Two In The Think Tank - 217 - "OVERLY FAMILIAR"

Episode Date: January 14, 2020

Penal Servitude, Speculative Biography, The Biggest Malpractice, Skunkless, Old Wolves Tale, Overly Familiiarise, HomonymphomaniacThe Stupid Old Studios FIRE BAD Comedy Gala is SOLD OUT but you can still donate here and all the money goes to Red Cross fire relief.Hey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereGrain-fed thanks to George for producing this episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, divid, I'll make it some really interesting choices up top and sticking to them which is the most important part Yeah, and I'm liking it too Elastair tragic though would be yeah to have your penis chopped off in an accident sure and fed to your parents Yes, yes exactly as an accident as an accident Yeah, and you're allowed to enjoy an accident of course well if it fell let's say it was chopped off You were on the roof doing some sewing yeah, this is already way too realistic I'm a chopped up on the roof doing your balancing sort of a bit

See it all flying out and then accidentally it's a hand. It's one bit, you know. I can see it all flying out. And then, accidentally, it's a hand, it's one of those hand, you know, like circular saw. Oh, yeah. Which I do use. Yeah. And chubbop. Willy, very much nilly in this case. Well, there'll be more nil than Will.

And then so, and that's barbecuing in the back yard. Oh, so I was picturing your mom was grinding up some meat. In the back yard. Well, inside. And so it bounces,. Well, inside. And so it bounces, falls down, obviously. Throw an open window. Whoa!

Like that. And it bounces down off the ladder and then in through the window. Okay. Into the meat grinder. Sure. But, Alistair, I want to see how you are getting from the situation where my mom is grinding up

presumably raw uncooked meat. Yes. Now, that has to get into my parentsooked meat. Yes. Now, that has to get into my parents digestive system before they've somehow become aware of the fact that their son has lost his penis on the roof. That's lunch. Or they could be aware, but they're not gonna let that put them off having this nice, fresh, ground meat, general meat meal.

And not gonna ask any questions about the location of my severed penis. fresh ground meat, general meat meal. And not gonna ask any questions about the location of my seven penis. So they're making meatballs? Yeah, okay, ironically. For your beautiful children. Oh, okay. Okay, and they're already quite grumpy.

You're actually, you're selling this to be quite well by complimenting my children. Yeah. But it sounds like my children my children to get to eat my seven penis because my parents are gonna Remember remember this is gonna be my parents. No, I said anything about my children to eat it So I'm watching for twisted As well as. Oh, you know what? You're right. It doesn't have to be solely and totally consumed

by love and death. It would be beautiful if it was just consumed by your sons, which I think. Oh. But I think that what happens is your, everybody looks outside and you know what happens when you drop something and it always finds that one position where you just can't find it

It goes it goes under like it just goes under something that you would never look at it always seems to bounce much further Mm-hmm, then science, you know Then you're understanding of the physical laws of the universe could could allow scientists can't explain how far the thing you just dropped has bounced um and Scientists can't explain how far the thing you just dropped. Has bounced. Has bounced. And that's why I don't trust them on climate change. So then they're looking and so meanwhile your mom's still grinding. She's grinding.

She can't be stopped. She's a fiend for it. Yeah, she's grinding pork. Yeah. And she's grinding beef because she knows that that's a fiend for it. Yeah, she's grinding pork, and she's grinding beef because she knows that that's how you make good meatballs. You gotta add a little bit of that pork. Really? Yeah, well.

And it's that white meat there that really makes your penis disappear. That masks. Yeah. Right? You know, any of the pinks and purples that might be on the outer surface? There are no purples on the outer surface service this idea of penis is somehow being purple. I don't know. I don't know

I don't know myself very confronting. Yeah, anyway But then turns out that your beloved wife is very concerned about you and so she wants to go with you And to the hospital, but she decides actually it would be good just in case this is your last moment. Yes. To take the boys with her. And so your mom who's been grinding. Yes. And your dad who's been in the backyard furiously searching and giving you a hard time for cutting off your penis. Yes, and sort of, meanwhile, the entire subtext of this situation is that now both my parents know that my penis is quite small and difficult to find. Well, it's not like that.

Just adding into the general melange of distress. Andy, experience. Well, if you're letting that play in and you think that they don't already know. They know. Yeah, I mean, I think I think they know they've seen the source material. They saw the early years as well. They were there for a lot of the main years. And so then once they've gone and they're taking a break, I'm searching for it in the backyard.

Your mom decides, well, let's just cook up a little meal. Let's get up our energy. Yeah. And we'll do more, or we'll do more searching at first light. Yeah. And so I have a bottle of wine. Oh, okay. And some meatballs.

And then you know what, instead of they go, you know what, I'm feeling pretty confident now, let's get some head torches and then they go out in the dark. Yeah. And they search before any kind of, you know, nearby rodents might get them. I assume your house has rodents. It, I assume it does as well. Yeah, we've seen evidence of rodents.

I know exactly where they would be looking as well. I'm picturing a real, quite specific location around my house. And I'm picturing, I know the specific window of the kitchen that it would have bounced through as well. Do you know the exact saw you would have cut off the kitchen? No, the exact way you were holding the wood in order for that to be possible? Absolutely. But I told you I had never cut off my finger though, still I've got off my finger.

Well, my whole point when I started this, by the way, is idea that a sketch. I don't know, Andy. Yeah. That could be a scene in your, a sort of a biography of your life, I suppose. Oh, speculative biography. I don't see why I can't,

why I have to live all the things before I can write the biography. Well, I mean, you know, someone who's very successful very early on, like a Justin Bieber, they should be able to, so that they can people, you know, because in case he doesn't, he loses his fame or goes out of flavor, you know, in his later life, they should capitalize on making a biopic while he's young, on his entire life. And posthumous biopics are all very well,

but what about a pre-hummas? Pre-hummas. Pre-hummas, a chickpea. Yeah, chickpea biography. So look, it's given us the idea of speculative. Yeah, okay, a pre-biography, absolutely. And, you know, it'll probably be a lot more interesting, let's be honest.

