Two In The Think Tank - 25 - "Fountain of Youths"

Episode Date: October 29, 2013

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and all our digital data will have decayed. There's no way that this will outlast the sun. And that makes me feel good. Yeah, it just takes the edge off. There's something about knowing that people who are around after the sun, the evolved beings that have survived the sunpocalypse.

Yeah, those creatures of pure energy and just beings of thought that they can have no way to access this podcast. To make me feel embarrassed. Judge particular episodes and think, you know, they really weren't firing that day. Yeah. Must have been tough. Must have. Yeah. Must have been tough. Must have been tough. Must have been tough.

Must have been a rough one for the boys. The anthropologists from... The anthropologists of pure energy. Yeah. The pure energy anthropologists. Yeah. Just reading just a gust of data that just blew by. What's this?

Podcast. Oh, a fragment. Yeah. Oh, a fragment of data that just blew by. What's this? A podcast. A fragment. A fragment of the past. Carried by the eddies of time, the ripples of the fundament. Hither, as a quantum fluctuation. What is this? Oh, it's a really shit episode. Those guys are rubbish.

Hopefully, hopefully they would have evolved beyond the point of judgment. No. No? All they are is energy and judgment A being of pure judgment And so That's, because that's what everyone says, they're going to be a being of pure energy No, why does it have to be pure energy? Why can't it be pure depression? Yeah, pure just disapproval of everything around it.

Yeah, okay. So I like that idea. Like a shock jock or something who transcends his physical form and comes of being of pure disapproval. Just this cloud of judgment and rhetoric. What plane does he exist on? Boeing 737. He's one of the Dreamliners. Yeah, one of the Dreamliners.

He's doing very well for himself. Oh, wow. They can sit, like, 800 people. So many people. It would be a perfect place to judge. You could just get some hours of judging in there. Let's take this judgment to the skies. Yeah.

Well, I mean, because he's just floating now. At this point, gravity is of no consequence to him. Which must be a relief. I would love to be able to shed the surly bonds of gravity. They are surly and bonding. Yeah. Surly, surly bonds of gravity. But is there something in the immaterial shock jock?

Yeah. How does that occur? Is there... of gravity um but is there something in the in the immaterial shock jock yeah yeah where how does that occur is there like maybe maybe that is the is the part true path to nirvana or enlightenment or something or he like he reaches a point where he's so judgmental yeah that like he he transcends his physical form because it's always like you you get to a certain level and then you can go beyond. Yeah, why would sort of absent-mindedness be the only thing that reaches nirvana? There you go. Buddha, who was absent-minded to the point of reaching nirvana. Yeah, so there's got to be different ones for different emotions.

I mean, the Buddhists, they don't say absent-minded. They say disconnected. They don't say disconnected either. What do they say? They say that the earthly things meant nothing to him. He transcended suffering. Well, it sounds like he was just a bit vague. Yeah, it sounds to me.

He sounds like he would not have been able to keep a hard 330, if you know what I'm saying. What is a hard 330? I don't know, just an expression that I made up that sounds like it might be a business thing. Like you've got a 330 meeting and a hard one is one you definitely got to start. I imagined it was just a throbbing 330. Oh, yeah, a really just rigid shaft of a 330. Okay, but what kind of adventures

does this shock jock, this immaterial shock jock, this cloud of disapproval, does he get into adventures? What kind of situations? I think, you know, okay, like there could be certain scenarios that are occurring, like a gay marriage

or something around the town, and then gay marriage or something, around the town. And then, like, this sort of, this thing comes down upon it. What we've invented is God. Yeah. God does judge, doesn't he? He's pretty judgmental. Yeah. I mean, he talks, he's got the spin doctor saying that he's all about the love, but it's really, you feel nothing but judged.

If you're not feeling judged, you're not doing it right. Look, immaterial shock jock. Yeah. I'm going to write it down. Transcends physical form. Yeah. Done. Great.

Trans. Yeah. I mean, maybe the transformation itself would be a beautiful thing to witness. Yeah, I think so and like but i i sort of almost wonder like we'd need something to explain it like like maybe there's a i'm sorry alistair i'm corrupting the idea but but uh like maybe there's a there's another being that sort of is there to guide him through or say welcome welcome, you've done it. Yeah.

