Two In The Think Tank - 245 - "ANCIENT STONE CIRCLE STEVE JOBS"

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

Get Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaMale Milkers, Blood Knife, Frog Man Leg Island, Maggot Jump, MaterialScientistMan, Soul Heist, iHenge, The Punch Down Crew, Swimmers' FriendHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereWorld heritage thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello, hello, and this episode of Two in the Think Tank is brought to you by Hello, and this episode of Two in the Think Tank is brought to you by big Supporters of the show probably some of the biggest supporters of the show us That's right us and our show magma Which you can download from sospresence.com and you'll find it somewhere in there magma

It's it's probably our best work. It might be the last bit of show that we ever did, we'll have done in front of a live audience, get it now while it's still available, which it will be forever. Hopefully. I think it's so nice that one of our shows, Magma is supporting our other show too in the Think Tank. It's just beautiful to see, it's like our two sons getting along, working together.

And one of them is a sort of a do-nothing who just comes, you know, sits around fantasizing, day dreaming, and then the other one has went and got a job straight away. And he tries to keep the other one afloat. I mean, in a way, we say that this show is supporting this show, but also this show is supporting that show, though, isn't it? By this show promoting that show. So I don't know. Yeah, but what this show is going to reveal is that his day-dreaming older brother turns out to actually be

Macma's dad. Oh, Yuck. Okay. Feels very grubby. I thought it was just some kind of nepotism, but no, it's much worse. You and me, Andy, and you and me are a magma as well. All right. And SOS presents.com. And it's where you can get that. You'll find it there. It'll be imminently clickable.

And then highly viewerable. Blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp, blimp blood. Oh, I'm as in a nafe that you can fill with pre-filled blood. But it's not a trick knife. It's not one of those stage knives. It's a real knife. Real knife. But it brings a bit of extra blood to the stabbing. Is that what we say? It's a combination combining the stage knife technology. I think it used to be quite difficult to engineer, but I think it would be absolutely worth it for the stabber who wants to make an impression. And not just the physical impression that is left by stabbing someone, which is quite a deep impression. This is a more sort of...

Sure, yeah, yeah, no. You know, people talk a lot about the sea. It's that wow, wow factor. People talk a lot about the scene of a crime. But to really sell a scene, you know, you've got to put in a bit of craft, a bit of the old, that old, that old, razzle dazzle. And. That's right. It's, it's when you want to not just make a physical impression on somebody, but you also want to,

want to impress them with your stabbing skills. Correct. He got blood out of me. Well, there. Then I didn't even think was in there. And. Yeah, in a single hit, I couldn't believe he must have hit a main

artery, but why would I have a main artery there in my butt? I mean, it must be possible to stab people so that you like get them in the bladder or something like that and a bit of piss comes out, right? Piss comes out that and that is some razzle dazzle right there. I mean, I don't know why that's That's interesting to me, but you know, I'm thinking I guess I'm thinking about draining the main vein, you know, not The just one of those bloody veins. I'm talking. Do you think with do you think with a single nice cut, you could get blood, piss, and semen, snott, vomit, and earwax, all spray out in one go. The magnificent seven. The main five? Yeah. The magnificent seven. Yeah. I think

there was only six maybe maybe a little maybe a little ball in there. Um, yeah, I get I think those are the humus remember the humus. Um, I remember those back we used to talk about that back in ancient. Yeah, remember that used to be our main thing. I mean, I guess you could get saliva in there and maybe a bit of brain fluid? Brain fluid. Yes. What you want is that colostrum brain fluid. From your very first thought, that's the good stuff. Colostrum is in like the first bit of milk that comes out of the breast. Yes, correct. There must be.

Oh, if you could get a little bit of male breast milk in there. I feel like male breast milk would be or very intense, very, very flavor somesome, you know. I think Woody? I think people have a Woody flavor. Yeah, smoky, fatty, a little bit sweet. It would really be a lot to deal with. But smoky, fatty, a little bit sweet.

I don't think that I've never really examined this thought in any detail, but I think lurking in the back of my brain is the thought that in men's breasts, there must be a little bit of milk somewhere. Yeah, I think there's the, I think, you know, this I think you know, it's the it's this is you know, obviously is a sketch about the the group of men who Who know that the the this possibility of male breast milk and the reality of men having nipples is? Points towards the reality that men can do it. And they are all about recreating, it's like a red, it started as a red accrued. Red accrued.

Yeah, okay. Of recreating, you know, bringing together all the studies and all the myths and recreating the circumstances in the body in which you can make that possible. So this is male melcas. Like we did talk about competitive lactation on the previous podcasts where if men could lactate, it would become, it would become like a sport to us

where guys would be boasting about how much they pumped. But I think this is a different thing. This is one of those. That was in a dream world, Andy. That we were fantasizing back then. This is a group that actually makes it happen. This is like you know, FAPS. This is like you're in cells.

This is another male Reddit subculture of guys who are trying to sort of like people who try and hack the brain and make it achieve at a higher level. So too with the man-boob. And. It's exactly like those new tropics people. Yes.

Yeah, which is those brain drugs. Right drugs. Yeah, these people are, and the thing is, is that we go in there, we try and read it, like you and I would go in there, try and read it, thinking, let's see if this is possible. Whereas they're not even questioning whether it's possible.

