Two In The Think Tank - 231 - "PLA CENTRE"

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

Bearly Habitable, Homo Giveupus, Rewatch Religion, Recalibration Celebration, Drunk Baby Food, Eating The Last Morsel, Neanderthal, Poos it or Lose ItHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereGeorge be praised for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Progressive casualty and trans company in Affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Oh, what? Oh, what? Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, as a person with a high pitched voice. That's an interesting question. I think of myself as a person with an annoying voice

whose pitch changes regularly. So I think I work in different registers, but it is always annoying. It's, I think it's always in the upper register and I've realized maybe, and if we do work at all, Andy, you and I together. Right, I think it might be because you're a trouble and I'm big.

Do you think we harmonize in some way? Well, I don't know. I think we fill out the palette. I, a little bit of sour, a little bit of sweet, a little bit of salty, a little bit of... Jessica, in my life. Yes, in my life. Yes.

I am, yeah, but in trying to relearn the script for our show from last year, Magma, I've been listening back to a recording a lot. And I thought I was doing the high-pitched voice in the show, but listening back to it, it doesn't sound that at all. It's possible. No, but in that one you're not, I think, because I think you were recovering.

You were just recovering from three days of almost having no voice. That voice at all when I, yeah, that was a pretty interesting time. It's interesting that you, like, so much of the sound of your voice must be to somehow to do with liquid in your voice Vocal chords or something because mine felt so dry and like there would be moments where it was dry It became extra dry and that's when the sound would really disappear I think I think the noise the the sound sort of slimes its way up out of your lungs. And oozes out into the world. That's why Wales can sing so far because of the extra wetness. Yeah, because it's all slime. But of course, as you've mentioned in a previous podcast, you don't think that being underwater

is wet. No. Well, I just think it feels a little redundant. Yeah. Well, it depends, it's all a frame of reference thing, right? Compared to someone outside of the water it's wet. But of course, compared to other people in the water with you underwater.

Yeah. You know how you're always underwater hanging out with people? Yeah. I hope they're not comparing their lives to ours on the land, because that would feel, well, I think that would be a recipe for unhappiness. And I suppose in a way, that's the plot of the little mermaid, isn't it?

Well, yeah, but again, I think you're putting yourself in the mindset of a person who's lived on land and quite likes it. You're right. Right. There are a lot of people who come from bad places who love that place because they're not us and they don't look at the place where they're from as a bad place. Even though it is and we know that it is. And we know objectively that it is us who don't live there. But I'm just saying that whales, whales would think that living in the ocean is good.

I mean, we... Even if they compared themselves to us. We don't know really if Earth, we talk about how Earth, how habitable Earth is. Have we talked about this in the podcast before? We talk about how habitable Earth is and how it's this precious jewel and whatever. But.

It's so habitable. Why is every single person dying? Yeah. That's a really good point. So far, the earth has an almost 100% death rate. And kill rate. Does that sound like something that a planet in the Goldilocks zone would do. So we won't know whether or not we live in a bad neighborhood, so to speak, until aliens do arrive and give us a fresh dose of perspective. What if on other planets you only have to take one breath at the start of your life and that's enough and then you can focus on doing other things

Focus on using your lungs for other stuff like storing things in like a bag I mean it feels a little cruel that the earth has that that the human body has two sacks Three if you're lucky and you can't really store anything in any of them. That's true. You should be able to put marbles in there. Marbles, but right now when a kid tries to put marbles in their lung, they die. Another way in which the earth is not that habitable.

It has failed us. On aliens come down to earth and they say, oh, yuck, they're shoving marbles into their mouths, the entire time, because they're in some little, little, little, they're eating them like grapes, but not eating them, but not eating them in. And they say this place is so bad you can't even breathe marbles here. And that's what they bring us. They don't bring us to secret. Well, the secret of eternal life is that we're never going to get it because our planet is bad. You know? And probably by their standards, infested with Chrome and graffiti. Do we get a lot of, I guess there's a bunch of movies or books and stuff that are like

an alien comes here and they talk about how good it is at the other place? Probably, yeah. But I don't think we ever really, we never really believe them. They always say like, oh, well, on our planet, there's 15 people raised a child and it keeps cycling through society or something like that. And then we go, oh yeah, that would be better maybe.

But do you think that's that's the kind of perspective, but you know like a lot of the time the aliens will come if they're saying stuff like that It's so that they can lure us off the planet to eat us or something you know I think you know maybe why they go looking for other planets maybe in this dare I call it sketch They come yeah just to tell us that it's bad here. And then they leave us knowing that for the rest of the span of human existence. And this sketch doesn't involve that alien visit at all. This sketch takes place in an Earth society some 500 years after the

aliens visited and told us that Earth was a bad place to live. And we see what life would be like in that prism, knowing that we're never going to transcend this prison. This prison, prism, if you will. And so everybody, everybody just walks around with slump shoulders. Nobody ever tries to make anything better. Or make anything. Or make anything maybe.

Yeah, maybe we're all just sort of living this second hand existence slowly to see. Oh, I mean, we could have all just given up. I'd be nice, wouldn't it? Wonder if the U-Eden could decide to give up. You know, if they could... I think they have. Yeah, you're right. That might have lost its power as a comic device, but I think Yeah, you're right. That might have lost its power as a as a comic device, but I think Some sort of if we could achieve some sort of one world consensus almost like a Paris climate agreement, but An agreement where we agree as a as a world to stop trying

You know, and then in some ways, that would probably make, that would probably be more effective in terms of reducing carbon emissions than a Paris climate agreement. You know, if we could just let ourselves go as a species. Think of... I think I like the idea of it's like people actually living the most joyous lives that they that they that they possibly could right there outside their chasing hula hoops and their their dancing whilst putting up you know wet clothes onto the clothes line and things like that nobody has to work food just arrives and things like that. Nobody has to work food just to arrive and things like that

because they're just given up. They just got the machines to do it whatever in there. Anyway, but everybody has a really sad expression on their face because they know that it's what they're doing isn't the best. So because they've given up, they're actually leading really good lives, but they're very sad because they know that they're not good. What you've made for me here, Alistair, is almost like a cold slaw. You know, it's confusing and I don't know why it exists,

but it does contain some things that I like, like mayonnaise. And... And you want to have some lemon juice in there too. Really? Okay. I don't think I've ever had a coleslaw I enjoy. It's one of those. Oh, I've recently made a, I finally found a dressing, a coleslaw dressing that I like.

But it's also, it goes really good with like chicken and stuff. Like that's what, it's a sort of outside of your realm of experience. I dare say, I dare say something that I like. You could have it with fried tofu maybe. For Lee Comprehend. Or for food chicken. So is anything we said so far today, sketched?

Do you think it helps it? I think giving up, I think giving up as a species is an idea that I can latch onto. But I think the idea, see what I was trying to explain was that they don't realize that because they've given up, that they're actually leading the happiest way happier lives than they ever were because their lives are filled with activities that they just want to do and blah blah blah. Well, I mean so far you've described somebody putting clothes on the line while

dancing. I mean, does that? That's what that's what that's what people who you know care it's an act of love Andy. it's an act of love, Andy. It's an act of love for their children. I'm not convinced that. Also, somebody was chasing a hula hoop. All right. All right. But they're, Andy, just put in examples,

put in examples that work for you. Yeah, okay, insert. Insert whatever it is. They're watching TV. They're, I don't know they're examining people's sheds. In my mind, in my mind, people who have given up are just sitting in a puddle in the dirt just with just wet. But what they model in my mind, what they've given up on is being good and being the best, right? But they're so blinded by the fact that they're not the best and how disappointed they are

in that. They're not even aware that they're leading really good, happy lives. Anyway, I just read down Aliens, visited and told us that it was bad and so we gave up. Yeah, I think that's it. But I've also written down if the earth is so habitable, why does everybody, everyone die? I think so. And then written Goldilocks Zone and the idea that maybe what we're missing is that at the end of the Goldilocks and the three bears, she actually always gets killed by the bear.

Yeah, I think we have might have might have mentioned that on the podcast before. It feels like a familiar idea. In fact, I have a sort of feeling like maybe we've everything we've said on the podcast so far. We've said on a podcast before, including what I'm saying right now. But Alistair, I think it's all still good stuff. And maybe this is just a previously on episode. Maybe this is just a clip show.

It's one of those shows where we, instead of looking back at our best bits, we look back at the bits that are not good enough to remember that we did them. I think, you know how at the end of your life, your life flashes before your eyes. I've never heard anybody tell me otherwise. Yeah, indeed.

Well, I think to be honest, I hope though that it's not your life from your perspective, I think it'd be great if you got to see everybody else's lives just before you arrived in wherever and then just after you left. So you could tell what they were talking about before you got there and if they were saying anything about you and then what they thought about you after you'd gone. Yeah, and it'd be good if there's a little summary at the end, which said like, and Michael Kinbrook became the bakery, and we always wanted to be. And Sally, she left Michael, and she started a competing bakery.

