Two In The Think Tank - 209 - "PERINEMEUS"

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Non Chastity Belt, P, Sleeping Rough, Telesex, Method Director, Homeopathy Depot, You Got A Door You Got A DaughterHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereFirst thanks in space to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, pink thing. Stu, Stu in the pink. Wank bank? No. No. The pink wank bank. Let's have one called two in the wank bank, where we just think of erotic ideas. Just the new fantasies for people to have. We could come up with an erotic sketch. An erotic sketch show.

That's what people are looking for. They want people love sex. Yes. Okay. Yes. We know for. They want people love sex. Yes. Okay. We know that. They love it. We've established. That's been established.

And by actively avoiding it, we're actively avoiding getting into success. Success and fame. And I think it's because of that thing that people say that they're afraid of success. Mm-hmm. Or getting success can be very hard. It's either the other. Yeah. Um, I think that we have the potential to offer our services to,

because you know pornography, you're aware of this. Uh, okay, just, I mean, remind me. Why don't we punch up the scripts? Why can't we be making them funny? Because why wouldn't you also have a good laugh? Hmm, but why doesn't have to be, why pornography? Is pornography erotic? I mean, I feel like it's too fallen to be erotic.

Right, yeah, see what you mean. You know, it's like, it's like, is murder suspense. Mm-hmm. So, you know, a murder isn't itself, it's sort of exciting, because it's just murder. And that's what it feels like porn is. It's just the act of sex.

It's not that great part before sex, where you're not having sex. But you might, and it's very exciting. And it's still filled with possibility. And that's in filled with possibility. And that's in essence what this podcast is. We haven't, we're not really creating the sketches for people. This is the full-play element.

Yeah, and a sketch. And it's the more fun part. Tantilizing. It's the erotic part where you're like, oh, these sketches could be anything. Imagine how funny they could be if they did make them. And you don't have to do any of the work. Because that's what people don't tell you about sex,

is that it's quite exquisite, you know, it's draining. And the few times I've had it, right, I know that it can be quite intense on the abs. Yes. And, and that's all I know. Yeah. Because I never get past that. Yeah, I never get past that. Yeah, I never get past that I have pain.

You're right, this is the pre-section. And the laughs that people emit listening to this is sort of pre-con. Yes. Or any kind of lubrication that your body is emitting in anticipation of getting comedy. Mm-hmm. Uh, yeah, I have a friend who before he laughs, goes,

eh, like when you're getting up to the punch line of a joke, you can see it coming, you can go, eh. Uh. Ah. It's like that kid from the... And that's enough for me. That kid from the grudge, his, that's the horror version is...

Like that, the comedy version is... Oh, this is gonna be so good! Because that is, and he's spot on, that is the sound that your brain makes. When you think you're about to hear a good joke. You can see where it's going and yeah. And there's an element that, because you do want that build up.

If it comes too fast, you won't, there's not enough pressure to release. And look, this might be letting out a lot, but I've found, especially in my younger teenage years, that if you get yourself to orgasm too quick, you also almost feel nothing. Yeah. Because there's no tension. Okay.

And so you go, wait a second, I've just finished. Where was the orgasm? Where was it? Did that happen? Yeah. Did I was it? Did that happen? Yeah. Did I fight it? And so then you're like, ah, well hopefully at least I'll get flooded with some endorphins

later and I'll feel a bit relaxed. Yeah, and that'll sort of do something to deal with the shame that I'm currently feeling. That's right, but I'd clean up all this mess. But I gotta say, I didn't just masturbate in order to delay gratification. In many ways, I was the opposite of what I was trying to achieve. I wasn't gonna be like, oh, well, maybe I'll feel a bit better for this and you know, an hour's time or... If my primary motivation was to feel good eventually,

masturbation wouldn't have been my go-to. Yeah. I would have, I don't know. I learned to play an instrument. Exactly. Is that a sketch? I mean, I guess there's an idea of somebody who's trying to get you to do those long-term benefit things, like that long-term happiness, things like learning an instrument or

working on a skill or you know managing you know or cultivating a relationship But they they've applied a new technique which is based on the things that they've learned while masturbating about Getting joy straight away. So how can you get joy straight away? I mean, it could just be a product that releases orgasm type feelings when you pick up your guitar and have a strum. I think I must say you're exactly onto it, right? Because what is orgasm, but like the bodies sort of that bit at the end of like a level of

sonic where they give you the trophy and you see how many wings rings you've got, right? That's the the big payoff after all this work that you've done. So I think if we are ultimately to improve humanity and to gamify, and that's how you improve things, you gamify it. That's right, if we could have game. To gamify existence, to encourage people to do the right thing, what we need is for everybody to be fitted, man, woman, other, with a device that covers the genitals and any other relevant to Roger and his zones, right? And then detects your behavior and then delivers sexual gratification in proportion to your productivity,

whether or not you're working towards your goals. So I think that if you had something over your genitalia and it would deliver you, absolutely, exactly what you need, but only in metered out so that like every page of your novel that you're right, you get a little bit more of that, right? It could be with those underpants that now like absorb period blood, things like that. Yeah, go on.

I mean, you just have one of those on so that you're not constantly having to like, you know, this would work for both genders. Yes, yes. To mop up the jacket. To mop up it because you're're gonna be coming a lot, you're thinking this? I think so, yeah, because you'll be like, well, now I'm gonna go help the homeless

and then that'll activate your device. Yeah, but I think that there would be different settings, so presumably like you wouldn't, like you don't get an orgasm for every homeless person that you serve at the soup kitchen, right? You might only get the organism, the orgasm after a month of going every single day. Well, no, Andy, now you're going back to long-term rewards. But, well, that's okay, but that's okay.