Well, think about it, because I mean, he'll, you know, he'll have three marriages in this. And, you know, in the movie, they won't allow him to die of a drug overdose. You know, they can paint it the way that they want it to paint it. Yes. You know, it's like a portrait, paint it. It's like a portrait.

It's an alternative future. Well, it's not alternative. It's the only future at the moment. So you're right. It's a definitive future. It's a definitive future until the alternative arrives. Uh-huh. Which very often happens.

That's right. Anyway, my point was going to be was that, you know, tragic though it would be to have your penis severed. It's probably the thing that would affect my life the least. You know, if I were to pick a body part that had to be chopped off, like, practical sense, I could pretty much carry on. Because you don't go to the bathroom?

Well, but I mean, I don't think having my penis chopped off is going to sort of really impair that anywhere, maybe I can sit down or whatever. What if you can't hold in urine anymore? I don't think you hold in urine with the penis. No, you don't think so? No. So, but I just don't feel any other part that clenches way back there.

The clenches back there? Is real far back? Yeah, that's what you think that there's like a tap right at the end. For me, the pee goes right to the tip, and then I just close the mouth of the tip. And I tighten those lips. If you had a little sphincter there, and if we looked closely, we could see it. Just clivering. Clivering, trying to hold, hold. I think when you go to... No! Right.

That's like in a war. Yeah, and then because that's because your end of your penis is opened. It's opened up, yeah. And barbarians have got into the city or something like that. Yeah, and then I give them a good spring. Mm-hmm. Okay. And for me, in this scenario, I'm a skunk. Mm-hmm. And this fincter that I'm wholly used to, my smell.

Smelt, smell, smell, smell, smell, You ever smell skunk? I know the smell of skunk, yeah. How do you know this? Well, why? Why? I mean, we studied it in school. Have you smelled skunk?

Yes. Right, OK, that's all I needed. Yeah. Have you smelled, like, how? Just from smelling a weird smell and then somebody going that skunk. Oh okay. So I could be wrong. Yeah, I could have just been somebody trying to cover for their weird smell. Yeah, but it's like, it's like, it's, you know, it happens in a weird... That's not actually one of my opening lines in any conversation. I just open with that skunk. Just in case anybody has smelt me and things that's weird.

Would you use that instead of like an airport security when you're getting padded down? Yeah, I would. Yeah, it's good to have your lines ready for that kind of scenario. Well, that one, because also skunk is also a British word for a very strong hydroponic marijuana. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. Thatonic marijuana. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. That's the other line you use. Yeah. What I'm in airport, I say that's good. When they're patting me down.

Yeah. Oh yeah, so yeah, I can see how, yeah, I could, you know, I could imagine also having my penis cut off and that it having not a huge impact on my life. Yeah. Because it like out outwardly, you know, nobody knows, nobody has to know. That's right, because everybody just assumes that we're wearing spanks at all times, keeping it in. Well, I mean, I don't think, I don't think, the penal bulge is really that visible in most standard pants

scenarios. I think we're just not looking. Yeah, you think it's, it's, it's, I think there's like definitely some, some of it there. Yeah. And I reckon, I reckon maybe for some people. And maybe, I think it, maybe it plays, I think it plays a bigger part in holding up the pants. Can I just suggest that this become a pro small penis podcast.

I'm happy. Great. I'm very supportive of supporting the small penis. People. I mean, look, I feel like, you know, I've psychologically been with them a lot of my life. Sure. I'm not sure. I don't know.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows for sure. Nobody knows for sure. There should be a day close to the end of time when we all do get them out and all have a look and we all know finally. What's going on? All of society. All of society, like close to the rapture. I think in the rapture, everybody does go up to having a new clothes that are left behind, right? That standard rapture scenario. Maybe, yeah. I mean, feels like being nude is a bad thing

not to the Christians. Yeah, but I think once you're in God's light, or whatever, the knowledge of good and even all that kind of probably bouncing. They have a robe up there for you. Maybe there's a robe, maybe you change into a robe, but I feel like once you're ascending and leaving your mortal form behind,

is that one of the first little treats that you get from God is to get to have a little look and just see sort of what everybody's got. Yeah, and that's part of shedding your shame. Exactly. Assuming that the news is good. Assuming. Oh, yes.

Shedding your shame. Or adding several layers of shame. But maybe it's so much shame that you become numb to shame. Overload your shame receptors. Yeah, and they shut down. This must have happened to some people. I feel like this has happened to some people on the internet and kind of thing, you know.

Yeah, I think you can, you know, if you get attacked by enough people, some people turn into a quite a more shameless version of themselves as sort of the only way to get through that. Like a Mark Latham. Yeah, through that. Like a Mark Latham. Yeah, I'm picturing exactly Mark Latham. I'm picturing the guy from Coney 2012. Right.

Slap in the concrete and his underpants. I wonder if he was post-shame, if he'd somehow, if that's what it's like. Yeah, I mean, I think you never stable, 100% stable again, but he's free from shame. At least until the manic episode ends. Yeah. I was temporarily free from shame.

Now, is there any sketching that we only have one sketch so far? Let's see, what are we talking about? Well, it's a spelling skunk. Much like the, you know, like, when they're trying to... I do want to know about that. Like, is there a sketch in the, in the, in the pee, going all the way up to the end of the, the, the penis? And they're stuck.

Well, I like... It's right there. It's right there. It's like, it's like, um... You know, like a, you know, like a tube, absolutely, chocolate block full of billiard balls. Yeah, billiard balls. I don't know why that's my example. Yeah, it could be liquid as well. Yeah, liquid is probably a better, a better metaphor for the liquid that we're talking about. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I just don't know exactly what the sketch is, but I'm happy if ever it comes to mind.

Yeah, sure. But something I did think of while we were talking momentarily, moments ago was this idea of cutting off body parts that you don't need. Now, when they were, when they've been trying to synthesize life from non-living things, what they do is they go into very small simple bacteria and they destroy it. Like the bits of DNA? Yeah, the destroy little bits like that. And then they zoom out and they go, oh, if that wasn't crucial, because that thing didn't die. Well, we could do that with humans. If you wanted to synthesize a human

from non-living things, you could just take a human, cut away all of these things until something is like, you realize something is crucial, so then you go, oh, I went too far. Like that, and then- We went too far, we admitted.

We admitted he died, like that. But, we learned something. There might be opportunities to put things back in. Oh yeah, yeah, just quickly before they are fully dead. Yeah, they go, boom, you're, put the heart back in with that, and so maybe- This is quite good, this is kind of like an improviser, surgeon, right?

Because you think about your your Dr. Brown's you know, you golly a school of performance planning, right? You you what you're doing there is you're performing for the audience and you're just sort of responding to what the audience is giving you back, right? So if you if the audience is is laughing, you give them a little bit more of what you were just doing. If they're not laughing, you change or you're banned in that idea. Right? But what if you're a surgeon, right? And you go into somebody and you're just sort of, you're watching, you've got one eye on the heartbeat and you're just cutting

stuff away. Right? And then when it starts to flatline a little bit, you put that bit back in, you start chopping somewhere else. You know, it's in pro. It's it's working with the body, the responses of the body. It's much more natural and you don't have to go in there with any specific plan or even some idea of what the whole point was. You'll learn that the body will teach you what it's about. I mean, it certainly works for one of those weight-loss competitions. Yes. Or a way in for boxing. The way in for boxing. Yes. So you start getting rid of all the things that the boxer doesn't need. Yes. The penis. The penis will start with the penis. Great. Take away all that knee skin. Turns out that's actually holding you back.

You know? I think this is good. I think I think a weight loss program, whether everybody starts with a person of the same weight and the real competitors here are the surgeons, right? And at the end, all they've got to present at the final weigh-in is a living organism. Living conscious organism? A conscious organism.

Yeah. An organism that is capable of expressing how it feels about what's just happened. Or a thing that can say, yes. Yeah, we did it. Give a high five. Yeah. That's all it needs It's a weight loss competition. Yes, but it's surgeons losing weight on people

Taking out cutting off the unnecessary stuff and I think this is good because this is probably where we're headed because there's Those becoming more crowded and if we can make people smaller Right to fit more people in sort of like that movie downsizing with Matt Damon, that I think everybody thought was possibly gonna be really good and then was a bit mediocre, probably, really. Well, we haven't watched it. We haven't watched it. So they can't be that good. But no, I'm exactly, I'm sensing from the, the zite,

guist. I think guist is German- This is a much more realistic, yeah it is, the spirit of the times. I think side geisters. Thank you. I found out that I'm 1850 is one of my ancestors left Germany. It's part German. Yeah right.

1850, do you know why? I have no idea. Still, still we know a date and that's something. I think peach people. That's why I come down from peach people. Yeah, really? Peachy. Yeah, peach growers.

Peach coblives. Mmm. Yeah, they're gonna make shoes that are peaches. But what about this about a skunk? That was it, right? Yeah, me. Children's book, right? The skunk, who never stunk, right? Oh. Okay, and it's like the ugly duckling, but it's a skunk who doesn't smell bad. Great. So it's a... Oh, and it's ostracized by all the other skunks. For smelling good.

For smelling good. But it's actually... And all the other animals are terrified of it. But they love it's aroma. Except for one little kid who doesn't know what it is. And... It brings it into the house. And then the family's like...

The family's all... Yeah, yeah, right. But then it sprays them. I don't know, maybe then one day there's like a really bad smell in the house. And it sprays that smell. It's smell. And then they're like, oh my God, it saved us

from that rotting carcass fish. That fish. No, we don't have to clean up any of this rotting fish. But then as a result of not having to clean up the mess, the family do all die from salmonella poisoning. Yeah, airborne salmonella. And the skunk eats their bodies. Yeah, and that actually changes. And it's eating all that human meat, which I don't think skunks eat a lot of meat. It changes the scent of its

smell sack. And then it gets reaccepted back into the society. And so it's a really happy story. I think I could write this as a beautiful little rhyming story. It starts out real, quite hopeful, gets real grim in the middle, and then ends up quite nice again with the skunk back with its family. Yeah, well I think there could be quite, like, you know, when you first meet the family, turns out that there's actually,

you can see sort of early signs of maybe these are hoarders. And then once the fish kind of comes in, then once they accept the skunkunk then you can really reveal that actually They're terrible hoarders and they're never gonna clean that fish up and I think when this book is sold in super in supermarkets. Yeah, you go on straight for the Mass market. Yeah, I am because I'm no fool right those those They'll it'll only be two or three pages

where the real bad stuff happens. And they'll all just be very, very lightly glued together with some sort of glue that wears out as the pages are turned, right? So parents will flip through the book and be like, oh, this is a nice story. It's gonna go to the liver of the family, then goes back to it's own family and gets accepted.

And then, you know, the kids will read it a few times, then they'll go back on the shelf and they won't pay you attention to it. And then like six years later, this glue will have degraded. Someone will flip through the book and see all these pages that have been there the whole time, they had no idea. And, you know, something will happen. Yeah, that's a great idea, Andy. Fuck.

Fuck. I really thought I was going to think of something good for the end of that bit of talking. No, no, no, no. I think, well, and I think you did, Andy, you found something really good. Was it shouting, fuck? It disappointed myself. You know, who knows, Andy? It's like, it's hard to, once you start talking and you're like yep now I'm gonna do this I'm taking this you're like you're giving a sign to the other person you're going don't worry. Yeah I'm taking I'm taking

this one all the way. Sometimes I'll even talk over you to make sure that you don't get in one of your idea might have been that might have helped me. I have a full magazine and I am shooting the whole thing out because this is gonna be completed. Is that worth writing down? I mean the good smelling skunk. Skunk, the skunk. I think Great words skunk. Great word. But then, but then at the end he stinks.

Yeah, but maybe it's like who never stunk before up until this point brackets and brackets and up until very close to the end. Up until close to the end. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Should we should we mention the Squizz and Gizz? Should we talk about just before the podcast? I was saying that the word Squizz sounds more like what Gizz is supposed to be than Gizz even does. If you were to be given the two words, if you didn't know either the word, squeeze or giz, right? And you were given both of those words, sight unseen and asked to guess which word

out of the giz or squeeze was gonna be a word for a jacket. You would absolutely pick squeeze. So I think this would be great for, you know, we need to get some bilingual YouTubers. Yes. Yeah, who live, say Indonesia, Bahrain. Yeah.

I'm thinking Estonia. Yeah, great. All great countries. Places where, you know, there's not a lot of English, right? But this person speaks English and the local dialect of whatever they speak. Estonian, the Hausa Indonesia, whatever that might be. Great. And then you tell them to approach Vox Pop style, people who don't speak English and ask them between these two words, which one do you think means ejaculate? Yes. Yes. Great. Each one is going to go no doubt

squizz, like that. Because you squeeze it out. But I mean, you do squeeze it. It's like toothpaste, right? Yeah, because it's right up there at the end of the chew. Oh, right. The end of the two. You don't decide. It's like Tetris. It's just, it's like Tetris. You don't, you don't get decide what comes out. You just have to squeeze it out yourself. You let it out and then you go, oh, that was a, that was a toilet one, sorry. Oh, this is an unpleasant episode of the podcast. I definitely started the energy though. So I'll, I'll accept any of that. Yeah, you'll start about... I'll end the energy.

But I think the... I think as a language, English, I do want to get an outside as a year on what our words are like, right? Because you're indoctrinated, I think, a lot of the time. As a child, you're introduced to language very often Because that's when you learn it for a lot of people. It's when they're a child childhood. Yeah, except for those ones who've End up being raised by wolves. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. End up being raised by wolves. Yeah You think I mean turns out wolves great at looking after children. What do they like with the elderly? Could we get them?

You know, well the elderly? Could we get them? You know working the elderly very very lonely a lot of the elderly very old They should call them the older Lee They allos there They absolutely should Fuck Oh, fuck. So, are we saying so? We've had a lot of experience. We've been trying to get daycares and old folks homes together. But who's even better with young people than old people,

or then even people, wolves. Willing to take children who aren't there on and raise them. We assume. We assume. There's at least one story. Certainly willing to take them. And that's the first step, isn't it?

And why not try it with wolves and old people? I do know that wolves, I do know, when I say I do know, I might be getting this from the movie, the Jungle Book. But wolves do take care of their old wolves, bring them food and stuff like that. And if you're like a senior wolf and you get injured, the rest of the pack sort of looks after you, presumably for a bit until you become something kind of a burn. And I guess they eat you. But they do, they do look after, look after there.

I mean, could we dress up an old person as a wolf? Yes. Right. I mean, it's been proven. So you think instead of putting the wolves into the old folks home, you think we should put the old folks into the wolf sort of den. I'm just saying look into it. Yeah. Okay. While we tried, we tried various ways. Yeah. Sure. We think that the old, and then the wolf inside the old folks home will work best,

but we're not, we're not ruling out. No, what is it? We're willing to accept that the wolf inside the old folks home will work best, but we're not ruling out. We're willing to accept that the wolf inside the old folks home didn't work. But why not put the old folks in the wolves natural habitat of which they're very protective? Yeah, and to do that, I think we'd rest them up. We'd get the skin of a dead wolf or something like that. Wrap that around. Maybe the ones that were in the old folks' home world. Sure, that we had to put down because of all the people that were attacking. Yeah, yeah. So there's got to be some permutation of this that will work.

But I guess you'd probably have to maybe raise the wolves in the old folks home. I mean, how long has it taken to alert there are vicious dangerous pack of wolves? So this is it probably three, four years. For coming rather than, you know, old people's home for five-year-olds, right? Old folks home for five-year-olds. That was a show that was on Australian TV a couple of months ago, very, very popular, very heartwarming. They combined an old people's home with a sort of a childcare situation and they all both enriched each other's lives enormously, at least when the cameras were on.

Right. But we're suggesting old folks home for baby wolves. That's right. Yeah. And then eventually old wolves. Old adult wolves. I don't see why not. Why don't you be raised in that scenario? But then, you know, but then is it funny? I think I think it's I think it's a funny concept, Alice. Yeah. I think it is absolutely a funny. If you just if you simplify it down to the idea that wolves can be nurturing to humans, then we put wolves in the old folks home. I think that's great. And they're nurturing to their own old people.

Yes. That's all the elements you need for this setup. But it's in the execution that you've got to find more stuff. Sure. But we don't have to find that now, right? Because we don't famously don't do the execution on this podcast. There will one day be one execution on this podcast.

We will call it the execution. The execution episode. And we'll, and we'll call it that. The episode will be called the execution. And we won't let you know whether or not we actually do before one of the sketches or kill one of the members of the podcast execution style or a guest or a guest. Oh that'd be great. But a guest is a gift from God and who's that guest going to be? What if it could be God? Mr. Sunday movies.

gonna be. What if it could be God? Mr. Sunday movies. So we heard that we heard that, you know, this is Claire calling us up. We heard that you were saying on your podcast that you're going to kill my husband live on your podcast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but also no, he's going to no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, least maim somebody. Exactly. The execution of the maiming incident. Well chop somebody's dick off. Oh my god. But I mean it'd be cool we could get somebody's strap on and then we could use a circular saw and saw it off. I mean you know how this is the 200th episode

we carved ourselves some cheese gobbled. Yes. Or couldn't we saw off some of these penis and then grind it up and make meatballs. We'll make a cheese penis. We'll make someone a cheese penis. A cheese strapped up. Cut it off. And we'll cut it off with a circular saw. Oh.

And then make cheese balls. This is a really interesting, emerging element of the podcast, which is that once every hundred episodes we carve something out of cheese. Like we got no other gimmicks, right? We don't even really have that many running jokes, except for every hundred episodes. You know who would like this gimmick? Ants. Ants and I'd love that

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Mycomputercareer.edu. I don't know if answer that into dairy. Meal thing they like cheese. I reckon it's something they probably can't digest. I don't know if they are that into dairy. You don't think they're like cheese? I reckon it's something they probably can't digest. I don't know if they digest. I think they just... They just love everything. They don't have the...

I don't know. I don't know if they can afford to not like... I want to know if ants can process lactose. Hmm. Right? Yeah, but I mean, they won't have that much of stuff in their body anyway. What do you mean? Right? Yeah, but I mean they won't have that much of stuff in their body anyway. What do you mean? Like, they're only taking a nibble.

So it can't be that bad. It's not that big of a deal. I think proportional to the size of their body, a nibble is a gulp. Yeah, no, I understand that. And I think if they can't process it, they can't process it, that's going to be just just as bad for them But not for us, but not being but not being on a process that can just mean it just goes through you Without that changing without you might not necessarily have an intolerance, right? It might just be like eating gravel or something like that. Yeah, where's just goes straight through you straight through you? No trouble you get a bit of gravel ria Tink tink tink tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink. I think ants actually, they have that like a fungus or something.

Don't they? A lot of them. Maybe not all of them. They have like, no, in their hives. So they actually take all those crumbs back, chuck them in a big pile with some kind of a fungus, right? The fungus dissolves the whatever it is, right? The stuff turns it into something that they can eat. They eat the fungus then, and then they go about the day. And so they've sort of outsourced their digestion of whatever it is to this, this fungi. I knew there was a fungi in maybe,

termites? Right. But maybe it is also ants. I mean, it feels like if you're a fungus and you're like, oh, you can get these ants to do shit for us. Well, I have also heard that, that like there's an interpretation of this relationship between the ant and the fungus.

And it's the fungus really whose sort of domesticated the ants basically to get them to go and bring it stuff. But imagine a few of the fungus you're just like, oh yeah. But you're just like, I'm just born and I don't know if they do anything and somehow food just appears. That is privilege, right? Fungus privilege. Check your privilege fungus. Fun privilege. Not understanding the food, the origins of the food, the work and stuff that goes into sustaining your life is a real. And you can just live in being under ground. And being under ground as well as another kind of privilege. Well, you don't need a lot.

You don't need to see, don't need to touch, don't need to smell. I mean, that's a benefit to living underground if you don't can't smell. And you can't get dust in your lungs. Yep. Yeah, that's all privilege. That's all privilege. Do you think maybe we're being run by fungus in some way?

Let's see. What if it's that mold that grows on the outside of B. What if all of human civilization is just built to enable that? We don't realize that because it is sort of a quite a decadent kind of food being able to eat this moldy cheese. All right, so it seems like it could be the product of a fairly advanced civilization. So all of our, everything we've got, we've got in basically essentially enables this fungus. And you couldn't say, you couldn't claim that like, you know, like some farmed animals, factory farmed animals like cows or whatever or pigs, that it's actually suffering

in any way because it doesn't have any of those senses that allow it to experience suffering. So really, it's only ever a positive thing for that fungus, right? There's no negative for it. But how's it running the show? How's it running the show? We just breed it, we just make more.

That's what it is? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, and it doesn't have to fight. And then we instead of having to eat like chips. Well, we bring it, we bring it, yeah. So, having to eat chips. But we bring it the milk and stuff that it needs to thrive. And so it has to sacrifice a bit of the fungus or whatever, but it is allowed to...

You find if everybody had to carry a little bit of burry with them. Like on their shoulder, it was allowed to watch what they're doing and keep an eye on them. I guess in a little way, this is kind of like my sci-fi story that I wrote for the last months. Where you just have a sort of familiar familiar, you know, a creature that's kind of with you, and then it eats everything. And then you eat it. In mine, it was a giant pancake, like a giant pancake with a face and a digestive system

that I guess could kind of process rock and in organic materials and so that. And so in that way, that's the fungus in the ant hill. Here's a sort of a slight difference. And the way, if you want to hear that story, sign up for $8 Patreon subscription. Sci-fi Try Guys, we do one a month and each of us writes a science fiction story and Alan Stereot wrote a very, very funny story for the last one. Very good.

So, but what about a version of this, right? Where are some kind of a future, right? Where there isn't, I mean, I'm basically gonna tell you your story but slightly more disgusting, right? So there isn't that much good food available, but what we have managed to do is genetically engineer a kind of a rabbit rat type creature, right? That can eat almost anything, and then we can eat it to poo.

Right. So everybody has one of these things and it is your familiar. And you, you know, it clings to your shoulders. Just a big ugly rabbit. Yeah. And you shove whatever food, maybe it's you know low quality food or something like that. It could even be high quality food. I don't know. I'm just shuddering in there. You know, I'm just shuddering in the supermarkets. There's just street vendors who sell hay and sell blocks of muck. Blocks of muck exactly that have been dredged out of the sewer or whatever. This thing's got a really robust digestive system.

You feed it that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Who are these people? This is like the story that was on an episode of Do Go On where they were doing an episode about this guy who ate everything. He was this French guy from about 200 years ago. And he was just always hungry and he could eat anything, apparently. And these doctors took him to a hospital and they were studying him and they're studying him, consisted of just giving him different things to eat, to see if he could eat them,

like rocks and light bulbs or whatever, you know, and he ate it all. But like, that is the extent of the, like, that's the research. This is where just giving him stuff and see if it happens. We're pouring bleach into the mouth of the rat and see if it loves it. It does love it.

It's science progresses. New knowledge, new information is added into the sum of human knowledge. Everybody's got a super rat. Everybody's got a super rat wrapped around the shoulders and we're here to shit. See it's a disgusting episode this one, isn't it? But I think that's a good, yeah, absolutely. Right?

It's a good sci-fi ideas. It feels, it feels actually quite plausible. Right? Like who used to say that we, it couldn't also like breathe in our toxic atmosphere and then fart out clean oxygen. No, and then you just like, so we breathe in the parts and then we eat it shit. You just hold it near your nose and you like, come on baby. Give me a breath of fresh air. But it's a oxygen, it's like it's pure oxygen fart or whatever.

Yeah, great. Well that's what we need to start engineering these things so that we can get all of what the ecosystem provides and get it into one creature that can eat sort of non-organic thing. You're right. It's a consolidated biosphere, isn't it? Because we're turning all the functions of all the trees that create oxygen, all the

beautiful rich biodiversity that provides food and stuff that we can eat. And we're turning that into just one ugly little rat thing that farts into our mouth. Great, I love it. I love it. One nose, one nose, sure. And again, this feels like not an impossible direction for things to go. This is going to happen before we colonize another planet. Absolutely.

Yeah, this is gonna be the reason we colonize another planet. But you know that like, I was thinking about this the other day of like, I reckon we might cling to this earth a little bit longer, because I think we will be good at ringing a bit more out of the resources than you've expressed. Of course. Everything is dying.

If everything dies, we're still in a better position now than if we were started again on a different planet where there's nothing. Yes, exactly. Including the atmosphere. But we really will run this planet down to absolutely nothing. Elon must save us. Yeah, he's got to, like, he's got to just change his direction slightly and go, all right, what, all right, you can make flame throwers,

you can make big rockets. But you gotta do the thing that is gonna stop, like, you're gonna stop everything being wrecked. I mean, Does he already talk about this on the podcast? There's Bezos. It's Bezos that's got to do it. He's got more money and he's got this distributed system all over the planet.

Well, Bezos is going to do it. And he's got, he's got, he's got things already called Amazon, right? Yeah. So why can't he replant the Amazon? Why can't he recreat the Amazon, or at least the Amazon that it was creating, even if it's gonna cost us a monthly fee? I wonder, I wonder if you could turn the environment

into a subscription service. I think this has got to be a thing. Turn the environment of subscription service. And everybody gets it. This is going to be the tricky part. Everybody's still going to get to enjoy the environment. I'm not going to exclude anybody from the environment. But you pay $10 a month. And we get to keep the environment. Maybe it could be a country subscription fee. Oh, that's good. Yeah. It's an opt-in.

Oh, and then. This is a great way to sell climate action. Yeah. I mean, it's just got to, something's going to happen. It's going to be, we got to be pulling carbon dioxide out of the, out of the atmosphere. Quick. Maybe you could make, then, then take the carbon

that's been pulled out and make boxes out of, for when you're sending your packages around. Like it into boxes. Yeah. Yes. I mean, we got to make the out of it for when you're sending your packages around. I get into boxes. Yeah. Yes. I mean, we got to make the box anyway. Cabin by box side. Yeah, and those are trees which were knocking down.

Yeah. Which those are stored carbon already. So now you're burnt, and then what are we doing with that cardboard? We're burning it, right? I know what I do. I know I have. You don't even have a fire. You're still burning it, somehow.

I'm still burning it. I got a backyard. I don't have a fire. What do you need to have a fire? The whole country is on fire, Andy. That's true. Yeah, do we, I don't think we come across as good people in this episode. No? No, but that's okay. That's okay. It's time that the

You know that the facade was dropped and we um Got to the bottom of the you know of subscription. Yeah What is like super-scription? What a good what what happens very good happens? I mean we're on the bottom What is like super-scription? What happens when you get on top of that description? Yeah, super-scription. What would that be? Because I mean, you're at the mercy of the description. You know, you're paying them to get what they got. Yeah, so I mean, would super-scription be a thing where companies pay you to watch their TV shows?

Be a pretty good deal. Yeah, pretty good deal. So, bees us should do to save the environment, pay us. So, but this would have to be... To keep us customers. But this would have to be a situation in which everybody is... And this could be interesting elsewhere. This could be where we're headed.

Life and the world becomes so bad that everybody wants to kill themselves, okay? And the only way that companies can keep any customers alive is by paying us, not to kill ourselves. Right, so they all have to chip in 100 bucks a month or something like that and then super subscription. Yeah, super subscription So he sends you a piece of ten bucks a week and sends you a super rat. Yeah

That you whose shit you can eat. Yeah, and you can watch a new Star Wars Cartoon it's comic Read it on book. Oh no. Yeah, on TV. Oh yeah! And is it animated? No. No.

What it could be? Yeah. We have somebody who reads it out loud to you like it's one of those kids shows where they read the story. It keeps pointing at the screen. Yeah. But they're on the screen as well. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah, they're the biggest screen. There's a bigger screen. Well, so you think that they're all the screen as well. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there's a bigger screen. There's a bigger Well, so you think that they're all because it's on a screen. I thought they were holding the book, but it's on your screen. I think it would be good to have a big screen. Right. So you're watching TV. Right. This is this would be really good. I said you're there watching TV. Right. And you know how when you turn off the TV, it's just that black screen. Yeah. Sometimes it's a bit reflective, and you can see yourself in the black mirror. The black mirror, indeed.

Right? What you need then, because sometimes you're alone, what you then need is another screen. Right? It sort of is as wide as your couch. Right? And fits across maybe just behind you,

or maybe it has a like a cutout that you slot into. And what it has there is a happy family gathered around you either side, right? So that when you catch your glips of yourself in that reflected in the screen when you turn off the TV at 2 a.m. after being lonely and watching the Mandalorian. You can see a happy family gathered around you, laughing, laughing. Just in the reflection of the... Just in the reflection. Yeah, and then you look around.

You look around yourself. No, you see that weird sort of side on view of a computer screen. You climb out of the hole. And then you feel good. Well, for just a moment, just a moment. That's all you need. Yes.

I just wanted to feel good one moment today. And watching the Mandalorian hadn't done it. Well, actually, I just started watching it. First three episodes, I like this is very exciting. I'm quite engaged. And then after that that I get quite bored Yeah quite bored at the moment. Oh, I did see Poll if Tom can tweet something about a guy and a sort of In a funny round hat the extra an extra in a photo. I saw an extra in a funny round hat

Kali and I both commented. Yeah, and they go look at a swagger on this guy. I think that's basically what I said. That's funny Oh, I thought I had that original thought what I say about the guy with the hat oh I said, that's funny. Oh, I thought I had that original thought. What did I say about that guy with a hat? Oh, I said, nice hat, fuck it. Ha ha ha. Classic TV version, lad. Ha ha ha ha. Is it interesting that we both, we both connected with that hat guy.

I am the equivalent comedian to Paul F. Tom Kies. Wow, that's really exciting. Yeah. We have to go to three words from a listener. We have to, but we also want to. Tom Kicks. Wow, that's really exciting. Yeah. Um, we have to go to three words from a listener. We have to, but we also want to. And want to. Andy, this one comes from quite a recent Patreon subscriber. Oh, I love that.

Kevin Albin. Hello, Kevin. Hello, Kevin Albin. Hmm. Uh, thank you for joining us. Kevin Albin. Kevin has sent us three words. Do you want to guess what they are? Yes. And in a way you're lucky here because in a way the three words are more than three words.

But not in a way that it makes them more difficult to guess in a way that it gives you less words to guess Well in a way it's a bigger target. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, right I have a higher chance because there's more than three words. I have a higher chance of getting one of the words So what the so what you're saying this three words good four words five words. No, no those three words But it's more than three words. Those words are more than three words So just have a guess. Okay, And see if you can place it.

Stallion. Stallion. Absolutely incorrect. No, do you want to try again? Limp. No. And what way is that more than one word? I don't know.

Okay, the first word is base or bass. Oh, I see. They're homo- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- hetero- homo nitaro, hetero nims. hetero nims. hetero nymphomaniacs. hetero nymphomaniacs. Alright. Do you want to guess the second word? um, soul? no no no no no no it's tear or tear

oh, okay and um, then I guess the last one last one must be cat? ha ha aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cat? No, Andy, it is lead or lead. Wow. Did you work out all by yourself that all of those are... Not Kevin pointed it out.

That'll give some flexibility to your three words. Oh, that's really nice. Some people try to fuck with us, but some people try to help us. I wonder if we would have worked that out. If you hadn't pointed that out, Kevin. I never would have. Now we'll never know, Kevin. We'll never know, Kevin. We'll never know, Kevin.

Base-bast, tear-tare, led lead. Mm. Yeah, all right well I guess what about this right what about a world in which suddenly Because okay, we're talking this is this is interesting Alistair, okay, right? Because you know how there's the world of the ideal right the platonic ideals of things and and all words Right, the platonic ideals of things, and all words refer not to specifics, but they refer back to a particular ideal version of something that lives in the realm of the ideal. And that's what gives words their meaning by referring back to those things,

that we are never able to perceive directly, but that do exist. And so what that implies is there's some sort of central database that keeps all the meaning of all the different words. But it feels like where hominins. Heteronyms? Heteronyms. Are they heteronyms? Look, I'll go back and check. The very much could be. Right? What that means. Heteronyms. Yeah, okay, cool. H hymns. What that means is that there's a

risk there that in the whatever vector points to the specific meaning in the database could become confused. It's like what happened with the Y2K bug, you know, how the year 2000 looks like the year 1900. So what I'm saying is that one day we could wake up and there could have been a glitch in the world

of the ideal, right? And all the heteronim swap places. So, every base turns into a bass, every tear turns into a tear, every cat, every lead turns into lead. Yeah, right? cat every cat lead turns into lead yeah right and and then we we we have to work out I mean this this could almost be an entry in in the what Jesus Christ what the fuck is going on game show where we describe a world and you have to

guess what's happening in the world well we have a scenario here in which a person is playing bass and there is a lead going from their bass to the amp and some of the front part of the amp, the material in the front part of it, has a tear in it. Yeah, and also they're crying because they're playing such beautiful bass. That's right. And they have petrols in a child. It is a song about their dead old. They have petrol in a can from about 1975, right, which contains lead.

Oh, okay. Right. And in a fish tank behind them. Yes. What a performance, by the way. What is this? You too? There is a school of bass. This is a person in their bedroom. They live alone. But then everything switches suddenly.

That's right. Suddenly there's a glitch in the hetero-nim verse. I think this could be maybe this would work well in a film clip by Spock Jones or something like that. He'd enjoy mucking around with some kind of visual trickery and I think this stuff happening. Michelle Gondry? That might be the one I'm thinking of. I think they have worked together. I never know anymore.

But they do, yeah, they did have... There was a period of time where they both did cool film clips with interesting ideas that involve filming things backwards and then playing them forwards. That trick. That old trick. That old trick. But still works and still looks good. Of course.

They've done well. But you know what I don't like when it's not done that well. Yeah, that's right. I like good execution. If I had to pick an execution, it would be either that or just a Sunday movies. Who we love. That's why it's going to be so hard. Exactly. Possibly. Yeah. Possibly be hard. Possibly be hard. So is that a sketch? That's a sketch. So is that a that's a sketch? That's a sketch. Uh, the...

A glitch in the world of the ideal, Alistair. In the database, the eternal untouchable database of meaning, somebody hacked into it. And all the... I can't remember what the name of the vectors, the pointers, you know, the pointer, specific bits of data, like in a, like in when stored in a memory bank. Yeah, well, no, it's a shame, maybe we'll never know. But what we do know is that I can take us through the list of words and of sketches. Well, what we have, Andy, we have a list.

What is a sentence, but a list of words? We have the speculative biography or like let's say the biopic for the young star whose fame may may wane. They're fame. Fame may wane. Fame may wane. And so they make a biopic of their entire life while they're still popular and that becomes the true future until the alternative one comes and becomes the true one. Correct. Then we have a weight loss competition for surgeons where they have to remove parts from patients and then present a conscious part patient who is the release.

Okay, both of giving a high five. Okay, well, of giving either a high five or a yep. Well, I get yep. A yep, and they have to be the lightest. I wonder what sound, because they would be, like, you could remove certain bits in the mouth and tongue and larynx presumably, and still be able to make a yep,

maybe not a yes, because you, yep, yep. You don't need a tongue for a yep. You probably wouldn't need most of the cheek. Yeah, I think you, I think you, I'm trying to imagine what it'd be like without a cheek. If there was just a big hole there, I don't think, yeah, I think it could be fine. I don't think you would get the, because I think you need

to control the, but I think, I think if the air could just come out through the sides of your mouth, you wouldn't get up. You just get up. Well, we'll find out afterwards. I mean, you could put in, there's nothing to say that you can't put in. You can't add other stuff in, right? Yes! You know, this little device that allows you to do a put sound.

Yeah, or you just replace the cheek with just like a very thin film of cling wrap. That's very good. Very good. Then we have the good smelling skunk, the children's book, or the skunk who never stunk as it will be known when Andy writes it. Then we have wolves and old folks homes. They're very caring for their old people, and they've raised our young, therefore, they probably will raise our old people.

Yeah, well, more importantly, they've been shown to care for their elderly. That's what I said, raise their old people care for their old people. But the important part is the part that they've actually shown that they're capable of living with humans. I think that was the important part. Oh, okay, that's the important part. But more importantly, we're going to be disguising the old people as wolves and putting them in their barrow. Wolves anyway, so it doesn't matter in their barrow. And then we got super rat familiar.

Yeah. So that's a creature whose poop you can eat and they can eat anything. But as long as you got this rat with you. You'll be fine. You'll always have food available. It could just be you and the rat in a bubble with a pile of trash and you could live 100 years. You could breathe those oxygen farts.

Yeah. You know that, or I would love it's like this is part where you're walking around with your rat and it goes into somebody's front yard and starts eating the wheels of their car and they're like, all right, you go, I can't control the rat. None of us can control the rats. We can't right, you go, I can't control the rat. None of us can control the rats.

We can't control them. No, we can't control them. They're happy to stay with us. Right. But we can't control them. Look, I mean, it sounds like something that humanity would get on board with. I think it's sort of a, you get stuck

with that scenario. Yeah. I think even a super rat wants companionship. And you'll defend them. So one thing we can give them that they need. We also genetically engineer them to want companionship. That's right.

And then we got the environmental subscription. That's where, you know, we can get Bayes' aus to save the Earth, but it's gonna cost us a monthly fee. Then we got the super-scription That's where we get paid to not kill ourselves because The world has got the same thing. It might think so bad. So bad. So then they'll pay us a little bit of money so that we stay alive. We don't kill ourselves ourselves and then we keep watching their shows.

And then we've got a glitch in the world of the ideal. And the real nice accessible sketch, accessible filmable. Ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da da ba da ba da ba da ba da da ba da ba da ba da Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, I'm at Alistair TV and we're at Two in Tank. We're on Instagram at Two in Tank. I'm at a Trombley virtual. You can give us a review which makes us feel so good. You can listen to Shusher guided meditations. You can join the Patreon. Can you believe that? Oh my God, it makes us feel so good. And it helps us through big long periods of unemployment. It sure does. It certainly has. Can I just plug while we're here? The Fire Bad Comedy Gala, if you've been watching the news about the fires in Australia

and you are in Australia, specifically if you're in Melbourne, Stupatoz Studios is presenting at HALLA on the 25th of January, the Fire Bad Comedy Gala, which has an insanely good lineup of amazing comedians, including Alistair Trombley-Bertchell. What? Yes. I will be there. And Matt Stewart will be hosting.

It's going to be an absolutely crazy good lineup. Tickets are $40. It's at HALOR on the 25th of January. I'll put a link down below and all the money goes to the Red Cross, Bushfire relief appeal. So it's an absolute no-brainer. Absolutely. I also appeared on the book Nookie podcast by Brian Kalella, where I went on and spoke about my favorite book that it took me seven years plus to read White Noise, and it's the best book.

And you should find the Book Nookie podcast and listen to that because there's a lot of episodes in there really great. And there's also an episode with me if I haven't already mentioned that on this podcast where I talk about three men in a book, both. Three men in a boat, and in a book. And you can buy tickets to our comedy festival shows. Teleport, on sale now, and couldn't be more thrilled with everything, that's my solo show.

But buy tickets to Teleport first, that's the most important thing. Yeah, but then the second most important thing is to buy a second ticket to teleport to bring a friend. But after that... The comedy festival does have a three-show deal thing. I can't remember what it's called, but... Absolutely.

See, teleport three times. But yeah, but you can buy three shows and it'll all be for like a discounted price. Yeah, so you might be able to find that on the website. On the website. Yeah. I'll try and find a link to that. Sorry about so many plugs. Thank you so much for listening. You're the best. Take care website. Yeah. I'll try and find a link to that. Sorry about so many plugs. Thank you so much for listening.

You're the best. Take care of yourselves and we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? It's up to you. the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu.