Two In The Think Tank - 249 - "THE MARINARA TRENCH"

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

Conceptual Inverter, Who's Your Protozoan, Gaia VS Gaia, Marinara, Eating Your Way Up, 12 Prawn Cocktail Minimum, Blood Knife, Aunt Ant, God ParkGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereCold hard thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com get magma Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum You know sing along something like that some lesson or somewhere will be like We'll then use their musical skills in garage band and turn it into some sick beat and send it into you We've been doing one or two in every single episode Said at least since the start and not one can be can be edited into something that sounds good can be edited into something that sounds good. But in the way that you can paint with negative space, Alistair, we are by the end of the run of when to in the think tank finishes, the space left behind by all the non-music we've created will be the most beautiful song of all time.

And I don't know if you can put all music through some kind of conceptual inversion filter on audacity or Adobe audition, but if they have that processing ability, someone should really look into that because it's going to be a real whatever the opposite of an opus is, an opposite. So like conceptual inversion, so like if it's a, if you put a bird into it, it becomes a fish. Exactly.

That's if your artwork was a bird. Yes, yes, it would become an actual fish. That's if your artwork was a bird. Yes, it would become an actual fish. So you put in a painting of a bird, a thing that is not a real thing, but just a piece of art. And the opposite of that is a real thing. Ah, but further than that, it creates the opposite of the thing that is depicted, thus the opposite of a not real bird is a yes real fish. So if for some reason you missed your grandfather who passed away, Yes, you shove your grandma. You paint your grandma dead.

Yes, that's good. You do paint your grandma dead. Don't worry about having to explain that to her. Eric, what is that you do? Bigness. Oh, it's a painting in real funeral. Don't just don't look at it, grandma. Don't worry about it. I'm just doing something But but I am for just for your information. I am painting you very not sexy

Whoa, cuz you want your grandfather to come back really sexy Well, why not do him a favor? You know if you're dragging him back from the the realm of you know of the great beyond you might as well do a little bit of value Adding I know but I know that trouble you might be causing for your grandma who has been missing him for the last 25 years Right he's been gone a while. He's been gone a while. Super sexy. They hang out, they have that kiss where they're like, oh, I missed you and things like

that. She's a fair bit older than he is now. And then suddenly he's like pretty sexy and he realized he's being held back a fair bit by this wife that he once had, but also now he's gone through death and returned. Yeah. And getting a different perspective on things. Yeah. And so he starts playing the field a little bit, you know, bringing women home to the

house where his grandma, grandma is, and stuff like that. Yeah, okay. He calls her grandma now. He calls her grandma, because it was that kind of couple where they call each other, pa and ma. If it's sexy to call somebody daddy in bed, which I'm not saying it is, but if it is, then surely grandpa is even sexier. That's all I'm saying. Great granddad, I say, during sex, call me great

granddad. Who's your long lost ancestor? Who's the first to chimp to ever walk upright. That's right. I want you to call me a proto-sale, singles-celled proto-ancester. Who's the first non-living amino acids that came together to Amino acids that came together to form a single-celled organism capable of replicating itself. But anyway, who's your? Who's your non-living amino acids that came together? I mean this is gotta be something right is something Um, I think I think already the think already the conceptual inverter I think is something.

Wow. Okay. I mean, I'm interested to know why a conceptual inverter exists. Like, why we're trying to bring things into reality via a conceptual inverter? Well, I think that's a side. It's a side. It's like a side symptom of having made this thing, which was just somebody just trying to make like a bit of audio editing, but for visual art. You know, like a bit of audio editing but for visual art, like a bit of audio editing software for visual art. Or it could be that like, you know,

this is the sort of thing that would be developed by medical researchers, right? And they'd be like, okay, well, this is great. We've found a way to come up with antivenoms for snake bites. By literally you just put in the poison and it conceptually inverts it and spits out the antivitum, the cure. But then they accidentally put something else in there, realize it inverts anything. And then late one night a guy who's missing his granddad comes in with with a painting of his,

of a very not sexy dead grandma, and puts it in, because he's abusing the technology. Maybe he steals the machine at the risk of home. Where he lives alone with his grandma. Okay, great. Because he wants to help her, but that involves painting of really non-sexy dead version of her.

