Two In The Think Tank - 247 - "INFINITE BISCUIT HEIST"

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

Get Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaAmniogenesis, Tofussy, Infinite Biscuit Heist, Custennis, Surface Bounce, Squiffy, Salt Water DivinerHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereProper good thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Today's episode and indeed this evening's episode of Two in the Think Tank is brought to you by Magma Magma the show by Andy and Alistair that was on at the comedy festival last year that we've now recorded in a television format. And that can be viewed for your viewing pleasure if you go to SOS Presents. The link is in the show notes below. This episode of Two in the Think Tank is brought to you by Magma.

Magma, that's what brought this thing to you. SOS Presents.com. Not just SOS presents.com. Not just SOS presents. Well, I will like. Yeah, all right. I said the links down below. Nobody's typing it in, Alistair. Nobody's listening to the podcast going, what was that? What do you say?

I'm typing it in right now. And then who, whoever finds the notes, who's looking, watching, listening to a thing on a computer and is like, ah, yes, the notes. What are you talking about? Easy to access notes. Absolutely, everybody. Absolutely, everybody. Everybody looks at the notes.

Write in, write in if you've ever clicked anything in the notes of anything. Send a screenshot of the notes. Well, everybody's just Googling it anyway. Nobody needed the dot com either way, right? Great. All right. Well, at least we started this on a positive note. Take a pot of pee. Put it in. Put a bit of pot of pee. Put a bit of pot of pee. Put a bit of pot of pee. Put a bit of pot of pee. Put a bit more stupid. I'm going to be a bit more stupid. Bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit.

Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the only podcast that is recorded in the dark, completely in the dark. That's right, because we, whilst we're not blind, and actually, if anything, we have an excellent vision. Yes, slightly above average. We, we like to remove one of our senses every episode.

And he's doing his in the dark. And I'm floating in a room temperature goo so that I can't feel anything. The goo of the womb. Speaking into a dangling microphone. Now, we know that there are men who like to get the colostrum, that first little bit of milk, ladies' milk, that should go to making a baby strong

and that men that like to get that for their bodybuilding, right? Is that real? Or is that something we came up with on the show? We'll never know. Are there also... No, I think that's real. Are there also men who like to catch the waters when the water's break of a pregnant woman?

Catch that in a bowl. Gather that water. And drink that water. They're necessarily drinking it, although maybe. Gather it up, and I was going to say, put it in a big tank. You know, you get the water of like 100 200 women put that in a big tank and then just floating it, you know Like yourself a little bit of worm juice and jet yourself that baby physics And then you could oh that babe that that baby wrinkle that new baby smell you dive down in there

You could maybe even breathe that in know, into your lungs if you want. I'm sure it's very high in oxygen for babies to be able to breathe it. I'm pretty sure that's what baby. So they really do, yeah. Do they, is that what they do or they just have it in their lungs? I think it just goes into their lungs, yeah. But the lungs must, must move, must operate, right? Because all the muscles that babies have have to sort of break themselves in, don't they? In the world. Yeah, the mom, the mom probably releases just a bit of oxygen. It's probably just an air tube that just bubbles into that water.

It's like an aquarium filter. It's just... It's got a being! It's carbonated. It's CO2 that's going in there. Yeah. It's co2 that's going in there. Yeah. And, anyway, these guys, I don't know why they do it, maybe for bodybuilding. Maybe it's a great way to stimulate innovation, because babies when they're first born are so able to quickly learn and Adapt to a new environment and you become that sort of like slate And I think maybe that's why that's what that these guys are doing now

You'll dive into that every morning. You just dive through the through the worm juice Emerge tell yourself off and it is like you're born and new and every day you're just ready to to seize it I guess yeah probably it to think like I think I think I think with I think with the colostrum it tends to they probably tend to use cow colostrum the more, okay. Yeah. Which is why it's like it's easier to get access to rather than just take the ones from out of a baby's mouth. From straight from a baby's, I think it's as easy as sort of scooping colostrum out

of a newborn's mouth. Have we talked about taking candy from a baby? How it's easy, but only physically? Like it's not morally easy, is it? It's not one of those things. No, but I mean, you can justify it by saying, well, you know, that's too much sugar for us. Oh, you're right.

Maybe it is guilt-free, then. Maybe that is all part of the ease. It's the fact that it's justifiable. But if it's already been the baby's mouth, and you know that they're always spewing up milk and things like that. But then you would, I mean, depends on what kind of candy. I mean, if that kit, that baby is munging out on a moron farm. You can just get a knife and slice off the bits he's touched.

Yeah, you're right. Man, that is so easy. You're not getting that far. He's not getting that far. Get yourself a potato peeler. Just take the outer layers off and then all that, what is that? Nougat that's in there? Nougat. Nougat are in the caramel. That's all yours, that's still good. Yeah, babies don't have teeth at this point. So they're... The cutting powder.

They get to the core, the juicy core of the mouth. To get to the good stuff. They're still stuck on the milk chocolate. Barely probably breaking through some outer, you know, it's probably a dim layer of wax or something like that anti-melting agent or something. And it's all they're getting. Bodybuilders like to get the Mars bar,

the baby's first Mars bar, because it is. You could take the saliva, the baby saliva off the Mars barn sell that to bodybuilders. They'll be like, wait, is this cow saliva? And you can know they go forget it. I want the saliva of a cat. There's nothing, there's nothing you can remove from that you that you can steal from a baby cow that you can't sell to a bobby body builder or a bobby builder or a bobby

Who trains the the best British car? That's right Alistair before you know when I said that I was this podcast is recorded in the dark I'm not I'm not I'm not lying. I am actually, it is, I am in a dark room sitting in front of a wood fire. So this is a wood fired podcast. Grain fed. I think mine's a gas. Maybe mines are like a gas heat pump.

Oh, that's fired. That's good. Now we're podcasting with gas. Gas. The official fossil fuel of the two in the Think Tank podcast. It's a transition fuel, Andy. You're right. Do you think, do you think there's anything

in these bodybuilders like getting the water from the bathing? And I mean, when you were talking about the brains and infecting, you know, like they're doing it, it felt like maybe something about the creativity of babies, learning ability of babies. It felt like, you know, these are your body builders who are not ignoring the brain. That's also a muscle that you need to build.

Yeah, you're right. I'm sure we can find bodybuilders who have said that. Often bodybuilders skip brain day. You know, it's quite a common, yeah, common trope. Let's just say in bodybuilder, of the trope, let's just say in bodybuilder. Never skip brain day. Well, they do, but they should. They shouldn't, yeah. And if they do, maybe they what they need

is a little bit of cow waters, cow worm juice. I think that's something, Alistair. Yeah, but I also think, the way I was framed yet is not being about bodybuilders, but about, you know, high powered business people who do this as a way to be born a new every single day. Or maybe some kind of retreat where you can go and they do have a, like a spa that is full of like a spa that is full of the amniotic fluid of. Andy, why do that when you could just build, when you could just genetically engineer a

cat? Yes. To be big enough. Yes. Then you could slip. And apart from my language here, but you could slip almost an entire businessman directly into its pudding. And wear that cow like a sleeping bag. And just sleep there with just the hand just sticking out the back there. Yeah. Maybe a little bit too close to the

ainess for comfort for a lot of people. But, well, I mean, this... A high-powered businessman knows that that's where a lot of the strength comes from. This, I mean, it sounds like we're sort of offering the Ace Ventura 2 and Nature Calls rhinoceros butt birth as a... As now is some kind of a healing, spiritual experience, but with an actual cow, and you can be pulled out, kicking and screaming and squirming out of it and I hope I'm using the term correctly here, cow pussy. I mean, I apologize that the simple stuff like that really gets me still. It's, I mean, I, there's a real urge within me to find a way to do this without it bothering the cow anyway. And I feel like it needs to be that it just needs to be a really big cow. Yeah, I think that, I think, you know, by making the cow as big as possible, per unit volume,

the cow will be bothered the least. And I think that's how you calculate the scientific unit of bother. It's bothered per meter cubed. I think all sensation from that area has to be gone. I mean, this feels very invasive for the cow. Yeah, it's hard to defend, but maybe it could just be crotted a lab. I don't know. Yeah. Do you think without an actual cow, like without a personality and all that stuff?

Yeah, I guess. I mean, you know, I suppose you're comfortable with that. It's not ideal for the businessman, but I think it feels more right. Yeah. I mean, if you can grow, if you can grow cow meat, yes. Then these bits feel like it's mostly just meat and broth. Well, you know, if we are evolved to the point where we don't need to eat animals to survive, then I think we're also at the point where we don't have to actually climb inside their birth canals to survive as well, you know if we can do it. To be reborn daily. Yeah, um, you know, I mean maybe it could be an enormous tofu birth canal

pussy Tofu see it's yes Tofu-si. It's... Yes. These vegetarians try to recreate human body parts all the time. We have. We know you, but animal parts. We're taking the flesh out of flesh light, which has always made me uncomfortable. And it's the first Tofu flesh light.

And... Tofu fleshlight. And... ...toe fleshlight. Yeah. But also the idea of recreating a vegan tofu that's flavored, like it's like a fake. So that you can ethically sort of, I guess, go down. So flussy. I don't know what this is, Amy. But it feels like it's close to almost being a job. Yeah, I think it absolutely is.

It absolutely is. It's not a joke we would ever make, Alistair. We're above this kind of thing. But look, I can make it more logical. I think if, with how bad many men are at Kanalingas, right? Often the only ethical way for them to perform it is until foosie. Because they're so bad that it comes. It's such a bad experience for women. You want to cease the suffering of living beings? Yes, oh, that is very good.

Very good. OK. So it's for the feminist vegan male who knows that he's bad in bed. Yeah, great. I'm really looking forward to performing that one live on stage. Yeah, well, it's just soy boy again, but now with the word to a pussy. Yeah, great. Is that the only thing we've written down so far? We've also got Amnionic Zachary Berthin for High Power.

Great. Yeah, fantastic. And there are two very distinct ideas, very distinct ideas with a very specific area, but interpreting it in completely fresh and interesting ways. Yeah, I feel like in I can stand behind you while you perform at hiding. So you're going to stand behind you while I perform it in hiding? Yeah, that's right. I think we'll all be in hiding. I think we are in hiding. I picked a flower today in my backyard.

Yes. And when I looked at it, it looked like a tiny, very tiny orchid of some sort. Yeah. And then I couldn't find any more plants like it. I think it was the last one. I thought I might have just wiped out a very rare species of tiny orchid. So it was beautiful and delicate and fragile. It was beautiful.

I couldn't imagine how beautiful it was. And then suddenly I was like, well, there better be more of these. Yeah. Because this is so delicate and fragile, Helen. Could it be the first of a new species as well, which, you know, those must be popping up all the time and failing, so that's fine. And as we've established on a previous podcast, actually killing the exact last of a species is also fine.

It's merciful. It's merciful. It's actually the right thing to do. So I think you're probably off the hook, although I guess plants don't reproduce in exactly the same way as animals. Maybe it could have continued somehow, were it not? I mean, if the last one was in your backyard in suburban Melbourne, it Probably wasn't in a great place anyway for its long term survival. Oh, you don't know this.

I've, you know, I've got a full almost, it's all clay, it's just clay and little rocks, right? My back here. But somehow we've started cultivating moss and I really like this. Moss. I got a little mossy ecosystem out in one corner and it's the nicest part of the yard.

But you can't really do much with moss, you can't go on it or anything because it's so fragile, isn't it? You just destroy it instantly. I've walked on moss. Is moss that fragile? I think moss is a good alternative to long. I don't believe that that is the case, Alistair. I think if you walked on it even, you know, twice or something like that, it's not it's not hard wearing at all. It's, I think that there are probably grasses that are like that and we had to find hard wearing grasses in order to have these lawns that we all have today. And that's why I'm suggesting that there is probably a moss out there that can handle the wear and tan that is required. You think that there could be like a, we could develop a new kind of moss, and we could develop

like a sports moss that is actually graded for use on cricket pictures. And that's all right. This moss is so hard wearing that you can play tennis on it at Wimbledon. And it's actually tougher than Astro Turf, this moss, and it's so soft as well. I think moss also grows very interestingly. I think it's like, it's a completely different type

of creature, it's not like from seed and then I think they kind of replicate from each part. You know, sort of like if you imagine like a, like let's say a biscuit that is a magic basket. And if every time you take a bite from it, a big gross back. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But if you crumble it in your hand, each crumb a new biscuit grows back from it. That's good. Like that. I mean, actually, it sounds a little like a curse. It is absolutely a curse because then suddenly you've got to lock up these biscuits

so that nobody crumbles them ever. What happens if you eat the biscuit? Does it turn into infinity biscuits in your digestive system? Yeah, you can just blow it. Essentially, you explode, yeah. Yeah, wow. And then all those bits of biscuits

Shatter on the ground and then become more biscuits and how long do you think until the entire earth is destroyed Depends whether or not you know like the sort of the states and then the military because that what you know We're not you know what the military would do they would try and nuke the biscuit that is the last thing you want Right because then every less is divided into individual molecules. Yeah, unless when it goes from being, you know, in that nuclear blast, if it goes from being matter to energy, that might be the only thing that stops it from retaining any of its biscuit. Unless the magic is then applied to the energy, and then the energy turns into infinite biscuit energy. And then the universe is truly fucked. You get a biscuit shock wave.

They'd be a cookie jar. This is, this, there'd be have to be some kind of high security cookie jar, sort of like whatever the, whatever the cookie version of that, um, Perspect's prison that they put Magneto in, in, in the X-Men movie. Um, but this would be the high security cookie jar, um, you've ever seen. And then, you know, obviously, who took the cookie from the cookie jar would become? Well, this is what happens, right?

It's a high-st move. Yes. And these people get down to this thing and they're here to steal like a bag of diamonds ever. Yeah. You know, but then they see in this perfect thing, a biscuit. Yeah. Or cookie jar of some sort.

So the magic biscuit is being kept in a bank vault? Yeah, some kind of vault that these people have penetrated. And they're here to steal something else, but then they start, they start to take these biscuits with them, trying to see if it's got any value. Yeah, it must. And then they know a guy who can, they know a guy who can move rare stuff. They know a guy who can identify the providence of a biscuit.

Yeah, they go, well, if there's a biscuit down here, it's got to be the most valuable biscuit ever. I think it's probably like a nice Volvo that would belong to Mary Ant-20. That's a really good pairing of an individual and a biscuit. Thank you. You're really very quickly filtered through all the humans of history and found the one that was most spiritually akin to an ice bover. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, I mean, I can't imagine having a Scotch finger. No, she wouldn't. It's too tame. Unless she has like a can of whipped cream, you can see on it. Oh, well wouldn't. It's too tame. Unless she has like a can of whipped cream. Oh, well, yeah, you've made that very royal. Very, very I think that there's look I think that there's definitely a set of sketch slash film in the infinite biscuit house Great. Well, can I just bring us back then slightly to,

when I was talking about the moss being used, it wimmed in. It made, it did make me realize, of course, that there are only two major surfaces, that tennis, or maybe three major surfaces that tennis is played on. And that does overlook the, the bounty of surfaces that God has provided us with. And I do think it's a shame that there are no tennis fixtures played on mud. And concrete. Concrete? Sure. Sure. Custard?

Custard, actually. Alistair, yes. Now you're talking by language. Well, the other day I was stirring custard. And I was really having fun kind of moving fast and finding it difficult and moving slow and finding it easy. And using non-Newtonian properties of the custard. Yeah. Yeah, terrific. Well, I mean, you know, if it's not something we've already pitched on the show before, I think tennis played on Custard is a terrific idea.

I mean, it didn't... It absolutely... I think it would make the game more interesting, you know, because... Yeah. It would keep it... You'd have to keep moving, wouldn't you? Because at the moment, there's a lot of standing still in tennis. That's my understanding of tennis. Very static.

Yeah, but I mean, there is some standing still and that's where it would, you know, that's what we would remove. You'd get that out of there. None of this. Any down here. So you think it's on the like, the court is now just a, it's like a meter deep pool. Yes, of custard. Of citivary. Of custard. I wonder, you know, if things can bounce off it then, you know, if it's non-Newtonian, when the ball strikes the custard, will it bounce? It feels like it's fluid-like properties would definitely absorb a lot of it, a lot of that.

But I guess if you can run on it. This is kind of... That's an equal and opposite. Yeah. But is it all a flat? Can you bounce things on Na'anutonium fluids? It's a question. Well, this sort of it made me realize that the show, or the segment from the old Letterman Will

It Bounce, is sort of bouncing is, of course, a two, it takes two to bounce, doesn't it? Because you're not just, it's not just the thing that's bouncing, it's the surface that it's bouncing off, which is just as crucial. And we tend to think of bouncing being a property of the thing that is being bounced, but the surface is itself as much a part

of the bounce equation. And let's relaunch, will it bounce? But the thing that is dropped every week is exactly the same, but it's a different surface beneath that it's bouncing off. Probably won't be as spectacular. Yeah, it's interesting, but it's just as intellectually valid. No, absolutely. So we're just taking Letterman and turning him on his head.

Yes. And throwing him towards various surface. Right. We'll Letterman about it. I can't just watch. I think I just watched a video in which Bal may yes, a bouncy ball bounced on non-Newtonian fluid. So it can work. I believe so if it doesn't work with normal tennis balls, we

could move it. I've changed the ball to set it be a more rubbery bouncy ball. No, I refuse to change the ball. I don't want to damage the integrity of the game. I don't want to change the game I love. How dare you will it bounce That bounce I think he mostly did bowling balls and watermelons than me. Yeah mostly Time after time. I mean, I don't even know if I've ever even seen the segment or only heard it described to me by you Feels like that's where I get most of my knowledge of these kinds of things Anyway, is that is is that, is that, these all these years later?

Is that made it? Is it still talking about them? Is it still talking about them? Okay. Look, I'll write it down. Yes. It's because you're, because I'm so desperate for it.

Well, yeah. A pile of dead bodies, will. A pile of dead bodies. Yeah. What is that? That's whether or not a bowling ball will bounce off of a pile of dead bodies. Ha ha ha.

Great, yes, the corpse, corpse court. Now, can we play it? Because once you know that, you know if you can play tennis on it. So you know if you can play tennis. That's right, it's just the first round to finding out whether or not you can play tennis on things. Mm-hmm. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. Crowd surfing, I'll stare.

And yeah. I mean, that's just another surface, isn't it? Crowd surfing. And if there's crowd surfing, is there also crowd windsurfing? Is there also crowd yachting? And I guess any water sport. Any crowd. Crowd bodyboarding. And can you get a wave to crash? I guess would it be a Mexican wave? That's really cool, isn't it? I wonder, I reckon you could get a pretty good thing going. I don't think you'd want necessarily want hands, or maybe you'd do, what I think what I

would want is I want everyone in the crowd to be wearing greased up boxing gloves, really greasy boxing gloves, right? And to do a Mexican wave, and then I would try and surf that wave on a surfboard. And I think that would work. Right? I think a very packed stadium. Yep. A very packed stadium.

All the seats have been taken out. It's just people standing on each level. Very well packed together. And then you ride the crowd from the top down the bottom. They've all got to grease up the box and clothes. But then near the end, you know, there's that part where the just near where the court is or the field or whatever's down the bottom. And it goes up a little bit to stop people in the boundary to stop people from going up. That's more people that stand up and then that's your little ledge to be launched. I don't understand. So you travel down the stadiums where the seating is? Yeah, are they doing a wave as you travel down the stadiums, where they're seating. Are they doing a wave as you go down?

Yeah, but it's gravity that's really important. Yeah, so you're really just sliding at this point over there, boxing glove fists held high. Yeah, but they're all kind of, you know, they're also taking their hands away as you come. So you can, you know, so you're, you know, you just, it's extra falling. Yeah. You kind of, and then at the end, you just go up onto their, onto their, their gloves and you get long stuck into the middle of the, uh, onto

the, onto the stage or something. Or something where you're performing. Maybe. Yeah. Imagine any better doing that. But I, I'm more interested in if everybody's on a totally flat surface, right? Yeah. And they are, they're all the same height somehow, through shoe boosts or whatever. And then they all do a Mexican wave sort of that moves, right? And as the wave moves across this flat surface,

you can surf on the front of that wave, surely. Right? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It might be possible. Thank you. That's all I needed to hear. How are you picturing them surfing?

Are you seeing them on the board? seeing them just laying down on the screen? I was just pitching them laying down and just body surfing. Please surfing, sure. I think that would work as well. You are then essentially being punched. You are being punched around by boxing gloves on your body. That might be quite... I guess you're sliding across them as well, though, aren't you? by boxing gloves on your body. And that might be quite, I mean,

I guess you're sliding across them as well though, aren't you? Like, it's sort of like orbiting the earth and that you spin around and around the earth and you're always falling towards the earth, but you never hit it. And I think if you're constantly sliding off boxing gloves, you're never actually being punched So I think you'd be okay

Yeah, you ever crowdsurfed No, I don't think so. No, I don't think I have I think it's the sort of thing. No, I mean you seem like a real crowd I know but No, I know. But yeah. I mean, I would just get, I would, if it were all those, I'd just get a direction immediately. Just from the sheer volume of contact. Not of any of us has to be sexual,

but it only has to be a tiny little bit sexual and you're being touched so much that cumulatively, it very quickly would become the most erotic of all possible experiences. Well, I mean, it would be so taboo. Yeah. Yeah. To just, for this to be leading to something, you know, with everybody, that would just be... Well, with any kind of surfing, I think that you need that little keel to keep you steady

in the water. And I think the erection could... Could be the thing, but just... Could be the thing. Actually, what makes him such a good body, I mean, crown surgery. It's why he's so stable up there. Yeah. He brings his own fin. Is that anything else? I don't think that's anything. I don't think so. I wouldn't want a body, I mean, crowd surface sort of body down. I just I don't think I can write this down. Do you have to feel immediate change? Yeah. no, of course. I totally understand, Alistair. It's the sort of thing that you can only just say

out of your own voice onto a recorded medium. But as soon as you write it down in the impersonal form of handwriting, it becomes deeply, yeah, deeply shameful. And, yeah. No, yeah, don't do that to yourself, Al. Yeah. No, yeah, don't do that to yourself, Al. I think I just picture a couple of people that I know who listen to the pod and then I feel them being disappointed with me. Well, I guess you do have that ultimate deciding power of whether or not something gets written down.

And so I think you probably feel a little bit like a gatekeeper. And when you do write something down, that is your seal of approval. You're saying that I think this is a good idea. And basically, that would be you saying, I think this is a good idea. And Bayeson, that would be you saying, I think people should go at crowd surfing with erections. And I've been watching a lot of mixed martial arts recently. Alistair, I wonder how it's shaped to me because you've only brought it up on every podcast. Yeah, and I wonder whether or not you get erections

while you're fighting people. I think it's just too much contact. And it feels like there's just a lot of blood pumping around and it feels like it's, you know? Well, I wonder if you could just, because they also grab each other and squeeze each other a lot, don't they? So I wonder if it's a lot of gravity and squeeze the blood into the penis area in a sort of a non-sexual direction.

But like you would squeezing toothpaste through a tube, like could you just squeeze all the blood to that region? And then it... Of course. I reckon it could happen with a really strong hand shape Well the blood's got a guy somewhere doesn't it? Exactly, that's why I never give people too masculine a hand shape because I don't want them to immediately get unintentionally around that's fantastic. Anyway if anybody's a fighter of some sort a combat sport

artist let me know do people get do you guys get erections when you fight and is it just become a thing you're all like hey it's just what happens yeah you know yeah it happens to all of us. It's an exciting sport. I mean, these are the worries. I'm having these worries of like a 16 year old boy in high school who's like worried about having to carry his folder in front of his belly. Yeah.

Well, I have noticed that a lot of those UFC fighters do carry a folder. While they're fighting. They're fighting. And I always wanted what that was about and that does seem to be in front of their their waist a lot of the time especially when they get up in the chair at the end of a long class and I think I think that could be it can we turn this into a sketch else yeah I feel like there's a sketch I mean look did be a big audience for it because they

have such a big audience for, you know, mixed martial arts. Wow. Okay. Well, this could be, you know, maybe we could like the Beach Boys just decided they were going to be surfed rockers, even though none of, oh, only one of them surfed. Maybe we'll decide that we're going to become mixed martial arts comedians just because it's a good idea that we think we're huge. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think that because usually guys like this who are not, you know, tough in any way, we wouldn't fit into that kind of world. But by doing that brand of comedy, I think we could, you know, we could wish they all could be punches in the face. So wish they all could be punches in face. That's actually a beach boys theme to mix martial artists, comedian. I think the trainer, you know, somebody's starting out in mixed martial arts or whatever,

maybe they're coming over from a different genre of fighting. And their trainer straight away, one of the first things they teach them is it's all sort of early on on a lot of stuff just based around concealing erections and how to deal with it and that sort of thing in this fight it's like I don't think that's gonna be a problem when they're like no trust me this is this is the main challenge telling people the sense of some sort right he's telling them he's telling this group it's their first day like that and he talked about how serious it is he tells them the squeezing theory

right and then at the end people go whoa and he goes and he sees some other experienced guy they That's his truth, sure. Right, look at something. Stiff competition, Alistair. Oh. Stiff competition. How many sketch ideas have we written down? What do you like to know? I mean, how many, and then you can tell me how many you feel good about? Okay, one, two, three, four, five, six. We've got six written down.

Okay. And I feel good about all six. Yes. Especially my favorite, I think, is Willett Bounce, but change floor. Right. Willett Bounce, but change floor. Willett Bounce, but change floor well it that was but change floor will it bounce but change floor well our we got three words from a listener India you okay with me moving on to this yeah I'd really like that well and I don't know if you know this but we have people who support us on Patreon. God it is the most generous thing God can ever do. Angels on this earth and I think most of the more on this earth and this listener is relatively new you know within the sort of months old kind of scenario and their name is Julian Wales. Okay, double Julian. Hi Julian, thank you so much for supporting us on Patreon.

That's a really kind thing to do and I hope you enjoyed all the sexual and erection based material in today's episode. Yep, you did that. They asked with their three words that you guess, try to guess for each one. Okay. So you want to, they want you to guess three times. They, they obviously really like the guessing part. Look, someone's bound to. Okay, okay. They like the guessing part, but they like it too much. Yeah. Lombago.

No, but there's I like how many I mean look there's only one you in there but that was a you know it's not that far off how many user in this one. The first word is suburbia. Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, nape, nape, like the nape of the neck. Yeah. No, and I got to say your way also, especially in the, in the, the number of views that are in the second word. Because the second word is succulent. Okay. Is the third word succubus? No Andy, that's too close to succulent.

All right. But I do like the number of views you put in there because that's spot-off for what this third word has, which is surf and turf. So probably the most correct you've ever been in terms of the number of views. Thanks, thanks Al. Well, this, I mean, this of course makes me immediately think of how good the fish and chip shop is in my country town That I mean if I talked about that on the podcast before I know you've talked about it at one point I can imagine that we wouldn't that we wouldn't save a good bit of conversation

for For the part we would go let's not waste this Well, I mean it's it's you know, and I probably did talk about it, but like the, you know, the statistic is that the further you are away from the coast, normally the worse the fish and chips should be. That's just maths. But here we're quite a long way inland and it is terrific. And I don't know if that's maybe an indicator that there could be a vast underground reservoir of some kind, like an antigen base.

Or the ocean will be there soon. Well, the ocean is on its way or has only just receded relatively recently. Or there's an as yet undiscovered inland sea that people just haven't looked in that direction yet. But maybe we can, I mean, maybe the water diviner, how they can find fresh water with a stick that bends. You walk along in the steep bends towards it. Finds a new ocean. Very specific.

Well, if you want to find salt water, which I'm sure a lot of people do, all you have to do is drive along in a van, constantly making fresh batches of fish and chips, and sampling them to determine the quality. And as they improve in quality, you're approaching a body of salt water. And it's very useful for people looking for brine.

You need brine for, for pickling onions. Can's a tuna? For pickling onions, you need brine to pick. Do they pickle onions and brine? No, I like salty water. I don't know. Maybe not, maybe not onions. Maybe olives.

I'm sure olives are briny. I just assumed that all pickling involves vinegar. Yeah, but what about olives though? Do you reckon there's vinegar in olives? Because I think that it might just be salt. I don't know, but I guess are they pickled? Are they pickled or are they just jarred? Yeah, really good.

Really good distinction. You know, I don't know. So, I mean, look, Eddie, I think that that thing is interesting. It does feel like it could be a sketch idea. Thigh slappingly interesting. Absolutely. Shit, you're pretty right in there. I'm kind of writing down. Surf and turf. Water divining.

Salt water divining. Yeah, but yeah, no, look, I absolutely understand that. But I guess it's where it goes, you know, after, you know, I don't think the idea of finding salt water that way is the endpoint of this after, I don't think the idea of finding saltwater that way is the endpoint of this sketch. I think the fact that he finds one in land is very interesting. And I don't know if it's just underneath the country that the country finds out that the country is actually just floating.

You crack the surface of it like a crembrilet with the back of a spoon. That's what he does. He goes along and he leans down. He's got, he gets out his little silver spoon from his top pocket and he goes on the ground and... And now, under the ground, water. Salt water. Fresh salt water. Mmm, fresh salt water Fresh salt water

Quick bring the onions And maybe all in And then Because it's because they were Trapped they were lost right they'd fallen out of, or they're planed crashed, they were in the desert. And they had an abundance of everything, except for antipasto,

except for a little something to put on the plate on the table before the meal. They had so much food, so much water, but what they lacked was a little bowl of sort of dipping things and maybe some little little olives that just have something while you're waiting for the main course to arrive. And fortunately, they were able to use some of the abundant supplies of fish and chips that they had to follow this system and allow them to locate some brine. I see them as an oceanographer who's just doing this paper as like an April fool's joke

or something. Oh, yeah. You know, because they're like, well, it's something we all know intrinsically. But we may as well, you know, release this. You got a pair here, you have published your DAO, I like the things they may as well, just publish one. And then they realize that there's just this weird circle of really good fish and ship shops in land. Yeah, well, actually, you know,

you could do this just with data, harvest data off Google Maps. And, you know, look at the reviews if you could of different fish and chip shops in different locations, try and correlate them to any kind of like broader pattern. You know, this could all be done just digitally. We have all this data now. Nobody's using it in creative ways.

No, especially not to find any inland oceans. Right. So, you know, or underland. Hmm, that's the that's the inest of all the land, isn't it? It's in the land. Julian Wales, I hope you're happy. I'll elsewhere in your life because God knows this isn't going to help. I hope you've got other stuff going on. Thank you so much, Julian. That was a really great words and I enjoyed hearing them and guessing them and being wrong.

I'm going to get one of them one of these days. Oh, you're bound to. And you just, the statistics are a new solid. I feel like I was close today with those views. Yeah, definitely the closest. And you were very close to the previous word with the amount of views and the number of C's. Suckulent and succumbus. If only you hadn't just heard the word succulent.

Yeah, you're right. What have been better? Oh wait, you didn't have the same right amount of use. Did the succubus have three use? Suck you boss. Yeah, I think it does. Oh, you were wrong. You overshot it by one with Serfen turf. Um, oh well. Sorry, everyone. So it's back to complete failure. All right, I'm gonna take us to the sketches. We got amniotic sannic re-burthing for the high powered sea rice. And we have ceased the suffering of living beings with tofu-sieves. Then we got infinite biscuit heist. This is the biscuit that regenerates. Somebody who had wished for it with a genie.

Oh, yep. And then quickly discovered they were able to... Even before biting into it. Yeah. Even before biting into it, they immediately realized, wait, this is going to be a bad thing. Yeah. So they'd wish through a biscuit where wherever, where whenever it's broken, it forms, it reforms. Yeah.

I can see that you've wished. For whatever a bite's taken out of it, you know. Yeah. Probably a Tim Tam. Yeah. Well, it is the old classic never ending packet of Tim Tam's wish that turns out to be a curse. Does that turn out to be a curse? No, no, but it does here. But it would. It would be a curse if you accidentally tipped it upside down.

Yeah, you're right. And then they would fall out. And then as they fall, that would push up the packet, causing more to fall out until like blast blast off on a pile of Tim Tams and to out of space. Yeah. But think of all the added resources Earth would get. Yeah. Just from having all these Tim Tam's on land. Yeah. But they're gonna go bad. Yeah, I know, but we might be able to like, mine them for some-

We could go and use them as a fuel. Yeah. You're right. You're right. All right. Then we got, um, tennis on custard corp. And we got tennis on custard core. And we got Willet bounce, but change floor.

And we got the MMA squeezing theory of erection coach. And then we got the surf and turf saltwater diviner, fresh saltwater sketch. Before the episode, you were talking about the nature of consciousness. And I said, Alistair, save it. We'll talk about this on the podcast. This is fascinating. And then this is what we ended up talking about on the podcast.

It's season two, baby. It's season two. Uh-huh. Looking for to season three. Look, it's Season 2, baby. Season 2. Uh-huh. Looking for it to Season 3. It's going to be really good, I reckon. Yeah, so that's after the 400th episode. Uh, 400th?

I think so. I think we did 200 episodes that we started season 2. Okay, sure. I mean, I guess we better be consistent about this. 200 episodes of Let Me Start Season 2. Okay, sure. I mean, I guess we better be consistent about this. Yeah. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum No, but also they pay. You can always download by MacMouth of sosprisons.com. You can always follow us on Twitter or Instagram to obtain. You can listen to Shushar. I'm going to do a new episode soon, I think. Oh, that'd be great.

Yeah. Shushar guided meditations for those who don't know what that is. You can follow Andy at SuperDol.d. on Twitter. You can follow me at Alistair TV or at A.Tronlay Virtual on Instagram. And you can like us and get a little review on iTunes or Stitcher or... Alistair did a really, really great tweet recently that you should go and look at and read tweet What was it? No one about the bag? What's in the bag? What's in the bag? Well, Eddie? I appreciate you liking this my favorite thing I think I've ever seen on the internet really yeah

Well, I got another one in my mind, but it's about what's in my pocket? I really do that. Yeah. I can't even tell me, I mean, maybe we should talk about it. I don't want to spoil it for people who haven't seen your tweet. But the thing that's in the bag, did you have that thing and then you thought of the thing or did you make the thing that's in the bag specifically for the thing? I made the thing in the bag specifically for the bag. That makes it so much better. There's no sugar in it so it was terrible to eat.

That didn't bother putting on that sugar that needs. So you did eat it, did you? Well not very much. He's sampled it and you had a bad time. Yeah. Um still, I'm so proud of you. It's it's an absolutely incredible content. And I'm sure I'm proud of you. Thank you. You're constantly doing lovely and wonderful and hilarious tweets. Oh, thanks, El. It's been a while, but yeah, I'll take it. Don't worry, we're all slowly just giving up on everything.

So, yeah, that's why we meet anyway. Love. Love. You. You. See ya. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites.

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