They're talking about how you can make it smoke here. Well, this, this to me is a little bit like, as well, I was reading a bit about the, this sovereign citizen people who believe that they can hack the government sort of by combining the right. It's really weird their mythology. There's a lot of stuff that I didn't realize was sort of part of it, but they think they can hack government and bureaucracy by submitting the right combination of forms to access basically like unlimited money from the government. And yeah, and I, and they've never, despite the fact that they've never achieved it, it's never been done. This has been part of the like idea from when it started

in the 70s or something. And they just keep refining the process and trying and working away. And like, almost like a sort of a scientific kind of way if you're a total lunatic and all you had was paperwork. But yeah, what if all you had was a male breast? What would you? Well, these guys are like they're, you know, they talk about one guy Kevin, who, who, and that's outspread out by the way, Kevin. Kevin, who's now on three months of living off of only his own breast milk.

Oh, it's true. They would think that it's like, to them, it's like a kind of perpetual perpetual motion that like it would represent such freedom for men if you were able to unlock the power of the nipple. I mean, is this a little bit secrets of the paranoia unlocked? Oh, we just... Well, yeah, that's a separate group who think that you can live off of just the prosthetic fluid. They're milking something, how sandy. Great. Great. What do they call it? They call it malk. They call it well male male melkers is pretty good. Malk. They call it male boy soy call it. Well, male milkers is pretty good. Milk, milk, they call it, milk, boy soy.

Which is kinda how I say it, milk. Is that, I hadn't noticed it, that's how you say it, but if you say so, milk, did we, I think I've been made fun of for saying milk before milk, like it's MLK. MelKay, one of the smells, one it's MLK. Melkay. One of the smells, one of the spice girls. Did you write down the first thing that we were talking about, Alistair?

Because I... No, the knife, the knife, the knife, oh yeah, I mean, that's pretty. The knife with the extra blood inside. I think that this could be an entire range of small arms, not just the knife that had squirts some extra blood, but the bullets that already have a little bit fragment of brain and skull. Brain tissue inside them. They have a little explosive that lets us out.

A bazooka that is just full of guts, the whole, the whole enormous fucking thing, whatever it is that shoots out of a bazooka, it's already got like four feet of intestine and chugle leg. And it's all been preserved and it's all been ethically sourced. These are preloaded weapons. I don't know if you can ethically.

For that rarez old devil. You can ethically source a leg. I don't know if there's a Lego. Well, if you grow a leg in a lab. I guess the biggest, yeah, lab leg. Yeah. If you were to grow a leg in a lab, would you grow it inside pants?

Yeah. Yeah, interesting. Or would you just have a bear leg there in a bag or whatever, like they, you know how they want to grow a lamb outside of an actual mother lamb, they just come up with some plastic bag. They make a, that allows fluid in there. Like an amniotic sack kind of thing. Yeah, but plastic.

I wonder, I mean, you might use a kind of like a stocking sort of a thing, but I think you'd probably, like if you were just growing a leg, I feel that you might want to have a sort of a rigid casing, but I also feel that like if you were going to grow a functional leg, you would want to grow it attached to some kind of a living thing, like even if it was just like a frog or something. That's just like all frog and then just like a huge bulbous man leg hanging off it. So like a frog that's had its legs removed for culinary reasons?

Yeah. You just use the rest of that frog. Don't throw away the frog When you could use that we're gonna you will attach that to this lab lab leg Giving log I mean frog DNA put it into frog DNA I've heard that before it seems to make sense to me Andy. We wouldn't be the first I made that's right and you know Just I have a couple of I have a couple of tubes with, you know, with needles going into that frog. That's just for the extra fluid.

They're used to having extra fluid on them. That's why they're amphibians. They're the perfect... But now... They're the perfect animal for having extra fluids on them. Now, Alistair, I'm picturing a sort of a Jurassic Park scenario where the frogs with the legs of men escape. And you look at what a frog is like, already a frog has disproportionately large legs. And you look at what they're able to do with those legs. It's very impressive. But you give them

two full-grown man legs, you know, tiny little frog body on top there, but still they would be unstoppable, I think, like, you know, the kind of the leaping we're looking at. Sure. Especially with those, if they still get to keep those sticky little feet at the bottom of the legs. Well, they certainly at the front, they've got the sticky little, sticky little feet. Oh, they've got it for their hands. You got those hands, you know, but I think maybe if we're, if we're attaching the one bit of the leg to, to the frog body, you may as well stick a foot on the end of the ankle. A little, a tiny little frog foot.

Yeah. Sure. And I'm just wondering, is there a... It'll probably be like, you know, it'll probably be like one of those aquariums where if you put a, you know, a goldfish in a bigger aquarium, then it gets bigger. This is probably the similar thing to the frog foot, you know, a goldfish and a bigger aquarium, then it gets bigger. This is probably the similar thing to the frog foot. You know, it'd be so free they're swimming at the end of that ankle that it probably likely to just grow a tiny bit bigger, make it a bit more adhesive.

Yeah, you're right. And I what I want to know is like, is that, is that is that anything? Basically, like, can we make a Jurassic park, at least a trailer for a movie, like a horror movie, that is frogs with human legs? Yeah, well, I guess it feels like, if, let's say that wasn't your initial goal, if you're growing legs like this, and then these things escaped, and you were doing it on an island, I guess, with the knowledge that something could go wrong,

or at least it's the only place where, you're allowed to do this kind of genetic stuff with humans. It could be, what's that island that's kind of that? It's like a Chinese island that you're allowed to gamble. Yeah, it'd be like my guess. But the Macau of gambling with the lives of men with the fate of humanity. Exactly. It's mm-hmm. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.

You know, how they have a special economic zone for various sort of tax import export kind of loopholes. This is a special ethics zone. Exactly. I think China already has that question. I've got a few of those going on. It's an island known as mainland China. Well, okay. But what they were, these people doing these experiments on this island, they were like,

well, there's no way this can get out of control because we've got them on an island and where are they going to go? But then somebody does the math and they work out that if you multiply the jumping power of a regular frog by the proportional size of a human leg, they are able to jump several hundred kilometers and they are able to actually leap to the mainland and he tries to warn them but they don't listen because they've gone mad with power. And it wouldn't be that it wouldn't be that crazy to think that some legs would be a little bit misformed. You know, you're you know, this is your first couple of goals.

Oh, yeah, you're really just and stuff of the wall to see what sticks. Some of them might be really wide, but very thin. Yeah. And the frog could probably use them like wings. Probably. And there'd also be a great scene where a frog uses its sexy female human legs to seduce one of the guards by just poking them around. Of course.

The corner. Clever girl, more like. Clever girl, then, yeah. How did they learn how to use skirts? There was a TV playing old cartoons in the lab. And the frogs would always watch it very intently. And they learned a lot of. Especially fun and stuff.

Shippard women. Yeah. And they would they would learn to shave their legs. They could they could see that there was a lot of power and hair removal. Yeah. I feel like this film can be criticized for its male gaze. Well, that's one of the loopholes that we managed to get around because they're not legs, but they've been shaving their femininity. I mean, is it really a... Well, I mean, this is probably a very problematic area that I'm going to discuss now, but much as we are trying to grow meat in a lab that we can feel okay about eating. I mean, would the idea of growing legs in a lab that you can feel okay about

purving on? Is that something that is likely to be in our future? But I guess you're suggesting that we could do it with all body parts. I mean, I wasn't going to go that far just because I think keeping it. But I mean, could you recreate most of a human in a lab and then just for the sole purposes of purving it? Yeah. And maybe you could put a real doll faceving it. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe you could put like a real doll face on it. I mean, yeah, that's getting, that's getting like to me, that's a little creepier than what

I was hoping for, because I, you know, I think I was hoping that I could find a little loophole where I could just stick to the humorous nature of just growing a sexy leg in a lab to pervade without having to make it too humanoid. I guess you weren't picturing a sweaty desperate man having sex with some human meat grown in a lab. No, I wasn't. It was just for looking at and going, ooh, and it's fine. It's fine because there's no, it's not a...

Because I mean, the problem there is that you realize that the future of sex robots is sex cyborgs that are partially human. Yeah, You're right. Of course you're right. Yes, that they will have, you know. Everything that sort of has the bits of a human, and then you'll leave out some... You kind of just remove the human brain. You've got some submissive like Frog computer mind

Frog brain exactly I mean, but it's like an enhanced frog brain Well isn't enhanced or is it just pure frog brain? right and it could be pure frog brain But then it'll it'll but that comes with it's absolutely absolutely. It's it'll, it'll, it'll, but that comes with a problem. It does, absolutely. Absolutely. It's, you know, it's aquatic semi aquatic lifestyle. It's spawning practices. Sure. Sure, yeah, yeah.

Do frogs live in mud? Is that just toads? I'm thinking of toads. I think, I think some frogs live in mud. Absolutely. And I think you'll find that the distinction between frog and toad is not a very well drawn line. I think...

Must be like the difference between a moth and a butterfly. Apparently that's quite a fuzzy line as well. Well, especially on the moth side, because there... I think it's quite fuzzy little guys, aren't they? Yeah, but apparently that's also a trait of a lot of butterflies, which is why it's so difficult to tell them apart. Right, well there you go, very good. How do you feel about going into a cocoon, turning basically into mush and then emerging as an utterly unrecognizable creature? Yeah, I know, but where am I heading? Where am I heading?

You know what direction am I doing this for? Is it for a great improvement? You know my or my just then gonna get wings and then go and eat some tree bark for a bit. I think, I don't think you want, yeah, I don't think we would want to become a, a butterfly, but I'm interested in, you know, maybe, like, I think what would, if we are the larval stage of something, you know, I don't think if you showed somebody a caterpillar and asked them to guess what it was going to turn into, they would guess a butterfly if they didn't know any of the other details, any of the context. But so if the humans are the level stage of something, what we would turn into would be a very sort of unrecognizable beast. Yeah. I mean, I guess if you were asked what a caterpillar would

turn into, would you think you'd say a snake? Yeah, probably. That seems like much more plausible. Or a millipede. Yeah, like that. You kind of look like a mag, like the magnet of a millipede. So a human could well turn into, I mean, we never think about, yeah, it's crazy that maggots turn in. I mean, it's so weird that how does a maggot turn into a fly? What's that?

Because they don't even have a cocoon or anything. They just, they just do it. Maybe it's just like a sleeping bag that they're in. Right. A little sort of, like a little meaty sleeping bag. And the fly's kind of in there. It's just stayed there, it's just kind of wiggles. It's just trapped.

Like, I mean, you would move like that if you were inside a big white sleeping bag. Yeah. You know, I think that must be, because I mean, that's a pretty big metamorphosis as well, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it a pretty big metamorphosis as well. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's it's a Metamorphosis like the most common way of growing. I Statistically, we just think of it making you could very well be right because there are so many species of

Insects and they all do it don't they they all bloody do it. Hmm Because I remember Brian's Listener of the show and friend Brian once mentioning or sharing an article with us showing us that apparently the way that maggots jump, which is this kind of weird like wormy jumping style is probably the most common type of jumping in the animal kingdom. Right. Yeah. And and then you go, well, that's fuck. Firstly, I didn't know

that maggots could jump in some way. But it's like, I guess it's where you kind of point your two ends towards the ground and then you slam your body. Yeah, and you flick yourself up. Because you can live a little bit of air. Yeah. I mean, what meaning does that have if there's a, if there's a caught most common way of jumping? Does that mean that we are jumping wrong? I mean, in a way, well, it doesn't feel like we're jumping right.

Then what would it look like to see a human attempt this, this kind of maggot jump? I mean, I don't know what the stats are, but maybe maggots can get a very impressive amount of, I mean, it's probably one of those things where like relative to their body, they travel so much further than a human is capable of doing, right? Because like, can't imagine that they're like relative to their body, they travel so much further than a human is capable of doing, right? Because they can't imagine that they're doing it to get relatively the same amount of lift that we do. Do you think that wouldn't be enough for them? I think that would be good for their purposes. So I'm wondering if we should be looking into harnessing the maggot jump,

because you look at something like the high jump at the Olympics. There's a, the Fosby flop came along and totally revolutionized that whole game. But since then, I imagine like it's been only incremental gains. You come along with the maggot jump. The flop is pretty close to a maggot jump. The Fosbee flop.

It's like a regular human jump that's then turned into a maggot jump. Yeah, well I'm saying go full maggot jump. Okay. You watch me at the Olympics. I go up, I just lie down in front of the, in front of the bar, everybody's wondering what the fuck is going on here. No run up, then I sort of draw my body up into an arch,

and then I smash my draw my body up into an arch, and then I smash my face onto the ground. Oh, you just go face. Yeah, and that licks me. You sort of like, you give it one big hump. It licks me off. And over I go, you know, leaving skin and blood everywhere, but I've gone four meters in the air and that's

now the sport. From then on, nobody's going to be doing anything different if you want to be taken seriously. I think, yeah, I mean, you've got to take advantage of the springiness of the flesh. That's what you're doing, right? And I think that what needs to happen is you're probably pointing your toes and pointing your fingers and you're giving yourself as much of an arc as you can laying on the ground. And then you've got to hit the ground with the rest of your body coming down. So you're curling yourself like a croissant. Oh, absolutely. Right? But it's like that. And then you're curling yourself like a croissant. No, absolutely. Right, but it's like that.

And then you're smashing so much into the ground that I think you have to break your pelvis because it's some of that rigidness that stops the maggot jump from being able to really gain its full potential. Absolutely. But. And then you bounce.

Once you've freed yourself of the prison of the pelvis, I think I wonder how much time people in these sports like this spend wondering if there's a totally different way of approaching the sport. Because, you know, that... Within the rules, yeah. That is like the, you know, the computer that played go in whatever that was, that story. And it turns out that everyone has ever been playing go, has sort of been playing it wrong. And the computer was found a way to win

that was just like, no one had ever thought of. I reckon there is that with every single sport and that if you didn't know anything about the sport or you ignored everything about the way it's been played up until now, you could find a different way of playing it that would utterly change everything. Like for example, soccer has anybody thought about picking up the ball with their hands and then getting into a car and driving or biting the ball with their mouth and sprinting.

I have interested in that.. I have interested in that. I have very interested in that. If you had a large beak like a pelican, you could absolutely do that. But there's also nothing saying that you're not allowed to file your teeth down and push them forward. Correct. So that they kind of are a bit more like like tasks and in some way that maybe you could scoop them up like a sort of like a forklift or scoop up the ball like a forklift or also you know no there are no sports teams tonight you know I know this is a sort of thing that we've talked about before,

but there are no sports teams because they always talk about, it's a long game. We're building up our squad. We've made some good draft picks, but these guys, they're not going to be at the top of the game for several years. Nobody is playing the super long game of like, well, we're going to try and make our players evolve, you know, by via natural selection to have large beaks like a pelican. And sure, there's going

to be a few lean years, but I think the fans, if they stick with us, we're looking at having a football player who can hold the ball in their beak within 10,000 years. If your team is doing really poorly, then you get an early draft pick, and you can pick the players who's physical features, best match, those of a bird or... And you're not interested necessarily in how well they've played at the junior leagues or anything like that. You're just going up there with a tape measure and you're measuring those lips and that jaw. That's right. Then, I mean, it does seem like you're going to have to make your players breed against each other, well, with each other.

Yeah, or at least with each other's family police. Which, I mean, if we were in a mix like this is one of the shames of sport, not being more mixed sports, but you can't breed within your team to improve. Well, I think, I mean, why are you not just aiming to create, you know, if you're pushing yourself in one evolutionary direction, why are you not pushing yourself towards sort of also male baby carrying? Correct. So that you can breed a team without having to change the rules. That's the real investment, isn't it? You know, because if you're like, well, let's hope that they change the rules so that there's mixed teams. Well, now

that's a whole different angle you're taking you may as well go for, you know, and you could create a player that could also maybe breed asexually with itself. Yes, seize the means of reproduction. That is our plan. Because then you could get all five people on the court or whatever you're sport you're playing on the field that are all the same player. Well, then I wonder, you know, you might be able to find a loophole that you can actually have as many organisms on the sport on the field as you want if they're still considered only the one person. You know, you look at those trees that grow in, you know, there are some like cops as

of trees that they're like, well, this is technically all the one tree and it's thousands and thousands of years old. They're sort of connected through root systems and links and that sort of thing. Has anybody looked at the idea of grafting together players with a very long, flexible, fleshy tube so that technically they're just one person and then you can get more people on the pitch that way. And, or, if you could have a player who can reproduce asexually by splitting their body in half like a bacteria, I think that's a good loophole as well. Because you only send on one player, but pretty soon they start dividing and dividing and

dividing like a bacteria in a petri dish. You know, we're talking exponentially speaking, you're going to have hundreds of thousands of players by the end of the game. By the end of that half. Is this anything? I mean, look, I think I think it's something, I mean, is it all kind of variations on maggot jump at the Olympics? I think it is. It's a group of people who are studying the animal kingdom for ways in which we can improve in sports. And also studying the rules of the game to take advantage of things that they didn't think of. Exactly. You know, you've got to, you've got the laws of nature,

and then you've got the rules of the game, and sometimes you can find a loophole in one that allows you to win at the other. And that's all I'm interested in. Well, we didn't get around to thinking about what the humans would metamorphosize into. Yeah, I was wondering if maybe it would be like a cow. You think? I don't know. It seems different enough to a human that you would never, like, you would

never guess it going there. But... Yeah. Hmm. I mean, is there a particular direction that these creatures often go into? It feels like you reach a higher state. I mean, Carol may be a higher state. Yeah.

I mean, flight does seem to be the big thing, doesn't it? Although ants don't, you know, they start just out as a little wormy grub and then they turn into it, you know, the ants that we all know and love without necessarily the ability to fly. So it's probably. Well, a lot of them do fly as well, but. winged hands. It's a really good point. What would a human become? I mean, just what other things are there other than flight? I guess there's this, the tadpole to the frog thing, which feels like a pretty close to some kind of metamorphosis. So it's like pretty close to some kind of metamorphosis that you're getting. Where you kind of get your gained legs

and you gain shape. And I mean, it kind of feels like that's a lot of the stuff that we do in utero. Yeah. You know, we go from that kind of like weird tadpole looking thing into something with features. They're just doing it outside and everything. Yeah, where everyone can see.

It's very, very exposed, very awkward and transparent. Very transparent. Kind of thing. You always look a little bit weird during puberty. I don't like, I mean, we could go into the ocean and become like a shark or something like that, I suppose. Yeah, or you could sort of develop ab-sailing equipment. Okay. You know, sort of net.

You know, as ropes, you think maybe you could get ropes that just kind of earn your back, you know, that are just that coiled around your shoulders. Well, there's quite a spider-man transformation that we're looking in here. I mean, if spider-man was just carrying around big coils of rope, but you know that it would be a different kind of... You know, like in the cartoons, because we're thinking of the the Toby McGuire Spider-Man,

right? That's what you're thinking of, where he just shoots stuff out of his wrists, okay. But in the cartoons, he makes little robotic things that are attached to his wrist and then shoot stuff out, right? So that's basic. Yeah, as far as I remember, that he would kind of like bioengineered some kind of thing,

like a chemical that would turn into this web stuff, which to me seemed like a huge leap, bigger even than the leap that he would make from those, was this ability to create a new material that allowed him to leap from building. And this stuff would just disintegrate and it wouldn't pollute the world. And in many ways, that's much more unlikely than him being bitten by a radioactive spider and being able to...

Yeah. I don't know, whatever the advantage that he got from that was. Like... Like, why they didn't just say he got the powers to spin webs, I mean. He's just extremely... Yeah, that's two things that shouldn't necessarily occur to the same person. Because most of his spider powers are not that spidery. Well, only crawling on walls is the spider sense isn't?

No. I can't imagine is that super strength doesn't feel like that's all that. Again, I don't think it's, I never look at a spider. I got that look strong. Yeah. You know, they should have just, they should have made a decision early just going, you know what, I know it's weird that he's gonna,

like that we're gonna let him just have the web spinning thing. I know it's gonna be weird that he's not gonna do it with his butt, right? And that he's gonna do it with his wrists, but let's just give, let's just, that part will be less weird than if he's also some weird chemical genius. Either that or instead of him being beaten by a spider, let's having be bitten by a radioactive material scientist Who gives him the ability to come up with very strong

You know state shifting polymers and And then that's the power and then the the spider stuff, we can just be like, Andy's strong or he works out. Or something like that. Because then that's actually quite,

that works quite well, doesn't it? Yeah. He's one of those guys who works out a lot. Like one of the material scientists, who's a guy who went to the gym a lot. You know? is that anything? Spider-Man bitten by a... radioactive research, you know?