Yep. Um, um, and then I've also written down who's your long lost? Yeah, great. Because that's what we're doing there is where amplifying things in the bedroom, we're turning up the pillow talk to a 11 and a two. I wasn't going to say it wasn't going to say it because that was the thing. Well, because I was going to say it and then I felt bad. Because then you felt like it was just somebody else's line, it was just another thing.

It was just a thing that people say now. Once it was a bit of joke and a move. A very good bit of joke, absolutely, but I can't be doing that. Alistair, I presume I've got dad bod now. But what did I have before I had dad bod? Did I still have sun bod or just... Well, I think... Andy, what happened? Look, in the years that I've known your bod, I don't feel like it is fluctuated that much.

But I knew you before the term dad bod existed. So back then it was just a bod. You know, you were just a guy with a body and there was no category. Like before we were ever able to separate green from yellows, blues, right? Because we didn't have the word for the thing. We did have the word. It did not exist. It's like George Orwell's 1984 all over again, all over again. Because in that they try to remove, am I right? Is that that one? Well, they try to change the language

in order to stop people being able to even conceive of such ideas as rebellion and that sort of thing. They remove those words from the language. And so it is with dadboard. Before the word dadboard, dads just existed as an amorphous concept. I've used the word concept too much in this podcast, but they were an undefined haze of male personhood. And then if you put it through the conceptual inverter, it's actually Mother Spirit. Gaia. The opposite of dadboard is Gaia.

I think, well, what if there was a second Gaia, right? What if Earth had two Earth spirits? Okay. Okay. And then we're in a kind of a, like a two queens in a beehive kind of scenario. And they go at each other. Yeah. And all of them.

And all of them. One another, all over the earth. And like the orchids and the dandelions all have to pick sides. Exactly. Yes. They, they get the various beautiful and delicate things of the creatures of the field, birds of the air, pull them all together into possees basically, and then wail on each other, including

with whales. With whales, especially. Yeah. One's got sperm, the other one's got blue. And they just grab and buy that tail. How satisfying would it be to grab a whale by the tail? And just deeply satisfying. Where that, where the wide bit of the tail right at the end

is under your hand. So it's like a, you know, kind of like a reversed sword hilt. Mm, yep. You know, but at the bottom so that you can swing it and it stays clean in your head. I'm assuming that these guys are huge. If they didn't include this as a thing in Pacific Rim, they absolutely should have. Yeah. Right?

It wasn't that basically giant mechanical monsters coming out of the ocean and then fighting each other? Haven't seen it. But I think that's what it was. Yeah, I haven't seen the whole thing. I've seen the whole thing. Ever there was an excuse for somebody to swing a, swing a, a sperm whale. Hmm.

By the hilt. But there, where would the other guy be from? Would it just one has a new one is emerged? Yeah, well, I mean if we created one by accident or we accidentally cloned guy maybe And and then they match if there's a giant cave a giant subterranean cave somewhere in near the mantle that you can only access through some very important, you know, hole in the ground of some sort. Yeah. They have to go through some journey and the instructions to get there, you know, probably used to belong to some ancient, you know, I don't know,

Celtic tribe or something like that or something. Probably, yeah. Tie tribe or something. I'm trying to not make this about another culture, so that I don't make generalize it. Well, it could be encoded into our DNA. We could find the clues in it. It was probably in, but it was an oral tradition that was lost, but then somebody came across the cave

and you know, some caveors probably. Maybe... That sounds like a sp... A long cave. Maybe the caveors who saved the Thai, the Thai kids, the Thai soccer team. The one that Elon Musk called a pedophile. We could cast him in this movie. So he goes down into this cave and he finds,

there's like something in there that he does something with some ruin, accidentally drops a ruin into some, you know, whole. Crivis, yeah, and a whole within the whole. And it activates the thing that we would have known if we had kept the oral tradition going. And it creates a new guy, but that's normally only there for if guy dies. If you're first guy dies, yeah. But now we've got a second guy. No, we've got a second guy.

And you think they get along because they have so much in common, but you know what it's like when you have a thing and then someone comes along and they also have that thing and that you naturally hate them straight away. So it is with guys. There could only be one alpha guy. And then it is on. And it's very, the way they battle, it's very earthy,

it's very natural, but it's extremely violent. And it is using lots of nature stuff, lots of like uprooting trees and charging at each other. And trying to drown the other one in the ocean. Like in the ocean, like in the... You know, what's that big crevice that's really deep? The Mariana Trinch. Mariana.

Mariana. Mariana Trinch. That doesn't sound right. It would make more sense. It would make more sense. I would call it that, but I think it might be Mariana. No, you're right, but but if you were an Italian restaurant. Yes. And you had some giant some giant fee-shaped bowl of

spaghetti that was like, can you finish this bowl in an hour? It's called the Maranara Trench. barrenara trench. It's the deepest bowl of spaghetti and all of little Italy. Oh, that's so good. And the different layers of the bowl represent the different layers in the ocean. And the bottom of the bowl, you're eating these bizarre, anglifish and strange sort of sea worms that just like subsist there. A lot of sea creatures. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love it.

It's a cross section of marine life to the deepest point on earth, the marinara trench. But really all it is is just an eating competition, you know, eating challenge in an Italian restaurant in Little Italy. Yeah, yeah. Now what would you do? Would you eat, try and eat straight down, reach the bottom and then sort of eat out, or would,

I guess you just go lay out by layer. Yeah, because what are you gonna do? It's waste time doing some early drilling just so you can access the down low stuff. You gotta eat it all in the end anyway. If you want to have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your...

If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... If you wanna have your... Marinara trench down as a sketch idea of course of course yes, I'm so glad I'm so glad and so is everybody else Yeah, I mean because you got to eat your way down if you want to have your photo on the wall and you want to get the t-shirt I mean once we know that the Marinara trench is the deepest point on her now There must be bits in the Marinara trench that are deeper than others, right?

Now what you could do though, like say somebody goes down there down to the bottom and they say, I've been there now, I was the first one to go down, that's it done, I went to the deepest point on earth. You just go down with a little shovel or whatever on your submarine, dig it out a bit. Ch-ch-ch-ch. Nestle into that little divot, and then you're deeper.

Say sorry, no. I'm sorry, buddy. Sorry, buddy. I'm a sub-trech. I'm any marinara. I call it the Eric trench. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.

And it's deeper, by a good inch. So sorry. I don't know why I'll have that award. I don't know what what this was, but this was something that entered my mind. You know, this idea, because I think because we had a baby in the last six weeks or so maybe almost seven weeks and Shout out to Huxley if I've died and you're listening to this Shout out shout out to my boy And it's like, you know, it's 2040 and you're listening to this just shout out to Hux

I was very proud of you. And sorry that I didn't get to see your 20th birthday. And hi to Otis as well. But you got to spend a fair bit of time with me. So anyway. I, yeah, so this idea was because what's happened is that we've had this baby for a while, but we've forgotten to fill out all the paperwork Is that actually true? Yeah, that is actually true And so he's he's not like officially

Technically yours. He's not officially like I mean obviously if you give birth in the hospital He's he's on the's, he's on the grid, right? He's in the grid. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess somebody who tries, like somebody whose parents kept them off the grid, did a home birth.

Mm. And then tried to remain off the grid for the rest of their life, because maybe they felt that that was important. May it's important. I thought it was important. I mean, I assume for them to go through with that they thought it was important. Maybe they didn't.

I think if you got older and you're like, actually, this is a huge hassle, you could just go on back and go on to the grid. But I think there are some people who have found that very difficult. I think there are some situations where people for whatever reason weren't registered with birth certificates. And later on, turns out to be a huge nightmare for them.

Yeah, well, it would be. And also, then if you then become a person by according to the government, you're probably going to get your parents fined. You know, like, they're probably going to get in trouble. Yeah. And so then you're like, well, I don't want to get my parents in trouble, but I would love to be able to leave the country. the country. Everyone complains about certificates of participation. Oh, you get a certificate just for participating. Mate, you get a certificate just for being born. You haven't done, you haven't done shit. Oh, mate, that's kids these days. You haven't even done a shit yet. You haven't done a shit yet. What you've done is called a meuconium, a meconium.