Because look, if I'm going to get an orgasm at the end of a month, then I'm just going to go waste that time masturbating again. No, you can't, because the machinery, the implement is covering your genitals and you can't get to it. I don't think so. The only way to do it is to finish it. That's fine. That's fine. I am redirecting the human animal instincts

towards bringing us closer to the angels with a big, wanking machine. Well, guess what? I've just started a competitor's company. This one. This one. you can take it up. You can take it up. You can take it up. You can take it up.

You can take it up. That's right. I wonder who's going to be more successful. Yeah. I believe that people are willing to delay gratification. But the whole point was to stop having to delay gratification. I changed the whole point halfway through without telling you, Alistair, I didn't reveal until the end.

And you're like the government. Yeah. Well, I think that mine is maybe more with mine. Wholesome, wholesome, sure. And but that's what the gratification you get from helping people anyway comes. You could even get it after one day. Correct. Of helping people. So you're worse even get it after one day. Correct. I'm helping people.

So you're worse than the original system. Great. So you're, people are spending money to get, have a, a worse time. I'm not saying they're necessarily spending money. And it's like I am going back to the idea that this is implemented by the government. But also that they're, they're, they're now also with

your system, they're also going to have the shame of knowing that they're trying to get sexual, sexual gratification from. Not if everybody's doing it.ification from not if everybody's doing it I know if everybody's doing it and they might not even be trying They might just be a good person trying to help the needy But now because this thing has been implanted and screwed into their pelvis bones by the government They don't have any choice but that at the end of the month. They're gonna get that orgasm I'm sorry. You's like an oncoming train.

Mm-hmm. You can fill a building up and tell you what, the government has got you passed the point of no return. Correct. And there's no amount of pelvic squeezing that's gonna stop that orgasm from a cullin. Mm-hmm.

ScytheSpeak. Anyway, so there's two versions there. Oh, both equally valid. One perhaps slightly better than the other one, but both equally valid. And, and, and I can't, I'm not, let's just say that I'm not saying that you won't still be able to bring other people to a place of sexual gratification when you've got this thing screwed over everybody's generals, but you will do it by downloading some sort of points that you've earned from your good deeds into their machine. And then that way sex is actually a lot more meaningful because you're, but that would

mean that no, but then you could download yours into theirs to get them there. Yeah, I think it still works. I didn't hear any of that. No, that's fine. But I want you to know that yours is a form of fascism. And mine is something to help people attain their long-term goals by using short-term joy. Mine is a sort of a brave new world, genital fascism. You're being, everyone is being held onto the iron dildo.

It's like it's like it's like it's both somewhere between a chastity belt and but also a chastity belt that's like a vibrator and a like a like a fake bit you know a fake yeah it is giving the government total control over yeah I've got a certain levels of satisfaction and you know and then at the end of the month, what they'll do is the government will, or the Reserve Bank, or the Reserve Bank, they'll be called, will, I'm sorry. We'll release the new sort of data about, like, now it's going to take this many good deeds to get one orgasm, that kind of things. And they'll devalue.

Somehow people are nations to charity. Somehow, like, you know, like the financial institutions will find a way to like trade these things. Absolutely. To make millions of dollars. And so that we're getting less and less from each good deed. Correct. It'll turn into a kind of more of a capital, oligarchy.

There'll be like water credits. What is it? What are they? Anyway, let's not come into that. And how the Murray Darling based on where you just worked out. You don't want to go into that? You don't want to go into how we're trading the, you know, you're a great irrigation in the settlements.

In a similar way, I think it will just lead us towards less wetness. Correct. Dry in the riverbed. Yeah. Would you consider your pelvic area a basin of swords? Well, it's sort of the opposite of a basin, isn't it? Because it's down below, it's like the bottom of a bowl,

and wetness sort of drips off it, rather than collecting pooling in it. Yeah, right. So yours is kind of more like a duck's back. Yeah, but the duck is upside down. Yeah. So the duck's front, the duck's belly, so do the duck's basin. I think you've taken that last little one. you've made a bit of a leap there. Haven't you, from ducks barely to ducks basin? I was hoping that people would go with you on that, but I think that's a...

I think you'll find listeners when along with me. If I do find listeners. Yeah, but I have no idea what a basin really is. I mean, I think of a basin with like a sink. I'm very more, from the ducks point of view, I'd be more interested about like water off a duck's front, right? Like whether or not water comes off and ducks back is all very well,

the ducks back may or may not get wet. I mean, the ducks back probably will get wet, but the ducks belly definitely will get wet. Yeah, but I think that maybe its feathers are so repellent to water repellent that maybe the water never touches its skin. It's belly. The skin of its belly. Skin of its belly.

Because I think I would consider the feathers still a part of the duck. Oh, totally. Yeah. I would. But I have like a nice skin. Duck skin? I don't think so. I think that but I have like a nice skin. Duck skin? I don't think so. I think that's why like when you pluck a duck,

pluck a duck, or pluck a chicken or any kind of foul of any kind, that you get goose pimples, are like that sort of lumpy. I like that. You like that, that's what you like. I like that, that's when I'm running my hands along somebody's skin, that's what you like. I like that, that's when I'm running my hands along somebody's skin, that's what I want. I want a topography.

Yeah, you like a bit of roughness. Well, it's not rough. Bit of grip. It's not rough, it's like flying over the Himalayas, but with your hand. Sure. You know, there's a texture, something to look at, something to touch. Mm-hmm. You know, I would necessarily say that it's rough, because it's still skin.

I think texture is something that really we've overlooked as a species, from the point of you, there's beard and there's stubble. But other than that, we've fetishized smoothness, right? It is all, it's all about being smooth. But I can picture a world in which we strategically reintroduce patches of roughness that will allow greater levels of grip, greater, you know, and as you say, something more to touch to experience. Something to look at with your hands. Mm-hmm. Yes. They say the first bite is with the eye and the first look is with the hands. I don't know why they say that. They sound crazy, but they do. You can't argue with them.

Well, I mean, what where is this a problem right now? Would you say? What about white painted walls? Do you think that they're two? Well, I was talking about on the human body. It was all in the human body. I was primarily getting. So how could we start?

Do you think just like, sort of lightly cutting people with razor blades? How is sort of grafting some kind of sand paper type thing on just sort of like the top of the thighs? Right? Because that feels like an area where if two people engaged in some kind of activity could get a bit of grip on each other there, like I feel like other things, you know, we've sacrificed a lot in order to get the smoothness that we want. And that thing that we've sacrificed is grip, right? So you might be able to get a better overall outcome

by allowing a little bit of grip in some strategic areas, right? Where are, and we could do this with the Nautilus, we'd have to watch a lot of people grab and go on at each other. So you're talking about sex. So again, yeah. I mean, look at, I mean, this could be... This potentially could be the erotic episode.

Yeah. To in the bank. To be the erotic episode. Yeah. To win the bank. To win the pink and the bank. To wait. What was it? To win the pink, bank. To win the pink, bank. There you go.

I think I've been having trouble getting past this part where humans have given up a lot to get this smoothness. Yeah, you don't buy into that? I mean, is it, I think maybe because I didn't feel like we designed our bodies. But maybe... No, but we are removing hair. We are demonizing wrinkles, pimples, all that kind of stuff that might give a bit more of the roughness, of

the grip, the non-slip surfaces. And so, yeah, I think bring some of those back. I'm picturing things that are sort of like, look like elbow patches that you would have on like a tweed jacket or something, but they are a bit sandpapery and they are on the thighs, maybe on the outside of the calves, maybe on the upper arm. Yeah. And maybe like, maybe we could sort of, what if like Botox, but it was curdled. Okay. Yes. And so it's like a, it's Botox, but instead of making you smooth, it kind of makes you wrinkly like a Mandarin, like a Mandarin skin. You know, but instead of making you smooth, it kind of makes your wrinkly like a mandarin skin.

You know, like one of those wrinkly mandarin skins? More like what I'm really thinking of is a caffer lime skin. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. Well, maybe the outside of a pineapple. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Absolutely. Any textured surface. I mean, we could, you could inject a bunch of fruit loops under your skin. Yeah, absolutely. You could.

Yes. Bubble wrap. I think we're sort of inventing those body modification people who get that, those silicone implant of the shape of a gecko underneath their eyelid and then they die of sepsis. We need three weeks later. But we need to do this in a way that still makes those people weird. I think it needs to happen through shaping the skin from the outside. So you know, okay, so let's say very natural thing is to wake up from sleep and you've

got the indent of the pillow on your face. Right? So what about that, but on purpose and throughout the day? Alastair, this is so good. Yeah, because you introduce the textured pillow. You sleep on that overnight. You get those indentations in your face. Right, and then that's a feature.

That's something new. Right, and it's non-invasive. It could replace beards. It could. Yeah, you might... Like the pillows that you'd have to sleep on to get a textured chin and upper lip area would be quite interesting and possibly quite dangerous from a suffocation

point of view. And I think you've got to take risks. Absolutely. This is what it's all about and grip. It's about that risk, about taking risks and grip and patterns. And then you know, you could get a, there's no reason why it should only be the pillow. The whole, the whole bed could be made out of some kind of silicon. You know, that's... A little bed of course, Ellis, there, I love it.

And can we sleep in a giant sandwich press? Okay. I like this. That is perfectly molded to our body. And it would feel like a hug. It would be. Yeah, and then you've got a little hole to breathe through. Just one. A couple of little holes. Yeah.

Right, and then're trapped in there. But when you come out in the morning with that freshly waffle-cone belly, waffle-cone, or you could just, you know, it could be that Gucci bag pattern for the fancy- On your Gucci. The Gucci pattern on your Gucci. Crazy that one of the biggest luxury brands in the world is called Gucci. Yeah, that is.

I came up with it when I was thinking about the area between my testicles and my anus. And I decided, what are the other words for that area? Taint. Paraniam. Taint. Yeah, that is the taint, right?

That is the taint, right? That is the taint, Andy. So it is basically the equivalent of having a luxury fashion brand called Tainto. Tainto, Tainty. Tainto lot. Yeah. I love Taint. Mm.

A lot like the Taint. Gucci is synonymous. Is it, you know, synonym for. Taint like. Or a pet for tank-like. Or per- Tankish. Or perine- Perineamus. Mm.

Perinemias? Perinemias. That sounds. Right, this is the great god who's, the great person who stole perineyams from the gods. Yeah. At one point, everybody's anus used to touch their genitals. Paranemias. Are you right, damn Paranemias? Of course. But we also, I think we should write down the sleeping sandwich press. Of course.

Sandwich press bread. Bed. Yeah. I mean, the real idea there is the pattern skin. I mean, the real idea there is the patterned skin. Yeah, of course. But the, the perinemias who stole taint from the gods. Who is the person that were parodying with that name? The guy who stole fire. But for the... It sounds like the Prometheus was either one who stole

fire from the gods. But I believe so, yeah. There's a lot of origin stories of fire that involve people stealing from them. There is another name of someone, one of those Greek mythological characters, whose name sounds a bit more like perinemias. But...

Perim... Perim. No, I don't know what it is. But I think... This Prometheus character is very good. Because... Ultimately, I think the being ableheus character is very good, because ultimately I think the being able to get a bit of professional distance between your genitals and your anus is maybe a bigger breakthrough for humanity

than the discovery of fire. Yeah, but I mean, it also created a real split in that now we think of what it the cloaca right before that we would have had a cloaca probably it would have been a cloaca. It was it was perinemias who separated like that split it like an atom. That's right. They we used to think the cloaca was the smallest unit of genital. Then you could have and then he split it into two. Yeah. And he totally he showed us. It would have released so much energy. They would have been a big explosion.

But uh wait, oh yeah. But then also, it kind of created a split between good and evil. And in the front, the front gen. Are you judging the genitalia in that way? I think the front genitals are considered good. Lawful good. Lawful good and the back genitals are considered evil.

Yeah. And the moral judgments that are placed on how you use those. How you, and variously combine the various I mean you you can see that it's a it's a it's an emotion that affects even dogs when you look at the the shame on their face while they're pooping Hmm, but then they go around and sniff each other's buttons like it's the best thing Sure, but that's not using it. That's you're using your nose in that case. The first The first sight is with the nose.

The first smell is with the nose. Yeah, very good. Very good. I'm glad we finally got this. We should probably move away from the, you know, the human body and all this kind of filth.

Um, why? I don't know, I must say. I had an idea before and it felt like I was… Can I tell you, is this too dumb a gag I've thought of, right? It's, I come out and I'm telling some people some joke or some story about me, but I've also got a pad and I'm starting to draw like the person in front of me and I'm sort of holding my thumb up

and I'm staring at it and I say, don't move like that and I'm drawing like that and I'm continuing to tell this story and then I'm holding my thumb up and I'm looking at him like that And I'm drawing like that and then I finished my story. There's a big laugh. I guess from that story I don't know what that is yet But then I turn it around and the drawing is of my thumb My favorite picture where you tell a story the story, there's a big laugh. I got a huge laugh.

You're written in a big laugh. I've written a big laugh in there. Do you think that'll work? No, I think that's a really good joke. Yeah. I think that's awesome. While you were talking about it, I had an idea, which again, I've forgotten.

Why are you doing your holding up? I'm telling a great story. But there is something about that, you know, that painters used to hold their thumb up like that. I go and get my, I go and, this would be my joke, which wouldn't go as well as yours, right? But my joke would be along the lines of, I've been getting my portrait painted a lot recently,

just because I'm addicted to the free thumbs up that you get from the artist, but they try to... Well, that's good. Yeah. Oh, I don you get from the artist, but they try to. That's good. Yeah. Oh, I don't know if the listeners did you adequately model for the listeners what the thumbs up thing you would do? My thumb up because I'm, oh, sorry, I like you know, I was into to get an idea of the

relative proportions of different parts of the body. Yeah, the proportions because it's when you're originally laying out the drawing, you want to get the proportions right because that's said in the foundation for where everything is gonna go later on. And so you're gonna continue adding layers and color and textures and things like that to add more realism to it. But if you don't get those proportions right.

You're gonna be able to do all this physically because you've got both holding the pad and holding it up on the hand. I tried it on the wife last time. I tried it on Indiana. And although she's so good because she like, I wasn't looking at my, I wasn't sort of focusing enough, I was just kind of holding my thumb up.

Yeah. And also it was before I had come up with this idea of having a great story. And a huge laugh. And the huge laugh. It would be a huge laugh there. And you know, so. So she was telling you you've got to look more at the thumb.

You got to spend more time kind of squinting and making the focusing and making sure that it seems like you're doing that proportion thing, because people might be like, what the fuck are you holding your thumb up for? Right. You might forget that I'm acting like an artist. But I think most people will... I think most people know about that trope of the holding up the thumb and we've probably seen, I don't know, caravaggio do it.

I hope an episode of Doctor Who or some crap where they go back and talk to caravaggio. And then like just before they get back into the tardust, Doctor Who says something about like, oh, turn out the lights or something like that. And then it's all dark, and then that becomes Caravaggio's classic use of darkness in his painting, of course.

And then we're like, oh, great. Yeah, that's how that happens. That's how that happened when Dr. Who did that thing. I haven't watched a single episode of Dr. Who. Look, I probably have watched about a single episode and that's been enough for me to form a really critical judgment of it and feel like I can parody it accurately. Yeah, I... But I have also sought out opinions of other people who agree with me that it's bad,

so that counts as research. I also want to let our listeners know if anyone has seen somebody do that thumb joke before, don't tell me. I've watched enough comedy and not seen it done, that I can live comfortably in knowing that it probably does exist somewhere, but I'm not influenced by it and I don't need to know about it because I don't have very many jokes for my solo show that I'm going to be doing with the comedy festival this year.

And this is all I got right now. And this is something plus that big laugh you're going to get into the story. The story during the thing. So you know, that's the two laughs so far that there is for my show. I think, I think another, is there some other version of that? Well, we have a pencil. Yes, I've already thought about that. Where what?

Where I'm holding up a pencil. Oh, and you draw on the pencil? Well, that's what the audience will think. And then I'm drawing something else, maybe the person. Well, I think, but there could also be a version, and this might have to be like done as a cartoon or something where somebody's drawing a portrait of a thumb, there's a thumb sitting there waiting

and they're holding up a little person or something. I don't know. This doesn't work. But it would be a, it would be like a far side cartoon or something. And underneath it would say thumb artists, right? And it'd be one person who's an artist, right? And they're dressed in an old robe or whatever they've got in the easel, but their head is a thumb.

And then they're painting another person who's dressed up, but their head is also a thumb. And the thumb artist is holding up a little person. Like it's such a, this, I'm sorry. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, but I mean, they're holding it up and there's a man that comes off of their sort of thumb and hand. Where their thumb would be? There's a little...

I mean, it's such a pointless flip. What a dumb thing to imagine. Andy, I had already thought, like, I mean, while you were saying that and I wasn't, you were sort of slow to get to mean, while you were saying that, and I wasn't, you were sort of slow to get to it. So I wasn't listening. So I wasn't listening.

I was, I was, I was, I was, I could go. And then, that's also what I thought of. Yeah. And I went, oh, this is so silly, I won't say it. Yeah. God, I'll let him say his thing. Yeah. That will be better than that.

Sometimes I gotta, sometimes I gotta let you make my mistakes for me. Correct. And then, take ownership of those mistakes, so we share it. Exactly, Andy. And that's why of those mistakes so we share it. Exactly. And that's why people think that we get along because our failure is so closely aligned. Yeah. I mean, we're willing to share the spoils of defeat.

Okay. Why do they call it spoils of victory? You wouldn't call it spoils, would you? You'd call it fresh, don't worry. So you know how I'd had this idea to do a podcast. You know how I'm always coming up with ideas for podcasts, but I don't. You know me too. This one that I'd had, which was called, wait, was was called sex fuck Melbourne.

Yeah, it's bringing, this is the erotic episode. I mean, this is the, yeah, and so, and so I mean, technically this, this idea I've realized is the erotic sketch show that we were discussing at the beginning, but the idea is that we would be documentation of the experimental love making practitioners of Melbourne, like that. And so it'd be people in weird scenarios like that now.

I haven't written it, but I'd be interested in doing it. But I mean, we could try and come up with a sketch for that right now. Yeah, okay, cool. I mean, this is, this is, this is one sort of the, the first thing I think of, right? Would be a sort of a, a glory hole type scenario. But the hole is really, really long, right? The hole is, you know, two or three meters long whole, more like a tunnel, right? Where your genitals could never hope to reach whoever's at the other end. Sure.

But then you would fill the tunnel with something, right? Maybe like rolls of coins, or billiard balls, or whatever. And by putting genitals into one end, you cause things to come out of the other end. Right, and so you get, I for them gives them some kind of excitement of like, I wonder what's gonna come out next, like a lucky dip. Well, similar to this, somebody told me about this prison show

that they were watching where these people were, had created this system that they realized that they could flush these bits of rope, a bit of just string whatever, with like, forks and spoons attached to the end of it. And then it would go down into the other person down below's toilet, and they could intertwine to, they could flush two things, and they would intertwine,

and then they could pass things between the string, with the string. Pulling them down through the toilet. Yeah, both whole system. But what if on either side you had like dildos or whatever like that, and then you were just pushing and pulling each other's dildos? I mean, you can't do the pushing part,

but you can do the pulling part and then the other person pulls back. Well, it's kind of like the full, it's kind of like the, you know, when telephone systems were just like, you know, that idea of like two cans you know, when telephone systems were just like, you know, that idea of like two cans and a bit of string connected.

It's like the phone sex version of that, where you're just using sort of pulleys and... Well, it's a glory sewer. Mm-hmm. Yes. You know, and I don't know whether or not these people got themselves incarcerated so that they could do this or this was members of the experimental love-making scene who were incarcerated later on incarcerated.

I think that it's what I'm seeing now is something that goes a little bit beyond the scope. Well, the strict definition of your experimental lovemaking scene thing. But like mine is now, this is an artistic enterprise, sort of a bit like the Clavaka machine that we've talked about in Mona, right? But this is basically a machine, two machines that are mechanically connected. There are very, very long way apart, right? But it is like you get into it, you climb into this thing like, and it looks like basically sort of like an all-body version

of like those really complicated organs that people used to play at a fair where there's like different levers and things that they can pull. And it just manipulates ropes and pipes and bits of stuff that allow you to then manipulate somebody at their very other very distant end of this machine as well. And they're just connected mechanically, right? And it is a telesex machine, right? And it could be this... They call them the operator. Mm-hmm.

Persons the operator. Yeah. And this could be like, you know, a documentary about this thing that was invented in a pre-electricity kind of world to allow couples who were a long way apart to enjoy each other's time. I see, but I mean, that on the way that's outside the scope of this thing. Oh, just the way I was picturing it being portrayed, I suppose, as a kind of a documentary type. Sure, but I think that's exactly what this idea is. Great. Yeah. Good then. But mine is about a historical thing.

But it could be that too. Still part of your thing. Yeah. I love it, Alistair. I think you just, you just, you just, you just, expansive enough to include it. Is it because you're thinking about starting your own erotic sketch That's right.

Yeah. On some other podcast network. Should I write these down? I think so. Yeah. Sure. I mean, what an erotic episode we're giving people today. I know I'm enjoying it. But isn't that what erotic things are for? Enjoying?

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Mycomputercareer.edu. Enjoying. Hmm. Correct. Yeah, I like to... I think I want everyone to be dressed up in period costume, by the way, in this. Maybe in little recreation sections. Well, I want you to know that it's all audio, so you can say whatever the fuck you want. And it doesn't add anything to the body.

It doesn't add anything to the body, doesn't it? What you want? I mean, unless we're paying per word, and we're like, I'm sorry, I can't put the word period costume in there. And if, when I am writing period pieces, I write the word, they're all in period costume. When I am producing my radio plays, I'm one of those eccentric directors, a kind of like Orson Wells, who's so obsessed with detail that even when he was doing his

audio work, he would spend millions of dollars having the entire cast dressed in the relevant costumes. There was something about Cecil B. DeMel doing some kind of extravagant battle scene where he had all the members, the people who were dressed up as the British Army, they all had to have silk underwear or something like that. It wasn't seen, it was part of the realism of it. I want them to be real smooth out there. It'll come across. I think, I mean, look, who knows?

What was the thing that somebody was talking about? Walking, you know, they were doing a tour of some movie set or a TV show set, and in the bin, in the, on the set of this thing, there's like actual papers that these people would throw away, you know, as in like, that's the attention to detail that they would put into this. In the bin, like in the closed bin. Yeah, even in like, that's the attention to detail that they would put into this.

In the bin, like in the closed bin. Yeah, even in like, yeah, the bin, which you would never see inside of. Sure. They would waste time putting in. And let's be clear, that's what they are doing. It is absolutely wasting time and money. Putting things like that in the bin. I guess that's kind of a bit like the Sinek Doge New York kind of thing.

That Charlie Kaufman film. I love it. Philip Seymour Hoffman. It's in my top 10. Really? I should watch it again. Sinek Doki. Sinek Doki.

Sinek Doki. But is that white? Sinek Doge. What is that? It's Sinek douche. What is that? It's Sinek de Kee. But is that the place in New York? Or is that how that word is pronounced? That's how that word is pronounced.

Because there's also the name is kind of like a play on the name of an actual place in New York. Am I right about that? I mean, I'm 100% happy to accept that I'm pronouncing Cinnick Doge. A figure of speech in which a part is made to represent the whole or vice versa as in England lost by six wickets, meaning the English cricket team. Or like, you know, we had, we had 100 bombs on seats, as in to, to mean.

The bombs represent the people, it's not just bombs. That's right. But do you have a pronunciation for it there? Can you get the phone to tell us how it's pronounced? All right. Let me try. Because I want everyone to know how right you are. Sinectaki. Oh, that's beautiful. Sinectaki. Sinectaki.

Sinectaki. Sinectaki. Sinectaki. I'm thinking also about doing an Australian pronunciation YouTube. also about doing an Australian pronunciation YouTube. School, school, pool, veggie moot. I don't know. No, I mean, I think you're under something there. I think just the people doing things incorrectly. It's always a little bit funny. How are you even doing it correctly, incorrectly though?

Or are you just heartening it? I'm heightening it to the point of it being incorrect. Yes. So in a way, no. The wrong heart. Yeah. OK. I think we can do some things from a listener.

Can we? Can we not? No, I think we need one more. But wait, what was this Sinecta-Key idea? Wait, you were talking about this is like a Sinecta-Key, or what was the topic? Oh, we were talking about having unnecessary detail in a film set or something like that.

There's definitely a sketch to be had there, right? Yes, I think there's definitely a sketch. And I think there's definitely a sketch. And I think that where you take that to, because it's kind of like the method version, but for set dressing. Or for directors. Yeah.

Or for you. But the idea that you would, I mean, how do you make it not exactly what Sinek de Kee, New York is, but like that that the added, you would have things happening in the next room when the scene is ongoing. Or a director who is in character as a different director.

Like, could you direct a movie in character? Yeah, I'm directing it as if I'm Spielberg. Yeah, and you dress up as Spielberg. Yeah. And you have everyone call you Spielberg or the set of the film. Because he's a first time director, but he doesn't want people to feel like he's a first time director

because then they'll think that it's so I'm dressing up as, well, I'm trying to make it seem like this film is a collaboration between Spielberg and who's the guy who just recently did the Irish guy that... Scorsese. Scorsese. And so on some days I come out of Spielberg and other days I say, oh, Scorsese Day today. But he also is in personation of Spielberg's really quite hack-in some ways, like whenever

he's off camera he's always like talking about ET or something like that like just always really obvious. Well I was doing ET and Jurassic Park and the other one. Yes it does the data. Has it done the research? It's actually not worked very much on the film. A lot of people don't know is that the ET stands for extra terrestrial in that film I made. But a lot of people don't know. So, like, you know, four-year-olds who watch it. And actually, it comes up that it actually does, would end up being like...

But then they win an Oscar and they go up and accept it in character, Spielberg's there at the Oscars and has to accept the fact that their Oscar has been won by someone pretending to be them. Even though they didn't do it under Spielberg's name, they just, who knows, whatever. Yeah, well, no, I don't see why in the in the credits at the end, you know, because you have with

Christian bail as Batman. Why can't they have we're directed by Hamish McTavish as Steven Spillberg method director and button score Saisy and then when they do and button score Saisy It does that jumble of letters thing where Spielberg re-arranges to Spiel Martin Scorsese, like Dick Van Dyke's name did at the end when he of Mary Poppins when he'd also played the old, the very old man. Which by the way is one of my favorite performances of anything ever. And it terrified me as a child.

I found it so unpleasant and confronting and then rewatching it as an adult, I'm like, no, actually this is the best thing. That was really good. Yeah. It's really fun. He's just turned it up so high and it works. He's quite the performer. He is.

Yeah. And he would. I love him. He's like, who's that other guy? You were just mentioning before. He doesn't settle for second best. He wanted people to speak, you know, like they would speak in England. In his character.

He refused to not speak exactly like he's speaking in English. He did always research. I mean, his is the sort of, it's, if he wasn't white, and even if he wasn't white, it's like it's the Mickey Roney sort of performance there that I actually encountered. Oh, I'm sure. Rooney sort of performance there that I've actually encountered thing but with with with coqnies. With coqnies. Yeah. Anyway, we have three words from a Patreon supporter Andy. And this is a very recent one. Like I said, I've kind of started going for, I, you know, apologize to long term Patreon supporters and your support means the most to us is the long term. But that's why we can also take it the most for granted. Well, I just want, you know, I also want people to get to be mentioned when they do,

get their thing, you know, so that they can become, you know, potentially that'll motivate them to become long-term supporters. Anyway, we have a relatively recent supporter here, Adrian Hernandez-Arysta. What a name. Adrian, how are you? AHA. Aha! We tracked you down. Thanks for everything.

No, Andy, Adrian has sent in three words. Do you want to try and guess what one of them is? Okay. The first one. What's guess what one of them is? Okay. The first one. What's the first one? Thomas. No. No, that's not it at all.

It's much too long. Links? Andy, you're trying too hard. Okay. It's home. It's home. Home. Of course it's home. Okay. Do you I told home. Yeah, of course, a tone

Okay, do you want to try and get guess what the second one is noodles? I Think you're closer this time, okay, okay, but You're still unbelievably incorrect. It's heart home heart. Yeah so now With this information do you Do you want to try the third one? Well, home is where the heart is, right? I'm thinking maybe Adrian is thinking he got along those lines.

Home, heart, depot? I'm not even sure you got a single letter correct. Okay. Well, you got one letter correct, two. Okay, well, I didn't get a single letter correct then. You're right. It's cardiologist. Home heart cardiologist.

This is so good, right? This is going to the bunnings of organs, right? It's a future in which we, there's the technology at home to do whatever kind of surgery you wanna do to your body, to modify, you know, a thing that we love on this podcast, we've talked about it already today at home.

And you are going down to a huge, like a home depot style warehouse, where there are shelves and shelves and aisles and aisles, just of loose organs, right? They're all just there, they're fleshy and they're bloody on the shelf. Trying to know, seeing if they're like measuring the, you know, the diameter of the, the, yeah, or whatever. Just see, go, I was just gonna fit me, I don't know.

Right, and you get, you got, you're pushing your troll around with the kids and plunging your arm into a bag of mixed valves. I love the idea that also, it's, you know, like those machines that they now use to do surgery. You know, and they kind of, you hold onto the things and it kind of does the little micro movements and stuff like that.

It's that we have those at home. Yes. But they're kind of like a Tesla and that they're kind of self-driving. Or a drone that stays in the air, even if you're not very good at flying it. Yeah, but you, and so it can do the cardiology for you. But it still needs you there to stop it if it starts doing something very wrong.

Not that you know if it was, by the way. I'm sure there'd be a video to give you an idea of what it should look like and then you're kind of there. But you know, most people are just watching DVDs while it's happening and just hoping that the technology is in place. Yes. This is already, it's kind of like the thermomix of surgery. Of surgery.

It'll, it does it all. By the way, I have absolutely no idea how the thermomix works. And to me, it seems like magic. Like what I picture, I've never seen one in action. I've never eaten any food made by one. But what I picture in my mind is that like you just put like loose vegetables in there and then somehow it chops them up and cooks them and then puts them in the right place in the meal and then you take out basically a full place.

A full with three different sections? Exactly. Yeah. And if it's anything less than that, I'm going to be bitterly disappointed and maybe kill myself. Well, you heard it here. I don't find that. I heard here Andy cares a lot about, um, well I like to believe.

You know, this was just sort of while we were initially conceiving of this one, what about just the idea of like door to door surgery salesman? Like a, like a, or door to door salesman, a surgeon. A door to door. A daughter door. It's a door that is also your daughter. Mm hmm. Okay, you got a door, you got a door, a surgeon. A daughter door. A daughter door. It's a door that is also your daughter. Mm-hmm.

Okay, you got a door, you got a door. Oh. You know, okay, you got a door, you got a door, right? And it's a way to dress up a door. Like you've got a door. Maybe it's even just like, it's a, it's a, it's a, Excuse me young lady, you're not going out tonight. But, but sometimes you, you, you, you, you, uh, you see in a movie that like one of the

teenage kids in a film has, is very rebellious. And the way that they express that is by like sticking a keypout sign to the front of their bedroom door. And then there's like a lot of other cool stuff and maybe cut out some magazines stuck to it. And that sort of thing. And this is just like basically a big sheet, a transparency that you just roll out

and it has all of that stuff in it. And you just sticks to any door in your house, and then you can pretend that that's your door to bedroom. I picture you dressing the door up exactly like a daughter. Right. So it's wearing shorts and a hat. And sort of like a gingham scar for when it's neck. It has a neck, six. Yeah.

It's a rectangle. Your daughter is rectangle. I mean, you're giving, you know, you're giving it sort of, you know, roughly human proportions or you sort of guessing, you know, roughly human proportions, or you sort of guessing, you know, around sort of the three quarter mark up, that's where you assume the door's neck would be and you're tying them. Like the human's neck is three quarters of the way up the body.

I think it's roughly three quarters of the way up. I don't know. Is that, no, is that would have any more nipples? I think that would be very close to the nipples. Shoulders, these shoulders are probably three quarters up. Um, I think that would be close to the nipples. Shoulders? These shoulders are probably three quarters up. I think we can... I'm sure there's a rule like Leonardo invented, the eventually invented when he invented the human body.

Well, we 45 centimeters, for me, 45 centimeters down from the top of my head, right? So probably around where my nipples are. Andy, your neck is longer than that. I'm just joking. Anyway. But also, but also the idea, you know, that kingdom thing means that you could, you got a door, you got a farmer's daughter. You know, that's your farmer's daughter. I can't even protect it.

And then you can, but stay away from my daughter. Sure, you can stay here. But then it's a door. Yeah, but it's a door. I don't know if the people who are, I guess then you could have just, you're close the barn door and you dress that up as sort of, sort of drovers or people who are kind of

coming to work on your father. Yeah, okay. And you close the door and you put a big lock on it and you go, now, I'll come and see you in the morning like that. And then the door winds up up against your daughter's door. Here's another thing I realized yesterday. Now I'm standing. Did you know that heart and earth are almost the same word? And that if you wrote earth, earth, earth, earth, earth, earth, earth Earth Earth over and over again. You would see within that the word heart written a lot and I think that there's possibly

maybe a t-shirt in this. Yes. Just print the word Earth over and over again. All over a t-shirt and then people reading it without some people see heart, some people see earth but for you they're the same thing Beautiful home is where the heart is and earth is earth is home earth is where the hardest hmm Anyway, but why would you say home? Because earth is our home. I'm just trying to link it to that

But if you wrote the word home over and over and over again, yeah, wouldn't people would be like Meho. Oh, it also says me. Oh Yeah, I'll just take us through the sketch as I think okay. That's really good though. Um, okay So we've got you using sexual pleasure to motivate people to do long-term Satisfying things so that can either be government forced or willingly. And those are the two ways. So it could be Andy's fascist idea where the government puts like a chastity belt on

you that makes you come after you do a month's worth of charity work. Correct. Or you could have my idea what you put on. And then it also allows you to have sexual pleasure, you know, say, it helps, it edges you while you're practicing your guitar, and then when you're done, it gives you a full. We were talking about horses' birthdays before we came here today, and how all horses have the same birthday, right?

What if, in my, I'm heightening my fascism, it's still more more there's just one day of the year where everyone gets all their orgasms So all the orgasms that you've earned over the previous year everyone in the world is all-gasping On that day and it's kind of like the new Christmas. It should be like a public holiday Yeah, it would be it would be it would be a pubic holiday. Yeah It would be one of those ones where people you know, there's no shops that actually stay open Yeah, cuz there be one of those ones where people, you know, there's no shops that actually stay open. Yeah. Because there are still people who were like, but then again, maybe those people were capitalists

and they didn't do any good deeds during the year. Correct. So anyway, I think that would be fun. Then there's paranemias. What are you doing for calm dye? Then there's perinemias. Oh, but we get together with the family. Just then there's perineemius. Oh, but we get together with the family.

Just then there's Paranemius, the Greek God who stole the Gooch from the gods. He wasn't a god, he was an ancient Greek hero. Ancient Greek. Ancient Greek hero. He merged the Gooch. He's a Gooch Mooch. And then he also split the cloaca. I mean, that could be somebody else, maybe. Who split the cloaca?

Because I mean, I guess not maybe. He would have put the gooch from the gods into his own pelvis, kind of area, and then that's what would have split the genitals. Yeah. Yeah. It would have been so magical. And then we got the sleepy, sleeping sandwich bed for patterned skin. Mm.

You know, it's a great idea. And then we got prison toilet sex slash telesex operator for all time, long distance sex. This is for the erotic sketch show, possibly sex fuck Melbourne. Would you listen to sex fuck Melbourne? Let us know. Yeah, I think, you know, we could do the prison thing as an episode about Pentridge Prison and about the history of,

great. Yeah, it would chuck in a rope down a toilet, tying one into their penis, tying one into somebody else's penis. People think they're just yank you by each other's dicks. Yeah, and people think that, you know, people think that prison sex is all about,

you know, anal sex in the showers, but there was so much, it's so much richer than that sexual culture. Then we got Home Depot and Home Self-Driving Surgery Machines. So this is home depot organs. Mm. And home depot self-driving surgery machines that allow you to do surgery at home.

It's completely revolutionized the medical industry. And putting everyone out of business. I mean, it feels like that's a power in your hands. That's kind of, it would definitely emerge in America where medical stuff is so expensive. Oh my god, you're so right. Yeah. You know, where you're like, oh, heart attacks and cost $50,000.

Well, for $40,000, you could get a thing that would fix any. Yeah. And then I can have as many heart attacks as I want. Hopefully. Heart attacks and I'll even issue anymore. I can afford to have heaps. You could have, you know, you could be growing your own pigs in your backyard to see... Obviously, you're organ.

Yeah, harvest the organs. And eat bacon. Like I mentioned that, you've got a new heart and you're eating bacon at the same time. Things that people would consider contradictory in the modern day. Indeed, indeed. It is amazing, isn't it, that pigs, the very things that give us heart attacks, are gonna eventually grow the organs that will save us from those heart attacks. Thank you, pigs.

Well still, thank you, pigs. I mean, we'll still get the heart attacks from the pigs. Yeah. But then we get a new heart out of that pig. Get a new heart out. Yeah, new heart out. I mean, why not just have two hearts, like that lion heart guy. I don't know that guy, but I do know that Dr. Who has two hearts.

There you go. And then you got a door, you got a daughter. I don't know, just like that idea a lot. Door to door. Door to door. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- sex positive feminist that I once knew you to be any. But thank you very much for listening. We enjoy having you as listeners in a great many.

Oh my gosh, so much. So much. It's so deeply satisfying in a long-term way that I don't even need to place some kind of, orgasm-based thing onto the tip of my genitals to keep me doing it. You can find us on Twitter and to Intank. I'm at Alistair TV.

And I'm at Stupid on the Any. I'm just thinking now about a product called Dorgasm, which is that you got a door, you got an orgasm. And somehow you use a door as a... I just think a door can be anything. If a door can be a you use a door as a... Sure. I just think a door can be anything. If a door can be a gym, a door can be anything these days. Yeah, we're also on Instagram now at Two in Tank.

We're just starting to grow. We're starting to try to use it. Yeah. Because we're also going to be doing our comedy festival show next year, Teleport. And we thought we would start expanding our capability, our empire into Instagram. I think that's hot now. Yes.

I think Instagram's gonna be big. The idea of getting into Instagram like 13 years after it was launched. Not just the idea, Alistair, that's exactly what we're doing. Yeah. And then we love you very much. You can review us and you can support us on Patreon. It helps us in a great way.

Great many ways. It's helping pay for our comedy festival registration. Yes. And all the money goes into us creating more content. It will. We guarantee it. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.

Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available

to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu.