Two In The Think Tank - 227 - "DOOR DOOR"

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

Dumbpartment, Rabid Dancing, DD, The Monarch's Monarch, Big Dead Energy, The Internet Breaks Ralph. Prison BreakthroughThe sad news is that the COMEDY FESTIVAL IS CANCELLED so you can't get tickets or come see any of our shows. Brutal times, deep thanks to everyone who bought tickets (you will get refunds) and we hope to see you all soon.But, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereWild, animal thanks to George for producing this episode Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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this podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Okay I'm recording now. Me too. You ready? Okay. I've got a boat that's made of gravy. I've got a boat that's full of gravy. I've got a big gold gravy boat. I'll get in and right about. Booyah. Booyah. Booyah. Yeah. This is the first time we've tried to do that bit that was already a monumental challenge for me over over over this the long distance over long distance overly long distance as far as I'm concerned. Absolutely.

But we are equidistant from each other because other because egalitarianism is very important to us. Thank you. That's interesting. However, two points are always equidistant from each other. Alistair, you know what you've got there? That's either the most interesting thing that anybody's ever said, or the stupidest comment that's ever been made. Wow. And you know what? I thought of it before the pod.

I hope this is serious. This can't even be blamed. This can't even be blamed on. I just need something to say. Yeah, but it I went. I went, that sounds too dumb to say. I went, no, no, no to say I'm going Yeah, you you want to restimate me brain look it's one of those things that sounds So dumb, but then if you search for it on the internet you'll find that Bertrand Russell wrote like an 800 page book on that shit or something

Yeah, you know, but then there'll also be like a physicist who will Who will say will actually, actually, you know, if you're under these conditions, one point can actually be much closer to the other one. You know how that might be possible? If you had some kind of one way wormhole, like a mono directional, it's a one way space a one-way space valve.

One-way space valve. But like, but a maths version of that, or like, you know, yeah. And then you could have a sort of a shortcut in one direction. But, but geez, I mean, yeah, relies on space being curved and all sorts of complicated stuff.

Which is why what you said is so clever or so so Um, can we can we get a sketch out of that do you think? Hmm very interesting question Hmm that I am delaying whilst I remember that I need paper and pen Okay, well, let me allow me to allow me to put this out there that like like there is a duality to certain types of comments, right? That much like the way of particle duality of matter or of light, that is the smart dumb duality of comments. Where you can, there are some sorts of things where it is impossible to tell whether or not they're smart or dumb until it's experimentally tested or, you know, until it has some kind of effect on reality.

And we could, we could be a, Are you suggesting some kind of government department or? You know me, I love, I love a government department. I love a board meeting. I love a, I love a government department. I love a board meeting. I love a Nobel Prize ceremony. And there could be, there could be something along those lines. There could be some kind of situation where you don't know whether or not something is smart or up until the moment when it is awarded a Nobel Prize.

Sure. Yeah, I mean, it could be a whole department of a university maybe that's the the department of smart dumbness and they study different statements. Not smart dumbness sounds too too definitive, right? Yeah, but you know, but of a statement intelligence duality, you know, that's maybe what the department is. Yeah, I think that's something, I think that's definitely worth a little cheeky right down on your freshly sourced piece of paper and newly discovered pen. I got it's interesting times when I live here, isn't it? I realized today that this thing of like you can't have more than two people outside for a non-essential thing is basically it's a ban on protest, right? Like, that's what they're doing. For the next six months. They don't want us to. Yeah. They're basically shut down

our right to protest. And like I know wonder, you know, if certain businesses and things are still ongoing during that time, they're going to be able to get away with, with, shit, I imagine. Right? Like, how can you go and protest a logging of some precious thing or something? If you can't go outside. That's true, but then let's see if any more bad stuff happens. Maybe this will be a great time for turns out protest was only making it worse. You know it it is a bit like that, isn't it? Like, you know, when you tell your kids what to do,

the more you let it turn into a thing, the worse their behavior becomes. And maybe the evil corporations and the corrupt departments and that sort of thing in ministers, we're only doing that because they were acting up, you know, trying to get a rise out of us. And if we just do that, you know, we let them fall over.

We'll have something to rebel against. Yeah, they're rebelling. It's like an exotic animal training, Andy. Any reaction is going to cause another kind of reaction. Yeah, I know that fact too from exotic animal training. That's where that that will know and fact comes from. Yeah, well, you know, if you're trying to train an exotic animal, say a gorilla. And does this only something to check it? Does this only apply to exotic animals?

This is definitely helps the most because they're less familiar with humans. I guess, okay, so exotic basically means non-domesticated, does it? Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, right. So I mean, which for you, does that apply to exotic? Which of course domesticated for you, we've addressed this before, you've, you've got sort of no idea what domesticated means.

So for you, domesticated means, I don't know, nothing or or or or everything I can't remember. I, I'm interested in how this feeds into exotic dancing. And whether or not, does that essentially mean that, like, if you go to see an exotic dancer, that's an exotic dancer, where it's exciting, but the reason it's exciting is because they're so dangerous and they could just rip your face off. That's right. Because I feel like, but we need that element to make it okay. You know, there's this feeling of exploitation associated

with that kind of thing. I'm not sure I'm not going to, I'm not passing judgment here, but there's the feeling that there might be some exploitation involved. But, well, I think maybe there's a way in which exotic dancing can, you know, I think what we're finding here Through this theory is that there's a way in which exotic dancing could become more interesting Yes, by by allowing the people to be more dangerous by you know say that's the try to a strip club

Yeah, if you went to a strip club where All the people who are dancing have rabies. Yes. You see? So now, because I mean, it's like with food, right? You want to get the balance of things right. You want to get some acidity. You want to get some saltiness.

You want to get some sweetness, all that kind of stuff. And same thing with dancing. You want there to be some sexiness, but you also want there to be some tension from a fearing for your life. Yes. You don't know what's going to be stripped. Is it clothes or is it your skin by a wildly flailing exotic

dancer? Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Um, I'm just writing down exotic dancing improved by rabies. They're not just dancing around a pole, they're dancing around our very concept of acceptability. Um, and something.

That's right. Like do you consider it acceptable to pull somebody's face off? I don't know. Well, that's right. But I guess anything that you can go behind closed doors and see something that you don't see around open doors. That's kind of, I guess that is exciting in a way. That's often why people go behind closed doors

to see things that aren't available in the room they're already in. Yeah, that's one of the few reasons to open a door, I think. Yeah, and go behind it. That you're not already seeing. Very often, secret things happen behind closed doors, but I would say even more often,

even more secret things happen behind open doors. Like, you know, when you open a door and there's that little gap behind it, and that's where the sort of the assassin might be hiding because he heard you coming down the hall and ducked behind the door when you open it. Yeah, wait.

So they're behind an open door as in like, oh, in the gap between the wall and the door. When it swings around like that, because we talk, we're- I've been using that hiding spot a lot more Since I've got a kid now again. Yeah, it's come back into play. That's a really valuable little space. I have a lot of... Yeah, I kind of... You've got a lot of hiding spots in the house.

No, I was gonna say I have a lot of business meetings back there because it's even more secret to... Vettin' behind it. And now, further to your point about them hiding behind open doors. In a way, does it become sort of another closed door? Yeah, well, it's interesting because I think what why it's so powerful is because it looks like an open door and you look through the open door and you think, well, there's nothing to hide in here. But actually, there is a small area where things can be even more hidden because they're given that veneer of visibility, the illusion

of transparency. So I think what you really need is every door should have a second smaller door inside it so that you can open the door and that door inside it, so that you can open the door, and that door is open, and then you can open the little door in that door, and just check that nobody's hiding behind the open door. Sure. Sort of like a doggie door, but it's really, yeah, and then, but when you open that door, does it open towards the open door, that door. Does it open towards the open door? Like the, or does it open towards the outside? Well, you know me, Alistair, I love things to be infinitely recursive. So I would, yeah, so it kind of opens out further towards the wall. So while, while it'll be a smaller door, so you'll be able to see people's feet or whatever. And so people can't hide behind that door.

feet or whatever. And so people can't hide behind that door. I think you still could have like a tiny sort of little crab robot. Yeah, crab robot or a bat or say a very large mouth. Yeah, sort of hunching behind that door. An exotic mouth maybe. And so, a an exoticoth. Possibly an exotic moth or a regular moth with rabies, which is what I guess makes it also exotic. It does. I guess as long as it's not a domesticated moth. Yeah, it doesn't have to have rabies in the sense of being infected with it. It could just be carrying it in a little cup. A vial. A vial of it. In a briefcase. A briefcase filled with sort of bio terrorist things. Yep. So that's why you need another door on that smaller door. And so that door is then kind of unfurl like a tail.

Okay. You know, they would just. Yeah, all around. Yeah. Curl around like along along one of the walls. I guess it would become your feature wall. Hmm. But then either that is always

just getting the big doors, you know. Sure, that's true. But then think of the number of insects that you could have hiding behind that. And that gap down that down that little or snakes. Yep. I guess everything should become patio doors sliding patio doors with the glass. Yep. So you can see through them. Yeah. Yeah, we're really onto something in a glass house. Yes. Yes. Um, I think you know what I think I think... You know what I mean?

I think we can write down door door. I think that's absolutely an idea, you know, to reveal the last, the final frontier. Yeah, sure. This isn't a comic idea, but when just when we were talking just then more of a graphic novel It could be I was actually more of an idea of the name for a vineyard because you know how vineyards have all their names Have all got a certain sort of tone to them

Yeah, stones throw. What do you think of that stone's throw? If that's not taken yeah, I'm a monkey's uncle. Yeah, monkey's uncle. That is another great one. Yeah. That will be the name of our reason. Does Matt Stewart refer to him being a monkey's uncle in on primates. I don't think he does. Prime. So that's a real mist, mist trick. As I'm concerned. I am amazed as a guy who I'm I have a feeling his desire to do that podcast is waning. Yeah. Yeah. I'm amazed at how committed he is to continuing it. Yeah, I'm amazed at how committed he is to continuing it.

Yeah, well, he's a very stubborn guy, right? Like I think of all the people I know, he's somebody who, when he commits to something, follows through on it to an obsessive degree. Like he's much more good at giving up drinking for fixed periods of time than your I have ever been. And then he's also much better, I think, at drinking a lot when that time finishes. That's true.

He transforms into an even funnier man. When he's drunk. Yes. Yes. It's like that episode of Friends with Funny Bobby. Funny Bobby? Funny Bobby. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. Turns out he was just before. He just had a drinking problem. Yeah. Earlier, I wrote down department of intelligence, something duality. And I don't remember what the something is. Stupidity, dumbness.

Uh, eh? Dumbness. Was it? I thought things that can be both intelligent and dumb. What are they? Like that statement that you made at the start about things being always as far apart from each other as they are from each other.

Yeah. Do I have to explain that? Do I have to repeat the entire riff to you now, Alistair? No, but I think I'd come up with a different name that didn't have dumbness and excited purposefully removed dumbness. Oh, I see. Yeah. But it's okay.

I've written down dumbness so that we've got it in there now. That communicates the point as effectively as we need it to for our own purposes. I'm just giving you a heads up now. I'm just giving you a heads up now, Alistair. That if I know you as a man who forgot to get a piece of paper to write things down on, there's a good chance that you also forgot to source the three words from a listener that we're going to use at the end of the podcast. So I'm just putting that in your head so that when we get to that point, it's not a total

shock to you. You can start. It's not a shock. And I've already thought about that. But thank you. But is that the three words from a listener, the three words from a Patreon subscriber? That would be to what I am referring, Alistair. This is where they can give us three3 on Patreon. Patreon for Slash

Think Tank, I guess. Two in Tank. I don't even know. It'll be linked below. And they can give us three bucks, and then you can send in three words, and we'll use them to come up with a sketch idea at the end. And very often, I find it's the funniest bit of the show. Yeah, absolutely. I think it's also we've gotten a bit loose, you know, by that point. By the way, thank you to all the people who have been signing up to our Patreon, especially in this difficult time of Comedy Festival being cancelled. Yeah. And also our whole industry dissolving away. So that is much appreciated to everybody. Society itself helped us. Being reduced to, well, you know, being exposed for the very thin veneer, which it always obviously was.

Do you think society was just a thin veneer? I want to do some, I want to do, I'll do some, put some more stuff up for the Patreon people. And I don't know how people on the Patreon would feel about me just doing sort of like a A dumb newsletter writing newsletter thing or something every month. I'll just write write something put in some little stories and some little jokes or something and Send that out. Yeah, maybe some photos. Oh, you know, it'd be great for patreon. What getting photos of all our moles Yeah, you know and and you know I know it would be great for Patreon. What? Getting photos of all our malls. Yeah. You know? And, and you know, people can tell us

if they've changing over time. That is a really good idea. Yeah, okay. So would it either be me doing a written newsletter or it'll be photos of all our malls, but that'll be coming to the Patreon. I might put up some little story, little fairy tales or something. I wrote put up some little story, little fairy tales

or something. I wrote one the other day and I was like, ah, you know, don't know who to show this to, but maybe the Patreon people will be interested. Yeah, but think about this. Think of all the fan art we could get for our moles. You know, you get a mole, maybe it looks a bit like a castle or something like that and people, you know,

with their creative minds. A lot of people out there are very creative, Andy. No, you're absolutely right. They can join up the dots and make different pictures like, um, Sure, but maybe it was like an ink block test that each person will bring people will bring their own, you know, histories to your moles. And tell us the story of the kingdom of the mole and the princess that lives there within. So this is them bringing their own personal history. So this is them bringing their own personal history.

And do we have a lot of listeners who used to sort of live in castles and isolated kingdoms in the mountains and that sort of thing? I don't know if you recall, but men used to be kings. You know, not all of them, obviously. No, statistically speaking, pretty small fraction. Very small fraction, but some of them worry, if anything, some of them still are kings. I've had a, I've been thinking about capital. And some of those people might be the list news of our podcast. That's true. They would have, they would have come to us through the weekly planet.

Yeah. A lot of, a lot of royalty listened to that podcast. I mean, you got to think there's probably, you know, there's a few saltans. There's a few, what's the other one? Uh, my horragis. Eh? My horragis? If you, what's the other one? Mar-Harajas. Mar-Harajas? What does Dubai have? What's the other Brunai?

Brunai, this is salt and they got a salt and the Brunai? Yeah. Anyway, there's a few of those. A few kings. A few Ayatollas. Right. There's bound to be one of them that listens to podcasts. Anyways, a few of those, a few kings, a few Ayatollas. Mm-hmm. Right. There's bound to be one of them that listens to podcasts

just to pass the time. Yep. And one of them, and if that's possible, one of them probably listens to the weekly planet. And if that's possible. Podcasts made by monarchs. You know, because people are very interested in getting a little insight into industries that they're not necessarily a part of. And I think it would be great

to, if a Monarch were to start a sort of a WTF style podcast, I don't know who it would be, maybe Prince Charles, you know, and he gets other monarchs on chats to their private way. RIP Prince Charles, recover in peace. Yeah. Have you tweeted that yet? No. No, I bet you will though as soon as this podcast is over, right? Oh, man, I'm not even going to wait. You think I'm waiting?

You think I've got the rest of that? Stay. You think I'm waiting? You think the fact that I have to continue speaking is going to stop me? Can we write down a monarch monarch podcast. This is a sketch idea. You know, and and what will happen is much like, um, uh, Mark Marin on WTF eventually he'll sort of run out of comedians

to interview. And then he'll just start interviewing people who are sort of, um, a bit, you're still there, a bit funny, you know, or have a sort of a ride or Barack Obama. I mean, imagine what a scoop it would be for the Queen of England to get Barack Obama on her podcast. That'd be incredible. So then they start getting democratically elected people. Yeah, democratically elected people or just people who are like alpha dogs, just people who like in conversation. Just Kevin, Kevin from the warehouse who doesn't take no shit from nobody.

Yeah, that kind of thing. I like that. Yeah, thanks. Because initially it could just be like, you know, it's a monarch podcast for monarchs, by monarchs, in order to exchange tips on how to best sort of ceremonially rule your country. Yeah, yeah. How to exert your non-existent power

to maximum effect. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including

the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. Um, yeah, gravel. You got a favorite type of gravel? I bet I've asked this on the podcast before. What's favorite type of gravels, have you said? Yeah.

Well, you're like a blue stone guy, or do you like those little sort of rounded white pebbles? I mean, is there, I just don't see rounded as gravel. Really? Yeah, I think, I think the blue stone see rounded as gravel. Really? Yeah, I think the blue stone is the only gravel. That's absolutely not true. What about those gravel roads like in the countryside, where it's not blue stone.

It's like those little sort of sand-colored rocks wherever they come from. Yeah, it's not gravel. That's not gravel. Those gravel roads aren't gravel. Well, you're the one calling them gravel roads. I never referred to them as a gravel road. What are you calling dirt road? You call it a dirt road. Just a road dirt road. Yeah. Yeah. So you think those rocks are actually dirt to you. No. No. I look at the pens.

Rocky road, dirt road, pebble road. Yeah. Not gravel though. That's like the sounds like gravel is the only word you wouldn't use to describe those, those roads covered in little rocks. I wish I could call it that. Yeah.

Well, you just don't have to, you're just constitutionally, you just don't have what it takes, I suppose. Look, you know, I just, I get, I have to call things by what I think they are. Okay. You know me, Andy. You know me, I don't, you know,

the correctness use of language is so important to me. Yeah, you're a real Grand Marna Nazi What a real grand Marna T. Yeah, what would that be a grand Marna T. Would just be an old woman who's an artsy yeah I think they're probably are quite a few people alive today who have grandmarnatsies you know grandmarnats who were who were I don't think there's not many left in actual Nazis what they might be dead but they would have had them when they were alive. Oh, yeah.

You know? Yeah, they might have their ashes on their mantle piece or something. Which is, you know, which is pretty bad ask thing to have. The ashes of a burned Nazi. As like a sort of a memento. The fact that you waited until the

died of a large before you burned them. Still thinking. Yeah, you waited till they're vulnerable. At their most vulnerable dead. Yes, dead. Talk about Kikunatsi when they're down. Yeah. And dead.

You know, I mean. Kikun with a flame. Pick it off the, the second and the old. Well, you know, I circle the, circle the, the will to be. And I pick off the dead because they're the, the weakest. Here's a question regarding question regarding incinerators. Do you think that we're getting energy out of those? Or do you think we're putting in energy? Like, which kind of incinerates?

You mean like crematorium once when you're burning a human body? Like crematorium once? Yeah. That's a really good question. I think we probably, well. I think we probably... Well, I think we're just putting in energy. I think we are, you know, you have to create the heat from something and I don't know what

they use to create that if it's an oven or, like, if it's gas, it's probably gas, I suspect. Yeah. Because I guess they want it to be... Do family go and watch that? Um... I don't know. I guess they wanted to be, do family go and watch that? I don't know. I don't think you watch the flames licking up the sides of the casket.

But I think this is absolutely something, Alistair, right? That when they do cremate your loved one, you shouldn't just get the ashes or have the option of having those ashes compressed into a dime and during or what the fuck ever. This is what you want. I want them to let me use the energy. Like I want them to have a little generator on that thing. And I want them to let me charge my phone from that.

Other things, yeah. Yeah, I think, like not just charge my phone. I think they should charge up as many like 12 volt batteries as they can from that thing. Yeah. That I can just wear a whole lot of one car battery. And then yeah, car batteries. Yeah. And just like a backup car battery you could have in in your the boot of your car. So that if ever you have car trouble you can get your like the energy from grandma you get your granddad out to help you with your car one last time. This is this is actually my favorite idea we've

ever had. Because a lot of people you you know, spiritual people will talk about how the energy from somebody, what happens to the energy when they die? You know, the energy is around us. It doesn't just disappear and you'll be like, damn straight, it doesn't. I got it running this shower, this caravan shower. And every day I go out under a tree in the backyard and I have a shower with warmth generated from the cremation of my maiden aunt.

My maiden aunt? My maiden aunt. Maiden aunt, have you ever heard that expression? No. No, that's the thing. I think it's an aren't who never married. You're Maiden aren't. I don't think people use it all that often these days. I was hoping to toss in something a little on achronistic just for a bit of flavour.

And I was also hoping that you wouldn't quite be able to hear what I said. Well, that is happening. That is definitely happening. But you know what, we're... But I think you know... By doing this remotely remotely we're almost having sort of an experience that's half doing the podcast and half listening to the podcast. You know that's true. I mean I do have earphones in. Like it's like I am listening to you on the podcast and what I think we might do this week

intentionally because I know historically I've done this to Patreon people by mistake, forgotten to include one of the audio tracks. What I might do is I'll just release your track, right? And then people can fill in the comments from me. You know, they can chat along to the audio. That sounds so much fun for them. Try and fill the gaps in. Yes. Just I mean, as someone who's probably tried to do that through, through just like a creative exercise, trying to fill in the gaps and then realizing that you don't know when the other person's going to talk.

And then being like, Oh, you keep speaking over me recording. Anyway. But I mean, I don't know when you're gonna talk in this. How's it any different, Alistair? I do know when you're gonna stop talking a lot of the time. Yeah. Because I'm winding up. Because you're winding up and we all have cues

that we're giving each other in how we finish off sentences. And I guess you know when I'm going to start talking because you are about to finish what you're saying. So it's natural that I would then say something at the end of that. And you pick up on my cues. When I, you can tell from my cues that I'm, that I can tell that you're about to stop talking,

that you know it's time to stop talking. You have sort of a little, a little sort of a, a, a growl that you do in the back of your throat, sort of like a, an angry bear, like a she-bear, when you know that I've, well, that lets me know I've been talking a little bit too long and you're getting sort of angry. That's true. You know, actually, when we were editing that, that other thing that we did, that other

audio thing, where it was a panel show thing. I noticed that we humans give each other cues that they're about to talk by taking breaths. The breath. Hey. Yeah, the breath. Yeah. It is, you know, it's like powering up your gun or pulling back the string of your bow People know you're getting the version of check. Yeah

So we are now down. We've got five sketch ideas. So I think we have to go to three words from a listener which you have Right there in front of you As very close to in front of me. As red as anything. That's ready as anything. As red as anything. As red as anything. As red in, it's anything. Now I'm not 100% sure whether or not we've done this one.

I'm pretty sure we haven't done this one. Yep. It's from Ian Whitehead. Hello, Ian Whitehead. Hello. Hello. Now, Ian Whitehead has sent in three words. Okay. Do you want to take a guess at what the first one is? Track he ought to be. You know what? You're two incorrect. He's written this one, prison,

be, break. And then he's written triple I, andy. So it's prison break, andy, but he's used an interesting system to fuck with us. So is he done? The problem is... He's done Roman numeral... I've Roman numeral...

Three? Numbering for the three. Yeah. Yeah, wow. And he is hoping... Prison break Andy. Yeah. Well, he is quite possibly trying to break Andy with this this numbering system.

Yeah. And I guess he's considered if he is trying to do that, then that means that your mind is a prison that you're trapped in. Oh, mate. He is not wrong. He is not bloody wrong. I tell you. And in a way, it is Andy, you're stuck in your mind. You're not like, you know that movie with Ralph breaks the internet? Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I do know about it. Well, in that, they travel along some wires and go into the internet, right?

And that's a great thing about these little digital characters, but we, it feels like we should be able to do that with our minds. Go along wires. Just go along wires. I go into the internet. Yeah, I'd love that. I mean, I guess we'd have to reduce ourselves to some kind of little algorithm. Right? Like, or a big one. Or a big, yeah sure, sure. But it would ultimately result in some kind of a loss of detail. Right?

As you do when you digitize anything, you have a bit of signal loss. I guess, but what if we find what, I mean, there's probably a sort of smallest length. There's something a bit smaller than plank length, maybe. Hmm. If you did find the smallest length and you made that the unit of digitization, then maybe, you know, for one unit of digitization, then maybe you wouldn't lose anything. So you think you could absolutely you could encode the human mind with

Or you know encode at at the resolution of the reality. I guess whatever that algorithm is That is that is what the self isn't is isn't it because you know the self is yeah how you take what you see is how you take what you see, the big question mark between the input and the output of your mind is the self. And we just need to figure out what that is so that we can process inputs accurately and output them as you would have done regardless.

But I think maybe though, you wouldn't be able to get it out of the mind. and put them as you would have done regardless. But I think maybe though, you wouldn't be able to get it out of the mind. You wouldn't be able to sort of cut and paste it. So I think what you would have to do is create a copy, a digital copy, and then build, add onto it sort of basically a sensory system that works in internet and then transfers that internet back to you so that it transfers that information back to you in your head so that you can travel through this algorithm, experience the same amount, plus more. Yeah, I mean, maybe we don't need to completely, like maybe we wouldn't actually travel along the wires, right?

Maybe we would just convert the information from the internet into a form that is sensible to our brains. And sort of like maybe just put it on a screen or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

And we can and we can sort of travel through it using our hands. Yeah, yeah, which is the kind of like an input device. Yeah, and I guess this show, this movie would be called instead of Ralph breaks the internet sort of like, Ralph uses the internet? Brows is the internet. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

But I think realistically though, Alistair, realistically, okay, let's be realistic. Ralph, in Ralph breaks the internet, wasn't going along wise to go into the internet. Ralph, whatever Ralph is, Ralph is some kind of algorithm that exists somewhere. He would have remained where he was on whatever original server he was on. I mean, I haven't seen the film, but he would have remained where he was and he would have accessed different regions of the internet or different parts of the internet as if he was going to those places. But really, he's not going along. The information's going back to him at his...

In the world of this thing, Andy, he does go and then they don't have him in the game, his original game. He leaves from that point. He leaves. He travels. And if you go into another game and you get destroyed in that game, you and the game when it reboots, it doesn't recreate you because you're not normally a part of that game. And you're going forever. You die in the riff. You die in real life. Yeah. Yeah, man. So I don't know. I mean, is the idea of somebody trying to create

a digital mind? Then, then pulling it, like trying to download their own mind into the into the thing, into a digital format, and then realizing that you would need to do that, you would just have to make a digital copy. And then realizing that really in the end, you don't even need to do that, you just need to, you know, create it into sensory things. And then basically just creating the internet that we already have. I think that's definitely a sketch. Yes, absolutely. I think, yeah, the series of compromises involved in attempting to build a brain that can access

the internet and just winding up with using, you know, they get to the other side and if they've just recreated the existing internet experience, maybe, you know, things are slightly different color or something. It's very good. And you know what that is also feels a bit like an analogy for another idea I've had based on these three words. Tell me whether or not this is anything, right? Because a prison break can actually go both ways, right?

You can break out of a prison or you can break into a prison, right? Mmm. But, and there are reasons you might want to do that, right? You might want to escape prison, fine. Or you might want to get to somebody who's in prison to help them escape or to extract revenge or something like that. But there is a situation as well where you just want to get to the other side of the prison.

And that is where you combine both types, the breaking into the prison and then breaking out the other side of the prison. And actually the contents of the prison are a very little interest to you whatsoever. You're just trying to get from A to B, you know? Much more like we were talking about. Well, say you're trying to build a highway. Trying to build a highway, you know?

The prison thoroughfare. And that involves two types of, both types of prison breaking. Absolutely breaking in and breaking out and also keeping it broken. Yeah and I'm just not quite sure, you know, exactly what the logic of why you chose to do it this way rather than just going around but it's a more direct path. It's direct exactly, you know, that two put shortest distance between two points, which are always the same distance away from each other,

as the other one is. Except for in a situation where an undiscovered situation in which they're not. Yes, then you might have a reason for doing that. It's a prison break through rather than a prison break. Yeah, what I mean, I think those, the people who made prison break, they were at a loss at that fourth season or whatever when they realized that they couldn't make anymore, because they hadn't thought of any new types of reasons to break in or out.

Is that what happens like? But the fact that these guys have turned their lives around and become bureaucrats. You know, they work in infrastructure. And that then they've realized that they're going to break in and out of this prison one more time. Yeah, to put a, to put a highway in a new freeway or highway. I think that's something I'll. I'm going to write it down. Thanks. And then we might have to go through the sketch ideas that we've come up with and then GTF out of here.

I guess so. Andy. It's quite echoey in the room you are in. Is it because you're taking an extra long shit? Look, I hope it doesn't sound as bad to everybody else as it does to you, LSD. I've hung tails up through that. That's never been the case. Yeah. I'm particularly critical. You know me. Yeah. Well, it'll probably be a total disaster and we won't be able to use it. Maybe in the future, we'll have to. We it. We've never stopped. We've never stopped

us before. Allow something being a complete disaster, stopping us from releasing it. But I think maybe in the future we might have to record it because they're going to be building these houses next to us. And maybe this will be what we I endure for the extent of this isolation is construction noise, not being able to leave the house but having Construction noise piped in at all times, but we might have to record them in the evenings or something before that after they've started to stop. We have to record it in your van. In my van. Did your van parked up the road near some bushland or something?

Yeah, might have to get a van. You don't have a van? Fuck, I love a van. Oh, I guess I got the family car, the family van. You're right. Yeah. God. I wonder if that's what I was.

I think of it more of us being a people carrier. My phone's about to run out of batteries, Alistair. We better finish this up. All right, well, our sketch ideas. We've got a department of intelligence slash dumbness duality at the university which looks at statements such as two points are always equidistant from each other. Yes. And studies whether or not it's a smart thing to say or dumb thing. Yeah. And we got exotic dancing has been improved by rabies.

You know, the part that was making exotic dancing interesting was apparently the chance of getting attacked. Yep. Uh, I mean, I hadn't thought about that, but, but that's, it is alluring. Mm. It is dangerous, you know. It is a, you know, there's a frisson Then we've got an open door is also a closed door and

So we've also and which is a place where people somebody can hide behind so that's why we've created a door door And then further door doors. What about this? It's a strip club right, but it's animals wearing the clothes and they don't like wearing the clothes. So they take them off by ripping them off their bodies and then they could well attack you because they're enraged. You still get to see people, you know, living organisms, removing items of clothing,

the reason you were there in the first place, plus you might get killed. Anyway, something I think I would go to something like that if it was people putting different outfits on animals. Yep. Yeah. You just go there and then you watch them like put on a nice little pair like sailor shorts. It's always a sailor's suit. Of course. Then we have a monarch podcast.

Four podcasts, I mean four podcasts by podcasts. Yeah. Do you think podcasts will ever have their own podcasts? God, I hope so. We should make a podcast for this podcast where we talk about the podcast we were just on. Because I mean a lot of the time they get another company to like discuss, you know, let's say it's like that, you know, that one that was for that zombie TV show, the living dead, whatever, and then people do a podcast where they talk about that.

Well, why let somebody else do it when you could create your own podcast that talks about your podcast? Yeah, we have the most insight one would assume Sorry, we have the most insight into our podcast. So we've got a lot to offer. It's true And then we've got other things to do with burned grandparents charge up a battery for your car my favorite idea ever Yes, yeah your car. My favorite idea you're ever. Yes. Yeah. Downloading your mind to the internet creating a digital brain, but then realizing that you could just access the internet via a screen. It'd be better. Very. That kind of thing. It's sort of

that said so shortly. It doesn't sound as funny, but then you got prison break in and out by building a highway through it. Bloody hell. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I have been Andy, you can find me on Twitter at Stupid Old Andy. And you can find me at Alistair TV and you can find us at two in tank. Andy soon going to overtake me with follower numbers. So make sure you follow me. Hey, on Twitter. I think so. I think it like you've been growing quickly because of that two and a seven and a half thousand. Yeah, that I style. Of yours. That then got like some second life on Reddit. Yeah.

A second and third life. That's true, but you probably don't follow as many people as I do. So that's the real. That's the real score. Yeah, maybe. I don't know if that's the case, but anyway. You can support us on Patreon. Yeah, you can support us on Patreon

and these crazy times and Hope you're doing okay. Thank you very much for being here. Also, we're about to record magma we were and Possibly put it out for sale. Yeah, so if you're interested in that Keep it on you sit sit tight. It's gonna. It's coming because we can't record teleport. Yeah If you're interested in that, keep an eye out. Sit tight. It's going to, it's coming because we can't record teleport yet because it just kind of needs to be run in front of an audience.

And because the comedy festival was canceled, we can't do that. Anyway, take care of yourselves. We have a really good time. And we love you. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit visit planet broadcasting comm for more podcasts from our great mates I mean if you won't sub to you Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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