Two In The Think Tank - 206 - "NOAH'S SPACE ARK BUT THE ANIMALS ARE FOR FUEL"

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

Thanks to Harry's for supporting this episode! Visit harrys.com/thinktank for SWEET SHAVING DEAL!Sketch names to come...Hey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereSteamed and pressed thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Alistair? Andrew? Let's start this thing off right by talking about Harry's. Oh, finally. Harry's great this thing off right by talking about Harries. Oh, finally. Harries, great shave at a reasonable price. You know that factory they got in Germany, they've

been honing quality, durable blades for a hundred years. That's all I've heard. Blade, you know? Yeah, each blade takes a hundred years. There's only like three. Okay? And so you want to get one of them while you're still can. Yeah, I hear that. They won't like me. They won't like me telling it like this. Well, I don't know. But but the essence is still true. They won't like me lying about how many blades they have. But the essence, the essence of what you're saying is that there's a lot of hard work and craftsmanship that's gone into each blade. Correct. Into every single blade and you can get those

straight to your door. You know you don't need a subscription, you know you can just go on just by the blade. Like you just buy them when you need them if you want and they'll come straight to you. I love that. You don't have to sign up to the every month thing. Anyway, I got a lot more to say about Harry's later on

in the in the podcast, but it's suffice to say Harry's not accomplished. Let's think tank. Get yourself your free trial set, your trial set today. And live not just your best life, but anybody's best life. Thank you. Blubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblubblub Episode 206. It's a fresh approach. Now, five sketch ideas. I like that. You know, I guess, but should we define what a sketch is? I think that would be a mistake at this point. Should we define what five is? What is a sketch?

What do you think? What in its essence is a sketch to you? For me, I would say it is a sketch? What do you think, what in its essence is a sketch to you? For me, I would say it is a scenario that occurs. It is based in a world and something that can be interpreted as humorous happens. Right, so what, like, could a sketch just be somebody sitting down telling a joke? I don't think it could, right?

Like what you wouldn't call that a sketch, if it's just a man sitting at a table, looking at the camera and telling a joke. No, for me that's not it, but that's- That's not a sketch. It's almost like there's not a scenario. It feels like that is you've removed. You need a context. You need a context.

You need a context. So it can't just be somebody staring, sitting on a white background, staring at a wall, just telling one joke. Feels like something has to happen in the world that he's in. Now, is it still a sketch if there's no audience, right? Say, we write something that we think is really funny.

We go together in a small room and we perform it. And it's never seen by anyone other than us, never experienced in any way. Is that a sketch? Yeah. Yeah. That's a sketch. That's definitely a sketch.

What if both of us agree that it's not very good? Andy, it's like that Wu Tang album that only the pharma bro, but they were like, only one person will get it. It's called, they're gonna cost $50 million. What's his name? Like Martin Slicky or something like that? Shrek, Shrek, Shrek, Shrek.

Shrek, Shrek. Shrek, Shrek. It's like what Louis CK's real name is kind of. Yeah, all right. CK. Zachily, yeah. CK. I think that's where he started writing at CK,

because that was the easiest way of people pronouncing it. Anyway, I don't think they have the same name, and they both have the same, they both have a similar public persona at the moment, and how likes they are. Yeah, sure. But it's arguable that Lucy Kay's situation is, he, because he had a good public profile,

and then he got, that had a fall from that, fall from some kind of grace, whereas the farmer bro guy got famous for being despicable. So he can only really go up? Yeah, I wonder, right? Like, can he even be cancelled? It sounds like it seems like he was pre-canceled, you know? Well, I mean, it was a, he, his star rose through cancellation. And then he got sent to prison, right? Which is kind of like, hmm. But then he also, in between those two things, he bought this one Wu-T Tang album.

Yes. It is the model for maybe the one sketch album that we're gonna release. Mm-hmm. Well, we'll make one. Yeah. And there's only gonna be one copy. Yes. We're gonna have it pressed on vinyl.

You know that guy who does vinyl. Yeah. And then we'll sell it. So it's... Soreff. Yeah. Soreff listens to the show, right? Sometimes.

Maybe not anymore. He's got a kid now. He's got a life. Soar, you're dearly missed. A life. A actual life. You take responsibility for. He's taking a life.

He's taking responsibility for a life. Okay, right. Great. I guess everywhere you go, you take a life. Don't you? You're a life there. Exactly. Everywhere you go, always take a life, don't you? You're life. There. Exactly. Everywhere you go, always take a life with you.

How do you mean you have to have a life? That's why people say, get a life. So you can take a life. And keep a life. Nobody ever says, keep a life. Keep a life. Yeah. That's what you do when you see somebody who's really cool and whose priorities are accurate.

Right? You say, keep a life, man. That's right. As a way of supporting them. Yeah. Yeah. This is your talk. Carried. Yeah. There are no, there's a lot of innovation in insults and a fair bit of innovation in compliments. Yeah. But there's nothing you can shout that is really just saying, keep doing what you're doing. There's no innovation in that regard. Yeah. Kind of stick to this thing.

I mean, you know what I felt? It was an innovation in that regard was, you do you. That's right. You do you. Yeah. Living your best life. You do you. That's great because it all rhymes.

The whole, every word in the sentence rhymes. Yeah. Is that a poem? You do you? I think so. Yeah. Should we write it down? I mean, I guess that's what makes that a poem? You do you? I think so. Yeah. Should we write it down? I mean, I guess that's what makes it a poem.

Are there any poems that never get written down? Mm. I think almost certainly yes. Yeah. Yeah. What is it that the whole oral tradition? You know the oral tradition? Oh yeah. Yeah.

Alicia. Alicia. And Kanalingas. And Aina Lingas, of course course is kissing sort of a is a oral It's like double oral. It's like so oral that it becomes wholesome again Well, I guess kissing is like the 69 of 69ing, isn't it? That's right. It's a 69 69 Yeah, it's a double 69 and it's these things that are so dirty, right?

It's that you make a thing double dirty. It makes it wholesome. Mmm. So, if you take 69... So, if you're 69 and you say, baby, let's 69. Yeah. You're 69 and 69. Cards doesn't sell fat.

And then it becomes... And then it becomes... And then it's just a beautiful kiss between lovers, mouth kiss between lovers. If you... Here's another take on the 69 idea. Yeah. Right? Because you know you've got the kiss, right? Yeah. Which is, you know, quite intimate, the kiss on the lips. It's quite intimate. But then there's the peck on the cheek, right? And that's intimate, but then there's the peck on the cheek, right? And that's, you know, not quite so intimate, that's almost sort of casual, quite in type thing. Now the 69 version of that is where you flip around and just both peck each other on the thigh. On the thigh or on the buttock. On the buttock cheek, you know. And so it's weird, but it's definitely

much more wholesome. It is more wholesome, and it is something that you could maybe just do as a sort of a greeting. Absolutely, one on each. It's not sexual. No, no, unless you kind of flip around like that. It's a lot. If you flip around here laying down,

that is a little bit weird. I don't know, I think that's part of it. Okay, but I mean, what if like somebody, I guess, but it's nice because that's something you can do with your underpants on. Okay, but I mean, what if like somebody, I guess, but it's nice because there's something you can do with your underpants on. Mmm. Absolutely. Yeah. Outside, outside the pants, 69ing. Mmm. Yeah, it's the dry humping of 69 sort of.

It is. It's the peck on the... Yeah, it's the peck on the peck. No, not on the peck. Yeah, you're right. I know I was just saying that because the words... Yeah, the words were... They led me there. You got led by this, you do you. Mm. Yeah. Which is not that far from a former Indonesian leader's name.

You do, you do. Yeah. Cecilo, back, back, you do, you know. LAUGHTER I wonder if anyone ever said that to him. What? You do, you know. LAUGHTER I wonder if anyone ever ever said that to him. What do you do you know? Who will we judge?

Cilla Bang Bang, you do you know. That sounds like you're saying you do you know which is like card game. Was he a Cilla Bang Bang? Was he an Indonesian president? It was an Indonesian.? Pramist? Yeah, I think so. It was an Indonesian. There have been so many great names.

Mega Wattis, a Kano Putri. Yeah. Oh, man. We can't hold a candle to those names. Yeah, it's them and the secretary generals of the UN who got the great names. The names takes. But it just kind of shows you it's anytime we're exposed

to proper culture. Proper cult, you know, proper, real diversity of names and things like that. No, not where people have had their names sort of anglicized to make it easier and things like that. Well, I guess Angola sizing, you to Yona, would be you to Yuna. And of course, I'm not talking about Angola sizing,

like the leader of. Angola Merkel. Of of... Angola Merkel. Of Germany, Angela Merkel. That's when you make somebody's name more like Angola. All more Angola. So I'm putting it in like a... What's that font? Italix.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I guess so. I feel like Cecilo Bung Bung Udiono. Anglicizing should be just putting words in italics. But actually, I think that's putting italics refers to Italian, something or other. Mm. Anyway, none of this is interesting. The leaning tower of pieces.

No, no, no. What I was going to say in terms of anglicizing, like, angularcy. Talicizing because it's a leading tarot pizza. Yeah. like angioletizing because it's a leading tower of pizza. I wouldn't be so surprised if it's related. I, I, I, I was there. You got to write that down. I don't know, I don't, it's, you know,

maybe it's only a half a sketch, but that is a great observation that they really, I italicized that leading tower of pizza. Well that tower of pizza. I just refer to it as the tower of pizza myself. Really? Yeah. You don't refer to tower. Well I have a limp. One of my legs is shorter than the other. To me, all the other towers in Pisa, are the leading tower of Pisa. That's the only tower of Pisa. I see, I see. I was going to say that Sillo, bang bang Yudiono's name is probably feels angular, angular. Like, as in, there's an angle in there, because it feels like it's a name that has

three, like, one of those things in films there, you got like... Acts. Yeah, it's got three acts. Right, and that makes it angular. Well, I mean, it's like, there's a real left turn or something like that, and it goes, Cecilo, right?

And then bang bang, now that's a climax. Yeah, there's a huge climax. Something's going on, but Cecilo is like, look, it's soft, it's kind of, you know, you could see it as a name, it's kind of like a bit like Susie. Sure. You know, but you know, you go, look, I could understand, and then bang, bang, yeah, something's going on. There's a climate, there's a call to action.

A crisis. It's like Pearl Harbor. Yeah, okay. You go, how are they going to deal with this? And he said, Yudioño. You know, I don't know. And that's the response. It's a very Yudi, it's very close to Yoda.

Yeah. You know, there's somebody who comes to your aid. Oh no. Do you think that we could buy the rights to Cecilobang Bang Yudio no's name? Say we want to turn this into a film. About his life? No, no, no, just his name. Just the day.

We think there's something there. There's a story in that. Just for a note for pizza. No, not quite. I said pizza just a little bit. I know, I think you said pizza every time. No, no, no, I don't believe that it's pizza. Well, whether or not you believe it, Alan Stair, that doesn't matter. No, for Teleport, which will be the show that we'll be doing at the Comedy Festival next year. Martin and Jerry are coming back from Magma. Martin, Chris Ellis. And Jerry Roberts, hello. And I just had a thought that there is something about italicizing words. I know we've already done a lot of stuff on letters in Magma,

of stuff on letters in magma, but the italicizing of things. And you know, I guess why there are italicized like that, you know, what that means structurally for the letters. It does look like there's been some kind of seismic movement, like some kind of earthquake or something that's caused everything to tilt. Sure. Yeah. It's just something, something about that. Well, I also thought about this, categorizing numbers by alphabet. We've already done an alphabetical order thing, but I do like the idea of alphabetizing the numbers. Yeah, okay.

So, so one, two, three, so that's already, they're already in alphabet. Four would obviously go back, so it would be four, one, two, three. Well, but then five would be coming, number four, four, so five, four four one two more but then five we're becoming book number four four so five four four four no no no be three two because it's th yes anyway but it's not made it no no I do I think think do something I think you could you could at least start by tweeting that today. Yeah. I've alphabetized the numbers. Two, three. If anybody needs this, I don't know who. I think we do need to standardize orders. Right?

It is weird that there are these different systems for ordering things. Right? And like if we just put everything into alphabetical order, then we can put the numbers into alphabetical order. It'll just be easier to keep track of everything. It'd be great to be able to order things in the world via the date modified method. Date modified method.

Well, you know, like, do you use that on, on a computer? No, I don't know what you mean. Well, if ever you're looking for a file. Oh, yes, sorry. The date, yes. Okay, when you sort the folder or whatever, by the little date modified, of course. By date modified.

And so you can just go, oh, this is the most recently modified things. So then you could say, you could see the things that are still getting worked on. You could see the things that haven't been worked on for ages. And I bet you that's what James Dyson did when he fixed the hand dryer thing. He goes, he sorted all technology by date modified. And he went hand dryers. Nobody's looked at that for roughly 75 years.

And so he went, boom, and he went, oh, you can fix this really easily by putting more air Alistair you're joking you're treating this like it's all a big fucking joke, right? But I think you're absolutely under something. Let's go down to the patent of us get all their files Sort by date modified find the the one that is Oldest hmm probably I don't know rocks or something like that. Right? No one's fixed rocks for ages. See what we can do with this?

Sure. Right. Rock 2.0. I think it'd be great to improve rocks. Do you think we should maybe put some kind of, one of those like fake marble kind of things where you can, what's the thing that's causing silicosis? I think so, but that was probably that was probably trying to update rocks. Yeah.

And then they came up with the invented silicosis. And good on, Tla. It's great. We haven't had a great new lung disease for a while. That's true. Yeah, I mean, that's great. And it means, you know, the same way that... The Great War was great.

No, wow. Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great, who hurt a lot of people's lungs by putting a spear through them. I had the edge of a little thing. What were we talking about before all of that? The paint office alphabet. Oh, just to add to the alphabetizing the numbers, we could also,

because in magma we put the alphabet in alphabetical order, we decided it wasn't an alphabetical order, but we could also combine the numbers and the alphabet into one alpha numeric system, right? And then we alphabetize all the letters and the numbers all together in one sort of thing. Sure. So then it would be like, you know, C, D, H, F, B, you know, whatever. G. And should we give, should the letters also be in the number system? Should we start counting letters? Well, that one feels harder. Knowing where the letters go. But I mean, it's just numerical systems.

I think we would just have to, so we take to nine which is 10 and then we add the 26 letters Well, that's basically what they've done in hexadecimal right because it goes zero nine and yeah But then we turn it into a base 36 system. Yeah And so then we just count and so so you know zero to nine will still be worth what they're worth. But then, or is it going to be a still base 20 at 35 because the zero is encountered in the base 10? No, because if the zero wasn't counted, you'd call it a base nine. So it is a base 36.

Okay, right. Oh, you're right. Sorry. This is fun for a model, isn't it? And so then, and then we've already got names for them, but then it means that A would also be worth 10. Yes. B would be 11.

Yeah. Yeah. C, I think that would be 12. I got a feeling. And then D, unless, unless we've reordered those alphabetical numbers according to our alphabetized system. That's the alphabet. So that's good. So then A would be, I guess zero would be zero.

Yeah. Or would zero have to be, no, zero would be- Zero is out. We got rid of zero. No, that's what, no, zero is back in. Okay. Zero is back in an in-use system because zero is worth 36.

Okay. Because it's Z. Oh yeah, all right. Z-E, zero. Okay. But then that means that the one A would be one. Yep. And that feels natural. That's good.

One unfortunately is that worth two? No, one is oh, so. Wait, let's say like, let's say it was just A, B, C, D, E, F. Honestly, to anyone listening to this who has it's C bagma, and even to people who have this is just white noise. This is four would be then seven. Four would be seven. Yeah, okay.

We'll work it out. We'll put this in a spreadsheet. We'll put it up on a screen. And the good part is when the numbers are not worth what they're known to me. Yes, absolutely. So, what else can we fuck up? How lives? Did you write anything about taking a life? I mean, I don't know if everywhere you go, you take a life. I didn't write that down though, but I'm interested in it. But what is the sketch?

Hey, I take a life everywhere I go. I feel bad for people who don't take a life, because that means you don't have a life. Some motivational, really bad motivational speaker. Yeah, I guess so. Or like, you know, like a sort of, like one of those life-be-in-it type government campaigns that's encouraging people to go out and exercise

and that sort of thing. Take a life. Take a life. Take a life. Take a life today. I mean. Have a life. Take a life today. I mean, it's funny. Yeah. But also, just to bring taking a life back to a, back to a murder standpoint. So it is a beautiful, it is quite a nice way to express take, you know, I feel like take a life is to murder what make love is to fuck, you know, to take a life is, is, is almost romanticized. It's like passing on, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like passing on, murder, take a life.

Mmm, dirty sex sex make love. Mm. Dirty sex. Dirty sex. The double 69. Mm. Did we write down double 69? Oh, you bet double 30.

That's probably the closest to being a thing. Double 30 becomes wholesome. Mm. Two wrongs make a right. Yeah, two. It's like, you know, you're a TV, you're a TV person, executive. And your, you know, TV production that's happening

underneath you, they're making some comedy and they're like, hey, we're, here's the script of what we're gonna be filming next week. You have any notes and you look over it and you go, ah, this thing where you call somebody, I can't, you know, that's a bit, I think that's a bit blue for this, but could we, could we either remove that or double dirty it so that it becomes wholesome? Yeah, yeah, okay, so then you just call somebody a can't, can't, and that basically just

means a mouth, right? Because from the cance point point of view, the cunt's not like, God, I have said cunt a lot. Ah! I didn't realize how deep I was, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, of the dirtiest word I was gonna be saying. Yeah, so to express it. Yeah, the cunt cunt. Is the mouth. Yeah, your cunt cunt, which is a mouth. So you call them your filthy mouth.

When people talk about the mouth. Your filthy mouth hole. The mouth from the south. That's probably the vaginal region, isn't it? No, the mouth from the south. Well, it's not a mouth. Oh, you're right. You don't eat. You're right. When you're right you're right. Alistair. You don't eat with a vagina. I feel a fool. All right. Coriander. Some people think it tastes like soap. Yeah. I think you know what?

The first thing can I tell you something? Just I know it's not on the topic of Korean on my great topic My mom my mom called me yesterday first of all she text she texted sending me a message through Facebook from my dad's account Who's had some health problems this year and the message was just? Do you have time to talk? And I'm about to go do a podcast at the Sainspanes. Guys, and I'm like, oh, I'll just, maybe, I'll, like, I mean, I don't know if it's a good idea to get this call. I'll have to go with a riff.

Yeah, but anyway, I was like, I better call him. I'll call him. He's like, no, that wasn't me. And so then... He's been hacked. Anyway, later on, so I'm like, okay, so this mom I'll call her after. I imagine it's not as pressing. I send her a text. And then afterwards she's like, oh, my friend,

you know, my friend, she, her daughter has a friend from New Zealand and she does stand up comedy. And so she asked, she said, oh, I know Alster, you know, Lynn's son. And then she goes, oh yeah, I know I know Alster, you know, Lynn's son. And then she goes, oh, yeah, I know that guy. This is the New Zealand comedian. She goes, oh, yeah, I know him. I think we're about the same age.

She just said, oh, I like him. I think he's very controversial. And then he has a joke about, I think he has jokes like about Hitler and stuff. And I was like, oh, okay, I don't know if I have that. Well, I was like, do you have any controversial things about Hitler and stuff. And I was like, uh, okay, I don't know if I have that. Well, I was like, do you have any controversial things about Hitler? I said, my mom, I go, I had one joke about Hitler. I said, you know, it's about going back in time

and about, you know, whether or not people should go back and kill baby Hitler. She goes, well, that's controversial. I go, yeah, well, but my solution is that you would go, I would go back in time and I would jerk off his dad That way, you know, nobody has to be a baby. It's such a great joke, by the way Well, thanks And that way everybody's getting something

I was like Okay, yeah, you're right. That is a better solution What is it? What an interesting chain of reactions. You were hearing all of this through your mum, right? That a New Zealand comedian knows about you, but knows about you as a controversial comedian. Have they just missed, have they just got you confused with somebody else? I maybe. Anthony Jezelnik or something like that. I don't know, I mean, there's a chance that people think that that's comfort to controversial, but I just don't think that that joke

has even seen enough of the light of day. It's one of those controversial anti-hitler jokes. Yeah, that's right. I mean, these days, it's not that crazy for somebody to be an outwardly pro-notsy kind of thing. So maybe they think it's controversial from a Nazi point of view. Or maybe they think that I wasn't clear on whether or not I got Hitler's dad's permission to jerk him off. So they think it's a prosexual assault? Yeah so

so you know that's the that's the problem in there is that maybe I'm not being clear enough. I ask him first permission right before he has sex with Hitler's mom to be. Do you refer to her as Hitler's mum? I don't even talk about it. Because from his point of view, he's Hitler, isn't he? Hitler's dad. And before he has sex with Hitler's mum. True.

Hitler's dad is Hitler. He sees himself very much as the Hitler of that family. I think maybe Hitler's mum might consider herself also the Hitler. Hitler. The Hitler. So what you have is two Hitler's about to have sex and you come in and you jerk off the male Hitler to prevent a third Hitler from being formed in the womb of the second Hitler. Yeah. I mean, I see the mom as the first Hitler, depending I assume she was just older than

the dad. Okay. Yeah. This is an interesting form of mathematics, isn't it? Like you get two Hitler's. It just makes one Hitler. It makes one Hitler. Well, I guess it makes three Hitler's. I guess it does make three. Yeah. But only one new one. One plus one equals three. That's Hitler mathematics for you. Wait, but that's see that's what's crazy Now what if we were to take that math and also mix it in with the alpha Hitler alphabet? Dear Wait I can't remember what I was gonna say. No, that's okay Um, they're, um, wait. Hmm. Oh, I can't remember what I was going to say.

No, that's okay. Um, you should bring that joke back. Surely that I can bring it in well. I can bring it in with the story now. Yeah. I'm the controversial guy. Hmm. Yeah.

Well, yeah, I think I think there's definitely comedy we had from analyzing what it is about that that's controversial. Yeah. No, no one, no one is describing you as a controversial comedian. Literally, it happened days ago. Nobody is doing that. It happened days ago from that Nazi New Zealand comedian. Probably or anti-sixial assault.

I think, I think Nazi in New Zealand, like the New New Zealand is probably the closest to being the word Nazi. NZ. NZ. Hello. Yeah, it's just an A in an A away. An A, an A, an artificial intelligence. Look, this is nothing. And I'm not even going to finish.

Do you know how you pronounce their New Zealand name? No, I'm just being silly. It's not only there's any eyes in that word. They probably say, hey, can I say, hey, no, that's, that's a bro, a. Yeah. I bro. I bro. I'm not enjoying this waffle. No. I mean, it's bad waffle. It's been what, 25 minutes have we been in here? Have you seen them at home? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a perfect time to talk about.

It's 29 minutes, that's not. 29 minutes, and it's been pretty waffly, but, you know, there's some content in there. Well, the waffle cone is probably the superior cone. Sometimes I feel like they only have the other one in stock. The crunchy, whatever that is. Whatever the alternative is. It's sort of like a, it's just wafer, I guess. It's kind of wafer.

It's like a stamped wafer. I feel like they only have that one in stock so that they can charge you more for the waffle one. You're right. You know, if you don't want to be seen getting the waifakone. Yeah, but also it's just a lesser cone. You know, and so they know that nobody wants it.

The people, kids will put up with it and the parents will, you know, still. Inflict it on the kids. Inflict it on the kids. But they only have that there in store so that they can upsell you and they can charge you another 50 cents on this. I, because you know, to go to say like, oh, $4 for an

ice cream cone, that seems, that seems, you know, reasonable ish. The waffle, the waffle cone is, it's a real, it's a real status symbol, isn't it? You know, you got that waffle cone money. What that means is that you have to have 50 cents more than other people. Yeah, but that's what's that, that's 25% more

on that ice cream. Yeah, I wonder if anyone's putting that on their list of, this is how I paid off my mortgage in eight years and retired by the age of 40, never bought a waffle cone. No, no, waffer. No, yeah, it's all waffer. No extra guacamole on anything, especially my ice cream. I think I do like the idea that some billionaire puts that as their number one. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

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Still drives his old pickup truck. Maybe I'm I'm thinking there. I mix up Buffett with the guy who started Walmart. But I think Warren Buffett does drive an old car. I think that's one of his things. I think that mechanics get and paid over time. I think I think at a certain point, keeping an old car on the road costs you more in repairs. Right, yeah. Right. Yeah, and so it's actually really bad financial. Crazy. It's crazy. It has to keep finding these old parts that are no longer getting many of factory tests

to buy them from an antique store. And Ed, just go there. They keep all the original tarnish on all the parts. And that's it. All right, Buffett. Buffett. All right, now let's talk a little more, Alistair. There couldn't be a better time.

When we're talking about saving money, we're talking about the secrets of the billionaires. I'll tell you, I reckon Warren Buffett, he gets these raises from Harry's. I wouldn't be surprised at all. He goes to harries.com-fords-lash-think-tank. If he had any financial sense, that's what he's doing. Any nows at all, because you get that trial set, you know?

Even if he's not regularly with Harry's, I reckon he should go there right now. Warren, if you're listening. Warren, you pay attention, Warren. Yes, you go straight, you go straight there. Right. Where? To harries.com-fords-lash-think- go straight, you go straight there. Right. Where? To harryst.com.com.com slash think tank, you get yourself that trial set. Do you want me to tell you what's in the trial set?

Listeners of our show can redeem their harryst.com at harryst.com.com slash think tank. They will get a way to do it on a candle for a firm grip. A five blade razor with a lubricating strip and trimmer blade, rich lathering shave gel with aloe to keep your skin hydrated. He can't afford to have dry skin at this age, and a travel blade cover to keep your razor dry and easy to grab on the go. This is the thing about the,

easy to grab on the go, right? You've got the travel case over the, the sharp end of your razor there, you just plunge your hand into the bag with impunity. You grab anything, you're not gonna slice your hand open or anything like that. You can't. Because you've got that travel case. It's a sheath.

It's a scabbard. I think of it as a scabbard. I have it clipped to my belt. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think of it as like one of those, you know, like a holster. Mm-hmm. I clipped it to my belt like that and I slotted in there very quickly. Yep.

Uh, why harries? Quality durable blades at a fair price, just $2 per blade, that's cheaper than what you're paying in the supermarket, let's be honest. You know, that's barely the cost of the raw materials being covered there. How are they making money on this? It doesn't say, it doesn't say how they're making money. I assume it's all a front for something.

Yeah, it is. Profit. Waffles, probably. Yeah. Which mean mean they've cut out the middle man probably using some of those precision engineered blades. I reckon they're shifting the profits to you. That's right. That's the first company. They're laundering the profits through the customer. Just like, why don't you have companies, I'm sick of companies taking all the profits. What about a company that when you buy something,

you get some of those profits. And those profits help lower the price of what you're buying. Here's what I'm sick of. I'm sick of people screaming money off the top. Why can't they take a little bit off the bottom? That's right, or on the side. Everyone's always looking on the top. Right, it's the top.

Take a little money off the bottom. Nobody looked there. Stay on the bottom. Take a little money off the bottom. Nobody looks there. Stay on the bottom. Hard to get to. It's because most of the time you've got to get your fingers dirty. Nobody's prepared to do that. No, not for cream. Harry's.com-4-today-think-tank

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I've written down Buffett's an idiot, old car repairs. I feel like there's something in that. But I think it's just that idea. Like you could just talk about the economics of it, of continuing to drive an old car. And how, I mean, do you think he even is paying, like he would have a personal mechanic probably? Who, who surely can't be expecting minimum wage?

Like you're the direct employee of one of the richest men in the world. Just, he's paying so much to keep this car on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he doesn't even keep it on the road. Maybe he just has like a little, well, a big warehouse that he goes and he drives it around inside there. Ground and round in circles. He's a whole car beeping the horn and shouting.

He's a whole car beeping the horn and shouting. Here I come, he shouts, beep, beep, get out of my way. And you know, he does that four or five hours a day. It's amazing. It's how he's made so much money. Because I guess when you're doing that, you're not spending money, particularly on waffle cones. That's true.

Yeah. Sleeping. When you're sleeping, you're That's true. Yeah. Sleeping? When you're sleeping, you're not spending money. Mm. Well, I heard somebody refer to the library as being one of the last places that you can go. And you're not spending money. You're not spending money. That's really interesting.

Yeah. What about the bottom of a lake? Mm. What about the rescue teams that, you know, it's kind of costing the state sure and then I mean We're gonna try and recoup some of that money, but I'm interested in this bottom of the lake Like you know, I guess you don't spend money there Unless you're camping and they kind of do get a little bit of money out here I think I think what it is is that being at the bottom of the lake. It's hard to survive

Right sure you you know, you probably need oxygen in tanks and that sort of thing and that cost money to get the oxygen. Living is expensive, dying is cheap. Is that a saying? Dying is cheap for you. I don't know, that's what I'm saying. It is a saying. I've said it. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I mean, everything is really once you've said it. That's a sign. What could you do at the bottom of a lake? You know, there's often that kind of like

ooze-y-ness over the ground. Yeah, that's silt, kind of that. Silt, but it's mixed with like algae and stuff like that. It's very slimy and unpleasant. Even the actual like seaweed that's in there, I guess like weed is kind of itself covered in a silt. They've ever touched, you know, like seaweed is bad enough to touch

while you're barefoot, right? But then, yeah, if it's oozy on top. It's interesting, the fresh water. We call it fresh water when you're swimming in fresh water, but it feels dirty, it doesn't it? The dirtiest of the water. Yeah, like, you know, you climb and over the rocks to get in there and like they're all slimy, they've got that algae all over them, like that seagrass and stuff.

Sometimes there's just big growths of it that you've got to sort of wade through and they stick to your feet. It feels like hopefully with climate change coming through. Yes. And the fact that there are going to be lots of creatures dying and plants and things like that. It feels like maybe those wetter, those wetter, grosser ones might be some of the first to go. I hope so. And I think maybe there's going to be a few years there where they'll be gone but other things will have survived and it'll be some of the greatest times for human. Fresh water

swimming. Fresh water swimming, things like that, you know. Just, I don't know, there's just a part, there's a chance. It's a scenario. Totally. And you could write a book just based in that three-year window. So, it would be like a... It's a little utopia. A little utopia window.

I think it's going to be warmer. It's going to be left stuff living in rivers. It is, you know, we're going to look back on that as an absolute golden time of freshwater swimming. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like the golden hour right before sunset. Sure. Right before dark times that is absolutely. Just before there's no water at all.

Yeah. There's going to be this beautiful period of perfectly temperatureed water, water that doesn't have any slugs or leeches or moss or slime or yabbies, anything that pinches, although I feel those exoskeletons are gonna help them survive in some way. Don't think so. No, I think the exoskeletons will respond,

I think they'll dissolve when the water gets acidified soft soft shell Shell crabs. Yeah. Yeah. I think what soon all crabs will be soft shell crabs could be another part of the Golden Age. Yeah. All the crabs was mate Eat them right out of the sand So this is a nice. This is a this is an ancient blessing. Well, maybe it'll be a future blessing May all your crabs be soft-shelled. Feels like something they'd say. I don't know the Middle East or something like that. I would love that. I'd love to go to the Middle East and hear somebody say that. Maybe infarcie and then with subtitles. I think they could well be something in this

I think there could well be something in this, in the golden period of climate change. And I think maybe we should be focusing on this. Maybe we should work in, not in climate change denial, but in climate change spin. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, yes. And, you know, just trying to make the most because we're gonna need need, we're going to

need to feel good at some point. And so someone's got to spin it. Is that what you're saying? It's not a spin or it is spin. It is spin. It's spinning, you know, the disaster of the climate crisis. I'll tell you the real crisis, not being able to get out of the house crisis. I'll tell you the real crisis, not being able to get out of the house fast enough

to go and enjoy swimming in a water hole. Yeah. And so for example, and so you have a solution for getting out of the house faster, you're saying you're moving doors. I'm saying that's the only crisis as far as I'm concerned, right? Because everything else is good news. That's right. I mean, if things are dying, there's things that were normally going to bother you.

Flies. Do you think flies will die? No, I think the flies, I've got a feeling the flies will probably be one of those things. Do you think they're going to thrive on all the dying things? I think there's a good chance. I also think, and I hate to put a dampener on our freshwater swimming situation. Yeah. I think that one of the things that is really going to do very well is probably going to be algal blooms. Yeah, right, with all those fish and stuff. We're all sorts of stuff that warmth and, you know, all the pests, not pesticides, but all the fertilizers. Think about this. What about this? It was. Yes.

What about this? It was, yes. Brida filters, but for lakes. So that's how we get out of all the fish that are dying from the lack of oxygen and the ocean. Okay. Alkal blooms, things like that. We can all grind those up and use those as like fossil fuels or whatever like that as the sort of, you know,

what could just, because you have to get rid of them or else it'll be really bad. Well, why sit around waiting for them to become fossils? When we can just burn them directly. Yeah, and they're dead already. We're not killing them. I mean, some people will just to make the money. Yeah.

We'll find the lakes that haven't boiled or whatever. And obviously, get all that fish matter and make it and straight into whatever oil it is. But it's straight into the tank. But we can use that oil to power the jets, the rockets that get us out of this planet. That'd be so great. Just fill it up.

Just like, just make the tallest rocket. Yeah, fill it with the concocts of extinct species. Animals, it'll be like Noah's Ark, but all the animals will be dead. Yeah. That, and it'll just be one big rocket. All the animals will be dead, and that'll just, everything that was organic or whatever will just fill it up.

And just keep making it as big as we can until we absolutely can no longer live here. And so everything that dies, the longer we stay, the more fuel we'll have, the further along we'll be able to get. And then, we'll just go. Soon, last minute, we'll call last drinks. Yep. You know, that's when the booze runs out. We'll get up on there. And then just light it and then just see how far we get.

I think I do, I do love the idea of a Noah's Ark spaceship, where all the animals are being used as biofuel to blast it into a new solar system where things are better. I assume this has been discussed on the in comedy before but the idea of eating the animals on Noah's Ark. Do you know that it wasn't actually two of every animal? Yeah, that some animals they had, he had like, I think it was 14, or something like that. I didn't know that. Yeah, so like domesticated animals like sheep and that sort of thing.

He had more than the two of every animal. Yeah, I didn't know that about that, but no. Yeah, that's in the Bible. It seems like it would be amazing that he managed to fit all of them in there. Does seem unlikely, doesn't it? Did he have all the Galapagos animals? That's the other question, isn't it? Like, how did he get them from all over the globe?

Yeah. And how did the land animals from islands get to him? Yeah, I guess it starts to kind of break down a little bit, doesn't it? In some ways, you're sort of, you're left with more questions than answers. Because it kind of almost implies that what he thought was maybe all animals shows you that they had a limited knowledge of the diversity of all animals in the world due to their inability to travel long distances and gain that extra knowledge so that they could think that they had one of one of one of every two of everything of 14 of everything and then makes things well done. Why wasn't God giving them that

that information almost Almost like God, anyway, I don't want to start an atheist thing here. But maybe God is unable to trend, you know, go to go to islands. Maybe he can only travel over land, maybe he can hover. It's like one of those like, he can only hover over land or something. And so then once he comes to the water, he gets trapped as well. Yeah, that's interesting. God can't swim. Yeah, or God's perception can only go as, or God only sees through the eyes of the people he's connected to. And so as far as they can go, that's as far. So he's all knowing. You know, he's like, like the Borg, he can sort of see through the eyes of all of the people who believe in him. Yeah, I don't know if anyone's ever hypothesized

that God is like the Borg. Well, yeah, because I think that's good. He's like the Borg queen or whatever from the Star Trek movie. So he can see through all of them, but as far as they can go, that's as far as he can go. So he can't know what's going on, you know, in a fishing vessel from China that's out at sea,

like that going, who are those weirdos over there on the, laying and looking through binoculars. Yeah. No. Yeah. I, I like it. You know, that's how you can tell like where the origins of languages and stuff come from, is that you look at the words,

like, you know, or whatever, you look at the, these dead languages or these languages that people used to speak, and you look at all the words, like you know, or whatever you look at the these dead languages or these languages that people used to speak, and you look at all the different, all the words that they had for animals and different things like that, and you go, well, what places had these? Like, you know, like if a place had a name for bees, for example, then you know that they weren't like east of these mountains because it was too cold beyond there for them, for there to be bees. And so you know that they weren't. I tried to tell someone this at a party once. I was at a party talking to a girl that I just met and a guy that I knew a bit. And I had heard this about language, right? And I tried to tell

him this, the girl was studying linguistics, and she laughed in my face as if it was a ludicrous suggestion that you would be able to do this. And maybe I expressed it poorly, but I felt I felt it was very unfair. She might have been first year. And it's not fun. She might have been first year. And what? She might have been first year and hadn't found out yet about these kinds of things. And she felt very superior. Whereas I had seen an article online,

or maybe even a headline. And I can assure you that it's very real that people can do that. Thank you. I feel better now. Now I need to track down this woman from this party. And my man, this man tracked me down the other day, who I met at a party. Fifty years ago.

And he, should we go through the sketches? Oh no, we've got to do some words from a listener. Three words from a listener. I'm sorry, I feel like I've been a bit distracted the second half of this podcast. But my mind was wondering. Where has it been? What's it been on? I don't know. I just, I just wasn't able to latch on to anything that we were talking about. You're thinking about your children?

No, definitely not. I guarantee that at what that wasn't it. Do you think that you started to have too many children? Started to. Do you think, because I mean, your children are becoming more every day. That's right. Yeah. They are more life. They're more life. They're more life.

You take those lives and usually where you go. Like you you can you can't clone people. No. Right. But you can I think. Well you probably can. But what if you just took a finger off somebody. Yeah. Do you think that you could keep that finger alive in a jar? Like, do you think with all the technology that we have at the moment? And you kept that finger alive in a jar? Yeah. What would that, is that still part of that person? Like, is that still... Hi. Could you...

Are they in two different places, that person? My question is, could you take that finger and sort of attach it to like a toad? Yeah, okay. And could the toad sort of keep it alive, but just kind of hop around with just one finger, or one finger on each hand. Yeah, okay.

Like that human finger, like that. That's a good question. I mean, because it seems more likely, because it's attached to a life system. That's true, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I think floating in water, I mean, unless it was like, you know, in a jar, whatever, unless it was forming roots and starting to like, sort of absorb carbon. I think if you put it in cotton wool or something eventually, it's a little four-blow roots.

A little, like that, I don't know. I mean, maybe you could attach it to a carrot, that can stay alive for a long time, or a carrot that is sustaining from roots, and then you could get something from it. Right. Can we, you're saying that we could maybe graft a finger or a carrot that is sustaining from roots and then you could get something from it. Right. Can we, you're saying that we could maybe graft a finger onto a carrot? It would be interesting to try. You would be interesting to try and get funding to be allowed to try to do something like that. Do you think what you mean?

If we have, you know, we have trouble, not that we've tried very much, but to get arts funding, that can be hard. But do you think we could try to do our art by getting science funding? This is really good. Let's just find whatever the gray area is between science and art. And let's just get a little bit of science funding.

Maybe do a bit of science, maybe get some co-production money from Comedy Central. People are always only thinking, I think, down one bit of science, maybe get some co-production money from comedy central, right? People are always only thinking, I think down one sort of angle, right? They're thinking, I need to get TV funding for a TV show. No, get a little bit of TV funding, do a co-production with the neuroscience department, do a microbiology or something like that, and then get something that's in the middle. And then it's much harder to prove that you did it wrong because whenever they're like well the science on this isn't very good You just say well that's part of the art. Yeah, exactly. That's the art part. Mm-hmm

Art part art part So anything in this finger thing? It's not sketch is it? Mm-hmm. I mean is it I was probably just as much a sketch as anything else We're free. I mean, I love I mean was probably just as much a sketch as anything else we've read. I mean, I love, I mean, the season two, Andy. Yeah. Season two, I think, you know, a lot of these ideas really come to life in post, which is, what a lot of people would call pre. You know, when you write it, they're like, yeah, we've shifted what post means. Yeah.

Post, post idea. Shifting the posts. Mm-hmm. All right, so three three words today. Who do you think who do you think is Sent in three words. Is it Anna Ferra? No Is it Ellie Durkin? No See your mom my mom. Yeah, no, okay. Is it your mom? No mom? Yeah. No. Is it your mom? No. How do you know?

It's a good question. I don't want my mom to listen to the podcast. She used to listen sometimes when it first started coming out. Yeah, seven years ago. But I feel like we talked more about painstances and stuff now than we did back then. I need help that your mom could handle that. I think your mom would handle it. I think your mom, probably, if it was on television

and people were talking about them, she'd have a great time. Yeah, maybe you're right. You know, I think you've gotta allow your mom to be an adult woman now. She's an adult woman now. She's all grown up. She's becoming a woman.

No, so it's not your mom or my mom. It is Zachary Stein Camp. That is a fantastic name. Mm-hmm. Or it could be Stein comp. Mm-hmm. Sure. I don't know. Stein comp. Well, I don't know what that means. Well, it's a bit, it rhymes a bit with mine comp. Yes, I know that. Yeah. No, I know what that is. I just was like, because Comf in that is my struggle. My struggle. So Comf is struggle, because I guess mine is probably my.

Yeah, sometimes I feel like this about other languages. Like I was listening to a podcast, but they read something out in Latin and then they said the translation. I was like, I could have worked that out. Yeah. Like work was laborum. And I'm like, that out. Right. Like you don't work with LeBoram. And I'm like, well that's all meus.

Yeah, no, I think you're right. You will treat Latin like it's this big, hard thing to learn. I thought it's all, it's you get it. It's just sort of gobbledygook, you know? But you can like, you can see there was a longer. Yeah. It's just a long version of it. And they put a lot of ums on things,

but that's just hesitation. Mm-hmm. I put a lot of ums on things, but that's just hesitation. Mm-hmm. I hear you. They're lacking confidence. Yeah. Zachary Stoney Camp, thank you so much for sending in that. And for your pledge to the Patreon, anybody who wants the pledge can do that, helps especially during these long dry periods of unemployment.

The drought. All right. First word is, I'm going to try and guess what the first word is. Rubber eyes? God, you're so far off. There's two words. Rubber eyes. Rubber eyes. To rubber eyes, something.

To make it rubbery. No, you were saying rubber eyes. How long was it? OK. OK. First word is haber okay. Okay, first word is habberdastory. Mm-mm. Second word, do you wanna have a guess? Which?

No. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. It's Quetzacotl. Oh, okay. Quetzacotl. Quetzacotl.

The Aztec lizard god. I think so. Do you want to try and get to the third one? Oh, okay. Does it sound with an N? No. Okay, well then I'll say powder finger. Skits of freinia.

Oh yeah, okay. Habadashari quetzicotl skits of freinia. God indeed. Alright. Look, okay. Habadashari as I understand is sort of making clothes and that sort of thing, is that right? I believe so. I feel like trying to make clothes for Quetzalcoatl,

the feathered lizard god of the Aztec people would be a great way to get schizophrenia. So you think, okay. Or do you think it would be a sign of schizophrenia? Yeah, you're right. I guess unless the person was real. So if somebody is making clothes for them, knowing that Quetzal so cool is real.

But then, part way through it, they get admitted to a patriarchal system of mental health. This is set in the 1940s. Where women's emotional responses to things are pathologized, so is it? But I think also doctors are kind of, they're acting as like father figures who know what's best and also that they have total control over you. Right, so this is sort of around the Marilyn Monroe kind of period where like she ended up moving in with and then maybe marrying her psychologist or something. A real weird stuff like that. Yeah. Just like just like a professional dad. Professional dad. That's what a psychology and degree used to be and that's was the golden age. For being a psychologist. Why so many psychologists have beards and smoke pipes. That's the uniform

of a professional dad. These days I think a scientist I mean, a psychologist is more like an uncle. So you don't really necessarily have to listen to. And you can consult your family, things like that. And maybe they're a little bit fun. They can be fun. That's what happens now, because they, you know, we all have uncles with specialist knowledge. Now, people get, it becomes like psychologists. I imagine to help people, because they want to help people.

But like, at least some percentage of that, reason that they become psychologists has to be, because you get to listen to some fucked up shit. Right? Like, it's basically gossip. Yeah. Right? You are, you're in a position where people pay you to tell you their gossip. What an amazing scam.

But also the juicy stuff. Yeah, oh, it's real juicy. It's real juicy. It's like the stuff that it was so juicy, it's done them psychological harm. Do you? But then it's almost like a curse, right? Because the genie who you wish to know everybody's gossip

then said, ah, but you can't tell anybody. Yeah. That's a shame. That's a shame. And then you go, and then they said, also said, and you'll get secondary trauma from hearing all these stories. You'll have to take time off, which you love though.

So it's a mix bag of things. Is there a sketch in there? There is something in there somewhere. Yeah. I do like the idea though, just to step back one second of a professional dad. Right. Oh, dude, of course that's it.

You know, you can go and you can pay them by the hour to be your dad. And it's only I guess within the boundaries of their office or something like that. But in the dad zone. Once you enter the dad zone, they are your dad. And I might make a bed living. About the dad zone before?

I'm not sure. Getting dad zoned. My kids have really dad zoned me recently. I mean, that could happen even in sort of, you know, you're dating and then you realize that somebody that you're trying to see romantically, they've just dead zoned you and they've started treating you. You thought it was moving towards a romantic thing

but they've started treating you like they've started borrowing money from you. And they started asking for permission to go to this. And presenting you. Yeah, and presenting you started having to ask permission to go to the sort of the playground or the, we're belly against you. We're belly against you.

And, but then also coming to you sometimes when somebody's bullying them, you know, entrusting you with certain information, but not others, that they think might be too revealing. Less they fear, less you may judge them. I think it's interesting that the friend zone, we only really traditionally think of like the friend zone as being something that you don't want to be put into because you are trying to get into this, the friend zone. We only really traditionally think of like the friend zone as being something that

you don't want to be put into because you were trying to get into the bone zone. Sure. But the friend zone, presumably, is something that you could really want to get into, right? Like you might want to be friends with this person. I want to get into the friend zone, but also presumably, like you could be aiming for a different zone, like a business associate zone, and then wind up in the friend zone. Yeah, that could be problematic. I mean, but sometimes you could be attempting to get into the friend zone, and then you get business associated zone. Yeah. Or you might get, you know, in weirder circumstances, Or you might get, and weirder circumstances, people could become postman-zoned. Or something like that,

you were trying to become friends with this person. You end up being their postman? Post person. Yeah. I don't know how, I mean, this is somebody talking about the various, because I mean, friends on it obviously is not, it's such a weird, complaining kind of idea, because in the end, friends is all we really

have. Even somebody who you become lovers with in the end, when all that lust and stuff fades away, what you got yourself is just a long term friend. A real quality friend, a highly accessible, very local. Very local. Friend. Yeah. Is there a movie called The Postman? I'd be amazed if that's the look for grabs.

Because really, the lawnmower man, that movie The lawnmower man, really should have been called The Postman, right? And instead of mowing people's lawns, he should have been a postman because when he transcends into that sort of weird cyber-human thing, he is postman, right? And then there would have been a- I have no idea this movie is. Oh, there's a movie called The Lawn Moa Man, about a guy who, I think he's a bit mentally

handicapped and he mows people's lawns, but then some scientist does experiments on him and he becomes like a super genius, weird, dimensionally transcendent, I haven't seen the film. But it should have been called the postman because he really becomes, you know, transhuman postman, man. And then there would have been a pun in that. And that's what makes a good film.

Why isn't there an Oscar for best title? You know what I've told you about dimensions, and I've been like, I'm pretty sure scientists for scientists, dimensions, or physicists or whatever, dimensions is just like, you know, like up, down, left, right? Those kind of dimensions. I saw physicists say this, I mean, he was explaining it to a five-year-old or a sort of like that. But he was like, yeah, basically, the number of dimensions is the amount of numbers that you need to describe a location.

So like, if we say there are 12 dimensions or whatever, so let's say in a 3D thing, you go, or in a 1D thing, let's say along a line, you go, oh, well, I just need to tell you I'm 14 centimeters in that line, let's say along a line, you go, oh, well, I just need to tell you I'm 14 centimeters in that line. That's one dimension. Yeah. And then the two, anyway, so 12, it is just dimensions like that. Whereas people always talk about, you know, going to another place.

A parallel dimension and so on. Well, but how does that, but I think when people talk about going to a different place, they're talking about the many worlds into a rotation of quantum possibility and that sort of thing. That means that every decision or every event that could go two ways, in some sense, each of those things exists in parallel dimensions. I think when we're talking about that, we're not actually talking about the numbers to determine. No, of course, but I think my,

I guess my comment was just about how, when we hear physicists talk about dimensions, and we say, oh, they found a new dimension. Right, sure, sure. Or something like that. Yeah. People always go, oh, well, when really should they if she'd go?

Oh. Oh. Well, then every piece of science news should be prefaced by a little sound by it, like that, which sort of tells you at sort of what level you're supposed to respond to it. Is this a woe or is this a? Yeah. And it's a sort of what emojis are for, but a bit of sound. But of course, websites, they get all their clicks off of you thinking that it's a,

whoa! When really it's a, oh. Yeah. Now look, do you think professional dad and getting dad's owned, which is two separate sketches, count as fitting into Mr. Steincamps? Quetzicotal, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great.

I mean, all Zachary, person with two amazing names, has given us three words that absolutely are on par with the two names of Zachary Steincamps. Great. What a feast of consonants and vowels. But I mean, are you saying that these two sketches are fit? Absolutely, they are. Because it just has to be inspired by.

Inspired by Alistair, I thought I would have made this clear by now. And sometimes I just need a reminder. Thank you. Every one of my epiphanies needs to be re-appiphanized. Here we go, I'm going to take you through the sketches for this week. Double dirty becomes awesome. I'm not looking for, I'm not looking for a deer in some of these. Double dirty becomes wholesome. Double dirty becomes. I'm not looking for, I'm not looking for a tearing some of this. Double dirty becomes wholesome. Double dirty. 69 69 is just a kiss on the lips. I think that's it. When we got, I tell, I tell a sizing the

leaning tower of pizza. That's basically it's just, I mean, that's what we're saying that happened to them. But I mean, really, it was just based off the idea that I talisizing, I think that there must actually be a connection to that. There isn't Alistair that isn't, when they talk about italicizing things, they're not referring to the leaning tower of pizza. They're referring to something to do with Italy, maybe because something away the way the way that like hand writing was taught in Italy or something like that or the way they wrote some shit, I don't know, but it won't be the leaning

tower of pizza. I bet you $100. God, I could really use this money. Wait, do I have to? No. Okay. No, I will just give you $100. All right. No, I bet you my share of this latest Patreon... ...but... ...alright.

Well, I don't know if I can... This podcast is just getting addressed. We've monetized it within the podcast now. We pay each other for being wrong about shit. Well, Andy pays me and I don't have to scampal. All right, then we have take a life which is have a life and bring it around with you. Yeah. You know, and it's a new campaign. And that's a sketch. It's a new campaign for exercising and things like that. Because exercising and getting the joy from sport is what means that you have a life and it means that you're out and about

moving around taking that life with you. Now, in computer games, you can have multiple lives, right? And that means that if you die, you get to have another chance, right? We should do that in real life, right? Now, obviously we can't actually make people die and come back and that sort of thing. But let's just have an honesty system whereby anytime somebody's going to kill you, right? You have a little thing like on your wrist or whatever that just like says how many lives you've got left. And if they're gonna kill you and you've still got lives left, you can show them and say, well, actually, I've got lives left. I'll just cross out one of these. You don't kill me. And then I,

you know, you can have another go later on at killing. That's nice. Yeah. What if they go, I'm going to just kill you six times now. They're not allowed. There's like a 30 seconds or something where they're allowed they have to let you go. And respawn. We call it respawning. Basically that just means they let you run away to somewhere. And where you can hide. 40 meters away. Okay. What if you're a little kid and they're a grown adult? Well, that's not good for you. I guess but then they can still be arrested for each of

one of those killings. Yeah, yeah, totally. Each killing still counts as a murder. Great, and they have to do like 12 life sentences. Yeah. But they have 12 lives, so they might still get out. Yeah, great. There's 12, I know, sorry, there's ice cream waffle cone avoidance of billionaires. So the

that's the reason that billionaires are rich is because they never go for the waffle. This is exactly my kind of idea, which is a boring B shit. That is like that kind of shit is exactly where my mind goes when I'm like, what's a great sketch idea? That. Yeah. Yeah. And then I hear it back and I hate myself. No, but it's a detail in a bigger thing, you know, and those are important.

Thank you. Their ideas? Well, that's all I want to be from life is to be a detail in a bigger thing. And important. Yeah. Universally adored. And then I've just wrote Buffet, Buffett's an idiot, old car repairs. And how it would just cost him so much more to keep these old cars, these old billionaires

who think, oh, I just still drive the old pickup truck. I assume. Look, maybe it's genuinely really cheap. Nah. And then we got this climate change spin. We need these people who are in here, you know, trying to spin climate change spend. We knew there's the people who are in here you're not trying to spend climate change so that people can still feel good because there's gonna be a real deficit of feeling good.

Well, we're gonna run out of hope, right? And once climate change is unavoidable, utterly unavoidable, which it may already be, right? We could be totally fucked when we probably are. But like once everybody accepts that, then all the people who have been campaigning against, you know, trying to get us to stop climate change, what's left for them? Well, now they're going to have to, we're going to have to try and turn things around and be

like, well, now this is the reality. What's some good stuff we can get excited about? Yeah. Great. Fresh water swimming. Noah's Ark rocket where all the animals are dead and fuel. That's to escape this planet and just use everything we've got as fuel to potentially get us to the next planet. Then we got professional dad. That's when you...

Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Bonnie. Say hi to the hour. He'll be your dad. Throw a ball. Throw a ball, you know, ignore your walls reading the newspaper. Yeah. Cook a ravioli like a routine.

It only happens in the office. So like, he's not going to come around and fix your guttering or something like that. You can take along a little bit of guttering with you, and it'll help you fix it in the office. It all takes place in the office. He works from home.

You go visit your dad. Kind of thing. Instead of saying, tell me about your mother, he says, house mom. Yeah. House mom. I think I could make money doing this. Maybe I'll start putting an ad on country. I'll be your dad for an hour.

I think you might get some interesting. I think I'd like that. I think I'd great. And then getting dad's owned, trying to date somebody. What's great is if you're a lady. And you get dad's own. And you get dad's own. That's exciting.

Let's see. He just, he bought me socks. I think this would be a great. I think this could be a great like this be an episode of Seinfeld a lane gets dad zone, right? She thinks she's dating a guy and then suddenly he starts asking you to help out with things around the house And that sort of thing and before you know it she's in the dad zone. Yeah I think he's I think he's treating me like I'm his dad you got dad zone I don't know which character that was the first thing.

I'm drinking a lot of that's you got dad zone you're in the dad zone. I was like but ban you? yeah maybe I mean I was trying to be Jerry but I don't know what Jerry said. That's okay. You got dad zone! Yeah, maybe. I mean, I was trying to be Jerry, but I don't know what Jerry says. That's okay. I got a dingo! Ringa dinga dinga dinga ding ding. Ringa dinga dinga ding ding.

With a ring on a ding and a ding and my ring, ring, ring, ring, a ring, a ding, ding, ring, ding. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Somebody answered that phone. Thank you so much for listening. Listen to this podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I think we're still recovering from 200 in some way. No, I'm recovering from something. I had two beers last night.

Did you? Yeah, they were quite strong. I got beer that was $21 off for a six pack. Wow. Yeah, so how much was it? It was $17. So what they were like? It was a Sierra Sierra Nevada this expensive one

They've got right and it was $21 off more than 50% off beer Anyway, but it's an unbelievably expensive. Yeah, so it's like that was for a six pack or four a six pack Really it was like when you buy it regularly. It feels like it's $21 on right? Yeah Yeah, I mean I got a beer the other day that was There was a $32 for a for a backpack and then but then they didn't have any four packs So they only had the standard they said one can left and it was $11 for just a regular can But it's one of the best beers I've ever had. It's the Balter regular can. But it's one of the best beers I've ever had.

It's the Balter. The Hazee Isle. The Hazee, yeah, the Daisy. 11 dollars for him. Yeah, but you know, it's genuinely like, it's like a craft beer, it doesn't just taste like craft beer because most craft beer does, just taste like it, like it's just the same thing. Really hoppy, bit passion fruity.

Just out of interest, I'll say, if you've even paid any money by the Balter Company recently. I didn't add for the recently. But it was like, it wasn't this huge, it was a three-month thing. But if you guys go to the Bolter Brewing Instagram... Well, I'll link to that below. Yeah, the Bolter Brewing Instagram. I mean, Nick Kapper didn't add,

that three ads for them, where I am a sort of a comedy dumb actor. Anyway, you can follow us on Twitter. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. for them where I am a sort of a comedy dumb actor. Anyway, you can follow us on Twitter. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. I'm at Alistair TV. We're at Two in Tank. You can review us on iTunes. We would like that.

We love that. You can support us on Patreon. I recently did an episode of Shushar that you can go back on. You recently did some SansPants radio stuff as well. Would you like to flag that? I've done some SansPants radio stuff, but I think it won't come out for a few weeks.

Okay, sure. But I've done three episodes all up. Yeah. Now I've done the Death Star, the plumbing Death Star. I've done a shut up a second and I've done a Jackson Bailey. Spooks in America, but that's a bonus one. There's some really fun content out there. There's some great stuff.

And the other day you've been on fire recently, you were funny on everything you go on. That's very, very nice. And you're funny on everything you go on. Thank you very much. Endlessly. And you carry this podcast and you carry it on that week back of yours. Yeah. I actually think I've got a good back. No, you do have a good back. I've been trying to fuck up my back You know this is like that time I tried to take up smoke and try to fuck up your back whenever I lift anything I tell people I'm gonna live with my knees, but I don't even really know what that means I just bend over at my waist and I pick it up with my back. I think that's picking every single time I don't yeah lifting with your knees. That's not real. That's a myth.

Yeah. Where did these ever listed anything? Nothing. And we love you. Harry's not comfortable. So that's something tank. This podcast is. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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