Two In The Think Tank - 204 - "NOT FACEBOOK"

Episode Date: October 15, 2019

Plurali, Water Allergy, NFB, Nnilk, Anything Out of a Cow, Noblerone, Chocolate Truck, The New EroticHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereSick and ripped thanks to George Matthews for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Generally didn't know what I was gonna say then. Yeah, even though I knew it was gonna be my name Wasn't it all confident with how it's gonna come out? Oh, of course caught up in you saying your name And I enjoyed it so much. I thought maybe I'll say that name for a change But also something you know pure improv like that you know like having to come up with what you're gonna say next. Can be hard. It can be. It's amazing. Make up a name right now. Okay, garlic, no ma. Yeah, you see? You can't be done. Okay, you come up with a name right now. Rambotor, sifthead. Siphad. Yeah. Roll the tour siphad.

Yeah. Yeah. Come up with a name of a building. And, G-Groffna. G-Groffna Tower. Tower. So yeah, add tower on the end of anything.

It sounds legitimate. Yeah. All of a sudden. Well, I found even towers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is that the plural of tower? No, I'm not sure. Or is it might be its own word? Tower eye. Tower eye. Do you think that the

discussion of what the plural of various things is? Yeah. Is like the plural of discussing the plural of things. Is it discussing? I think I think, right. I someone, you know, people are always doing a study and they're working out like, what is the cost of the economy annually? Love people fucking getting a cold. Or people getting stuck in elevators or something like that. And there's always like $7 trillion from people getting stuck in elevators. And they're like, oh, that's high. Because numbers that up. That's one of the things about numbers being out up.

But then, as anybody looked That's one of the things about numbers that they add up. That's right. But then, as anybody looked into the cost annually, like how much productivity is wasted, where people correcting each other on the plural of various words, right? And ultimately it comes back to, like every time you look at it in the dictionary

or something, I'd like to put a plural of platypus, they're like, well, actually platypia isn't correct. Technically, platypia, topides would be correct. But the convention follows what is most commonly in parlance, which is platypuses. So you're like, all right. So, you know, they wasted my time in the conversation. My time looking us up now, they wasted your time writing that entry in the dictionary.

Yeah. Right. What do you reckon that is per year, right? It's gotta be up there with traffic accidents or dementia. Yeah, dementia does take, you know, take its toll, but they're not to the same extent, you know. It's, um, look, yeah, I'm gonna say it's up there.

Yeah. Unnecessarily plural conversations. Do you think that's a- there's a sketch in this? Yeah. And this is- How do you feel? Yeah. You know what? I think it's, you know what's up there. Like, okay, here's a way to put this into a sketch. Yeah. Right. At the start of the year, at an office, right, they get a consultant in who tries to tell them how they're gonna streamline things. And he's done the calculations

and he's worked out these are the kinds of things that cost a lot of time in the business. And people correcting each other on their plurals. That's not gonna be, we're not gonna do that in the business anymore. He says we're just gonna use asses. Yeah. It's a pretty good format. Streamline the plurals. It's like this thing be, we're not going to do that in the business. He says we're just going to use asses. Yeah. It's a pretty good format.

Just streamline the plurals. It's like this thing that, you know, apparently they've worked out, they've done studies. So if you eliminate right turns entirely, and you just make everyone do left turns, right? And even if they want to turn right, they just do left turns all the way around the block until they're going the way that they want to go. That saves time. You're actually better off exclusively everyone just doing left turns.

Then you are. I do that a fair bit actually. Yeah, right. Yeah. I refuse to implement it even though I know it's a thing. Well, I heard it one. I mean, look, right now it doesn't save time. I don't think.

I think maybe if everybody was doing it all the time, maybe that would save time. But because I think. I think maybe if everybody was doing it all the time, maybe that would save time. But because I think all those lineups of people wait to turn right. I guess in the US, it would be where people wait to turn left. It would be, is that the... Yes, so, yeah. What do you think? Ah, the study was probably down in the US and it was actually, it's better if everyone turns left. You know, even though it means going across traffic, waiting ages. Even if you want to turn right, it's just a quick single little turn there. It's crazy. It doesn't seem like it would make sense, but if everyone waits and then goes left,

and then goes all the way around the block waiting every single time, you wouldn't think it works out, but it does. Is there some places you couldn't get if you just turned left? This is interesting to me. This is very interesting. I reckon we could prove this using like end-dimensional maths. Yeah. Okay, maybe not in this physical reality, but we could invent one.

Yeah, like you could, I mean, there might be a couple of places. Can you invent, like, you can have planes, which is like a plane where where there's only two dimensions or whatever like that. I wanna know, fuck dimensions, I'm not interested in dimensions anymore. I'm interested in directions. I wanna reality where there's only two directions, right? That's probably just a two-dimensional plane again, isn't it? Forward and left.

There's no right. There's only two directions. There's not right. There's no right. There's no right. There's not a full dimension there. There's no back, yeah. Could this be a thing? I think I've been invented a thing. Is it like, I guess, you know, like those sort of,

those bridges, those like rope bridges when you cut off the back of them. Yes. You know, and it starts to fall and you're running. And you're running. So let's say it was quite wide. Okay. And you could go forward and a little bit left.

Yep. Because you've got a front side as well. And as it's falling that way. As it's falling, as you're running, it's falling. So there's, you can't go backwards. No, it's not. Because there's crocodiles down there. Well, backwards is into empty space.

Yeah. And crocodiles, which is, you know, yeah, but we're talking about the plane, the plane of the, it's collapsing. Yeah, of the, of the actual, really, I think, Alistair, you've, you've absolutely cracked it, right? Mm-hmm. It's a half dimensional plane. It's, it's, well, it's, it's a dimensional construct that is changing. The parameters of the dimension are changing.

Like, why does the parameters of a dimension have to be fixed? Okay, if the dimension itself is evolving, then that is possible that there will be. It's becoming a blast-oys. It's evolving. It's becoming a blast-oys, you know? Squirtle than the other one, then blast-oys.

Sure, it's evolving. Yeah, that's plain. One of the Pokemon is plain of whatever. Sorry, I should have been, I should have been cool with your, you think Pokemon talk. Your Pokemon talk. Yeah, it's okay. Sweet.

Wait, before we got into this, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there is something in this, but something in this, but it's we got into this. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there is something in this, but it's not what you would call a traditional sketch. No, but like, I think that there could be a town whose claim to fame is the only town in Australia you can't get to by turning right. Like, you can't get to by turning left. Sure. It's the most left place in the, in the country.

The most right place in the country. No, you can get to right places. You can most right place in the country. You can get to right places. You can get right, yeah sure. How, like what is the place that you couldn't get to? So let's say, wait, it's, okay, you go to the top. Let's say it's a top right corner. And then it bud, it's a little bud off the top right corner.

And there's only one street that goes there. And there's not enough space to turn around. It seems like there have to be a one-way street going past the town, right? So the town is passed not by a traditional motorway, which has cars going in both directions. It's the town that's passed only by a one-way street. Yeah. Right. So you can... And that street loops around and then doesn't join up to the other one.

It's another one-way street that's like a single lane that doesn't allow you to turn into the other one-way street back. Yeah, yeah. And then... And then so to get there, you've got to basically drive across the entire country and then get off again coming back in the other direction. And then so to get there, you've got to basically drive across the entire country and then get off again coming back in the other direction. And then in the town, there's all these, and in the town, there's all these, there's all these like plaque arts that are like, people have said that, you know, if you only turn left it would be quicker. But and if ever, if ever that was to be implemented, no one could get to our town.

So it's like the flame to fame is very thin. Yeah, very thin, and based on this sort of analogy, this anecdote that I just came up with, is it an anecdote? Is this theory or whatever? Yeah. Yeah, cool, man. Is that a sketch? No, it's something. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, cool man It's nothing. No, it's so thin. It's wafer thin. It's like a whisper. It's like a whisper of gauze No, I know, but if you would see through it probably if the light was behind it or something This is what I thought when I was going to the bathroom before yeah, it's a film It's not based on the movie how Stella got her groove back Okay, but it's how Craig got his ring back.

Yep. I mean, I've got a title. Yeah, I feel like you can sort of, you know, it's almost like a dude wears my car kind of movie. You know, and that's, you've already got, like, you've already got a plot. The guy lost his ring.

You know, at some point, he's lost his ring. Oh, yeah, I mean. And he gets his ring back. You know, what the exact definition of ring is? Oh yeah absolutely. I don't know. You know and I think I think the ambiguity around ring could mean that maybe you don't really necessarily have a plot. Like I think you know but that's only when the the the title of like the movie Saving Private Riot. Right. If you don't know what the word private means,

it would be arguable that you don't really know what the plot of the film Yeah, exactly. The private riot is from the title. I don't think I knew what it meant. Right. Well, you're telling me that you have a plot for this film without knowing what the... One of the key words in the plot means. I know, but you've already got to, like, the idea, you still can, there's still a plot

to saving private rights. I love that you had this thought of what I thought at the toilet. I like, and to you, this is a fully formed thought. Well, I mean, yeah, because like, within it, it contains a whole film. Sure. Because look, saving private right,

even if you don't know that a private is a medical guy or no, I mean, is a military guy, you could still know that someone is being saved called Ryan. Yeah. And he might just keep to himself. And that's a plot. Yeah, okay.

He's in trouble, possibly, because he keeps to himself. Right, and really the film, until such a time as you see it, and it sort of collapses the wave form, the probability wave form of exactly what it is that the word private means. It is a sort of a shroding as plot type situation where it could have multiple plots. That's right, and it probably does.

And that's intriguing. It's got a lot of B stories. I guess every movie has multiple plots until you've seen it all the way to the end because any good happened. But also within when Craig got his ring back, or how Craig got his ring back, I mean, there's enough there for you to be,

for your interest to be peaked. And I love that it's got nothing to do with the movie has still got a groove back. Well, you don't know that. Oh, it might. It might. Yeah, it might. Okay.

You know what? I'm convinced. Yeah, you know. Oh, I and my studio are going to fully fund this production. Well, I'm not saying that the pitch is complete. I'm just saying the title is complete and all you need is now to write the film. Yeah. You know, so look, you don't know that the ring is not like a ring of, you know, VHS things

that it keeps in a ring, you know, like, he keeps in a circle of all his favorites, sort of early 2000s, late 90s, all black cast films. Right. So not the movie, the ring. No, no, no. I mean, they could be that. They could be. That film could be in The Ring.

I'm just saying, how Craig got his ring back, that's a film. I bet you, if there's any film producers listening to another going, he's right. He's right, that's a film. I've made things that have less plot. Now you're talking about keeping VHS tapes in like a circle on the ground. Like a butt-cake mold. Yeah. Okay. Like the mold for a butt-cake. Yeah.

That occurs to me that that's probably the worst way you could possibly keep VHS tapes. Really? Yeah. On the ground. So, taking up. Why did you say on the ground? Is that what you said? On the ground? He's giving him in a circle on the ground. Well, I didn't mess with the thing that was on the ground.

I was featuring it as a box that was round. Maybe we're some sort of... A round box. Yeah. I mean, that's still bad, right? Because that's not an efficient use of space, right? And the happy layers theme for the VHS is just one layer. It could be, it could be one layer of, you know, many layers.

Maybe he's got a, a pile on in his, in his house that he's hollowed out. Yeah. Like a load bearing pile on that he's hollowed out and he's decided to still wear all his VHS tapes in there. Like, like, like the, just, just the very idea of storing VHS tapes in a circle, whether it's on the ground or not doesn't necessarily matter. Like, I think that is the VHS itself, right, now so redundant, so deeply and viscerally redundant.

I mean, it's still working. If you watch it, it wouldn't. It wouldn't. For our modern purposes of what it means for something to work, it wouldn't meet any of our parameters, right? But but then to store it in such an inefficient way as to lay it out in a circle. But what if you could spin it? It is so willful and bloody minded that I love it. It's got a it's beautiful. And I wonder how Craig got that ring of VHS back. Yeah.

Well, how did someone get it away in the first place? It seems like a complicated thing to remove. Because you wouldn't even be, I'm picturing it a big enough ring that you can't even carry it through a door. You know, so like to get it through a door, you've got to tip it. And that means that all the VHSs fall out onto the ground. Well, I think as, you know, I mean, it might have been in the last episode, you came up with the idea of hollowing out part of the earth

so that all that earth could support itself like a full archway, like that. And I think that the same thing would be, would work for the VHS tapes. You'd put them on their side like a wheel and you could roll it in. They all lock in. You could roll it out.

But if you tip it even slightly more, they all fall. That's right, it's actually probably one of the best ways of traveling with VHS tapes. Because it's the only way of traveling with VHS tapes in which the tapes themselves could become part of the car. Part of the former transport. Yeah, you're right. I mean, we gotta find,

if there's a company still making VHS tapes, they ain't got a van, they probably at this point, they're putting a van, like, what can we, how can we get paper to buy this? What if we tell them they could put them in the wheels of the car,

buy a VHS tape? You can put it in the wheel. You can put it in the car. What do you think about that? You imagine a big tractor wheel like that. You put them in there and if you live at the top of a hill, all right, you could put them all in there and then you get in the wheel with the tapes

and then you roll downhill down to your friends place who's got the VCR. Yeah, sure. And then you can watch. Yeah, how about this scene in the movie? Yeah. hill down to your friends place who's got the VCR. Sure. And then you can watch. Yeah. How about this scene in a movie? Yeah. Alright. So man goes up to a big factory, walks into the middle of a field.

Right. He's alone. It's the gold now. The sun is just setting. Right. Light is on the stalks of wheat. Right. And he walks out into the middle of the field. And he's naked from the waist down. Where's the growing up top? Just a sort of a frilly kind of like pirate shirt, like from that science episode, right? He's got a big knife in his hand, he walks up to a big tractor, right? He plunges the knife into the wheel of the tractor. Right, he pulls it down. Right, like that. Does it blow up or is it like old? Uh, it's, it's like like like like, like, well, just listen and hear what happens. Right.

So he plunges the knife in and he pulls it down like he's cutting open the belly of like a shark hanging up on a hook. Right. By the side of the ocean. Sounds like it doesn't blow up. Right. Like that. And then just all this blood comes out. Right. Out of the time. Like that oozes down, it runs down his hand, stains his white puffy jacket.

Yeah, sure. Puffy shirt from the side felt. Right, and then he cuts again across, right, in the opposite direction. And he makes like a T, and he peels it open, right? It's full of VHS tapes. Right. I see it end up with Phil. And the blood is the guy who had ridden it down the hill?

No, no, no, no, no, this is literally, I mean, this is just like on a tractor in the middle of a field. It's just in the interesting scenario. It's intriguing, isn't it? Don't want to know what happened? Absolutely, you open up the film with that. Yeah.

And then later on, that's the wheel that you find out the craigs got to get back. The craig was the ring. The wheel was the ring. Yeah, the wheel was a ring. It was a ring. Yeah, well, it's a ring of tapes. Yeah.

I mean, every wheel is a ring, man. Yeah. I don't think that's that wrong. Or wrong at all. Or ring. Or ring. Is there anything? Is there anything we can write down here I don't know if there is but it's a whole lot of talking oh man it's so much talking I'm

a little bit tipsy yeah great yeah I'm so have had three beers well two and a half yeah and that is absolutely my limit for getting a little bit tipsy these days yeah that's good maybe it always was but I'm certainly more aware of it now. Yeah. Oh, just I'm just always dehydrated now. Well, I'm, I can't, I cannot get dehydrated. Are we just beyond the ability of like... I don't think my body absorbs any liquid.

It just passes it right through when I drink. Oh, go get this out of here. Yeah. Oh, it's on this water. Get it out, get it out. Yeah. Yeah, what? Oh, foreign body. Mm.

Water. Body of water. That's probably what it's thinking. Do you think your immune system ever just attacks water and goes, oh my, that was just water? That would be a story in like a tabloid or something like that. One of those ones that even feels worse than the regular magazines, poppy magazines,

but one that's like, I'm allergic to water and it's the story of a woman who's allergic to water. I think it would have to be a woman. I don't think you'd be interested in the story if it was a man who was allergic to water. And so she can only drink brine. That's right. And then she has dating troubles.

Not, you know, I mean, not because it's a woman. It's always about dating. Well, I think maybe the thing is she's married to a man who works maybe in like the public water department or in the tuna canning company. Tuna canning company. Right. She met a man in the tunning.

Because there's no water in Brian. Well, there is, but once you add anything to it. Yeah, once you add anything to it, it's suddenly a solution now. Right. You know, and the body, you know, there's ions in there that mask it. Yeah.

You reckon? I think so. I think maybe the body wouldn't recognize water. Like, if there was salt in it. Yeah. You reckon? I think so. I think maybe it would have body wouldn't recognize water. Like if there was salt in it. You think that the water would like the individual molecules, right, there's a molecular water there. Yeah. And there's like a membrane of a cell there, right? And the cell sees the molecular water, but then it sees a molecule of like sodium, right? Iron, a sodium ion.

And it thinks, oh, there's no water here? You know, actually, this is a weird thing that I know this now, but in the creation of life, right, the fatty acids that make up the membrane of a cell. They have, they look like a lollipop in terms of their structure. Really? And the lollipop parts are love water and the stem parts, a hate water.

Really? Yeah. And so it means that the lollipop parts kind of naturally come together and stick together and start creating a circle or a sphere like that. And then all the lollipop stick bits kind of point inwards. Yeah, inwards. Right. And that's how they trap in like amino acids and RNA and things like that.

And then so it naturally just starts to, but when they're salt present, that doesn't happen because the salt destroys those fatty acid things. But I think if there's amino acids present, then the amino acids protect it. From the salt. From the salt. So I'm just... This is a real rollercoaster. This is... yeah.

This is... I read this on the Atlantic. Yeah. But because they were going, well this happens, and so this could have been the beginning of life But it would have happened in a salty environment Because it would have been in the ocean or whatever and so that wouldn't be able to happen But in the presence of amino acids it does happen and then those amino acids gets wrapped in there And then they're most likely you know because it creates a separate environment from which

All a bunch of chemicals can bang together and stuff like that and sort of could life have started in fresh water though? What does it have to be in the oceans? I just I'm not sure if this is... Does everybody agree on the idea? I'm just not sure back in those days whether or not there was a distinction Well any fresh water because there might not have been any land Really? Yeah I'm not sure

Was there a period when there wasn't any land? There would have, there's always been land, surely. I'm not sure, because if things were still cooling off and it was still too hot. Yeah, well then there wouldn't have been any water. Yeah, that's true. There wouldn't have been any, actually. I'm just not sure. I'm not sure. There might have been, but you might be right, there might have been a point in which the earth was like,

it had cooled down, right, to the point been a point in which the earth was like, it had cooled down, right, to the point where all the rocks sort of subsides and then forms like a flat base and then all the water spreads out evenly over that. And then the tectonic plates haven't started moving and raising and lowering sections of the crust to create land above the water. And then when things were hot enough that there was too much water and things were, water was covering everything, but not, it was cool enough that everything was water, but not so cool that everything was ice and sort of expanded in the creates.

Yes, yes. Yeah. We could be onto something here. I think it's like 750 million years into the creation of the year. I guess it was just right. And see whether or not we get our Nobel Prize in 50 years time. Well, I mean, I'm not right about this. I am mostly just regurgitating things like that.

No, no, no, no, but there's got to be it. But in 50 years time, there's going to be a Nobel Prize for regurgitation. Honestly, no one will have... No, what? At a certain point, there won't be any new things to do. In any fields of endeavor. And then the Nobel Prize will just be for who's the best at sort of doing a version of what it was. You know, when they start giving sort of, you know, like golden globes.

Is it golden globe of music when? What's one of the music ones? The Grammys or the R. Yeah, a Grammy for the best cover. Exactly. They must have to give in some cover. I'm sure, I mean, certainly, you know, hottest 100, you'd be getting, you'd be getting all sorts of covers on there.

I'm sure Bob Dylan's won Grammys for albums of like covers of Frank Sinatra songs. Or like even like, he's doing now. Or like even older, old folk songs that are like, you know, been for a hundred and a bit years. All folks songs. Really old. Mm-hmm.

Um, look, we don't have any second sketch yet. So, lady, lady who only drinks brine. Is that... She's still briny. Brionny? Like the one of brionny? Yeah, I was trying to. Yeah, I mean that works.

That works for me. I judge over the gap. What is the sketch with this lady? A lurgic water. She's allergic to water. Lurgic to just pure water. Right. Well, she says she's allergic to water.

Right. And then, and then, like, and then she's like, well, I can, but I, you know, well, I can. So I have to drink salt water Mm-hmm, and then they're like well, let's still water in salt water. She's like oh Well, it still works. Well, then I just guess I just don't like it. Yeah Yeah, but a taste weird Yeah, I don't know I can't She just says that she can't she can can't, she can't be doing it.

I'm allergic. Well, you go, I go like this. Laugh. Yeah. Is that a reaction? Yeah. Yeah, I can. I have a reaction.

What's the reaction? Laugh. Laugh. Yeah. Oh, I don't think that's an allergy. What? Yes it is. I, uh, a reaction's involunt voluntary, I'm not doing that on purpose. I'm like,

I couldn't. I don't know why I do that. Um, yeah, that's enough for me. That's enough for me, especially in season two. Season two, the bar has been lowered. That's a season two idea. Yeah, you won't believe how low the bar is in season two of two in the think tank. Um, season two in the think tank. Alistair, yesterday you tweeted a tweet that was like, no man has all three, two arms, three arms, four arms. You know, got a couple of likes and then I replied, well, I think a man who has four arms has all three. And then you deleted the tweet. Why? Why did you delete the tweet? I couldn't.

I've been, I deleted a lot of tweets at the moment, but also I couldn't, I didn't understand your reply, but everybody loved it so much. I was wondering if you were uncomfortable with the success of my report. Well, look, that was fine, but I think it was because I was like, Did you feel like you'd lost control of the tweet? I mean, obviously I'd lost some control of the tweet. But then also, I didn't think that your thing made sense. So you wouldn't let me have it. And I just, and I didn't have it in me to argue with you in it.

I go, I didn't want to go know it doesn't, because, because five, was it five or C, 3 or 4? You said 2 and 3 and 4. That's right, yeah, and you said 4. But 4 doesn't contain 2 and 3. Yes, it does. A man with 4 arms has 2 arms. But he doesn't also have 3 arms. Yes, he does.

Well, I always picture 5. A man with 4 arms has 3 arms. Yeah, I was picturing five. A man with four arms has three arms. Yeah, I was picturing five arms in that case. I thought in order to have both. Andy, look, obviously now it makes sense when I see it. But, but also, I mean, if that's the case, Alistair, then surely a man, like if I'd said, I'd be in with five arms does or a man with six arms, which I think would have been a lot funny from me, right?

Afterwards, I was like, I should have said, a man with five arms does. Don't, don't, brood on it too much. I was just in a general feeling bad kind of mood. I was, I was also worried that somehow I'd made you feel bad. No, no, no, it was all right. It was pre that I, if I'm on Twitter, I'm feeling bad. Yeah, right. Because then you did a tweet where you said Twitter sucks, right? And I was like, no, no, it was all right. It was pre that I if I'm on Twitter. I'm feeling bad Yeah, right because then you did a tweet where you said Twitter sucks right and I was like oh I feel I feel bad time me doing this little response to his tweet. I feel bad about even that tweet and I can't wait to

delete it You do such good tweets And I'm always locking them and retweeting them. Even your one about the two arms, three arms, four arms, when I saw it I laughed out loud because I was like this is so funny and then it wasn't until later I was like wait but I'm mad with four arms and I thought I'll just get involved right but then that made you feel bad. It didn't make me feel I was already feeling bad. Didn't make you feel good did it? No but it's fine. I was just not in a good place. I was at home being unemployed. Yeah. And then, and then losing control.

I just did this one tweet, and I can't even stay in control of the narrative. I already had a head. You in no way should feel bad. Look, what about this? Yeah, please get involved in tweet. I'm not going to be a good person. It's already out of hand. You in no way should feel bad. Look, what about this? Yeah, please get involved in tweets. What about this? A new reaction for Twitter.

It couldn't, you just couldn't take over. Yeah. No, no, no, I meant, I mean, it couldn't. I've had those, you know, I've had those posts on Facebook when you post a, you try to post something funny. Yeah. And then one of the comments underneath gets way more likes.

Yeah. I just could, I was just a day where I couldn't have that happen. I was just, I was exhausted. Yeah. I was exhausted. And your tweet was outpacing. And I was like, we're only like three likes away from this happening.

And right now I can't deal with that. Yeah. And I'm sorry. I'm normally not like that. Well, and then you just, you just like, you just cut it off. I kill it. Yeah, you kill it.

You salt the, you're gonna fly. Is it not gonna get shit now? Oh no, this is, you know what, I'm deleting my Twitter account. I'm starting a new Twitter account. I do that almost weekly. I deactivate it. And then sometimes within five minutes, I've reactivated it.

You fully deactivate your Twitter and then you can reactivate it and you don't lose anything? Oh yeah. That was the cruelest trick that social media platforms ever pull on us, right? Like that first time I deleted Facebook and then it was like but just so you know Your account will still always be here if you want to come back. I was like

Yeah, fuck you've got me. Yeah, you've got me because now it still exists Yeah, people can still still still be able to see it. Maybe not I don't know if they can I I Interesting I I don't know if they can. I'm interesting. I wonder because I reckon the last thing Facebook would want would be for you to like look at a friend list or something like that and see a bunch of them grade out like see that people have left Twitter because that would be the worst thing for them knowing that you seeing that

people aren't there. So much of their power comes from the feeling that everyone is there, I think. They might just remove your name, like you know you just can't be found for a bit and they go, I haven't been able to find you. And you don't even look for people you can't find on Facebook, right? Like, like, unless you see people, unless people are popping up, or at least they're responding to things, or other than that, you're just like, oh, all they don't exist. Yeah. You know, what about this? Right. It's a new thing called not Facebook, right? And what all it is, it doesn't do, it doesn't have any functions, right, except that you sign up, right? And your name is on there, right? And so, and then when people go there, they can search and they can see that you're not on Facebook. So that's nice.

That would be a real bragging right? Exactly. Look at me up on not Facebook. I'm not there. And maybe you can message people on Facebook. Oh, but a metal walk. And maybe you send them like photos and stuff. But what about people who are not on not Facebook?

Oh, there's a thing. I've got just the thing for you. Yeah. Facebook. It's Facebook. Oh, there's a thing I've got I've got just the thing for you. Yeah. Facebook. It's Facebook. Oh, did you think that do you think I thought you were going to say not not Facebook? I was going to say that. Yeah. Yeah. And then I stopped myself. I think it was a really good decision. Thanks. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments.

Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Um, is not Facebook a sketch? I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. In season two, we don't talk about sketches that ants would like, which by the way we haven't done for ages. On season two, we talk about sketches that season one, Alan Andy, would be disappointed in us for.

Oh, yeah, good. I think that's good. That's the new parameter. Do you think they'd be disappointed with any of the sketches so far? No at all. These guys are good guys. Oh wow. They're just trying to make it just like everybody else. I don't think you know those guys very well. No, not at all. Or maybe we should make them out to be really real ourselves. Yeah. Well, they would have shot on this. They would have killed somebody. Yeah, I like that, right? Because that proves that we're we're better than there

We're moving forward in that we don't we're not so negative Yeah more we're more positive now when we took over the podcast from the guys who used to do it Mm-hmm also known as Andy and now yeah, Andy and L1 and you know one We took over the podcast from then we thought we're gonna do things do things a little differently. And this is now a safe space. It shouldn't be all about sketches. No. That was a mistake. That was a mistake for this podcast.

And we're happy to take it in a different direction. Obviously we're keeping the name and we're keeping the tagline, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. Those have got a lot of cash hay. They go back almost to the beginning. To be honest, it's one of the main reasons people are here. Sure.

But we're slowly turning this ship around by very quickly, not doing that anymore. Something I'm just going to say. What about new milk? Yes, okay, milk. Oh, are you sure? It sounds so much like milk. But it's just like, the N and the M,

to make them sound so similar, and then to put them next to each other in the alphabet, is inside. It's actually double N, double N, milk. Yeah, okay, great. Like that, so it looks like an M. It looks like an M, but with an extra line. But. Yeah, okay, great. Like that. So it looks like an N. It looks like an N, but with an extra line.

But it's new milk and- Lower case, lower case N. Yeah. Yeah. And it's lower case N, I know I've written this down without there being a sketch here, but you can't even get old milk anymore. Wow.

So just overnight there's no milk. Yeah, there's probably been some bovine, some bovine flu or something like that that's killed everything. Okay. Right. But then the dairy farmers had brought in such tough laws stopping anything but milk coming from a cow or a goat or whatever, being called milk, that they realize they are now stuck. They're the people who have access to agriculture. They've got the means of production, right? But they've painted themselves into a corner and now they can't call anything but milk,

milk. So now they're making some new thing. They are. Even they have been caught up in their own thing. They're now squeezing wichty grubs, right? And then adding corn flour. And then they just use grub juice and corn flour and they mix that together.

And it tastes just like milk, pretty close. Pretty close. It tastes just like pretty close to milk. Yeah, and it's a little bit powderier. Okay. Because it's a tiny bit grubbier as well. Yeah, it's good. Most people don't know what grubb even tastes like. Exactly. So they're just like, I guess this is what milk is. But it's white and it's pretty liquid. That's their slogan. Yeah, they get Michael Clim out. Mm-hmm. And they've started homogenizing it. So that makes you feel good.

They keep the homogenizing. That's what keeps me coming back to milk. It's the homogenization. I don't want there to be any layers. I don't like the flavor of milk. But what I love is homogenization. It's all consistent all the way through. Double and ilk.

I just wrote something down, right, which is riffing on your thing. Yeah. Right, so this says anything out of a cow, I just wrote on my hand, right. So I like that the farmers in their zeal to try and stop people who make soy milk or almond milk, being allowed to call their products milk. Right. They, in their definition, they said that it has to come from a cow. Right. And what they didn't specify is that it had to come from a cow's other. And they left the loophole that technically now, anything you get from a cow, you're allowed

to call milk. Cow piss. Cow piss. Cow shit. Cow shit. Squeezing out the. Calchit. Calchit. Squeezing out the, whatever's in the eyeballs of cows. I think in their tongues, if you just, if you just ring out their tongues.

Yeah. And this is, and this, and now, so in revenge, right? The almond milk and the soy milk people start just getting any liquid they can out of a cow and calling that milk. And it trashes milk's brand. Oh yeah, that's great because the people are like what I don't want milk it's so oozy. Yeah.

And slimy and... And it tastes like piss and shit and I and tongue liquid. This is in the supermarkets everywhere and you can't tell which is which. Which is which? Because they all called milk legally they're allowed to call it that. Is that a sketch? I think that's really good. Yeah.

Right. And that could be why milk was ruined. And I mean, I don't know why. I don't know why they would then call it milk, because try to mask it as milk. Try to make it look like milk. Well, maybe they've set up their printing presses for the labels

in such a way that they're really good for printing the letters I okay and then something that looks a lot like an M. Like a sigma that's on its side? But I want to go back to my point about why have they put the N and the M so close together in the alphabet? Made them look so similar. Made them sound so similar, right? It feels like, you know, that that is like some evolutionary, if the alphabet, right? If the alphabet, instead of being an alphabet, is like, because you line up all the letters like that right along, but instead of that, they're like, the alphabet is like, because you line up all the letters like that right along. But if instead of that, they're like, the other bit is like, when you line up those pictures of all the people evolving from an ape, remember that? Like you got the person, the little ape,

and then there's standing a bit more. You're asking me whether I know that image? Yeah, that image. But I'm trying to lay it out. Yeah, yeah. But the audience, right? But that, but like an alphabet, right? Yeah. But I'm trying to lay it out. But the audience, right? But that, but like an alphabet, right? You can definitely see how the N evolved into an M. You think the M, you think the N came first? Well, at least chronological, you know, like in the line up there.

If it is an equivalent image, and I'm proposing that it is. That's my thesis. You can see the link there. The evolution is there is clear. All the other ones are a bit harder to justify, probably. But I do see that. In fact, I wonder if we've rearranged the alphabet before. You would have. We have.

But I think we should rearrange it to put it in alphabetical order because we thought that it wasn't. But I think we should rearrange it in an evolutionary order. So it looks more like it, because the H, this is a thing that I'm very aware of, teaching my sons about the letters in the alphabet, the H in the end are very similar. The U being like an upside down N is an issue. The confusion between the lower case L and the uppercase I is almost insurmountable. But yeah, I would like it. Because they're at an age where you're so focused on teaching them these letters that you forget to teach them about context. I have no interest in teaching my children about

Context. Yeah. Why would I fuck with context? Yeah, you're right. I'm details. Hmm. You're mr. Details. I will teach them each individual letter I'm gonna teach them what those letters sound like. You know, that's not my problem. I've started doing a bit of this because my Otis doesn't know the letters looking at him so your kids are way ahead. You're right. Yeah. He doesn't know them, L, L, L I'm phonetically teaching my son the word total right. Why do you think they're trying ultimate? That's exactly what I was about to ask.

Why are the people from the total are they? Why they got to be so like that? What made them be like we're going to do a different shape, a different extruded prism, three dimensional prism to everybody else. I guess the rollo people did those little circular ones. That's just Cadbury again though. But Toblora and they really pushed it out. And then there was that time in which they made the gap between the things.

So big. So enormous. Casms. Is that erosion? Is that because of erosion? I mean, I guess it could be tectonic plates. I guess what created the things. Casms. Is that erosion? Is that because of erosion? Yeah, I guess it could be tectonic plates. I guess what created the things because I mean it's supposed to be the the the Swiss Alps. I think it's specifically the Matterhorn. The Matterhorn. Where's that in? That's in Switzerland. Okay. The Matterhorn. So it's that real triangular mountain

they go. And so it's just one mountain. It's not a range. I mean, there could be a whole range lined up behind it. That's true. I've only ever seen it from one angle. Could we go back? Yeah. To the end. Was there something about just teaching your son the word total range? Was that a sketch?

Well, no. Let's see. But I mean, why? Yeah. Are you selling it as advertising to the company? Oh, that's really good. I mean, what? This is interesting, right? Because, okay, brands they want to market to us, right? And you know

who they want to market to more than us? Our kids, right? They love the idea of being able to market to our kids. Well, now you've got, that means you've actually got, you think your powerless because of the power of advertising, but actually you've got a lot of power. What if you tell those brands, well, I'm only gonna teach my kid to read your brand name Yeah, if you pay me a certain amount of money. I'm a gatekeeper here, right? I can I can cut you off of this source. I mean you can still market to them in every other way imaginable But it when it comes to actually reading your brand name You got to go through me you want to get to my son you got to go through me

What would it be worth while to you would it be free toblorones or would it be like, I'm taking free toblorones. Because I love toblorones. Because I can read the word toblorones. And once I could read the word, they were in. They were in. I can't keep them out. I can't forget how to read toblorones.

So like, let's say that you have to send them a video. Every time you send them a video of your kids saying tobel around. You know, maybe you put on YouTube, then they send you a tobel around. But I do like the idea that you're only going to teach him the word. It's not necessarily that he's saying the word. It's sure. Right.

Yeah. Like, you know, and I think eventually every word in the English language will be owned by a company. Right? Because when Coca-Cola trademarked the word, enjoy. Do you remember that? I didn't know that. I feel like that was a moment. I was probably around 1718. I remember that being in the news and I was like, oh wow. So we can't use that. We can't use that. We can't use that. You can't use that. Andy Matthews. I think you can't use that. So we can't use that. You can't use that. No, you can't.

I think you can't use that if you're a brand. Yeah. But who's to stop them doing that more broadly? But could you say that Andy and Andy Matthews is a brand? Maybe. If you're doing like posters and things like that, just called enjoy Andy Matthews. Yeah, I would probably be in trouble.

Yeah. I think you should do it. Just to get just to get I mean, to roll her off side just troll Coca-Cola. Trouble is is like you know, it can be news. Yeah, That's great advertising for you. But I think at that point, you know, the only power will have left Is to not teach our children those words that are owned by those companies Sure. Yeah, so then you just I guess you could filter, you know, like an internet filter rather than just having sort of R18 kind of content that you're filtering out There's entire words that you could filter out as well. That is a type of filter, isn't it?

just not you know and I wonder if there's other ways in which we can deprive our young of the ability to experience parts of reality. I guess if companies that like start, you know, a trademarking say certain vitamins, you could be like, well, you know, my son's not getting any He's not going to have any vitamin C Yeah, that feels like it might be making him more at the mercy of that company. But if they have a branded a certain color, there's no reason to say that you couldn't give him glasses or him or her. I'm only saying him because I only have male children. And I only have a male child.

Correct, right. But you could give them glasses with some kind of a filter that stops them from seeing that color. Sure. And then, you know, Cadbury, they trademarked that purple color for the wrapper of their chocolates. They want to unlock the ability

to see that color in my child. They got to pay me $700 a month. Sure, alright. Alright. Because I control that mind. And I'm not a bad parent. I'm a good parent. Trying to make a bit of money on the side.

Okay? And my kid could easily buy $700 worth of Cadbury a month. That's what makes it worth their while. You don't know because there are some kids who, people, especially with chocolate, people go crazy for it. 700 dollars is low. And he could. And he might run one of those charity things.

You're, you're son. Selling the charity chocolates, or as you run like unicef, or something like that. Like he buys them in bulk to sell them to his charity, to this, you know, upsell them. Oh, wow. Yeah. I wonder if there is that as a job, right?

That like, it's a sort of a meta charity that you buy, instead of buying those little boxes of those charity chocolates. What you do is you have a truck full of boxes of charity chocolates. Or maybe even a truck full of trucks. I'm not sure yet. And you drive it around to different charity chocolates. Or maybe even a truck full of trucks. I'm not sure yet. Yeah, no. And you drive it around to different charity offices. Truck carts. Yeah.

That are kind of like small, you know, like go carts, but they're like trucks. You know, so they're like ones that close to the ground. I've got to tell you, my boys would love this. Yeah. You know, you sit close to the ground, but you got a big, you got a big sort of, you know, load, you know, maybe it's like five foot high of just space that you could put boxes of chocolates in there. So you get, yeah. Right, and I drive a truck full of those around, and I stop outside various charity headquarters,

and I go and I say, you want to buy a truck full of charity chocolates for charity? Yeah. And they're a charity. They can't say no, because they know what it's like to chocolates for charity. Yeah. Right. And they're a charity. They can't say no, because they know what it's like to be a charity. Mm-hmm. And I'm raising money for some Uber charity. Like Uber. Uber.

It's forever. Yeah, I think that's a, yeah, that works. Charity. That works within the, uh, charity box, chocolate box. I'm not sure if that's a sketch, is this good? You don't think that's a sketch? Yeah, that's a sketch. The Alistair, in the scheme of the other things

we've written down, that is such a well-formed idea. Small truck. You know what's crazy? That like, remember when you're a kid, the only thing that you really wanted was to have one of those little electric cars that other kids got to drive around in. Yeah, I really wanted that.

Generally the best thing that you could possibly have. And then when you become an elderly person and you're in firm, you get one of those electric wheelchairs, which is basically that. But nobody treats that like it's a great thing. And I think it's because they don't make those elderly mobility scooters look enough like a little car. Yeah, like a little jeep or a little Mercedes or something like that.

They make them look like it's own thing. Yeah, no. Like it's made for old people. Yeah, make it look like a little car. Yeah. I think it's a real problem. Yeah, I think you're right. I'd be so excited about growing up. I would love a little electric car that I could drive

around in right now. Whenever I see those people with those electric cars at the airport, I'm like, you know, the coolest guy here. Yeah, you must get all the girls. It's like a little, um, one of those, like a four-wheel dirt bike. One of those ones. If you could have that for around, you're a quad bike. Yeah. If you had that for around the, you know, just around the streets,

but you know, one that looks like a quad bike, it's just a, it doesn't look like a quad bike. Well, it could. No, it doesn't. Why? Because it's gonna look like a little car. I know, but, but if it looks like a quad bike, that's for people who love quad bikes.

Yeah, right. But I mean, those tip over and break your neck. Well, not with these new roll cages, they people who love quad bikes. Yeah, right. But I mean, Those tip over and break your neck. Well, not with these new roll cages, they're gonna be putting in. Oh, okay. But what about, you know, one that looks like a little box. I love golf carts so much,

but because they're basically an adult version of those little electric cars, where do we lose sight of the joy in electric wheelchair? Could we have some that look like little planes? Yes. I think if you have one, looks like a fighter jet.

You know, grandpa's getting around. Great grandpa, probably at this point. Probably it is. We're all living so long. At this point. My grandmother's aunt just died. Alistair, that's the most, if that's impossible. What you're describing to me is madness.

Yeah, my grandmother just died. I mean, I guess that's the equivalent of just a great grandmother, right? Which is a thing that we know conceptually must exist. I don't know anyone. I met my great-grandparents. Really? Yeah, I met my, um, yeah, I met my great-grandfather, my great-grandmother,

but when I was like, I would have been like seven and they were 90 something. Yeah, right. Like my great grandparents, I think they barely made it out of like the horse and car era. That's where I feel. Yeah. When I see pictures of them, they're so black and white.

Yeah. Yeah, some photos don't look so black and white. These are the most black and white photos you've ever seen. Before they invented smiling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some photos don't look so black and white. These are the most black and white photos you've ever seen before they invented smiling. Correct. Yeah. Correct. Yeah. That was the real innovation in photography. Yeah. I mean, we had the ability to get an image on a photo for a hundred for hundreds of years. We know a thought of telling people to smile. Yeah. Look nice. Yeah. Look like you haven't always been sad. Yeah. Because those were all.

But we don't know they might have been. They might have always been sad. They probably were. Yeah. My great grandfather and great grandma seemed happy though. Did they? One was a poet, it was a bush poet. Really?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Is this why you're so good at imitating the tone of push poetry? I like, I improvised push poetry. Yeah. I went out to the shed today and saw myself a snake. I grabbed it by the tail and put it in my little bucket.

And that's the way I found out that I'm the guy with two underage children who don't know how to drink. It's perfect. He was a bush part. Have you got any of these bush partry somewhere? You got to send me something. Yeah, I'd like to see. I'd like to see.

Yeah, I'll read it and see. You've never read it, have you? I've flipped through it. I've got a lot of these. I've sort of felt the quantity. I'm aware of that. How you wish to do words from a listener? Oh yeah.

We've written down so much garbage today. We have words from a listener. This listener is, oh is this? Have you ever heard of this guy Tyler Farer? No, I've never heard of him. No, okay. Never would. Don't know what you're talking about. Well, thank ever heard of Tyler Farer? No, I've never heard of him. No, okay. Never would. Don't know what you're talking about.

Well, thank you for listening to Tyler Farer. Who ever you are? And for being a Patreon supporter, supporting my send-in. At least $3. Chalazzy to send in three. Tyler, we love you and we know who you are. Just want you to know. We were messing before.

I always think that he's Ryan Farer, the brother of Tyler Farer. He's the real Farer to me. For me, the brother of Tyler Farer. He's the real Farer, to me. He's the only Farer. Tyler's brother. Yeah. All right. Ready for the three words? Yes!

Concealed. You know, okay. Carry, mortgage. No, I know you wear your mortgage on your sleeve. I know. wear your mortgage on your sleeve. I know. You know, and the troubles that come with that. I think the idea of an open carry mortgage, right? Which is basically you walk around every day and you have sort of an LED display on your

chest which displays exactly the size of your mortgage. Yeah, that'd be amazing, because then people who are actually richer would have bigger mortgages because they might have loads of investment properties. Sure. And so they would be like, almost like, look at the burden that's on me, like it's a badge of honor. Oh, badge of honor, or maybe it would make people have more sympathy for them. When I crashed my car recently, I was kind of hoping the guy who had an... I crashed into a guy with a very nice car. Very well dressed and at nice years.

He was a lovely guy. One of the nicest people I've ever met. I was really happy to have crashed into him. Definitely the nicest person you ever crashed into. Definitely. But I was kind of hoping like, oh, maybe he'll tape pity on me in some way and give me some money somehow. But is that too much to ask? No, I mean, it sounds like the beginning of a movie.

It could be. Oh, and he got his ring of money back. Correct. I keep all my money in a ring. But maybe if instead of like, you know, the only real system we have going is the L plates and the P plates, which tell you if you're a learner or a provisional driver here in Australia right, when you're just starting out. But we should also have another thing, which is the display that shows the size of your

mortgage. And then if you're crashing to somebody, they look at you, they look at the size of your mortgage, they look at the quality of your mortgage. And then if you crash into somebody, they look at you, they look at the size of your mortgage, they look at the quality of your car, and they see that you're clearly a poor cunt, right? And then they give you money instead of making you pay $650 excess, which then Alistair uses the Patreon money to pay for you for. So really, you get to crash your car for free,

and then when you get it back from the body works place they've washed it as well. It's like you got a free car wash. Elstere. It's nice. Thanks for paying for that car wash. No problem. My car is still a wreck. Yeah. And now it also doesn't have an airbag in there while I'm waiting for this kind of this. Your car is crumbling from the inside and the outside. I wait and I think that whole airbag situation, that couldn't have gone worse for them. That Ticata company that makes those airbags, they can't still be solvent, right?

They must have gone to the wall, hard, and then the airbag burst out and filled their face with... With shrapnel. With shrapnel. So, but is this a sketch you just wear the thing on your front? How does that affect people in this world? Well, I mean, what it gives this insight, yeah, it's hard. Given that it's just a single data point, it's not enough to really form an opinion about anybody, is it?

Right, because people might have a big mortgage, but if they've got lots and lots of money, then that's not a problem. But if they don't have lots of money, then they would have a, then having a big mortgage, you would look at them and you would think, oh, that must be a real struggle.

Or you might think, what an idiot, they've got themselves into this situation. Why would they do that? Just rent. So maybe you need to have your bank balance, your cumulative bank balance. So the whole thing is on the front. Just a single number, right? At the bottom of my bank balance, it tells me just like one total number, which tells me how much I'm in credit or in debt. And given my mortgage, I'm significantly in debt. So it could just be that, so that they know your overall... Maybe this should be a number there for cash flow.

You know, because you don't know how much money is, because if they've got 12 investment properties, that means they're probably getting like $25,000 a month of money coming in. So then suddenly, this $2 million or $6 million and then negatively gearing so they're better off. Maybe this could be a new, a rogina son. Okay. And not in that it's necessarily sensitive when you touch it, although maybe it could be. But it's just another thing that we can hide. You know,

like we hide the breasts, the nipples, and the morphing. And the genitalia, maybe sort of somewhere, maybe in the middle of the back, where that space feels like it needs development. There's nothing going on there at the moment. That's where we put the mortgage quantity. Or the cash flow state. Maybe that's what we're discovering here, Andy,

is that most of the things that we hide currently on our body are things that if you touch them, they sexually arise, arouse you. So that being said, if people touched the amount of mortgage they have and how many incoming and outgoing you have, I posit that that would make you sexually aroused. Well, I think if it was something that people normally didn't see, right? People don't normally see you. And people don't normally know about your financial state. You're exactly right, Elstair.

But then that's another thing that you can reveal to people on a first date. Well, no, maybe not the first date if you're not up for that kind of quick commitment. Whatever point you're ready to start undressing in front of somebody, at some point you reveal your financial state to them. So it's like a date. And I think the fact that that's normally concealed and the feeling of having that exposed, having it touched, having them in contact with your deepest financial secrets, would give it a frisson, whether or not it's traditionally erotic. I'm going to show you all the bits that you don't normally see.

And then it's the third date, they're getting back, right? And the first you get out your nipples, right? And they kiss them. Mm, right. Oh! Yeah. And then you get out your butt. And I kiss that.

And they squeeze it a bit. I can. And you're like, ooh, like that. And then you get out of my pad. And it's open to your net bank. Net bank. And they squeeze it a bit. I can. You're like, ooh, like that. And then you get out of my pad and it's open to your net bank. Net bank. And they lick the screen and you're going, oh. And the tongue, I guess you can scroll with your tongue. It scrolls up and down.

Oh, that's all that's up and down. You see all the cash flow. Yeah, yeah. You can get into their, sort of, their share portfolio and different things like that. And you go, oh, you've got to have a normal easy, let people do that. And like that. And then you basically don't even make it to full penetration. Because that's such a sensitive thing for you.

Sensitive sensitive information. That's what makes it so sensitive. Oh, then you show them your passwords. This is big right. Yeah. And then you're so sensitive. It's actually, oh, you're touching too passwords. This is being right. Yeah, and then you're so sensitive. It's actually, oh, you're touching too much. It's too hard.

I don't know, because then it would just be too sensitive. I don't know, is this something? Yeah, I think, I think, I don't know, I said, this is the new erotic. Right? We've transcended, because we have transcended our physical form. Right? I'm now no longer just me. I'm also my phone.

I'm also my laptop. I'm also my laptop. Right. I've extended my being out into my peripheral devices. And so now why shouldn't I get those things involved in any kind of form play situation that I find myself in? Exactly. Because I mean, we just need, because first of of all we're not using our four play enough. And we need another reason to get our phones out. While there's intercourse happening. Yes. So we're not just doing, you know, Instagram stories.

Sorry I was yearning then, but I wasn't enjoying the conversation. It's okay. I was just suggesting that, but I wasn't enjoying the conversation. It's okay. I was just suggesting that we were Instagram storing all our intercourse. You didn't get to do y'all really. You said that you were enjoying it, but then you lied to me. Fuck. Yeah. That's it.

Do you like your tweets then? Thanks, Andy. I wish you would never delete it. And I like your replies, and I apologize. I was just not in a good place. It's okay. No, it's, I like your replies. And I apologize. I was just not in a good place. It's OK. No, look, it wasn't OK.

Well, just call me next time. Yeah. Yeah. OK, here's our sketches for today. Unnecessary pluralization discussions. It's a guy who comes in for saving times and in a workplace and he says this is where most of it's happening and we're just gonna add S's Lady who's allergic to water that she thinks

That's right Then we got not Facebook Paisley you can go just let people know you're not on Facebook. Then we got milk. Yeah. Then we got anything out of a cow could be milk. That's right. That's a badly worded legal decision as a result of the dairy farmers versus almond milk people.

Then we got blocking kids from learning toblurone and any kind of companies and things like that. And you, it's like anti-advertising. And so then you could see if you could monetize that. You're creating an advertising vacuum that you could monetize. Well, your kid is a consumer. Right. What they say, if they're not charging you anything for a service, you're not the customer, you're the product, right? They're harvesting your data. They're marketing

to you in some way, right? No, there's no such thing as a free luncheon. And then if they want the product, which is your child, who will eventually one day grow to be a beautiful blossoming consumer in the capital of system, right? They wanna get that, when you gotta hold something back. That's right. And they gotta make it worth your while. Yeah. And then we got small truck of chocolates to sell the charities.

That's the most sketch one. That is. And I think the list is gonna agree. And then we have the new erotic sensitive, the sensitive data erogenous zone. I mean, it's no lady allergic to water, she thinks. Yeah, you're right. Season two, baby. Boop, boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop bo Thank you so much for listening to the podcast.

It means the world. Absolute world. There is no world without this, for us. Since we stopped work, Alastair, I haven't been seeing you as much. And it's just so nice to be able to do this. We live, we live States of mind as well. And states of mind apart. And but I will be saying you tomorrow for breakfast. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So pop from that. Yeah. But it is going to be a lot of people and we will will mostly be,

you know, managing the thousands of children that you have. Correct. And my one boy who apparently was so such a jerk today that my wife did not recognize him. Oh really? Just like just being kind of just you know not just barriers between just being mean and you know just a bit of a jerk and just not listening like that. Anyway, this could be off part. Yeah, okay. Take care of yourselves everybody.

All this could be bonus content. We'll start a new Patreon tier where we tell you how difficult it is to be in with our children. Yeah. Recently, I've got some stories. Yeah, great. Yeah. All right.

Is this something you interested in? And would pay for in order to make up for the fact we're not working? We love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

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