I think... Despite him. In a way, maybe that would be what heaven is. Heaven would be the bliss of knowing what people were saying about you behind your back. Oh, what bliss that would be, because when people are talking about you behind their back, oh, don't they love to say the best about you? Well, I think even to be honest, I would love it if I could have a little glimpse and see people saying nasty things about me. And be like, fuck and look at that. And then I could judge them for being so judgemental. And I could, you know. I feel like the joy of judging with no right of reply would eat you up

You know that like the joy of judging just wouldn't be enough and then and then you get to be a pulpit guy And you can knock things off their shelves smash their So you go back you go back and you live your whole life again, right? But as a, as a sort of an observing ghost who gets to see everything, you can show up to places just before the real you gets there and then look at, look at what everybody's doing and then you can go and peer over it to people's emails and You're a hacker go. No, you know what should happen though Yes, is that once you've done that once you've lived through your life once again as a ghost this time

Just being well, you know being able to float from house to house and be wherever you want You should be able to then live through your life again From the beginning and then be mean to those people who do, who do, you know, who were, who were, obviously you're going to keep closing your life. This is a, this is a really good system. I love this so much. And if you could, if you could take it away.

This is, we tell everyone this is what you get. We tell everyone this is what you get. You take notes as a ghost, you have a note pad, right? And you can write everything down. And then when you go back and come back alive the first time around, you get to bring the note pad with you back into the world of the living. So you've got your notes. Yes. You don't have to just remember it all. So baby.

No, that's really good. A baby being born for the second time, the afterbirth actually takes the form of a big note pad. Yeah, and then it would make you realize that people who were jerks in real life Mm-hmm are people that you've wronged in another in another version of Their reality now, but you know what that does that really takes the fun out of getting your revenge on them as jerks when

But then maybe you also get to go back and see whether or not they are true jerks or just jerks because you're wrong. Right. So maybe you get to go around the history. You get to go around one more top. Wikipedia. Yep. Wikipedia. You get to see a history of edits. Yeah. You get to see, you know, where they, where they, you where they mean to you on their first run through or was this their third time through. This is a really good system. You know what it's just occurred to me? Yeah. That the words placenta and play center are both very similar. I don't know what to do with that, but maybe if I did open a children's play center, I would call it

placenta. I think that's good. Or what about if you just like a little play on words, you could after the PLA, you could put a Y in there. Yeah, good. And then at the end, instead of the A, you could change that to an E R. An E R, not an R E, center, center, C E T, and which one is correct? Is it C N T R E or T E R? Or is that one of those American American, uh, British ones? American American splits.

Um, center, center link as in center link is T R. one of those American American British or I think American American splits. Center link as in center link is TRE. I think center is, oh, and look, people often ask, what is the difference between center, ER and center, R-E depending on your answer, you may differ in which spelling you favor. They have the same meaning. What is you favor. They have the same meaning. What is the difference? They have the same meaning. Oh, the difference is that one means the same

as the other, but the other one also does. It's an American, British difference. Well, there you go, everybody. That was fun. Do you think that this coronavirus thing is making us realize that both America, the US and the UK are not good? Like, not, like just that, you know, not the, you know, obviously not the people there. But, just like their whole system, that maybe that is all crumbling. Mmm. And is there a sketch in that? Yeah. Well, it seems, it's, I read a thing and I'm not going to be able to remember any of the way it was expressed or the wording or whatever, but that like basically anyone who shows up in a system where there are established rules, they're always going to be able to profit for themselves. It's like there's rules represent a sort of, they have value, right? They have a sort of a certain amount of

equity built up inside of the rules that everybody accepts in a society. And once you start breaking those rules, you can exploit them to make money. But once you've broken them a certain amount, the rules no longer have their values. You know, they, everyone sees what you've done and the systems, the established systems are eroded and everything's cheapened and crap. And it just feels like it's, it's at that point, right? We've been living off the equity in our established institutions and rules and

social contract for a certain amount of time and now we've squeezed those things basically dry by exploiting them and being corrupt and cronyism and And now there's not much left and turns out we don't really have anything anymore really You know, and then we need a big and it's and a lot of those rules are set up after like world wars and things like that right? Yeah, and so Maybe this thing is an opportunity to reset these rules Hmm, but but then there's the people who like to break the rules who are in charge. Yeah Yeah, yeah, and I guess, I guess not enough of them have been killed, like maybe in a war, some of those people would be killed in some way.

I don't know, I mean a lot of other people would be as well, but they'd be, I don't know, I guess that doesn't really apply on all sides of a war. I don't know, I don't know the answer, I'll ask there. Be great though. Can I just go back to my placenta place enter for one second? Sure. What do you think about a placenta where you can go and basically be inside a womb, right? And you, it is set up like a womb, a womb. And you do bounce around on the placenta and stuff like that. And there's a lot of sort of booze.

Waitless. Oh, that would be pretty good, wouldn't it? You'd have to be on some sort of big elastic kind of thing. Maybe one of those things. And if you could be, if you could be in a neutral buoyant, neutrally buoyant bag, it has like its own air breathing system inside a goo, over a gooey room, and you could bounce around. I mean, that's obviously I would love to do that. That's like a space simulator.

I think you could set it up somehow so that you're on, like basically a bungee cord that's strapped to around where your navel is, your belly button. And it is sort of like your umbilical cord and you sort of bounce around on that, you know, sloshing and splatting against the edges and that sort of thing. And you could go in there with a friend and have the experience of being twins, you know, in a womb together. Can you smoke or do drugs in there or something?

I mean, I assume that's what people are going in there for. It's like one of those, it's one of those, I guess you can feel like in the alternative medicine community, they would love a bit of, especially if you came out like a tunnel, like a slow slide that is very compact. There's lots of meat and stuff around. a tunnel, like a slow slide that is very compact. You know, there's lots of meat and stuff around. Yeah. A slide that you couldn't have to.

Meat slide, sure, I got it. Yeah, like a meat slide, you got to kind of squeeze out of the meat slide. Colleges too. Everybody. Yeah. Yeah, so there's quite a, there's a full. Is it still for kids?

Well, I mean, I, I guess you have children. You know how any new experience terrifies them. Yeah, I, well, this isn't new. If you go into this thing, go into this cramped little room filled with goo. Hmm. Um, well, okay. I think there could be a lot of jelly in there. They'd probably like that. Maybe the goo would be jelly. It'd be interesting to go into a womb with your own child. Yes, it would. Yeah. So this is like the apartment I got for you first one and and so you're both in there having this kind of in-worm experience

You've got your you've both you're being twins together hanging out and then you get to be reborn as siblings and Then you don't have as much responsibility for them That's so that you can change your relationship. Because you know, like how sometimes, like a nephew, uncle relationship, it's just a weird relationship to have. Yes. Somebody, you know.

So what you do is you go into the play center. Yeah. Together, and then you're reborn as brothers. Yeah. I think. And then you're no longer,. I think you know and then you're no longer you no longer have to be uncle nephew anymore. Yeah it's kind of reforming a an existing relationship you can you can turn any sort of relationship what will allow you to do is you you can also sort of attach

yourself onto the back of the place center with your belly and you can pretend to be the the plus center place and you can pretend to be the mother right and the whole thing is shaped like a big belly that you know anyone that you know can then go inside and come out of your stomach. If I are any sort of natural or cesarean means that you would prefer and they can go in in pairs or in triplets or something like that. So I guess you could also go in and just like offer, let's say your kid goes into one with your wife. So

your wife takes the goes behind the placenta and she kind of takes up her role again as the mother. And then the kid goes into the placenta. And then let's say you, let's say you just give her like a bottle of wine and you, and then the kid is born and then you your your your relationship is sort of is then recalibrated to dad's might who comes around every now and then like that. And that's what it what and so that's how you can

relinquish your fatherhood. So you're just someone who gives a report of why I'm just like congratulations. Yeah, dad's made. But you're no longer the dad, your dad's made. Yeah, that's nice. It drops around. Yeah. So you can do it.

By reading, you know, treating, you can also be the doctor. Mm. You know? Yeah. I think, because I mean, right now, that only one person can be your mother's obstetrician. I think what we're doing is we're sort of spreading it because at the moment, re-birthing is like,

you know, is an alternative medicine kind of a thing. But we're expanding that conceptually to include refathering, remuthering, reciplinging, you know, it's, it's, it's the placenta Yeah. Don't celebrate, calibrate. Nah, I don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You just have to do a lot of it. If you want to become, do you think if you want to become your kids' grandfather,

do you have to, because you would have to do the birthing thing with the mom first? Yeah. But I don't think that would automatically change your relationship to the kid. So you would then have to, after you've done it with the moms come out of your placenta,

then you, then the mom has to do it with the kid. Oh no, it doesn't change it. So you want to be your... The grandfather. Kids grandfather. Well then you just need to give birth to your own wife. To your own wife. But then I think she needs to change.

She needs to then give birth to the kid again. She does, yes, to get everything in the right order. Because to recalibrate her relationship as my daughter has to then be passed on to the kid. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. It's a cascade kind of a thing. Yeah. Anyway, it's a really good idea. It's a really good idea and I think everyone's on board. Yeah, it was worth the trip. I think everyone's on board. Yeah, it was worth the trip. I'm jelly as a food, as a food stuff. Yeah.

Has that gone out of fashion, do you think? Is jelly on the way out? I think in hospitals, it's really big. Still big in hospitals. Still big in hospitals. And when you have it, when you have it again, it is, it is still is consistently good as you remember. Yeah, right.

As you remember on the best time you've had it. Is it a full like flashback kind of thing? Does it take, cause I reckon I haven't had jelly since, I wasn't, it's a flashback, but it's also a flash forward to a better life from now on. Actually no that's not true I have had jelly shots as at university and I wonder how many more kids foods we could read a little little jars of baby food. Baby. Yes. Great. You eat it

with a shot of bourbon into it. You put a bib on and you eat it with a sort of a little little flat plastic spoon spreading it around all over your face. Skull, skull, skull, skull. It's gone. Is there any? Yeah, and similarly, I guess you could also, it doesn't only have to be baby foods, can also be foods that you sell to people who are in hospital.

You're right. Such as, we don't know why, we don't know why people are, are having the shots, whether or not, because it's a childhood thing or because it's like a sick person. It's a hospital fetishist kind of a thing. So,

Because are you having it? Because you're saying, I wanna get paralytic. Yes. You know, get into the hospital, or are you saying it because I wanna have fun like I used to, so I was four years old.

So you could have like a little alcoholic casserole, or maybe a little alcoholic casserole or maybe a little Little little alcoholic custard. I mean that almost that actually sounds like it would probably be pretty good Like yes, but it's not custard in fact. I'm sure like a brandy custard is probably already a thing but I think like maybe a Maybe a frozen peas and carrots with a sort of a lumpy mashed potato. Yeah. Soaked in first.

Soaked in vodka. In vodka. Vodka. Can you, is it possible to, no, it wouldn't be possible to make us granulated alcohol? You couldn't make it as a solid. It would just, it would just... I think there was, I did hear about an idea of a powdered solid. I know people were inhaling it.

That's different though. That's like the opposite. That's going the other way. As again, you could, you could, you could, you could, you could definitely freeze it though. Like if you got it cold enough, you could freeze it. And then it would be a solid. But, but that's no, that's no good to you because you couldn't, you couldn't consume that in any way without burning yourself horribly. Yeah, and I guess to make it a powder you would have to evaporate it, which the first

thing to evaporate would be the alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Can you freeze dry it like coffee? See, that would be great to get just little granules like that and then just be able to put in two teaspoons into your coffee. I guess also into your coffee.

A instant, instant alcohol. I think this would be a good prank product to sell if nothing else, like a good little April fools kind of thing, where you're just, you know, how many, how many teaspoons, oh three things. And it's just like instant vodka or something. And it's like these little white or slightly off white granules that, you know, you just pop in a cup and stir it in. And then. It'd be great for like, for like, you know, sneaking the bottle of water

into the, into the football stadium, and then you could then they drink, you know, they sniff your, you're, they sniff your bottle as they come in because they're like no alcohol, and then you go, bring out your little sachet. You're a little, you're Your little sachet of white powder. They're never going to get me for this.

It looks like a sugar. It just looks like you're putting a paper bag of sugar into a bottle of water. If you did like put cocaine into a bottle of water and just drink it like water, would that have a cocaine type effect on you? I don't know for sure, but I would say that the molecules of cocaine are probably not destroyed with impact with water. Yeah, yeah. Because I guess if they work in your body, then... And your body is pretty wet in there. Is pretty wet, yeah. Do you think there's any places in your body

where there's just water or is it all just like various brines? I don't know if there's any pure, pure spring water. Are you looking for like a spring water kind of thing in there? Like, yeah. Yeah, I remember hearing about that thing on QI where they were talking about those people keeping those galopagus turtles because they had a big bladder of water. They have a reservoir. Yeah.

A reservoir of fresh water inside them, but then also their meat was unbelievably delicious. It's a real mistake, isn't it? And also having something that like comes in its own packaging that you can cook it in its own shell. And it lasts forever. You can store it for so long. Like, okay. You sure you don't want us to eat these to extinction, God?

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Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu Because it feels like that's what you want. If you had an opportunity to eat, let's what you want. If you had an opportunity to eat, let's say you're at a billionaire's party. I know I have a bit of a billionaire's party kind of motif that's been coming out a bit more recently. I have a strange alien civilization motif, so you go with yours.

Yeah. So let's say you're on a yacht with Bill Gates and Zuckerberg. And you're there because they said that they love your work. Okay. And then they go, oh, I know you're a vegetarian, but the chef has just cooked up some cool office turtle. Yeah. Would you like a slice? Do you think you'd eat meat again for that? you like a slice. I'll tell you. Do you think you'd eat meat again for that? I'll tell you what, it's wrong to eat an endangered animal, but once it gets down to the last living, the last one of a species, yeah, it's okay again.

It's okay again, I think, isn't it? Yeah. Like in a way it's almost Humane the humane thing to do because like loan some George that last glass because turtle they talked about him as being the loneliest turtle in the world Like he wouldn't hang out he wouldn't hang out with turtles of any other species Well, not for the purposes of this sketch, and that's why I think that like putting him out of his misery,

it's almost a moral imperative to eat the very last one of the turtles. Also, especially considering you're the last person who could possibly report on what it tasted like, like that's a piece of knowledge as well that disappears when that thing dies. That's right. you're the last person who could possibly report on what it tasted like. Like that's a piece of knowledge as well that disappears when that thing dies. That's right. So a precious gem of wisdom, you could describe it in such detail that in a way through your review of his flavor, Lonesome George would live on in a sense.

Oh, especially those who got to pub, and drink his reservoir of freshly fresh water. I wonder how fresh and watery it was or whether it had a bit of a raw turtle taste. I think there's a sort of a version of fresh that you'll, that is what passes for fresh when you've been at sea for six months. It's sort of lost contact with perhaps what freshness was truly supposed to mean when the coin, when the term was coined. I think I guess compared to the, to the briny nature of seawater, what's in this, what's in this bladder, even though it does have a bit of a turtle tang, does seem pretty fresh.

So look, I've written down last one of a species is fine to eat. And I think you're right as well with the tasting thing because the tasting thing, it probably wouldn't have been tasted since it went it got endangered So that could be 35 50 years 70 years Like that so there might not be anybody living anymore who has tasted it and Their idea of what's good back then was very skewed I mean they were eating turtles. We could, by eating that last one, what you could do is you could let everyone know,

you could say, well, look, it was actually, it was delicious. So they were probably right to eat them all to death. They were, but also they were, they would have been worth saving. Oh yeah, that's the flip side, isn't it? But also like, but I think all of these animals you probably could save if you made them commercially available products. commercially viable, you're right, if they could be far.

Because like the cow isn't going extinct, is it? No, exactly. And so they could have saved the Galapagos turtle if they had farmed them. Hmm. And and then made them a readily available meat. And so but they chose to just let them go. And that's fine.

How does that how does that work with your morals, by the way? Eating the last one. No, deciding to farm the Galapagos turtles to save them. Yeah. It's interesting. I think it's interesting. And I think it's maybe funny or if you get to something like hummingbirds or something like that or You know like a like a hummingbird farm to me seems seems funny and

I mean what else is something that is is really endangered Some sort of a lot of them are Galapagos turtles. Alistair. Oh, I had another thought. It was. I saw, I don't know, I didn't read this article, but I saw it said that they were thinking about bringing back, who were those, and the Andrathals? Bringing them back. Wouldn't that be cool?

I think that would be really great. I'm, I'm interested to know more. How are they thinking you're bringing them back? Well, I just, I started reading about it in the, and then it was like, it was a big, I think, I mean, that's right. So I think the article started, it was on the Guardian, it started talking about climate change

and how we're blah, blah, blah, destroy the planet. And then it started talking about art and how art is important and should stay in the moment. And I guess eventually it was gonna get to the thing about Neanderthal. So I don't know if it was as a work of art or as a statement for saving, or maybe as a common enemy that we could all have. So the Neanderthal DNA has been mixed in with our DNA, homo sapiens, right? So presumably by finding people who had various different amounts of it, you could breed those people

together. And then of their young, select the ones that had the higher percentage of Neanderthal DNA, presuming that you could detect something like randomly somewhat of more than others. And then you could be there. I think some that are relatively well preserved that we have that you could probably get DNA from. I'll just clone them. I was going to do mine with lots of sex. But if you want to disclose with a test tube and a-

I remember Andy. I remember when I suggested creating Melbourne's tallest building. I remember when I suggested that once that you and I should design one and you said, oh, could we do it by having sex with lots of people? And I thought, oh, I thought maybe we could write down and draw it. And then you were like, oh, what? This is shit. I hate architecture. This is this is me. This is me. you've got me absolutely down. Architexture is definitely the name of some sort of furnishings company or something like. If it's not...

Somebody who decides new, a pollstery. Yes, if that's not the name of that, one of those, then no one should be allowed to have any more of those businesses ever again, because they've all missed the greatest opportunity, and they've led everybody down. Yeah, if only they had been sort of audio-cuttax. Contacts. Do you think that my theory about getting Neon Thol's back through lots of selective sex could work? That you could sort of reverse in fact, I think we could maybe think a guy who's proposing it

The guy who's proposing it and he goes worse worse. See what happens? People get to have lots of sex. Yes How bad could it be no, but I actually could do it like We don't have to just get near if that works conceptually Then it doesn't just work as a way to get near and a tholes It also works as a way to work our way back through the entirety of human evolution Right back to the dinosaurs or whatever right. Right, if we play our cards right, do a lot of testing, work out exactly how we got to do it. We can sex our way backwards through time, and eventually, it'll take a while, but somebody

could give Perth to a fully formed tyrannosaurus rex. It's pretty good. And just through very kind of very selective sex, right? Yeah. Where what you're just finding people with very strong T-rex genes. Yes. And then, so the very still dominant T--Rex genes and breeding them with somebody who has very dominant T-Rex genes in another area. Correct. Until eventually. They're all T-Rex.

I guess we're selecting breeding for somebody becoming a T-Rex. How many is that wrong? It's all in there. It's just a puzzle piece I Would I would put the stand as a sketch L. Astaire? India have great Bloody yes mate. I mean I haven't written then maybe T. Rex's Do we have enough to go to a an idea for three words from a listener L. Astaire?

to go to a an idea for three words from a listener Alistair Andy I'm happy to tell you that yes we have enough sketches we have one two three four five six seven sketches Some of them you know not so sure about how they're definitely a sketch but And they have allowed us to get to the section where one of our Patreon supporters who's sent in three words Is suggesting those words right and today's listener handy is do you want to guess? Lance No, it's Steve Paul Brook. Steve Paul Brook, I knew it. No, Paul Brook.

Yeah, I knew that too. Steve Paul Brook. I Steve, thanks so much for supporting the podcast. Yeah, it's a real joy having you. I believe Steve was in Melbourne, may still be, although the government did tell people from other countries to get half basically and I think Steve was from the UK. I don't think that meant Steve. You might be going. They said that. We actually, we've organised. When you just use the the code, the offer code,

think tank, to in tank at the immigration desk at the airport and they'll give you an extension of two months on your visa. We were able to get that deal for our listeners. They'll give you a special room. Nice. Anyway, I was trying to imply that it was going to be a padded room. Yeah, that's good. I got it. Yeah. Anyway, so Steve's three words are superfluous. Amos. Oh. And now this next one pardon if I don't pronounce it correctly, but I might nail it.

Hanerriffa. Hanerriffa kabilatudinatibus. Honorific, Kabilet to denatibus. Honorific, Billet tood in Atabus. In the tatibus. In the tatibus. In the tatibus. Look, I don't know what that word means. I know honorific is a term like like like a sir or something like that or madam. Those are honorifics, aren't they? Yeah. Not sure. There were there. Yeah,

I believe they are. So and superfluous anus. What? Yeah, superfluous and anus, but hang on, I'm just going to look up what this word means. Oh, I wonder if it's a real word. It feels he may have. Is the date of an ablative plural of the medieval Latin word, honorificabilitas, or whatever it is, which can be translated as the state of being able to achieve orders. Wow. Well, I guess there would be a certain amount of honour in rendering Uranus superfluous. Absolutely.

So you've found a way to disperse the waste? Yeah, or to not produce waste in any way. Oh, become a no waste household. Yeah, you know, I think what about, you know, there's a dry July and there's, buy nothing new month and there's that plastic free month. What about a month where you try not to poo? Well, you try to not produce any poo.

Try not to produce any poo, exactly. Yeah. Or is it no nut, no, Vemba? Is that one? Or is that a joke one? Is that a joke one? I'm not sure. No nutmov member? That's where you grow a mustache and try not to masturbate.

So I think, I think, what would it be? Well, you eat more foods that you can breathe out. Foods did kind of turn into pure carbon in your body. Okay. So that you can just breathe them out as carbon, as part of, you know, the lungs just takes the carbon or whatever and puts it and then makes it into carbon dioxide. Well, I'm sure we've talked about on the podcast, trying to come up with a food that doesn't produce any waste, right? Because why do you need to produce waste? Surely if the food didn't contain any of the components that then wind up in your poo, you wouldn't need to make any poo. discover in this sketch is exactly that. Yeah. And they've become a no-ways household. And by doing that, it turns out that the anus is a use it or lose it scenario.

Sort of like a like an earring hole. If you don't use it for a little while, it closes up. Close the up. Very little do you think you have to go and get it re- You can get a sharp bit of metal and just push it through. I mean, it would also, the other, there'd be a flip on this whole story, which is where humans aren't born with an anus. But then you have to earn one. Well, you, you, it's something that like at a party, maybe some girlfriend's of yours will give you one

with like a needle at a one cork. Like they would pierce your ears and then you've got to go back to your parents and try and hide your ainess from them because you don't want them to know. Look, it's a fairly unpleasant experience. This is because your parents are a no-waste family. Yeah, it's because your parents are a no waste family. Yeah, it's a fairly unpleasant idea. I mean, I like it. That's what we've got. That's what we've got here. The yeah, I like, I like use it or lose it. Absolutely. Um, all right, Al. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Well, then I will now that I'm finished writing, I will take us through the sketches.

Are you okay with that? Yes. Oh, also, thank you, Steve. Thank you, Steve. I hope you feel okay about that. Our sketches. Yeah, and I hope that you're well wherever you are. And Patch as well.

And all of the people who were here on migration visas in Australia and who may or may not have had to go back Tabitha. I hope Tabitha is all right. I think Tabitha is still might still be in Melbourne. Still with us. Okay, everybody. I hope people are doing okay when the government isn't supporting them. Yeah. And with so many industries shut down. Anyway, okay, here's the sketches.

If the earth is so habitable, why does everyone die? Goldilocks owned, she gets killed by the bears at every time. Anyway, it's just not quite a sketch, but it's a, there's some, you could write a bit. I think it's a stand-up bit. Yeah, I think so. I think I may, I just need to start cultivating like a more of a like a, a sciencey crowd.

Yeah. Cause I mean, you wanna be able to walk into a room and know that everybody knows what you're talking about, wait, you say the Goldilocks zone. Yeah, that's the challenge. But maybe they do. Oh, who cares? You know, who cares if somebody will don't get it?

You can just move on. All right, aliens visited and told us it was, our earth was bad and so we gave up. Yeah, it feels like maybe an idea we've already sort of had something along those lines, but look, I still like it. But we're watching, we're going to these people 500 years in the future. Oh yeah, that's true. That's different. And and we're seeing them all slumped over, leading actually quite happy lives, but they don't realize because they're so distraught by the fact that they've lost. We lost.

When it's in the planetary, who's the best wars? When it's but in the planetary who's the best wars When you die you get to go and watch what other people said to about you Yes, and then when you then you live yeah, and then you can go and live through your life again and then be mean to those people Hope we can get that up somewhere not not as a sketch, but as real life. You know, that's right. That would be great. If any supernatural sort of systems are willing to take on new philosophies, because this is what's great is that we don't know what happens. You know, we know how the, you know, that the big bang has, you know, the sets the, the, the, the conditions of reality. The conditions of the universe, exactly. But we don't know how, how that happens and when that happens when it comes to, you know, a new metaphysical sort of magic system.

And maybe you can, you know, have some input. magic system. And maybe you can, you know, have some input. We're now taking submissions for a new magic system. Get your get your submissions in to the government. And then and then people are sending things in and then they're like, well, well, this is just voodoo, isn't it? And looking through the submission, but you submission. You've sent in a thing, it'll just voodoo. That's crazy. Okay, and then you go, well, no,

this is what the Native Americans do. Jesus Christ, have you read, do you know anything about magic systems before you've come into this? All right, all right. So, okay, oh, your tongue becomes feathers. Just spontaneously, all right, this is something. I mean, this feels, this is something.

I mean, this feels like this is what applying for arts graces. Yeah. You go, yeah, I write a thing where a guy talks to a duck and they go, okay, and they evaluate it and decide whether or not your ideas could, it's got any value. Well, will this progress the form of guys who talk to ducks? Oh, geez. All right. I didn't really think that through. Oh, we can't give you the money thing.

Will you? Anyway, all right. We've got other baby food that you could use to get paralytic. We've got placenta recalibration. That's when you created a placenta for everyone. Yes. That is like a placenta. And you can go in there and you can recalibrate your relationships to people in your life through them becoming your mother or the friend of your father Who gives your mother a bottle of wine?

You know what dad's friends are like? It's so strange finding dad so funny whilst also being one and not entirely recognizing myself as a dad in that way It's true Yeah, I don't feel like a dad. Well, we've got last one of a species is fun to eat morally. If anything, it's encouraged. That's another stand up bit American. Yeah, we got bring the end of Thor's back by having lots of selective sex. And then if we can do that, then maybe bring back T-Rexes. And then we got no waste family. I think people, I think humanity as a whole, I think we want to see T-Rexes enough that we'll commit to this long term.

Yeah. selective sex program. I don't think we'd do it for any any other reason but to get a T-Rex Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. I think I think it'd be worthwhile too Yeah, thanks We got no waste family Eats in ways so that they don't have to poop. I guess you could probably just drink lots of smoothies I think I think it's still produces a few smoothies from that. Yeah.

And then you just gotta find how small you can, you gotta get the particulates in there. That's what, that's right. You just get a really good blender. You gotta be able to sweat them out. Yeah. And then also they discover that That they lose lost their ainess. I think this could be like an isolation sketch

This is you know, oh yeah, yeah Because like Yeah, but then also it's fun that a family discovers that they lose their aim is it closed like a like a nearing hole They're like oh geez We'll have to keep this up or Michael's thinking of Repairing it by sitting on a witches hat I think we should sing our way out of this. Okay.

Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe.

Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Glamglobe. Sorry. Sorry, I fucked it.

No, I did. you were doing great. You were doing great gloves and gloves. I felt a lot of pressure. A lot of pressure and I choked. I don't think you choked in. Thanks everyone for listening to Two in the Thing Tank. We really do appreciate it. I'm at Stupid Old Andy.

And I'm at Alistair TV. You can find us on Twitter and Instagram at 2inTank. You can follow us on Facebook, if you like. I don't know if there's a lot of value to it, but it's worth checking out. And maybe you being there will encourage us to do more on there. And on Patreon, there's another sci-fi try guys

coming out this month. Yeah, and you can sign up. Eight bucks for the bonus content, three bucks for the three words thing. I think we're gonna have to do another three words episode soon, Andy. Yeah, can't wait. So, we got a backlog. I love it.

And thank you very much, everybody. And we love you. You. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

You could enjoy a recession resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. is the time mycomputercareer.edu.