That's just like this weird black tar stuff. And then people know the first shit is just, you know that bodybuilders, they love to get that first little shit, that, the meconium. Oh, bodybuilders, they love that first shit and they rub it all over their body body and their body because they love to do it.

And their bodies, if they're nice like that. Okay, so what about this is what the idea was, right? Yeah. It's these people who, their midlife, they're like, like sort of like born again Christians, but they're not Christians. They know a hacker and they've managed to find a way to go off the grid in the middle of their lives, right? But they've put a lot of ceremony around this and so they decide you have to get rid of

all your possessions. You can't be connected to anything. And you start completely naked, right? Yes. You don't have any bank accounts or any money. I like this. I think this actually sounds really good. Yeah, you don't have any money, right? You don't have any bank loans, generally money. I think this actually sounds really good. Yeah, you don't have any money, right?

You don't have a place of residence. You start again and you're in the city, right? Yeah, that's handy. And the best place to start getting clothes for free is to go to restaurants with eating competitions, like eating challenges, and beat it and get the t-shirt for everything. Okay.

And sure, at the beginning, that very first one is the hardest one where you have to get them to let you in completely naked. No shirt, no shoes, no pants, no socks, no identity, no money, but, but, but absolutely no service. But you just got to carry yourself in the way with the confidence of a guy who can, can eat sort of 3.5 kilos of steak in one sitting. can eat sort of 3.5 kilos of steak in one sitting. This is the perfect place to start because not only do you have a free t-shirt, so you can cover your upper body, the most disgusting half of the body.

But you also have a full stomach. What know? What a great place to start. That's right. Yeah, exactly. You know, when Terminator, when he appears in that dock area, teleports in through time, the Terminator, and then he goes into a bikey bar and he just steals somebody's bike and he probably had heard that there was some like eat 12 prawn cocktails and you get a pair of shorts for free. Well in the first draft of the movie, the Terminator. He went in there and there was an eating competition. And he ate lots of, lots of steak and he got a free t-shirt and then walked around the rest of them. So was it only wearing a t-shirt that says I ate 3.5 kilograms of steak at Marty's T-bone steakhouse.

And Baker bar. And Baker bar, and all I got was this Lazy T-shirt. But it was thought that the exposed genitals of the Terminator. Yeah. And also, instead of the chameleon. I think a lot of the chaste scenes, they're very different thoughts. Just super intense to watch.

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess they felt like the line, I need to enter your eating competition was less clean than I need your clothes. Is that anything? Yeah, well, I mean, this is all... Yeah, this is all there. It's all written.

I've got, I mean, I've got the off-the-grid new t-shirt. I can put in brackets. I love the idea, because obviously the Terminator robot had programmed into his programming. This sort of approach that like one of the first things you have to do is get closed and that sort of thing. So you can blend in. Of course. But I do, this program was written by computers in the future.

And they wouldn't have known all the details of how society worked. They would have had some historical references to go by. I think it's, you know, very possible that, you know, they would have been searching through digital records and they would have found evidence of free t-shirts being given out at eating competitions. And for whatever reason, because of the, you know, other files have been deleted or whatever, they decide that that's the most dominant and likely and appropriate way to approach getting clothes. That's right, in the same way that like a Google Maps

will some algorithm will sometimes take you down a one-way street. Exactly, or into a lake. Yeah. Just take this lake to get there. Yeah. And so it just thinks it goes, look, there's less confrontation. We know that your robotic stomach is able to withstand more impact than

a human stomach. Yeah. We actually went to a lot of effort to build a stomach that's capable of winning 12 to 13 prong cocktails. Minimum. It's so wait Yes, I was listening with that But I mean in a way that that's that's just that joke I hadn't I didn't think about it at the time but it's that joke from the Simpsons of You know that that bomb when they were gonna buy bomb shelter and they go you know that guy with the What was the name of the guy with the one sleeve that was wrapped up on the kind of like military disposals

kind of shop? Yeah. Remember that guy? Anyway, but he was selling those bomb shelters and he goes, and this baby will take, you know, something like two megatons, no more, no less. Less. That's a really good joke, but to me, that is a different joke.

Okay. That is a different joke. I think you're the one. 13 to 14 broad cocktails minimum. For a start, the fact that there's a range and it's a minimum is insane. But what that means is that the terminated can't function unless he has at least 13 broad cocktails. He's stomach! And then like, you know, when he's being crushed by a giant battering ram at the metal factory at the end, and his body finds some alternative energy path or whatever to

re-route, what that would have to be would be him having the prod cocktail squeezed out of him. And then fortunately, he was able to reach another prod cocktail slightly further away. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation.

You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This is kind of like, for some reason, the horsepower, we defined a unit of energy based on the power of a horse, which it's a shame we don't define any of our other attributes relative to a horse, I think.

Charm? Beauty, yeah, we're in a very similar area. But this is a unit of food that is defined by the prawn cocktail. I can't really remember why I thought that was so fending when I started the sentence. I've very much lost interest now, Alistair. Yeah, I'm just writing down. I don't much lost interest now, Alistair. Yeah, I'm just writing down, I don't think this will ever make sense. And I don't think we'll ever be able to find the context in which it will be as funny as it felt, but the 12 cocktails minimum, I've just written that down as a sort of half idea. It's nothing.

Well, what about when you go to a comedy club and it's like a three drink minimum or something like that, but it's just a really high number and it's a broad cocktail. This comedy club, I mean they have good acts on, but it's a real, I don't like the way it's set up there. They have a 13-pro cocktail minimum. And they don't like waste. And I don't like that is quite fun. It's like, look, it's $10 entry. But you got about 12.

Brown cocktails minimum. People are just eating their way through these prawns. And all that sauce, you're trying to eat all the sauce with a spoon. Yeah, and it's a comedy gig. People are vomiting. Muffin, vomiting. Baha!

And there's no way that you can keep that quantity of prawns fresh Perfect, in comedy. Baa-ha-ha. And there's no way that you can keep that quantity of prawns fresh without there being accidents. Accidents, like just one bag that was left in the back of the fridge that was forgot. Well, yeah, absolutely. It's a lot to keep track of. You'll prorn freshness, um, monitoring software would have to be so high powered. You're a quality club. You don't have that much money coming in.

You don't. And they're very dimly lit. And I feel like that. It probably extends the kitchen. And I think that's probably a lot of grot, a lot of grime. I think the bags will be so covered in grime. And I think I also think that you know, you don't become the chef at a comedy club. If you care that much about food, I mean, you must write because because people are there for the comedy, you know, right? Because people are there for the comedy. And they're not gonna be paying that much attention to the food, they can't discuss it, they can't express how much they're enjoying it.

Sure. Without being heckled, or without being shouted at by the comedian. Yep. And so like what, as a chef, you'd have to be able to subsist with so little external validation. It's very interesting because the comedians on stage are

the exactly the people from society who need so much validation that they're just sucking up all the available validation in the area at the expense of the chefs who might occasionally want to hear a kind word or hear people discussing how much they're enjoying the the the wedges with Sweet chili and sour cream in this case It's the one of the one of 12 prawn cocktails that each person is going to eat. And he doesn't realize that because he's not getting that that validation, how important it is for him to keep trying hard because of the quantity of

prawn cocktails people are having to eat. Each person is eating like six or seven prawns per cocktail. And a whole bunch of sauce that has to stay for seafood sauce and has to stay fresh. I think a comedy club with a 12-compron cocktail minimum is a really funny idea. We come up with two large quantities of seafood sketches Totally unrelated I feel like they were back to back they were they were like forest gum Baba just sitting with there It's another shrimp reference, but they're with another one It's another shrimp reference isn't it?

Well, I was just talking about them with their two backs again up against each other so that their heads don't have to lay with their heads in the mud. But also they open up a shrimp restaurant and it's like that in that way. But mostly, mostly for me, the similarity. To be honest, I wasn't thinking about the shrimp thing at all. I know you weren't, but I feel that your brain was primed. I want you to know that my idea was pure, and I wasn't trying to make any kind of connections other than a conceptual one.

I love, and that's what I love about your ideas. They remain pure, but I'm not being connected to anything Alistair. That's right. They say that essential, beautiful innocence of a truly insane idea. But it can't be connected to anything. You can't trace it to anything. No.

No, you can't, can't trace it to a lot of things. How could something be insane and innocent at the same time? Well, I feel like that's babies to a large extent. Yeah, I don't know. They don't, babies are really... You can't be insane and innocent because you can plead insanity and that makes you innocent, doesn't it? Oh yeah.

Isn't that the entire, the biggest loophole? You think that's a loophole we need to fix? Um, all right, just, how about the lawyer gets up? Let's cut the shit. All right, insanity, that's not enough to get off is it? Really Just a little trick It feels like a little bit of a cosmic technicality

Yeah, I mean it feels like somebody got away with it and then But I mean, I don't know if if going to a a But I mean, I don't know if going to a high-security mental institution, facility is better. Maybe it's way better. It gets to people who are making this decision are probably aware that it's way better than being around murderers. Yeah. What about a third option? Do you think there's a third way out, a third loophole? So what's that? What are you? So hang on, let's go through the loop holes as

you call the ballastair. What are those insanity? For sure, probably the other loophole that you've got to get to two loopholes is is it? Is it? Is that the... Having does, I mean, it's a good one. They can't send you a mental institution for that. No, I mean, they might send you to a sleep school. Sleep school, maybe one of those ones with it, just watch you overnight. Yeah. You know, it's a good defense. It's a really good defense.

Yeah. And that just means when you kill somebody, oh, just keep your eyes closed. I would say we were talking a while ago about some sort of murder that involved blood. I can't remember what it was. There was something about blood. And then I had an idea that you know like the one, oh that's right, we were talking about knives that have extra, they're both trick knives and real knives

and they have a bit of extra blood in there. So that you both stab somebody, for real, and it squirts out some more blood. Yeah, it's a satisfying. You know, do you know like that old riddle or whatever it is that's like somebody gets stabbed with a knife made out of ice? Yeah. I say knife made out of frozen blood.

So wait, it's somebody else's blood? No, you have to get the blood of the victim, I think. So I think maybe you sneak in and you steal it from them while they're sleeping the night before or something or you steal it from a blood bank, perhaps, when they donated blood. And then you freeze it into a knife and stab them with their own blood. I think that's probably not even a crime. What is the crime? What is the crime blood into his body?

Stabbing somebody with a knife made of blood. That sounds, do you understand how it's saying you sound? I'm gonna declare you innocent because you were it's say. I think maybe I could be let off because you guys are insane. I have the only not crazy word here, but blood knife. Like do you think that are there any advantages to stabbing somebody with enough like oh? I you'll have their blood all over your hands when it's in melts that is that is true That is a big disadvantage

And you probably have a little over your kitchen and stuff like that and through these other stuff Yes You okay? Yes, you're okay. I thought there would be less evidence. This is my idea with the knife made from their own blood would be this less evidence to link you to the crime. But you found a loophole in my loophole there, Alistair. And not to forget your knife-shaped popsicle mold.

Yeah, which I guess you put in the car of the new garage. That's not okay. The home section in Woolworth's. But I think the idea of somebody who's done this, thinking that it was the greatest idea ever, and then realizing that it's what the failure it is. It could be a Sherlock Holmes big reveal. He's one, but in all great crimes, the criminal makes one fatal mistake. Or in this case, I guess usually the fatal mistake is killing the person. That's right. Yeah, killing the person.

No, sorry, he made one mistake, did he? You don't think the murder was the mistake? Ah, well, I suppose to... They saw. Fatal mistakes. I mean, really one was fatal, and then the other one was just a mistake. They got him cold.

Yes. He's not dead or anything, is he? Not a very good detective. He's not dead. But a very good detective. Do we have any words from a listener, Alistair? Oh, Andy, I'm so glad that you would ask that because I don't know if you know this, but after we come up with a certain number of ideas, we get words from a listener, which is a Patreon supporter who's donated $3 to our Patreon.

And the today's listener, you'll be happy to hear is Adrian Hernandez-Arista. Adrian Hernandez- rista. I, I, you know, I, we're in lockdown right now, but hearing your your name, I feel like I'm on a tropical beach on the moon. You're almost at the word latin. Do I? Yeah, I think so. I think hearing your latin name. Yeah, right. La name. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, I mean, it's okay. I mean, the name does come across as Latin. Yes. Roman.

Ancient Roman. Caesar, the Hernandez Caesar. All right. Thank you, Adrian. God bless you and and also opposite God bless you for those who don't believe in any kind of God. It's a God that we've put through the conceptual and further and it's just it's just it's just a it's just a a genderless mortal Um, and so Andy do you want to try guess a three-wigs? Three-wigs

Limp limp no, it's anti-antii Okay, do I try and guess the next one? Limpet A-N-T-I. Okay. Do I try and guess the next one? Limpet? No, Andy, you're going, you're two L-heavies today. It's the second word is anti-anti-y. Anti-anti. Okay, great.

Do I try and guess the third word? Yeah. Is it anti-anti-i-n-t-e? Anti-i-n-t-e. You have guessed the third word. Yeah, is it anti-antae? Andy You have guessed the third word Incorrectly No, the third word is auntie. Oh fuck Because he was fucking with you

Yeah, he really was and he got me real good. I really thought I'd got one there. Oh, he's so close. Anti-anti-anti. So this is to be the the idea of being against somebody's insectoid aren't you know a small six-legged yeah aren't aren't yeah like I look at like mother's sister or something or father's sister a real mother sister you mother sister? Um... I'm gonna start calling on's that. Do you think? I don't know. I mean, you know, it's like, I guess it makes me think about the book, the Kafka book where the guy is the bug.

Oh yeah, of course. Metamorphosis. Metamorphosis. And it kind of makes me think that I think if it was like your uncle or aunt who was turning into a bug It's something you almost would expect of an aunt uncle or aunt Yeah, I mean uncles and aunts definitely um You know, they they are very often I think both in popular culture and you know in general people's lives They do tend to push the boundaries of what's socially acceptable, it seems like a lot of the time. I think what it is is they, you see them in relation to your parents and growing up,

you regard your parents as being totally normal. That's sort of your definition of normal. And then you, but your parents have historical and personal conflicts and all sorts of things with these, these arts, but then that they're still very close to and touch you so you see them often. And I think it's just a very, you know, you threw out your early life and you're coming into awareness and coming into adulthood. You're really exposed to, you know, quite intimately to people who are often quite different or just interesting.

But, and I think that there are also, there are also kind of these adults who, you're close enough to them because of your parents, to see all the weirdnesses of them. Yes, that's what it is. Yeah. And so you, you know, you're on the inner circle. And so you get to know the true thing, whereas everybody else hides it from strangers and stuff. Like hides a lot of those things from strangers.

People who are just- It's just family, isn't it? It's just. And so you get to know people's weird stuff. And then so if like, let's say, you know, my dad's sister just decided she was starting to convert herself into a beetle. And it's like, oh, geez.

And she... Like, you'd have to hear all about it and she'd be coming around and we all have to pretend like we think it's great. She's scum. And also, I think as she does this, she probably has less and less contact with some of her normal friends and that sort of thing and therefore will probably rely on your family for more contact and support and that sort of thing. So you really will bear the brunt, I think a lot of the you're aren't turning into an ant. And so yeah, is your parents, your parents are like,

all right, Glendo is coming over today and she's just had those sort of back panels and wings installed. She wants to try them out on her property. And so she's standing on your balcony and she kind of like opens them up. They start to flutter and then she jumps and she kind of, you know, she falls into the vegetable farm. Yeah, then you're like, calm everybody, help Glendo. Yeah, and you've got to try and stay positive and tell me that was really good. And I guess you're still not old enough to realize, you know, to realize, to relate to an adult and understand why they're sad, so sad that they need to. They need to be a beetle right now.

I'm looking at it. Once, you know, 20 years from now, you'll be able to sort of relate to that. And you go, yeah, I think I could understand why I would want to escape this humanly form. But, um, does that feel like a sketch? Yeah. You know, I think ants supposedly can carry, um, you know, 20 times their own weight. But I think actually a lot of the burden

probably falls onto the family. That's a the family. A lot of the emotional burden falls onto the family. Yeah. I think that's beautiful. I think it's a sketch, I think. So I think I'll better, better take us to through this episode, which is episode 249, Andy,

that means that we are only 51 episodes away from having to do our 300th episode. Don't you dare talk to me about this. It's considered actually, it's very impolite to bring that kind of thing up in our culture. Well, I apologize. I mean, last week was the, you know, it was exactly one year away. So that makes one year away from our own deaths. Thank you, Adrian, for those words. I'll leave it. Like two weeks, I've now started to measure time by how often we have to put out the yellow

recycling bin. Yeah. And, and you know, I know those are two weeks apart, but I swear it's happening every second day at the moment. It's not. Yeah. And that's the same thing with these, you know, hundred episodes is that they, they, they almost, they're almost two years that come that are between them feels like it's flying by.

How is it been a year? They're definitely heisting my death in many ways. All right, here's the sketches for today. Conceptual inverter. Great idea. Who's your... Right on the AC to achieve. Very easy.

No, I mean, we did a sketch at the company festival that wasn't that different from this, but that was a The thing that you know that The build or anything and it'll make it. Yeah Yeah, you can make it work And We got who's your long lost dead ancestor? We got two guys New guy comes around and they do battle.

We got the Maranara Trench. Great. It's a really... It's a... It's a... It's a really... All the seafood sketch. Yeah, I mean, it's really, you know, a meal idea.

But then we got the off-the-grid new t-shirt guy, which... Where he gets from eating food challenges, but then also the terminators first draft where he shows up in the world and I need you all, we've been called a comedy club that has a 12-prone cocktail minimum. We got, we got, uh, stabbing them with a knife made of their own blood. That's it. I mean, I've been thinking about, I love those riddles. Um, they're one of my favorite things that those things it's like,

somebody standing near their, you know, their mailbox and their dead. What happened? What happened? I know, and you're just giving this tiny amount of information and then they give this information to like, like you should be able to have got it from that That's that's a Twitter account. It's a Twitter account that we could could do easily Yeah, it's just called you know riddles

Great murder murder murder riddles And yeah, that's a great concept. Yeah Do people try and guess in the people in the replies and you're always like, no, no. I guess you give them a day. Yeah. And then you read through them to make sure that you don't you don't write the same one as they did. Nobody's allowed to ever get it right. Yeah. You don't write the same one as they did nobody's elected if I get it right yeah a Vulture died in their ass I

Were killed by the sort of the toxic the toxic shock lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol oh crush lol Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ!

Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! Oh, Christ! You're dead sisters, slowly turning yourself into a beetle. We all have to bear witness. We'll go into the song. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- It's crazy. It's like people don't love they don't want to win a musical ward Thank you very much for listening to the podcasts. Yeah, I'm Andy and Alistair and you can follow follow us on Twitter

Me it oh, you can follow us at two in tank and you can follow me at Alistair TV How about stupid old Andy. I can follow us on Instagram at two in tank. You can follow me on Instagram at Alistair a Tromblay virtual. You can click on that link that's down there and then you can watch magma. You can get magma. You can review us. Gosh, we love reviews. Go, go now.

Are you in isolation? Go review. What else are you going to do? What are you going to do?, review. What else are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Spend a day on it. Really, really pour a lot of yourself into this review. Oh, pour. Do some pouring.

Spread some love, you know. You don't have to upgrade who you are, just do some writing. Anyway, who cares? Thank you very much. And you can support us on Patreon if you like, you know. When we're in dries up, that definitely keeps us alive a lot. Thank you so much to everybody who does gosh, you're all God's amongst garbage. Against, against, no, they God's amongst

other gods. God's amongst other gods, anybody who listens as a God. Yeah. But you're the whole God. Yeah, there is only one God. How about this is a concept? Yeah. How about this is a sketch idea? The God Park, right?

It's a dog park, but you go there, and it's just people walking their gods, and they're all on leads, and they're running around and fighting I guess. Oh no but they like that they're sniffing each other and getting on like getting along and some of down. Oh, okay. All right. Thanks, Sal. No worries, thank you, Andy.

And we love you. You. God is crap God backwards. Crap God. Right. Crap dog it. See ya. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional. You have to do it.

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