Two In The Think Tank - 233 - "BUDDY BABIES"

Episode Date: May 12, 2020

The Duover, Picasso Shot, Chunkies, Blandy's, Spice Merchant, Why the Long Resume, Horse Death Man Death, Water Flow House, Carpet Change, Please Remove Dirt, Back Lips. Real Hairy, Buddy BabiesHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereAll our remaining stockpile of thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi icons, it's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture Podcast, everything iconic, and I love Nordstrom. No place better to shop, particularly during the holiday season, because they have everything. They have holiday decor at Nordstrom. They have cozy cardigans from Barefoot Dreams, my fave. They have cold weather attire, party attire, plus free shipping and free returns. Free store pickup, you can also purchase a recycled fabric gift bag so your item arrives festive and wrapped. So check out Nordstrom this holiday season, a one-stop shop. You can explore more at Nordstrom in store or online at Nordstrom.com.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, Skit and Randy, Andy, Andy, Skit and Hori, Andy, Skit and Wet in his DAX. Wow, that was a beautiful synergy of like, you know, the instrumental section that I was doing. And then the, we were really, you know, the instrumental section that I was doing. And then the lyrics that you were contributing, we really were the Elton John and the other guy of that arrangement. Castello. Yes. Tim Ross. Yeah. Oh, you know, it'd be great. Great, great musical

duo. Yes. From the from the from the from the ages. Right. Split up and each one is paired up with a guy from a great comedy duo. You know what that is? I just want you to know that I mean, I mean, gals as well, eh? I think that would be, would be really, really interesting. So we're talking like a Paul Simon and a David Mitchell Yeah, David Mitch Who is your guy Andy Warhol?

No, it's Stan Lauren. Stan Laurel. Yeah, yours is yours is better Oh, I think I think what I think what was yours again? David Mitchell. No, the other one? Art Garfunkel? Paul Simon. Paul Simon, yes. I think it'd be interesting to see what Paul Simon does with David Mitchell. Because we've already seen Paul Simon in that film clip with Chevy Chase.

Oh, yes. That show, that song. Um, but yeah, but, and it would be interesting to see what medium they worked in. Whether or not they, um, tried to do a song or tried to do a comedy bit or tried to do something that's exactly in between. You know, like paint a, like paint a sculpture or something like that. Paint a sculpture. Yeah. So they find a pre-made sculpture and just paint it together.

This is, this is an as yet, I believe, unexplored art form, which is painting over sculptures. You treat the sculpture like you would the canvas. And, you know, I don't know if you go along to some art supply store and they have a range of standard sculptures that you can buy. The only time you see that, the only time you see that is like, you know, there's like fiberglass cows all over the place, the people of painting. Yeah, right. You're right.

I think it's already been done. But that end those little gnomes that people have in the garden. Yeah. But I think, you know, what about those, like those like you know Paul Simon and David Mitchell paint those lines statues people have at the at the entrance of their driveways? I mean, that's an interesting project. I think it is. I think it is. But they're both at really interesting stages of their career. Paul Simon's at the stage where he's, I don't know, probably in a hospital or something. David Mitchell's at that stage where he's not really doing that much of his

own work. He's just sort of appearing on panel shows and talking with that voice he has. Yeah, and I think he does a show where he looks like he's dressed as Shakespeare. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, upstart Crow. That's a Ben Elton sitcom. That's another, you know, interesting stage of a career. While we were talking about it, I think that could very well be a sketch idea, I'll ask to hear. You know, it's sort of like, you know, that comedy duo, that singing comedy duo, Garfunkel and Oats, they've done that thing of like taking the two less good people from the, from the Geos and putting them together. But we're taking people from totally different fields

and I like that. I like that a lot. And we get them to make something. Yeah, it's like fusion cuisine. It's yeah, but it's fusion art. And, but I did have another idea while we were talking about that, which was, imagine getting a Picasso, you know, and tearing it up into strips and then using that to make a paper mache sculpture.

And I wonder, to what extent, the greatness of the Picasso, even if you weren't a particularly good sculptor, whether or not the greatness of the Picasso would elevate your work, whether it would make, you know, where the resulting work would fall on the spectrum of art. Would it be exactly as good as your bad sculpture? Would it be somewhere between the quality of your regular bad sculpture and the work of Picasso? Or would it be even better than the work of Picasso by, you know, is it in some way cumulative?

And then I had another one. Wow, you see. Yeah. Yeah. Which was to get that Picasso and to blend it up into a smoothie and drink it. Yeah. And. Oh.

And would that, I mean, that would be work as a work of art performance art. Yeah, but I want you to do it But not as performance art. I just want it to be a smoothie. I don't want it to be art in any way I don't I don't know how we make sure that it's not art in any way That it needs to be smoothie, okay? There needs to be like a thing that's like a Faraday cage but but that prevents things from being on. Yes.

And maybe that Faraday cage is reality television, put it on commercial TV, and then it can't possibly be art. That's good. I mean, put it on at 8 o'clock on a Wednesday on Channel 7. That's not art. And if it's there, then it's not art. I mean, I suppose the way to do it would be to blend it up, have the, you know, like you would do a double blind test in science, you have it blended up by somebody who doesn't

know what they're blending up and you have the smoothie drunk by somebody who doesn't know What they're drinking and then you never tell either of them that that's what's happened and you don't tell anybody else That that's what's happened as well. It's just a thing that occurs somewhere in the world But it's impossible to observe. You might, you can tell people that it's happened, but I think as long as there's no chance that anybody saw it or that anybody could document it in any way, then it can't, it can't be art.

Does that make sense? Like, you know, tree falls in a forest. Yeah. But then just the idea that you've done it kind of makes it art though. You would have to maybe kill yourself or wipe your memory. But then when somebody tracks down what you did before you killed yourself, they're going to realize what it was and they're going to say it's art. Yeah, you're right. And maybe you killing yourself will be like Van Gogh and

it'll make it greater art. And especially because the fact by it becoming greater art made your death even more pointless than it already was making it even greater art still. And then it just exponentially feeds back on itself, becoming greater and greater and greater art. Until I don't know. Oh my gosh. Maybe we use it to generate electricity or something. Until somebody blends up this idea and drinks it on commercial TV. And we can finally put a stop to this fiasco. It's the only way. Yeah. Is there anything? Yeah, I mean, I've written down two stuff

with Picasso's and make a smoothie and put it on commercial TV. So it's not art. I mean, it's not the clearest of premises, but I mean, I think we'll find something in there. There's gotta be something. I certainly talked a lot. There must be something in there. There is an artist who just buries planes. Yeah, that's... He leaves no mark of it. There's no plock or anything like that. He just finds a place. Really? Barry's a plane there. He gets people to help him. Oh, man. Barry's a plane.

Yeah. And then it's just like people just know like there's a plane there. But people got to tell you. Plains underground. That's really, that's art. You know, putting something where it's not supposed to be. That's fucking art, right? Oh, it's good supposed to be that's fucking art right

It's good isn't it really good trying in the sky Barrier in the sky Yeah, I wonder if there's like there's not enough artists. I think who just don't give a fuck Like that like like and I what I mean don't give a fuck I mean, I don't mean like they're cool. I mean they don't give a fuck about the quality of what they do You think that that person doesn't That you think the person bearing planes doesn't give a fuck about the quality of what they do No, I think that person does. All right, okay, yeah.

But I think, but the person who tries to get a train in the sky, he doesn't give a fuck. I think that the ultimate version of that would be somehow getting sky underground. And I'm not talking about a cave, okay? Yeah. I'm talking underground sky. I don't know, I don't know how we pull it off. Like it feels like you should be able to catch

a bunch of sky somehow in a big bag and bury that. And maybe that's all it is. And I'm not talking carbon sequestration, which is a totally different prospect. And you're not talking about like just getting a bunch of mirrors and reflecting the sky underground. Oh, maybe I am. I do kinda like that.

If you could get some kind of, if you could make that work with mirrors working exactly in such a way that you can stand underground and you've managed to reflect the sky from the ground above, all the way down and under. That's got to, that's got to be art, got to be, got to be good man. The sky underground. Loves a digger hole. Yeah underground sky. Was that, that's more of an art piece though

Isn't it rather than a scan? Yeah, you're right. Can I tell you? We can't write that down. Can I tell you that? What other thing that I've written down while I go? We know that there's a smoothie, right? But why are there no chunkies? You know Oh, you see, no, we're talking. Why can't you? Now they do it. They do it with peanut butter. That's essentially a chunky, but they call it a crunchy, so it sounds better. Yeah.

I mean, a chunky joint would have to be a place. It's like a smoothie place, but where instead- But they're still volumetric? Well, in a manner of speaking, they do, Alistair, because at a smoothie place, they take things that are chunky, really, and they process them such that they become very smooth. And I feel that a chunky joint would take existing liquids and would yeah like soups like soups Although some of those are already chunky, but I you know smooth soups or or even just milk or whatever and Treat it in such a way that they introduce chunks whether that be by dehydrating portions of it and then mixing them back in or

whether that be by dehydrating portions of it and then mixing them back in or burning it, maybe, and then scraping it off the bottom. Microwaving, microwaving like a thin amount of it for too long. Yeah, get that film going. And then breaking that up into the bigger pod. And but also, I think you could be serving there Chunkies just to make it an extra special place After you've added the chunks. Yeah, you'll also serve these savory These savory sort of soups. Yeah, that are now of chunks in a piece of serve them cold Well, maybe body temperature, you know, just so body temp because I feel if they're cold, you're, you're doing them a

favor a little bit because the coldness actually reduces the flavor a little bit. And there won't be that little waft of smell that comes off quite as much. Whereas if it's just a little bit warm, just like some fresh vomit, there's that, that aroma that's released. And that's the full experience that you get at chunkies. That's the name of the chain. You could bring, you can be YO to chunkies as well.

And our slogan is, we'll chunk it. And- This is somebody who sort of, I guess it's a bit producer style, but before here in Australia, right, before they announced that they had the job keeper thing, right, that would help businesses pay their staff during the pandemic. Yeah. Uh, imagine there was a little bit of insider knowledge. and this guy decides to create a very unsuccessful business so that even if he opens he never has to do any work. Right?

It's really good. So that he and a couple of friends can get the $1,500 of Fortnite. I think you've got to demonstrate some sort of drop in sales because of coronavirus. So what you'd need is some initial capital to pay people to come in and buy the appalling produce at chunkies, just so that you can get that revenue to start with so that when coronavirus comes through, you can have that real plunge. when coronavirus comes through, you can have that real plunge. And then you do it all March 31. After that, baby, it's all gravy. And by gravy, I mean, chunky gravy soup, chunky gravy.

I mean, look, I'm running down junkies. Yeah, great. And you know, it's part of the challenge is that like we guarantee that any liquid you bring in, we can chunk it, you know, whether it's, whether it's just pure. If we bring in a glass of water. Yeah, well, we'll freeze bits of that water, you know. Or do you think they could just add like just gelatin-y type things like They take the flavor out of some gummy bears Yeah, we take the flavor in a gummy bears. We found that was the best what that that's actually the cheapest way

Be easier to probably get just the gummy bears before they get flavor. They they probably be cheaper I wonder if you could sell a flavorless gummy bear. Oh, I think it's a good idea. I would eat a flavorless gummy bear because you just get that gummy bear for the texture. Well then this is a totally new idea, Alistair. And it is a super market that only sells textures. All the food, it's a supermarket that only sells textures. All the food, it's only property is texture. We've, we've had all flavorless, it's all flavorless.

We have all the same ingredients or all the same products as, uh, as a regular supermarket, but none of them have flavor. Oh, I like this. And it's a landy flavorless milk Hey, it's landies. It's called landies Flavorless milk. Yeah, you're right because because milk does have a flavor You know it's milk flavor. You talk about flavored milk. What well the real you I'll tell you what Regular milks already flavored milk. It's flavor like milk already bloody. This is a bloody joke

and And and then obviously we'd have a flavorless ice cream, you know We'd truly be out because and we're talking plain. Oh, yeah, most people think plain ice cream, you know, we'll truly be out, because, and we're talking plain. Oh yeah. Most people think plain ice cream is vanilla. No, sir. Yeah, but that's not, that's a flavor. That's an exotic flavor. That's a flavor. When you think about it, it's like one plant in a billion that exists. And it's, you know, a billion types of...

And I think it's from Sri Lanka maybe. Right. And you go back to the, the, the 1400s and you tell some spice merchant who's trekked on camel on camel and canoe and buffalo train all the way from the subcontinent and staggers into London. away from the subcontinent and staggers into London and with his with his bushel of vanilla beans his hand and you say oh good plane now finally we can eat things that taste plain no thank you vanilla rice would probably be really good wouldn't it even coconut rice what about vanilla rice would probably be really good, wouldn't it? Even coconut rice, what about vanilla rice?

Vanilla rice would be really good. I reckon it would be better than coconut rice. But is there, is there a, now that I've painted that picture of the man from the subcontinent, is there a sketch in that? Maybe a short film? Oh yeah, I think that is. Yeah. You know, and now we use vanilla as a synonym for things that are boring, you know, I was a bit vanilla

You know what I think is a more flat boring flavor than vanilla strawberry I'm just saying it. I Strawberry I think what strawberry mostly tastes like is just is just sweet Yeah, then it that it might not be proper strawberry, but. Yeah. But, but I do, I do see where you're going in that you're trying to find something more plain than vanilla.

Thanks, Alistair. Thanks for at least seeing where I'm going if not trying to help me get there. You know, here I am. Both legs broken crawling towards the door of the hospital. You know, here I am both legs broken, crawling towards the door of the hospital, and you say, I see where you're going. I see where you're going. You know what they should do.

I at least had, if they just had salt flavored ice cream. Oh yes. You see, that could be pretty plain, because it's a flavor enhancer, when there's no flavor. Yeah, well, I think we talked about this in the past, that really the plain flavor then's a flavor enhancer. Yeah. When there's no flavor. Yeah. Well, I think we talked about this in the past that really the plain flavor then is the flavor of finger. You know, or tongue.

Or tongue, maybe tongue, yeah. But, but just salt, just salt flavored ice cream. Maybe salted water, like a salted iced water. Hmm. No. Yeah, like a salted iced water? Mmm. Yeah, gelato. Which runs the one that doesn't have milk in it? Gelato, your gelato.

Sorbet. Sorbet. A salt sorbet. Salt sorbet. Hello. We're salt sorbet. We're going to be doing some sketches for you tonight. Our first sketch is Spice Merchant traveling with Vanilla to be told that it's just playing. Now you're going to have to imagine a fair few of the modes of transport in this one

as we were unable to get our camel tested and tagged before the start of the festival. Or Buffalo Trane. camel tested and tagged before the start of the festival. Buffalo train. Did you say Buffalo train before? Yeah, I might have said Buffalo train. Were you picturing, I guess you were just picturing a few Buffalo and a sort of tied nose to tail or whatever they do. No, maybe it's Bullock. I think it's Bullock.

There's genuinely, there is one of those that is like I think a it's book. I think it's book. There's genuinely, there is a one of those that is like a, I think a book train. I think, and I think the word train might predate the, the steam engine that you're, you're picturing because you could have a train. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a few things that I heard the other day where they were saying that the word career comes. It was, it was originally just used on horses. Right. What did they career around? I guess, oh yeah, but... Or was that career? Maybe that they had...

No, I think that they had a career. The horse. Had it. Yeah, right. Well, I never thought about that. Or I guess they have. Yeah, good on them. I never thought about that. I guess they have. Yeah, good on them. Making something of themselves

Why the long resume, you know What I guess I just couldn't settle down Is that a thing? I don't know. He's sat saddle't settle down. Is that a thing? I don't know. He's saddled down. Saddled down, hello. Oh, for what?

Saddled down, saddled down. All right. Mid-16th century denoting a road, a road, a race course from French, Carrière, from Italian, Carriera based on Latin, Carissa, wheeled vehicle. Oh, and I wonder if that's got something to do with the Caricell, which, you know, goes around and around like many bloody careers, you know, what I'm saying? Don't seem to. Yeah.

Has there ever been a, there's definitely been there's definitely been I was just thinking you know a sketch in which somebody in which a carousel pony gets put down with a gun that's definitely been done right. Oh it feels like you know you the carousels broken down or something. The kid's riding it and then he and then something breaks off off and the kid and his parents go over to the the car. He who's running the carousel and say, Oh, oh, the legs broken off the the pain. And the guy's like, oh, man, he gets out the shotgun and

he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes

over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over

over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over and he goes over goes What about this? Have we talked about I feel like we've almost thought about this on the podcast, right? Almost a horse this is grim Alistair, okay a horse falls over and breaks its leg at the At the racetrack and the Trainer gets his shotgun and walks out of the field trainer gets his shotgun and walks out of the field, pulls out the little screed and shoots itself in the head because it was his favorite horse and he feels so bad for what he's done to it. Is that a sketch? I mean I guess he could just stay on the side loans and pull the curtain up. Yeah, but now you've got a little bit more. With, well, you're right, he could, but then I think people would see where it was going

early on. And that would make the sketch unnecessarily short and not give them enough opportunity to think about horse death, both though they think about human suicide. See, Alistair, you're missing a lot of the rich buildup and the comic potential of making people think about a dead horse before you kill a man. Okay, I've written down horse death man suicide. Pulling out the little screen.

It's like a little shower curtain. The other version is that he pulls it out and then holds it together. I think it's on little bathing cap on. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la You still have to shoot the horse at the end, you know, because he would shoot himself still as well. And himself, yes. And then maybe some of the people in the crowd. And then, but maybe then there would be that scene, you know, that shot where you see the blood going down the drain. Mm. Very good. It's a classic cinema.

If you want to make cinema, you've got to show blood going down a drain. Yeah. It's just, that's just, that's just the rules, buddy. That's an Aristotle's poetics. I mean, could we imagine a world

in which every room, you know how, like, it feels like the idea that that bathrooms could have like I like the idea of the the bathroom where the shower bay is sort of just part of the floor and the whole floor just drains down towards the drain right yeah it feels like it'd be so much easier to keep clean and everything. And you could then just have that in,

like if we'd really thought about it, we'd just have every room tiled, and there'd just be a drain in the corner of every room. And vacuum cleaners wouldn't be a thing. You just hose it down. Yeah, I mean, I think that would be great. I think when I was in Japan as well the bathroom had the sense that you could hose the whole thing down. The sense. It felt like it was

like a plastic, the whole thing was a plastic capsule that was placed placed inside a room. It was just like a single like extruded plastic thing. A single piece, and it all can just be wiped down and hose down. But I want everything to be that. But then why even let it be hose down when you could just have it set up. So there are jets everywhere. So that the jets are installed inside it that cover every single surface with high pressure water so that you can just turn it on, cleans everything, turn it off, boom, you're done.

All right, why have that though, Alistair, when you could have, you could live in constantly running water, you know, just, so you have around the walls, you have outlets, right? You have a drain in the middle of every room, and the water pours out from the bottom of the walls and flows towards the drain in the middle of the room. And it's like standing in a mountain stream at all times. Or what if each room is kind of a little bit higher

in the middle? Yes, yes. And so that, and that the water just rolls down the walls at all times. Yeah. And that there's just, there's just gutters on the edge of each thing. There's just drains on the edge, like just gutters that goes down to a flowing system. Yeah, you know

and That way you can just spit on the ground and you can do whatever if you want to drink you just hold your cup up against the wall Imagine that you be in bed. Yeah, you can just lick the wall, right? And it would be, it would be always clean because it's always flowing. It's always flowing. Mass or anything like that can't grow in flowing water. And do you want to piss or defecate? You just do that. Just go. Just go. And you know, some of the, some of the tur the turds the big ones they'll take a while to do they'll go they will go eventually and they'll be that nice river smell

because you may as well just build your house under a river yeah I think I think that's an innovation. You know, why it's the house. We learned from human orifices that are self-cleaning. Or I guess you could really just have it so that water's point on the walls, but you could also just have the whole house on an incline. Yeah, okay. The water just passes over the floor the whole time. That's... Because that takes all the dust away. Yep. Straight away.

Your kid drops food on the ground, carried away with the current. Yep. Some of the smaller kids are carried away as well, if they fall and they learn early. If they fall. But that's why you have walls. We're not getting rid of all the walls. That's why you have a great, you not getting rid of all the walls. That's why you have well you have a great you know around the edge to catch the the young the young and then you can go around in the evening picking them out dusting them off.

Yeah and so you know how they say it only takes like it only it only takes like half an inch of water to drown. Well then we just don't have half an inch. Yeah, we just have just under half an inch. Just under half an inch. That's so sad. Three quarters of half an inch. And I mean you could if you wanted where sort of gumboots or something like that. But why when you could just finally be barefoot in your house at all times?

Correct. Correct. I suspect you wouldn't. But here's the thing. You could finally, you know, let's say for cultures who think that people should take their shoes off when they come into the house, now you don't have to. So that makes them happy. Yeah, they can have wet shoes. Yeah, but you know, they could be wearing those surfboard,

like sort of ocean shoes. They could be, they might not be. But now, once upon a time, taking off your shoes when you went into somebody's house, was them in a way saying, I don't want your dirty shoes in my house, right? Which feels very, you know, it's like, well what's in it for me?

Sure, your house won't be get dirty from my shoes, but now if I take off my shoes, my shoes won't get clean from your house, you know? Yeah. Oh, you've got a little sign but Beside your front door that says please remove your shoes Well, I have a little sign on my shoes that says please let me wear these in your house and That way I get to like wipe the dirt and stuff off the bottom of my shoes on your carpets. Yeah. Which is what I want.

Right? Please let, please remove the dirt from my shoes. Yeah, I thought that you were the host. I thought I was supposed to get something out of this. And now I'm having it all the way. But, but in the wet, Wetshoe house. The wet floor house.

Now I have a reason to remove my shoes. It's in my interests if I don't want them to get wet when I go inside. So you don't even need to sign. You know, yeah. Anyway, is it? But you're probably wearing at this point, you're probably wearing ocean shoes. Ocean shoes. Yeah. I mean, I think that that will be a period when maybe water from the ocean does come onto land from global warming. And that there'll be that golden period when everybody will be like, this is actually really good. Oh, the golden period. Yeah, that golden period when the water's like under ankle height. And all our floors are looking sparkly as. Yeah, you're right. Nobody's talking about that on the climate. Because there's the climate denial movement, who say it's not

happening. There's the climate adaptation. People who say it'll, it'll, well, it'll be more economically viable to just adapt. There's the people who, I think there's some people who say, oh, I'll actually even be better than it currently is. But nobody's out there saying, oh, it'll be worse, but it'll be better for a little bit. For a little bit. And therefore it's worth it. Thinking in the short term,

it's going to be nice and the flaws will be cleaner. Yeah, that's it. It's actually a much more accurate. Like these people are willing to do the work, to prevent action and climate change for a bit. Yeah. And then really bring it in strong when things have gotten good. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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Mycomputercareer.edu. Good. Now is the time my computer career dot edu Good Can is is the the Please let me wipe your my dirt off on your carpet sign on your. Yeah. Yeah, yeah sketch I feel like it could be a really short one You know somebody shows you their sign, you show them yours. And then I guess you kiss, you know? Yeah, that would be nice.

Kiss heaps. We don't have enough romance in our sketches. There's no, no, this isn't a good angle to go down. You don't think so? Well, I was about to say that there's no... I was wondering if there could be a new kind of kissing. Yeah. That you do back to back.

And it allows you to kiss people who you don't know who they are and never will So what with the back of your head with the back of your head Yeah, or maybe sort of the back of rub the back of your necks together or something like that, but this is almost be good Could it be oh rubbing next like two giraffes fight? Yeah, yeah, but backwards. Yeah And then you walk away Sure And then you walk away. Sure. I mean, could you have maybe like some of that back of the head skin shaved and then sliced a little bit and plumped up? Oh, yes, okay.

Get some implants under the skin To give you a little under the skin down here. It's lumpy. Yeah You know you'll feel in frumpy gets a little Neck back of the neck lips for the goodbye kiss for The goodbye kiss For the good bye kiss for the good bye kiss It's it's for when you're saying goodbye, but you don't have time to turn around You wouldn't have to make eye contact

Well, especially for those who can't who can't stand saying goodbye looking at people. Yep. Is the is the is the back of the neck there the best place for it? I mean, I was thinking it was kind of obvious. Middle of the middle of the back of the head. Middle of the back of the head. Yeah. Yeah, but the skull is so, you know, I know, but we're plumping it up. We are plumping it up.

You're right. I think we're plumping it up. And I think it would be great if it was a bit of a suction cup. Ah, yeah, you had to get a little backeroo kind of thing. Little. I think there's something attractive, like there's something hot and interesting about suction cupping up against somebody else's plump suction cup. Or when you're at home pushing it up against the cool wall and making it make it farty sound.

Yeah, or even take the weight off your feet a little bit, right? If you could stick it up against the wall and just sort of hang there. Oh yeah. You know, I don't know how good the suction cap cup technology we've got is, but if it could be as good as that one that that guy uses to climb up the outside of buildings. Well, I mean, if it would work really well, if you could put a little hole in the skull and just put in there like a little protective kind of rubbery thing, but then so that you could, if on the wall where you want a suction cup, there was also a little hook, they could just go in the scouts a little bit,

and you could just hang, hang off the bone. Yeah, yeah. I think... Oh, I could feel it, Alistair. I could feel it. I could feel the metal hook grinding up against the inside of my skull bone as it takes the weight of my whole body. As you feel like you're like, I can lift my feet now. Yeah. I think this skull would be able to handle it. It really like stretch out your neck a bit. I hope the skull could handle it because the skull, you know, the head, the brain, asks a lot of the rest of the body and never yeah it's it's always like oh

a lot await off my mind but it's perfectly happy to put a weight on to the feet yeah and I'm with you on this yeah good good I thought I thought about this today. I don't think this is anything, but to one or to zero, that is the query. Is that a computer programming thing? Well, I guess it's a computer doing it. Yeah, you're right. It is, isn't it? Yeah, one or zero. Yeah, that's good, Alistair. Because, you know, to be or to not to be, that's one and zero.

Is the binary choice there? Alistair, I think you're onto something. Yeah. Oh, thanks Andy. Yeah. No. Well. I had a look. I had a look at the list of the script It's like there's the word sling in there or something like that. It's just I don't know how we get turned that into a robot thing Computer, but you don't have to were you planning to then rewrite the entirety of Hamlet? Didn't make it in Boolean logic a bit more

I guess so you know they think it's enough I guess I'll just Boolean hamlet I think you should probably tweet it yeah do we have any suggestions from a listener of the podcast. Let me have a look. No, it doesn't seem like it. Oh, okay. Goodbye. Oh, I guess. Oh, no, we do. Oh, great. We've got heaps. We've got heaps. I love that. I love that about that. But I think soon we're going to have to do a full suggestion episode. I know you keep saying that. You keep threatening that. It's not a threat. It's an actual want of mine. But this one, this comes from Patreon supporter Joe Dunker.

Hi, Joe. Thanks so much. Thinking about you and your family, Joe. Yeah. Nothing's happened to Joe as far as I know But it's nice to think about people them and their family. Yeah, what do you think they look like? I'm thinking about your family too One of your brothers is real tall Is it real? Yeah, and one of your legs is real hairy?

Real hairy. I'm not thinking about your legs because that would be creepy, but I am thinking about one of your legs. No one. Do you think there's no one ever got in trouble to think about just one leg? You know, I've been a bit quiet.

I've been a bit quiet this episode I think, but this is a reality show called one leg. You know I've been a bit quiet, I've been a bit quiet this episode I think, but this is a this is a reality show called Real Hairy and it's about somebody who I guess this doesn't have very much hair on their legs. Yeah. And I don't know, maybe they go and get blocked. And I don't know, maybe they go and get blocked. Other legs. Yeah, that's good. And it's like, and it's donated hair. It would be easier to get short donated hair.

Well, you know, those shows extreme makeover. Yeah. As far as I'm aware, I've never seen it. It could have been a house thing. I don't know, but I have a feeling it was sort of plastic surgery and that sort of thing. Yeah, it was plastic surgery. To make, but it's always to make somebody look more like the standard, you know, the conventional standards of beauty. And that doesn't seem that extreme to me.

But getting hair plugs on your legs to make them real hairy? That's extreme. Yeah. Well maybe just one leg, just one real hairy leg. Just getting male pattern baldness put in around one knee. That's something. Well, I mean hair plugs might look a bit weird on on the top of your head, I don't know. I don't know where the technology's at. But I know that nobody, no one will question them on your legs. Put the hair plugs where no one will question them. Well, I mean, I don't know if we've talked about this before,

but I presume that those hair plugs, they could, in theory, put them anywhere on the body, right? There's no particular reason why they only work on the head. You could get that hair transplanted wherever you wanted and why not in a sort of a curtain-like fringe above the genitals so that you wouldn't need clothes. You could just have a sort of a long You could just have a sort of a long Waterfall of hair hanging down a genital bangs

Yeah, see this is the kind of stuff. I mean custom hair plugs Where you can get them, you know, in between your toes. Oh, yes, yes indeed. Cause I don't know, you know, sometimes that area, you get like dry skin in there cause you never dry in between there. Mm. Well, maybe that hair would stop that from happening. You get dry skin in there because you never dry in there

So you said yeah, you know, yeah, so like If you ever checked in between your toes. Oh, it's no good in there. It's hard for me to go there. Yeah It's no good in there. I can't even look at it good in there. I can't even look at it. Well, I think if you had hair in between there, I think it would just keep things clean. You know, the friction in there would, I hope so. With tidy things. Or it would be real bad. Yeah, it could be worse, but we won't know until you go to real hairy. Okay, Alistair. Joe Dunker. Joe, thank you so much for supporting us on Patreon and sending us these three words.

Joe Dunker appreciate it. Joe Dunker's three words are, I'm Andy Trombley-Bertchell. I'm Andy Trombley-Bertchell.

Yeah, Okay. Um... Hahahaha. I mean, yes, he's fucking with us. Um... Oh, he's fucking with us. Absolutely. That's got to be acknowledged at the outset.

Maybe... Maybe the biggest one we've ever had. What about a sketch? What about a sketch where it's the first male male baby? Yeah. So it's like just two guys, they've mixed their sperm together. Yeah. It was actually two buddies who just figured out how to do it in their garage.

Oh, a buddy, baby. Yeah, buddy. And it was a buddy baby. And that they don't raise with their wives. They both also have wives. Yeah, so they heterosexual. They heterosexual. I like this so much.

I like this so much. The fact that two friends, and this will happen in the future, by the way. The traditional family will, you know, whatever that ever was, if it ever was a thing, that's out. And now it's truly democratized and now any form of relationship has the potential to bear child. And I'm excited. You know, I think especially like you could picture it, it could be as simple as both guys just, you know, put a bit other stuff into this little, to this cup that has a lid. Yep. Right. A lid. Yeah. I love how much you thought about this technology. I like how much you've thought about this technology. I reckon there's already a powder in there.

Yep. Don't eat that. Do gizzards into it. Both guys, yeah, both guys, tastefully ejaculated there. Not around each other. They're, they're heterosexual. They're not interested in that. They just want to have each other's baby. So they're, they're, they're going to share a baby that going

halves in a baby, right? And then, and then you just shake it. Hmm. You shake it for a while. You leave it overnight. Yeah. And then you never shake it again. No, that's the one time you can shake a baby.

To be honest, it was a flaw, but they did that as a joke. That's the name of the product. It's called Shaker Baby. Shake once, baby. Shaker Baby once. That's so beautiful. And then what what it bursts open in the night. And then there they have it. A new one. I guess, I guess then they, I don't know, they've got to put it somewhere to incubate it.

I, I think maybe in the fridge, maybe it needs to set like jelly. Maybe it sort of comes in like crystals, like, like, like jelly, like jelly crystals. You know, mix a bit of juice in there you pour some boiling water in and then you pour it into a mold that's the shape of a baby and put it in the fridge and it sets overnight and then in the morning you take it out you warm it up by the fire and it opens its eyes and there you got yourself that powder a friend baby that powder the powder is just you know freeze dried stem cells yeah and and if you put it in the mold those stem cells recognize the locate rough location they go all we know where we are I know what

to do they work it out I reckon you could probably maybe you don't keep it in the fridge but you can like keep it in the fridge, but you can keep it in your smoker. Oh yeah, that's probably true. You're meat smoking cabin. So it comes out a little bacon either baby? Yeah, at first, there was that great baby smell. Every baby has... What is that, Hickory? Baby smell.

Mm. Yeah, it's Hickory. It's sort of, yeah, Hickory smoked bacon. This is the best idea we've ever come up with on the podcast. And I want to thank Joe, don't go. No, somebody tweeted another two-in-a-thing tank bot on Twitter, follow two-in-a-thing tank bot on Twitter. And it, and is this one run by Brian?

Or is this one run by Jason? He can't be a Jason. That's a Jason one, of course, it's this one run by Brian or this one run by Jason. That's a Jason one of course it's a Jason Jason. Thank you very much. Please listeners follow to and to think thank to and to think tank bot and it tweets out sketches from different episodes and I think the best one to my mind was a guy who will fuck anything that moves is used to find a static point in the universe. Yeah, yeah, I did see that actually. I thought man that that works that absolutely. Steads up. We found something he won't fuck. This must be the one static point.

We found a place where it all began. A true reference frame from, yeah, for all motion. Hey, imagine that, do you think that that would be like that would exist? Like somewhere in the universe, there might just be the whole where the universe started from? The whole that it all came out of, yeah, it could be. Yeah. Yeah, I hadn't thought about that.

I hadn't thought about that either. Well, now I'm thinking about it. They say like the hole, the hole where the, you know, maybe we all came out of that black hole or something. Cool. And then we could maybe go through. Maybe into a black hole. Yeah, you put your finger through first. Yeah, just to be safe. Which finger? Which finger would you put through? Just one you don't need like your thumb. You don't need your thumb fuck you. I dip a toe in. Yeah.

Yeah. Which tie? One you don't need your thumb. Yeah, my thumb. All right, Alistair. Can you take us through the sketches we come up with today? Okay, here we go. We got musical jujo join comedy duo. Paul Simon and David Mitchell paint lines statues from driveway entrances, but basically it's, it's we split up, we split up take one person from a musical duo and take one person from a comedy duo and they have to make an art. Or something.

They could build a house together. Yeah. I mean, you telling me that this isn't a great TV show, people would watch this. Fuck yeah. Yep. It's um, and it's, it's all of them and they have to make something and then at the end sell it It's called a duo whichever it's the show is called the do the do you over right? That's very good

We get halves of duos and we they they renovate a house I think it's good. We got do stuff with Picasso's and make a smoothie and put it on commercial TV so it's not on. Yeah. Okay, that's it. Yeah, as we said, you know, they could be a sketch in this on way. We're not rolling it out. I think the idea of putting something on commercial TV so it's not art is funny. But I think maybe the main thing is the main take turn of Picasso into a smoothie and drink it But do it on commercial TV so it's not art, but that would be such a It's still such an artwork to find a way to make it not art It's hard

The universe doesn't want you to do more spectacle makes it less art You know, I feel like Andre Rue has really gone a long way towards making classical music not art. Yeah. And yeah, and I think spectacles are probably a big part of it. Yes. Oh no, and you're cutting out. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'm still here keep talking

Can you not hear me? I? Can't really hear you anymore. Keep reading the bits. Keep reading Just go through it. I'll shut this down and call you back Oh, well, everybody everybody Calling you back his phone call cut out or something something went wrong with the phone and it just out but I'm still talking. I hope you kept recording on your end. I'll stay Yeah, I kept recording and I kept talking as well, so we'll just be talking over

Yeah, I kept talking as well Good on us for both filling that dead air. I think that's a great idea for a while. I also said, no you go. I told them we're probably not gonna end this up, so I'm sorry. I think we should keep recording the podcast remotely, but just remove the phone call component. And we both just talk for roughly an hour and then we lay the tracks over the

top. We can leave space for the other one to say something. I think that's good, but then sometimes yeah, we might just talk in each other's spaces which will be interesting. Well, we do that sometimes anyway. Yeah. Let's be honest. I do that. The next idea is chunkies.

Mmm. It's a place that makes smooth things into chunk into chunky things. That's all my ideas. It's all my sort of what they do at bubble tea places when they chuck those little tapioca balls in there. I guess you're right. I guess you're right. It's an opposite of a smoothie place. They take tea, which is normally very smooth. But we're doing it with savory dishes. Would you consider water to be smooth? Would you consider water to be savory? I don't know. Obviously the ocean is savory water.

But what about fresh water? I don't know, man. I guess that's the neutral flavor. That's the neutral flavor we were talking about. True plant. The neutral flavor is ton. Yeah. All right, we got blendies.

It's the supermarket, which is all texture, no flavor. I learned that's Tickets' texture is time to shine. We got the spice merchant traveling with vanilla to be told that it's just plain. That's something there we got we got shooting Damaged carousel horse. Yeah We got horse death man suicide I think I think I think the main idea here is It's the bomb. It's injured during a horse race then the man puts up a curtain and gives it a shower or a bath. Then we got water flow house which is just water continues

flowing through a house with different ways you can have water flowing in your house to make things cleaner and easier. It's a very two-and-a-thing tank idea. Yeah and then the slight side idea of that is that that will just happen automatically in the early stages of climate change, oceans rising, and some group of people are aiming for that. Because they can see that happens. And then we've got the please let me remove dirt from my shoes on your carpet shoe sign.

Yes. Then we've got the back of the head lips for the good by kiss and potential hookhole. Yep. Then we've got real hairy. It's a place or a reality television show where you can get plugs anywhere in your body, anywhere in your body, and including getting genital bangs. You can get them anywhere on your body, but not on your head. You know where you could get it? Get a fucking big, one of those big horse hair tails.

Those horse hair tails, do they Are those horse hair tails? Do they have any spine in them? I don't know if there's a little bit of stump in there. I feel like there must be something. But we would have seen it. We would have seen it as shaved horses bum if that was the case. With a little stump. But then they can lift it up.

How do they lift it up? Oh yeah, it's got to to be a stump there unless they can control hair like a snake chomer They could whistle and can get it to rise That's what they do and then we got buddy babies Buddy babies, I could be the name of the podcast Well, you think so. Yeah, I think so. It could be a buddy, buddy, buddy. Oh, you're ricketing? Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, baby episode, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy,

baby episode, I got my buddy pregnant, I got buddy, baby, scab and out of all of my places. Ah! Um, thank you so much for listening to Two in the Thing Tank. We really do appreciate it. I have been Andy Matthews and you can find me on Twitter at Superold Andy And I have been Alistair Jojo William Troubled by Bridgling can find me at Alistair TB and you can find us at To Intank we recorded magma the other day

Mm-hmm and It will be available probably within the next few weeks So if you're interested check our Twitter and Facebook and things like that and we'll have details, but it will probably announce when it's actually ready in the next and when it's in the episode that follows. Correct, though. And maybe the episode after that. And then tell your friends and get them all to purchase it

to solve a Andy's multiple. As a prank, it'll be so hilarious. You can punk us, but... Buy it for everybody in your company. Get, spend the company dollar on it. That's right. Get company dime. Get your boss.

Get your boss to go. You say, should we hire a comedian for $1,000 or something like that for the annual general meeting. He said, don't waste your money on that because we all don't want to see it at the annual general meeting. But buy us all a copy that we can watch in bad later on in master bedroom or do whatever you want. You're doing so well, Alistair. I know I added that stupid thing, but you know what I mean. Anyway, thank you so much. Thank you so much, and we love. Love you. Bye.

Bye, geez. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu

and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu