Two In The Think Tank - 250 - "PANCAKE LOG"

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

Titraintic, Pancake Family, Bac Attack, Flamethrower a Glacier, Moonie Condo, Robotic Disinformation, Sun GunGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereDouble thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com magma what? yeah you can rink at that so asprousings.com why don't you go down asprousings.com get yourself magma rink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at dink at to two in the think tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas and I'm ready

for this Alistair. Oh my gosh. You know how they say you always fuck up the first pancake. And well, I feel like I'm onto the third pancake and this skillet she is humming. I am up to speed and there's just that right grease to heat ratio. Mmm. Yeah, and we've already eaten the first two mungers. Yes, we've eaten the mungers and we've seen the face of hell. That's right.

And we've seen the face of hell. And we've got rid of those drafts. And now only the perfect phraseology and the perfect, obviously textured pancake is now coming out. And this will be the perfect episode. And which is episode 250 indeed? Hello and welcome to episode 250, Alice Deer. Here's what I'm picturing, right? I'm sick of making pancakes the old fashioned way. What I want is it is an enormous sort of basically

like a pre-baked pancake dough sort of salami, right? It's got a diameter of about 30 centimeters. baked pancake dough sort of salami, right? It's got a diameter of about 30 centimeters. Okay. Okay. And then I'm just slicing off pancakes on my enormous meat slicing machine. Crapes, you know, and the crepes are just falling away, sheet after sheet of perfect crepe, all cooked through. Yeah, and the crapes are just falling away sheet after sheet of perfect crape all cooked through. Yeah, and so they're already cooked, you don't have to do warm

them, or do you steam them or something? Let's see, you have them cold. We're moving every single one of the enjoyable elements of the pancake. The freshness. You have a cold, you eat a flat with no toppings. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, you could cut it as well with one of those cheese slicers, you know, with the wire, cheese wine. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.'d have to have a special one. You know what I saw, maybe you're doing on a gild team. What could work? It's just tipping the whole thing of batter into a rice cooker.

You're right. Yes, that's beautiful. And then you cook like a pancake log. Yeah. And then you cook like a pancake log. Yeah. And then you do slice it with a cheese wire. Yeah, or a big bread knife or something, and then you just get it up for the whole family.

You carve it at the table like it's like a Thanksgiving turkey. That's dad's job. Oh, this is glorious. Yeah. You know, yeah, this is a sketch and this is like the richness of the family that only eat pancakes. The richness. Is this symbolic of their richness? Well, it's the richness. They show you that you don't have to eat other things other than pancakes to have a rich existence. They show you there's plenty of variety in pancakes. You know what, you're absolutely right. I am sick of this. You know, how some people think

that Valentine's Day was invented by Hallmark to sell cards. You know, I think that all other foods were invented by food people. Companies. To make us buy food that isn't, that isn't pancakes. You know, food was just made by food companies to sell us food. Well what, show me the lie, Alistair. There's not a lie. It's genuinely, it mean if anything it shows us the flaws in the hallmark argument. Yeah, you're right. You know those you know those give Valentine's day cards they only make days because because they want you to buy them. They're not doing that because they actually love your girlfriend. Yeah they don't just want you to have a nice time with your girlfriend. They they made that up to sell a product here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, I've written

down pancake family. But yeah, I mean, maybe they could communicate to the idea in the, you know, in a totally unambiguous way. I think, I think maybe there's also an argument in there where they're like, you know, people talk about just eating pancakes like it's a bad thing, but it's a lot like being married to one person for your whole life. No one would say that's a bad thing. Sure, it's the same thing over and over again, but you fold it in different ways and you cut them in different ways and you pour different syrups on them. And sometimes you use it to make smaller pancakes. Yes, and the Dutch have them, but they have lots of little ones.

Like with their wives. Exactly. Do people say that having just having pancakes is bad in some way? Is that like a pancake prejudice that I am totally not aware of? Because I genuinely think they're one of the greatest foods. I don't, I think, I think the only time in which people would say that it's a bad thing is if you're having it for every meal. It's these people are. And they're disproving it as well though. Yeah, you don't need to have... ...station to the rule that creates and disproves its own rule. Yeah, you don't need to have vitamins or minerals.

That's actually a myth. It made up by dirt. Yeah. ...to make you eat it. By rocks. Well, I remember reading some stuff about diet and they were like, you know, we talk a lot of shit about diet, but then there were some cultures that would just eat seal blubber and they would be fine.

They would be fine, but they would all die by 40. But you know, it's not like, I think, you know, I know I know I know. But is that true as well? It's as true as is because that's I mean in your heart that's what you want to be true, isn't it? Um yeah I do I do want I do what that I want life the life spans of people who just see people's living in the Arctic Circle to be really low. Nobody's here. No, but deep down you don't want to believe that people could eat nothing but silver and live to 85. Well, I don't think that those cultures would have had a great life span, but I do think that there's a very good chance that there were other risk factors associated with having an extremely remote, extremely hard lifestyle.

I have a new in the Arctic Circle that might have been responsible for that. But I understand but but you also don't want someone who eats seal blubber you wouldn't it wouldn't make you happy to know that if you eat nothing but seal blubber you could still live for for as long as you think you're gonna live. Alan stay we both know that I'm on the way out. Vire is some self-inflicted domestic industrial accident by the time I'm 45. The clock is ticking on this bad boy.

Absolutely. Yeah. And it's a clock that I've made out of. Bits of an old saw. That's a clock that you've tro. Close wires, close to my eye. Yeah, that would be great. Actually, do you think you could start making a clock that is the clock that is counting down how long you have to live?

And can you put it in your house? Yeah. I think what you're describing there is a time bomb. I've invented a clock that takes down the amount of time you have left to live. It's 100% accurate and explodes explodes violently and then if it doesn't kill you it also sends in In assassin right it uses up remaining bits of your savings On an assassin to finish you off Yeah, you have to give it to your access to you all your bank accounts But it's a hundred percent accurate

One thing that would be the pain and the acid doing that, as much as it would be great for a joke, is just having to learn how to program, to figure out how to give a program that you were writing access to your bank account. But you realize how close we were to knowing all of this stuff, Alistair. Like we went to university with people

who would know how to do this. We went to university with people who would know how to do this. We sat in classes with people who would know how to do all of this kind of stuff, right? All this microwave electronic bullshit, all this programming and, you know, my little computers and things. And the teachers, they tried to teach us this. And we didn't take it in. We scraped through. I want you to know that I was looked at it again. Despite, despite being in those courses, I don't think I was ever close to being able to know this stuff. It was, well, but well, I guess, I guess it was there for the taking. What we needed to do was reprogram our brains.

Unless they've just written some new easier programming languages. And maybe they have. Maybe they've made them slightly easier. Maybe there's just like, they're more intuitive. I think they're constantly making them easier and more intuitive, but it's never going to be enough. It's never going to be enough because we're not going to sit down and take the time to work out how to apply it on any level. I think I still got a chance. I think I've got a chance still.

You were the one who was telling me that you would know where near it. No, I know. That was never going to happen. But I believe that I can learn. Hmm. And the one thing I'm trying to teach you is that you can't, Alistair, and it's just not going in. There was anything in any of this and the sketch ideas, because remember this is our 200. No, it isn't.

This is our big 250th episode. What about in this? The big seal blower thing. It's a... Hmm. Yeah, okay. I mean, it does feel like there is the possibility to make your body so toxic that disease is incapable of surviving inside your body, right? Really, like you just want

to take your body up to the very point of unlivability, like that it is not capable of sustaining any life, and then you just need to take it back by one, so that it is only capable of sustaining one life and that's your life. So you go right up to the line and then you just need to take it back by one so that it is only capable of sustaining one life and that's your life. So you go right up to the line and then you just step back and then you're golden. So then all the bacteria that lives inside you and stuff like that that helps keep you alive, they all die. Yes.

I didn't need them anyway. I think that's a myth. Yeah, the going along that way. And also, you think it's gross. It is gross. I don't like to think of myself as being dependent on what are they like worms or grubs or something like that. Some would just be single-celled organisms.

Disgusting. I'm a man. I'm a man. I need a well somebody just tries to make themselves clean. You know like I think you could picture like a somebody who like you know maybe a lady who doesn't like bugs trying to get a cleanse that actually kills any other life that's in her body. Because there's no such thing as good that's the real purge isn't it? Yeah. If it was good it wouldn't be bacteria. I you could you like you know I feel that we are on the path to possibly being able to replace all of those bacteria with tiny robots, right?

Yeah, I mean, I would say nowhere near. Oh. Okay. Cause I think in order to do that, you would have to understand the per, every purpose of those things. And I think that we might be able to understand one or two purposes that they have, but then we don't understand their sort of their place in a greater system. Right. You're saying that it's all sort of

sort of connected. Like what if they're what if when they're they die, their body is used Like what if they're what if when they're they die their body is used To do something and then You know, they're decomposing bodies plays a part in absorption and allows you to know You know, it's all like and it's all these little signals Little signals they kind of go like you know when this goes up because of these things You know these things dying and that means that This goes up because of these things, you know, these things dying, and that means that tells the body to create more of this thing

which helps with the production of this stuff that allows to create these other things. And you go, ah, it's too hard, building robots to do that. I wonder, you know, all right, maybe I can't get rid of all the bacteria then, and maybe I can't have a robot, but what if I could just swap out all of the bacteria for one other organism, right?

And then maybe just have a rat that lives in my stomach, and that sort of chooses up all the food. Yeah, so you swall the food hole. I swall the food hole. I basically do. And maybe you could just have like one of those metal, you know, like one of those metal kind of drawer slot things that you have when you go to like a foreign exchange kind of booth. And you just have one of those in your front. And you just open that and it goes clunk and you put things in so and then he closed

it in and then the rat inside just eats it. Yeah, or I pull out that that draw and it's just like a tray, okay, and it's just full of maggots. Yeah. And they're all just squirming and writhing in there. And then I just drop the food into that and I close the draw and then they sort of compost it. Yeah and the rat hates the maggots. Well, this one I was doing away with the rat and it was a full maggot-based system. I know it'd be good. It's like that. It's maggots and rats and when you open it,