You've achieved. I mean, it's hard to think what you could complain about when suddenly you are no longer affected by the material world. But that's the beauty of it. Like finding those things, like being able to complain about things when you've got when you're existing in infinite bliss. I guess that's kind of the shot jock's life

anyway, isn't it? Yeah, here we are in the first world. Everything's wonderful. He's got a... Everything is wonderful. I don't know if you're listening, people who have genuine problems. But I just said that in the first world, everything is wonderful. A lot of things are wonderful.

Yeah, a bunch of stuff. It's pretty great. Do you ever think about Rex Hunt? Yeah, actually pretty often. Yeah, really? Like kissing the fish and everything? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

How weird is that? I Googled him within the last couple of weeks. Really? Yeah. How weird is that? I googled him within the last couple of weeks. Really? Yeah.

Because of the foreign minister or whatever. Oh, no, no. The climate change guy who's currently working for the liberals is Greg Hunt. And I was like, is that Rex Hunt? Is that like, I thought, for some reason I just didn't, I couldn't remember Rex's first name. Yeah. Which is Rex, I know now. What's Rex's first name?

Yeah. It's not a real first name. You can be forgiven for not remembering that. It's like, you know, what color is Napoleon's white horse? Well, fuck me. I'll Google it. Yeah. There's only, I'll Dr. Google. And, yeah.

Yeah. Why? And so you looked him up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That kiss in the fish thing that's not acceptable I'm sorry but that is common assault

do you think so? or indecent assault or something I can't believe that we just sit back and accept that and say ah what a national treasure the man's a fucking lunatic he's kissing fish think about that from the fish's point of view ah, what a national treasure. The man's a fucking lunatic. He's kissing fish. Like, think about that from the fish's point of view.

Well, out of all the things that the fish has just gone through, you know, he's just been pulled from his home by an invisible wire that's hooked into his lip. Yeah. And he's battled and probably torn parts of himself and things like that. Oh, tearing the lips and the... But the kiss seems like not that much. So, I mean, if you want to like...

But, I mean, it's Rex Hunt. He's all bristly. That's true. He's got that beard. It'd be like kissing a manatee. Yeah. Which, you know, is something a fish could... There's a reason they're solitary creatures.

Yeah. Nobody wants to kiss a manatee. No, and they want and they try. But this is the thing I was thinking about Rex Hunt. That kissing the fish and throwing it back, that's like our version of aliens anal-probing people. Aliens abduct somebody, they anal-pro probe you, they throw you back. Yeah, that's true.

Oh, yeah, no, just, I got a big one, anal probed him, threw him back. Yeah. Think about it that way, guys. How would you like that to happen to you? Think about that, Rex Hunt.

Yeah. Let me put this to you, Rex Hunt. It's an anal probe, Rex Hunt. What you're doing, it's just because you don't know where their assholes are. It's the only reason

you're kissing them on the mouth. Yeah. I assume. But I think, like, an alien fishing show. Yeah.

So they're sort of, yeah, they're game fishermen or whatever. Yeah. And they come down and they get you in their tractor beam.

You struggle a bit, but they get you up. They get you in. And then they... Prove you and throw you back. I mean, if they just kissed you and threw you back... Yeah. I mean, it would still be equally as strange. Imagine if you get up there and it's Rex Hunt in the flying saucer.

Yeah. And he's got his mate. Yeah. Sure. Tomo. Tomo. Yeah. And they've got some reels for sale.

Yeah. They're plugging the Bay Marine line of outboard motors. Yeah. Yeah. And some... Line of outboard motors. Yeah. And some of those rubber, like fake bait things. It's just like a rubber...

A lure, like a jiggly. Yeah, jigglies. The jiggly ones. Yeah. And you see that all there, but it's not for you. No. It's not for you. That's for other...

Fishermen. Fishermen. And then he kisses you. They would be called... Yeah, he kisses you and he throws you back. That would be called manneman. Manneman. Well, because fishermen catch fish.

A manneman. Humanerman. Like, it would be a jiggly sandwich. Right? Yeah. Like a rubber sandwich. Yeah. Would be the thing.

Is there any way this could be a sketch, Alistair? It could. Let's move on. It could. It's just I feel already like our first guy, it's an idea, but we don't know what's happening to this guy. We don't have him in any situations. We've just got to judge him. He's fishing.

He's already, like a shock jock is already in a contained area where he's not really affected by the world. Yeah. He's not affected by the world that he comments on, but essentially they already are these beings. They just haven't shed their mortal coils yet. Oh, beautiful sentence. Yeah, thanks.

I didn't make it up. No. I've heard it many places before. But mortal coils. Yeah. I don't even like... Is that a snake thing? Is that when a snake sheds its skin, do they refer to their...

No. No? No. I... Yeah. I think coil probably has other meanings. Yeah, other than just like a... A wound up bit of spring or some shit. But do people ever refer to a coil of snake?

Like a snake as being... We'll get right back to you on that. Is it coiled? I don't know why you called the talking clock to ask this question, but... Talking clock. All right. I was going to try and do a character as the talking clock.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you can do that. Yeah? Let's start again. Okay. It's not going to go well. No, it might.

It might. Believe in yourself, Andy. Bring, bring, bring, bring, bring, bring. Hi. Yeah, I would. On the fourth beep in the set time, we'll be 4.30pm. Sorry, just stop one second. I just need to know...

Second beep, the time will be 4.30pm. Is the snake ever referred to as a coil? There's a snake coil? What? I'm the talking clock. I'm a machine. All I do is tell the time. Why would you ask me that question?

Yeah, well, how do you know you can't achieve other things unless you... Time, 4.33 p.m. 4.33, yeah. And the snake... Snake... Just Google it.

Just Google it. Well... You're like a watch. Nobody has a one-purpose thing anymore. Okay, now I've lost count. Great. Thanks a lot. Great.

All right. What are you doing now? You want to get a coffee? Right. See, it went well. I knew that would be good. That was pretty good. I love impro.

Do you? No. I was impro-ing. I was in a character as a guy who loves impro. Yeah. Yeah? The guy who really loves impro. Really, impro-ing. I was in a character as a guy who loves impro. Yeah. Yeah? The guy who really loves impro. Really, really loves it.

Would marry it if he could. Would you marry the concept of improvisation? Look. Do you think your mother would approve? I don't know if your mother would approve. I've met your mother. I don't think she'd approve. She's not a big approver.

Well, not of people marrying the concept of improvisation. I think the Northern Territory is considering legalizing it. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't know where. It's probably going to be contested in the high court. Oh, jeez. That'd really...

I tell you what. If Tony Abbott really wants to stick it to gay couples, he should just go right ahead and legalize marrying the concept of improvisation. Because that would be so infuriating. All these people happily skipping arm in arm down the street with the concept of improvisation while the gay couples can't get married. Skipping, which is the sign of a happy married couple.

Those people are skipping They must be married How are you surprised Another married couple Another Happy marriage Sorry yes Unhappy marriage

You won't see them skipping Skulking Skulking But not skipping Is that that Winter Olympics Yes Skulking

Skulking The 400 metre skulk Yeah But you do it You know it's like It's a sled Yeah And Winter Olympics. Yes, skulking. Skulking. The 400-meter skulk. Yeah. But you do it, you know, it's like a sled. Yeah. And it looks dangerous. Is it head first?

Is that the one that's head first or feet first? Well, skulking isn't a real thing. But skeleton? You mean skeleton? Luge? Well, skeleton is what I meant. Yeah, okay. But we could have kept going.

Oh, okay. Oh, well. But no, think of all the things that we could do... Could have kept going. We could do and we could have done in the past. You don't feel bad about those, so don't feel bad about this one. This door that I slammed shut. Yeah, that's okay.

Look, we're having a good time here. Yeah. Okay, I feel like a couple of seconds ago we were onto something. Oh, with the Tony Abbott and the... Maybe. Making people... A couple of seconds ago, we were onto something. Oh, with the Tony Abbott and the... Maybe. Making people, if you wanted to, really stick it to gay people.

Because that's something I thought of the other day as well. It's funny that you came up with pretty much the same idea. Yeah. Is that, I was like, well, if he really didn't like gay people, he would let people marry their pets. Yes. Because if it was really just against gay people, and it wasn't just against his super conservative views and things, he'd be like, oh yeah, you want to get married?

Well, how about this? Polygamy's legalized. Fuck. Give me a second. The Bible does not specifically forbid marrying the concept of improvisation. I'd just like to point that out. It's not in there. It says nothing about whether or not you shall lie with the concept.

Imagine making love to the concept of improvisation. I imagine there'd be a lot of yesing. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And mime. Mime. Yes. There'd be a lot of mime because Yeah. Yes. Yes. And mime. Mime. There'd be a lot of mime because it is just a concept.

Yeah. But on both parts. Oh, really? Yeah, but they would be miming, miming. Role play? Yeah. Do you think you could do

some amazing role play with the concept of improvisation? There'd be an arc or maybe four arcs and in the end they would all come together. They would all come together. That's really something.

That's some next level shit right there. I'd like to take it to that next level. With improvisation. But it is not interesting to me. Okay, so can we do a thing where... I find it annoying when people say, if you love such and such so much, why don't you marry it?

Yeah. Okay? Because it feels like that's... Like down there with like the sort of the lowest form of comedy. Like that's the sort of thing that just like a machine could do that. You know, it's like when somebody says something

that involves the color black and someone's like racist, you know? Yeah. It's just that really background base level it's just you know it's just the trigger words yeah and then response yeah no value adding there's no yeah absolutely uh so somebody says if you love it so much why don't you marry it right and then we see the whole marriage play out okay so a person marrying we see the whole marriage play out.

Okay? So a person marrying cheese or a fridge or... I'll tell you what, I really like the concept of improvisation. Yeah. Oh, yeah? If you love the concept of improvisation so much, why don't you marry it? I like it. And then they go through it. Yeah.

Marrying... I mean, yeah. Look, I'm writing that down. Okay, great. I think the concept of improvisation maybe is just too abstract because I don't know what it would look like in this sketch. But I think out of all of those, I mean, marrying cheese would be okay, but I think it would be the most fun one.

Yeah, okay, great. Yeah. If we could make it work, it would be incredible. Because I imagine him laying down on a bed and going Can we get a suggestion from the audience? Can we get a suggestion

from the audience? Great. Excellent. Marrying, man marries the concept of improvisation. And look, we could even get some little cutaways you know we could do some vox pops and with people saying well you know it's not forbidden in the bible um and as long as he doesn't ram it down my throat i really don't mind what he does in his own private life and then there's the bride at the wedding, there's the groom's side, which is all these

people, and then there's the concept of improvisation side, which is, who knows? Either it's just empty space, or it's a sort of a gust of wind, or it's a whole lot of other concepts. Or there's a scene playing out. Great. Yeah. Or it's a whole lot of other concepts Or there's a scene playing out Yeah Great Yeah Okay, now imagine you're at a wedding Yeah, so it could either be He's getting married to an empty space

Or he's marrying this improv troupe Oh man, marry is an improv troupe That's definitely more filmable Yeah Yeah Okay I think there's something to that I mean it could be like

It could be an interchangeable improv troupe So you don't just think He's marrying particular people You're right He's just marrying Yeah improv Yeah okay Great

So it's a lot of good people dressed all in black. Yeah. You know, and they believe in their minds. You know, because that's the thing you gotta do if you do improv. You go, like, none of them go, ah, no, I'm not very good at improv. Like, people who are good at improv,

they never hear themselves. None of them, that's the thing they would, unless they were doing a scene. Yeah. But I think that's part of it is that's the thing they would, unless they were doing a scene. Yeah. But I think that's part of it is that you learn how to fail and just take it in your stride like that. That's the thing of improv. Failing, failure sort of loses its meaning then,

doesn't it? Like if you can fail and just take it in your stride. If you can fail, like, yeah, if you can fail and just keep going,

then failure doesn't mean anything. It's not a thing. Yeah. But, like, yeah, if you can fail and just keep going, then failure doesn't mean anything. It's not a thing. Yeah. But, you know, I'm not willing to take that on board in my life. I want failure to have the full impact. Yeah. So that I can continue not learning from it. And feeling sad in the anticipation thereof.

Yeah. And because, you know, your life has to have a pace. There you go. A bit of rhythm. And if you keep succeeding, you start moving too fast. A bit of failure gives you some room to breathe. Yeah. Sit down and really dwell on something.

You can't. It's really hard to sit down in the dark and dwell on your success. Yeah, it's so hard. You know? It's never. Success is never there for you when you're feeling down. Yeah, no... Yeah, the...

Failure. Well, yeah. Well, just the idea of dwelling. I mean, what can you dwell on? Yeah. There's nothing left to dwell. Nothing left to dwell? Other than the fact that there's no... thing to dwell. Nothing left to dwell? Other than the fact that there's no thing to dwell

on. No thing. No thing. Do people, like, nothing. That was just really, they just said no thing and they're like, let's just make it one word. That'll be a word. Yeah. Is there anything over there? No, there is no thing. Look, let's just say nothing. Yeah. Nah, thing. Nah, thing. It must have been invented by an Australian. Nah, thing. Nothing.

What about a... An Australian? An affluent suburb that digs a well. Yeah, okay. Done. Just a juxtaposition. It's incongruous. It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything.

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everyone will be surprised so and then fresh drinking water is really important. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. They dig a well. They dig a well. Maybe they're in the mall or just outside the mall. Well, but maybe instead of in water, the water there, when they dig it in this area, they pull up buckets of Moet Chandon. And then they're bottling it up. Oh, thank God. We've found an artesian basin full of Moet and Chandon.

Moet Chandon. What's a rich suburb that isn't Turak? Because I don't want to use Turak. Okay. Do we know any? Is Malvern rich? I don't think so. Iorak. Okay. Do we know any? Malvern? Is Malvern rich? I don't think so. I think I've been to Malvern once, and it didn't seem rich.

Okay. Do you think they just hid it well? Do you think they were just very... I think anywhere that has, like, Springvale Road near it is not a good suburb. Okay. Is there any way we could get a Springvale bypass? Yeah. Is there any way you could get a Springvale bypass? Yeah. Is there any way you could get that, just divert that? It's just like, it's just a really long road that goes through, like, it's like, that just has that kind of like, you know, that...

An avenue of dishonour. But, you know, like, that kind of like, it's like, it's always commercial slash industrial. And you're like, oh, this is not a good place. And there's always just fish and chip shops. Yep. And recently immigrated restaurants. Takeaway signs. Those big sort of illuminated takeaway signs. That industry really collapsed, didn't it?

When did takeaway stop being a great thing to put on a sign? Look, Andy, we're being tricked by living in the city. Takeaway sign industry is still going strong. Booming? Outside of the CBD. In the rural areas? That's my narrow point of view, you see. I'm just like Jeff Kennett. Andy, I've just recently realized that living in the city and living the way that we live has

accidentally made us wankers. It's like, you know, I didn't want to love coffee. Suddenly I have a very strong opinion about how good a coffee is and I love it. Fantastic. And it's ruined most coffee for me. Let's do the thing with the Artesian Basin full of Moet and Chandon Is that what it's called?

Moet and Chandon? Yeah, I don't think I say I don't say the and I just say Moet Chandon Moet Chandon Great Okay Artesian Basin

And they just... But, like, the rich people, they come to it... Yeah. ...like they're desperate for water. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And they have to walk three to four hours... Yeah. ...to get to the well.

This has got nothing to do with First World problems, and I like it. Yeah. I don't think it has. Maybe it does. But let's not analyse it, because we might find something to do with first world problems in there and then I'd be depressed. As long as we don't go, first world problems, like that, then we're clear of it. Do you think that people saying first world problems is a real first world problem?

Yeah. Like if that's a thing that really irritates you, that is the ultimate first world problem? I've said that out loud once before. You said that out loud? But I feel like that's the only true first world problem is people saying first world problems. And you getting annoyed. Yeah.

That's great. Yeah. Write that down. Yeah. All right. It's not a sketch, is it? Maybe. First world problems is a first world problem.

Well, the fountain of youth. Oh, the fountain of youth. You know, no one ever goes to the fountain of youth and then they drink it and go back to puberty and suddenly they get all these pimples and they're wearing Adidas track pants. The fountain of puberty. and they're wearing Adidas track pants.

The fountain of puberty. The fountain. But when people talk about youths, you know, that's always like sort of teens, like angry adolescent teens. So somebody doesn't find the fountain of youth, they find the fountain of youths. And you go and you drink some and you have this snotty little brat just hanging out down at the mall and, like, drinking energy drinks.

Oh, pimply. Yeah. And you yell out really loud to your friend who's not that far. Kev! Kev! Oh, you cunt! Can we do that? An explorer struggles through the jungle,

finds the Fountain of Youth there. And there's a little vine on it. It's all beautiful. He drinks some, becomes this little guy, and someone pushes aside the thing, and there's an S there. It's the Fountain of Youths. And he looks around, and there's all these just like...

Just these grubby... Yeah. Just grubby like... In their hoodies. Yeah. And like... Tagging the fountain. Yeah, talking about fingering. Yeah. You know, and they're...

Getting their mum To buy them alcohol Yeah Drive you to the bottle shop My cousin can get us Some cow Cowled Or standing outside

A bottle shop Asking people If they can buy them alcohol Have you been asked No Yeah I've been asked Really Yeah

More than once Yeah Yeah Maybe like Three times Yeah More than once? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe like three times? Yeah. More than once. Oh, yeah.

Like 300% more than once. Oh. Yeah. Can you buy us some alcohol? They wouldn't say alcohol. Can you buy us some alcohol? Can you buy us some standard drinks? Can you buy us some grog?

Yeah. And then I would go, I'm not the person to help you. I'm sorry. I'm not the one you're looking for. I am not the, this is not the person, the person to. The irresponsible adult. Commit an illegal act. It ain't me, babe.

Can you buy some grog? And you go and you come out with like a Just a big old earthenware jug With four X's on it There you go Your little scandrel What is grog? Grog

Alcohol? But I think like it had a meaning Like a grog I've never seen the Either the etymology or where the original thing came from. You've never seen the etymology? No. Oh, well, you're missing out. It's a beautiful etymology.

No, I love the etymology of some things. Yeah? I mean, you know, some things I don't like. I don't like... Let's see, what's the thing I don't like? You don't like the origins of particular words? No, no, no. Like, some things I don't like? You don't like the origins of particular words? No, no, no. Some things I don't like them, but I love the origin of their word.

Yeah? Like the molly duker. Molly duker. That? Yeah. That's just calling a person a left-handed person in a sort of derogatory way. But I love the origins. Molly Duker is a left-hander.

Yeah, Molly Duker. That's great. It's a person with a left hand. Who's left-handed? With a left hand. Who had a left hand? Anyway, the word's almost redundant. Have I told you the origin of that?

Maybe you have, once upon a time. Tell me again. It comes from a time when people would refer to their hands... As their dukes. No, as forks. to their hands... As their dicks. No, as forks. What? Yeah, as their forks. As forks, right.

That must have been a great time. Yeah, because you just picture you, you're straight-handing, you're just like... Digging into some meat. No, into some noodles, and then you twist it around. Twist the rest of your wrap around, then you bite them off. I think the only thing you could really... The only thing you could really pick up with that is maybe like a sponge cake.

If you just kept your fingers, your prongs up. Yeah. Anyway, and then the rhyming slang for forks was Duke of Yorks. That's where Duke comes from. Put up your Duke. So because you don't say the full thing you just say the beginning, so that's where your Duke comes from. Put up your duke. And so because you don't say the full thing, you just say the beginning,

so that's where your dukes comes from. Yeah. And then so duker is to be handed. And then it was seen as sort of like queer and wrong and effeminate to be left-handed. So you give it a bit of a girl's name. Molly. Molly duker. Great.

Bit of a girl's name. Yeah. Chuck that on the end there. You got yourself a euphemism. You got yourself the effeminate prefix. Yep. And your rhyming slang. Molly is like the rhyming slang version of la in French.

Yeah. Yeah. La. You just put Molly in front of everything. Or Greg Duker. Greg. Greg Duker, which is a fine person who's probably got a... Good hands.

Good hand. He's probably part of the majority in terms of his orientation. Yes. Regarding... Sexual. No. Oh. No, regarding hand use.

Sexual orientation. Yes. Sounds a lot more geographical than in fact it is. Yeah. Sexual orientation sounds like you should need a compass. Yeah. South by south gay. There would be...

South by south gay. The wind is blowing in from north... North hetero. North... sexual orientation. That would be, I mean, like a troop of kind of like scout type people who go around. They've got a map and they're trying to navigate. Yeah, the sexual thing. But they encounter different sexual scenarios.

Yeah. And they have to navigate. You've got to turn left at the man looking at a nipple. A nipple. You know, because it's like... It's voyeurism. If you reach the bloke jerking off into the sink, you've gone too far. Yeah.

Yeah. But we're... But they're finding their place. Yeah. And so slowly but surely... Sexual orienteering. Boys in the group... I don't know why they're all boys,

but this is a picture of scouts. Yeah. Scouts can be mixed now. You know, I'm sure. That's something we could allow. They can be mixed? Yeah, we could allow mixing of scouts. Yeah. Scouts can be mixed now, you know, I'm sure. That's something we could allow. They can be mixed? Yeah, we could allow mixing of scouts. Sure.

Brownies. Brownies. Is that a thing? Is that what they do? Yeah. Brownies. Brownies. What a silly name.

That's really insulting. To who? I don't know. To the girls? Yeah, a little group of girls. They've got the brownies, I mean. Brownies. Maybe it's fine.

Is it named after the food? Or is it named after people who are brown? I really hope there's a third option. Andy, what else could it mean? I don't know. I've got nothing. Maybe a type of animal? I do not know.

Okay, wait. Sexual orientation. Yeah. I had another little way it could have gone. Sexual orientation. I like if they carried a whistle as well as a compass. Don't they always get a whistle? Just get lost somewhere deep in a

scenario. Yeah. Sexual orientation is a very real issue. You've got to find your way. Anyway, look at the side of the moss that's growing on the trees. And, yeah.

Put your dick in this hole. Whichever side the moss grows. I've got nothing. I just don't know how you figure out. I don't know how you make a connection between those two things. Sexual orienteering or finding your sexual orientation is a great starting point for a sketch though. Yes.

Well done us. Oh, should we write down starting points? Let's write down the starting points. Starting points. Starting points. Starting points. Where do you begin from? Everybody...

I like the idea of them looking at their compass and it's pointing to vaguely sexually related things. South by South breast. So North is for nipple. Yep. W. Yeah. Is for nipple. Yep. W. Yeah. Is for... Willy.

Willy. How do you feel about the word Willy? Well, you know what? I used to use it when I was a kid. Yeah? And it ruined it for you? Well, no. What ruined it for me was that I met a kid in the change rooms for a swimming pool yep and he told me

that he called his mark and then i realized that willie was like a person's name oh and then i went not for me yeah my willie yeah because there's going to be other people in the world called Willie. And? And then I'm going to get confused. There's going to be branding issues. And then it's like, oh, when I say Willie, am I talking to Willie or am I talking to my penis? No.

But anyway, I didn't like that. E is for... Erogenous. Erogenous. Zone. Zone. didn't like that e is for erogenous erogenous zone zone and s is for sex hole sex hole question mark great i reckon we uh can wrap it up alice yeah you're already on so? Yeah, do you want to go on sex hole question mark? You think that's the kind of... Look, that is exactly the kind of thing that I'd like to end on. Yeah, great. Oh. Sorry.

It was not intended. It's fine. Oh, wait, I've got to read this. You want to take us through the sketches that we've come up with so far? That was me starting to go into the... Yeah, I feel like you're falling asleep, Al. Are you falling asleep? No, I don't think so.

Okay, great. You just seem a bit tired. You're doing great. Yeah. But I just thought you might be a bit tired. I probably need to be caffeinated. Probably. I probably need to be caffeinated.

Currently, you're decaffeinated? At the moment, I don't find that there's much in my system. And because I've been consuming so much. Something of a dependency has developed. I would say, yes, a dependency has developed. Within your faculty. So I cannot help but feel like something is missing from my physiology.

Ah, your chemicals and brain chemistry. You know when somebody speaks with an accent, or not a native speaker, but they use better words than you do? That's what I was trying to do there. Well, not trying. I just found myself doing it. Oh, yeah.

That's a little confronting. They've got a better vocabulary than you, and it's their second language. Yeah. I've been corrected by Dutch people before. That's the Dutch for you. I don't want to hate the Dutch. I don't want to hate the Dutch, but they don't make it easy, do they?

They do not. I tell you what, every day is a struggle not to hate the Dutch. I mean, you guys are confident. Where's your humility? I tell you what, every day is a struggle not to hate the Dutch. I mean, you guys are confident. Yeah. Where's your humility? I think the Dutch might be like the tallest people, like their average height for the Dutch. It doesn't surprise me. Yeah, it does not surprise me in a slice.

Typical. Do you think that would make you more confident? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. And I think also coming from a country where they've like literally held back the ocean to build their country. Like they've got those dams all the way around. Like they've reclaimed all that land.

They're holding back the ocean. That's great. That must be great for you. That would make you believe in yourself a little bit more. I bet you people who do improv, they first, in order to get that confidence it takes to do, to be good at improv, first you've got to hold back the ocean. Yeah, I mean, I'll tell you what. Coming from a country that has literally defeated the sea god Neptune, I mean, that does help.

They've pulled his trident from his hands. Rested it from him. Yeah, and sunk it into his heart. Driven it back. Yeah. And he has not returned. And then built a small town in that area. Yeah.

So the sketches we've done. But the Dutch conquering the ocean, that's awesome. We got the immaterial shock jock Who transcends his physical form And becomes a being Of pure judgment Of pure judgment Slash What was the other word that we had for that?

Oh, disapproval Disapproval Disapproval's almost a nicer word Like a better word than judgment Because disapproval just seems like such a You can imagine disapproval is almost a nicer word, like a better word than judgment, because disapproval just seems like such a... You can imagine disapproval more as a gas, like a cloud of disapproval. Oh, yeah. Judgment seems like it's too pointy.

Oh, yeah. Disapproval is just like a... Yeah, yeah. But I imagine... Disapproval would ooze out from under a door. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but a cloud of judgment.

I bet you that would just smell awful. Anyway, the second sketch is if you love the concept of improvisation, why don't you marry it? And then a guy does. And then I imagine it goes all the way through to

maybe even divorce. There you go. What happens when the concept of improvisation gets half your stuff? Three, artesian basin of Moet Chandon. So we're in an affluent suburb and people are just showing up and they're sort of like their Tommy Hilfiger's looking a little bit disheveled. Sorry, can I stop you? Just at some point in the concept of improvisation relationship,

he'd say, just where are we going with this? You know, I just, what's next for us? Yeah, that's good. I like that. Yeah, so it's Artesian Basin, and people have travelled for a long time, maybe with a big bucket on their head to get there. Like a champagne bucket, one of the beautiful silver ones.

Yeah. There's people around who are so happy, and they're cheersing each other with their sort of... What's those cups? You know those cups you get, those mugs you get for camping? They've got like a particular thing covering them which you don't see on normal cups. They're kind of like metal core.

Enamel? Enamel. They're enamel mugs? Yeah, enamel mugs. You don't see those outside of camping. But you know, metal, but then enamel. Anyway. Is that the same stuff that's on our teeth?

I think we use the same word. It can't be the same chemicals. Yeah. Anyway, so there's people with enamel mugs full of Moet Chandon just cheers and is so happy they're finally there. Lowering that bucket on a rope. Or you know that thing when you see a tap has been put in an African village, and it's just going full ball. Yeah, it's just going full ball, and people are kind of going in and drinking from it out of their hand.

And I go, you guys are not using your water well. This is why you don't have any water glass. So you turn that off in between brushing your teeth. You don't know how to use taps yet, and that's fine. Why would you? You're not having much exposure to them. Yeah.

But there's a tap of Moe Shandon just going like that. Yep. Hot and cold running Shandon. I like the cold better. We could probably just

get rid of the hot. Get rid of the hot Get rid of the hot Or just at least Have it mixed up A bit earlier So it's a bit tepid Let's have two colds Yeah two colds

But then somebody Your dad would come around And go Both your taps are cold And he'd disapprove My dad specifically? No not your dad Okay

Not your dad It's just something A dad would do. Yeah, totally. He goes, what's about these Tepscals? That's the kind of thing fathers notice once you get children. Yeah. It's really hard to...

You stop reflecting inwardly. From now on, you're looking at the problems with functional things. Yeah. Plumbing. Plumbing, mostly. People saying first world problems is the only true

first world problem. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Five is fountain of youths. Youths. Youths. And six is sexual orientation or sexual orienteering.

Beautiful. And we've done it, Andy. We've done it. We're finally back. We're back in the think tank. In the think tank. It's thank you very much for listening. Yes.

To the think tank. Thank you very much for listening. For tanking. For tanking me, Andy. No worries. Let's ride on out of here. Psh. Thanks, guys. Yes, we deliver those. Goaltenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those, too.

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