I mean, look, there is something there, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think, I mean, it could be a scene in which... A story about content, is it? I mean, I think, I mean, it could be a scene in which... I mean, I think it would be interesting if Spider-Man encountered a person who was like Spider-Man, but had been bitten by a radioactive material scientist. Yes. And then his thing was that he couldn't walk on walls or climb walls, but he had just created a little suction cups. I mean, once you get to this point, you wonder, though, why didn't the material scientists

themselves come up with this stuff? Why did we need to include this being bitten by mechanism in order for the transfer of skills? I mean that, because... Yeah, well I think it's the trauma of getting bitten that makes you think that you can fix society's ills. You're right. Yeah. So that's, you know, it's really brain damage. And sort of an un, yeah, and, you know, that trauma, that unresolved trauma, that he's trying to fix things himself, but really the problem lies within. So his cryptonite would be sort of therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy to get over the stuff and what it's really about. Yeah. I guess so.

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Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. I don't know what you got. I mean, you think if Spider-Man had done movies, you know, in the comics, if he had done movies and become a huge part, like a hugely famous movie star, who could do all these stunts and things like that that no one else could, he could have then used that money to develop some kind of security force for the city or to, you know, if you really wanted to save people, doing it as one man doesn't seem like the most viable thing.

No, the logical path to this is achieve movie superstardom, earn lots and lots of money. And then trade up a private sort of paramilitary organization. Well, he could learn from Eric Prince, who was the Blackwater guy, I think, related to Betty Davis. The Trump appointees to the... Betsy Davis. Yeah, that's the education secretary, isn't she? Yeah, I think so. I think Eric Prince is related to her. He's on black water or whatever it's called now since they had all that bad press. And but Spider-Man's like, oh, so you can try to like privatize the military,

is the military, or you can create a private military, and that's a hugely profitable enterprise. You can send them in as federal agents into Portland or whatever. And hang on. I think what we've invented here is this just the green goblin? Is this just what he was doing? Is that what he was doing?

Like a private military contractor Is this just what he was doing? Is that what he was doing? Is that what he was doing? Like a private military contractor making these mech suits so that soldiers could do that kind of stuff? I think we're just too busy with the nemesis. That's right, so the nemesis. Spider-Man and him could work together. Are there any comic books?

I mean, this must be a nightmare for anybody who knows anything about any of the comic books. To listen to us talking this total crap and I apologize. But are there any who are movie stars? Who, you know, because I think it would be a great thing we're like, they're a movie star by day, but then by night they're a superhero. But then their story of them as a superhero gets turned into a movie and then they more addition and play themselves in the movie about themselves, but nobody knows that it's them. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. I think the Alan Moore comic book, what's though that one? The... Watchman? Watchman, I know I've read a prequel to it, and they're all kind of famous, like they're all kind of famous, like they're all kind

of famous, you know, but they're not really superheroes, most of them. They're kind of just crime fighting people, but they kind of have like a public profile and stuff like that. Yeah, they have an image, but they're not movie stars, which was the main point that I was trying to make for some reason. You're right. I don't know why I thought that would be good. All right, look, I've written about the radioactive material scientists. Yeah, okay, right.

But Andy, I think we need to go to, because we have at least five sketches here. So I think we need to go to our three words from a listener. Right. Yes. This is a listener. Right. Yes. This is a great bit of the show. And yeah, where, you know, somebody who's donating to our Patreon, $3 can suggest words, and we'll try and come up with a sketch to it.

And tonight's, and today's three word listener is, their name is also three words actually. Their name is the Tempest Marauder. The Tempest Marauder. That is a beautiful name. That is our listener. For a girl. I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know what Tempest or Marauder means. I think Marauder sounds like criminal or some sort. Well, a Tempest obviously is a conflagration, large weather event, storm is a tempest. And a marauder is one who marauds, obviously. And we're talking a sort of a violent and vicious person who sort of indiscriminately attacks and destroys villages, cities, you know,

I mean, it seems like a good description of our listeners. Yeah, this is a typical two-in-the-thing tank listener. Microcosm. And so the temperate marauders three words do you want to try and guess what one of this? Pippin Pippin Pippin like Scotty study Pippin Like Scotty Scotty Pippin oh It's not it

One of them is mega-lithic yeah, right The other one is spirit yep The other one is heist megalithic spirit heist now a Yeah, mega-lithic is that a big rock a mega-lith We're Is that a big rock? A Megolithic? Are we talking about a big rock? Well, I would say that Megolithic can either mean massive or monolithic, but it can also mean relating to or denoting prehistoric monuments made of

or containing large stones. Right. So yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Megolithic spirit heist. I mean, I'm interested in, you know, obviously stonehenge, as we all know, was the first computer, right?

And obviously as well, I mean, I don't know, Alistair. I'm using the word obviously liberally to cover up the fact that none of this is obvious. Libral to mean. But, you know, and obviously, computer is a very desirable for stealing, you know, that any kind of technology like that new technology is very tempting to burglars. So could you have a heist where people try and steal stonehenge? Because it's a highly valuable piece of information. They try to steal it. But when they touch it, their very spirit gets extracted from them, and it steals something from them.

And then they have to work hard to get that back. Right. I mean, a security system that steals the soul of the person trying to... I mean, look, to me, there's a good film format here in that it's the highest where you're deep in something, trying to steal something. And then while you're in there, something very core to you is stolen. And suddenly, your mission is just to get that back. It's a really compelling thing where like these people go on a big you know, do a team, does a big heist, but then and it's successful. But then after

big heist, but then and it's successful. But then after the heist, one of the members of the team starts to become convinced that their soul, like they got into this huge bank vault, right? Impossible mission into this bank vault. But then when they get out, this person becomes convinced that their soul got trapped in the vault and it sort of drives the man. Or in the diamond that they stole or the emerald that they stole. Yeah. Like they had to steal some crystal. And when they held it, something like cut deep into their into their self and they had

one of those kind of flashing screen things. Right. You know, and then they had to bring it to their boss, but I had to finish off the job so they could get them out. And then they were like, I think that that rock took my soul. And so then they have to try and get it back somehow. Yeah, it's very, perhaps very compelling. I'm sure this has been done. This is going back to my Stonehenge thing, but doing a sort of an Apple computer kind of

a sort of an Apple computer kind of Steve Jobs type thing. But with Stonehenge, we do it like a profile on the paleolithic Steve Jobs of Stonehenge, the person who created that and how the personality cult around them and the design decisions that they made, the company and their company and all that stuff. I just don't understand in what way it's a computer. In what way is Stonehenge a computer? People have described it as being that because what it does is it allows you to work out various things based on the location of different stars and the moon and the sun or whatever relative to the rocks. So it has that kind of, that functionality of,

yeah, yeah, okay. And then you could do some fucking parody shit, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. You and me, we used that Steve Jobs talk. We've used that Steve Jobs talk in about two or three things in the past. And I don't know if anybody ever recognizes that other than us wearing Turtle Necks. Yeah, well, I think we've used a very specific reference to one of Steve Jobs's talks. The iPhone being not three things but one thing.

But I think more generally, his persona, as that thing, I mean, I realized I'm not, it's a little off the boil ever since he died several years ago, and even before then, had been doing that thing for so long, it had been so much that it wasn't very relevant anymore. But I still think that by combining it with the even more off-the-boil element of ancient stone circle computer gags, we might be able to create something new and exciting. That'll really get people talking.

Yep, all right. We'll have written a down. Thank you. So I'll take us through. So thank you very much. The Tempest Marauder. For that. I think that highest thing where it steals your soul. I think there's something in there. At the moment that yeah that one's not it's not such a comedy idea for me at the moment but it could be it could be.

My gosh Andy it's it's pregnant with comedy. It just doesn't sound like it right now, but I mean, it's a whole film. So there's bound to be, like in a whole film, even serious films have moments of levity. No, Andy. Are there people who've touched on scripts for tragedy? You know how like, it holy people, when they've got a comedy script

and it goes to some testings and then to not getting enough laughs, you get in some top comedians and they come up with funny jokes, can be shouted in from off screen or things that can be really short. We've talked about this before on the podcast, but what about with a tragedy?

What about with a, I don't know, I hate to go to this example, but a shindless list where Spielberg shows it at the screening. And but people aren't quite crying. And so they get some real tragic people in, people with really bad lives who come up with more depressing stuff that could happen. And extra sad little tidbits that can be shouted in from off screen when characters are

looking in the other direction. And I just lost $5. You know? I think there's actually Louis CK talked about one of those things where he said it was just like he thought that somebody had told Spielberg about that little girl that just screams out to the line of people going into concentration camps. Good bye, Jews! Yes!

Good bye, Jews like that. And he was like, oh, it's like somebody told him that and he was like, that's going into the movie. Like that's just so heart-wrenching and kind of awful. And there you go. Oh, yeah, somebody's just punching up with tragedy. This film. And that's what that would be, the truly kind of like awful,

the weird, awful thing of like thing of listening to these people's stories and you hear something really bad. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Can I use that? Can I use that? You're going to use that? Yeah.

You're going to have to tell me that. So that's the punch down crew. And these are all sort of like real, they all speak with sort of middle European accents and they've all got really tragic lives and you call them in and these are the best in the business and they will make you all. They've all got some kind of eyes and just like yeah. They spend a lot of time staring off into the distance. Yeah.

Yeah, but it's like it's a riders room table like it's like around the table throwing things in. But there's a lot more silence. What if the food was called? Yeah, it's really good. was called. The boy finds a mouse and his father sees him playing with the mouse and forces him to eat the mouse or eats the mouse. His father tells him that when he was young, he used to have a mouse and the mouse had a name and that he had to eat the mouse and that the mouse had been his only friend. And they all shout this in from off screen while they're walking away. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And let's look at the real shot. That's just what we got to have to do. You know, it's like, yeah, while the shot of the kid walking away, we could say if his dad would be shouting it from the window. I had a mouse. Well, people have been saying that the mouse had a new bit of the movie was it did feel a little light. We did let the colloying atmosphere of tragedy lift for a moment. So I guess we could throw that in. Get the dad back for some video recording. Just yell, yell tragedy. I guess you know a lot of yell tragedy is just sort of wailing. You're right screams. All right Andy I'm going to take us through our

sketch ideas for today. We got the male milkers. These are people, these are the group of reddit guys. It's a subculture. They become, you know, there's a subculture and there's probably a group and, you know, a sort of a version in each town. Oh, really? They get together. Yeah.

Shit tips. It starts online, but then they start meeting. You know, it kind of becomes a bit of a men's shit kind of thing. Yeah, it's just a great way for men to talk, but then also to To extract milk from their own nipples. I Got something to get a much of how much how much men would love to Work on their own types of breast pumps that they would just tinker away at finding ones that extract more milk quicker and stimulates. This one is actually designed for Jersey cows. They say it's not for human use, but you can override it and build a little suction adapter. Then we got the knife with the extra blood in it, and these are all preloaded weapons basically

that allow for more impact when you hit and makes it for the showmanship of the stabber or the bazooka. We've got the Frogman leg island, which is like a Jurassic Park style thing, where they were growing human legs for some reason. Well, leg replacements, right? Or maybe to objectify them. For leg replacements.

Maybe to objectify them. We could combine those things. Well, I'm not sure. Yeah, it could be for leg replacements for people who are unhappy with their height. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

And, but then they all escaped. These frogs and they, with the human legs and they, I think maybe some person, we didn't think we got to this when we were talking about it, was a bit, you know, maybe they abandoned the project, but some opportunistic person thought, I'm going to go back to this island and I'm going to make this a maggot jump at the Olympics. Yeah, which is somebody who realizes that the maggot jump is the most common type of jumping in the world and a better form of jumping and they take it to the Olympics where they yeah, train their squad, which is what they call smashing their pelvis

against the ground. Turning their squad in order to, yeah. Nice. That's maybe you could use the power of your sperm to fly, you know, they're normally made for swimming through water, you know, or fluid of some sort, but if you could adapt them for the air. I mean, this is a lot to think about, Alistair, but if they are all capable of swimming, say you could, we find out that somebody's been doing this at the Olympics, and there's actually no rule against it, but what they've done is every single one of their sperm, they've lashed to the inside of their penis with a very small cable. I had just

where they leap into the pool in the swimming, they ejaculate and they actually get pulled along by their swimming sperm. And you don't, it's just, you know, it's just a small boost. It's, you know, it's a fraction of a percent, but that makes a huge difference. All those things help, yeah, because they had been bitten by a radioactive material scientist, and they'd created tiny ropes, you know, tiny sort of like one of the things you used to control, horse. Of rain, yeah. Rain, they'd created tiny sort of, you know, biopolymer rains that could go around, around the sperm attached to their various bits.

And have the sperm pull them along, of course. It all makes sense. And then there's also the sub-idea here of people who have evolved, try to work towards evolving towards taking advantage of rules of sports, such as developing tusks so that you can carry the soccer ball around on your head or other ideas. Then we've got the person bit by a radioactive material scientist. It's basically exactly Spider-Man, but he's just gone at it from the other end. He can, yeah, from the other end, he can create the webs. And then he somehow figures out ways of sticking to walls, probably also using material

science. Maybe he was already able to stick to walls because you know it turns out that Peter Parker was already very good at Developing things. So what if this guy already had the ability to climb up walls and then he the only extra thing he gets is the Scientific skills anyway Sure is the scientific skills. Anyway. Sure. And then we've got the highest. This is a straight comedy idea. It's the heist that steals your soul. It's because, look, your average person, when they go on a heist, they don't bring anything of value.

Yes. Other than their own life. That's a classic mistake that you learn not to do early in your heist degree. Don't bring anything that's more valuable than the thing that you're going to steal, especially if there's a chance that you're forgetting it while you're there. Exactly. So like a wallet filled with $300,000 or something like that. Right? And obviously they all know that they've got their lives.

Is that what the thing that they are bringing is probably more valuable than the thing they're taking? But, but often when they lose that, they don't have to live without it. Right? So, what happens in this case is somebody gets their soul taken from them, which they hadn't realized was something they were carrying around with them, probably because they were an atheist. Yes, correct.

And then they learn about the errors of their ways, and they have to go back and claim their soul from the gem or whatever they touched, that extracted their soul. And they have to go into some deeper world, some avalte even further down, possibly hell. Oh, yeah, that's good. I mean, hell-hiced. Imagine. Imagine.

We find out that the devil has a whole lot of gold. And we're gonna host Satan himself, you know. We're gonna hit the Bellagio, the other one, and Hades all in one night. Well, in one night. Yeah, it's the hottest vault of all. And then we've got the ancient stone circle Steve Jobs presentation. Yes.

I assume it's essentially the same, but he's what they're wearing a Hessian sack. But it's got a turtle neck. Yeah. It's got a turtle neck Hessian sack. The turtle neck has a goth that a B.H.E.E. Be the worst. Yeah, but we're committed. And then we got the punch down crew and then we got being pulled along in the water by sperm with little leashes

by sperm with little leashes thanks now great And he spent a pleasure Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing I have some ice bing bing bing

Come and get my eyes maybe if you want eyes. I like there. I like that And I want to really want that. I want that and I want that right we did it Please follow the link down below, download magma. We'd love that. Support us in other ways. If you want Patreon, leave a review on iTunes. God, that makes us happy.

And you can follow us on Twitter. I'm at Stupid Old Andy. We are at Two in Tank and Alistair. I'm at Alistair TV. Alistair did a really funny little video Check it out Yeah, it's a sketch it's a little sketch. Yeah, it's a little it's a tiny little sketch It's been my ideas that I've been like maybe I can come up with little sketches that I can film but myself Within five minutes. I thought it was gonna. I thought it was gonna get like a million retweets. I didn't. Look, it didn't.

It got retweeted by one person that had a million followers and it didn't help it in any way. It was amazing. It got less retweets than most things I've been doing recently. So that's pretty good. Pretty good. And we love it. And we love it. And we love it. amazing. It got less retweets than most things I've been doing recently. So that's pretty

good. Pretty good. And we love you. We're going to stop that wait. Oh, geez. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional, you have to do it. We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah. Yeah. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. fight students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu.