laptop that a laptop wouldn't behave to a laptop.

I know. And it's complicated. It's hard to parent that way in which you're saying, well, the rules that apply to you don't apply the laptops and that seems unfair. But then after he cried a bunch and he was kind of in his room and stuff like that, I had to go explain that he technically wasn't in trouble for what he did because he doesn't really know that you can't stand a laptop. Even though I think I probably told him once,

but is that really enough to tell a three-year-old the importance who doesn't really understand the value of things and also doesn't? So then I really, and then I have to do the whole thing where I had to explain. Then because I was also feeling bad because he felt bad. And I was like, and I apologized for yelling. Anyway, just started with it anyway. I'm going to write down the thing where you get to decide what you want to watch at night time or anything.

That's kind of a sci-fi. Yeah, it's an in mind display. I guess it probably clips on to the retinal nerve. Right, the optic nerve, maybe. It's probably like you've just found somebody created a program that you can download into your brain that you can operate, and that you can go, you can program through just words saying,

tonight I wanna watch. But not saying it out loud. Not saying it out loud. Because someone might hear. But apparently even when you do your inner voice, you do kind of like mouth it a little bit. They can sense in the, like if they put a little probe or you're learning,

so they can get some microsegnoles or something like that there. Yeah, anyway. And so then, and then so that you have... Well, you want to hope that your beloved isn't like a shark or something who has those sort of electro-sensitive receptors on there on their nose, right? Because they might be able to detect your inner thoughts then via your larynx.

And also, there are shark, right? And we've established, haven't domesticated them yet. And so they might react in a way that is somehow. The other new shark farms are all those shark. I don't think a shark farm counts as being domesticated. So you still think that a cow is not domesticated? No, I think a cow is domesticated, right? Because I think the relationship that we have

with the cow has changed the behavior of the cow. But it's not. Let me go back. So let's say it was a shark farm. Yeah. And let's say we were having, if we were farming sharks, so we were breeding them. Do you think that that would count as a sustained, multi-generational relationship in which us assumes a significant degree of influence over the reproduction and care of them to secure a more predictable supply of resources

from that second group? No. Well, unless we were like selecting which sharks breed with which other sharks and that sort of thing. I think if you're trying to get sharks out of them, that counts as a resource that you are getting out of them. But what control do we have over there breeding them in that situation?

Well, we're putting them in a controlled area so that we're deciding which ones can breed with each other and things like that. So we are doing that. Well, if it is a shark farm, that's what we're doing. All right. Do you think a salmon farm? I don't think salmon are domesticated in the salmon farm. Yeah, because they have, like if you get a wild salmon, you get a regular salmon, you get different sizes and stuff like that. They're different because you control what they eat, you control things like that. You're probably right on this one. I've strayed too far from my

defensive position. It's okay. Once we got into fish, but I do want to know if anyone does have a shark farm because I think they probably don't. I think I could, I should have stopped them. Right? This is what I want. This is what I want. Right? I want a GPS, but for arguments. Right? You know how a GPS says get off at this exit. Right? I want that for discussions, so that I know when to leave an argument. And it's probably usually when the other person is looking at their phone,

so they're not really paying attention to what is probably a very good sketch idea. Are you talking to me? I'm not sure yet, still. Because you are rudely interrupted by saying something about me that sounded like it was about me looking at my phone. That was a bit rude of me. What was your sketch idea, Andrew? A GPS to tell you when to get... sounded like it was about me looking at my phone. That was a bit rude of me. What was your sketch idea, Andrew? Yeah, it was a GPS to tell you, when to get, like a GPS would tell you, when to get off a motorway,

a GPS that tells you when to get out of an argument, right? When to, you know, when you have the best concessions that you're gonna get, I guess this is just like what a negotiated does in some sort of negotiation, right? This is the best deal you're going to get. You need that. But it's a digital. And it's in your mind displays. So your in-mind displays have gone to your retinal nerve. So let's let's put this into practice. So you're at your divorce proceeding. Okay. Okay. Or I'm at somebody else's divorce proceedings because the day that I've chosen to experience their

relationship is the one where it ends. Wouldn't that be great? Oh that would be cool. It's role play divorce. I mean that's fun being that. You get to, it sounds like something that we should have in Melbourne. Yeah, it's like an escape room, right? But you and your beloved go along, and there are people who play the lawyers and that sort of thing, and you get to do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it with your actual partner.

No, I think this is part of spicing up your love life. Yeah, that's right. And then you get to, you know, you get to go through all those arguments, and I'm like, you get this, and I want this, and I want the kids, so they're all like, I know, but in the role play, you're gonna bring up some real stuff.

Oh, sure, oh, sure, but that's the fun. And it's like, man and wife, get divorced, after divorced role play. Oh, this is gonna be good, right? of course after divorce for whole play. Oh, this is gonna be good. Right. And, you know, I mean, I mean, if you want a bit of distance from it,

it doesn't even have to be necessarily your life that you're getting separated from. You know what I mean? But then you have like a fictional property portfolio. You have people playing your kids. That's right, I guess you could do it with fake stuff, kind of like a murder mystery where you're given a bit of a profile on your character.

Sure. But then, you know, but then at the same time, you know what, maybe it is great to just do it with your life and take those risks. Or maybe it's something that you could do, even as like a really early date, you know? I think a divorce, like, you know a way, a divorce is probably a great way to get to know somebody.

You learn what's important to them. You learn what's going on in their life. How much do they earn? What do they do? Also, you see how they argue. You see how they argue, and that's going to be crucial. First date, perfect first date. Yes.

Yeah, so I'll pick your up at 7 and I think we should go and do this great thing. They got this divorce room thing and you go along and they have people playing the lawyers and you get divorced and yeah. Apparently that's even a real thing like with, it's one of the best predictors of like, unless it's going to be a little tiny bit dark, but one of the best predictors of, like, unless it's going to be a little tiny bit dark. But one of the best predictors of, like, domestic violence is very early on in a relationship. A woman needs to get a guy, like, put him in a situation where you sort of say no to them.

Because a lot of the time that's when they, you know, you don't find out until, you don't, you haven't said no to them until much later on. Right. And it turns out that these people who are just like, they have a real anger problem and they don't react well to having a no set to them. Yeah, of course, right? Especially in the early on in the relationship. Early on for the safety. A lot of people on the math kissing. And a lot of just, you're excited, you're saying, yes to things and you overlook things.

They say, can I open math kiss this other person like that very early on that's a perfect time to take test. I'm yeah it is a perfect time to test but it might not be the perfect test. No, no, because you might bring up some other things in the relationship. Sure you're right. And then you might be. But that's them asking. Oh sure.

Remember you're saying no to them not getting them to say no to you. Yeah. Oh yeah. Wait. Yeah. I get asking. Oh sure. Remember you're saying no to them, not getting them to say no to you. Yeah. Oh yeah. Wait. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it works both ways.

You know, Paul Leal also works with men and, you know, saying no to women and depending on... Sure. Who's... Who's... This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts.

Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trends company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Do you think we have enough sketches to go on to a three words? Three words from a listener of the podcast? Thank you, right, Andy. Who gives us these words by a Patreon? Absolutely.

This is the Kings ear and you get to whisper these three words to Alistair by almost any digital medium. And it will keep track of them somewhere and eventually we will use them on the podcast. We've been getting a lot coming in because on the last podcast I mentioned that we are going to need a bunch for the 200th episode. It's coming up in which we're going to be recording for maybe 24 hours and hopefully less. But We've already picked out the meal. We're going to eat because we need a nice soft food. So we're going to eat veggie sausages because I think veggie sausages also stop that that heavy

sausage burp in an enclosed space especially one where you're going to be getting a lot of guests. It's a very sausage based podcast right we've talked about sausages a lot on the podcast and we have decided that yes the veggie sausage a cooked veggie sausage is the perfect podcasting food. Because it doesn't it's not a crunch it doesn't have a lot of mouth noises when you're eating it. No, but it seems also like it's quite balanced. Like there's a lot of different stuff in there. That's right. And they get it to be brown like that.

And then my beloved Indiana suggested that we should also eat a big plate of mashed potatoes. Because it's equally as soft and equally as rich. I reckon we can dip the sausages in the mashed potatoes. We can absolutely dip. And that's what's going to be great is that because we're going to be streaming this thing on the 7th when we're recording it. Won't be actually released to like the 17th or whatever.

So that'll be this weekend for these people who are listening to this. Yeah, that'll be this coming weekend. Yeah. Homeboy. 7th Australian time. Yeah, we'll be starting in 7th Australian time. We Yeah, we'll be starting in 7th, Australian time. We'll be posting it on our Twitter and... Starting on the 7th, but at 6am, Australian time.

6am, Australian time. And we'll be posting it at least on our Twitter, a link to where we're going to be streaming it on YouTube and stuff. I think we're going to probably try to stream it maybe on something else. But there'll be details later on. At the last minute. At the last minute once we figured it out. But those details will also probably be details later on. At the last minute. At the last minute once we figured it out. But those details will also probably be on our Twitter. On our Twitter, maybe our Facebook.

Yes. We should probably use that thing. Oh, that Facebook that we update all the time. God, I bet all those people are really happy that they signed up to that. Yeah. Well, so the three words from Phil Colling. Hey Phil. We, you know, we,

I used to interact a lot. I think he's dropped off actually. Really? I think Phil calling is dropped off and it's understandable. We can't all listen to the podcast all the time. I've dropped off from a lot of podcasts. Some of my favorite podcasts.

And I want you all to know that we forgive you if you drop off. It's not even a question to forgive. We're happy for you. Yeah, I'm happy that you have broken free and that you've found other things in your life. Yeah, whatever it is, and we hope it's just bigger and better things for you always.

We are just happy to have had the opportunity to have this one night stand with you five years in, you know, and have this intimate, in-ear relationship with you. So hold your ears in our mouth. I guess you're in your ear, in your mouth. I guess we're in your ear and you're in our mouth. Yeah. It's like some kind of head only 69.

Yes. So Phil's words are, are you ready? Yeah. Words, words, words. Yeah, very good film. I mean, no way did we specify that they had to be different words. That's right. And, or anything different than words.

The word words. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's actually three words, isn't it? Oh, it has very good. Oh, I see. Yeah. I think you might be fucking with us. But you know what that also is. What is it? It's aligned from Hamlet. Right? Oh, yeah. He says words, words, words. That's right. It's also I think the name of an album by Bob Burnham, which is a reference to Hamlet I think. Right, Boberdom is a reference to Hamlet. Yes. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, he's very good. So. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, there is the whole Hamlet over. And name Hamlet never continues. It didn't. But then I would argue that there's not a huge number of names from Shakespeare's

plays that like you don't meet many Titus and Dronecuses. Oh, I met a Titus, I might be a fake name though. But I think there are Tituses and right now it feels like it will be the... In fact, we might even have a Titus on Twitter, who follows us. Yeah, I think this is a prime time for Tituses, right? Yeah, Titus time. Because it's like, it's a good name a Titus on Twitter, who follows us. Yeah, I think this is a prime time for Titus, right? Yeah, Titus time. Because it's like, it's a good name, Titus. Mm.

It sounds strong, doesn't it? It's a strong, powerful, underused name. So this is perfect for sort of young creatives who are, who are, multiplying. Titus almost sounds like an app. Oh, yeah. You know? Mm-hmm. And, yeah. You know?

Mm-hmm. And um... Well, that's the risk right now if you name your kid Titus. It's a strong enough word, but short enough that it could be an app name. Yeah. So have my niece is called Alexa. Really? Yeah.

Then they named that robot after. My nephew's called Google Maps. Oh, no. Yeah. Brutal. Um. So, okay, sketch ideas. I mean, of a man called Hamlet, who doesn't like pork. Yeah, okay.

It's not enough. No, it's not quite enough. Right? I want to know, I apply the same scrutiny to my own skills ideas as I do to yours. Alistair, that's demonstrably not true. But if you do, you might. You very well might apply the same level of scrutiny, but I think a lot of it is internal, right?

And you probably have like, maybe some things are like a beautifully developed vista in your mind, but I don't always see all of that. As it is with everything, like whenever anybody proposes any kind of creative idea, you know, the thing you hear about the idea, you hear if somebody talks about it for 30 seconds, you're like, oh, that doesn't seem very much to this idea. I don't know why.

I mean, it seems like there's only really 30 seconds of information in this idea, right? But then, you know, if you just let them keep talking or forced them to or give them a development grant or something, see I'm just laying the seeds out there. I'm making people think that giving people development grants is just a really normal and cool thing to do. If anybody wants to give us a development grant.

Oh sure, I mean, I didn't even thought about it in the context of us. I was just trying to do it for the good of humanity. We have a bunch of ideas. We even have an idea generating podcast. That's true. Where we could come up with more. If you don't like our idea, the current ideas, we got more.

You don't like this? You don't like this? You don't like this? We have more. And we mentioned it. It's the end of season. It's going to be the end of season one. Oh yeah, no, we have mentioned that.

Yeah, great. 200 episodes in season one. And yeah, no we have mentioned that. Yeah, great. 200 episodes in season one and then I think season two, maybe four or five episodes. Then Sam in the season three. Yeah, yeah, because it's gonna be that slow season two. And I think we might do a Christmas special, like a one off Christmas special. It's a good idea. And then have a six year hiatus. Yes.

And then a reunion tour. And then a two year hiatus. Yes. And then a two year hiatus. Oh yeah. And then a podcast every day for a year. Yes. Keep people, it's one of those often again often getting things that really keeps people emotionally bouncing around so they don't know what's happening.

But I think not a lot of bands that have broken up announced, do a big announcement that they're gonna stay broken up, right? That's true. Get back together just to remind everybody that they've called it off. Yeah, oh, like a reunion breakup. Yeah, you know?

Maybe even take the breakup on tour, right? Break up in different capital cities. On stage for money. Sure. Well, playing their songs. Yes. Oh, you can feel the tension tonight. I think they're gonna break up again.

Well, they did say they would. It's on the set list. Should that be it? They broke it up at every other concert this tour. The breakup tour. Yes. I mean, somebody probably has called every other concert this tour. The Breakup Tour. Yes. I mean, somebody probably has called the tour, the Breakup Tour.

Yeah, but this one's the band Breakup Tour. Yeah, good. That clarifies really, really well. Words, words, words. What are those synonyms? I don't even synonyms. Synonyms of each other. Don't wait, let me look it up.

Yeah, no, they are. Yeah, they are synonyms. Words, those also mean words. Yeah. Um, I mean, you know, it's one of those things we're like, uh, in rhyming dictionaries, right? They always have you talking a word, and it was give you a bunch of words, right? That rhymed with that word. It's like, just give you the same word back again because sometimes people enraps or whatever. Rhymer word with itself. That's one of those rules that you

think you shouldn't be allowed to break. Yeah. And then people do it all the time. You know what's fine. You know what I would like to see? Yeah. The one song where all the rhymes are the same word again. Oh, you know, probably does that exist, you think? I went downtown to get myself downtown and went all around to the bend and then I got to bend and it's so fun to have this much fun and you never know why

because you never know why I thought it was literally just gonna they were all gonna run with the word town then we just get every every sentence was gonna end with the word town well you could be get every sentence was gonna end with a word town. Well, you could do that. I went downtown to find a funny town. And then that was, Brown Town was that funny town. And then, and then I sat in town,

and then I went, and then I left the town, and then I went, away from the town. And then it was like Like it's so bad in a town anymore. So many levels like it's comprehensively bad. I know you weren't trying to make it bad But fuck Andy there was so many runs come up so fast And you have to just fill it in with whatever words are available

Like you're sitting on the ground just grabbing the camera to you surrounded by blocks Just picturing my kids around my blocks just grabbing the blocks that we're in with arms reach the ground, just grab and they'll have to picture you surrounded by blocks. Just picturing my kids surrounded by blocks. Just grabbing the blocks that we're in with arms reached. You don't have time to think about what blocks goes with what? This is the worst analogy ever. It's a little like any you're surrounded by one block. And you keep picking up the same block and then looking for another block to pick up. And then you see the block that you had just picked up but dropped and you pick it up again and then as you're looking for There's a pitch for you. Look, it's the one rhyme song. It's it's it's it's a you know everyone

If I'm you know the rhyming dictionary. Yeah, right? I've established that's a thing, right? This is the non rhyming dictionary, right? Of a established, that's a thing, right? This is the non-rhyming dictionary. Because you only need the rhyming dictionary for like probably like one in every 10 words in a song. But for the non-rhyming dictionary, you need words for all the other words. So you type in a word, right? And it gives you all the other words

that don't rhyme with that. And you can, those are the ones that you can use Building up to that word. That's true. Yeah. That's a good one. It's not really a sketch idea But I think it is a terrible idea for addiction. It's a website idea Yeah, because we all know rhymes on yes and Jack Drus has made fun of me for assuming that everybody should know rhymes on I think everybody knows Rhymes Zone. Yeah? No.

No, one time I said, I said out loud where it worked. And I said, and somebody said, what's Rhymes Zone? And I said, you don't know Rhymes Zone. And I was, I was, look, I tell you what. And how shocked would you be if you heard find out somebody you'd know about Rhymes Zone? I mean, as shocked as if I saw my son standing on a computer, standing on top of another

computer. That's right. You would shout. Yeah. Well, I was mocked for being as upset as you were just then. Yeah, wow. So people, isn't that correct? This is Jack Trussies.

He doesn't know this yet, but he's going to be the first guest. You were the victim of mock mockery, right? That's right. If you thought, here I am, let's all get together and mock this idiot who doesn't know about rhymes, I then suddenly they flip the whole thing around on you, you're the one getting mocked. This isn't how this was supposed to play out.

No, that's right. So it was also a shock mock. Yeah. I got a shock mock or mock shock. That's something you find in rhymes, I'd. But you can also find that in another anonym zone. If you typed in a different word. If you typed in a different word, like Bagonias.

That's right. Shock would be in there. And so would Mark. So would Mark. Right. I mean, a lot of words that do run, come up in the rhyming dictionary. Just not, they don't rhyme with the word that you're looking at.

That's right. Not a lot of things will actually come up if you put bologna into a rhyme dictionary. Yeah, and if you're just interested in quantity of results, rather than quality, I've got to recommend to you the non-rhyming dictionary. That's right, yeah. If it's more about heft,

volume, then it is about sort of pristine run, like pristine numbers. Anyway, whatever. To non-rhyming dictionary for prose poets. Oh, yeah, that's good. Because prose poetry, not real poetry, in my opinion. Call me unfashioned, but I think that all poetry should rhyme. Yeah, I think so. I mean, you gotta admit, it feels better, doesn't it?

It does. The other thing just sounds like you're talking. It feels like a bit more work. Yeah, it feels. I mean, you have to stop. I just don't even consider just type of this into a certain... Just do the work it takes to make it good. Yeah.

I mean, you called yourself a poet, right? Anyway. Yeah. Um... No, but I mean, there's a sketch idea in the... Like, let's all admit that poetry doesn't rhyme isn't very good. Yeah, I mean, is there a sketch idea? Where would you put that? Where would you put that in the question?

Is it a government thing? Is it a petition? Right? Can we get a petitioner? Maybe. Could we get it to a referendum? I mean, that's probably what you'd have to do. Do you think that we could somehow? Because it's hard to get like language evolves, meaning of words changes. And sometimes words mean things and also

other things and people don't know what they mean when they say different words. But what if we decided, well, poetry has to rhyme? I'm sorry. Can we get we get that in as a like the definition of poetry as being something that rhymes? Could we get that written into the law? Be know who's likely to change the meaning of a word? Poets. Poets. Fuck. Yeah. They got so much access to them and they're dealing with them every day. Yeah. Yeah. And they often have a platform. Not not a lot of them, but a few. No, not a well-attended one. But you know what, if I was the president of wherever this is, and I had to elect a poet laureate, I'd never elect one that didn't rhyme.

So maybe not a sketch idea. No, but I think we're okay. Alright, shall I go through these sketch ideas? Yeah. We have an open letter signed by billions to save the planet out of the kindness of the heart of a billionaire, or all billionaires or else we'll raid their homes. Ride their homes. Yeah.

It's a nice threat, you know? Because also, I think probably raiding the home of a billionaire probably wouldn't set them back all that much. I know, but they'll be in it. Yeah, and then what, we also punching them and stuff. I'm not saying that. No. Well, you're not saying any of this stuff. I'm not saying that. No. Well, you're not saying any of this.

I'm not saying any of this, Andy. I'm just saying, they should do it out of the kindness of their heart. Or else. Not or else. No, I mean, it's not. It's just that if they don't, we're gonna raid all their homes.

Is that what I'm like at all, or else? No, it's not or else. Or else it's too threatening, Andy. It's just, if you don't, they're not connected. Mm-hmm. It's like your words that they're seeing in his causation. I'm saying it as correlation. Mm-hmm.

Inforced correlation. Oh, not enforced. People can't do it. People cannot do it. And many people won't. But a lot of people will. And we have their names on this piece of paper. Then we have the power of attorney. When sun gets power of attorney, one sun gets power of attorney. How amazed I got written down. You see? That's a clear sketch. That is not a clear sketch. You know, okay, well, you don't see the jealousy

between the suns. One is a big show off. One's a big show off, all right? And he's rubbing it in the other guy's face that he gets power of attorney, all right? And the other guy gets power of attorney. I think he's much better. Turns out he becomes essentially like an infinite wizard.

Oh, that does sound good. I don't realize he became a wizard. Well, what did you think I meant? Did you think I meant something that was boring that you, that you wouldn't like? Yes! I meant something that it was fun and that you would like. Oh, I should have assured. Well, you're making the wrong, you're making a huge mistake by assuming the other one. Yeah. They don't have VIP hell.

This is good. Now this is a sketch. It's a classic sketch. Classic sketch. Yeah. That's no power of its ability. It's a little rope, eh? There's a little rope.

It can be. Yeah. Some will. The VIP help people are behind. Then we got emotional support animals, one for each emotion. Yeah, great. Yeah, a whole, a whole, you know, a barnyard.

You got your dog for when you said, emotional support, barnyard. It's, it's my, it's emotional support domesticated animals. Got a shark. I tell you, she had so many issues, she had an emotional support zoo. You know, I'm doing a little hand action. I get it. You're joking off. It's a visual

joke on an audio podcast. What you want to watch dream things so you can have 10 years in one night stands. Why are you right that down to a lot of detail? Yeah, well, you know, there's a few ideas there. It's a meeting, you know, but you didn't remember what that was, right? Yeah, yeah. We got the divorce role play escape room. And you go with your partner,

it's a good first-aid thing, go in, get divorced. Yep, wonder if you could eat? You know, like, do a lot of these divorced meetings, are they catered? They'd be a platter. Yeah, they should be like, they got to get sandwiches or something. The lawyers are making so much money from these things. Yeah. They've got to put something down.

The worst comes the worst. You could bring a block, you know, a block of cheese and some wine. I'm picturing a kilo of block. Plus, I like one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you all what. Yeah, good. Is that what this called hard cheeses?

This is, you know what I reckon you could do? I reckon you could get one of those kilo blocks of cheese. Carvered out. Poor wine in there. Oh yeah, make it, it's a cup. It's a cup, right? But it's also a bit like an ice cream cone. Oh yeah.

You sort of nibble the sides as you drink down the wine. Yeah, and then you could start, you could just start with like, it'd be one of those like, you know, like one of those cinema cups that you get that's got Batman on it or something like that. But it's just cheese. Yeah. Yeah. I guess if you're a fits of whole block that you've just

curried carved out, you could, you know, save the rest at home for maybe spreading on pasta. Mm-hmm. And then have the cup for, you know, you're gonna write out. Yeah. Oh, that's a meal and a drink. Oh, it's, oh, we sell it as kind of like a mold type thing. Um, you know, it's, it's, it's a mold M-O-U-Well-D.

Whatever the one is where you like your poor, you pour liquid cheese in there. It sets and it makes a wine cup. Sure. Mine out of cheese. I reckon the cheese goes different after you've done it in there. It sets and it makes a wine cup. Sure. Made out of cheese. By making the cheese goes different after you've done it. It does, doesn't it?

Yeah. It might not hold as much. Anyway, then we got... I think you should write that down. Yeah, all right. You know, it's a cheese cup. Cheese. Wine cup.

Wine cup. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. That's a good product. Yeah. We could sell that here. I'll go have an on make one right now. I'll make a prototype. We could drink wine.

Oh no, we can't drink wine during the set 200 episode. We're gonna go to sleep. Well, we can have one, we'll have one to celebrate at the end. Okay, a cheese stop. If I remember to do this, it'll be the best thing ever. Okay. I will carve out a kilo block of cheese and make some wine glasses.

And we will make one kind of wine. Red wine? I think it's gonna be a white wine, right? No, I don't know. I think you have one, you have one and cheese. It could be red wine. You're right. I think it'll look more spectacular if it's red wine.

Like, I think it's spectacular, I mean, disgusting. Yeah. It could be the it's spectacular, I mean, disgusting. Yeah. It could be the best thing ever, have it? And by the way, we're talking like a kilo block of black and gold brand, like tasty cheese. Six or seven, eight dollars a kilo. Yeah, I feel like I could cut a single block into three cubes and get,

to give you a good size. I think you want, just think... ...a good size. I think you want... Just cut it in half. Okay. So we got two cups. Okay. Yeah.

Not three cups. You don't want to cut it into three. Well, I feel like then, we're just... We're not going to have enough volume for liquid. Okay. Yeah. Alright.

Well, I'll work this out on the left. Who's the third person you're thinking about? The picture in Cali would be there for some reason. I'd for it. No, that's very unlikely, isn't it? But she might be. There could be someone there. That's true. The third one is for absent friends.

Oh, see that's nice. But they could drink swing from the bottle. This should be something that we'll offer on Patreon, right? If you, we'll make a new Patreon here. And if you pay $25 every month, I'll send you a new set of custom carved one. $25. Yeah, well it's a lot of work.

I know, but I'm saying it's going to cost you like $9 just for the cheese. Yeah, okay. So it's not enough. It's not charging, you're right. It's just the amount of labor I'm going to have to do. And then it's labor and. I'm not charging them enough. You're right. In terms of the amount of labor I'm gonna have to do. And then it's labor and then post it. Yeah, not your. This is not worth it.

I mean, it has to be like a hundred or two hundred dollars. Okay, a two hundred dollars. You also send it to have to send it refrigerated. I will. That's gonna be expensive. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably have to be freight because a lot of listening is overseas. I have to pack it quite well because they'll break, right? They'll crush.

Yeah, they will crush. So then that's a lot of like hard packaging that you also have to buy. Okay, all right. Well, listen, stop to work through. We'll get there. We find a price point that will make you happy to continue doing this. Yeah. But if you can get, say 10 people paying for that, that's too great a month. And this just becomes my life.

Just carving cheese. That sounds like something you would want to do. And so that does. You could start a cheese lathe. I think of all the offcuts. Oh yeah. I'll be dead in a month. Well, I mean, you could start a grated cheese company on the side. I think of all the offcuts. Oh yeah. I'll be dead in a month.

Well I mean you could start a grated cheese company on the side. Grated cheese. Probably where on that grated cheese comes from. Well where else would they get it from? From the cheese lathe. From the cheese lathe. Do you think you're working on a lathe? I'd hope so yeah.

I'm going to make them rounded. What do you think you'd need a bore? You're probably going to need both. Yeah? Yeah because you'd need a bore? You're probably gonna need both. Yeah? Yeah, because you want to round it outside, you get that with the light. And then you're in a plug. What the hell I'm gonna do that?

Maybe I'll have to get a big drill bit. Yeah, oh, you just have to get it like a chisel and then have it spinning and then just go inside like that and just carve it out. But then you need a big tarp out to catch all the cheese. Yeah. That's gonna fling everywhere. We can talk about this way too much, but I love it. I'm really excited.

Because you could make a cheese wine glass as well. If you could get that neck thick enough to hold the weight. Yeah, you're probably gonna have to get a harder, more structural cheese there. Not like a parmesan. Like a parmesan. That's a big block of parmesan, and that's expensive. That is expensive. That's a. Not like a parmesan. Like a parmesan, and that's a big block of parmesan, and that's expensive. That is expensive.

But that's a carving cheese, the parmesan. Absolutely, yeah. That's what a dream. And people, no, that's an event glass. You know, you save that for special occasions. Why am glass made of glass? Why would you save that for special occasion? You can use that as many times as you want.

Nobody's saving a glass made of glass? Why would you say that for a special occasion? You can use that as many times as you want. Nobody's saving a glass made of glass for a special occasion. I think we have some wine glasses that are like, they're almost too nice to use. Wow, that sounds pointless. Smash them. It's almost like the horrible, what else is it? They're not a burden. I just use them for non-special occasions.

Oh, good on you. All right, I think that's everything. If I go through, we've got one rhyme song. We've got the bad, the band breakup tour, we got non rhyming dictionary for pros poets, the only real poets, even though we don't like poetry that isn't rhyming. And then we got the cheese wine cup,

not even cup scenes like it diminishes how valuable a thing is to be, it's a goblet, it's a, ah, it's a goblet, it's a goot of goblet. And you do goblet. It's a goblet. It's a gobble it's a gobble it. And you do gobble it. It's a goblet and you gobble it. Well that's all the copy written out. They think sell themselves I had fun man I think accelerated that that bit at the end there. I think you can tell when we find something that excites us and you can never pick what's good or excited. No, I mean, I would have thought,

you know what would have thought, I don't know. The force roleplay would have really excited us. I would flip it. It did a bit. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and what's that even, what ledist, what they get, I have the cheese cups in the, I think that's what. Yeah, and what's that even what latest, what they get, I have the cheese cups in the,

oh maybe, I think that's what got us to the, oh we were really excited, I know, but, but it's amazing how, how minimal our passion for the divorce escape room was, compared to the cheese cove, you know what they give you a little platter and a divorce role play? What's that?

Divorce de Vos. Divorce de Vos. Divorce de Vos. Divorce de Vos. Divorce de V that? Divorce Durbs. Oh. Divorce Durbs. Divorce Durbs. Divorce Durbs. Divorce Durbs. Yeah, Divorce Durbs. It's really good at me.

What? One of the things, that's like a kid's joke. You could have that for, you know, like a Christmas cracker. Did anyone down this joke? Um, I got told off. I was at a wedding the other day. And I was following her. Following her, the waiters were going around with the canapes. I had to keep chasing after them. I got told off by the matriot D.

I said, I was only following all derbs was he a Nazi yeah it was a Nazi it was at the hey that's a great reveal yeah it was at the hey it was a Nazi wasn't one of the sort of Dutch people. Um, so anyway, I'm on Twitter at the stupid old Andy. And I'm at Alistair TV, and we're at Two In Tank, and you can support us on Patreon if you'd like to donate words, or if you'd like to donate money, or $8 to get the bonus episodes, like sci-fi try guys, or a really fun new episode we went up yesterday. Yeah, there's also also you can review us, which makes us feel really good when it does happen.

Yeah. You can... But we don't expect anything. We don't expect anything. And remember, remember the best thing that we want from you is view to stop listening to the podcast and go on with your life. And be happy. And be happy.

And find other things. Yeah. You know? Hey, why don't you send us photos of you doing things that aren't listening to the podcast? Send us a photo if you listen to other podcasts. Yeah. It's kind of a cuckold type thing. Yeah.

I'm going. That really excites us. Yeah, we're podcast cucks. Can you send us a selfie of you in the mirror with showing another podcast that you're listening to in the reflection with showing another podcast that you're listening to in the reflection of the phone. Yeah, ideally a really, really popular podcast that definitely doesn't need the listens. Yeah, and one that would actually bother us if we saw you listening to that.

Yeah, even better, you know, because why not send us a photo of you like signing up to their Patreon or or or be giving them a really good review on iTunes or something like that. I would love to see that. I would love that so much if like you could get some sense of money to Mark Patreon or be giving them a really good review on iTunes or something like that. I would love to see that. I would love that so much if you could get some money from Mark Marin or something like that. Yeah, Mark Marin or who's that guy who does that? A chapo trap house. Yeah, if you can send us a photo of you giving money to chapo trap house, that would make this feel really good in a weird way.

In a good way though. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. In a weird way. In a good way though. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to tune into the 200 episodes. The string! When we're in Australia. Yeah. Seven.

And we'll put it in a second. Six AM. We do a countdown on something on Twitter, probably not. It'll be very early in the morning. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you.

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