Two In The Think Tank - 261 - "C.S.SCI FI"

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

Astronaughty, Future C.S.I, Medulla Ob-Long Sentence, A Higher Culting, Hermit Crabman, Dirt Angels, PokeDogsWatch Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun - Trailer HERECheck out Andy on Do Go On talking a...bout Matthew Brady, The Gentleman BushrangerGet Magma here: https://sospresents.com/programs/magmaHey, why not listen to Al's meditation/comedy podcast ShusherDon't forget TITTT Merch is now available on Red Bubble. Head over here and grab yourselves some swag....and you can support the pod by chipping in to our patreon here (thank you!)Two in the Think Tank is a part of the Planet Broadcasting family You can find us on twitter at @twointankAndy Matthews: @stupidoldandyAlasdair Tremblay-Birchall: @alasdairtb and instaAnd you can find us on the Facebook right hereVacuum sealed thanks to George for producing this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:43 from our great mites. Nuts go bad, let's go bad, let's go bad, if you leave them in your closet, let's go bad, let's go bad, let's go bad, if you leave them in your closet. Yeah. Hello and welcome to Two in the Think Tank, the show where we come up with five sketch ideas. I'm Andy, you know? And I am Alistair, George William, Tromblay Burchall. And I love that.
Starting point is 00:01:06 And nuts go bad if you leave them in the closet. But I don't think nuts go bad in the absentee like in a vacuum. You know? Well, I didn't say if you leave them in the back, but I don't think it's I don't I don't think it's It's the it's the closet Persay that's causing the nuts to go bad. I think there are never sentimental conditions associated with that you know that storage Instance but not and also not every closet is going to be the same That's all I'm saying yeah, you You know, so it just doesn't feel like every closet.
Starting point is 00:01:48 And yeah, I think if you leave nuts in any closet, no matter the closet, they will go bad. I mean, okay, I will then that feel like you know, a tree. And you said a vacuum. Yes. You said a vacuum. Nobody's closet is a vacuum. You know, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, If you've got those clothes for deep storage, and put them in that thing and suck all the air out, and it's gotta be clothes. And if you go into the closet, where people have all those vacuum packs, and you see them stacked on this shelf in the closet, and you put a bag and nuts on top of those
Starting point is 00:02:37 vacuum things, right? And you go back and nuts there. They're gonna go bad, because they're in a closet. Um, Alistair, is there, you know, how like in, in, you know, in like Canada or something like that? I don't know if you know of the, you're aware of this country. But they, Canada? Am I right in thinking that like during winter, maybe in the year, or slightly year old, year times, but you might leave some things out overnight in the cold, you know, in lieu of refrigerating them. You know, you might, you know, put all your milk into a plastic bag on the end of a piece of string and dangle it out the window and then just haul it in in
Starting point is 00:03:18 the morning and scoop it out of the bag with your bare hands and it just and have some just have some frozen hard memories. Yes. Yes. That's what I have for that's what I have for ice cream and I love it. But yeah, just a bag. Do you think that in space at the international space station they do a similar thing? You know, they'll just keep some food just out the window on a bit of string. Not everything needs to be stored in an oxygenated environment. In fact, I dare say that a lot of things would do better outside the international space station. You can actually, in a zero gravity environment, you can take up as much stuff as you want and then just chuck it out the window
Starting point is 00:04:08 and just reel it in. You could have an extra wardrobe out there. That's true. I guess as long as you bring lots of twine, lots of twine up and then you can have all the storage space. All the storage space. To send you a big close horse, isn't it? In a way, yes, every direction is a clothes horse.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Could you dry clothes? I think you could, right? If you put, if you wash your clothes on, I imagine one of those big washboard things that they have up there to save electricity, doing like an old washer woman. And then to dry them, could you put them out in the vacuum of space and then the vacuum... You could. But think about this, every time you do that, you're taking a little bit of
Starting point is 00:04:58 the precious water that you have on board. And then you're putting it out and just letting it go for you. Yeah, that's right. And that must feel really good. A lot of washing. I would feel very wasteful. But you'll be like Elon is going to send another four minute. It's so, but it's so decadent, you know, like being able to waste those precious resources like that. You know, sometimes when you, get saving money and you just wanna spend a bunch, you know, just just, ugh, just do it.
Starting point is 00:05:30 And you'd be the same in the International Space Station with your precious life giving resources like oxygen. Or what are you just been doing? I bet you they do just go on shopping sprees because they're on the internet. Yeah. So they probably just are like, I'm just going to buy some records or I'm going to like, I'm going to have a couple of DVDs sent to my house so that when I get home I can watch
Starting point is 00:05:56 them. But, I'm going to buy a grand piano. I wonder what the biggest thing they bought. There's been bought from the thing. Anyway, let's go back to what you're talking about because that feels like it's closer to a reference, like a sketch or something. You know, it'd be really great because you know, I like they, they brushed their teeth. They just put a bit of toothpaste on there. They squirt a little mini bubble of water onto the toothbrush. You know, and then they
Starting point is 00:06:18 brushed your teeth and then they swallow everything and then they suck everything out of their toothbrush. Like you do. Is that what they do? Yeah, yeah, and they swallow everything and then they suck everything out of their toothbrush like you do. Is that what they do? Yeah, yeah, and they swallow everything. They swallow everything and then it goes down and they dispose of it through the butt, then it gets sucked out through the butt. They're kind of using the- But it gets turned into a more solid. The body is a sort of a waste processing facility, right? They're taking advantage of that, the fact that the body's stores and processes waste.
Starting point is 00:06:49 They might be other things that, like, part of our policy up there is also, like, if you're working with little screws, tiny little screws, it's dangerous for those to go to get floating around. They could get into the electronics. Swallow them. You just swallow them, and then you poop them out and they're dealt into the electronics. You just swallow them and then you poop them out and they're dealt with that way. Well, that's why they get sent up with with um, poopable screws. These are screws that can be digested. They can be digested by the human body.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Had it's only a matter of time before that turns up in our day-to-day lives. You know, I heard and this is, you know, this doesn't sound great, Elstair, but actually they've taken that whole process to the next level, which is that it turns out it's easier for the purposes of managing everything. If they're all the astronauts, then poop into one astronaut's mouth and then that poop goes through his system. And then there's only really one set of poop. They consolidate all the poop into one easy to manage.
Starting point is 00:07:47 And it's the one with the smallest butt. Because it's the one who can get closest to the little hole in the wall that they've created. Yeah. And they can poop directly out. It's like the one with the most accurate hole to hole shot, you know, like this is the guy who gets bulls eye every time or gal, you know, I apologize. So this is, but they like one of those astronaut videos, right? Where people and kids said it questions or ask astronauts how they do different things
Starting point is 00:08:19 in space. And it turns out that all the way they do almost everything is by shitting into somebody's mouth. Is that a sketch? Is that where we've got to? Andy, we're starting strong. After not Chris Evans, the mustache-y-odd. David Bowie and Susie. Space questions. And you're not gonna like it.
Starting point is 00:08:50 You're not gonna like it, but you've got to make sacrifices to do it in space. I wonder if anybody has ever ever done real. What's the weirdest sex act that's ever been done in space? That's all I want wanna know.
Starting point is 00:09:07 It's all I wanna know. I think I like the idea that, that like, you know, like, you know, on the Simpsons, there was that thing with like a, an ant farm broke. So good, great episode. Yeah, but I would love to see it in a, an astronaut be like, look the other way we can deal with this
Starting point is 00:09:23 and you gotta go around, you gotta go. Like that and try and suck up the ends. Yeah. You can go, just get your mouth right up against like, you know, like, I guess I'm kind of picturing like in an airplane, you know, like, there's the part up the top above your head with the light and the, and it's called
Starting point is 00:09:40 like, little plastic fixtures, but there's like, they're all compartmentalized and you can, but there's little gaps in between them and that you maybe you would have to like put your mouth up against the gap and just suck and hope that you know your suction is stronger than the grip an ant has on the, on the plastic mold. You can't count on that. I think a lot of, you know, astronauts when they come back to Earth, they lose a lot of muscle tone and that sort of thing. And they have to relearn how to do different things. I suspect.
Starting point is 00:10:12 But their rectum comes back like muscle. That was a one-reg. Well, I was wondering about whether or not one of the things that they lose is the ability to shit into a non-suction toilet, like a toilet and that just sits there and doesn't meet you halfway, doesn't do any of the work. Maybe they have to do, they just have to like, poop into it, tissue in their head and just sort of like wrap it up like a burrito and then just put it into a tube
Starting point is 00:10:46 like just slide it into a tube like a like a little mummified corpse and blast it out into space like it's like it's like it's like it's it's Tudon come and you're sending him up to HR for them to count all his money that doesn't make sense but But I was mixing two ideas. Those vacuum tubes were used up in through a message. Yeah, cool. And Tutin' Carmen. Has anybody looked into this?
Starting point is 00:11:12 I'm sorry, yeah, there's a lot of poo stuff very early on the podcast. But there's a seems to be. It's not a problem that I have personally. I'm doing fine. But seems to be a big market out there for people who have trouble on the bathroom, making everything happen. Has anybody looked at using negative pressure and getting a good bum seal and having a toilet
Starting point is 00:11:32 that does actually gives you a little bit of a bit of help with a bit of suction? Well, because people have strokes because they push. So the solution to that is that you want to have some pull. The toilet that makes you halfway with a little bit of pull. Does some of the work. Halfway toilet. It's a halfway toilet. And it's one way you don't push, but it's also for when you're down on your luck.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Like a halfway house? Is that what that reference is? Yeah. Which I guess if you can't get it out without pushing hard, you probably are down on your luck. Down on your luck. I mean luck takes all forms. What's a lot of luck? What's a lot of luck? No effort, poop. You know, it's a very narrow view of luck to think that it only takes financial forms when it can... What?
Starting point is 00:12:31 Yeah, what? I mean, my one example was pooping. I know. I know. I'm not correcting you. I'm talking about everybody else who uses the term down on their luck to exclusively refer. I, I, I, Alistair, that wasn't an attack. Believe me. When I come here, you'll know.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Let's turn it into one. You'll know. When I come for you, you'll feel it. You'll lie awake trying to think of comebacks, but you won't find one. Every one of my lines is a checkmate. Mm-hmm. There's, it's, it is an insult to which there is no comeback. Is that what we're suggesting? That's right.
Starting point is 00:13:12 That's pretty good. Like even. Is that an idea? Even the, um, well, what am I? Doesn't work on it. It's a, it's a comeback that. I know you are, but what am I? And the reason why it doesn't work on it,
Starting point is 00:13:26 because it's not something that you want. Mmm, really good. That's why. Yeah, I mean, it's got to be a pretty good line that has no comeback. Well, I think that this is... You can't even use... This will be something we can solve with quantum computers.
Starting point is 00:13:39 You know, like how the AlphaGo can play Go in a way that no one had thought to play Go before, when we have really, you know, we how the AlphaGo can play Go in a way that no one had thought to play Go before, when we have really, you know, we reach the singularity, the thing that is going to kick robots over the edge and make them so damaging to us, is not going to be their ability with guns and that sort of thing, it's going to be their way with words, their ability to just cut us down and go to the very core of us metaphorically speaking with the insults, the put down. Yes, but then also, you know, literally speaking and their ability to slice through the core of it. Cut us down to get into
Starting point is 00:14:21 where our organs are and cut those up as well. Yes, yes, but also they'll make us feel bad about ourselves and arguably that is a greater death than the one where your internal organs have been chopped up into little pieces. The only thing that will alleviate that death is the regular death from being chopped up. You're welcome it. You're welcome the internal whizzing. There would be a, I mean, this would be a great, this would be a great thing in like a crime show, right? Where they get this body in. And it looks perfectly healthy on the outside, but then they do the autopsy and they cut it open.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Then everything inside has just been fully blended just to mush. So they slice it and it just oozes it. And it's in a bag. It's like in a sandwich bag or everything is just mush. I think it's just mush. Like the body is the sandwich bag. And every single organ in turnal organ has just been processed to a uniform, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:32 goop frappe kind of sludge. Sludge. Sludge, yeah. Oh, sort of like a patet. Yeah, exactly. Do you see a patet? And I want to know how this occurred. I suspect it's done with like nanobots or something like that
Starting point is 00:15:46 But if you know you swallow some sort of tiny thing that's made out of ice. It's a robot that's made out of ice Right you swallow it. It's got a motor in there made out of ice also ice Right it's meat out of what's what's that other ice that's black ice? No, not black ice That's the one that you slide on on the road It's made out of, what's that other ice that's black ice? No, not black ice. That's the one that you slide on on the road. The one that's made out of carbon dioxide. It's even colder. I'd have dry ice.
Starting point is 00:16:12 But it can conduct your machinery could last for longer. Yes, right. And it just whirls around in there. Blends you all up and then melts. While this weird steam comes out of your mouth. There are no, like nobody's combining, nobody's doing like a CSI, but set in the future. Bones did it a little bit with their stupid hologram computer that was just ludicrous, but. Oh yeah, I like this Andy. Future CSI. Future CSI.
Starting point is 00:16:46 This is great Andy. Future CSI. Cause this is the way that we could get. A lot of just outlandish sci-fi ideas. And then just a regular comforting cop. Yeah, procedural. You know, procedural. Procedural. And where you know it's gonna be solved by the end,
Starting point is 00:17:08 it's all gonna be done. I think this is really something, Alistair. And because I, you know how I know it's something, because I've already worked at what the genre's gonna be called. What is it? See a sci-fi. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Oh. Oh. CSI-S-I-S-F-S-F-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S CSC-S-C-S-C-S-C-I-F-I. Yeah, CSCIFI. Yeah, that's, I mean, I felt really confident that I knew what it was when I started my sentence. Oh, no, I guess it could just be CS, I5, but then it kind of looks like, yeah. Sorry, sorry, because it's not really right. I thought it was. No, we can work on how to write it. We just get a graphic designer to communicate it correctly through big and small letters. I mean, a lot of listeners are probably screaming at their gramophone that they listen to this on. That there are obvious examples of shows that are exactly this and I apologize.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah. Oh yeah. But you know what I like about this is that nobody's ever going to be able to guess the twist, because we'll always have the twist be some as yet undiscovered technology. So it'll be that really satisfying. Or it'll be the murderer will be a character that wasn't introduced. That's the true, that's the true twist, That's the true innovation in these in in storytelling. But somebody's got to find a way to do that and still make it narratively satisfying. That's splitting the atom.
Starting point is 00:19:16 And either ZA turns out that there's a sort of an investing Indici called CSI 300 futures. And that feels like that could be the name of this show, but it's already taken as an investing Indici. I still don't quite understand what you're saying with this thing, but... Well, this could be the name of the show, three CSI 300 futures. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Is that already a thing? But it's already taken, I'm sorry. I'm confused. This name that you're not in any way convinced by for our show that we've just come up with. I'm sorry Andy, but it's taken. Oh, that's the shame. Anyway, one of the first ones is somebody's internal organ
Starting point is 00:20:04 so you're going to have been completely frappied by a robot made from dry ice. Yeah, that's great. I feel like some of the bullshit in some of those Dan Browns, like the Angels and Demons if you ever read that, like that's coming close to this kind of territory. He's not trying to, he's not, he's not going all the way, but there is a real clunky approximation to what we're going to pull off with this brilliance. Andy, we could go pitch this tomorrow. And we would be millionaires by tomorrow, sort of early, like sort of, I guess, about 1130.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I'm sorry, I guess, brought 11, 30. Sorry, I'm busy tomorrow. Depend, depending on when the meeting is, what time the meeting is, we wouldn't be, be rich before the meeting. It's not what, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, let's say if the meeting was at sort of 1050, yeah, in the morning, then I reckon by in the morning, yeah, not PM, the crazy times of book or meeting. But I guess you would be more free. At the crazy time to book a meeting,
Starting point is 00:21:05 but I guess you would be more free. But also maybe it's a meeting with Netflix, maybe that's just 10.50 hour time. Well, that's right. They don't have regular schedules like the TV. Yeah, you're right. So, but I reckon if it was 10.50, then we would be at least rich minimum by 11 or 5.
Starting point is 00:21:27 I'll say you know, you know what's going to happen if I get rich? I'm going to buy a lot of really, really old decrepit buildings. You know what I think you would actually do? You'd get really into smoking foods with very obscure types of wood. It looks very likely. You're like, you're like, look at this, I got this smoking thing and I got these hickory twits. I also, I'm more convinced that I'm going to get into bad metalwork sculpture.
Starting point is 00:22:05 You know, I'm gonna be welding old bits of machinery together. We know you're gonna get into bad metalwork injuries. We're just like, you know, you're just, yeah, you're trying to take like an old, coffee machine boiler and you're trying to solder it on to the old tractor. How did you know that I was looking at old coffee machine boilers on Facebook Marketplace yesterday?
Starting point is 00:22:33 Of course you are. You're looking for things that can end at all. Things with just one weakness and just 100 psi of pressure. It turns out that being this enthusiastic about metal work with this low level of skill in metal work is classified as a mental illness in the the dictionary of clinical psychology and I'm technically you know the more I do it the more I do it, the more I am, and attempting suicide. A part of my brain is actually trying to kill me without letting the rest of my brain know. I'm fucking to help you.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I wonder. Absolutely, Andy. I wonder, like, okay, is this two grim alistair, but like, what ifempts suicide, okay? And they fail and then we're at the point in the field. Wait does failing Does failing mean not killing themselves? No, but we're at the point in the future where We've identified the functional role of all the different parts of the brain and the components of the consciousness. And we find the part of the brain that was responsible for trying to kill them.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Because when you do something like that, it's not the whole brain that's doing it. You know, certainly the, you know, your reptilian brain that's responsible for controlling your breathing and that sort of thing. That's not doing it. Right? So we might be able to using scans and using stuff. I see where you're going with this. And then you go, you find the part that was responsible. And then you go and dig up the body of that person.
Starting point is 00:24:21 And you cut out that little piece. Yeah. And you put it in jail. Exactly. I mean, in my version, remember they weren't successful in killing themselves, so they're still alive. So I mean, in my version, it was done to be put on trial of natural companies. They then went on to die of natural causes. So this is a cold case. But, but do you think there's something
Starting point is 00:24:46 here that you could, you know, I think so, I think, yeah, part of the brain. And even it doesn't have to be suicide, does it, of course, because any crime was not committed by the entire human or even by their entire mind, but only a small defective criminal part of the mind. You know that TV show, Criminal Minds. Well this is a TV show called Criminal Bits of Minds. And they accept that the conscious agents in the mind can combine to create one large consciousness. Just dull consciousness indeed. And, you know, it's one thing to catch the body containing the brain that committed the crime, but then to catch the little bit inside the brain and chop it out with a knife and put it in little shackles
Starting point is 00:25:41 and lie it on a witness stand bench oozing and dripping and question it. Yeah, question. Well, you know it's capable of thinking and criminal intent. And then it goes, well, I was wondering, this is where my thought went when you first started it. And I think, I think that they're both very separate ideas. So I would, you know, it and seeing how I'll see how you feel about this. But we discover that people who had, maybe committed, you know, somebody's killed themselves or whatever. But we discover that there's much in the way that frogs when there's no males or females around they can swap sexes. Right? They can turn into the other sex.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yes. Turns out that we discover that there's a place you go when you die. And the reason why people were ending their lives was because their brain was alerted by the from both sides of existence, both the world side and the great beyond, that there's a call saying, we need soldiers, so we need people to have sex with us or whatever it is, you know they, and so that's what people, obviously to make people do that has to make them sad. But once they get on the other side, it's actually a really great time. And then they got a purpose.
Starting point is 00:27:36 What you've got here, Alistair, you don't just have a sketch out of it. You've got yourself a religion. You've got yourself the basis of an entire cult right there. So I guess I can't write it down can I? Because it's a cult rather than a sketch. Yeah, I'm sorry, I wish you could, but I mean it's I think that's I think that's very good. You know, I don't know much about this weird sex cult nexium thing or whatever it was called. Yeah. That's been that they've recently had going in the United States. But that sounds right, exactly right what they'd say. And this is 100% what is at the heart of
Starting point is 00:28:14 Scientology. It's all this crap. That works so well. You're not dying. you're being cold to the front lines in some sort of battle for the other side. How do we make it as funny as possible, I will say? Yeah, well, I guess the task that you're being called to could be itself a funny thing. Yeah, I bet it to get it. I mean, because I guess the idea could be that you find out what the purpose of humanity is, that we are a farm for some other worldly thing. Oh, that is very good.
Starting point is 00:29:00 You know, and sort of dying is us being called upon. Yeah. You know, when you get old, you're sort of a, you're a, you're a, a wizard, you know, old scholar. And that's what they, sometimes they need those to, you know, they need those who've seen a lot of life to, you know, either, you know, I don't know, to explain something to do statistics. But then sometimes they also just need young, strong people. Sometimes for some reason they need very small children.
Starting point is 00:29:34 They need very small children. But there are purposes for needing the innocent. It's actually bringing me a lot of comfort. I don't know if that was your intent here, but it's a lot of comfort. But I think, you could do something where it's like very built up in the first half. You get these voices from the other side and you get visions or something and you realize that you have this calling where you have to die to go to this greater job that is required of you.
Starting point is 00:30:04 And it's a huge step, but like you're so inspired by these visitations from what are essentially angels for all intensive purposes. And then you do it and you're dead and then you get there. And the job that they needed you for is like opening a jar or something like that. But the way in which you know, they're not capable of communicating in their way that is anything less than incredibly inspiring. And so you assume that your calling is going to be something really important,
Starting point is 00:30:31 but it's quite mundane. And then in a very inspiring way, as soon as you've opened the jar, they say, now get into the, you know, get sliced to pieces, booth. Get sliced to pieces. You know, because they're very wasteful with these, with this resource that they, that they build in this other dimension, which is us. Yeah, like if you, because they've got billions of us on tap. Yeah, the way, the way that, like if you if minds if conscious minds Were were just a resource that you burned through like disposable coffee cups It wouldn't mean anything to you if you if you could make them in a different universe where the
Starting point is 00:31:18 Physical laws were different and where time has a totally different meaning, you know from your point of view These things would arrive instantly when you required them. And of course, you would just throw them into the gutter, like the trash that they are. Yeah, just letting them fall into your fire bin. Everybody has a fire bin. Or magma bin. Well, it is an idealistic future, so it makes sense that everyone would have a magma bin.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Does it get much better than that? Download magma. Download magma from sospresents.com. I mean magma. Who wouldn't love the idea of being able to throw any object directly into a pit of you know small handy open magma pit in your kitchen and maybe one in every room. I mean, yes, you have to deal with the instant stink of whatever it was that you were getting rid of burning and most things smell terrible when they burn. Yeah, but maybe if you close it,
Starting point is 00:32:19 it's a perfect seal on there. Oh, that'd be good. You put it in, you dunk it in, and then you just close it, and it's kind of got a nice little seal on it. Oh, wait, you open it. Thanks, thanks too. You can come back out again. Well, maybe around the outside of the pipe, there's a little gap. So it's a pipe and then another pipe.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I guess to stop the hot pipe from being in your room, there's a little area in between the two. So it's a pipe and a pipe. And in that area. There's a little area in between the two, so it's a pipe in a pipe, and in that area, there's air being sucked down. And it vents too. So that any smells that come down, that float up gets sucked straight down into the pipe. I forgot for a second that I was talking to one of the world's premier magma engineers, and of course you'd have an answer for something like this.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Well, you know, I'm a speed round engineer. I don't like to stick around for the gritty details, but I'll give you a concept. That's what I want. I want that job. I want to be an engineer in some sort of scenario where the speed with which you come up with the idea is so much more important. It's almost for all intents and purposes, the only criteria is being able to answer it quickly. I knew a guy, my friend's long-distance boyfriend, he basically said, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was It'd be that paycheck. Yeah. Yeah. It might be, it might be my calling. Wow. It's like, it's like we've pre-sold out.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Yeah. It's good to get out of the way. You know, the struggle, the moral struggle. That's what's draining. Nobody's, nobody's buying, right? At this point, as far as I'm aware. But as soon as I get any sniff that anybody is, I want you to know that I'm gone, that I'm a shill. I'm a shill in a shell.
Starting point is 00:34:38 I'm a shell. That's right. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trends company in affiliates, National Average 12 Month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all safe and situations. Goldie Michelle.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Hermit crabs, Alistair, anything in that? Anything in Hermit crabs? Well they swap shells. Have we talked about Hermit crabs in the show in the past? Like a very obvious thing. The one with the all line up. But that is a very cool thing. I like that a lot.
Starting point is 00:35:43 They all move down one shell. But a very obvious thing. I like that a lot. They all move down one shell. But a very obvious thing that I feel like we probably would have talked about is the idea of, you fall asleep on the beach with your mouth open. And a hermit crab comes into the cavity in your mouth and it's you know I don't know if they think about the outer dimensions of the space But the inner dimensions would be very important to them and that's perfect for them And they just go in there with their little laws. I think about the outer dimensions. I know
Starting point is 00:36:19 I don't know that they would I think they I think they would absolutely to. But I think that would be a really big part of it. But I'm still okay with going with this idea. Thank you, Elastair. I appreciate you being willing to. It's a wake up. What I know is a very critical mind that you have. Andy, you wake up and you notice that sand is moving past your face. Exactly, indeed, yes.
Starting point is 00:36:47 And that you can feel it actually rubbing against your face. It's cool, it's moist, you're down by the wall. Yeah. You're being dragged along. And you look down, you know, down your nose, down towards your nose, and you see some legs coming out of your mouth, pulling you along. In your mouth, you feel, I guess that kind of, the shrimpie curled back, vulnerable back
Starting point is 00:37:22 of the hermit crab. And in between your teeth, oh no, but maybe he's broken all your teeth. He's taking your teeth out. Oh, fuck, okay. He's done this before. But this has to be, now there needs to be, that this hermit crab secreats some kind of neurotoxin that renders
Starting point is 00:37:49 you totally numb, right? And immobile. So, you're conscious, you can still move your eyes, and your bodily functions continue to keep you alive, but you are now just a vessel. It's turned you into a conscious, but, you know, basically locked in, it's only using you for the space in your mouth. That's all you've become. Functionally speaking. And maybe some of the other warmth for maybe you're having its babies.
Starting point is 00:38:22 So you've become a shell of a- Could lay the eggs down your shell. A shell of a man. A Michelle of a man. Oh my god, we become a shell of a man. And a Michelle of a man. Well, I do have an uncle Michelle. He was a Michelle of a man. And you're being dragged, I guess, along the bottom of the ocean then, in and out of rock pools. Well, I think once you go into the ocean, you start being a bit doomed, don't you? Yeah, I like to think, I mean, there might be any other reasons,
Starting point is 00:38:55 other incentives for this thing to keep you alive. Right? Like what does it get out of it? Well, we start to get into some of the, you know, the trouble is that we start to get into the world of the spider in the mouth. Yes, I realize that. I'm trying to keep the stream separated. But like, okay, so there is, I guess it's bringing you to,
Starting point is 00:39:21 it's actually not a hermit crab, but it's bringing you to its family. No, that would be too. So, a lot of creatures aren't warm-blooded, right? But there are benefits from being warm-blooded, of being able to keep a regulated temperature. And you're able to move quicker, you're able to metabolize quicker, that kind of thing. But what if you could develop some kind of parasitic or symbiotic relationship whereby you it's it's harnessing our body warmth. Right. So it makes it needs to keep us alive so that it can get that warmth and and operate at the level at which it's operating.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Well, it could go and live in a colder climate. It can. Yes. Great. And with the coming ice age, this is going to be all the more important. So you'll be being dragged along in quite cold environments. But it feeds you. It keeps you alive in some way, chucking back micro granules of organic matter down to the back of your throat. Would it eat you? Would it go in deep and then eat some little bits
Starting point is 00:40:30 and stuff like that, but it kind of, it keeps you alive because you're a continuous source of food. Right, yeah, I say that it would eat the non-essential bits of you from around the- Which evolution is taught, it's mined over time. Yeah. It's hardwired into their brain. I think this is good, Al.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I mean, because then it can sort of, it can sort of ride you like a raft as well. Yeah. I suppose, I don't know, being in the water for a while, you would just kind of become bloated and you'd probably float and it can sort of take you across the oceans, visit different different lorries.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Patelene very slowly with its little claws dangling out of your mouth. So I'm going to, you know, it just needs to paddle you to one of the co- Cross the vast distances of the Pacific Ocean. But you're still alive. And this is, this could be the future for all humanity in the end. You know, they might even still, you know, allow us to reproduce by dragging our bodies up against each other and sort of jiggling them
Starting point is 00:41:32 next to each other, because they need to create new shells. And meanwhile, our minds are still true. Yeah. In these things. And, you know, I think you know what I think would be the hardest, but I mean, I think it'd be nice to just, to succumb to the boredom and just kind of learn to enjoy it
Starting point is 00:41:52 But I think the hard part would be not being able to close your eye You don't oh you might you might it might still be over and you just have water in your eye for a lot of it. Yeah But I think you'd be fine. I mean you'd get used to that the bit. Yeah Let's be honest the eyes are probably one of the bits that it would eat out. You know? Well, I don't know. It might be, you know, maybe it's merciful in that way in that it lets you experience life, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:17 through seeing it. It's not a cruel being. It's also, it's also merciful. Merciful herb is grabbed. But also, I think maybe, maybe also it gets something. Because imagine, imagine, you know, you're floating in the ocean and your body sees some predator, right? I mean, you're just seeing it in some blurred, you know, under water kind of vision.
Starting point is 00:42:51 But you're paralyzed, but your body still reacts in a way that the crab, you know, with it, one of its feet, that it's sort of, you know, it's in your mouth and it's dug down onto it, to get one of its feet that sits on one of your nerves. It can pick up the signals. And it goes, there's danger around. and it kind of comes into the mouth a little bit more. Maybe grabs your lip with one of its claws and shuts the mouth. That's a bit, but I think it would also be very good for them. Like the next stage of their evolution would be the ability to stab some kind of nerve in the mouth that makes your legs kick so they can get a little bit of a first to speed, you know, when they need it. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:43:32 You know, one, I guess, one nerve for each one of their legs so that they can go, like that and really get you going. You know, I guess they can maybe tilt your head back and forth. That will probably determine whether you go up and down in the water. If this isn't already an episode of Rick and Morty, I'll be very surprised. Yeah. It seems like something they do. So either us or it's them, one of us has got this coming.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Well, I think it could be a great episode of Future CSI. I mean, CSI-Fi. You know what, you're absolutely right. The body is found a long way away from where it obviously fell into the water. Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. I don't know why I was writing it like that. It's got to be CSI and then just Fi. I was trying to make it look like sci-fi,
Starting point is 00:44:30 like have the S in there. Yeah, no, I mean, I understand that as well. Because otherwise, it's just CSI fiction. The abbreviation just means CSI fiction, which actually loses our unique element of the science nature of it. Yeah. So, and this is pretty sciencey so far, because it's kind of like, it's like ex files meets CSI, meets the future.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah, exactly. Star Trek Discovery. Yeah, exactly. Star Trek Discovery. Yeah. Yeah. But it's on Earth, or at least what you think is Earth. Well, yeah, that's going to be a big reveal for the last episode of Season 1. Of the first season. Correct.
Starting point is 00:45:22 First seasons. How are we going to get you idea was? Just out of interest. Let's see. One, two, three, four, five. I mean, you know, like, one of them is a cult. One of them is a, you know, a whole TV series. I don't know if we've got the sketch ideas, but you know what?
Starting point is 00:45:36 I'm willing to move on to our, uh, some suggestions from a list. Do you know this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know this? You've got this, you've Do you know this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know this? You've got listeners. Yeah, well, it still happened. And if anything, it's going gangbusters, Andy,
Starting point is 00:45:53 more than usual. That's so exciting. Thank you, everybody, who's contributed. Yeah, people are contributing. Yeah, we're getting some nice messages. We're getting some nice words. You know, sometimes we're getting some nice messages. We're getting some nice words. You know sometimes people just send us nice messages. Oh leave us nice reviews. People just Express how they feel. That's nice to hear
Starting point is 00:46:18 very very moved by this Alistair sent me screen grabs of kind of things that people say about us and You know in in things that he doesn't really have as much access. Well, you have access to the Patreon But you don't you don't spend your time. You don't have it on your phone with the app. No, but you're plugged in I'm plugged in but you know, I guess with how long it takes me to get back to people people would suspect it neither of us are plugged in but Hmm how long it takes me to get back to people, people would suspect it neither of us are plugged in. Are three words today come from listener, listener Erling Reinstead? Thank you so much Erling Reinstead. My God, do you know what Erling Reinstead's name is backwards? Do you want to guess?
Starting point is 00:47:01 No. Death. Well, it's Dad Sonar. Nielra. Fuck. I mean, I, you really got me there, Elle. Yeah. Okay, you want to guess his three words?
Starting point is 00:47:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crank. No. Yeah. Yep. Uh, crank. No. No. I'm just trying to guess the other two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lynch. No.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Okay, pantyhose. No. God damn it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, orientating. Yes. Spectator. Yes. Charisma. Orient hearing. Spectator. Charisma.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Incredible. Well, you know, obviously in orient hearing, you're given to, um, to, to, um, pieces of objects, right? Two tools, two tools. You get a map and you get a compass. And you navigate your way around the outdoors region to get to various markers and that sort of thing. But what if the type of magnetism that you are using to navigate was not regular earth magnetism but the animal magnetism of deeply charismatic and sexy individuals like George Clooney's and so with nothing but your own
Starting point is 00:48:41 throbbingly tuned libido you set loose naked into the woods and you have to navigate by the power roll. So let's say, so, you know how you're like, you can make a compass space of rubbing a needle, a metal needle on a on a magnet. Correct. You rub your penis. You rub a toothpick of wood, you know, like a wooden shaft, right? On a photo of George Clooney. Yeah, okay. And then it finds, it just starts getting pointed towards sort of magnetic heart. Yeah, great.
Starting point is 00:49:17 I don't know. True. Um, sexiness. Or do you think it just goes to, it points towards where George Clooney is and you said have go, well, this is his summer home. So he should be here at this time. Yeah, I mean. And so this? It's almost something, but I've lost, I've lost interest and faith in this idea already, answer. You're doing great things. But you got to remember that it is the spectators charisma. It is. The way my mind got onto this was originally from the thought that the compasses of ancient explorers could be diverted by strange magnetic islands and various local irregularities in the Earth's magnetic field.
Starting point is 00:50:09 And maybe similar things would be a problem if you were distracted by the sexiness of a spectator at your heart. Well, I guess if it just was attracted to hotness and you thought that you were, you know, you thought that the way out of the forest was, you know, towards sort of George Clooney's, sort of Spanish villa. You knew that that was Northwest and you were like, well, great. But instead, it took you to Goulag's house. Goulag! Who like them, you know, the machinist? Yeah, but who has an eight pack and just like, you know, like a speed skater's legs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Oh, you're describing exactly what I'm saying. And a butthole for my eyes. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He's got a long, linear buttholes. It's very... draw it out. Yeah, and... It's a butthole that goes the full length of the butt crack. Which...
Starting point is 00:51:15 Yeah, wait. The butt slit. You wouldn't... Yes, if you were just looking at the butt crack. And you didn't know that there was a single tiny Localized but hole inside it you'd probably assumed that the the anal open it comes up in sheets a sort of a Linear type thing
Starting point is 00:51:38 Right. Yeah, I wonder if it does that for a reason. Like is it trying to make animals not know where it is? Yeah, it could be. You know, they don't know which section of the butt cheek to enter. Like you've got a fly or a worm or something that's trying to infect you. It could waste a lot of time looking in the wrong section of the fold. That would make more sense if humans were born with the butthole randomly located in that trench. It could be at any point up or down it. It must be different from each person.
Starting point is 00:52:17 It's marginally different, but it's not radically different, not different enough to make this an evolutionary worthwhile. Yeah, but maybe, you know, maybe every fly is only just born. So for every fly, you know, how many butts are they going to encounter? Yeah, that's true, but I think it's going to be an arms race like everything. It's an evolutionary arms race where they'll develop an instinct, you know, the ones that are, that guess correctly based on whatever. Because then, you know, predetermined with a genetic makeup, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:54 some, some region of al-Adala has a fly that can find a human but whole. Correct. In seconds and lay its larvae in there. Yeah, at a higher percentage of success, it doesn't need to be a significant difference, but these are the things that on an evolutionary timescale really add up to being a significant advantage for your reproductive ability.
Starting point is 00:53:17 So. No, is this a sketch in any way, Andy? Sorry. I'm so sorry, I was there. Everything I've thrown out for this These are good words as well Yeah, these are good words. Oh, can you run it by me again? Orient hearing orient hearing yes
Starting point is 00:53:37 spectator charisma well Wow Wow. Wow. Look, this is nothing right now, but hang on, this is nothing. But, you know, in TV shows, angels have wings. But what about an angel that has two shovels?
Starting point is 00:53:59 And it's like an underground angel? Yeah, it's like an underground angel. Not a devil, not a demon. He doesn't live down in hell. He just lives underground. No, but digging is really is the flying of the dirt world, isn't it? Like,
Starting point is 00:54:14 digging is the flying of the dirt world. And it's crazy that angels would not have and have some sort of ability to travel through the the earth if the air is not an obstacle for them Like and it does also feel like there would be aquatic angels with like flippers for You know like it like yeah, there should be one angel and fire angels of an angel Where they got tiny little wings and they're very good at Manoeuvring at high speeds to catch up just a like a penguin angel. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that's good
Starting point is 00:54:50 And they probably have a quite a long flexible neck and then yeah dirt angel that is a kind of a bit mole-like probably blind probably naked and Living in a naked and living in a kind of life like. Do you think it's hands instead of shovels or do you think it's just sort of hands with big nails? No, I mean the angels already have regular hands and I think they would, you know, regular angels have regular arms and the wings are actually in addition to that, which is very evolutionarily unlikely and very unusual to have wings as a separate thing to your arms.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so I think the dirt angels would have regular arms, but then also coming out of their back, two shovels. Ha-ha-ha-ha of their back to shovels. Two regular garden shovels. Do they are they kind of like attached like a scorpion's tail? I think they would have to be. They just kind of sticky.
Starting point is 00:55:53 They'd have to have that flexibility. The the shaft or handle of the shovel would have to have a prehensile almost like rat tail like ability to move and scoop. I think two rat tails, two... I mean, it's, look, you can see it's the similar mechanism to the wings, but instead of the bones going out to the side, they kind of go up and over the shoulder and they hold the shovel and they dig for you.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Of course, having such a big wide thing like that is super inconvenient when you're traveling through tiny underground tunnels. Well, I think they're angels, you know, I mean, what's the alternative? There's the top of their head, they're halo, spins around, and it has a tungsten carbide. And then they drill.
Starting point is 00:56:43 And I think their power is that they can make this soil just rich and soft and very tilled. Like you can run your fingers through it, you know? Yeah, so that's their power. They enrich in the soil, but then also create little boroughs under there in which they live. All right. And watch the parallel in that for air angels angels? Because angels don't do much for air quality
Starting point is 00:57:07 as far as I'm aware. They don't feel to pollution out of the atmosphere, unless there's something I've missed. Well, these angels, they're not here to serve man. Okay. You know, those are other, you know, air angels are there to come and Help people they're sent by God to help people, but these angels are Firstly, they're they're in the contract So it's quality it not even related to God in any way. Is that what you're telling me? They're not related to God. They're just part of the sort of the ecosystem split off of the angel species They haven't been coerced. They haven't been sort of co-opted by any big deities
Starting point is 00:57:51 who's looking for henchmen to do his work. And they just live in the dirt. And they actually, they take care of the dirt and they try to make sure that the dirt is nice and aerated and that trees are good and plants, it's like they kind of serve mother nature. I mean, I feel like what we've invented here is kind of the art. I feel like what we've got here is an earthworm.
Starting point is 00:58:17 I've made it to a complicated one. Yeah, but in human form with two big long things. Wow. Okay. And they're beautiful. You know, maybe under the dirt, like under all the sort of the grubbiness that they have, you don't see their face that well. This is a sketch idea, Alice. They rotted down, rotted down, over your't fit that. No, dirt angels.
Starting point is 00:58:47 But it's something that we said after you read out the three words. So I believe technically, if anyone were to read the fine print of the podcast, of which there is, it's very fine that print. It would say that this meets the criteria on. This is something I've thought Andy just off-poded. And it's not really a funny thought, but it's a good question. In Pokemon, there's no animals, there's just Pokemon, but there's humans. Really, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:59:20 There are no animals. Pokemon have taken place of the animals. But is that explicit that I have taken the place of the animals? Like, no, no, I just mean in, so this is what's either having, because then if that's the case, where did humans come from? Right, how did we evolve? Yes, very good question.
Starting point is 00:59:41 How did we evolve? So, either there were animals, Pokemon wiped them out and replaced them with their own Pokemon ecosystem, but it's so long ago because these Pokemon have evolved a very diverse, I mean, he's over 650, a very diverse ecosystem. What about of over 600 and 50 bacteria, to bacteria exist like zooo bacteria? I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know if humans can survive with that.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Well, you look down into the gut of the, you know, what have ash is his digestion aided by tiny microbial Pokemon. Yeah. And do they say their own name exactly? So it's just something to think about I'd say that or humans are the aliens on this planet. Yep There may be their aliens. There must be like a cat or something in Pokemon like somebody must have a pet cat There must be like a cat or something in Pokemon. Like somebody must have a pet cat.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Right, it can't be no animals. I bet there's some. I bet if you watch all of it, you see some... No, no, the Pokemon or something. Pokemon are the animals. It's basically you replace animals with Pokemon and then you can sort of, you don't feel so bad about fighting, sort of in a kind of a legal dog,
Starting point is 01:01:04 fighting kind of man. How is it that you're that helps you to feel less bad? Well, because they're not real. Oh, I see. Yeah. So if the whole game was get dogs, train them up, and then fight them. Do something so your dog can breathe out. Well, no, I think just regular dog fighting.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Just regular dog. In the Pokemon universe, Pokemon, their version of Pokemon is just dog fighting. And when you're collecting Pokemon cards or whatever, it's just various different vicious dogs. And so they play a video game that is just dog fighting. It's like dog fighting. Yeah. And in the end, the switch Pokemon go is called
Starting point is 01:01:57 dog fighting go. How's that? Dog fighting go. And you just go from place to place and you find dogs that you can catch and then you go to... And it's just incredibly vicious and unpleasant. And then you don't catch them in those little balls, you put them in a cage and then you poke them with a stick until they're angry. And you've got to carry the cage around with you.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Or drive it in the back of your pickup truck. Oh, Christ. You can carry six dogs at once and you pick up truck. When did you have this horrible idea? One in the front. You said this was an off-pot idea. When did this horrible thing occur to you? Well, I didn't have the dog fighting bit,
Starting point is 01:02:44 but I did have just that, you know, just because my son's been playing a little bit of Pokemon, and so I've been thinking about the Pokemon world, and how? Alistair's got an Nintendo Switch now. Where does it come from? I got that from my birthday.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Very exciting. But mostly everybody else has played it more than me, and I like that idea. Well, that's nice too. We better tell you the sketch ideas today. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Astronauts solve most solutions with eating and pooping.
Starting point is 01:03:14 So any problem in the thing, which is a great idea from the get-go here. Very proud of that. Basically their bodies are used as garbage disposals to dispose of anything that's kind of, and I guess they have to make everything at least poopable. It's good philosophy. If you never take anything to space with you that you didn't, don't think that you could eat and poop out.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Yeah, exactly. Then you got future CSI or CSI-Fi, which is, you know, exactly what you heard us say before. At Lake. A CSI show where all the murders or all the deaths are caused by some weird, sci-fi idea that these people have to solve, and it's going to be really hard to solve. But, you know, maybe we can give them clues. It would be cool to make sci-fi mysteries like that. Then we got part of the brain that causes you to attempt,
Starting point is 01:04:12 causes a person to kill themselves is put on trial and then thrown in jail. Yeah, with a wet, splat sound, when it's thrown into its cell. Yeah, but then maybe it gets corrupted because at some point it will get out. Well, I think I might come try and find the problem. This is the problem. You're throwing all these sections of criminal sections of brains into the prison system
Starting point is 01:04:36 together. They're going to cobble themselves together into one fully criminal brain. And Andy, we have just found an episode of CSI-5 because now you've got a criminal super brain that's going around and killing people and you've got to find out what all of these people have in common now did they all take their own lives they're're all dead. But what? They got rid of that part of the brain. These murder victims, they all have something in common. Then they are dead. They're dead. Yes. Yes, but something else. And rotting. Yes. But a third thing.
Starting point is 01:05:30 third thing. Something of a calling card left by the killer is the death of his victims. Yes. Then we've got a cult that explains that suicide is the brain calling you to the front lines on the other side. And that we're like, you know, we might be sort of like a farm for some other worldly creature or purpose that, you know, call upon us by either killing us through some disease or through, you know, us making us by either killing us through some disease or through, you know, us making us want to die. And then they bring us there and they get us to open jars for them more. They could. You know, or they look at our cute baby face or they do whatever.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Anything that we, you know, anything that we do could turn out to be the thing that this, that a larger civilization is using us to harvest. We don't actually know what the product that we are designed to create is, it could be tweets. There could be an alien civilization that just loves tweets. Our entire evolutionary history has been building up to the point where we're able to produce high quality refined tweets for them. Yeah, like 10 years ago they went, oh, they finally started making them great. Yeah, well, it's like a when an apple becomes ripe or a tree begins to fruit. Yeah, we're just sitting somewhere in a tweet bowl and they've been waiting for us to get ripe.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Then we got the hermit crab dragging you around by the mouth, usually was a vehicle, they feast on you, take you around the world for the oceans. Yeah, you know, if this has already been on an episode, I hope we added something more to it. Yeah, I don't think we this one has. Then we got dirt angels. Yeah, I don't think we this one has. Then we've got dirt angels.
Starting point is 01:07:26 Of course. They're part of the sort of just a side species of regular angels, but they're free agents, but their inclination is to work on the soil and just make the soil better. And maybe they breed with each other. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Maybe they're eternal. And then we have in Pokemon the humans play a dog fighting video game. But for some reason I wrote video getting. Thank you so much for listening to The Think Tank God, it's good that you do that. It is incredible. Thanks so much for doing it. Hey, you son of a good. I don't know what we can contribute to these guys already massive existing success, but you should watch the new Auntie Denna Donner show on Netflix. Check it out. Yes, what's it? It's super funny. It's so good. So exciting.
Starting point is 01:08:38 It's really good and fun. And there's so much stuff in there, there's only six episodes, but they need a second series, they deserve it, and there's some of the best guys. Yeah, they're genuinely, real funny, and as somebody who likes sketch stuff, it's very nice to see it done extremely well, and I really laughed very hard. Me too, God it's good, And I'm very proud of them. Yeah, me too. You can find us on Twitter at 2ntank. I'm at Alistair TV.
Starting point is 01:09:13 I'm at Stupid Old Andy. You can also find us on Instagram at 2ntank. I'm at A. Trombling, virtual. You can review us. You can donate to the Patreon. You can get magma from SOS, present. That's right. And you can also just, you can donate to the Patreon, you can get magma from SOS prison. And you can also just sit there and relax and just have a great night. Thank you so much. And we take care to you. We love you.
Starting point is 01:09:36 You. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. It's not optional, you have to do it. We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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