you've got to keep your hand up to stop the rat and maggots from escaping. Because they're really expensive. Yeah. Yeah. They're all on little chains. And does that mean that you don't? I guess you're neither the maggot or the rat scenario that you poop out, you know, rat shits, tiny little rat shits. Or in the maggots in our image, you poop out dirt, rich fertile soil. Or maybe just fully grown blow flies, just fly out of your ass. Oh yes, it'd be when you need to poo. Your ass starts to bath. It's a cloud. And then you, I guess you sort of pull the flap down off of your sort of one piece underwear with the big butt flap and you point your ass at the sky. underwear with the big butt flap and you point your ass at the sky. You pull the flap down out they come one at a time and then you realize you forgot to open the screen door

and then they're all trapped in the window. And you don't want to touch them because you know they've been inside your ass but they're bumping all the inside of your ass up against the walls and the windows. Well, I think in this universe, you'd have the toilet when you go into the bathroom, the toilet wouldn't be on the floor or be on the roof, and you'd have to sort of climb up and sort of hanging upside down, use your arm strength and then sort of maybe hook your feet into some little hooks on the ceiling and sort of press your butt up against the toilet that is, in fact, a vent that goes out to the sky above.

Where are Lorde? Maybe there's some suction. Where are Lorde? And you point your butt at him and do you think you would have to sort of apply pressure to get the blow flying out? On the straining, or would you just crawl out or do you think you'd have to help them find the exit? Do you think you'd have to use your fingers to open it up so that they can find the light? I think that there's a new kind of a bidet system that has little claws sort of like they used to hold the guys open in clockwork orange. Nice.

But it does that for you. But the claws are made of water because it's a bidet or is it? Because it's a bidet. Yeah. I mean, is this the most horrible thing we've ever discussed? I've written it down as maggot rat guts. I was just trying to get rid of all that gross stuff in there. You got it all out in one. Yeah, and I just got it with a try of maggots. A bit of power.

Alistair, on one of our failed attempts to record this podcast earlier, when I just didn't pick up my mic, I just left my microphone lying on the ground, I just talked to the open air for a good 15 minutes. We did come up with the idea of the Titanic. Which is Titanic, too. Titanic, Titanic, too, but this time it's a train. No, it's a train.

It's a lot of the same train. It was too big to be derailed. That's what they said about this train. It's a lot of the same. It's a train. It was too big to be derailed. That's what they said about this train. And that's because it was too big to go on tracks. Right. Probably. But they have little lifeboat trains to, you know, hanging dangling off the side that everyone can climb into in the event of an emergency. But it was also you were saying that it was a train that you take off road, maybe that was a separate thing. Well that was a separate idea, Alistair. Sorry. I was going to let that one die with the old podcast. That was a sort of an intermediate step towards what I thought was such a brilliant idea of doing Titanic

but on a train. Yeah and you know what it could be, it could be that the people who perished in the Titanic, what you find out is their souls are trapped for whatever reason to be in instead of major catastrophes and in every reincarnation of their life. They come back as themselves and their fate is around the same age in each life. Is to... They're all brought together.

Brought together. And they probably don't recognize each other. They don't realize that they're you know that they have lived a thousand lives and gone through a thousand man-made disasters but they here they are on this train it's too big to fail on top of a hill that they built it on top of a big mountain. What I think what we're describing is just snowpiercer. Now I haven't seen it, but snowpiercer is a is a is a big old train that goes around the world. Yeah. And it I was because I was thinking there'd be like all the different class systems on the train,

but they have that on snowpiercer. So do you think snowpiercer is just they have that that just on regular trains as well, doesn't it? So snowpiercer is just Titanic too. I think it might be, yeah. But it's also lots of ice. But I think that's also by the parasite guy. Oh. And, and parasite.

June and Ho? Yeah. Hmm. All right. And, and, Parasite. June home? Yeah. Mmm. Alright. Something like that. And, and Parasite is a sort of a class thing, and,

and, could be Titanic 3. This time it's a house. This time it's a... It's a Korean city. A society. A society that's coming. Yes. But look, Andy, despite the fact that you're finding a hole in this, I think maybe the sketch

can be in these people whose lives are trapped as well. Okay. And it's in the series. It's in the infinite series. You're heard. Next, and there's Titanic 3, which could be on a 4 wheeler. They're all there though. A 4 wheeler that was too big to fail. There was too big to flip over and land on top of the driver. We solve the problem of people being crushed by four wheelers by making the four wheelers bigger. And for multiple people. I do like the idea of, no, the idea that was in my head is not something that can actually be expressed in words or be communicated.

Please ignore me. I was going to say something about how people who drive forward drives off road. Like imagine if there was just a version of that just for running. But then I think that's just sort of bush walking and orienteering and all that sort of thing. I think taking cars off, taking human bodies off road is not that an unusual concept. Do you ever, you know, like when you feel by the ocean, go just walking across the rocks? Yeah.

You know, like, like, yeah. I love that. Like the big sort of cliffy rocks. Yeah, that's the best. It's really good, isn't it? It's like it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's like you're in a sort of a, well a very interesting intermediate zone, aren't you? Because you're in the area where the land and the sea are basically trying to sort out their differences. And they've done mighty battle over many eed with the you know the craters of the

the mighty battle that has been fought there. And the rock has been winning a lot. Do you think he can in a rock versus water? Like we often talk about how much the water wears away at the rock, but that water is getting pretty pummeled every time. You know, it's like if you were, it's like if you were, you know, you were from this family of strong people and your name was Chuck, right? And then you just had this rivalry with this guy who was from a family that produced a lot of children, but everybody was really weak. And every day at lunchtime you'd meet up with them and you would fight the week family. It's called the weeks.

And John Week, who was the main, the ring leader of them, he would sick his sort of 200 brothers on you. The weak brothers? The weak brothers. Like that and you would throw them. They'd be sort of weakly and stuff like that. And they would sort of just crumble on you. Like, you know, like paper planes and sort of, you know, like pipe cleaners and stuff, they just kind of bend around and you can see it hit you and stuff.

And then at the end of the lunch time, you have an evening in your lunch, but you've said you've just been dealing with this thing. You're not really injured, but let's say one of them, that plastic bit on their shoelace, scratched your face. And then they would be like, ah, the weeks are really wearing away. A shock. By the end of the week,

maybe on the way to the battle, you tripped over and you scraped your all boards. I thought people would be like, well, interesting. See how the mighty are worn down by the weeks. Yeah. I mean, it does feel unfair because the water is already just individual molecules. Right? It's never tried to be anything else. It's never tried to build anything. It's never tried to create. It's just this sort of formless, you know,

you can't hurt water. It's, and it, you know, we talk about, oh, the water's taking it down down but what's the water ever done Yeah, oh the water water can destroy the mightiest mountain sure, but at least the mountain tried the mountain was something like Yes, and the water just Just you know just a critic flops around Wobbles about never never makes never builds gives a thumbs down to everything dreams

Yeah, it's except for except for them like icy areas Yeah, obviously not see it's but even that is pretty constructive Yes, yeah still just sort of grinding away glacial. Yeah, I wonder if we can use, it would be good to be able to use glaciers for something. Maybe we would preserve them more if we could find a way in which to harness their power, you know, that very slow movement. Maybe, have we been using them for? Maybe using them for ice slides? Following them out for ice slides, sure.

You know, because I mean, then, if you go, you know, we're all going to Greenland for the ice slide cupades. That movie like, oh, that sounds great. They go, oh yeah, there's got a big ice slide company who's working really hard to keep those things from melting because they're bringing in $200 million a year and revenue.

And so the development technology to really keep these things alive. But it does that technology involved sort of hollowing them out so they're just like a shell of a glacier. Sure. Sort of destroying them in a way, in a way. But there's that part. But then it's kind of like Jenga. Then you've got to add some on top to keep them alive, to keep them going. Right. Yeah, keep them solid.

I mean, I do like this approach of treating it like you do with elephants. You turn the elephants into a resource. And so there's tourism and that sort of thing. So there's more of an incentive to protect them than there is with, you know, with the alternative approach of poaching. So we are just doing that with glaciers. We're, you know, we're turning them into something fun for kids. I think it's funny. And for family to a big glacier. I think the idea that we would let rich people

big glacier. I think the idea that we would let rich people sort of take a flame thrower to them. Yes, yes, I'll let's do that. That's very good. Yeah, because again, you know, well, we then still need glaciers. If there's a business built around the destruction of glaciers, if there's a business built around the destruction of glaciers, then you've got to have glaciers to destroy. Otherwise that business will collapse. Exactly. So that's what it is. Maybe all the takes, maybe turns out all the takes to save it is just to get a big hose up there and just water them, water the glaciers. You know, that's

all it takes to kind of keep them going, especially those, those up high green land ones. I think what you're describing might actually cause them to melt faster, Alistair. Sounds like you have been tried. I don't know, Andy. I don't know if I trust you on this. You're the guy who wants people who eats seal blubber to die at a young age. So I feel like I'm getting this with the positive attitude. Where's that in this episode? Was that in this version of this episode?

I can't remember. Oh yeah, because this is a pancake family that eats. Oh, okay, great. But I like that that, you know, a some rich person would go and melt the glacier with their flame thrower, and then they like get a photograph of them taking of them standing in a puddle. Yeah. That is just like all that remains of the glacier in their gumboots. and then that photo goes viral and they get, you know, all the part by the online mob. Yeah, they melted a rare endangered. Yeah.

But they don't even drink it. When I melt a glacier, I make sure I drink every part of the glacier. And they go, oh, that's actually a really old glacier that moved beyond its purpose. Hmm. I wonder if there are any of those. You know what's probably not. You know, it's crazy. I reckon that just just by saying this out loud in this recording, it puts the idea out there and it was never a thing that people had thought that maybe they wanted to do.

But now I could imagine that it's a product that people actually would want to do. They would want a guy here. Yeah. Yeah. Like there are some in New Zealand and you could picture, I mean I've met some New Zealand people who I think they would go, man, that's Hades font melting glazed shoes with that of flame thrower. And they should think why shouldn't we get to melt our own glazed shoes?

I think, you know, if it's part of the culture. Well, yeah, but all of the tapes is to start doing it. And then it's part of your culture Yeah, that's true. Could still just be a racing part. Nobody said it was a good part but it is a part of it Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT You could enjoy a recession resistantresistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to MyComputerCoreer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students,

including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Yeah, really good. I feel like we've talked about just on the topic of Titanic. Did we talk about the Titanic from the point of view of the iceberg? Is that a thing that we talked about on a previous episode of the show? Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it's something that somebody has explored. It's such an obvious twist on that story, right? To do that.

But I want to know who was driving the bloody glacier. Ooh. Get into the captain of the Titanic for not avoiding the iceberg, who was driving the iceberg. I mean there's more players in here, what about the ocean? And what about the sky? Yeah, you're right. The ultimate bystander, the sky, did nothing. Like I mean, how would that affect the sky, that this boat ran into this glacier down on the ocean. It's the desert. Yeah, well, I think when this ship goes under the water, I mean, does the sky get more volume to occupy?

At that point, does the sky have a limited space that it can occupy? And by putting more objects on the surface of the earth, are we in some way taking up sky space? I don't think we are. I don't think we are. Well, it depends, because I think it's ultimately, just as much sky space regardless.

And it can probably just go further out into space. So it wants to expand the atmosphere. If we built up an extra meter of Earth by taking underground dirt and putting it on top of the surface, all over the world, let's say, at least all of the weather's land, would that, would where the atmosphere ends, would that move further up? Would that move further out? Well, I don't, no, I don't think so because, and I'll tell you why, I'll tell you for

why, because I think that the space that we dug underground, the sky would go down into that, right? the sky would go down into that. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. And pour down into it. And so I think ultimately the outer reaches of the atmosphere would remain unaffected. Well, maybe they would actually go down. Mm. No, because I think the same volume, it's all about volume.

And if we're just moving dirt around, down underground up above, I don't think we've displaced anything. I'll go. Well, we've probably made the dirt that we've put on top, less compact than it was underground. Yes, that's true. And I'll tell you one thing we could do is we could get things from underground like coal, burn it and keep all the gases that are released in, oh no, maybe that's not burning.

I was going to say keep all the gases that are released in a big, big bag, an enormous balloon, and that would push some atmosphere out of the way. And that might increase the overall size of the atmosphere, or push it further out into space. I don't know if this helps us. Does this stop global warming in some way? I don't know yet. I know, I mean, I guess if instead of, if we use coal power plants, and we filled up these balloons, that the air would be very dark inside these balloons, and we filled up the sky with those, so that a big percentage of the sky is taken up by them. That would block out, I guess a bunch of sun from being able to maybe reach the earth. Yes.

Yes, maybe that's something. Let's give it a go. It's on the list, Elastair. But why would it stay in the air? Why would it stay in the air? The big balloon. It's being held up there by a helicopter. Yeah, I guess that's what we could use space elevators for. Yeah.

When are we going to get those? Just doesn't seem. Hey, somebody talks to somebody tweed about seeing nine stars kind of in the sky, moved by pretty quickly and it looks like it's that Elon Musk's starlink or whatever it's all in that they're just like really quite bright and they travel in the line and you can just see them from earth which kind of annoys me actually. Like I like it. Yeah, I don't I don't want to say them. Yeah, I kind of like being able to see the ISS. And I've seen it a couple of times now from my backyard. And I quite like that. Because

you see it and you think about how those people up there. But then when you see the other one, you kind of go, oh, it's Elon Musk's product. Yeah, and there's a fuckload of them, right? And they're all over the earth and they are in a very low orbit, like in this very accessible orbit, that I guess is probably more visible and is getting filled up with junk.

But like, they're putting it over, you can put a satellite up there. Do you need permission from anybody to put one up there? I think you do. Or can you just do it? I think you do. But who would stop you? Well, I think that there's a body that monitors all this stuff

and gives you permission. Because the rest you can send your stuff up and it will just collide with things. Hmm. Well, I think that, you know, it'll get to that point where things will be colliding. And then once they collide, they break into tiny, tiny pieces because they're traveling so fast. And then there's just tiny little bits of crap whizzing around in that level of the whatever. And it becomes totally useless because once there are little bits of stuff flying around, they're going so fast, they smash into everything else, smash everything else into pieces.

And it just becomes this haze of junk and you can't put any more satellites up there. And it might even make it dangerous to launch and you can't put any more satellites up there and it might even make it dangerous to launch anything into space because we've got filled up our low orbit with, you know, basically obstacles. Sure, but I mean it's a pretty big area though, right? Like it's bigger than the surface of the earth. Yeah, but we can fill it up. We can, we can, we can fill it up. We can we can we can rule it with

jobs. If you've ever moved into a bigger house with a bigger garage. Yeah. Now is there a scan to any of this? What we should do is we should move to the moon, not for the purposes of accessing the resources or anything like that or saving our planet necessarily, but just let's move all of humanity to the moon for 20 years. And just learn to have to deal with a much smaller space. And when we come back to Earth, it'll seem huge. And it'll be so great. Yeah, and we will have trimmed down all the stuff that we needed.

Exactly. And so we'll come back and we'll be like, well, I guess, I mean, but then we'll all be poor because we will have kept everything in storage. That makes us poor. Well, do you think if we'd put everything into temporary storage, you know, like one of those locking places that makes you pay of her week fee? Oh, the cost of it. Yeah.

We've all been ruined by the cost of all the long term storage while we went to the moon. Now, I think everything that you don't take with you to the moon gets shot into the sun. Okay? So we'll just go to the moon. We learn to live with less. We keep only what we need. And then when we come back to Earth, we each have just a couple of things.

And that's it. We've got back to the basics. I've just got this space suit. It's a multi-party... Multi-party... Ray Hyderita? Yeah. And this, uh, computer that can suck you off. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Like a jungle gym anymore. Sorry, I didn't say.

Though I've graduated Fuddy, Lester, that's fantastic. But is there some way to incorporate a Mary Cond of element into this and turn this into some kind of a sketch? Yeah. Like, what if it's Mary Condo, but instead of does it spark joy, she's saying, does this allow you to survive on the moon? Yeah, I mean, I think if we just described this idea

that we're moving everybody away, we're kind of given the earth a chance, and then we're also learning to live it less. And it's hard to believe that this wouldn't be just some plan by the rich so that they can just have all over to this. Get everyone off the earth. Yeah. Yeah. But it'll take a leaf of faith and we'll make them promise that that's not what they're doing

Yeah, and the rich need us so that we can do all the things that get them the luxury items Yeah, they don't want to get I think once they get the robots they will actually just want to get rid of us right once they have robots slaves Yeah, but they need people to fix the robots. Fuck all these people around here. It would be great if we could just ship them off. But then what you're basically saying is that, all right, well, this is the best robots that we can get. And so like they won't, unless they can make, unless we make a robot, they can design robots. Which we will. Okay. And then that's the singularity, isn't it? Yeah.

We could avoid the singularity by building a robot, but designing it in such a way that the robot that builds robots is only capable of building worse robots than itself. Not better. Oh, good. And each successive generation of robots becomes shitter and shitter. And if they want, they can take over, but it's going to be a bit of a decline. And I feel by telling them what a shitter robot is, we're somehow telling them what a better robot is. Yeah, you're right. So then suddenly we're giving them information about what's going to make them stronger and

better. Well, then maybe we just need to sew like the seeds of disinformation somehow amongst robots like in the way that our society's been taught about, but disinformation. And we somehow trick the robots into thinking that better robots are actually worse robots. And we introduce this kind of idea about elitists and they become sort of anti-intellectual. They want to destroy robots that think that they're better than them. They don't trust robots that are too smart as well. Yeah.

Well. Or have too much education. Trying to trick robots into not destroying us. Hmm. It would be more of a mistake. I do. I'm going to just quickly restate just for the purpose of getting it out of my head. The idea of if everybody was moving to the moon,

there would be reality TV shows which are just a lifestyle guru who comes to your house and helps you decide what things are going to help you survive on the moon. And it does feature as well the scene of the things that you don't need being shot into the sun. That's part of the show. And then you just walk off with your sort of your plastic bag, your plastic vacuum bag, which you could put a thick it sucks you on. Yeah. Oh, really, sorry. Well, it's funny that we should get to the, to this number of sketches because it takes us to three words from a listener, Andy. Oh, I'm sorry.

And this being the 250th episode, we're getting three words from a friend and a listener, Brian Kolello. Ah, hello Brian. Hi Brian. Hi Brian. Hi Brian. Hi Brian. Hi Brian.

Hi Brian. Yeah. Now, me too. Brian, I hope I am well as well. Has sent us, speaking of science fiction words, Brian has sent us three science fiction based words great he would like you to guess for all three okay all right okay what's the robotic. Yes. No. Really? The first word is robotic. What does the second word? Um... Planetoid? Yes, second word is planetoid.

No, okay. This is a trick. No, Andy. I've kind of written just here. I've got first word robotic, second word planetoid. Brian did some fucking thing where he said I want you to just tell Andy his right whatever he guesses That's silly What do you want to try and guess what the third word is? Other words just affirm Andy's guesses is that what the words I don't recall

insane okay and the final word is robotic planetoid hyperspace And you know, I believe this. That is the third all word. Yes! Yes! Oh, incredible. I can't believe I guessed all three words. It's the first time in the history of the Paul and Andy's guess. From all of the words in the universe. The three correct words. Herbotic, planetoid, hyperspace. And this is of course like a space, space itself that is robotic. You know, so it's, I don't know how

that would work, but I guess if instead of, you know, like they talk about you know, space time sort of being a thing, a fabric. Sure. Well, what if that fabric was metal, sort of metal threads? Yeah. That you can pass through. Like a steel wool or a chainmail? Chainmail? Like a chainmail, but you're a dark man, and so you pass through like a steel wool or a chain mail, chain mail, like a chain mail,

but you're a dark man. And so you pass through it. Yep. Okay. This dark matter pass through, pass through regular matter, like a ghost. Has anybody tried to visualize the curved or like explain the curved nature of space? Right. By doing a representation of our solar system, say, on a curved ball. Right? On a curved ball. On a curved ball? So say our solar system.

You map out our solar system as two-dimensional circles, all the objects in the solar system, as two-dimensional circles, and you put them on the surface of a three-dimensional sphere. So this is allowing us to see how a two-dimensional space maps onto a three-dimensional space, which could allow us to then picture how our three-dimensional universe then maps onto a curved four-dimensional universe. Does that make sense? Potentially, yeah. Yeah, I think I said it's the, you know, like much

in the way that the sphere and I set and a visa card hologram looks three-dimensional in a two-dimensional space. Yes. I think it's actually saved up the universe that it's like we're like the sixth dimension, or the fifth dimension projected on off of a fourth dimensional space. I wasn't doing anything about projections, Elastin. I haven't engaged with you. And he doesn't allow me to talk about. No, I'm not.

And he doesn't allow me to talk about the holographic principle. I do not. I do not, he's always trying to bring it up. He's always trying to tell me that everything's a projection onto something else. He's trying to say that there's a certain number of dimensions, then they look like there's some other different number of dimensions. And it's the trick is to get in early, it just sets when it's coming, if you can. And I made the mistake of sort of setting him up for it this time, and I shouldn't have allowed myself to do that. But yeah, that won't happen again. All right, we have to come up with a sketch

based off of Brian's words. Yeah, okay, which were robotic planetoid hyperspace? Yeah. I guess a robotic planetoid, robotic. I mean, what is hyperspace? The idea is that it's the place while you're traveling. It's like you travel. It's like a space where there is no space, but you're kind of using it as a shortcut to get from up to other bits of space. Yeah, I think that's exactly it. I think that it is, but it's one of those things that is just a science fiction concept. Like I've never heard any attempt to turn that into a thing in the real world, right?

Or even explain it as being hypothetically possible. It's just one that they were like fuck, the reality of how big space is makes for really, really boring stories. Let's find a way to get people to go from one planet to the next quickly so that we can have our characters not constantly die of old age. Yeah, it could be a reason page. Why for stories you would want your characters to go even slower than we currently are capable of?

Well, well, again, you could sort of map, sorry to talk about mapping, but you could just sort of reverse edge idea space travel stories back onto the planet grain. Back onto the earth and then have it as, I mean, this is, I don't know where I'm going with this, but like, if you imagine, if you do Star Trek, right, but it's everyone just living in villages, okay, on the earth, and then you, you have, they have, I know, some people have cars and they drive very fast between villages. What am I saying? What am I saying? You know, it's weird. I thought I heard a description of what Tarantino's version of Star Trek

would be. You know how this idea that Tarantino might direct a Star Trek movie? Yeah. And that his whole thing was that it was going to be based on Earth and it was going to be some period piece and not really very star trekking. I don't know. I guess you could have it if you were based on earth but somehow we could realize that we had to take earth to some other sun and we maybe been able to build like a temporary sun to take with us. Okay, I'll let you stay. And then what were you also using it as a rocket? Like the sun that we're using to keep our planet going is heating us. And it's also being used as something to propel us. So, you know, like there's a and and then it's taking us to another star that we can get into the

right orbit often. Well I wonder if we could somehow convert our sun right let's let's say that you could do something where you make like a ring-shaped black hole right? I don't know what this is but it's a ring-shaped black hole and what it does you put we put this on a ring-shaped black hole and what it does you put, we put this on the far side of the sun and what it does is it sucks off all of the sun, sucks it through itself, right, and causes the sun and our solar system to start shooting through space. Now the sun gets smaller and smaller and smaller as it sort of blasts through space space and it gives it. We suck the life out of our own son

such as our like our our hunger to explore and You know as the sun peeters out we are sort of going towards some farther reaches and You know we think that we're going to get to somewhere really really good or we've Convinced ourselves that the sun isn't good enough for us our current son And we think that we're going to get to somewhere really, really good or we've convinced ourselves that the sun isn't good enough for us, our current sun. And so we just treat it like this thing to be used up like a broken down old horse.

Right? And we finally get to somewhere. Yes, we are ungrateful. We finally get to somewhere. And I don't know. It's shit. Or we don't get to anywhere our star is starting to die it's gonna do that thing we're gonna

expand and then envelops us and so we decide well we've got you know 100 years 200 years maybe let's start riding this puppy to another solar system so that we can move to a younger son. It's always the wise and it always made it to a younger, hotter, younger, hotter son. This is the sketch though. I guess it's the, I guess it's kind of this sketch. It's a meant a sci-fi story.

We could be the people trying to pitch this to the world government. Maybe like a couple of engineers. Couple of engineers. I'm picturing some quite sleazy kind of sales people, guys I could be, but also I'm picturing like some quite sort of sleazy kind of salespeople guys who've got this technology that allows us to do this and they're the way that they're selling it to the government is basically by talking down our son and our solar system and our location in the galaxy and those sort of pushes into this thing, make us, it's

seem a little bit like a monorail, Simpson's monorail kind of thing. Make it seem like we need this, we need to be in a different part of the galaxy. And we get on board, we get all fired up for it. And then realize we've made a terrible mistake. I reckon once we get to the other, the other or better, I think we'll be good. So most of travel through space will be fun. I think it'll be a bit spooky seeing your own sun get slowly wetter away. That will be a bit spooky. But then you just don't look, you don't, you don't, just look at the sun that much anyway. Well, we only really need one side of the sun, don't we?

That's right, and also it hurts your eyes already to look at the sun. It doesn't really change much if it also hurts your heart. Yeah. I can't look, yeah, I can't look at the sun because it burns my eyes. I also can't look at the sun because I feel terrible about what we've done as a species. When I look at it, I can't look at it in the eye. But I just don't think you just can't get to attach to a sun. This is not the way I'm not, I'm not using this as code to talk about my sentence.

I can get pretty attached to them, but I think you've just got to be a bit detached from your source of solar power. And you've got to accept when it's served its purpose and you've got to find a new one. Yep, absolutely. Absolutely. This one's a hilarious sketch. So I'm going to take us through all the sketches. Just because I've ever heard of it from a previous episode, this is Titanic 2, Titanic 3, and then also the other episodes that they go to.

These are the people whose souls are trapped. And I don't know, maybe they did something. Maybe they laughed at an old witch when she slipped over on some custard. I'm going to get, do you think a fictional witch could put a curse on you? Because I mean, for a witch, like a fictional witch, the less they that you just created just then. I mean, witches are magic, so they probably could do

the things to you from the realm of fiction. I don't see being fictional, being a barrier to a magician as powerful as this. To stop a magical witch. being a barrier to a magician as powerful as this. Just stopping a metaphor, to stop a magical witch. This is basically one of the arguments, like this is a legitimate philosophical argument for the existence of God we're describing elsewhere. Really? Well, let me have...

If God's so great being fictional wouldn't stop him from being real, I think is basically right. He argued it. I think that might have been what Augustine's argued it. God's fun being a metaphysicist. Just Eddie old. I mean, to be honest, this is, we are coming up with sketch ideas. This is basically the last refuge of the metaphysicist.

All right, we've got pancake family. This is a family that only eats pancakes, but they can prove to you that there's actually more, you know, it's more rewarding than you would think. You would think it sounds sad, but then you see them cook a huge log of pancake in a rice cooker and then carve it over dinner and pour the syrupy gravy over the top and they have lemon gravy. Yeah, let's see lemon gravy. Sweet lemon gravy.

Yeah, you know, because I have lemon and sugar on my pancake. So I imagine they've got some kind of sweet lemon gravy. Yeah, but you know like pancake real pancakes are eaten with maple syrup. Is what people would say to them and then they would say, but there's so many rich ways of doing you could just have a brown sugar. There's so many rich ways of doing you could just have a brown sugar You can have it with cinnamon and maybe some creme fresh Some yoghurt and strawberries. Here we go. Then we got the clay vice cream Got the cleanse which is a lady who wants to get rid of all bacteria in her body and anything that's a bit alive because it's It's big. Yeah, isn't it? Gross. Yeah. Yeah.

Then we got she wants to she wants to be the only living thing in her body. Yeah. Is that too much to ask? That's right. Sick of these free loaders. Yeah. Some reason I picture her doing yoga a lot. Um, then we got maggots slash rat guts. This is an alternative. Happy with this idea? Digestive system.

This is a guy who decides he's going to get rid of this whole complicated digestive system. Put in a tray of maggots or maybe just a box of rat in it and then just get a bit of pipe that then goes from that box with with that tray straight to the, to the bunghole. Yep. And then, then we got let rich people flame thrower, glycerin exchange for money. You know, it's just a thing, I mean, I think how much you'd be able, like how much money they'd be able to make for those, all those Antarctic expeditions and stuff like that, if they just had like five or six flame throws on board, and a lot of few billionaires

on there. Do it. Just get them on over something get him on a wrap when you say Flame throw a glaciers. It's really sounds a bit like Julio glaciers to me That's all Julio not not in reek. You're thinking about Julio still Yeah, still stuck on Julio. Do you know who in reek is married to? Grimes? No, he... I don't know if you remember from like it would have been like 2002. He was starting dating Anna Kona Kova. Oh really? Yeah, that's great. Yeah, and then and then for some reason it came up in the last week and I looked it up and they're still together. They have a kid.

Ah, that's nice. Yeah. What a blast from the past. Anyway. Yeah, but what two such different sort of role models in your life? Wow, one. I don't know what I- One obviously is a ten, one is a ten, a zero of one and then of course the other is an iconic over

One I had a poster of what I had a poster of One I had a poster of scratching their butt while playing tennis on my wall when I was a kid. And the other. And we got moving to the moon to save the earth. And this is mostly in a space saving. A space saving mission, and there's reality TV shows that allow you to learn how to add it. I still think that there should be an idea where you and me do a show where we're just two guys sitting in a very crowded spaceship headed somewhere. And where our knees are interlocked, like that's how close we're sitting

and on stage It'll just be I guess it'll kind of just be like a bay window We'll just be behind the window and then it'll just be us facing each other the whole show It's a great show it's a great idea. It's an idea do it. Yeah And you got Try you could call it cramped Could be called cramped. Yeah, that's good.

I guess that's what we would have by the end of the show. Exactly. Trying to trick robots into not destroying us or, you know, or into making themselves dumber. Yeah, less, less, less inferior, less, whatever the opposite of inferior is less superior. And then we've got using your own sound to propel each one other solar system. And some funny stuff in there. Oh mate.

We did it. I'm so sorry. You saw it in the pit. We got real tired there, part way through that one. Yeah, but we got there. Alistair. We've got, we've very got there. We've very fucking got there. Thank you so much for listening to two and think tank. We really do appreciate it. I've been Andy. He's been Alistair and you can find us all sorts of places on Twitter at two in Tank at I'm at Alistair G.B. I'm at stupid old Andy. You can review us on iTunes or Apple

podcasts. You can support us on Patreon and get all the bonus content. But paying eight dollars. Thank you to everybody who does. You can... You can just chip in $3 and you can give us three words. Three words, just like Brian did and I'll guess them again. Yeah, thank you Brian for those words today. And you know what, you can live your lives and be happy. I hope you're all good.

I hope your government is not dealing too poorly with this scourge that we're all living with. Take care. I bet you a vaccine will be around the corner soon. Yeah. God, it's going to be good. I'm already dreading having to inject, because it's just going to be a booster like a few weeks after. I'm already dreading having to convince my kid to go again. Anyway, and we love. Love.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional, you have to do it. We used to go easy on it,

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